#but if you use a comparable idiom or say what they mean your leaving out the language and what they're actually saying
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somestorythoughts · 4 months ago
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Thinking of like, the Jedi and other natborns being just as confused by the clone trooper idioms as the clones probably are by their idioms.
Like a Jedi will say a mission is a piece of cake (a padawan probably, most of the knights know not to challenge the Force like that) and their troopers are just. So confused?? What is cake? Why is a mission a sweet? Or they'll say they're feeling under the weather and the medic will be like "that's a condition??"
But troopers will insult each other like "your tube was boiled" or make comments like "wtf did they put in his tube?" "Salt that's why he's blond and a bastard" and laugh and anyone nearby is Very Confused.
I do however think that becasue Kamino's weather is Like That, they know at least 30 different idioms for "it's a fucking downpour" from the trainers.
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theshippirate22 · 1 year ago
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For the Good Omens/ Taylor Swift Game
for @band-geek-727
Out of the Woods
Okay I was so excited about this one!!! This is such a good one just because of the sheer amount of biblical allusions that fall within the idea of woods or forests. Like Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote an entire book about it, that is now used as torture for high schoolers. Like, forests are often seen as respite and peace from the daily noise and chaos, starting around like. The Industrial Revolution. when machines and stuff started ruining the environment. It’s the place you go that’s quiet enough that you can speak to God and shit like that, like you become in touch with your innermost self. However, BEFORE the industrial revolution (think Salem Witch Trials era), the forest was where you went to meet the devil. That’s where you signed his black book and became a witch and probably danced around naked and stuff idek. That’s probably exactly why Anathema lives in a cottage in the forest. So it’s a good start there.
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I’m thinking that real first scene we see them together in, when they get roaring drunk about the impending apocalypse and from where they are now, armageddon was like. nothing compared to the shit going down now. in hindsight, it all seems so simple
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First off, there’s a literal Polaroid of them But the real good stuff here is that this is arguably the time period that Aziraphale realized he actually liked Crowley, not in a like-like way but like a hey i’m more than fond of this guy he’s my best friend sort of way. Which means, it’s also the moment that Aziraphale starts to come to terms with the fact that he’s more ambiguous than other angels. Angels are good. White. Right? And Demons are evil. Black. But Aziraphale realizes that he isn’t just white. and Crowley isn’t just black. They’re ambiguous. Or, you could say, in screaming color…
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So this is kind of a double entendre here because on the one hand, it’s the actually idiom of “out of the woods” meaning out of danger, which they basically spend every second since Adam was born in, even after armageddon doesn’t happen, so there’s that part of it. But also, like I said before the woods are this dichotomy of some higher power happening which leads me to-
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So this could definitely be a reference to the moment they switch back into their right bodies and Crowley looks to see if anyone’s watching-which they aren’t- and says “all clear” (i think. something like that). But it also plays into this symbolism that the woods/forest are God and Satan, and therefore also the domains they epitomize- Heaven and Hell- and that to properly get out of danger, Crowley and Aziraphale have to leave the “woods” altogether- Leave Heaven and Hell. Which is exactly what Crowley has been trying to do
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I mean. Come on.
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It’s giving “You go too fast for me, Crowley” 😭😭
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They have that one fight where Crowley says he’s leaving and he’s taking all his stuff and going to Alpha Centuri. I don’t even know that’s just what I immediately thought of.
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Okay this one is a little bit of a jump but i feel like it works so i’m using it anyway- just stay with me here. So we’ve established that the woods are Heaven and Hell and their stupidass inability to get along. If you really think about it though, it’s not Heaven™️ and Hell™️ that are keeping them apart. It’s not even God and Satan. It’s actually their bosses that don’t want them together- Gabriel and Beelzebub. They are then the monsters. Okay stay with me here. So you know that saying that’s like “i can’t see the forest through all these trees” or some shit? It’s basically saying in this context that Heaven and Hell are both made up of individuals. It’s not just a forest without all the goddamn trees right? Which, by that logic, Aziraphale and Crowley are both trees, but you know who else is? Gabriel and Beelzebub. They’re literally just like each other. I don’t even know if that makes any sense but it made sense in my head lmao
Anyway! Thank you so much for letting me rant about this!!!
*SEND ME A TAYLOR SWIFT SONG AND I’LL TELL YOU EVERY LINE THATS ABOUT INEFFABLE HUSBANDS AND HOW*
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shieldfoss · 1 year ago
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Do learn Zig
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There are at least 5, possibly more, ways of making a programming language after C that don't do like C++
Nr 1 is to just not try for "better C" and instead do something completely different - for example Haskell.
Nr 2 is to look at C++ and say "We agree that X is a problem with C that needs solving but come the fuck on" - for example Java using garbage collection and Dispose() instead of RAII (And Java is old enough that it gets to re-use C's excuse "we made this language before better alternatives were well known," but also RAII isn't necessarily the best approach? I like it but it's completely legitimate to prefer something else.)
Nr 3 is to look at a problem in C, look at C++, find out that C++ solved this problem but... maybe the cure is worse than the disease? It would appear nobody has found a strict improvement so let's just... I guess we'll do like C here? This is for example Go's original approach to generics - C++ templates are complicated. I immediately think less of any language that won't let me have something equally powerful but they are complicated.
Nr 4 is to look at a problem in C, look at C++, find out that C++ solved this problem two+ decades ago, and then not solving the problem in your language because you don't want to be like C++, here I am looking directly at Go and the decision not to have a non-null pointer type in the language AND not to have the compiler error if you dereference a pointer without checking for null first what the fuck is wrong with you.
Nr 5 is when you do nr 3 but you're wrong about it and smug about how you're wrong and exclusively engage with strawman arguments rather than deal with the fucking truth, this despite your mistake actually going against the core values of your language. Andrew. I'm talking to you Andrew.
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Anyway Zig doesn't have the concept of public/private fields, meaning every single fucking class has to pick between
(1) encapsulating with the inefficient pimpl idiom like we do in C
(2) checking invariants on every function call, leading to conditional branching and a ballooning of the error set
(3) lmao skill issue if the user modifies the struct that's on them hope you like Undefined Behavior
(4) doing some really ugly reinterpret casting where the struct has its regular public fields and then just one opaque byte field that you internally cast to- and from- your actual internal representation (this is a subset of "skill issue" but it's more obvious to the user that they aren't supposed to touch the bytes).
None of those are OK! And Andrew completely doesn't engage with it, talking about Java's proliferation of getters and setters which become unnecessary if you just leave the fields public bitch the point is I don't want the user setting these values! There won't be any setters!
To compare with C++ briefly:
There are essentially two ways to create a class that represents a dynamic array that matches the container concept.
Externally you need to be able to query: Data, Begin, End, Size, Capacity.
If I'm programming like Andrew seems to think I do, I make a struct with 5 private fields, and then I write 5 getters and setters.
And I don't understand how you can be smart enough to invent Zig but dumb enough to think it's acceptable to create a 40 byte object here with broken invariants when I can do it in 24 bytes with fixed invariants hence the name.
He understands the value of invariants elsewhere! For example, he has made it so pointers cannot be null, meaning I don't have to check if they're null inside every function! I just want the ability to make the same kind of invariant guarantees for my own types.
I am so incredibly tired of seeing people make new languages that fail to learn from C++
I don't need a new language to be strictly better, e.g. it could be argued that for Rust, almost every choice they made was either an upgrade or a sidegrade, sacrificing some things to gain other things they wanted more. It is a very worthy competitor and, longterm, probably the winner of that competition, even though C++ is better for some niche things.
But languages like Go and Zig just. I get so tired when they fail to do the most elementary things. "C also doesnC was standardized in 1989 what is your excuse?
C++ is not a perfect language. We have learned so many lessons since Bjarne set out to make "C but better." And by "we" I mean, apparently, not everybody.
I am so incredibly tired of seeing people make new languages that fail to learn from C++
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yuyuntianyu · 4 years ago
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[2HA analysis blog] To love you is torment but leave you I cannot
I wanted to write this (hopefully not-too-long) blog to give 2HA fandom a different perspective of the events in the past timeline. I noticed that there are many little things that could not be carried over to the English language. These little things can give more explanations to our characters’ actions so I hope sharing this would help the novel make more sense. This blog focuses on Taxian-jun and Chu Fei.
Warning: Spoilers ! ! ! Taxian-jun and Chu Fei are their own trigger warnings ! ! !
Despite the novel having 350 chapters, we really know little about what happened between Taxian-jun and Chu Fei besides the abuse and mistreatment and that little is relayed to us by the Most Unreliable Narrator of the Cultivation World - Mo Ran Mo Weiyu. If we only take Mo Ran for his words then a lot of his and Chu Wanning’s decisions told later on would seem irrational and almost silly. So let’s dive deep in the past so we can understand how the great cultivator Beidou Xian-zun could raise such a dumb husky since the events in the past would explain the more irrational decisions made by both main characters.
Given Mo Ran’s narrator is about as reliable as his character in the first 120 chapters, we have to look at other more subtle clues and some of them are due to cultural and linguistic differences.
1. I used to like you a lot
At his coronation day, Taxian-jun stated that he once greatly looked up to Chu Wanning and that he used to love and respect him dearly. Maybe I am reading into this too much but this is my theory: The flower could erase the memory itself but cannot erase the feelings associated with the memory. He had his memories of the good deeds Chu Wanning did for him erased but still remembered that he used to love and respect him. It doesn’t make sense unless it is indeed that the flower could not erase its host’s feelings. So throughout the novel, Mo Ran’s complicated emotions are complicated possibly because he could not remember how he came to have these feelings. Similarly, Hua Binan could mess with the undead Taxian-jun’s memory to a great extent but could not erase his obsession with Chu Wanning.
2. I gave you a new title
Chu Fei. 楚妃. In the Imperial Chinese harem hierarchy, “Fei” means consort and not concubine (嬪 “Pín"). Consorts were highly respected positions in the palace weidling much political power and were only seconds to the Empress Consort. Another major difference is a consort would be married to the emperor while a concubine would not. So if Taxian-jun had truly wanted to only humiliate Chu Wanning and keep him for the carnal pleasures (I am intentionally ignoring his breeding kink completely), he would keep him as a concubine but he gave Chu Wanning the Consort title and hid him from the world. At this point, Taxian-jun had almost lost Chu Wanning once and had spent a lot of effort to bring him back from the verge of death after hearing Chu Wanning’s apology so his anger might have softened a bit. Also, given that Chu Wanning is a man, having a legitimate offspring ( (I am still intentionally ignoring Mo Ran's breeding kink completely) is not an issue so although this is not clearly stated, I believe Taxian-jun wanted to force a relationship and somewhat proper marriage on Chu Wanning. Another hint of this is in an Extra chapter where Taxian-jun tried to get Chu Wanning a birthday gift. He recalled that in his past timeline, he had wanted Chu Wanning to give him something on his birthday as well and that he had wanted Chu Wanning’s heart.
3. Shizun likes to write letters and poems
On Book 3 Chapter 247, Chu Wanning sat down and wrote a few unsent letters to the people he used to know. He also wrote a few lines of poetry. In the first few lines taken from different literature works, he expressed his sense of helplessness and his wish to remain untainted despite the circumstances. The more important two lines are from a poem written by a real poet named Fàn Chéngdà ( 范成大) who lived in the 12th century Southern-Song dynasty. The two lines read:
“May I be like the stars, may you* be as the moon. Night after night, may we shine together side by side.” **
*In the original work, the character used instead of you is “jun” 君 (as in 踏仙君 Taxian-jun). 君 could mean king, emperor, lord, or gentleman ** This is my rough translation - I haven’t found an English version of this poem
These two lines are commonly used in romantic novels as a way to express one’s unchanging love and loyalty to another person despite the circumstances. He compared himself as the stars and wanted to remain by Taxian-jun whom he viewed as the moon. Chu Wanning wrote this to express his willingness to stay but he would never voice this out loud. In the next timeline, he did the same thing by quietly loving and caring for Mo Ran 1.0 despite the mistreatment and was content with never expressing his feelings vocally. Mo Ran was rather uneducated and thus could not fully comprehend these two lines and misunderstood that Chu Wanning was missing Xue Meng.
4. You are all I have left
In chapter 252, after Chu Wanning returned to The Red Lotus Pavilion, he found Taxian-jun already waiting for him. Taxian-jun told Chu Wanning about a dream he had and said:
“I am afraid I don’t resent you… I want to resent you… Otherwise, I…” “In the end, it’s just you and I”.
This is not the first time he expressed that Chu Wanning was all he had left or they only had each other. I believe that at this point, Taxian-jun might have somewhat believed Chu Wanning and recognized that his memories were missing. His words and behaviors seemed a lot more gentle and he mentioned they did have periods of time where their marriage was easier. I believe it was after this point. He told us about the numerous times he attempted to spoil his consort or expressed his affection through gifts, a trip outside the palace, goods, jewels, and even teaching Chu Wanning how to cook or personally taking care of Chu Wanning when he was sick. At one point, Taxian-jun expressed his wish for a more peaceful marriage with Chu Wanning through his breeding kink by saying that if they had children, perhaps they would be more civil towards each other.
Edit: I really wanted to go about this blog without having to refer to their particular taste in bed
5. Are you still mad?
This is a smaller detail but in the original text and the Vietnamese official translation, the way they talked to each other had a bit more of the “husband-wife” dynamic. Especially Chu Wanning ( l┐(︶▽︶)┌ ), the comment section said he sounded like when your wife is mad that you didn’t take out the trash but still says: “I’m not mad” and Taxian-jun, the husband, would come around and ask “Are you still mad at me?” after every fight.
6. I did not think you would really leave me.
On Chapter 99, Mo Ran recalled the fight between him and Chu Wanning after an assassination attempt. In order to convince Mo Ran to not go to Taxue Palace, Chu Wanning said:
“If you destroy Taxue palace, if you kill Xue Meng, I will die before you”.
Now the line “I will die before you” in my language is less of a suicidal ideation but more of a threat. It's used when a person already knows that they are important to the other person and is using their own death as a threat to make the other person do something. This line is thrown around a lot during heated arguments between people close to each other but they almost never mean it. (Even my mom said it numerous times before T_T . I personally think it’s manipulative). Therefore, it is understandable Taxian-jun did not take this line seriously and replied almost mockingly. After all, they had been married for almost a decade at that point, Taxian-jun probably felt somewhat comfortable that Chu Wanning would not do anything reckless. He could not foresee that Chu Wanning meant what he said and actually followed through with his words. I believe that if Taxian-jun had known that Chu Wanning was serious, Taxian-jun would not have gone to Taxue Palace. 7. Don't leave me, ok?
Then Chu Wanning died and Mo Ran spent two years alone. In those two years, we know he basically went insane because of grief, talked to a corpse everyday, and deep fried his Empress Consort. But strangely enough, Mo Ran 1.0 did not immediately mention this after being reborn although it was the main reason he committed suicide. And at that point, it had been well over a decade since Shi Mei faked his death in the past timeline, yet Mo Ran 1.0 seemed to still hold a lot of resentment towards Chu Wanning. Also, he said he could accept Shi Mei’s death but would never accept Chu Wanning’s. So honestly, it did not make sense to me the first time I read the novel and I believed Mo Ran resented Chu Wanning for a different reason.
The answer was first hinted at in chapter 9 when Mo Ran scolded the sleeping Chu Wanning. He called Chu Wanning a donkey hoof (lol) and this is actually an idiom to scold someone who is disloyal and unfaithful in love. The puzzles came together when the undead Taxian-jun showed up and immediately went after Chu Wanning (and not Shi Mei). He believed Chu Wanning used his death to hurt him and was angry at Chu Wanning for leaving him. This is the resentment Mo Ran 1.0 carried over to the next timeline. He hated Chu Wanning for abandoning him. This is solidified in chapter 262 by the undead Taxian-jun pleading to Chu Wanning:
“Don’t betray me” “Don’t leave me the second time. The first time you left, I could choose death as a relief. This time, even death is not an option any more… I won’t be able to bear it…”
So there it is! I hope this blog brings some new information and feel free to discuss! Let me know if you have any questions for me \( ̄▽ ̄)/
Disclaimer: Plenty of this is my conclusion drawn from the already ambiguous original text and various translations. Unless Meatbun says it, it’s not canon. I am looking at the novel in three different languages so I might have made some mistakes. Pls forgive. Also, I am not making excuses for Mo Ran 0.5’s actions nor am I justifying the abuse in any way. Chu Wanning never said Mo Ran 0.5 was innocent of these crimes nor will I.
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kenkamishiro · 4 years ago
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Lost in Translation: Choujin X chapter 1
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Fun fact, I was planning to do fan translations for Choujin X with a scan group until it could get a simulpub release, though I didn’t expect it to get one from the very first chapter lol. I’m happy though since it means everyone can read it right away and it doesn’t mess up my schedule.
So instead I’ll be making comparison notes between the EN and JP text to supplement the official translation. I’m not doing this because the official TL is bad (I actually think it’s pretty solid and I hope it will maintain this quality) but because it’s inevitable for something to be lost in translation, and it’s nice to have that additional context for theory crafting and whatnot.
If you want to read it on Twitter instead, the original thread is here, but this is the proofread and way more detailed version 😄
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This translation isn’t wrong, but there’s an emphasis on それ (which is TLed as ‘it’) that connotes a stronger, “other, that thing” feeling that isn’t present here. The general idea behind this sentence is: That [becoming a Choujin] resembles more of a disease [than a transformation].
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Ely talks like a tomboy, she uses rougher speech patterns and the pronoun オラ (ora), a derivative of the masculine 'ore'. But it's a bit old-fashioned (eg. すまなんだ) which makes sense considering her upbringing with her grandfather on a farm. Hence her country bumpkin speech pattern in English.
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Not sure if I should use Ellie or Ely? Ellie makes more sense based on the kana, but Ishida explicitly called her Ely so I might stick with Ely for now... (also istg that blond guy with the huge chin is a reference, I've seen him somewhere)
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Tokio, I know your teacher is annoying, but it's rude to call her that lol. This is basically the oppai equivalent of paisen (senpai backwards, it’s slangier). Similar thing actually happened with Ely describing her dream hubby as Goldilocks instead of blond; ‘kinpatsu’ (blond hair) was inverted to become ‘patsukin’, hence the translation as Goldilocks.
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Kurohara Tokio (黒原トキオ) and Higashi Azuma (東アヅマ). Kurohara is a common surname, means 'black fields'. Tokio is in katakana, so it’s hard to say what kanji it could be. 'Toki' could be 時 (time) or 外喜 (outside + delight). The 'o' can be the common male name suffix 男 (boy).
But when I think of Tokio, I think of TK's song called 'tokio'. You can read the translated lyrics here. If these lyrics end up being relevant to Tokio's character development I will eat my shoe lol.
Higashi means 'east'. Azuma (which can also be romanized as Aduma, it’s a softer ‘zu’ sound which is why Tokio called Azuma ‘Aju’ earlier in the chapter before correcting himself) is an archaic form of ‘east’. So...this guy is literally East East. The Choujin X equivalent of Moon Moon 😂
Someone also informed me that Higashi Azuma is a station in Tokyo, though the kana are slightly different (アヅマ/あづま vs. あずま). They effectively sound the same though nowadays, if I have to be honest. It’s like comparing the difference between 애 and 에 in Korean.
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Tbh this is minor, but worth mentioning just cause it changes the meaning a bit. Tokio is saying something more like, “Why are we even talking about this [the roly-polies] again?”
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I think I heard people talking about how the official TL doesn’t match the original text, but personally I really like how this was translated! Sis is using the expression  「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」, which literally means “boiling the dirt under someone’s fingernails and drinking it”. By taking the dirt/grime under the fingernails of someone that you admire, and boiling it and drinking it like a tea, you can become more like them.
But because idioms don’t tend to directly translate well between languages, translators often have to adapt it so that the meaning still remains the same. In English the closest idiom we have to this is “rubbing off on someone.” The “holding hands” bit was added to replace the physical aspect of “taking the dirt from someone’s fingernails” and also contribute to Sis’s sassy and very informal way of speaking.
So Sis is saying in JP (ignoring her personal speech style for now):
You should take the dirt from under [Azuma's] fingernails and boil it so you can be more like him.
And now in ENG it becomes:
You guys should hold hands or something, then maybe he’ll rub off on you.
It now sounds natural in English, still carries the same meaning as the original text, and also suits the character’s speech pattern.
Moving on, in that same panel the literal TL of Tokio’s dialogue is, “Policeman Azuma got dispatched again today,” emphasizing Azuma’s heroic deeds along with his family connections to the police. Another thing I want to note is that this is the second time Azuma has been called 偉い (erai) so far - noble, and now great guy. I’ll just dump the general English definition of 偉い from Jisho here so you get the general idea:
Great; excellent; admirable; remarkable; distinguished; important; celebrated; famous; eminent
But you can tell from how people describe Azuma as 偉い that others look up to him, think he’s a great person and Mr. Perfect. Always being placed on a pedestal by others. (What are the odds this will affect his mentality after the Choujin serum?)
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The meaning is still pretty much the same, but I’ll offer a slightly different perspective. Sis mentions that if she were Tokio, she’d burst from the [Azuma] complex. (Clearly Tokio and Azuma's relationship is gonna crack at some point)
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Tokio mentions an idiom about hawks (taka) before recalling his childhood memory about vultures. Vultures are called 'hagewashi', but in the chapter it mentions they can also be called 'hagetaka' (buzzard/condor, literally bald hawk).
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The kids call him names like "Hagetaka Tokio" and "Hageo". But Hagetaka Tokio only really works in JP cause Hagetaka kinda mimics his last name (Buzzard Tokio doesn't give the same vibe). Same with Hageo. Hage-o = Bald-o = Baldy.
I also think Buzzard was chosen over another name for a vulture like Condor because Buzzard can pass off as an insult.
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I would have translated this as, “I wanted to be a lion too...” but this is just personal preference.
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A continuation of the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression Sis used earlier. Without the adapted idiom the exchange goes something like this:
Tokio: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?
Azuma: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.
Tokio: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.
Azuma: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.
But since the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression was modified to make it sound natural in English, it means this conversation has to be modified too.
JP: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?
EN: My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you. What do you think?
The “dirt from under your nails” part got adapted to “holding hands”, hence how the 1st line from Tokio becomes, “My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you.” “Can I have some?” makes no sense now in this context now, so it was changed to “What do you think?” as a question to Azuma to keep the similar conversation flow going.
JP: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.
EN: Huh? What’re you talking about? No thanks.
Azuma’s next line is similar enough to the JP text except for the removal of “scary”. I think the reason it was most likely removed is because leaving it as it is could be constituted as homophobic (2 boys holding hands, absolutely nothing scary about it as bible thumpers would like people to believe).
JP: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.
EN: She said to hold hands so you’ll rub off on me.
Tokio’s response to that is explaining what he meant by his proposal. In the original text he lays out the latter half of the idiom (he doesn’t even realize it’s an expression, poor boy), and in English he does something similar by going into why his sister said they should hold hands (so Azuma can rub off on Tokio).
JP: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.
EN: C’mon. That’s not how things work.
Azuma’s then rebuts Tokio’s proposal as ridiculous. In the original text he drops a typical straight man response (don’t do *insert whatever ridiculous thing the idiot suggested*). But since Tokio’s proposal in English isn’t as preposterous, his rebuttal is toned down in response by telling him not to take it literally.
Ultimately, even though a lot of this dialogue was changed, I still think it was successful in maintaining the original’s intent. Tokio takes his sister’s sarcastic suggestion literally and brings it up to Azuma, who dismisses it as silly. It would be nice if we could keep the expression as it was in Japanese, but in instances like this where it’s played off of in multiple lines, that’s easier said than done.
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軟体 isn’t an actual word, it’s made up of the kanji soft + body. So kinda like Elastigirl, but Flexi was chosen instead. It doesn’t sound 100% right, but I don’t think I could come up with anything better.
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Replacing the しい in 楽しい with the C plus that elongated pronunciation makes Johnny sound even more like a stereotypical Yankee, which is why he sounds like that in English 😂
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Random but I found it interesting how Azuma called Johnny a youkai (妖怪) instead of something like bakemono (化け物) or obake (お化け) since they’re shapeshifting monsters.
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Tokio is worried that if he doesn't do something right now, he's going to lose his friendship with Azuma. The sentence is fine as it is though.
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Azuma’s line can also be worded as, "No hard feelings, okay?"
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Bestial = 獣化 (juuka) = beast+change = beast transformation
That’s it from me, if you have questions about the TL feel free to send an ask or reply to this post, I promise I’ll check my inbox more often this time 😂
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kieraelieson · 4 years ago
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Logic Still Needs Comfort
A fic for @im-a-creepy-cookie as a part of @sanderssidesgiftxchange! I did your touch-starved Logan prompt!
Warnings: detailed sensory issues, joking mention of death
Logan disliked being touched.
It had been known for years. They all knew it. Surprise hugs or claps on the shoulder startled him unpleasantly and even made him upset sometimes. Touching his hand to get his attention made him jump and frown. He himself had compared the experience to having a bug or an animal suddenly landing on him.
And so Roman and Patton learned not to touch him aside from the occasional celebratory high-five. Which was fine. Everyone was fine, and happy.
And then came Virgil. And accepting anxiety as a valuable part of Thomas. Which changed things.
••^*^••
“Hey, um… L?”
Logan turned to see Virgil fidgeting but staring at him with an intent look. “Yes?”
“So, um, well you know I told you how Remus is practically a leech, and there wasn’t any getting away from it, but I’m not saying Patton isn’t great! But just Roman is… Roman, and just, but Patton really is great but I kinda don’t want to get turned into a teddy bear, and you’re all calm, and I’m, well, I’m sort of missing the calm and….” Virgil looked down and huffed out an annoyed sigh. “Oh, this is gonna come out awkward any way I say it. Can I sit next to you? I just wanna play on my phone and maybe stick my legs over your lap or something.”
Logan cocked his head to the side just slightly. “You wish to stick your legs over my lap while sitting next to me? That seems like it would involve terrible posture.”
Virgil gave a little breath of a laugh. “Any way I sit involves bad posture.”
“Actually, occasionally when you sit you replicate what is sometimes called the ‘primal squat’ which is reported to be excellent for your posture.”
Virgil gave him a lopsided grin. “Ok, you got me there. Maybe. But anyway, would you mind? It’s totally fine if you don’t want to, I’ll head back to my room.”
Logan considered it carefully. It was true that he did not enjoy touch. But this seemed as if it would be relatively calm, and would not require much, if any, reciprocation on his part. “I do not ‘mind’,” he said, utilizing Virgil’s turn of phrase.
He was currently standing, reading a book he had taken from the bookshelf he was standing in front of, and had not yet decided whether to stay with this book or choose another. He quickly pulled out the other two he’d been considering, and tucked all three books under his arm before seating himself on a couch.
It was a pleasant place, the memory library. Calm and quiet, with almost a heaviness to the air that Logan found enjoyable in a way. It was also rather dim, however, at least in this area, where the memories were older, and Logan found it necessary to summon a side table with a lamp on it so that he would have suitable light for reading.
He’d momentarily forgotten about Virgil until the couch cushion dipped beside him. Virgil pulled off his shoes and glanced at Logan.
“You really don’t mind? I mean, I know it’s kind of invasive to your space. You don’t have to say yes.”
Logan nodded. “I am not opposed.”
Virgil very tentatively put one foot up on Logan’s lap, leaning back against the arm of the couch. Logan felt again that sudden unpleasant ‘something touching me’ feeling, but it passed surprisingly quickly, and by the time Virgil had fully settled himself, laying on his back with his knees up over Logan’s lap and his feet on the other side of Logan, the feeling was gone entirely.
Logan propped his book against Virgil’s knees and began to read.
He was a little surprised, when Patton called for dinner, to find that they had been there for close to two hours, and that the unpleasant feeling had never returned. Instead he was feeling warm, and comfortable, more than he had in quite a while. He attributed this to the couch. And perhaps the warmth was a slight raising of Thomas’s core temperature, due to stress at having Anxiety so close to the old memories. Perhaps they ought to have sat down somewhere a little further away.
Regardless, he was about to comment, as they got up, at how pleasant the experience had been. Except that as soon as they both stood up, he found he was suddenly and extremely unpleasantly cold. This alarmed him, and he left without discussing anything with Virgil, concerned that the warmth and sudden cold was a sign of sickness, perhaps only his own but perhaps a symptom that Thomas was sick as well.
He went straight to the miniature control center he’d set up in one corner of his room, pulling up all of Thomas’s vital signs as well as a recording of where he’d gone that day. But everything was normal.
The cold seemed to be fading somewhat, though it was leaving a concerning ache behind. And it seemed to be concentrated on his thighs and forearms, of all places.
Logan looked through his list of sicknesses, sensible and nonsensical, that he had somehow contracted over his life, and found nothing similar. Still, this must be a sickness of some kind. Most likely a nonsensical one, as he hadn’t noted similar symptoms before. Perhaps he would discover some absurd idiom Thomas had latched onto that was causing him to experience physical repercussions. Something similar to ‘brain freeze’ perhaps.
A soft knock at his door caught Logan’s attention.
“Yes?”
“Logan?” Patton’s voice asked. “Are you alright? Virgil told me what happened. He didn’t realize how much you don’t like being touched, and I think he’d like to apologize, but he’s really worried that you’re upset with him.”
“What—“ Logan had left rather abruptly, and without expressing to Virgil that he’d enjoyed their encounter. It was very possible, with Virgil’s anxiety, that he had misinterpreted Logan’s abrupt departure. “Ah. I see.” He waved a hand to open his door. “I am not in the least upset at Virgil. There seems to be a misunderstanding.”
“Oh, good.” Patton said, concern all over his face. “But you should probably tell Virgil that, and there’s some dinner saved for you yet.”
Logan nodded, the ache in his forearms and thighs rather distracting. “Thank you, Patton.” And then it hit him. If it really were an odd turn of phrase Thomas had attached to, Patton would certainly know it. “Have you happened to notice any interesting phrases recently?”
Patton frowned in confusion, indicating that Logan had changed the subject too rapidly for Patton to keep up. But then he grinned a little. “So today, I saw a baguette in a cage at the zoo!”
And then it was Logan’s turn to be confused for a moment, before he realized. “Ah, I didn’t mean a joke-“
“It was bread in captivity!” Patton smiled brightly, nearly laughing at his own joke.
“Yes, thank you, Patton,” Logan said, allowing the tiniest bit of an amused smile to show.
Even that slight encouragement made Patton beam. “Well, I told Roman that I would watch Disney with him tonight, so I’ll have to go, but don’t forget to talk with Virgil before you eat, and don’t forget to eat either!”
“I won’t forget,” Logan promised, a softer smile showing.
But as soon as Patton left he clapped a hand over his mouth. Why was he so… easily swayed? He prided himself on keeping a straight face, and yet now he’d smiled at Patton’s pun! What was wrong with him?
And now, with Patton leaving the room, it was as if the heat had been sapped. He was again very uncomfortable, aching and cold and he didn’t understand why. Was he perhaps experiencing some strange and extreme form of separation anxiety? It had set in both times as another side had left, though in different ways. But he didn’t feel anxious.
It was all incredibly strange.
But it seemed that Virgil was under a rather upsetting misconception. It could wait. He would speak with Virgil first and then look into this strange sickness further.
Logan crossed the hallway to knock on Virgil’s door.
The door opened almost immediately, Virgil looking as though he’d been waiting on someone to knock, and that Logan had not been the one he’d been expecting, based on the wide eyes and generally startled appearance.
“L, I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have asked if I’d known, I wouldn’t have wanted to make you uncomfortable—“
“Virgil, I assure you, I was perfectly comfortable. I would have expressed discomfort if I needed to.”
Virgil blinked, and the deep black of his eyeshadow faded somewhat. “You aren’t mad?”
“Not at all. I enjoyed the calm company you provided. I left abruptly upon discovering symptoms that indicate possible sickness.”
“Oh.” Virgil was silent a moment, gaze flickering away from Logan as he processed. “Wait, sick? Who’s sick?”
“I may be, though it is odd, and perhaps not a sickness at all.”
“Well, what is it? What’s going on? Are you ok? Is it contagious?”
“I do not know. I am experiencing a strange cold, and aching.”
Virgil’s eyebrows creased in concern. “That doesn’t sound good.”
Logan nodded seriously. “That is why I left, trying to discover what it could be.”
Virgil nodded in an encouraging, ‘go on’ kind of way.
“I haven’t found anything yet, but Patton informed me of the misunderstanding between us and reminded me to eat dinner. I intend to do more research afterwards.”
Virgil nodded. “I could rubber duck for you, if you want. Maybe I could help a bit.”
Logan stared, trying to remember what the phrase was meant to convey before revealing his confusion. He was certain he had it on a flash card somewhere, but he’d left them in his room.
Virgil rather obviously quashed an amused smile. “You tell me what happened, and then we see if we can figure it out together. Repeating the details can help you connect them better sometimes.”
“Ah. Yes. That does seem useful. Thank you.”
Virgil gave him a lopsided grin, pulling up his hood and closing his door behind himself. “So when did you first notice the symptoms?”
Logan explained his symptoms and research to Virgil as they went downstairs and sat down at the table.
“And I still have very little of an idea of why,” Logan admitted. “I believe it possible that it’s another of those idioms that we sometimes experience physically.”
Virgil nodded very slowly. “I actually… might have an idea. I have an experiment I’d like to try, but if I explain it fully it’ll bias you and it probably won’t work.”
“Go ahead,” Logan said, opening the Tupperware container of spaghetti. “What is your experiment?”
Virgil reached one hand across the table. “While you’re eating, give me one hand.”
Logan considered, reaching out to hold Virgil’s hand. “Does this have something to do with checking pulse? You would be able to do that more easily with my wrist than my hand.”
Virgil shook his head. “Just eat, and when you’re done we’ll see how it goes.”
Logan frowned slightly. “Do you believe this has something to do with how recently I’ve eaten? Or that it could be influenced by the focus needed to do something with only one hand?”
Virgil chuckled. “I’ll explain once you’ve eaten.”
Logan was far too curious to wait patiently, and ate quickly, pushing away a not-quite empty container. “What is it?”
“Are you feeling warm again?”
Logan took a moment to assess, and realized that yes. He was feeling warmer. The ache as well was completely gone. “I am. Is it the food?”
Virgil offered a rather sad smile. “Alright, now let go of my hand and tell me what you feel then.”
Logan let go, and almost immediately the cold rushed back. He frowned. “But why? Why do I suddenly seem to have my physical temperature tied to the proximity of you and the other sides?”
His hand ached, and he held Virgil’s again, relieved, but utterly confused when the unpleasant feelings faded.
“I’ve had something like this,” Virgil said. “But not quite the same as yours, based on what Patton was saying. I think you’re probably touch starved.”
Logan considered this silently.
“But I don’t like being touched.”
Virgil gave his hand a slight squeeze. “You don’t seem to mind this.”
Logan nodded, very slowly. “You’re right. I… I don’t mind this at all.”
“I think we should talk to the others,” Virgil suggested.
Logan nodded slowly. “I suppose so.”
••^*^••
“You’re what?!” Patton practically wailed, throwing himself at Logan in a hug.
Immediately Logan felt like he wanted to crawl out his skin. This was miserable. In no way what he wanted. It didn’t feel right at all. It was like a whole hive of insects were buzzing just below his skin.
He pushed Patton off of him, more roughly than he would have intended. “Get off!”
Patton stopped immediately, staring in confusion and hurt.
Logan couldn’t handle it. He was freezing, and his skin was crawling, and his mind seemed filled with static. It was terrible. He just couldn’t.
He barely understood the words directed at him from the other sides as he sank out.
He locked his door and shuddered, hands repeatedly making and releasing fists. He shuddered again, trying to dislodge the crawling feeling. It didn’t leave.
He’d been right, he didn’t like touch. Not at all.
He got into the shower, running the water hot and scrubbing the disgusting feeling away. It helped warm him up as well, which felt way better. He bundled into his bed, pulling the weighted blanket that had been a gift from Virgil over himself.
A while later, finally calm and comfortable, he conjured a note to stick on the door.
I am not upset, but please leave me alone.
••^*^••
Logan spent the next several days figuratively buried in research. He investigated touch starvation as well as touch aversion, and a host of other possible clues to his situation.
He also gradually became more uncomfortable, holed up in his room.
He came to the conclusion that he did, in fact, have a kind of touch starvation, awakened to a roaring hunger by that pleasant afternoon sitting with Virgil.
But he also certainly had an aversion to being touched in certain ways. And he suspected, looking into it more, that surprise was a large factor, as well as the amount of him that was being touched, and perhaps the way in which he was touched.
He was basing this largely on his own reactions to Virgil’s method of touching, as compared to Patton’s or Roman’s, since he highly doubted that it was something inherent in them that he was averse to.
Finally his findings were all put together into one detailed, though as of yet hypothetical, presentation. Armed with this, and a determination not to touch anyone until he’d presented his findings, he opened the door to his room.
As he’d suspected, there was something attached to his door that made a noise as it was opened, and he was soon nearly mobbed with the other sides. They didn’t touch, or come too near, or say anything, but all came very quickly to stare at him, worry in every gaze.
He raised his folder. “I have a presentation. Please gather in the living room.”
It didn’t take long. Not at all.
Logan opened the folder and set it on top of the tv, so that the images could be seen.
“I believe Virgil was correct in suggesting that I have a degree of touch starvation.” He flipped through a few pages, supporting this statement with both facts and personal experiences.
He paused. This was the part that was likely to hurt feelings. Even he knew it, and he wasn’t usually adept at understanding feelings. But it was necessary.
“However, in satisfying this hunger, I will need to be ‘picky’. I have boundaries outlined in this section, and I need to keep them rigidly. This will mean that I will not be open to surprise touch, and likely not to hugs either. I would like to have support from each of you, support in accordance with what I’m capable of handling.”
“Absolutely, Logan,” Patton said. “I’d really like to be able to help you in the right way.”
Both Roman and Virgil nodded very solemnly and enthusiastically.
Logan smiled, more moved by this expression of support than he’d expected to be. “Thank you, Patton. And thank you two as well. I will be very much in need of your assistance.”
He cleared his throat, more in an attempt to gather himself together than any really obstruction. “I’ve laid out a number of methods of touch that I believe would be helpful to me, and arranged them by likelihood of success, and also divided by which I believe each of you would be more inclined to enjoy yourselves.”
••^*^••
Logan was seated on his bed, organizing and updating his flashcards, when there was a knock at the door.
“Come in.”
“Hey,” Roman said, peeking in rather shyly. “Um, can we try one of those things now? I brought something to do.”
Logan considered, a slight curl of worry in his stomach. “Yes. I believe now would be a good time.”
Roman fully entered the room. “So I can sit behind you, and do my thing, and I won’t bother you while you do yours.”
Logan smiled slightly. “That sounds pleasant.”
Roman grinned, a bit of pride evident in his expression. He sat behind Logan on the bed, facing away from him, and leaned back slightly, so that they were each leaning against the other.
For about thirty seconds, Logan was uncomfortable, but gradually, warmth spread out through his body, and his mind was able to return its focus to his flashcards, and soon he found he was quite comfortable.
“Hey, specs, what do you call a little tiny shovel? Like the ones for kids. Or I guess not for kids, or not all the time.”
“That would be called a trowel, though perhaps a more recognizable, less correct term would be a spade.”
“Thanks!”
Logan could hear the smile in Roman’s voice, and smiled himself. This was genuinely pleasant.
Even after he had finished with his flashcards, Logan didn’t move. He just soaked in the wonderful warmth, answering whatever questions Roman had, and occasionally listening as Roman gushed about a particular sentence or paragraph he was especially proud of writing.
••^*^••
Logan walked beside Patton, enjoying the false nature of the imagination. He was familiar with much of the flora and fauna, even a decent portion of those entirely invented within Thomas’s mind. And Patton seemed to enjoy Logan’s rambling as much as Logan enjoyed the rambling.
A hand bumped gently against his, and Logan hesitated a moment, before linking his pinky finger with Patton’s.
Patton’s smile grew even brighter. “And you were saying the seeds of that tree are special? What kind of special are they?”
Logan smiled proudly, launching into an explanation. Patton swung their hands back and forth gently as they walked, and Logan felt something within him fill up. He felt pleasantly full, as if there was a cup inside him that had been long empty, and was now trickling over the rim, full enough to even spill.
••^*^••
Logan and Virgil laid out on the roof, looking up at the night sky. They were side by side, with Logan’s left leg tangled up with Virgil’s right.
It was calm. And warm. And peaceful.
In a reverse of the usual pattern, Virgil was the one telling the myth, this time of people who had lifted up the sky.
Logan felt himself drifting off, more comfortable than he could remember being in a very long time. He was figuratively floating on soft, warm clouds. Drifting into a summer night. He was safe, and content. Comfortable.
••^*^••
“Patton,” Logan said slowly.
“Hmm?”
“I would like to attempt a hug.”
Patton turned all his attention to Logan. “You sure?”
Logan nodded. “Yes. Just— slowly. And gently.”
Patton nodded solemnly, reaching his arms out.
Logan slowly leaned into the embrace, and Patton gently wrapped his arms around him.
And it wasn’t bad.
Logan hugged Patton, squeezing lightly before letting go. “Thank you.”
Patton’s eyes were all shimmery, and his smile wobbled. “You’re welcome, Logan!”
••^*^••
The door burst open dramatically and Roman ran in, flopping over the arm of the couch and letting out an even more dramatic groan. Then he peeked his eyes open, and moved to just as dramatically flop onto Logan’s lap.
“I fought dragons.” He announced, his voice a whisper as if he were inches away from death.
Logan, for once, was hit with a burst of mischievousness, and patted Roman’s face in an intentionally awkward way. “I will be sure to mention it at your funeral. I’m sure you’ve written an extensive ballad, and I’ll force Virgil to sing it in your honor.”
Roman had a sudden grin before resuming his ‘dying of exhaustion and probably wounds’ act. “Make sure you do,” he croaked out. “And have Patton put flowers in my casket.”
“Of course.”
Roman went limp, closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out.
“Patton!” Logan called. “We’re going to have to put on a funeral.”
“A what?!”
••^*^••
Logan leaned against Virgil’s side, his empty cup of coffee set beside him, as the second movie began to wrap up.
“If they start another movie, you can lay in my lap and go to sleep,” Virgil offered quietly.
Logan, who despite the coffee was beginning to nod, hummed an affirmative.
He was woken up a good deal later by a lack of sound, and found that they’d just finished what might have been the third, but could’ve been the fourth or fifth movie of the night. He was laying on a pillow in Virgil’s lap, and his legs were up in Roman’s lap. And judging by Patton’s smile, pictures had been taken.
“We’re finishing up now,” Patton whispered. “And setting up to sleep out here. Do you want to stay in here or go to your own room?”
Logan yawned. “It will be far better for my posture to go to my own room… but if you were to turn on a sound machine… I would not be opposed to remaining here.”
Soon, something between white noise and rain lulled him back to sleep.
••^*^••
They all found a marked improvement, both in Logan’s mood and even in Thomas’s clarity of mind, as they continued experimenting with touch.
It was discovered that Roman, while not starved, was also touch-hungry, and was practically a giant dog in that he would accept any and all kinds of petting.
And as Logan regulated, he found he was even more ready to give touch than to receive it. Roman flopping onto him after ‘terrible and glorious battles’ became a regular occurrence, often ending with Roman falling asleep, Logan gently scritching at his scalp.
Walks with Patton became something they both greatly enjoyed and looked forward to. Sometimes they could only link pinkies, sometimes holding hands, sometimes even walking arm in arm.
And Virgil was always ready to do something of his own near Logan, a limb draped over him or pressed up against him.
Logan found himself repeatedly thinking back to that one afternoon in the memory library, incredibly grateful that Virgil had asked, and that he had said yes. He could see so much in his life that was better now.
And he was really, truly happy.
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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 4 years ago
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hey so “find me” dropped on premiere and i just watched it, so you know what that means??
it’s review time!
(super rambly as usual) spoilers under the cut
before i say anything, let me say, IT’S FINE, Y’ALL. as predicted. people are gonna be dramatic bc there are daryl/leah scenes, but like...we been knew? and some of them were rly important caryl-wise. (tbh, the episode was kind of boring and just a set-up for other stuff, lmfao)
okay, review:
opening credits, which i think most of us have already seen, were cute. obvi there was some weird tension with daryl that leads to the coming-to-a-head thing at the end, but their banter is still cute af
they went fishing and daryl’s reaction to carol was adorable, and there’s an important parallel later on, so bookmark this
similarly, there’s an important parallel to carol’s “the dead catch up to us eventually”/daryl’s “i ain’t gonna let it”, so bookmark that, too
dog is the instigator for the flashbacks, so if you wanna blame anyone, blame him. he races to the cabin, which for some reason daryl, who spent five years in this forest, seemed surprised to see? didn’t you literally map out that whole area, my dude? whatever
cue flashback!
i might have the scene order mixed up, but i think it starts with daryl being all sad by himself, and then dog as a puppy shows up and he’s like “!!! a dog!!!” which is v cute, and then he runs back off. we don’t meet leah yet
we see carol and daryl having a conversation while standing on opposite sides of a river for no reason except to probably symbolize distance or maybe covid, lol. the conversation basically goes:
carol: things are different
daryl: yeah
carol: how long are you gonna be out here?
daryl: -shrug emoji-
carol: i get why you’re out here, and i’d join you if things weren’t...
daryl: different
carol: yeah
daryl: yeah. anyway, it’s gonna rain, and also i’m having emotions, so ttyl
the end
at some point we see daryl sitting with an extremely unhappy face while it pours rain on him in the dark, and i want that as a reaction gif IMMEDIATELY 
also the rain destroys his “where in the world is rick grimes?” map, which makes him v upset and scream-y, and we get the idea that he might be going a bit bonkers being all alone looking for a dead (or, ig, kidnapped by helicopter) man
in present day carol finds the note, and is like “oh dunk, she lived here??” so she knew about leah, and daryl’s like, “i already told you everything,” and carol’s like, “no you didn’t,” so we go back to flashbacks (but i’m still not sure what parts carol didn’t already know?? whatever, it’s not that important)
i’m just gonna hit the highlights of the flashbacks bc they were not that thrilling:
first time daryl meets leah the dog leads him to her cabin, and leah ties him to a chair and holds a gun to his head being like, “what are you doing on my land?” bc apparently you can claim whole forests during the apocalypse, and daryl says very little, and eventually she lets him go
next time dog finds daryl and he brings her back and leah is like, “the dog likes you” and they’re kinda flirty, and then daryl says very little and leaves
next time daryl is surrounded by walkers and leah shows up and helps and they hide in a tree and are awkwardly close to each other and daryl cannot handle the close physical contact so when the walkers pass he says very little except to tell her to never come back again, lmfao
the next flashback is my favorite bc daryl just fucking
goes to leah’s cabin and throws a fish at the door???
i laughed for ten years
he throws a fucking fish and then stands there for a minute like “is she gonna notice that i gave her a fish??” like, no, dumbass, you didn’t even knock, you just threw a fucking fish at her fucking door, what is wrong with you??
no wonder it’s taken him and carol so long if he thinks throwing fish at people is a smooth move. boy has NO fucking game
anyway, leah gets him back by finding him and throwing the fish at his head, being like, “wtf, don’t throw fish on my porch?” which, fair, leah
IMPORTANT CARYL PARALLEL (from here on out known as “caryllels”) #1: so earlier i mentioned the carol fish thing, and apparently the same thing happened with leah, where she speared a fish on her first try and daryl was like “tf?” v blatant “we are supposed to be thinking about carol and daryl’s relationship during this scene” sort of thing
leah’s backstory is bland. had a family, they got eaten or disappeared or something. she, her adopted son, and dog’s mom got away, but the kid was bit, and died the same day dog was born, bc ig when god closes one door, he replaces your dead son with a puppy, or however the idiom goes
ONLY PART THAT GOT ME LEGIT EMOTIONAL: 
leah asked daryl who he lost, and he says, “my brother”
asklfdjaslfdjskl
god i miss rick
i hated rick for so long and now i miss him so much
but i digress
IMPORTANT CARYLLEL #2: leah and daryl have the same “the dead get you eventually”/”i ain’t gonna let it” conversation as caryl had earlier, only daryl is playing the role of carol in this scenario, so again we’re supposed to be comparing the two relationships. lemme get through the rest of the summary and then i’ll tell you my opinion on what that means
fuck what even happens next?
i have these out of order bc they were all the fucking same, but the two of them get closer, and there is the vaguest suggestion of sex ever. you literally only see daryl’s hand
then jump-cut to them sitting at the table being emo, ig bc daryl was gonna go back to look for rick for a bit, and leah is like “who do you belong with? your brother you won’t stop looking for? your family that you left? [side note: that seemed rather pointed, like, “hey hoe, you abandoned your family, that was kind of a dick move”] or me?” and he says he doesn’t know, and she’s like “yeah you do, now choose”
jump-cut to caryl scene where carol finds him at the river and says that she won’t be visiting as much, and daryl’s like “k” and they have a brief argument where daryl’s all snippy, like, “what? do you want my permission for you to move on with your life? i’m not still emo about the fact that you’re moving on with your life, and i also don’t think it’s contextually significant that every time you show up in my flashbacks you explicitly mention that you’re married and have a kid,” and carol is like, “bro, you need to Get Your Shit Together and come home”
jump-cut to daryl having what i’m assuming is an epiphany that carol/fam have all moved on while he was out being emo, and so he decides to go be with leah, except, plot twist! she’s gone. the picture of her and her son is gone, but dog is still there. daryl leaves the note, which says, “i belong with you, find me”
for those freaking out about the wording about the note, may i remind you that she specifically asked, “do you belong x, x, or with me?” so he was just answering the question
aaaaaand back to present day
carol is like, “what do you think happened to her?” and daryl is all -shrug emoji-, and then she’s like, “...do you think she might have just...you know...left?” and daryl gets rull offended, which was kind of funny
(she probably just left, bud)
carol tells daryl to stop thinking that when people leave it’s bc of him, and connie’s name gets thrown into the mix, and daryl gets a “oh here we fucking go” look on his face, and it sets him off
he said basically what we were already spoiled for. “you just want to run, you don’t know when to stop, i shouldn’t have taken you off the boat bc you still just want to run” etc
and carol looks fucking HEARTBROKEN, which hurt me, and she goes into the other room and we end the episode with daryl staring forlornly out of the window 
the end
okay
so quick analysis
i think the significance of this episode is supposed to be so we have an understanding of why daryl is suddenly so !teamfamily, and !teamfuture, and how badly he wants carol to be there with him. at one point, one of them even says, “this isn’t about leah, or connie,” or anyone but the two of them. the title “find me” feels significant, bc the whole episode is daryl grappling with where he’s supposed to go, and what his purpose is, and by the end, he says to carol, “i know where i belong,” (implying, with her and the fam), pulling us full-circle. in the first flashback onward he is lost, but by the end he is found -cue amazing grace-
daryl and leah were flirty, but to me it felt very much like something that was just being used as daryl character development. we barely got anything that juicy between the two of them (except the fish throwing thing, that was amazing), and i still don’t think that it would make any sense, regardless of the showrunner, to pair daryl up with some rando after having so many other choices that people would have preferred. i don’t think we’re meant to #endgame ship it, so much as we are supposed to be like, “oh, ok, daryl learned the power of family and stability and leveled up, -you know what that is? growth gif-” as a result, i literally have no idea what leah’s role is gonna be in s11, but i don’t think it’ll be a huge plot point
so now we firmly know where daryl stands. he is all about moving forward, not looking back, and doing the best he can, and he’s frustrated bc when he took carol off the boat he wanted her to be in the same place as him so that they could grow together, but she wasn’t and isn’t there yet
so my guess is that what’s next for carol’s storyline is her reaching that same zen-level daryl’s at
once they’re both there, then they get to ride off into the sunset and make passionate love under the moon casting shadows over the vast desert wasteland 
whew
anyway
tl;dr: idk, episode was fine, if not kinda boring. lots of caryllels. can i go back to writing my vietnam war au now? 
the end
(stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k21),
-diz
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rosethornewrites · 4 years ago
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Fic: 手下留情
Relationship: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Characters: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian
Additional Tags: Introspection, Grief/Mourning, Gossip, Anger, Getting Together, Conversations, Chief Cultivator Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén in Seclusion, Cultivation Sect Politics
Summary: Wei Wuxian had been back in the Cloud Recesses a week when he first heard the gossip. He was only somewhat surprised—if any rule was going to be broken, that one would be first anywhere. The cultivation world loved gossip, and even if the Lan sect was founded by a monk, his descendants weren’t all ascetics by any definition despite their airs.
Notes: The title is an idiom that often means “do not judge me too harshly.” Initially I imagined this fic would be Lan Xichen-centric from Wei Wuxian’s perspective, but it went in a different direction. I’m not unhappy with it. 
AO3 link
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Wei Wuxian had been back in the Cloud Recesses a week when he first heard the gossip. 
He was only somewhat surprised—if any rule was going to be broken, that one would be first anywhere. The cultivation world loved gossip, and even if the Lan sect was founded by a monk, his descendants weren’t all ascetics by any definition despite their airs. 
The surprise was in the content: that Zewu-Jun’s seclusion was bitterly scorned by the Lan elders and Lan Qiren in particular, that his mourning was seen as distasteful.
In particular, that it had been compared to Lan Zhan’s mourning of him, something still seen as distasteful. 
He wanted to rail at all of them for their audacity but knew it would change nothing. 
It had taken him most of the afternoon, several hours amongst the bunnies, to calm down. 
He still wasn’t calm when Lan Zhan found him, and his zhiji could see right through his smile, his gaze immediately questioning the reason for his upset. 
“Ah, Lan Zhan. I just didn’t know they disdained your right to grieve,” he finally said, letting the smile fall away when it was clearly ineffective. 
Tension immediately made Lan Zhan’s stance almost taut, like a bow. 
Wei Wuxian didn’t know what to say, but that had never stopped him before. Rambling allowed him to make his point more often than not. 
“Would they decry Lan An for returning to the temple?” he mused. “If it happened today, would they quote that rule, ‘Do not grieve in excess,’ like it has any meaning at all? He became a monk the rest of his life, after all.”
He watched as Lan Zhan carefully folded himself to sit nearby amongst the bunnies, but barely paused. 
“Honestly, who decides what ‘excess’ is? Who gets the right to arbitrarily decide someone else’s grieving is enough? Someone whose only claim to fame is living longer? It’s mind-boggling, Lan Zhan.”
Lan Zhan made no reply, except to manifest his guqin and begin playing ‘Clarity’—the real one, not the twisted one Wei Wuxian had seen in Chifeng-Zun’s memories during ‘Empathy’—as though it could help settle his turmoil. 
He kind of hated that it worked. 
Wei Wuxian let the music fill the air, taking the place of his words for a few minutes, letting it settle him because he knew it would please Lan Zhan. 
“They say you grieved over a decade for a heretic, for someone unworthy of mourning, a scourge whose death was a relief, wearing only white all that time, and that Zewu-Jun does the same.”
It was nothing he hadn’t heard before about himself. That it was used to disparage Lan Zhan he could not abide. That the same description was applied to Jin Guangyao, a villain of the cultivation world’s own creation, their biases and hideous pride twisted into a creature whose instincts at self-preservation had been learned through trauma…
The cultivation world believed the death of Meng Yao (as they had oft started to refer to him publicly, as though the corruption of the Jin hadn’t honed him) had excised the evil from themselves, when the truth was that he had just been the visible tumor—one they’d grown themselves. 
Wei Wuxian didn’t know if Lan Xichen was mourning Jin Guangyao, Nie Mingjue all over again, or both. Or maybe he could see the infection spread across the cultivation world and grieved for that. 
He’d long had time to come to terms with it, himself. It wasn’t that he saw himself in Meng Yao or Xue Yang, not that he understood their actions. But he understood how they had been created. He’d had his whole death to come to terms with it, even if he didn’t remember it, and a year besides. 
His plan initially upon his return had been to resolve the curse and then leave it all behind. 
But ultimately he couldn’t leave Lan Zhan. 
A discordant note interrupted his zhiji’s playing, rippling through the air with a shiver. It resonated in the air, followed by silence. 
“It is true,” Lan Zhan said into that silence. “What they say.”
Wei Wuxian had left many things unsaid between them, a knot of tension between them that neither of them had time to unravel before he’d set off with Little Apple, parting atop a foothill. 
Lan Zhan had agreed to be Chief Cultivator, and the Yiling Patriarch’s presence would detract from the job he had to do. If anyone stood a chance of saving the cultivation world from itself, it was him. 
And Wei Wuxian… He wasn’t quite sure the cultivation world could be saved, or that it really deserved to be. So he had set off to be among the common people, to see the light among them that cultivators were supposed to protect and nurture. 
He hadn’t had the energy to try to untangle the knot. Not then. 
“All those years?” he asked. 
He wasn’t able to keep his voice from breaking at the idea of Lan Zhan waking up every day to that magnitude of grief. If it had been Lan Zhan who had died, he isn’t sure he could have survived it. 
After all, he hadn’t survived his grief over Jiang Yanli’s death. 
“I had A-Yuan,” Lan Zhan said, his voice soft. “And if I worked to make the world better, make it brighter…”
Wei Wuxian could hear the sentiment unspoken. That maybe he would come back. And it makes his initial thoughts upon his resurrection all the more painful to remember, that he wished to leave his zhiji in his grief, even unknowing. 
“I’m sorry,” he murmured.
“Between us—”
“I know. But still.”
Lan Zhan turned to him, and Wei Wuxian felt pierced by his gaze.
“I have never blamed you.”
“I know,” he said again. 
He felt a bit like they were on a precipice, one he wasn’t sure he was ready to go over. Maybe it was inevitable, but right now…
“You had the right to grieve. Your brother has the right to grieve. Fuck them for criticizing either of you for it.”
Lan Zhan inclined his head in agreement. For a while they sat quietly, the bunnies hopping around them contentedly. 
“You know, you’re acting sect leader. The last acting sect leader added like a thousand rules because he was pissed at one person,” Wei Wuxian said casually. “One defining excess wouldn’t be out of line, would it?”
A huff of quiet laughter told him his point had been made. 
The gentle sound of the guqin rose again, this time the song Wei Wuxian still didn’t know the title to, an invitation to ask. 
He took it, and the knot unraveled with a single word. 
The Cloud Recesses would wake to two new rules engraved in the wall, one flawlessly carved to replace the one about not speaking to Wei Wuxian.
Do not be petty. 
Do not criticize the emotions of others.
It would not stop the gossip, but despite the rage of the elders in general and Lan Qiren in particular, no fault could be found with these particular additions, aside from an insistence that the rules were themselves somehow petty. 
Honestly, the blindness of old men…
They were less happy with Lan Zhan’s announcement that he was courting the Yiling Patriarch, either, which took the focus off the new rules and Zewu-Jun rather nicely. 
Despite Lan Xichen’s self-imposed seclusion, Wei Wuxian made it a point to sit outside his door daily thereafter and tell him about one of the people he had met on his journey, each one having helped restore his faith that there was good in the world. 
He tried not to be excessively pleased with himself when Zewu-Jun eventually opened the door. 
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a-pop-of-korean · 4 years ago
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hi love! is papago a good translator app? do you have any recommendations?
Hi! So I’ve actually never really used Papago before, although I heard it’s better than Google Translate (which isn’t saying much lol). Tbh anything is better than Google Translate I bet. I found this really interesting article that compares Papago and Google Translate when it comes to translating English idioms (phrases like “it’s a piece of cake” for example), and it claims that Papago is much better (although not perfect) at doing this. 
I don’t really use translator apps at all, but I will say that I’ve tried out the iPhone’s Translate app and it actually seems pretty good, even for some weird-looking idiom-type things that colloquial Korean has.
My go-to is Naver Dictionary, which I guess isn’t technically a translator app the same way that Google and Papago are. It’s more of just a traditional dictionary app. But what’s good about it is that you can piece together a sentence for yourself, which allows you to explore the various meanings that a single Korean word might have. You can also see how a word is used in various sentences as well. Naver also lets you look up some Korean idioms and phrases and such, which I find really helpful. 
As a fan of reading webtoons in Korean, I rely heavily on Naver. I’ll admit that for webtoons, there are just some colloquialisms that are really difficult to figure out the meanings of just by using a dictionary. A good translator app would also be helpful if you’re not sure of a complicated grammar structure (but again, these apps are not perfect so idk how that would really work out -- I guess it depends on what you’re translating). But I still think it’s a good option and really forces you to explore words as you read a webtoon, if that makes sense, rather than just putting it through a translator and getting your answer. 
If any of y’all have more experience using Papago or know of another good translator app, please leave a comment or send me an ask! Hope this helps! 화이팅!
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dialovers-translations · 4 years ago
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DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, MORE BLOOD Vol.12 Mukami Ruki [Track 3]
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Original title: 躾の機会
Source: Diabolik Lovers More, More Blood Vol. 12 Mukami Ruki [CD not owned by me]
Audio: Here
Seiyuu: Takahiro Sakurai
Translator’s note: Thankfully this track is a little more tame than the last one because there is only so much sadistic Ruki I can handle, haha. I do like how the MC is using the hourglass to her advantage and every time Ruki realizes what she is doing, time is once again rewinded. Unfortunately, I can no see this ending well for either of them. > <
Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue
→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!
Track 3: A Training Opportunity
*Sizzle sizzle*
You enter the kitchen while Ruki is cooking.
“...Hm? You’re already here? You almost resemble a dog or a cat rather than livestock, lured in by the scent like that.”
*Cling*
“Let me tell you just in case, it is not feeding time (1) just yet. Wait until I’m done preparing it.”
You offer to lend him a hand. 
“I do not need your help. I can handle this just fine by myself. For one, how is your health? You’ve been acting somewhat off ever since you hid yourself away in the library yesterday, haven’t you?”
You tell Ruki you feel better.
*Cling cling*
“It would appear so. I can no longer sense your blood aching. I suppose strange things happen every now and then. If you’re back in tip-top shape, I don’t mind having you help you a little. I don’t dislike it when you show dedication like that after all. However, you know what will happen if you are pushing yourself, no? Deceiving me does not come without a grave punishment. Keep in mind that an appropriate penalty would be waiting you ahead.”
You flinch.
“What’s wrong? Did those words alone make you recall the times I punished you? The scent of your blood has grown somewhat sweeter. I don’t remember ever taming you that way though. ...Or perhaps you are still experiencing the after-effects of yesterday’s happenings?”
You shake your head, insisting that everything is fine. 
“Hmph. I hope you are not simply putting on a tough facade. We have already made plans to head out together this weekend, so don’t get yourself bedridden.”
You walk towards the counter.
“You plate the salad. We’re having white fish today. Cut it in diagonal strips and pile some leafy vegetables on top. I am working on the dressing right now. I added some shichimi, but I already vividly picture Azusa being dissatisfied with the level of spice and coming in to add more, so do not let him approach.”
*Cling*
“You can put everything on this large plate. Please do not break it, okay?” 
You nod.
“I wonder. You have a bad habit of making blunders the second I take my eyes off you. A good chunk of those I can see coming from a mile away. When I tell you not to break a plate, you drop them. When asked to stay away from a room, you still enter by mistake. You’re the type of person who would walk into a trap with their eyes widen open. (2) ...That being said, you have been behaving quite well as of late. I’ve had to discipline you much less frequently.”
You say you have learnt from your mistakes. 
“Yes. Seems like it. Humankind has a bad habit of repeating the same mistakes, but with the right training, they have potential to improve. Well then, let us hurry up and wrap up this meal. Before the others start making a fuss.”
*Cling cling*
“When I think back to the time you had only just arrived at this manor, you have shown great improvement. You burden me far less now. Back then, I doubt I ever thought such a day would come. A day on which we stand side-by-side behind the kitchen counter like this. Right, I suppose I have to acknowledge you for that at least. While it is only a minor help (3), you can be mildly useful regardless.”
He turns off the stove.
“However, I just don’t understand...”
You tilt your head to the side. 
“I’m talking about your recent behavior. I do not mind being less burdened to you, but it still seems odd for someone like you - who used to make one mistake after the other - to suddenly become this clever. It is almost as if you learnt from your mistakes and are trying to avoid them in the future...”
*Cling*
“What’s wrong? Your complexion seems a little pale.”
You try to change the subject.
“You do have a point. I suppose I should finish my task at hand first, before resorting to idle talk.”
*Thud*
“Let us continue this conversation after dinner. I am done with the dressing. You have finished cutting the ingredients as well, right? Put everything on a plate.”
*Rustle rustle*
“Ah, use those tomatoes to your side as well. Yuma plucked those just this morning.”
You nod.
“Oi, don’t be lazy and take a few steps to the side. Trying to reach it by extending your arm will onlーー”
You accidentally push the plate off the counter.
*SHATTER*
"Haah...I take back everything I said earlier. It seems like humans do like to repeat the same mistakes after all. On top of that, you did not just break the plate, but you wasted the food as well. It seems like your foolishness is only on the rise. Seems like I was just imagining things when I thought you had been on the right track as of late.”
You quickly kneel down, picking up the shards.
*Rustle*
“Wait. Don’t move. You don’t need to pick them up.”
*Cling cling*
“If you were to touch the glass shards, you willl most definitely hurt yourself, no?”
You cut your finger right as he says that.
“Haah...I knew it. When your next bunder is so easily predictable, I can barely still call it foolish. ...Show it to me.”
Ruki grabs hold of your hand. 
“Seems like the cut is rather deep. It is bleeding.”
*Smooch*
You wince.
“I am sure that hurt. There’s a large cut on the palm of your hand. However, this is child’s play compared to the wound left behind by fangs piercing the flesh. Fangs, huh...? Right. I do not mind simply tending to your wounds, but you will not take anything away from that. I have had very few opportunities to discipline you because you have been so good. You made this kind of blunder because I have been slacking on your training, no? In that case, it can be contributed to my negligence as your Master.”
*Rustle*
“Let us put preparing the food on hold for now. I shall dedicate this time to your taming instead.”
You shake your head. 
“You simply do not understand unless I give you pain every now and then, no? You just proved it yourself. It is your first punishment in a while. I shall give you my fangs, to the point of your blood running dry.”
*Rustle rustle*
“What are you looking for? You must be rather confident. However, no matter how much you struggle, you simply have no way of escaーー”
You pull out the hourglass.
*Cling*
*Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock*
ーーー
...
“When I think back to the time you had only just arrived at this manor, you have shown great improvement. You burden me far less now. Back then, I doubt I ever thought such a day would come. A day on which we stand side-to-side behind the kitchen counter like this. ...What’s the matter? Your movements have stopped.”
You look around frantically.
“What has gotten into you? You will cut your hand if you panic like that. If not that, it’ll end with you dropping that large plate.”
You look away.
“Why did you avert your eyes just now? Your complexion has changed as well. You were your usual laid-back self up until just now, but right now, you have turned pale.”
Ruki turns off the stove.
“There is one question I would like to ask. ...Are you perhaps hiding something from me?”
You remain quiet.
“I do not mind exposing you myself, but if you choose to confess yourself, I shall take that into account and somewhat lessen your punishment. If there is nothing you are hiding from me, face my way. Look me straight into the eyes.”
You turn around.
“You are shifting your eyes from left to right. On top of that, you’re suppressing your breathing. So you are hiding something after all, huh...? I doubt this is the case but are you perhaps using that hourglass for somethiーー”
*Cling*
“...Ah! So you really are...!!”
*Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock*
ーーー
...
*Sizzle sizzle*
You enter the kitchen while Ruki is cooking.
“...Hm? You’re already here? You almost resemble a dog or a cat rather than livestock, lured in by the scent like that.”
*Cling*
“Let me tell you just in case, it is not feeding time (1) just yet. Wait until I’m done preparing it.”
You tell him you will wait.
“...Huh? Ah, yes. Very clever words. Just wait quietly.”
You leave the kitchen.
“Why does something seem off...?”
ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー
Translation notes
(1) Ruki uses the term 餌 or ‘esa’ here, which is specifically used to refer to the food you would give to animals. Otherwise you would say ご飯 or ‘gohan’ which means meal, or 食事 or ‘shokuji’ which means ‘(human) food’. 
(2) Literally he says ‘if there were to be a hole in front of you, you would fall into it’. 
(3) Ruki uses the idiom 猫の手 or ‘neko no te’ which means ‘a cat’s paw’ literally. It is when the help you are offered may not be ideal (e.g. as if it’s a cat helping you and not a human), it is still better than nothing. 
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meichenxi · 4 years ago
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Grimm’s Law and Verner’s Law: part 1 - Indo-European background
OR: how ‘cannabis’ and ‘hemp’ are actually cognates
tldr: sound change is cool and this great series of videos can explain it better than I can: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aal9VSPkf5s. this is going to be the first of a few posts on sound change in German and English. I originally wanted to explain the second sound shift, but quickly realised that it doesn’t make sense without any of the historical context, so please bear with me
What makes a language Germanic? Imagine for a moment that you’re an alien a la Matt Haig, newly arrived to Earth and presented with a sample of the world’s languages - or specifically, part of Eurasia’s. Some languages look very similar to each other; some very different. How would you go about building a hypothesis about which languages were related to each other, and which weren’t? How would you then test this hypothesis? And how, presented finally with data that shows your languages are related, would you explain how these changes came to happen in the first place? 
Before we go on to Germanic, though, let’s talk about Indo-European today. You guys probably all know that IE is a large language family that stretches from Icelandic to Hindi; Germanic is one of the sub-groupings of this wider IE family. Within the sub-family itself, there are divisions: German is more closely related to Dutch, Norwegian to Swedish, Icelandic to Faroese and so on. This seems all fairly obvious to us now. 
Way back when many centuries ago (not that many centuries, and certainly long after the Bible began), the idea of a language family spanning English to Russian to Farsi was a little less obvious. For much of the 17th century, people (esp a bishop dude called John Wilkins) sought to prove that English was related to Hebrew - this was an important endeavour at the time, because it would lend the language religious authority, especially in its translation of the Bible. Fast forwarding to the 18th century, a man named Sir Williams Jones who lived in Bengal realised - on account of his classical education and extensive contact with Indian languages - that there were much greater similarities between Latin, Greek and Sanskrit than anybody had previously realised. He wasn’t the first to think it, but he was one of the first to make such a definitive statement. The following quote is probably one of the most famous in historical linguistics, so I apologise for quoting it in full: ‘The Sanscrit language, whatever be its antiquity, is of a wonderful structure; more perfect than the Greek, more copious than the Latin, and more exquisitely refined than either, yet bearing to both of them a stronger affinity, both in the roots of verbs and the forms of grammar, than could possibly have been produced by accident; so strong indeed, that no philologer could examine them all three, without believing them to have spring from some common source, which, perhaps, no longer exists: there is a similar reason, though not quite so forcible, for supposing that both the Gothick and the Celtick, though blended with a very different idiom, had the same origin with the Sanscrit, and the old Persian might be added to this family.’
He was wrong in a lot of ways - he excluded some languages that do belong in this family and erroneously included others. He also wasn’t the first to come up with this idea. This quote, more than anything, marks the beginning of people’s interest in the ‘common source’: how could such a thing ever be proven, if we didn’t have access to the language itself?  Part of the building ground for Indo-European historical linguistics was the desire to prove that linguistics was an empirical science much like any other, with laws that held universally and hypotheses that could be tested and demonstrably falsified. This rested on two principles both promoted by the Junggramatiker, or Neogrammarians, a Leipzig based group of scholars. Firstly, that sound change - the process by which sounds change, arise and disappear - was a highly regular process that held universally and obeyed certain rules. Secondly, that languages that exist today are structurally and in principle no different from languages that existed thousands of years ago - that is, we have no reason to assume that processes existed in the past that don’t exist today. This is called the uniformitarian principle. 
If both of these things are true, that means that it would be possible to not only determine how exactly these languages were related, but also reconstruct an earlier version of the language once spoken by all Indo-Europeans!! (I hope you agree that this is immensely cool.) 
Reconstructing these rules is important, because it allows us to better understand structural similarities between languages. There are some similarities which are surface deep: it’s easy to compare English cold and German kalt or warm and - well - warm, and say that they look alike. Pfad and path is a little harder, but when you compared Pfeffer and pepper it’s clear, ok, there’s a <pf> / <p> alteration going on there. Leaving the Germanic family behind, though, things get a little more tricky. 
How exactly is venue cognate with come? What about English quick and Latin vīvus? And how can sister and Hindi bahan possibly be cognates??
Some of the most meaningful observations are structural; they are not surface deep, and they’re not immediately available for study. This is because, quite simply, the time depth since Indo-European was spoken is vast; there have been extensive sound changes in all of the languages concerned. 
And that’s exactly what Grimm’s Law is. It’s a sound change that happened specifically in the Germanic branch of Indo-European, so it’s common to all Germanic languages, and nothing else. It’s one of those diagnostic criteria that an alien would use to determine that Norwegian and Dutch were related: it’s present, apart from where further sound change has obscured it, in every Germanic language - and it’s not present, apart from in borrowed words, in any non-Germanic language. That’s what we mean by diagnostic. 
Let’s have a look at some examples! We’ll explain it in more detail next time, but this might whet your appetite. Don’t worry if you can’t read the phonetic description; it’s the consonants that are important at the moment (don’t, please, ask me about vowels. just please don’t).
(nb: where I use an asterisk *, this means that this form is reconstructed, not actually attested: we don't have any records of IE. > just means ‘goes to’ or ‘becomes’ in the various daughter languages. Also <these> brackets are talking about spelling, and /these/ brackets are talking about phonemes, or actual sounds. Also, the little ‘ means aspiration - we’ll talk more about what that means next time)
*p > f (no later shift in German, though /f/ is sometimes spelled v):
Engl. brother, Germ. Bruder (cf. Lat. frāter, Skt. bhrā́tā)
Engl. full, Germ. voll (cf. Lat. plēnus, Skt. pūrṇás)
*t > *þ (Engl. th) > Germ. d
Engl. three, Germ. drei (cf. Lat. trēs, Gk. /trê:s/, Skt. tráyas) Engl. thin, Germ. dünn (cf. Lat. tenuis, Skt. tanús)
*ḱ, *k > h (no later shift in German):
Engl. hundred, Germ. hundert (cf. Lat. centum, Gk. /he-katón/, Skt.
śatám)
Engl. horn, Germ. Horn (cf. Lat. cornū)
*kw > *hw (Engl. wh) > Germ. w:
Engl. what, Germ. was (cf. Lat. adjective & relative quod, Skt. kád)
*d > *t (Engl. t) > Germ. z:
Engl. two, Germ. zwei (cf. Lat. duo, Gk. /dúo/, Skt. dvā́)
BRUH. ISN’T THIS COOL!! AND THERE ARE MORE!
You can see here already by looking at the German and English that both have sometimes subsequently undergone sound changes, like English */hw/ to /wh/ and then finally to /w/, which becomes German <w> or /v/ - these sometimes obscure things. And if you really want to find out why German is different to English, well, we’ve got quite a few sound changes to get through before we get there! 
Melissa, you might be saying, I know for a fact there’s something yucky and not-worky about Grimm’s Law. What about cases where it doesn’t seem to apply? What’s that? Also, I swear some Danish dude had the idea first but just didn’t publish...
Well. You’re not wrong. But this post is long enough already. Next time, we’ll go over what exactly it is, where exactly it manifests itself, and how it didn’t seem to work 100% of the time...and I suppose I still haven’t answered how ‘hemp’ and ‘cannabis’ are cognates...you’ll just have to stay tuned! 
Bis zum nächsten Mal! 
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chalkrevelations · 4 years ago
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Episode 31 of Word of Honor, and in many ways OH MY GOD YES, but also, no, show, wtf?
As in, wt actual f is going on? Literally, what is happening?
(Spoilers, so scroll away and come back later, if you need to.)
So, first thing’s first: I feel like this one may end up a bit short, because a lot of it is likely to be just a bunch of keysmash flailing? (EDIT: No, I just came back up here to the top from the bottom, because this is NOT AT ALL any shorter than usual.) I’ll attempt a bit more than exclamation points and worry over whether my poor heart is able to take this, but we’ll see how it goes, because the first thing I’m going to do is say I knew it! and I told you so! I knew you weren’t planning to die, Zhou Zishu. I did call you a liar after Ep 30, and I was right. I mean, what’s the point of having the terrifying master of the Ghost Valley as your boyfriend husband if he’s not going to rescue you after you’ve been kidnapped for attempted ravishment by the evil prince? And get you the best wedding present ever, i.e., a bunch of new disciples? Omg, Zhou Zishu’s face when Wen Kexing finally calls himself a disciple of Four Seasons Manor! (I think he’s so overwhelmed, he doesn’t even realize when WKX calls him “shixiong” a minute before that!) Wen Kexing’s tiny pained smile that he just can’t seem to help when ZZS lays his hand on WKX’s head! That long shuddering breath ZZS lets out, and the way his shoulders just drop, like he’s finally let go of a huge weight! (The worry this brings me, because there are five and a half episodes left, my dude, and your husband is a troublemaker, and I would not be getting complacent, if I was you.) The fact that WKX has knelt to ZZS and called him zongzhu in front of the Ghost Valley contingent – there’s gotta be some political implications to that. Horseback riding! The way WKX keeps holding (up) ZZS! Lol at WKX being all, you all can leave now, we can take our honeymoon alone from here! ZZS knew he would come (I told you so)! Their smiles! Their soft little faces! (Merciless killers! How so fucking adorable?) The hairpin! MARRIED, Y’ALL. Censorship? I don’t know her. ANYWAY, that’s all just a bunch of flailing reaction to the first almost 20 minutes of emoporn. Also, Zhang Zhehan, you should not do suffering so pretty. It makes me feel like a bad person for still enjoying your face so much when your character is in so much physical and emotional distress.
Secondly, show. We need to talk. You should not be this opaque. I’m trying to piece together everything that’s happened in (vaguely) chronological order:
Sometime before dying (before breaking his heart meridians?), Han Ying tells Wen Kexing about the Four Seasons Remnants back with Prince Jin. All of Ep 30 happens, with Zhou Zishu and Xie Wang both making a mess of Awful Prince’s/Yifu’s plans. Xie Wang, the rest of the Scorpions, and the Ghost Valley team retreat back to a lair. Which lair? Who knows, at this point. Cao Weining talks to Fan Shishu. (He explicitly tells this to A-Xiang.) But does he also confront Mo Huaiyang? Because I feel like it must be significant that we get the same turn of phrase to describe Zhao Jing’s relationship with Xie Wang – asking a tiger for its skin – from Mo Huaiyang to Fan Shishu, and then attributed to Cao Weining when A-Xiang quotes it to WKX in the same ep. The show even emphasizes this for us to catch by drawing attention to A-Xiang’s use of it via her struggle to remember the idiom properly. (A. This episode’s convo between Mo Huaiyang and Fan Shishu, which is when we see Mo Huaiyang actually use the idiom, happens AFTER Cao Weining and Gu Xiang leave Gentle Wind Sword Sect. I went back and checked, and it is Mo Huaiyang who uses it, not Fan Shishu. B. In this same convo, Fan Shishu says he still needs to explain all this to the disciples somehow, so C. Was there a prior, unseen convo between just Cao Weining and Mo Huaiyang in which Mo Huaiyang practiced his excuses on poor, hapless Cao Weining first?)
Anyway, Cao Weining then goes to A-Xiang, who’s lit. and fig. in the dark at this point, in her rustic cabin outside the gated community. I notice Cinnamon Roll already has his bag packed. He is done. He lays out the current political web, and A-Xiang seems pretty sure of Liu Qianqiao’s ultimate loyalty to WKX. This is probably important in what happens next. Gu Xiang and Cao Weining decide to run away and elope but then … get captured and taken to the lair. On purpose? A-Xiang did see Liu Qianqiao with Xie Wang in the Secret Cave, standing shoulder to shoulder with Du Pusa as an apparent top-tier henchwoman, and she probably expects to be protected, but this seems like a pretty big gamble. I suppose you don’t survive the Ghost Valley without learning to take some risks. A-Xiang then leads Xie Wang and the Ghost Valley contingent to WKX (at burned-down Four Seasons Manor?) to, she says, let WKX take down Xie Wang. She notes Xie Wang’s use of some potion to control everyone – I assume the Drug Man potion, and I assume the monthly antidote is what’s keeping everyone in the Ghost Valley from going full Drug Man?
WKX and Xie Wang confer in secret. Probably about how much they both hate Awful Yifu. I mean, I assume Xie’er still hates Awful Yifu at this point, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? Probably a key point here: WKX is hiding whatever this was about from his husband. My dude, why are you still like this? I guess that explains the pained cast to that tiny little smile earlier. WKX then takes some of the Ghost Valley contingent and coordinates with the Four Seasons Remnants back in Prince Jin’s territory to rescue ZZS. Husband safely rescued, WKX now heads back to Ghost Valley, to … abdicate? He promises A-Xiang he’s going to come back safely, and my dude, I’m trying to believe you. I really am. I’m trying to have as much faith in you planning to be back all along as I had in ZZS not planning to die in Jin Palace all along, but here’s a key difference: HE LET YOU IN ON HIS PLAN. Which you were a key part of. I find your secrecy, by contrast, concerning.
Other things:
Love the little moment between Gu Xiang and Liu Qianqiao and Luo Fumeng when Beauty Ghost and Tragicomic Ghost turn to Xie Wang in righteous indignation and want to know what the fuck he thinks he’s doing to their little girl. Compare the reaction of these two moms to Happy Ghost being all, “Nope, this is a complete and total in with Wen Kexing right here in a pretty pink dress.” The show continues to draw a fairly bright line between the characterization of the women in the Department of the Unfaithful - who are terrorizing certain people, true, but also watching out for each other after ending up down on their luck – and the general run of men in Ghost Valley, who are basically rotten sociopaths straight out of Batman’s rogues gallery and will sell you out in a minute for their own gain. Yes, this has been made fairly explicit in Wen Kexing’s and A-Xiang’s commentary in past eps and later in this ep about trying to get the Department of the Unfaithful out of the line of fire while not caring if the jianghu burns down the rest of Ghost Valley, but this isn’t just favoritism or a whim, just some fond memories of Luo Fumeng being kind to them a couple of times in the past. I think there’s some commentary here on the kind of men who are so far gone they find themselves outside the bounds of “civilized” society and the kind of women who do – how much easier and quicker it is for a woman, that it could be any woman in the wrong circumstances, and how much further gone a man has to be than a woman to be considered a “devil.” We’ve seen these supportive interpersonal relationships among the women since Gu Xiang “adopted” her two girls in the first handful of episodes and told off Lovelace with the threat of Tragicomic Ghost – and the show is continuing to show it, not just tell it. It’s one of the things I’ve found frustrating about Wen Kexing a couple of times in past eps, when he’s trying to get A-Xiang’s two girls, or other women from the Department, to just leave and go do something else – I feel like even though WKX realizes their circumstances and their personalities are different from the rest of his Top Ten Devils, he’s not fully comprehending that they literally have nowhere else to go, that if they had any other options, they wouldn’t have ended up there in the first place. He called the two girls “puppies” when he talked about A-Xiang having to take care of them, but as Ghost Valley master, who’s enforced the independence of and protections for the Department of the Unfaithful, he’s walking away from his own basketful of puppies. Not to mention, this is one of the vanishingly small places in this particular version of the jianghu that we’ve seen women have any autonomy and power. I … think there may have been a few young female cultivators in Yueyang Sect, but while I’d have to go back and watch to be sure, I remember the Hero’s Conference being a whole bunch of men throwing their … weight around. Anyway, I also love that it looks like A-Xiang tries to kick Happy Ghost in the shin, because of course she does.
Visually, they had a cool thing going on there with the Tian Chuang behind WKX falling in concert with WKX lowering his fan, but they didn’t quite coordinate it enough, and then they cut away too soon. Bah. It was set up to be a very cool visual, if only they had committed to it. Meanwhile Duan Pengju, this asshole, omg. He’s trying to pull off the Collar of Evil and is not succeeding. Srsly, his Collar of Evil is droopy. It doesn’t stop him from monologuing like he’s the actual villain and not some sad-sack lackey. You showed the correct amount of amused disdain during your interaction, but I can’t believe you left him alive at the end of it, Wen Kexing.
I wasn’t really feeling Jing Beiyuan and Wu Xi up until this ep when Jing Beiyuan was teasing A-Xiang about her lack of shame over running away with her lover. OK, fine, you can stay, Qi Ye. Also, wow. Speaking of lack of shame, I can’t believe you just accused your husband of bride kidnapping right in front of everyone’s salads, because that is totally what just happened there.
So the band is (almost all) back together, minus Chengling, who has definitely found out in the worst possible way that one of his dads is the terrifying master of the Ghost Valley that massacred his family and sect. So, this should go well.
Lol at Xie’er lounging in Wen Kexing’s Ghost Valley master seat like some kind of consort. He’s already got a husband, Xie’er. One that would not be happy with a concubine running around, I think. I do wonder what the full scope of their plan/understanding is, bubbling away under this stare-down.
A note – WKX’s hair is styled differently in this ep in the Ghost Valley master scenes than it has been before. Previously, those side bangs were further forward and a little bit chunkier, which, I think, narrowed his face and also helped emphasize the wild-eyed look. They’re wispier and back further, now, which I think softens his face, even when he’s trying to look imposing. Makes him look more, dare I say, human.
And now, I’m going to go have a few Han Ying/Bi Xingming thoughts, actually. God, those months after ZZS left, can you imagine what that was like for them? Han Ying having watched those nails placed in Bi Xingming’s shifu in the first ep, and then having to turn around and go to Bi Xingming and tell him that ZZS was gone, with the seven nails in him? Both of them trying to hold the Four Seasons Remnants together – and then Ying-ge comes back one day and says he’s found ZZS? Mutual aid and comfort, my dudes. Also some projection. I’m just sayin’. Meet me, I guess - this kind of sideline action and extremely rare pair thing is how I tend to roll.
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1-800-roflmao · 4 years ago
Text
Wash Day Delight Pt. 4
Rating:  General Audiences
WARNINGS:  None
Fandom:  Undertale (Video Game)
Relationships:  Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Papyrus (Undertale) & Reader,  Papyrus (Underfell) & Reader, Papyrus (FSG) & Reader, Papyrus (Swapfell) & Reader
Characters:  Papyrus (Undertale), Reader, Edge (UF Pap), and Mentions of Other AU Skeletons
Additional Tags:  Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), reader is poc, Reader has curly hair,  Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Friendship, Wholesome, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, I'm Bad At Summaries, Not Beta Read, Romance if you squint, Subtext, Let Papyrus be Sassy, Edge Is The Unwilling Dad Friend, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Humor, Slice of Life, Teasing Edge Is Fun, Papy is Best Boi
*Split this chapter into two. Will be posting both today. Morning thoughts and Papy has a great idea! Tried avoiding using y/n as much as I could, but had to this chapter.
PREVIOUS || FIRST || NEXT
She would say morning came too quickly, but in all honesty, this was technically her second time waking up that morning.  Somehow, in spite of the tireless workout she had been put through the night before, she had woken up at the usual time right before her alarm--that was NOT set cause she turned that off with plans to sleep in today--would have gone off.  She’d spared a single, groggy glance at her phone’s clock.  The notifications lining the screen not even registering in her mind.  No, she’d get her well earned sleep in had been and without further adieu, she had put the phone back down, rolled over, and snuggled back in for another few hours of sleep.  
    That had been earlier.  Now, she blinked awake as light from the mid-morning sun sneaked through the slim openings of the curtains just behind her bed.  Blearily, her eyes followed the rays path across her form, her bed, and eventually over the floor where it seemed to highlight her shed clothes along with the open bathroom.  Right… she had forgotten to brush her teeth in her haste to sleep.  Rolling her tongue and opening and closing her mouth, she winced as she felt her cheek move against the now very cold wet spot on her pillow.  Well, at least that second round of sleep was apparently heavy and content.  
“Eugth…” Not that it made waking up in your drool anymore pleasant.  Trying to sit up resulted in even more groans as her muscles protested.  Yup, there were those core muscles that had been oddly silent yesterday acting up today.  Her arm she had tried to push up on had not been too much trouble, but her shoulder had twinged and she had gone back down.  She had managed to at least roll on her back and away from the drool pool though.  Positives.  Focus on the positives.  For a few moments, she just let herself completely relax into the mattress and pillows, just breathing--in and out, slow and even, again and again until all her tension dispersed. 
“They really did me in,” she mumbled as she began to roll her wrists, “But I’ve got too much to get done to be lyin’ around here all day feelin’ miserable.”  Too much considering her now very awake mind realized she had forgotten to wrap her hair, but thankfully she had splurged on satin sheets and pillowcases, so it shouldn’t be too bad.  Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, she didn’t get her wrap sweaty… “Still gonna wash it.”  By now, she had started stretching and working her shoulders with careful, slow rolls and reaches.  The more she moves, the more she’ll loosen up and actually be able to function.  She just couldn’t overdue it.
As she moved onto her legs, she couldn’t stifle a little moan of discomfort as she lifted one limb at time to carefully draw her knee in towards her stomach before extending again.  It took time, but eventually she was able to push herself up into a sitting position.  Muscles in her back, abdomen, and surprising what felt like her butt that she hadn’t been aware of protested, but a few more deep breathes calmed them.  Seeing her phone laying on the sheets near her, she guessed earlier that morning she hadn’t bothered to put the phone back where it went exactly, but current her was very thankful for her sleepy self’s carelessness.
Picking up the device, she decided to take a moment to rest before continuing her war against her body.  Besides, she could remember that she had messages to reply to.  Tapping the screen, she input her pattern and tapped on the messages app.  The first one she opened was Coffee’s.  “Oooh,” she cooed as she looked over the drawing once again with fresh eyes.  Last night, she remembered thinking the hairstyle was cute, but now she could see the little details he included, like his choice of including a custom undercut design.  Could her barber achieve that?  She’d have to ask, but for now.
(to JavaBoi)
Flooffie:  Good morning! 
Flooffie:  Sorry about not replying last night
Flooffie:  This hairstyle is so cute
Flooffie:  And the undercut design is SICK!
Flooffie:  In a good way 
Flooffie:  I’d love to wear it, but I’ll have to check in with my barber about the undercut.
She waited a moment to see if he’d answer, but no little dots popped up so she guessed he was possibly still sleeping or he was busy.  Most likely the former.  Leaving that conversation, she sent a quick message to her barber asking how complicated a design he would be willing to do on an undercut.  She hadn’t expected an answer, but no sooner had she went to click the back button, his answer popped up.  His answer surmised that he had done more complicated pieces, but it all depends on the design.  “Makes sense…” she mumbled before forwarding the doodle to him.   It took him a moment longer to reply this time, but his answer had her beaming: “Sure, just get a better reference.  Bigger too.” 
(to JavaBoi)
Flooffie:  I feel like I’m spamming you.  Sorry!
Flooffie: But I got with my barber and he said he could do it
Flooffie:  Just he needs a better ref
Flooffie:  Could you draw it bigger?  
Flooffie:  I’ll treat you!
        She included some pleading and heart emojis for good measure, even though she was sure he wouldn’t mind one bit.  Moving on, she opened up a certain someone’s convo, eager to see how he reacted to her last text.  A little laugh bubbled past her smile as she saw his reply, full of exclamation marks and a little pause between two of the replies.
(11:33 PM) Papaya:  ….
(11:40 PM) Papaya:  !!!!!!!
Papaya:  TOUCHE! ALTHOUGH I HAD TO GOOGLE WHAT YOU HAD MEANT
Papaya:  MY SKILLS AT PICKING UP THESE IDIOMS IS IMPROVING
Papaya:  WHO CAME UP WITH THESE THINGS?  WHY? WHY NOT JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN?!
(11:45 PM) Papaya:  YOUR LACK OF RESPONSE MUST MEAN YOU HAVE FINALLY GONE TO  BED
Papaya:  GOOD
(12:01 AM) Papaya:  SWEET DREAMS, (Y/N)
    Her amusement at how Papyrus could continue a conversation with no one there was overshadowed by the warmth the last text brought.  It was such a simple little thing.  It’s not like he had even called her a pet name, but it still had her flushing and turning her face away from the phone like that would somehow ease the heat.  Maybe it was because she could see the timestamp and knew he had taken the time to pick up the phone again after setting it down for a while just to send that message.  Was it narcissistic to think she was his last thought before he fell asleep?  “It’s too early to be this flustered!” she whined, the fingers of her free hand playing with ends of one of her braids, “All over a text that might not have any deeper meaning…”     
    After her little grumble, she did her best to ignore the sting the words brought.  One more deep breath, she turned back to her phone and the texts, allowing a small smile.  There was no sense in making herself miserable.  It was still a dear friend thinking of her after all.  
    (to Papaya)
Flooffie:  Morning Papi!  Hope you had sweet dreams as well
        Before she could start her next message, she saw those little dots pop up and chuckled.  Of Course he was up already.  
Papaya:   GOOD MORNING!
Papaya:   I DO NOT REMEMBER MY DREAMS, BUT I’M SURE THEY WERE GREAT!
Flooffie:  Just like you, eh?
Papaya:   OFCOURSE!
Papaya:   UM… HOW ARE YOU FEELING THIS MORNING?
Papaya:   NOT TOO SORE I HOPE
    She snorted at that before replying.
Floofie:   Like I got hit by a 18 wheeler in the fast lane and somehow survived to regret it.
Papaya:   ….
Papaya:   APOLOGIES
Papaya:   BUT ARE YOU COMPARING YOUR PAIN TO GETTING HIT BY A SEMI?!
        She could just feel his panic and knew he would start fretting through the text.  She felt just a little guilty laughing at his reaction.  Thankfully, it wasn’t too difficult to calm him down and assure him she was simply exaggerating.  No, he didn’t need to take her to the hospital.  No, he had not broken her.  At Least as far as she knew he hadn’t.  
Throughout, she had slowly worked her way to the edge of the bed and now sat with her legs hanging off.  In between texts with Papyrus, he opened a few of the others.  One was Edge checking in with a reminder that she shouldn’t over exert herself.  She went to send a little thumbs up, but paused and instead juggled between two responses.  Which would mess with him more?  Biting her bottom lip, she finally settled on one and quickly sent it:  “Yes, Daddy~”.  Knowing Edge, he was up, but wouldn’t look at the message until he had a moment, so she closed the convo.  She could see the damage later.
More puns and jokes which she graced with appropriate responses: groans at the especially bad ones and chuckles at the ones that were actually clever.  She of course made her approval known with quick little texts and gifs; the bad ones received the same treatment.  None of it was mean and to tell the truth, it only fanned the flames for these gremlins as she had learned.  They seemed determined to dig up the worst puns they could manage.  By the time, she finished replying, she had made it to the bathroom and was finally taking care of her dental hygiene.  
Her phone now dinged instead of buzzing with each new text.  Most of which were from Papyrus she assumed.  Toothbrush in her mouth, she picked up her phone and opened the texting app again as she resumed brushing with her other hand.  She had been correct.  A line of texts from her friend popped up on the screen and they ranged from bringing up his question about idioms from last night to checking in that she was actually taking the time to rest.  She thanked the stars that her phone wasn’t on the larger side as it allowed her to hold and type with one hand.  
Flooffie:  Decided to make today wash day since people are INSISTING I rest.  Was due for one anyway.
Papaya:   WASH DAY?  YOU HAVE A DAY DEDICATED TO WASHING?
Papaya:   I THOUGHT HUMANS PRUNE IF THEY ARE IN WATER TOO LONG?
She let him get out all his ponderings and ramblings, which took a good minute, before she finally jumped in.  Although she’d love to convince him it was a secret, sacred holiday and ritual that humans have to partake in a few days a year for… reasons, she fought down her inner prankster and cursed Cash for his influence on her.  
Flooffie:  It’s nothing elaborate… kinda?
Flooffie:  It’s just that people like me tend to have a lot of hair and it takes time to properly care for it.
Flooffie:  So, we make a day of it.  Chill and relax, pamper ourselves, etc
She was a bit surprised he hadn’t replied immediately and had actually finished with her dental routine by the time he finally texted back.  
Papaya:  SO IT IS A DAY DEDICATED TO YOUR HAIR?!
Oh, she hadn’t seen this much enthusiasm from him for her hair in a good bit.  As his texts came through, she felt touched he wanted to learn more and she was happy to inform him, best she could over text anyway.  There was another long pause in between his text.  Just long enough for her to reach for her shower handle as she decided to finally take a shower and get started on her day.  Her phone dinged and Papyrus changed all her plans.
Papaya:  WHY DON’T YOU HAVE YOUR WASH DAY AT OUR HOUSE?!!
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imsorryimlate · 4 years ago
Text
Specific references in Pomegranate Seeds, sorted by chapter
Title of work: Pomegranate Seeds
A reference to the myth of Persephone and Hades, where Hades is the god of the underworld who kidnaps Persephone – the daughter of Demeter, goddess of agriculture and harvest – and makes her queen of the underworld. He gives her a pomegranate to eat, and for every seed she swallows she has to spend a month with Hades in the underworld. During the months she is with Hades, she is gone from her mother, and that’s why autumn and winter exist (since Demeter is grieving the loss of her daughter). Spring and summer are the months when she is back with Demeter, and Demeter is once again happy. The myth has lots of interpretations, but my favourite is the one where it is said to be based on the trauma of both daughter and mother as they are separated when the daughter gets married and enters a new household.
Even though Giorno’s mother didn’t treat him well, her death was most likely traumatic to him. He enters the new household of Dio (Hades) and every time they touch each other in a way that isn’t befitting father and son, one could say that Giorno swallows another pomegranate seed, and it binds him to the underworld. In this case, the underworld would both represent the criminal world, but also the trap of their incestuous relationship that he then cannot leave, should he want to.
No specific references in chapters 1 & 2.
Chapter 3:
Demetra – Giorno’s mother doesn’t have a name in canon, so I made one up. Demetra is the Italian version of Demeter, which is the name of the Greek goddess of agriculture and harvest. The goddess is the mother of Persephone, and the title of this fic – Pomegranate Seeds – is a reference to the myth of Hades and Persephone.
The biblical paintings in the church – John the Baptist (martyr) was beheaded, and Judas (traitor) hung himself. The imagery around Eve, the snake and the red apple, well… depending on how you interpret the story in the Bible, this could mean that the scene doesn’t represent a fall from grace, but rather that it was God’s intention to have humanity step into the broader world.
Dio’s books – I mostly just had a look at my own bookshelf, but I purposely included Nabokov, Machiavelli, and Plato. Nabokov, of course, references his infamous novel Lolita. Machiavelli was an Italian politician and philosopher during the Renaissance, and he’s most famous for his book The Prince, where he gave rulers quite… devious advice, not shying away from unethical and corrupt means. Therefore Machiavelli and the derived term Machiavellian often denotes (political) deceit. And Plato, well, in his text The Symposium he speaks of the ancient practice of pederasty in a very positive manner, and claiming that it is the purest form of love.
Aniara – I picked the book because it’s my sister’s favourite. It is a book-length epic science fiction poem that narrates the tragedy of a large passenger spacecraft carrying a cargo of colonists escaping destruction on Earth veering off course, leaving the Solar System and entering into an existential struggle. This is the “space-travel” Giorno later reflects on while in the bath.
No specific references in chapter 4.
Chapter 5:
The next reference to Machiavelli – Giorno thinks about Machiavelli and the question if it is better to be feared or loved, which is something Machiavelli writes about in his book The Prince, where he states that it is better for a ruler to be feared than loved, if they cannot be both.
No specific references in chapter 6.
Chapter 7:
Reckless – Giorno notes that Dio wants him “recklessly, passionately”. This is one of the two times the word “reckless” is used in this story; the only other time being in the first chapter when Giorno’s mother dies after her car collides with a reckless truck. Dio’s desire for Giorno is tied together with that accident, as if it’s equally dangerous.
Jewel – “Yes, Giorno would like something like that; to show Dio that he was a prized jewel, cut to fit perfectly in the curve of his palm.” This line directly references the Song of Songs 7:1 “Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand.”
Eden – “How truly unfortunate, that the most tempting fruit should be found in the middle of Eden.” The garden of Eden, in the Bible, is where life is first created by God. It can therefore also symbolise family, where life also is created. So what Dio essentially says here is “what a shame the most fuckable person is found in my family”.
Draconic tendencies – Giorno having “draconic tendencies” is a reference to his earlier thoughts about Abbacchio hoarding Bucciarati like a jealous dragon.
Chapter 8:
Buttercups – Giorno picks a bouquet of buttercups for Dio, and buttercups have traditionally been associated with childhood. It is meant to express that Giorno, no matter how mature he himself is convinced that he is, still has a childish edge to his affection. As a fun aside, the Latin name for buttercups is Ranunculus, which means “little frog”.
Leda and the Swan – the painting Dio has in his study. It is, of course, an erotic yet controversial motif in itself, but there are some references to the Greek myth it is based on. In it, Zeus disguises himself as a swan and copulates with Leda. It is not entirely clear if it is by rape or seduction. Zeus, of course, is known for his sexual escapades, his violent temper and jealousy, but here he disguises himself as a swan, which is an animal that in European culture often has symbolised love and fidelity. This story of a shady person disguising himself as someone loving, to enter a relationship where consent is dubious at best, well… I think the implications are clear. As a fun aside, the name Zeus and the name Dio are directly connected.
Uneasy lies the head – the whole quote is “uneasy lies the head that wears a crown”, a saying from Shakespeare’s play Henry IV, Part 2, meaning that someone with great responsibilities won’t be able to rest properly.
The prodigal son – it’s a reference to a parable in the Bible, from Luke 15:11-32. The story goes that a son requests his inheritance early, spends it all irresponsibly, and then returns home to beg his father to let him work for him. His father, however, welcomes him home with open arms and throws a feast, which indicates that he has hopefully waiting for the son to return.
Nakedness – the scene in Giorno’s room, where he lowers his duvet to display his “nakedness”, the word choice here is important. Except for Genesis 42, all biblical occurrences of the common idiom ”to see the nakedness of” or “to uncover the nakedness of” are explicitly sexual, usually referring to incest. The Classical Hebrew word 'erwā is not “nudity” but “nakedness”, in the sense of something that is unseemly or improper to look at or expose; often used to denote forbidden sexual relations.
Chapter 9:
Wine-dark – Dio’s eyes are described as wine-dark, which is a reference to the use of “wine-dark sea” in Homer. It’s an epithet used in the Iliad and the Odyssey, of uncertain meaning. What exactly does it mean that the sea is “wine-dark”? Is it a reference to the stormy sea being unpredictable, like someone who’s drunk on wine? Or does it tell us something about how ancient Greeks perceived colours, where maybe depth and opacity levels were more important than hues?
Ambrosia – Giorno compares the taste of Dio’s seed to ambrosia, which is the food and drink of the gods in Greek mythology.
Lollipop – Giorno is sucking on a lollipop while he’s out shopping. This is a shameless reference to the most culturally recognised image of Nabokov’s Lolita, where Sue Lyon, the actress who portrayed the character Lolita in Stanley Kubrick’s film adaption of the novel, is sucking on a red lollipop while wearing heart-shaped sunglasses. It’s worth noting, however, that the character Lolita doesn’t eat a lollipop in the novel or Kubrick’s film, and the images were only used for promotion. Either way, the lollipop has nonetheless become a symbol for playful, youthful temptation.
No specific references in chapter 10.
Chapter 11:
Dio’s alarming beauty – Giorno reflects on how beautiful Dio is, that he is alarmingly beautiful. This is a reference to a quote from The Secret History by Donna Tartt: “Beauty is rarely soft or consolatory. Quite the contrary. Genuine beauty is always quite alarming.”
Chapter 12:
Kisses – there’s a lot of descriptions of kissing in the beginning of this chapter, and it is all a reference to the biblical book Song of Songs. “Honey-sweet kisses that melted his tongue” is a reference to Song of Songs 4:11 “honey and milk are under your tongue”. On a more complicated note… “those kisses, Giorno drank them from his mouth like they were life-giving water” is a reference to Song of Songs 1:2 that should be “I want to drink kisses from his mouth”, however, most translations will read “let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth”. It’s really complicated as to why I and others would translate it differently, but in general it has to do with the manuscript and the Masoretic editors’ vocalisation, which in turn has a lot to do with evaluating Classical Hebrew grammar and poetic conventions… I am going to spare you that lecture, but I still wanted to let you know that you won’t find that wording in most English translations of the Bible.
The garden, Eden, and juvenile sex – this all ties together. The garden of Eden is, in the Bible, where life is created and before “the fall of man”, it is a place of peace and innocence. Now, it might seem strange to refer to innocence in a story like this, but there still is a certain kind of innocence to their relationship, especially on Giorno’s end. They are described as “easy and unafraid, in full view of God”, which again is a reference to the biblical creation story; after “the fall of man”, when Adam and Eve have sinned, they are suddenly afraid of God and tries to hide from him, and for the first time shield their nudity, since they have now lost that innocence. So, Dio and Giorno being unafraid in full view of God is another reference to them being fairly innocent. At least that’s how Giorno conceptualises it.
Satyriasis – a word for excessive sexual desire, and an outdated term for hypersexuality. The word was developed in relation to the satyrs of Greek mythology, who were lustful woodland gods.
Nipple play – Giorno sucking on Dio’s tits, well… quite obvious reference, but if you missed it; it’s a reference to breastfeeding and nourishment.
Sunlight – in Stardust Crusaders, Dio tells Polnareff that he too has pain in his life because he can never see the sunlight, since he is a vampire. In this story, Dio isn’t a vampire, but I still wanted to include this pain. Dio’s love for the sunshine, and the depravation of it in his childhood, is my attempt to reconceptualise it.
Chapter 13:
Ice cream – elder flower sorbet has a tendency to taste like laundry detergent if you’re not careful, so Mista definitely picked the wrong flavour that time.
Know thy enemy – “know thy enemy” is a famous quote from The Art of War by Sun Tzu.
Chapter 14:
Paradise burning – more Eden references, they never truly stop.
Loins – in Classical Hebrew, one specifically emphasises that a child has sprung from someone’s loins to indicate that it is a biological child rather than an adopted one.
Deadly sins – Giorno notes that one of the seven deadly sins, sloth (that is, excessive laziness and indifference), doesn’t come as naturally to him as others would (such as lust or pride).
Know thy self – another reference to the famous quote of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War.
Companion – Giorno thinks about how the universe has blessed Dio with a companion that can keep up with him, which is a subtle reference to the creation myth in the Bible. There, God creates the first human, Adam. Adam attempts to find a companion amongst the other creatures, but cannot find an equal until God creates another human – incidentally, God creates another human from Adam (by his rib), which of course parallels with Giorno being created from Dio, since he is his biological child.
Clay – the dream Giorno has of Dio forming him out of clay and breathing life into him is another direct reference to the creation myth in the Bible, where God forms the first human out of clay/soil/dust from the ground and breathes life into his nostrils. Similar creation myths are found in several ancient Near Eastern religions. If you want a little more “fun” fact, the first human is named Adam, a name he gets from the Classical Hebrew word for “man” (as in human – not male), which is adam, and the word for “ground” is adamah, which ties to all together quite nicely.
Nakedness – Dio uncovers Giorno’s nakedness, and just like in chapter 8 it’s a biblical reference. Except for Genesis 42, all biblical occurrences of the common idiom ”to see the nakedness of” or “to uncover the nakedness of” are explicitly sexual, usually referring to incest. The Classical Hebrew word 'erwā is not “nudity” but “nakedness”, in the sense of something that is unseemly or improper to look at or expose; often used to denote forbidden sexual relations.
Chapter 15.
Cuddling – after having breakfast, they cuddle, and their position is described as Giorno resting his head on Dio’s left arm, and Dio draping his other arm over Giorno’s waist. This position is a reference to the biblical book the Song of Songs 2:6 “His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.”
Angel lust – Dio gets hard after Giorno chokes him, which he says is a perfectly natural reaction to being choked. Which it is! “Angel lust” or “death erection” refers to the phenomenon of men executed by hanging having an erection, because of the increased downward blood flow. After observing this, doctors in the 17th century started prescribing choking sex to men with erectile dysfunction, and that’s partly where erotic asphyxiation comes from.
England – the phrase “lie back and think of England”, alternatively “close your eyes and think of England” is an old-timey reference to unwanted sex that one doesn’t enjoy – specifically used for sex within a marriage, which at least back in the day was more of an economic arrangement than a love affair. Disgustingly, it means “just lie back and endure it”.
Bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh – this is another reference to the creation story in the Bible. The specific verse is Genesis 2:23, when God has created another human to be a worthy companion of the first one. Adam, the first human, has searched for a companion among the animals but been unsuccessful to find an equal. But when he meets the newly created Eve, the second human, he exclaims “At last! This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (since she was created from his rib). That “at last!” is very sweet – and fits in this story too! Dio has finally found a worthy companion to share his highest highs and deepest lows with.
Chapter 16.
Roses – Giorno buys a bouquet of roses for Dio. This is intended as a contrast to the buttercups he picked for Dio in chapter 8, being that roses are a much more “mature” flower than buttercups, therefore showing that Giorno has matured. Also, the fact that he buys the bouquet of roses while he picked the buttercups indicate a certain loss of simplicity and naturalness in their relationship.
Fin.
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Nov 16 Stream Timestamps
Timestamps from Technoblade’s “THE REVOLUTION (dream SMP)”
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Link to my youtube comment with all of the timestamps x
Timestamps with hyperlinks below
02:13  “This is a surprise tool which will help us later” / thumbnail isn’t foreshadowing / video thumbnails have to be big / stream thumbnails can be detailed 05:17  “The traitor is actually Jschlatt” / firework crafting 09:50  “The ratio is impeccable” 13:23  “Dream’s in the game! My audience retention rate” / vc with Tubbo & Quackity / traitor Jschlatt theory / “Are you high?” “A little” 14:47  “You’re a bit of a wildcard” “I am the most consistent character on the entire server” / “What’s this about getting into power” / “We’ll burn this bridge when we get to it” 15:54  “You really are such an English major” / “You’re an idiom” / malaphor / “I’m actually speaking twice as much English as you guys” 18:07  “I think Thunder is overcompensating in the chat” / “Where can you see me” “In my heart” (Karl & Quackity) / Karl not leaving vc 20:33  vc with Niki / “Did Tubbo just leave me? I spaced out for 2 seconds” / “You can’t call everyone the traitor” “I can & will” 22:45  “You know it’s an event when Skeppy’s here” / “You know it’s a big deal when Georgenotfound wakes up” / “Everyone leaves me” 23:31  explaining the traitor thing to Niki / “Maybe I’m a sleeper agent” / had to kill Tubbo 25:03  nothing happened with that creeper / Fundy interrogating Niki / “Why did I train her for MCC” 25:54  “Even YOU’RE leaving me” / sad music / “I’m sitting here with 203k viewers & it’s not enough for any of these streamers to bear talking to me for more than 60 seconds” / Skeppy joins vc to immediately leave 28:50  Karl has a gift for Techno / Karl is just here for the animatic 32:21  “At least the chat won’t leave me” / pays for his music 35:01  “I’m going to destroy the government so bad” / “I hate all of the farming updates on skyblock” 37:45  joining a vc / “I just got stood up in like 4...conversations in rapid succession” / “My new years resolution was to make friends & it’s november & I’ve made zero headway” / Eret switches sides 41:53  Ender chest setup / worried about hotbar management / potions > shields   43:13  vc with allies / “Karl you are literally the biggest third wheel I have ever seen” 45:03  angering the dogs / trident combo 47:13  “D!ck with one ball” (Tubbo) 50:25  “Let’s hope Wil overslept like [George]” 53:09  recruiting Eret / “If you fight on our side we’ll make you the King of Burger King” / “He’ll be an executive citizen” / “I’m surrounded by idiots” 54:58  putting Schlatt on the allies list / “Schlatt is an alcoholic high on protein power” (Fundy) 56:47  can’t trust Eret / “I hate it when you’re right” (Tubbo) / Wilbur joins vc 59:50  having a moment with Hubert / “Not even the mobs like me” / sad music / “I just gained 8k subscribers the sadness is gone” / cow pit exp farm 1:02:57  vc with Niki / “I’m going to join the other vc AHHHHH” 1:05:02  “Once everyone meets up...I have something prepared” / “Technoblade when are you not ready?” “When I joined the server” 1:09:38  “Who do you take me for? Of course I’ve read the Art of War. It’s written by Mozart” / battle planning 1:12:18  “This is the betrayal...happening very slowly” 1:13:35  Pan1 / “This revolution is so doomed” 1:15:29  Dream attack / Quackity dies 1:18:07  “Agree Retweet” / “Violence is the only universal language” / “i have a supply” / “Why do you talk in upwards inflections constantly?” 1:19:57  Techno not getting to talk / “He took it all by force didn’t he” / “Fear into Ear” 1:23:50  Techno telling everyone he has a stash twice / distributing blue / mushroom the fox 1:26:49  Tommy talking over Techno again / “Stop going off on your tangents” “We have food at home” 1:29:30  vault reveal / Tubbo stealing emeralds / secret chest 1:32:40  “Shut up bro you are green as shit” (Tommy) / “Everyone give me back my stuff you don’t deserve it” 1:34:41  no netherite swords / “Who’s the traitor” “Promise we won’t be mad” 1:36:31  battle / Technoblade trident maneuvering / giving rocket launchers to Tubbo & Tommy 1:40:27  killing Karl / Dream bringing out the end crystals / fighting invis Dream / purpled switches sides 1:43:57  Dream wants to talk / 309k / group photos 1:46:08  vc with Dream / “But only if my enemy insists” / in the van with Schlatt / “What are you doing in my drug van? It better not be drugs” / Tommy preparing to shoot Schlatt 1:54:42  “We won” / “We killed an old man with heart problems! It only took 20 of us!” / President Innit / subscribe to Technoblade sign 1:55:57  Dream & Techno talk in chat / Tommy speech / “It was meant to be” / “I don’t think anyone is bowing to Tommyinnit” / “Karl don’t be weird” / Skeppy has a disc 1:59:06  Techno being apprehensive on mute / Tommy makes Wilbur President / “I’ll be the president” “I’m gonna veto that” / “Techno...you’ve taught me that government is not the way to go” / Wilbur makes Tubbo president 2:03:20  “I’m not sure I like where this is going x2” / “I’m not sure this is a good ending” / “Team chaos” “Perhaps” 2:06:20  Techno shoots Tubbo / Philza joins / “You think Schlatt was the cause of your problems? No. It was government” / speech gets interrupted / “The government ends here, I’ll kill it myself!” 2:09:23  Phil kills Wilbur / techno yelling for silence / “Tommy you just did a coup...& instilled yourself as president” 2:12:11  “If you want to be a hero THAN DIE LIKE ONE” / wither spawning / killing his former allies 2:15:09  post fight talks / “There will be no new government today. It will be over my dead body” / “Techno was not the traitor” 2:18:50  “I need to increase the crater that is L’Manberg so that no country can rise in its place” / “Mom says it’s my turn on the flame bow” 2:23:51  “What I’m doing right now is small scale. This is the work of an individual. This is nothing compared to the cruelty governments all around the world [inflict]...systematically” / “Llamas are the primary victims of war” / “I just wanna be apart of the explosion” (George) 2:27:06  Techno joins vc / connor joins the server / “I hope you’re proud of yourself Techno” “I kinda am” / Jack Manifold (Thunder) being broke / netherite armor 2:32:30  “Beach episode” / Techno accidentally joins the L’Manberg vc 2:35:16  the base is compromised / “There’s no way Technoblade would put a clock there if it didn’t mean anything” / got robbed 2:37:37  “If you’re going to ask me how I got all these emerald & arrows that’s a story for another day” / explaining the bedrock / “I can give everyone stuff & it’ll be such a flex” 2:40:24  Greek mythology 2:41:45  The Golden Apple / “They didn’t use discord back then they used skype, so can’t invite Eris” / “Zeus the god of feminism” 2:46:02  Eret recruiting Techno to kill George / joining vc / “Let’s stop him before he gets land” / Awesamdude proposing a fight 2:49:08  “No one can kill me I’m invincible” (logs out) / Dream literally names the turtle potions Sam thinks he hasn’t heard of / “I’m at soup” / “It’s not smack talk he just has that many items” 2:53:06  “Stab him Dream, I’ll shout encouraging words” / Techno fighting Bad & Ant 2:56:23  Dream wins / “I think there was this Dream guy attacking you with some sort of weapon” 3:00:11  turtle potions / Dream hyping up Techno about fighting BBH / Badlands negotiating with George 3:04:34  vc with Philza 3:07:00  spider farm afk’ing / lagging Quackity’s computer 3:09:06  smp earth / Phil only logged on to back Techno up 3:10:32  killing George / “I’m gonna drop his armor off don’t jump me” / not fighting Dream 3:13:00  vc with Karl & Phil / Karl definitely not starting a government / “Chat that was the boring part, don’t leave” / 320k / “Why do we keep scheduling these on Monday?” 3:16:18  “I don’t even want to think about how famous Tommy will be in the future” / “I get a tad bitter” / covid is good for youtubers but obviously bad / “I’m so good at socially distancing” 3:19:51  “Aren’t you tired of being nice Philza? Don’t you just wanna go crazy” / “You should be wary of the old in a profession where people die young” / vc with Eret 3:21:47  “What if you built a slightly larger throne next to it?” /  “How are they paranoid of a mole but the guy with a track record of being a traitor gets no questions asked” 3:25:47  “I’m gonna place a block at the bottom & kill you instantly” / reverse mlg /  emerald rich even with Tubbo’s theft 3:27:57  “I’ll allow it” / upstairs chests robbed / Eret disconnects with the book 3:32:04  armor sabotage bc he thought it’d be 1v5 / crystals are mutually assured destruction / Wilbur afraid of tnt getting blown up early 3:34:11  the diary was actually Eret’s / “He’s gonna tell everyone who I have a crush on. Nooo” / reading the 100 page book / “Can I not win here?” “No” 3:40:14  “This stream has released more serotonin in my brain than the last 6 months combined” / revolution was overcrowded / could improve the crater 2:43:09  “Awkward ten minute period where I’m just sitting there watching them set up a new government but I can’t kill them yet” / Carl is missing 3:44:34  “The one time Technoblade is gonna roleplay & they talk over him” / “CARL” / “As long as Sapnap isn’t the one that took him there’ll still be hope” 3:46:10  “Once you start using end crystals it’s the only pvp that matters & end crystal pvp is so lame” / Webtoons 3:49:10  “What’s going to happen to you & WIlbur now?” “I don’t know, I think I’m chill with Wilbur” / “The only thing that changed is my voice. Zero personal growth” / lines from the first speech that got interrupted / “King George is trending booo” 3:52:00  1 million twitter followers / “O god it’s been four hours...I am not built for this” / did a 13 hour stream once / sub growth goals 3:56:30  “What the heck is Phil watching”
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Crescent Chapter 3 Revision Notes
Revised Chapter 3 is out baby, view it on tumblr dont talk to me about the links not working on that post its broken for some reason or ao3! Since this chapter feels like the one most heavily updated, here’s some notes on what was reworked
Removed Roman’s pov from the very beginning and replaced it with Patton’s pov. I made this decision because it felt like it made for a stronger opening. Some of Roman’s beginning inner monologue in the original is reused at the end of the revised chapter
Patton tearing that mugger apart is now 40% more gruesome and descriptive. 
Patton’s character is now more rounded out and thoroughly explored imho
Roman, Patton and Logan are now 20% more werewolf in their behavior 
Instead of Logan conveniently arriving home for that Dramatic Entrance when Patton finishes telling Roman what’s up, he’s just there and ready to silently disapprove Patton’s choices in life
The Argument at the end between the three is a bit more expanded upon and Patton has a bit more agency in it. 
Original Word-Count was 2557, Updated Word-Count is 4574, little over 2k more than the original.
Included below is the original chapter 3 so you can see the differences if you’d like
To be fair, Roman wasn’t surprised when Patton came home a stray in tow. Patton had a heart of gold—there wasn’t a mean bone in his body. He cried easily. He cried when a girl and her dog got separated in a movie, and he cried again when the two were reunited. He couldn’t bear passing by a downed bird, injured and all alone. It was why they now had a flock of ravens that took shelter within the confines of their yard.
Roman knew it was always hard for Patton to let go of the strays after he nursed them back to health. He grew attached to their presences, loved them like they were his own children. But he also knew that they couldn’t really care for pets with their type of lifestyle beyond the wild animals like the ravens that just wouldn’t leave. However, that was alright. A flock of ravens were considered good luck among werewolves.
So the ravens stayed, whilst the others were sent away. Logan always did his best to help situate the animals into loving homes. It made Patton feel better knowing that they went to owners who’d care for them just as much as he did.
What he was surprised about was the…species of the stray Patton brought home.
He heard the door click open, as he worked on his canvas. He didn’t bother glancing up. He didn’t need to use his nose to know it was Patton entering their humble yet magnificent dwelling. It couldn’t be anyone else, but Patton as Logan didn’t get off work this early, and there wasn’t anyone else who had a key to the house.
“Hey, padre!” He greeted, frowning as he redrew the eyes of his sketch, “Did you complete your quest to obtain the chocolate chip cookies with the extra chocolateyness?”
“Oh my goodness,” Patton gasped, “I left the cookies back in the city!”
“What happened? Did you get sidetracked by a baby squirrel again?” Roman chuckled.
He expected Patton to launch into some excited ramble about the cute poor animal he came across, or perhaps amazing scent trail that derailed him from his errand. But instead Patton seemed hesitant to share information.
“Not…exactly.” Patton admitted.
“What do you mean?” Roman finally looked up.
Instead of the kitten or baby bird that Roman expected to find, there was a stranger in Patton’s arms. Small and thin and pale in baggy black clothing. His first thought that must be another werewolf—Patton wouldn’t dare bring a human here, would he? But Roman took one sniff and knew immediately.
There was no mistake about it; Patton had brought a human into the home.
“Patton why is he here?” Roman growled, “He’s a human!”
The older man pressed his lips together, walking past Roman to lay the human on the couch before facing him once more.
“He was in trouble, Roman! He—he was all alone and I couldn’t just leave him—” Patton drew a breath, “Please, let me explain.”
-
To be fair, Patton did not mean to go sniffing out for trouble. He only meant to go sniffing out for cookies after another botched attempt at creating them. As much as he loved making food in the kitchen, baking was not his strong suit. Logan said it was because he wasn’t exact with his measurements. Patton didn’t see how adding more sugar could ruin the recipe that much. He only wanted to make the cookies sweeter, and what’s sweeter than sugar itself?
It was alright though, because that just gave himself an excuse to visit Thomas. He let his nose take all the way downtown to the Piece of Cake bakery. The bell jangled as he bounced in, grinning around at the pastel interior of the bakery. He took a deep breath in, letting the sweet scents of the desserts invade his nose.
“Hi Patton! What’ll it be today?” Thomas asked, giving a friendly wave from his place at the counter.
“Thomas! It’s so good to see you!” Patton squealed, reaching over the counter to give the man a hug.
The man let out a surprised yelp, but eagerly returned the hug just the same. He learned by now that Patton often to forgot to ask before he invaded people’s personal spaces in his rush to lavish them with affection.
“Opps sorry,” Patton gave a bashful grin as he withdrew from the hug, “I was just excited to see you! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”
“Patton, it’s only been like three days,” Thomas laughed.
“I know, but still.” Patton pouted.
The two made friendly conversation as Patton picked out his order. It wasn’t until another customer came into the bakery that the two exchanged their goodbyes, and Patton made his departure.
He hummed cheerfully, swinging the bag of cookies with each stride. Occasionally at intersections he took a moment to open the bag and smell the delicious sugary delights. Chocolate Chip, Snickerdoodles, Sugar Cookies—the scents tickled his nose with glee.
Patton loved scents—they often told the truth more often than someone else’s words or his own eyes could. He was happy he could always trust his nose when his other senses failed him. He couldn’t imagine not being able to smell! He’d rather give up his sight or his hearing than not being able to smell the comforting presences of his packmates.
Once, Logan revealed to him that humans couldn’t smell as well as their kind. Patton cried for fifteen minutes straight after that.
“Why are you crying?” Logan asked, awkwardly patting Patton’s back, “Humans’ sense of smell may be feeble compared to ours, but they have been able to survive just fine with it the way that it is. Besides, it is not as if they know the difference.”
“Exactly!” Patton sobbed harder, “They’ll never know how—how wonderful smell is.”
Logan sighed.
“Would it help any to say as a former human, that I now know how wonderful a heightened sense of smell can be?”
“A little.” Patton sniffled.
The crosswalk switched from an angry red hand to the cute walking stick figure that signaled it was the pedestrians turn to walk. The crowd surged forward, a few people bumping into Patton’s shoulder as they passed by him.
“Oh!” He looked up from the bag, spying the crosswalk signal. He covered up the bag once more and hurried across the crosswalk.
It was a long walk to the outskirts of the city where Roman, Logan and Patton lived, but he much preferred it over taking the car. As much as he enjoyed driving, he didn’t enjoy that thick traffic that left him antsy in the seat knowing he could walk faster than how fast the car was crawling across the interstate. When there wasn’t traffic clogging the streets, the car whipped by faster than Patton’s liking.
He took the idiom “stop and smell the roses” literally. Patton enjoyed walking because of the journey. He loved hearing the chatter out of the bustling city, the wind rustling his hair, seeing the various sights that the city had to offer. Not to mention the smells. While some scents like gasoline could be nauseating to smell, there was scents like—pizza. Greasy breading baked with tomato sauce and cheese with a variety of toppings. His stomach grumbled in agreement.
As if in a trance, Patton’s feet led him in the direction of a nearby pizzeria. It wasn’t until he was a block away from the restaurant that he realized how far off he deviated from the walk home. He needed to walk north, not inwards towards the heart of the city. As much as his mouth watered for pizza, he already prepared a delicious meal at home. He would have to save pizza for another day. Perhaps he could even make homemade pizza! He hadn’t tried that doing that yet.
It was hard to suppress his urge to chase after every wonderful scent that infiltrated his nose, however. The closer he came towards home, the more overwhelming it became. When Patton had been younger, it was harder for him to ignore the urges to chase after the scents. Flowers, perfume, the smell of Asian food wafting in the air from a nearby restaurant—it enticed and overwhelmed him.
He chased the scents, curious to see where they led. Often, he found himself in trouble from sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. After spending his childhood largely isolated from the human world, he had been ignorant of appropriate manners among humans. For example, humans often took offense if you smelled them. Whereas werewolves had very little sense of personal space. Something that could be found inherent in Patton by how he heaped affection on people within five seconds of meeting them.
Patton knew better now. He recognized he couldn’t gleefully chase each scent without abandon. He had a responsibility to look after the needs of the others. If Patton didn’t remind the two workaholics when to eat, he wasn’t sure who else would.
Gotta focus, gotta focus, gotta focus. The mantra ran through his mind repeatedly. He opened the bag of cookies once more, taking a deep whiff to remind himself of his mission. The rich chocolate, cinnamon goodness and fear reminded him that he can’t wait to share them with the others—wait.
Patton paused in the middle of the sidewalk, causing the person behind him to grumble in frustration. Fear? That can’t be right. That scent doesn’t belong with a cookie but rather—a living being. He scanned the bustling crowd who traveled down the sidewalk as usual. The scent of increased perspiration clung to the air, how could the humans just ignore it? Could they not smell it?
He didn’t stay put to find out. There’s no question in his mind whether if he should not follow this scent. His heart pounded, as he dashed after the scent. He trusted his nose to lead him to the source.
“Opps, Excuse me! Sorry!” He called out, apologizing to disgruntled pedestrians as he tore through the foot traffic. His large, hulking figure was perfect at plowing through the crowd—no one wanted to get trampled by a 6’2 man.
He skidded around a corner, the scent leading him to the entrance of a winding, dark alleyway. There lay a sight that angered him. A large burly human held a gun against a smaller one, who shook badly from terror.
Patton let out a low growl, too upset to say anything intelligible. His claws came out as he launched himself at the mugger, tearing him away from the small human. A shot rang out from his gun, and Patton could only hope it didn’t hit the human on the ground. The mugger attempted pointing his gun towards Patton, but he ripped the weapon out of his hand and onto the ground.
The mugger made a frantic scramble after it, but Patton pinned him to the ground. He sunk his claws into the man, and only let go when the man went limp.
He breathed in deeply, forcing himself to relax. His instincts screamed at him to remain on guard. But the danger had passed, and he needed to make sure the small human was okay. He was ignorant of a lot of things about humans, but he did know they could be easily frightened by his more wolfish appearance. The last thing he wanted was to scare the poor guy even further. As soon as he morphed back into a humanoid appearance, his focus went immediately to the small human—his eyes widening in concern at their collapsed figure.
“Are you alright?!” He called out as he rushed to their side. Their head lolled backwards, signaling that they had gone unconscious.
A surge of protectiveness took over him as he immediately gathered the human in his embrace. He can’t help but marvel over how small and fragile the human looked! He must have been the runt in his litter. The human wore a raggedy black hoodie and ripped jeans with scuffed up converse. His face was too thin to be healthy, and those circles underneath his eyes! If the poor thing didn’t faint from fright, he certainly fainted from exhaustion.
He gasped upon seeing the bandages wrapped around the human’s hands. The skin underneath looked red and swollen, indicating it was a fresh wound. The human’s hair was glistened with sweat. Patton pressed a hand against his forehead and nearly flinched at how warm it felt. He shouldn’t feel this warm…humans shouldn’t feel this warm, right?
Patton snuck a glance towards the mugger, and immediately withheld the urge to vomit. The wounds looked deeper than Patton had initially thought and although the mugger was still breathing, it might not be for long. Patton was a lover not a fighter. The thought that he could be this man’s cause of death was haunting. But as he looked back down at the runt, he didn’t regret it. The mugger had threatened an innocent life, and Patton wasn’t going to stand there and watch it happen.
That was also the reason why he couldn’t just leave the human, alone and unconscious, in the alley alone with the bleeding-out stranger that tried to kill him. If someone came across him, he’d be an easy meal. He had to take the human somewhere safe. The only thing is, Patton had no way of knowing where he lived. He had no way of tracking down his home. It was nearly impossible to distinguish a scent from the hundreds of millions of aromas existing in the city air.
A scream interrupted his thoughts. Patton looked up to see a woman staring from the entrance of the alleyway, covering up her mouth in horror. Patton’s mind came to a screeching halt as his instincts screamed a singular command at him. Run.
This was not a time to attempt explaining the situation. His nerves were shot, and he was afraid of what was going to befall on the human. Would the other humans see how sick and small he was and attempted to finish what the mugger started? He couldn’t let this small human go through any more pain than he already had. Not now he was here. He scooped up the human in his arms, sprinting into through the sidewalks of the city.
He ran as fast as his feet would carry him, afraid that police sirens would be after him at any moment. Patton was fast, but not fast enough to outrun a car. Especially while carrying the human, despite how worryingly light he was.
Patton, being paranoid, took detours—attempting to throw off any would-be pursuers off his trail. When he finally reached the porch of the house, he almost collapsed from exhaustion. The human let out a cry in his sleep, and Patton stroked his hair.
“Shhh,” He said, “You’re safe now.”
The human unconsciously leaned into the touch, completely relaxing in Patton’s hold. The werewolf’s heart melted even further.  If Patton’s heart was a popsicle, it was now a puddle of sugary sweet liquid.
As he sat on the porch, the human lying draped across his lap, he started to realize that Logan and Roman probably wouldn’t be happy with this arrangement. But Patton wasn’t going to abandon him, even if he was a human!
Which was why, he was now pleading to let the human stay with them.
“Please Roman, he needs help, I couldn’t just leave him all like that!” Patton begged, “Please don’t tell Logan—not yet, at least.”
“Tell Logan, what?”
Logan stood in the door frame, arms crossed as he stared down at the unconscious form of the human on the couch. Patton gulped.
He did not look happy.
“Hi Logan,” Patton chuckled nervously.
“What is he doing here?” Logan gestured to the human, “He shouldn’t be here, Patton. Do you remember what happened last time we let a human in our house?”
“This—this is different,” Patton insisted, “He needs us!”
“He needs to go!” Roman burst, clenching his fists.
Logan turned to look at Patton.
“Explain.” He said, and Patton did.
He repeated the same story as he had with Roman, with a few occasional interruptions by Logan who reminded him to stick the facts and not stray off into tangents. Once he finished, Logan sighed and pinched his nose between his fingers.
“So, what I’m hearing is that you panicked and weren’t thinking straight.”
Roman snorted. “Patton doesn’t think straight—ever.”
“I couldn’t just leave him all alone like that! What if he got attacked again?” Patton huffed.
“You could’ve left him at a police station or taken him to the hospital if you were worried about his health.”
Now that he thought about it, those might’ve been better options. Logan had always been good at figuring out more rational solutions to problems than Patton. But it didn’t change the fact that the tiny human was here now and needed their help.
“He needs a pack, Logan. And I know you know how to care for sick humans!”
Logan raised an eyebrow, “Patton, humans are social creatures, I’m sure he has packmates of his own who are concerned by his disappearance. There’s also no telling how he would react once discovering our true nature. We should take him to the hospital.”
Patton frowned. He hadn’t taken in consideration that the small human might already have packmates. If he did, Patton didn’t think they were good packmates based on the human’s malnourished appearance.
“We don’t have to tell him about the pack. But we can’t just leave him alone in the hands of strangers, Logan! We should care for him until we find out where his packmates are.”
Roman glanced between the two like a child observing an argument between their parents unfold in front of them.
Logan said nothing, reaching downwards to feel the human’s forehead.
“His temperature is unusually warm,” He noted, “We should take his jacket off—to help cool down his temperature.”
Patton’s eyes widened.
“Does that mean—”
“Yes, he can stay,” Logan said before clarifying, “only until he’s no longer ill.”
Roman’s eyes flashed angrily.
“Wh—”
“Patton, can you go prepare the spare bedroom for the human?” Logan interrupted.
“Of course!” Patton beamed as he scurried out.
As soon as Patton left the room, Roman turned to face Logan.
“Do I have no say in this?” Roman spluttered indignantly, “Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea? It’s a human, Logan. A. Human.”
“A human who is physically weaker, underfed and feverish compared to us. While it would be optimal to take him to a hospital, you and I both know about how attached Patton gets to…strays. I theorize he’s able to pack-bond more easily with other species than us.”
“Look, I don’t want to hurt Patton’s feelings as much you do, but we should put the safety of the pack first.”
“I did consider the safety of the pack in my decision making. This is a compromise—we’ll look after the human for long as he’s sick in exchange for Patton promising to return him to his friends and family,” Logan explained, “Who knows? The human might even want to leave early.”
He walked towards his study before turning to glance back at Roman.
“Make no mistake. I know how dangerous humans can be; I was once one myself, Roman, and I have no intentions of harboring the delusion of keeping one in our home any longer than necessary.”
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