#but if so ...please point me in the right direction.
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Bad Beer and Naked Rodents
Thank you @xmidhel for beta reading!
also on AO3
“You know,” Sal drawls, twisting the cap off another beer and handing it over, “for someone with an above average IQ, you’re dense as fuck.”
Tommy glares but accepts the bottle without protest. It’s his third. He takes a long sip and shudders. Bud Light. Why did Sal have to be such a fucking stereotype? But he was too tired to complain. He was too tired to do much of anything right now.
“He’s not wrong,” Lucy said to his left and Tommy directed his glare towards her instead. Like Sal, she wasn’t impressed.
“What? You know it’s true. There you are, genuinely happy for the first time in…” she pauses to think, “for the first time since I met you, actually.”
“Ever” Tommy supplies miserably, sinking further into the couch cushions. Something pokes into his right kidney and he reaches underneath himself, pulling out a small doll with messy blue hair, a pink ruffled dress and a … horn?
“Unicorn Barbie,” Sal exclaims and snags the doll from his hand. “Thanks man, you just saved this household a lot of sweat and tears. Look, babe, he found her!”
“Uncle Tommy to the rescue,” Gina says dryly, without even looking up from her laptop where she’s furiously typing some email that’s probably important and Tommy feels a pang of guilt at intruding on her peace and quiet unannounced at 9pm on a week day, Lucy in tow. He’s unable to dwell on it, however, because Lucy pipes up again.
“Let’s circle back here for a moment, your life was going great, you were happy, your hair was even starting to look good-“
“Hey!”
“Don’t interrupt me, Thomas. My point is, you got scared of commitment for three seconds and tell Evan Buckley, Evan Buckley, to go off to frolic on Grindr? I’m sorry, but do you know how stupid that is? Do you have any idea what happens to guys like Evan Buckley on Grindr?”
“Say his name like that one more time and I swear to God.” It comes out with far more venom than intended and he cringes internally. Why does he have to be such a bitch? It’s a credit to their love for him that none of his friends even bat an eye.
They’re not gentle either, and Tommy’s kind of glad about it. He doesn’t deserve gentle. Not now, maybe not ever again.
“What happens to guys like him on Grindr,” Sal asks curiously and then frowns. “And what do you know about Grindr?”
“My cousin wanted to try it out but he’s super paranoid about technology stealing his data, man’s still got a Nokia. So we set up his profile on my phone. He decided it wasn’t for him 10 minutes in but I kept the app and sometimes I go window shopping when downtime gets too long.”
“Why am I not surprised in the slightest,” Tommy mutters into his beer. Lucy is undeterred.
“Anyway, Gabe’s no hag either and similarly baby-faced as Buck so every time I open the app they’re on him in minutes. Seriously, it’s like The Walking Dead and some of the messages I get are borderline illegal. And don’t get me started on the dick pics. They’re not even nice-looking dicks most of the time.”
“Is there such a thing as a nice-looking dick? I’ve always found they all look a little like mole-rats.”
Sal, who’s been fiddling with Unicorn Barbie’s hair in a futile attempt to get out some of the knots pauses and makes a pitiful little sound staring wide-eyed at his wife who’s still neither looking up from her screen, nor is she pausing her aggressive typing, and Tommy’s both impressed and a little scared of that level of multi-tasking.
“Don’t worry, bud, Gi loves your dick. You’ve got three little monsters to prove it.”
Sal shoots Lucy a look so dirty Tommy almost laughs.
“I love the man attached to it. It’s still a mole-rat, though.” A beat of silence, then Gina looks up from her laptop for the first time in two hours, finding her husband’s eyes across the coffee table. “I love mole-rats.”
Lucy snorts, but Sal looks so pleased even Tommy has to smile.
“Still, though,” Lucy picks up the previous topic again, “are we sure it’s a good idea to throw Buck into a world of mole-rats and creepy old dudes wanting him to call them ‘daddy’?”
Tommy decidedly does not look in Sal’s direction. He loves Lucy and Gina but this is a topic one only discusses with one’s very best of friends.
“A world of disappointment, more like. Buck’s had Tommy now, anything else will just be a let-down.” The dirty grin spreading on Sal’s face tells Tommy he’s about to be in trouble. And he’s right.
“We didn’t call my boy here Nine-Inch-Nail in high school for nothin’.”
“Okay, first of all, that is such a lie,” the grin goes impossibly wider, “and second, I am not 9 inches, okay?”
Three sets of eyes wander down to his crotch and if it wasn’t these exact three people, Tommy would be so uncomfortable right now. As it is, he simply huffs and shoves a throw pillow into his lap, crossing his arms like a petulant toddler.
“I’m 8.6.”
Silence.
Then all three of them burst out laughing. He tries to hold on to his petulance, but he only lasts about ten seconds before the corners of his mouth begin to twitch and he finds himself joining in against all odds.
“As I was saying,” Sal hiccups after they’ve all calmed down again, “Buck doesn’t need any other mens’ mole-rats. He only needs Tommy’s giant mole-rat.”
Tommy groans.
“God, I hate you.”
Half past midnight Gina pulls the plug and throws them out. Sal tries to offer him the guest room, but he declines. As much as he loves his best friend’s daughters, he doubts he’ll can be Fun Uncle Tommy in the morning and he hates disappointing them.
As they wait for their Uber to pull up, Tommy feels strong fingers wrap around his wrist and a moment later he’s pulled into a tight hug.
“Don’t fuck up your life like that, Tom, not again. You were finally so happy. And I like you happy. ” Sal’s voice is quiet next to his ear, but there’s a softness to it that is usually reserved for his daughters. Tommy feels his throat close up and he buries his face into Sal’s shoulder.
“I just don’t know how not to, Sallie,” he admits and hates how forlorn it sounds.
How forlorn he feels.
“You trust him. I know it’s the most terrifying thing to do, believe me I do. But you gotta.”
Sal pulls back to catch his eyes, but keeps hold of Tommy’s shoulders.
“This man is the best thing that’s ever happened to you, Tom, and if you give up on what you have now, you will regret it for the rest of your life. But in order to keep it, you need to let him in and you need to trust him to know what he wants. It’s not your place to decide that for him.
And I know you want to let him set the pace, but you can only do that as long as you’re able to keep up. This relationship is about the both of you and if things are moving too fast, you have to tell him that. It’s not fair to either of you if you don’t.
And Tommy, you have to talk to him about your shit.”
Tommy opens his mouth to protest but Sal shuts him up with a shake of his head.
“No buts. Buck isn’t stupid. Do you really think he hasn’t clocked by now that you have trauma? I’m not saying you gotta tell him all of it at once. But you need to start somewhere.”
Sal pulls him back in roughly and presses a kiss to his temple.
“I’ve seen the way that boy looks at you. He wants to take care of your heart so badly. Let him. Let him love you. All of you.
And if it all goes to shit anyway, you know that I’ll be right here. I always will be.”
Tommy bursts into tears.
It’s 3am when he finally finds himself knocking at the same door he closed behind himself for what he thought would be the last time less than ten hours ago.
It’s telling that it takes Evan just under half a minute to open it. It’s more telling that his eyes are red-rimmed, and he’s still wearing the same clothes.
Evan’s terrible at hiding his emotions, doesn’t even try to most of the time. It’s one of the many things Tommy loves about him.
Right now, he seems to experience all of them at the same time.
Hope, when he opens the door. Relief, when his eyes fall on Tommy in the hallway.
Hurt, anger, fear, concern, fondness, and finally back to hope.
He’s silent. Waiting.
Tommy takes a breath.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
They look at each other, the insecurity and fear hanging between them like a cloud of vapor, so thick Tommy can almost taste it.
But there’s something else, too. Smaller, more fragile, and yet persistent like a moth chasing the light.
It’s the same thing Tommy’s seen in Evan’s eyes earlier.
Hope.
For a time, neither of them moves, as if they’re scared, that if they do it’ll spook and leave them alone in the dark again.
A minute passes. Two.
Somewhere in the building a baby begins to cry.
Evan steps aside.
#911 abc#evan buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#bucktommy fanfic#sal deluca#lucy donato#gina deluca#this is actually terrifying i haven't posted anything i've written in like a decade#totally did not accidentally put the title in wrong at first
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43) “god you’re so emotionally constipated.” for Emily x Reader please.
history smothers us
emily prentiss x gn!reader
summary: years of unspoken words and misconceptions threaten to destroy what remains of a once close relationship. you couldn't imagine your life without emily. now you look at her and feel every part of the ocean that destroyed you both. featuring prompt "god you're so emotionally consitpated" from my prompt list.
word count: 2.3k
warnings: angst with a happy ending. mention of blood. no use of y/n. set in season 12. unit chief prentiss.
a/n: thank you so much for the request <3 sorry it took me a while I struggled to find the right idea. I imagine this wasn't what you had in mind but I do hope you enjoy it anyway. also side note: i've deleted my taglist, i'm restarting because it was years old so if anyone would like be re-tagged or anyone new would like to be added pls lmk!
The police lights flash in the midnight sky. Agents and local police spread across the farmhouse. And you, sitting in the back of an ambulance, blood dripping down the side of your head, the beginnings of a headache making itself known.
The bright torch shining in your eyes makes you wince, but the EMT clears you of a concussion and hands you pain meds to swallow. You drag your hand through your hair, a frustrated sigh leaving your lips.
The unsub had come out of nowhere and whacked you over the head with a metal pole, and he probably would’ve done a lot more if it wasn’t for Tara being two steps behind you.
Honestly, you were fine. A little banged up, with a nasty bruise already forming, but the blood had been wiped away and it was almost like it had never happened.
Well, apart from the very angry Unit Chief Prentiss stalking towards you.
You wish this was an unfamiliar sight, but god she’d been back months now and you don’t think her smile had been pointed in your direction once.
“What were you thinking?” She scolds, voice sharp and eyes narrowed. You don’t miss the shaking of her hands as she holds them tightly on her hips or the rising flush of her cheeks, both she would blame on the cold but you knew they were born out of concern, not that she’d ever admit it. Not anymore.
“I’m sorry I didn’t realise the FBI now required its agents to have the abilities to see through walls.” You roll your eyes, the half-joke an attempt to fix her glare, but you know even as the words pass your lips it’s futile. Your shoulders slump, already tired for the fight ahead, “He came out of nowhere, Prentiss.”
Her lips purse, “They require you to be able to clear a room. It seems you might need a refresher course. Maybe until you can be trusted and I deem you requalified it’s best you stay back in quantico.”
“What?” You ask incredulously. Of all the dumb things- “Let me get this straight, you’re benching me over nothing? Tara was through that door seconds later. I wasn’t defying your orders. You have no reason to do this!”
“I want you to redo your basic training so I know you can be trusted in the field.” She demands, stoic, serious, and so far away from the soft woman you used to be able to reach out to.
You laugh, but the noise is sad and wild. You shake your head in disbelief, watching the woman in front of you that years ago used to be the person you were closest to in the world. Now you stare at her and feel every part of the ocean that destroyed you both. “God, you’re so emotionally constipated.”
“Excuse me?”
You push yourself off the end of the ambulance, bringing yourself to your full height and meeting her gaze. You knew the day she accepted the unit chief position this wouldn’t end well, there was too much history, too much the two of you had left unsaid, hurt and anger smothering any possible relationship left.
“Let’s not pretend this has anything to do with my performance.” You begin,
words low enough that if she didn’t listen the words threatened to disappear with the wind, “It’s because I got hurt and you’d rather damage my career and ruin the tatters of our relationship than admit that me getting hurt scared you.”
Emily steps backwards, face stricken. Her hands fall from her hips, her mouth opening and closing as she struggles for words.
You decide there’s nothing left she can say. You excuse yourself and grab a lift with Luke, happy to leave the crime scene and your boss behind. After everyone’s finished at the farmhouse and packed up at the police station it’s nearing two am and everyone is ordered back to the hotel to catch a few hours of sleep before the flight in the morning.
Your feet are dragging by the time you make it to your room. The meds have done their job though and your headache had faded away, but nothing but sleep was going to help your heavy and aching bones. You wave a tired goodbye to Tara, who unlike Emily had no issues checking in and making sure you were okay, and then retreat to your room.
You slump into the chair at the desk, telling yourself you’ll find the energy to get ready for bed in one minute. But so thankful to finally be off your feet. Your reprieve lasts only minutes before a knock sounds at your door. A withered sigh leaves your lips and you consider ignoring it but still find yourself pushing yourself upright and making your way back to the door.
When you open it, you wish you’d listened to your thoughts.
“Hi?” You say hesitantly, staring into the tired face of Emily Prentiss. There’s no anger, her shoulders are almost slumped, defeated maybe? You look away, too scared to analyse further.
“Can I come in?”
You open the door further allowing her entrance. She smiles, tight lipped at you, nodding her thanks. You close the door and wait for her to speak, pondering how in the hell you both got to awkward silences and forced tight lipped smiles when years ago you two could share looks across the room and know what the other was thinking, spent hours talking and laughing together, how you had built a life and never thought there would be a day that she wasn’t in it with you.
“We can’t go on like this.” She starts eyes meeting yours before flickering away, “Things between us have not been right since I returned and I think maybe we should clear the air. I want to be the Unit Chief, I want to be back here at Quantico but that only works if we can be a team.”
You scoff. It slips from your mouth, uncontrolled and harsh. Emily’s gaze snaps to yours, her surprise at the sound clear. You shake your head, “What is there to say?” Where would we even begin?
“I-” She chokes, blinking as the emotions claw at her throat. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”
Your brows draw in confusion as you shake your head, “What are you talking about?”
“After everything that happened with Doyle-”
Your eyes bulge, “You think I'm still upset about that? God, do you think I’m a monster? You survived. You lived. That’s all that matters.”
Tears pool in her eyes, but she blinks them away, her gaze shifting to the wall as her fingers pick at a hangnail. She looks back at you, still picking, gaze more open and lost than you’ve seen in a long time. “Then why? I hurt you. I can see it in the way you can barely stand to be around me, like it hurts you to even be in my presence.”
You blow out a breath, eyes moving around the room before they land back on her and then away again. “It’s not your fault.” You breathe, emotions lodged in your throat and heart beating wildly against your chest as you try and force the words out. “You didn’t hurt me, I hurt myself. There was never going to be a life I led that you weren’t right with me, you know?” You laugh, wet and broken.
Emily’s mouth falls open, her eyes emotional pits that you don’t dare hold.
“And then you left for London and I couldn’t exactly be upset because I had no say in what you did with your life. We were just friends. I knew it’s what you needed and I don’t resent you for that. I just…” You take a breath, “I was so angry at myself for missing you, for thinking that I could be someone you would stay for.”
And there it was. The truth. Because at the end of the day, you’ve always just wanted to be enough for the woman in front of you. For her to see you as more than just your friend. To one day have your feelings returned.
She’d left and you’d both been busy and you’d deliberately tried to separate yourself as well, drawing back from the painful reminder that you weren’t enough. And since her return, all those emotions have been resurfacing, however much you tried to keep them buried. Because falling out of love with Emily Prentiss was just not something you were capable of, and you’ve spent years trying too.
Emily approaches you, the space between you closing ever so slightly. Your gaze sticks to the ground, scared to see the easy to read emotions across her face. She takes a breath, the sound muffled by the beating of your heart.
“After I came back from Paris, I used to find myself looking at you and knowing I couldn’t be that woman you remembered, the one you sought for. I wanted to. Desperately.” Her voice hitches, and then lowers to a hoarse whisper, “I wanted to be the woman you fell for.”
Your eyes finally rise, against your will. Tears make their way in delicate paths down her cheeks, she looks every bit as lost as you feel. The only thing stopping you from falling apart is the fear that if you let go you may never recover.
“I didn’t need you to be anyone. I just wanted you to be yourself. I wanted you to trust me.” You respond gently.
She shakes her head, “No, everyone was looking for that version of me that I couldn’t grasp onto.”
“Emily,” You sigh painfully. Her face crumples, eyes squeezing shut at the sound of her name from your lips. It’s been so long, you know. “You were healing from a trauma. I’ve always wanted the authentic you, whatever that includes. Why would that suddenly change?”
She nods, a deep frown on her face as she accepts your words. Then a wet laugh, as she wipes away her tears. “I’ve missed you. Every day. I hate being in the same room as you and it being awkward. I used to be able to look at you and know what you’re thinking. I want that back.”
A small smile curves your lips, “Me too, more than anything.”
“Yeah?” She questions. Her teeth run across her lip, as she dares to hope. “You think we could get back there?”
Your heart hammers. “I just need you to be really clear here. What exactly are we getting back to?”
She steps forward, finally close enough to touch. Her hand hesitantly reaches out and touches yours, her cold fingers intertwining with your warm ones. Your body remembers her touch, relaxes and leans into it automatically. You eat it hungrily, tracking the movement before your eyes rise to meet hers and find soft, open eyes watching you. “I want to make you fall in love with me again.”
Your breath catches in your throat, tears pooling in your eyes as your hand shakes in hers.
“And this time, I promise, I’ll be there to catch you.”
“We might have a slight problem with that plan.” You laugh, trying your hardest not to sob.
She frowns, nose wrinkling in the way you adore. “What’s that?”
“It’s pretty difficult to re-fall in love when I never stopped loving you in the first place.” You huff, and Emily laughs, rich and free and bright. Her face joyful and happy, and with the wide bright smile you’ve waited months to feel pointed in your direction. God the sight makes your head spin.
“Is that so?” She asks, hand moving up to cup your cheek, eyes full of love and pointed at you.
You can only nod, dizzy from her attention and the emotions coursing through your body.
When her lips find yours it feels like finally coming home. Soft and delicate, both too scared to push too hard, exploring slowing even as her hand holds your cheek and yours fists in her shirt. You’ve waited years for this, and if you get more of these than it will be worth it. Everything is worth it for the feeling of Emily in your arms.
When she pulls away, it’s too soon. You follow her mouth and she concedes and gives you a couple more slow kisses before she stops herself, resting her forehead against yours.
“I just want to say sorry for earlier.” She whispers into the safe space you’ve built. “You were right, I was scared when you got hurt. Dave’s already kicked my ass for my response, you won’t receive any disciplinary action.”
You nod slightly, her forehead moving against yours, “Thank you.”
“It won’t happen again.” She promises, sealing the words with a kiss to your lips.
“I know.” You kiss her again, but this time you break out into a yawn midway through. Your momentarily forgotten exhaustion, making itself known.
She melts against you, caressing your cheek. “Oh, you need to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow. I’m taking you out for dinner.”
You bite your lip to hide the smile threatening to take over your face, “A date?”
She chuckles, rolling her eyes. “Yes, a date. But only if you sleep first.”
“Your wish is my command.” You can’t stop the grin from taking over your face anymore. You press a peck to her lips and lead her back towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow.” She agrees, eyes fluttering over your face as if she’s committing every aspect to memory. “Sleep well.”
“You too.”
She presses one last kiss to your lips before she opens the door and makes her exit. You close the door quietly behind her, sinking back into it and allowing the giggle to finally escape your mouth.
What the fuck had just happened.
Emily Prentiss kissed you.
Emily Prentiss has feelings for you.
You weren’t alone.
You bite your lip and push off the door, finally ready to get ready for bed and praying come morning that this would still be your reality.
taglist: @aburman03
#emily prentiss x reader#emily prentiss#criminal minds#season 12#gn!reader#cm fic#fanfiction#kt writes#angst with a happy ending#history smothers us#not my gif
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Do you have any tips for taking photos of physical objects? I like making things, but taking photos of them is the worst :(
Sure! I also struggle with taking pictures of stuff, but I can give you two big suggestions (and I'll try to keep my explanation brief for now, but you are always welcome to come back and ask for clarification!). As always, these suggestions are not rules, so if it goes against what you know or have been taught or what works best for you, feel free to disregard it lol.
Lighting, and set-up (which I will roll camera angle into).
You don't need anything big and fancy to take nice pictures of what you make. You don't need a big DSLR camera or box lights or a crazy image processing program. You can take great pictures of your stuff right at home with things you already have. I know a lot of potters who take decent pictures of their work in a corner of their living room with a simple paper sweep (poster board), one directional light (one guy I know even uses just a lamp and points it towards his pots), and something to take pictures with whether that's your phone or a little point and shoot.
Lighting. A good rule of thumb is to not back-light your work as your primary light source*. Make sure your primary light source is in front and pointing at the thing you're trying to photograph. You can even kick it off to the side for a nice three-quarters effect! You CAN have some back-lighting as long as is is acting as your fill (secondary light source) OR if you're shooting outdoors. If you want to go for natural lighting, gray days are actually quite nice as they offer even lighting (though if you want that bright sun, go for it!). *That is not to say back-lit things are bad, just that they aren't necessarily going to show off your work unless it's designed to be that way.
Set-up. This can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be! Figure out how you want to shoot your work, and then figure out how to light the space. If you want something clean, create a light box. Use a box with a white/light gray sheet draped inside to make a contained space, or pick a corner of a room and either drape a sheet or use some poster board to make a little box you can easily put up and take down. If you want something that's more set up, I have actually used my work space as my backdrop. Show the tools you are using, maybe some material, and build a composition around your piece! That takes a little more effort but can be quite nice.
As for taking the actual picture, I have found that I personally like to have it slightly up at a shallow angle so it's not straight on or too high looking down on the piece. You can easily create an unflattering angle, but there are little nuances to taking pictures of those more extreme angles. It's just not what I'm interested in lol. Have your piece nice and centered at the angle you like, and make sure the camera is focusing on your work as much as possible and not the surrounding environment (I won't get into depth of field and all that, but that's worth keeping in mind). You can do that with some simple settings our technology has these days! (Also side note: if you are using your phone, clean the camera lens on your shirt first. It's crazy how easily that little thing can get dirty and give you smudgy looking photos lol)
I'll stop myself there, but hopefully these suggestions can help you feel more confident in taking pictures of your work! As always, feel free to ask more questions if you have any.
#ask me stuff!#arting#yes this was my brief explanation im sorry lmao#photography#i do a lot of product photography at work so i have a lot of practice#so like#take lots of pictures#try different things#look up tutorials on youtube and stuff#ive taken a LOT of bad pictures to get to where i am lol so dont be afraid to take those bad shots#i am very against gate keeping skills so like#please feel free to ask questions#and if i dont know the answer ill try to point you in the right direction
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Prompt 12 - Jealous
@jegulus-microfic November 12, Word count 746
Previous part First part
James jumped out of his car before any of the others could even unbuckle their seatbelts and opened Regulus’s door for him. Regulus looked up at him a bit bewildered, but took his hand anyway and let James guide him out of the car.
“How come you never do that for me?” Remus pouted as he walked around the car to where Sirius stood waiting.
“Because of what I let you do to me this morning,” Sirius quipped, raising his brow, daring Remus to keep going as he would definitely describe every moment in minute detail. He’d done it before and would feel no shame in recounting their exploits in front of his brother. Remus smartly kept his mouth shut, and they headed into the gallery silently.
James was surprised how many people were milling around the exhibits and just how large the art show actually was. There were so many artists showcasing their work.
“Where’s yours?” He asked Regulus as they followed the crowd to the first display.
“Back right,” Regulus told him, pointing in the right direction. James started to walk that way, but Regulus tugged his hand to stop him. “No, we have to look at everybody’s. We can’t just go straight to mine,” Regulus muttered quickly.
“Why not?” James questioned. “I want to see yours,” Regulus’s cheeks turned pink as he ducked his head.
“I need a few minutes to prepare myself for going over there,” Regulus admitted, clearly nervous about how James would react.
“Let’s go look at some art then,” James said, kissing the back of Regulus’s hand and following after Sirius and Remus. “Thank you for telling me what you needed, love. You can always do that, and I’ll respect it every time,” He didn’t need to look down to know how deep the red was that coloured Regulus’s cheeks now, he could quite happily picture it in his head.
They caught up with Sirius and Remus, the former having a heated discussion with Remus in front of the artist about his piece.
“I just don’t get it,” Sirius was saying. “I mean, it’s just a tennis ball,” Remus sighed.
“It’s modern art; the tennis ball represents the way that commercialism has changed the way sports are viewed,”
“It represents a game of fetch,” Sirius retorted, much to the artist's ire. Remus hurriedly moved Sirius along to a painting of a park. “See, Remus, there’s a dog playing fetch with a tennis ball,” He said loudly as they took in the work.
“I changed my mind,” Regulus said quietly into James’s ear. “I can not follow him around here, let's just go see my stuff,” James beamed down at him.
“Lead the way, love,”
Regulus led them all the way to the back of the hall and stopped in front of ‘Burk with a Nana’. “Wait!” James exclaimed. “They let you display it with that name?!” Regulus shrugged.
“Art,” He said simply, as a means of explanation. “As long as it isn’t too sweary, they don’t mind.”
James moved with Regulus, looking at each piece. Regulus seemed to lean towards painting, but there were charcoal sketches, clay sculptures and a cat made from intricately twisted gold-coloured wire. James was in awe of Regulus and was about to say so when he spotted him chatting with a tall, dirty-blonde-haired man. He felt suddenly quite jealous, an emotion he wasn’t used to feeling at the easy way they were conversing and the smile on Regulus’s face. He strode over there, putting a possessive arm around Regulus and waited to be introduced.
“James, this is Evan. Our parents know each other. Evan, this is James, my, er, my…”
“Boyfriend,” James provided helpfully. To be fair to Regulus, they hadn’t discussed labels, but, by the pleased look on Regulus’s face, he quite liked this one. Evan’s eyebrows shot up his face in surprise.
“Oh, wow,” He said. “Erm, wow, Regulus, that’s so good,” His face softened. “I’m so happy for you. I’m here with my boyfriend, actually. I think you know him. Oh, look, here he is now. Darling, look who it is,” A slim-built man in an expensive-looking suit strode over to their little group, his dark brown hair slicked back expertly, showing off the sparking diamond earring, glinting off the light as he neared them. James felt Regulus still at his side.
“Barty,” Regulus breathed out when the man stopped before them, looking shocked at who Evan was talking to.
“Reggie?”
Next part
#November 12#jegulus#jegulus microfic#jegulus fanfiction#jegulus fic#james potter#regulus black#james fleamont potter#regulus arcturus black#jfp#r.a.b#the marauders era#harry potter#james x regulus#regulus x james#regulus and james#james and regulus#james potter x regulus black#jegulus au#jegulus fluff#cute boys#sirius black#remus lupin#sirius being a pest#james being in awe of regulus's talent#evan rosier#barty crouch jr#uh-oh#jealous
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are there any trans guys out there making fucked up industrial music. or do i have to do everything myself (eventually)
#i dont know shit about making electronic music but i want to learn#and i feel like many of the well known transmasc musicians make like. ukelele music. indie folk. indie rock. that kind of thing.#and maybe that's just because im not looking in the right places#but if so ...please point me in the right direction.#to be clear theres nothing wrong with indie music and shit liks that in general. i do listen to stuff like that some#but I'm sick of that being all there is when you go looking for transmasc musicians#i for one want to learn from my trans sisters and make fucked up electronic music too. okay#this is a real question btw. like if you know of any such artists#or if YOU make such music#please tell me#share it with me im begging#musicposting#trans music#(geiger counter clicks)#industrial music#tbh also if you know of any trans guys in metal or other more extreme genres . ill happily take those recommendations too#give me your screamiest most unapproachable shit
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So like most people I had two theories going into this ep about Mother Darkness- either she was Shub or Lillith (or, I suppose, some Harlan Guthrie curveball where she's just not mythos-born at all)
Then the ep dropped and um. "The Witch", "The Shroud", many faces, around since life first appeared, not asleep but active, a hivemind, interconnected physical forms, powerful yet requiring sacrifice from her followers to maintain this form of existence
And I'm like Yidhra??? Yidhra the Mother? The Life-Giver? Yidhra the Restless One, sending her followers forth to seek new blood for her endless change? Yidhra the Dream-Witch? Yidhra the Shrouder, wreathing the faithless in shadow; Shrouder, devouring the errant and hostile ones, Shrouder, who hides men forever??? Is that you, queen?????
#the thing is i Know harlan knows about Where Yidhra Walks bc the scene jn the Red Right Hand in s2 was a Direct Echo of a scene in the story#and he loves to drop buzzwords when deacribing entities to give clues as to what they are. like the alabaster skin thing when he was#pointing us to lillith#and the Shroud is suuuuuch a pointed name its killing me#please be yidhra please be my best girl#malevolent#malevolent spoilers#malevolent 45#era speaks#i could be so wrong. but i can dream okay
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the time skip between S4 & S5 robbed us of many things but one I would've loved to see is merlin going fully into anxious-event-planner mode for arthur and gwen's wedding
#please rec me fics about arthur and gwen's wedding#sorry – “handfasting cerimony.”#you know when merlin's giving arthur that keyed-up speech about his attire not being appropriate for the occasion#right before arthur announces hes going to marry princess mithian#imagine that kind of energy. but directed at everyone in the castle#and everything must be PERFECT for arthur and gwen so he almost has a meltdown at some point#after which gwen tells him to relax. probably.#headcanons#fanfic ideas#merlin#arwen
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Illustration assignment "Coqui frog creation" based on the puerto rican legend of the coqui frog. The goddess fell in love with a human named Coqui and after he died she created the frogs to sing his name every night (Coqui frogs are named after the sound they make) so this is an illustration of her creating the frogs from her tears.
Coquis don't have a tadpole stage as they're a tree-dwelling species, so they emerge as froglets (miniatures of the adult). The less developed white frog represents their fetal stage inside the egg
#my art#class assignment#digital art#illustration#coqui#puerto rico#frog#amphibian#i tried my best to research what the Taino goddess would be wearing. I had limited time to finish this up so if anyone is more knowledgable#and can point me in the right direction to learn more about this subject please let me know how i can improve#Her jewelry is supposed to be made of bone#shells and stones
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Going to the mall as I am now (kinda punky/extremely autistic) is kinda funny like. That's a nice shirt. However, it's not one of my thousand beloved black graphic t shirts and it is such a texture and kind of a weird shape to it and honestly I don't really wanna buy any sort of fast fashion type shit or brand shit. Don't care. Oh they have patches. Kinda cute but straight up I can just make those. In fact, I would prefer to. Don't care. Also I'm not buying that.
#i've kind of become a very hard person to please but it's deceptive. in both directions#what i really want is materials. and incredibly specific things.#also just. something about the patches that were designs/artwork like. i feel like i'm being sold an aesthetic#when like. yeah. yeah you are quite literally LMFAOOOOOO#i wanna start a for real battle jacket.... a sturdy but lightweight enough vest for daily wear...#i have a vest but it's flimsy as fuck and not the right shape for me. so i think i'll scrap it for patches#i still gotta figure out how to make nice patch designs though. that is something i struggle w for some reason#but like. i'm not buying mall patches LMFAOOO like. idk it almost feels insulting#idk idk maybe i'm taking it too seriously LMFAO but it does feel like brazen commodification#of something that's like. you're supposed to do it yourself. kinda goes against the whole point#ideologically too. but again maybe i'm just too serious about it.#but like above all i don't want Things i want stuff to make things.#OH MY GOD I GOT IT. those fucking patches were the live laugh love of people who want the aesthetic and edge of punk#but none of the roughness. none of the shittiness. and none of the actual philosophy behind it.#gooooddddddddd i probably sound insufferable though LMFAOOO#i also just feel like a poser myself at times like. i could go deeper i think.#anyways. most important thing and whole point of the trip was manga. got some manga 👍🫡
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genuine question about being charitable to people who simply don't know better/are highly propagandized against certain ideas: how do you assess whether or not the person is simply misinformed or actively malicious, and beyond that, when is it no longer worth it to spend time and energy trying to converse with them? my attitude has always been that people who are genuinely willing to learn will listen and everyone else, no matter if they're engaging in good faith, is just not worth the effort and it's impossible to dedicate so much time to everyone like that anyway. but i'm rethinking whether that's the right approach or not
#please reply with your opinions! anyone can answer in the replies or asks#i'd especially appreciate hearing from people who are experienced with this sort of stuff#of course at the end of the day those most willing to learn will seek out knowledge on their own#that's a given but aside from that i'm mainly talking about people who could potentially show the same initiative#and enthusiasm on their own if pointed in the right direction#for some reason i recently remembered the first time my brother told me he was a communist#i was like 14 or something and i thought he was joking because there's no way he's seriously a communist right?#i didn't even know anything about politics and yet my immediate reaction was so conditioned#that's what prompted this lol
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i wanna. slam my head into something reepeatedly
#cat's rambles#neptune is complaining again#does this count as sh i rhink so. also be warned rant ahead#tw sh#can my dance teachers shut u p please. i dont want oth ear about how much of a fucking baby i used to be. im sorry i cried#every lesson but dont you think it mightve been because i wwas *gasp* UNCOMFORTABLE?? maybe it didnt feel right to#constantly wear dresses and skirts and loook like a girl all the time??? maybe you dont have to fucking comment on it??#maybe i fucking hate you and can you STOP FUCKING POINTING IT OUT. I WAS A CHILD OKAY. I WAS ALLOWED TO BE EMOTIONAL I THINK.#and he finds it fucking funny?? that he ruined one of the five dances that i do for me?? that i cant fucking dance it anymore because#my routine still hasnt changed since he taught me and i cant get him out of my head?? maybe me fucking crying all the time#had a reason?? just a fucking thought i guess!!!!#maybe you dont have to comment on how much i fucking cry!! maybe you dont have to make fun of me for it !! maybe you should#fucking stop if you see im uncomfortable !!!#maybe theres a reason i dig my nails into my arms hoping to bleed whenever you start fucking talking!!!#maybe theres a reason i cried whenever i saw you!!!!#okay yeah not directed at anyone here. directed at my dance teachers#sorry for ranitng im just. yeah. sorry.#not gonna proofread i dont fucking care#delete later
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Ok, my brain rot and adhd are soo bad y’all, I can’t even. So um please help me decide what to work on. I just have so many thoughts and projects bouncing around in my mind.
As you can see, lots of options… I’m thinking whatever I do end up working on, depending on what it is I’ll either finish and post or I’ll at least post some sort of snippet or something.
#please help… Im like all over the place so point me in the direction you’re most interested in seeing me finish first#lol these are just the things I have going in progress… not even touching some other ideas… oof :/#these are in no particular order…. but depending on my inspiration I hold the right to also just choose whichever even if not the top option#c!dream#dsmp#oh I’ll do them all btw just a matter of time…#dreblr#random polls#thank you… <3#dream smp
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im so fucking mad at myself and my stupid fucking coping mechanisms and that it took me this fucking long to realise im a people pleaser and not only that but the most pathetic kind - the kind that doesnt *actually* manage to please anyone lol
#im so pissed today for no reason#it is toxic it is manipulative and none of it is actually what i want but oh well. guess mom was right lol#or maybe it IS the direct effect of her regularly telling me im evil and a monster (which are NOT words people use in real day to day life#like please lol and lmao but that's what you get when your mother's a stage actress)#so maybe my whole modus operandi now is trying desperately to prove to people that i am nice and kind and understanding#and that you can trust me and turn to me for help and i will do my silly little terminator like psychoanalysis of what you need the most#and try to give it to you until it exhausts me to the point where i completely withdraw and alienate myself#but at that point its already too late for either of us :)#see i can do it myself i dont need a therapist to tell me that. have fun on your vacation babygirl.#ill still be the worst person ever when you come back <33333#anyway. huh. what a day huh (its 2pm)#anyway as cartoonish edgy emo dementia raven way as it sounds. i really need to stop letting people get close to me.#surface level fun casual 'friendship' or dont bother.
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and if I were to make a zine? what then?
#oh ho ho#big words from someone who's been in one zine so far right#(why does this feel like I'm V.O.-ing my own post... anyway-)#I do want to make a zine one day for sure#I've wanted to join some t.mnt zines but they always say t-cesters and proshippers can't apply so i'm like :(#let me in?#please?#some things are logical like - no tcest pieces for applications#after all it's not a tcest zine so some mods won't be comfortable with it#wait is there a tcest zine#...if there is can I make another one#also please point me in the direction of that#gonna gather some experience and also people who want to help before doing this but I'm (eyes emoji)-ing this hard#tello talks
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*flopped down on a couch w/a glass bottle of apple juice to make it look like i'm drinking beer*
yeah... yeah i'm fine.... just coming to terms w/the fact that i must use javascript in order to achieve my vision w/the neocities...
#the main reason i haven't just abandoned this particular aspect of the Vision(tm) is bc it would be useful for like.#more than one thing. so it's like. le sigh.#(reading the documentation for tippy tooltips tonight so that i can sleep on it n try to implement it tmrw or something)#why is it always js.... please god spare me at least a Little bit of suffering here i'll never sin again etc etc#speaking of sin i've started speaking more candidly abt my queerness w/the kids at work this week#it's nice to talk to the older kids (as in fifth grade or older) bc even tho like. nine years old is when they start to be tolerable#they lack awareness n life experience. today i told the older kids that i like men but in a gay way#n one of them was like 'i don't get it' n then i reminded her of Gender:tm: n she was like 'ohhhh i get it'#n the two guys also listening were like 'what. i still don't get it.' ONE OF THEM ASKED ME IF I WAS AMAB ACTUALLY LOL#n i was like 'what? that's not important.' but that was really surprising! kids usually read me as female#so it was kind of flattering in a way to be asked 'were you born a boy?' like idk how he's trying to process my gender#but i'm going to flatter myself into thinking the question comes from him like. idk clocking some kind of innate masculinity or w/e idk#花話#anyway it's Crazy that it took me almost a year to not feel like i'd get instantly fired for telling kids i'm queer#Not going to lie it really felt like i'd never get to this point but it really is kinda just once you start it gets easier#(though to be fair i also wouldn't have told Any of the kids Anything had one of them not started acting like 'gays' was a dirty word)#(n i just Looked at him n said 'you know i'm a queer right?' n he was like 'O_O')#when i worked at homophobic summer camp i do remember daydreaming abt telling my boss i was a 'flaming queer'#i'd have put my feet up on her desk n everything as i made direct eye contact w/her but ofc i never did anything like that.#anyway! i will slep now so that i can get back to work on my projects tmrw morning
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Should I see a therapist for my unexplained contempt for my Heterosexual Family Members and their wedding planning and their baby-craziness y/n?
#like at this point i'm really going to hell for my feelings alone dfghjgfds#there's nothing really bad about them!! nothing to really dislike!! i just feel so much annoyance and resentment#something shifted in me in the past year and i fear it's turning me into a sour old bitch. but also....... oh well....?#a therapist would probably propose that i'm secretly jealous or insecure and.... i am definitely not jealous but i miiiight be insecure#about being 25 and not feeling like a woman and going in no direction. not planning to get married or have kids#so what kind of woman am i? also just being forced to engage with the straightest cissest people in my daily life#wears you down.#i have no reason to dread this eventual wedding (partner's brother's wedding). in fact it's going to be fun!! weddings are fun right...?#but lord..... my partner and i basically have to wear different skins around some family members. even though we probably don't have to...#but my real skin -- my real self -- i worry that i'm just a sour bitch. like don't hand me your toddler please. don't talk to me about marri#*marriage. don't push me into the kitchen to do dishes with the other women.#even our queer friends all want to have kids one day. is it just going to be me and my partner babysitting 5 kids?#because again not to sound like a bitch but i am Not Comfortable nor cut out for it.#god i'm nervous about meeting my partner's brother's fiancee's family. holy fuck i'm nervous.#imagining myself telling them that i'm doing my undergrad in gender studies of all things PPPFFFFGHJGFDGJHFG#like this tiny bare-faced girl with a moustache introduces herself at this traditional wedding like 'yeah i'm a disgusting feminist' LOLLLL#one fear.
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