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blankerthought · 10 months ago

Text

transcription of george's stream

I wanted to put this somewhere so that people could access it, any spelling mistakes are my own error, i tried my best.

George states that he pre-recorded this due to several screenshots he has that add to his points and due to the fact that he wanted this to be done as perfectly accurate as it happened. He says he’s telling the whole story, so while some things may seem irrelevant, he’s including them to lay out all the facts.

TRANSCRIPT

Okay, so, this is my side of the story of the 2 times that I ever interacted with caiti in real life. So the first time that I met her it was in Dream’s hotel room at vidcon . To give context about Dream’s hotel room, essentially it was a bigger room than average, it’s not just a bed in a room like a typical hotel room is. Essentially it’s, there was a living room, there was a table, and the bedroom was separated from it. And for this reason we used his hotel room essentially as a place where all of our friends would hang out in. Vidcon is a 4 day long event, so we actually used it quite frequently throughout these four days, and we had creators, friends, in and out of these rooms throughout the whole event.

The first night that I actually met caiti, I was with Dream in his hotel room, and Dream was in a groupchat with 5 other people. These 5 people include: caitibugs, her best friend, and three other of her friends. Now, these five people, they were at an official vidcon afterparty and they wanted to, they wanted Dream to go meet up with them and hang out with them. But Dream didn’t actually want to hang out with them, and the reason is because at the time he was wearing his Dream mask a lot and he felt uncomfortable wearing it, because it’s just, the whole mask on your face, so he just didn’t wanna go to the party particularly. He even suggested that they shouldn't come because he was assuming that they were having more fun where they were.

[Image 1 appears on camera at this point, at the left side of the screen. It’s a screenshot from a text conversation (presumably twitter), though it doesn’t specify who the messages are from. Transcriptor will be referring to the person sending messages to the phone as 1 and the person whose phone it is as 2. It reads:

1- what if ghostie and caitie come back w me too

2 - maybe

idk what my friendos are up to

i’m still at corn dogs with some friends

but leaving shortly

1- wanna play that game from last night

2- it might just be us 4

for a bit at least

1- well make it fun

2- I don’t want to take them away from the party

The last message from 2 is highlighted. End image 1 ID.]

They reassured him that that wasn’t the case, they were bored, and they wanted to come.

[Image 2 appears on the screen. More messages, presumably same people as image 1.

2- are ghost and caiti having fun

1- not rly

[short message censored by a red bar]

would u be ok if we come over?

End image 2 ID.]

So now these 5 people are trying to come to the hotel, but the problem with that is, to get into the hotel you need to have a vidcon creator badge and only 2 of the people in the groupchat actually had this badge, that was Caitie and her best friend.

[Image 3 appears on screen. A vidcon creator badge is shown. End ID.]

[Image 4 appears on screen. Text messages from someone whose name and pic are blocked with a red bar. Their texts read: passed to the hyatt? passes? 2 out of 5. End ID.]

So eventually what happened is Caitie and two of her other friends came to Dream’s hotel room. This was my first time actually meeting them in real life, I didn’t even know who they were before meeting them. And then we essentially just were playing drinking games in the hotel room, we were just having fun, talking with each other, nothing crazy in particular.

Now one thing Caitie said retrospectivly, looking back at the scenario, is that I was flirting with her throughout the night and that she was uncomfortable with this because of our age difference. At the time she was 18 and I was 26. She actually assumed I didn’t know her age because she had never said it but then later I had DM’d her on Instagram and because of this she said that it is confirmed that I know her age. To give context to this scenario and to why I didn’t know her age, my perspective of things is that I am with people that are over the age of 21, in a scenario where we are doing things that people over the age of 21 are doing, like drinking, and also the people that came, came from an event where they have very heavy security.

This was an official vidcon afterparty and with previous vidcon afterparties I’ve even had problems getting into these events. There was one time where they didn’t let me in because they couldn’t confirm the legitimacy of my UK ID, they said they weren’t trained to look at foreign IDs, so they didn’t even let me in despite me being 26 at the time.

And also since caiti’s stream, I’ve gone back and reviewed texts from that time, and there was actually a picture where it was shown that they have this 21+ wristband on one of their wrists.

[Image 5 appears on screen. It is a cropped picture of someone’s arm with a wristband reading “Over 21” . End picture 5 ID.]

So from my perspective, it’s a bunch of 21+ year olds… hanging out. I had no reason to think otherwise. Other than her Instagram bio, but I just didn’t see it. But anyway, nothing actually particularly happened at this first night that we were hanging out, everything was very friendly, we went our separate ways, and that was the end of the first night.

Then the second time that we hung out was the next night after this. So we wake up the next day, we do vidcon stuff, after we’re done that’s the final day of vidcon, so vidcon is now technically over but we have one more night at the hotel before we need to leave next morning. And actually at this point I actually had a friend that I’d only known online meet up with me for the first time. And the whole time I had known him he had lived in a different country, he was actually living in Japan. And I told him I was going to vidcon and he actually just happened to be in California at the same date so the dates aligned and we made plans to meet up.

[Image 6. Screenshots of a text conversation between George and his friend. They will be referred to as G and F. Texts read:

G- I think you’re probably good to come but possibly if we go somewhere you won’t be able to get in and that would be an L lol

I have an extra bed in my room so you can stay extra if you want (winky face emoji)

I’m busy until like 5pm but should be good after that

F- Fuck yea ill be there sat

End image 6 ID.]

Now, he arrived early evening, I think it was around 5-6 pm. We were just hanging out in my room. Dream messaged me “I’m bored”, “can you come to my room, let’s hang out” essentially.

[Image 7. Screenshots of texts between Dream and George. Texts read:

Dream – or we can do something else rn

George – I have my friend with me

Japanese guy from TeamSpeak lol

lmd what we do

Dream – who’re you with now

George – Just my friend

Dream – are you just in your room

George – Yeah

Dream – do you wanna come to mine

1607

End image 7 ID.]

That’s what we did; me and my friend, that I just met- physically, I mean I knew him online- went up to Dream’s room and we were hanging out. And again, the same scenario happens from the night before. They are trying to get him to go out to another party that they were at, and same story, Dream didn’t wanna go but was open to them coming here.

[Image 8. Screenshots of a text conversation. Two people’s names are censored by red and blue bars, but Dream is presumably person being texted. Texts read:

Red – clay.

i can’t believe you didn’t come.

this is devastating.

Dream – the ops are here

are you still there

Blue -L

come

End image 8 ID.]

And again, that is what happened. This time, the friends were actually all able to get in, I don’t know how they did it. But Caitie, her best friend, and three other of her friends ended up coming to the room which had me, Dream, and my online friend that I’d just met. So eight people total in this room at this point.

This night was very similar to the one before, we were just hanging out, playing games, drinking, and just having a good time. There’s another thing I wanna point out before I continue with the rest of the story, it’s the way that she phrases some things in her story. Instead of saying that her and the rest of her friends had wanted to come to the hotel to come hang out with us, she said that one friend was invited by Dream but she didn’t want to go alone. So then they decided to go along with her because they were willing to go anywhere.

[Image 9. A screenshot of a series of texts between someone censored by a red bar and the person receiving the texts, presumably Dream. The first person will be nicknamed Red for brevity.

Dream - could you borrow a pass or two

Red – YES

[censored] JUST GOT ONE

LMFAOOO

Dream – try and get one for [censored]

Red – on a mission

(Saluting emoji)

End image 9 ID.

I just think that it’s important to know already that their story is slightly different from the reality of it and I’ll be mentioning this a few more times throughout the rest of the story.

[Image 10. Screenshots between four people; three are censored with light blue, red, and blue respectively, and the last is receiving the messages, presumably Dream. They will be nicknamed L, R and B respectively for brevity.

L – we’ll keep u updated if they removed the barriers

R – clay i need to piss SO BAD so whatever we are doing

we gotta speedrun it

B – that might be easier for us to get them in

HAHAHHA

Dream – yeah it’ll be quick

End image 10 ID.]

[Image 11. Screenshot of a single text censored by read. It reads [censored] and caiti coming back to hyatt. End image 11 ID.]

[Image 12. Screenshot of a text conversation between five people, four censored by different colors and the receiver, Dream. They will be nicknamed red, blue, green and light blue (R, B, G and L) for the sake of brevity. Texts read:

R – 13 min

our guy is speeding (skull emoji)

B – LMAOO

Dream – you guys are going to the parking lot, or where? we need to discretely give [censored light blue] a pass

R – idek

G – lets strat

L – kewl sounds splendid to me

G – good shit ok

R – my GOAT

Last text is cut off slightly. End image 12 ID.]

You can see in these screenshots from their texts at the time that they were all trying to come to the hotel and it wasn’t just “oh, we need to follow her” essentially. They were all in the groupchat, and part of the discussion to go to the hotel.

I also chose to mention my online friend, it doesn’t add to the story but she never chose to mention him or the eight person [at this point the words “she actually didn’t mention the 6th, 7th, or 8th person” appear on screen.] that she brought with. So, I’m just saying it because that’s how it happened, and I want to make sure the story’s straight.

Another thing that she talks about is how I insisted that she drinks more and that we insisted on playing drinking games when this isn’t the case. Again, they’d already been drinking at this party before they arrived to the hotel room, and they’d also been the ones that were asking to play the drinking games. Instead of us insisting that we play it, they were the ones that were asking us. And you can see that in the screenshots here.

[Image 13 ID. Screenshot of a text conversation between someone censored in red, Dream, and caiti. Texts read:

Red – clay what was that app you were using for the most likely to game

Dream – it’s my secret app that you can only access on my phone with me

ya know

Red – WOWWWW

caiti – stfu

i’ll find it

red – okay we’re going to the hotel right now to steal ur phone u fuck

caiti – (screenshot of the app Most Likely To)

End of image 13 ID.]

They actually texted multiple times, specifically wanting to play this drinking game that we’d played the night before.

[Image 14. Screenshot of a single text reading “wanna play that game from last night”. End image 14 ID.]

And at this point I was pretty drunk and so was basically everyone in this room. It was the last night of vidcon, vidcon’s a pretty stressful time, and honestly a lot of people are happy when it’s over. Not that they didn’t like it, but it’s just a stressful event, there’s a lot that you have to do, and when it’s over you’re just happy and you wanna celebrate.

So at this point we then move to the couch, there was a couch in the room, and I sit next to caiti. She also says looking back on the scenario that she confused her nerves for excitement when I sat next to her, but again at this moment in time everything was friendly, nothing sexual’d happened, I’m just literally sitting next to her on a couch. And during this she was laughing, smiling, gave no indication that she was uncomfortable with me sitting this close to her.

She also mentions that she was thinking about my age and that I was a lot older than her, again she was 18 and I was 26 at the time, and again to clarify I actually didn’t know how old she was, despite her claiming that I did just because it was in her bio. And it was clear to everyone there that she was not uncomfortable with me sitting next to her.

And eventually two of the people that came to the hotel room left. Then it was just down to me, Dream, my online friend, caiti, caiti’s best friend, and a 6th mutual friend. Next she says, this is a quote, “resorted to playing games on her phone to avoid the awkward situation”. Now I just don’t see how this is the case. She’s implying that she’s using her phone to essentially escape, y’know, such an awkward scenario that she’s in but that’s just not how it happened. And this is why. She brought up the phone game as a kind of a point. The game was a, honestly the central point of the interaction at this part of the night.

It was a very social thing, y’know, she was moving, passing the phone around, we’re all playing the game, and bantering about it, just having fun with the game. So I don’t see how she resorted to it and was using it in that context. She wasn’t being awkward at all, there was no sense of uncomfortablility from her, she was laughing and playing with everyone. And yeah, I’m not really sure why she phrased it like this.

[Image 15. Three images of George playing the game that they were playing at the party, his score, and a text of the image of him sent to caiti. End image 15 ID.]

We actually continued to send each other high score updates even weeks after the event. To add further context to this moment, we were all actually sitting on this couch in the hotel room playing this game on her phone. And during this, me and caiti were at the far end of the couch, we were cuddling together. We had been cuddling for, I’d say around an hour, at this point. Playing the game, talking, and just having fun. And for clarity I had my hand around her waist above her butt. So with her statement where she’s saying that she was resorting to playing games on her phone I just don’t really understand it and I think that the picture that she’s painting is really dark when in reality she seemed very happy with the situation. Just having a good time.

I also wanna address the fact that she claimed that confirmed that I would know her age, she said that she had answered a question about her age during a drinking game, that we were talking about sex and that she’d admitted to everyone in the room that she was 18 and a virgin at the time. I just don’t remember this happening, I’m not saying this to justpretend like it didn’thappen, I did not hear it happen. We’re not just all sitting down and not moving, you know, it’s a chaotic environment, I could’ve been getting a drink, I could’ve been talking to someone else, I just did not know that that was said.

Another quote from her stream I wanna address, she said “there was more alcohol in the room and we were encouraged to drink some more as they offered the bottles to us. They said they would join us in drinking and insisted on drinking games.” They had already been drinking before they arrived, they were drunk. And the way this is phrased makes us out to look like we’re kind of preying on them, and like forcing them to drink when they didn’t want to. When that’s not the case and as I mentioned earlier, they were even the ones asking to play the drinking games by the texts, before they even arrived.

But then this is when her most important claim happens, I’m just gonna read the quote, she says “Out of nowhere I felt him slipping his hand into my clothes, sitting next to him on the couch, in front of everyone. He disguised it with a simple ‘are you ticklish’, I coughed out a ‘no’ still staring at my phone. I was overly aware of the fact that we were in front of other people. The fact that everyone else was sitting around us, watching us, including my best friend, that his hand was inching further to places I hadn’t asked it to be.” Again, as I mentioned before, we’d previously been cuddling on this couch, for around an hour. But I did place my hand on her waist under her shirt. The way it was phrased makes it sound like it just happened out of nowhere when in reality we’d been cuddling for over an hour at this point and it was not out of nowhere.

It was also around until I started moving my hand further up and the way it’s phrased makes it seem like it happened pretty instantly and pretty quickly. There was nothing quick about it, it was very slow, and I was very cautious about it and making sure she was comfortable throughout the process. Me and caiti were very touchy, very cuddly, and very slowly got more intimate. I’ve always been overly cautious with consent and this is not just because I’m a creator. I’ve been like this since before I was a creator and I think this is just the way I am, just the way it should be. Nothing came out of nowhere, everything progressed very slowly, throughout the night. And also before I continue I wanna make it clear that the furthest anything ever got was under the shirt touching and cuddling.

Obviously people don’t typically ask if everything is okay, even such as touching someone on the waist under their shirt before they do it. But in this case I was extremely slow and she was engaging with me the entire time, laughing, cuddling with me, and even playfully fighting me through the game that we were playing. The quote that she said, “he disguised it with a simple ‘are you ticklish’, I coughed out a ‘no’”. She’s implying that I, with malicious intent, touched her and ‘she coughed out a no’ would imply that I should be able to tell that she was uncomfortable with it. She says “Later, he made it a game out of my embarrassment, where he would touch me in certain areas to make me lose the game I was playing.” Now, I actually remember this quite vividly, I remember she was playing the game and there were parts where it would be very easy to lose if you were distracted; and she’s right, I did do that. There were points where she was playing the game and there were points where it was easy for her to mess up, and I would tickle her, or like squeeze her and when I did this she would laugh, she would turn around and smile at me, or she would play-fight with me because I’d just made her lose the game.

She also says how, quote, “I didn’t speak or move, I remember being afraid to even breathe. I stayed there for a while hoping my stillness could make me disappear.” Now to reiterate, any time that I did this it was met with her either smiling, laughing, play-fighting with me, and there was no reason for me to believe that she was uncomfortable with it. She was not ‘not moving’, she was not ‘not speaking’. Of course, I don’t believe that silence is consent. I just want to make sure it is abundantly clear. She was visibly and physically responding well to everything that we were doing.

I also want to comment on how she said that she had to stand up after many minutes for it to stop. She did get up, multiple times, throughout the night, for example to go to the bathroom, to get a drink, also when her friends left she got up to say goodbye to them, and she would come back to the same scenario.

I also want to point out that her best friend was here throughout this whole… process, then afterwards he had to leave. And I think it is important to know that she made the choice to stay behind many hours more, and as I mentioned before, she did get up, say goodbye to them, and came back. They were even talking about staying up to 11 am which was the checkout time of the hotel, and because it was the final day we were like “oh I don’t know we wanna go to sleep for a few hours, might as well just stay up.” But that was not what ended up happening, and it’s at this time that caiti says, this is a quote, “I went to leave and the older guy then decided to leave too”. This is phrased in a way that makes me out to look kinda creepy, to be honest. She’s basically saying she left, so I decided to leave too, which is not the case. What actually happened is Dream had decided he was too tired and was going to bed, so the night was over and we all left.

She then goes on to tell a story about the elevator, and how I joked about it being broken to try to get her to go in with me. So caiti actually had her own hotel room on the same floor as Dream, so she actually walked over straight to the elevator when she didn’t have to, and said goodbye to me, which was nice of her. I did joke with her about coming in the elevator by pretending it was broken, I essentially went in to the elevator, the doors closed, and I would press the doors open button to make them open again. I did this a few times, and she didn’t go along with it, which I respect took, and I ended up going down to my room. She didn’t have to take the elevator yet she chose to walk with me to the elevator to say goodnight to me, which I think is interesting given how she’s saying how she was so upset with it.

But I also think these are comments of her looking back on the night and not her actual feelings at the time, and that’s essentially the end of the story, that’s what, she, the last time I’ve seen her in person was after those elevator doors closed.

We messaged for a bit after, through insta dms and snapchat and the way we talked to each other was pretty banterous, for example after the first time that we hung out but before the second she actually texted me and said “you better not be in Dream’s room tonight or I’m gonna shoot your leg”. Obviously she’s not gonna shoot my leg, we’re just messing around with each other. And I actually responded to her and said “guess what well I’m actually here right now”.

[Image 16. A single screenshot, timestamped for 3:31 AM. It reads: me [censored] and caiti coming back to hyatt. End image 16 ID.]

[Image 17. A screenshot of texts between caiti and George, timestamped for JUN 25 at 3:36 AM. Texts read:

caiti – if u come to dreams hotel again tonight i’m shooting ur leg

so don’t

George – Oh awkward

I’m in his room now

You’re not gunna do shit

The last message has been reacted to with a thumbs down. End image 17 ID.]

And yeah, after this we texted for a bit, sometimes daily, sometimes we would take a few days break, even a few weeks at some point. And at some point after vidcon we were actually both in London at the same time, and she let me know this through her DMs.

[Image 18. A screenshot of messages between caiti and George. Texts read:

George – (image of caiti’s contact. Underneath are the words “Business chat”. A Book now button appears.)

Stfu business

I can literally book you (skull emoji)

Caiti – WHAT

yeah i’m gonna need $10 bucks for this convo

please and thanks

George – I wouldn’t even pay $0.01 for this stupid conversation

You are a BAD business

caiti – yet your still here talking to my ass

dickhead

End image 18 ID.]

Now I will say she didn’t come out outright and say “I’m in London” but she did say that she’d gone to a place that was known to be a London thing, and I commented on that and asked her what she was doing in London.

[Image 19 ID. A screenshot of texts between caiti and George. Texts read:

George – You can’t say dickhead

That’s only for English people to say

Caiti – i just drank at spoons last night

I’d say i’m British enough

George – Oh shit maybe your are British wtf

Well I drank at Simmons bar last night and you probably don’t even know what that is so you’re less British than me

What are you doing in England

Caiti - rue said simmons bar was gay so.. awkward

and i’m living life!! The British way

parting cubbing.. etc

George - Using gay as insult

Typical from stupid business like u (rolling eyes emoji)

End image 19 ID.]

Just to clarify we did not meet up while in London nor make plans to do so. It was always extremely friendly to me, I was friendly to her, and honestly I was shocked to hear her say the things that she did say during her stream.

When I first opened up her stream it was after she’d already streamed it but not long after, so people hadn’t yet made the connection that it was connected to me, and when watching it I was like, I was actually interested in it, I was like okay, what’s this gonna be about? And then when she started saying more and more details I realized wait, this is about me. I was very, very confused, very shocked, and didn’t quite know what to think given I had no impression of any wrongdoing throughout this whole relationship that I had with her. Not at all, it was, if anything it was the opposite. I thought we had a pretty good relationship.

Despite the fact that we actually hadn’t talked in a while, I thought if I’d seen her in real life again, everything would be fine and we would be friends. It was actually around this point after vidcoin was finished that we were messaging and I found out her age. And since than I never pursued anything going forward, and essentially stopped messaging her. Our last message was august 1st, 2023 and I haven’t replied to her since then.

[Image 20. Screenshot of texts between caiti and George. Texts read:

George – (Image that reads “Your inquiry is pending”, scheduled for 2028)

Ok I scheduled an appointment for my next available time slot

See you then (thumbs up emoji)

caiti (sent at august 1st) – (two fuck you emojis). (Edited are the words “sarcasm” with an arrow pointed to the emojis.)

End image 20 ID.]

After I watched her stream I was pretty confused, I didn’t understand how her account of the story had been so different from what actually happened. A lot of the facts of what she said just didn’t happen at all, or were phrased in ways that just made me look as bad as possible. Saying things like “I insisted on her playing drinking games”, or that “she was frozen in place”, or that she was scared. She was having fun, she was enjoying herself, she was saying this with her body language, with the way that she smiled, with the way that she laughed, and just her overall general demeanor.

One thing that I think is very important to differentiate in here is that I do believe that she regrets being affectionate with me, and that really does make me feel terrible, I never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or regret their interactions with me, or anything along those lines. Regardless of if it’s sexual or not, I am truly, really sorry if I’ve contributed towards that. But it’s important to differentiate that she was uncomfortable with this after the fact and not during. She says, quote, “at the time, I convinced myself that I was lucky. I was lucky that it had happened to me. I was exited to be around such big creators, to be at that convention in general”. I actually had a similar scenario to this, where I was in a sexual, I had a sexual experience with someone where in the moment, I was perfectly happy with it happening but afterwards I regretted it. And I’m not saying this to get any form of sympathy, I’m not looking for that, that is not the case at all, I’m just simply saying this because I can see this similarities in the situation.

Now, I’m not mad at the person I was in this situation with at all, I have no negative thoughts on them, I simply did not like how it ended up and if I could go back and not do it, I wouldn’t have. I wanted to do it in the moment but then changed my mind later. Which is completely valid, you’re completely allowed to feel that way. But what isn’t okay and I feel is completely unfair is to act as if I am the bad person in this scenario because you changed your mind later.

I also want to separate this from abuse and certain scenarios that other people have dealt with recently or just in general. I think it’s completely fine to come to terms with your abuse over time and realize that it was bad for you and a terrible situation to be in and then look badly back on that person. That is completely valid but this is completely different. Again, this all happened within a four hour period, three-four hour period and I was not given any signs of discomfort, unhappiness or anything along those lines. And again, it was the opposite of that. She was happy, she was smiling, she was laughing, and as far as I know everyone else in the room would’ve thought the same at the time.

So now what I’m thinking is why would she come out and say it like this, why is she saying this. Now I don’t think that she’s purposefully being malicious, or trying to hurt me, or ruin my career or anything like that. What I do think is that she is surrounded by a friend group that completely despises me and my friend group. And this is quite a specific scenario that probably doesn’t happen that much, especially in public, so it’s kind of weird, it’s kind of hard to talk about it. But I think after vidcon she, obviously told some of her friends about what happened, whether or not that was in a negative connotation I do not know, I wasn’t part of these conversations of course, but she fully told them about this scenario. And when these people who are around you all completely despise me and my friends, they’re obviously going to look on this poorly.

To add context in all of this she actually mentions in her stream, I’ll just quote it, “I remember a friend seeing me in the lobby on the way and they were worried about the way I was acting and asked if I was okay. I was really drunk and it was really feeling like they could sense something was wrong.” Now, this person is in caiti’s friend group, and they were concerned that a group of 5 people were going up to Dream’s room to join up 3 additional people. Which is an interesting concern to have, I actually heard from another source that overheard this conversation and thought it was quite strange that she was worried this. I think it feels very likely that after 8 months of you being around friends that hate me and my friends and are constantly talking badly about us publicly as well and privately, don’t know what they say privately but can’t be any better than what they say publicly, obviously that is going to affect the way that you look at that experience. And it’s going to make you look at it a bit differently, you’re going to second guess it, you’re going to be thinking about it, and clearly it changed the way that she thought about it. And I think it’s completely unfair to judge me and my actions based on how you feel about it now, 8 months later, vs how you feel about it at the time. Because at the time, you were not uncomfortable with it, and I know I’m repeating myself a million times but I have to, you were smiling, happy, laughing, playing along with it, everythting.

And that’s all I really have to say on the matter. Still keep supporting victims.

#georgenotfound #this is to provide info if you come to me for opinions or say shit i dislike in tags you're getting banned #transcription

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johnsbleu · 2 years ago

Text

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 154

warnings: nsfw

The plan was to go to Paris for Valentine’s day, but you and John decided that since Ronan was having such bad separation anxiety, it was best to put the trip on hold for a few months until things calmed down a little. You were a little bummed at first, but you’re excited to go now that it’s so warm! The flowers will be in bloom, people will be sitting on the sidewalks in front of cafes, and you won’t be cold all the time.

You’ve already been researching what it’ll be like in Paris during the month of May, and so far it’s just up your alley. The temperatures are nice, just a little below 70 on average, but the sun will be warm while you explore the streets and beautiful gardens, and all the typical touristy locations that you’re dying to see for the first time. You’re not a world traveler like Mr. Wick.

Your flight leaves tomorrow afternoon, so you’ll be in Paris pretty late tomorrow night. You don’t know how well you’re going to do when you have to leave Ronan, but you’re just trying to be strong since she’ll know if you’re upset.

This will be the first time you’re leaving her for more than a night or two, and you’re beyond nervous for it. You’re worried that she’ll revert back to when her separation anxiety was at its highest when you don’t come back to get her. You’re worried that you’ll be sick to your stomach by the end of the second day that you’ll be begging to go home and it’ll piss off John--you know deep down that it won’t, but you still worry. You’re really just trying to stay strong right now. Keyword is trying.

Ronan is currently sitting on a blanket with you under the tree while John plants some flowers in the pots on the patio, but she keeps crawling over to see him. She managed to crawl over to him when neither of you were watching, and she got a handful of dirt that went directly into her mouth. You expected her to cry when she got a taste of it, but she only giggled while you and John frantically grabbed water to wash out her mouth. She’s a hearty baby. A true Wick.

You’re scrolling through your iPad and looking at some cute places to check out when you get to Paris, and you look up when you hear John laughing.

“Well, I see you managed to eat some dirt again.” John laughs, wiping his hands on his jeans before he reaches over for Ronan. He kisses her cheek a few times and groans as he stands up, then he walks over to you, “Look at this bug.”

You smile as you prop your head on your hand and look at John when he sits down, “Eating dirt again?”

Ronan giggles loudly when John tickles her sides, and you get up to kiss her cheek. You smile at John and kiss him, and he leans over again for another kiss before he gets some water to clean the dirt of Ronan’s mouth.

“I would hug you, but I’m dirty.”

“I see that,�� you laugh, pointing at the dirty handprints on Ronan’s dress as John grimaces, and you smile as you look at Ronan and talk in your mom-voice, “Well, it’s a good thing momma bought the laundry detergent that gets out stains, huh? Yeah!”

John laughs, “That mom-voice.”

“Ro loves it,” you tease, then you stick your tongue out at John.

Taking a deep breath, John lays down and places his head in your lap, then he smiles when you run your fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp. He slowly closes his eyes and smiles, then he looks down at Ronan when she crawls over to lay on his chest.

“Can you believe that tomorrow we’ll be in Paris?”

You laugh, “Yeah, at almost 1 in the morning.”

“But we’ll still be in Paris.” John laughs, and you smile before leaning down to kiss him. “I figured once we’re there, we might as well just head to the house and crash for the night. Wake up in the morning, shower, go grab some breakfast. I know a good place.”

“Of course you do.” you whisper as you lean down to kiss him again.

John places his hand on the back of your head to keep you from moving away from his lips, and he pulls you down a little more to kiss you with more passion. You press small kisses to his lips and smile, then you sit up and look at Ronan fast asleep next to John.

“Look at her,” you whisper, then you grab your sweatshirt and fold it up before you place it under John’s head. You crawl over to lay down next to him and Ronan, and you wrap your arm over the two of them. “She’s so in love with you.”

“I’m pretty in love with her too.” John smiles, then he rolls onto his side and places his hand on your hip.

You smile as you look down at her and rub your thumb against her plump cheek, “She stole my man, but that’s okay.”

John laughs as he looks at you, “Nah, your man is still obsessed with you. Even more so now seeing you as a mom. You’re such a good mom.”

“Don’t do this,” you laugh as you tear up, “You know I’ll cry.”

“Bug is so lucky to have you, peach.” he whispers, and you bite your cheek as you sniffle, “And I am too. Can’t ever get over how lucky I am to call you my wife. You’re such an amazing and kind woman, and I can’t wait to see how that’ll rub off on our daughter.”

You laugh as you wipe away the tear on your cheek, then you sit up to kiss John, “I love you. She’s very lucky to have you as a dad too. We’re both very lucky to have you in our lives.”

“What a lucky man I am,” John says as he pulls you closer, then he looks down at Ronan asleep between the two of you, “She’s gonna be okay this week.”

Nodding your head, you look up at John, “I’m just gonna miss her.”

“I am too,” John nods, then he smiles, “Before you know it, she’ll be back in our arms.”

“Yeah,” you nod, then you sigh a little, “I wish she could experience Paris with us though.”

John laughs, “We’ll bring a croissant and beret home for her.”

“I can’t wait to hear you speaking French all week.” you smile, and John scoffs as he looks up at the sky. “Teach me how to say...”

“Bonjour,” John says, and he laughs when you give him a blank stare. “That means ‘hello’.”

“I know common words, you dork.” you laugh, then you roll over to your stomach. “I think you can do the talking this week though.”

John chuckles, “You just like when I speak French, huh?”

“And Italian. The way it just rolls off your tongue is very sexy.” you laugh, leaning over to kiss him. “I love you.”

“Je t'aime, mon amour.” John whispers, and you smile as you lean over to kiss him.

Sitting on your mom’s couch, you hold Ronan tight in your arms and kiss her cheek over and over, desperately trying to keep a grip on her even though she’s kicking her legs to be put down. You finally let go of her and watch as she crawls over to play with her bucket of toys, and you feel your throat burn as you start to tear up.

“Yeah, I made sure to put all of that stuff in her bag.” John says, and you look up at him, “You have a key to the house if you need to get anything. I bought a new bag of dog food for Bleu, so you should be set for him all week. Uh, is there anything else I’m forgetting?”

You shake your head as you get up, “No, I think that’s everything.”

“Oh, sweetheart, she’ll be okay.” your mom smiles as she hugs you, “You and Jonathan need some time alone, and it’ll go by so fast.”

“I hope.” you joke, and John smiles softly. You sigh as you look over at Ronan sitting on the floor, then you shrug, “I know it’ll be nice for us to just be together, but I won’t lie, I am going to miss my baby girl.”

John reaches down for Ronan and hugs her tight in his arms, then he leans back and puckers his lips. You smile when Ronan gives John a kiss and a huge hug, then you wipe away the tear on your cheek.

“I love you,” John whispers as Ronan babbles and drools, then he kisses her again before handing her over to you.

“I love you so, so, so much, baby girl.”

You hug Ronan tight and close your eyes, and you open them to see John quickly wiping away a tear. He sniffles a little when you look at him, and he walks over to hug both of you. Seeing you cry obviously upsets him.

You can’t hold it in anymore, so you cry a little harder as you hold Ronan. You lean back and smooth her hair away from her face, then you kiss her cheek several times before you pucker your lips to get a kiss from her. You hug her once more and inhale her sweet little baby smell, then you put her on the ground and walk away to keep yourself from completely falling apart.

“I’ll let you know when we get there.” John says to your mom, then he leans down to kiss the top of Ronan’s head. “We love you. We’ll see you soon.”

“Have fun, you two. Bye! Love you!”

John smiles as he waves at your mom, “Love you, bye.”

“Love you, mom.” you smile, then you look at Ronan, “I love you, bug!”

Ronan waves her hand as she looks at you, then she looks back at her toys and continues to play. To Ronan, this is just a little sleepover at her Grandma’s and she’ll see you tomorrow, so you’re just hoping she’ll be okay when you don’t show up to get her.

“Come on, baby.” John says softly as he takes your hand, then he leads you out the door and to the car. He opens the door for you to get in, then he shuts it and quickly gets in the driver’s side. He places his hand on your thigh and squeezes it to get your attention, “You still want to go, right?”

“Of course I want to go, babe.” you say as you nod, then you let out a small laugh, “I’m just gonna miss our daughter. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend some time in fucking Paris with my husband.”

John smiles, leaning over to kiss you, “It’ll be fun.”

“We got a flight to catch, Wick.”

“Right!” John laughs, then he starts the car and smiles at you, “You’re gonna look so good in Paris.”

The flight was long and tiring, and the moment you got into your hotel, which is more like an apartment, for the week, you and John instantly crashed. You didn’t even get up in the night to pee. You slept straight through the night, which is a little usual for you. Mostly because you usually have to get up to feed Ronan or change her.

You look over at John and smile as he peeks his eyes open, then you lean over to kiss him, “I’m gonna go pee and explore this place.”

“It’s just a hotel…” John laughs as he rubs his hands over his face. “We’ve been in hotels before.”

“Yeah, but I need to explore it! There’s an entire top floor that needs to be explored!” you get up from the bed and smile when John looks over at you and raises his eyebrow. His sleepy face is just too cute, so you crawl back into bed and flop down as he lays on top of you and kisses you.

John hums against your lips, then he smiles as he moves his hand up your thigh to the waistband of your underwear, “I think maybe we should--”

“Yeah, you’re not even gonna need to convince me.” you laugh, pulling your nightgown off before you cup his face and kiss him, “I’m having sex in Paris!”

You and John laughed through your entire shower since he insisted on showering with you. The problem was that the shower was definitely not intended for two people to be in at once. John didn’t care. He scrunched in behind you and laughed as the two of you fumbled to move around one another. He did kiss you every time you turned around to rinse your hair out, so that was a bonus!

“Ya know, I guess I’m realizing I take advantage of our shower at home.” you say as you pull your towel off and put on some underwear, “I love showering with you, but I think that’ll be the last time we shower together while we’re here.”

John laughs as he looks up at you, “Nah, I’ll scoot in there with you tomorrow too.”

“I bet.” you laugh, walking over to your suitcase to find what to wear today.

“It’s pretty warm today.” John says, then he looks over at the curtains that are still drawn over the window. “I haven’t opened those yet because I want to see your reaction when I do.”

You look up at him and smile, “It’s right there, isn’t it?”

“We’re not right next to it, but yes…” John gets up and walks over to kiss you, “The Eiffel Tower is pretty close.”

Since it’s a little warmer out, you settle on a denim romper and some comfortable shoes for walking, then you grab your makeup bag and put a little on before you fix your hair. After getting ready for the day, you walk into the bedroom and laugh when John whistles at you.

“You look so beautiful,” John smiles as he pulls you between his legs, “All mine.”

You cup John’s face as you lean down to kiss him, then you run your fingers through his hair, “Handsome.”

“You ready to see the view?” he asks, and you nod your head as you smile.

“View isn’t so bad in here,” you say, and he scoffs as he pats your behind a few times.

John gets up and walks over to the balcony doors, then he opens the doors and reaches for your hand. You smile at him as you walk over, then you gasp when you finally see the Eiffel Tower. The view of the Paris skyline is absolutely perfect, and it almost brings a tear to your eye. The sunrise is absolutely beautiful this morning.

Sure, it might be cliche, or even a little lame, but it’s genuinely stunning and beautiful. You really never thought in a million that you’d be seeing it with your very own eyes.

John wraps his arms around you and hugs you, “What do you think?”

“It’s beautiful,” you smile as you look at it, then you look around at the balcony, “Can we order dinner and eat it out here tonight?”

“Of course!” John smiles as he nods, then he walks over and leans against the railing, “It’s so beautiful here.”

You lean against John’s shoulder, wrapping your arm around his waist, “Have you been here before?”

“Remember when I said after Helen died, I was kind of all over the place?” he asks as he looks at you, and you nod your head, “This was just one stop. One…big stop.”

You bite your cheek as you look out at the gorgeous garden in front of your hotel, and you see several people taking pictures with their families near the colorful flowers. You look over at the Eiffel Tower again and feel John moving so he can wrap his arms around you.

Obviously you know how hard things were for John, and he tells you that he’s fine and he’s living a great life, but you can’t help but get a little emotional when you think about how much John has gone through.

“Stop thinking about it,” he laughs, and you sniffle before he leans down to look at you, “Peach!”

“I’m sorry!” you laugh as you wipe away your tears, then you turn around and look at him, “How can I not get emotional when you tell me these things? You’re my favorite person to ever exist, you’re the kindest and most gentle man I’ve ever met, you deserve every good thing that life has to offer, and I don’t like hearing about how bad things were for you because you don’t deserve that!”

John sighs as he nods, “I know, baby.”

“And it’s just such a contrast--your life then and your life now.”

John nods proudly, “I’m aware. I have a great life now with my two girls. I have a great life now because of my two girls, but mostly because of you. I wouldn’t have this life if it weren’t for you, peach. I owe everything to you.”

You wrap your arms around John’s neck and kiss him deeply as he holds you, then you lean back and look at him. He looks over the top of your head at the Eiffel Tower, then he pushes you back and gets his phone from his pocket.

“Oh, no, it’s started.” you laugh as you stand near the railing, “Dad’s got his camera out.”

John laughs as he holds his phone up to take a picture of you, “Get used to it!”

John is finding your excitement for Paris to be very amusing, and he’s been laughing at you every two minutes when you gasp over something. The two of you grabbed some coffee and pastries at a little cafe down the street from your hotel, then you decided to explore.

“You look good in Paris, Mr. Wick.” you say, looking over at him and checking him out, “Wow-wee! If I was single, I’d ask you out! Hubba, hubba!”

John tilts his head back as he laughs, then he looks at you and squeezes your hand, “I gotta keep an eye on you! You might fall under some Frenchman’s charm, and I can’t allow that!”

“Never!” you laugh as you lean up to kiss him, tasting the sweetness of a pastry on his lips. “I fell very hard for your charm, babe. Still am.”

“Ah, that’s so reassuring.” John says, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, and you let out a laugh. “I would die if I lost you.”

You smile softly as you look up at him, “Well, good thing you’re not losing me. Ronan needs her daddy and I need my husband!”

John leans down to kiss you again, then he happily takes the bit of pastry you’re offering him. He reaches for your hand again as the two of you walk down the street, and you smile when you walk past several people. You let out a small laugh when you realize they probably can take one look at you and realize that you’re a tourist.

“Should we go to the Eiffel Tower and FaceTime our bug?” John asks, and you nod your head.

You can see the Eiffel Tower peaking through trees as you and John get closer, and you practically dragging him down the street so you can see it, which is quite the change since usually you struggle to keep up with John’s long legs. John laughs as you pull his hand a little more, then he wraps his arm around your waist to keep you from getting lost in the thick crowds of people hovering around the Eiffel Tower.

“Look at how big it is!” you say, putting your hand up to block the sun as you lean back, “It’s huge!”

John laughs when you look over at him, “It is.”

“So immature, Jonathan.” you joke, playfully rolling your eyes.

“I didn’t say anything!” he laughs, then he gets his phone out, “Let me take your picture, baby.”

You smile as you stand there and wait for John to get a little further away to take your picture, then you laugh when he gives you the thumbs up to pose. You let John get a couple of shots of you before you wave him over so he can take a picture with you.

“Should we call our baby? It’s…” John looks down at his watch and nods, “It’s about five there. She should be getting ready for bed soon, so we might want to call now.”

“Yeah.” you nod, then you sit down on the bench with John and get your phone out so you can FaceTime your mom. You lean over to kiss his cheek, then you perk up when your mom answers hers. “Hi!”

Your mom waves as she smiles, “Hi! How’s it going? Oh, wow…”

“The Eiffel Tower,” John smiles as he holds up the phone so she can get a better look, “We’re not this close to it at our hotel, but it’s a pretty short walk down to it.”

“Nice walk too when you have coffee and pastries!” you say, then you smile, “Is Ro awake?”

Your mom nods as she sets the phone up, then she walks over and picks up Ronan. She kisses her cheek and sits down at the table to place her in her lap, then she points at the camera while you and John wave like an idiots at her.

“Hi, baby!” John smiles, waving at her, and you wave at her and blow a kiss when Ronan wiggles around in your mom’s arms. “Has she been good?”

“Oh, of course.” your mom laughs, looking down at Ronan, “She’s getting her second solid in a little bit before she gets a bath and gets ready for bed. Tess wants to come take her tomorrow, so she’ll probably come get her around noon. You knew that, right?”

You nod when John looks over at you, “I did! She told me the other day that she wanted to watch her one day while we were gone.”

“Okay, just wanted to make sure.”

“Her anxiety hasn’t been bad, has it?”

Your mom shakes her head as a smile spreads on her face, “She’s been so good, sweetheart. Barely cried at all. She cried a little this afternoon but she was just tired. You know how happy your bug is. She’s doing great.”

John is still smiling and waving at Ronan as you and your mom talk about how she’s been doing, and you smile when you see Ronan scrunch her face up and grunt.

“She’s poopin’.” John laughs, and you nod.

“We’ll let you go so you can change her.” you laugh, then you wave and blow kisses at Ronan, “Bye, sweetheart. We love you!”

John smiles as he waves, “Give her kisses and hugs for us, mom.”

“Oh, I will. She fell asleep on dad’s chest last night, and he’s been smothering her in love, so she’s definitely not lacking on any attention.” your mom laughs, and you smile at her. “I’m sure she misses her mom and dad. You’ll see her soon, baby, don’t cry.”

You nod as you wipe away the tear on your cheek, “I just hope she’s okay.”

“She is! We went to the park earlier with my friends and their grandkids, and we had so much fun!” she says, and you nod your head as John rubs your back. “She’s okay, sweetheart.”

“Text me later or send me pictures!” you say, then you wave, “Bye, mom! Bye, bug! Love you both.”

Your mom smiles as she holds up Ronan, “We love you two! Get someone to take your picture in front of the Eiffel Tower! Bye!”

John takes a deep breath as he hangs up with your mom, then he locks your phone and puts it back into your backpack. He wraps his arm around your waist and kisses the top of your head, then he smiles when you look at him.

“She’s okay.” he whispers as you nod, then you inhale deeply and sit up. He gently wipes away the tears on your cheek, then he kisses you. “Let’s get someone to take our picture.”

You nod as you wipe away the tears, then you look at him, “Does my makeup look okay?”

“You look beautiful.” John says, then he gets up and walks over to an older woman to ask if she’ll take a picture of you and him. She nods her head and takes John’s phone, then he walks over to you and wraps his arm around your waist. “Just snap as many as you want!”

The woman looks at the phone and smiles as she gets pictures of you and John in different poses, then she gestures for you to stand in front of John. He wraps his arms around you and holds you close to his chest as you smile, then he lets go to get the phone.

“Thank you so much.”

“Are you two newlyweds?” she asks as she hands the phone off to John.

John chuckles as he looks over at you, “No, we’ve been together almost three years, married for almost two, but we did just have a baby eight months ago.”

“Wow,” the woman looks over at you and smiles, “You two just seem so in love.”

“Well,” John gestures to you, “It’s easy to be in love with her.”

You smile as you look up at John, then you look at the woman, “He says stuff like that all the time, so it’s also pretty easy to be in love with him too.”

“That’s a very special thing you two have. Don’t ever let it fade.” she smiles, then she shakes your hand and John’s, “Take care.”

John smiles at her as she walks away, then he looks at you and shakes his head, “It’s never gonna fade, is it?”

“Never ever!” you smile, then you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him a few times, “Let’s keep exploring.”

John nods as he leans down to kiss you, then he takes your hand and holds tight to it as the two of you head down the street.

The past three days in Paris have been absolutely amazing! You and John have done so much walking, but it’s been great. You went to the Louvre Museum and got a chance to see the very famous Mona Lisa, which was a little surreal. You did most of the typical touristy stuff, but you loved every minute of it--John too!

One thing you always wanted to do in Paris was get some pastries and just sit in the park to have a picnic, and of course John made that happen. It was a gorgeous warm day, and it was fun to just sit in the park and soak up the sun with John, who actually laid down and fell asleep for about 45 minutes. Some rain clouds moved in a little bit later, so the two of you rushed back to your hotel and spent the night inside. It was a pretty great day though.

Leaning against the railing, you smile as you look out at the Eiffel Tower all lit up as it sparkles and twinkles. You’ve seen it lit up three nights now, but you’re still not used to it. It’s just an incredible breathtaking view that you’ll never get over. You certainly never thought you’d be in Paris, and you’re so grateful that John wants to bring you to visit these places around the world.

You feel John’s arms around your waist as you stand there, then you laugh when he begins to kiss your shoulder. He moves from your shoulder up to your neck, then he sucks on your skin and moves your hair out of the way. You close your eyes and hum as John’s left hand moves down to your thigh and up between your legs, then you laugh when he squeezes your breasts a few times.

Tilting your head back, you kiss John passionately and sloppily as he moans, and you shiver when his hand sneaks between your legs. He moves back to kiss your neck as you close your eyes, hearing him unbuckling his belt. He quickly unzips his pants and pulls himself out, then he lifts up your nightgown and pulls your underwear aside before he slowly slides between your legs.

John lets out a small moan as he slides in, “You’re already so wet for me…”

You tilt your head back and smile, running your tongue over your teeth, “Because you’re just so sexy.”

John smiles as he pushes himself in deeper, causing you to lean over the railing more, then he presses his hand to your mouth when your eyes roll shut. You hold onto tight to the railing as John thrusts his hips, and you moan into his hand when he picks up the speed.

Thankfully the balcony is private and there’s no one around.

Moaning softly against your back, John grips your hips and thrusts harder, causing the breath to get knocked out of you every time. He leans over you and pants against your neck, then he moves his hand into your underwear to rub your clit.

“Oh, fuck,” you laugh, letting out a small moan, “Fuck, you’re gonna make me come already. I’m sorry.”

John laughs, “I’m about to come too.”

Holding tight to your hips, John stands back up and fucks you faster and harder as you moan, then he lightly wraps his hand around your throat and tilts your head back to kiss you. You hold his gaze as he jerks his hips harder, then you moan against his lips.

“Look,” John nods to the Eiffel Towel and whispers in your ear, “You ever think you’d get to look at that while I fucked you?”

“No,” you laugh, then you close your eyes and moan, gripping the railing tighter, “Oh, shit, John!”

John leans over and kisses your neck as you moan, then he grunts and groans as he thrusts his hips fast. He wraps his arms around you tight and holds you in his arms, and you both tense up and let out moans as you come in unison, your bodies shaking from the aftershocks. You lean back over the railing as John kisses your back, then he pulls himself from your legs so you can get cleaned up quickly.

You waddle off to the bathroom to clean yourself up, then you grab a sweater and pull it on as you walk back outside to John, who is sitting on the love seat smiling at you. You laugh as you walk over and sit down with him, then you lay your legs over his lap and lean over to kiss him.

“Thank god for a private balcony.”

John laughs as he pulls you over to him, “How do you like Paris so far?”

“I like it a lot.” you nod, looking over at the Eiffel Tower, “I’m glad we came. It’s nice to just be with you. Just be husband and wife.”

“About that,” John says, and you look over at him as you widen your eyes and your heart sinks to your stomach, “Wait, wait, wait, that was terrible segue.”

Your eyes grow sad as he looks at you, and you gesture for him to keep going so he doesn’t leave you hanging and worrying about what he’s going to say.

“Baby, I love you. Do you really think we flew out here just so I could end things between us? Why would I do that to begin with? You make me so damn happy.” he says, then he looks away and blinks a few times when he gets a little choke up. “Fuck, I won’t lie, that breaks my heart that you think I’d just leave you like that. I’ll admit that was a terrible fucking segue.”

“It was really bad,” you laugh, then you smile when John reaches for your hand. “Plus we just had sex, so yeah, terrible timing as well.”

Taking a deep breath, John looks at you and smiles, “No bad segue this time. I love you so much, peach. I am beyond happy that I met you. Not only because you’ve given me such a beautiful daughter, but because you’ve made my entire life so damn beautiful. I know I tell you all the time how much I love you and how much you mean to me, so I won’t go into that. I just wanted to make sure that you know this trip wasn’t so you and I could get back what we had before Ronan was born--we still have what we had. I am still so crazy about you--so crazy. So if there’s any part of your brain that is saying that I only did this to try and recapture something, that’s absolutely not true. The spark that we have is still very much there.”

“I love you, you know that?” you say, and John smiles as he nods. “I love that you always take the time to remind me of how much you love me. And I feel the same way. I don’t want you to think I only said yes to this trip so we could get back what we had, because I agree--we still have it! I’m officially nuts about you, Jonathan.”

John laughs as he nods his head and leans over to kiss you, “I’m pretty nuts about you myself.”

“It’s so nice here, it really is.” you nod, looking around, “And I’ve had such an amazing time here these past three days. Spending time with you alone, shopping, eating every freaking pastry we’ve come across, it’s all been amazing.”

“But…”

You nod as you look down as you begin to cry, and he tilts your chin up and pulls you into his arms. He wraps his arms around you tight to hold you as you cry for few moments, then he leans down and kisses your forehead.

“Take your time, baby.” he whispers against your head, then he reaches down and rubs your thigh.

After a few moments, you sit up and wipe away the tears on your face before you look at him, “I miss her.”

“I do too, baby.” John nods, reaching over to smooth your hair away, “I know how hard this is for us to be away from her, and I know it’s even harder when we get to FaceTime and see her. It only makes us miss her more.”

“What if she says more words and we’re not there? What if she starts walking while we’re gone? I started walking at 9 months! She’s close!” you say, and John nods sympathetically before you groan, “Okay, I know that’s not going to happen. I just feel bad. She’s so little, and I don’t want her to think we just abandoned her.”

John chuckles softly, “Sweetheart, she doesn’t think that. She’s being smothered in love by your mom and dad right now. She probably doesn’t even notice that we’ve been gone.”

You nod your head as you look at him, “I know, and I know you’re right. I just miss her. I miss holding her in my arms and kissing her. She’s only been ours for 8 months, and I just feel bad for taking a whole week away from her. It’s like on one hand, I’m so fucking happy to be here with you alone, and I don’t regret this time at all. But on the other hand, I just miss her, and you’re her dad, so you get what I mean.”

“I get it,” John nods, “I feel guilty too about leaving her, but you know what? I’m not going to feel guilty about wanting to spend time with my wife without a baby clinging to her. I get it, baby. I miss her so much, and I wish she was here with us. We’re going to see her soon, and the reunion is going to be so sweet. Think about how cute her little smile is going to be when she sees you again.”

“True,” you nod, then you sigh loudly, “I know I’m just a little more sad about this because I’m tired tonight.”

John rubs your thigh and smiles, “Why don’t we head in for the night? Lay in bed and look out at this view until we fall asleep.”

“Yeah,” you nod as you get up and reach for John’s hand, then you smile at him, “Thank you for this amazing trip. Just because I’m a little sad tonight doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying it. I’m very much enjoying it, and I can’t wait for the rest of the week.”

“Yeah, I think you’re really going to love what I have planned.”

You cock up your eyebrow, “More sex on the balcony in full view of the Eiffel Tower? Because I really loved that.”

John laughs as he nods, “Yeah, I think we can squeeze that in one more time before we leave.”

John has kept an insanely tight lip on what’s happening tonight, but all he’s said was that you should wear the fanciest dress that you brought. You brought a red dress that has sheer sleeves and looks rather sexy and sophisticated, so you’ll be wearing that tonight with some heels.

You’ve just finished curling your hair and doing your makeup, and you’re just waiting for John to get out of the shower now. You pull your robe around you and grab your phone to head out to the balcony, then you slouch when you realize it’s way too late to call home to check on Ronan. You called earlier but your mom didn’t answer and only texted back. She’s obviously doing things with Ronan, so you’re not surprised that she didn’t answer.

You frown as you sit down on the bench and look at your phone, but you slowly start to smile when you see all the pictures that you and John have taken so far this week. The two of you look so happy here in Paris, and it’s sweet to see the way John is looking at you in pictures. There’s no doubt that spark is still very much there between you two.

John clears his throat as he stands in the doorway and puts his cuff links on, and you smile wide as you stand up and look at him. It’s not every day that you get to see John in a suit since it’s not an every day outfit choice for him, but when he does gets dressed up, fuck, does he look good!

“So…fucking…handsome!” you say as you lean up to kiss him, “Let me get dressed.”

Walking into your room, you get your dress from out of the closet and immediately put it on, then you walk over to John so he can zip up the back of it. You reach down to get your heels on, then you stand in front of the mirror and check yourself out, smiling when you see how good you look.

“Are you kidding me?” John asks, and you look over at him, “My wife? You’re my wife? How?”

You hum as you slowly walk over to him, shrugging and putting your hands up, “Hmm, I guess you just got lucky.”

“Oh, I absolutely did.” he smiles, then he leans back to get a look at you. He gestures for you to spin, then he nods his head and claps, “Yeah, it’s official. I have the most beautiful wife here.”

“My biggest fan,” you whisper as you lean up to kiss him. “Thank you.”

John inhales as he gets his suit jacket and puts it on, then he shows off the fancy cuff links that you bought him for Christmas. He fixes his jacket a little and runs his hand over his beard, then he nods his head and smiles when you hold his gaze. Jesus, he’s gorgeous.

“God, I just know my legs are gonna hurt tonight.” you say, and John cocks up his brow, “Yeah, I meant that how it sounds.”

John laughs, “Ready?”

“The sooner we leave, the sooner we can come home…”

John grabs your waist and kisses you, “We can be late…”

“No!” you laugh as John smothers your face in kisses, “We need dinner, then we can come home and have dessert.”

“Mm, yeah,” he croons in your ear, “I like that sound of that.”

Holding tight to John’s hand, you walk with him through the crowds of people on the streets. You still have no idea where he’s taking you, but all you know is that you’re getting very hungry. The sun is just now starting to go down, so most of the city is lit up and looks absolutely beautiful.

You look to your left and see how still the water is as people get on boats to take rides around to look at all the landmarks in Paris, and you smile when you see a few young couples taking pictures. You look up at John and smile when he looks at you, then he points at a boat and tugs your hand a little.

“Oh, we’re going on a ride to look at everything too?”

John nods, “Yeah, but I figured it’d be a little fun to do this alone…”

You put your hand over your heart and smile, “So, no people on the boat with us?”

“Only the best for my girl.” he smiles, then he walks over to the boat and nods at the man waiting for the two of you to board.

“Mr. Wick.” the man nods, then he smiles at you, “Mrs. Wick.”

You smile as you look at him, “Hi.”

John holds your hand and makes sure you don’t trip on the steps as you walk onto the boat, then he smiles when you look at him. He gestures to seating area, then he walks over to pour you a glass of champagne while you sit down on the bench to look out the window.

“God, this place is so beautiful.” you say, then you take the glass from John when he sits down next to you with the menu, “Oh, what are you going to get?”

“Thinking about some steak.” he says, and you nod your head. “What about you? Probably wanting some oysters? Maybe a nice salmon?”

You laugh as you look at him, “Oh, yeah! I mean, if you want me to go into anaphylactic shock and die right in front of you, then sign me up!”

John laughs, shaking his head, “We definitely don’t want that. There’s a lot of fish on this menu, I really should have thought this through a little more. Most of these appetizers are seafood. I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m already ruining this.”

“No, you’re not! It’s great!” you smile as you lean over to look at the menu with him, “That looks good.”

“Okay, chicken canapés…” he nods, then he looks at you and smiles, “And some steaks for our main dish.”

You nod, then you shrug, “Though I wouldn’t hate if they brought us some bread too.”

John laughs as he nods, “Okay, I’m going to go tell them to keep any fish away from our meals. I’ll be back.”

He’s really the sweetest guy. Every restaurant you’ve been to this week, he’s gone into the kitchen to let them know you’re allergic to fish. He does the same thing back home when you go to new restaurants, even after he’s looked at the menu online to make sure they had non-fish options. Just another one of those small things he does that you absolutely adore him for.

“Thank you.” you lean over to kiss him, then you take a sip of your champagne when he gets up and leaves.

You walk outside and sit down in a chair to look at the beautiful view of the city, and you smile for a moment before you frown. You so badly miss your family and wish they could be here. You’re having fun with John, of course you are, but this is the first time you’ve been away from Ronan this long, and it sucks. This is such a once in a lifetime trip that you wish you could share with them.

“Hey,” John sits down next to you and smiles, “Beautiful out here.”

“Yeah, it is.” you nod, then you look over at him, “What’s been your favorite thing so far?”

John takes a deep breath and tilts his head back as he thinks, “Probably going to the Lourve. You were so excited about everything, it was really cute.”

You laugh as you shrug, “I never in a million years thought I’d be in freaking Paris. I had a whole Paris themed room when I was like…12.”

“Thought Italy was where you wanted to go the most.”

“Well, yeah, it was! I just liked Paris too!” you laugh, and John nods his head. “Thank you so much for this trip. It’s been an absolute dream. I’m glad I got to do it with you.”

John smiles as he leans over to kiss you, “The city of love with my love.”

“Corny.” you whisper against his lips, then you kiss him again, savoring the warmth of his lips on yours.

“You look so beautiful tonight.” John says, rubbing his hand over your thigh, then he looks over when he sees the waiter setting your appetizers on the table. He stands up and reaches for your hands, pulling you up for the chair, then he leads you to the table inside. He pulls out your chair for you and smiles when you lean up to kiss him, then he sits down. “This looks good.”

You nod as you lean forward to take a bite of the one John is feeding you, then you put your hand over your mouth and chew, humming obnoxiously, “Oh, my god!”

“Good?” he laughs, and you nod your head and eat the rest of it. John eats one and nods his head as he gives you a thumbs up, then he wipes his mouth and puts up his finger, “I need to grab something, I’ll be back.”

“Hurry back or I’ll eat all of this.” you laugh, and John leans down to kiss you.

You take another sip of your champagne and continue to eat while John is gone, and you wipe your mouth off and look out as you pass the Eiffel Tower, still twinkling in the dark. You smile as you look at it all lit up and sparkling, then you look down at your phone to check to see if you have any messages from your mom.

You told your mom to text you with updates while you were gone and she’s been pretty good about it, but she hasn’t texted you at all today. You assume that she’s probably just busy with Ronan, but you wish that you could talk to her and see how she’s doing.

Sighing a little, you put your phone back into your purse, then you drink the last of your champagne before you take another bite of your food. You furrow your brow a little when you realize John has been gone for longer than expected, and you look over your shoulder to see if he’s coming back. You turn back to your food and wipe your fingers clean on your napkin so you don’t get your dress dirty, then you slouch a little.

“Okay, I’m back.” John says, and you smile when he sits down, “Sorry.”

“I thought you said you needed to grab something.” you say, furrowing your brow when you see John is empty-handed, then you roll your eyes, “No surprises!”

John laughs as he shakes his head, “No surprises. I just had to do something.”

“Okay, well, that doesn’t make it any less suspicious.” you say, and John laughs as he shakes his head. “I know you, Jonathan. I know how you like to surprise me with things.”

“Because you always look so cute when I do.” John smiles, pinching your cheek.

You playfully roll your eyes at John, then you reach forward to grab some more food. You spread some butter onto a piece of bread and smile when John looks at you, then you take a bite of your bread.

“You’re being weird.” you say, and John laughs. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” he laughs, shaking his head, “I just…I’m so sorry. I’ll be right back.”

You gasp, “John!”

“I’ll be back!” he laughs, and you sit back in your chair and pout.

You hear the door open behind you, but you keep pouting as you look out the window. You tap your foot on the floor and roll your eyes when you feel John stand next to you, but you’re being so stubborn that you refuse to look at him.

“Look at me,” he says, then he laughs when you shake your head, “I promise you’re gonna want to look over here. You know you want to look.”

You really, really do.

“Fine!”

As soon as you look over at John, you freeze and gasp when you see him holding your sweet baby girl in his arms. You reach up for her as she kicks her legs and blows raspberries, and you hold her tight to your chest as you cry.

“Oh my god…” you cry as you lean back to look at her, then you kiss her cheek and hug her, “Hi, baby.”

John kneels down and smiles when you look at him, “It’s a good surprise, huh?”

“Yeah,” you cry as you lean over to hug and kiss him, “The best.”

You move your plate on the table and set Ronan down, and you realize she’s wearing the cute outfit you bought for her yesterday. You look over at John as he smiles, then he nods in the direction of the door. Looking over your shoulder, you smile when you see your family all standing back, and you wave at them as you cry.

“This was always the plan, baby.” John whispers as he pulls up a chair next to you, “The plan was always to bring everyone out here after we had a few days alone. I just wanted you to myself for a few days, I won’t apologize for that.”

“I don’t want you to.” you laugh tearfully, then you smile at Ronan as she chews on her fingers. You look back over at John and hold his gaze, “I love you so much. Thank you.”

John laughs as he tears up, then he shakes his head and wipe away the tear on his cheek, “You’re so cute.”

Ronan looks up at you and smiles before she drools all down her chin, and John quickly wipes it away and leans over to kiss her cheek. Reaching over, you cup John’s face in your hand and press several sweet kisses to his lips, then you look over at everyone and wave them over.

Tess smiles as she leans down to hug you, then she grabs a piece of bread off your plate before she moves so you can hug your mom. She holds you tight in her arms as you cry, then she kisses your cheek and moves. You hug your dad and Jimmy, then you wave at Finn and blow a kiss to him.

“Oh, my god.” you laugh as John wipes the tears off your face, “You’re all here.”

“Duh!” Tess laughs as she sits at the table and hands a piece of bread to Finn, “Who do you think you are going to Paris without me?”

You laugh and move over so John can sit next to you and everyone else can sit down, then you hug Ronan in your arms, pressing kisses to the top of her head.

“Oh,” Tess reaches into her bag and laughs, “She wouldn’t wear the beret, but maybe momma will be more successful.”

Taking the beret from Tess, you put it on Ronan and smile as she squeals and chews on her hands. She reaches up and rips it off just after John gets a picture of the two of you, then she reaches out for her daddy. You lean against his shoulder and smile as he kisses her cheek and hugs her, then you reach forward and pinch her chubby little cheek.

“How is your trip going?”

You smile as you reach over for John’s hand, “It’s been great! Seriously. It’s been so good, and now that you’re all here…”

John laughs when you look at him and widen your eyes, “I took no offense.”

“In all honesty, this trip has been…absolutely amazing. John and I have had so much fun walking around and taking everything in, but last night we started talking about how much we miss Ronan,” you say, and John nods, “I have loved just spending time with John, so I’m definitely not taking any of that time for granted. It’s been really nice.”

“We’ve had fun. Had a lot of good laughs.” John nods as you smile at him, “My plan was always to have some days alone with her, then have everyone fly out to finish out the week. I knew she wouldn’t last a whole week without out Bug, and in all honesty, I was struggling too.”

Ronan squeals loudly as you look down at her, then she stands up on John’s legs and bounces on her knees. You smile when she looks at you and leans over so you’ll take her, then you kiss her cheek and smile at her. She’s clearly very happy to see you and John--she can’t decide who she wants to be held by.

You look over at Tess and smile, “Did you do any sightseeing today?”

“Uh, just a little,” Tess shrugs, then she smiles, “I mean, you can see the Eiffel Tower from every direction in this place, so we didn’t miss that.”

“We got to see the Mona Lisa the other day, it was so cool. We have to go again. Oh, and there’s this really cute cafe down the street from where we’re staying, and it’s so good. We’ll have to go there too. Wait, where are you guys staying?”

John laughs as he pats your thigh, “With us.”

It finally hits you as to why John got such a big apartment for the week, and you gasp, “You’ll love the view from our place--the Eiffel Tower is so beautiful in the distance. Ah! I’m so excited that you’re all here! We’re gonna have so much fun!”

A smile spreads across John’s face as he looks over at you, then he kisses your cheek, “I had to bring the Bug here for tomorrow, for sure.”

“What’s tomorrow?”

John reaches over and pinches Ronan’s cheek, then he looks at you, “Well, we can’t go to Disneyland and not bring her with, now can we?”

Tess smiles as you look at her, “I’m so excited! Finn is gonna get some cute Mickey ears!”

Jimmy laughs as he looks at you, then he widens his eyes and taps Tess’ shoulder, “Holy shit…”

You look out the window as everyone walks out to get a better look at the Eiffel Tower, and you smile when Jimmy wraps his arms around Tess and holds her as they look up at it. Your mom sits down in the chair with your dad next to her, and they share a sweet little kiss.

“Are you happy?” John asks, and you look over at him as you tear up.

“I was happy before,” you whisper, and he nods. “But she’s with us. I’m even happier now. I like when we’re all together.”

John smiles as he leans over to kiss you, “It’s been nice having time for just the two of us, but I will admit, I have been missing this little one.”

You look down at Ronan as she looks around and takes everything in, then you look at John and hold his gaze, “I am the luckiest woman in the world.”

“I’m the luckiest man.”

“Thank you for this.” you smile, leaning over to kiss him, “I’ll never forget those three days we had to ourselves. You’re the perfect man, Jonathan. Won’t lie, a little bummed that we won’t get a repeat of the balcony sex we had last night.”

John laughs as he leans over to whisper in your ear, “No one said we won’t get some special husband and wife time again. Maybe I got something else planned for just us.”

You smirk as you look at him, “Have I mentioned that I’m the luckiest woman in the world yet?”

“You might have mentioned it before.”

“Well, then let me mention it again.” you smile at him, “I am so lucky.”

John presses a kiss to your lips and smiles, holding tight to you and Ronan, “Not as lucky as me.”

taglist:

@star017 @beingnerdyissupercool @angie-20000 @ruby-octo @sakurachan-9

#john wick imagine #john wick x you #john wick x y/n #john wick x reader #fic: holding my hand #ahhh to be in paris with john wick #i have some ig edits that i'll probably post on wednesday???#anyway sorry i was so late with the update work has been kicking my ass lmao #ok well i love yall and hope the warmer weather is treating u well!!!#BYEEEE #also pls be kind and maybe leave me a lil comment or something idk lmao

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lairn · 2 years ago

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Book 7/24: Last Argument of Kings by Joe Abercrombie Rating: 3.25/5

And with that, I have officially finished The First Law trilogy!

I’ve never read a book series quite like this before. Typically, the first book stands alone and the middle books have self-contained narratives with some unresolved plot elements. Abercrombie fully committed to telling one story spanning three books. In some ways, this concept is successful. I felt compelled to finish the whole series because I wanted the full picture, including payoff for plot elements set up very early in the series. However, by the third book, that early setup is also a weakness. By laying groundwork for events in the third book in earlier installments and then occasionally reminding the reader about them Abercrombie gives the reader a lot of time to figure things out. Some developments are anticipated long in advance and the actual reveal falls a little flat. Tolomei comes to mind. Not everything needs to be a twist, but when the reader has the general shape of a mystery’s solution in mind hundreds of pages before, the answer has to provide something a little unexpected.

I think the waiting also tried my patience at times since the books are all 500+ pages, and occasionally it feels like Abercrombie is stalling so that he can time his climaxes correctly. There are chapters where the characters are like animals pacing their cages, making no forward progress in plot or personal development. However, I have mentioned in another series that war stories are not my favorite, so I may have been more impatient than the average reader during this last installment.

I dragged my feet through the Gurkish conflict, but once that was resolved the book’s wrap up went by quickly enough. Overall, I enjoyed the earlier portions of the book and the last hundred pages. I complained about characters being used to fill pages for timing purposes, but I still enjoyed reading where each one ended up and the changes or stagnation they underwent. Logen’s looped story, Glokta finally answering his “Why do I do this?,“ and Jezal confirming that yes, his spine is a non-Newtonian fluid were all fitting and satisfying conclusions. Some things still fell by the wayside, making me wonder if they will crop up in other books. Ferro just kind of leaves and the Shanka concern is all but forgotten. But Ardee finally got to stop pacing that cage and have a change in her life, which I’m happy about. I’m not totally clear on the nature of the Bloody Nine even now. I might write a separate post about it.

Anyways, I think this series is flawed but interesting and I’m not sorry I read it. I would actually like to read more of Abecrombie’s work, because although he did not fully deliver, there’s something about his writing that speaks to a capacity to tell a really good story. I’m going to take a break from his writing, but if anybody has suggestions for what book of his to read next, let me know!

#last argument of kings #the first law #joe abercrombie #reading challenge 2023

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kariachi · 1 year ago

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Random: Trying to get a sense of an ‘average’ lifetime egg count based on the numbers in Dragon Skies, even though they don’t line up with numbers from earlier books. Though I’m looking through Moreta right now and 25 eggs with a prospective gold is described as being "superb” for a queen at the end of a Pass, which would still make the 15 eggs per clutch mentioned in the later book on the low end, especially since Nemorth was getting shat on for 12, and we had golds early in the Pass laying clutches of 30+... And in Dragon Skies the gold mentioned is clutching every other Turn which with 15 eggs per clutch is supposedly plenty enough to do their share in maintaining the Weyr, but then other books have fuckers Rising every Turn...

It’s a mess, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try to work out some numbers on how many eggs we should be expecting in a queen’s lifetime if these later numbers are accurate to the norm. Just means when we do out own work we need to shuffle numbers and make them work for what we’re doing- which is supposed to be the writers’ jobs but apparently nobody could make up their minds.

Anyway- 15 eggs a year every other year. Now the big question comes in ‘how long can a queen be expected to Rise?’. Of course this is going to depend, for instance based on this timeline I can find Nemorth first Rose- or at least first did so successfully- at age 7, while Ramoth seems to have been at age 2, but again we can assume this is an Interval vs Pass thing.

Actually, if we use that to explain then it gives us a potential standard space between clutches for the different periods of time- this is all theory but if dragons have as much time between clutches as it takes to mature then an Interval queen could be expected to lay every 7 or so years and we still get this every other years for the Pass number.

But, carrying on, we’re talking Pass numbers so we’re assuming a queen lays at 2 years old and then every other Turn after that until she becomes too old and/or worn to Rise. So we need a number for that, hence why I am looking at Moreta. Which then gives us the problem of never actually telling us how fucking old Leri and Holth are. We can assume from what we learn in it that dragons keep breeding until they're very old, however, Holth had only just stopped rising a few Turns before the start of the story and she and Leri are consistently described as old and arthritic, and Leri even implies that the two of them are on their last legs. So, we have to start estimating shit.

In Masterharper we’re told riders live well into their hundreds, but we’re not given any other back-up to that that I can remember or have read so, going with base human lifespan estimates for this one. More likely riders more typically live to an older age just because they have better access to care or good food than the masses, but still within a normal range. Now, even in the Middle Ages 60 was considered elderly, and arthritis becomes more likely after hitting 50 pretty much as a rule, and regular exercise make living longer more likely... Cane use is common in those 65+... If we go with medieval averages then 50 years would be a good baseline lifespan for regular folk who who reach adulthood, another 10-15 years on that wouldn’t be a shocker for riders, put Leri above that and it would make sense she’s so flippant about her time having passed and really it’s about time she died so she and Holth can rest...

So, for the sake of the math we’ll put Leri at 70, plenty old enough that she can still describe herself as having ‘few’ old friends left while still allowing for normal human age ranges and riders living longer on average than the commonfolk. Going with this Holth would’ve stopped Rising when Leri was 68, the average age of a gold-candidate is about 20, so we can estimate dragons Rise to mate until they’re somewhere in the vicinity of 50.

She would have had to miss Rising, so her last clutch would have been two years before she officially was listed past breeding, and this would be the norm, so we can assuming a Pass queen, using these numbers we’re working with, would have about 24 clutches in their lifetime. If each of those clutches is 15 eggs then she would be laying about 360 eggs in her lifetime.

Of course the numbers differ depending on how old Leri was which changes how long we can estimate dragons Rising (for instance if she was in her 110s, 120s, then Holth was likely nearly a century old if not older and would have laid closer to 50 clutches), how often they Rise (since the books can’t decide whether they Rise every other Turn or every Turn, and we know the time between clutches varies from Pass to Interval), and how many eggs are in a clutch (is 35 a proper number? 25? 15? 10? Nobody can make up their damn mind). But, it’s a number to work with.

Cut me some slack, I can’t work too many miracles with this series.

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blackleopardgirl · 1 month ago

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inkwell ranting notes

They want a woman to come greet them in the doorway when they get off work. It justifies their reason for working so hard, and dealing with everyday bullshit. They want a woman to be devoted to them it seems. They’ve been sold a lie, many men grew up when they were younger believing that a woman would just be there, devoted to them if they were just nice to a woman. They’ve never touched a woman before, they want to hug, kiss, and cuddle a woman, it isn’t only about sexual intimacy. He later in the video states that he also wants to play in her hair, and have her lay on his chest.

They feel intimacy inside, going this long without feeling intimacy from a woman. They all want to be loved by a woman. They want a woman to care about them. They want someone to choose them, it hurts when someone have never wanted you romantically. The particular young man that I watch, he’s black, from a low income background and he says that he prefers a white woman to date; however he said that he’s open to any race. (He also has spoken highly of light skin black and mixed raced women) I suspect he’s dark skin, he has mentioned colorism before, and the benefits that light skin black men have when dating.

They want a girl to be excited and giddy when speaking to them, a woman to jump up and down and scream when she sees him. They want to feel wanted, it’s isolating to be alone. Women don’t even look in their direction. He has somewhat spoke about the physical appearance of the girls he wants, he is sometimes allusive about her looks; he’ll claim that he’ll “take” a ‘below average’ woman, but he always starts out saying that he wants a ‘decent’ looking or ‘cute’ woman to date. I understand people have to be attracted to whomever their partner is, but I still don't know what he looks like himself. That’s where maybe the only hypocrisy lies.

He complained about the inkwell standards, and said that some men in their space have standards like women. He said that he listens to ASMR voices of women saying, “I love you” before bed. He wants to listen to a woman’s soft, feminine voice, he said that he’s never heard it before. He also said that he listens to audios of people being kïdnapped…it was something related to anime. (Yandere simulator)

He said that he doesn’t act like this 24/7. They don’t act like this in public, and around other people, their BP channels are their only channels where they rant about their social situations. They said that there’s a real fear for men like them to speak about these kinds of topics in real life, they fear being fired, and looked at strange. They already don’t like their lives, and have no one to date, they don’t want to be further isolated in society, so they talk about normal topics around their friends and other people.

Many of these inkwells don’t have a lot of money, another inkwell that I follow, who lives in California, is Hispanic, he sleeps in the back of a truck because he was sleeping in his Prius but that rental is over. He has a family, he comes from a large family but I’m not sure why he doesn’t live with them? His father recently passed away and only wants to live in Mexico now. He works for Uber and DoorDashes; I don't know what other previous jobs he worked, however, there’s typically no reason for these guys to work hard or to become educated or certified. They claim that because they don’t have a family, or any romantic prospects, like a long-term girlfriend, there’s no reason for them to work hard at work because they aren’t planning on becoming a husband and father to anyone.

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mscaptainwinchester · 2 years ago

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2022 Fic Round-Up

Fic Round-Up is shockingly (to me, sort of) short this year, for very good reason. While I got very little writing done until the last two months of this year, I did somehow manage to complete my goal of reaching 1,000,000 words on AO3 this year!! This one has been on the goal list for several of the last years, so reaching it feels amazing!

I would have liked more actual writing to happen, but a lot of other things happened instead:

1. I got officially diagnosed with ADHD and have been working with my psychiatrist on figuring out possible meds (so far unsuccessfully. The usual meds work on me as well as coffee, Dramamine, Nyquil, and marijuana does, which is to say there was zero effect. Not shocking considering I have to have double doses of pain meds to get a normal effect. My body’s weird.). Most of my year involved figuring out brain hacks to make my life better. If you want any suggestions that have worked for me or have any of your own you think I should try, lmk.

2. Finally started addressing that I’m pretty sure I’m autistic. It’s been in the back of my brain for a couple of years now, but I didn’t start really looking into it until I started deep-diving on my reactions in regards to ADHD and other things started making a lot more sense. I won’t be pursuing formal diagnosis for a lot of reasons, nor am I likely to talk about it much.

3. The thing about going to therapy and starting to figure out how your brain works when it works differently than what’s ‘typical’ is a lot of the things that you’ve been covering up with the mask you’ve been wearing your whole life to appear ‘normal’ start poking at you. For me, one of those things was my less than heterosexual interest in women. I’m still fairly certain I’m somewhere on the ace spectrum, but I’m also definitely a lesbian.

4. I started volunteering at a wildlife rescue clinic. If you’re part of Isn’t It Bromantic, you’ve been privy to weekly photos of the animals I take care of.

In summary, it’s been an interesting year full of introspection. As a result, I only wrote 32,556 words this year. I’ve read 100 books, and since I finished my feminist committee reading in January, I’m finally back to reading mostly the kinds of books that I’d like to write, which means my creativity is starting to wake back up!

My goals for this year are to finish a draft of the original novel I’ve been plotting since August and average at least 10k month writing. We’ll see how things go.

Now that all that’s out of the way, onto my itty bitty 2022 Fic Round-up:

Came Back Wrong | Wade Wilson | T | 1949

Shard one of his broken heart brings Wade to Wilson Fisk and a fight he never expected to have.

This Is Not a Dinner Party: Chapter 4 | Lucius Malfoy/Ron Weasley | E | 4581

“If” can be a rather powerful word when the circumstances are right. So many things in life might have gone differently, if only there had been an “if.” This fact has never been more evident than in the case of one Sybill Trelawney. Most people believe that if they had not lived, the world would not be significantly altered, and in most cases they would be correct. Sybill Trelawney would have given a similar answer, had anyone bothered to ask—but of course they didn’t. No one would have ever guessed that the fate of the Wizarding World lay in the hands of little, frizzy-haired, dizzy Sybill Trelawney going on a walk.

Total Fics: 2

Total Words: 6530

#fic round-up #writing #my fanfic #yearly round-up #2022

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hopespeak-hs-hostclub · 3 years ago

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can you do NSFW alphabet with tamaki souh please?

MY KING TAMAKI YES OF COURSE 🥰🥰🥰 I’m SOO SOOOOOO sorry it took a little while!!

ALSO didn’t know what gender identity/pronouns you wanted, so I did AFAB Fem reader! If you want me to redo it with they/them or he/him pronouns - or a AMAB reader just send the request again and I’ll do it for you no problem!!!

Tamaki Suoh NSFW ABC’s

Tw// fem!reader•afab•she/her pronouns

A (Aftercare) Tamaki literally treats you like a princess. Makes sure you take a bubble bath, personally helps you clean yourself up. Will make sure to get your comfiest sleep wear, and help you into bed where he holds you closely, telling you what a good girl you are.

B (fave body part) “every part of you is my favorite” there is no way to make this NOT creepy, but he loves your skin. Touching it, kissing it, biting it, spanking it. He loves how soft and warm your body feels.

C (cum) Tamaki does one of three things depending on what you want: cums inside you, wears a condom, or pulls out and cums all over your belly. His least favorite way is in a condom, but he respects you and will always ask if you have a preference. If you say no, he’ll usually fill you up.

D (dirty Secret) he not only loves to get sexy pics from you- whether it’s nudes, or sexy after shower in a towel shots, or you sending him a photo of you in a new top you just got, and nothing underneath. But he also loves sending those to you. He once sent you one where he was laying in bed with his pants unzipped, and his hair all messed up while he lay there shirtless.

E (experience) he has more experience than you may think. He knows how to please a lady though, and you both take full advantage of that!!

F (favorite Position) he’s a missionary guy through and through. He’s not the kinkiest although he does like to bite and leave hickeys on you, he wants sex to be passionate and romantic and full of love and affection. He doesn’t love the crazy wild kinky stuff. He would much rather slowly fuck you hard and deep

G = (Goofy?) Tamaki does his whole “I’m a gentleman and a prince and you’re just a small angel who I must protect and love” thing while in bed- a lot. and it always makes you giggle without fail. He loves that he can make you blush and laugh while being intimate, because he knows that means you love him and are comfortable with him.

H = (Hair) clean shaven all the time, and he prefers you to be as well, although, you’ll never hear him complaining if you don’t.

I = (Intimacy) Tamaki is all about intimacy. Lots of whispers of affection, and praising. “You’re such a good little girl,” “I love you so so much,” “you’re so beautiful” and lots of kissing literally all over. He loves kissing your tummy and moving his way up your entire body until he’s biting and kissing on you neck and earlobes.

J = (Jack Off) not only does he jack off, but remember those dirty pictures he likes to send? You’ve gotten a lot of pictures of him with his hand down his pants where he just says “thinking of you (;” he literally masturbates to pictures or thoughts of you all the time.

K = (Kink) biting and praise! Not only does Tamaki love to bite your skin, and tell you what an absolutely amazing good girl you’re being for him, but he would also love if you did the same. He adores hearing you tell him how good he’s doing at making you feel good, and when it comes to the biting, he’s the exact opposite of embarrassed when it comes to having your bite marks all over him. He’s honestly proud of them most of the time and puts in zero effort into covering them up.

L = (Location) always at one of your homes. Most of the time in bed. But you’ve had shower sex, bathtub sex, living room sex, kitchen sex… you’ll both hop onto each other anytime you can.

M = ( Motivation) straddle that mans lap and kiss and bite his neck and he’ll flip you over and be ready to go.

N = (NO) surprisingly, no calling him daddy in bed. He loves when you call him daddy, but he doesn’t think of it as a sexual thing, and he’s not the biggest fan.

O = (Oral) Tamaki loves when you give him oral. Like he’s obsessed. Most of the time, he can barely contain himself and he ends up fucking your face. He also loves giving you oral. He can not get enough of how you taste. If you ever want to make him the horniest happiest he’s ever been, sit on Tamaki’s face. Just do it.

P = (Pace) he likes to be extra gentle and passionate so sex is usually at a nice steady pace. It can get a little fast, or a little slow, but typically he finds a rhythm you both like and stick to that the best he can.

Q = (Quickie) have you had a few quickies? Yes who hasn’t! Does Tamaki like quickies? Fuck no.

R = (Risk) absolutely not. Tamaki isn’t the most adventurous risk taker out there, so he’d prefer to stick with what you guys already know and like. Of course, when you begged him to use handcuffs on you, he was down for that. But that’s about the biggest risk he’s willing to make.

S = (Stamina) Tamaki lasts for a good while. He only cums once (sometimes twice) typically, and sex lasts for roughly an hour or two.

T = (toy) one of Tamaki’s favorite things to do to with you is tease you with a vibrator just a little. Make sure you’re nice and ready for him

U = (Unfair) he’ll never admit it but Tamaki is 100% a tease. He says he doesn’t, but he loves making you squirm.

V = (Volume) if you think for a second that this man is anything but loud you’re wrong. He’s so loud- he moans and cries out. He is always vocalizing how good you’re doing, or how good he feels, or how beautiful you are. He does loud deep heavy breathing while he fucks you, he whimpers. A lot.

W = (Weird fact) he’s really into setting the mood. I’m talking incense, scented candles, dimmed lighting, flower petals, body massages with scented lotion. The whole thing.

X = (X-Ray) Tamaki is just average at around 6 and a half inches. But trust me that’s not a bad thing. He knows exactly how to work what he’s got, and it’s not too big and overwhelming that you can’t handle it. He’s the literal perfect size.

Y = (Yearning) oh, he craves you. He wants to hold you and touch you and kiss you as often as he can. Even when you’re out in public, his hand will always be placed on your thigh, or he’ll be holding you from behind pressed firmly against his body. Even if he doesn’t necessarily want to have sex at that moment in time, he would do anything to have you touch him, or he touch you.

Z = (ZZZ) Tamaki is an adorable baby, so after he helps you get cleaned and changed, once the two of you are spooning in bed, he’s out within 10 minutes every time. You wear him out and he lives for it.

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spilledkauffie · 4 years ago

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SFW (Fluff) Alphabet · Zemo

List made by @caitlinpotter || Sorry I’ve been so absent this week; I promise I have content for the weekend!

*xFemale!Reader || NSFW Alphabet ❤︎

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Quite affectionate— he loves giving you affection, and it’s all across the board with him. It can be from soft sweet touches to actual affectionate actions done for you.

Full HC list on this soon! ✧

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend?)

Literally the best— for starters he’s super loyal, because if you’re truly friends with him he’s not giving up on you easily. Your friendship wasn’t exactly easy to get to, mostly thanks to his profession, but once you’re in, you’re in.

100% defensive of you— anyone tries to come at you in any negative way, he’s got a comeback to absolutely destroy them. Also, having someone of his reputation around can be beneficial for when you want to be left alone, as he seems to intimidate people a little bit.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

When you cuddle him— he loves it when you just come over without saying a word and cuddle up next to him, he doesn’t ask questions he just lets you get as close and be as cute as you want. Sometimes he has to chuckle at just how physically needy you are, like absolutely burying your face against his back, nuzzling softly, with your arms around him in an attempt to get his attention / also loves waking up to you cuddled right up against him.

When he cuddles you— he can just tell when you need it, so often times he reaches out for your hands with a “come on, come here,” naturally, you give in, he pulls you into a hug, slightly rocking you back and forth. It’s a lot of soft touches and feathery kisses.

↳ if you’re lying on your stomach, he’ll lie down with you. Resting his head on the small of your back, brushing his fingers across or down your back, sometimes he places soft kisses against your skin, which always gets your attention. You either: 1). turn on to your side, he hooks and arm between you legs and uses your thigh as a pillow. 2). you lay on your back, letting him rest against your stomach, gradually he makes his way up to give the corner of your lips a kiss.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they around the house?)

For sure— it’s not long before you’re practically living with him. Now that you’re in his life, he wants you around for everyday life; what is his very soon becomes yours. You picked up on it when he started to suggest “why don’t you stay here... tonight? And maybe tomorrow?” more often.

Around the house— he’s quite casual. You never feel expected to get up at a certain hour (regardless that he gets up early), you’re never expected to be downstairs and dressed immediately, it’s more of a calm atmosphere that lets you wake up. You don’t constantly have to be around each other, he knows space is important. Sometimes it’s just doing your own things in the same room in silence together. Despite the status of Baron, he behaves like your average individual around the house, he likes to do things himself.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It’s actually really hard for him— it’d have to be in person though, as hard as it would be. For starters it would take a lot for him to actually call it over, he’s extremely patient and an expert at working things out with you, because he truly doesn’t want to it end.

↳ a most likely situation for ending it would be that he can’t guarantee your safety due to whatever he’s getting himself into, and he’d rather make the call to let you go than to have no choice in truly losing you because of his own dangerous choices.

He’d leave it open though— sitting across from him, you stay quiet after both coming to the conclusion that it’s over. However, he leaves you with: “if you ever need anything, in any way. . .” you nod, a few tears falling as you stay silent, staring forward. Coming over to you, he softly wipes a tear away, kissing your temple, whispering, “I’m sorry,” before walking away.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He’s definitely committed in the relationship— ring or no ring, if you’re in a relationship with him he’s all in, not the type of person to just have a fling here and there. It’s total dedication to you, and you only.

Considering he’s done it once before—there’s a lot of past memories surrounding the topic of marriage for him, which is why there’s probably going to be a good amount of time together before any proposal. He just wants to be sure, plus there needs to be time to talk everything out before rushing into anything.

↳ when the time does come though, it’s a mad romantic, but personal proposal, with the most gorgeous ring in the world.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically— he’s super soft with you. He never wants to startle you, it’s always what you’re comfortable with. Touches are more than just flirtatious with him, they can be comforting, encouraging, supporting, etc. (He also knows what you’re not comfortable with as well so he can avoid it)

Emotionally— it’s a little more complicated. With your emotions he’s super gentle and understanding, always. He listens to anything and everything you say or just need to vent. He doesn’t interrupt and only gives his thoughts when you ask for them. He never intends to hurt you feeling either, he’s very careful. However, with his own emotions however, he’s a little harsher. He doesn’t really like to show any of the more complicated emotions. And doesn’t always give himself much grace for feeling certain ways, he tends to repress.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? What are their hugs like?)

Only from you— he doesn’t really like other people getting friendly, unless he really really knows them, even then it’s different. He doesn’t get physical with other people unless it’s a “move— you’re in my way,” situation, but that doesn’t count as friendly.

Extremely handsy— he love to bring his arms around you, so he can completely hold you whilst hugging you. Whether it’s around your waist, shoulders, hips, etc., just depends how the hug is done. He also tends to stroke his hands when hugging you, up and down your arms, back, sides, thighs, wherever.

↳ he likes to nuzzle against your neck, during front or back hugs, with the bridge of his nose, or his lips. He also gives tender kisses while he has you so close. Not kisses with other intentions, just sweet loving kisses that make you smile. Sometimes he brings his hand under your jaw, to tilt your head just enough so he can kiss your lips.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes time, but it’s not forever— when he knows he will tell you with no hesitation. He doesn’t debate telling you or worry about it being too bold, nope, he means it when he says it and he says it when he means it.

He also says it in different ways— it’s not always “those three words,” through his gestures and other phrases you hear I love you a lot.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Not if it’s someone you’ve known before him— he’s not intimidated by pervious friendships that predate your relationship.

When people flirt with you knowing he’s with you— he gets real jealous, real fast. Given that fancy occasions are kind of a routine thing, you’re around a lot of other people who want to flirt with you, and often do pretty openly. It’s rare that Zemo ever leaves your side, which helps, but that doesn’t stop people from trying, which he hates. Typically he just tries to keep you physically near, so he can be there to prevent it.

↳ one time he left to get you a drink and an old rival of his found you. Trying to be polite you remained in conversation, feeling fine until he caressed your shoulder. Almost immediately Zemo was back at your side. Handing you your drink civilly, with a “here you are, Darling,” he then glared at the man standing across from you. Not so subtly, Zemo slipped his arm around you, literally pushing off the unwanted hand and replacing it with his own. You leaned into him more, attempting to make a point, as Zemo continued giving a half smile half glare.

He doesn’t do much about it in aftermath— he’ll calmly admit to you that he was jealous, but he also gets you with “I understand why people want to talk, flirt, and be with you,” he shrugs, “you’re beautiful, they’d have to be blind not to see that, but yes,” he tilts his head, “but. . . I have to admit, there’s part of me that wants that only to myself, of course.” It makes you smile how calm he tries to keep himself, despite the frustration. It’s usually you who actually does anything after these type of conversations though.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Lightly running fingers up your neck— when he’s kissing you, he traces his fingers slowly up the side of your neck, until he reaches your jaw, there he strokes his thumb across your jawline.

Holding your hand— sometimes when you’re flirting with him, you like to get as close as possible without touching, he knows the game and subtly slips his fingers between yours, then he goes in for the kiss. He can feel your smile and your hands hold his tighter as you give in.

Hand kisses— he gives these whenever, wherever, and however often he can. It’s a cute way of showing affection in a very classy way. He uses them as hello / goodbye greetings, although typically you require more than a kiss on the hand for saying goodbye.

Soft, but turns into more— it starts out as a super sweet gentle kiss, but slowly you can feel it deepen, to which you usually break the kiss with a smile, “Helmut,” you laugh, holding onto his arms around you, as he moves his mouth to your neck, “I don’t have time for this,” you try to stop giggling.

As for himself— he loves the taste of you lips, so every time you kiss him, he adores it. However, there is a sweet spot at the base of his neck, that when you kiss there makes him stop mid sentence.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Fantastic— he’s actually perfect with kids. Maybe it’s past experience that plays into it, but he’s so sweet with kids. When they accidentally run into him, he gives a “be careful, little one,” before stepping out of their way. Something you’ve noticed is that he talks to them like they’re little adults, which is adorable.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Staying in bed— one way or another one of you convinces the other to stay in bed. Sometimes it’s him asking you to stay just a little bit longer, when you can’t, he understands and watches you get dressed, asking what your day looks like. / Other times it’s you compelling him that it’d be more fun to stay and cuddle with you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Relaxing— it’s a calm, safe, and warm environment when you can both just relax from the day in each other’s arms. Sometimes you’ll lean back against him and ask what he’s reading, when he says Machiavelli, you smile and get cozy, “perfect, that sends me right off,” you close your eyes as he begins to read aloud.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s not an open book— there’s a lot of history with him, some good, but also some bad. Even before the whole campaign to end Super Soldiers, he has a bit of a shady past, with his own military exploits. Some he’s made amends with, others he hasn’t.

Depends how much you already know— if you already know a good amount about him, 1). he’ll ask to even the playing field, so he can know you equally as well 2). he doesn’t mind you asking questions since you’re already aware of his general history.

Surface level stuff— interests, fascinations, favourite this-or-thats, he’s pretty open about though! He doesn’t mind sharing or talking about any of the casual topics about himself, it’s just the more personal stuff that takes time.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s extremely patient— The only way you would know is by a facial expression. His looks give him away more than his words or attitude does.

↳ if you’re not getting along, he’s the first to apologise, and it’s not an “I’m sorry” end of conversation apology. It’s a well thought out apology, because you don’t argue about the little stuff, it’d have to be something big to get you at odds for a while.

Silently frustrated— even if he gets mad, he keeps his cool in circumstances. Never raises his voice, his tone just gets a little deeper.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers everything— seriously, he does not forget anything. You’re his number one priority, so of course he pays attention. Even if there’s something you just mention at random, he’ll remember it. Say you mention how you used to have/like/want something, there’s a good chance it’s showing up again.

He also asks— he’s genuinely curious about you and wants to know as much as he can about the person he’s in love with. So, he loves childhood stories, random details, and little quirks about you.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The moment you said those three words— when you know everything about him, his past, his lifestyle, and you still decided to say I love you. And you still standing by it even though it meant waiting for him.

He also loves remembering the first time he saw you— he says he could never forget it, it was like a divine beauty just walked in.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

Veryyy— he’s extremely protective of you, but not overbearing, he’s good a being distantly or subtly protective. In other words in public / at events / new places he keeps an eye on you, even if it’s from a distance.

He will literally do anything— there’s no limit with how far he’d go to protect you from anything or anyone, even if he knows he’s outmatched, he’ll find a way.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Dates— he puts a lot of effort into them, mainly trying to make it a perfect yet comfortable setting. So if you like quiet restaurants, that’s what he’ll find. If you like outdoors, he’ll find a stunning walkthrough garden, etc.

Celebrations— it’s always extravagant and grand and beautiful whenever you’re celebrating anything with him. He wants you to feel like the royalty he believes you are.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

How easy criminal life is for him lol— you love the fact that he surprised you with a real classic art piece for your birthday, but the exact details on how he got it isn’t as pretty. You frequently ask if there’s any other way he could make a living.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not vain— despite the fancy and classy lifestyle, he’s never thought himself as an individual of great beauty. He likes beautiful things, which is why he says he was so attracted to you, but personally he doesn’t think much of himself.

He cares though— it’s not like he doesn’t care whatsoever, which is why he’ll usually ask you “what do you think of this?” in regards to fashion. He wants to look nice for you, and he knows how to do that. But he’s not the guy to check himself in the mirror, or constantly fret about his looks.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He doesn’t need a relationship— but that’s what makes your so special. Since he’s not the type to just constantly need someone to feel complete, the fact that he does need you make you and your relationship all the more important to him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He can crash literally anywhere— you’ve found him on the couch, on the floor, in a chair, and you have no idea why it’s a habit of his, but it is! And you have definitely addressed him about it before.

↳ walking in to his study, you found him asleep on the floor between the couch and coffee table, shaking your head and crouching down, you woke him up. Looking up to you, you asked, “Helmut, why are you sleeping on the floor?” / “Hmm- wh- I’m not on the floor, you’re on the floor,” he states sitting up, brining you into a hug with him.

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valenhell · 4 years ago

Text

From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites.

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict. - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no.

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending.

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic.

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet.

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will.

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes.

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers.

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings.

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it.

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not.

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised.

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute.

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable.

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it.

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay.

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it.

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

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awkwardkindatries · 3 years ago

Note

Thranduil for the nsfw alphabet?

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Thranduil’s sense of aftercare includes quickly checking your body over for immediate injuries before laying down and pulling you to his chest, heavy deft fingers working deeply into the length of your back as the two of you settle down.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part of himself would be his eyes, he loves how they hold you captive. On you it would be your hands.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

It’s thin but not watery and not overtly sticky or stringy either.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Once had the urge to take you on the dinning table in the middle of an important meeting with another dignitary when he had gotten uncomfortably close to you for Thranduil’s comfort.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s a very experienced ellon, not only does he have a son but I Headcanon that in his youth he was very promiscuous and definitely made his rounds where he could.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Is a big fan of missionary but only if you’re bound tightly beneath him as he does what he wishes with your helpless form.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Not goofy in the slightest, outside of the occasional quip or jab he’s fairly straight to business.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Every strand of thin white hair is meticulously kept in place and very neatly groomed.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

At times he can be romantic, he actually prefers these moments of passion and intimacy however there are times where sex is a stress relief for him and it’s more about keeping you in place as he uses you to bring the both of you to pleasure.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Slightly higher than average activity though it tends to go to practically nothing in moments of stress.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

I feel like he’d have something similar to a sugar daddy kink, dressing you in the nicest things, feeding you, taking care of you, making sure you never have anything to worry about again and all you need to do is spread your knees wide and give daddy some sugar back.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Almost exclusively in his chambers though he has considered the throne room a time or two.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

The kind of ellon who likes to be wined and dined, he has a strong desire for romance and partnership so a well placed compliment and glass of wine paired with his pet name will get you very far.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nothing that would ever put your life at risk, so probably nothing with choking or the like.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Prefers to receive but is very very open to giving, he got your body down to a science and could spend hours working all his knowledge to torture you for hours.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Rough and fast, doesn’t typically deviate from this unless he’s teasing you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Doesn’t have much time for quickies but is open to them should the time permit it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not much of a risk taker, he knows what he does and doesn’t like and where his lines in the sand aren’t .

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Definitely has stamina, could go a good couple times throughout the night with very little need to stop or recover.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I don’t think he minds them to much himself but would much rather use his his own parts and time to bring you to pieces.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Quite possibly the biggest tease in all of arda, will reduce you to a begging trembling mess before he ever gives you what you want.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not very loud at all, breathy deep moans mixed with throaty grunts and occasional dirty talk.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Sleeps in absolutely nothing, going to bed with Thranduil is met with insistence that you indulge his need for skin to skin contact.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Somewhere around 7 inches, slender and long but straight as an arrow.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Medium libido, craves sex about three to two times a week but lengthy sessions.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

When he’s finished thoroughly ravishing you he falls asleep relatively quickly, not immediately though. Long enough to give you lasting kisses and hush you to sleep yourself.

#the hobbit #hobbit #thranduil #alphabet #spicy

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animefreak1145 · 3 years ago

Text

The Irony of Adler and Bell

Call of Duty: Black Ops Analysis of Adler’s Brainwashing

It’s me again. And I’m here with another analysis! This time based solely around Adler. It’s always about Adler. But also Bell.

And this is about the brainwashing of not Bell, but Adler.

We have all had our theories since we first saw Adler getting tortured in the Cinematic Warzone Trailers, shown in Season 3 of COD:BOCW. Our suspicions growing when we see Sus Adler™️ doing what he does best in Season 4 by stealing an important looking chip within the crashed satellite that was taken down. (Also, Hudson, what is wrong with you letting Adler be cleared for a mission when he was just rescued like two weeks ago?!)

And although we did not see him in Season 5, we can all gather that anyone could be potentially brainwashed if you have a certain brand of earpiece. (Woods and Stryker appeared unaffected despite having their own earpieces). So the naive hope and calming words to others that Adler being different and strong is out the window. All it takes is hearing the numbers. What do the numbers mean, Mason?

Besides Bell wasn’t your average run of the mill agent either. An amazing decoder and created codes(I am with the theory that Bell did create the codes for Perseus that we have to decrypt in the game for Operation Chaos and Red Circus) with a brutal close combat skill as well as charming based on how one could talk to everyone and be a social butterfly. Also, able to handle and withstand torture after one hour of leaving Cuba despite previous injuries AND be able to go to Solovetsky/Duga and able to aim and shoot despite having a needle shoved in their eye a few hours earlier.

Bell had crazy skills. Just like Adler does. Bell was brainwashed. So is Adler.

Confirmed with this bundle that will be released. Thank you to @reclaimedbythesea who first found it and pointed it out.

We have the confirmation—the amazing, horrible, war criminal man we all love has become an agent of the man who he swore to chase down and capture/kill for longer than a decade. (Adler said thirteen years in COD:BOCW universe, so 1984 it would be sixteen years. Sheesh. Correct me if I’m wrong. I may be mistaken.) Is it wrong I kinda find it funny? Especially since he did the same thing to Bell—believing it to be necessary. Just as Stitch I’m sure finds it necessary.

It’s just a big brainwash back and forth between these two countries, a race to see who has the most mindless agents on their side in the end. But we’re not focusing on that.

We’re focusing on how Adler’s karma finally caught up to him with all his war crimes. We can infer that he hasn’t just done a cruel action like that to Bell, but to others. “Whatever it takes.” That’s his motto. He’s messed up other’s lives—hundreds, maybe even thousands. The Vietnam War has a deep dirty history, such as the real operation of Fracture Jaw, Operation Ranch Hand with the use of Agent Orange, the Mai(My) Lai Massacre and who knows how many other operations that would/did affect civilians. Not that I would see Adler doing anything like the massacre, but you can’t expect me to not believe that he may have been involved with Agent Orange somewhat? And who knows what other operations and missions he’s done as a CIA agent after the war?

My point is, the man has been gathering karma for awhile. Not just with Bell(I am aware he had his orders in the war, I’m just saying I’m not sure if he feels much guilt about some said orders. Guilt I believe he may has, but I’m not sure it’s a high degree.) Of course, Bell isn’t a saint either. They were willing to kill millions with Perseus after all. A wayyyy higher body count than Adler. And who knows what Bell did with Perseus even before the Greenlight plan? Didn’t seem to mind millions blinking in an eye, so must be pretty cold or delusional about the whole free world killing their country thing. Thank you @yunatheintrovert for this post pointing out and showing a hint of just how not good a person Bell was.

I’m not going to say they deserved what happened to them due to Adler. I feel for Bell. I really do. Just like I can’t say if Adler deserves it for everything—just can’t say that because I’m not at liberty to judge other’s actions and claim what is deserved and undeserved. Leave that to judges.

But now I’m going to point out certain things—other things. Such as what I think to be Adler’s “new” name. At least to those in the Perseus Collective/Stitch.

Do I realize that “Cipher” may just be what this awesome skin is called? Yes. Will I rather ignore it and rant about the name for two ten minutes? Also yes.

On to the analysis!

ci·pher/ˈsīfər/: a secret or disguised way of writing; a code.

This first definition is what we can all gather of what the numbers represent—the code and simultaneously the key of brainwashing others in earpieces with just a certain order of number together.

Stitch and co. used said numbers on Adler, so why not call him Cipher? The Code? Funny, cause he killed Bell—the Decoder. Maybe Bell would’ve helped him out if he didn’t kill them.

Another hammer to the irony of between these two.

But no. The name gets better. Second definition!

ci·pher /ˈsīfər/: a person or thing of no importance, especially a person who does the bidding of others and seems to have no will of their own.

PAHAHAHAHAHA! *clears throat* Now, this, this is what I think Stitch calls some true vengeance. Not only did he get to torture the man who did the same to him before, but made Adler a shadow of who he was before. A husk. Nothing really there. “Whatever it takes” indeed but for the opposite side now—a puppet with numbers for strings. Stitch did a good job in naming Cipher—I mean Adler. We don’t even know how far Adler shall go now, will the CIA have to kill him or will they be able to recondition him when/if they capture him? Will he even be the same? Nope.

Why do I find that definition funny? Well, I think Adler had a multitude of reasons for naming Bell, Bell. Just like Stitch did with Adler. And not just the obvious reasons of him ringing the bell at them to condition them as he was torturing/brainwashing them(we love Pavlov!). Let’s get the first definition out the way.

bell /bel/: a hollow object, typically made of metal and having the shape of a deep inverted cup widening at the lip, that sounds a clear musical note when struck, typically by means of a clapper inside.

I wonder if anyone knows where I’m going with this or I’m starting to seem like a madwoman.

I’m going to ask you guys to focus on the word, “hollow” for me. Hollow, as in not filled. There’s something in the bell alright, but it doesn’t do enough to fill out the hole does it? Like Cipher is now made a husk. Bell was made hollow—only a little bit filled with the little memory they got back before they were killed(maybe they weren’t, let’s just go with it for now). Or perhaps just a bit filled with false memories of Vietnam, of camaraderie. I doubt Stitch did anything like that.

Also, Bell is just an instrument for someone else to play. Play the right tune, and the Russian agent will do anything for you. Right, Adler?

Cipher is the puppet, just doing what he’s told when they give the orders. No will or thought. Just how Stitch likes it.

I’m not done yet! Second definition!

bell /bel/: a. A stroke on a hollow metal instrument to mark the hour.

b. The time indicated by the striking of this instrument, divided into half hours.

Another play on words of Bell being struck(jabbed with needles) to do what needs to be done. But it also represents the limited time that Bell has. Bell needs to help to stop Perseus and quick, Adler will make them go faster if needed by putting the highest dosage as possible without killing them to accomplish it. Or maybe it’s also a representation that Bell does actually have limited time left—Park did say MK—Ultra will be hard on the body physically and mentally. Perhaps MK-Ultra was slowly killing us and Adler just decided to give us a mercy kill while he was at it as he “tied up our strings.”( @cryinginthebackseat does point this out in their Adler/Bell story, go check it out!)

Let’s focus on the instrument thing again though, but back to Cipher. The third definition!

ci·pher /ˈsīfər/ : a continuous sounding of an organ pipe, caused by a mechanical defect.

Oh man. Sounds like Adler is being played like an instrument too, continuously due to all the numbers and how the numbers can be everywhere if one is in the armed forces since they all use earpieces. Interesting shape too, a pipe. Long and thin and has two holes, a beginning and an end but which one is the top or the bottom? The beginning and the end? We don’t know how far Adler will go like this—as Cipher. It will eventually come to a point, where something squeezes within the pipe and manages to get out. Maybe. Or maybe Adler is just forever defected, like the definition suggests.

Not quite Adler anymore and just Cipher.

Just like Bell will always just be Bell. The other self practically gone.

It seems these two will always somehow reflect and affect one another, whether one is dead or not.

I swear I love Adler, so don’t mind some of my dark humor about him and this situation he’s in. It is pretty funny. At least to me. Stitch is funny. And petty.

Hope you guys enjoyed!

@salvija @smokeywhalee @quizzyisdone @efingart @samatedeansbroccoli @weirdoartist21 @tr1ppylady

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yes-ihavealwaysbeengreen · 4 years ago

Text

The Fight - Little Sparrow Series Oneshot

A/N: I took a much looser approach with the prompt for Writer Wednesday. :) Thank you for reading, reblogging, and commenting.

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x F! Reader x Ellaria Sand

Warnings: 18 + for language, canon typical violence, mentions of depression, wanting to die, angst with a resolution.

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

“You are an absolute FOOL!” Ellaria shouts from the entrance to the training yards. Men and women scattered in all directions at the fire in her eyes. Ellaria is a fearsome woman to behold on an average day but when she is angry, beware.

Oberyn scoffs and stabs his spear into the ground, leaning on it gently. “What have I done now?” Ellaria stomps the rest of the way towards him and grabs onto his jaw harshly.

“What have you done now?! Think, you always claim to be the smartest man in the room, the most cunning, the red viper,” her words dripping with sarcasm.

“I truly do not know,” he pushes her hand away, but the viper is not quick enough, and her hand smacks across his face. The spear clatters the ground, and Oberyn reaches for his cheek, holding it and staring at her with wide eyes.

“How dare you?” she growls, “I should have hit you harder! Maybe then you would remember what you have done to our Sparrow.”

Oberyn furrows his brow for a moment before realization slowly dawns on his face. Memories of a conversation with you from the night before. His belly was still full of wine, his head a bit hazy as he spared with a newer soldier.

**********

“Oberyn, please,” you begged, standing outside the ring used for fighters. His moves were sloppy; he was going to get himself hurt. “Please, my love, come to bed.”

“Go!” he barks at you, narrowly missing a blow to the head from the other wooden sword of his opponent. “Is that all you got?!” he shouts, edging the other man on. His expression hardens, and his sword moves quicker, slashing left and right against Oberyn.

You know what day it is—the reason for his drinking to excess, calling upon everyone for a fight. The children and Ellaria had been sent away for the evening, and you wished for her soft touch around your shoulders. Oberyn had begged you to stay, claiming only to need your body to suppress the grief he wishes to drown in. “Oberyn,” you call again, quieter, the tears beginning to swell in your eyes.

He turns towards you, and that’s all the distraction his opponent needed. The other man strikes him in the chest, knocking him off balance, the spear toppling from his hand. He barrels, rolls around your prince, and picks up the spear pointing the sharp blade against his neck. “Yield,” he growls, eyes hard, and Oberyn just watches his chest panting, the steel prick of his spear against his throat.

The red viper does not lose.

“Yield,” he repeats, pressing the blade tighter to the prince’s throat, drawing a drop of blood, staining the golden robes.

Oberyn lifts his head, and more blood trickles down his neck, “never,” he growls, voice dripping with venom. “Kill me,” he orders, “strike me down, live in infamy as the man who killed the Red Viper.”

“NO!” you step forward, reaching a hand out to wrap around the spear with one hand and pushing your lover down with the other. “That is quite enough for one night.” His opponent drops the spear to the ground and stands above you, bowing his head.

“My apologies, my Lady, my Prince,” he bows to you both before turning to leave the training yard. All others have left for the night, and it’s as silent as the grave as you turn back to Oberyn.

You can feel his eyes burning on yours, and you avoid them, instead choosing to focus on the golden robe. “You’re covered in blood, my Prince,” you go to unbutton the cinch at the top, but his hand tightens around your own.

“Don’t touch me,” his voice is stern, and he throws your hand aside, standing up. You remain kneeling before him, head down; he’s never used that tone with you. The anger and malice slicing through your heart like a dagger. “How dare you.”

Your head snaps up, and you feel the strength returning as you stand, hands trembling with your anger. “How could I? Do you expect me to just stand on the sidelines and watch you die?! Hurt yourself?!”

“I had it under control,” he takes a threatening step towards you, his finger coming up to your face, “you disgraced me.”

You take a shuddering breath, “I disgraced you because I love you? Explain that to me, Oberyn. I love you with my entire heart, my soul.”

He scoffs and takes a shaky step away, his fingers fumbled with the buttons of his robe, throwing it towards you. It bounces off your chest, and you catch it in your hands, the blood staining your fingers. “You’re not my wife,” he tosses over his shoulder as he reaches for the goblet of wine, filling up his cup, “why don’t you find some other cock to fuck you tonight.”

You ball the fabric up in your hand and feel your heart shatter in two, “I don’t take other lovers beside you and Ellaria; you know that.”

He laughs, “well, it is not my cock that will fill your cunt tonight. I’ll go to the brothel and find another woman who won’t disgrace me in battle and will keep her mouth filled with my cock instead of nagging me about what I do.”

You watch him walk away out towards the front of the Palace, each step putting another nail in the coffin of your heart. Oberyn did not visit the brothels since you joined his little harem, Ellaria, and you being more than enough for him. Ellaria had warned this could happen tonight, on this day when the memory of his sister, Elia, and her children’s deaths are reawoken like gaping wounds.

“Daemon,” you call into the shadows knowing the Prince’s guard is never far, “follow him, please,” you whisper, and he nods. His footsteps retreating after Oberyn.

You walk through the quiet halls of the Water Gardens and towards the washing room near the river. And there you stay until the morning light streams through. Your hands scrubbed raw with the force you used to remove the blood from the Golden robes. The fabric still scrunched between your fingers as you lay your head in a basket of blankets ready to be washed.

“My lady,” one of the servants presses her hand gently on your arm, and you blink, sitting up suddenly, “are you alright?”

“Where’s Oberyn?” you ask, almost frightened to know.

“The Prince returned only a few hours ago; the Maester gave him something to make him sleep. He should be up in a few hours right as rain.” The young woman smiles at you, and you cringe at the kink in your neck. “My Lady, please beg pardon, but you don’t look so well, should we call the Maester?”

“No,” you reply quickly, “no, please don’t. I just need to rest.” You move towards the door, planning to lock yourself in your private room for the rest of the day.

“What about the Prince’s robe?” she probes gently, and you stiffen, glancing down at the fabric still clutched between your hands. “Would you like us to wash them?” You nod, feeling hollow, memories of the night before flashing before your eyes. She gasps when you hand the robe over and looks at your hands, clutching them. “My Lady, your hands….”

You grab them back and clutch them to your chest, “please,” you close your eyes, feeling the tears ready to flow, “please just forget about them.” When you open, she looks sad but nods.

“Your secret is safe with me,” she whispers back, and you give her a slight nod, going off to your room to rest.

The rest of the day passes uneventful, many come with offers of food and a bath, but you ignore their calls. With the last of your strength, you’d pushed the dresser against the door so no one could enter. “Sparrow?” Ellaria’s voice chimes from the other side and you tremble at the concern in her voice, “they said you had not eaten all day; what is the matter?” She tries to turn the handle, but the door is locked, and you hear her shouting orders at someone, probably to unlock it.

She twists the nob, and it turns, but the door doesn’t budge. “Sparrow! Come to the door, are you alright?!” she sounds frantic, and you want to get up, but your energy is gone. The Prince’s words playing over and over in your head doubts swimming over everything you’ve built with him.

The curtains towards the balcony sway in the breeze, and you hear footsteps coming from the window. “She’s bared the door, Mother!” Nym shouts, pushing the dresser out of the way and coming back to sit beside you, putting her hand on your cheek, “mama? Are you alright?”

“Nym, leave us,” Ellaria commands, and Nym nods, leaning down to kiss your forehead before standing and leaving quickly, pulling the door shut behind her. Ellaria lays down on the bed beside you and puts her hand to your cheek, kissing you softly. “What’s the matter, Little Sparrow?” You break down and cry, her pushing you tight to her breast and running her hand over your head as you tell her everything.

“He told me I’m not his wife. That, it’s not his cock that will fill my cunt. He’ll go to the brothel and find another woman who won’t disgrace him in battle and will keep her mouth filled with his cock instead of nagging him about what he does.”

Her hand stills, and her voice is tight, “he said that to you?” You nod, letting out a hiccup from your sobs. “Has he come and spoke to you today?” You shake your head no, and her voice drops lower, almost deadlier, “I’ll be back.” She disentangles herself from your arms, and you watch her straighten her spine, her hands clenched into fists at her side.

**********

Oberyn clutches his head and looks ashamed at the ground. “Ah, now he remembers,” Ellaria taunts, “you are lucky she is even still here! I would have let you rot before I let you talk to me that way. Now, go and make this right before you make the biggest mistake of your life.”

“I wouldn’t blame her if she never forgave me.”

“Oh no, you do not get to feel sorry for yourself.” Ellaria waggles a finger at him as he lifts his eyes to meet the fire in her gaze. “Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want her to stay? To warm your bed? Give you children, and take care of you?”

“Yes.”

“Then go talk to her,” Ellaria crosses her arms over her chest and glares down at him, “or you will lose two paramours today.”

He stands and moves past her to your chambers, where he idles outside the door. Shame filling him at the words he hurled at you, like verbal daggers. He knocks on the door, unsurprised not to hear an answer. He twists the knob and walks inside. “Little Sparrow,” he calls out to you, hating how your body tenses up turned away from him on the bed. He closes the door behind him and comes to sit behind you on the bed, reaching a hand out to your waist.

You push his hand away, and he gasps at the rough touch of your palm. He is quickly reaching across you to pull your hands into his own. “What happened? Who did this to you?” He would kill them.

“You did,” you whisper broken, “I tried to get the blood out of your robe you threw at me,” you raise your eyes to meet his. The warmth is missing from his brown eyes as he stares down hard at your hands.

“You washed my robe?”

“What else was I supposed to do? Find another cock to fill my cunt,” the words taste bitter on your tongue, and you rip your hands from his own, clutching them to your chest. “How was the brothel?”

“I don’t know. I woke up fully clothed there this morning, Daemon guarding the door. He said I demanded whores to be brought to me, but I sent them all away.”

“Why?”

“Because no one is you, my love.” He reaches his hand out, and you fall to your back as he hovers over you. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers, “I begged you to stay, and then I...I didn’t mean any of it. I was angry and sad.”

“You wanted to die, Oberyn.” Your words hanging in the air between you.

“I always wish I had died instead of her,” he whispers, “Every day I see Elia in my head, her voice begging me to move forward. This is the first time in two years I felt that way. It used to be every day.”

“What changed two years ago?”

“I met you.” Your heart pounds, and he moves closer, laying some of his weight down on you, “I met a Little Sparrow that took my heart and made it soar to the heavens where she flew. You,” his voice cracks with emotion, “are the love of my life. My reason for living. I’m sorry I lost my way.”

You cup his cheek and brush the stray tears, “have you found your way home to me?”

“I always know which way to fly home, Little Sparrow; you light the way.”

“I love you, Oberyn Martell. I forgive you, but please don’t leave me alone in this world.”

“Never, my love, never.”

#Little Sparrow Series #Oberyn Martell #Ellaria Sand #Female Reader #Game of Thrones #Oberyn Martell x F! Reader x Ellaria Sand #Autumn Writes #Writer Wednesday

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the-cult-of-russo · 4 years ago

Text

Hues of Gold

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Request : do a billy russo x reader with the reader having an art job and them meeting due to that somehow

Warnings: none

A/N: Here it is, my first Billy x Reader. I'll be getting to the prompts in my inbox too but still feel free to send me more requests. You don't need to pick from the prompt lists, if you have an idea then just send it on over. Nothing is off limits and I write for every type of Billy. S1 Billy, S2 Billy, pre-show Billy, all the AU Billy's you can think of lmao Gimme them all.

You tilted your head a little, eyes sweeping across the paint on the easel in front of you. The piece was coming together nicely. You'd started at humble beginnings with your artwork as a street artist. You hadn't been able to afford art school and you didn't feel like people needed to if they just felt it. And you did. You'd been a hit with your expressionist art and before you knew it, you were getting wealthy clients and more money. Now you had your own little studio with an apartment on top. It wasn't flashy but it was yours and you loved it. The work you thought was good enough for your new clients would go up on your website, they'd buy them and then you'd send them off to their new home. It was simple and you got to spend every day painting to your heart's content.

You bit your lip as you mixed two golds together to get the perfect shade you were after. Some of your pieces were weirder than others, others being more realistic or using average colors. Some of them were darker in theme or used more vibrant colors with looser shapes. It was all dependent on how you felt when making it. The one currently being worked on wasn't finished by any means. Oil paint often required many layers and getting it to dry in between time. But if someone was to gauge your mood by this one, well… they'd say you were most likely sexually frustrated. It was a naked woman laying on her back on rumpled sheets, just her torso and a bit of her leg to leave the rest to the imagination. Her male counterpart was pressed up against her as the bodies melded together, his hand gripping her thigh. The colors you'd picked for this were hues of red, orange, yellow and gold, making it look like the couple were set ablaze. The epitome of passion. It was coming along nicely.

Your work cell rang breaking you from your thoughts. You gave your hand a quick wipe on the ratty towel next to you as you picked it up, answering with your full name.

"Hi, I'm lookin' for some art and I've heard you're the girl to go to," a smooth voice came through the phone. The fact that someone recommended this guy to you made you smile. It always did. It meant people were pleased with your work.

"I am. Have you checked the website? That's where my current pieces are," you murmured softly.

"I did but… I haven't really found the one yet. And a friend of mine tells me you've got a bunch of exclusive stuff at your studio," he replied.

You glanced around your studio. He wasn't wrong entirely although you wouldn't call them exclusives. You'd call them rejects if you were honest. Your new clientele were more demanding and it made you second guess your pieces more often than you'd like to admit. This led to many of them finding a home in your studio instead. You were unsure who the man's friend was as typically you didn't have people come to the studio. It was a very rare occurrence and you couldn't imagine him being interested in any of these pieces. But a customer was a customer.

"You're more than welcome to come down and look at them. I'm not sure you'll find what you're looking for though, I've kept them offline because they're in the reject pile," you snorted wryly. His smooth chuckle was soothing as it hit your ears and you nibbled on your lower lip.

"Well I'll be the judge of that," you didn't know what he looked like but you could hear the smirk in his voice. You told him the address before hanging up.

You were a little nervous of someone coming into your space and judging the art you'd already deemed not worth putting up for sale, but you decided to roll with it. It was too late now and it wouldn't be a good look for your business to tell the guy he couldn't come. You decided to continue the piece you were working on to keep your mind occupied, having no idea just when the man would decide to show, or if he would at all.

It was an hour later when the large wooden door knocked and you called out that it was open. You stood up and wiped your hands on the towel again, not that it helped much. You were sure you had paint on every part of you, it was half the fun of making art. The man walked in and you were a little surprised by just how handsome he was. He was dressed to the nines in a suit with his hair slicked back, the sides shorter than the top. He certainly looked like your usual clients but you couldn't remember any of your fancier clients ever bothering to call you, never mind actually coming to see your other pieces.

The smile he shot you was disarming and you replied in kind as you walked over to him. You reached out your hand to shake with his before retracting it rapidly when you noticed just how much of a poor job the towel had done. He seemed amused if his chuckle was anything to go by and you snorted.

"Uh… welcome. Feel free to look around. I haven't really got prices for these since I wasn't gonna sell them so I'll settle for whatever," you shrugged with a smile. Anything was better than nothing that you were getting by keeping them here. Besides, you were pretty sure he wouldn't even like any of them.

You didn't want to crowd him as he looked around so you went right back to your easel and sat on the stool. He walked around leisurely, stopping at each piece and looking at them. Your eyes kept flitting to him without meaning to, you weren't sure if it was how attractive he was or the nerves of having someone assessing your work this way. Maybe both. He didn't strike you as an art kind of guy honestly. Most of the rich clients weren't, they just wanted a statement piece for their walls for people to talk about. There wasn't anything wrong with that of course, but you'd be a liar if you said you didn't miss it back as a street artist when people bought a piece simply because it spoke to them and they loved it. Onwards and upwards though, right?

"So… who's the friend? That told you I had stuff here?" You asked after a moment, unable not to because your curiosity was getting the better of you. He glanced over at you from where he stood and smiled.

"Curtis," he replied. Your eyebrows raised a little with that information. You'd met Curtis back when you were a street artist and he bought something for the group he was running. He was a nice guy and he checked in every so often with you. You wouldn't say you were friends but you really liked him and you had some good conversations. You couldn't imagine Curtis being friends with this man though.

Noticing the shock on your face, the man chuckled.

"We served together when I was in the marines. He's a good guy, one of my closest friends," he supplied.

"You were a marine?" You hadn't meant to ask like it was such an absurd notion but it came out anyway. You just hadn't expected it He looked amused though and he nodded.

"Yeah. When I got out I set up my own private military firm, ex military people with no purpose. I give 'em somethin' to fight for. A brotherhood. We're doin' pretty well," he had a bright smile on his face, gesturing to his suit when he said they were doing well and you found yourself smiling back.

"You must be really proud. It's amazing that you're doing that for them. I mean… I never served or anything but Curtis tells me about some of the guys from his group sometimes. I bet you really help them," you said sincerely. You had no clue what it must be like to serve and you knew you didn't have the stomach for it. But some of the things Curtis had told you had made you sad and you were impressed that the man had set up something like this on his own. Something to help others just like him. He shot you another smile before going back to looking at the artwork and you couldn't take your eyes off him.

Figuring he'd catch you looking at him, you forced yourself to focus on adding more gold to the art you were working on. You weren't sure how long had passed until he spoke again and it startled you. You'd almost forgotten he was there.

"This one is… interesting. I like this one," he mused, eyes on the work on your easel as he stood beside you. Your cheeks tinged a little pink at the phrasing he used but you recovered quickly.

"Thanks. I like this one too but… it won't end up on the website. The last erotic piece I put on there apparently offended people," you said with a wry grin. He laughed, the sound low and short but his eyes went to you then. Holy shit, his eyes are… wow.

"Well it definitely doesn't offend me. How long will it take to finish?" He asked as his obsidian orbs went back to the painting.

"A couple of days at most. It's almost done and then it needs to dry and be sealed," it was nice talking about your work with someone, even as mundane as when it would be complete. You missed that interaction since you got the studio.

"I'll take it. How much?" he flashed you a smile that made your stomach flip around on you and you bit your lip with a smile back.

"That's up to you," you shrugged. You never bothered putting prices on pieces you knew you wouldn't sell and you hadn't expected to sell this piece. Even the prices on the website felt too much for you but it was born from the first wealthy clients and what they thought your pieces were worth. You just rolled with it, it wasn't like they'd miss it, right?

He hummed, the sound deep in his throat as he got out his wallet. You mused he must want it mailed to him when it was done for him to pay now rather than later but you were happy it was cash and not card. He handed you some bills and you counted it quickly, eyes widening as you blinked up at him.

"I can't take this. This is more than the pieces online," you frowned, holding out the money back to him. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, shrugging his shoulders.

"You said it was up to me," he replied with an easy smirk. Would you really sit there and argue with him about getting more money for it? No. But you were shocked he thought it was worth that much.

"I… thank you, sir," you smiled, stuffing the money into your pocket.

"Billy," he clarified, smirk still in place.

"Billy," you corrected with a shy smile. Something glittered in his dark eyes as you tested the sound of his name and he raked his teeth over his lower lip. Despite the fact you'd already given him your full name on the phone, you gave him your first name again and he mimicked you as he tested it out. Why did it sound so good coming from his mouth?

You cleared your throat, his intense stare was getting a little too much and you stood, walking over to the big table against the wall, grabbing a pen and pad.

"You can leave your details, I can mail it to you when it's done," you handed them to him and he twirled the pen around in his long fingers with ease.

"I'll leave my number. I'd like to come pick it up when it's done, if that's okay?" He asked as he scribbled his name and digits down.

"Are you sure? It's not an issue shipping it out," you replied as he passed you back the pen and pad.

"I'm sure. It gives me an excuse to see you again," he smirked, dark eyes boring into yours as your cheeks turned pink. He chuckled and with that he was out the door and you were left stood there gaping where he went. Did he really just…?

You stood there a moment longer, a smile working its way onto your face before you shook your head and sat back down at your easel. You glanced at the painting before setting to work and getting it finished. You couldn't wait for it to be done so Billy would come back. He was intriguing and you found yourself thinking of him as you continued your work.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #the punisher

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