#but if i post this maybe i'll hold myself accountable better!

[lost-in-fandoms]

sort of medieval AU in which you don't ascend to the throne by birthright but because you've proven yourself. Daniel had been on the way to become king but then Max had arrived and taken his place. Now Max is king and Daniel is the knight closest to him, made confidant, protector and lover.

After a tourney in which Daniel competed and Max did not, Max helps him take off his armor, piece by piece, gently helping him bathe afterwards.

[roseyodditea]

Shooting Practice - Boothill x gn! Reader

Summary -> Cowboy teaches you how to shoot.

Warnings -> Mentions of a gun (no actual violence)

A/N -> Fun fact, this is the first thing I've ever posted. Created an account just for this. Feedback and suggestions welcome! I'll figure out how to format better later lmao

***************

“Hold it steady” The deep southern drawl rang gently right next to your ear, his metal hand cold against your wrist. “Back up and let me do it myself,” You try to not grit your teeth, the cowboy once again far too… overbearing.

Boothill let out a scoff of annoyance, watching you hold the gun shakily in your hand, but he did back up, crossing his arms. You stood with your legs far too close together, arms too overextended, aim entirely off. It was abysmal to watch for the gunslinger. There was a sharp crack in the air, followed by your groan of frustration. 

You placed the gun down on the table in front of you, taking off the hearing protection that hugged your head too tightly. Boothill chucked, “Told ya s-” “Don’t.” You glared at the man, that stupid cocky smirk on his face. “Maybe you’re just an awful teacher.” Boothill stepped close, grabbing his spare pistol off of the table and slipping it into your hands again. “Nah. C’mon. Let’s try again” He stood behind you, too close yet again. The smell of motor oil, gunpowder, and the cheap cologne attempting to cover up the stench of the oil invaded your nostrils. “Feet shoulder width apart” He says, waiting for you to adjust your stance.

“You don’t have to go through the steps so slowly” You practically growl, frustrated.

“I’ll stop goin’ so slow when you get it right” He growled right back, matching your less than thrilled energy.

“Don’t sass me while I’m holding a gun, Boothill.”

“We both know I’m quicker, sugar” He chuckled. “Feet shoulder width apart, shootin’ foot back, relax, and don’t lock your elbows” He guides rather gently for a man you’ve watched gun down IPC without a second thought. “Eyes on the target, deep breath, and when you’re ready, squeeze the trigger.” You took a moment to go through the checklist. Feet apart, dominant foot back, relaxed… Boothill’s hand on your waist, making sure your torso wasn’t turned. You could feel the chill of the metal, hear the crackling of his synthetic voice box, his body breathing out of habit rather than a need. He was paying very close attention to your stance, and you could feel it. You could feel his gaze, his crosshair eyes locked onto you. “Stop staring. You’re making me nervous.” You sigh out through clenched teeth.

“Take the shot.” That was the only answer you were going to get out of him as he didn’t listen, only kept looking at you expectantly. 

There was a crack, followed by a clink, the empty beer can that was setup on the table being knocked over.

“Oh my god! I did it!” You placed the gun down and excitedly turned to Boothill, who had a huge grin on his face. Without even thinking, you wrapped your arms around the cowboy who you had spent the last half hour trying not to slap. It only took a split second of hesitation before he wrapped his arms around your waist. “Can’t believe you actually hit it.” He teased, chuckling softly.

“Just be proud of me.” You plead softly, resting your head on his metal chest, feeling it grow slightly warmer, the once quiet hum of cooling fans getting louder.

“With a stance that fudgin’ shaky I’m shocked you-” “Boothill!” You smack his chest, the soft sound echoing in his chest compartment. His hands move to rest on your hips as he smirks at you.

“Fine fine… I’m proud of you, sugar.” He says in a shockingly genuine tone. “We can work on makin’ you a bit quicker in the future. You take that long linin’ up your shot and you’ll end up dead.” You didn’t respond. You didn’t want to. You were so used to the cowboy being loud and brash, but now he was being soft and caring… borderline tolerable, a new record for the man. Boothill always said he was a dead man walking, but right now he seemed more alive than ever. 

“Thank you for doing this.” You said after a long beat of silence, a slight crackle in your voice as you tried to swallow the emotions you thought you were so good at hiding. 

“Of course.” He replies just as softly. “I want to make sure you’ll be alright when I’m out on bounties” “You say that like you’re going to come back.” You scoff, trying not to make it sound like you wanted him to. 

Boothill looked away, swiping a hand down his face and letting out a breath, adjusting his hat before looking back into your eyes. “Well… this planet is out of IPC space and has good liquor. Pretty easy to hitch a ride to and from. And it has you.” He adds on, trying to make it sound like he wasn’t hung up on the word ’you’. 

“I’d like for you to come back.” You confess and before you can even take a moment to process the words either of you had just said, cold lips were on yours, metal hands on either sides of your face, the cooling fans in his cyborg body spinning impossibly faster as he pulled away, looking at you in shock.

“I think I’d like to come back to you, sugar”

***************

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good To Say Goodbye pt 5

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

warnings: cursing, mentions of miscarriage/stillborn

part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I part 7 I part 8 I part 9 I part 10

F1 Masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

instagram

I couldn't put this off anymore. I had to talk to Logan about the night in the delivery room and I had to tell Lando about my reoccurring dreams. I know I technically haven't done anything wrong and I haven't cheated but something about my dreams have been feeling a little too real. My feelings for Logan might be too real.

No, stop that Y/N, Logan treated you like shit, there's no way you possibly like him. No. You're not that naive , you know better than to have feelings for a man that treated you like shit. But he also gave you a kid. A kid you so desperately wanted, one you needed to have, to love, to hold, to care for, to cherish after my first born passed.

I'd gotten off the phone with Logan shortly before Lando re-entered our room.

"She's finally back down, her pacifier fell out of her mouth." all Lando said before he got back into bed, trying to cuddle me. I felt so awful with myself and felt like I didn't deserve his comforting touch so I scooted away and attempted to get out of bed.

"Hey what's wrong? Where are you going?" a hint of sadness in his voice but that was quickly covered up with a simple clearing of his throat.

"Shower. Me and Lily are gonna hang out. Maybe you and Oscar could have Yelena for the day? I know Oscar has been begging to take her out and be the favorite uncle but I don't trust him alone with my daughter." a chuckle leaves my lips as I try not to sound nervous.

Why is the thought of having a civil conversation about the well being of my daughter with her father making me feel so icky and nervous? Part of me longs to have a healthy relationship with Logan, I mean he was my everything. Logan made me believe in love, he gave me 2 wonderful pregnancies even if I'll be able to never meet my other baby.

I quickly gathered things that I would need for my shower, a McLaren t-shirt, a pair of jeans, a bra, underwear, my Bose speaker, and a pair of slides before I made my way into the bathroom. I turned the shower on hot before I set everything down and got all my hair products that I'd need.

I took my H/C hair out of the bun I'd just had up prior, letting it fall past my shoulders in a curly nappy mess. I loved my hair don't get me wrong, but all the products I needed for it and how fast it would get nappy would sometimes be too much for me.

Stepping into the hot shower, I let it flow over me and letting my hair get soaked before I started lathering on some shampoo. While I was working the shampoo on my scalp, I couldn't help but imagine a life where Logan and I were endgame, a life where we didn't have split custody of our daughter, a life where when me and Yelena went to the paddock we were going into the Williams garage to cheer for Daddy instead of going into McLaren to cheer for mommy's new boyfriend, a life where little Theo James Sargeant was still alive.

Thinking about little Theo always made me emotional, I couldn't ever imagine a moment in the future where I could talk about him and not want to sob and quite frankly, I don't want their to ever be a time where it doesn't. I'll feel like I forgot about him and that's the last thing I want.

Maybe if Theo was alive none of this would've happened, me and Logan would still be happy, we could have 2 kids instead of 1. If Theo were here all my problems would be solved, I would be happy, Logan would be happy, but I wouldn't be with Lando. Life had its ups and downs, I wouldn't trade my relationship with Lando for the world.

It felt like I was lathering my scalp while being deep in thought for hours but in reality, when I snapped out of my trance I heard the ending of Taylor Swift's All Too Well (10 minute version). I quickly rinsed the shampoo out before quickly conditioning and brushing my hair out. I put my hair up in a little bun to allow my hair to soak up as much conditioner as possible while I scrubbed the rest of my body clean, I decided that today would be one of my ‘everything’ shower days so I also grabbed Lando’s razor that he has in the shower and shaved my legs and armpits.

Once I was done shaving, I took my hair out of the bun and rinsed the conditioner out while simultaneously raking my hands through my hair to get rid of the knots that formed. Once that was done I turned off the shower, wrapped my velcro towel around my body and wrapped my hair in a towel wrap. I’d looked at the time on my phone while trying to change the song, only to realize that I’m supposed to meet Logan at a little coffee shop that was 10 minutes away, in 20 minutes and I wasn’t ready yet.

I’d quickly a no makeup makeup look before quickly drying off my body and throwing my clothes on. I took my hair out the wrap and quickly, but efficiently worked some product in my hair to make sure I still had the curl and bounce when it dried.

I was so busy rushing out of the bathroom that I almost ran right into Lando who was holding Yelena.

“Oh there’s mommy!” Lando says while he points in my direction while simultaneously poking Yelena’s tummy “We were just coming to say bye to you. Oscar is waiting in my car” a smile appears on my face. Lando’s been so good to me and how do I repay him? I’m going behind his back to talk to my ex and baby dad about reoccurring dreams I’ve had about us being a happy family after our little “moment” in the delivery room.

I place a quick sweet kiss against Lando’s lips before I place a big fat one on Yelena’s head “Sorry I took long in the bathroom. Took an ‘everything’ shower, you know how it is.” a small chuckle leaves his lips before we hear a honk from outside “You guys should get going before Uncle Oscar gets mad” I say while I also place delicate pokes on Yelena’s tummy. A quick nod, faint goodbye and a goodbye kiss from Lando was what I got before he left.

I checked my phone again, I had 5 minutes to get to a coffee shop that was 10 minutes away. I quickly shot Logan a text saying that I was gonna be about 5 minutes behind schedule because I got caught in ‘traffic’. I figured it was believable when Logan shot me a ‘All good, I’ll be here when you arrive’ text.

——

When I’d arrived at the little coffee shop I spotted Logan in a quiet corner. He quickly spotted me because he’d basically leaped out of his seat to welcome me.

“Hey, I figured since you were gonna be late, I’d just order your drink for you. I got you a y/f/d, I hope that’s still your favorite.” the nervous smile that sprawled across his face made my heart clench. He was so cute, oh how badly I wanted to grab his face and pull him close to me. I shook my head to rid the thoughts in my brain.

“Yep, once my favorite always my favorite.” I graciously took the drink from his hands before we both sat down. We sat in silence for what felt like forever before Logan started the conversation.

“So, I called you here because, oh man, how do I say this? I asked you to be here because,” he let out a shaky breath before continuing “because ever since that night in the delivery room, I haven’t stopped dreaming of you. About us, all of us being one big happy family. Me, You and Yelena just living the life and I can’t help the yearn for that. I know you want nothing to do with me but” he placed his hand on top mine that rested on my drink “I know I fucked up big time all those months ago, and I know you hate me and want nothing to do with me, but please, give me one more chance. One more chance to prove to you that I’m a better, changed man. To prove to you that I’ll do anything it takes to be the best father and husband I can be. I love you and Yelena, will all of my heart, soul and bones I love you.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, I can’t tell him I’ve had the same dreams and that I feel that way too. The universe has a weird way of trying to get people together.

I pull my drink up to my lips which caused his hand to fall off mine. “Logan, I- We can’t- I’m with” I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath before I tried to continue “Logan, I love you more than you’ll ever know. You gave me a beautiful daughter and a life I never thought I’d have. I owe you so much but that debt I owed you went straight down the drain the moment you said that I should’ve killed myself, the moment you said I was another piece of ass to you and the moment” a few tears slipped “The moment you said you could impregnate ANY woman.”

I placed my drink down before grabbing a napkin from the dispenser on the table to wipe the fallen tears off my face. A beat or two passed before anyone said anything.

“Do you ever think,” Logan waited a beat before the continued, almost as if he was regretting what he was about to say “Do you ever think that if Theo were still here, none of this would’ve happened? That we’d be happy and together, that Yelena would be able to meet her big brother?”

I could see the tears forming in Logan’s eyes and the tears that once stopped falling came right back.

A choked sob left my throat at the mention of our late son. My body shook with so much pain and sadness that I hadn’t notice Logan left his seat. Not at least until I felt his big strong arms wrap around my body in a tight embrace. I could feel his body shake in his own quiet sobs. We stayed like this for what felt like hours, just in an embrace, sobbing, in public, where everyone is staring.

“Y/N?” Oh no, I recognized that voice. We pulled apart at the mention of my name turning to see Lando pushing a stroller and Oscar following suit “I thought you said you were hanging out with Lily?” Lando sounded suspicious as he looked between Logan and Me observing both of us red eyed. “Why are you both crying? Baby, are you okay?”

“Oh! Yes! Haha, Lily was running late so I grabbed a drink and saw Logan here and then we started talking about Theo” I said wiping the tears from under my eyes again

Oscar’s eyes closed and his face contorted in its own way of saying ‘oh no’

“That’s so funny babe because” Lily walked in “We actually ran into Lily and she mentioned nothing about your guys’ plans. Actually said that she’s been trying to set up a day where you guys could spend the day out and shop and have girls night but said that you kept postponing it. So why are you here with Logan and why’d you lie?”

The tension between us so thick you could hack it with a butcher knife a few times and it wouldn’t cut.

I’ve been caught in lies before but this one, I don’t know how I’m getting out of it.

“I promise I will tell you everything Lando, just not here”

Lando turned and whispered some things to Oscar and Lily whom nodded in agreement before handing them the stroller and the diaper bag and kissing Yelena goodbye.

He’s taken on such a natural fatherly role in her life that to the outside world, Yelena was his daughter and that’s what I admired about him, that’s why I fell in love with him and that’s why I really, really can’t lose him.

“We’re leaving.” was all Lando said before I whispered a goodbye to Logan and followed him out the door and to his McLaren.

The car ride home was awkward and silent. It hadn’t felt this bad in a car alone with him since I told him all those months ago about what happened with me and Logan. After what felt like an eternity we finally arrived at our house. The walk inside and into our bedroom was also awkward and silent.

Oh how I hated when Lando was mad at me.

“Why’d you lie?” it sounded cold, kinda made my heart break “Why were you out with Logan and why did you lie to me?”

“I-” I released a shaky breath “I met with Logan because” I was cut off

“Are you still in love with him?” betrayal and heartbreak coated Lando’s voice

“No! Absolutely not! Lando please don’t think like that!” I quickly walked over to him cupping his face and used my thumb to wipe a stray tear from his face

“I was with Logan because he wanted to talk about that night in the delivery room. He wanted to tell me that he’s been having dreams of us being a big happy family. He asked me what he could do to get me back, to win us back” the look in his eyes told me he believed what I was saying

“and what did you say?”

“I told him that after the way he treated me that I would never get back with him.” I felt him nod against my hands that were still holding his face before I wrapped them around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug feeling his arms wrap around my waist and squeezed tight.

I wanted to stay like this forever, wrapped up in his tight embrace. I felt like nothing bad could happen, I felt on top of the world and that’s how I wanted to stay, but all good things eventually come to an end.

The churn of my stomach is what pulled me away from Lando and I knew I was gonna be sick. I rushed myself to the bathroom before spilling my guts into the toilet. Lando quickly rushed in to hold my hair back and rub my back.

“I’ll be back. I’m gonna grab you a bottle of water” Lando said before he quickly jogged to the kitchen.

I’ve been sick before, but this felt different. I’ve felt this kind of sickness before. Twice, actually. I rested my head in my arms on the toilet seat before frantically looking around in the sink cupboard. I had to search quickly before Lando came back, I couldn’t find it and I didn’t want to call for Lando. One more quick search of lifting things up is when I finally see them.

pregnancy tests.

-

HEY!! I MISSED YOU!

taglist

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti@dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy

[barrenclan]

I think that cormorantpaw is just father by the front bottoms but turned into a bisexual cat

I mean, that's not inaccurate.

I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat And he is screaming and crying for help And maybe halfway through, it has more to do with me killing him Then it ever did protecting myself

As soon as I come, you will probably forget my name I hope I fall asleep at the wheel and crash my car on the ride home Or I could just stay here

Haha, a Spongebob song. I worked that show last summer so I've heard these songs a lot. I like the idea, though!

Stay away from the future (Stay away... stay away from the future) (The end is coming, the end is coming!) No point in making plans (No point in making plans) It's all deranged (The end is coming, the end is coming!) (It's all deranged...) No control (No control...) (The end is coming, the end is coming! The end. is. coming!)

It doesn't seem to have been! The music tag is quite long at this point so it's pretty hard to find old songs.

When life loses meaning, there doesn't need to be a reason There doesn't need to be a reason, there doesn't need to be a reason

When you're stuck in this position It's like training for the wrong conditions You've been training for the wrong conditions

Aw gosh, that makes me a little bit sad. Beautiful song, though. I can hear her as a good voice claim for Slugpelt, too.

Any place is better Starting from zero, got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me, myself, I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car I got a plan to get us out of here I been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money Won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living

Thanks, I'm glad you like the comic! I'll check out the album.

Ooh, spooky!

Don't cry when lanterns fade Soon we'll be awakened But it breaks my heart to say No one will save you now

Listen closely for your sister's footsteps Lest you fade here all alone I have never seen a night this haunting In these streets of blood and bone

Wow, I'm honored to be the sponsor for your Tumblr account! I like this song for Cormorantpaw.

I was lost Calling out for someone just to come And show me love Teach me how to function as a modern man

Every night talking in my sleep to tell you That I lied and I was just pretending to keep Holding out for someone better

Very cool! And very Rainhaze and Ranger, or maybe early Prowl and Deepdark.

I made a post about this, a long time ago. Here it is:

Yeah, I can see it!

Pulling it up From the wet ground I couldn't stop Had to find out

Picking the scar I know it's the wrong call It won't bring the relief I know that I long for Some things are best left to rot Some things are best left to rot

I'm always taking song recommendations! It's like, at least 30% of my inbox at any given point in time.

Coyote I'm treading water Don't lead me Straight to the slaughter 

He's watching under the silver light  He's stalking now for a time that's right

[nenelonomh]

weekly reflection, week one

whilst looking at my calendar for the upcoming week, i realized that i had forgotten to reflect on my week at school. i planned this as a way to encourage better study habits and to hold myself accountable.

this week i studied 6 hours 27 minutes (measured on ypt). my sessions were 40 minutes - 2.5 hours long. i definitely want to build the habit of studying every day, where i can. even if it's just for 20 minutes before school starts.

on monday, i went out with my sister after school. school was horribly exhausting but i made sure to honour our monday tradition. i think we're going to start hanging out more sporadically instead of each week monday. when i got home on monday i was so exhausted and i didn't do any work.

on tuesday, i had training after school. we did a high intensity circuit - which was actually super fun. since my friend gem had tutoring at the same time, we studied together in the refectory for 40 minutes. then, i caught transport to my friends house and went to karate. i got home ~8:00 pm, which is super late for me - but i managed to shower and get ready for the next day.

wednesday morning i had another training session: a lower body weights session. my legs were so sore the rest of the week, but i managed to beat a lot of my records! on wednesday afternoon i simply went home and tried to study.

something that i have noticed this week is that after school i need a break. otherwise, i feel horribly overwhelmed and unable to do any work. i've been looking into breathing exercises - to calm myself and reset before i begin my afternoon study.

(the reason that i have to study so hard right now is because my exams are in week 6, which means that i only have 4 more weeks to learn and revise everything.)

on thursday i was lucky enough to get dropped off to the train station, instead of catching the bus. on thursday afternoon after school i went home and studied. this was the day that i achieved 2.5 hours.

on friday, i organized a study date with my friends at our local university library. it was super fun, and i was semi-productive but i got really tired around an hour in. then, i struggled to do any work and i just wanted to go home.

meal prepping this week was super helpful for me. not stressing about making my lunch for school when i'm getting ready in the morning saves so much time. i'm going to continue to do this and look for some more recipes. maybe i'll post a meal plan lmao.

next week i'd like to attend more karate sessions and start making my piano practicing more of a habit.

saturday and sunday will be a part of next week's reflection since i was meant to write this on friday arvo.

❤️ nene

[decadeduo]

Helloooo welcome, call me Decade or Impostor or just about anything you want! This blog is for a Ask Goldie Anything au I've been working on ever since I found the now discontinued comic back in 2019!

I have ADHD and multiple other projects, so if I'm quiet for a bit feel free to poke me because I probably just forgot to update the blog. I also have a tendency to over-explain, so if you have trouble with reading long blocks of text then the colored text is there to highlight the important stuff! I believe you can only read the colored text and still understand the post, if I did it correctly. I'm sorry for people that struggle to read with colored text, but uh, I'm sure this paragraph alone shows how much I yap vs how much information is useful - it's kinda necessary. Alt descriptions of images are also available for all of the important posts, usually with some side notes about making said drawing or giving some context.

dms and asks are always open! This au only relies on asks about 30% of the time, but I'll always answer asks 100% of time (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) that number will change as we get further into the story, mostly the introductory act and the last act is gonna need asks, as well as asks in-between each act to pass in universe time :]

In order to hold myself accountable and actually keep. Working on this thing, as well as to let everyone know I'm not dead, where am I currently in making this au?

Plot: it's been complete for 2 or 3 years and atp im making DLC for it whenever im bored, right now I'm aiming to complete the story with 4 - 6 Acts (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

Timeline of said plot: it's roughly laid out, and I'm currently working on fixing any plot holes [since originally this au was more like 14-17 segmented scenarios I've stitched together]

The actual comic: I'm currently working on the first comic pages! I'm also working on the cover art for each act, and after the first page is posted I'll work on asks (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

More info below!

What is this au about you may ask, so far I've said nothing about it you say? basically I looked at aga, and then looked at actual FNaF lore with the crying child and Cassidy possessing golden Freddy and decided the more ghosts the merrier. When Evan died, he started possessing Goldie, and gave him the ability to float, teleport, etc. Goldie can also exit the suit and be a ghost at any time, but he tends to stay inside unless he needs to be alone or do something that Evan can't.

If you send me any asks that are non-canon or spoilery, I'll just redirect you to my main account @impostorsshow and answer it there anyway. No asks will go unanswered [like said dlc I mentioned (⁠?⁠・⁠・⁠)⁠σ I might post about said non-canon stuff unprompted since I like my phasmophobia and shadow Bonnie au alot] Also I just like yapping so if you go to #fnaf ranch dip on my main account, you can find some old posts about this au (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)

Every time I edit this post I try to trim it down and make it less wordy and fail horribly. It'll get better one day. Maybe. Anyway here's some extra stuff <3

Bonnie: why does he always do weird stuff....

[jasminewalkerauthor]

5 Ways I motivate myself to write

Disclaimer: Like I state in all of my writing advice posts, everyone's process is personal, this is just what works for me, there is no right or wrong way to write.

1. Spotify playlists

Making spotify playlists for my wips is the very first thing I do when I start the planning process. When I have free time I'll listen to the playlist even when I'm not sat my laptop to get my mind into the right headspace.

2. Watching dramatic scenes of movies and shows

Maybe it's just me but watching the matt smith monologues from doctor who will always motivate me to write, especially rings of akhaten, I keep a playlist of scenes such as these on youtube to watch, as well as a folder of edits on tiktok to combine dramatic music with them.

3. Playing writing games

I basically play reverse madlibs whenever i hit a wall in writing, I get a random word generator up and try to incorporate whatever word pops out into my next paragraph, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but either way it helps me write a paragraph and that's what editing is for.

4. Change location every hour of writing

I basically take on the dead poets society logic of writing, physically changing your position gives you a new perspective, maybe it is just me but you will be surprised how much of an impact a change in environment can have.

5. Having an accountability chat

So this one is slightly dependent on if you have someone who can hold you accountable, but in one of my discord servers we have an accountability chat to set your daily writing goals in to hold yourself and others accountable, because lets be honest there is no better motivation then some light pressure.

[prettygirls-grave]

restarting ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

this is mostly for myself, but i'm in dire need of a life restart. if anyone out there is feeling stuck, unmotivated, tired, or depressed, like me, this is my little guide to slowly get out of that era. if you find it useful, yay!!

slow goals- these are my "starting point" goals, because setting unrealistic expectations for myself as fallen through sooo many times.

read 20 minutes per day

practice math 2x per week

exercise every other day

meditate (manifest, or positive affirmations) every morning

do something for myself daily (journal, go for a walk, hobbies)

document life daily (upcoming series on this blog!!)

final goals- these are my big, long term goals

have my desired appearance

have a consistent and fulfilling routine

get into my desired school

enjoy life

love myself

be at peace

progress in speaking croatian/italian

month 1- healingˋ°•*⁀➷

from february-march 20th, my goal is to focus on maintaining happiness and loving myself. i will achieve this through daily affirmations, slow routines, gently implementing habits, focusing on the positive, and limiting negative media consumption. this month will be about laying the groundwork. right now, you & i aren't doing the best, but with gradual changes in our miserable routines, we'll be feeling better!!

month 2- progressingˋ°•*⁀➷

from march-april 20th, we'll be amplifying our current routines (probably will go more in depth when we get here) we'll be spending more time on our most important goals. for me, i will revise and practice math for 1 hour every day, have daily language lessons, and venture out of my comfort zone. the most important aspect of this month is consistency!

month 3- set in stoneˋ°•*⁀➷

now it's roughly april 20th! (the dates are just my personal timeline, but are flexible ofc) it's been 2 months of consistent routine, and results are showing up! this month for me will getting on the education grind- making sure i've learned everything in all subjects this year, revising, practicing, and learning more. for this month i want to grow myself in terms of knowledge.

month 4- finale!ˋ°•*⁀➷

june 20th! it's almost summer, school is nearly done, and my school's enrollment is coming up. right now, we're probably used to our routines, and we're feeling goooood! reward ourselves, but final school revision should be happening. i'll be using this month to feel fully confident in my knowledge of math, and other subject's that will be on my school's enrollment. by now we've got our summer bodies, so maybe change up your appearance!! finish this challenge strong <3

»»———— ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆————-««

for each quarter, i'll post a more in-depth guide as to what i'll be doing. this guide is obviously tailored to myself, so change it up if needed! i'll also document my "productivity" every day to hold myself accountable.

i'll also post some more detailed posts about the manifesting i'd like to do along the way, and other self development thingies.

guys i'm not a self-help girlie, but this is just my little journey attempting to exit depression. of course i'll post about my other silly little interests.

enjoy!!

[lovelykil]

「 Halloween 」

kyle x reader older ver.

cw; little nsfw

note; me when uhh mee whennn ermm uhhh me when cowboy kyle ohhhhhhhhhhhgod

black reader implied

I whipped out my phone to take a picture of my cowboy boots next to Kyle's to post on my Instagram as we waited for Kenny and Eric to finish getting their candy. We stood on the sidewalk waiting for them to get back.

It seemed like forever I mean how long does it take to just get your candy and go?

I had already posted the picture on my account and still they weren't back.

Kyle huffed in frustration feelings the same then felt his pockets since it vibrated.

"Did you tag me in something" He asked before even looking at his phone. I giggled lightly, putting my phone in my jean pocket.

"How'd you know?"

"Cause you always tag me in something, I swear." He opened his phone, going to insta.

I swung my bag of candy slowly from boredom, my eyes wondering around. I saw other groups of people walk from house to house, kids running around in their little costumes and some houses going way out for this Halloween. Webs everywhere with giant spiders in the middle, tall ass Skeletons in their front yard, smokey-like air filling the yard with gravestones in the grass as zombie like hands reach out to bring in an unattended little kid down to the underground, and bright red scary lights hung from their houses.

South Park went big for this year, that's for sure

Kyle set his bag of candy down on the concrete to hold his phone better as he probably tapped through our friend's stories from tonight, an hour ago Wendy posted her and Stan's costume, they went as Mavis and Johnny from hotel transylvania.

Which was totally cute, they went trick or treating with Bebe and Clyde not sure why they didn't join us though but it's whatever.

It was maybe cause every damn year we go and do this Eric likes to bitch about the candy and start a whole scene with the person handing out candy.

oh wait..

My head whipped back around to find cartman and to NO surprise he was waving his arm in the air with candy, even from way over here I could hear him shout in his barbie costume.

Surprisingly Kenny and him matched.. can you guess?

barbie and ken

If it wasn't obvious

His blonde hair wig bounced all around as he yelled I saw Kenny bring his hand to his face, shaking it slowly.

I groaned to myself, rolling my eyes into their sockets.

"Cartmans being a dick again.." I muttered. I looked over at the ginger in his cowboy costume. He looked up from his phone, squinted then rolled his eyes.

"That fucking asshole- hold on I'll be back." He put his phone back in his pocket then walked his way onto the drive way of the house, his boots clanked on the hard floor following the path to the front door to drag Eric back.

I watched,, more like studied him.

Okay I lied, fonded over.

Me and him went as cowboys this year he wasn't to big of a fan of this though.

"You want to go dressed as cowboys this Halloween?" Kyle put down his pencil and spun his chair to look at me. I set on the edge of his bed with my phone to my chest and my legs swinging in excitement. I nodded, even smiling.

He looked at me like I had a screw loose in my head or something, to which I clicked my tounge and leaned off the bed.

"I think it would be cool, I like cowboys" I walked over to him, pouting. He took off his glasses with to rub his over worked eyes.

"Don't you think we're to old to be trick or treating? I mean we can just eat candy and watch movies at my house for the night." He put his hand down, waiting for his eyes to adjust.

I stared at him in disbelief, obviously very offended. I set my hand on my hip turning my head in offense.

"I'm not that old!"

He watched me walk back to his bed andturn over to lay on my side as I sulked on my phone, he sighed and got up from his chair to crawl over next to me.

"You're kinda of a baby you know"

"I love trick or treating."

"Alright fine we can go, sorry." He played with a stain of my curly hair, curling it around just to let it go and watch it coil back to its regular curl. I turned over, sitting up.

My eyes lit up, I put my hands on his shoulders "Really?"

"Yes" He chuckled, nodding. I smiled, pecking his nose then went to grab my phone.

"Okay we are sooo going to need to buy these, also I have a spare cowboy hat back at my house that will look so good on you." I showed him the clothes, my voice trembling with pure happiness.

"Okay but why cowboy?" He questioned, grabbing my phone for himself to scroll through the clothes we needed. I was about to answer his question when I paused, remembering the reason I wanted to do this in the first place.

I mean I initially did like western things but.. the other reason behind it..

My cheeks burned my dark face, I rubbed the back of my neck as my eyes darted elsewhere.

"Uhm no clue like I said I just like cowboys, they are cool.."

"Mmmm, okay I guess."

The real reason was because I just wanted to see him in clothes like that, he's pretty tall with a pretty face and a small waist though still masculine in every way.

Him in brown boots, a button up black shirt, sliver western buckle belt to go with his low rise boot cut jeans that fit his figure complimented with chaps to wear with, and a cowboy hat to top it off.

And of course his rope that he could totally just use on me, maybe tie my wrist together and hold them over my head as his slender fingers make contact with my bare skin from beneth my button shirt. His voice low telling me to keep quiet each time I whimper to his touch.

His eyes filled with lust watching me struggle to fulfill his demand once his fingers inch near my temple, rubbing my pearl slowly. He'd smirk from above taking off his hat to set it on the bed.

"Want me to go down on you baby?" He'd whisper in such a suggestive tone, his smirk making my legs tremble. I'd nod nervously and watch him hum a response, unbuttoning my pants.

"Yeah you do, my pretty girl."

And possibly maybe his–

"CARTMAN GOD DAMMIT COME ON!"

"NO LET ME GO, THEY GAVE ME A TOOTH BRUSH KAHL, A FUCKING TOOTHBRUSH. WHO DOES THAT?" My flash back came to a quick end, hearing loud voices coming near me. I blinked, looking around for a second gaining conscience.

"oh shit." I whispered, feeling my face burn.

"There's other houses still fatass, you'll be okay." Kyle dragged Eric back to the spot as Kenny followed.

He looked so damn fine in that hat, his angry expression just made his outfit look 100 times better on him.

I felt my heart race and a nervous feeling washing over me.

"Sorry that took long, ready to continue Y/n?" He let got of Eric, dropping him on the concrete. The barbie shouted in frustration to the jew, fixing his messy blonde wig.

My eyes traced up at Kyle just realizing how small I was compared to him, I wasn't even that short and he literally towered me.

I swallowed some extra spit, avoiding his gaze. "yeah..uh let's.. let's go." I turned around to start the walk to the next house. If I stared at him more I think I would've probably started to make out with him in front of these kids which I was not going to do.

So many explicit thought flooded my god forsaken mind as we continued the walk to the houses I wanted to bang my head on a wall.

There wasn't much I could do anyway Kyle had no clue I was suffering from him, he kept arguing with cartman but still held my hand since I wanted him too.

I could feel my body grow hot especially my lower region, my cool breath was soon hot and thick.

As we approached another house I gripped Kyle's hand for him to stop. The other duo went ahead of us as I kept Kyle back.

He turned around confused, looking down.

"Something wrong Y/-"

"I need you badly right now ky, need you to tie me up with that rope of yours." I pointed to the rope on his waist, pleading. His stunned eyes met my begging ones he was quiet and didn't say anything from shock.

"You want to cut this short then?" He pointed to the decorated house to which I nodded, feeling a little sad then again that was the least thing on my mind at the moment.

He faltered with a blush, his contact still on me. I stepped closer to him, my hand feeling around his pant area begging some more. Anything I would do just for him to take me home so he can have his way with me in this cowboy wear.

"you just look so good right now, I don't think I can hold myself back for much longer.."

"o-oh?" He watched me feel up on him, his face growing redder. Just moments later I felt a bump growing from beneath his pants as my fingers teased him.

He whined, his hips leaning towards me.

"fuck.." He muttered from pleasure mixed with shame. I giggled, moving my hand away from him.

"Now you have to take me home."

"Okay fine.." He gave in, looking around to check if the coast was clear to flee.

He took my hand soon enough and walked away from the previous house we were at, I held onto his hand in content.

As we walked, trying to find his car he looked over at me needing the feeling to ask something.

"I have a feeling you picked these costumes just so you can see me in this." He stated. I looked at him then turned away once I felt myself get nervous.

"Maybe, or maybe not.. who knows?"

"Mhm.." He hummed.

A silence fell between us then was disturbed when he snickered lightly.

"You're so horny it's crazy." He laughed, I scoffed with a blush.

"Says the one with a walking boner right now."

"Oh shit I forgot about that, kids are here oh my god.."

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Hello. I am wondering why you start liking Takeomi. He is the most hated character by the fandom and your choice of wet soggy cat is very unique. I want to listen your ramblings.

Oh anon, if only I knew

I'll try to remember how it happened, that much I think I got it.

So, when I first got into TR, my mind mostly focused on Mitsuya and the Shiba (mostly Taiju), so much so that I ended up writing a lot more than I thought I ever will on Taiju and explaining where his behavior comes from

Because it seems like a lot of people missed some important information. And by doing that I was able to show them details they had missed (prove that I was right in previous posts where I didn't justified myself and basically got called a liar by someone in the notes which incredibly pissed me off-) and, although that doesn't excuse what Taiju did, it does explain it and makes him more.. real? Maybe not relatable, but his domestic abuse didn't pop up out of nowhere and a lot of people know what intergenerational trauma can do so while still hating Taiju they could understand him better.

Then, having finished my Taiju analysis which also opened my eyes since I found more than what I initially thought about; I myself was able to understand him better and so I thought-

Why not do that with every hated characters in the fandom?

I don't quite recall if my (at the time, very slight) interest in Takeomi happened a bit before or at that time, but the reason why I focused on him before the others (which, uh, aren't a lot anyway) was because I saw stuffs written about him which I didn't really agree with? Like, yeah, he was flawed and raised his siblings badly - especially when next to Shinichiro who was (at least depicted as)(and try to be) good at it - but they were kinda amplifying things

I know that a lot of people relate to Sanzu, or just, love him, and since they saw things I haven't seen, I told myself 'well, let's investigate, then' and then I wrote about 17k words on Takeomi's psychology.

I literally walked myself into the Takeomi rabbit-hole (what a FUCKING mistake /positive)

Takeomi did neglect his siblings, and passive-aggressively verbally, or even emotionally, abused Sanzu and for most of the fandom, is not attractive (and, let's not lie, beauty is a redeeming quality for a lot of characters regardless of fandom. How many characters, no matter their faults, get forgiven by fans just because they're hot, uh?). So he sucks, yeah

You know what he did do? acknowledged his mistakes, apologized for them and would have started his redemption arc if Wakui had had the time for that when warping up the story

He made mistakes, he's flawed, he's human, he wasn't even supposed to be here because he only entered the delinquent world to keep following Shinichiro, his ego which was back then very weak and non-existent got inflated for either survival or because he received so many compliments he didn't know what to do with it if not both because he was a k i d.

Most of the characters in TR are kids or young adults when they commit things they shouldn't have done. And yes, you can hold them accountable for it but they didn't know better - they didn't have the tools to

Now, why do I like Takeomi.

First of all - the amount of flaws he has. Don't think I need to make the list, I think everyone's got it (although make sure to remember he's got an inferiority complex and it's most likely that he also has an imposter syndrome so he's just like me fr-). But even with that, he's never an antagonist. He does things wrong but he's on our side (he's just very deaf to anyone's opinion that doesn't fit his). He sucked at raising his siblings as a kid himself (before his superiority complex developed and during it too - albeit in different ways) but that's just.. realistic? Not that it takes away the seriousness of it and the consequences, but how else could it have been? The impact on Sanzu were disastrous (not that they were the only reason why Sanzu lost it), I understand that, I don't erase that nor deny it BUT THERE'S A REASON WHY TAKEOMI IS LIKE THIS, TOO. And if people blame Takeomi for his actions (which, again, fair.) then blame Sanzu for his!! he was willing to mass murder hundreds of people!!! including his sister!!! he killed a few people!! argh. But Sanzu got his tragic-backstory/childhood shown and has a design that appeals to most, so I guess it's harder to hold him accountable for the seriousness of his actions (I like Sanzu, don't get me wrong. But sometimes the hypocrisy of some fans makes me a tiny bit angry 🙃)

Anyway, reason 84123286 of why I need Takeomi's backstory. Bc, honestly, from what we know of him as a kid+his coping mechanisms as a teen/adult, it would make sense to me if one of the reason he was so hostile to Sanzu was because he saw himself in him and Didn't Like ItTM (for different reasons) (!!! Which would add nicely to Shinichiro seeing himself in Mikey!!! more sano-akashi parallels, lets goooooooo) Talking about the parallels between the two, the fact he's Shinichiro's narrative foil compels me lots. Takeomi is quite literally Shinichiro with a negative filter on. And how can he survived that? How can he cope with the fact that no matter how much he wants and tries to be Shinichiro he'd never succeed? He'd always be the pale copy, the wood statue covered with golden leaves that are peeling away with time next to the pure gold statue. The Teru Teru Bozu that fails to chase the rain away and is going to be decapitated for his ineptitude. He'd always be himself and that's what he hates the most. He'd always be compared to Shinichiro and there's nothing he can do about it. And he can't even be angry at Shinichiro. That's his best friend. He loves him. He has been the first to love him. He has been there before anyone else. He can't lose Shinichiro, Shinichiro gave him everything. Everything he cares about, he sees value of, at least. Immaculate.

I'll also die on the hill that he is competent. He himself has no idea on what but he is (he mixes everything. For him it'd go like this: he gets praised but he's done nothing, Shinichiro has done everything which means they praised him for what Shinichiro has done. Which means what Shinichiro do, he does too. Which means Shinichiro's achievements are his as well! right? He didn't do anything by himself, there's no need to praise him for something else.)(he's fully blind that strategically-speaking and in other brainy-brain domains he's competent af. Bc since it comes 'easily' to him - since he doesn't struggle much with it, or in contrary he struggles so much he cannot possibly be good at it, then there's nothing to praise. And like, for him what Shinichiro does deserve to be praised. What he himself does is just.. things he does so compliments feel shallow)(+Bonten strives as much as Bad Toman and Manila if not more, yet there's no Kisaki. Ofc there's still Koko so that helps, but Takeomi is new to the team and got recruited (at least that what Senju said) in Brahman for his ~wisdom~)

He's also the only character who was around before Shinichiro 1) became a big brother 2) became a delinquent and that has to mean something. They're the only ones left to remember how the other was before their life went to shit

In the final timeline, he looks so healthy. He made peace with himself, his relationship with his siblings is good, he made amends. He healed, they healed. His relationship with Shinichiro, Benkei and Wakasa is good too everything's great. He learnt to understand what he is competent in and focus on it; he's not Shinichiro, he'll never be and that's okay. He's him and what he is complete Shinichiro just as Shinichiro complete him – they take care of one another's flaws but can also know live independently from each other. Perhaps, perhaps Takeomi stopped being so dependent of him

Appearance-wise, I love dark hair+green eyes combo in general so it wasn't that hard (plus there are some godly fanarts out there)

And of course: despite his complexity, at the end of the day - he's really just a pathetic wet poor excuse of a man who can't do anything right and isn't that endearing

I'm slowly getting out of the denial-phase to enter my acceptance-phase when it comes to loving Takeomi. Liking things most people hate or are neutral about is smth I hate for Reasons but it also seems to always happen lolololol. Will try to talk more about Takeomi when it comes to my mind, in case ppl who also love him but don't want to make it known because of his bad reputation in the fandom saw my posts and feel a bit more okay and comfortable with loving him

[sunnystudiesmaybe]

Hello ^,^

I'm Sunny! I'm a college student who's trying their best but still really struggling. I have a hard time studying and getting myself to do work. I've always been like this, but I wanted to make this to hold myself accountable and get work done. Hopefully it sticks. I have a hard time creating solid habits.

I'll be putting a lot of normal daily blog type stuff. Examples include my assignments and what I struggled with, what works for me, my progress on my academics, and some daily stuff in my life. I tend to put school-related things before the "normal" ones.

I feel quite alone when doing my academics, so I wanna keep stuff here to feel less alone. Maybe someone might find my posts and feel better or relate to me.

I don't really mean to make this an aesthetically pleasing blog. I want it to be genuine. Some days I might want to make things look pretty and cute. Other days, I might struggle to even write properly. This is a space that is meant to be safe for me to go to any time, whether I'm bedridden at home because of illness or happily hopping about campus, getting stuff done.

Before I continue, here are some things about me that affect what I do:

In high school, I lost motivation to do things, including going to school and doing work. I missed most of my junior and senior years, but still graduated with Honors. I flex that because it's proof that despite my circumstances, I can push myself past what I thought my limits were to achieve what I want.

I've always passed my classes despite my procrastination and poor executive function. I previously had intense academic anxiety to keep me afloat, but now that I don't I need to try to adult and get myself together, I'm struggling more than I ever have.

My funky little brain is full of a lot of ideas, so posts are likely to often be long (I've been writing for about 10-15 minutes I think). This is basically a brain dump.

Seeing ADHD study tips really encouraged me to push myself in my academics again. While I haven't been diagnosed or previously expected to have it, I do have Autism. The diagnosis provided a place to start when looking to solve my personal problems. I've found accountability and body-doubling to work for me the most. I've been using study-with-me videos, written agendas, and therapy to help myself.

What I do may not work for others. I hope I can give at least one person motivation to keep trying or help one person feel less alone in their struggle. With education being such a big talking point now with how tight money is becoming, there is more pressure than ever to do well.

I hope everyone can find something that works for them. I'll be posting more soon :)

(P.S., most of my blurbs so far are 250-500 words!)

[winryrockbellwannabe]

✨Get Ready with me...✨

for the second semester of my 3rd year of college

Part 2: Friendships and Mental Health (all pics from Pinterest)

(Part 1: academic life and free time in here)

🪩 Friendships: 🥤

- No more people pleasing. Like the wonderful @zzzzzestforlife was saying on her post, it's time to stop being ppl pleasing. And i took it at heart lol Ofc it's not going to be an extreme thing, there must be an effort in friendships, but I gotta learn to prioritize myself when I'm with friends - As I said before, i want to become more intentional about my time. So, like, actually scheduling plans with friends, instead of ending up every other afternoon at the coffee shop complaining about life. Don't get me wrong, i do love one good gossip session, but it does keep the negativity around us and it leaves me drained sometimes. And I don't want to be drained after being with my friends - Take more decisions. That does sound more like a mental health thing, than a friendship thing, but i find it harder to make decisions when it implies other ppl, and i overthink if they even wanted to do whatever i planned for in the first place. So I'm going to start realizing that I can make my own choices and trust ppl to tell me if they hated it.

🍃🪻Mental health:🪻🍃

- i would like to try to implement a morning and bedtime routine. I really do think that that would be beneficial for me. (maybe ill try to hold myself accountable for this on my posts too). Especially a no screens bed time routine - in this same theme - reduce screen time - something i still do a lot is biting my nails. It's not something i manage to stop overnight, most times i manage to stop i end up getting even "worse" habits, like biting my lips, or picking skin. So find better coping mechanisms - go on walks. touch some grass lol. now the weather is getting nicer again, so i can get around to do this again - and in general just take my time. I feel like those last 3 years passed in a rush and i barely noticed the time passing by, and that scares me tbh.

And that's it :)) I'll try to hold myself accountable for some of this stuff in my posts, but ofc I'm not expecting to achieve all of this consistentively. It's more about being aware of what i want to get better at and try to make that effort😊

[talisidekick]

This whole situation with Predestrogen is making me wonder where I should go next. Do I just exist on Ko-fi? Do I take my OnlyFans account which just exists to hold my name and make it into my blog? Do I go to cohost? Or is there another service for 2SLGBTQIA+ people thats actually supportive of transgender people?

I'm all for sticking heels in, digging down, and making a space for myself. To exist in a space because I'm human and deserve the same level of mutual respect that two straight and cisgender people show eachother. I do this in my day-to-day life. It's important to fight for what's yours. However, Tumblr is a platform. I don't own the data-space my blog takes up on Tumblrs servers. Tumblr is a United States company, and by their constitutional rights, Matt Mullenweg and those he designates as executors of his will gets to choose what content is spoken, written, or otherwise made available on Tumblr. I believe this is the First Ammendment that states this. This is why they can remove trans peoples transition timelines, ban people for any reason, and delete the public facing aspect of peoples posts with as little explanation as "we don't want them on our platform". That's their right. This is why I'm considering exporting the over 1100 posts I've made on Tumblr and nuking the blog down to a single redirection post to all my other social media accounts.

If photomatt and by extention Tumblr doesn't want the platform to be the "queerest place on the internet", then maybe it's time to help someplace else take that title. If Matt and Tumblr won't exercise their rights to remove bigotry, which they don't, then it's probably best to go somewhere that will. I know the trans and queer staff at Tumblr are really risking a lot trying to fix this, but I'm a corporate employee myself, and the best intentions of the workforce doesn't mean shit if the supervisors, leadership, bosses, and owners have different plans/ideals. And if Matt has different plans for Tumblr, either before this whole ordeal, or after then Tumblr Staffs words, as awesome as they are and as brave as they have been, won't be worth the digital space they take up. When Matt gets back, I expect sweeping changes, and from experience I'll err on the side of caution that it won't be good for the transgender users like myself.

Problem is, I don't know where else to go. If anyone has information on any good alternatives, or just better platforms, I'd appreciate the help. I'd like to see the options before I make a decision. In all likelihood I'll rwmain on Tumblr, but I want to exit quickly if things go south.

[marcelinesghost13]

Hi Blog,

So a lot of things have happened in the last couple days. So I figure this would be a good time to get this she shit out of my head.

Let's start off with wife okay... So she is doing her normal negative hot and cold BS like always when she text me.. but today she asked me to give her a call. So I called her and asked wants up. She said that her lawyer called her and told her that the cop she filed a report with Putin a false report to get her in trouble. That's why the DA is going after my wife and the doing have and real evidence to charge her with anything. So here's the kicker she wants me to give her $1000 for the lawyer can try the case for her. I told her I'll figure out away to get her the money. She needs a good lawyer that way he can turn around and sue the city for lying about what happened.

So there's a person I've been talking to on one of my social media accounts. They are very nice and kind to me. Plus I'm actually attracted to them... Which I wasn't expecting. I really do like talking to them a lot about different things. Then also make me laugh a lot. The part that sucks is IDK if I'm ready for new relationship now. Yet there's something that pulls me to them and I understand why. I keep telling myself it's best I'm alone right now for I can figure out me. Then again it could be my hormones just being crazy and fucking with me. Well in any case I feel so hot for them it drives me crazy sometimes. I totally understand and know we'll never be together ever and over time they will just fade away maybe.

Okay as for other stuff going on... Couple days ago I showed up at work was full on girl makeup and posted a photo on Tumblr and Facebook. I made a lot of the guys very nervous and uncomfortable. To the point where one of my Sergeants had to talk to me about what was going on. He didn't know I was a trans girl. The needless to say the conversation was a bit awkward for him. But after I explained everything he was okay. Also I got a haircut well more like a trim . I asked a hairstylist to give me something more girl like but she didn't really understand me so all I got was the trim. I can totally feel like the missing hair. I know that sounds silly and crazy but it's totally true. There's days that drives me fucking crazy then there's like two inches missing and I know it. It'll grow back and I'll get used to it I'm just not there yet.

What else happened to me I bought my first sports bra. I'm very proud of myself for doing the research and figuring out what size I am because after all I do have breath..... and I'm not talking about man boobs. My doctor actually did a test to see if they were just like I said man boobs or if they were actual breasts and yeah they really are. She told me that I should have been wearing a bra since puberty. I did not even know that. So I went out and I got me a sports bra. And I actually like it. It feels more natural to me to have something like that on. I like the material I like the feel of it. I like the fact that it holds my girls in place. I've told my Queens about what I did... Some of them want me to start getting like other types of bras but my oldest sister she's like just stick with the sports bra you're just way too active. And I'm going to have to agree with her about that. I did try a couple other bras on which element and I do not like the feel of them. I'm just way too much of a tomboy to wear some of those other types of bras.

Then yesterday I went to the eye doctor and haven't been there in a couple. She years. The eye doctor said that my eyes are actually getting better and that I should start taking a special kind of vitamins to help my eyesight. I told her okay I will definitely do that. After the appointment is over I got some contacts which are so nice and comfortable... I so totally missed having contacts. Also got a pair of very girly cat looking glasses I absolutely love what they look like and once I get them I will be definitely taking a photo.

As far as day goes I get to meet my new counselor for the very first time I am so beyond nervous to meet her. I don't know how it's going to go I don't know which is going to want to talk about I just don't know and I'm so scared. I'm sure everything will be okay and I'm probably totally overthinking. The only thing I hope I don't do is cry. So after that is said and done I will probably write a blog about it.... I definitely know I'll write a blog about it. That would be everything that has happened in the last couple days. I've done so many different first this week. Just one more baby step after another baby step. I know at some point I will eventually get to my goal.

180920240802

[theschizotypalsolilquy]

Well

Apparently I need to reintroduce myself and hopefully clean house.

Hello

I'm Piper. I'm in my mid 40s and have been on mental disability for the last ten years. My blog name should help you with that. I've got a plethora of other mental illnesses too.

I don't know what you Dementors think this blog is, but lemme just lay some truths down for you.

I'm not nice.

I'm not here to feed into your delusions.

I'm not here to validate or invalidate your opinions on the nature of the relationship between Jungkook and Jimin.

As I'm also, it seems, one of those idiots who gives antis a platform, lemme lay another truth down on yall.

I'll tag however I see fit.

Maybe I tag those fucktards because I need other people to see some of the vile shit that's being said.

Ya know. Spread awareness.

To be on the lookout for homophobic yns or solo stans who like to spread vicious lies not only about Jimin and Jungkook, but other members as well.

Like how there was a bitch on Twitter saying that Yoongi killed four people in a DUI accident last night. Luckily it got taken down, but people were still falling for that shit.

This fandom is fucking toxic, and a lot of people ignore that. Why, I have no earthly idea. Supposed ot7 accounts who don't call out any group who slanders Jimin and Jungkook, but get all up in arms protecting other members.

And before you call bullshit, realize you're in denial about this fandom.

Yall wanna just blame shippers. But every corner of this fandom reeks of toxicity, from solo stans to ot7.

It's not like there's not receipts to back that statement up either.

Some of yall act like the moral police. And it's quite hypocritical.

Sure. It would be nice to just be all rainbows and puppies 24/7 and oh we all get along and love all the relationships between members group hug!!!

But it's not. And I'll show that ugly side and call it out.

It's about time eyes were opened to just how some of this fandom is treated by the fandom as a whole.

Like a blog I love and follow, an anon was sent in to tell them to stop posting ugly pictures of the other members because they were just there for Jimin and Jungkook.

Da fuq??

Be better.

So, in conclusion:

My blog. My rules. You don't like the things I post, or the beliefs I hold? Well, there's this handy thing called an unfollow or block option.

Imagine that

IMAGINE THAT

My feelings will not be hurt if someone unfollows me. I implore you to do so.

And if you keep following me, don't bitch about the things I post.

Peace. Love. Dope.

[tulsas-tears]

About me

My name is Tulsa, I use she/her pronouns and I'm 19. I'm also an INFJ and a lesbian, and I'm taken by a very pretty, very skinny girl.

A bit of background:

My eating issues started a couple years ago (I think it had to do with the antidepressants I was on), and when I stopped my meds I gained weight and all of a sudden hated myself. It took me almost a year to start actually losing the weight back, which only worked since I started a med that made me lose my appetite for long enough to not eat, realize I looked and felt so much better, and keep going. I'm an open book, so feel free to ask anything about this you'd like.

Stats:

Hw: 124lbs

Lw: 101lbs

Sw: 112lbs

Cw: 113bs

Gw: 100lbs

Ugw: 95lbs

The blog:

I'm gonna use this blog as a food diary so I can hold myself accountable with what I'm eating, since a lot of my problem is eating too much in secret. (I figure if I at least post this stuff on a public account, it might make me think twice.) I'll post pics of meals on occasion probably, calorie counts, maybe rants. My goal is to be skinny but healthy at the same time, so I try to stay under 1000 cals daily, but push it up to 1200 if I have to.

I'm an animal lover, so generally speaking I try to eat vegan/vegetarian when I get to choose my own food. I'm not attached to either label though so I kinda do whatever is most practical in the moment.

Tagging system:

All of the posts I create will probably be tagged as one of four things: #food diary, #food for thought, #rant, and #random (as well as all four being tagged as #mine). They're for me tracking my food; notes I have about how to eat and what to do better; rants about whatever related to eating and body image and stuff; and then random thoughts I have that don't really fit into either of three main categories.

My September plan is tagged under #September plan and details my "rules" to keep things under control.

That's all for now <3