#but if i don't pass out i'll be on
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"Slow down, Sunshine. You're not falling behind and you are loved for more than what you do for others."
#fnaf sun#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#traditional art#self-insert#my OC Esther#please don't copy these tags i'm just going to vent a bit#it's just been one of those weeks#been feeling overwhelmed lately#like i need to keep up#like i'm not doing enough and i tire or lose focus so easily#and i don't feel rested after resting#so i thought i should go back to my roots of drawing the DCA comforting me with words i can't seem to give myself#was debating whether or not to share this#but perhaps it may offer someone else some comfort as well#i'll be okay#this too will pass#it's just been a particularly busy and out-of-control week
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It's almost time for my yearly winter shop hiatus! 15% off until Nov 17 with code SASALELE, and then I'll be closing on the 18th until February. I won't be open for holiday shopping, so get any planned presents now 🫡
SHOP
#also if those threatened tariffs will come to pass#I don't really know what will happen to availability and pricing so uhhhh yeah#also the donation sale of the Wibbly Mail Leftovers is still ongoing#and technically the 15% off code will reduce the price/profit further#but I'll fill out any further profit loss myself#so the donated amount won't be affected
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userdramas event 09: icon — studio choom aotm october 2021, hwang hyunjin ☆
#flashing tw#userdramas#createskz#bystay#boyidoledit#dancerachasource#stray kids#hyunjin#skz#hwang hyunjin#happy 40 million views#is there anything more iconic??#imagine hj doing this now#this choreo this outfit these tattoos#actually no don't it's too dangerous#i just did and i passed out#i'll eventually gif every second of this
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Angry and scruffy
#Figuring him out. He's fucking hard to draw!!! But I wanna draw him w his powers#And I also wanna draw him and homelander 👀#Tbh mate I'd be angry all the time if my hair was that much of a mess too#As a brit I can say Karl Urbans accent is hilarious to me and my whole family we find it endearingly bad#At least it isn't American bleeding through that sounds worse. He gets a pass to sound like Michael Caine sometimes I think. I'll let him.#Anyway by the way I love him. I love Billy Butcher with all my stupid gay heart. Don't even doubt that#The boys#the boys amazon#The boys butcher#Billy Butcher#William butcher#fan art#art#sketch#character art
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The whole framing of Lestat as the sole symbol of patriarchy that fandom is so desperate to put him in doesn't work unless you deliberately ignore how he was also a victim of rape and abuse before he was turned. People want him to be fit into this strict role of "father figure/violent husband/perpetrator" that is only that and not even a whole person, and in doing so they need to push aside the fact that despite being his family's provider, he was also pushed into that role when his father forbid him from joining a monastery or gaining an education that he wanted. Lestat wanted to run away with a theater group as a kid, and actually managed to do so once Gabrielle gave him her blessing and monetary support in order to go to Paris. He didn't always want to be the provider, he was forced into that role and became despondent when he thought he would never get a chance to leave his home.
His new life prior to being turned is pretty much the antithesis to the whole "Lestat is a manly man who would sooner throw up than be compared to a woman" spiel: he lived with another man in Paris while also being an actor, having left his family and "responsibility" to them. The only family member he was ever close to was his mother, all the other male members shunned or ridiculed him. Add onto that the fact that his turning firmly placed him within the role of the damsel/victim: he's kidnapped from his bed by a stranger, taken into a tower and left to rot while being fed on for a week, before then being raped and violently turned all while never even being asked if he would consent to it in any normal circumstance. But you of course have to ignore all of this if you want him to only represent the aggressor/patriarch while Louis is the helpless unhappy matriarch of the family.
My issue isn't that I think Louis isn't a victim, it's that it's not unrealistic for Lestat to be an aggressor/abuser while also displaying traits that aren't regularly assigned to stereotypical depictions of male characters. He's abusive to Claudia while also having been a victim of abuse from his own family. He's not a good maker/teacher, but he also didn't even have one when he was turned. He's the provider/attempted protector of the family and seemed to like being that, while also having run away from his own family prior to this to act in a theater in Paris. He's a rich white man while also being obviously effeminate in public spaces, even to Tom's own bigoted humor.
Like Louis' own complicated story with being his family's benefactor and provider, you can't firmly place Lestat as being one thing or another in terms of gender ideals without deliberately ignoring parts about him that don't fit this. And I don't think it's an absolute necessity, when even in Louis' own story, Lestat isn't stripped of his effeminate mannerisms or behavior while also being the abusive maker/father/lover.
#interview with the vampire#lestat de lioncourt#like even Louis doesn't try to act like Lestat was only ever the powerful 'daddy' of the house#if he was I doubt he'd even feature Lestat wanting to be king of mardi gras and doing that extremely flamboyant display#to the public's chagrin/disgust#the only people in awe of Lestat's peacocking are the women in ep7 like that man was NOT accepted by other rich men like Tom#and I don't point this out in order to dismiss the notion that he could be abusive/horrible#rather that it's completely possible for both things to be true?#also to the people that will likely go: but how does him being a victim of abuse negate him being a patriarch#idk maybe redirect your question to the Edwardian wife fanatics that think that no male character can be a victim unless he is assigned#the female while he is in a relationship with another man 🤷♀️#I'll never forget how someone was also like 'Lestat fakes his femininity for the public' why? no one likes his effeminate ass anywhere#he holds more power by being white + rich than by being effeminate in order to ''''hide'''' his power which he never has or cared to#when Fenwick suggested to Louis to get a business under Lestat's name it's because Lestat being white could pass segregation laws...#not because his effeminate mannerisms grant him more favor.....
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Tw: Blood
Surely it wasn't mine...
#I have been OBSESSED with this game for the passed two weeks#it has single-handedly catapulted me out of my arts block like no other!#it's such an amazing game#don't worry guys I'll return to our regular scheduled programing after this I just needed to get it out of my system#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#Spotify
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For real tho health freaks who scream about how sugar and salt will kill us all and try to push for restrictions on things like candy and chips for SNAP recipients or politicians who try from time to time to replace food stamps all together and give out Government Approved Staples like bread and peanut butter and Government Cheese are gonna kill a whole lotta sick and disabled people like
Diabetics
POTS sufferers
Hypotensives
People with peanut allergies
People with celiac disease or wheat allergies
The lactose intolerant
People who can't eat solid food
People who are undernourished for any reason and need all the calories they can pack on
So-called "picky eaters" who can't tolerate certain tastes and textures without getting violently ill
A myriad of other human conditions that cannot be neatly tallied into categories because the human body and human experience is vast and infinitely variable
But I don't think ableds really care about us and our health like they like to claim so they can harass us about it, do you?
#tag yourself I'm five out of ten#health food is gonna kill me one day i swear to God#vasovagal syncope/POTS was actually a fun disease to have since the treatment is honestly junk food#to get my sugar and sodium levels up quickly so i don't pass out#but then the United States government in their infinite compassion slashed my food stamps in half#and now i can't afford 'luxeries' like enough chips and candy i need to not faint and concuss myself. again#add the celiac and to a lesser extent the lactose intolerancy and now two fruit allergies...#and I'm paying three times the amount for like fifteen food items and that is accounting for the food inflation even ableds are facing#whatever food shortages ableds are going thru right now i swear to you it's much much worse if you're sick/disabled#stop policing what food people buy with the money their given i don't care if it's a paycheck or welfare#SOMETIMES I'll get a pitiful and defensive 'well how was i supposed to know?!' when i confront people bugging me about this#you don't know so shut your trap about it in the first place#most people just ignore the reason and accuse me of making up excuses to eat 'unhealthy' foods tho#health nut#ableism#systemic ableism#food#Salt blessed Salt
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I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs
Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this
Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU
SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.
so. 1) not a violation
I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw
I have disputed the fact of the violation
I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH
So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)
OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket
#it's a relatively privileged problem to have (omg i have a home truly i am grateful) but it's still a goddamned problem and i'm allowed#to fucking complain about it#in case it needs to be said#*rolling my eyes*#i advocate for free/actually affordable housing for everyone who needs it because we ALL deserve a safe secure stable home#whatever type of home that may be#it is absolutely goddamned ridiculous that megacorps can buy all the housing#rent it out at extortionate rates and evict people willy nilly#and we're talking about a “housing crisis” and not a “STOP LETTING CORPORATIONS AND BILLIONAIRES HOARD ALL THE HOUSING” crisis#goddamn.#ha elect me president (ahaha don't do this i am not a good public speaker) and I'll push congress to pass some really neat legislation#hey be more direct: elect me to congress (ahaha don't do this) and i'll WRITE some goddamn nifty legislation and yell about it as long and#as loud as i can until people start to just fucking say yes to make me shut the fuck up#(i know that's not how it works. again. don't actually elect me to a government position)#exemplia gratis:#No individual person shall own more than 6 homes UNLESS they pay a Housing Market Shrinkage Fee for removing viable housing from the market#why 6 and not 2? 2 is a lot! it's excessive! but having A vacation home shouldn't be a crime. Having 5 vacation homes is ridiculous and#awful and whatever but it's not likely to be the source of all our greatest “housing shortage” problems. no. I'm aiming for the absolutely#monstrously greedy and egregious motherfuckers who---ok#hang on. how many homes does the average min and max homeowner own? I would like to see data on that. but anyway#the next part of the legislation:#Homes owned >6 shall be charged X% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee UNLESS they are rented for affordable (15% or less than renter net income)#housing and are actively occupied by said renters. Rented out and charging more than 15% of renter's net? still gotta pay up.#EMPTY housing >6 shall be subject to an additional Y% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee (tax? should I call it a tax?) which increases with ever#month that the housing goes unoccupied. no one living in it? sell it rent it or pay the fuck up. and still pay the fuck up if you rent it#for way too goddamn much money#but like. less. we only REALLY hate you if you sit on empty houses that you don't even let anyone use#ok that's individuals. now onto BUSINESSES#ok so immediately it gets a little complicated cuz like presumably there's rental management businesses that don't own the rental propertie#that they manage BUT there are also companies that just outright own a shitfuckton of housing and THIS is the truly egregious monstrous sid
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because i'm seeing it come up again, a quick "mod thoughts re: all the voter fraud" discussion:
okay so like. in a perfect world, tumblr would have email verification that actually mattered, and we, the mods, would have some more effective way to prevent voter fraud than saying "oh no don't do fraud that's bad". however, we have neither of those things, and doing fraud on our polls is... ridiculously, laughably easy.
so, imagine our distress when during the techno/scar round, a lot of scar fans started getting very, very angry about fraud we weren't sure was even happening? that, indeed, we had absolutely no reason to think was happening at the time, and no way to do anything about it if was?
well. there were two options. and we took the one that would lead to everyone having more fun and things being less toxic overall in the community. the thing is: if we'd said "voter fraud is entirely unallowed, this thing we can't prevent and can't moderate", then the toxicity of fanbases blaming each other for "breaking the rules" would have gone through the roof. full-stop. and we... didn't want that. this poll did not matter. it still doesn't matter. it had grown wildly, wildly bigger than we'd expected, and we had basically no way to control the way everyone was acting about it, but we didn't want to make a statement that would cause people to be even meaner to each other.
so instead, we took the funny option. we said "yeah do whatever voter fraud you want we don't care". SLIGHTLY regret that we didn't know tumblr tried to make you follow random strangers' blogs when you made a new account otherwise maybe we would have been a BIT more clear about 'don't do that', but listen. by saying "voter fraud is totally fine" we made it funny that people were cheating. we made it so there was basically no such thing as "cheating". we made it so, and this was key, the growing toxicity about "but they're BOTTING" was stupid, because like... everyone's doing it now. openly and blatantly doing it. voters fraud is a beautiful name for a baby girl, and this poll doesn't matter and isn't worth getting worked up over, and you can't cheat if it's not against the rules and everyone's doing it anyway, is the idea here.
like, in an ideal world, would we have rampant voter fraud? nah. in a world where we can't stop it if it happens, though... may as well make sure both sides have equal opportunity to fraud, right? like, that makes it even again, right? and more importantly, it reminds people that this shit really, really doesn't matter.
anyway all of this is to say that if you all start coming into our notes and inbox again to start being really toxic about the other side of the poll and make me cry again i will be pissed.
#mcytblr sexyman#discourse#<- not. okay it is a little bit#given that it. made me cry. yeah probably#anyway for the record it was less 'people yelling directly at us' that made us snap#and more 'people yelling at us a little while also being downright cruel to their opponents ESPECIALLY in techno/scar' that did it#and like. the toxicity about 'BUT THAT'S CHEATING' that was both deeply hypocritical and EVERYWHERE during that round is really what did it#so i want to get out ahead of it and say: yeah if we had a way to STOP IT that would be one thing#but we don't. so fraud away. it's not cheating if everyone is doing it!#anyway i'll go back to being funny about it after this i just see rumblings once more and wanna. head it off at the pass.
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when I want to write something self indulgent to give me all the angsty and cuddly hurt/comfort feels but I can't because I end up feeling guilty because I'm seeking after feels that I feel in an inappropriate place because my mom told me one time when I was 15 that I shouldn't search that out or it's probably sexual sin but it confuses me because ALL the feels happen that way for me even if it's entirely platonic and nonsexual and so I don't know if it's okay to want to write to that because apparently all pleasure of any sort, even over platonic stories, is sexual or comes with a possibly probably sexual feeling and I also am having a hard time figuring out what's genuine conviction from God and what's just my anxiety/OCD/perfectionism/fear of failure
#like I feel like it's conviction. but also when I analyze it... I'm not doing anything sexual??? the stories I'm writing are#ENTIRELY platonic#it's like. found family feels.#but then why do I feel so guilty/convicted over it and feel better/less guilty when I stop writing anything feelsy#like... I guess I'm only allowed to write plot and can't ever write hugs and hurt/comfort anymore#my mom keeps saying I should journal all this instead of venting it at everybody and honestly maybe she's right#idk how to handle this but also I feel like if I just find a holding pattern where I can strike a healthy balance of lile#like* what is correct and healthy for me to enjoy#then the anxiety over it might pass? I don't want to avoid conviction though but like. why am I convicted over#writing a story where someone who's been treated like a monster finds a family who loves them#like.. is it because I'm seeking out whatever that feeling in my lower belly/groin is????#but that's like... so tied up in enjoyment and hurt/comfort to me that idk if I'm ACTUALLY looking for that#or if this is just what I write#and idk if that even is sinful in any way at all!!!#and why can't I just get over this? like I keep going in circles with it and it's so frustrating#idk this is totally tmi I just got hit with this awful feeling after work today and the only thing I can pinpoint it to#is this specific thing I've been writing. but even though yeah I've been getting feelsy with it... it's PLATONIC#ENTIRELY COMPLETELY NONSEXUAL. so like... is it that pleasure feeling that's the thing I'm being convicted over??#probably. bc that's the only thing that eases the feeling of conviction/anxiety/guilt#and also probably no one is reading all these tags lol sorry guys I'll go away now
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You kiss your crewmates goodbye?
#brook#franky#nami#franky x brook#frook#superbones#one piece#cyborg franky#soul king brook#my art#old man yaoi#I passed out while drawing this#my “I'll die if I don't draw the husbands” disease acted up
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i know i’ve rambled about this before but I think about it a lot with the various like “can reptiles/fish/non cat/dog pets ACTUALLY love you back” posts and articles about how to tell when your cat loves you and I just sometimes think it’s a little silly to act like love is both this grand ineffable mystery in regards to pets (or people) and something to be measured and assessed
like does Baloo let me hold her paw for a long time (a Measure of Trust according to many articles)? No, she doesn’t really like having her paws touched. But when she gets her head stuck in the back of a chair or her scarf’s caught on something, she stills the moment I touch her head and lets me—a big, strange creature (who frankly often runs into furniture and doorframes)—manipulate the most fragile and vital part of her body in order to help her.
love is an action imo. your dog doesn’t need to be able to comprehend the words ‘I love you’ to feel loved, and your snake doesn’t need to purr to show that it trusts you and likes being around you. love is going to look a little different in every setting and trying to both box it in and demand it meet certain criteria is just...kind of dumb
#my sister's cat insists on sleeping curled up in my sister's arms every night#meanwhile baloo often likes to sleep on this one corner of the living room rug she's obsessed with#do i think that means baloo loves me less? no??#idk i think why this type of thinking picks at me is like#i think if we had a broader and less....not distrusting exactly but insecure#view of love#we'd be better /at/ loving both pets and people#people wouldn't dismiss cats as being too aloof and unfriendly#or dogs who don't match up to their doting ideal#and in the same vein#people would be better at recognizing love as it's offered in its myriad forms#whether that's clinging or from a distance#ANYWAY#baloo is currently passed out on her favorite rug corner but positioned so she can check on me periodically#after her grand adventure of briefly trying to run away to the hallway (she laid down outside my door and refused to move)#and the great crisis of both a rainstorm AND the vacuum (The Horrors)#and soon i'll go to bed and she'll hop up and hyper purr directly into my face until i turn off the light#she is very stupid and full of love#personal
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GUUUYYUYSSSD !!!!!
‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
KIMONO MY HOUSE VINYL!!!!!!
Also funny story which is that when my brother took these to the cashier he said something like "oh... Sparks... they were here one year ago"
#YES THEM BEING THERE IS EXACTLY WHY I TOLD MY BROTHER TO GO THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE ('there' being tower records in japan)#but i find it so funny that the cashier actually remarked on that fact too#anyway. you need to know that i'm feeling so very AAAAHHHH right now. all of these are such a big deal to me#i didn't think i'd actually own KMH ON VINYL at any point#also utterly shocked about the guerilla toss CD. very exciting to have that one too#they're one of my fav bands and i implore everyone who likes unhinged and very experimental and cacophonic rock to check them out#this album (eraser stargazer) isn't the most accessible thing there is out there but i really love it#(i don't even know how to describe it properly. it's just really something to behold anyway)#the plushie is also a gift from my brother!! i'll gladly take any name suggestions for him#oh and also sparks debut album. first album that i own both on CD and vinyl as of today#it's not even that it's my fav sparks album or anything (i do really love it though and it's definitely somewhere in my top ten)#it's just that some albums feel more like they 'fit' with the vinyl format than CD in sound. to me at least#one other example of that besides this one being gratsax#ok i think that's all i have to say about this. one of the most epic hauls of my life that's for sure#OH WAIT one more thing. somewhat unfortunate actually#which is that my brother said he's pretty sure he saw a latte vinyl#but when he passed by that section again like 10 minutes later he already couldn't find it. oh latte.......#it's ok i'll have it one day. i'm really curious what went down there though. did someone really snag it in those 10 minutes???#and yes in case you're worried i did thank my brother profusely for getting me all this#and now i'm going to force him to listen to the TMBG vinyl with me so that he's PREPARED FOR THE CONCERT#that's in 3 months and that he's know about for a year and a half. ok i'm done now#goosepost
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Sorry for the water filter but can I be honest the more I think abt it the more I kind of hate this post. I think it'd be better if it didn't namedrop an actual real life trans person for the sake of going "ew, I don't wanna look like THAT" (especially when contrasting him to these random guys, all I hear in "Elliot Page does not look like Just Some Guy" is basically "I don't think Elliot Page 'passes'"), but even then I think it's interesting how "I am a trans man who wants to present traditionally masculine" is presented as like, the hot take of the century. Should we throw a party. Should we invite. idk. Buck Angel
#like i get where ur coming from here but i actually don't think 'unlike you losers i want to be MANLY' is like a super Hot Take or anything#but maybe i'm just a faggot and a confused little girl and i'll never pass so i might as well join the 41% or however u guys talk. who know#open mick night#gender#rbs off for now bc this post is kinda mean but i had to say it anyway#shaking trans guys by the shoulders Literally No One who thinks being trans is like. a thing that's okay is saying you can't#'look like hank hill' or whatever. no one is stopping you from Being Masc. that's what's expected out of you
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Wanted to hop on the bandwagon of putting ISAT characters in situations so here's Siffrin in the Final Coils of Bahamut fight 3.
#<<Schrano Art>>#ISAT Siffrin#ISAT#<<Schrano Shitposting>>#Production Techniques:#Nothing special this time. Mostly just practicing with the tools I have on hand.#Didn't give a lighting pass because I'd have to reconstruct the entire location and I don't feel like doing that today.#Mostly did this to avoid working on one of my WIPS#The wip in question is shaping up to be lengthy#as I'm experimenting with animation techniques with it.#I'll get it out soon#maybe.#FFXIV Spoilers
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Alright know what here's a little Guild Wars 2 reblog game for everybody; what mounts (if any) do your characters have in their canon, do they have names? Personalities? How'd they meet??
Spill it all below, tell me about all your creatures!!
#my posts#gw2#guild wars 2#thinking about this a lot lately since mine def do!#I'll start: Pirkko has branded mounts and while I haven't named most of them. they were all branded over by Aurene#because they'd been corrupted by Kralkatorrik and they wanted to see if Aurene's magic could purify them in some way#it usually didn't work but Pirkko keeps the ones they saved#Larimar is her skyscale. his egg was tainted by the Brand before he hatched so Aurene was barely able to save him#he's a chivalrous knight type and is known to be just as noble as the Commander who raised him. brave. bold. kind of a dork.#while the Commander is fighting he circles up above and swoops down to rescue injured soldiers from the front line#Saoirse meanwhile gets the SoTo skyscale egg and that hatches into Nightshade. he's fierce and protective too#but in a much more 'loyal guard dog' sort of way as opposed to trying to help everyone else as well. he's an axejaw!#in Regrowth Ceara gets Foxglove because the Commander and Gorrik could NOT manage this little troublemaker#she's too smart for her own good and is CONSTANTLY causing problems. so basically just like Ceara HDKDHDH#Foxglove's a lunarmane! and she's very fluffy and cute and will give you the big shiny eyes to mooch all your food. evil#Ruju meanwhile has a full cast of different mounts who all were troublemakers in different ways when he found them#his griffon Windshear's a northern featherwing that was notorious for carrying off travelers in Lornar's Pass. turned out she was just bore#she's very playful and mischievous and still grabs him on a regular basis. he absolutely hates this#his fulgurite ridgeback jackal Thunderclap was a rogue jackal that the djinn had him help recapture and tame#he's imbued with Ruju's air element magic and is known to make the air spark and smell of ozone when he's annoyed#then there's Blitz his lepidote brute skyscale! he likes bloodstone magic and kept nipping everyone until it was finally provided#the rest I don't have in-game yet but I DO have concepts for the skimmer/warclaw/raptor. the 1st 2 I know what skins I want too#the skimmer will be a frosty-dyed lithosol named Frostbite. it's an ice elemental that terrorized Frostgorge Sound#the warclaw is a spinetail nian with jungle colors since it's supposed to be a smokescale-type saurian critter#and the raptor is SUPPOSED to be the jungle raptor that plointt grew to huge size and promptly tried to eat him#BUT there isn't a skin that feels close enough yet so rip. Fang is a handful tho and keeps trying to chew on Inquest HDJDGDH#ANYWAY. that's all of mine. throws this into the wind
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