#but if i could feel how i do when i exist by myself with someone else

[hyuniemyunie]

cho hyun ju x top male reader⋆⭒˚.⋆

nsfw

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(ФωФ): testing out her new pussy. yeah.

IM SO SORRY I DELETED YOUR ASK ON ACCIDENT LEO PFP IM SO SORRYYY😭😭😭

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･

Hyun-Ju had never been the type to lean on others. Independence had been burned into her bones from the moment she stepped into military training, reinforced by years of isolation, survival, and a deep-seated fear of being seen as anything less than capable. But now, as she lay in the soft glow of warm lamplight, body still adjusting to the changes she had long dreamed of, she found herself allowing something new—vulnerability.

The apartment was quiet except for the rhythmic hum of the city outside, faint sirens wailing in the distance, the occasional chatter of late-night pedestrians. It felt oddly peaceful. The kind of peace she had never thought she would deserve. But here, wrapped in fresh sheets and the warmth of another body beside her, she let herself breathe.

Her fingers ghosted over the band of gauze still lingering on her side, a subconscious reminder of the journey she had taken to reach this moment. The weight of the past was still there—heavy, aching—but the presence next to her grounded her in the present.

"How do you feel?" your voice was gentle, but there was an underlying firmness to it, a steady presence that always managed to keep her from spiraling too deep into her own thoughts.

Hyun-Ju let out a slow breath, tilting her head toward you. Even in the dim light, she could see the concern etched into your expression, the way your eyes traced over her as if making sure she was still real. She had been through hell, and you had been there, waiting, patient.

“I feel…” she paused, struggling to find the right words. For so long, her body had felt like a battlefield—one she fought against, one she endured, one she reshaped with every ounce of willpower she had. And now, after everything, it was hers. Truly hers. The realization was overwhelming in ways she hadn't expected. "Better. Lighter." She exhaled a small laugh. "Like I can finally just… exist."

You smiled, shifting closer, your hand reaching for hers. She let you take it, intertwining your fingers like it was the most natural thing in the world. The warmth of your skin against hers was steady, reassuring. It made her feel seen, whole, despite the scars—both the ones that marked her body and the ones she carried inside.

“You deserve this," you murmured, thumb brushing softly over her knuckles. "Every part of it. The peace. The happiness. Feeling comfortable in your own skin."

She swallowed, emotions tightening in her throat. It had been so long since someone had looked at her this way—not just with desire, but with understanding. With patience.

A beat of silence passed before she spoke again, her voice softer now. "It's been a long time since I let myself be… held like this." A small, self-conscious chuckle escaped her. "I think I forgot how."

You didn’t rush to respond. Instead, you lifted her hand to your lips, pressing a lingering kiss against her knuckles before meeting her gaze again.

"Then let me remind you."

Her breath hitched slightly, heat creeping up her neck. There was something about the way you said it—not demanding, not forceful, just a quiet promise. A reassurance that she didn’t have to prove anything right now. She could just be.

She squeezed your hand in response, lips parting as if to say something, but in the end, she simply let herself melt into your touch.

Hyun-Ju tensed slightly as you leaned down, a flicker of self-consciousness passing through her. It was one thing to feel comfortable in her own skin, but it was another to be so vulnerable, so exposed. Especially when the body she now inhabited was still so new to her, the changes still settling into place.

She swallowed hard, heart pounding in her chest as you gently parted her legs, cool air meeting her newly formed folds. The gauze bandage was gone now, revealing smooth, unblemished skin that seemed to glisten softly in the low light. The sight of it, the reality of what she had endured and achieved, made her throat constrict with emotion. Your gaze was soft as it traced over her, taking in every dip and curve of her transformed body. There was no judgement, no hesitation—only a quiet appreciation, a gentle wonder. It made her feel cherished, desired, in a way that she had never experienced before.

She could feel the heat of your breath against her most intimate place, could sense the way you were taking in every detail. Part of her wanted to close her legs, to hide herself away from your gaze. But a bigger part of her, the part that had fought so hard to claim this body as her own, wanted to be seen. Wanted to revel in the fact that she was finally, truly a woman.

Your fingers brushed softly over her outer lips, tracing the delicate skin with a gentleness that made her shiver. She was still getting used to the sensitivity, the way every touch seemed amplified, electrified. Your fingertips dipped lower, parting her folds with a careful, teasing motion.

A soft gasp escaped her at the contact, back arching slightly off the bed. Her hands clenched in the sheets, gripping the fabric tightly as a wave of sensation crashed over her. Your finger circled her clit, drawing a whimper from her throat. The sound was foreign to her own ears, a desperate, needy thing that she had never allowed herself to make before. But here, now, with you, she let it spill freely from her lips.

"Hyun-Ju," you murmured, your voice a low rumble that she could feel vibrating through her core. "You're beautiful."

Hyun-Ju's breath hitched, a flush spreading over her cheeks at the raw, intimate way you were looking at her most private place. She could feel the heat of your gaze, the weight of your admiration, and it made her feel seen in a way she never had before. Exposed, but in the best possible way.

Your finger traced lower, teasing along her slit with a feather-light touch. She was already wet, arousal glistening on her newly formed folds. A soft moan escaped her as you explored her, hips shifted restlessly against the sheets, body canting into your touch. She could feel the ache building inside her, the desperation for more.

But you were taking your time, savoring every moment. Your finger circled her entrance, applying the lightest pressure, before dipping inside just slightly. The stretch was new, unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. She could feel her body yielding to you, opening up, inviting you in.

"Please," she gasped out, voice trembling with need. "Touch me more."

Your eyes flicked up to meet hers, a smirk playing at the corners of your mouth. "Patience, Hyun-Ju," you murmured, voice low and teasing. "I want to take this slow. I want to make this good for you."

She whimpered, fingers twisting in the sheets as your finger pushed in a little deeper. The sensation was overwhelming, pleasure coiling tight in her lower belly.

Hyun-Ju's heart raced as she heard your words, a thrill running through her at the promise in your tone. She could feel the urgency building inside her, the desperate need for more. The slow, teasing touches were driving her to the brink of madness, leaving her aching and wanting.

Without warning, you plunged two fingers deep inside her, filling her in one swift motion. A cry tore from her throat, back arching off the bed as pleasure exploded through her. She was so tight, so hot and slick around your invading digits. You could feel her walls clenching down, gripping you like a vice.

"Fuck, you're so tight," you groaned, pumping your fingers in and out of her. Your other hand reached up to palm her breast, kneading the soft flesh. "I can feel you squeezing around me."

Hyun-Ju could only moan in response, lost to the sensation of finally being filled, of being touched the way she had always dreamed of being touched. Your thumb found her clit, rubbing tight circles over the sensitive nub. Sparks of ecstasy shot through her with each press, each flick.

She could feel the pleasure building, the coil of tension in her belly winding tighter and tighter. Her hips rocked into your hand, meeting each thrust, silently begging for more. The obscene sound of wet flesh meeting wet flesh filled the room, punctuated by her increasingly desperate moans.

"Yes, fuck, don't stop," she gasped out, fingers tangling in your hair. "Feels so good..hah..haah..I'm so-so close!"

You could feel her walls beginning to flutter around your fingers, her body tensing. You doubled your efforts, fingers pumping harder, faster, as you rubbed her clit with quick, firm strokes. Your mouth found her nipple, suckling hard, grazing the sensitive bud with your teeth.

That was all it took to send Hyun-Ju hurtling over the edge. Her orgasm crashed through her like a tidal wave, back bowing as she moaned out her pleasure into the room. Her sex clenched down around your fingers, gripping you like a silken vice as she rode out the intense waves of her climax.

You gentled your touch, letting her float down from her high as you slowly withdrew your fingers from her still spasming core. Hyun-Ju collapsed back onto the bed, chest heaving, a sheen of sweat coating her skin. her eyes fluttered open, a hazy gaze falling upon you as you shifted between her legs. She could see the prominent bulge straining against your clothing, the evidence of your own arousal. A part of her felt a flicker of nerves, unsure of how this would feel, how she would handle the addition of your penis inside her still new, sensitive body. But a bigger part of her felt a surge of desire, a deep yearning to feel you inside her in the most intimate way possible.

"Let me see it," she murmured, voice low and sultry. "I want to see you."

With a small smirk, you reached down and freed yourself from the confines of your clothing. It sprang out, long and hard, the tip already glistening with pre-cum. Hyun-Ju's tongue darted out, wetting her suddenly dry lips as she took in the sight.

You wrapped a hand around your length, stroking it slowly as you positioned yourself at her entrance. She could feel the heat of you, the weight of you, poised to claim her once more.

"I'll go slow," you promised, voice rough with desire. "Let me know if it's too much."

Hyun-Ju nodded, a breathless "okay" slipping past her lips. She trusted you, more than she had ever trusted anyone. She knew you would take care of her, would make this good for her.

With a deep breath, you began to push forward, the head breaching her entrance. Hyun-Ju gasped, back arching slightly as she felt the stretch, the unfamiliar pressure. It was intense, almost too much, but not painful. Just new.

You paused, letting her adjust, as you slowly sank deeper inside her. Centimeter by centimeter, inch by inch, until you were fully sheathed inside her tight heat. Hyun-Ju's eyes widened, a low moan falling from her lips as she felt so utterly full, so completely claimed.

"Fuck, you feel incredible," you groaned, hips still pressed flush against hers. "So tight and perfect."

She could only whimper in response, walls fluttering around your cock, trying to adjust to the intrusion. It was a strange sensation, but not an unwelcome one. She took a shuddering breath, trying to relax her body, to let you sink even deeper inside her. She could feel every ridge, every vein, every pulsing throb of your dick as it stretched her open.

"You feel so big inside me," she gasped out, voice trembling slightly. "you're reaching so..so deep.."

You smirked at that, giving a shallow thrust of your hips, burying yourself even further into her hot, slick depths. "Is it too big, Hyun-Ju? Too much?"

She shook her head quickly, fingers digging into your shoulders. "No, no, it's perfect. You're perfect."

Emboldened by her words, you began to move, pulling out slowly until just the tip remained before plunging back in. You set a steady rhythm, not too fast, not too hard, letting her feel every inch of you as you claimed her body.

Hyun-Ju matched your rhythm, hips rolling up to meet yours. She was still getting used to the sensation, to the feeling of you deep inside her, but it was quickly becoming addictive. Each thrust sent sparks of pleasure racing through her nerves, stoking the fire in her belly.

Your mouth found hers in a hungry kiss, tongue delving past her lips to taste her deeply. You consumed her moans, swallowed her cries of pleasure as you continued to move inside her. One hand slid down to circle her clit, rubbing the sensitive nub in time with your thrusts.

The dual stimulation was almost too much, pushing her closer and closer to the edge. She could feel the coil of tension in her core winding tighter and tighter, the pleasure cresting like a wave poised to break.

"I'm getting close," she gasped against your lips, walls beginning to flutter around your pistoning length. "Don't stop, please don't stop."

Hyun-Ju's body trembled as the pleasure mounted, each deep stroke of your cock pushing her closer to the brink.

"Doll, you feel amazing," you groaned, your thrusts becoming more urgent, more insistent. "So pretty.."

She could only moan in response, nails raking down your back and leaving angry red marks as she clung to you. Every muscle in her body was pulled taut, every nerve ending alight with sensation. The world narrowed down to the point where you were joined, the slide of your penis in and out of her dripping sex.

"Yes, fuck, don't stop!" she gasped out, words punctuated by desperate, needy cries. "I'm so close, I'm gonna... I'm gonna..."

Her second orgasm hit her and it hit her hard, making her back arch sharply off the bed. Her pussy clamped down around your cock, gripping you rhythmically as waves of ecstasy crashed over her. In the midst of her climax, she felt you swell even harder inside her, your thrusts becoming erratic, urgent. With a groan, you buried yourself to the hilt inside her spasming body and let go.

Hyun-Ju could feel you pulsing, could feel the hot spurts of your cum painting her insides. The sensation prolongued her own orgasm, each pulse pushing her to new heights of bliss.

Finally, as the last aftershocks faded, you collapsed against her, both of you slick with sweat and panting for breath. Hyun-Ju wrapped her arms around you, holding you close as she savored the afterglow.

"That was... incredible," you murmured, voice rough with satisfaction. "You did so well, my love."

She smiled softly, a sense of pride and contentment warming her from the inside out. "Yeah? you too, thank you."

Hyun-Ju and you lay entwined, basking in the afterglow of your passionate lovemaking. The room was filled with the soft sounds of your mingled breaths slowly returning to normal, the occasional contented sigh escaping your lips.

As the minutes ticked by, you could feel yourself softening inside her, the initial tight fit loosening slightly. Hyun-Ju made no move to dislodge you, seeming content to stay connected, to feel you deep within her.

You lifted your head to look at her, taking in the sight of her flushed cheeks and the dreamy, sated look in her eyes. She was a vision of pure, unadulterated bliss, and the knowledge that you were the one who had brought her to such heights of pleasure filled you with a deep sense of satisfaction.

"Thank you," Hyun-Ju murmured, voice low and soft, almost reverent. "That was... thank you for making this so special for me."

You brushed a strand of sweat-damp hair from her forehead, cupping her face in your palm. "No, sweet thing, thank YOU. You trusted me, opened yourself up to me, and let yourself feel everything. That took incredible courage and vulnerability."

She leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. As you both lay there, wrapped up in each other, the city outside continued its endless march of time. But in that moment, nothing else mattered. There was only the two of you, lost in the haze of intimacy and connection.

Finally, with a soft groan, you carefully pulled out of Hyun-Ju, your cock slipping from her body with a gush of combined fluids. She shivered slightly at the sudden emptiness, automatically clenching her thighs together.

You rolled to the side, pulling her with you so that she was curled up against your chest, her head pillowed on your shoulder. Your arms wrapped around her, holding her close, keeping her safe and warm.

"Rest now," you murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "You've earned it."

Hyun-Ju nodded, a soft smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Together.." she whispered, snuggling closer, her eyes drifting shut slowly.

[plaidcowboy]

taking care of 𓂃 rafe cameron while he’s spiraling

⟳⠀ a little inebriated rafe ⟳⠀after an argument with ward

⊹ you blinked into the open space of your room, slowly collecting your coherence as you listened to the voice over the phone. it took a second to realize you were hearing rafe mumbling, not sounding like himself. you quickly jolted up in bed at his quiet, but frantic words.

“i just don’t get why everything i do goes unnoticed.. unappreciated. i saved him. she didn’t do anything but run off and betray us. i got the cross. i killed that sheriff for him. me, rafe.. i don’t understand what happened with us..”

it broke your heart to hear his voice crack. you nursed your phone against your cheek, letting him get everything out. where was he? did his words sound partially slurred or was that your still half asleep mind? but you were so glad he called you in a moment this vulnerable. after months of being with rafe, he had a habit of keeping his feelings in and not letting you into his mind. despite this, you constantly told him you were always there if he needed an outlet.

you heard a dry chuckle across the line. “he even tried to blame you. my precious girl.. does he know how much i didn’t know i needed you? he can’t even begin to understand the love we share. he doesn’t have someone to take care of him like you do with me. he crossed the line when he mentioned you.. i just lost it..”

you placed a hand over your mouth, letting his words and current state settle in. you couldn’t let yourself get focused on ward’s thoughts of you. you knew he wasn’t a good man. you knew he didn’t deserve rafe’s respect. after months of knowing this, and knowing the fights he and rafe got into, never was it like this. this truly was breaking you.

you softly sniffled, not realizing you were getting worked up. “it’s okay, baby. it’s okay to let out that frustration. i’m so proud of you for letting yourself feel it. i’m even prouder you called me. that’s so good, rafe.”

you heard him breathing over the line, not speaking for a second. you took this opportunity to find out his whereabouts.

“um.. do you know where you are right now? can you see any signs?” you got up, walking to your closet to throw on a jacket and slip on a pair of shoes, waiting for him to answer.

it was another second of silence before he responded quietly, prompting you to listen closer. “i needed to hear your voice. i know you told me you’d be an outlet, but i didn’t think i’d have to use that outlet, but i needed it..”

you paused after grabbing your keys, listening intently, clinging on to his every word.

“..i needed to hear you. that makes everything better. i can’t see you right now, and i can’t let you see me, but i needed to feel you somehow.”

you slightly panicked at rafe telling you, you couldn’t see him. “rafe, i already see you even if i physically can’t. but i would really like to see you. do you think you could tell me where you are, handsome?” you didn’t let your voice portray your desperation too much. you didn’t want to let him know he was worrying you. then, he really wouldn’t let you go near him. not if he knew he was making you scared.

you could hear chatter grow louder around him as he answered. “i..” he pushed out a heavy sigh. “..i’m not disappointing you, am i? because i.. i won’t tell you if you’re disappointed in me right now. i’ll fix it.. i’ll fix myself and give you time to think.. i can’t have you upset with me..” he voice broke off softly at the end.

you were out of your room and outside, heading towards your car as he finished his sentence. “rafe, i think it’s impossible for me to feel anything diminishing about you. that feeling doesn’t exist inside of me. there is nothing, rafe, you could do or say that would make me view you differently from the caring and gentle hearted man you are.”

you were pressing on the gas, making your way toward where you knew rafe was without him having to say it.

this time it was him that sniffled, and you couldn’t grip the wheel tighter at the sound. he affirmed your thought of his location after a beat of still silence from his side.

“this might be impossible for rafe cameron, but can you please stay still?” you softly chuckled, attempting to lighten the tone, panic easing from you now that you were making your towards him.

“yeah, i’ll try” was his muttered response.

you were pulling up to the restaurant a few minutes later, rushing out of your car and looking around for rafe.

it wasn’t long before you spotted him outside at a high rise table, his head hanging slighty over his arms that were pressed atop of the table. standing tall, and standing oddly still. doubt didn’t dawn on you that rafe would listen, but him literally holding himself still was something you weren’t expecting. you softly shook your head, walking up to him.

he saw you from his peripheral, but sensed you before he actually knew you were approaching. turning his head, his expression couldn’t seem to turn softer and his posture more relaxed.

his face started to crumble, and you quickly reached around him to pull him into a hug, tugging his head down to rest on your shoulder.

you couldn’t feel the clawing and gripping of his hands as he tried to hold you inhumanly closer. only relief that he was in your arms now, and not afar over the phone.

“i’m sorry..” he softly uttered into your top. “..i’m sorry you have to see me like this.. but it’s messed up that i don’t care. i needed to feel you, to touch you, even if it meant you seeing me this way..”

you dug your face into his side, willing your eyes to not produce the tears you felt coming on.

“i can’t.. i won’t let go. you’re gonna leave if i let go, and you can’t leave me. you can’t..”

he spoke so softly you knew it was a thought that he didn’t mean to say out loud.

you reared back, pulling up his head to face you. the sorrow in his eyes felt like the last tug at your heart to finally pull it from its strings.

“i’m never letting go, so you can’t.”

rafe’s arms came down, his hands both cupping over one of your hands. you took it as the sign rafe was ready to leave. was ready to only be near you.

you turned, walking back towards your car, feeling his hands tighten. you went to open the passenger side for rafe when he pulled you back, halting you.

you turned towards him to ask what was wrong when he pulled the back door open instead. he nodded his head into the opening, gesturing for you to climb in first. you did so, not once letting his hands slip from your one. rafe was right behind you, closing the door behind him.

you laid your legs out, letting him settle between them and rest himself against you. he was holding you up to your promise of never letting him go.

you wrapped your arms around him, listening to his breathing. he had done so much talking, it was time for you to return it.

“you’re perfect to me. for me. if no one else can see your worth, they’re not worth your time, rafe. there’s nothing for you to be sorry for. i am so, so glad you called me. it doesn’t hurt seeing you like this as much as it would hurt to know you were going through this alone. there’s nowhere i would rather be than right here with you.”

rafe settled closer into you, always needing to be so close to you it seemed as if you shared the same skin.

“i don’t need anyone but you. i only need you seeing me and really knowing me.. can you just hold me for right now? please.”

as if you would ever deny him. “of course. whatever you need.”

it was a second before you heard him mutter something, not aware he was responding to what you said.

“just you.”

ϧ𝑒ׅ ࣪

[genderqueerdykes]

Really appreciate this blog and what it shares. Got into an arguement with someone who was a transfem TIRF (didn’t realize that was even a thing at the time lmao) and it left me feeling really upset due to the both gross ways she’d talked about trans men and the fact that she got a lot of support in the notes. So coming here and seeing in fact most people love and care about us transmascs is nice.

Won’t argue again next time I see an account like that cuz it’s kinda obvious people in those circles are prolly not getting out but yeah.

i am so sorry you had that experience. i'm glad you're advocating for yourself and choosing to not argue with that person again.

i honestly refuse to socialize with a person when i see them be that openly hateful with no attempts to change. i stopped talking to one of my old roommates after he started saying all kinds of transandrophobic shit, shitting on transmascs bodies and calling them gross because he's "gay" and could never be into vaginas or breasts. my ex (trans)gf literally fucking yelled at me for not wanting to be his friend after this. like actually fucking yelled at me numerous times. i asked her if she would be comfortable staying his friend if he was transmisogynistic toward her and told her her body was disgusting, and she said yeah of course, as if somehow that wouldn't cause her pain. nobody gave a flying fuck about how transandrophobia affects transmascs, so i said fuck all of you and stopped being their friends.

there are so many people who have gladly jumped on the rad fem train and it's so sad. that's no way to live your life. that's such a hateful ideology. rad feminism is nothing but hate. it's hate for yourself for being a woman because you equate womanhood to suffering. it's hate for other women because they're not women "right" like you are. it's hate for transmascs and trans men. it's hate for nonbinary people. it's hate for genderfluid people. it's hate for trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, gnc, bi, & pan lesbians. it's hate for butches who are men. for TIRFs in specific, it's hate for other trans people because they're "trans wrong". rad feminism is hatred all the way down no matter how you look at it. rad feminism will never be productive or progressive. it's about wallowing in your misery, mining for sympathy and pity, and crying about how you're powerless and defenseless instead of doing something about it. it's admitting defeat.

as a fellow transmasc, i'm just over it. i'm not gonna stew in self hatred. i had a friend who WAS transmasc who basically forced me to hate myself for being a trans man. always going on and on about how they hated certain transmascs and trans men, how they were "Whiny and entitled"... yikes dude. you can keep hating yourself over there, but i genuinely love being transmasc & a trans man. coming out as a trans man literally saved my fucking life. i was a depressed mess that hated myself before i came out. i've never loved myself more. and if someone else can't love what i love about myself? they're not worth my damn time.

i'm not here to throw transmascs under the bus just to kiss up to transfems to try to look progressive for brownie points. that shit is underhanded and dirty. we can support all trans people at once. we aren't football teams. you don't have to pit random queer identities against one another. we're on the same side. none of us are enemies. none.

thanks for taking the time to stop by! take care of yourself, i'm glad that i could help in any way. i am just OVER people forcing transmascs and trans men to hate themselves and exist solely to talk about trans women and transfems and nothing else. i am just over people making men and mascs feel like shit. it's done. it's over. i'm not participating, and neither are you. pack that shit up into a box, and throw it in the garbage. we're working together whether or not you like it. the only way we get out of this is together. our fight for liberation is NOT a crab bucket- you do NOT have to pull someone else down when you see them rise up and advocate for themselves.

[unknownogre]

( I got a little inspired from Facebook...and was just able to sit down today to write it. I approached it not exactly from the prompt's direction too but that is the scene that popped in my head.)

“Well…I have to ask, am I dead?”

Moments ago I was just sitting at my desk sipping a cup of coffee playing a lovely game of slaughter the Nazi when I found myself suddenly not there. Still had my coffee in had though, Deadpool pajama pants for the whole damn world to see no shoes and, I’m sorry to those that had to see me, no shirt. Someone was standing in front of me too, lithe build with a very baggy hoodie and baggy pants on wearing some kind of sneaker and a face that was obscured by shadows that were impossibly dark for the time of day and location.

“No, finish your coffee and let’s go.”

Fuck…people were walking around us like they didn’t notice me or them. The voice of the person was androgynous and a touch echoey. I knew one thing in this moment, without introduction and without me even having to ask the question, in my bones I knew this was Death. THE Death the primordial force that will exist until the end of the universe.  So weird, I wonder if they developed that power just to make it easier.

“Alright, fuck it. Not like I have a choice do I…?”

I already hate this. I’ve got body issues, most fat guys do no matter the praise they get. Fuck, I hope I don’t have to fight anything. I have no idea how I’ll do. I don’t fight, no one wants to fight me so I’ve never had to.

“No you don’t have to fight. Maybe, I’m not sure. People handle the situation differently. I’m just Death, I don’t know the future or the past. Think there is a time you’re supposed to die? Absolutely not. Chaos my friend. Complete Chaos.”

That…honestly that made me feel a lot better about a lot of things. Though to delve into that right now would completely pull my focus away from whatever this is.

“Why me?”

I had to ask as we walked another block. If Death was powerful enough to just pull me out of my living room I figured we could at least get closer, though…my feet don’t hurt even though they are bare so that is good at least.

“In a two-thousand-mile radius of my current problem your soul was the only one that matched what I needed…what ever that is. I don’t know have exact details. I just know when I problem arises and I need help I concentrate and the one who is best able to help just appears to me like a blip on a radar.”

Well…it is nice to be needed right. I mean I doubt that is the case, I’m not that special. I’m just me. I took another sip of my coffee.

“What do I get out of this?”

I don’t work for free. I’m completely convinced when given any modicum of power I’d go full on super villain. I know at my core I’m evil, just the kind of evil that still wants to protect those that love and cherish. Touch my wife and I’ll burn the whole damn world down, same for my kid. So again, I wonder why I was the blip.

“A favor.”

That was all Death needed to say. I get a favor from Death, I mean I bet there are rules and what not attached to it, but who wouldn’t want a favor from Death. That was enough for me.

“And lunch. A favor and lunch and you have yourself a deal.”

Death stopped and turned around to look at me, I could feel the weight of their gaze too but I just stood there and stared at where I thought their eyes would be crossing my arms across my chest with a smirk…Never take fully what is offered. Ask for just a little more.

“You got it. Cause I know what you want…hell I want it too. A favor and lunch.”

That was good enough for me. Almost made me forget I was shirtless and barefoot in a large city. We approached a hospital and headed right in. We passed the nurses station, and I was able to grab a scrub top much to their confusion. I felt better with a shirt on at least. We went up to the morgue…and there…holy crap.

It was some kind of creature, twisted with pitch flesh and blood ooze from various places, like self-inflicted wounds. It was just roaring and trying to smash through things it couldn’t fully interact with. There were some forms in the corner cowering in fear…ghosts? I don’t have time to question everything.

“Calm them down.”

…wait…what?!..

It was just a roaring beast that was at least six feet tall. I think it was meant to be bi-pedal but it was only that way sometimes. Like how some movies show werewolves, like they can walk a few steps until they want to run and then it is down on all fours.

“Well…fuck. Okay. Hey.”

I started waving slightly. The creature made a swipe for me but It was slow I was able to step back to avoid it. The ‘mission’ was to calm them down. Calm, not hurt, not subdue but calm.

“HEY!”

I said again, but this time with the power of dad voice. I didn’t like using it much, unless we were outside and my kid was about to run into a parking lot or something just as dangerous. I have NO information to go off of. Death wasn’t a planner were they? The creature’s attention was fully on me now. Good, that is what I needed…not what I wanted though. I knew I wasn’t dead now because my heart was hammering in my chest.

“Knock it the fuck off okay. You are scaring the shit out of these other people. What the hell is going on anyway? I’m sure being dead sucks but this…this can’t be good for you, can it?”

The creature seemed to understand my words if only for a moment before it roared at me. Its mouth…chilling. Elongated like a wolf but the teeth…they were human. I could make money on this if I could get into practical effects and recreate the look.

What to do. I had to use a chair to keep it back and out of swiping range. I don’t think I can actually die here…but maybe no risk no reward.

“This can’t kill you, but if it manages to hurt you too bad I am SOL and will have to destroy it completely. I don’t want to do that so I brought you.”

So it was a soul, something twisted and probably not evil. Otherwise there would be no sympathy. I need more compassion. The  creatures attention was still on me and all those cowering in the corner were watching with rapt attention. There is a lot of rage here, so much anger, and where there is anger there is sadness. Okay…okay…got it.

“Hey, we are just gonna talk alright. I won’t yell anymore. Just calm, just calm and cool. Listen I can’t help you right now. Not with all this rage and aggression. Trust me. I want to help you. I get nothing out of the situation if you are harmed. What happened? Why are you so angry?”

It took another swipe at me. Fuck…this thing is strong, almost knocked the chair out of my hands. It was hurt, even it was just by itself. When I met its gaze I could see such sadness. Rage and sadness. I got you.

“Hey. Listen, I am here for you, okay? I am here for you. Not Death, not these people in the corner, you and just you. Fuck any reward…fuck anything else okay. Just me and you here. I am your friend. No one touches you unless they step over my literal dead body, which isn’t even HERE so they are screwed trying to find it. You don’t deserve this, what ever this is. So talk to me. Let me help you, that is all I want right now.”

That caused the creature to pause and look at me. Tears welling up in its eyes. I see why I was called. Most people wouldn’t look in its eyes, they couldn’t see the pain there. They’d see the twisted muscle, the claws…they’d be hostile. Monsters were fantasy for me until I was brought here.

“I…they…momma…MOMMA!”

It cried and looked around panicked. This is a child. THIS IS A CHILD! Thank gods I didn’t hit it, and now I know why the dad voice caused it to pause. I wonder if these souls were trying to help before or where they just trying to leave after they died? Hard to say.

“Hey kid…calm down. Shhhh I got you okay. You want to see your Mom once more. We got you okay. Did they take you and here away at the same time?”

The kid seemed calmer now, just tears streaming from its eyes. They nodded and seemed to wrap their twisted arms around themselves, rocking a little bit. Certainly a kid. I sighed for a moment.

“Would you like a hug? I can give you a hug if you’d allow. Sometimes its nice to just get grounded. I’m a dad, so I can only imagine how it is being separated from your mom. I give the best hugs too, I’m like a teddy bear.”

That is why my daughter said when she was younger anyway. Daddy bear hugs. The child looked to me hesitantly and then nodded slowly. I got up from the chair and I moved slowly. I had no weapons, I’m a big dude but people say they aren’t scared of me. I like to think I’m not scary normally anyway. When I got close enough I just wrapped my arms around them. Sure some of their spikes went into my skin, hurt like a bitch too, the blood smelled terrible as well…still though. Sometimes a hug is what the doctor called for. The kid just started to cry. Its massive head put on my shoulder and nestled into the crook of my neck like my daughter did plenty of times when she was little. I felt they shift, the sound of…gods I don’t know, snapping bone and such was heard all around. I just closed my eyes and held the kid for as long as they squeezed me back.

Soon, I was holding a five year old boy who was finally calming down from all the crying. The holes from the wounds and claws were still there on my body but he looked alright. Oddly I wasn’t bleeding…wonder if that was Death’s doing? Or do I not bleed if I’m not solid? Too many questions I’ll leave for another day.

“Can you take us to his mom?”

Death just nodded as I held the kid in my arms. We left the morgue and went to a hospital room where the kids mother was. She was alive, but badly hurt. Apparently there was a car accident, they got hit by a drunk driver. The kid was dead just after arriving. Freaked out when he couldn’t find his mom. I held him for a while.

“Momma will be okay?”

He asked me and I looked to Death who nodded with a touch of a shrug. I know, chaos on all that stuff, suddenly I was a little less reassured.

“She’ll be okay little one. Best thing you can do is let Death take you to the next world, be as happy as you can. Your mom will cross over eventually, and then you two can play. Just be happy and play as much as you can in the meantime okay?”

The little boy nodded and I set him down, he walked to his mom and gave her a kiss on the cheek before turning to go hold hands with Death. Sudden I was back in front of my desk…wearing the scrubs top my coffee cup filled to my liking.

“Get dressed. Lunch is gonna be in an hour.”

I heard Death’s voice in my mind. I could only grinned. I was about to get my favorite sandwich on the planet, that alone was worth it. Still, I would have done it for free if there was nothing Death could give me. That kid needed the guidance. I wonder how many have crossed over and looked to reunite with someone but couldn’t due to held back rage and depression. That…that breaks my heart.

“Also thank you. You were certainly the best pick.”

I smiled at that, again…feeling useful was nice. Well time to get dressed, I wonder how Death will get me half-way across the country to that sandwich place? I don’t care…number 15 here I come.

[the-fabled-void]

What’s your opinion on Lust Sans? How do you think the creator could have handled hypersexuality better? Because honestly I don’t think it was handled very well -as a hypersexual anon myself.

What’s your opinion on Lust Sans? How do you think the creator could have handled hypersexuality better? Because honestly I don’t think it was handled very well -as a hypersexual anon myself.

I can't really say much about hypersexuality as i have no experience with it, and it's been a while since I read the Underlust comic.

One thing I have to say, I don't think NSFWShamecave probably didn't intent to portray SPECIFICALLY hypersexuality? From my understanding at least it doesn't seem like it.

Despite the way monsters behave being similar to hypersexuality, I believe the creator was trying to portray something that they believed was fictional. (The lore reason being the fact that everyone's injected with an aphrodisiac.)

And that's where a lot of the issues come from.

I will have to say, it was a genuine attempt by someone to make something with serious lore out of an AU with origins that are hard to take seriously. I would blame it on age, but I'm just gonna go on a limb and say someone with the username NSFWShamecave was at least 18 back then.

Regardless, it's not a story that's easy to tell. Even with genuine intentions, their story- you can tell it wasn't made by someone who knows their stuff.

Additionally, it seems like a kind of AU where the creator thought 'designs first, lore after'.

Which isn't a bad thing on it's own! It's interesting to already have a point in the story that the characters are at and think "okay, how did they reach it". But the creator didn't execute it well.

There's also the 'love fixes everything' vibes I remember getting with Papyton with what happened to Mettaton.

The AU itself feels kinda puritan, with Frisk needing to show the monsters true love as if they've never had it before. It feels extremely reminiscent of the internet's culture at the time, especially the Undertale fandom. I remember being very active on Wattpad at the time, and I remember on there... It was treated jokingly, but we did call anything sexual 'sin' and shamed people for being into it (12 year olds like I was SHOULDN'T be into it, but still...)

Not to mention... Chara. Obviously the character who was the fandom's genocide scapegoat, who was seem as evil back then, is gonna be made weirdly lustful. Good thing they aged them up, I'm glad this creator didn't try to dive into child hypersexuality (while it does exist, someone with those views on sexuality would not have handled that very well, and they would have received more scrutiny), but giving them the soul trait of Lust? That was probably not the best way of explaining why everyone is horny.

In short:

The main issues are that the creator was portraying a real issue bad because they didn't know it was real, and that the creator wasn't all that experienced in writing stories (and designed most characters other than Mettaton and Frisk without a story for them in mind).

As for Lust Sans himself, I didn't really answer that question specifically very well, did I?

Firstly, he suffers from what most characters in the story do.

Additionally, as a Sans, I'm gonna have to think about him in the context of the multiverse.

His portrayal is what happens when an already not too well executed idea is brought towards a bunch of kids.

Of course there were older people in the fandom, but I say the majority of us were not the intended demographic for the AU.

And kids, especially in today's day and age, are notorious for wanting to seem mature and therefore portray stuff for adults, but at the end of the day, we weren't and we couldn't.

So Lust, in especially the early fandom's eyes, was reduced to "non-consensual flirt bordering on rapist".

-

I do have my own version of the AU, slightly altered. So far it's just lore from the AU itself instead of individual characters or story. I wasn't really planning on doing much with it, and I made it before voicing my own criticism, so it doesn't really address more than the Chara sexualization. Feel free to read it if you're curious though!

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

[fluentisonus]

.

[nonsensechemicals]

covert npd is awesome and i want to live and i’m going to listen to song about pirates

[the-casbah-way]

i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry

[mainfaggot]

the problem is that i have the temperament of a caged animal, but i also have no end goal lol haha isnt that funny. everyone start pointing and laughing already

[arsenicflame]

i do think being unconditionally loved is an experience that can be so so healing actually. it cant ever fix anything alone but to feel loved and valued and considered is something that makes carrying burdens just that little bit easier. to trust that youre someone they think about when youre not around, because they tell you. to feel like youre someone important to them because they tell you. to feel safe in knowing youre not being too intense, too annoying, too much, because everything you offer is offered right back without a seconds hesitation. this isnt something i ever thought id get to have, but i found it when i wasnt even looking. and no, it still isnt easy. it doesn't change most things. but it gives you a reason to try.

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

[cuteniaarts]

Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

[kavehayati]

I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm so desperately bored rn. can't do anything. because all I want to do is think about Dan or Jenkins. but I don't want to let myself do that because then I'll lie down and fall asleep and the day will be over and it'll feel like I didn't do anything.

can't even watch anything. nothing feels right. I'm. so bored. I tried drawing but. nope. head empty.

[rucow]

everyone talks about how nice it so have people be interested in your OCs, stories, yourself etc. but no one talks about how that can also be really draining bc some of us just don't feel the need to share our ideas with others, especially when we're put on the spot and interrogated