#but idk my brain isn't giving me any real direction with what to do with those thoughts HGLKDSJF it just. feels significant to me

[marshmellowtea]

i have. no insight to add to these screenshots all being placed next to each other but by god is looking at them making me insane. i've connected the dots dot jpeg

[bunnakit]

my stand in episode 1 thoughts, feelings, etc.

OHOHOOO FINALLY. FINALLY I FEEL INSANE ABOUT A SHOW AGAIN. poom phuripan my absolute beloved, i've missed you so fucking much.

the show really eases you into everything and so far i don't mind the back and forth, i think it's interesting to see the direct consequences and THEN the story of how we got here. i don't know if my opinion on that will change later but for right now it's really pleasing me. i also really like this gradual introduction we're getting into everything and the sort of thriller/mystery vibe to it all. it's giving me some very loose/vague manner of death vibes.

i immediately don't like the vibes of tong or wut but i'm reserving any real accusations until later, but i'm def side eyeing them. i've got my eye on you two.

it really took my brain some getting used to to understanding the joe we're seeing is joe's consciousness and everyone else is seeing the joe that was shown in his reflection in the hospital (i've never seen vice versa or many other shows that do this, forgive me) but once i wrapped my head around it i actually quite like it. mostly bc it means i still get to see a lot of poom.

anyway - thus far this has one of my favorite romance tropes; guy who is used to being treated badly/ignored and man who has too much love to give (to someone who may or may not deserve it, judgement withstanding on that rn.) joe is just such a heart eyed fool and i'm so glad to see poom in another role of lovesick, unfairly attractive, dork. it's a role he plays so well and he immediately endears you to joe so fucking much.

throughout most of the episode i was like ooh this is a bummer but the angst isn't too bad. and then. AND THEN.

ming coming over to joe's house and making a move on him, again, from the perspective of behind joe - where he looks so much like tong. the lamenting about him being a virgin and joe offering himself up to him. and then ming turning him back around to face the mirror. this way he looks so much like tong, he can pretend it's tong, and yet at the same time joe's face is right there, reflected back in the mirror, inescapable. i'm fucking eating this up, finally some good fucking food.

idk i'm probably not touching on everything i want to, it's been a long ass time since i've done one of these, but this is just what immediately comes to mind. now time to go make a gifset lmao.

(if you give me novel spoilers i WILL hunt you for sport)

[lunar-years]

🎵Can I ask you a question?🎵😉

Do you think that Jamie Tartt was actually angry at his father or that said anger was a motivation to him? I mean, he did say that he would say “fuck you” to his father, but it seems to me that Jamie’s tendency when he’s scared or feeling vulnerable is to cover it up with snappiness and apparent anger. (Maybe I’ve just read too much fic in which this is the case idk🤷🏻‍♀️😄.) Also, back in “Two Aces,” Jamie said that “[his mother] is the reason [he] works so hard”—not that he’s doing it because he hates his dad. And in the same episode in which he says he’d tell his dad “fuck you,” he says to Georgie that he doesn’t give a shit about James anymore. I just feel like Jamie is more scared of his dad than angry, but I would truly like to hear your opinion. Thank you!

hmmm...I guess I think it's complicated? Like yeah Jamie definitely has real anger towards his dad. When he says he'd want to say 'fuck you' to his dad I believe he was being 100% genuine. I wholeheartedly think Jamie would very much like to say 'fuck you' to that man. Yet if James Sr. suddenly appeared on the pitch at that moment, I'm not Jamie would have said it to him. Wanting to say it and being able to say it are two different things. In general, I read Jamie's anger as sort of an aftermath and response to his fear/vulnerability, if that makes sense? His tendency is to freeze/shrink in on himself/make himself small/not fight back when he's actually facing his father. And Jamie knows his father and knows the signs to look for to try and read his dad's moods, and he's gotten pretty damn good at assessing his dad as soon as he enters any room to determine whether he's walking into an interaction that's going to harm him. He watches for signs that his dad's already upset, whether he's at that particular state of drunkenness that most often seems to end in violence, whether the old man is out looking for a fight. Still, he's terrified at the same time he's looking that he's missing something, that he's going to miss one of those tip offs and be caught off guard and left vulnerable or hurt or humiliated (because his dad has historically been unpredictable). And his own knowledge of himself, that he isn't going to fight back, because he never has, sits with him too. As such, he's always got his guard up when he's around his dad and there's always an air of sort of anticipatory fear along with his annoyance/irritation/exhaustion/snappishness, etc.

And then in the after, when he's had time to sit with the fear he felt, and the small way his dad always always makes him feel, *that's* when I think he gets angry. In part it's anger and (temporary) hatred directed solely at his father, because he's let Jamie down again, and he's a complete arsehole ("my dad's a dick. not much you can do with that, is there?"), and Jamie knows he's not a good dad, but then slowly that anger, more times than not, warps around in his brain and eventually gets turned inwards towards himself. More than Jamie hates his dad, Jamie hates the way he himself acts around his dad. The way we see Jamie at Wembley is so antithetical to everything Jamie normally is. So I think Jamie's always fighting an internal battle between being pissed at his dad for hitting him and being pissed that he "let himself" get hit. He doesn't even *need* his dad, right? He's Jamie fucking Tartt! He was always going to be great long before he ever met that piece of shit, and he can be fucking great now without him. Right? He doesn't even care. In fact, he wants to tell his dad fuck you! So...then why can't he tell his dad fuck you? Whenever he goes to try, the words shrivel up and die, and he's back to being that same scared kid wanting his dad's approval. Jamie hates being that kid. He can't stop being that kid. That's what has him running off to a reality tv set. That's what has him running around Amsterdam trying to bury the past. He wants to outrun the person his dad makes him. He wants to outrun himself and he never can.

So I guess I say...all of the above? Jamie's motivation and drive and work ethic ultimately comes from who JAMIE is. Sure, he's a product of both his dad's violence and anger and his mum's love and care, but Jamie is very much his own person who is motivated to become a great footballer because he wants that for himself, not for anyone else. At the same time, yes he's angry at his dad, yes he's afraid of his dad, and yes, ultimately, he loves his dad and wants to be loved by him in return. All those emotions get mixed up in his head sometimes, and all of them are a part of who he is and all of them are valid emotions.

[goosewriting]

i can't believe my brain finally, finally let me have a cal kestis appearance in my dream last night and it was the saddest most heart-wrenching thing ever 😩 my dreams are crazy, detailed and elaborate so this will get long lol if you feel like reading, go ahead, it's real "reader falls into an alternate universe and needs to find their way back" fic material 😂

btw if any of you ever have dreams with your blorbos i'd love to read it so feel free to honk in my inbox c:

so it kinda went back and forth between two different dreams i'm pretty sure. one playing at the university library and the other playing somewhere else. in the library one i was at a table with some classmates, working on our assignments, but there were also some people i know from elsewhere and we started arguing over something. then there was this girl who had lost something and i tried to talk her through how to get to the lost & found, giving the wildest (and very wrong) directions.

the other dream started in the middle of a yellow field of tall grass, where train tracks ran through from one side of the horizon to the other, nothing else to see. when the train came, it was massive, and i was participating in a heist of sorts. we (still don't know who the other people were) were successful i think, because the train derailed and we looted it. I think there was some big boss mastermind somewhere who told us what to do and we were all scared of her lol

so i don't exactly remember what happened after the heist, but the thing is there were these jumps between the dreams where in one i was this badass agent of whatever and doing cool stuff, and in the other i was "real me" in this world doing mundane things. although at some point i'm pretty sure i suddenly was an estate agent trying to set everything up for a visit except that the house was made of cardboard, but that's beside the point 😂 the scenarios from the library timeline i'm pretty sure happened not only somewhere else but in a different time altogether.

at one point, the events of the heist dream kinda come to its peak, and i now find myself in a big room (in hindsight i think it was the archives on jedha from the survivor game?) and somewhere in the air there's a bucket-shaped thing that's swallowing everything around it in a whirlwind, essentially ripping apart time and space. and as it turns out, cal has been there the whole time, and we were actually fighting together and stuff. but now that the bucket is about to shred the fabric of reality, we have to do something. and for some reason the plan of action is that i have to travel to a different universe. we (cal, me, and some other people idk) were all standing at a holotable looking at a map displaying different planets and universes and stuff (again, in hindsight, very web of life and destiny like. i just mashed everything together here it seems xD). and the reasoning in my head went like this: the planet we find ourselves on at this moment is not necessarily star wars canon and is outside of the known parts of the galaxy. so even if i do find my way back to this universe (which i was sure i could do, somehow) i still have no means to contact cal and or even find the planet again. so the search would take quite a while.

and there isn't enough time for us to set up a meeting point and time or anything because of the imminent danger. someone is already dragging me back to the bucket to be sucked into next wednesday or whatever, but i go up to cal one last time and he gives me the strongest hug and omg i didn't wanna let go. at this point i 'm in tears and as someone once again pulls me away and drags me off, i call to him "i will find you" and then everything goes black.

it's so lame i know but i legit woke up with a hole in my heart ;-;

my conclusion is that after leaving that place, the time and space travel kinda wiped my mind so i started a new life (the one at the library and the cardboard house) and completely forgot about cal :'( eventually i'd get snippets of memories, which is why the dream kept jumping back and forth, but i probably just thought they were daydreams or whatever, not my own memories. now that's some meta angst man.

oh and also at some point there were gorillas that shapeshifted into smaller versions of themselves with wings to fly around, and everyone was absolutely okay with that except that they were aggressive so they didn't like them. how that ties into any part of the dream i couldn't tell you but it was just a striking image to see these giant apes suddenly become small and flutter around shdjddkd

[antifathomable-shapeshifter]

sometimes i wonder if im just autistic or if i also straight up have a personality disorder.

who knows. i'm not asking a professional.

besides, the whole system of diagnosing personality disorder is fucked top to bottom.

people who are diagnosed and/or people who find explanations in the diagnostic criteria will say things like "Don't use personality disorders as short hand for Evil Abuser Diseases" (and they're right) but also like. the guys who coined them coined them as Evil Abuser Diseases, no? They saw mentally ill people and said "Y'all are monstrous freaks, here's a label so we can control and abuse you."

correct me if im wrong, i have not done reasearch on this specificly, but like. im anti-psych. psychiatry has a super fucked past (and present). so i feel like its not a bad assumption that the diagnosis everyone thinks are for Evil People were made to be slapped on People Who Are Totally Evil Trust Me We Need To Protect Society From These Mentally Ill Freaks At Any Cost (to the patients).

im definitely not normal. i do not see people as equals, innately. that's earned to my brain. i treat people as equals, because if i don't, that gives others the justification to hurt me. i am selfish. i am kind because i am selfish. nothing i do isn't for my own self-satisfaction for one reason or another. and i cannot allow others the power to hurt me, and so i cannot allow them the power to hurt anyone.

i have a favorite person. i am partially disconnected from my emotions (likely autism). i crave attention and approval (adhd or pd? see my issue.) i hate the confusion surrounding the term empathy. "feeling others feelings". you can mirror their feelings, but it will always be your brain's interpretation of their feelings. im not saying your brain is always wrong! we're social creatures, most of us are pretty good at reading other people's emotions. but you aren't literally feeling their feelings. idk, maybe im just no-empathy. i feel similarly about romance, as an aromatic, so yeah.

all my feelings are my own. all my thoughts are my own. at the end of the day, im the only one who has my back, and i still fuck myself over frequently.

i strongly believe that there is no thing as true free will. i do believe we must act under the assumption we have it, but i don't think its real. its just that the amount of variables you'd need to keep fully understand is so insanely, impossibly large that no one can actually predict the future, or even the next action of a given person.

but a god could. a being of infinite knowledge and comprehension could absolute predict the future. all of it, forever.

life is about cause and effect. something caused this to happen, so it happened. it could have been you, it could have been your government, it could have been the weather.

its all dominoes. my brain is dominoes. im only in control in so much as i do what i wanted myself to do. i feel in control when my brain and body follow my directives and i don't when they don't. its arbitrary. i will never being able to force myself to do something when my body and brain refuse to do it. im not at the wheel. im a puppet monarch.

[cult-of-lilith]

hi mommy, i know i'm a day late on your object insertion stuff (impromptu dnd session zero just as i was getting ready to start stuffing myself for you) so while i plan to do some fun after work or on my lunch break here's what i'm thinking about.

i'm thinking a couple things. to start, on my shelf next to my bed is a cheesy megaphone. i cheered in high school and it's leftover from that. no handles and not all that large. but it widens so rapidly, i'll definitely be washing that and trying to see how much i can fit in my cunt today. thinking about you. would you tease me for being so slutty? so spread wide and the direct line of sight to my cervix? would praise me for giving in to my desperation? for letting your see just how low i can get trying to get your attention? i think it could be kind of fun to treat it like a funnel, but i'm not sure what would safe to play with, maybe something liquid like cum and cum lube? i don't have any on hand. my fantasy brain is screaming that marbles would be so fun, or dnd dice? god, idk if you like ttrpg, but i could be your dice bag, mommy!! promise to sit pretty (all fours with my elbows/shoulders on the ground for easy access) and imbue them with me juices for luck, could clean them off with my mouth so you can use them, if they roll bad it's obviously my fault so you could slap or spank me to your preference. depositing the dice back inside, pushing it deeper to try and get more luck on it.

ok i got sidetracked by that. was going to start thinking about my asshole. maybe you tell me the only way i'm allowed to use real toys is if they're in my asshole and my cunt is spread first. not even vibrators are allowed, not on my clit or inside, unless my asshole is stuffed with a toy (you increase and decrease the size based on a whim, sometimes the toy i'm allowed changes multiple times a week, sometimes it's the same toy for a month). eventually, you take those toys from me too. but i'm still not allowed to use my clit unless at least my asshole is stuffed. and so i have to get creative. maybe i put up a resistance. maybe i whine and just use my hand to rub. maybe that lasts for a couple days or a week. until you remind me that IM just a toy, did i forget? i'm your toy, so why would i think i could get away with playing with myself if my ass isn't stuffed? it's ok though since toys don't have the best track records with remembering, but mommy knows best. she'll help me remember. and you grace me with your cock in my ass, saying "see? mommy's cock fits perfectly in her toy, now you'll never forget"

Fuck holy shit wow yeah this is, wow! I definitely need to see that 😳🥵 and I do like ttrpgs you would make a wonderful dice bag. I'm just too blown away with this ask to give a detailed reply

[novemberdevils]

Okay

(So life is hell and I’m just going to yap at you)

-legit so over the moon you have Tkachuk fighting Grosjean.

So- are both Tkachuks in Indy? Is Matthew any good?

What DOES Quinn do these days? I don’t know anything about NASCAR contracts did he make enough to just… chill?

Once again, thank you so so so so much for writing this fic/cursing me to be interested in F1 (what LV GP drama for Ferrari)

please yap at me all of the time i love to yap. as can be inferred from my current state of. yapping

in my head atm matthew is the only tkachuk in indy. i haven't totally filled the indy grid out in my head yet, but it is the same idea as the f1 one where it's like half actual indycar drivers and half nhl players shoved into cars (the f2 grid with luke is also the same). i will give some Indy Context bc the whole indy thing is mostly a massive sideplot (and self indulgence) so to me it doesn't feel like a particularly destructive spoiler

it's implied in some twitter usernames/display names that matthew drives for andretti in indycar, which is a good team -- and i do headcanon him (though ig it is just canon bc it's my fic) as being pretty good. not like alex palou good lmao, but he wins races. he does suffer from Aggressive Driver Disease which means a lot of people (+ the media) do not like him very much, but yknow. it is a bit more acceptable imo to be aggressive in indy as opposed to f1, same kind of with nascar, which is why i keep making vague references whenever jack gets particularly mouthy and quinn or someone makes some comment about how nascar or indy it is of him. like they do a lot more actual physical pushing of each other in indy, or getting in front of the cameras and saying they want to punch the guy who hit their car lmao. which is not so much of a thing in f1

but even by indy standards i see tkachuk as being kind of aggressive. hence him hitting grosjean. but there isn't really a "driver misconduct" penalty especially since that type of stuff usually happens if/after drivers end up being knocked out of the race. but! my personal canon/headcanon for mr indycar matthew tkachuk is that he ends up in a lot of incidents, can usually come back from them, and it is pretty damn good when he races clean. if you have ever watched an indy race you know those cars are like borderline indestructible compared to f1 cars. if the f1 car brushes the wall it Might be over but i have watched indycars get actually run over then still finish the race. like dude there was a tire on your head 25 laps ago and now you're crossing the finish line. are you okay

sorry. this is so rambly. the inertia universe andretti lineup in my brain is herta-kirkwood-tkachuk so do with that what you will. it is 2/3 real indycar drivers lmao. the only other Solid spots i have filled are grosjean in a juncos (which is real, also juncos sucks) and zegras in an arrow mclaren -- pato is definitely one of his teammates bc i just like him but do not ask me about the third arrow mclaren rn i have no idea. decision not yet made. and will smith (of the san jose sharks) is kicking around somewhere i just haven't totally decided where. maybe dale coyne or RLL idk all i know is He Is There. rookie seasoning it up

that was the world's most unnecessary indycar ramble i apologize. i could keep going but idk if anybody wants that. i have like half the mind to write an indy spinoff fic or something but i don't have a real plot for it lmao but i love indy so bad!!

QUINN. that's a great question tbh. i have not logicked that one out. as previously mentioned him being a retired nascar guy is a direct reference to nobody's favorite craftsman trucks driver dalton sargeant, however quinn did make it to cup series and didn't die in the feeder of all feeders, he was just kind of bad at being in cup series. and then. his retirement is really complicated. i keep making it more complicated. he cannot have shit in this universe

oh anyways. dalton sargeant is like. a professional?? fisherman?? i don't know. point is i have no real idea what he's up to. whatever it is he's doing he has a lot of spare time to hang around race tracks when he can (he goes to all the US f1 races and maybe canada i am yet to decide and he pops up around indy sometimes by proxy of being friendly with some of the guys over there) but he probably does. Something. the money from being a NASCAR driver does help but that cannot last forever. maybe i need to work that out

anyways. i am as always very glad you like the fic 💕 spreading the f1 plague to the unsuspecting hockey rpfers, one 20k word chapter at a time

[godraet]

غُدْرَت

ɢod̪ˈɾæt̪ʰ — ( n. ) power.

padishah ganondorf dragmire of the legend of zelda franchise.

a study of [ . . . ] divinity and kingship in its purest form, endless lifetimes, forging your own soul, breaking the cycle.

by percival (30+, he/him). mutuals only!

affiliated with [ . . . ] @salesduo ╱ @perditos ╱ tba

⎛ ₁ legend. ₂ verses. ₃ dynamics. ⎠

rules under readmore!

𝐨𝐧𝐞. #GODRAET is an independent, private, highly selective and mutuals exclusive writing blog for ganondorf dragmire of the legend of zelda franchise. its my sacred duty now to rewrite TotK and also cherrypick from every other iteration so i am doing just that!

this blog is 18+. please do not follow me if you are under 18!

on this note, this blog will feature dark and triggering themes. gan's entire story is a whole mess and he chooses violence very often! i will make sure to tag these things with the format of #trigger so that they can be filtered out!

𝐭𝐰𝐨. shipping is not the priority here- but for reference, gan likes women or fem-leaning individuals; in general what he likes is femme because he associates femme with familiarity and also strength, for real what else would anyone expect.

if shipping happens, it will require a LOT of plotting and will not be with any mun or muse under the age of 21.

i am very open to other sorts of bonds, though! because it isn't just romance when people talk about ships- i am open to seeing how things go nonetheless!

i should also note that i will accept mains and exclusives!

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞. please DO tag #trypophobia for me, it makes my brain do big bad.

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫. i am known for writing metas across the blogs i have. in the wise words of a friend:

with this in mind, the metas i write are portrayal specific to this blog, so please give them a read! i know i can be rather wordy- anyone who has followed me elsewhere may know this, but for my first time followers, worldbuilding is one of my favorite things to do. i am particularly fond of analysis of character psychology.

𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞. to the point above, i do have other blogs! and i have no organizational skill so im all over the place ... and i have a job that steals my energy

and by this, i mean i work 32-40 hours as a registered nurse in an inpatient psychiatric unit. i am busy, i am tired, and i can't keep letting my focus go all over the place. inevitably, it still may do that because i have a tendency to be scattered, so if i don't get to something immediately, it isn't you, it's me!

also related to that, i do love communication! i struggle with reading the room (it's the Autism tm) and so if something's up or if you're bothered, please be direct with me! i will not take offense, i quite appreciate feedback so that i can be better as a person! in return, i will communicate back! i am learning to curate my space (after 10+ years of being on tumblr).

𝐬𝐢𝐱. there are people i won't interact with due to various reasons- my dni list is on the carrd of my other blogs. i won't interact with genderbent versions of characters, people who are Real Life Individuals (not counting fictional depictions like in the typemoon franchise or whatnot because those really have nothing to do with the actual individual they're supposedly based on?).

please stay far away from me if you fall under the following categories (i'm censoring things because god knows tumblr just picks shit up idk): proshipping, writing inc*st, p*dophilia, r*pe/n*ncon, are transphobic/homophobic- the usual gross behavior! use your moral compass!

on top of that, i am a firm believer that we learn from the media around us. full censorship is just as dangerous as the aforementioned things- the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows! please refer to this post which essentially summarizes the gist of what i'm trying to explain.

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧. anyway, hello, i'm percival. i am 30+ and use he/him pronouns exclusively! i am a hobby artist (it's my side-gig from nursing) and sometimes i post my art, tagged #whats my art tag considering i constantly forget my art tag if it's fancy. please do not repost my art without my permission.

mutuals, feel free to ask me for my discord, since i am much easier to reach there!

i look forward to writing with you!

[thediariesofanobody]

Well, I haven't written on here in a while. But since I can't sleep here goes. My mind is full. I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions. Sometimes giving up just seems like a good idea. Others finding a release is. Sometimes nothing works. And so far talking isn't gonna make it any better. Somehow a year later and I still feel like even though so much has changed I could just float away and it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter if I just faded from existence. Yeah, that feels pretty accurate right now. Earlier someone I would've considered a friend went after someone I consider family. Saying that I'm too much of a baby and I'm brain washed and that I'm being used for money. Keep in mind yes this person and I have had our issues but I've known them for 14+ years and I would burn the world down to protect them. In a heartbeat, I would do anything I could to help this person. Because I love them and consider them family. I am not brainwashed or being used I'm just loyal and I know where my allegiance lies. I know who my real friends are and even if we fight and argue or we disagree. We get over it because we're family. Have been and always will be. People have been trying to separate us for years and every time they fail. They fail because this person knows that with out fail I will always back them up. They know I have their backs no matter what happens. But it just had me in my head so much that people may be thinking that about me. Idk I'm a mess. All I know is I'm loyal and when it comes to my family or rather my chosen family I will back them up one hundred and ten percent. Ride or die that’s it. I’m just done with everyone’s b*llshit. Like if you wanna come after me for calling you out on socials then you try and do the same when everyone already knows because I called your b*llsh*t. That just makes you a loser and a hypocrite. I just don’t understand some people in the slightest. F*ck all they do is act like children and don’t take accountability. If you wanna preach that you’re an adult then act like one ya f*cking too faced b*tch.

[bleachbleachbleach]

I started typing this in the tags and then I was like, well, that's probably a mistake, so I'm aborting mission and just starting up here. XDD The whole land question in Soul Society has always been interesting to me, because if the souls of Rukongai do not need to eat, I feel like that removes one of the biggest motivators for ag and commerce that supports people eating, and why having a shitload of land would be valuable in any real way, since the eating population of the Seireitei isn't really that big, either, even if that means there's some element of Rukongai peasants farming on behalf of the Seireitei's food supply. But I guess that's also assuming that their value system would equate land only with value through arability, and if everything is reishi maybe they're better at valuing land as land than a lot of the LIving World tends to be. Land is land, tracts of land act as wells of reishi, and idk, this inspires status-play where owning a lot of land implies that your line will have greater reiryoku. Not through any direct biological mechanism, but through the general feeling that it's a way of maintaining your connection to the sacred/to the mystery that is the Soul King, or something like that.

(I don't actually *know* anything useful about this, except that the European divine right of kinds functions slightly differently than the conception of divinity re: the Japanese emperor. I feel like that might be generative for discussions about the Soul King business, except 1) I don't know enough political history or religious studies to have understood the one article I skimmed one time, except that a lot of the time it seemed like being a conduit for the divine in the Japanese sense was a much suckier deal than being a God-appointed King of France or whatever, and 2) I am a professional at retaining absolutely zero knowledge of anything even remotely related to the Soul King, LOL. SOUL KING WHOMST. Yhwach talks and my brain stops processing language, oh no.)

And maybe back in the way your power as a noble family could be demonstrated by the amount of land you could steward/keep clean of Hollows, up until this part gets less fun to them and becomes the purview of the Gotei. And now instead of that, we largely just have the districts as defined by the Gotei and maybe scattered in there some random nobles with connections to this or that area, like the Shiba. To say nothing of the districts that might be 'districted' nominally, but like, no one ever goes there or really knows what that is, like you mentioned!

And then the Seireitei is its own issue because even though it's a contained urban space with limited growth potential because it's got these giant walls constraining its edges, it's certainly not... hurting for space? Like, sure, we can be boring and say that no one's ever in the streets because it's a pain to draw/animate but I rather feel like the empty-streets quality is a huge part of the Seireitei's characterization, with a bunch of random empty buildings that nobody actual uses, and all the rooms are built just a little too big and the furniture never looks right in the space and it's all just a bit Weird. Which is a quality of the Seireitei's that I am very fond of!

I'm kind of into the idea that at some past point the population of the Seireitei used to be a lot larger, and it's been constricting for some time now. Well, I mean, post-TYBW it's even smaller. But pre-TYBW! So the Seireitei used to be right-sized at some point, maybe even a little too small and in need of expansion, and now that's not the case, and quite the opposite. I guess what I'm saying is that some element of the Seireitei gives me Detroit vibes. OR it was built in anticipation of a population boom that never actually happened.

(Even if the stated reason for "needing" to commit genocide against the Quincy was an issue of soul stoichiometry, I feel like simultaneous long-term anxieties about Seireitei and/or shinigami proliferation (let's say high spiritual energy souls, regardless of their enlistment/employment) would probably create a socio-political climate that would sway Seireitei denizens into thinking some type of way about Quincy and soul stoichiometry...)

Though now I've ended up in a place that has nothing to do with the original post and not a lot to do even with your post I am trying to reply to, which is what I was trying to avoid doing in the original post LOL because what a mess this reply is!!! But I've enjoyed all the directions these replies have gone anyway! I guess the full-circle here is that despite the fact that supply-and-demand would suggest obtaining land/property in the Seireitei would be achievable, the nobles were just like "fuck your supply-and-demand curve, land costs 999999999999999 eleventy kan. Begone, peasants. To the superfund pit with you!"

This probably requires a much longer, sprawling post (the number of tentacles increased exponentially every 2 seconds as I was thinking about this) but despite Gotei captains making good money and having fairly high social standing, I feel like land prices must be set artificially, astronomically high so that no one but the already-landed nobility [or a governmental entity, lie the Gotei] could possibly ever own anything. That 'officer's neighborhood' or whatever it is is cushy, but it's also technically just a reserve the nobility has consented to so that there's no reason for these people to live anywhere else (unless they already have property by virtue of being noble). Not sure how this works for commercial leases--are they subsidized by the 46? or does running a business require you to have some kind of arrangement with a noble family. DOES SILVER DRAGONFLY LEASE FROM THE KUCHIKI.

I'm not sure how this would work for Rukongai (except that surely it's very controversial to be buying/selling parcels in Rukongai to begin with, many considering it a foolish audacity to assume such a place can be owned) but I imagine that at the very least the property taxes (or whatever payments/responsibilities inhere in "ownership" in Rukongai, re: assuming responsibility for whatever shit happens out there/keeping it Hollow-controlled, etc.) present a functional barrier to ownership for most individuals.

The generational wealth gap (mostly in terms of having family vs. having no family, but also I guess in terms of shinigami who are really old vs. those who are not) must be bananas, too. But NO, NO, STOPPING, this post was supposed to be 2 sentences about Seireitei land prices and it's already about seventy other things. It's 9AM stopping STOPPING

[mrpenguinpants]

Okay so after pulling Childe (and getting him to almost lvl 90 the same day lmao but I ran out of exp books) I started thinking about Chaeya x reader and I have to share my brainrot with someone so here you go:

Childe suddenly shows up to Mondstadt one day, supposedly to check out the Windblume Festival, but it had already been over for a few days before he arrived

You walk in on him and Kaeya glaring daggers at each other in the middle of the street, Kaeya sending terse smiles and veiled threats while Childe is nearly vibrating with the effort to keep himself from stabbing Kaeya in broad daylight. Who cares if he's a captain of the Knights? This guy's pissing him off

When you make your presence known it's like a switch flipped inside the two of them and they both turn to you like "ah yes here is the love of my life :)"

"Childe? What are you doing here?"

"Aw, can't I come say hi to a friend?" He replies, flashing you a grin.

"In that case, you've said your hellos," Kaeya interjects. He drapes an arm across your shoulders and pulls you closer to him. "They'll be coming with me now."

"I'm not just here to say hello." Childe steps toward you, sending a cold smile in Kaeya's direction. "I'm here to spend the day with them. Now, if you'll excuse us…"

You sigh as you realize that you have to be the peacekeeper here otherwise who knows what these two will do to each other?

To stop them from fighting and to lighten the tension in the air, you jokingly say, "Alright you two, settle down. I have two hands."

Even though you clearly meant it as a joke the boys each immediately grab one of your hands and you end up sandwiched between them for the rest of the day while they engage in Friendly Banter™ but don't you worry it's totally lighthearted and doesn't really mean anything (:

You are exhausted from babysitting these two grown ass men at the end of the day

Fast forward a few weeks and Kaeya invites Childe to have a Civil Discussion about their mutual feelings towards you

Bc while Kaeya would be perfectly content (he tells himself) with burying his feelings and letting someone else sweep you off your feet if it means you get to be happy and safe

He absolutely cannot let you fall into the hands of the Fatui, especially not a Harbinger

He's already lost his family because of the Fatui, he's not going to lose you too

These two somehow manage to make it through their chat without stabbing each other, which is a miracle

They decide to confess to you together and let you decide who to keep

The day comes when they both planned to confess to you. They somehow both kept their promise of not confessing before the other person which is also quite the miracle (maybe they signed a contract with Zhongli as the mediator lmao)

Anyway, they take you out to the cliff next to Stone Gate bc no one ever goes up there lmao so they won't be interrupted

(Kaeya lets Childe go first bc he thinks he would be able to deliver a more romantic confession than this two brain cell Fatui Harbinger)

Idk how to break it to you Kaeya but your poetry sucks (jk jk pls still come home I need your constellations 🥺)

After hearing two heartfelt confessions from your two favorite people, you had to take a moment to process what just happened

They both like you??? Wtf???? And here you were losing sleep over how you'd handle your crush on both the Cavalry Captain and the Harbinger

So if course you suggest a poly relationship. After all, you had two hands ;)

The boys didn't quite know how to handle your response, but after explaining it to them they both agree to give it a shot

So that's how you managed to capture the heart of these two idiots

And with your help they eventually realized that, huh, maybe the other person isn't so bad. They're actually kinda hot, ngl 👀

From then on, all the evil in Teyvat knew to not mess with you if they valued their existence. Your boyfriends aren't known to show mercy against those who hurt their loved ones

Ahaha this was long but I hope you enjoyed it!! If I have more brainrot to share I shall return with a part 2

Being completely honest. I really like Childe + Kaeya. Zhongli + Childe is really nice and wholesome but no one really writes smug Zhongli (THE. LOST. FUCKING. POTENTIAL???) but I care about fake smug Childe being paired with actually smug bastard Kaeya. But then you throw a reader in and holy shit, have I mentioned how much I love poly relationships?? I'm so honoured you came to me of all people to brainrot;; I also love the idea of reader acting as a wingman for two separate characters.

Dude, I can literally astral project and see this in my mind. I fully commit to the idea that Childe is an overgrown child and Kaeya acts like one when he gets pissed lol. Yo, if they signed a contract with Zhongli I can feel evil dad Zhongli hovering behind them anytime they try to make a move. But I was also not a fan of Kaeya's poetry. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I hate big acts of affection. Or just any act of affection that oversteps above platonic cause I would not be writing poetry for my friends unless it was a joke. It makes my spine turn to liquid. I'm gonna be real, even tho I just said that, I'm super down to hold anyone's hand or link arms. I'm gonna use "I have two hands" one day.

I can totally see their relationship starting with I love this person and I want to fuck this other person. There is no in-between. Then it slowly develops and what are these feelings I'm having??

[luna-rainbow]

I have such conflicting feelings about the code words for the WS because on one hand I like anything that helps to support the argument that Bucky isn't to blame for anything that he did as the WS, but on the other I felt like they were very plot device-y, weren't used to their full potential, and, honestly, shouldn't even be necessary. The codewords were literally just used by the writers to justify having a "WS rampage" moment in CACW and to give a reason why Bucky would have given Zemo the information about the Siberia base and why he needed to be frozen at the end of the movie, once they fulfilled that use, they instantly removed them from the picture, not even showing us the how of how the code words were removed, was it a brain surgery, was it psychotherapies?

In a better world where people were less ableist, the codewords wouldn't have been needed for people to understand that Bucky was a victim without any control over his actions. I think back to when I first watched CAWS, before we knew that the codewords were a thing, and I thought it was pretty clear just from the bank scene that Bucky was a victim, but maybe that's just me?

I also feel like there's some ableism baked into the whole codewords thing towards dissociative disorders (maybe this is bc I've read a lot of Bucky fics that discuss dissociation as a part of the WS that are really good). Idk sorry if this doesn't make much sense, I just wish that this--like most parts of his storyline--were better written.

Thanks for the ask!

Make no mistake, the code words - like many parts of CACW - were definitely a plot device, and not there to help people understand Bucky had no control. It was the easiest "switch" for Zemo to gain control of Bucky and direct him to do his bidding. Bucky's rampage was necessary to set off the airport fight, because - this line seems to get overlooked a bit - Tony insinuates that he killed people in that rampage, which was why the Avengers were called upon to bring him in.

I...really cannot think of a real life equivalent for the code words, and the amount of reading required to confirm this is too much because reliable evidence on hypnotherapy is so scarce D= The whole activation sequence and Bucky's "consciousness" disappearing comes across like a hypnosis to me.

But my other thought is that the Winter Soldier seems fairly capable of making quick (straightforward/concrete) decisions about fighting, and combined with what Seb says about Bucky "being in a trance-like state", I wonder if it's almost like a sleepwalking/parasomnia situation. Interestingly, one of the theories about parasomnias is the inappropriate disinhibition of the basal ganglia during (non-REM) sleep.

I can't recall the exact line Melina says about the Winter Soldier program, but it was definitely the basal ganglia that she experimented on to get the pigs to obey her commands. TBH I don't think the scriptwriter was aiming for this - basal ganglia does a lot of stuff with motor control that's unrelated to sleep.

Can you induce a parasomnia state? Yes, zopiclone was notorious for doing this when it first came out, and some other toxins can do it too. I have not heard of hypnosis doing it, but...hey, this is Hydra.

I know this is getting long already, but I thought it's useful to talk over the components of consent:

- You have to have available all the relevant information about the risks/benefits, potential outcomes, and any other major concerns that might influence your choice - You have to have understood the information - You have to be able to synthesise the information and form a judgement that takes into account the possible outcomes - Finally there's a component about communicating the decision which doesn't apply here.

In Bucky's case - he definitely does not get given the full picture when he goes on missions, especially when you consider that they wipe his memory to take away his knowledge of the situation. It's also doubtful whether he would be able to understand complex contextual and abstract information, or form a judgement based on that (I tend to lean no).

So regardless of whether Bucky is in a dissociative, hypnotic or parasomniac state, he still did not consent to participate in killing his targets, and he should not be held responsible.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

J Watches Arcane: Ep. 6, Random Thoughts/Play-By-Play

Aight, back into the fray we go. I'm under the impression that this episode either includes the Vi/Jinx reunion, or at least has the scene where Jinx lights the flare, so I might not be able to appreciate the animation through all of my tears.

Per usual, a quick disclaimer: These are just things I think about/notice while I watch (including "asdfhjkl I'm gay" and dumb jokes), and aren't intended to be taken as full on commentary. Taking notes like this helps me process parts of the show, and also makes it easier for me to deal with the sad parts by spreading it out (without requiring me to take a full-on break).

Anyway, under read-more for length

(0:00) I am not ready for this. Why did I think watching this without being sleep deprived was a good idea?... Oh, right, because I want to read my friends' fanfics without worrying about spoilers

(0:22) that water is not kid friendly. or life friendly. might not even be water friendly, if we're being honest

(0:52. "Sky?") WAIT. THAT'S BABY SKY?... I didn't realize that Sky and Viktor met when they were kids. also just saying I did get spoiled on what happens to her and I am SO mad, especially because I managed to go MONTHS without any Arcane spoilers, only to get hit with several MAJOR ones right when I got back around to watching the show.

(1:34) bby me would have loved being friends with any of the Arcane cast (well. almost any of them). I woulda loved watching Viktor or Powder or Ekko tinker with things, even though I wouldn't really understand any of it. I loved to take things apart, too, to see how they worked inside. I can imagine taking scrap apart, then eagerly giving the pieces to the other munchkins, to see what they could end up doing with them, you know?...

(2:03) The subtitles here say "monster grumbles", and I would just like to say that Squishy here (the temporary name I have given them) is not a monster. They're a good squishy baby

(3:00~, "she's dying") SQUISHY NOOOOOOOO. okay, I mean, I am under the impression that Singed (do we know what his real name is?) does manage to keep Rio alive, though I guess I technically don't know how long that lasts. BUT SQUISHY NOOOOOOOO. Also, Viktor is such a good lad and I am preemptively crying about the future angst

(6:01) Ah, nice! I had heard a few mentions of Mel doing art, but not enough to know whether it was canon or just a popular HC (considering my time in the RE8 fandom, I know how easily the lines can be blurred). Also. Just. Thinking. 'bout how Mel herself is a work of art and asdfghjkkll;;; you get it

(6:17, "duty calls") there is going to be a major ouch incoming in 3, 2, 1... or at least I assume that Jayce will mention Viktor's health. But I kind of wonder how Mel could possibly be out of the loop? Unless Jayce left her room before he found out about Viktor. I had kind of assumed that someone came in to tell them, but I suppose that wouldn't really make sense, given that we see the moment Mel wakes up alone. Maybe someone knocked on the door, and Jayce woke up but Mel didn't, and he didn't wake her up before leaving? Idk

(8:54) giving people heart attacks really is Jinx's favorite pastime, isn't it? poor thieram Chuck

(9:53) Did they not have time to even do a basic wrap for Vi's wound? My poor blorbos :( I am not ready for this episode, and I am using ever chance to procrastinate

(10:25) hey Vi? hey babe? sweety-darling? what the fuck?

(10:54) like father, like daughter, dramatic chair spins for everybody

(11:06) THE FUCKING WAVE OH MY GOD. This is why Jinx is the best. Also everything else about her. Well. Almost everything. Let's be real, tho, I clearly have zero standards and a thing for women with no morals, stemming from the unfortunate idea that's ingrained in my brain, that my mistakes have made me inherently unlovable. But hey, this ain't therapy time! It's procrastination time!

(11:54) first off. girls with knives are pretty, so jot that down. second of all... knowing the vague direction that Jinx + Vi's relationship goes (as in the basics of what kinda destroys their already-crushed fragments of family), I have to wonder... would things have turned out differently if Sevika didn't say this? If Sevika didn't plant that first seed of "Vi replaced you with Caitlyn"? Somebody with trauma like Jinx's, with her sensitivity, is probably pretty susceptible to this kind of manipulation. I'm not saying that she wouldn't have reached the same conclusion eventually, but I just wonder if this single moment is what tips the scales in that direction

Paragraph break for tumblr formatting reasons!

(12:00~) hey sevika. bby I love you, but, like, hey fuck you. fuck you. not in a sexy way. fuck you for that one. I mean, okay, is it incredibly impressive that you're willing to say that sort of shit to someone with a knife... while you are tied up... and also you have literally just reminded yourself that she blows things up... like... okay, I get it, ya got ovaries of titanium and all that shite, but maybe tone it the fuck down, yeah?

(13:00) "this is the nightmare scenario, magnus Silco" so, apparently Jinx gets that whole "loves to give people heart attacks" from her dad, yeah? anyway, does Arcane just have, like, a shit ton of characters with R names? here's lil Ren, I think I heard one of Silco's goons is Ran, I've seen posts mention a Renata, and obviously it doesn't count but then there's my oc, who I suddenly wonder if I should have given a different name, lmao

(13:27, "she was about your age") that is factually incorrect, sir. is your eyesight that bad, sir? are you aware that your coat makes you look 10x cooler, sir?

(14:25) gay. gay gay gay, gay. what's that? gay. gaaaayyyy. also, isn't this Ran? I feel like this is the one that I've seen referred to as Ran. where do y'all get these names from? what context am I missing??? I know I've seen people mention storyboard stuff, but I've literally never seen any of the storyboards. Where did y'all get them?

(14:38) for a split second I thought Silco was just going to, ya know, fucking knock over the house of cards just to be a dick. it would have been so funny oh my god. like obviously he still makes it fall down, but I thought he was just going to literally push it over, or maybe even kick it. anyway he's a dick. I feel so bad for ren right now. and also all the time because her dad is marcus

(15:26) let me just jot this scene down as things to consider when I eventually make a post detailing my very bad, very fake, absolute crack theory that I will not define here.

(17:40, "I suppose topside is to blame for all your misfortunes") that's it! that's the whole show! Piltover is fucked! The very foundation is infected, and it corrupts everything it touches! Even the topsiders who want to do good, who want to make the right choices (like Jayce, like Caitlyn) are limited by the very city they are trying to help! People cannot make the right choice if the right choice was never an option to begin with!!!

(18:25) Real quick props to the animation team. Every scene progresses Viktor's illness, and it is heartbreaking. But it really shows the pressure he's under, really enforces the fact that he's working against the clock. Anyway, time for me to cry

(20:10, "I'm a friend") OH MY GOD. I KNEW I RECOGNIZED THAT VOICE. time to cry

(21:41) First off, how the fuck you wearing heels? Second of all, gay. Love you, you're gay for Vi, have a nice day, I am having feelings and am trying to ignore them

(25:27) We're just having a fucking blast making me feel things, aren't we? Huh? HUH? WE'RE JUST GONNA MAKE J FEEL THINGS TODAY, IS THAT RIGHT???

(25:30) you know that Mel has played everyone on this council. you know that she has manipulated them, expertly, time and time again. and you have to wonder... if she hadn't been the first to raise her hand, would the others ever make that move? or are they the reverb to her performance?

(29:06) Sometimes you have to kill your past to save your future, yeah? Jinx drowned Powder to try and wipe that slate clean. Vi sends her old home tumbling to the ground to stop Silco, to survive another moment. But is it enough?

Another paragraph break for formatting

(29:39) SOBBING CRYING SCREAMING DYING. THERE IS NOTHING BEYOND THE ACHE I FEEL RIGHT NOW- IT IS AS IF I WAS BORN IN THIS MOMENT, MADE TO EXIST ONLY TO WEEP WHEN THESE WALLS COME TUMBLING DOWN, WATCHING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER SEEN, FILLED WITH THE INATE KNOWLEDGE THAT IT CANNOT LAST

(33:45) hold up. hold up. wait a second. jinx's nails are blue and pink. blue and pink, pink and blue. is this. this is intentional, isn't it?... I know they've been those colors since the start of act 2. I just. I just finally got it. crying a little. maybe a lot. I wish this could have a happy ending. I wish that I could help. sometimes you see somebody hurt, and the worst part is knowing that there's nothing you can do. and maybe you're judging me, now, for saying that and crying while watching a tv show.

but maybe this ache is a little too familiar for comfort.

(34:45) don't do this to me. please. let me have this moment, for as long as it can last. please.

(35:58) ekko can you please not fuck this up. I know it was already fucked. I know that this wasn't going to end any other way. but I want to pretend for a little while longer, okay?

this is the first time Vi has ever seen Jinx fight. she's seen her use the toy gun at the arcade, seen her tinker and use traps, but this? this is everything she never wanted Jinx to be

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

[calpalsworld]

Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot 

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

[nightcoremoon]

I like horror.

(this post has screenshots of horror media)

I don't like 3edge5u gore porn that ~looks so realistic because tom savini used a real pig~, paints the walls with blood, and makes you find entertainment in watching characters you care about die.

I hate friday the 13th

I hate nightmare on elm street

I hate dawn of the dead

I hate hellraiser

I hate halloween

I hate final destination

I hate the hills have eyes

I hate texas chainsaw massacre

I hate hereditary

I hate escape room

I hate unfriended

I HATE anderson's resident evils past the first

I hate the conjuring LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE CONJURING

I hate fucking birdbox

I hate most stephen king adaptations (except for reiner's misery)

I hate most american remakes of japanese films (except for verbinski's ring)

I hate everything by blumhouse productions (every single goddamn horror movie they made is a billion dollar steaming pile of shit and only their horror comedies are worth anything)

(saw is a guilty pleasure of mine because it's just so off the walls insane and cartoony if you go by "everyone dies except cary elwes and matthew passmore" because they're the only famous people in the series except for tobin- because well he IS saw- and chester b because he's famous for other reasons)

I hate gory jumpscarey horror. it's shit.

but with that being said:

I fucking love dead space.

It is literally my favorite FRANCHISE.

Not just video game: favorite fucking franchise.

My first tattoo is gonna be the marker (and my second will be rainbow dash's cutie mark right next to it and my third will be a tramp stamp that just says "this machine kills fascists" in block letters), the first games I cracked into when I first got an xbox 360 were dead space (up against bioshock, the orange box, fallout 3, elder scrolls: oblivion, and gta iv) because it was the coolest horror concept I'd ever seen. "shoot off the limbs and not the heads? THATS AWESOME!". I even loved dead space 3 even though it sucked and killed the series. I read the comics, watched the movies, played the multiplayer, love every game in the series yes even the puzzle game and the rail shooter (the iPhone game is legit amazing). only part I don't like is the awakened dlc because that's dumb. But dead space 1&2 are in my top 10 faves, 2 in the top 3 (behind resident evil 4 and tales of symphonia, of course).

But sheena, I hear you say,

I thought you hated gory jumpscarey horror, and that's exactly what dead space is! It's 3edge5u and has incredible graphics even for 2008 (!) and literally paints the walls with blood and guts, and you watch at least four beloved character deaths over the course of the series!

and you're right

clearly I don't mind gore in horror since there's gore in dead space, resident evil, silent hill, the evil within, cry of fear, and doom 3.

clearly I don't mind jumpscares since there's jumpscares in dead space, cry of fear, five nights at freddy's, and spooky's house of jumpscares (fuck you that's what I call it).

clearly I don't mind edginess, realistic effects, overuse of blood, and character death either.

so what gives?

and I gotta say

idk

I don't know why I love dead space even though it's just system shock 3 but resident evil 4 with scientology and 90% of the mainstream horror staples I hate. but clearly there's something that dead space does differently from horror films.

maybe

just maybe

horror as film is overly predictable and follows traditional story arcs we've all seen a zillion times and there's no influence on the outcome no matter how many times you watch, it's just the same bloody mess each time and that's why I have no desire to watch any of them again because there's no ethical way to derive entertainment from watching people die in the same way over and over again.

perhaps I like dead space and horror games as a medium a lot more because the control and the direct integration into the game as a factor of immersion plugs it deeper into my brain juices and lets me actively enjoy it as a participant (even though I love horror music so that argument holds no water)

...

*avgn voice* or maybe it's just because schlocky sensationalist horror movies suck ass, merely appealing to the lowest common denominator recycling the same shit to keep audiences happy and make billions of dollars off of loud noises and a red filter over a cgi monster.

ffs I hate highschool of the dead because it sucks but it's still better than 90% of horror movies because there's actual meaning and heart behind all the panty shots and jiggling titties and skimpy underwear on junior high school girls which is you know still weird but like... japan be japan when it comes to anime and that's just how it be; it's still entertaining though and very gory and with high stakes and lots of character death but HOTD is still eons better than the similar walking dead became, partly because hotd didn't wanna go past the source because the author died but TWD was like EH, FUCK IT, KILL EVERYONE. and anyway this isn't a criticism of japan as a culture at all, just at the men in charge of anime, because japanese FILMS are incredible. their horror is so much more compelling than american and it really shows in the side by side comparisons (except for gore verbinski's version of the ring which was... better in some ways. nakata hideo sama please don't kill me for saying this, it's just that gore's an amazing director from a punk rock background- literally he was in a band and he was like "hey bad religion and nofx can I do your music videos" and they were like hell yeah bro- and only it makes sense that he would make a better horror movie). and I can say with no amount of irony that highschool of the dead is a better zombie series than george romero is physically capable of producing (well, outside of call of duty black ops).

if you disagree...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hey it's your opinion man