#free will discussion

[antifathomable-shapeshifter]

sometimes i wonder if im just autistic or if i also straight up have a personality disorder.

who knows. i'm not asking a professional.

besides, the whole system of diagnosing personality disorder is fucked top to bottom.

people who are diagnosed and/or people who find explanations in the diagnostic criteria will say things like "Don't use personality disorders as short hand for Evil Abuser Diseases" (and they're right) but also like. the guys who coined them coined them as Evil Abuser Diseases, no? They saw mentally ill people and said "Y'all are monstrous freaks, here's a label so we can control and abuse you."

correct me if im wrong, i have not done reasearch on this specificly, but like. im anti-psych. psychiatry has a super fucked past (and present). so i feel like its not a bad assumption that the diagnosis everyone thinks are for Evil People were made to be slapped on People Who Are Totally Evil Trust Me We Need To Protect Society From These Mentally Ill Freaks At Any Cost (to the patients).

im definitely not normal. i do not see people as equals, innately. that's earned to my brain. i treat people as equals, because if i don't, that gives others the justification to hurt me. i am selfish. i am kind because i am selfish. nothing i do isn't for my own self-satisfaction for one reason or another. and i cannot allow others the power to hurt me, and so i cannot allow them the power to hurt anyone.

i have a favorite person. i am partially disconnected from my emotions (likely autism). i crave attention and approval (adhd or pd? see my issue.) i hate the confusion surrounding the term empathy. "feeling others feelings". you can mirror their feelings, but it will always be your brain's interpretation of their feelings. im not saying your brain is always wrong! we're social creatures, most of us are pretty good at reading other people's emotions. but you aren't literally feeling their feelings. idk, maybe im just no-empathy. i feel similarly about romance, as an aromatic, so yeah.

all my feelings are my own. all my thoughts are my own. at the end of the day, im the only one who has my back, and i still fuck myself over frequently.

i strongly believe that there is no thing as true free will. i do believe we must act under the assumption we have it, but i don't think its real. its just that the amount of variables you'd need to keep fully understand is so insanely, impossibly large that no one can actually predict the future, or even the next action of a given person.

but a god could. a being of infinite knowledge and comprehension could absolute predict the future. all of it, forever.

life is about cause and effect. something caused this to happen, so it happened. it could have been you, it could have been your government, it could have been the weather.

its all dominoes. my brain is dominoes. im only in control in so much as i do what i wanted myself to do. i feel in control when my brain and body follow my directives and i don't when they don't. its arbitrary. i will never being able to force myself to do something when my body and brain refuse to do it. im not at the wheel. im a puppet monarch.

[maigetheplatypus57]

Do you think Evbo learned how to do those jumps and thought "oh this is so sick what's the best way I can show off my parkour skills"

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

The thing that is striking me the most about this album is just how messy and human it is. She’s not holding anything back or trying to appear one way or another. She’s just letting it all out regardless of what anyone might say. She found that trying to be polished and keep all the ugly, imperfect, human stuff in to be stifling and just said fuck it I need to do this for me. This album was an exorcism for her.

[rosecoloredtarot]

Personally I've never been a fan of the "magic is a beast that needs to be tamed" metaphor. Magic is more like the ocean: powerful, terrifying, capable of unbridled force. But at the same time, it is gentle, warm, the lifeblood of millions of people. The folk who know the ocean know you cannot harness it's force, you must work within or around it, lest it destroy you. Similarly, magic is great and terrible and gentle and kind, all at once. And those who work with it need to work WITH it, not reign over it. Because the primordial forces have no rules about biting the hand that feeds you.

[nevesceramics]

Home is a People - 2021

-

This series is part of my BFA thesis, focusing on the mundane and 'boring' parts of transmasculine life. I love these boys! If you attended NCECA this year, you may have gotten a peek at my bathroom t-shot fellas.

[austerity-audacity-asceticism]

it's interesting to see how certain 'lifestyle trends' on social media seem to be a half-baked reiteration of Catholic ideologies, orders, and the like.

tradwife that believes in the importance of the mother in the family? mariology and her role as Theotokos. minimalism? the franciscan order. dark academia and its many iterations (chaotic, light, etc.,)? the dominican order. "i wanna leave society and hang out with my friends in a commune/live alone"? the benedictines, the trappists, the carthusians, and more.

i don't know if i'm on to something here, and i'd love to hear someone else's thoughts.

[dreadark]

so why is Luka obsessed with Hyuna anyway?

(mostly just trying to get my thoughts on Luka down before blink gone rewires my brain)

every pet human is extremely limited in freedom, but Luka's case is definitely the worst literally even his birth was by Heperu's design... he can't control any aspect of his own life, from his participation of ALNST (twice!) to what he eats on a daily basis

*translations all by whatafruit

humans have no power over segyein, and Luka doesn't even have any power over own his own body so what can he have power over, then?

other humans, of course

most obvious in round 5: Luka would've had an easy win even if he barely tried, but he goes out of his way to provoke Mizi anyway until she finally snaps... and he smiles as he's beaten

because this is his "power." he successfully manipulated Mizi into reacting, proving he has some control over the situation no matter how pointless it is in the grand scheme of things, this is all he can influence, so he makes the absolute most of it and this control is so important to him he doesn't care about his own physical injuries

it's Hyuna talking in this comic, but clearly reflecting Luka's own mentality

while for Hyuna it's likely just her love for singing and performing (whatever happens, they can't take this away from her) for Luka I imagine it's the ability to influence others from the stage (crushing his opponents, but also shaping his fanbase?)

...so back to Luka -> Hyuna

it’s mentioned more than a few times that Hyuna’s a really talented performer, but seeing their respective stat pages really drives it in

(think the “superiority test” Hyuna was put through relates to this also)

Hyuna doesn't seem to have been created in any special way like Luka was… she just has a natural affinity to performing. and that's enough that she’s considered a real rival to Luka—Luka, who was literally made for this, and put through constant hellish training on top (the pain of having your heart stopped...) to mold him into the perfect idol

to Luka… if he can’t dominate Hyuna, he can't even take pride in his own ability (that everything he's forced to go through amounts to something?). and power over other humans is all he has, so he needs to overpower Hyuna (also he likely admires Hyuna’s talents at the same time, which just adds to his twisted feelings)

so since his ability isn't enough... by making someone think of you, only you… that’s another way of having power over someone, isn’t it

“your life is mine” “I told you I only wanted one thing”

whatever exactly happened with Hyunwoo… well that certainly worked. both removing Hyuna's most important person and making Luka someone she can't not think of (oh and he doesn't seem particularly interested in Hyunwoo despite how similar the siblings are in personality? Hyunwoo was even the first to approach Luka, not Hyuna so it's likely because he doesn't have his sister's talents)

but you know how his intimacy(?) value for her is only 70% I figure that's because she escaped, so they could never actually face off onstage... maybe he's disappointed in her "wasting" her ability

what all this amounts to is that she did end up escaping his control, and he never even got to compete against her. so until he can somehow completely overpower her, he'll be obsessed with her

I wonder if this represents his final effort to that... ultimately, he values control over his own well-being, so if he can goad Hyuna into killing him, then doesn't that cement his power over her?

and maybe "saves" him from this hellish life too

kind of a tangent, but I really like how their designs contrast this dynamic Luka looks really angelic and androgynous, so from appearance he seems fragile and like someone to be protected (which even Hyuna seemed to be tricked by when they were younger) and Hyuna obviously looks the stronger one in comparison (very #girlboss (lol...))

but their relationship is one where Luka's trying to control her and Hyuna's trying to escape it... that "beautiful lady" line of ruler of my heart always felt somewhat uncomfortable, and then learning it's actually pitiful (가련한) instead of beautiful is... ...it's a very gendered dynamic, if you get what I mean. despite their surface-level appearances going against what's considered typical

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 301

Ellie, during one of her stints of what do I do with my life right now, decides to, with the help of her Original Dad-Person (Look he’s aging and she’s not and it gets less questions the older he gets if he says daughter instead of sister with how the Fentons are getting older too) creates a Boo-Tube channel. No, not a Youtube channel, those are stuck to a single dimension.

Bootube on the other hand? Due to being through the Realms (and wow is Tucker getting so much income from creating it) is interdimensional. Which is so cool honestly. And she doesn’t know what to do at first, and honestly there’s already so many travel blogs that she kind of just… decided to do something that she wished someone had done for her and her brothers and Danny when she was new to the world. 

So she creates the channel CAAW: Clone Awareness, Accommodations, and Welfare. They had to learn things through trial and error, but maybe she can help someone out there learn how to find their own selves, or even help someone not melt. 

[radiant--as-the--sun]

do people really just wanna be fans of the hunger games and not mention palestine at all? like honestly? do you really wanna just support fictional uprisings and fighting back against fictional oppression but don't actually give a shit about it in real life? did y'all genuinely learn and internalize nothing from this series????

[queenvhagar]

My perhaps controversial take on the HOTD characters, the GOT characters the writers are trying to mold them into, and the GOT characters they actually most resemble in the books (in my opinion - feel free to disagree).

Disclaimer: these are entirely disconnected series with unique characters, so it's impossible to do what the writers of HOTD seemed to be trying to do in season 1 i.e. mold the characters from Fire and Blood to fit the characters of GOT to try to recreate the success of the early seasons. Given this, I tried to choose one single character analogue from GOT that each HOTD/FB character is most like, but oftentimes the reality is that if any single character from Fire and Blood resembles a Game of Thrones character it is likely that they are a combination of more than one. All of this said, here is who I think the writers are trying to fit certain HOTD characters into vs the character they are actually most like (according to Fire and Blood):

Rhaenyra Targaryen: obviously the show wants her to be the new and improved Daenerys, a protagonist everyone can root for who wants to revolutionize the existing order. In reality, Rhaenyra is most like Cersei: a woman who seeks to use her three bastards to usurp thrones and gain even more power than she already has, all while committing incest with a family member and using her power to punish and silence her enemies. She uses the existing system to raise herself up and keep others below her. She does reach her goal of ultimate power but ultimately she is unable to hold it. In pursuit of holding onto power or gaining more of it, she watches as her children die early deaths. The smallfolk despise her for her methods of ruling. Eventually, she will cause her own downfall and die before her time.

Alicent Hightower: the show wants her to be Cersei, a mean-spirited, jealous woman protecting her problematic children and using her status as queen to put others in their place (they even used Cersei scenes as audition material for the role). In reality, I see Alicent as most like Catelyn - a flawed woman, mother to a king, seeking to further the rights of her son in the hopes of protecting her family from those who would harm them, guided by her own sense of justice, honor, and understanding of the laws of the land (and of course, hyper aware of the bastards in the room). All she wants is her and her children's safety, and she is willing to go to war for it. In the end, however, she watches as every last child is taken from her before she herself dies alone.

Viserys I Targaryen: the show wants us to see him as the ultimate father who loves his child unconditionally and always supports her, and that his view of right and wrong should be what guides the world. In reality, he is most like Robert Baratheon: a weak king unsuitable for rule whose mistakes and complacency lead to civil war after his death. His preoccupation with past events and people, and his role in a former love's demise, leads him to neglect his current wife and their children and make decisions that create long-term issues for his family and the realm.

Criston Cole: as soon as Criston turns away from Rhaenyra, the show wants you to view him as a Meryn Trant type of Kingsguard - a man unconcerned with honor and violently anti-women, more than willing to carry out terrible acts commanded of him. In reality, Criston is like more like Jaime: he seeks to make a name for himself as a knight, guided by his own sense of honor and justice, though he is judged by others as lacking such principles. His devotion to his position on the Kingsguard and his love for the royal family motivates him. Occasionally his self-confidence and delight in goading his enemies can make him appear callous and proud. Although he is not officially the royal children's "father," he has guided and protected them and their mother from early on in the absence of their official father.

Daemon Targaryen: the show wants you to both love and hate Daemon. It seems he should fill many roles that Jaime did - a sword fighter whose swagger and danger mix together, whose dishonorable acts follow him through the world. He acts primarily out of love or his pursuit of it, whether for his brother or his lover and her children. The viewer is supposed to see that deep down he is a good guy, no matter how many characters say that he's not. In reality, I see Daemon as a more capable Viserys III: a man adamant in his family's racial superiority, who believes he and his loved ones should have access to unchecked power because they're better than everyone else. A man who enjoys exercising his power over others and demanding obedience out of fear of his wrath. A man who uses his younger family member to further his own interests without much thought to her own wishes or agency and willing to hurt her if she doesn't act the way he wants her to.

Otto Hightower: the show wants you to view Otto as a new Littlefinger, someone sly about his intentions who uses spies, information, and unsavory methods to take advantage of the ruling family and further his own interests and increase his own power. I see him instead as more similar to Tywin: a Hand of the King seeking to put his family close to the throne in pursuit of legacy and advancing his family's station, a man who arranged for his daughter to marry the king so his blood would sit the Iron Throne and bring his family power for generations, a man acutely aware of the political world and how the game is played and willing to get his hands dirty to play it.

The Strong boys: the show wants you to root for Rhaenyra's perfect, good natured and pure intentioned sons as if they were the Stark boys (mixed with Jon Snow). Raised in a good family, these boys know right from wrong and love each other. Yet some people unfairly think less of them for their birth. In reality, the Strong boys are closest to Joffrey, Tommen, and Myrcella. Bastards set to inherit positions they have no claim to, they are coddled by their mother and protected from any consequences to their actions. When one attacks another child, their mother demands that the other child's family is punished for their actions (and doesn't even reprimand the child for his role in the conflict). The result is the child has no remorse for the harm done, and the other child's family festers resentment against the child. Some people uncover the truth of their birth and object to their place in the line of succession, and these people are killed for speaking the truth. Eventually, a war is fought to keep them and their mother away from the throne, resulting in all of them being killed.

Aegon II Targaryen: the show wants you to see him as Joffrey 2.0. A man interested in viewing sadistic acts for his own pleasure, who abuses women for his own enjoyment, and who is unfit to rule. In reality I see Aegon as closest to Robb: a first born son reluctant to rule as king once his father dies but who rises to the occasion to try to keep his remaining family safe. A king willing to fight his battles alongside his men, no matter the risk it might pose to him. A king who tries his best to rule but makes mistakes along the way that cost him dearly. In the end, he watches as he loses everything, and he dies young.

[stil-lindigo]

link

I can't properly put into words the amount of disgust that I feel seeing someone who looks like she could be my cousin fight for a genocidal occupational force like Israel but I will say this.

If you are Chinese, Korean, Japanese or any one of these Asian ethnicities that the West deem "acceptable" and you align yourselves with western-backed racial supremacy, you are making fools of yourselves. You have fallen prey to the myth of the "model minority" and you are suckers for it.

The premise of racial supremacy is based on exclusivity. And here's a dose of reality - the myth of the "model minority" is nothing but a tactic to placate you. To sow divide in the ranks of people of colour. To artificially manufacture another realm of racial supremacy in minorities so that you're distracted from how we all suffer under colonialism.

Did we all forget about the skyrocketing of sinophobia in the wake of the first COVID outbreak? The transformation of Chinese people into fiends with barbaric eating customs, poor hygiene, and mass conspiracy to infect the world with biological weapons?

link

What about the hate-crimes? The attacks in the street against anyone visibly asian? The rampant discrimination and ostracisation from society?

In 2020, Donald Trump referred to COVID-19 as "The Chinese Virus", "Kung-flu" at a campaign rally to raucous applause, a chilling echo of the times where fears of the "Yellow Peril" had the western world in a stranglehold.

For all that Chinese people have been lauded as "prodigies" and "well-mannered workers", the moment our existence was incovenient, were were nothing more than another target. And although Chinese suffering then wasn't close to the scale of suffering that Palestinians now endure, we all received a reminder on what it was like to be in the world's crosshairs.

Now, in 2023, Biden dismisses death tolls as unreliable and remains proudly Zionist even after Netanyahu described the genocide Israel is inflicting upon Palestine as the "struggle between the children of light and the children of darkness, between humanity and the law of the jungle." At the same time, Palestinians are being compared to fleeing rats in a gesture of dehumanisation that mirrors how the Nazis portrayed Jews during the Holocaust.

link

And let's not think Abigail's Jewishness will save her, not when it's been proven that Israel has administered contraceptives to Ethiopian Jewish immigrants without their consent. Racial supremacy is an exclusive club that never stops getting smaller, and there is nothing that you, as a minority, will ever be able to do to fit in. One day, you too will be a target and there'll be nothing you can do but blame yourself. After all - it's already happened.

So shame on Abigail. Truly. With the memory of knowing what it's like to be targeted for factors out of your control fresh in her mind, she happily fights to do the same to others. And that says more about her than I ever will be able to.

[f-misc]

How do you feel about Christmas cracker jokes? Greg: You'd expect me to say they're awful, or be angry about them. But I quite like going through the motions and the family reading them out! Alex: I like the challenge of making them funny. I'm going to say something slightly arrogant: I will back myself in a family situation, even with a bad joke, to make it funny. I reckon comedians can still deliver it. I'll do it, whatever it takes.

Alex, you write the jokes for the Taskmaster Christmas crackers. What's the secret? Alex: You just write something that is really stupid and gets a groan. A groan is your friend. It's things like, which actor quenches your thirst the most? Leonardo DiCapri Sun. Greg: I mean, it's quite good. Alex: What about Danny DeVimto? Greg: I don't mind that, either.

What are your Christmas traditions? Greg: There's a tradition in my family that I believe to be barbaric. The rule is you can open gifts from Father Christmas in the morning, but all other gifts cannot be opened until the last dish has been washed following Christmas dinner. Alex: Whoa, not even after the meal? Greg: Nothing. Not until everything's been washed and everyone's sat down. I see the torture in my nieces' faces. It was almost the ruination of Christmas for me as a child.

Alex: We have a genuine tradition, where after dinner there's one pineapple, and everyone guesses the amount of leaves on the top of it. The oldest person in the household has to count the leaves. Greg: What a surprise that your family would have a weird tradition that no one else in the whole country does. Alex: They keep going. They get really small. You're looking at triple figures. You're looking at 100-plus. Greg: So in the Horne household, it's like, "Oh, gather round, now we're going to count the leaves on a pineapple?" It's like you're lost in some Victorian time loop. Alex: Well, we're not the ones banning our children from opening presents until it's dark...

'How much should you pay a short mother? Mini mum wage' GREG DAVIES

'Why did the man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well' ALEX HORNE

[fascinationstreetmp3]

i wonder how many more people would've vehemently hated gale right off the bat on full release if his introduction conversation had stayed like this or something similar

[tungledotedu]

if you see this post about the so-called dangers of conflating hamas with other political parties in palestine:

do know that op hid an addition by an actual palestinian and turned off reblogs

[lnmei]

Here’s a bit of a departure from my usual art posting but I’d like to get the word out about my dear friend Edrian and his friend Angeles’s endurance performance and hunger strike for a free Palestine in Los Angeles starting today, June 17th. (More info on Edrian’s Instagram and at venerations.cargo.site)

Edrian will begin cutting out paper dolls and ribbons to reach 35,647 of each, reflecting the reported death toll of Palestinians killed by Israel’s genocide in Gaza since Oct. 7th. He will not move from the venue until he is done and do nothing aside from cutting with few exceptions made for his own physical and economic survival. In addition to that and to represent a microcosm of the suffering in Gaza and Palestine, he will be on HUNGER STRIKE until he finishes. It’s an impossible task to do alone before starving so audience participation is essential. I’m spreading the word to ask for support through participation!

You can participate in a number of ways (more detailed instructions here):

Spread the word. Word of mouth and social media sharing are crucial as this performance is being promoted pretty exclusively via word of mouth.

Donate money to Palestinian aid funds! Certain high donation amounts can help Edrian continue his endurance performance by allowing him to engage in life-giving activities like showering or socializing with a loved one, and reaching the 100k total goal allows him to end his hunger strike.

If you live in and around Los Angeles, visit the venue (800 Date Ave, Alhambra, CA 91803) There you can help him cut and show your support. ***The performance is on the second floor of the venue and there is no elevator so it is not accessible except by stairs :(

If you don’t live near LA, you can cut paper dolls and mail them to the venue address to count towards the total. (printable templates here) This is what I will be doing. It’s easy to do with any spare time you’re not using your hands. I recommend mailing them in small batches if possible to get them in on time and reduce the risk of losing mail. I also recommend including info about the count of paper dolls in each parcel (for example include a note telling the total number of paper dolls) Every small amount counts!

If you are an Art Center College of Design student or alumni, sign the petition to pressure Art Center to divest from Israel! Art Center has refused to host Edrian and Angeles for their performance, torn down their posters promoting it, and in general refused to take a stance against Israel’s genocide. As artists and human beings we must resist genocide and refuse to support institutions that side against the people.

He is also live-streaming his performance and documenting progress if you would like to show support just by being present.

If you’ve never participated in a political performance before now’s a great chance, any little bit counts! I appreciate any time or effort you take to read this, support my friends, and work towards a free Palestine! ♥️🇵🇸