#but idgaf he looks edible

[ateezmakesmehappy]

as soon as i saw the first clip, i turned back to my 2021 editor ayesha phase. ME, YOU, I MEAN ALL OF US NEED A HWA P*RNSTAR EDIT😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ladies and gentelman, park seonghwa has just showed us who he is.

[dissvicious]

THE BARTO AND NINA SITUATION

Did Barto and Nina slept together during Uta's concert and does Barto has his place on the dad pool ??? Answer under the cut

🔞 MDNI - slightly spicy, drug use / chemsex

SO FIRST THING

the dad pool final results are sending me. Eustass CUCK-tain Kid much?? Anyway let's end the suspense now. Did Nina slept with Barto at Uta's concert?

Short answer: yes and no, anyway no chance in hell he can be the father of the baby.

To establish a thing this don't really fit my timeline since the baby was conceived at the beginning of the timeskip but since one piece film Red isn't really canon I decided if fit ok or let's say it wasn't the same concert idgaf it's just funny

So. Killer Kid and Nina never really settled grounded rules about being in an open or a closed throuple. The three of them are jealous and possessive each in their own ways so they are mostly exclusive, but whenever a special occasion shows up they talk about it and see if yes or no the other are comfortable with it (exemple : Kid: Can I hatefuck Law? Nina: if you do this babe I'll cut your dick with my chainsaw and give it to eat to the sharks 😊 Kid: ok. Communication 101)

when Nina decided to go to Uta's concert she was like "dudes I'm probably gonna get baked as hell and since you guys don't want to come with me to this 'normie mainstream commercial shit for pussies' I can't promise I won't gonna get laid" and they assumed she was just trying to piss them off so they snorted and agreed - yeah well ok I'll admit communication isn't their strongest skill ok

Nina spent the majority of the concert completely baked in her tent, met Barto in the picnic area of the camping next to the concert place while she was eating a big slice of space cake

They immediately became friends because that's what punks does at concert

She's the one who painted "UTA" on his face :3

"Oi wanna take some edibles and zone out with me in my tent?"

Nina got a small star projector she uses when she got high and they spent hours of just lying down together looking at low quality space pictures sliding her tent ceiling

🔴_🔴 🔴_🔴 "wow....."

One thing leading to the other they started making out, Nina was feeling alone without her boys and Barto reminded her of Kid.

Nina, caressing Barto hair: "Hanw you're stupid and you're wearing ugly pants just like my boyfriend I love him so much I miss him he's incredible.... Don't tell him I told you this tho he's an asshole and I hate him"

Nina would have loved taking things further than second base but...

It was a LONG dry period for Barto ok

Poor man only had the time to dry hump between her thighs for less than a minute before exploding like a powder barrel 😔

that's why he don't have his signature pants during the concert btw

She was slightly frustrated but she let him snuggled against her and sleep in her tent

Sobering up they forgot the incident and became good buddies, they often meet each other in concerts and raves.

Kid and Killer don't know yet what happened between Barto and Nina, not that she hide it from them, just she... Forgot it, it was really nothing to her.

If they find it they gonna get real mad at Barto for a little while. Poor dude.

So no, sorry to disappoint, Barto isn't the father of Chainsaw metal killer Baby.

I WON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE WAIT AND SEE FOR THE RESULTS

[vulgarvixxen]

Roman being a birthday whore

Tw: drugs, alcohol, suggestive drinks, sex, crying(the happy kind but it’s there), drunk/tipsy sex, orgy

It was his birthday and Roman had been invited to a concert by his twin who knew how much he wanted to see this new band but was too nervous to go alone.

The band had a masquerade theme, each member wearing a mask that hid half their face. The lead singer Emotions had a cat mask with light blue details, Logic wore a raven mask with indigo and dark blue highlights against the black feather and played the keyboard. The bassist, Anxiety, wore a mask that covered the bottom of his face in a creepy spider mouth in a deep purple, the drummer, who went by Deceit, had a snake tattoo on the left side of his face and a yellow and gold snake mask on his right half. They were really cool and their music was a mix of seductive melodies with thought provoking lyrics that got Roman’s creative side flowing.

Remus brought “Birthday Queen” and “Birthday Bitch” sashes for them to wear, they were corny but in the fun way that his brother could be when he wasn’t being a gore gremlin from work. (Being head of the special effects team for horror movies really warps one’s humor.) The club was more underground and you had to “know a guy” to get in, which both twins did but Roman had never taken advantage of the fact. Being a costume designer and inspiring actor didn’t leave him a lot of time to make friends let alone friends you’d take to a club that had a grungy ���IDGAF” vibe and catered to mainly behind the scenes clientele.

The outside was a boring looking concrete structure and inside it stayed mostly concrete, the walls were graffitied in mixed of color that popped out in 3-D designs where the black lights hit them. And the floors were a checkerboard of colored concrete covered in epoxy, glitter and confetti that seemed to be mixed in or just stuck between layers. It was grungy and beautiful, Roman was blown away and so grateful that his brother brought him here at last!

When a bartender wearing shades saw Remus they waved the twins over, “Hey Babe, I got you those passes you wanted. Two VIPs and two drink bracelets, your sweet birthday asses get to meet the band and all your drinks are free.” They explained, clipping on a neon pink bracelet, reminiscent of old hospital bracelets, onto each of their wrists. Remus gave them one of his happy feral grins, “You’re the best, Remy! I’d blow you right now if you weren’t on the clock.” To that “Remy” got a devilish grin of their own, “Speaking of blow jobs, let’s start you cuties off with a bj shot.”

The drink was made with some kind of coffee liqueur that smelled way too good to be cheap, Irish cream, and a healthy squirt of whipped cream. One of the shots was topped with edible gold and the other with edible rainbow glitter, Remus pulled the shots closer to the edge of the bar, taking the gold one for himself and putting the rainbow one in front of Roman. “There’s rules for this drink Ro-bro, no hands allowed, you have to knock it back with your mouth alone.” And to show what he means, Remus leans forward and wraps his lips around the glass rising up to throw the shot back. The chaos twin winks at Remy as he sets the shot glass back down without touching it, Remy looked like he was not at all impressed but that could have been his neutral face. Taking a stance so he won’t fall over, Roman put his hands behind his back and tried to copy what his brother did. It wasn’t perfect but he was able to get his mouth around his shot eventually, the taste of sweet coffee pours over his tongue and he finds it covers any alcohol flavor. He can’t quite put it down like Remus so once the glass is empty he uses his hand to put it on the bar, “That was really good, thanks Remy.” Remy smiled at him, “No problem, Babe, go have a fun birthday.”

The first hour was full of local bands playing a song or two, never staying for long before the next one came one, most of them weren’t Roman’s taste but a few didn’t sound half bad. They ended up buying a shirt from a three person band that was called Rainbow Panic and reminded him of LaPeer, the girls all wore different pride buttons and looked pretty young to be already so talented. They asked the girls to autograph the shirts. Between bands they got more drinks and mingled with some of the regulars that Remus seemed to know, it was really feeling like a party by the time the main act, the reason they were there, The Guise!

Conversation quieted to barely a whisper as the band started playing their song ‘Façade’, a song about feeling like an imposter in your own life. It was one of Roman’s favorites and the reason he had sought out more of their music, he was mouthing along with it as he let it flow through him. He couldn’t be sure but it looked like Anxiety noticed because he was giving their table more glances than the rest…could just be the silly birthday get up though. The second on the playlist was another great song, probably their most popular, ‘Subterfuge’. This one was about how we’re lied to from childhood and how telling the truth is more deceptive in this day and age. The story is cool but the lyrics are so clever by using words with double meanings. The next few in the list are ‘Parody’, ‘Veneer, and ‘Strike A Pose’, each one was pretty good and Roman knew all the words still but he wasn’t in love with them like the first two. The last before the break was Roman’s current favorite, ‘Reproduce’, it was about how being creative could feel like making love or being screwed. It was both relatable and really sexy, Emotions and Deceit shared the microphone for this one and it did things to his insides.

The break saw Remus getting them some pretzels while Roman kept watch of their drinks, the line at the bar was long so he wasn’t expecting his brother for a while. So when someone sat next to him Roman was rightfully surprised, the guy was wearing a purple hoodie that hid most of his face in shadow that set him on edge. “Uh sorry, just wanted to say happy birthday. Hope it’s a good one.” And just as quickly as he arrived the hooded mystery man was gone back into the crowd.

Remus thankful got back in time for the last small band to still be playing and Ro could tell him everything about the mystery guy, “Ooh, sounds like you could end up having a happy ending to your happy birthday. Lucky.” Re teased, knowing that Roman wasn’t one to typically have one night stands. They ate their snack and clapped with the rest of the room when The Guise came back for their final half. ‘Four-Flush’ about a lover cheating, ‘Assume’ about assuming a persona and the assumptions made because of that persona, ‘Jubilee’ celebrating a success by aiming higher, ‘Holy Revelry’ a newer song about embracing your flaws because it makes you human, and lastly the song that cemented their popularity, ‘Masquerade’, all about coming out of the closet and facing the “red death” of being disowned. The queer community in Hollywood had fallen in love with the pure emotion that Emotion put into it, it had made Roman cry the first few times he heard it.

The show wraps up with Emotions and Deceit thanking the audience and a club worker saying that the live music for the night was over and that a DJ would be playing the rest of the night. This was when Remus nudged him and waved their VIP passes at him, “Let’s go meet the band Ro-bro!” Oh right, they had those, he had forgotten. O-M-G he was going to meet the Guise, this was the best birthday ever! Going to the door that the band went through was nerve wracking, the bouncers were super nice though and knew Re so that was comforting. In the back there was an area or closed doors probably for dressing rooms and a curtain that the bouncers had pointed them to. Behind it was the band sitting on various furniture, chilling and out of some of the more restrictive parts of their costumes. The smell of weed tickled Roman’s nose and he noticed Deceit and Logic passing a thin joint between them, Emotions was drinking a bright pink concoction that almost hurt to look at, and Anxiety was sitting on the arm of a chair wearing a familiar hoodie and fiddling with his mask.

“Hiya, you guys rock. I can see why my bro here is a huge fan.” Remus says as a way of announcing their arrival. Anxiety jolts from his task and Roman can see his eyes widen, that was the mysterious stranger! Emotions waves at them, “Hi, nice to have you here and also happy birthday!” His talking voice is higher but just as soothing to hear, it distracts Roman from his mini heart-attack realization. Remus shoves Roman onto an unoccupied couch and sits next to him, “Thanks, sorry if Roman stays quiet for a hot second, normally he’s a real talker but he’s all star struck. Give him a minute and he’ll probably have a good story about some celebrity he fitted for some movie or whatever.” Roman blushes at the mention of his work, he always forgot that he technically was around stars all the time.

Logic asks if Remus has any stories of his own, the gremlin talks about meeting the lead lady of horror herself Sigourney Weaver when he worked on the newest Halloween movie. That got Roman to speak up a little and add the part Remus had purposely left out, it was purposely because Remus would never forget a part of that story. The conversation started picking up from there and soon Roman didn’t notice Remus leaving with Remy after a drink drop-off. He did however notice when the guys started to take off their masks.

Logic and Emotions had the easiest to get off and they both switched out contacts for very similar glasses, Logic with black and Emotions with a sky blue. Anxiety had followed with his spider mask and put it in a bag by his chair, he put in a set of spider bites that shone a rainbow of colors. Deceit was the last to uncover his full face but he didn’t add anything, actually he removed something, his tattoo! It had apparently been a temporary one he used to obscure his identity. But now Roman had a new problem, they each were very pretty and giving him a lot of attention.

“You know,” Deceit purrs, “We were going to go out and unwind, you should come with us.” Emotions nods enthusiastically, causing Deceit to chuckle. Logic chimes in next, “I’m sure if you let your brother know that it won’t be a problem, he seems like the protective sort.” Roman nods, Remus had always been his physical protector while Roman stood up for Remus during conflicts of feelings. It was just how they balanced each other out. “Be sure to share your location too, safety and all that.” Anxiety adds. Could he? Should he? This was every real life horror story beginning but it’s not like he was stupid enough to not already know to share his location, not that he needed to with the twins having “track my phone” for each other. “I mean, I’d like that. Re would probably say I need to be more adventurous anyway…” he was already pulling out his phone and sending the texts.

After some late night greasy hole in the wall food the band takes him along to a coffee shop that was pretty close to his own apartment, he didn’t say anything but they all knew the menu so they must come often. It’s there he sees the signs that the guys are partners in more than just the band. Emotions is a touchy person so seeing him hang onto the others doesn’t register at first but then he kisses Deceit and that tracked, the duets had so much heat in them not to be from actual feelings. But then he kisses Logic and calls him Logie, it’s too sweet to be a nickname based on his persona so it must be from Logic’s real name. Next was Anxiety snuggling his face into Deceit’s neck, the act screamed “lovers”. So when Roman caught smaller hints it became obvious that the band was a polycule.

Emotions giggly held his hand as the group went to the apartment complex just around the block from his own, Anxiety was close enough to his other side that they bumped shoulders in a way that felt intentional. Logic led the way with Deceit bringing up the rear, Roman felt safe instead of crowded like he would have normally. Inside their place was extremely homey, lived in and filled with love, it reminds Roman of sharing a dorm with his brother and Emile in college. “I’m grabbing beers, requests?” Anxiety asks, heading to what was likely the kitchen. Logic asked for his “usual” and Emotions called for a “dark”, what’s brought in is some local brew, two light beers and two lagers. “I didn’t know what you liked so I grabbed extras of their stuff, but um, I could get you water if you want.” Anxiety offers. It was really nice of him but Roman was in the mood for a normal beer after all those mixed drinks. “Beer sounds good to me, thanks.”

After a few beers they accidentally let slip their names, Patton, Logan, Virgil, and Janus. Roman now had a lap full of Patton, the guy was playing with Roman’s sash and humming. The others were all talking quietly as not to disturb Pat’s bubble of sound, it was a surprise when suddenly there was a pair of lips kissing his neck. He must of made a noise because the other three had stopped talking, he should be stopping Pat, those were Patton’s partners and the poor guy probably was drunk enough to think he was one of them! He was going to say something when Janus chuckled, “Of course our dear Emotions would be the first to make a move.” With the silence broken Virgil adds in quickly, “You can say no, he won’t be upset, we won’t be upset. This is all so sudden and all.” Logan seems to agree with how he nods and puts a hand on Virgil’s shoulder.

“W-what if I don’t want to say no?” Roman stutters, face burning. “Please.” Patton has quit giving him hickeys to give him the sexiest pair of puppy eyes. That was just unfair. Heart hammering Roman kisses those pouting lips, the next bit is a blur but eventually the five of them are in a bedroom with a California King with far less clothes on then they had on in the living room. Patton was kissing his neck again and Virgil had claimed his lips, he could see Logan or Janus but he could feel their hands all over him. Someone was taking off his pants but he couldn’t care less who, Virgil had just made the hottest whine into his mouth and he was kinda more focused on that. Whoever was taking pants off had done the same for Patton and making rounds, Virgil was rutting his hard-on onto Roman’s own. Patton switching places with Logan and slicked fingers entered him, “Good boy, so relaxed and willing to be filled” Janus hummed the praise from close by, Roman whimpered into Virgil’s kiss.

Logan had three fingers fully inside Roman when he pulled out, they were almost immediately replaced by Virgil’s dick. Roman figured it was him from the piercing and the way Virgil sighed at the same time he was filled. The pace started slow and built up, moans were mixed with praise and kisses from the others to both of them. All too soon Virgil had finished, pulling out quickly and falling into Janus’s waiting arms. “Aww, was our spiderling that pent up that he couldn’t even make it to our guest’s first time?” It was teasing but the tone made it sound like this was normal, Virgil was just like that.

Now Patton was back in front of him and had a happy grin on his cherub face, “Ro-Ro! It’s my turn, do you want my dick or my mouth?” Roman had always been more a bottom and when it came to oral he much preferred giving than receiving, “Your dick, please.” He answered, though quietly like he wasn’t already in their bed. “Aww, no need to be coy! You’re being so good using your words, you’re a very good boy.” God, Roman didn’t know why that pet name was affecting him more than ever before, was it because of who was saying it or how they said it like it was true? He couldn’t think about it long as Patton pushed in and Roman had to keep himself from screaming in pleasure. Emotions not only had a big heart but also a huge cock, thickening as it went and it just kept going! Logan rubbed one of his hips, helping him relax again and take more.

The pace Patton set was slow, he didn’t build up like Virgil had but kept perfect rhythm as he pushed deeper each time in. As this was going on Logan had moved on to just as slowly jacking Roman off, slick fingers playing with him like they had all the time in the world. When Virgil came back into the mix it was to litter his neck in soft kisses, from what Roman could see Janus was buried in Virgil and watching as the others played their parts. Something about that seemed so romantic and loving, so private that the blush on his cheeks traveled down to his chest. Looking at Logan or Patton didn’t help, they were looking at him like something precious. He spilled over Logan’s hand with a sob, Janus and Logan coo over him thinking it was just the orgasm but he couldn’t remember the last time he felt so loved. Patton came a few thrusts later, praise and “love you”s spilling out of him like a salve on a burn.

Janus and Logan kept up the coos as Patton and Virgil cuddled, dozing in and out as they watched for now. He was lubed up again by Logan as Janus took to kissing him, deeply and hotly. He didn’t notice when they started frotting but he was very aware when Logan entered him, the pace set was in sync with him and Janus. “You have been very good, Roman. Never impatient or demanding, you were even going to remind Patton that he wasn’t kissing one of us. So honest and humble, such a good boy.” Logan whispers into his ear, it has him whimpering into the kiss again and praying he isn’t crying. Janus breaks the kiss to add his own whispers, “Virgie showed you his face but you didn’t call him out backstage, you didn’t accuse me of being fake because of the tattoo either. How are you just so lovely, hmm? You could brag about working on movie sets but you got awe-struck by us, how did we go so lucky?” Roman is definitely close to tears now, hiding his face into Janus’s shoulder to hide his wet eyes and just bask in the moment.

Logan picks up his thrusts and ends up cumming next, not that Roman and Janus are far behind. Roman is pampered with kisses and more praises as the revived Patton gets washcloths to clean up with and Virgil has water bottles at the ready. Like outside Roman is in the middle of the group as they all settle down into a calm, he’s pretty sure Patton will be asleep soon and the rest of them are not going to last long either. He wonders as he starts to drift off if this will just be for tonight and he’ll have to treasure this night or if maybe, just maybe he has a chance to be part of this relationship.

In the morning he has several texts from Remus saying he was also going out, that he was staying with Remy, don’t wait up ;). Logan is awake and in the living room as Roman heads for the door, “Roman, a moment please.” He’s not sure what to expect from this, maybe a warning to keep quiet about their identities or not to contact them again, what he doesn’t think will happen is Logan adding his number to Roman’s phone or a promise of sending the rest of their numbers later in the day. “We normally date a new person first before taking them to bed but last night was an exception. I hope you will accept the offer.” The kiss goodbye was gentle and warm and Roman can’t help but smile all the way home.

[what-reader-we-r-illiterate]

Cw rambling gibberish pregananannt intox dubcon

Guys yall have to stop w f leo cos im into him now and also normal leo hes just. The wreck of a boy ever

I wanna give him cute clothes

I demand both old men NOW

NOW i say

Give f leo stuffies and dresses and kigurumis and lotsa treats cos he would look cute chubby and refuse to let him do anything but relax he has worked enough!!!!!! No more works only being cozy thank youuu

Coax Future Leo tm into eating far too many edibles, even for his size, and play with his slit until he drops, tell him he's such a sweet thing for you, so good dropping so you can sit on him and play video games. He's so big, it's fun to see what he can take, listening to him gasp and moan and watching the toughest, most battle-hardened creature alive fall apart under your hands. Fuck him until he cries, fuck him pregnant and force him to stay home and push out your clutch, he cries out so sweetly as they stretch him. Subby top or bottom idgaf i just wanna see him happy and fucked nicely

[scattered-irises]

Someone out there please make a shitty, extremely exploitative film about Kaito Tenjo that is basically just 3 hours of Kaito getting beaten up, tortured, abused and manipulated

It should have:

Kaito naked and running around for no fucking reason. Maybe make him streak across Heartland on Orbital idgaf

also don’t forget to show his dingledongle because that’s what people came for I guess

Christopher is an abusive asshole who for some reason plays a major role in Kaito’s life and keeps coming back???

Creepy Mr. Heartland

Kaito doesn’t get to win throughout any of this. He’s just a hockey puck being smacked around.

Throughout the entire film, Kaito’s involvement with fucked up guys is attributed to his search for a father figure yuck

Mizael is portrayed as the one nice guy but is still an ass

Child Kaito has a scene where he talks to a poorly animated fetus Haruto. The whole scene looks like it was done on barianite edibles. It really has no important effect on the story but it’s just there because the director would have murdered someone if it was taken out (shrugs)

This better have duels

[dee-in-the-box]

alrighty, here we go:

so, our lil dude's name is Lainey [REDACTED] (< last name has been expunged from most company records due to "This Fucker Was Murdered At Fredbear's, It’s Not Supposed To Be Here, And We'd Like For People Not To Ask Questions About This" reasons)

despite being closer to around Jack's age and (presumably) alive and human, she still appears to be in her early twenties.

gender? "idgaf (< genderqueer)"

pronouns? "anything works, tbh. including it/its"

Sexuality? "idk and idc. probably a Bit ace, though"

and now, of course, onto this lil guy's backstory and other fun facts:

- Lainey worked at Fredbear's a couple of months after Jack...y'know. he was around a year younger than Jack, being twenty-one at the time. they'd generally come in high (Weed), drunk, or both.

- found Henry’s tapes, listened to one of them, went "well That’s fuckin' weird," and then just went on with its day. it wasn't That big of a deal, right?

- apparently, Henry didn’t think so!

considering his plan after that was to dismember Lainey! alive!

- why? well, he wants to make sure that no one ever found out what was on those tapes. it didn't matter that Lainey paid them no mind, they had found something they weren't supposed to see, and Henry wants to make sure they stay quiet.

- as a ghost, Lainey wandered around to find some way to replace her former body. eventually, he found a puppet maker, and managed to, as a ghost, get the guy to effectively craft him a new body. it looks like a cross between a marionette and a ball-jointed doll, but it was as good as he could get. he even got a mouth! they decorated the body to match their old one, and then covered up some of their more...doll-like traits.

- and now we're here!

now, some fun facts!

- Lainey, due to his body being a doll's, basically, has no real organs. despite this, they can still get high and drunk. she just can't smoke (no lungs/can't breathe), so her best alternative is to eat edibles or weed brownies.

- they can get tired and feel pain, but not feel hungry or thirsty. they still eat and drink, though. he just has to clean himself out when the food starts to rot inside of him.

- Dave attempted to drown her once, and got increasingly more concerned as ten minutes went by and she was still flailing around and Clearly not drowning.

- despite its apparent nonchalance about its death, Lainey is very traumatized by what happened. keep in mind, from her perspective, her boss brutally murdered her. by dismembering him. with an axe. while he was still alive. for basically no reason.

- "you have horrible taste in men." "no i don't?? wdym??" "both of them are zombies. one of them is orange. the other is purple, a cryptid, and a murderer." "yeah...but they're kinda hot, though. except for the child murder bit. could do without that, tbh." "Lainey-"

that's about it for now. Lainey is an Interesting lil fellow-

happy valentine's day, y'all!

so uh.

if i were to say that i may or may not have made a self-insert for the dsaf universe, as well as how they're Completely Normal about Jack and Dave,

would you like to hear about them?

[ebonyslasher]

Let’s Get High

Title: Let’s Get High

Requested by: Rated_M on Ao3

Danny Johnson:

Reaction: Confused, but Cool

Danny came home one day to discover you relaxed on the couch with a blunt in your hand. His reaction is interesting….He’s actually pretty confused.

Really didn't know how HE didn't know that you smoked….that little detail must have escaped him. His stalking skills must have been lacking.

He’s gonna smoke with you. But, he isn’t into using blunts. His energy is too chaotic for that- bongs are where it’s at for him.

He has a collection of some sick-ass bongs he’s bought (or stolen).

He will probably try to match how often you smoke- he doesn’t want to be high alone.

Reaction: Ecstatic

“Let me introduce you to my second best friend….dat OG Kushhhhhhhh bra”

You can take ONE look at this man and it’ll take a ½ a second to know he’s a weed head.

When you pull your small bag of weed out, he lugs out this huge bag of them. While you were impressed, he was just happy to know you smoked too.

Will smoke any type of way….He’s made a big makeshift smoke pipe a few times…Even tried to smoke out of his bootyhole lol (he can still feel the burn).

Gets you and himself all the weed apparel and memorabilia he can find.

A mess of giggles and silliness whenever y’all get high.

Stu has the best dealer in the world…so many different strains that have you salivating.

Reaction: IDC

Does not give a fuck in the best way possible. He’s not surprised to know that you smoke.

He does like how relaxed and free you get when you do. The vibe you give off calms him down too

Saw you longingly looking at this device when watching 2 Chainz Most Expensivest. It was ordered and given to you within a one-week span.

Whether or not he will indulge himself with you…..I don't know. It could go either way.  Jesse doesn’t seem like a smoker to me

Reaction: Horrified (Unless for Medical)

The devil's lettuce…in his house? On his land? The dirt, trees, and Flowers?! How dare you!

The only way he would accept you doing it is if you had a medical condition.  That’s it

Would rather you not smoke it…being in the woods and all. Don’t want any forest fires.

So edibles or oil would be the way to go~

He’ll accidentally eat any edibles you have unlabeled if you infused the oil in your cooking.

Ever seen a big (height) hunk of muscle not move in 4 hours? That’s him

….you start labeling your food from now on

Reaction: IDGAF

Doesn’t give a fuck in the worst way possible. Meaning that if you get too high, he won’t help (unless he’s in a very good or affectionate mood). And if he wants you to do something (or do something to you) he won’t care.

His opinion of you doesn’t change.

He does enjoy seeing the different reactions that you have. Never a dull moment in observing you

If not observing or annoying you, he just leaves you alone and goes out to kill

Discovered the concept of edibles in the worst way. He unknowingly ate your weed brownies one day….and this bitch ate half the pan.

It hits the FUCK out of him hard….and in his paranoia- rage-induced state, he throws the pan of brownies on the ground and curb stomps them

The look of betrayal he gave you was too funny tho…you had to laugh

Good thing he likes you and is too fucked up at the moment…. He could've killed you for that.

[eldritchsurveys]

1008.

5k Survey LXVII

3401. How well can you read between the lines when others are talking? >> I’m not usually looking to read between any lines. My first inclination is to take what people say at face value, excepting cases like speaking in metaphor or using sarcasm, which I think I can figure out pretty well.

3402. Would you ever speak in front of your peers about peace and social injustice? >> In a formal sense, like giving a speech? Most likely not. 3403. Where does peace begin? >> ??? 3404. Does Aamerica practice the ideals it preaches? If yes when and where? If not, why not? >> Which ideals, exactly, are we talking about? 3405. In conversations do you assume that you know what will be said? If yes, isn't this a form of closing yourself off to new ideas? >> I don’t try to predict conversations or anything.

3406. In what ways are you closed minded? >> I’m not sure. I’m willing to accept a vast variety of subjective realities. I consider it a strength of mine, it’s helped greatly in practicing compassionate thinking (a practice in which I am otherwise not very strong yet). 3407. do you prefer beans or rice? >> I mean, I generally prefer these two things together. 3408. who's a better tv dad?--dr. huxtable (bill cosby) or danny tanner? >> I don’t know who Danny Tanner is, but I never much cared for the Cosby Show either way. 3409. detroit or new york? >> I would love to go to Detroit at some point (I was there for a conference in 2013 or so, and Sparrow and I went to see a Welcome to Night Vale live show there some years later, but in neither case did I get to actually see anything else in Detroit except the exact thing I was there for). Can’t pick a preference without having been to both cities. 3410. What's your favourite Star Wars movie? >> Hmm... I thought The Force Awakens was pretty cool, and Revenge of the Sith too. I don’t remember which one from the original trilogy I liked best because it’s been longer since I’ve seen those. 3411. What's your favourite Star Trek movie? >> I’ve never seen any of those. 3412. How about Batman? >> At this point, the only Batman movies I really remember anything about are the Nolan Trilogy ones, and those were pretty interesting.

Indiana Jones? >> I’ve never seen any of these.

Lord of the rings? >> I don’t remember if I liked any of them more than the other two.

harry potter? >> I don’t remember if I liked any of them more than the other eight. I think the Deathly Hallows ones were pretty interesting? 3413. If you could ask one question and one question only to the following people, what would that question be: Saddam Hussain? George W Bush? John Lennon? an alien? God? Someone you knew who has died? Steven Speilberg? JD Salinger? 3414. Have you seen AI (artificial intelligence)? If yes, what were the beings at the end of the movie? Do you see this as a possible future for humanity? What'd you think in general? >> It’s been years since the last time I saw this movie, and all I can remember about it as a result is that it was a bit maudlin but I loved it at the time. I’ve bandied about the idea of rewatching it, but eh, who knows. Honestly, if I’m going to revisit a maudlin movie about robots and emotions, it’s going to be Bicentennial Man first and foremost before any other. 3415. If a-l-k-a-s-e-l-t-z-e-r spells 'relief' how do you spell: love? happiness? evil? sexyness? yummy? 3416. Have you ever been to a Braodway show? What one? >> I have seen exactly one (1) stage production, and that was Phantom of the Opera. If I never get the chance to see a live show again, at least my one experience was as amazing and transformative as it was. 3417. Nighttime shows or matines (sp?)? >> Matinees, always. 3418. How are your family get-togethers, loud and rambunctios or quiet and formal? >> --- 3419. Would you be able to survive shippwrecked alone on a desert island? >> I mean, no, dude. Let’s be realistic lmao 3420. Speaking of islands, does Gilligan EVER get off his? >> I don’t know anything about that show. 3421. What movie has the BEST soundtrack? >> I could never answer this, my brain immediately starts screaming about all the movie soundtracks it loves and I don’t even know where to begin or how to use words. 3422. Do you ever go into chat rooms? If yes, what ones? >> No. I mean, I use Discord, but that’s a bit different from the chat rooms of yore. 3423. Is english your first language?  >> English is my first language.

If not...How you say hello in your language: another word in your language + english translation: boob in your language: 3424. Make up a religion (make it up): >> No, thanks.

what would it believe: 3425. Create your own country- >> Nope. Name of country: Ethnic background: Language (make it up): Other details: 3426. How would you celebrate these holidays? Dogs in Politics day: Magic circles day: Be bald and free day: National mole day: Syliva plath day: Increase your psychic powers day: Waiting for the barbarians day: Air day: 3427. -Why do you think Steve got kicked off Blue's Clues: >> I vaguely remember this moment in history, but not enough to have an opinion about it. 3428. Hooked on heroin or hooked on phonics? >> ... 3429. -Have you ever taken an insanity quiz and said, "Hay, thats a good idea!" >> What? 3430. - Have you ever covered yourself in blood and layed down on the side of the road to make it look like you were in an accident? You don't know what you're missing. >> I think that’d be a pretty mean prank to play on unsuspecting passersby. 3431. Can you flare your nostrils? >> No. 3432. -do you want to swim in a vast lake of gatorade? or, any other beverage for that matter? >> No. 3433. -have you ever sneezed at the same time everyday, consecutively, for over 3 months? >> No. 3434. -how did the first person discover that pigs feet would be so good that we call them a delicacy? >> I don’t know, how did the first person discover that anything was edible? 3435. -why did the first person to ever eat pigs feet eat them? >> Because they were hungry? 3436. -do you like the idea of 'like father, like son'? >> I don’t know how I’m supposed to answer this. I don’t care about that saying. 3437. Put the following musical acts in order from best to worst by numbering them..(1 for best, 2 for 2nd best, etc... 20 for worst). >> Are you kidding me. Avril: Ashanti: Joan Jett: David Bowie: the Bee Gees: The Doors: Tool: DMX: Iggy Pop: Creed: Weezer: Ministry: Thursday: Kittie: Adam Ant: Rancid: the Clash: Led Zeppelin: Moby: Tom Waites: 3438. Would you rather be an evil dictator or a sitcom family member? >> ??? 3439. What is the wave of the future? >> I don’t know. 3440. What's your favorite old movie (before 1990)? >> lmao, “before 1990″... anyway, I love a lot of movies that came out in that expansive period of time, so... 3441. When someone tells you that their signifigant other lives REally Far Away..do you ever suspect that they are single and making someone up? >> I do not suspect that unless I have reason to suspect them of lying (as in, past experience of them lying about things, particularly bigger things). 3442. Alaska or Hawaaii? >> I don’t have a preference because I’ve been to neither location. 3443. Why did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC? >> I don’t remember why. Brands just be doin shit, idgaf. 3444. What is there no place to hide from? >> ... 3445. Which makes you happier, giving presents or getting them? >> I mean, getting a gift is really fun. Giving a gift is really fun. I don’t know why I’d be comparing those two experiences. 3446. What can you never have just one of? >> I can’t think of anything. 3447. What comes to mind when you think of Hulk Hogan?/ >> The fact that he’s always saying “brother”. I think that’s the right guy. 3448. What would you be the patron saint of? >> I have no idea. I think that’d be up to whoever put forth the petition for my canonisation. 3449. Do you still look at the world with wonder like you did when you were a kid? >> Not with the same intensity and regularity as one would when one’s brain is still in development, but I do try to stay in contact with that part of myself. 3450. For 5 seconds clear your mind. Good. Now write the first thing that you can think of!: >> No, thanks.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Alpaca accounts are underrated social media treasures

In the vast world of animals with social media accounts, common household pets like cats and dogs typically reign supreme. But if you’re not following your fair share of alpacas on the internet, you’re sorely missing out.

Though social media accounts dedicated to alpacas are rare, they're remarkable —  like delicious pieces of hay in the ridiculous needle stack that is the internet. You have to do a bit more searching than you would to find a cat or dog account, sure. But when you do happen upon a dedicated farm or fan posting camelid content, it doesn't disappoint.

Since following several alpaca accounts like Alpacas of Instagram, Barnacre Alpacas, and The Woolly Army, I've found the animals' presence in my daily digital life, though small, to be a real mood booster. After noticing that lighthearted alpaca content makes Twitter and Instagram significantly more bearable, I decided to reach out to some leaders of the alpaca social media movement to learn more about the underrated animals, and what it's like making a space for them online.

SEE ALSO: This cat named Michael Scott is the World's Best Cat

Alpacas are the ideal internet animal in my opinion. They're cute — but not too cute — and bursting with personality, which comes across perfectly in photographs and videos. They're experts at sporting goofy grins and shooting skeptical stares, and often give off major IDGAF vibes that speak to me on a deeply personal level after scrolling through pages and pages of monotonous selfies and brunch shots.

Some alpacas — like Chewy, a 4-year-old male camelid in Australia, and Cody, an especially small but resilient female alpaca in Colorado, who defied her odds of survival after being born prematurely — have thousands of followers on Instagram. But if you're craving a variety of diverse and delightful alpaca content, Alpacas of Instagram is the account for you.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Alpacas of Instagram (@alpacasofinstagram) on Jan 23, 2019 at 5:54am PST

The human behind the Alpacas of Instagram account, who asked not to be identified in this article, explained in an email that the account was born while she and a friend interned at an alpaca farm in high school. The farm had 15 alpacas, two crias, a St. Bernard, and a sheep named Gracie at the time. In between learning how to properly care for them and shear wool, the two pals would post photos of the animals to Instagram.

The social media platform was just starting to gain traction, the Alpacas of Instagram creator explained, so when she left for college she decided to keep up the account by reposting photographs from other people who used the hashtag #AlpacasofInstagram.

Using clever captions and quotes, the account tries to post at least one adorable alpaca photo or video a day. And Alpacas of Instagram also works to foster the online alpaca community by sharing content from smaller accounts to its nearly 180,000 followers followers.

"The engagement from followers has been amazing," the creator said, noting the hashtag currently has around 140,000 public posts. And while the attention and positive feedback is nice, she's ultimately just happy to help put the beloved animals in the spotlight.

Image: screengrab/alpacasofinstagram

"I am intentionally private about myself on the account," the account creator explained. "I started it because I wanted to share my love for these animals with the world, not so much myself ... I really enjoy giving a platform to these animals and their owners."

Alpacas' personalities, she explained, are what she loves most about the animals. "Yes they’re cute, and adorable, and fluffy, but they’re also really curious and sweet animals" that can be initially skeptical of people. "They can be really silly and awkward too, which is why I think they’re starting to have such a presence on social media ... They're these stupidly cute animals who do really awkward looking and hilarious things sometimes."

I first learned about the the Alpacas of Instagram account through alpaca lover Hilary Duff, whose boyfriend recently bought her an alpaca named Ivan for Valentine's Day. For now, though, Ivan has to live at the farm with his friends, since alpacas are happiest in herds and will quite literally die of loneliness without an alpaca friend nearby. Is that not the most precious thing you've ever heard?

View this post on Instagram

Omg my baby Ivan. Welcome to the family! Ivan will stay on the alpaca farm with his friends until we are ready to be farm people! We get to visit when ever we like! I’m the luckiest girl. Ok. @matthewkoma serious swoon ♥️

A post shared by Hilary Duff (@hilaryduff) on Feb 10, 2019 at 2:57pm PST

Alpacas take on the Twitter-verse

Though alpacas clearly have a growing presence on Instagram, accounts for farms like Barnacre Alpacas, and individual herds like The Wooly Army have been stealing hearts on Twitter, too.

Paul and Debbie Rippon, the husband and wife team who run Barnacre Alpacas at Turpin's Hill Farm in Northumberland, UK, said they've gained nearly 16,000 followers since they started tweeting in January 2011.

"It's as much part of our farming day as feeding the alpacas," Paul said when describing the farm's approach to social media. "We try to tweet every hour and include lots of pictures and videos."

Hello boys, you need a little haircut Pascal so you can see. pic.twitter.com/mYCEv7iOGw

— Barnacre Alpacas (@BarnacreAlpacas) February 11, 2019

Thanks to one of Michael Palin's travel programs, alpacas made their way onto Debbie's radar in the early 2000s. She and Paul then spent years researching the animals before buying their first three female alpacas in Feb. 2007. After more than a decade of learning, breeding, and expanding the family, they now have an impressive herd of 300 alpacas — one of the largest in the UK.

Barnacre Alpacas breed and sell alpacas, make their own knitwear, and host visits, events, and more. But the farm is also well known for providing a daily dose of hilarious and informative alpaca updates.  

I was just saying hello Grigio I don’t have anything. pic.twitter.com/fjv4bI5E5O

— Barnacre Alpacas (@BarnacreAlpacas) February 7, 2019

"They're such characters that it's very easy to invest a lot of time watching and learning all about them," Paul said. "We know all 300 of ours by name — and they know their names too."

The same goes for Alpacaly Ever After, a farm in the UK that offers unique first-hand experiences with the animals, such as private, guided walks around the stunning grounds of Lingholm Estate.

Emma Smalley and Terry Barlow, who run Alpacaly Ever After together, care for a herd of over eighty alpacas. They lovingly refer to the herd as "The Woolly Army," and created a Twitter account for the army back in 2015, which now has nearly 10,500 followers.

Checkout little Stevie :) this was the first time he met the herd! look how many kisses he's getting. . You can now take him for a walk :)https://t.co/HKJg2WSWSE .#alpaca pic.twitter.com/Twmiz3XxTU

— The Woolly Army (@TheWoollyArmy) March 25, 2018

"We call them the 'Goonies of the alpaca world,'" Smalley said of The Woolly Army. "It doesn’t matter to us what they look like or if they have award winning fleece... they will always find a welcome home in our gang."

Smalley and Barlow said their main goal with social media is to let people around the world know how fascinating alpacas are.

"They all have incredibly individual personalities that are fascinating puzzles to work out if you spend the time and effort," Smalley said of the animals. "It’s lovely to have people invested in what we do and to feel a part of something bigger."

Why alpacas are worth a follow

For those of you who have yet to be convinced that alpacas can change your Twitter and Instagram feeds, I asked about the benefits of looking at alpacas through the social media lens. 

"The obvious answer is that they are either stunningly gorgeous or spectacularly goofy, it really is hard to take a bad photo of an alpaca," Smalley of Alpacaly Ever After said. "But they are also an animal that is still mysterious and exotic to us."

Image: screengrab via alpacalyeverafter / instagram

Another main perk of following a professional alpaca account, is that you'll get to see a far more intimate side to the animals. The photos and videos of them are being captured by people they trust, in environments that bring them comfort, whereas if you were to visit the animals in real life they might take some time to warm up to you before revealing their looser, more playful sides.

"Some of our alpacas have lots of fans, like Curio who is an orphan and currently being bottle fed," Paul Rippon of Barnacre Alpacas explained. "If we have a poorly alpaca we get lots of love and support from our followers."

Rippon said the farm receives an overwhelming number of positive messages on social media, and people take the time to thank them for helping improve their mental wellbeing or brighten up their days.

So next time you're searching for a safe haven on social media, go ahead and give the alpacas a chance.

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