#but i'm wondering because the answer is probably yes because i've seen humanizations of them as complete twinks

[slaaverin]

Okay why are Jikookers literally elder people? 30 is not old at all, but I've seen children and teens in other shipper fandoms, not this one ...what brings y'all together like this 😂

But happy birthday love 😘 may you grow to see your generations 😊

Ahhh thank you so much for the birthday wishes anon 💜

What you're saying makes me wonder.

I have a jikooker friend who is 70+ 😂

But I believe some jikookers with greater levels of maturity can truly understand jikook's bond on a deep level, having been themselves in serious relationships and having more experience with relationships in general. So that's probably why.

It is true that tkkers are usually way younger and more immature 🧐 you're raising an interesting point!

People with some years behind them can understand better the human behaviour. Usually when you are in your teen years it is very common to experience toxic behaviours because young people don't know how to put up personal boundaries yet and if they weren't raised with a lot of love, well they lack self-love as well.

So in fact they have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like, that's why we see so many toxic narratives about the members and their relationships.

Of course I'm talking generalities I am well aware some older fans are also involved with other ships and fuel those narratives. But it's usually fans who even in their adult lives continue to have distorted perceptions of what is good and healthy.

My view on this might be quite radical but nobody in their right mind could be a serious taekooker. Nobody.

Their ship is based entirely on falshood and toxicity. When you are not distorted in your views it is impossible to get behind a ship such as this. (Except if its for just fun I guess)

I think for a balanced adult the only relationship that makes the most sense is jikook. Because they are themselves balanced and healthy and there is absolutely nothing toxic about them.

But not everyone grows in the same way and not everyone can have a balanced point of view and have enough experience to understand the subtleties of human exchange.

That's why there are so many disparities. And that's why I think a lot of jikooker are mostly older.

Jikookers do not have the shiny object syndrom. We do not think jikook are in a relationship because "it's hot" or "it would be cool".

We simply observe them and drew conclusions from our own personal experiences that made us go "Ok I see what this is" and that's it, literally.

That's why I think sometimes we should not take what tkkers do so seriously because some of them are really young and yes sometimes children. They don't even understand what they are doing and what they are believing in.

But it's true jikook draw people with certain levels of maturity, and I think it's quite indispensable to truly understand the depth of their relationship. Nothing beats personal experiences to compare lol

(Again it is all general statements and I know there are exceptions)

I answered quickly but I hope you see now why some jikookers might be older.

Thanks again and take care 💜

[bixels]

Genuine, genuine question. Does anyone consider Flim and Flam sexymen.

[theveryconfusedartistsart-blog]

Before I begin, I...uhhh...have not seen or played chapter 2 of Deltarune, and I don't know when I will be doing that. (I have my reasons.)

However, I still really want to share my thoughts about something that I've been thinking about.. . and I wonder if I'm not the only one.

Okay, so I know all about the theory that Kris (and Frisk) are being possessed and controlled by the red soul, or a ghost (Chara) or the player, I know these theories are very widely accepted.

However, have you thought about Flowey? He has the same power of Determination and ability to manipulate time, and perhaps Sans even has the ability too.

However, Flowey and Sans aren't being controlled by anyone, hell, Flowey doesn't even have a soul to control him, he controls himself.

Have you also thought about the six souls in Undertale that were captured? What makes those souls different from the red one? Were they being controlled too? Or were they just regular human souls? Is the red soul a regular human soul?

It made me think about Kris, are they truly being controlled by 'the player'? Or perhaps even another ghost? I'm fully aware that all the signs point to 'YES'.

But just stop, forget the theories for a second, and think for a moment, Kris is clearly a troubled and depressed kid, their best friend and brother have left them alone with their divorced parents, plus they have to go to school on top of that!

They're clearly dealing with heavy emotions, it probably makes it very hard to sleep and that stupid soul isn't helping! It's what makes them feel their emotions!

....and if Kris has the power of Determination, they're likely Determined enough to pull their soul from their body, detaching themselves from their feelings and forcibly making themselves empty (like Flowey) and locking it in a cage, freeing themselves from their emotions just so they can get restful sleep.

Another thing to think about, that birdcage was there before the game began, it could be a sign that Kris had been doing this for a while before we (the player or ghost) even got there, they could have done this at any point, but no, they waited right before bed.

It makes me wonder if Chara ever attempted to physically free themselves from their emotions too, or is this a trick only Kris can do?

I'm only bringing this theory up because the whole player possession thing has never fully sat well with me, especially after Undertale when Flowey talks to 'us'? as Chara, and then in Genocide, Chara talks to...who? The player? Frisk???? who's truly in control??? It's so vague.

There's so many mysteries within these games, and just as many theories, I'm not trying to disprove any or say the widely accepted one is wrong, I'm just offering my thoughts and widening our options.

In the end, I'm guessing the answers will all come when the chapters are all released.

[midnightmah07]

why you like ruggie sm? (Not to be rude but it actually got me interested to ask about my moots favs)

I think I answered this like once bc one person asked me that in the past but YOU KNOW WHAT???? WHO AM I TO DENY ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO RAMBLE ABOUT MY BELOVED RUGGIE<3333 (also dw I didn't take it as it being rude, sometimes we wonder why people like certain characters sm and that's understandable especially if you yourself can't feel the same way about the character lmao)

This might be long so my answer will be under the cut!

I have like. So many reasons so I need to go onto topics. Ok, first!!! Let's take the more superficial stuff outta the way

Sometimes I start liking certain characters because I find them beautiful, for Ruggie it was because I found him cute lol I remember until today the day I read his Ceremonial Robes for the first time and I saw his vignette and my brain stopped functioning bc I thought he was the cutest thing I've ever seen and I couldn't stop thinking of how cute he was and how badly I wanted to bite his cheeks—

Ok, now that the superficial stuff is outta the way, let's start why I actually like Ruggie and why his personality captivates me!! Some of these stuff will relate to me as a person which is why I grew so fond of Ruggie

Ruggie is someone who's very persistent and very determined, I remember reading book 2 for the first time and while I didn't like him yet I felt so bad for him, but I was so admired by how he kept going and trying; in the manga this is particularly well depicted!! The way he lays on the ground in pain as Leona urges him to give up but he says NO because Ruggie will never give up on achieving his dream of having a more stable and secure life😭😭😭😭 it breaks my heart and it makes me admire him as an individual. Yes, we have characters who are also determined and striving to do their best, but none of them come close to how Ruggie is, at least not in my view. I think the fact that Ruggie had such a tragic life is why I admire him so much, he could've given up so easily, just lived through the motions and hated the world for his situation, but Ruggie still pushed through, he's still there doing his best and this is one of his biggest qualities, I'll never shut up about it💙

As someone who's very family oriented and dreams of building my own family because mine kinda. Ya know (children of divorce where y'all at). Because of that I really relate to how family oriented Ruggie seems to be and how he loves his community. I call Ruggie family oriented because you can clearly see that grandma Bucchi is his priority, he doesn't only work for himself but for her as well, he doesn't want to give only himself a good future but grandma Bucchi as well :( his way of dealing with children and taking care of them also warms my heart, it makes me super happy to know he cares and loves the children in his neighborhood, and I love seeing how he deal with them in general... His Portfest vignette is one of my favorites, because it's him calming a crying child and helping them find their parent 🥹💙

I think it also goes without saying that as a human I love cheering for the underdog, the person who came from nothing but was able to succeed... The fact that Ruggie had absolutely every odd against him (he's an orphan, and we all know how it's hard for children to grow up and succeed without parents, especially without a father figure; he's poor, meaning he has no connections and resources to invest on himself; heck, he didn't even go to school before NRC😭). I adore Ruggie's resilience, I'm sure he felt lost, hurt and sometimes he might've wanted to give up, but the fact that he's still there trying to grow... I admire him a lot for that💙

Anyways this was a lot😭 if I think about this more I can probably figure out even more reasons as to why I like him but rn these are what I can immediately think of.... In short, I love Ruggie and I want him to achieve all his dreams and goals, live a happy life with a lot of money, food and love😊💙

[pinkfadespirit]

Hey there and happy Friday! Would you fancy "You never should have left" for maybe (past?) Nanders? 👀

Thank you for the prompt! I started this one on the night I got it as a direct follow on from another prompt and now it's been a while and I can't remember how I intended to get from where I started to an actual answer to the prompt. (Though I think maybe the reason I stopped was because I didn't know then, either.)

I've got an idea for another prompt now, though, so I'm just going to post this one as it is, even though it's not technically finished.

For @dadrunkwriting

Nathaniel found somewhere private for them to talk, a quiet room where there was a fire going and reasonably comfortable chairs. He had the feeling this was going to take a while after all. He'd grabbed a bottle of wine on the way in, feeling certain he was going to need it for the conversation he was about to have.

The last time he'd seen Anders, he hadn't seemed like himself. He'd made jokes to ease the tension (and after running into so much trouble in the Deep Roads that the Champion of Kirkwall herself had needed to come to his rescue, there had definitely been a lot of tension) but there had been something off about it all the same. Now, Nathaniel was starting to think he understood what that might be. It wasn't just Justice, or this cause they'd taken upon themselves. It was how it weighed on them. Even then he'd known what he would have to do.

They'd parted without any real chance to catch up and Nathaniel had found himself wondering if he'd ever see him again.

He might not have, if not for the Commander. She was the one who insisted that he was still a Warden. The crimes of one's past were not important. He was one of them, still.

But Nathaniel wasn't sure Anders saw it that way.

Still, he'd allowed himself to be brought back here. Maybe they could figure out the rest.

They took their seats by the fire.  Nathaniel filled two goblets with the wine and pushed one across to Anders. He hesitated before picking it up, then cautiously took a sip.

"It's not the best, I know," Nathaniel said apologetically.

"Still, probably better than anything you'd get at the Hanged Man," Anders replied. "Not that I did much drinking there. Justice never approved. But... things haven't quite been the same since Kirkwall."

"Between you and Justice?"

Anders nodded. "He feels calmer somehow. Quieter."

"Is that... good? That he's quieter, I mean?"

"When all he could think about before was the suffering of the mages we hadn't yet managed to help, it's something of a relief. No matter what we accomplished, it always felt like we should be doing more. It was..."

"Unsustainable?"

"Probably, yes."

Nathaniel frowned. He hadn't thought about it like that. How it might be to combine a spirit's level of focus with the limits of a human mind. No wonder Anders looked so tired.

"It feels different now, though. Ever since we left. It makes me wonder if it was just Kirkwall. Sometimes it felt like... like the entire city was drenched in suffering. Endless. Inescapable. Like whatever remains of all the evil that was ever carried out there was crying out from the Fade. And Justice is much too well attuned to that sort of thing. I doubt it would ever let him rest. But now I couldn't go back if I wanted to."

"And now he's relieved?"

"Maybe."

"You don't know?"

"We don't really talk the way we used to. In a lot of ways, I miss him."

"So do I," murmured Nathaniel without thinking.

When Anders smirked at him a moment later, he looked almost like his old self.

[seth-whumps]

Sir. Ma'am. Uhh, sa'am. I really love your ocs, especially Morrigan, so I wanted to ask if it would be possible for them to get a computer virus.

I know they're very human-adjacent, so if they CAN get viruses, I'm wondering if it would present itself like a regular sickness? Fever, dizziness, increased heart rate, at cetera. Or would it do things like screw up their perception by making it impossible to tell who their friends are versus their enemies?

And most importantly: Would it make their voice crackle and mix with static?

So far we've mostly just seen them being hurt by outside forces, like the hypothermia and the internal bleeding. The closest thing I can think of to a "virus" that's happened would be the cuddle glitch. So I've been really intrigued by the idea of something internal harming them.

Asking because I've become utterly obsessed with Morri as a whumpee. Very excited for future content!!

Hello hello hello! This made me so happy to see. I'm so pleased you love them as much as I do :)

Okay, so I did one of my really super long incredibly complicated reference pieces about this. I apologize if that's not what you're looking for, so I'll give you the short answers too: yes, yes and yes!

unspeakably long answer? take a look under the cut :)

Alright. So. Let's talk.

As noted, Morrigan is not immune to malfunctions, whether that be human responses to allergens or personalized attacks. We've already talked about the organic sides of things, so let's get into computerized threats.

First, Morrigan is not totally immune to viruses. They have a natural firewall, but there are several systems that run in the background, where they can't directly affect anything--so some choices are made without their input. With enough talent, a handmade virus could easily infiltrate.

Things to note:

Creators of viruses or worms often use psychological or social engineering to make it more enticing for victims. Curious, as Morri's built to manipulate.

Motivations for viruses are often profit, sabotage, or political messages. Morrigan is useless for these, unless the goal is terrorism, or directly undercutting the company-not-yet-named (CNYN) who created them.

Common effects of viruses include physical damage, loss of data, or leaked/stolen information. Lots of things that would greatly affect one Morrigan White.

Now, the meat of the issue. Or the ask, per se.

Virus makeup

Most often, there are three parts to a computer virus. The infection vector (the thing that infiltrates a computer), the payload (the harmful code that replicates itself, re:biological virus), and the trigger (an "if-then" code that tells the payload to execute).

The infection vector exploits and manipulates security weaknesses. I bring this up, though a mite obvious, because I love the image of Morrigan being at their weakest (physically, systematically, or emotionally) and getting kicked while they're down by a virus.

The payload can be any code. We've mentioned by passing how complex Morrigan is, just in general. So any target is dangerous--emotional vulnerabilities can mean friendly fire, physical breaks can mean imminent shutdown. And on top of that, all of the systems are intrinsically linked. One goes down? Expect several more to follow.

The trigger can be anything. I'm not going to say much more on that. But it can be anything at all.

Infiltration

A significant roadblock is finding a way to infiltrate Morrigan in the first place. Email and text scams are almost elementary to scan and avoid, and USB or cord connections are almost impossible, since they're actively mobile. So here are a few possibilities to think on:

1. Pure manipulation

Morrigan, as stated, is trained in manipulation, so to truly get ahead of them, you'd probably have to convince them of danger. Particularly danger of JJ's wellbeing. Or if you could give them an illusion, and state they have no other good choice, you might be able to accept it.

2. Manhandling/forcing

In the same way one can inject another with a syringe, if you were to get close enough to Morrigan, you might be able to physically inject a virus. However, that would be fairly noticeable--unless you're particularly adept at this kind of infiltration, or they're particularly incapacitated at the moment.

3. Technology improvements

With Morrigan being the birth of a futuristic technological era, there's no doubt engineers could come up with more creative ways to infiltrate. They are, in many ways, nearly human--how close could a computerized virus get to a biological one, in the future?

Cures and removals

Before we get into the really fun part, we should talk about how to heal Morrigan from a computer virus.

Depending on the payload or the target, any number of systems could be damaged. The first step is to neutralize the virus itself. Oftentimes, this means directly changing Morrigan's code--this can be done from their charging terminal, or by plugging in through a physical port, such as a USB. This is not comfortable for Morrigan, who has shown great discomfort in their code being altered, especially without permission.

If the virus has caused significant damage, a technical repair is required. This means finding a technician from CNYN and an excuse for their damage. Unhelpfully, if significantly impaired, Morrigan is far more likely to fail at lying when inflicted. So the best option is to power them down, give a sufficient defense to a CNYN technician, and collect them later.

All this to say, damage done to Morrigan is significantly dangerous not just to everyone else's wellbeing, but also to their cover--this is not just about how well they can fight. This is about whether or not they will be fully dismantled.

And finally for this section--certain viruses may be too quick to act. If so, finding a stalling agent or a countervirus to postpone shutdown is necessary. This will also need to be removed, and is far less comfortable coming out than going in.

Effects

At last. The part we were waiting for.

There are several significant effects of any computer virus, depending on what it's targeting. Here are several things I've considered:

Memory loss

Their memory banks may be significantly protected. However, loss of memory is a horrible thing to Morrigan, who uses past experience and analysis to affect their actions in the moment. Plus, they are not prone to feeling safe and secure at any given moment. Lack of understanding would contribute to hostility.

Behavioral changes

Possibly my favorite: Morrigan is highly specialized, but is first and foremost a weapon. Glitches in behavior can go from simply forgetting to blink to shooting an ally point blank. Personalized viruses can turn them into anything--killing machine or spy for the enemy.

Physical damage

If a line of code is even slightly out of place in the system it's run in, damage could be severe. Symptoms may include overheating, loss of material skin, unnerving eye colors, whistling, larynx malfunction (yes! static, crackling and mechanical whines when they attempt to speak), loss of motor function, and so on.

Infiltration and spying

Something interesting to note is Morrigan is an incredible piece of technology that absolutely must be kept secret. CNYN is not a benign company. Other groups, such as the Cages or vigilante systems underground, would take any chance at getting eyes on the inside. Morrigan, unfortunately, is a wonderful tool.

Here is a list of several symptoms that could occur directly as a result of a computer virus:

Hallucinations

Raspy, mechanical breathing

Overheating/heatstroke

Fevers

Lack of motor control

Lack of fine motor control

Lack of blinking, smiling, or facial expression

Unnerving eye colors (things that may be striking on a human face)

Speaking a different language

Inability to tell friend from foe

Lashing out

Sudden onset of extreme emotions

Whispering/shouting instead of speaking

Visible plating beneath their artifical skin

Memory loss or forgetting who/where they are

Loss of balance

Vertigo

Migraines

Nosebleeds (though they would bleed the thick substance that makes up their components instead of human blood)

Strange small behaviors (sighing at the wrong times, hiccuping)

Zoning out entirely

Shutdown (state of complete lack of function)

Stasis (state of low level sleep)

Uncontrollable worry

And many, many more

Increased heart rate

Crying

Notes

I'm so sorry if this isn't what you were looking for, but you greatly inspired me. I love fleshing out their technology and I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it.

Thank you for the ask!!!

[nothorses]

If you have the energy I’d like to hear you talk abt what you value in atheism as a belief system! (This is meant positively I’m just bad at Words, if the question puts you on the spot then no pressure to answer!)

Hello!! Yes!

I think "belief system" is maybe the wrong word- imo, a big part of what makes atheism what it is is that there isn't any kind of organization, there's no system, and the only "requirements" are... well, ultimately just that you call yourself an atheist.

I've seen a ton of different ways to define the word, and a ton of different people call themselves that- or something else- for different reasons; my point just being that it's a really diverse, really complex label, and ultimately I think it works about the same way queer identity labels do: you decide if it applies to you, and if you decide it does, then it does! There's nobody to tell you whether you're right or wrong about that; that's sort of the whole point.

I grew up atheist, and aside from a couple of edge cases I learned about in my 20's, my known extended family is entirely non-religious. I say "three generations of atheists" because I recall one great-grandma who had some angel-related paraphernalia and I don't really remember her deal about it, and because "atheist" is a close enough shorthand; some of my family would probably rather describe themselves as "agnostic", but their reasoning, when I've asked, is largely that they think "atheist" means "anti-theist".

I also say that because my experience in learning about religion has been... kind of unique. I live in an area that is 60% non-religious; I think a good amount of that is that people who grew up with some Christian influence in their life decided not to pursue it themselves. Still, it's not super common to talk about religion here, and religious influences- while they still very much exist- aren't really named for what they are.

What that means is, essentially, that I absorbed a lot of values and ideas as a kind that came completely detached from any reasoning. And I'm a painfully introspective (read: anxious) person; I spent a lot of time reflecting on those values from a very young age, and I was encouraged to do so, in many ways, by the adults around me.

I distinctly remember being about 10 years old, in a car with my mom and stepdad, and wondering about why people Did Good Things. Was it selfish- because it made them feel good? What motivation was there to be charitable and generous, if not for some kind of reward? I knew I wanted to do good, and I knew that part of that was internal satisfaction, but that didn't feel right as an answer. I decided later that this was a function of human nature, to help each other- and even if it was an evolutionary community-building thing, doing good was also a way of building a happy, sustainable life with full and healthy relationships.

I have never understood the "what is the purpose of life?" question- it's been pretty obvious to me from a young age that there isn't one, and there doesn't need to be. We weren't "put on the planet" in the first place. We're here because of a beautiful string of semi-random events, and we get to decide what to do with the opportunities and hardships that comes with.

When I was 12, I decided, on a walk home from school, that my "goal" in life was going to be to be the best person I possibly could. I have spent a lot of time since then working out what that really means; along the way, I realized that in order to do this, I also needed to be a happy person. I needed to heal and grow and live a sustainable life, and I needed to value myself and my inherent worth.

This is a lot of rambling to say, essentially: I think atheism means different things to different people, but I think the idea that it's some kind of void of experience and value is plainly ignorant and genuinely damaging.

This is just a snapshot of the ways in which I currently recognize atheism to have influenced my life, and there's a lot more I could touch on as well! But the idea that we choose what's important is core to a lot of atheism, I think; and there is a genuinely beautiful value system that follows from this.

I choose what's important to me, and others choose the same for themselves. I choose my goals and "purpose", and others do the same for themselves. In a lot of ways, that heterogeneity is part of what makes communities work: understanding and appreciating differences in value systems and worldviews means including more and more of what each individual has to offer.

None of this is exclusive or universal to atheism (and again, the label itself is pretty broad depending on who you talk to) but it's an example of the ideas that can follow from certain questions pretty inherent to the idea that there isn't a higher power.

[paytato435]

Chapter 14 - Off Beat

Mama Knows Best

“Why did you do that?” Sunshine growled after Casey had left the office. Completely dejected, shaken, and broken, Sunshine wasn't even sure he'd noticed she was there.

She should have said something, but she'd never seen Big Mama so scary before. She was strange for sure, and she knew the woman was keeping things from her, but this was too much.

He had been trying to help his brothers, and she destroyed his cloaking brooch for that?

It was wrong.

She also wondered why he had been disguised in the first place, but it was clear that what Mama did was just another way to torment him.

Mama drummed her fingers on her desk thoughtfully. “You don't really know someone until you hurt them,” she sighed. She turned to look at Sunshine. “It's my job to make sure everyone here knows their place, too. Love is ugly and hard.”

“You love him?” Sunshine asked, confused and concerned.

Mama rolled her eyes. “I'm saying this for you, foozle. I see how you get on.”

Sunshine felt her cheeks warm. “What?! That's not…” she didn't know what to say, honestly, but it didn't matter because Mama interupted her with her laughter.

“So sweet! I love it,” the woman sighed, resting her head in her hands. “I wish I could feel so young and reckless again.”

“Please stop being so mean to him,” Sunshine pressed again. “He was trying to help his family-”

“At the expense of this one!” Mama snapped. “We deserve better than that. You deserve better than that,” she emphasized. “Loyalty is everything. I can't afford to have anyone's attention divided.”

Sunshine wasn't sure what to say to that, so she nodded nervously.

Mama gave the musk a thoughtful look. “He's a little misguided, if you hadn't noticed. Thinking he can play around with humans.”

“What do you mean?” Sunshine asked, confused.

“They're dangerous!” Mama explained. “They've hunted yokai for thousands of years! There is a reason we stay hidden from them. Do you not remember?”

Sunshine shook her head.

“They're dangerous, murderous creatures. His brothers and their… father too. They want to become friends with humans. It's a foolish sympathy. They're ungrateful creatures, all of them!”

“Then why keep Casey around? He's not happy here anyway.”

Mama winked. “He's not like the others. I know you probably don't remember, but I have to ask, do you remember the Krang attack a few weeks ago?”

Sunshine shook her head. Mama smiled wickedly.

“That boy's from a future where everything died because of what his brothers did, and they were hunted mercilessly by the Krang. Another species of hateful, murderous people. They're not so different from humans.”

“His family was killed by them?”

Mama nodded. “Obliterated. I saw it the first moment I laid eyes on him. He's a survivor. But his family is holding him back.”

“How?”

“It's confusing,” Mana admitted, tilting her head to one side and back. “And what I'd like to ask him about when he's better. For now though, he needs discipline.”

“I think he needs more than that,” Sunshine noticed. “He needs…”

“A friend?” Mama winked. “Family? Something more?”

“Stop it!” Sunshine flustered. “I meant he needs to be left alone!”

The yokai cackled again. “You're probably right, foozle. But what about you? What do you need?”

Sunshine bit her lip. It seemed Mama wanted her to say something, but she was unsure what.

“You can't carry the sword Synth gave you,” Mana reminded her.

“Oh! Yeah, that…”

“It's not a problem, musky moodle. It's been on my mind for a while, and I've come to the same conclusion: it doesn't suit you.”

Sunshine shook her head.

“You've been watching those Lou Jitsu movies I sent to your room right? And the training videos?”

Sunshine nodded.

“Good girl! I have one in mind I want you to watch this evening. The Rhythm of 10 Strings. Can you do that?”

“Yes Mama,” Sunshine answered with a small smile. She loved watching Lou Jitsu movies.

“I think it’s one rather underappreciated, but it’s what got me to fall in love with that man in the first place.”

“With Lou Jitsu?” Sunshine asked.

Big Mama nodded wistfully. “Don't be deceived, moodle; this life is not like the movies.”

Off Beat

The first thing Casey thought when he woke up was how much everything fucking sucked.

The room, despite being more dark and intimidating than any bedroom ever should be, was losing the battle against the bright shining lights from the arena outside.

And that shit kept Casey rolled over and hidden under his covers for far longer than he should have. You know when you sleep in for too long and then you just feel sluggish for what feels like the rest of the day? Yeah, that was him.

But let's not forget the excruciating pain from his concussion, right? That light had sent daggers right through his eyes when he first woke up, and now, even though he was turned away, he could hear the splintering cry of steel on steel in the arena below him, nevermind the deafening cheers of Mama's numerous patrons. It was like they were all screaming at him to get up, only to wail even louder if he dared move. When he moved the world sloshed around him like water in a fish bowl. Closing his eyes wasn't much better, it was as if he were constantly spinning.

But the worst part was he had no idea what the fuck he was doing here. Sure he figured this was a hotel room in the Nexus, but he had no idea how he got here. What day was it? What time was it? Had he fallen asleep after that girl had bandaged him up?

He knew he had to get up at some point. He kinda hoped that one girl would find him so he wouldn’t have to do it himself. Another part of him didn't want her to see him so fucked up. Why was he in so much pain by the way? What was her name?

He curled himself up as tightly as possible, and let his mind wander. He wished he was home. Hell, he wished he was at school. In his mind’s eye, he could see Angel scowling at him and calling him out for showing up late to practice. He’d certainly rather be yelled at by her than his fucking head. Or maybe things could just be quiet?

Somebody would get him eventually, surely.

…

….

Finally, eventually came.

And it wasn't who he thought it would be.

He didn't even knock when he entered. Just the sound of the door squeaking open made Casey want to pass out. Well, he wanted that anyway; he'd been lying on his side for ages hoping he'd fall asleep.

The yokai grumbled something but Casey didn't know what it was. It didn't make any sense. The voice and demeanor was familiar, but guess what? Casey wasn't going to try and figure that out. He just wanted everything to stop.

“Hey!” the yokai snarled to get his attention. The voice boomed through Casey's head like a gunshot.

Casey screamed into the sheets. The sound fucking hurt. It fucking hurt it fucking hurt why why please stop stop fuck fuck fuck-

And then there was pressure against his head. It was completely involuntary but he screamed again, and then he was screaming because he was screaming. The hand didn't let go- it stayed there, despite his thrashing.

Let me go let me go let me go “LET ME FUCKING GO.”

He was sitting upright, and for a dazzling moment, the room was heaven bright- and then softened. He had pushed himself up, his weight anchored by his hands clenched tightly around loose sheets. Had he pulled them off?

He looked around the room and found the source of his torment; Leatherhead was standing a foot away from the edge of the bed, his arms crossed and his snout looking down at Casey with measured frustration.

“What the hell was that?” Casey sputtered.

“You're fixed. Go downstairs.”

“I'm what?”

“Your concussion is gone.”

“I have a concussion?” he sputtered dumbly.

The alligator made an irritated grumble.

“Stinkpot's waiting for you.”

“Oh, shit.”

“If I have to hear her complain about you anymore I'm killing you both,” the alligator sneered before moving toward the door.

“Gee, thanks.”

The yokai answered by slamming the door so hard it shattered and he took the door handle with him.

Yikes.

But at least the sound of the slamming didn't hurt as bad. What the actual fuck, how was he suddenly just… ok again?

His brain was still a broken record; what the fuck was going on?!?!?

Figuring the only way to find out was to actually meet up with that girl that he couldn't believe he'd forgotten was Sunshine, he pushed himself up and onto his feet.

The world still kinda swayed when he stood upright; probably because he had overslept, but also because he had once again forgotten he was a turtle. He needed to stop doing that. He was sick of the back and forth.

His chest clenched as he remembered his cloaking brooch. Big Mama had destroyed it. Shit, how had that happened?

He stumbled to the door but paused when he realized he probably looked like shit. Glancing down, he wondered how long he'd been in his… wait, he was wearing his patrol gear. His knee pads were slid down to his ankles, his shorts were wrinkled and so was his jersey. He looked back at the bed and saw he'd torn off his hoodie sometime while he was out. His hair was a fucking mess.

What was he doing before?

Fuck it, he needed a shower. Surely Sunshine could wait a few minutes more.

That turned out to be the best decision ever. God, just when he thought he was getting used to nice things like hot water, they turned around and made him cry again. Ok, just a little bit. He wasn't actually sure he was crying because he was already wet but you get the idea.

Fuck he was a mess.

When he pulled back the shower curtain, a flash of movement caught his eye from the wall across from him. Partial, incomplete.

Half of his face looked back through a shattered window. When had that broken?

Shards of broken glass glittered along the wall and in the sink. Looking down, he noticed it was a marvel he hadn't sliced his feet on any of the pieces scattered on the floor.

He must have been in a really bad mood to have done that. At least he knew why. He pulled the rest of the glass off at his eye level and threw it in the trash; the problem was fixed.

Onto the next.

The bad news was that Big Mama didn't seem to care for his preferred style of dress, as the wardrobe by his bed was full of jeans. How was he supposed to move in those, huh?

Whatever, it was better than putting on dirty clothes. He threw on a sleeveless hoodie too and called it good enough.

Casey pulled away what was left of his door and stepped out into the hallway. To his surprise, Sunshine was already outside waiting for him, leaning against a door opposite him. It was the door to her room; they shared the same floor.

“Hey!” she smiled warmly.

“Hi. How… how long have you been there?”

She pursed her lips in thought. “Not sure. Twenty minutes? Since Leatherhead came up.” her eyes darted away. “I'm sorry; I asked for his help. That uh, sounded pretty bad in there.”

She had called him?

“Why?”

Her eyes snapped back to meet his. “Because when I tried to get you up you couldn't stop screaming.”

What?

“I didn't do that-”

“You almost attacked me. So I let you sleep a while longer.”

He didn't remember any of that.

“What… what time is it?” He asked, running his hands through his hair, embarrassed.

“It's almost 2pm.”

Casey bit his tongue. “What day?” he mumbled.

“Tuesday.”

Tuesday?!

“You've been in and out of it since Saturday night,” she explained. “Do you… not remember?”

He shook his head.

Casey felt his cheeks burn as she looked him over, as if she could decipher everything wrong with him with her eyes alone.

“Well, let's get breakfast first, I guess,” she decided instead, shrugging. “We can talk about it then.”

He nodded lamely. ‘I'm sorry.’

“Don't worry about it,” she smiled again, before turning and waving at him to follow. “It's been a lot, take your time.”

—

Sunshine seemed to be doing her best to keep herself from skipping down the hall as she chirped about her favorite places to eat in the Nexus. If you could believe it, Big Mama had four different restaurants, and, depending on how well her little playthings behaved, they could wander around and eat wherever. In the elevator, she decided they were going to the diner with an all day breakfast. When they stepped into the dining area, the first thing Casey noticed was the polished white floor that perfectly reflected his face back at him. Sunshine dragged him to a table, and he slowly took in the rest of the bright environment. Everything worth noticing was retro-pink or so glossy or chrome it made Casey want to poke his eyes out. Thankfully, Sunshine passed him a menu to pretend to care about instead.

Casey had a sneaking suspicion that Sunshine was having breakfast for the second time today not for his sake, but for hers. He really didn't care what he ate, but Sunshine jumped at the opportunity to order waffles again, this time with four different flavors of syrup to pour over top.

“Do you eat anything else?” Casey asked her curiously as she spread whipped topping between every little square she could manage.

Sunshine squinted her eyes at him as if it were a challenge. “No,” she answered with a straight face before stuffing an oversized bit into her mouth. She immediately choked, and Casey wondered why she even bothered to lie to him in the first place. When she recovered, she mumbled “got a problem?”

“I guess not,” he shrugged as he looked down at his own plate. He had the plainest looking cheese omelet and hash browns. Sugar was the last thing he wanted right now. “Sorry.”

She didn’t say anything, and when he glanced up, she didn’t seem to have given his question or apology any thought at all. Her head bobbed from side to side as she seemed to be humming something to herself. When she caught him watching her, she just winked and stabbed another waffle.

“How are you so… happy?” he asked, dumbfounded.

“Uh… vecause you’re here?” she asked through a mouthful of fried dough.

“What?”

Sunshine rolled her eyes. She tried to say something else but caught herself talking with her mouth full again, and cut herself off. “You’ve been completely out of it, I guess I’m just happy you’re back again.”

“What happened?” he wondered.

Sunshine tapped her plate nervously. “You got in big trouble with Mama,” she said quietly.

She set her fork down and told him everything that had happened since he left her Friday night. She didn’t have all the details, but some things came back as she described them.

Donnie strapped to the operating table, Aderman chasing after him and Leo, he vaguely remembered trying to get away, the feeling of dirt and grass dragging against his skin as she pulled him back to her.

On the ground. Over and over again.

“You came into Big Mama’s office with Synth afterwards,” Sunshine sighed, her cheek pinned to her palm. “I don’t think you saw me there. Mama was really upset with you.”

Casey nodded. He remembered staring at the polished desk, and how she wanted him to look at her instead. He caught movement in his periphery, and noticed Sunshine had reached her hand across the table, palm up.

“I’m fine.”

“Bullshit.” She closed and opened her fingers. It wasn’t really an ask, was it?

He took her hand, and she squeezed his.

“You can go home Casey, you don’t have to put up with all this.”

He shook his head. He vaguely remembered his last conversation with Leo. How had he managed all that? He could feel tears threatening to emerge again, and he took a deep breath.

“I’m not leaving here without you,” he said finally. And he meant it. Fuck the cloaking brooch and his drama for the moment- he couldn’t let Sunshine stay here with Big Mama. It was convenient that he could hide here, sure, but as he thought about that evening more, he imagined Sunshine on his side of that desk. What would happen to her if she stayed here? There was no way she could be happy here.

He looked back up at her, and she gave him another reassuring smile. She said something else, but he wasn’t really listening. He just nodded in agreement.

He wanted a reason to smile like that.

—

“We're meeting up with the guys after this, I hope you're ready for that,” Sunshine smiled cheekily as she finished her food. Casey had finally started to make his way through his omelet, albeit much more slowly.

“The…” Casey hoped she wasn't telling him what he thought she was.

“Bebop and Rocksteady!” she confirmed to his chagrin.

“Are you guys like, friends now or something?” he grumbled. “They'll probably put me back in the hospital. Or more likely, in some dumpster to be eaten by rats.”

“Don't you live with a rat?” Sunshine raised her brow.

“My grandad would eat me if he had to…” Casey figured. “Provided I was already dead of course.” he figured. “Rats are survivors. It's an admirable quality.” He smiled darkly.

Sunshine nodded approvingly like that wasn't a terrible thing to hear while licking her plate clean.

“Okay but really, they're actually pretty nice guys. When we're not training we go up onto the terrace and Rocksteady wrestles Bebop until he lets him freestyle.”

“He asks permission to rap?”

Sunshine gave Casey a pained smile. “It's insufferable! He couldn't rhyme fat with cat if they were magnets on a fridge. He loses the beat all the time too. Bebop's a lot better at it, but Rocksteady can't keep time and it drives the other mad.” She rolled her eyes. “It usually ends up in them fighting again.”

“And you're looking forward to this?”

“Well yeah!” she nearly jumped out of her seat. “It’s funny! It passes the time, anyway.”

“It sounds like it's going to be pretty one-sided if you said Bebop's better,” Casey pointed out.

“That's honestly part of the fun,” Sunshine smirked, folding her napkin on the table. “Rocksteady never gives up, and you know what they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day.”

“So is that where we're going after this?” Casey asked.

“No, we have weights first,” Sunshine groaned. “Want to join us?”

“What else am I going to do?” Casey shrugged.

If Casey knew what he was getting into, he probably would have tried harder to find something else to do.

–

“Shoot Sunnyside, I didn't think he'd actually come!” Bebop snorted as soon as Casey stepped into the weight room. The large mutant was spotting his partner on an oversized bench press. Casey immediately tensed, and not being able to see the warthog's eyes behind his glasses didn't help either. He wasn't mad right? Sunshine assured him they weren't…

Sunshine rolled her eyes. “I told you he would!”

Bebop snorted again. “An’ he ain’t gonna spaz out on us again?”

Casey frowned. He didn’t like where this was going. “Spaz out? What got you there in the first place?” Casey snarled. Sunshine nudged him in warning.

“Hey, hey, guys, that’s… uh, not why we're here,” Sunshine reminded them, stepping between the two parties. Sunshine gave Casey a no-nonsense look. “Rocksteady already apologized. We’re good.”

Casey’s eyes slid over to the rhinoceros, who was now racking his bar. The giant pulled himself upright, and his beady eyes settled on Casey’s face.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

“I mean you look smaller than you should be. The other one’s taking much better care of himself.”

“The other one?” What was he on about?

“The red one,” Bebop snorted. “What’d you say his name was, Sunshine?”

“Raphael,” she answered nervously, giving Casey a quick look before darting her eyes away.

“You’ve seen him?” Casey asked, feeling a lump rise in his throat. “And you told them about him?” Casey turned to Sunshine.

“He came looking for us, actually!” Bebop smiled. “He’s a real one. Wanted to make sure we were doin’ okay.”

“Blue one was annoying tho,” Rocksteady mumbled. “Kept askin’ about you.”

“Did they see you?” Casey asked Sunshine nervously.

“No! I wasn’t there,” Sunshine assured him. “I was uh, out.”

Casey wanted to know what that meant, but he was more concerned about his brothers. “What… what did you tell them?” Casey asked Bebop.

“We didn’t tell them shit!” Bebop guffawed. “They were so pissed. But Sunshine said we shouldn’t say nothin’ so we just act like we never heard of ya.”

“There’s no way they’d believe that, they know I’m here,” Casey reasoned. “But they left?”

“They were here yesterday,” Sunshine explained. “They had a lot of questions for Bebop, but when you got brought up Steady chased them away.”

“It was a load of nonsense,” the rhinoceros grunted, standing up to lower the weights for Bebop. “Some human world stuff, I didn’t know what they were on about.”

They were trying to get them to remember who they were before they were captured, Casey realized. How had they found Bebop and Rocksteady on their own? Casey couldn’t find a way to connect the dots.

Casey looked over to Bebop, who suddenly didn’t look so sure of himself. “What did they ask you?”

“Doesn’ matter,” the warthog grumbled, sitting at the bench. “It was dumb.”

Sunshine nodded in agreement. “Your brothers are nuts. Wanna warm up with me?” she pointed over to a more open space in the weight room. Casey nodded and followed her over. He wondered again why the hell Big Mama had only left him jeans to wear. He stretched uncomfortably, and noticed that at least Sunshine was appropriately dressed. Sneakers, joggers, and a tank top with loose, open sides. The way she moved, Casey noticed she looked very comfortable with the way she carried herself now. No longer thrown off by the balance of her shell, she’d come a long way in the days he’d been gone.

“You need to stop showin’ up late, snoozefest!” Rocksteady taunted her.

“It wasn’t me this time!” Sunshine defended. “Leatherhead didn’t come through until after lunch.”

“What an asshole,” Bebop grunted through his set. Rocksteady gave him the stink eye. “Mother… trucker can’t even look after his normal patients!”

“At least it worked,” Sunshine shrugged, stretching her arms. “Mama said concussions are so common here she had a team of spellcasters figure them out years ago. It’s one of her most profitable investments, or something.”

“Probably slowed down her turnover rate exponentially,” Bebop agreed.

“If she could have fixed my head sooner, why didn’t she?” Casey asked. “It’s been what, three days?”

Sunshine looked down at the floor. “She was going to, but uh, decided against it.”

“But she wants me to help you.”

Sunshine nodded. “I think she wanted to punish you more.”

“What changed?” he asked, confused.

Sunshine shook her head. “I don’t know, I just finally got Leatherhead to agree with me today.”

What a vindictive bitch.

They finished warming up, and Sunshine spun over to a more reasonably sized bench.

“Are you pressing too?” Casey asked as they lowered the bar together.

“Mhm!” She looked around the room for a moment. “Oh, our trainer's not in today. Bebop, how many sets are we doing today?”

“Six. He left a page on the mirror.”

Sunshine groaned and moved across the room to the sheet taped to the mirror he indicated. While she looked it over, Casey couldn't help but voice a question to Bebop that had been on his mind.

“You said it was Raph that approached you guys, not Leo?”

“Yeah, he was the one who saw us. We were at a… uh…”

“A what?”

The warthog was suddenly nervous. “It ain't nothin',” he grumbled. “He found us, is all.”

“You were at that magic show again weren't you?” Sunshine smiled as she returned with the paper and began picking up weights to load onto the bar.

“Really?” Bebop growled.

“Oh please, like he cares,” Sunshine figured. “He's just worried about his brothers.”

“You know, I see it in the red one, but I don't in the other,” Rocksteady piped up. “Is he like… the black sheep or somethin’?”

“See what?” Casey asked, confused.

“The family resemblance. Well, you're the same as the red one right? The spines and all…”

“Oh, that,” Casey realized, feeling a little silly for not catching on sooner. “Yeah, Raph and I are snapping turtles. Leo's a slider.”

“Slider? That describes him pretty well,” Sunshine smiled. “He looks shifty.”

Casey nodded in agreement.

“But you got the good genes, huh,” Rocksteady chuckled. “Wish I had half the hair Bebop's got.”

“A blessing and a curse,” Bebop grumbled. “What do you brush a boar's hair with, huh? Not a boar bristle brush, that's for sure!”

Rocksteady laughed at that, and they continued on with their work out as Sunshine started on her first set.

“You saw Leo?” Casey asked Sunshine when she finished her set.

‘I did,’ she signed unexpectedly. ‘I snuck out to see where those two were going,’ she gestured to Bebop and Rocksteady.

‘You snuck out? And she didn’t say anything?’

Sunshine shrugged. ‘Stir crazy I guess. But don’t worry, your brothers didn’t see me.’

‘I’m sure Leo was way more interested in the magic show,’ Casey smiled. ‘He loves that shit.’

‘I don’t get it, it’s not even real magic,’ Sunshine signed, frowning. ‘That’s why Bebop’s self conscious about it. Everyone else here makes fun of him for going.’

Because yokai don’t need to see a magic show. Poor guy.

“Who’s doing a magic show in the Hidden City anyway?” he wondered out loud.

“Hypno!” Rocksteady announced excitedly. “He’s amazin’!”

Casey rolled his eyes. Why did he even ask?

“It can’t be the right audience for him though, right? He’d be better off performing for humans.”

“He’s got a promotion goin’ on with his husband, I think,” Sunshine explained. “He’s been everywhere… What was his name again?” The others shrugged. “Some new book coming out about mutants in the human world or something. I think it was called… Mutant Me!?” she threw up air quotes.

“That’s it!” Bebop snapped and pointed. “Yeah, Hypno wouldn’t stop talking about it. Come to think of it…” he whipped out a phone. “Yeah, I preordered it. I don’t even remember doing that,” he scratched his head in confusion. “I’m sure it’s gotta be interestin’ though.”

“You can barely read instructions on a soup can,” Rocksteady grumbled.

“You can’t read at all!” Bebop guffawed.

“Hey, that’s not my fault,” the larger mutant grumbled. “I have dysflexia.”

“Dyslexia,” Sunshine corrected.

“Yeah, that,” Rocksteady nodded.

“Sounds like Hypno was putting on more than a show,” Casey figured, smiling to himself.

“What do you mean?” Bebop asked sincerely, but Casey just shook his head. He hoped the poor guy hadn’t been scammed into buying anything else.

—

Rats Like Us

“...I’m back at the show

The only place I visit

Now I wish I’d share it sitting next to her

Eyes are on them

Wish they were on my face

But that’s not how it goes i don’t think you’d glance at me

A world beyond your flowers

I’m taller than this hotel

My heart’s breaking… yeah.”

Rocksteady rapped in front of his small captive audience on the terrace. The swishing of a huge willow tree big enough for all three of them to sit against came back into focus as Sunshine paused her rhythmic knocking against its wide roots.

Casey leaned back and admired the shuffling leaves above him. He hadn't expected something so heavy from the mutant. Awful and out of time, but still very sad.

“Jeez sandbag, you're opening with that?” Bebop asked, tipping his head. “I'm starting to think maybe this just ain't your thing. Maybe you should write a love song instead.”

“What? I can't do a love song, that's too squishy,” the rhinoceros deflated. “I'm just throwin’ it out there, it's not finished yet.”

“Do you really think that though, Rocksteady?” Sunshine piped up.

“Of course! I just gotta write it down-”

“No no, I meant about what you were saying; you don't think anyone can love you?”

Rocksteady sat down on the ground across from them.

“Dunno. A lot of the time it feels that way.”

“The Hidden City is so big though! There's so many different kinds of people, too. You'll find someone.”

“There's not a lotta gals my size, Sunshine,” he grumbled.

Casey suppressed a chuckle, but Bebop turned a sharp eye in his direction.

“What's so funny huh?”

“Ah! Nothing, nothing,” Casey tried to wave it away, but Bebop refused to let up the protective act.

“I'm sorry,” Casey apologized. “I was just reminded of something my mom said once.”

Seeing he suddenly had an audience, he instinctively went to reach for his hair, but caught himself and squeezed his fingers instead.

“She used to joke that if she ever got married it would be to a volcano.”

“That’s silly, you can’t marry a volcano,” Rocksteady huffed.

“I think it’s a metaphor, Steady,” Sunshine explained.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t though,” Casey smiled. “She was crazy. In a good way.”

“Sounds like trouble,” Bebop sniffed. “Think I got enough crazy in my life.”

“Thanks Bebop, I’m glad to hear you aren’t interested in my mom.”

“That’s not what I meant!” the warthog snapped, but Rocksteady burst out laughing.

“Then what did you mean?” Sunshine asked with a stupid grin on her face.

“I meant what I said,” Bebop huffed. “Think I’d date someone quiet.”

“To be seen and not heard?” Steady teased.

“Stop putting words in my mouth!” Bebop roared. “No,” he sank back against the tree. “They need to like, invite the quiet, ya know? There’s enough noise in my head for the both of us.”

“Aww,” Sunshine cooed. “And I thought Rocksteady was the romantic.”

“He is, have you seen him?” Bebop chuckled. “Last two nights we’d been out he kept starin’ at that flower stand down on 39th. ‘Hey Bebop, do you know flowers mean different things?’” Bebop rolled his eyes. “You think I know what different flowers mean?” He scoffed.

“They do! That’s what she said to me!” Rocksteady huffed. “And the colors of the flowers matter too. The lady at the shop was showin’ me them. There were some cute yellow ones, but she told me they symbolized disappointment.”

“That’s silly. Yellow flowers are cute!” Sunshine argued.

“I know right? She said the white and pink ones were more romantic, but really? Who ever looked at Sunshine and was disappointed?” Rocksteady smiled as the musk turtle giggled.

“I’m sure there are other yellow flowers you could give someone,” Casey suggested.

Rocksteady shrugged. “Sure, but they’re not as bright as those whaddaya-call-ums?” He looked over at Bebop.

“Carnations,” the warthog gave up.

“Yeah, those,” Rocksteady smiled dreamily.

Casey had never heard that flowers had meanings before, but then again, flowers weren’t something he had ever really paid attention to. He couldn’t see himself buying flowers for anyone. Not anyone who would appreciate them, anyway.

His heart sank. He could imagine quite a few people sending him yellow carnations. Most notably from Sunshine beside him. If she found out what he was keeping from her…

“What about you, Sunshine?” Bebop chuckled. “Do you believe in love?”

“Of course I do!” she answered immediately. Casey smiled again; there was no hesitation at all in her voice. “How could I not? My life is a musical; my true love will find me for sure.”

“You haven't even seen a musical!” Bebop roared with laughter.

“I must have!” Sunshine pouted. “If I didn't, how would I know what they are?”

“You can know a lot about things without really knowing them,” Rocksteady guessed.

“Yeah, go ahead and name one,” Bebop teased.

Sunshine looked absolutely flustered. “That’s not fair, you wouldn’t even recognize them anyway!”

“I would too!” Bebop challenged her.

“Liar! You couldn’t even name an artist but you go around telling Rocksteady what is and isn’t hip hop.”

“Brockhampton. And I’m not gatekeeping; Rocksteady can do whatever he wants.”

“Whatever,” Sunshine raised her hands, frustrated. “I'm not wrong though. Just because I can't remember it doesn't mean it didn't happen.”

Bebop shrugged. “Didn't say you were wrong, I just think you're naive.”

“Naive?” Sunshine's muscles tensed like she might jump up and fight him. “You… ugh!” she sank back into the trunk between them, defeated. “I don't even care anymore.”

“Hey now, I didn't mean to upset ya,” Bebop told her, sitting upright. “I'm sorry, I thought it was cute. You'va… you have a good heart.”

Sunshine rolled her eyes. “Thanks.”

There was a quiet pause, and then she pushed herself up onto her feet.

“I'm gonna go back to my room. I'm tired.” She stretched. “You guys won't fight while I'm gone will you?”

“What's that supposed to mean? We're decent people!” Rocksteady protested.

“I just wouldn't want you getting hurt again is all,” she giggled.

Casey flinched, and Sunshine's eyes darted over to him.

“Sorry. Too soon?”

‘A bit,’ he signed back, frowning.

‘Be nice,’ she winked, and then left.

What did she think he was going to do? He had just gotten over a concussion!

“You guys have your own little language there?” Rocksteady asked when Sunshine had gone back inside. “That's cute.”

“It's sign language dummy,” Bebop told him. “I'm kinda startin’ to think Mama wiped a few more than just your memories dude. I swear you weren't this stupid when we met.”

Casey looked over to Bebop, surprised. “You met Rocksteady before this? And you remember that?”

Bebop shook his hand uncommitted. “It's come an’ go,” he grumbled. “But yeah, I'm pretty sure we were friends before this. Been here longer than Sunshine, too. I think it's been what, two months, Steady?”

Rocksteady shrugged. “I leave the days up to you, guy.”

“He don't remember anythin',” Bebop pointed out. “I swear if I was like… his reluctant mom-partner before all this, I'm gonna throw up.”

“I don't think we were datin’, Bebop,” Rocksteady grumbled.

“Your evidence?”

“Your face,” Rocksteady guffawed.

Bebop frowned and looked back over to Casey. “I walked into that one.”

“You did,” Casey smiled. “Sounds like you guys have been friends a long time.”

Bebop nodded. “And we been thinkin’ a long time too…” he glanced over at Rocksteady for a moment. “-with varying degrees of success.”

“Hey!” Rocksteady snapped, but Bebop ignored him. “We wanna know what your deal is. Not gonna come after ya, but you smell different from the other mutants around here.”

“I smell?”

“Sure do!” Rocksteady chuckled. “That's not what he means though.”

“I didn't think so,” Casey snorted. “But yeah, I get you. You wanna know why Mama has me hanging out with Sunshine.”

“Not exactly,” Bebop narrowed his eyes. “I wanna know why you wanna spend time with her.”

Casey shrugged, wondering how much he should say. “It’s as easy as blackmail,” he answered cryptically.

Bebop frowned. “That seems to be a common theme around here. The other mutants stuck here are the same way, except us and Sunshine, of course.”

“She wants you to like her,” Casey pointed out. He bit his tongue. He probably shouldn't talk too much about Big Mama's intentions where she could easily overhear them.

“But Sunshine, do you like her?”

“Of course, she's cool,” Casey smiled. “It's hard not to.”

Rocksteady nodded sagely.

“But like, you aren't doin’ this for her,” Bebop figured.

“It's a bit of both. After your debut I'm hoping Big Mama lets me go.”

Bebop looked at Casey as if the snapper expected Jesus to come down and save him.

“You know that ain't gonna happen,” Bebop looked at him from over his shades. “I been around here a bit, I know who to talk to and what to put out there, ya hear me?”

“I'm not sure you do,” Casey frowned.

“I do,” the warthog huffed, and leaned down to be eye level with Casey.

“We aren't all friends here, kid. There's a weasel here, and they've got their own ideas about the debut. I need to know you're a rat like us.”

Casey blinked. What the hell was this guy on about?

“No one gets your riddles, Bebop,” Rocksteady grumbled, shaking his head. “He just wants to know if you're gonna help us out.”

“With what?”

Bebop sighed and raised his hand. Casey thought he looked like he was trying to find a boil on his hand or something, but to his surprise he started finger-spelling.

‘G-E-T-U-S-O-U-T.’

“Is Sunshine teaching you guys?”

“I didn't know you could do that too, Bebop!” Rocksteady beamed.

“I can't. Don't get too excited,” Bebop huffed.

Casey frowned. “I promised Sunshine I'd do that for her.”

Bebop gestured to himself and Rocksteady. They both wanted out too.

“I can only do so much. I think you're talking to the wrong guy.”

“You mean the weasel.”

Casey fingerspelled Synth's name, and Bebop nodded.

“I think you're mistaken. He's cool,” Casey explained.

‘W-E-A-S-E-L.’

“You don't know him like I do,” Casey shook his head. “I trust him.”

“Then he's eating well,” Bebop grunted. “You'll see.”

“See what?” But Bebop was getting to his feet.

“I see why Sunshine's worried about you,” he said as he moved to go back inside. “You should talk to her more. Wouldn't want to scare her away, right?”

“Excuse me?”

“He means you-”

“I heard him just fine!” Casey snapped, standing up, bristled. “You've got a lot of nerve,” he told Bebop.

Bebop opened the door to the interior and paused.

“More than most,” he smiled wickedly.

—

The Rhythm of 10 Strings

“Are humans dangerous, Synth?”

The bobcat's nose twitched at the question, but he was otherwise focused on his book keeping.

“Mama says they are, but Casey's the only other person who talks about them, and they don't sound so bad.”

Synth looked up and blinked slowly. “It's all perspective, probably. It's a very controversial topic.”

“What's your perspective, then?” Sunshine crossed her arms and leaned against his counter. She might have lied about going back to her bedroom.

“They’re not exceptionally dangerous, but there are too many of ‘em. Like most people, they’re prejudiced, and like to hurt others that are different from ‘em. And since they're up there and we're down here, you can imagine who's winnin’ here.”

“Winning? Are we fighting them?”

Synth made a note in his book and closed it. “Always have been. In our own ways. It's been quiet in recent years, but since mutants have gone public in New York, tensions are rising. Things could continue as they are… or we could face extinction.”

“Oh.”

“Mutants are in a unique situation, Sunshine. Most of them were humans once. If a war were to happen, who mutants decide to stand with could very well decide whether or not we continue to exist.”

“But mutants… aren't humans afraid of them too?”

“They are. But some of them, like Lou Jitsu, are also public heroes. He is especially dangerous. Influential, connections, and a sympathetic figure. Humans might let him fight for them now, but later? They'll turn on the mutants. They always do. Hell, they turn on each other. But for now, they'll use them against us. The mutant turtles are playing with fire by trying to be accepted by humans.”

“So you think Mama's right,” Sunshine surmised.

Synth shrugged. “She has an understanding.”

Sunshine frowned. It was not something she had expected him to say. Didn't he want her position? She thought he would be opposed to whatever she said.

But what he said sounded sensible, at least. There weren't any humans in the Hidden City for a reason. Casey used a disguise around humans for a reason.

But if he was scared of them, why did he and his brothers spend so much time around them?

The bobcat yokai stretched and yowled, blinking his bug eyes again and looking across the room.

“Your knife is ready by the way.”

“It is?!” Sunshine jumped, pulled from her thoughts.

The creature turned and picked up a black box from behind him that she hadn't noticed sitting there before.

“The weight will be much different from what you've seen with the kunai,” he explained, gently removing the lid.

Nestled inside was a sheathed black trench knife with a leather grip. But the handle…

“It's wrong,” Sunshine pointed out, gesturing to the rings on the grip.

“Pardon?”

“Ah! Sorry, I mean, it's beautiful!” Sunshine apologized, snapping her hand back and scratching her head. “But…”

“How many fingers do you have, Sunshine?” Synth blinked at her.

There were two rings on the handle grip. She looked down at her hands. Two and a thumb on each, as they'd always been. Yeah, that made sense.

“Sorry, I… I was confused,” she mumbled, pinching her fingers the way she'd seen Casey do several times before.

Synth picked up the knife and unsheathed it. The reflection of Sunshine's brown eyes watched her from the dark blade.

They were more familiar than her own face.

“Pretty?” Synth asked, turning the knife over.

“Yeah!” Sunshine agreed a little too loudly, but she took the blade when he offered it to her.

It fit her hand perfectly. And for some reason, that bothered her.

“You don't like it,” Synth accused.

“No, that's… that's not it at all!” Sunshine shook her head. “It's just, not what I expected.”

Synth narrowed his eyes. “If you don't love it we should try somethin’ else.”

Oh, now he was listening to her? After how many times she told him she didn't want a sword?

She gripped it tighter. “It's mine.”

“Then I'll not hear anymore complaints about it,” Synth sniffed. “Get out.”

“Ok. Sorry,” she apologized, sheathing the knife and replacing it into the box.

He chased her out the door, and she shuffled quietly back down the maintenance hall toward the elevators.

It was a really nice blade, Synth had worked very hard on it.

So why did she feel like she was about to cry?

She faced the corner of the small carriage as the elevator ascended, her forehead pressed against the wall in an effort to hide her face from the other staff stepping on with her.

When she got to her room, she locked the door and set the box onto her bed. She immediately flipped on the tv. The Rhythm of 10 Strings was already on and rewinded as she'd done the night before.

She started the movie and pulled her comforter around her shoulders. She forwarded past the ads and title screen, skipping to where Lou Jitsu made his first appearance.

He leapt out onto the screen and challenged the small-time baddies that would show off his character's strength.

But then she appears; the villainess of the movie. She is the daughter of the last movie's big baddie and she catches Lou Jitsu entirely off guard and captures him.

Tang Shen, she's too beautiful for this world. Sunshine could understand why Big Mama liked this movie so much. She starts out as the villain, but then she falls in love with Lou Jitsu and they work together to stop evil father's evil spirit from returning to the world of the living. Lou Jitsu becomes possessed, and it's Tang Shen who has to fight and defeat him to save the world.

A lot of people were upset that Tang Shen technically beat Lou Jitsu in a fight. The eighties were rough.

But Sunshine wasn't focused on the relationship between the action heroes, she was watching Tang Shen's weapons.

Tang Shen was small, fast, and dexterous. She flew across the screen like an acrobat, and she kept larger enemies at bay with her kunai. Her secret weapon though? She had an invisible wire she strung to the rings on the handles so she could manipulate the knives after she threw them. She'd also use it to trip or ensnare her opponents. Tang Shen of the Ten Strings. Ten knives. Sunshine wasn't sure if it made much sense, but she had one for each finger.

Ten fingers.

Sunshine clenched her hands again, and remembered the dream she had the morning after Casey came back; after she'd watched this movie for the first time. The first dream she'd remembered since she got here.

“Dad, are you okay?” This wasn't the first time she'd found him in his room, staring at his desk.

“It's gone,” he told her without looking up. “Someone must have taken it.”

“Taken what? What's gone?”

He pointed at the glass case behind him. It was empty. “Grandpa's knife. It's supposed to protect us.”

She took a step closer. “I'm sure we can find it,” she assured him. “I can help you look.”

He turned to face her, and Sunshine screamed. The trench knife was embedded in his right eye. Four rings on the handle.

Her dream self moved on its own. She reached out and gripped the knife in her left hand, her fingers curling around the handle perfectly. All five of them.

When she pulled the knife from his face, the last thing she remembered was him asking her:

“When are you coming home?”

Sunshine wiped the tears from her eyes. She didn't know. She didn't know anything anymore.

Prev. Masterpost Next

Notes: So sorry for the delay on the tumblr version y’all, the drawing for Sunshine took over 12 hours and I lost my pencil over the weekend so I couldn’t finish it. Love that it’s finally done. No more updates for a while tho. Need to figure out where we are going again, haha!

[misc-obeyme]

barb/mams 🤝 solo/mams

making us brainrot

YES I LOVE SEEING YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR PIANO !! YOUR ANSWER WAS SUPER HELPFUL FR!! something bout seeing someone passionate about something makes me happy, I got a lot of good info!!

i was afraid to venture into spotify without knowledge, so I'm def gonna be looking up those composers!! this is all for the cafe au akwkdjf

tbh i was thinking about having Solomon play at the cafe when he's not in school. Mammon will not let him into the kitchen after Solomon tried cooking breakfast, and mixed up the salt/sugar and set off the fire alarm. It might be he plays at the record store when it's open late?? i have yet to decide, i

now I'm thinking about fob and how patrick had a piano medley thing every night. I wonder if they actually transported the piano. That's crazy if they did!

I love the essays 😭 gimme all the essays. We can yap together !! Lmaoo. I'll take anything! I was just afraid of being a bother akwkdjf

I made it to lesson 75, and I haven't written much. I've been sleeping most of the trip. I think we're like two hours away? I'm determined to get the fic done by next week!!

- ✨ anon (tentatively coming off anon?!)

Honestly it's been such a curse lately like I can't stop thinking about it!!

AH! I'm glad that my ramblings were helpful! I would also recommend looking up classical playlists on Spotify - they have some good ones! I like the ones that are labeled as "dark academia" just because they have a lot of good classical pieces!

LOL oh nooo Solomon setting off the fire alarm, of course he got the salt and sugar confused! I suppose in a non-magic human au, he can't necessarily make magical food that could kill people? But I do suspect his food would continue to be generally inedible.

To be honest, the places I've most often seen a random piano being played by someone just for ambiance are department stores and fancy restaurants. BUT how often do we see independent cafes with live music? Like they get some local guitar guy to sit under some fairy lights and strum that acoustic, you know what I mean? Admittedly, a piano is more difficult. Unless they already have one in there all the time, a musician would only bring their own to a small space like that if it's a keyboard, probably. Something they can transport, you know? I imagine most cafes are too small for a grand piano, but they could easily fit an upright in one. Kinda like a bar with an upright piano in it, you know?

UH but I'm getting rambling over here. I've thought about this because I have Arrie play the piano in a cafe so I was like WHAT are the logistics of this? I decided to go with the idea that the cafe has its own piano and a fairly large space, too.

They might have! I think musicians that have a specific piano that they're known for playing probably do this the most. For instance, Liberace pretty famously used mirrored grand pianos. He had multiple, but he would still need to have had them transported if he wanted to use only one of his mirrored ones for a live performance. Here's a picture of one that's in a fancy hotel in London now.

That being said, I do think it's a pretty common practice if you've already got a whole road crew anyway. You would probably only need one person to know how to take the piano apart and tune it, then a handful of guys to carry it around, you know?

Well, here's another essay already! I just have many thoughts about this particular topic - anything with pianos is going to give you essays from me lol.

Oh yeahhh you can totally get through the story, I believe in you!! And of course, the story will flow the way it's meant to, that's what I always say! Sometimes you just gotta let it happen at its own pace~

I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to come off anon! 💕💕

[gierosajie]

Your art and concepts are so cool!!! I've rewatched your Istaroth and Venti animatic more times than I can count haha

I don't really have a specific question in mind but I'm curious about your Gathering of Cloudy Days au! I've seen the overview but I was wondering if there were maybe any scenes or random details you have in mind?

sbdjshgkg Glad you liked them! ^ ^

As for scenes or details- hoo boy do I have a bunch of them! There's already a few floating in the Gathering of Cloudy Days AU tag, but I'm gonna be listing some more ideas that have been floating in my head in particular

Nameless Bard could practically be considered the reason why Teyvat and humanity still exists because he went out of his way to befriend Venti despite the very real risk of getting killed for defending him. And Venti cared about him and their friends so deeply to the point that it even reached Istaroth's fragmented soul deep in the Abyss and it convinced her to give humanity another chance

Somehow the power of friendship was strong enough to stop the Abyss Order's brainwashing attempt because Venti just goes "my friend wouldn't want that for me :("

Just like Relius Clover, Dottore fell into the Abyss and it allowed him to make several breakthroughs much to the detriment of several people. Thankfully, unlike Relius Clover, he never gets laid.

Y'know how I said Venti originally had blue eyes, but because he has a fragment of Istaroth's soul, it gave him the green colors? Zhongli is probably the only one that knows about his original eye color besides the people that created Venti and Istaroth. Even Venti is unaware of it

Expanding on this scene, Venti and the Tsaritsa had been talking about what it feels like to step into the actual Abyss and the Tsaritsa was curious if her falling in there instead of Venti to look for answers would even do anything. And yes, they are standing over an entrance to the Abyss itself

Venti is fated to die, but it doesn't always happen the same. Half of his deaths involved trying to save Dvalin, but it's extremely rare for him to succeed and even then, something always happens later that ends up leading to another reset. The Traveller's interference manages to save both of them

The giant sword Venti uses has Istaroth's face sculpted on it (I don't have access to my computer where the original files are, so I can't remove Venti here, but it's just the same as her statue except with her veil also wrapping to the front)

Venti also has his bangs covering his left eye so it wouldn't be targeted as often and he'd have a back up in case someone tries to blind him again like in this drawing, which is directly after this scene I wrote

Speaking of that scene, I love how @\monarchamos called it Venti going into editor mode JSBXKSGXKF

[rawrtriesagain]

Heya, same anon who asked you for art advice! First, I wanted to thank you for answer my questions and listing all that wonderful advice! I just have some followups. It’s really okay to just draw without even knowing how to put down a line? Won’t that just lead to bad habits or not learning the right techniques? And you mentioned learning how to draw the human body, will the sites you listed help, or are there other resources I should look up (like maybe on Pinterest?). Again, thanks!

Combining your asks into one. Thank you for the kind words! I'll be happy to continue helping where I can :)

So in terms of bad habits and practices, this is where my advice will fall flat haha because I myself don't know what's a good practice actually - I just do what I want to do even if its the worst way to do something anyone's ever seen! For example, my way of doing 'lineart' (just cleaning up my sketches) is to draw big fat lines and then slowly carve it with an eraser into a line I deem good enough. Someone who could grab a pen and draw a perfect line on the fly would probably be like wtf watching me meticulously erase my one fat line lol

But!

If you really don't know how to put down a line at all yet, your best bet really is to just start. There's not really a trick or technique too it, its just practice. I think unless you were trying to go into art school or something and needed to work on a portfolio (btw again I am not the person to ask for that), there's not really a 'bad habit,' its just as long as you're having fun. In my earlier example about my 'lineart' I pretty much know I'm doing it in such a dumb way, but I actually find it really fun to carve away my line with an eraser haha. Yea I could put in the effort to actually learn how to do things properly, but I like wasting hours just nitpicking on this little thing just because its fun to me. (I do the same thing for coloring also. I'll scribble my entire screen and then use an eraser to start carving things out lmao)

Of course while you're drawing and you're doing something that makes you think "hey this actually sucks actually-" that's when you take the opportunity to grow and learn something new that you didn't know before. This is a digital art thing: but for the longest time I literally didn't know anything about layers and my thoughts were just "man there's got to be a better way to do this" which throws me into a rabbit hole of searching "how do I do This Thing"

If you're really into learning art techniques though it might be good to slowly go over all of the 'art fundamentals' especially when it comes to like shading and perspective. I looked at this blog post and it looks like it would help start you out with some links to other resources: link then of course you can look up the corresponding Youtube videos to see someone actually do the fundamental for real. I'd also honestly recommend like a beginners artist course in person if that's something affordable and accessible to you. It's been one of my dreams to go to like random art classes for fun haha but alas life happens so its just me and my tablet until I'm rich as hell I guess. I've never taken a digital course either, but if that's one of the ways you're able to learn that's great too and I'd recommend it!

Next on human body:

Sorry I should have talked about them more in depth at the time, but yes they will help but only if you're determined to use them correctly! So the sites I listed basically show a pose for 30 seconds, and the idea is you're supposed to just try to take in the shape/form of the pose and draw it without nitpicking over minor details. You can also set the timer higher if you need (I used to set it to at least 60 seconds just because I was just a slow ass artist). But basically it should help you break down the human body into simple shapes and lines.

Now what I mean by using the sites correctly: So there's two ways to approach drawing from references:

1. "eye tracing" which is where your eyes are kind of just following the outline of whatever you're drawing but you're not really processing what exactly you're doing to help you later down the line. I have a bad habit of doing this and I tend to struggle later again for the same pose.

2. Breaking down the reference into small chunks and shapes, and then morphing those shapes into your piece. And later down the line you should start to be able to think of things like "oh the Circle piece of the body normally goes Here!"

Here's a random google image I found to help illustrate what I'm kind of talking about:

So eye tracing would kind of be like a less refined version of #3. Just a blobby but like you can somewhat tell what it is and that's cool I guess, but its not very helpful for when you want to try drawing a variant of the pose above. Breaking down the reference is like steps #1 and #2, simple shapes and blocks that help guide and outline the final shape you want. #1 in particular is very easy to change around should you want to.

So while you're on the sites I linked, you should try to break down each pose into its shape instead of drawing exactly what you see. You should also keep in mind the 'line of action' while doing so:

It's definitely a lot to take in all at once, so I'd honestly recommend just loading up the site and doing your best to replicate the pose, 'eye tracing' or not. Once you get more used to the routine and flow, then try to branch into learning more appropriate techniques. I've seen around that some people also recommend removing the time limit on the poses, as some people learn better by taking their time on one thing and breaking things down even further from there, but that's definitely up to you. You could also go out and try drawing random people if that helps and if you're bold!

My experience with Pinterest has mostly been for inspiration or cool things I've never thought of before, though I'm sure others are able to use it better than I can haha. I'm sure there are step by step guides to help you out around there!

I think resources to learn how to draw better really do come down to what kind of learner you are in the first place. Lots of people learn really well from Youtube tutorials for example, or maybe reading and following along with a book about anatomy would work for you too. I have like the most god awful attention span ever, so what works for me is just raw trial and error and hoping for the best. tbh idk how I even got this far haha but i am happy that I've progressed at all

Let me know if you have more questions and I'll definitely do my best to answer them! If you're looking for more advice regarding traditional art learning fundamentals, I'm sure there are many other artists that would be happy to answer your questions as well!

Best of luck! :)

[thelasttime]

Please feel free to disregard, I was just thinking about you and it hit me. Do people ever treat your inbox like a diary entry, I wonder? If so, what is that Like? Does that effect your feeling of personhood at all?

oh!! people very much do treat my inbox like a diary entry as in, i get a lot of asks about them ranting or venting or letting go of the thoughts in their head into my inbox. i won't give numbers out because i don't think it matters but i do very much think that people treat my blog more like a diary/personal space than they do with other blogs (and for me, this is very special but also comes with some issues that i will now talk about)

in terms of what it's like, i think the way i've dealt with having an inbox like this has changed as i've gotten older. so i started having a more popular ask blog around 2017-2018 which means i was like 16/17 years old at the time. during that time (and i think i've referenced this quite a few times), i felt very obligated to respond to every ask i received and give my whole heart out because people wanted my help. to this day, i don't regret that at all because i was able to help so many people but it does do a Lot for a 16 year old girl's mental health. in a way it felt like if i didn't answer someone's ask, i was seriously letting someone down in the worst way possible. i don't think i realized it at the time but it really took an emotional toll on me that i wasn't able to fully grasp until i took a break from tumblr as i moved onto college

some anons probably remember this but there was a time i had a post pinned to my blog about wanting to take some space and not answer heavier asks because it was really difficult for me. i love and appreciate all of the asks that i receive but i always will feel a sense of obligation to answer those asks as quickly as possible because i know someone is waiting for me to respond with help. and of course, i don't regret doing any of this because i'm really glad that i was able to help people and give them the support they needed.

my only thing really is when people start treating me more like an emotional punching bag and ranting in my inbox because it's kinda tough !! that really affected my personhood and feeling like i wasn't being seen as an actual person behind this blog but rather an inbox to yell into.

now that i'm older it's much better! really it's just about the balance like if i don't feel emotionally ready to answer someone's ask, i actually let myself take some time before i answer it. i still do feel obligated to answer my heavier asks (because i think that it's a crucial part of this blog and my personality to help people when they need help - see: ISFJ and type 2). i also have a big support system around me that wasn't as strong when i was 16/17. i love tumblr but it's not the only thing i do and while i still get a little grumpy sometimes about people ranting in my inbox (i admit. i still sometimes feel like people forget there's a human behind this blog), it's definitely much much better.

again, anons probably know this already but me at 22 is a much healthier and happier person than i was at 16/17. i also think that giving myself space to be an emotionally healthy person has allowed me to give better advice and comfort in turn!

so yes. tl;dr it definitely does affect my personhood to this day but i think i've gotten a lot better about handling it.

[theavianlady]

Thank you so much for making such a fantastic art piece! Every single detail is incredible!!! I've stayed at it hour what adds up to literal hours today

I'm amazed with the work you put into it. I hope that the asks that I answered were helpful for you. I'm very impressed at how thorough you were in your research. The whole drawing is just SO COOL and I DID cry as I stared at it because of the loving detail in literally every pixel

Again, IT'S ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

You are very much welcome! I had so much fun, and all of you are making me blush. So worth it.

Oh, jeez. More under the cut; I can't keep anything short.

====================================

Being completely honest, I spent so much time on it over the last few days (first piece I've finished on a deadline, too), that I now have no clue what to do with my life. I'm lost.

And honestly, I'm liking it more and more the less I look at it. I knew I was biased (I see gore-covered-turtles when I close my eyes).

====================================

The details have always been my favourite part. It's the little things that really breathe life into art. It's like telling a story. Whenever I write, I find myself drawing parallels between drawing and writing. Like word choice and colours. Sentence structure and contrast. It's incredible how the smallest little things can completely change a piece.

My sister loves writing as well, and she plans this stuff way more than I've seen anyone do before. Like, she has exact dates and times when stuff happens, so she can make sure it makes sense. So-and-so gets together with so-and-so on this day, they have their first kiss a month later, so it'll be in a winter setting, etc. I aspire to achieve that level of detail one day. A good example of planning like this could be @/kathaynesart's timeline for Replica. Like, most of those events won't be focused on, only mentioned in passing, but it's so helpful to actually understand what's going on in the background.

Also the details are just the easiest part for me. No tricky anatomy, just a lot of time and fun.

====================================

And yeah! I love research. A lot. One of the things I'm kind of working on a bit is going through the different human and testudine systems and comparing them to figure out what would make sense in TMNT (I call it: "Chelonian and Human Comparative Anatomy and Physiology").

(Chelonian and testudine both mean turtles. Testudine is taxonomic and chelonian is more general.)

I showed my uncle a diagram of skin I spent forever drawing, and he was like, "It's Saturday. In the middle of summer." Lots of people think I'm weird. I love it.

====================================

And yes, those answered asks were incredibly helpful. I was very impressed with that whole chart you made, and I'm relieved you already had it. I had like, a whole list on the canvas while I was drawing to make sure I didn't forget anything.

Also, side note, I was also (also also also. So many alsos.) the anon who asked what timezone you were in. And guess what? I'm also in MDT. And also have an unreliable, chaotic, and probably really unhealthy sleep schedule. And then you were talking about the new season of the Dragon Prince, which I just binged, and I'm constantly being shocked by how many people in this fandom I have things in common with, holy cow.

...I wonder where the phrase "holy cow" came from. It's so weird.

[celestexchangs]

Cel: Right? You think you did something wrong, go over the whole conversation in your head wondering if you said something to piss them off or offend them. Then you go through that whole 'well fine then asshole' phase. Then you get worried so you go to make sure that they're okay, only to find out you're the asshole who hasn't answered for a week. 😭 Cel: Looking back at it, I can definitely see the hilarity in it, but I was definitely not laughing when it actually happened. My phone was in my back pocket when I started falling, so I pulled it out and flung it across the room so it wouldn't get soaked. And apparently I threw it too hard because it hit the wall and the screen shattered and wouldn't turn back on. So that was fun lol. Cel: The biggest I've ever seen is about 150 pounds, but I know the males can get really big. I usually have someone help me get the bigger dogs into the tub if I can't lift them on my own. But yes, I was okay. Twisted ankle and bruised hip from the fall into the tub, but overall I'm okay. Cel: That's okay! Not many people know that they're toxic at all, to be fair. I think most of us were probably poisoned at one point or another when we were younger, but most of us turned out great lol. Ooh that'll work great, thank you! [inserts address] You really don't have to do that, but I really appreciate it! Cel: I'm sorry your dad bailed on you; I can't imagine that was easy to deal with growing up. I can definitely understand the anger you have towards him. I'll never understand how parents can bail on their children. It's one thing if your relationship isn't working, but you don't abandon your children like that. That's not right. Ultimately, if your dad ever tries to come back, though, you won't know what you're going to do or how you'll feel for sure until you actually see him again. Like you said, it's easy to say 'no fuck you', but when you're face to face with someone you thought you'd never see again who meant a lot to you…well, it's hard to know what we'd do in that situation until we're actually put into it. Thank you, Stevie. It means more than you know. I'm used to the judgement from him unfortunately; it's something I've been dealing with my whole life. Anytime I don't do exactly what he wants, it's always a disappointment. It used to guilt me into doing what he wanted, but those days are long over lol. Still, there are some days where that feeling still nags at me. I love my job, but it's hard knowing nothing I do (of my own free will at least) will please him. Cel: I don't understand why people try to force animals to fight. It's barbaric. It's like those old gladiatorial fights where they used to throw humans in with lions and bears and stuff. I don't understand how anyone could think that was entertainment! I haven't seen it here beyond that one case when I first got back, but I used to see it back in Grenada and in Philly when I was working at shelters or vets offices. Usually it depends on what condition the animal's in when it gets dropped off, but a lot of them just need a lot of love and understanding. Patience. We don't typically foster dogs or anything like that, usually we just help place dogs for adoption, but I think fostering is a decent idea if the kennels ever get too full or something. I don't think I could ever foster animals…I wouldn't be able to give them up lol. Cel: I'm sure it's going to take a while for me to get finances together and stuff, but I'm definitely intending to keep it local. I love Bearcreek, and we may be a small town, but more than one vet clinic can't hurt anything ha. I'll definitely stop by on my lunch!

Stevie: Then the whole time, you wonder if you offended the person, if they got bored, or if they died, only to realize when you eventually check the message, it was on you. 🤦‍♂️ Stevie: My imagination is as active as they come, and even envisioning that scenario made me literally LOL. Were you okay after that tumble? I can't imagine someone with your height against a dog of that magnitude! Forgive me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that breed reach up to 200 lbs? Stevie: I didn't think about how toxic they are! Damn... I never worried about that when I was a kid. Honestly, it won't surprise me if I was exposed to several toxins growing up. Here is a link to non-toxin bubbles for kids and dogs. Give me an address and I'll send both there. Stevie: I think I understand where you're coming from. My dad bailed. I don't know how I will react if he resurfaces. Anger will dominate all other emotions, but if he sticks around and tries to make amends, I cannot tell if I'll seek his approval. It's easy to say I won't, but how can one truly know? That's not cool with the way he speaks to you. I get he's your parent, and parents feel they get an automatic pass with their judgments, but Cel, you are not a disappointment. It's good you keep your distance because you don't need that. Stevie: Those dog fighting rings don't make sense to me. The same with cock fighting. Why do people subject animals to that? And for what? Gambling? It's disgusting. What happens to the animals when they're dropped off? I ask since I wish to foster and want to put my name out there if one needs a temporary home while they recover. Stevie: A clinic is very doable, especially if you keep to around here. The big city must come with big-city rent costs and overhead. At least with small places like Bearcreek, the cost of living is manageable. Stevie: Come by whenever. You can eat lunch and get caffeinated at the same time.

[avelera]

hello! i hope this question doesn't offend you or seem like i'm pressuring you (i'm not!). i've simply been wondering about this since chapter 6 of come live with me and be my love because it marked the end of the first day of hob and dream's year as a married couple. so, i wish to ask what are your plans for the future of the fic? will it be about their entire year together or just little glimpses of it? will it be long or do you already have an ending in mind? btw, big fan! chapter 5 is by far my favorite but chapter 4 is a close second for all the gossip and the drama!

Hello! No offense taken whatsoever, you ask a question I've been asking myself ever since I realized we were 40k in and barely hit the second full day.

Gonna cut this for spoilers just in case! They're fairly mild but some people might want to remain wholly in the dark.

So, the first weeks of this year are, in my opinion, the most interesting of course as they represent the high points of shocks, adjustments, and revelations. I am loath to skip over any of the juicy, juicy drama that happened there. But you are correct that I am also staring down the barrel of 364 more days and they will not be receiving the same depth as Day 1. Part of me wishes I'd just said a month because then I WOULD probably show each day, but I have plans for later that would not be possible if the story only covered a month, and saying "6 months" etc would just feel odd. There's a fairytale tradition to one year, or a year and a day, that I'm also partial to and feels natural to a wager between The Endless.*

Most likely what will happen is this: once patterns are established like day to day life, meals, Hob's job at the shop, etc, there will be a bit more skipping forward because we'll have seen what those are like, on average. We'll get a bit more "a few days later..." etc but not skip past any actually important conversations or occasions.

There is also a point coming up later in the story where I think we will see more substantial times skips. I think that point will mark Act 2 of 3. I might skim through quite a bit of that period minus a few stand-out scenes and then, once the full story is complete, my plan is to open prompts for that period where if there's something readers would like to see that I didn't cover, they can ask that I fill it in as a one-shot. Perhaps overly ambitious on my part, but I know I'm going to skip some lovely "day in the life" potential in order to keep the plot and pacing on track and I'd love to address some of that potential along the lines of what readers are interested in seeing.

Act 3 will likely encompass the final month or months.

Now, how long is this fic going to be? LOL, I've given up guessing. For now I'm just enjoying writing it. If I truly sense I'm running out of steam, I might push forward into Act 2 and have that one skim time a bit more than originally intended, but I still want to get to Act 3 and the culmination of all of this rather than just drag this out as "day in the life" forever. I'm a plot-writer at heart and there is a plot to this story, even if it's somewhat hidden beneath the domesticity and day to day life. Because yes, I do have an ending in mind :3

Hope that answers your question!

*(I tend to write the Endless as quite Fae-like in general, with a fondness for complicated wagers and riddles, speak in faerie truths where what you hear might not be what they said, that they rarely lie outright, and that they have a certain sense of superiority towards humans (at least, Dream and Desire do and they're more alike than ether probably wants to admit) but can still be tricked or caught off guard, etc etc. it's IMO as good a model as any for their behavior when putting them in situations not found in the show or comic and I think I can at least nod towards some comic or show moments to back up this model, particularly pre-Burgess imprisonment on Dream's part, since he seems to have more of a cruel, otherworldly edge when we see him throughout history and is of course friends with the Fae court.)

[morganaspendragonss]

so so many thanks to everyone who read even one of these stories. i am forever grateful for all the support i've received; every comment, every kudos, every reblog, every like - they all mean so much. i'm overwhelmed, honestly, but in the very best way. ily all 🥰

day one: against all odds (we're still here) for @trkstrnd

Carlos will hate himself for it later, but he’s so focused on his task that the screech of tires coming around the corner barely registers as a blip on his radar. He doesn’t notice anything until TK suddenly barrels into him, throwing Carlos to the side just before something else, something heavy, crashes into them with a blinding flash of pain, and then—

Nothing.

*

a simple trip to the grocery store quickly turns to disaster for tk and carlos

day two: out, damned spot for anon

TK wakes up gasping, choking on air. The sheets are suffocating him and, when he tries to free himself, they only seem to get tighter. The hands reaching out for him, trying to calm him, are the final straw; TK throws himself from bed and sprints to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him as he collapses against the sink.

On some level, he is aware that the hands were Carlos’s, that the sheets were theirs, that his hands are clean, and that the dream was just a dream.

But they weren't always that way.

day three: the meetings for those in my wake for @freddieholic

For years after the divorce, Gwyn came to learn that any call from Owen was almost certainly bad news, and almost always about their son. Things have been better in the three years since her time in Texas, which is why she thinks nothing of it when he calls just after she’s put Isaac to bed for the night.

“Owen, hey,” she greets. “What’s up?”

The silence she’s answered with is the first sign that something’s wrong.

The sob that follows is the second.

“Gwyn, it’s TK. He's... They think we should say goodbye."

day four: a friend in me for 📍 anon

Carlos has come to see Nancy as a force of nature, a woman who will let nothing and no-one stand in her way, whether that’s out on the field or during a game of Monopoly. But, right now, as she sits hunched over in one of the interrogation rooms, shock blanket around her shoulders, he's never seen her look so small.

or

the story of how nancy and carlos become the new champions of 126 games nights

day five: truth is heavier than fiction for anon

Carlos pauses with his hand on the doorknob, taking a moment to prepare himself before going inside. TK’s shift finished an hour ago and he’d texted to let Carlos know he was home, which means Carlos is going to be walking right into a conversation he’d rather avoid.

Not that he’d have much choice either way; he might be able to cover his cracked and bruised ribs for a little while, but the arm in a sling will tell on him as soon as the door opens. Carlos doesn’t want to hide his injuries—they’ve had enough conversations in reverse on that theme to make him a hypocrite if he did—but he may have made some choices that he doesn’t particularly want to go into right now. Not while he’s tired and aching and just wants to cuddle with his boyfriend.

He blows out a breath, then opens the door, bracing himself for TK’s reaction.

“Hey— Shit!”

day six: slowly, and then all at once for @pragmaticoptimist34

The realisation that he loves Carlos hits him like a bolt out of the blue.

And at the worst possible moment.

We are getting updates on the active shooter situation at the Four Seasons Hotel. Austin Police Department have closed off the area and officers are currently preparing to enter the building to detain the suspect. It is as yet unknown if there have been any civilian casualties, but—

“Paul, turn the damn TV back on.”

“No.”

*

five times tk can't admit his feelings about carlos, and one time he finally does

day seven: the promise of tomorrow for anon

Up until five minutes ago, Carlos had been terrified of never having TK in his arms again. Now, the thought of letting him go scares him just as much, and TK seems to feel the same, if the way he’s clutching at Carlos’s jacket and pulling it tight across his back is any indication.

Carlos hugs him close, sinking down to his knees as TK falls into the chair behind him, letting the rest of the room fade away to nothing as he realises that they weren’t too late—that TK is here, with him, alive and mostly whole.

day eight: we'll hold each other soon for @221bsunsettowers

“Be careful, please,” TK said, smoothing down the lapels of Carlos’s shirt. “Whatever happens out there, whatever you have to do, just promise me one thing. Promise you’ll come back to me.”

Carlos knew better than to promise something like that, and TK knew better than to ask it. But because it was him, and because it was TK, Carlos just nodded and leaned in to press a kiss to TK’s temple.

“I promise,” he whispered, pulling away.

It's the last good memory Carlos has, and he's going to hold onto it for as long as he has left. If he's going to die, then the last thing he wants to see is TK's smile.

day nine: now i am just but the wayward man for anon

Ben is glaring at him again.

Klaus is very familiar with this specific glare—it’s the one Ben breaks out when Klaus is being ‘stubborn’ and ‘stupid’ and ‘a fucking asshole junkie with no self-respect who only cares about the next high and, really, it’s a fucking miracle you haven’t gotten yourself killed yet, Klaus’.

He has to hand it to him. Ben really does have him down to a tee.

*

winter is approaching and klaus has nowhere to go. his siblings are his only option—meaning he effectively has no options.

day ten: i can't imagine my life without you for 📍 anon

It had come completely out of left field—one minute everything was fine, the next Carlos had turned to him with guarded eyes and a clenched jaw, and said six words that sent TK’s whole world crashing down.

“I think we need a break.”

*

nobody likes to be asked 'trouble in paradise?', particularly when the answer is yes.

day eleven: start again from the beginning for anon

Owen trusts his son. He’s watched TK fight his addiction and stay sober for the last six years, and he has faith that he can handle himself.

But when TK doesn’t show up for work the night after proposing to Alex, Owen knows that something is wrong. After all, they've been here before.

day twelve: let me love you when your heart is tired for anon

TK knows it’s going to be a bad day from the moment he opens his eyes. Slowly, slowly, each twitch like he’s moving mountains, he inches his hand blindly across the bed to reach out for Carlos. If he can just feel his boyfriend, if he can just see him—

But, of course. Carlos has a shift today. TK has a vague recollection of him getting out of bed at five this morning, rousing him with a shift to the mattress and a gentle kiss on the forehead.

If this were a normal day, he might smile at the memory.

day thirteen: couldn't utter my love when it counted for 📍 anon

TK takes his time in the bathroom, stopping to stare at his reflection in the mirror for several minutes and trying to talk himself down from any more-than-friendly feelings towards Carlos.

Later, they’ll tell him that this saved his life.

But that won’t be for a long time, until after the smoke has cleared and the dead have been counted and the statements have been taken. For now, TK steels his resolve and nods at himself, then turns to the door, a hand reaching out for the handle.

That’s when the explosion rips through the building.

*

after the boba date, tk lets carlos go. they're friends, which is working just fine, until a horrific accident threatens to take even that away from them.

day fourteen: if i walk out the door (a thousand eyes) for anon

TK gets this feeling sometimes, a sort of prickling at his back, like someone’s behind him, breathing down his neck. At first, it was only a once-in-a-while situation, so he thinks nothing of it; when it becomes an everyday occurrence, he starts to wonder, but he’s probably just being paranoid. The shooting, kidnapping, firehouse explosion, and the fire at his and Carlos’s house had all taken their toll, and TK’s just generally more on edge these days.

He doesn’t tell anyone about the feeling, not even Carlos. There’s no reason to fuck up everyone else’s peace with something so stupid. It’ll go away eventually; TK’s sure of it.

That is, until one of the lots just down from the firehouse gets occupied.

day fifteen: find you here inside the dark for @fanfic-corner

Yaz has walked this room too many times to count now; she’s traced her fingertips over the walls, searching for any cracks or crevices to indicate where there might be a door.

If the Doctor were here, she’d have her sonic out by now, spitting out words, only half of which Yaz could understand. She’d find a way out in no time. Or, if not, at least she’d be here. Talking a mile a minute, probably annoying the hell out of their captors. Yaz can almost hear her now—

Wait.

She can hear her now.

day sixteen: accidents happen for @ilovemosss

So, Jason reflects, it may not have been the best idea to take Pythagoras out training while they’re all suffering from a severe lack of sleep. Being the more logical of them, Pythagoras, to his credit, had attempted to talk him out of it, but Jason ignored him.

He very much regrets that decision now.

day seventeen: you and me (moving through this world as a two-man team) for @laelipoo

TK does not have a crush on the 126's latest hire.

Carlos Reyes: an Austin local, an incredible firefighter, and—objectively speaking—the most beautiful man TK has ever laid eyes on. Which is, in fact, the entire point; TK has eyes and, yes, he will use them to sneak a look or two when he’s suddenly sharing space with a man who looks like a Greek god.

That does not mean he has a crush, Paul.

(and, sure, maybe he does sometimes dream about how soft Carlos’s lips look and the little blush he gets when he laughs and those little flecks of gold in his eyes, but he’s only human)

(how TK knows about the gold in Carlos’s eyes is none of anybody’s business)

day eighteen: in perfect harmony for @anyotherheartwilldo

Here’s the thing—Carlos doesn’t believe in signs. He used to when he was younger, raised on his abuela’s stories, but as he’d gotten older his father had taught him that what mattered was the choices he made. He’s the only one who has a say in the way his life turns out, and if he wants something, he has to put in the work to get it.

But there comes a point—namely, after his fifth thwarted attempt to propose to TK—when he begins to wonder if the universe really does have something against him.

*

proposing to tk proves far more complicated than carlos had first thought.

day nineteen: whatever here that's left of me (is yours) for anon

“Are you…” TK leans closer, peering at the hoodie Carlos is wearing, and—yep. “Why are you wearing my hoodie? Was there nothing in your size from the crew? You should have said something. We can fix this, you don’t need to be uncomfortable.”

There’s a beat, and then Carlos, studiously avoiding TK’s gaze, clears his throat. “It smells like you.”

*

post-2.12, carlos finds comfort in tk's hoodies.

day twenty: can't smile without you for anon

Carlos would be lying to himself if the possibility hadn’t occurred to him before. He has always worried for TK’s safety, and the knowledge that a serial killer is on the loose in Austin has sent that worry skyrocketing. Especially because he’s the lead detective on the case; he’s spent hours poring over horrific crime scenes, examining all the facts until they’re burned into his brain.

Admittedly, the killers seem to be mostly indiscriminate in who they take, meaning the chances of it being TK are slim.

But there’s still a chance.

*

a before, during, and after of tk's kidnapping in a hole where your memory goes

day twenty-one: lately you've been searching for a darker place to hide for @freddieholic

“Can I ask you something else?”

TK stiffens at the sound of Mateo’s voice, a nervous note to it that wasn’t there last time. Something tells him he knows exactly what Mateo wants to ask; still, he turns to lean against the counter, crossing his arms as casually as he can manage. “Sure.”

“Are you…” Mateo trails off, biting his lip and avoiding TK’s gaze. “I mean, do you… I mean—”

“You can say it, you know,” he interrupts, not unkindly. “If you want to know if I’m thinking about heading out and getting high, then just ask.”

*

five times tk turns to unhealthy coping mechanisms when he wants to use + one time he finally asks for help

day twenty-two: know me crazy, soothe me daily for anon

It had freaked Carlos out the first time it happened.

“It was a seizure,” TK explained, after Carlos had finished telling him about it. TK had been disoriented and confused for about ten minutes after, and couldn’t even remember half of their earlier conversation. “I… It’s because of the drugs. They fucked something up in my brain, especially after my first overdose, and now I get seizures occasionally."

*

in which carlos gets a little over-protective and tk is mildly exasperated

day twenty-three: lover, be good to me for anon

Carlos holds his arms out, and TK comes willingly, setting what Carlos now recognises as a tray of food carefully on the bed. “What’s this?”

TK stares as if it’s obvious. “Date night.”

“What?”

TK pauses, then gasps. “You’re right.” He pats himself down frantically, then pulls an object out of his pocket with a dramatic flourish. It’s a little electric tea light—real candles long since banned from the bedroom—and Carlos watches in bemusement as TK flicks it on and sets it down on the tray. “Now it’s date night.”

*

his fiancé being bed-bound isn't going to keep tk from date night

day twenty-four: bring you in from the cold for anon

As a cop, Carlos has always been uncomfortably aware of his own mortality. He’s considered his own death more than is probably healthy, but when you’re facing down the barrel of a gun almost every single day, it’s kind of forced on you.

He’s imagined himself being shot, stabbed, strangled, and everything in between.

But he’s not sure he ever pictured dying in a walk-in freezer after getting trapped there by mistake.

day twenty-five: heaving through corrupted lungs for anon

TK is itching to go home and check on Carlos, to make sure he’s still breathing and actually resting like he’s supposed to be. On the other hand, Carlos would probably kill him if he left work, illness be damned. It’s just… Carlos had looked so ill that morning, skin ashen and voice all but gone, and it had taken a lot of convincing for TK to still go to his own shift. He’d insisted on making sure Carlos had all the blankets and water and snacks and anything else he could possibly want, but even so, he’s still uneasy.

His gut is telling him that something’s wrong, and TK doesn’t think he can ignore it for much longer.

*

when carlos falls ill, they think it's just a bad cold. but when tk goes to check on him, he's in for a nasty shock.

day twenty-six: slowly becoming lovers for @pragmaticoptimist34

Things don’t get fixed overnight. They agree to give them a shot, but that doesn’t change the fact that TK is still reeling from his break-up and overdose, nor that Carlos is still hesitant and afraid of pushing too hard at once.

But, slowly, they get to know each other. And, slowly, they start to fall in love.

*

tk and carlos, getting to know each other and falling in love

day twenty-seven: and curse the gods for @girlwhowasntthere

Jason knows what it is to be cursed.

day twenty-eight: ignoring every warning for @moviegeek03

TK is fine.

He is absolutely, 100% fine.

And, sure, maybe he’s not supposed to be at work right now, and maybe his hand hasn’t fully healed yet, but it’s nothing. His doctor cleared him to go back to work, which means it’s healed enough, and TK is certainly not going to admit defeat no matter how much he's hurting.

day twenty-nine: can you beat back the night? for @girlwhowasntthere

He misses the bard. Geralt won’t admit it, not even to Roach, but he misses him. After months—years—of Jaskier’s constant chatter and the sound of his lute, the silence, once valued above all else, is too much.

It’s been months since the dragon, since Geralt lost both Yennefer and Jaskier in one fell swoop. He’s cursed himself many times over for the words he said—to both of them—and cursed himself more for the mistakes he made to get in this position in the first place.

*

this is the lot of witchers, to be alone.

day thirty: ease my mind for @silvarafael

Briefly, Carlos considers calling TK and telling him about the accident. But… He only broke two of his fingers and it barely even classifies as a minor injury in his book, so there’s really no reason to bother his fiancé while he’s still on shift himself. He pockets his phone then looks around to figure out where the exit is.

Only, an all-too familiar laugh distracts him from his task, drawing his attention to the nurses station.

Where TK is standing, smiling as a nurse swats at him for stealing one of their lollipops.

Carlos is, beyond doubt, fucked.

day thirty-one: scars turn to memories for anon

Their front door is open. It’s wide open, and the wood of the door frame is broken, splinters littering the driveway and the floor of the front room. TK’s heart stops in his chest as he surveys the scene, his brain going blank, struggling to comprehend what he’s seeing.

Everything is quiet in the front room, not even a table setting out of place. TK creeps further into their home, his every nerve on edge as he barely breathes for fear of alerting whoever’s here of his presence.

And then, he remembers.

Carlos was off shift tonight. He was here. Alone.