#but i'm learning to take it easy!
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have some grian sketches while i'm trying to convince myself that it's okay to draw just for the process itself. not everything has to be perfect and meaningful!
#hermitcraft#grian#my art#nezha talks#i used to draw him a lot just to relax but ceased to#perhaps out of fear that if my art doesn't have some unique idea it's worth nothing#but i'm learning to take it easy!
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Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.
Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU
#knitting#no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means#How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles#Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me#Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice#How do I join the pattern cult#I am so confused#I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders#I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources#And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me#I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling?#Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language#And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction
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Imagine this takes place at the end of step 2 so they're close enough to joke around with each other lol
(Fake screenshots! These are fan made based on incorrect quotes and not in the game)
#our life 2#our life now and forever#olnf#olnf qiu#olnf tamarack#our life tamarack#tamarack baumann#our life qiu#qiu lin#our life mc#step 2#mc annabeth#mc beck#incorrect quotes#fan made#fan edit#i took some liberties with the incorrect quote#i imagine this takes place probably the winter after step 2 and beck is helping them study for midterms#she's happy to help since this is probably the only subject she can confidently tutor in#qiu is likely just taking it for the easy grade since their best friend is fluent while tam is genuinely trying to learn for her future gf#if tam confessed or said anything sweet in spanish that beck didn't teach her she would simply explode with joy#my sweet girl <3#also if there's any problems with the spanish please lmk i am not at all fluent and will fix it immediately!#and I'm going to headcanon that tama's ribbon is cranberry so my girls can have accessories in each other's hair colors <3#silly kids in love that don't know it yet <3333
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There's something about reading really great writing that's so relaxing. You can just sit back and let the words wash over you, knowing that you can trust the writer.
#random thought of the day#books#part of the reason i'm not getting writing done today was because i spent most of my free time reading from books i've let sit for too long#i haven't been able to sink into good fiction for a while#so elizabeth goudge felt like a spiritual experience#cleansing and uplifting#it always takes me a while to get into her books#there's a learning curve of a couple of chapters to adjust to the style#but once i break through it's bliss#it becomes easy as breathing#there's nothing quite like what she does#i love books that understand that goodness isn't boring or trite#you don't need to have 'darkness' and 'grit' to be complex#like one bit that took my breath away was the talk about sallie and david's marriage struggles#they're both good people who love each other#but they also have their differences because they're human and that causes struggles#not marriage-breaking struggles just nuanced life struggles#and i'm not sure i've seen something like that in a book before#it's a good marriage they married the right people but that doesn't mean life is perfect#goudge uderstands that marriage isn't happily ever after--heaven is#and a good marriage is two people partnering up to help each other reach that goal#it's so much more adult than any 'complex adult' work i've seen
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how i was drawing horses when i was 4yo, and how i draw them now (i'm 27)
thought all my childhood drawings were gone but i was wrong! i've found some of them and i'm still giggling looking at all the goofy horses. it was pretty much all i was drawing back then
i guess it took me 23 years to draw them like i do now whoops
#this big ass journey is always in my mind when some people expect me to give some kind of sercet advice so they could be good at drawing#like right after they hear it#it's not gonna happen. it takes time to gain skills. even if u know a fuck ton of “lifehacks” or whatever#u still need time to actually learn how to be good at something#oh and when people tell me drawing is easy as fuck for me bc im natually talanted... like.... are u serious...#yes it's kind of easy now. easier than before at least. u know why?#bc of many years of ripping apart my works and crying and beating myself and hating everything bc “i'm not good enough”#many years of pain in my wrists. many years of learning everything. observing. and millions of mistakes.#anyway...#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr
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I wanna do this to Ozzie so bad
#fanart#helluva boss#helluva fanart#helluva fizzarolli#helluva asmodeus#helluva ozzie#fizzmodeus#fizzarozzie#fizz x ozzie#doodle#desperately trying to learn the art of doodling#I have a bad habit of doing fully finished art even when I'm trying to take it easy and just doodle#also trying to spare my wrist#my art
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People act like they're going to be the next CEO shooter when they can't even stop doing hauls from Shien. Like some people want a revolution but can't even do small stuff like practicing boycotts.
#look i'm guilty of wanting my life to be as soft and easy as possible#but if we want a meaningful change there has to be sacrifice#i think right now is the time to organize and plan and not squander the attention on the healthcare industry and wealth inequality#that is very present right now and i just hope something good comes from it#but that involves organizing and making sacrifices and not just acting like luigi mangione is some sort of savior#which i have already seen some of#like the way y'all talk about him is so weird#like you got the media and government acting like he's the worst monster to ever exist#but then you got people on social media idolizing him and acting like he's a savior#he's a guy he's just a guy#who may or may not have gotten fed up on day and decided to take action#can you please learn to talk about him normally#~uhc shooting
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Insane over the awakening trio again. We fought a war together, saved each other multiple times, and I know for a fact I can trust you with my life. We have never learned to socialize normally so we can't interact in a normal environment for five seconds without dunking on each other. I would follow you through time and space and abandon everything with you. You are the living reminder of every awful thing that have ever happened to me. Our traumas make us hurt each other at every turn. We're the only ones who know what lead to each other becoming Like That. Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. You are all I have left. I cannot fucking understand you. I am the only one in this entire world who has the ability to even try to.
x
#my text#asks#fe13#This ask is so good I wanna publish it first without any of my commentary and then i'll rb it with my own comments later#this is just fun to read#thinking of this line in particular:#'Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. '#i don't show it enough in my fics because a lot of my fics are fates focused or au focused for convenience sake so i want the awakening tri#to be hanging out way more and have had their growth but canonically before awakening they really like. Do Not Associate.#i think of this for so many of the awakening kids in general but like. they all travel through time together. they go through something lik#the future past DLC together. their lives depend on each other so much. most of them cannot stand each other.#inigo and owain Do Not fucking get along and never have really until fates when they're both adults and even then they're ribbing each othe#there's no doubt to me that they have gotten into a physical fight at least once before. or they avoid each other and are extremely rude#when forced to work together outside life or death scenarios. especially pre-awakening.#in their supports owain tries to be nice to severa repeatedly and she goes out of her way to be extra rude to the point#that he has a crises about being weird. and even if their s support isnt' canon#severa notes that owain was always nice to her and she struggled with being nice back throughout their lives#inigo and severa don't get along either. inigo is trying to be “nice”/build his confidence of talking to others with compliments#but he's genuinely condescending and quite rude and doesn't listen to severa telling him to stop talking to her like that.#note: severa actively goes out of her way to be mean to a lot of people back then. she's not easy to get along with.#(interestingly she tells noire she only does this to take people down a peg and doesn't do it to people with no self esteem like noire.#(similar to niles in a way. to be explored later.)#These people are Not Close and they are not each other's first choices to hang out. and they probably were aware of each other in#childhood but much more aware when they're older. owain's childhood friends were probably the Justice Cabal.#severa canonically hung with noire tot he point where noire grew up relying on her. i suspect she hung with the girls most of all#inigo... i'm not sure he has any close childhood friends. which could be attributed to maybe (a) living in Regna Ferox with Olivia#if you believe they went with basilio after the first war#or maybe learning early on to hide his real self early on so he never lets anyone get close. he clearly Cares about everyone in a#'won't let anyone die if he can help it/won't let them die alone (gerome/owain)' kind of way#but is he Close with them? I don't think so. not until Awakening and he has A supports
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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having a snack on their shiny new floor ✨
#putting them on a new feed protocol to see if it helps my whole.....situation#high high high fiber and just enough pellet to keep them at an ok weight#annoyed their wean date is....the day before i leave but what can you do#and if anyone is sick when i get home it'll be calling waddl time. and hopefully i learn some answers#i'm kinda worried the answers are gonna be 'yep that's enterotoxaemia and there's nothing you can do' which will be a net zero information#but that's why i'm also trying this new diet at the same time#high fiber and low carb diets are supposed to help kits with weaning stress and prevent enteric diseases according to every college ever#so may as well try!! hay and oats is cheap. ish#also happy that the feed i'd like to switch to is also higher in fiber than any of the local options i have#so maybe it'll also help. but probably the biggest help will be finally getting in the new barn and off these damn dirt floors#glad that it's the slow breeding season anyway so i can take a little break to figure this out without impacting my food supply#i really did think i had this figured out last year but i can never have anything easy#rabbits#blanc de hotot#kits
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thinking about how elias went from learning how to take care of themself and exist as a person from the neath's servants, to becoming a paramount presence and London's Adored Regent in a few short years
#elias leroux#oc chatter#like. talk about a fucking jump in station and status holy shit elias#this is also why eluas was practically living in scandalland their first year and a half in the ndath#they were learning how to be a Fucking Person AND a Proper Member of Society at the same time and they were learning BOTH fast and dirty#when they lived with their parents they read lots of books so they had tons of technical knowledge#but they didn't have much practical knowledge until they escaped to the neath#I'm also thinking about possibly having them actually work as a servant for a little while. doing jobs that could be done in their chair#while starting on light fingers.#to be fair. probably not many jobs they could have done! i imagine helping with food prep a lot and mending clothes#how did they leave servantry? uh. combination nadir + lethean tea leaves they probably just. fucking forgot they had a job fjdbdhhd#and shortly after that they talked themself into being on the railway and made up a new identity at the house of chimes#and also going through the Genders tm so. lots of conning and scheming and elias brutally claeing their way to the top#and with the railway started The Swan Bride happened and then they rapidly gained Actual Position and Power (and money) so the climb got#easier from there. still not EASY but. easier.#and then 'winning' the Marvellous just fucking. skyrocketed them to the top. but elias started very very low and is always terrified someone#will find out and uncover their secrets and take away all elias has
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One thing that my bestie pointed out to me tonight that disgusted me and made me immediately recoil- my behavior has been changing because of the Boy and whether or not he engages with me, and my mood is hinged on whether or not he gives me attention. 🤮 ewwwww!!! Cut that out right now!! Of course it's normal and fine but I don't need that! Especially right now, post breakup, my life is a mess. The sex was amazing but I need to start detaching myself from him because he changed SO MUCH in the past 4 weeks. He played a looooong game to get to me. Bought pastries from me twice in the past year, sent me messages every day, got his tattoos at a shop in my neighborhood, asked me out, and now he barely talks to me. Which is so bizarre. But maybe he believes he can kick back and stop trying because he thinks I've fallen to my knees for him? I really can't try to decipher his behavior nor do I want to. He is pretty immature (hence "the Boy") and if he wasn't so talented in bed I would've stopped engaging with him from the first time we hung out.
Due to my apartment ceiling caving in, I'm couch surfing. He knows this and offered to get us a hotel room this weekend. This is a final chance to see if he can do something an adult man would do, and follow through with a plan. If he doesn't, I'm going to tell him he disappointed me and I don't have space for that right now in my very busy, very stressful life. So he won't be coming back to my apartment after the ceiling is fixed.... and I guess I'll never be invited over to his place because he lives with his parents! Oops 😬 🤭
#god the head he gave was amazing. please let another person that good wander into my life#but this time can that person be a normal adult? lol#i've thought about keeping him around just as a fuckboy and letting him come over whenever he decides to#but the issue with that is i'm discovering that i dont separate emotions from sex like some other people can.#i need to date the people i sleep with. i enjoy feeling the full range of emotions i get#and the idea of trying to compartmentalize them for the sake of casual sex isn't as easy ir fun as i thought it would be 4 weeks ago#i've been learning a LOT from the interactions i'm having with him#he is also younger than me and super insecure#and he has low self esteem :( i wish i could help him but i can barely take care of myself rn#and he cant communicate to save his life. oh well. he would be sooooo sexy if he owned up to how he felt and showed any vulnerability!
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Anyway, if you aren’t Black don’t use any variation of woke. I don’t care what conservatives are calling fuckers/using as the new sjw/political correctness/what have you.
If you know what fuckers mean use what they mean, and if you don’t why are you copying what people are saying?
Woke ain’t for you. If the discussion isn’t about Black people being aware of and/or educating other Black people about racism/antiblackness/structural inequality/all the other bullshit then it doesn’t need to be used in the discussion.
#nix meows#aave#woke#aave misuse#apparently that one post i made where i directly mentioned how i don't wanna see boogleech no more showed up in his tags#which is generally how tumblr's search function works; if a word in there it shows up#anyway i do wish a motherfucker would learn to take a hint that i do not wish to continue a conversation#cause all i'm getting is excuses about how he's just paraphrasing so its fine#that other people don't have an issue and not 'to shoot the messenger#my wigga i was forced to see the word 'wokeist' (yall know i can't spell) on a post from someone i know is white#who's posts show up everyfucking where in the corner of tumblr i generally operate in#why would i give a damn what the rest of the post was about when a wigga shouldn't be using words like that period#aint no fucking changing my mind#ya ruined my night and i don't wanna see ya#i aint ask nobody to block you or some shit like that#i personally don't wanna get microaggressed on my own damn dash cause my white mutuals (who mean well but dont all ways catch shit)#decided to reblog it untagged#like yeah its pretty easy to drop a bitch i only occasionally interacted with over the course of a few years over#it just on the innitial 'it's not an issue' dismissal#told me everything i needed to know#bogleech#may as well actually tag them cause I've been feeling a lot less charitible given how they handled shit and kept trying to shut me up#plus they're a vote blue no matter who fucker like genocide joe is harm reduction
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Like I feel kinda shit for it but I truly do not have the energy to figure out based on fcking posts of someone's Instagram likes and like. The fucking actions of people they support to figure out whether it's "okay" to like them like I just can't
#sayingthing#And honestly objectively it's kinda silly because there's more important things to focus on ffs!#But still like there is guilt there because you CAN know more than I do nowadays#And you know I like the idea of the people (who's work) I'm a “fan” of to actually be people I'd “agree” with irl#But for most people irl I wouldn't know that shit either! And we just fcking live with that until we do learn I guess idfk#And mainly it's a product of parasocialism and weird online culture#And I just want to be having fun out here but It feels fucking silly to say when I could potentially figure out if they maybe actually#Have shitty opinions or a shitty worldview or take shitty actions#But I just do not have the energy for that#I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT “CELEBRITIES”#NEITHER do I want to have the kind of mental relationship with celebrities where that's relevant#But I post about shit online and then I can't help but go along with the online contextt even though it's not how I fucking want it to be#This is just all stupid but that's the point I guess???#Like why am I even posting about this why is this a thing that I'm giving more attention than actual world-relevant things#Like at some point I'll finally decide that if people are being vague as fuck about why someone is x type of shitty#And also not Very easy to find more info on? It's just not worth it to get into.#So.#LIKE THESE ARE NOT THE THINGS TO FOCUS ON IN LIFE
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me when I learned that the german govt is also funding Israel
#looks like deutschland is on the wrong side of history again#pls don't take this to mean i'm against germany or german people#being 99% german on both sides of my family i err on the side of germans are generally good people#just as most americans (i believe) are good people#but learning this was a bit of a shock to me i won't lie#given how far germany has come from being the world's most fascist state to being a world leader in progressiveness#i'm also just super disappointed#free palestine#i stand with palestine#occupied palestine#palestine#pray for palestine#save palestine#support palestine#free gaza#gaza#gaza genocide#save gaza#fuck israel#all eyes on rafah#rafah#save rafah#free rafah#rafah under attack#band of brothers#easy company#george luz#bob#hbo war
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"There is no other pianist/organist in Europe today who has moved, and I think ever will move me as much as much as Alan does." - Eric Burdon, 1966
#hi hello hiiiiiii happy 'i'm crying/take it easy' recording day <3#wanted to deviate a little from band-related things and make a little piece celebrating the price-burdon aaaaa#since they don't have an immortalized meeting-date like some other songwriting duos do 😔#when i do learn the date they met believe me i'll make it a national holiday but until then....#i will celebrate on the same day that they recorded two of the songs they wrote together 🙏🙏🙏 TWO ABSOLUTE BOPS MIGHT I ADD#g o s h they get me so emotional.... contrasting and complementing one another in the best ways#alan so distant at first and even a little jealous#but then warming up to him completely.... dare i say developing quite a soft spot for eric.....#meanwhile eric was always impressed by him and wanted him to go far#aGGGhGHgHgHGG their musical partnership and general relationship is just so... aaaaaaAAA even if the songwriting didn't go far#it's not the 'what if' between alan and eric that makes them so compelling to me... it's 1000% what we have in front of us#(that 32000 word essay is my pride and joy) (STILL NEED TO UPDATE IT AGGHH)#anyway.... celebrating price-burdon today <3#eric burdon#alan price#the animals#1964#60s fanart#60s rock#classic rock fanart#classic rock#british invasion#british rock#worried life arts
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