#but i'm desperate ok
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Slimecicle: Ok guys, do you have the 64- you have the stack of diamonds right– oh hey Missa.
Missa: I'm not part of the team, but I just want to tell you guys that I love you guys.
Foolish: FCK YOU!
Phil: Aww, love you too, man, love you too.
Baghera: Aww.
Slimecicle: I love you too, I love you too.
Baghera: You're gonna die.
Foolish: Wait- no! He's trying to coerce us!
Missa: We're all gonna die, SEE YA! SEE– [Missa disconnects]
#Philza#Missa Sinfonia#QSMP#Red team#Pissa#Slimecicle#Baghera#Foolish Gamers#Cellbit#Foolish#Baghera Jones#I got you guys#not a full transcript because I'm desperately trying to keep up with stream rn#Anyways. I think we'll all be ok#yes they all love murdering each other and being chaotic but they'll all be ok in the end#November 4 2023
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i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.
#ramble#i think knowing that he was awful and that it wasn't my fault should make all the sad go away actually#i'm in such a weird fragile state right now that last night i looked at my flip flops that are still covered in mud#and i just started crying bc last weekend he carried me over the mud so they wouldn't get ruined. KNOWING he was going to do this to me#sorry i try really hard not to overshare but i don't want to keep bothering anyone in my actual life about this and idk what to do#when it happened it didn't hurt this badly and i just assumed i would be fine#idk i think it's just sunk in how much of my future i don't have anymore and that's like#a bit scary#because i was Just calming down and thinking maybe i would be ok in the long term and now it's all gone#i'm in that weird place between desperately wanting him back and plotting where to bury the body parts#i'm also mad bc i wish he'd left me before the festival. there were SO many gorgeous metalhead trans girls that i could've kissed
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i need to talk about this line here for a second, because it's an attack on me personally. but not the english translation of it, no, it's the og thai line that really gets to me. because he says:
มันโอเคนะเว้ย ที่จะมีความรักอ่ะ [man - oh-keh - ná wóiie • thêe - jà - mee kwaam rák - àh] it - okay - [particle] • that - will - be in love - [particle]
he specifically uses the term มีความรัก which is more like "to be in love". which means rather than "it's okay to love", this line is more accurately translated as:
It's okay to be in love.
and as someone who really really really struggles with self-acceptance for my own romantic feelings for others, this distinction is really important to me. i can deal with loving others. i love my family. i love my best friend (you really don't go here but hiiii @magsimags i love youuuu 😘 (i know you're rolling your eyes reading this as usual)(i don't care)(i love you)). i love my other close friend. i love my summer camp gang. i love my friend that style reminds me of. i love each and every single one of the friends i've made in this fandom over the past few years (you know who you are 💖). i KNOW it's okay to love. i do it all the time. loudly. as evidenced by the fact that i just HAD to tag my best friend in this post to publically tell her i love her even though she really doesn't care about my thai blorbos, just because i really couldn't NOT tag her to tell her i love her. anyway. i can love. loving is fine.
but to be in love??? that's a whole different story. having (in my case romantic) feelings for someone feels like a heavy burden. it feels humiliating. i hate it. i don't want it. it stresses me out. and the person i have feelings for especially can't ever know about it. see, i will talk about my crushes/romantic feelings, but mostly to family and friends (the better they know the person i have feelings for, the harder it gets for me to admit to it), and even then the word "be in love" won't ever come out of my mouth in my native language. in english it's easier, but in my native language i just can't say it. it feels heavy. it makes me cringe. being in love is horrible.
so when style said "it's okay to be in love" specifically? that was a punch to my gut. because this is a truth i have not yet managed to accept for myself. and if the person i had feelings for specifically told me "it's okay to be in love" so firmly and so earnestly? yeah, i would crumble too
#some lore about me i guess#the heart killers#stylefadel#fadelstyle#thk ep4#thk#airenyah explains thai#adrm#holy fuck writing this post i just realized something:#loving someone (lieben) is something i ACTIVELY do#but being in love (verliebt sein) is something that just HAPPENS to me. i have less control over it#maybe THAT'S what's stressing me out about it#ooooof i need to sit on this. maybe have a Serious Conversation™ about it with my mom or a friend#anyway coming back to thk:#i think style phrasing it specifically as ''to be in love'' rather than ''to love'' is a distinction that is important for fadel too#esp when looking at it from a ''loving is sth you actively do while being in love just happens to you''#we know that fadel's life is planned out to the tiniest detail and we know he likes to have control over things#but his developing feelings for style is something he CAN'T control no matter how hard he's tried and it freaks him out. it scares him#style is telling him that it's ok to let go. it's ok NOT to be in control for once. it's ok to allow things to take their course naturally#it doesn't have to be a bad thing#i'm about to cry bc i'm saying words that i desperately need to internalize myself
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an evil spirit and an ex-terrorist getting along? mayhaps.
#ekuseri#ekuserirei#serirei#(kind of. tagging it just in case)#serizawa katsuya#ekubo#mp100#mp100 fanart#mi art stuff#ok hiii tag reader :]]] i am once again gonna ramble#bc i have been thinking a LOT about these two.#and i desperately need more of them#idk why. i cant explain it either but i'm brainrotting so hard it's worrying /j#anyway thats all from now hehe#thanks for reading my rambling mwah have a nice day <333#i've already posted this on instagram but i'm bad at cross posting or smth HJDKFKRG
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forgot i had some old backlog or whatever..
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the coco is me trying to draw after a week+ of gaming..genuinely my hand was shaky and i have no idea what im doing#i want to go back to copious witch hat very soon but i'm trying - desperately - to channel my post-veilguard malaise into scribbles#that will comfort me...the emotional crash is affecting me... i think i forgot how poorly i understand and can cope in this shitty world#while playing that game...let me go back..to..MY LIGHTHOUSE!!!!!! and do i even want to make fanart? what i want is to go BACK....#The complicated world of the maladaptive cai. im not meant to be here yet😭😭😭#i was going to draw more halloween orufrey i think. “Grr get back you evil VAMPIRE you just want to take my BLOOD..GRR!!! Hehe#“Ohhh i wouldn't do that! That would be mean. I'm sure they sell it at the grocery shop in Karoon. :)#“Oh... ok. But what if you couldn't make it there?” * the girls show up * “HUH?! b-baby vampires and wolves...??#(they decided secretly to dress up as kid versions of orufrey's outfits - obviously riche wanted to be a wolf to be like euini)#(agott's really really proud to be carrying her goblet of blood because it looks like ALCOHOL which is GROWNED UP (actually cranberry juice
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forgive this for looking a little rough i just wanted the idea out. anyway i was thinking, i've never seen a protag joins volo thing before so now i gotta
volo is simply doing this because it would be convenient to have such a powerful ally on his side. it has nothing to do with empathizing with this outsider. this is just another transaction. nothing more.
#pokemon#pokemon legends arceus#pokemon volo#pokemon rei#clai's art#i'm surprised i havent seen this done before honestly? the only ''protag turns on the village'' concepts i remember involve--#--protag dying or nearly dying after being banished and joining the hisuian zoroark#trying to write the dialogue in volo's memories was rough his backstory is too VAGUE!!! GIMME SMTH TO WORK WITH#i dont know how things would go so wrong that protag would turn to helping volo with his plan#like in canon protag still had plenty of people on their side after banishment they would not be this desperate. bear with me here ok#like hey. if i'd been put into such a bleak situation i'd take the first out offered to me
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Wgheream i
#randolph carter#nyarlathotep#rantep#ok so basically I'm starting a side project#where I'm making charm/sticker designs for all me favorite eldritch horror interests#they're first because i desperately want a little keychain to put on my bag LMAO#solius art#i love designing Eldritch gods a lot#I'm probs gonna do a full lovecraft pantheon at some point#too much fun
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From @jegulus-microfic prompt "skirt" | 600 words
Part 1 of Let them be (can be read as a standalone)
Part 2 >
Let boys wear trousers
Regulus Black hated the Hogwarts uniform. Absolute despised it. He could hide his chest with spells or tight bras or bigger clothes - thankfully he had small breasts already. But he couldn't do anything about the bottom part. He had asked Dumbledore himself to wear trousers instead but he was denied, as it was "tradition" and "the school rules" and Ms. Black was probably "confused" - fucking prick.
He wasn't fully out. His friends knew and called him by the name he chose. So did Sirius and his mates. At first people slipped, calling him by his deadname and used she/her pronouns. It didn't last long, though. And thankfully it barely happened at all with his brother. None of their friends had a problem with it, thankfully. But it was still hard to connect to people. Fully connect.
Tears of frustration were running down his cheeks after he left the Headmaster's office.
"Black?" He looked to his left and faced a tanned Gryffindor with round glasses. Potter was Sirius's best friend. "Black, are you okay?" James got closer to the boy, his voice sweet and comforting, dark eyebrows furrowed with worry.
"Dumbledore is a bloody fucking prick!"
"Regulus, what happened?" The people he was out to called him by his last name when in public, but they were close enough that others wouldn't hear.
"He won't let me wear trousers. Transphobe. It doesn't even make sense! Some girls don't like skirts! It's such a fucking stupid rule!"
"Hey…" two big hands rested on his shoulders and he looked up for the first time. "It's okay, we'll fix this somehow. I'll talk to Mcgonagall, she can convince that old man sometimes."
"You can try but it probably won't work…" Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Black pulled himself together. Like he was taught. "It doesn't matter. I'll be fine." That was a lie and they both knew it. Still no one said anything as he walked away.
Pandora was lovely. She did her best to cheer him up in the dorm but the fact that he was sharing with a girl brought him dysphoria. Regulus didn't belong there.
It's an understatement saying that he was shocked when he saw James Potter strutting confidently into the Great Hall for breakfast wearing a skirt. What the fuck was he doing?!
"Potter. Why in the name of Merlin are you wearing a skirt?! You're going to get detention!"
"See, Black, I am protesting. Until girls are allowed to wear trousers, I will be breaking the dress code." He blinked. Regulus blinked twice. His heart stopped and the way he saw his brother's best friend suddenly shifted. He was protesting for Regulus. Getting in detention for Regulus. Most likely would face hate, all for Regulus. Yet he was completely unfazed. Potter wasn't stupid. He knew what he got himself into. But still, he did it anyway?
"But… Why? I mean- where did you even get the skirt??"
"It's Mary's. And I felt like it. Occurred to me randomly. Was bored so I thought 'why not start a protest?', you know?" That was a big fat lie and the Gryffindor wasn't even trying to hide it. He wore a wide smirk on his face. Gosh, how Regulus wanted to kiss those lips. Instead he just smiled. His genuine curved down smile, a rarity.
"You're gonna get in trouble, you know that right?"
"Since when do I, James Potter, the king of mischief, care about that?" That grin again. Black could stare for hours, take in every detail of the handsome Gryffindor's face.
"You're an idiot."
#trans regulus#trans regulus black#marauders#marauders era#the marauders#marauders fandom#harry potter marauders#dead gay wizards#regulus black#james potter#jegulus#starchaser#sunseeker#Oops I'm too early for this prompt#Well... Now it's done#I got too excited ok??#Now I have to finish this series#And then I can go on with the microfic jegulus prompts#I desperately need to write other ships#It's not even my favourite#I'm a Wolfstar stan
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this started off as a small project for a friend i'm trying to recruit before spiraling wildly out of control. struggled on how to structure it but oh well i had fun. love me a flowchart
#i was working on this on and off for months adding more and more people so you can see the style changes lmao#if people who haven't watched gintama stumble across this i'm desperate to know what you infer about these guys. which are villains etc#tried to show off each of their personalities/vibes but there are definitely a few fakeouts#i'd like to think it's how they'd look if they were posing for a picture#sakata gintoki#shimura shinpachi#kagura#sakamoto tatsuma#katsura kotarou#takasugi shinsuke#hijikata toushirou#kondo isao#okita sougo#shimura otae#yagyuu kyuubei#ok that's it i'm gonna run out of tags if i try to do everyone#gintama#gintama fanart#anime#art#artists on tumblr#my art#wow that's a lot of tags but i just want some people to see this and chuckle#screeds
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dragon age: the veilguard | arlathan forest
#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#arlathan forest#datv#dav#i desperately want to explore out of bounds here but 1) i dunno how and 2) i'm pretty sure out of bounds lacks collision#which makes me a sad little rule breaker :(#i can take the camera out of bounds at least :D#also i'm begging the veil jumpers to investigate whatever is making all their conifers die! invasive insects? drought?#i live in a conifer forest it is BAD when you have so many dead ones ok. pls. it's a tinderbox!#da4#da#i made this#hmm should i have a landscapes tag? sure why not#dav landscapes
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literally not gonna get anything done until i've figured out whether there's actually something wrong with my heart or if it's just anxiety so i booked an ekg lets hope they can do it tomorrow so i can get some PEACEEEE
#it hasn't gotten any worse so thats good i think the new meds are fine#but it also hasn't gotten any better even though i haven't taken ritalin in almost a week#idk i don't like that it kept being weird all the days i didn't take any meds at all#hopefully just anxiety! but!#unfortunately the signs of anxiety and about ten different heart problems are the exact same. so.#i haven't had health anxiety in my fucking life so i'm like 🤨#i wouldn't be that stressed about it if i didn't like desperately need to work on the cookbook and to do so i desperately need the meds#and all stimulants are scary when idk if the last ones fucked me up or not#Lets Hope Its Fine#ok my arm hurts now so im literally dying though like fr#its fine.
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We're going to save your brother.
#mario movie#mario movie spoilers#super mario bros#super mario bros movie#super mario bros movie spoilers#princess peach#mareach#cherrysip edits#I FEEL LIKE THIS MOMENT DID NOT GET THE ATTENTION AND APPRECIATION IT DESERVED ON HERE#man i could write you an essay about this#i do think that the 'i'm not afraid! i'll do anything for my brother' line actually ISN'T said during this scene - it's probably earlier#but that this line IS in the right place (peach's mouth movements match)#which means that scene is going to break me because it just seems like a very vulnerable sweet moment between them#where peach and mario get to talk about the situation they're in and their fears and how big the stakes are for both of them#peach fighting to protect her kingdom and her subjects - the immense pressure on her to stop bowser because of her role as a leader#and mario desperately trying to save his brother - not knowing if luigi is ok or not and not being able to keep him safe is so painful#i think that's why mario doesn't have his hat on - the adventure is starting to weigh on him and he opens up to peach for the first time#about him and luigi and their closeness and how he CAN'T lose his brother he CAN'T let him down when he needs him more than ever#and peach reassures him and it means the world. even in this quick clip there's something a little sad about his face#but also there's relief and gratefulness to her for saying that. they're the absolute sweetest :) :) :)#i could be off base but that really does seem like the vibe of this scene from what we've seen and i am ALL ABOUT IT
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Grayson Davenport Hawthorne you give love a bad name.
#the inheritance games#the grandest game#grayson hawthorne#jameson hawthorne#avery grambs#nash hawthorne#lyra kane#xander hawthorne#graydaddy#im on my knees#is it mentally ok to be this obsessed with tgg?#bon Jovi#he should be grateful bc i only use this when I'm so desperately in love
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I'm just gonna say it again real quick:
Yes!! Iron Man is a tragedy! It has and always has been since the very first appearance in 1963 which describes itself, Tony's life, and legacy, as such.
Tony causes most of his issues himself, he is his biggest villain, a majority of his rogues gallery are caricatures of the worst versions of himself brought to life (when they're not just being racist cuz...60s...). The worst thing about being Tony Stark is that he can't stop being Tony Stark (he tried!!) That is the point.
The majority of pain Tony goes through, is pain he inflicts on himself, whether intentionally or inadvertently. That is the point.
He is not A villain (at least. Not usually. There are...some rough moments and arcs that are. Not great. As there is with any character as old as he is). But he is his own main antagonist.
#I—just—*slams fists on floor*—I WANNA PUT HIM IN A PIETRI DISH AND VIOLENTLY SHAKE HIM#tony stark#iron man#616 tony stark#marvel#marvel comics#*screams cries throws up* IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HIS CHARACTER WAS ASSASSINATED IN 2005 IN A WAY THAT HASN'T BEEN RECOVERED FROM YET#***starts openly weeping*** if the next main IM series is bad it'll have been 20 years of this shit make it STOOOOOP#being his own antagonist! his actions and mental state and poor judgement calls reaonates with people!!#I'm wildly under qualified to talk about this stuff but#I feel like that's *why* people with mental health issues. self esteem issues. addiction issues. flock to him.#he is not a BAD person. he is a person. who makes mistakes. and devastates himself. and even leaves himself half dead sometimes.#who doubts himself. is simultaneously oversensitive and alarmingly oblivious. he is a mess. that is a fundamental requirement of being him#that. resonates with people. it's *relatable*. Tony Stark is a lightning rod of interest for people...like him. hurting. sad. desperate.#and he brings *enjoyment*. he brings jokes. comfort.#he brings hope#because if a guy like *that* can be *iron man*...maybe we'll all be ok too#it's solidarity but also it's a kick in the right direction. it's saying ''it's ok that this is how you feel. I'm right there with you.''#''but you can't stay here forever. we always need to try''#Iron Man is and always has been about the future. after all.
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I would say that, considering his history, he's not that wrong, but even I have doubts as to whether that would be right. But at the end of the day, this is just a joke that's been in my head for a while, sooooo…eh.
Oh hey, an attempt at a comic? Made by me? That I didn't give up during the process or lost all motivation? What was my only attempt at this, 2019? Damn, it's been a long time.
I thought about leaving this here without editing or any colors, just the natural ones from the paper and pencil. But something in my head said "HAHAHA, no" so I went back to work. I had to put this idea down on paper this time (literally). If another year passes without me being able to execute this idea, I would lose my mind.
This scenario was inspired by this video by Jehtt, inspired by the original meme by Windii. Credits to both of them.
For a long time I wanted to joke - especially on the anniversary - that I wanted Sammy to only have less than 5 seconds in the next game (or in other words, take his screen time in DR, and shorten it even more). You know, just for the funnies (unless..?) But,thanks to the news released at the beginning of January this year about The Cage, I legally can't do this joke anymore…this year. Don't worry, after that comes out (and finally gives Sam the screen time he wants,hopefully) and we start to crawl into the Bendy 3 production era, I'll make this joke when I can.
Anyway, happy birthday Sammy Lawrence. You may not be my favorite character in this franchise, but there are some things I can actually appreciate about you. Plus, you made me laugh a few moments before (you know what I'm talking about) so there's that.
And happy 7 years to Chapter 2, and by extension, Susie, Norman, Alice, the Searchers, (Johnny????), and Beta Ink Bendy. (I would mention Jack too, but he was only introduced with the release of CH4, so technically it's not his birthday yet, but I'll consider him here).
And now? May I be able to do something for CH4's anniversary. Wish me luck,cus I'll need it.
(it might be really late now, but it's still the 18th where I live, so it's still his birthday, so I still won)
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#bendy and the dark revival#batdr#sammy lawrence#porter batdr#batdr porter#crookedsmileart#another fun fact: I thought of this comic with Wally in mind instead of Porter#Problem is I don't have any designs at the moment of Wally as his ink counterpart;and I didn't want to have to think of a design for him no#So I switched to Porter;I think it still fits#my relationship with Sammy is complicated#Sammy; as the human director of the music department? He is ok. He's not my favorite of the human cast; but I don't dislike him. He's fine#Sammy; the prophet? Eehhh. I prefer the human.#Like there are things I can actually appreciate about him.#Certain details that I find interesting. And his appearance in CH2; for what it is; it's not bad at all.#But in general? I'm not very interested in this guy (at least;this version of him) And his post-CH2 appearances don't really help his cause#I still believe they had no plan to bring Sammy back later in the story#but because of his popularity they decided “yep;let's bring him back”; problem is: I don't think they knew what to do with him after CH2#and one might argue that they still don't know#Hopefully;The Cage will finally give Sammy the screen time he so desperately needs.#and maybe; then; I can finally start to like him a little more (okay; let's not go that far now)#Maybe his deaths in the franchise aren't his happiest moments; but they were definitely mine#HAHAHAHAAHHA (/j.....unless)
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I find it hard to believe "Dock Town's dutiful daughter" wouldn't have any gossips about her, especially her love life
#neve gallus#dragon age the veilguard#yeah I'm desperate for more tidbits on my wife ok?#also gossips mean everyone know we're together and I crave that shit#like back off she's mine#also I've just discovered that if Lavellan romances Solas and is pusuaded to be with him she'll ask about Rook's relationship#No comment from Rook but it's just so funny to me that two world saviours are gushing over their LIs#Otp: Permanent Trouble
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