#but i'd die for them
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I am never playing Gartic Phone with my siblings again-
Keep in mind,, only two of my siblings know/watch TBB.
When I saw my sister's (Bananaman) drawing of Tech with his receding hair I lost it. She was like "He fell right??" And I was like "Yes 😔"
#my siblings are awful#i love them#hate them#can't stand them#but i'd die for them#anyways if i had a dollar for everytime one of them made fun of tech's death i'd be so rich#refuse to believe he's dead though#okay but the bad batch playing gartic phone?#i'd love to see that#tbb#the bad batch#tbb tech#tech bad batch
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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I wish we could have met in some other way.
Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates
If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3
Still frames/Individual gifs:
If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#oh god here we go#death note jdrama#death note 2015#death note 2006#death note musical#lctw#l change the world#dntm#lawlightweek2024#my art#collapses i am NEVER putting this much effort in one piece ever again /hj this was the Only one i had mostly prepared in advance#ironically the most painstaking part about making this entire thing was converting the images into an animated file#that wasn't either horrifically compressed or just. wouldn't loop. why do gifs have to look so BAD it's so inconvenient#and THEN i realized I had to forcibly Stitch the two animations together so they would actually be synced and it wouldn't look dumb#and the end result is STILL so compressed. because Tumblr. uhhh just don't click on it it'll look so scuffed LOL. anyways#this is what i get for watching Every Adaptation of Death Note. i am a death note multiverse truther#usually i'd have something clever to say in the tags but. this drained the life out of me just uh.#yeah. they're doomed in every universe. this is the only way they could've met. they are doomed by their own natures and the#circumstances that surround them. there is no universe where light tries to prevent L's death. and even in the cases where L Doesn't die#there is no universe where L can save light. there is no universe where he can truly “catch” Kira and make him see where he went wrong#(<- if you read LCTW you know. :) )#in every universe and adaptation L will call Light his first friend. in some universes they'll take that notion more seriously than others#no matter what one of them will die due to the other. its the only constant. it's the only way it can ever be. they are the others downfall
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one thing about todoroki is he is always down. deku sends a location with no context? he's there. illegal plan to rescue bakugou from a group of dangerous villains headed by the evil overlord with exactly four (4) of his classmates? he's in. he sees deku and bakugou fucking off in the middle of war with no explanation? immediately he's following.
#the second this boy made some friends he said if anything happened to them i'd kill everyone in this room and then myself#need a ride or die like shouto#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#todoroki shouto#bakugo katuski#midoriya izuku#origin trio
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why are all my favorite ships just autistic and murderous little gay men?
#The traits assigned are not exclusive to either character I just consider it predominant#My little guys#I'd die for them#Supernatural#spn#destiel#dean winchester#castiel#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#six of crows#shadow and bone#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#wesper
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#I'll be a skibidi toilet defender until the day i die idc#it's one of the few pieces of media that gen alpha enjoys that isn't taking advantage of them for advertising or marketing purposes#it's just an indie animation made by some guy and I'd take it over shit like cocomelon that's purposely overstimulating children for profit#the legend of zelda#loz#tloz#ganondorf#good advice ganondorf#good advice#young zelda#princess Zelda#link#young link#skibidi toilet
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hm....maybe just..One more of this guy
#fairly oddparents#peri cosma#peri x irep#irep#my art#saw sm art of them i needed to do this or i'd die
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Delicious Things
#guilty gear#baiken#anji mito#anbai#my art#sometimes you just gotta draw your otp slow dancing#I kept thinking of some of Wolf Alice's Blue Weekend songs when making this but then Snail Mail's Valentine also snuck its way in there#But occasionally I think about how maybe he'd be able to let her experience the more pleasantly mundane parts of life while traveling#and maybe for a little bit they can pretend that she's not out for a revenge that may eventually consume her#flash forward idk how many years and now they can do whatever they want and honestly? good for them#If I could get some more content of them dancing together I think I'd die happy but until then I gotta keep cooking for myself I guess
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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Alright, so this is basically...an art dump for all the pics i drew when i was trying to draft the ending i wanted my Odile looping Au 'Like a Wheel Ever Turning' which...is not even SLIGHTLY how this fic is going to end now, but while figuring that out i still like draw all this and had to do SOMETHING with it.
So figured I'd post it and be like 'hey! fun Odile looping act 5 boss fight vibes not connected to anything else!' since like...that basic IS what they are at this point lol.
The one cool idea i loved that i think is now FIRMLY ditched is the act 5 boss fight starts when Odile uses wish craft to splinter herself into two halves.
The 'old/current' her that is meant to be her coldly logical side, and a younger 'copy' version, which is meant to be the childish irrational side...that is what's stopping her just shutting down the time loop because she can't figure out how to be happy with her friends leaving.
I mean, if you murder the part of you that WANTS the wish to come true, that's basically a 'get out of time loop free card' right? Right! Totally sound logic!
Yes the 'young' version of her firmly believes that she's real, and also also got memories going up to about age 21, and also that she ought to be in Ka Bue not HERE among these french weirdos.
Also yes again, a 'young' Odile is EXACTLY as unhinged about this as you'd expect a 21 year old to be upon finding out that apparently the 'real' her think murdering her is the correct solution to this problem!
The shift of the fight was meant to have the inverse 'colors' shift from one version to the other by the end, wrapping up with the point where the 'original' Odile is forced to have a heart to heart with the personification of her perceived 'worst' qualities.
Pretty sure the vibes for this ending was a lot more focused on the resolution of having deeply complex feeling about EXPRESSING emotion directly to other people. That along with a side helping of how isolating it is to be perceived as a 'real' adult such that you can't be weak enough to ask anyone for help. Because really if you can't even be that then why are you any different then when you were irritating mess of a youth?
Not saying any of that isn't still present in the story, but like...there is a LOT of other stuff going on, and those themes are now linked into many other ones too, and that's not even TOUCHING on how Loop's been...somewhat complicating my redrafting lol.
...Also I might have drawn/plotted this version before i knew about two-hats lol. THAT also is a factor.
Anyway! Still liked all of these enough to want to do SOMETHING with them, and figured this worked, so i could like map out my thoughts on them, even if i never got to write this.
#isat#in stars and time#isat odile#odile looping au#I might have written out like...way too many edgy and utterly disjointed notes for this fight too?#but none of THAT compelled enough for me to want to try and even reread it lol#drew all of this in fever state of creativity back in like september i think?#kept having the thought of 'oh i'll make SOME of it work in the main story'#HA no i didn't - that was the denial and wishful thinking talking#Like there was even a version where the 'young' odile had to do the whole final loop with the group#and that's what forced Loop to join them - to keep her alive no matter the 'other' her's attempts to kill her#while 'old' odile took the place of the king during that final run#'young' odile was DEEPLY weird at the rest of the group for the record - while they were also weirded out + low key endeared#Also before the even knew who the 'final battle' was against young odile HAD loudly declared she was willing to die for 'you weirdos' soooo#Ah to be young unhinged and realised people CAN love you despite that...and that apparently this is reason to commit a murder to AVOID#...if i had a nickle for everytime i wrote a odile looping au where she tried to murder herself#i'd have two nickles#which isn't a lot but ect ect#this one is WAY more serious with it tho lol#my art#like a wheel ever turning au
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Mel do you have a s6 Subz design by chance? 👀 s6 subzam’s perchance??? -🚬 (Subz Anon)
i didn't, before now.
#☆ inbox .#☆ my art .#lifesteal smp#itzsubz#threw it together literally right now#shes beautidful#imagine your ex shows up to save you looking like this#i'd die i think /silly#idk how zam did it#(i didnt watch the stream btw)#i promise ill draw s6 subzam soon im still thinking about them
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state of deltarune theories is so so bad cuz they all try to connect back to the theme of escapism without noticing that that theme isn't even in deltarune.
#the personification of noelle's overbearing mother follows her around throughout the cyber world.#and she spends the entire game scared and confused and alone. until the very end where she's forced to stand up to that figure that scares#-so much. not because she went through any eye opening adventure where she learned to be more brave-#-but because her friends were literally about to die.#she didn't grow at her own pace. she was forced to speak up at the last moment.#kris gets a weird effigy of their brother forced on them as a romantic interest without their say in the matter-#-because they literally cannot speak their mind.#and gosh. the most defying example. berdly.#he spends the entire game trying to build an actual escapist fantasyland. with all his shtick about making a 'smartopia'.#but it never works out.#berdly keeps trying to live that escapist fantasy. a fantasy where he's the hero and gets the girl at the end (the girl being susie)#but he never gets that.#absolutely nothing in the game points at it being about escapism in any shape or form.#hell. I'd say dark worlds don't even reflect what the lightners want in any way.#kris doesn't get friends because of the dark worlds. but because of *us*.#we. the player. is the the one making the right choices for kris.#deltarune is much more interested in exploring what it means to be stuck in a narrative-#-that forces per assigned roles on characters that don't want those roles than it is ever about escapism.#like. did everyone miss the huge player shaped elephant in the room or what.#✏️
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God, I love this
I would give a kidney and part of my liver to have an Arkhamverse show or movie
#i'd die for them#your liver can grow back if enough is left#roguesgallery#gotham rogues#batman rogues#arkhamverse#arkham knight#batman rogues gallery#riddler#poison ivy#harley quinn#penguin#two face#edward nigma#oswalda cobblepot#harvey dent#harleen quinzel#pamela isley
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I'M-
LOOK AT EM-
THEY'RE SO FREAKING LIL AND CHUBBY CHEEKED I CAN'T OH MY GODDDDD-
#oli talks#ooc#muns ramblings#mindless ramblings of a madman#gravity falls#gf#gravity falls book#gf book#gravity falls lost legends#gf lost legends#gravity falls spoilers#gravity falls stanley#gravity falls stanford#gravity falls ford pines#gravity falls stan pines#gf stanford#gf stanley#stanford pines#stanley pines#stan pines#ford pines#stan and ford#pines twins#mystery twins#original mystery twins#kid stan and ford#I'M WEEPING THEY'RE SO SMOL AND PRECIOUS#*proceeds to gently hold them* Fuck I'd die for them you don't understand
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thinking about that "I don't have anyone close to me" line 🤔
#hunter x hunter#hxh#senritsu#melody hxh#maybe all it means is that she doesn't have a ride-or-die twin/bff like kacho & fugetsu but i wonder#my baby are you lonely.....#as much as i'd like to believe she & kurapika are friends we don't really have evidence atm that they're more than just amiable coworkers#who trust each other's skills#i can picture them hovering right on the line between friends & acquaintances so that he doesn't feel the need to cut her off#but does she have anyone to like Talk to
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"rio said to agatha 'that boy isn't yours' because she was telling her teen wasn't nicky" is an okay explanation. but since fempreg is possible in the AAA universe, far more entertaining is the idea that agatha already knew that teen was billy maximoff and was trying to work out if her strapping wanda in the hex had somehow accidentally gotten her knocked up with twins
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#wandavision#wanda maximoff#wanda x agatha#agathario is cute and i'd die for them but agatha was comprehensively topping wanda in wandavision argue with the wall#dick van dyke show know what im saying#rio vidal#agathario#wandavision is a wlw show again argue with the wall pt2#manifesting awkward lesbian reunion with wanda in AAA season 2
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