#but i’ve written 2 million words of fic

[liketolaugh-writes]

So there’s a video on YouTube that’s a list of mistakes fanfiction writers might make when making the jump to original work. That list is stupid. Those are generically amateur errors, not fanfiction errors.

Here is an (incomplete) list of actual errors that I’m now ironing out of my work:

- You need to describe things. Tell the readers how old your character is. Tell them what they look like, what they’re wearing, what their room is like. Keep the juicy bits for later, but you need all the basics up front.

- You need that setting. You need clothes. You need a house and a precise time period and a societal system. In fic, all of those are provided for you, and your readers know them. But you’re in charge of those nuts-and-bolts details now.

- Your first draft is garbage. Seriously. With fanfiction, you can pull together a reasonably good first draft, because you have a vivid and colorful framework to work with. In original fiction, you need to build that framework before you can write those glowing, emotional scenes that you’re used to.

- You need to work to get readers invested in your characters. In the beginning, you can’t start with the vulnerability and the insecurity. You can allude to it, but not focus on it. They need to see that your character can be strong or clever or kind before their heart can break for that character. (This is also a mistake that many writers make with OCs in fanfiction!)

- If the scene doesn’t achieve something, cut it out. We here in fanfiction love marinating in the feelings of a work, we love our 300k slow-burn stories, we depict everything in loving detail - but original work isn’t like that. You have your plot, your character arcs, and your relationships, and every scene needs to move at least one of those forward in a tangible way. The first Harry Potter book is just under 80k. Keep that figure in mind.

[dancingbirdie]

Okay so on Astarion, I was reading this fic about him not knowing Tavs true intentions with him and it bothering Astarion a lot, so what if he goes to some mage or magic user and asks them to show Tavs true intentions to him, when he does the vision he sees is just... being snuggled. It's Tav on top of him and the both of you are falling asleep, his hands are under your shirt softly petting your skin as your sleepy self is contently snuggled up to him. I just start crying about him finding out that Tavs DASTARDLY and EVIL plan with him, their greatest desire from him... is to simply be held. 🥺

Hi @goblin-creatcher! Thank you so much for this BEAUTIFUL prompt. I, uhh, kind of took it and went a million miles an hour with it. This is honestly one of my favorite things I've ever written. I hope you enjoy it as well! xoxoxo

Something Imagined / Something Real

Word Count: 3.9K

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Astarion x f!Tav

Warnings/Tags: Brief but detailed description of rough consensual sex, descriptions and references to Astarion's trauma/trauma responses, minor Act 1 and Act 2 spoilers, FLUFF, angst

Suggested Song Pairing: Slow Dancing in A Burning Room (Stripped) - cover by ST LUNA

Summary: Astarion has been suspicious of Tav’s true intentions toward him. He persuades Gale to cast a spell and reveal her motivations. ANGST and FLUFF ensue. A rewriting of Astarion’s confession scene from Act 2.

The sun had just begun to set on the campsite when Astarion decided to put his plan into action. He had waited until Tav departed with some of the other party members before making his way over to the wizard. Gale was too busy reassembling the bookshelf inside his tent to notice Astarion’s approach. It wasn’t until he gave a polite cough that Gale jumped and whirled to face him. 

“No, no, no,” he began all at once, hands raised in a sort of shooing motion. Astarion stared at him in confusion. “I can respect Tav’s indulging in your need for blood, but as I’ve said before: I taste terrible.” 

Astarion scoffed. “Charming. Actually, wizard, I was coming to request your aid in a different, though somewhat related, matter.”

“Really? Care to elaborate?” Gale responded, still somewhat wary. It wasn’t often he found himself alone with the vampire. 

“Testy, I see,” Astarion crooned teasingly. His knee-jerk response to people treating him like a monster, to behave in the most false saccharine sort of way. 

But he drew up short, censoring himself before saying anything else he might regret. He knew he needed to get on the wizard’s good side if he had any chance of getting the answers he sought. 

“I was hoping you knew a spell to reveal someone’s true intentions. Their… motivations for behaving in a certain way, so to speak,” he finished more seriously. 

Gale pondered the question for a moment before answering. 

“Hmm… yes, there is magic to determine that sort of thing… Although it’s been some time since I practiced it…” He trailed off, rubbing his chin in thought. 

“Why are you asking for such a thing?” he asked suddenly. 

Astarion had been prepared for this question, of course. No one did anything for free, no questions asked. He delivered his explanation perfectly, as he’d been rehearsing in his mind.

“One might say our dear sweet Tav and I have been growing a bit… closer these days, but I can sense a master manipulator when I see one. I just simply want to ensure their intentions toward me - toward the party - are true,” he replied with mock innocence. 

“Ah, yes,” Gale nodded. “I gathered as much when the two of you slipped away from the tiefling’s party a few nights ago.” 

“But,” he continued on,��I needn’t think you should worry when it comes to Tav. She seems about as transparent as they come. I’m sure any intentions she has toward you are true.”

Yes, but the best actors always mask their motivations behind innocence and transparency, Astarion thought to himself. I should know. I’ve been doing it for centuries.

After the party’s unfortunate meeting with that Gur in the Sunlit Wetlands, Astarion realized he would have to take potential threats from Cazador even more seriously. He wasn’t about to lose his freedom, not now that he finally had some small taste of it. 

It didn’t hurt to be more suspicious of everyone he encountered, even the sweetling Tav. Anyone could be an operative sent by Cazador, and the best ones would be as skilled as he was in the art of manipulation. It was well-known at this point that the person he’d grown the closest to on their journey was their brave party leader, Tav. Unlikely as it may be that she was scheming for his master, Astarion’s paranoia wouldn’t let him indulge in interactions with her a second longer unless he knew how she truly felt. 

Given Gale’s hesitation, Astarion knew he would have to kick his acting up a notch. Press on that wizard’s heartstrings. Touch the one nerve he knew he was sensitive to.

“Gale, darling, from one literally damaged soul to another, indulge me just this once,” Astarion beseeched him. 

The wizard glared at him a moment, before finally relenting with a heavy sigh. “Fine. Fine. But I want it known that I don’t agree with this so-called solution one whit,” he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Yes, yes, noted and formally documented, on my word as a former Baldurian magistrate,” Astarion replied cheerily. “So, let’s hop to it then, shall we?”

“What, right now?” Gale asked, shocked. “Shouldn’t we be, I don’t know, a little less conspicuous?” 

“What better time than now?” Astarion responded. “Tav’s out gathering firewood with Wyll and Karlach. They won’t be back for some time. As for Lae’zel and Shadowheart, well…” he paused, gesturing over his shoulder. 

Said two were engaged in a heated sparring session on the outskirts of the camp. Snarls and curses could be heard emanating from both warriors as they tried, and failed, to gain the upper hand against their opponent.

“That lovers’ dance could go on until morning,” Astarion finished. 

“Fair point,” Gale admitted begrudgingly, grimacing at the sound of swords clashing violently. “Very well. Let’s get started.” 

Clearing his throat, Gale began to utter a series of phrases completely foreign to Astarion. He watched as the wizard began moving his hands in a wavelike pattern, forming a circle before them. Suddenly, a mist began to form from seemingly thin air, taking shape according to the boundaries Gale’s hands were creating. The mist grew more and more opaque until it appeared before them like a clouded mirror. 

As the fogginess of the ethereal magic began to clear, the “mirror” became a confusing blur of scenes whipping by, too fast for Astarion or Gale to really comprehend. There were flashes of Tav and Astarion, together and separate, but they disappeared too quickly to ascertain their context. It was as though the spell was shuffling through the entirety of Tav’s thoughts, assessing each one at breakneck speed. 

Finally, the spell slowed to a halt, stopping on one scene in particular. Astarion was struck speechless by what began playing out in the foggy portal before them. So distracted, he didn’t even notice Gale’s tight cough, or how the wizard suddenly became intensely interested in a copse of trees nearby, rather than the revelation the spell was revealing.

Not that the scene was especially profound, objectively speaking. In fact, to anyone else, it might be viewed as the least revelatory thing possible that the spell could have shown. Boring. Inconsequential, even. But to Astarion, it was almost earth shattering. 

He saw himself - he could see his face! - with Tav, lying tangled together in some immaculate four-poster bed. 

That was the first shock that coursed through him, nearly causing his knees to buckle. He was seeing himself for the first time in over 200 years. Or at least, he was seeing himself as Tav saw him. And… the person he saw… Well, he was gorgeous. White blonde locks, curled and tousled in a devil-may-care sort of way. A strong, patrician nose that suggested good breeding. High, sharp cheekbones. Full lips, upturned in a thoughtless grin. Red eyes bordered by long, sweeping lashes. Delicately pointed elven ears. Smooth alabaster skin, without blemish or spot. 

Astarion could scarcely believe his own eyes. 

The second shock to his system was the nature of their activities. He would have been less surprised had the vision shown them fucking. Him taking her roughly from behind perhaps. His name a cry of ecstasy from her lips as he pistoned in and out of her with a feral sort of determination. 

Fantasies of lust, of total domination, now those were things he was familiar with inspiring in the minds of the victims he had taken as lovers. It was what he strove for, in all honesty. Desire like that all but ensured he would capture his prey and live to serve another day for his master. 

But nothing of the sort was occurring between vision-Tav and himself. Instead, they were just… embracing? What in sweet hells was this?

She lay halfway on top of him. Her hair was mussed, perhaps from sleep or perhaps from previous lovemaking. One hand was drawing absentminded shapes across his chest, her lips trailing behind, leaving kisses in their wake. He watched as vision-Astarion chuckled softly, as his hands slipped beneath her sleepshirt to caress her waist, as he placed an innocent kiss on the top of Tav’s head. Eventually, she reached for his hand. They both watched their fingers intertwine, blissfully content.

It was the purest, unadulterated expression of affection that Astarion had ever seen. Something in his heart quaked at the sight of it. He wanted that moment. He envied, he hated, vision-Astarion for enjoying such apparent happiness.

So absorbed in the vision and its implications, Astarion failed to notice the soft padding of feet that indicated someone’s re-entry into the camp. 

“If the two of you are quite finished poking around in my head,” an angry voice suddenly spat from behind them, “I’d appreciate you preserving what little privacy I have left and shutting that damn spell off.”

Mortified, Astarion and Gale turned to see Tav, arms crossed and visibly seething with rage. Gale quickly dispelled the magic with a flick of his wrist. A blush was slowly but surely rising up Tav’s neck to reach her cheeks. Whether from rage or embarrassment, Astarion couldn’t be certain. 

“Tav, let us explain-” Astarion started.

“It was his idea-” Gale blurted at the same time, pointing at Astarion. 

Both paused, glaring at one another. But Tav would have none of their feeble attempts at backpedaling. 

“The explanation doesn’t matter. Whose idea it was doesn’t matter. The fact is that both of you violated the privacy of my mind, which I’ll remind you, has ALREADY been violated by having a bloody tadpole forced inside of it!” Tav shouted. At their words, the camp became enveloped in a heavy silence. Even the crickets ceased their chirping.

Astarion cringed inwardly, knowing the other party members could plainly hear this altercation and had likely stopped whatever it was that they had been doing to listen in. He noted the sounds of swords clanging together had ceased. He was certain Lae’zel and Shadowheart at least were aware of what was happening. Nosy bastards, all of them.

But what disturbed him even more was the realization that Tav’s eyes were welling with tears. She was too proud to acknowledge them or wipe them away. Such was her nature. But they were there nonetheless, and the knowledge that Astarion had brought her to the point of tears was enough to spur a rush of utter self-loathing inside him.

Without another word, Tav turned on her heel and marched stiffly out of camp, toward the direction of a nearby creek they’d identified as a water source earlier in the day.

“I can’t believe I let you convince me to perform that spell,” Gale said as she disappeared between the trees. He dragged his hands down his face. 

“How could we have been so doltish, forgetting that all of our privacies have already been violated with this tadpole business?”

Astarion didn’t have an answer to that. At least, not one the wizard could possibly understand. 

The thought hadn’t occurred to Astarion, he realized, because violations of privacy had been something so intrinsic to his being for over 200 years. He didn’t even recognize it as something abnormal. Like a fish unaware that the water surrounding it is, in fact, water. 

Violations of privacy were a part of life, at least for him. So much so that his request for Gale to perform that magic hadn’t even occurred to him as an overstepping of boundaries. To Astarion, it had simply been a matter of survival. He had needed to know another potentially manipulative person’s true intentions, and so he had found a means to uncover it and maintain the upper hand. 

Belatedly, he also realized that Gale’s hesitation to cast the spell had had nothing to do with being inconvenienced for the evening, but because the wizard had known that it was improper to do to another person. If he had misread that, Astarion wondered, then what other truly benevolent behaviors had he mistaken as pragmatic manipulation?

“I need to go find her,” Astarion murmured, clenching and unclenching his fists in an uncharacteristic fit of uncertainty. 

“Yes, you do,” Gale asserted. “We both owe her a sincere apology… if she’ll even accept it.”

“I’ll see if I can convince her to come back to camp,” Astarion replied, making to leave in the direction Tav had stormed off. 

“Wait,” Gale said, a hand on his shoulder. Astarion turned to meet his gaze. 

“Look, well, I’m obviously not an expert in healthy demonstrations of affection. But I do think it’s obvious from what you saw in that spell that Tav well and truly cares about you. In perhaps the purest way possible. Treat that carefully.”

Part of Astarion wanted to laugh aloud in utter hopelessness at the wizard’s advice. Someone cared for him? Truly and purely? No hidden games, no strings attached? Oh certainly, that wouldn’t be a problem for Astarion at all. Obviously, his 200-year existence as a master-manipulator-fetch-hound for a power-hungry vampire lord had perfectly prepared him to respond to this situation in a healthy manner. Obviously.

But all that was too much to reveal to someone he barely knew and too heavy to say aloud. Rather than giving some smarmy retort, Astarion opted instead to give a stiff nod and continue walking toward the edge of camp. He had no idea how he could make things right with Tav, but at the very least he could try. 

***

He found Tav sitting on a fallen tree near the edge of the creek bed. Her legs were drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around them as she rested a cheek to her knees. In the waning twilight, she reminded Astarion of some misbegotten gargoyle perched on the roof of a temple, solitary and so very sad. 

Her ears twitched as she noted his arrival. Astarion wasn’t trying to be stealthy. On top of everything else, the last thing he needed to do was scare her. 

“Can I join you?” he asked softly, wincing to himself at the awkwardness of the question. 

The reality was that there was no way to broach this conversation without some stilted beginning, and he hated it. Navigating tricky conversations was normally something he excelled at. But as he was quickly finding, when it related to Tav, nothing in his past life had prepared him to respond to her well. 

“If you’d like,” Tav answered tonelessly. 

Knowing it was probably the best response he was going to get, Astarion swallowed thickly and moved to sit down on the log next to her. 

“I… wanted to… apologize for what you saw, back at camp,” he began.

“Apologize for doing it, or apologize for getting caught?” Tav asked as she turned her head to look at him, resting her other cheek on her knees. 

Astarion balked at the question. Her piercing gaze unnerved him. He hadn’t really thought that far. 

“Both, I suppose?” he answered honestly, although it sounded more like a question to Tav. She huffed a laugh.

“You know, part of me really wants to yell at you. Scream in your face. Tell you off proper,” she mused.

“So why don’t you?” Astarion asked, perplexed. 

Tav didn’t respond at first, just sat there studying him. As if by staring at him long enough, she could project the answer into his mind. 

Astarion didn’t interrupt her, much as he would have liked to. Part of him always bristled when people gazed at him for too long. It was unfair that they could study him, when he hadn’t been able to so much as glance at his reflection in over 200 years. 

Finally, Tav released a heavy sigh, her body curling further in on itself. She closed her eyes as she spoke.

“Because then I would be just like every other bastard in your life who’s mistreated you.”

Astarion flinched in surprise. Those had not been the sort of words he’d been expecting. The truth of them cut deeper than had she raged at him like she wanted to. It left him feeling even more vulnerable, and that in turn made him want to retreat into the comfort of viciousness.

“I don’t need you to pull any punches,” he scoffed, glaring at her. “Go ahead and say what you will.”

She straightened up at his tone, opening her eyes and returning his glare. 

“No. I don’t want to,” she said testily.

“I don’t need your pity,” he hissed. “It’s insulting.”

“Gods damn it all, Astarion!” Tav exclaimed suddenly, causing him to jump in surprise. She threw her hands up in defeat. “I’m not doing anything out of pity! I don’t want to rage at you, because I know that whatever I say right now, I won’t mean it come the morning!”

Astarion blinked. Once again he was left feeling flat footed by the turn of the conversation. Sensing his surprise, Tav continued on with her deluge of words.

“You hurt me tonight, and I’m angry at you - and at Gale, for that matter - for what you did. But you’ve shared enough of your… history… with me, that I realize your behavior is just… just a byproduct of centuries of abuse and manipulation you’ve endured! And I won’t be another abuser in your life. I won’t,” she asserted. 

Astarion continued staring at her, as if she were some otherworldly creature that had just wandered across his path. He watched as Tav inhaled a deep breath, releasing it shakily. She turned away from him to peer out into the forest, uncertain. She opened and closed her mouth several times before actually speaking. As if whatever she was about to say was more intimidating to her than anything else she’d said tonight. 

“I… care deeply for you, Astarion,” she said quietly. “You obviously saw that in the vision. I’m not playing any games. There’s no hidden motive. I’m not trying to manipulate you.”

She turned to look at him again before continuing, her breathing a bit unsteady. 

“I didn’t sleep with you that night of the tiefling party as some sort of maneuver to gain your trust. Although I understand if that was your motivation for doing so.” 

Astarion’s expression morphed into one of guilt. But Tav nodded soberly, as if she had already expected it, before continuing on. 

“It’s okay. I’m not angry. But I’m putting all my cards on the table now, so to speak. Actually, your decision tonight forced my hand, but I had been planning on telling you soon anyway. So, there you have it. The truth of my intentions. What you do with that information is up to you.”

She turned back to gaze out at their surroundings. Like she was giving him the opportunity to bolt away without her watching him. As if she expected him to flee from her confession. 

But Astarion didn’t flee. He remained seated, staring at her in complete wonderment. 

“Why?” he asked quietly.

She looked back at him again, confusion evident on her face. 

“Why what?”

“Why do you care for me? You’re so… well-adjusted. And I’m well… this,” he finished lamely, placing a hand on his chest. 

Tav pursed her lips. “It would be a mistake to misconstrue my empathy for you as me being well-adjusted. Everyone has their own demons, Astarion,” she murmured. “Mine just look different from yours.”

Astarion mulled her words over in his mind, considering them. He leaned forward to brace his forearms on his knees, his head drooping slightly. 

“I…,” he started, unsure. “That vision… what it implied… You deserve something real, Tav. You’re incredible… truly.” 

Tav closed her eyes, bracing for the fallout. Even though she would accept his decision, whatever it was, she didn’t think she could bear to watch him deny her. It would hurt too much. 

“Look. When we met, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan,” he blurted all at once. Rising swiftly to his feet, Tav watched as he began to pace before her, near to bursting with frenetic energy. 

“Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me,” he counted off, laughing half-heartedly. “It was… easy - instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do… was not fall for you… which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart,” he finished, stopping to stand before her. 

She held his gaze, speechless. 

“I want you,” he whispered fervently. “I want what was in that vision… I want us to be something real.”

Never in a million years had she thought he would respond to her like this. She opened her mouth to speak, but Astarion cut her off with another sudden exclamation. 

“I just don’t know what real is,” he confessed, his tone a touch hysterical. Tav knew from his body language that being this transparent was completely out of Astarion’s comfort zone. 

“Being… close to someone - any kind of intimacy - was something I performed to lure people back. For him. Even though I know things between us are different, being with someone still feels… tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust, and loathing. I… I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to,” he finished, staring at her with beseeching eyes, willing her to understand.

Tav rose to her feet, coming to stand before him. 

“I don’t want you for your body,” she whispered. “Or to perform any acts of intimacy. We can be together, without sleeping together, for as long as you need.”

“Really,” he asked softly, his voice pitched low, rough with emotion.

“Really,” Tav asserted, giving him a small smile. “Would it be all right if…” she paused, conflicted. He eyed her curiously.

“Could I hug you?” she whispered.

The fact that she asked before doing so caused a well of emotion to spring up inside him. Eyes watering, Astarion nodded. 

Slowly, Tav moved forward to wrap her arms around his waist. Her head nestled into the crook of his neck and shoulder. A perfect fit. He felt her exhale a deep sigh.

Tav hugging him was a sensation unlike any he had ever felt. At least, any he could remember feeling. The act of being touched, embraced, without any desire for something more. She just wanted to hold him, feel him close to her. It was incomprehensible to him, but utterly enjoyable, at the same time. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, Astarion raised his arms to return Tav’s embrace. Drawing her even closer, he bowed his head to rest his cheek against her hair. It was soft, like the finest silk. He closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, appreciating her sweet, floral scent.   

She made to pull away after a moment, not wishing to overwhelm him. But Astarion gripped her more firmly, a silent urge for them to stay that way a little longer. 

“This… this is nice,” he whispered. 

He both felt and heard Tav hum contentedly in response. 

It wasn’t identical to the vision from Tav’s mind that he had seen, but Astarion reveled in their embrace nonetheless. It felt like the beginning of something new. And for the first time in his very, very long life, Astarion felt excited at the prospects of what would come next. 

[aethon-recs]

Tomarrymort Advanced Pack – 12 Longfic Recs

If you’ve made your way through the Tomarrymort Starter Pack and Intermediate Pack reads, here are 12 beautifully written, timeless fics that are Tomarrymort on hard mode for when you’re ready to dive into something that will really challenge your every reading muscle. This selection of fics features some of the most skilled writing I’ve come across in the entire fandom, and I love how these authors tackle incredibly complex subject matter and plotlines and characterization choices with such bold and unflinching perspectives.

Please mind all tags (including CCNTW, explained here) as you may find some themes within some of these fics difficult or challenging to read for a variety of reasons.

This is Part 3 of a 3-part series (see here for Part 1 and Part 2). I hope you get as much enjoyment from reading these additional 3.1 million words of incredible Tomarrymort longfic as I have!

*

Tomarrymort Advanced Reads

ǟʟʍǟɢɛֆȶ by eldritcher (M, 134k, complete)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 6 Premise: If Harry and Dumbledore team up with Voldemort to save the magical world from a catastrophic threat. Why I rec it: Eldritcher delivers one of the most epic love stories of a lifetime — with Harry and Voldemort surviving a trip to the moon and back, and Harry’s love for Voldemort transcending time and space after Voldemort makes the ultimate sacrifice to save the world and, against all odds, return to Harry. The prose is absolutely transcendent — amongst the best I’ve encountered not only in fanfic, but in all of fiction I’ve ever read. I can’t say enough about how much I love Elditcher’s writing style and how beautifully the story unfolds — there’s a very nice lyrical rhythm underlying all the sentence structure and word choice in the fic that flows like nothing else I’ve read before.

Anabiosis by @itsevanffs (E, 32k, WIP)

Setting: Canon Divergence Pre-Book 1 Premise: If Voldemort resurrects early and takes a teaching job at Harry’s primary school. Why I rec it: This is one of the best and most realistic and gutting depictions I’ve ever read of the quiet tragedy of Harry’s pre-Hogwarts years growing up experiencing severe neglect and an absence of love throughout his entire childhood. @itsevanffs did a magnificent job of capturing Harry’s limited POV and all the fluttering hope his still-trusting heart holds when he meets Mr Riddle, the first teacher who’s ever treated him with kindness. My heart ached so much for Harry throughout this fic, and the emotional arc in this story has continued to haunt me for a very long time afterwards.

Eight Days a Week by @vestiges-of-light (E, 802k, complete)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 7 Premise: If Voldemort captures Harry shortly after his sixth year, which leads to an unlikely truce and eventual partnership that ends up saving the magical world. Why I rec it: This fic combines a sprawling political epic with an incredibly extensive exploration of kink. The author asks a great question in the tags: "Why is only vanilla sex literary?" — and this fic does a fantastic job of proving that messy, filthy, raw sex scenes don’t have to be made sanitized or palatable for mainstream consumption in order to have just as much of a place in a plot-driven, serious longfic as vanilla sex does. Against the high-stakes backdrop of international political intrigue, there’s a very nice domesticity to Harry and Voldemort’s relationship, and how much they trust each other and can be stripped bare and vulnerable in front of each other is very poignant and touching to read about.

Embryo by @cannibalinc (NR, 28k, WIP)

Setting: Time Travel (1940s) Premise: If mysterious new transfer student Harry appears in Tom’s sixth year in a state of near complete amnesia. Why I rec it: One of the defining character traits of Tom Riddle is that he’s an absolute genius — the most talented academic mind to ever walk through the doors of Hogwarts — and this fic absolutely delivers on that aspect. Told from Tom’s POV, this fic is like reading a complex multidisciplinary text spanning philosophy and physics and mathematics and magical theory, all interconnected by the mystery of how Harry appeared and where he came from and why he is so utterly forgettable to everyone but Tom.

found by @honbug (E, 112k, WIP)

Setting: Non-Magical AU Premise: If Tom grows up in a world with no magic, but has had strange recurring dreams his whole life — dreams of a boy with green eyes and a scar, dreams of a dark graveyard and magical snakes and other mysterious things. Why I rec it: The character work done in this fic is absolutely breathtaking — one of the best character studies of Tom Riddle I’ve ever come across. This is a Tom who grew up without magic, but is no less cold and vicious and psychopathic and teetering on the edge of madness. The story arc follows Tom from his early childhood through his rise as a ruthless leader in an organized crime syndicate not unlike the Death Eaters — all the while that he’s haunted by dreams of Harry, his Harry, even as the dreams start to drive him to the brink of insanity.

how large the teeth by MaidenMotherCrone (E, 257k, complete)

Setting: Voldemort Wins AU Premise: If Harry grows up as an outcast in a world where Grindelwald and Voldemort have already won long before he is born, but he’s still the subject of a prophecy that designates him as their world’s savior. Why I rec it: The worldbuilding is so exquisite and complex in this fic — the author did a spectacular job at completely reimagining the wizarding world from the ground up if the Dark Lord were to win a long time ago and how their extremely inequitable society would subsequently be structured. Harry’s defiance throughout is lovely, and his growing entanglement with Voldemort adds to all the high-stakes and risky moves that he makes throughout the fic. The plotline is very action-packed — a lot of complex plot threads are interwoven throughout the story, with an undercurrent of revolution and discontent simmering under the surface until it explodes in a glorious finale.

In Willing Sacrifice by @hikarimeroperiddle (M, 1,197k, WIP)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 4 Premise: If Harry finds Voldemort in Riddle Manor the summer before his fourth year, and enters into an unlikely alliance with him before returning to school that year. Why I rec it: This fic covers so much ground — at 1.2 million words (so far!), it’s the most detailed rewrite of canon starting from book 4 that I’ve ever come across, weaving in plenty of magical theory and political intrigue as Voldemort takes Harry under his protection initially in a mentor capacity. The relationship between Harry and Voldemort unfolds in such a beautiful way in this fic — with Harry growing to fall in love with Voldemort, despite all of Voldemort’s murderous and violent qualities, without losing an ounce of his humanity or the inherent goodness inside of his heart along the way.

Lover's Spit by @blogalinda, @k3uuu (E, 88k, WIP)

Setting: Non-Magical AU Premise: If Harry and Tom grow up in a small town together in northern England, and Tom has harbored an obsession for Harry ever since primary school. Why I rec it: An absolutely stunning coming-of-age story set in modern times. This story is striking in so many different ways. It perfectly captures the voice of fringe internet communities in such an authentic way. It also poignantly captures the social isolation and erosion of privacy from living in a small town where gossip spreads like wildfire, and how the internet amplifies these dynamics. At the core of the story is a really sweet love story between Tom and Harry that I am literally obsessed with — every single one of their interactions is so tender and pure — and it’s such a startling contrast to how Tom’s internet persona is portrayed that makes the sweetness all the more heartfelt.

Mi Aedijekit by @kitastrophea (M, 282k, WIP)

Setting: Post-Canon Premise: If Harry is captured by Voldemort and placed under the Draught of Living Death, only to awaken in the far future where Voldemort has ruled over their world for over a thousand years. Why I rec it: A linguistic and sociological tour de force. When Harry wakes up from his magical coma over a thousand years into the future, the world has been entirely transformed, and the skill and effort that the author undertook in fleshing out a society where there’s been a thousand years of cultural change and evolution in language can’t be understated. One of the most unique and fun aspects of the story is learning the new vocabulary of the future alongside Harry for the first time. I love how the fic examines how even Voldemort gets bored with immortality after a millennia of ruling — and how, even with a thousand years separating them and memories of the earlier times scattered to the wind, Harry and Voldemort are still inextricably drawn together.

Of Kings, Of Pawns, and Of Men by @ambivalens999 (E, 129k, WIP)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 5 Premise: If Voldemort ends up in Harry’s body and Harry ends up in Tom Riddle’s body after a bad encounter with the dementors at the beginning of book 5, and they can’t figure out how to swap back. Why I rec it: This is such an interesting take on the bodyswap trope, which is given a very serious and plotty treatment here. For fear of the safety of his friends, Harry has to go along with returning to his 5th year at Hogwarts in Tom Riddle’s body and being sorted into Slytherin house, while Tom passes himself off as Harry Potter. There’s a mystery behind the depth of Tom’s knowledge and familiarity with Harry, as he knows more about Harry than even Voldemort should. Is it the scar horcrux? Is it Voldemort? Is it something else entirely? The inherent combativeness and magnetism between Harry and Tom keep the tension high as they push each other’s buttons and circle around each other like wolves trying to establish dominance.

Phobia by @katsitting (E, 48k, complete)

Setting: Post-Canon Premise: If Voldemort captures Harry and brutally tortures him to the point of breaking. Why I rec it: This fic does not sugarcoat Voldemort’s capacity for cruelty and sadism in any way, and I admire the author’s commitment to depicting the most horrific of scenarios. Having read countless fics with this setup, I’ll be honest, the depiction in this fic is probably the most likely outcome of any Voldemort-captures-Harry scenario. They do not fall in love. It is not a fun time for Harry. There is gore; there is brutal prisoner torture; there is extremely extensive non-con. I found it very raw and unvarnished — not an easy read, but a very memorable and evocative one. And yet, despite the themes of darkness explored in this fic, it ends on a note of hope.

The Foul (part 1) / The Great (part 2) by @meles-merrivale (M, 24k, complete)

Setting: Time Travel Premise: If Harry gets thrown back in time a thousand years into the past, and does whatever it takes to stay alive until he can meet up with Voldemort again. Why I rec it: This is a fantastic depiction of the slow descent into madness following a disastrous time travel accident and what a thousand years of immortality does to one’s sanity. It’s also a great exploration of the time travel paradox and whether anyone has the power to change the past, or if pivotal historical events are, by their very nature, predetermined. By the time Harry encounters Voldemort again, he is a shell of the person he used to be, but gradually, he finds more of his original humanity and spark for life the more his relationship with Voldemort progresses.

*

[blakbonnet]

AUTHOR OF THE WEEK: @soupbtch

Ever read a fic and go "they're so 😭" - that's every single Danny fic to me, aka today's second aotw feature, and god, what an amazingly talented author they are.

I'm so glad you decided to write and grace us with your lovely and bonkers fics, because I cannot imagine the OFMD fic world without your incredible Every Part of You series. I cannot imagine logging into this website without another incredible post from you. Every single thing you write (and do) leaves me in stitches and then, more often than not, you straight up chair your friends with your ultra soft way of writing how much they love each other - in between the much needed elbow fucking. You are such an amazingly kind person - hilarious, supportive, and the best cheerleader 💕 Thank you for answering my questions:

What's your writing process like? Do you start with the beginning or the end? Do you write in order or as the scenes come to you?

I start with a pretty detailed outline because if I don’t go in with a plan, I’ll drop threads and/or write myself in circles. Then I have my outline open on half of my screen while I have a separate doc open on the other half where I’m actually writing. I write in order from beginning to end.

Favourite trope or headcanon you like to explore while writing? (Things like Ed's sweet tooth, Stede's ability to bury his feelings etc)

I have a lot of fun writing angst, so I think any facet of that I can explore is a good time. Weigh them down with insecurities and see how far I can bend them with external factors like plot points, each other, or other characters before they snap. So things like Stede believing he ruins everything he touches, Ed believing he doesn’t deserve fine things, and how they both stand in the way of their own happiness because of these feelings. I also love exploring like, the horrible communication skills Ed and Stede have with each other when it comes to their emotions, and setting up story beats where that intercommunication can break down. Because they’re idiots (affectionate).

Whose voice is easier to write - Ed or Stede? Why?

Ed for sure. I find him very easy to connect with, emotionally. All my favorite characters think they’re unlovable monsters and no, this says NOTHING about me personally, etc etc etc.

Your personal favourite thing you've written that you'd like more people to read

Red Skies at Night! It's modern au, but they're still on a boat! If you like slow burn, bitchy Stede, Ed with a tongue piercing, fun costumes, and a big dash of pining, I def recommend checking it out!! ❤️

What is the one word that you think you use a lot?

The one that comes to mind is ‘blink.’ Kind of a funny one, but to me, it’s such a juicy way to imply so much while saying so little, so I know I use it frequently. Stede asks, “Do you trust me?” and Ed blinks back at him as he tries to work out why that question hits him like a truck (because the answer is a very easy yes). Ed says, “You make me happy,” and Stede blinks back at him in awe (because Stede? Making someone happy? That can’t be true). You get it.

Do you have a beta reader? Have they made you a better writer?

Yes, Beedle (@sleepystede) and Connie (@spirker) have both beta read for me! They’ve helped me tremendously with flow and rewording awkward sentences, and I’ve improved a lot from their feedback. Connie has also been invaluable to bounce ideas off of for new fics and just generally pushing me to be more creative through her never-ending support and big beautiful brain.

Why OFMD 🥹

I loved season 1 when I first watched it, but as soon as I saw the season 2 trailer, something clicked in my brain. Where season 1 was slow burn, will-they-won’t-they, is this real or are they queerbaiting, season 2 was posing itself as very, very clearly queer. Stede is going to get his man. That’s it, that’s the show. Undisguised, unabashed, unapologetic gay yearning and gay romance. There are a million other things I can say, but I think it really all comes down to that. What a gift. No one does it like our show. 💖

Please head over to @ofmdlovelyletters (who also made the header) and send your love to all your favourite authors (and authors of the week 😈 watch that blog for some special letters coming your way)

[climbthemountain2020]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

(If you're in my answers consider yourself tagged if you'd like to play!!)

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

437,868! 

My goal was 100k hahaha I got a little carried away.

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

14 fully completed and posted!

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Woof. Lol, one actively in progress fic of just my own, one surprise sequel for January that's done but not posted, one timeloop that’s still going strong, and countless WIPs because I have no self control. Plus three books in various states of completion.

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

I think Hope of Spring is closest to my heart because it was my very first. I kind of picked up writing in January for the first time since high school, and having it be somewhere where people could actually see it for the first time and, more than that, liked it, was so insane to me. Sentimentally, that would be my favorite. 

But I think I had the most fun with Flame of Autumn and Your Eyes Whisper Have We Met!

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Azris! I have never ever written mlm before, and I took it on as an alt in the gift exchange (If Only In My Dreams). I’ve read SO much Azris, but it was my first time writing it and I had such a blast.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Absolutely Your Eyes Whisper Have We Met. I was so intimidated to start my little feysand one shot because the big feysand writers were who tempted me into the fandom so hard in late 2023. I felt like there was no way I could do it justice, then the “one shot” became 150k lol

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

For sure my Helion x Lady of Autumn fic Love You Like Oxygen. I LOVED writing that fic, I just think it’s in a real niche area, but I’m always so pleased when people find it and like it!

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

This list is endless

@velidewrites @jadedbugart @witchlingsandwyverns @laxibbeb and absolutely a million more. I have such awe for the artists in this fandom--everyone blows me away!

And in terms of moodboards and other creative joys, @octobers-veryown has a talent for it that I cannot comprehend. Truly--every thing is a masterpiece. Did you see her gift exchange bookmarks??

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

I could not possibly name every one haha.

Before actively joining the fandom, I was busy fangirling over @popjunkie42 @the-lonelybarricade @rosanna-writer @separatist-apologist @thesistersarcheron and many others.

Once I joined, that group became infinitely larger! I will read anything by @witch-and-her-witcher @wilde-knight @missfckingfortune @beesays @cauldronblssd @iftheshoef1tz @chunkypossum @secret-third-thing @acourtofladydeath @tunaababee @belabellissima @shardminds @damedechance @foundress0fnothing

and a trillion others. I will say until my dying breath that I think this fandom has some of the most absolutely insanely talented writers in the world.

Special shoutout to @ablogofsapphicpanic for her brave take on my favorite piece of fiction this year.

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

Okay literally everyone though since I was brand new. I am SO inspired by the talent I see on the daily in the fandom. It’s insane to me what so many of you can do.

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

Timeloop with the @feysand-hivemindhivemind has been a real joy! We’ve had so much fun running with our crazy ideas this year (shout out to @gaeleria) 

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Everything haha. I was just a new tumblr baby in January. I’ve been reading on Ao3 since middle school, but this was the first year I made my own account to write (I was bookmarking in a spreadsheet in Excel SOS)

My only goal for this year was to write a fic, aim for 100k, and publish it online. 

Art wasn’t even on the table in January, and neither were all the incredible friendships I’ve made here. Frankly, that has been the most important part of all this!

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

That while it IS a wonderful way to improve your craft or should also always be a way to have FUN. I've improved so much this year, but more importantly, I have had such a blast and made so many lifelong friends. That's been the real joy from writing this year.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

A few things!! First, just jump in!

So much of the fun, experience, and worshipping of writing is just in getting the thoughts on paper. I'm a big outlined, but they're SLOPPY in that first draft. I get an idea and I just brain dump the absolute fuck out of it in a Google doc. There's not a chronological order, not any real storyline yet, just all the things as they come to me so I don't forget them. Having that word vomit step is really vital for me to get everything down. 

Of course I go back later and fix it all up, but oftentimes just getting it on paper is what I need to get going, even if it's ugly on that first draft. 

The same applies to when I get stuck in my writing. Sometimes I get in a space where it feels like nothing is working. Because I hate myself, I'm not one to step away for a bit. Instead I just wrote nonsense until things start taking shape– I don't worry about grammar or anything like that until later. Something about returning to that info dump helps me break out of the funk!

Last but not least, don't worry about the interpretations of others. There are ALWAYS going to be people who don't see the characters the way you do. That's the beauty and joy of reading! But that shouldn't stop you from writing what inspires you! You like a soft Eris? A mean Eris? Do it! You think Azriel is secretly a softie or a huge dick? You want to write the Tamlin healing arc you wish to see in the world? YOU SHOULD. Write what you feel and who cares if there are people who don't like it? 

So clearly my best advice is just to write it, lol. As with all my fics, I could have been more concise and chose not to be 🤣

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I really want to focus on not doing a million long projects at once 😅 it won't happen, but it'll be a nice dream. 

Overall, I think I just hit the scene very over excited this year and I burned myself out a bit at the end trying to do everything. I think I gotta set myself some boundaries for how much I'm wanting to do versus how much is a healthy and reasonable amount 😅

I'd also love to experiment with some new pairings and styles too!

[laura1633]

Fic writer interview thank you for the tag @481boxboxbaby and @souvenir116

Tagging @saviour-of-lord and @ilyarozanove (not sure if you have been tagged already and no pressure if you don't like tag games!) and anyone else who wants to do this feel free to use this as your invite.

How many works do you have on AO3? 155 - Wow okay I don’t know how I ended up writing so many.

What's your total AO3 word count? 1,076,320

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. Preloved  2. Good Boy 3. A million times over 4. Weak 5. My Pretty Princess

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to respond to comments and I have gotten a lot better at it. If I have ever not responded it's because I have left it too late and then panic over whether it's still appropriate to respond!! I read all comments though, it’s the biggest motivator so thank you to everyone who leaves comments on fics, I appreciate you all <3

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Either ‘One last night’ or ‘Hitching a ride’ Both are open ended though. 

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?There are a lot that have happy endings but off the top of my head I will go with ‘A million times over’. It’s just an overall short cute one-shot.

Do you write crossovers? No

Have you ever received hate on a fic? If I have then I have forgotten about it because I can’t recall any hate coming in. I am sure there are plenty of people who hate my stories though, I’ve just been lucky they haven’t told me about it! 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes I do and lots of it. Almost any kind. Dom/sub, pain play, tentacles, omegaverse, lots of kinks, nice soft sex, loss of virginity. I would definitely say varied!

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not stolen but hmmm I have seen something very close to what I have written. 

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, not that I have seen anyway. I have had people ask before but I am not sure if they ever actually translated them.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No but I have spoken about it with @481boxboxbaby unfortunately I am disastrously disorganised so I don’t know if I should really inflict that on other people 😂 I do think it would be fun to have a fic with a set up and then multiple authors taking a chapter each to write the scenario from various drivers points of view. That would take a lot of organising though.

What's your all-time favorite ship? Lestappen

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?There are so many of them, I have a folder full of random wips that will likely never be finished. At the moment I am fighting my way to try and finish a cowboy Max au one shot, I have started it and deleted it soooo many times, I will finish it though, it’s just not clicking right now! 

What are your writing strengths? I guess maybe just having a certain level of creativity when it comes to coming up with ideas. That can also be my downfall because there are too many ideas pinging around for me to concentrate on one! 

What are your writing weaknesses? I always say that my writing style is more about a general vibe rather than it being grammatically correct 😬

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’ve personally never done it. I’d have to use google translate and I wouldn’t trust that it would read properly.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? F1

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?Charles/Oscar or Max/Rico Verhoeven. I will get around to writing them eventually

What's your favorite fic you've written? It’s probably recency bias but the fic I am writing and posting right now “Preloved” is probably my favourite. I think it's also super encouraging when people are commenting and enjoying the story so it has made the whole thing more enjoyable. I will definitely be writing some more multi chaptered fics going forward. Of the one shots maybe The Sweetest Deal because it plays into my love of babygirl Max.

[elodiah]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Thanks @kcscribbler!

This was interesting, because I had to go with my gut feeling in the moment, but I reckon the contents of this list could easily change at any given time depending on my mood.

1) Revival

Summary: Loki and Mobius take what amounts to a vacation, whilst Loki recovers from his harrowing experience of babysitting the multiverse.

This began as a single-chapter ficlet to fill an ask game prompt. Later, I decided to revisit this version of Loki and Mobius to fill a bingo prompt in ch 2, then a random computer-generated prompt I had in my ideas doc for a 3rd and final chapter. Apart from a little Loki-whump in ch 2, it’s generally a sweet, soft and cozy pre-romance, and very cathartic to write.

2) Within

Summary: Loki and Mobius are marooned on a volcanic nightmare of a world, their survival depending solely on Loki's tenacity.

Part of my ‘Patience-verse’ series, this fic contains some of my favourite tropes, such as ‘trapped together in danger’, ‘magical drain/depletion’ and ‘the power of love’. Also a little twist of UST/URT — gummy bear feeding, my beloved! 😆

3) Sleepless

Summary: Mobius and Loki get stuck in a broken elevator for hours, and as a result Mobius discovers what's been bothering the object of his (as yet unspoken) affection.

Also a part of ‘Patience-verse’, and it’s such a trope-y scenario, you’ve gotta love it. I mean, that was the whole point of the original fic that spawned this series, after all. Basically, my reason for choosing this is not just because I’m absolutely feral for exhausted!Loki and sleepy cuddles, but also because I can’t believe I was able to write 3k+ words about Lokius in a lift. 🤷‍♀️

4) Apokruptein

Summary: A curiosity on an unknown world hurtles Loki and Mobius into peril.

A double bingo prompt-fill for ‘Forest’ and ‘Cursed object/artefact’. This 4-chapter fic is not really my best writing, but it’s the only time so far I’ve gone all-out with a full on adventure style fic, with a little worldbuilding/backstory, a lot of whump, and the lovely trope ‘temporary amnesia’ to boot. I worked really hard on the conception of this one, and I’m pretty proud of it.

5) I’ve lumped together two ficlets for my #5 spot, because they’re both similar in that they are absolutely NOT anything near what I would usually write.

a) Sit Tempus

Summary: Furnishing their new apartment, the last thing on Loki and Mobius’ list is a decent couch.

An idea that popped into my head during a boring drive home… and I wrote, edited and posted the whole thing in one night. 😏 My only ‘established relationship’ fic to date (watch this space.. 👀), although nothing remotely spicy, I should add. Just pure cute fluff, and a very vague S2 fix-it.

b) Unexpectedly You

Summary: A kindness from Loki for a mutual friend causes Mobius to have a ‘Moment’.

Terrible summary, but it’s another little ask game prompt fill, so nothing much happens in it at all. A lot of people seemed to like this one, which kinda made me like it more too. 🤣 It’s simply Loki being a sweetheart, and Mobius being proud of him. 🥹

I also wanted to add two honourable mentions for Reach (Loki/Star Wars crossover) and Reset (Loki/Red Dwarf crossover). I never in a million years thought I’d be capable of writing ONE passable crossover fic, let alone two… so the fact I managed it makes me super proud, even if they’re ludicrously niche.

[kasienda]

Fanfiction Year in Review 2023

I fill this out every year. It’s become a bit of a tradition for me. Allows me to reflect on everything that I’ve written and kinda think about where I want to go next. And I like it better from the ask games because I don’t have to wait for asks to come in and can compare my answers from one year to the next. ^_^

1 List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

Displaced (Ladrien oneshot)

No Regrets (Ladynoir oneshot - smut)

You Don’t Have To Pretend With Me (Platonic Adrino oneshot)

Representation Reveal (S5 Adrinette oneshot)

Kisses in the Rain (S5 AU Love Square - technically multichapter, but it’s shorter than many of my one-shots)

Would Trust You With Everything (Adrino multichapter)

Just An Ordinary Girl (Marichat oneshot)

Love Remains (Ladynoir multichapter)

Spin the Bottle (OT4 with cour four - technically oneshot, but it’s longer than Kisses and has more kisses in it. Haha!)

2 Number of words written: 

Written: 166,114 words

Published: 151,018 words (more than twice 2022’s number!! Go me!!) 

Those numbers are incredibly close together because I haven’t been redrafting as much. Those numbers include six one shots, three completed multi chapters. And another four multi chapter WIPs saw at least one update.

And in another fun milestone! I broke a million words published on Ao3 just this last week!! (I've been writing fic since 2003 and everything I've ever written is on Ao3!)

3 Your most popular fic:

Not Part of the Plan - I suspect that this is mostly because being a teen pregnancy fic, it’s my most tropiest story this year. Haha! 

4 Your personal fav:

Aftermath - This story has usurped Right Behind You as my favorite. I’ve been able to connect to the raw hurt and grief in this story, and there’s something very raw and human about it that others seem to be able to connect to as well. I think it’s some of my best work, and that is also thanks to an amazing beta in @ladyofthenoodle who has lent her expertise in more than one way in making this one more true to lived experience. 

5 Your fav scene:

It’s so hard to pick a favorite!! I narrowed it down to my three favorites in no particular order. 

The last scene in Ch 5 Love Remains - Chat Noir give amnesiac Ladybug a geography lesson from space. It’s got Whole New World vibes, and I just loved the imagery of it.

Ch 4 of Aftermath - I’m particularly proud of Marinette’s panic attack when Adrien tells her she doesn’t have to keep coming over. Like it feels like it comes out of nowhere, but it just totally makes sense. And how it manifests and how she soothes herself (it’s not healthy, but it’s so GOOD!)

Ch 7 of Would Trust You With Everything - The scene where Chat Noir tries to tell Nino who he is, but inevitably doesn’t. And how Nino reassures him through all that. This scene feels so raw, but so heartwarming in light of Adrien’s fears. And I don’t know - it’s beautiful to me.

6 A fic or scene that challenged you:

I really struggled with Right Behind You this year, though it wasn’t for lack of trying! I had started out the year hoping to go back to an update a month here and I only updated it three times throughout 2023. 

This was incredibly frustrating because the initial drafts of scenes would come pretty easily, but I couldn’t seem to make them pop the way the earlier chapters did. The good news is I think I figured out what the issue was. Most of my writing this year has been speed writing. And a big part of that is just where I’ve been emotionally. I’m very very out of practice in editing and redrafting, which this story and Aftermath both definitely need. 

I’ve only been able to edit Aftermath because I’ve had a ton of help. (Thanks Noodles!) Sadly, it’s harder to find betas for rarepairs, but I have succeeded! (Thanks@coffeebanana!)

7 A line of writing you’re proud of: 

“She wanted to be there to see it. To see him.”

This line is way better in context, but I’ve made myself cry about three times with it. And I refuse to explain it because that would give its power away. Guess you’ll just have to go read Aftermath. 

8 A comment that touched you: 

I can never answer this question without mentioning several!! 

Would Trust You With Everything - this story had a ton of enthusiastic followers - way more than rarepair work usually gets, and I wrote this story right after my life fell apart and all the commenters here made throwing this story together just that much more joyful during a time when I REALLY needed it. (I'm looking at you, @bittersweetresilience, @bbutterflies @flightfoot @coffeebanana and so many others that I don't know your tumblr name!!!) Not Part of the Plan Comments - I added sex ed lessons to the end of each chapter here because there’s so much about fertility and pregnancy that people don’t know if typical pregnancy fics are anything to go by, and this seemed to inspire so many people to share their pregnancy stories!!! And these have been so cool because I’ve learned that these stories just don’t often have an opportunity to be shared. And it’s neat that this story with its accompanying lessons could create a space for that!! Aftermath comments - lots of people who have really struggled with moderate to severe depression have apparently felt very seen by this fic. And that a story that is essentially about two characters who feel very alone and like no one can understand can help people feel LESS alone and MORE understood is simply amazing!! I love this story so much!! AHH!! Here's one from @neurovascular-entrapta that meant a lot to me.

9 Something that inspired your writing:

Grief and the need to feel things in a distant abstract-these-are-story-book-characters kind of way so I don’t have to feel my actual feelings as closely every moment of the day really kept me writing the whole year long.

10 Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

My writing has been really raw and messy this year, and I can’t keep tenses straight to save my life. But there’s something powerful about the rawness that I really like even as all the grammatical errors and the lack of effort on the technical side of most of my stories has driven me nuts. 

I am proud of myself for being able to get back into the big projects in these last few months after not being able to face them from April to October. And I’ve started participating in a few writing events here and there again in addition to working on my own pet projects. 

11 Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

Well, I wanted to finish Not Part of the Plan in 2023, which didn’t happen only barely! So hoping the last chapter and the epilogue make it out within the next month. Once that’s done I think I want to try and make Aftermath and Right Behind You my primary focus projects this year. And of course, I’m sure new plot bunnies and writing events will take over my brain on occasion. Last year, I said I wanted my writing to become a reliable mental health tool for me again, and I’m glad to say that it definitely was that for 2023. I hope I’m able to use my writing this year to continue my healing journey. 

And maybe go and proofread all of the fics I finished in 2023 to fix all the inconsistent tense issues to prepare them for being bound eventually!

12 Anyone you would like to thank?

SO MANY PEOPLE!

@jennagrinsoverml for being one of my oldest fandom friends! For becoming a real life friend for all that we haven't actually met in person. For all the times you vented to me and listened and sent me pictures of your family and gushed over pictures of mine. I'm lucky to know you!

@ladyofthenoodle - for showing up in my DMs, For being a most insightful beta, for dragging me into a larger community over and over again, for listening to both my real struggles and my first world problems, for being my friend!!

@thelibraryloser - I don't know how to put this into words. But I very much look up to you. For your resilience through difficult times - you are role-model for how to handle this world with grace and kindness. Thank you for your stories!

@coffeebanana - for being so enthusiastic in the creation process before and after! When I have a story that is getting no attention one comment from you makes it so it doesn't matter. You give me all I need.

@bittersweetresilience and @wackus-bonkus-maximus for just being so kind and enthusiastic and supportive of any idea I happen to be talking about in any given moment. I guess for enabling me. Haha!

@blur0se and @mila-beedoodling for sharing your ideas and inspiring me to create new things!!

@asukiess, @chocoluckchipz, @sariahsue, @miabrown007 for creating so many beautiful things and for being kind and engaging in so many conversations!

And now, I'm really nervous that I'm forgetting someone because this is the first time where I feel like I've had more than three fandom friends. Haha! It's a good problem to have I suppose. In general, thank you to the miraculous community for helping me to survive this year. <3 <3 <3

Happy New Year Everyone!!

I invite anyone who wants to, to fill this out! (Or something similar because I think it can be modified for artwork pretty easily). But if you do, please tag me, so I can be a cheerleader for all you've accomplished this year!

[kimsohn]

we all want what we can't have

pairing . prince! jake x knight! gn reader (ft. yuna of itzy) about . 5.4k words, fluff + angst warnings . i wrote this 2 years ago so brace yourself. there's angst but it has a happy ending! jake is a flirt and yuna is gay (cause why not). this is written in a style that is meant to mimic romantic old-fashioned fantasy but i didn't do a very good job of it 😭 as always, terribly sorry in advance for this monstrosity.

synopsis . you thought coming face-to-face with prince jake would be the end of you, but sadly, getting dubbed by him seemed to be the least of your worries. note. this was originally a secret santa fic with a different idol, so sorry if there are name mistakes! this is also a repost from my old account if it seems familiar. i also apparently wrote this at 4am so please excuse the mess that this is. tagging . @stealanity @haerinz

Far, far away, past the weeping willows of the dark forests and the scorching sands of the sunburnt deserts, there laid a small vine opening, covered with twigs and vines, embedded in secrecy. Only those who seek this door could enter, and only those who dared to venture could truly experience the treasure they were meant to seek for.

Here beyond this secret entrance lay the land of Senkō, a land filled with prosperity and enchantment alike. Home to one of the world’s most charming cities, this empire carried an aura of purity that wrapped around and around and encased you tight, never wanting to let go.

And in the center of it lay a prince to match, feasting on the fresh pears from the palace garden and radiating a smile that could rival that of the blazing ball of fire that shone upon him.

 “Master Jake! You shouldn’t be eating those pears; those are for the royal family’s bouquet at the end of the month!”

Jake leaned against the tree, eyeing the half-eaten pear in his hands, before glancing at the short maid who had come to warn him against his irresponsible actions.

And then he grinned.

He watched the maid’s cheeks turn bright red, resembling the rubicund apples in the orchard nearby. Nations far and beyond have acknowledged Prince Jake’s dazzling smile and incredibly handsome aura, and he was well aware of it, using it to his advantage to get out of trouble. Being flattering was simply a pastime for him.

���Are you sure I can’t have a few more pears? I’m sure I can… let you have a bite of this one if you wish.”

The maid turned profusely beet red as if she couldn’t have possibly turned into more of a tomato, and with a quick squeal, she scampered back into the castle, leaving behind a laughing Jake and a half-eaten pear.

“Didn’t know you were the designated castle flirt,” a familiar voice remarked, causing Jake’s eyes to shift to the new subject.

“You seem quite observant, Commander Sunghoon. I wonder if you would like a bite too?”

Jake dangled the pear in front of Sunghoon, commander of the royal army and his best friend, only to be met with mock disgust and a silent scoff.

“Quite humorous aren’t you, Prince Jake? Anyhow, I’ve come to ask for your presence at the induction ceremony for our recruits. Can’t have the nation’s brightest soldiers be dulled by the absence of the ever so coquettish prince, can we?”

Jake, biting the last part of the almost-finished pear, met Sunghoon’s glance with a smile. “Well, what are we waiting for? Lead the way.”

You were quite nervous.

Throughout all the rigorous training you’ve endured for the past two years, you’ve never felt so anxious. Wielding a blade and charging headfirst were tasks that came most naturally to you, but social integration and public speaking were far from your line of expertise. A million uncertainties were running through your mind at the very prospect of failure in being dubbed a soldier, and you hoped you wouldn’t end up being the nation’s royal laughingstock.

What if you tripped on stage? What if you accepted the wrong award? What if you—

“Nervous?” you heard a voice murmur next to you, filled with light amusement and tender undertones.

“In your dreams Ni-ki,” you whispered back, not willing to show weakness, although you supposed your best friend knew you better than you knew yourself.

He let out a soft chuckle, well knowing of your dishonesties, and patted your uniform-covered shoulder in a gesture for comfort.

“You’ll be fine Y/N. Besides, everyone tends to get a little weak-hearted while standing next to Prince Jake. If anything goes wrong you can just blame it on him!”

It’s not that simple, you wanted to retort, but you didn’t have the heart to diminish Nishimura’s extra-cheerful attitude today. So, you just dipped your head in respect as a mere thanks, hoping your nerves would settle down and let you breathe.

“Oh, that’s my name! See you on stage Y/N!”

You watched as Ni-ki pranced onto the carpet-covered stage, a smile flitting across your face in pure affection. Eons ago, you both had vowed to become the finest soldiers of the royal guard and here you were today, fulfilling your dreams side by side.

You found your eyes shifting from the now kneeling Nishimura to the man upright in front of him, slender hands repositioning a blade from Ni-ki’s left shoulder to his right, a movement proclaiming your best friend’s newfound royal status.

Prince Jake. The man of everyone’s dreams and desires alike. You wished you weren’t prone to his charms, but alas, everyone has their weaknesses. Jake Sim’s smile just happened to be yours.

Having been lost in your contemplations, you hadn’t realized time was nearing your turn until your wandering eyes noticed Ni-ki making his way off the stage.

“And now, let us welcome the highest-ranking recruit of this division, Y/N!”

It felt like a blur walking onto the platform, clad in combat boots and your royal uniform. Despite the loud clapping and the shrill cheering from your comrades, your eyes were trained on the man adorned in regal blue, a man you supposed you’d need to grow accustomed to.

Your breath hitched as he stepped forward to perform your accolade, and you mentally cursed yourself for having the qualities of a fangirl at this very moment. Ni-ki was right; Prince Jake had the vexatious ability to take anyone’s breath away (not that you were complaining).

“I don’t suppose you need this dubbing,” you heard, the faintest whisper of a melody so familiar yet so unique, “for your skills are far more worthy of recognition than my blade.”

Cheeks burning, you turned akin to a beetroot as you bowed your head in respect, heart thumping at the mere delight of such a wonderful man praising yours truly.

“We mustn’t skip formalities, your royal highness,” you whispered back, kneeling on one leg before him, “because even one as skilled as me would enjoy the honor of your unsheathed steel on my shoulders.”

You sensed the lightest grin pass across his face as he performed the rite of passing, and as he helped you stand back up to shake his calloused palm, he leaned in to make the faintest promise.

“One day, I hope I can have the opportunity to duel with you, the ever-so-skilled Y/N, in a match of fencing. After all, you aren’t quite the only one to receive such honor, hmm?”

True to his word, Jake arranged a duel with you. Rather than just wanting to see your form in action, the fight was arranged for a more subtle aim: Jake’s desire to get to know you. Surprisingly, or rather, unsurprisingly, he admitted that he still remembered every detail of your first encounter. He knew it seemed a little obsessive, but then again, all the male characters in books have been victims of the love-at-first-sight syndrome.

Why exactly he found you so fascinating? He didn’t quite have the answer to that himself. Maybe it was the way your confidence was nowhere to be seen despite your highest-ranking title, or the fact that you were still able to utter out cautions about formalities despite looking like you were to go faint any moment. He couldn’t deny that he found you a little cute (just a little). He’d never had a knight fancy him, especially a high-ranking one, but he wasn’t one to carp. The thought of your duality merely aroused his attention, which is why he was so keen on carrying out this match.

Although, Jake’s plans didn’t exactly schedule themselves as he wanted, because when he arrived at the grass training grounds, uniform poised and blade in tow, he was met with the faces of the rest of your peers, eager eyes ready for action.

“Sunghoon, what is the meaning of this?”

“My apologies Jake, for how would the elders take it if the royal prince wanted an individual match with a recruit?”

“Oh, you know I meant no harm—”

“Obviously, however, other people simply don’t have the pleasure of knowing your royal highness as well as I do. I kindly ask you to adjust to the current circumstances and carry this forward as a teaching lesson, rather than a chance to fancy yourself with a new lover.”

Jake paled at Sunghoon’s words, turning to face him with an impeccable glare.

“Don’t be so surprised Jake; I too am capable of noticing wandering eyes. Whether your thoughts start as mere interest or mad infatuation, please be cautious of your actions. Tis the season to be betrothed, after all.”

With the warnings ringing throughout his ears, Jake stepped up to the platform, meeting your curious eyes. Simultaneously, you both bowed, and Jake was taken aback to the formalities you’d mentioned previously before. Today you looked more at ease, and he couldn’t quite figure out what for. Was it because combat came naturally to you? Or perhaps it was the reconnection of you both? Only time would tell.

Although this was an obligatory battle, seemingly for educational and ritual purposes, Jake could sense that you wouldn’t go easy on him. That wasn’t what worried him. Jake also wasn’t the most skilled in hand-to-hand combat, and he knew what the outcome of this event would be. That wasn’t what worried him either.

What worried him was the realization that he was excited to be with you again. He recalled the past few days, tracing through them to find that his mind had often wandered off to the upcoming battle with you. The thought of getting to know how you carried this particular interest of yours, the thought of meeting your gaze again, the thought of merely perceiving you had plagued his mind until this very moment. He felt like a fool, like a little boy eyeing a certain pastry he had craved through the windowsill. Maybe Sunghoon’s wandering eyes were right; maybe he was smitten with you.

He looked up to see you unsheathing your sword, preparing for the beginning. He mimicked your action, the blade unfamiliar and uncomfortable in his hands, designed to flaunt rather than to function. The both of you poised with your arm outstretched, blades crossing and knees bent.

He could tell by the slight grin on your face that you were well aware of the outcome. He wondered if you knew he visited for entirely different reasons than battle, but judging by your expression he knew the answer was quite evident.

He was so distracted by you that he didn’t even realize the start of the duel. He focused to see that you had knocked the heavy blade of out his hand (doing him a favor, really) and as it soared in the sky, you twirled him around and pulled his back flush against your frame, encompassing him in a body lock. Jake couldn’t care less about what you were doing to him. The mere feeling of you sharing contact with him was enough to make his brain go dizzy. And quite surprisingly, he sensed that you were affected too, due to the evident rising heartbeat against his chest.

As the fight commenced and the audience clapped (blasphemy really, Jake hadn’t carried out a single action the entire time), his attention focused on your figure, which was walking off the platform. He noted your slight trembling hands and your heavy breathing, accompanied by the lack of eye contact he had once received before.

Were you nervous? Embarrassed? Or perhaps, blushing? These thoughts haunted Jake as he returned to his chambers, falling into a restless sleep filled with you, you, and only you.

A couple of weeks later, you had the opportunity to tour the extravagant castle. It was a part of your training, in case the palace ever fell under attack and you were required to defend it, however, most of your comrades took it as an opportunity to finally experience a sliver of royalty that they had never had growing up. As most of you came from poor backgrounds, the diamond chandeliers and velvet carpets seemed daunting and awe-striking, and you swore some of your units had hearts in their eyes as they dragged their fingers along the winding corridors of the palace.

You, however, weren’t quite as interested. The sole purpose for your visit was education and you made sure to concern yourself with only that, disregarding most of the accessories and amenities the palace had to offer. You didn’t really focus on most of the extravagant interior (although that was probably the most vital segment in your training) because you knew it was filled with barely-touched rooms designed to complement and boast. All fortresses were built with the sole impression of looking majestic, and the only part you deemed important for your training were the places in which the royal family frequented.

You were told that Jake enjoyed the palace gardens, so you ventured off to exactly there, mentally mapping out particular landmarks that you help you familiarize layout. You could see exactly why he frequented this location; the white rose bushes and worn stone paths resounded a sense of serenity, and you soon forgot about the actual reason you were here, continuing to inhale every petal and feel every path of grass underneath your sole-covered toes.

Somehow you had found your way to the fountain, sitting on the edge and tracing your palm across the clear water drawing ripples. You had laughed when you first found the location because of the angel sitting atop the basin, reminding you exactly of the man behind the reason you had come here.

Jake. It always seemed to steer back to him. After your duel you simply couldn’t stop your brain from wandering off to his presence, the way he moved, his pretty eyelashes, his kissable li—

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You hadn’t realized you were extremely close to falling into the fountain until Jake’s voice resounded, bringing you out of your quite embarrassing daydream. A flush covered your rosy cheeks as you locked gazes with him and nodded, letting him pull you up to your feet and away from the water.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, gripping your shoulders lightly.

Your brain felt dizzy from the direct contact, and your throat dried up as you attempted to speak.

“Training, walking around memorizing—”

“Calm down Y/N, I understand. Please take a seat love, you must’ve had quite the shock from almost falling into that fountain,” he responded, gesturing to a patch of pasture as he pulled you down next to him.

If your brain wasn’t malfunctioning already, it definitely was now. Love. The word floated through your head like dandelion seeds in rough winds, like a kite gone lost. No one had ever called you such an endearing term before, and despite not knowing Jake’s intentions behind it, you still cherished the four letters he had chosen to label you.

You wondered what Jake would say if he knew the reason you almost fell was the fact that you were daydreaming about him. Or perhaps he already knew? You turned to ask him something of the sort, only to meet his preset gaze on you already.

Maybe it was a part of your imagination, but he stared at you as if you held the universe in your arms. If Jake Sim was the sun, he stared at you as if you were an even brighter star speckled somewhere far, far away from his vicinity, yet so, so close. His stare was so warm, so tender that it made you want to shine more brilliantly to keep that expression within his eyes and his heart and never, never ever let go of it.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” you found yourself asking instead, your tense atmosphere dissipating and shifting into something more fond, more affectionate.

“Like what?” he returned, a slight grin on his face indicating he already knew the answer.

“Like you’re in love with me,” you blurted out, the impact of your words hitting you only after you’d recited them.

His gaze shifted, turning into something rawer and more emotional, almost as if you had crossed an unknown boundary and he didn’t know how to react to it. You could feel regret filling your feelings, and maybe he sensed that too because he changed the topic, effectively shutting down any potential outbursts.

“Come on Y/N, let’s get you back to the castle. Your comrades must be worrying about your absence.”

Since then, it had become quite the regular occasion for you to cross paths with the prince in the palace gardens (willingly or unwillingly, you wouldn’t answer). Sometimes you had Ni-ki in tow (only for him to be cast aside anyway), and sometimes you strolled alone, subconsciously keeping an eye out for the man that had somehow bewitched your heavy heart.

You didn’t know when the line blurred between admiration and romance, but you quite simply didn’t care because the Jake Sim had given you his time in return for conversation. He seemed to be enjoying seeing you, talking to you, breathing with you, sitting with you so close that your shoulders almost touched and you could lean over and kiss him. Out of all the pretty humans, he wanted your time, your affection, your words, and your smiles. And you certainly weren’t complaining.

At times you’d find yourselves talking about anything and everything in the world, and at others, you’d fall into silence, bedridden with comfort. His presence grew consolatory to you, an aphrodisiac you’d simply succumbed to throughout the routine of your lifestyle. His figure often occupied your thoughts before you slept, and you’d wake up to the chirping birdcalls in anticipation of your next meeting. Dreaming, you were, as you floated with your feet in the dappled clouds blessed with the warm sunshine that was Jake’s laughter.

Deep within your mind, buried for a later reflection was the hidden notion of restriction, of not being allowed to fall for the charms of his royal highness. A dangerous tightrope you pranced on, shying towards his flirtatious advances and straying away from the acceptance of your feelings. You knew that one day had to come to terms with reality, but that day was not today, not yesterday, not tomorrow. Soon, you presumed, soon enough to infiltrate your worries but not soon enough for you to distance yourself from your growing affections.

One day, when the night sky was particularly clear and the white stars were particularly bright, Jake asked you a simple question.

“Y/N, what happens when you… you want something you can’t have?”

You turned to your side, meeting the heavy, cautious glance of the human next to you. Jake always seemed very grown up to you, perhaps because of his princely duties, but at this very moment, he resembled a childish boy, as if he had broken a vase behind his mother’s back and tried to hide from his consequences.

You couldn’t tell if you enjoyed his cautious vulnerability, but you did have the slightest inkling of the layers hidden underneath his seemingly simple question.

“Well, it’s human nature, your royal highness. I suppose it—”

“No but, what happens?” he prompted, effectively cutting your words off and leaving you wordless.

“Well,” you started after some consideration, trying to phrase your answer quite sensibly, “well then, it’s simple. You bear the consequences. Because Jake, we all want what we can’t have.”

And the look on his face haunted your dreams for many nights.

The royal banquet was an event many anticipated, Jake very well included. Delicacies from far and wide were served upon gold platters (made with numerous ingredients such as the pears Jake was discovered feasting on), and although it served as a chance for royal delegations with countries much like theirs, the entire palace staff was invited. It was an occasion simply to remember, and Jake being excited was a bit of an understatement.

Jake couldn’t deny that a factor of his enthusiasm was your attendance this year. Despite having many acquaintances, the only person Jake typically interacted with at formal events was Sunghoon, and your presence would be a nice contrast to his usual experience.

(And maybe he’d been waiting for a chance to see you outside of your occasional garden getaways, but he’d never admit to it.)

From the moment Jake arrived at the occasion, his eyes were searching for you. Although he knew training kept you for quite a while, his gaze was always focused on the entrance, hesitantly waiting with a chocolate mousse in hand.

“Sunghoon, when do you suppose the knights will arrive?”

“Your Highness, not to be disrespectful but you’ve asked this question thrice already. They will be here soon, I swear.”

“Sorry Sunghoon,” Jake responded, embarrassed but too bashful to care, “as you can see, I’m quite impatient.”

“It is quite obvious, your Highness. Here, why don’t we preoccupy ourselves with conversation? I’m sure our comrades from far and wide will be expectant to speak a few words with you, hmm? It will take your mind off, ahem, a particular other person.”

Conversation was the plan and Jake followed it, mingling with his guests to distract himself. As a prince, Jake was born and raised to frequent polite manners and converse equivalently, but truth be told, his usual acquaintances were young women seeking a way to his heart (and his money). At normal times he wouldn’t be bothered by such minor inconveniences, but today he just couldn’t seem to return the same flirtatious advances.

Maybe it was due to the certain soldier lingering at the tip of his tongue, the corners of his brain. Jake was extremely lucky that he was graced with a good enough appearance that women seemed to be entranced by because, without it, he most likely would’ve received complaints regarding his obvious disinterest towards people who garnered it.

He was able to flutter around casually until his mother pulled him aside, excitedly urging him to direct his attention to his father’s annual oration. Jake was, simply put, perplexed as to why she was so enthusiastic about a simple speech, but he followed his mother’s orders, anticipation bubbling inside his ever-so-faint heart.

He should’ve protected his heart while he could’ve.

“With proud honor, I would like to announce the betrothal of my son, Jake Sim, to the elegant princess of the Shin kingdom, Princess Yuna!”

The only emotion Jake felt was numbness. Despite Sunghoon shaking his shoulder like a madman and a multitude of cheers resounding around him, the only thing that phased Jake was the distant sound of a plate crashing, igniting an unknown fear hidden deep within his heart.

And as clapping echoed around Jake, he whipped around to see broken shards of glass speckled on the floor, and the love of his life running away with the intention of never seeing him again.

In many novels you had read the phrase ‘the heart grows fonder with distance’, but you never assumed it to be true until you started evading the prince.

It had been approximately three weeks since your last meeting (not that you were counting), and you seemed to be facing insanity. Once a narrative that followed romance novels, your tale now diverged into that of heartbreak and sorrow, betrayed by the person whom you were most bewitched by.

No books in your library explicated how to heal a torn heart, so you confided in the most trustworthy source you knew: Nishimura Riki.

“See Y/N, this is why you should never trust a man.”

“But Ni-ki you—”

“I’m the exception.”

Was your best friend the most suitable option for comfort? Mayhaps not, but he tried to the best of his abilities, and you appreciated his efforts.

Three consecutive knocks startled the both of you and before you could even stand upright, Ni-ki had opened the door, coming face to face with the royal commander. The both of you bowed to your superior, who merely waved the formalities off and requested an audience for a short while.

“Knight Y/N, I request you see the prince immediately as—”

“With all due respect Sir Sunghoon, I have no desire of interacting with his royal highness ever again.”

“Y/N—”

“My decision is final.”

With a dejected expression and a heavy heart, Sunghoon left the building, leaving you with a shattered mind and a dull ache in your chest. Today’s interaction had broken the thin wall you had mentally built to separate you and your lover, and you traveled right back to the beginning as if you had just run away from a shattered glass plate and a wedding announcement.

The only word to describe your predicament was reality. You and Jake had spent weeks floating around in the heavens, soaring through the skies like kites let free. Now your feet were grounded, bound in shackles that hauled behind you, growing heavier and heavier with each teardrop.

You suppose there was a way to free yourself, but it wasn’t a solution that would be found yesterday, today, or tomorrow. Once soaring, you were now drowning, ruined in the faint memories of him, him, and only him.

Days passed with monochromasy, and you buried yourself in work with the hopes of distraction. The gardens were a plate untouched, unseen to your naked eye, and instead, you frequented the confines of your bed, once slumbering with dreams about a certain man now only to slumber with cold rivulets gushing down your cheeks instead.

Hatred filled your once curious heart, seeping deep within chambers once filled with pliant affection. You found yourself obsessively irritated at training, lashing out at your colleagues for the simplest of matters and aggressively sparring during practice. As a knight, you well knew that patience was key, but Jake Sim had ignited your murderous streak and cursed you with eyes of red vision, fury the only lens through which you noticed your surroundings.

But most ironically, you hated that you wished him back. Dusk was spent with tear-stained cloths and torn newsletters, every inch of your being reminding you of who you once were. And you hated that while you were suffering, he was enjoying his new fiancé, frequenting ballrooms and relishing lively conversation.

You wanted him gone (and yet you wanted him close). You really did.

“So, Jake, what’s your favorite color?”

Jake hated everything about this setup. Currently, he was spending time with his bride-to-be (his parents had forced him to for a good relationship), and he wouldn’t be lying if he said this was extremely awkward. There was nothing wrong with Yuna per se; in all the right circumstances, Jake would’ve thought her an ideal bride. However, she wasn’t you. She wasn’t the one that he was in love with, the one that flitted through his dreams every night, the one he spent every day thinking of, the one he was smitten with.

“It’s blue. Yours?”

“Mine too!”

They both fell silent. Silence. Whenever the noise diminished between you and Jake, it felt comfortable. It was nice to cherish and he basked in it. But this silence? This silence was awkward, something he wanted to throw off a jagged cliff and never see again.

“You’re in love with someone, aren’t you?” Yuna suddenly asked, chewing on a piece of asparagus.

“What? Of course not. And even if I was, it wouldn’t matter.”

“Jake, I don’t want to spend an eternity with someone that doesn’t love me.”

His heart softened at her words, and he turned to glance up at her calculating gaze as if he was a mathematics theorem she was meant to prove. And Jake despised math.

“But we can’t—”

“We can Jake. If you will for something so badly, the universe will grant your wish. And I can see your desperation, Jake. You’re in love.”

“Stop. Please. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

They both fell silent again but this time it seemed tense, conniving. After a few moments of shifting the uneaten steak on his plate, Jake spoke up again.

“I apologize. I shouldn’t have been so impolite,”

“No no, the fault is mine. I intruded into decisions that you should be making, and I just heavily influenced you.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, have you ever been in love with someone Yuna? Do you know what it feels like?”

Yuna stopped playing with the food on her plate, freezing at Jake’s words.

“I have been in love, actually.”

Jake waited silently, noticing Yuna’s shaking hands.

“Love is a fragile thing, Jake. Once shattered, no matter how much you try to put the pieces back together, they won’t ever fit the same. I shattered it, Jake. I shattered my love for her because I wasn’t brave enough to back out of this arrangement.”

With caution, Jake outstretched his arm, silently holding Yuna’s as a sign of comfort. Although he couldn’t see her teardrops, he could hear them.

“Please Jake, please don’t make the same mistake as me.”

He looked up at her, teary-eyed and soulless, urging him on.

And then he ran.

He ran and he ran, as far as his legs could take him and even past the point of that, with only one goal in mind. Time felt supersonic, a blur that he seemed to experience only with the presence of you. Your name was all that echoed in his mind. He didn’t know where you were, or how you were doing, but he knew he had to find you. To tell you how much he loved you, how much he wanted you, how much of a fool he was letting you go. He was an idiot. But he was yours.

Your house was the first place he had visited, opening the door to a slightly angry Nishimura who relaxed once realizing the situation. He didn’t know where you were. He tried the training ground, only to see it empty. The garden, and the banquet hall, all empty. He felt like he was losing his mind, a game of cat and mouse making him a madman.

And then it hit him.

He burst open the doors to the stage, seeing you sitting on top, tracing mindless circles into the polished wood. You looked up at his entrance, your eyes filling with rage and angst as you turned to get up and leave the area.

He hated it. Eyes once filled with love and affection towards him now were violent. He loathed that he was the cause of your misery. And he was going to do everything to fix it.

“Y/N! Y/N please, please don’t leave. Just listen to me for five minutes. That’s all I ask.”

You stilled, your backbone facing him. “And why should I?”

“Because, because I made a mistake. I’ll admit it; I knew that day would come. I knew my fate was predetermined and it was my stupid fault for being a coward to not change it. And yes, I made a mistake in falling for you.”

“Is this what you—”

“But I don’t regret it. Not one bit. Because if loving you was a mistake, then I’d make it over and over again for the rest of my life. If loving you was a mistake, then suddenly I adore mistakes, because loving you was the best thing that could ever happen to me.”

He trudged up the platform, facing your tearful eyes.

“You once told me that we all want what we can’t have. I couldn’t have you Y/N. But I wanted you. I still do, so, so badly.”

He kneeled, handing you the sword he’d dubbed you with the first day you two had met.

“I want to be with you Y/N. No matter how hard it is, I want to try. So will you dub me as a knight for your love?”

He couldn’t tell what you were thinking. With tears streaming down your face and his heart pounding out of his chest, he braced himself for the worst, closing his eyes shut.

Only for you to shakily shift the blade from his shoulder to shoulder, dropping down to your knees and hugging him, crying into his shoulder.

“Knights swear an oath to never do the wrong thing, you idiot,” you speak softly, breathily, and he can feel your small smile against his shoulder. “Then I’ll be an idiot. Your idiot.”

[tortoisebore]

any tips for new writers?

(btw i am literally in love with hey, sharpshooter it had me up all night reading it <3)

**disclaimer that i am by no means a person that has any actual real education/experience in writing or character work or world building & i can only give you what has worked for me & the things i’ve kept in mind while writing my little gay fanfiction 💞👯‍♀️

my main big picture tips are not backed up in research, they’re just what’s worked for me:

1. make a deeply detailed outline. spending a lot of time writing a very long, detailed outline at the beginning helped me a lot when i felt stuck in the back half of the fic. the outline changed a lot from when i started it, and i added little notes and ideas for scenes or dialogues or character traits along the way, but all of my big idea generation happened there and it helped me a lot with pacing the plot and building the characters and their relationship gradually. also** it was not some sort of technically perfect, structured outline—this is what it looked like:

fr just get all of your ideas down on a page in whatever way works for you. this is the place to word-dump to your heart’s content!!

2. make the first draft bad. fr just get it in the page. if you’re not feeling it or don’t have any specific word choices in your head when you’re writing the first draft, don’t worry about the dialogue being realistic or having perfect flowery metaphors or beautiful descriptive world building. literally just get it on the page in whatever way you can.

3. connect the dots between the type of writing you like to read and what you like to write. i loveee books with flowery prose and metaphors and natural dialogue, and i found that i really enjoyed writing those things, so they were the goals i focused on while i was doing all my editing/second draft writing. on the flip side, if you like to read extensive world-building but find yourself struggling to find motivation/inspiration to write it, don’t. try to write how you want to write, but put more emphasis on writing how you like to write.

4. don’t force it. this has been crucial to me bc i work a 9-5 in the art/design industry and i only have so much creative energy to go around, so i have to ration it carefully. if you try to force yourself to write when you’re really not feeling it, or when you’re out of motivation and frustrated and tired, it will 100% show in your writing.

5. don’t think about posting your work. for 99% of us, this is a hobby. posting your work is not a hobby, creating it is!! rn we exist in a world where people view creativity and art solely as content to be consumed, and i encourage you to place more emphasis on actually enjoying and finding peace and meaning in the journey of making something rather than the idea of other people consuming it. what it does for you and how it makes you feel is far more important than what it does for the people pressuring you for an update you’re not ready to give them.

and then here are a couple technical/grammatical tips that i learned way back in like 6th grade english or picked up on by reading a million books over the years & still think of constantly:

1. vary your sentence structure!! i am sometimes bad at this and i don’t really pay attention to it in my first drafts, but when i go back and edit i make sure to vary my sentences by length, compound vs. simple, breaking up with semicolons or hyphens, etc. a story that’s written with strong, varied sentence types will read much more naturally and flow better than one that doesn’t

2. be intentional about starting your sentences with different words. again, when i’m writing my first drafts i don’t pay much attention to things like this, but when i’m editing i’m really anal about making sure that my sentences don’t all start with “he” or “[insert name here]” or “it” or whatever. sometimes you can’t work around it, but my goal is to never have two consecutive sentences start with the same word, and i really really try to make sure that two consecutive paragraphs don’t start with the same word

3. say your dialogue out loud. i had the hardest time trying to make my dialogue feel natural at the start but honest to god saying it out loud with all the cadence and emphases you’re writing it with can really help you find ways to make it feel like actual people talking. also, don’t be afraid to use ellipses and hyphens and break up a string of dialogue with an action, like a character sighing or biting the inside of their cheek or moving their hands. people don’t talk in perfectly-structured sentences. we run-on and don’t use punctuation and we restart or hesitate in the middle of a sentence—include that!!

[facewithoutheart]

Ten Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tags @shrekgogurt, @artsyunderstudy, @youarenevertooold, & @roomwithanopenfire I’m enjoying all this navel-gazing a whole bunch actually & I’ve done this before but it’s been awhile… sooo

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 169 (niiiice)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? ~950k (yikes) although some of that is Birthday Man and collabs with people from WIP fest. Don’t ask me to do the math tho; that’s mean.

3. What fandoms do you write for? I’ve written for HP, Check Please, and RWRB although right now I’m mostly a CO writer with a toe dipping into 9-1-1. I have one Captain America fic posted and some WIPs I don’t know if I’ll finish. Nobody look at that AFTG fic; it’s pure crack.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Whoo boy do I have thoughts here. I want to be the kind of writer who replies to comments and I harbor so much guilt that I’m not; I know I miss out on opportunities to connect with readers, and I genuinely appreciate comments so much; I hoard them in my inbox like a greedy lil affirmation dragon. I write to engage and connect. So, like, I know I should but at the same time I hate forcing interactions. I like them to spawn organically. I keep my circle small because I get really emotionally overwhelmed and then I feel guilty when I can’t give people what they deserve. And I’ve also never been comfortable with compliments or gratitude, I don’t trust them. So here’s a bulk of emotional trauma no one asked for to say: I don’t reply to comments as often as I feel I should and I’m trying to release the guilt I feel about this while also recognizing that not commenting probably has a direct negative affect on my ability to meet my goal of connecting through writing and at the same time my mental health probably couldn’t withstand the pressure I would need to place on it to get to where I’m replying to comments regularly. Hi I’m a mess who’s trying to love herself and often falls short of that goal; aren’t we all?

5. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No.

6. Have you ever co-written a fic before? So many actually! I didn’t think I’d ever get to a place where I trust someone else to the level this would take but I’ve been really lucky to work with some amazing writers even if not all of those works went anywhere. I actually don’t even think I could realistically tag all the people I’ve collabed with bc I’m afraid I’ll miss someone and isn’t that amazing? Personal growth; we love to see her.

7. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Oh man. I want to just be lame and say it’s me and Mr. Face 🤣 I shipped us when no one else did. Um! Snowbaz is always going to have a special place in my heart, but I’m really leaning into Buddie right now because of age and wanting to explore people in their 30’s still figuring out their lives while battling PTSD and late-in-life sexuality realizations. For, um. Reasons.

8. What are your writing strengths? I do like my dialogue a lot; dialogue is often where I start my scenes and I develop from there. I think I’ve done a good job of honing my ability to vary action/dialogue/internality a lot. I also think I keep people engaged or maybe I just keep myself engaged which is good enough for me. Sometimes I’m funny although sadly not as much recently.

9. What are your writing weaknesses? I struggle with remembering to add in physical descriptors. (Like oh shit have I ever mentioned this character has eyes?) Logistics are a frequent source of pain. (Wait, where were their hands?) I think my plots are kind of basic and boring; I don’t come up with really vivid and detailed concepts. I use the wrong words for things. I really hate detailing out backstory. I have to reread my fics a million times to maintain character consistency. Etc.

10. First fandom you wrote for? Hey Arnold. I wish I could find those fics; I bet they suck.

Tagging 10 peeps @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @martsonmars @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @ivelovedhimthroughworse @thewholelemon @palimpsessed @aristocratic-otter & @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[starstruckodysseys]

20 questions for 20 writers !!

thank u to @localdisasterisk for tagging me in this! i honestly do not know how many writers i follow so um. ill tag my pibe fic besties @wheelsupin-azarathmetrionzinthos @angelwiththeblue-box @fatestitcherr @incorrect-play-it-by-ear and the rest of u can fight amongst yourselves

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

48. i don’t know if its more concerning that almost half of them are from the past five months or that almost half are play it by ear. its the same almost half but still

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

143,389. woof

3. what fandoms do you write for?

obviously play it by ear. everyone knows that. also d20 occasionally and project sekai. unfortunately

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

toya and mizuki’s step by step guide to romancing a shinonome — i will be so real with you guys i specifically crafted this one to be popular. and then i fell in love with it along the way. but it did start as a science experiment

let me take you with me (just like this) — WHY. this is my second pjsekai fic and my fourth fic ever posted. it’s not at all reflective of my current style. help

kiss it better — yeah. same issue as the other one. this one’s better though lmao

say you miss me (say you want to kiss me) — honestly? just impressed a honakana fic made it up this high. love my girlies

the moon is crumbling (but that’s okay) — yeah everyone pretend to be surprised the ruikasa fic got this high up. it was a new concept for me, though, so i’m pretty proud of that

5. do you respond to comments?

i used to, but not really anymore unfortunately. to be fair, i will point you all to the fact that most of my recent fics are pibe, and then to the discord where we all scream about them together

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t usually. write sad endings. bc i don’t like them. okay that’s not true i just usually don’t. i guess the moon is crumbling?? if i had to choose?? it’s more bittersweet than anything, but people did say they cried, so…

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

99.9% of my fics are getting together fics. it’s just the same ending a million different ways. you tell me

8. do you get hate on your fics?

not publicly!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i would simply be too powerful if i could. this is for your safety actually

10. do you write crossovers?

in the sense of characters across universes/media interacting? no. in the sense of “i am going to put my blorbos in every single other setting i slightly enjoy”? absolutely. putting them under a microscope. researching and recording how they react to their surroundings

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i simply do not think there is a demand for my fics in other languages. not in like a depressing way, it’s just that i’m writing for like five people including myself, so. yknow

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but if someone wanted to… 👀

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

i’ve never written for them (yet, at least), but by sheer volume and span of time i have to say souyo persona4. my silly boys. i’ve never scoured the entire tag for a ship multiple times on ao3 like i have for them. i have so many thoughts about them that have never seen the light of day but they exist!!

15. what’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

stares awkwardly at feed your anger like fire… i’ve tried!! but it turns out that sometimes you get stuck on clothing designs and stop writing and then lose passion for the project and then stop updating for three years because you were too ambitious and also you hate your old writing style. not that i would know anything about that

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m really good at dialogue, or at least banter. unfortunately this makes me very judgmental but that’s not important. also i can create a vibe well i’ve been told

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

in general? i SUCK at character description, or at least knowing where and when to place it. i also always worry about characterization and if my characters sound too similar

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i used to read so many fics that centered around using another language (shoutout bmc fandom when i was. in that. a dark period of my life, but alas) and honestly if it’s done well i think it’s cool!! i’m not going to get into the intricacies of bilingualism on account of being an english only speaker but it is rad to me

19. first fandom you wrote for?

wrote for? probably warriors. yes the cats. i had a whole fanfic for my oc. shoutout to… honestly i don’t remember her name but she was a real one! wrote for and posted is another story, by which i mean i don’t remember At All. probably bandori tbh, bc i don’t remember if i posted fanfic on my wattpad

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

either the venn diagram of curses and crushes (which is still my favorite fic title ever) or soaking in the glory. one of them is a 3k word expedition into the play it by ear canon space and the other is a 7k word fever dream i went into a fugue state to write in two days. honorable mention to the like the sweetest cup of chai series which i hold so close to my heart. silliest besties of all time

[sematarygirls]

I will DIE on the hill that you can’t copy a story concept. A lot of books have the exact same premise but the story itself is different because a different person wrote it. I’ve read about a million regency romances about a reformed rake falling in love with a wallflower and none of those authors copied they just had an idea and liked it so they wrote it. And I’ll read a million more of them I’m sure.

I am very passionate about people claiming an idea was copied

i do agree with this to an extent. i think people are very quick to see a basic, overused premise that they happened to write about and say it was copied from them, but the truth of the matter is that there are about a billion tropes and aus, especially in fanfiction that have been written over and over again. like, i wrote ex-convict baby daddy rafe. if i see another fic featuring the premise of rafe being a criminal and having a child, i'm not going to immediately assume it was copied because 1. rafe IS a criminal, and 2. the pregnancy trope is a common one.

i think a lot of fanfiction and books, like you said, are just bare-bones ideas that people put their own unique and personal twist on to make it different and make it stand out. now, i'm not saying outright that you can't necessarily steal an idea from someone, but i am saying that coincidences do happen !! it's not unheard of for two people to have the same ideas. i have thought of things or had plots written down from my wattpad days that i come on here and see super similar stories. obviously, they didn't copy me. we just happened to have the same thoughts.

all this to say, if you think someone is plagiarizing or copied from you, have a real, mature conversation with them to try and work out if it was copied or just a coincidence, and be open to their explanation !! be open to admitting that you may be wrong. now, you may not be wrong. there are people out there who intentionally plagiarize and steal, but i think it's important to approach the situation with at least a little benefit of the doubt unless they clearly copied you by like, copy and pasting your specific words or paraphrasing your lines.

[ameliajessica]

Ok, I have never participated in one of these before, in spite of being on tumblr for like a third of my life lol, so bare with me please! I have no doubt this is going to be long and rambley! When I saw your tags on this asks meme I was like “What do you mean you don’t have a worthy fic output??? You have a million excellent fics out there?” and was earnestly shocked when I went over to ao3 and saw that you only had 10 Magicians fics. Now let me be clear, I am using the word “only” in the absolute LOOSEST sense, because as someone with a seemingly endless stack of wips constantly piling up in my docs who has never completed and posted anything longer than 8k, your treasure trove of masterpieces which include multiple fics in the double digit thousands is astoundingly impressive to me!!! But! I have re-read a few of your fics so many times that my brain has just a bunch of instances logged where I saw your name and went “mental note: one of the best writers in the Magicians fandom, part of the ultra cool club, maybe I should hold off on going through everything they’ve ever written right this very second so that I will have more from them to read on a rainy day.” So basically, the sheer awesomeness of your writing totally tricked me into not realizing that I have actually only read like 4 or 5 of your fics, and they dominated my brain enough to seem like a whole fandom’s worth. So um, with that in mind! I’ll actually ask the asks now lol

My favorite fic of yours

It is TIGHT, but I think I have to go with “just a touch of your love is enough” because that one permanently rewrote my brain chemistry and pretty much single handedly made start like a bunch of wips revolving around the concept of Quentin and Eliot being two people who were pretty ok with being in poly and open relationships until they went STUPID over each other. I’ve re-read it… maybe 5 times? 

My favorite chapter in my favorite fic of yours

To my growing shame, I am realizing that I have been saving your multichap fics this whole time. I read parts 1 and 2 of your ‘evolve’ series tho, and while I struggle to differentiate between the amazingness of Quentin’s POV vs Mike’s POV, I really really just loved the way part one closed out? I lovedddd the outsider POV of watching the Queliot sex matter more than any other sex either of them has ever had, and I really adored the gentle leaving of Mike – a little bitter but mostly just mature – telling Q not to let Eliot go. 

The best character you’ve written for

You simply cannot make me choose between Eliot and Quentin here; you write both of them so distinctly and so well!!!

The best ship you’ve written for

As I’m sure you can tell by now, this ask is extremely biased toward the Magicians. I’m sure all your other fics are equally excellent, but I found you through the Magicians and you were one of the people instrumental in me fixating on the Magicians for the past… idk. At least 2 years. So I GOTTA go Queliot. 

A fic I haven’t read yet from you, but I want to

I feel like I have been saving ‘baby please come home’ for a really really long time. I just know it’s gonna wreck me lol! 

Something I remember vividly from reading one of your fics

Oh no, there are way too many options crashing in my brain for this one at once! Um! I think I have to chicken out and go a little more general: the way you write Quentin and Eliot’s interactions with each other just ticks all my boxes for them. The thing that always really sticks with me is how you do such a great job mixing and balancing them bantering with each other and genuinely being friends who like each other and spending time together, and the soul-crushingly intense romantic feelings they have for one another, the deeply painful, star bright pining! You are so good at blending those two components so seamlessly together, even in a single conversation, and I always when reading your fics am beset with that very specific feeling when every sentence you next read is EXACTLY the sentence you want to be reading, because the characters are so well drawn. 

What made me the most emotional after reading

You have such a knack in your writing for showing just HOW MUCH Quentin and Eliot love each other. I’m always blown away and enraptured by it. The moments that have made me the most emotional are the ones that highlight how almost tragic the intensity of that love is. Quentin in the very funny and very hot ‘they ain’t got a clue (can’t love me like you do)’ thinking how mean it is for Eliot to be hot around him, and Eliot’s desperation in “just a touch of your love is enough” to just make Quentin happy the whole time no matter what. You do an excellent excellent EXCELLENT job of depicting their love as borderline tortuous without it crossing the line over into something unhealthy, and it destroys me every time without fail. 

What I like the most about your writing

In addition to your killer characterization, your excellent banter and comedy, your really truly perfect smut writing skills for both the hot and the tender (and weaving plot and character into the sex scenes in an impeccable way that always keeps my ace-spec ass LOCKED in) I just really love all the minutia of your like sentence structure and rhythm and all that good stuff. Your writing style pulls me right along in such a way that I often forget I am reading and not just injecting the story directly into my veins, but every time I emerge from the pools of my delight it is to notice something like “ooo, that was just some really solid prose right there”. I love your stuttering staccato period usage when you are writing from Quentin’s pov, the way you use your sentence structure, rhythm and grammar to emphasize the character. 

A fic i’m excited for you updating/posting

Alright I categorically DO NOT want to make you feel pressured or bad about your unfinished works. Again, I have a million wips I haven’t started posting yet, and just in general I have lost interest in some of my works before and know how complicated that can feel, so I really don’t want to bring up any of your pieces without knowing if that is welcome or if you have lost interest in them. That said I gotta say the concept for “wreck my plans (that’s my man)” TUGS at me, and I would love to read more of any Magician’s works from you at any time! If you are still into the fandom and feel like adding onto any of your fics or posting new ones, just know that you have an avid reader in me! And, if you ever wanted a beta or cheerleader, well I admire you deeply, think you are just SO COOL, and desperately wanna be your friend so like… please please please feel free to hit me up

A character/ship I didn’t enjoy/think about as much before you wrote about them

Hmm, I can’t say I didn’t enjoy or think about Margo and Quentin’s friendship before reading the way you write them, but I do think you added onto that love significantly. Same goes for the concept of Quentin and Eliot: accidental monogamists, a concept I think you like PERFECTED lol

Something I wish/hope you write

See #9 lol. I guess… I also gotta mention that every time I read ‘they ain’t got a clue (can’t love me like you do)’ a part of me is dying for an Eliot’s pov of the whole thing. You just do such a good job of showing Eliot’s pov from INSIDE Quentin’s pov while Quentin remains oblivious, and it leaves me yearning haha

A fic of yours that i’ve re-read

‘they ain’t got a clue (can’t love me like you do)’, “just a touch of your love is enough”, “i feel it in my body, know it in my mind”, and “if being him is who you are/ say it loud say your know you are” just… so many times. 

If i’ve ever shared/talked about your fic to someone else

Hmm, not exactly? People don’t often ask me for recs lol, but if they did you would be at the top of my list!

A fic I didn’t expect to like so much

Let’s see… maybe  “i feel it in my body, know it in my mind”? I think when I first read that one I mixed the summary up with a different one I didn’t remember liking as much, but thought I should try re-reading anyway, and was DELIGHTED by what I got instead

A question I have about one of your fics

Hmm… This one is hard because your fics are all so fleshed out I don’t really leave them confused about anything. Are there any Magician’s fics you feel like you might return to one day, and are there any you feel pretty positive you aren’t interested in anymore? Are there any still in the works that haven’t made it to ao3 yet? What was your favorite one to write?

Anyway, hope you are having a lovely day! Your fics mean the world to me! I wanna befriend you so awkwardly bad! Genuinely hit me up if you would like a beta or cheerleader! You are such a good writer it's insane! Thank you for all the wonderful work you have put out into the world!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

hello!!! i confess i have been putting off answering this just because once i did it would obviously vanish from my inbox, and it is genuinely one of the most thoroughly, generously detailed thoughts on my fic i have ever received, in over a decade of this little hobby. i'm genuinely so floored you would take the time to respond to this based off a little tag comment i made (that i did indeed make bc i know some amazing magicians' fic authors who have such profilic, sprawling output). i'm gonna save this and look at it whenever i have doubts that anyone cares if i continue with my little magicians fics, which i do intend to do! i tend to chip away at them every few months, coo over how much i love quentin and eliot, and then move on, but i will put something substantial out there one day i promise.

so to answer the rest of your questions! ahem:

definitely 'show a little faith', or thanksgiving fic as it's known in my head, is the primary victim of my fic pecking. i have the outline etc in my head it's just getting it out there on paper, as it were.

similar, the q as margo's assistant AU, written for best girl @coldbam and i have to give credit: was her idea in the first place. she had said she wished someone wrote something like it, and for that reason it was more of a burst of something i wrote to have something to give nicole on her birthday that year given our tragically perpetual long-distance friendship, and the story beats were a bit more nebulous. BUT it was really fun and i had enough direction that i could go back to it (and many notes on ideas for scenes, many of them run by nicole on the phone to ensure they aligned with her ~vision).

there's a few longer WIPs/ongoing ideas that aren't on ao3 at all, but very much exist in fits and starts of writing and EXTENSIVE notes lmao, as is my way.

an AU where q is a TA/professor, and eliot and margo went to fillory prior to quentin enrolling and now he is an advisor who has to go back to take a class for reasons (they need a minor mending spell for some kind of kingdom reason; margo is king here). the idea came about just bc i'll be honest, professor/student pairings aren't totally my thing but i think eliot would get a lot of horny mileage out of it, especially bc q would be like "stop that's problematic!!!" (while also horny secretly). age gaps aren't also super my thing but especially eliot and q being only a year or so apart is very important to their dynamic to me also, hence q only being a TA or a very new professor at that (with maybe eliot and margo being in fillory for a few years at that point).

oh man, the fic lovingly titled 'fillory boy AU' that got so so much attention in my group chat with nicole above and beloved @kenshivshow. it's a similar concept to @hmgfanfic's INCREDIBLE fic, where q is a boy from fillory and eliot marries him instead of fen, but mine is a lot sillier and hornier and much less sprawling and impressive. i love it a lot and it has a lot of it written.

my favourite one to write is such a hard question. i am a corny loser who genuinely loves writing all fic bc otherwise i wouldn't do it. but:

just a touch of your love is enough was my first big bang so i gotta give that a shout out, plus the amazing art by @lu-does-eurovision!

they ain't got a clue (can't love me like you) gave me the chance to write a plotline from probably my favourite show, grey's anatomy, and i also managed to get it all out in a weekend bc i was so inspired. a thrilling feeling i will continue to chase forever!

again thank you so much, this message made my day when i got it and made my days over and over when i would go back to it. i'm really honoured and grateful!

[lehnsherrrr]

Fanfic takes (either controversial or common I don’t know)

I just want to say that I hope I don’t offend or upset anyone with this post, I’ve been reading fanfiction for 9 years and I’ve never been able to talk about it until this very moment. Just want to know if anyone relates.

First of all, I’m sorry but I absolutely cannot stand a fic that’s written in the style of a group chat.

Like:

David69: Hey

Jones420: Whatsup

It’s so unnatural, it doesn’t make sense, it always feels forced. I don’t mind a group chat segment cause I understand that may be hard to describe, but the whole thing? Come on man, you’ve obviously got the idea, no shame in just trying to write it normally. I love creativity but I CANNOT with it.

Then it’s like obvious things, or I’d like to think they’re obvious. Punctuation.

Bad punctuation will ruin your whole fic no matter how good your idea or descriptions are, no matter how many words or chapters. I will assume you are 12. You don’t have to understand what one of these ; does, just at least know when there’s supposed to be a paragraph.

I can’t believe the amount of fics I’ve abandoned because two different people would have dialogue in the same paragraph. Come on man.

It’s forgivable if you are actually young (but I don’t want to be reading fanfiction written by someone young, no offence younger me) or if English is not your first language. That being said, I’m mostly sure that punctuation is pretty similar for most languages.

If you struggle like I do/did with things such as how long sentences should be, rereading it always helps. Especially if you leave some time between writing it and proof reading. So often I’ll come back to my work and be like “tf was I trying to say??? Is that even English??”

Better yet, use an ai voice to read it for you. Love a bit of ethical use of ai. (There’s apps that have voices that have been bought and not stolen.) ((but no one’s gonna hurt you if you want to hear Morgan freeman read out your smut shot))

Also Grammarly is free, it can scan your text and tell you what could be improved.

This one might be a me thing, like a “what do yall know about them” sort of situation. Mischaracterisation is obviously a crime unless it’s an au specifically about that, BUT, I mean specifically their dialogue.

I’m autistic (if you couldn’t tell) and have synthesisia, so this might be different for me, but I can hear the characters talking before I write it. I can hear exactly how they’d respond and what words they’d use, their little movements and body language they’d make while saying it. So when I read a fic that writes 2 middle aged men like they’re texting teenagers, I get a little peeved. It’s not the biggest crime, I will continue to read anyway, but I often separate those characters from the source material in my head. I’m reading a fanfiction about these characters, they gotta be those characters, not just people with the same names and features.

Honestly being me I’d probs write a million more things here, I’m a professional hater. To be honest though I do enjoy hating, I think it’s a love language of sorts. I like to pay attention. I also feel bad when I can see that an author probs had a good idea but I just cannot read it. I’d never ever ever leave a comment saying anything, not even a “hey girly! Just so yk you need to use paragraphs!” Sort of comment. I just hope people learn from their own mistakes and develop as they get experience.

Anyway.

PEACE AND LOVE

Plz share any more grievances in the comments or reposts, love a good yap!

[mckiwi]

Marvel Fics

McKiwi Writes on: AO3

Title || Rating || Category || Words || Status* || Summary

Multiple Chapters*

"Oblivescence" || Teen || Gen || 6,032 || Incomplete

Oblivescence: noun [ob-luh-ves-uh ns] the process of forgetting. The human brain has a limit, Stephen of all people should know that. To view those fourteen million futures, he had to sacrifice something. His memories. It started with the first few hundred timelines, a few deaths from Dormammu, neurology facts he'll never need again… but the spell became greedy. Now, he can't remember why his hands hurt.

"Strange Tales of Halloween" || Gen || Gen || 3,071 || Complete

Hosted by A Strange Server. Each prompt will be treated as a daily journal entry written by Stephen Strange.

"The Raven" || Teen || Gen || 13,114 || Complete

Raven: Symbol of prophecy and insight, the bridge between the material world and the spiritual. Though very intelligent and clever, these creatures are said to bring misfortune upon those in their path. Call it a nightmare or call it a revelation, either way, a psychopath hellbent on universal balance is on the horizon. Even if they were to defeat Thanos, what threats would come after him? Was this world as safe as it seemed? Stephen held the power of time in his scarred hands, why not use it? In fact, just to ensure this world stayed safe, why not use all of it? All the power. All the infinity stones. It's his job to protect this reality, and he's never been one to take his job lightly. One stone down, five to go. The avengers were growing more and more aware of the sorcerer's intentions. The line was drawn once Wong called for help. With three stones in his possession and an ambition to rival even the gods, it would take everyone to stop him.

One Shots

"Delusions Of Happiness" || Teen || Gen || 1,105

What good is a Sorcerer Supreme to a world that's lost it's magic? What good is a heart to a man with no one to love? Sinister does this Stephen, like so many others out there, a favor.

"End Of Story" || Gen || Gen || 2,295

Part of her felt bad for the other dimensions, specifically their civilians. They always succumbed to Dormammu’s power without much of a fight, if any was given at all. That is until her uncle tried to invade Earth. “Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain.” (The story of how Clea and Stephen first meet)

"Fighting Your Shadows" || Gen || Gen || 100

Someone is tormenting Stephen's thoughts throughout Multiverse of Madness.

"Heat of the Moment" || Teen || Gen || 3,191

"Heat of the Moment": Asia, 1982. Something is invading and killing the villagers of Jotunheim. Now sitting as king of Jotunheim, Loki reluctantly summons Stephen to help him save his kingdom. Stephen gets to prove magic isn't the only thing he's good at.

"Knocking On Death's Door" || Gen || Gen || 743

Stephen Strange was a doctor, a good one at that– a great one. He and Death had never been on good terms. She took his family from him, so he took his patients’ lives back from Her. He always stood outside of Death’s door, guarding it, keeping it locked away from others as best as he could. But Death comes for everyone, in the end.

"Yesterday" || Gen || Gen || 3,107

"Yesterday": The Beatles, 1965. After the events of No Way Home, Stephen finds a Midtown High cup in the undercroft. Assuming an invader has somehow made it past the Sanctum's defenses, Stephen decides to investigate, which somehow leads him to a lonely teenage boy. Who is this kid and what was he doing in the Sanctum?

Whumptober 2021

"Day 1: All Trussed Up and Still Nowhere To Go (Barbed Wire)"

"Day 2: Talking is Overrated (Gagged)"

"Day 3: Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones (Taunting):

"Day 4: Trust Fall (Pushed)"

"Day 5: I've Got Red in My Ledger (Betrayal)"

"Day 6: Touch and Go (Touch-Starved)"

"Day 7: Blind to the Consequences (Blindness)"

"Day 8: Coughing Up a Lung (Exotic Illness)"

"Day 9: Rumors of my Death have been Greatly Exaggerated (Presumed Dead)"

"Day 10: Oops, I Did It Again (Hospital)"

"Day 11: Just Keep Swimming (Drowning)"

Whumptober 2022

"Day 1: A Little Out of the Ordinary (Adverse Effects)"

"Day 2: Nowhere to Run (Confrontation)"

"Day 3: Hair's Breadth from Death (Impaled)"

"Day 4: Dead On Your Feet (Hidden Injury)"

"Day 5: Every Whumpee's Needs (Tears)"

"Day 6: Proof of Life ("I've Got a Pulse")"

"Day 7: The Way You Shake and Shiver (Shaking Hands)"

"Day 8: Everything Hurts and I'm Dying (Stomach Pain)"

"Day 9: The Very Noisy Night (Caught in a Storm)"

"Day 10: Poor Unfortunate Souls (Stabbed)"

"Day 11: "911, What's Your Emergency?" (Self-Done First Aid)"

"Day 12: What Could Go Wrong (Sensory Overload)"

"Day 13: Can't Make an Omelette Without Breaking a Few Eggs (Dislocation)"

"Day 14: Die a Hero or Live Long Enough to Become a Villain ("I'll Be Right Behind You")"

"Day 15: Emotional Damage (Lies)"

"Day 16: No Way Out (Mind Control)"

"Day 17: Hanging By a Threat (Reluctant Caretaker)"