#but i would think if i continued pursuing masters i already have found that love and passion lmao

[mikrobiotch]

i complain alot when it comes to uni and my course, but not gonna lie, here on my final year i've started to fall in love with it again, the way the fascination started when i was younger and learning new things was exciting.

throughout learning it always felt like i was not built for it, that I just cannot for the life of me focus and dedicate myself on anything. and i was just doubting myself and i should change courses or drop out because I was not meant to do this. and now on my second last semester, things kinda clicked. It may be hard for me to understand and learn, but it's worth it. To see the universe in all of its beauty, its ugliness, its complexity, its charm; it's a struggle but I'll endure it for you.

and I find myself really hoping I get to continue down in the stream of sciences and contribute to something for nature and for humanity as well, or at least deepen my understanding of how this universe works and widen my view of how intricate and special this world we live in actually is, how caring it is, how every single thing is worth something, and nothing from nature is ever truly useless

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Love and marriage

"I will never get married." Seven year old Lan Wangji proclaims to his uncle as he practices calligraphy under the senior's guidance one evening. It had been about six months after his mother's passing, and only two days ago that little Wangji waited dutifully in the harsh winter storm for the door to the gentian house to open.

It did not. It never will again. But Wangji's resolve seemed iron-clad, and he did not leave until curfew that day.

It had been a miracle how he did not become ill - or worse! - spending time outside in such conditions. But though his body seemed surprisingly unaffected, his mind had not, falling into a deep, pensive state, even more quiet than before.

It had been for this reason that Lan Qiren brought the boy in to spend time with him and observe him - all under the guise of teaching. Despite his young age, Wangji had already mastered calligraphy.

The boy's statement made his uncle's eyes lift from the book he had been reading, an eyebrow raised. Part of him wished to say "you better not!", as any other paternal figure would tell their child at this age. But Lan Qiren had a feeling there was more to those words than it appeared on the surface, so he asked:

"What brought this on?"

"I have been thinking." Little Wangji says, a long pause following as he places his brushes neatly to the side of his parchment paper. "It is because mother married father that she is...gone."

Lan Qiren stared, stunned, at the little boy before him. He seemed confident in his assessment, though nevertheless saddened about it, like a man that had found a treasure that brought him no joy.

"It is also because their marriage that you and your brother have been born." Lan Qiren countered, in a way that was almost gentle, if slightly chiding. "Life is not as simple as it appears to be. And not all marriages are the same."

Not all marriages are like your parents' - but Lan Qiren could not have said that without sounding bitter and resentful, which was unadvisable in dealing with a grieving child that was not an orphan only if by virtue of his father still being alive and nothing more.

"How do you know?" Wangji asked, earnest though disbelieving, "How can one be sure their marriage will not be... lonely?"

Lan Qiren stared at the boy again, seeing so much of his father in his honeyed eyes. How could he respond to that? Lan Qiren had never been particularly romantically inclined. If anything, he preferred the company of books and studies more than people, and he had never found himself yearning for even the concept of a romantic relationship. He had received numerous requests for courtship or marriage - some even for mere physical encounters - but he had never felt the need or the desire to pursue anything of that nature with anyone. What would he know about marriages, let alone happy ones?

"It is never guaranteed how such things may turn out." Lan Qiren replied, after a while.

Wangji did not seem to react to that answer. His uncle sighed quietly - what had he been doing, working himself up over the words of a seven year old? Kids his age are fickle, as it is expected. Why had he been treating the boy's words as final? For all he knew, Wangji may change his mind by supper or by next morning - after all, children his age do not have the conviction of adults, nor do they even remember their promises by the time they may have to make good on them.

"Regardless, if you do not wish to marry, then you may not if it is not necessary" Lan Qiren added, and little nodded slightly, satisfied with the answer. He picked his brush back up and continued to write.

After a while, he spoke: "I will neber keep anybody against their will."

--

Lan Wangji was 15 years old when he first met Wei Wuxian and it became apparent to all their peers and the rest of the Lan sect that they did not get along. With Wei Wuxian boisterous and relentless pursuit of friendship and Lan Wangji's ice-cold refusal of it, it appeared that whatever cordiality one might expect between young masters of their standing was lost forever.

However, Lan Qiren had raised the famed Second Jade of Lan and he could easily see it was not disgust or anger that he expressed over Yunmeng Jiang's head disciple, but rather an annoyed, relentless denial of his otherwise normal desire for human connection.

It did not bring Lan Qiren any ease though - Cangse Sanren's son was so visibly her own that the man sometimes felt like he interacted with her ghost - and he did not believe that to be a good thing for Lan Wangji. Despite his indifferent exterior, his heart was fragile, and Lan Qiren worried for him in the presence of Wei Wuxian.

It had been this very topic that had come up as Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen shared tea one day, enjoying the fresh magnolia blooms.

"It appears Wangji may not keep to his childhood promise." Xichen smiled, "I believe you have noticed it as well."

Lan Qiren sighed deeply as he took a sip of herbal tea. "You appear unnecessarily happy about this development."

Xichen smiled again, fox-like, and for a moment Lan Qiren saw his brother, young and mischevous, concocting plans over tea.

"Does he know?" Lan Qiren found himself asking.

"He seems to be struggling with it." Xichen replied, looking into the distance towards the training grounds, wherefrom a lot of otherwise unusual noise was echoing.

"As expected."

Silence befalls the two. Xichen smiles meaningfully into his tea.

"Would it be wrong of me to assume this is one of the reasons you have entrusted young master Wei's punishment to Wangji?"

Lan Qiren's eyes narrow, but he does not reply. Xichen's smile widens, but conversation lulls.

---

Lan Wangji had so desperately hoped Wei Wuxian would listen. He had hoped Wei Wuxian would be able to understand all the things Lan Wangji could not say, all his intentions, all his worries and all his feelings - and he would have listened, and agreed.

But he had not.

And for a moment, a traitorous few seconds, it had crossed Lan Wangji's mind. It had, despite how much he had tried to convince himself it never would, that such a thing would never even occur to him.

But it did.

He had thought of trying to do what his father had done in his pursuit of protecting his mother - he had thought of taking Wei Ying with him to the Cloud Recesses whether he opposed it or not, and keeping him there, safely, for the rest of forever.

He had refused even the thought of it, dismissing it as quickly as it had appeared, and it disgusted him to know his mind had been able to conjure it in the first place - the very thing he had sworn he would never wish for let alone ever do, had presented itself as an option in his mind.

And Lan Wangji hated it.

He had visited the gentian house that day, and stayed there until curfew.

"I wish to bring someone back to the Cloud Recesses... take him back and hide him away... but he is not willing."

---

For all the agony Lan Wangji suffered, he felt no remorse at all, as if he had fulfilled his fate in a way he had not even known had been intended for him. He had accepted his punishment with placid resignation, not even once declaring himself regretful of his actions. It was difficult for him to assess whether he had failed or not, but at least he had tried to protect the man he could have finally allpwed himself to accept he loved.

But, almost as though fate was keen on fulfilling the promise he made at seven years old, that very man had just been pronounced dead, the news delievered by celebratory letters and festivals that bore more evil than Wei Wuxian had ever done.

Lan Xichen carefully assisted the healers cleaning and bandaging Lan Wangji's wounds, a process he had grown to despise as much as he looked forward to it. It was only with this pretext that he could visit his little brother now, as he had been sent into seclusion, and it worried Xichen not to know how he was dealing not only with the new knowledge, but his own state as well.

As the healers left the room, Xichen stood by his brother's bed for a few minutes, in silence. He had hoped some words would be coming to him at some point, but he could not find anything appropriate to say at the moment, stroking Wangji's hair off his face instead.

"Were you there?" Wangji asked after a few moments, voice hoarse and empty, as if he had screamed it raw.

"I was not."

"Who was?"

"I do not know."

Lan Xichen had chosen to lie that day, and did not regret it. As much as he valied honesty, he knew it was not the truth Wangji needed then.

What was Xichen supposed to even say? That their uncle had watched the last few moments of Wei Wuxian's life alongside the other sect leaders? That the besiegers cheered on his death as his body disintegrated into nothingness under the force of the Burial Mounds?

That they slaughtered innocent people like cattle?

"Did they find him?"

"No."

That had not been a lie. Many had believed Wei Wuxian had not died, even if they saw him enveloped in resentful energy as he screamed in pain until all that was left was silence. They wanted proof of it, a body, a shred of anything - perhaps to only defile him more.

But they had not found anything.

Wangji sighed, the breath heavy from his lungs.

"I dreamt I married him."

Xichen's eyes turned soft, pitiful, "Perhaps in another life."

"Perhaps."

---

Thirteen years later, the Cloud Recesses murmur with excitement as groups of disciples move to and fro, carrying decorations and supplies like tireless ants of a busy hive.

The wedding is in a couple of weeks, but sect leader Lan as well as master Lan Qiren had ordered the preparations start early in order to ensure all is ready for the great celebration.

"For how much your uncle disapproves of me, he sure is invested in our wedding." Wei Wuxian laughs as he and his soon-to-be-official husband inspect the ancestral hall, the designated venue for the event.

"Uncle is very thorough." Lan Wangji replies, "And his distrust of you has lessened over the past years."

"I would hope so." A laugh, "Though he is probably more concerned in doing right by you."

"Nevertheless, I believe it is for both of us."

Wei Wuxian laughs again, squeezing his beloved's hand. "Say, I heard something from a very, very reliable source..."

"What did my brother tell you again?"

"I heard you said you'd never marry anyone when you were a kid. I bet seven year old Lan Zhan would be disappointed!" Wei Wuxian jokes, a teasing smile on his lips that Lan Wangji cannot be blamed for kissing right now.

"Seven year old me had not met you yet." He replied, softly, "He would've known better."

[lightlycareless]

I found a picture of Naoya playing the piano and want to show it to you. My fav scene where naoya teaches his wife piano. I love the scene sm 🤭🤭

HIIII how are you!!!!??? Thank you for patience 🥺

Omg thank you so much for sending me this ajkghajgajgs Naoya is a man of many talents, and him using them to brighten your day is 🥺 I'll always hold that scene close to my heart, them bonding together is just 😭 oh, I wish we could have more moments like that.

And we can... I mean, I wrote a little something, like a deviation from what I have planned lol a what if, if you must 😏

warnings: none. fluff. it's based on this fic. now that's a whole can of worms. proceed with caution.

Imagine you deciding to continue your piano lessons after growing somewhat genuinely interested in learning.

After a few sessions you’ve began to show improvement. Sure, you still struggle with certain things, such as jumping from one octave to the other, but anyone could easily admit you were not the same amateur from before.

And yet… there seemed to be something holding you back from taking the next step. You were already a master of twinkle twinkle little star, so why couldn’t you move onto something a bit more difficult?

Well, it was plain simple. Quite obvious, actually, for an outsider that is. Naoya was too blinded by his role as a teacher to even notice.

It was all intentional, made from your desire to keep him close, enjoying the way he’d place his arms around you, his large hands over yours as he guides you into the correct position to play even if you already knew how.

All to keep feeling his breath on your skin, the cologne you now solely associated with him, and you suppose his attention too, especially when you played the shy, tense student that desperately needed the guidance of her sensei.

To voice such ploys made you feel silly, if not selfish, but you didn’t know how to voice your need without feeling embarrassed. You didn’t want to appear needy before a man that is always busy, and yet, here you were, acting as if you’d never seen a piano in your life.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Naoya loves spending time with you, even though seemingly mundane activities. But even he was getting a bit… frustrated with these lessons that were quickly growing repetitive. His perfectionist temperament demanded he’d do everything right, or at least strive for it, naturally extending to you. Obviously for you, the woman whom he wanted to please more than anything in this world.

You showed enough promise, a talent that could be polished if pursued, so why weren’t you advancing?

Was it… him, perhaps? Your actions consequence of his failure as a teacher?

Maybe. Naoya isn’t known for being a particularly good listener, less of an educator. There’s enough witnesses to asses to it.

Your husband just hopes his incapability doesn’t push you away from wanting to learn piano, Naoya would rather die than to cut short these already scarce moments with you.

Though it’s more likely that he’ll do that anyways, a well-prepared teacher appears to be a better alternative.

“… but I don’t get it. Maybe there’s something I’m not seeing.” Naoya frowns, adjusting his position near you and taking your hands with him once more, hoping that it’ll come to him. The solution to your problem.

He sighs when it doesn’t. For the nth time. Maybe he is a bad teacher after all.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I don’t think I’ll be able to teach you anymore.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I’m just having a tough time figuring out how to help you.” Naoya laments. “I may have underestimated my skills.”

You know what they say, the best way to check if you know something is by teaching it to someone else. Something like that, or so he’s heard.

“Don’t say that I think you’re doing great!” You encouraged, looking over to Naoya and his deep frown, evidence of the frustration your little ploy has inflicted on him. Had you known he would be so affected by it you would’ve gone easier with your obliviousness…

And yet, it was endearing to see your impact on him. How hard he was trying to make things work for you—you still couldn’t believe how much of an influence you had on him, even if he’s already proved the lengths he was willing to go to make you happy.

…Like the protective husband he swore to be on your wedding day.

“You don’t have to mock me, mochi” Naoya insists. “I think you’d be better off with an actual teacher if you still want to learn.”

You do, but…

“…I want you.” You murmur, so lowly, so… sweetly, that Naoya had to double check he heard you right the first time around, quickly swirling his head onto your direction, frozen the moment your doe-like, hypnotizing eyes, those he could never get enough of, landed on his, with such intensity that let him know it was all true.

The purpose you were attempting to convey many lessons ago instantly becoming clear to him. The intentions you were too shy to speak out loud, but not enough to sway you from trying, an unknown edge of yours that had him both impressed and absorbed.

One never stops knowing their partner, do they?

What an enthralling thought to have.

“Is that so?” He murmurs back, leaning closer to you. “You’d be fine with someone like me as your teacher, princess?”

“I couldn’t think of anyone… better.” You blush. And though intimidated by his piercing gaze, you persisted. When you once cowered away, you now wished to be the only person his eyes saw.

“Then I guess I’ll have to try harder.”

Maybe it’s because he was within your reach, or because you had enough of going around in circles, whatever it was, you couldn’t hold back anymore; and with the noise of your heart deafening your ears, you lean closer to him, removing the gap between the two and placing your lips over his. Gently, sweetly, like it was your first time, and took him in—sealing your newfound sentiments with a kiss he’s long been dreaming of.

So much that he’s almost in disbelief, remaining still as he tries his best to both contain his excitement, heart ready to burst through his chest, hands itching to pull you closer and keep you there, afraid that the moment he peels away you’ll disappear, just as he’s forced you to through the beginning of this marriage.

Naoya too felt like it was the first time he’s ever kissed anyone—perhaps kissed anyone with love. With that soft warmth he could only label as true love. What he feels for you now, has always been so, and hopefully, you too.

After a few seconds, much to Naoya’s dismay, you’re the first one to separate, slowly pulling away and opening your eyes to the sight of your flustered husband, the adorable face of a man that has dreamed of this day for god knows how long, giving you the impression (alongside a sense of guilt) that maybe you should’ve been a bit more direct with your actions.

Though how everything came to be… wasn’t that bad.

“You didn’t have to go through all that, you know?” Naoya teases, his attempt to cool down the heat on his cheeks. “If you just wanted to kiss me, you just had to say so.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you joke back, and he smirks, letting out a chuckle. “…But I guess I shouldn’t have wasted your time.”

“Being with you is no waste of time.”

Now it’s your turn to grow speechless, face red, perhaps even more than Naoya’s, due to the vast, unexpected sweetness of his words, and the overwhelming embarrassment it provided you, leading you to cover your face with your hands and making him laugh even louder.

“You don’t need to act this way with me, love.” Naoya says, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. “We’ve done more… heated things, after all. This is nothing.”

“Oh, stop it! Is that your way of comforting me?!” You gasp, burying your face deeper into his chest.

“It is the truth, love. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“You know well I wasn’t referring to that” you murmur. “…but… do you really feel that way…?”

“I’d give you the whole world if you asked.”

But even if you didn’t, he was going to do so, because he has long sworn in his own life that he’d do everything in his power to make up for all the wrongdoings he’s inflicted upon you. His best to erase the vile acts he did when he called himself your so-called husband.

For as long as it takes, all of his lifetime if so needed, and the next one, and the next one.

“I think I’ll be happy just to hear you play the piano for now.” You eventually add. “If you don’t have anything else to do.”

“I’m all yours today—”

“And...” you interrupt, Naoya blinks.

“And?”

“If I can kiss you again.” You say, shyly looking up to him. “If you want…”

“Hm, I don’t know… you’ll have to convince me.”

“How do I do that?” you tilt your head.

“By giving me a kiss for each time you had me going around in circles.”

With unprecedented speed, you quickly grabbed his face and begging to pepper kisses all over his face, Naoya more than happy that you were, and a bit startled too.

“Wait, Y/N��did you even want to learn how to play??” He rightfully concludes.

“A bit, I guess.” You giggle. “But really I just wanted to be with you.”

Naoya immediately succumbs to your gestures soon after that, putty on your hands as he lets himself be appreciated by the woman of his dreams, the love of his life—the owner of his heart.

Your heart squeezes with longing. Who knew Naoya could be this… adorable? So sweet, you didn’t have the heart to deny him—

Nor would you, setting to live out the rest of your life as his wife.

For good, this time.

I always liked the idea of you being able to feel Naoya's heart. Like, how fast it is beating because of how happy he is with you 🥺 Thankfully I do have another prompt with that exact same situation, though it's a HS au. Also, this is not their fated kiss I owe y'all, I think what I have planned is much better 😏 (or so I hope)

Now, thank you so much for waiting for my answer 🥺 I'm still slowly but surely working through them requests :> I always appreciate whenever you send me something (so don't be afraid of sharing more hehe)

Take care and hope to see you soon!!

[asumofwords]

Smoke, Fire and Ash

Warnings: This fic includes noncon, dubcon, manipulation, violence, death, forced marriage, and inc3st. Tags will be added as the fic goes on.

This is a dark!fic. 18+ only. Read at your own discretion. Please read the warnings before continuing.

Summary: You are the eldest daughter of Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen. You are forced to navigate the difficult surroundings of your upbringing and the eventual disintegration between your family and the Hightower's relationship. What will happen when your older and estranged uncle suddenly takes a more sinister interest in you? (Dark!Aemond x Reader)

Masterlist

Characters: Aemond Targaryen X Reader, HOTD characters.

Note: Hello angels, here is another chapter! As always thank you all for the love you show me and all your kind words, I love reading all of your messages and comments/replies!! Everyone seems to love Gwayne Hightower lol !

Setting a boundary here: Please stop asking me when the next update is going to be when there has been a ONE DAY BREAK, its really rude and fucking annoying hehe (i'm at my breaking point with these dms).

ANYWAY... I wrote this chapter ages ago ahead of time and have been itching to get you all here... hehe... Enjoy <3

Chapter 64: A Bee 

You walked around the Keep aimlessly, looking at the different Lords and Ladies who shuffled aimlessly through the castle, thinking of who you could pursue. You thought of how Aegon and Aemond had both happily, and openly found pleasure with others. And how women like your mother were punished for doing the same. 

You had left your chambers with clarity in your mind. You would find someone else. If Aemond was to travel and love another, then you would too, only minus the travel.

They could be your ally in the Keep. You could spend your time talking to them and enjoying your days in each others company. You would not be so alone in the Keep. And above all of this, it could be advantageous.

When you left your chambers, you walked with no destination round the Keep. More specifically, the areas were Lords and Ladies would frequently pass. You had walked and observed, watched and deliberated on who would be a good match for you.

You thought of the names you already knew.

Perhaps the Lannister? But even the idea of taking him into your bed made your skin crawl, for all of Aemond’s cruelty, you knew that he would at least bring you pleasure, and doubted that the Lannister even knew how. 

You thought of Cregan Stark. Now he would be a good match. He was about your age, a few years older, maybe the same as Aemond. He was, from what you had been told, a handsome and respectful Lord. He was said to have the famed dark, curly hair of the Starks and eyes to match. But he was in the North, and thankfully allied to your mother, and you doubted that he would be able to sneak into the Keep unnoticed, nor you be able to send word to him by raven. 

It would have to be someone who came to the Red Keep frequently.

Or resided in Kings Landing at least.

You let yourself lean against a wall in a hallway, watching potential suitors walk past you. To your dismay, most of the Lords were old and balding, whilst the women refused to meet your gaze. You thought of Ser Criston Cole, but shrugged the thought away quickly with a shiver. He would not come to your bed willing and at the slightest hint of your plotting he would tuck tail and run to his precious Hightower Queen. You would do well to avoid him at all costs.

Lest you end up like you mother.

You shuddered at the thought and continued to watch the people walk about the Keep.

And then you saw someone promising.

He was tall, though not as tall as Aemond, and with a regular build. His skin was pale and dark curled hair was cut close to his head. He was not the most handsome man you had seen, but in a Keep with limited options you thought he would be a good enough.

Lord Jasper Wylde, Master of Laws, member of Aegon’s small council, walked through the halls slowly, large tome and parchment in hand. His eyes were a light brown, and he had a trimmed dark beard around his face. His face was stern and his eyes were hard, a most serious looking man.

You smiled at him gently as he walked closer towards you, moving to pass you in the halls. 

“Lord Wylde.” You greeted, straightening your posture as you smiled sweetly at him. 

You had not spoken once to the man, merely been in his presence a few times, including once when you has dined with Aegon on your wedding night. The Lord slowed his step and looked down at you, hint of interest in his eyes.

Perfect.

“Princess.” He greeted back, and moved to continue his walk. You pushed away from the wall to come beside him, his eyes watching your move.

“Might I accompany you on your walk?” You asked sweetly, hands behind your back as you pushed your chest forward subtly. You felt a prickle run along your skin.

You had heard from Saria that the Lord was known as Ironrod to the small folk, for he was unbending and immovable with his beliefs. A small voice wondered that if he was called Ironrod for another reason. Lord Jasper had sired over twenty-nine children, and had wed four wives, three of whom you knew had died in child birth.

“Of course, My Lady.” Wylde responded, uncertainty in his voice as you slowly began to walk together through the halls of the Red Keep.

“I must apologise for my behaviour in the Throne room the other day,” You began, knowing that he had witnessed your outburst. You needed to be sweet, saccharine, a docile woman he may take advantage of, “I was finding myself emotional after so long apart from my husband.” You looked down shyly at your feet as you walked. 

The Master of Laws stayed quiet beside you as you continued. Perhaps he would not be as easy as you had thought. You turned another corner, looking at the man as something moved in the corner of your eye.

“Does your wife reside here in Kings Landing with you, My Lord?” 

“My late Lady Wife passed away in childbirth two moons ago.”

Four wives then.

You slowed your step, frown pulling your lips downwards. A shiver rolled down your back and your hairs stood on end.

“My condolences. Are you being looked after?”

Jasper smiled down at you softly, “Of course, Princess. King Aegon provides all that I need here.”

Ugh.

“I am gladdened to hear this.” You paused looking back down at your feet as he slowed his step, curious eyes looking over you. 

“Do you not get... lonely?” You asked, looking up at him as you came to a complete stop.

The Lord of the Rain House stilled and looked down at you, hands adjusting the tomes and parchment in his hands. A silence stretched between the both of you as you looked at each other. 

Why was he not saying anything?

More importantly, who was watching you?

It set you on edge.

“I only ask as my Lord Husband is away for so long, and I find myself anxious for his return.”  You made a show of the sadness you supposedly felt, lifting a hand to come touch the man, before rethinking it and tucking back behind you to move forward. 

“It does get lonely, at times.” Lord Wylde spoke quietly, “Though I have promising news of a potential betrothal to Lady Ellyn Baratheon.” 

Here comes wife number five.

Shit.

“Oh, that is wonderful news then, My Lord. I must congratulate you. I would hate to know the you suffer the same affliction as I do.” You continued. 

The prickling of your skin started again and you turned your head. You and Lord Wylde had walked beside the Godswood in the open courtyard coridoors, where not too far from you stood a man with his cane.

You were definitely being watched.

“This is where I must leave you,” You told him, “Until we meet again.” You smiled, turning and leaving Lord Wylde without hearing his farewell. 

You crossed the courtyard not too far away, to where Lord Larys Strong, Master of Whispers, stood watching you with a knowing smile, leaning on his cane.

“Princess Y/n.” He greeted you, as you came to stand in front of him.

“Lord Larys. Do you ever grow tired of watching me from afar?”

The man hummed, “A fine day in King’s Landing.”

“No finer than the last. I would ask you to join me on my walk, but… I fear it may not be of interest to you.” You pointedly look down at his club foot.

Larys smiled, “It would be a pleasure to join you, Princess. My club foot would not restrict me from such an honour.”

You hummed.

Turning on your foot, you waited until he came to your side and began to slowly move out of the courtyard. You moved around the Keep, leading out to the garden.

Caution arose inside of you as you walked beside Lord Larys. You did not trust the man, nor did you like him. He was one of the many vipers in this nest, and had whispered in Alicent’s ears for years. For the most part, he had made himself scarce, barely acknowledging you, nor your presence for many years growing up, but now his sudden interest in you was a warning for you to keep a level head.

You would do well to not let your guard down around the man and not show him any weaknesses.

“Lord Larys, forgive me for my brazenness, but I must ask you.” You stopped walking and looked at him.

He did not look much like Ser Harwin. He was smaller, and weaker and ill-made. He stood crooked and thin, skin pale, and resembled a weasel more than a man. But his dark eyes and hair were the resemblance of his House.

“I am sure what you are about to ask is neither brazen, nor offensive, My Lady.”

You gave him a small smile.

“How does it feel...” You began looking down at the floor in mock innocence, as you begin to walk again through the garden, dirt path beneath your feet, and blooming flowers of all colours and shapes surrounding you.

You left him in limbo of the question a little while longer, before continuing, “...To the be the last of Strong blood? I was shocked when I had heard the news of what my Lord Husband had done in Harrenhal to your House, and I feel as though I must apologise to you for his actions.” 

“My Lady, you know more than I, that I am not alone.” He looked at you pointedly.

Your brothers. 

You clenched your jaw.

“Ah, yes. Alys Rivers.” You looked him up and down, “I suppose with her still surviving, you are not the last Strong after all.”

Larys lets out a small, knowing laugh, quiet for no-one else in the garden to hear, but loud enough for you.

You steered the both of you towards where you always sat. Where you and Helaena had watched sunsets and sunrises, looked at bugs and talked of your futures together.

Not at all what it was for now. 

You sat at a small steel table, and held out a hand for him to take the one opposite you. He bowed his head and sat, leaning his long cane against the table. It was well crafted, with a gold top, a small bee in its centre. It reminded you of the cane that had been left in your chambers. 

A servant boy came to join you once he saw the two of you seated.

“Please bring me and Lord Larys some tea and fruit. " You smiled at the boy, "Thank you.”

The young boy, no older than ten-and-five, bowed his head, and scuttled out of the garden towards the Keep. You held your hands together on the table.

“I will withdraw any pleasantries from this conversation henceforth. You know better than I,” You mocked his previous words, “That you are no ally to me, and I simply cannot stand the sight of you.” You smiled gracefully.

To any passing in the garden, it would look as though you were having a pleasant interaction.

“For years I had thought of how Ser Harwin and your late father had died so quickly on their return back to Harrenhal. I had slept on it as a child, you see. Ser Harwin was good to us,” You smiled and nodded your head to behind him, "He trained me in the yards just on the other side of this Keep. He was like a father to me.” 

Larys watched as you spoke to him, relaxed in your chair. All falseness had left his face, and what was left in its wake was a viper. He certainly played the defenceless and meek man well. 

“At first, I had my suspicions that Alicent had to be behind it, but it did not make sense for the man who could be put on trial for treason, to be put to death first. And so quietly too. "

You leant forward on the table as you looked at him, "Alicent loves a public spectacle, we saw that the day she tried to take my brothers eye. So I ruled her out. And then I thought some more.”

The servant boy came back with a large silver tray, pot of tea and teacups sitting atop, with a small plate of cut up fruit. You paused from your thoughts as the young boy placed the cups down in front of you, pouring them high and placing the fruit in its centre.

“Thank you. That will be all.” You thanked the boy, dismissing him, watching as he left. 

Reaching across the table you picked up a small sugar container, mother of pearl spoon inside. You scooped a small spoonful of sugar out of the bowl and held it towards Larys.

“Sugar?” You asked.

The man nodded, and you let the small soft grains fall into his cup of tea, before placing the sugar back in front of you. Picking up your unsweetened tea, you brought it to your lips, the steam brushing against your mouth warmly.

You took a small and polite sip. It was steeped perfectly.

A soft bitter aftertaste, just as you preferred in times of stress like this. Larys picked up his spoon, stirring the sugar into his tea gently, before bringing it up to his lips to drink.

“It was not hard to figure out. Who would have something to gain from the death of the Lord Lyonel Strong, and his first born son, Ser Harwin?”

You placed your teacup back on the table, letting the china clink softly against one another. Larys mirrored your movements. He did not seem nervous at all by your accusation, nor comments.

“Of course, it always comes down to the second son. You had a title to gain, lands and wealth, and not only that, but I suspect something to hold over the Queen’s conscience. Am I wrong?” You asked, and Larys stayed silent, "I’m sure you made it seem as though you did it for her, yes?”

“Quite the accusation, Princess. What you accuse me of would be treason, and kinslaying.” Larys mused, picking up his cup to sip at again.

“Of course. Forgive me, ’tis merely just speculation and a child’s mind left to run through endless possibilities.” You shrugged, and reached forward to pull a grape from its bunch, popping the round fruit into your mouth, feeling your teeth slice through the juicy flesh.

“It was an unfortunate accident. They say that Harrenhal is cursed.” The Strong man began, “Not at all like what had happened to the poor Prince Daeron.”

You let your head lazily look down as you sighed, “An unfortunate accident,” You parroted, “A casualty of war. Thank the Seven that we now have a treaty, to prevent further losses such as that.”

You sipped your tea in tandem, a tense silence filling your area of the garden.

“And how are you faring? Have you settled back into the Keep?” He asked.

“With my Lord Husband so frequently gone, I find myself more settled than ever.” You smiled, “It is relaxing to know that I do not have two monsters, watching me at all hours. Though I do worry for his absence. What whispers will the courts concoct once they hear of his whoring?”

“Trouble in paradise in such a fresh marriage is concerning to hear. But I would not worry on any opinions of the Lords and Ladies at court. They would not care for a bastard born from another.”

“And what of this bastard, Lord Larys, Master of Whispers? I have heard whispers of my own. They say that she is a witch, and has put a spell on my husband. That is why she still lives. Is it true?” 

“I seemingly recall you reminding me that I am neither your ally, nor you mine.”

“Mm. That’s true. You can’t blame me for trying. It is terribly dull, locked in this Keep. I am just desperate enough to sit and have tea with you, let alone look at you.” You smiled, and he smiled back. 

“Is this why you peruse the Keep in search of somebody? Is your Lord Husband not satisfying your needs, warming your bed chambers?”

“Unfortunately for me, my bed chambers are warmed enough. Though they lack a certain, want. I am sure you would know all about this, having known about Aegon and his wondering cock. You know, it truly is a mystery at how it has not fallen off yet.”

“A mystery indeed, Princess.” He paused, drinking from his tea, watching you, thinking, and when he comes to a conclusion, he places the cup back down, reaching to refill it.

“But Alys Rivers is less of a mystery.” He began, “I have heard tales of her beauty. An older woman with hair as black as the night sky, and eyes of green that pierce any mans soul. Rumours are about that she is a witch, and she claims to be one. Though who knows if it is real or not. I have been told she wears a chain of Valyrian steel around her neck, with three emeralds dripping from it. A gift from a Targaryen Prince.” The man shrugged, “Depends on what you believe.”

He brings the cup to sip again, eyes watching you over the rim.

“Are you a man of Faith, Lord Strong?”

“Of course, My Lady.”

“And what do you believe?”

“I believe what I am told.”

“And what a good little dog you make for it.” You smiled viciously, pulling another grape from the table to pop into your waiting mouth. “For a Master of Whispers, you sure do miss a lot of things.”

“Like what, Princess?”

You laughed.

“If you truly are a Master of Whispers, I am sure you will find out in due time. Need I remind you that I am neither your friend, nor ally?”

“You need not. Though may I give a word advice?”

You sighed, cocking your head, “No. But I have a feeling that you are going to anyway.”

“If you are to look for a man to warm your chambers in the absence of your husband, it is best that you don’t do so, so brazenly.” He smiled brightly, “Though he has lost an eye, he is not blind and has his ears.”

“Of no doubt you will be whispering your poison into.”

Larys smiled a sickly smile, “Of no doubt. Who knows what the courts may begin to whisper. Of course, only if my hand is forced.”

“May I offer you a word of advice, Lord Larys?”

The mans hand touched the top of his cane, its engraved bee sitting pretty in the expanse of the tip. A smirk wound its way on his lips in confirmation, head tilting to tell you to speak.

“Don't fuck with me." You smiled, and enjoyed the way the man blinked in shock at your harsh words, “I have found that throughout my life, men with ambition are a great threat to the realm and to the people living within it. I doubt that any man,” You looked him up and down in disgust, “Or woman, would lay with you. And without the lust of flesh, you are free to lust after power. A dangerous man indeed.” You smiled falsely, leaning back in your chair, listening to the waves behind you before you continued.

“Dragon or no dragon, I have not forgotten your place in this war, nor what you had done to Ser Harwin. I will rip your throat out with my teeth if I must. But of course,” You stood from the table looking down at the man who’s brow had hardened, “Only if my hand is forced.”

You walked around the table to stand beside Lord Larys.

“Thank you for an… inspiring conversation, Lord Larys.” You smiled down at him, “I had almost forgotten of your presence in the Keep.”

You grinned at the man, letting your hand come to touch his shoulder in a friendly manner.

Lord Larys Strong, Master of Whispers, stared at his empty tea cup as you walked away, leaving him to his thoughts and your unprovoked threat.

Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to the tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! Enjoy <3

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Bold is who I cannot tag!

[prismartist]

the thing is, guillermo's main motivation is not just to become a vampire. it hasn't been for a while. if that were the case, he would've left and served another vampire a long time ago––which he actually did in season 2 with celeste. the only reason that didn't go through is because it turned out she wasn't a vampire.

(by the way, it's not a plothole that nandor let guillermo go off to be turned by celeste even though being turned by someone than your master is bad. guillermo renounced nandor as a master as per celeste's conditions, so at that point she was his master, not nandor)

becoming a vampire is definitely the thing that drives a good amount of his decisions, yes, but it's not the only one that does. the desire to be a vampire is accompanied––and i'd even say overrode––by a desire to be family.

season 2 guillermo was very fickle. his vampire slayer lineage conflicted with his desire to be a vampire, and at the same time you cannot convince me that he didn't contemplate murdering the others several times. s2 guillermo was willing to drop the gang if it meant an easier way to become a vampire.

but i don't think the same could be said of season 5 guillermo. at this point he had made peace between his nature and his want, having used his vampire slaying skills to protect his masters. he had grown even closer to the vampires, and while i wouldn't say he never cared for them, that care has grown enough so that he hasn't attempted to properly leave since the end of season 2.

and more importantly, the other vampires had become closer to him. as he grew to see them as family, they had grown see him as such too. guillermo knows his worth, and his love for them would have only persisted if they also––slowly but surely––showed their love for him. otherwise, he hits the bricks, or tries to; the one time he tries to leave since s2 is at the start of s4, when they left him in a crate for weeks.

what nadja said to him in the motel comes to mind: "at first, i was just using [the little antipaxons] to get rid of my hex. but then it turned out... i really like hanging out with those guys."

guillermo started serving the vampires to become a vampire. but over time, instead of merely being his masters, they became his family. sticking with them became less and less about becoming a vampire, and more and more about being with loved ones.

he voices his regret to ask derek to bite him. "i really don't want to die," he says about nandor hunting him down, "but i'm more afraid of losing the vampires."

i think it's possible he continued to pursue vampirism if only to obtain this newer desire. but even so, vampirism ultimately didn't do anything for guillermo in the grander scheme of things.

guillermo wants to be fully accepted. he wants to be part of the team, an equal. not pushed away or dismissed. he's worried less about this recently, but judging by his looks during the guide's rant about being excluded, he still had his doubts. perhaps being a vampire would achieve that. but it didn't!

when the vampires came to say goodbye at the motel, they didn't do so because they respected him as a vampire. in fact, when they first found out, they just responded with astonishment (laszlo) anger (nadja) or indifference (colin, the guide). and even if he were turned by nandor, i still doubt they would've outwardly respected him.

no, the vampires each went one by one to say goodbye to guillermo because he was already part of the family. all this time, over the years, they saw guillermo as someone worth valuing, because he valued them. they just didn't show it, as vampires do. it had nothing to do with being a vampire. and even after the full transformation, they went back to putting on an indifferent and uncaring facade. being a vampire has no effect over the vampires' feelings towards guillermo.

in the end, vampirism didn't do guillermo any good. he had all he could ever need and want... as a human. except being a vampire. of course. but as a vampire the vampires didn't treat him differently, and if anything he's further excluded because he's too hesitant to kill. at least as a human, it's a given that he's an outsider. it's worse when you're supposed to be the same and you still end up too different

so in the end, it wasn't worth it. and guillermo chooses humanity once more.

do i wish we could've seen more of vamp guillermo, and definitely more of him building up to make that decision to turn back? yes. honestly most of my issue with the finale is the pacing; the latter half seemed like a separate episode on its own, and i kinda felt it needed to be a whole episode in order to stick the landing better. (can we bring back longer seasons please. even just a tiny bit longer, like 12 episodes :() but overall i am greatly fascinated with guillermo's journey, i am so in love with it, and i am looking forward to how he's going to grapple with the changes he went through this season :DD

[kitkatt0430]

📓🤐

📓The Plot of a WiP I haven't (and probably won't) write.

So the plot that became The City on the HIll was original intended to be part of a series mainly about the Master that in theory I still like the idea of, but I'm probably never going to actually write. Though certain parts I've already recycled and will continue to slowly do so for continuing the verse for The City on the Hill.

The idea for the Master was that instead of hiding at the end of the universe where the Doctor, Martha, and Jack find him as Yana... he instead went a different route and hid on a world with a massive temporal paradox going on. Unintentionally becoming an essential cog in the paradox, as it were, but that just made it that much better a hiding spot because the Time Lords couldn't risk pulling him out if they found him there.

So the Master turns himself into a human child and stumbles out into history on a little planet called Centra. He's taken in to an orphanage, struggles to get along with the other children, and fixates on a kid names Squall in a similar manner to his fixation on the Doctor. This kid the Master has become? Seifer Almasy, the future Sorceress Knight to one of the most dangerous Sorceresses in the history of Centra - who tried to create Time Compression which is similar to what Rassilon was trying to achieve when the Doctor stole the Moment to prevent Time's destruction/the ascendance of the Time Lords.

Ultimecia - this evil sorceress - fails, Seifer is aquitted of his crimes due to the mental manipulations he suffered as her knight/representative in the present, and he moves on with his life with his two best friends - Fujin and Raijin. After Raijin leaves their little mercenary group to become a chef - Seifer and Fu happy that he's pursuing his dreams even if it takes him away from them - and Quistis Trepe, one of Seifer's fellow orphanage kids, joins them having quit SeeD. She fought against Seifer during the Sorceress war and isn't big on explaining why she quit, but Seifer never really thought being SeeD suited her so he doesn't push. And when Quistis and Fujin fall in love, he has a few new guesses about what drove her away. But he's grown up since they were teens and mostly does not make an ass of himself towards Quistis and they finally wind up friends.

And then come the Cybermen. No one is quite sure where they came from or how, but they're discovered when a scientific expedition to the Moon goes wrong and the newly reactivated Cybermen transport down to the planet. Esthar hires Seifer, Fujin, and Quistis to take a preliminary look at whatever these Cyber things are before it can be decided if the military can handle it or they need to hire more elite SeeD to go in and destroy the menace. And it turns to tragedy because the Cybermen get their hands on Quistis and convert her. Seifer barely gets out with Fujin and they report back that the Cybermen need to be wiped out, but they're worried not even SeeD will be enough.

Meanwhile, over at Balamb Garden - home of the best of the best amongst the SeeD mercenaries, led by Squall Leonhart, knight and Husband to Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly - a blue box appears with a man clinging to the side. A man who drops dead at first, but then seems to come back to life all on his own...

Basically it's an FF8/Doctor Who crossover. I do still really like the plot for this one but I can never seem to muster the energy to actually write it. I think the tragedy with Quistis plays into it, since I do like her character very much but I didn't want her traveling with the Master and Fujin when Seifer regains his memories/Time Lord self and runs off in his TARDIS at the end. I intended for Fujin to eventually wind up with someone else as her second love. I considered Jenny, River, and a few others over time... but since I never wrote any of the fics, save for carving out the Ianto-is-a-time-lord plot... who Fujin's next love interest would be never quite got finalized.

🤐Unpublished dialog

So in the fic above, I do have some written for it. Not much, but I had some fun little details, like Seifer had given Fujin a broken watch when they first met. His only connection to his dead family and he gave it to her when Fujin became like a sister to him. And similar to the kid who could hear the remnants of the Doctor in the fob watch when the Doctor became human, Fujin could hear the Master in there sometimes. So she was aware of who Seifer was/used to be and hid it at the Master's insistence, for their safety.

But with the arrival of the Cybermen - the Master telling her what they are - she worries that whether it's safe or not she may need to open the watch. To her, the Master and Seifer are the same person, so opening the watch won't change who Seifer is. It will simply let him be his complete self. And she isn't exactly wrong about that either, as the Master devotes a lot of time after waking to helping Fujin find the Cyberman who was once Quistis Trepe and giving Fujin a chance to say goodbye before the last of what made Quistis... well, Quistis, is subsumed entirely by the Cyberman programming.

“Cybermen...” Seifer whispered, his eyes distant. It was if he was trying to recall something just beyond his mind's reach... something hidden within the fob watch. “What did you say?” Quistis asked. “They're called Cybermen,” Seifer said, his voice stronger. “I've heard of them before, but I can't remember where.” “I remember hearing about them too,” Fujin said and then lied with a single name. “Ultimecia.” The Sorceress from the future – the bitch who'd twisted Seifer up so badly that he'd gone mad under the pressure of her control – had never mentioned the Cybermen. But Seifer's memories of those months were cloudy at best. He'd believe her. Fujin felt guilt curl in her chest as he nodded.

[despodiamundare]

Inspecting the Greatest Love

-names shall be placeholders to preserve anonymity-

Without a doubt I was immature when I met -Oakgirl-, Oakgirl being the one who I call my Greatest Love. I was young, just leaving high school. At that time, I was a theater-kid, and I had found myself at theater rehearsals with feelings for another girl, whom we shall call -Fplunch- cause she's not gonna be in the story for too much longer.

Fplunch was quiet, but seemed to have the same interests I did. Video games and the like. I have a particular memory of making eye contact with her as she reclined, and this incited my imagination fairly well at the time. But then entered Oakgirl. Stunningly beautiful, more so than Fplunch by a good mile. (not that beauty is the measure of quality in a person but it does help people feel attracted to each other) Shortly after we met Oakgirl had no trouble telling me she was interested. Nothing so heinously carnal at first, she merely wanted me to text her. I know I didn't at first. I said I would, but I didn't. I don't remember if this was because I was wanting to pursue Fplunch over Oakgirl, or if it was more a matter of self-confidence. You'd think, with a direct approach from such a young women as Oakgirl was, I would be ready and willing to connect with her. But I can't assume things to have been so simple. By that point in my life, I had already begun porn use and had had two girlfriends already, both of which I had not really managed to keep an erection for. Imagine that, 19 and completely lacking sexual confidence! I'm sure this feeling is much more common for our generations than the previous ones who lacked the tech to disassociate from reality so completely. Anyway...

Oakgirl was persistent. She hunted me down once or twice after high school, saying I should text her. So I did, and we went on a date. The first time I believe was at a playground by the school. I remember sitting by the swings, and she told me of the troubles in her life, and I told her mine. I don't remember how I felt afterwards, but I know we met again and again until one night in the parking lot of a bowling-alley arcade I leaned over to the passenger seat and kissed her, and then the two of us made out for several hours.

And I remember seeing her standing in front of the sunflowers in front of her house, not so long after, and me telling her I think I love you. I knew it was fast. I had said it quickly to the previous two I had spent time with. But she was wonderful and fun. It felt right. And she said it back. And then we dated each other for just under four years.

During that time we built a friendship strong enough to etch memories and feelings that will likely last the rest of our lives. Eight years have passed since I broke up with her -yes it was I who was the devil- and now she has told me she never forgot me. I never forgot her, although my feelings I believe ebbed away easier for me; which is a key component in the contemplation I've been doing, will get to that.

What are the qualities that make up a strong relationship? Is it something mostly universally, or do these qualities change based off of the people? Can our feelings be fully trusted?

You see, Oakgirl and I dated and traveled through life together. Our humor intertwined and in many ways we were inseparable. She made me laugh, I made her laugh. We made each other smile. We were each other's first true sexual experience (I had attempted before but first found success with her). We had fun and had excellent chemistry, but I would find myself bored sometimes. We had different interests, and I felt like I could not write and bounce ideas off of her. Writing was important to me before meeting her, but it became much more important during that time as I discovered dungeon mastering and writing for dnd players to interact with and explore the worlds I had found in my head. So there was this disconnect. Yet we were so close that, as we continued, marriage did not seem so far-fetched. Yet married at 22? It felt so fast, and with this disconnect between our passions I felt like I would not feel fully complete if I married her. How could I know myself? So, as my parents helped encourage me to attend an art school, I found myself diverting to one out-of-state. I found myself telling her I was leaving, and that I didn't think we should do long distance. I remember her beginning to cry. I remember beginning to cry myself. I remember wonder "Why the fuck are you doing this?" And I still did it. I remember thinking if her and I got along so well, maybe there was someone else who I would get along with in a similar or better way that would write with me.

And thus time passed. And I had several terribly disappointing relationships. Nothing lasting longer than a couple weeks. I was a mess than continued to become less stable and more self-absorbed. I don't remember having heart break over Oakgirl. I remember she called me a couple of months after I had left, and we talked. I don't remember how I felt talking to her, hearing her voice again, but I know i didn't reach out to her after that or attempt to get the bridge open. I left her. Fairly wholly.

And yet still, as time went on, I realized I had not left her. I never deleted the pictures of her and I. They were too beautiful. Goofy friends reveling in a pure love. I found myself speaking like her. My humor was still the blend she and I had forged. It was funny. We were freaking funny. So the comedy I brought to people were her and I. And after 2-3 years, my mom told me out of nowhere that Oakgirl was engaged. I didn't think to stop it. I didn't think to reach out to her and tell her I missed her and thought about her near every day. I decided she deserved better than me and figured she had found someone better. She's a smart lady.

But in actuality she hadn't. She had found someone who became quiet foul. And it was at the beginning of 2023, that they had a huge falling out. A grand argument. And here's what happened folks. I felt it. I was in my room and it felt like my soulmate had died. I hadn't talked to her in years, and I felt her pain. I wasn't sure what it was the night I felt the feeling, I didn't know it was her right away, but the next morning I made the connection and became worried something had happened to her, so I reached out. She had changed phones, she didn't have my number. So I assumed she really didn't think about me anymore. I cried pretty hard when she texted back "who is this?"

But I summoned my courage and told her who it was. And she responded saying thank you, and that she wanted me to know that she was always in my corner. From this I could feel that she was dismissing me in way. Selfishly I couldn't see the love in her message, just the feeling that I shouldn't talk with her anymore. So I engaged to fully remove her from my thoughts. By August I was doing a meditation to remember my life, and realized I had worked through my memories of late high school and early college without thinking about her! Amazing and terrible. At the time I felt somewhat relieved. Good that I should be moving on, yes?

But then the rest of 2023 happened. I fell into some revelations that had me praying more. I prayed for a sign or to talk with/interact with my partner in crime. I wasn't thinking it was going to be Oakgirl, but I hoped i could be shown someone similar. And then, about a week later, Oakgirl texted me at midnight. I didn't see her text until 6am. Unlike when she called me a few months after the break up, I was beside myself. I ran out of the house in an ecstatic panic. Oakgirl! She was there! What she had written was beautiful. She remembered more than I had. The emotions in her had been etched into her, as she had been with me. She had said she didn't want anything serious with me, but selfishly I didn't really comprehend that part as I read. It was hard to read what she wrote and think that she did not want a second chance. Especially after we began to text and we made plans to see each other for New Years.

We talked over the phone. She reiterated she did not want to start anything. She said the ball was in my court, I thought she meant about starting something but what I learned later is she had been referring to us sleeping together. Best not to assume folks.

We met. It was beautiful. It was awkward. I felt that same apprehension in staying committed to her. I felt the same joy of being in her presence and hearing her voice and wit. I felt the same disconnect in interests, and the joy in making her breakfast and making her laugh. So much had stayed. But indeed, things had changed. And after two nights she said she would not stay the third. She said it was because her dad wanted her back home, I believe her, but I also believe she could not be with me as I was. It may well be she can simply be with me no longer.

You may see it now folks. You may not, as you have not read what she has written. But, to put it plainly, I broke her heart and then vanished. And then, after she reached out to me to support me, I come calling asking for her to trust me again. This, when I have done so little to change who I am in the interim? Mayhaps I am being a little harsh on myself, but certainly some of this is true.

Dear folks, it has now been near a month since I saw her again for the first time in eight years. My dear, sweet memory is pocketed full of holes after years of being a stoner, and I can no longer remember the direct emotions of the joy and stress of being with her again. I can only remember remembering these feelings. She has cut me off. She said such beautiful things, even more than before, over text after we had parted ways again. In my desperation I asked why it was a no, she would not say and I am glad she did answer my question. This was not my place to pester her like this, you see. I told her my door is open, and she told me her door is just slightly ajar.

And here we are now. I have seen many things saying I must let go, the most prominent of these being her direct words. She has asked me to go live my life to the fullest, and to know that she will always be supporting me.

And how foolish do I feel? I still feel apprehension. I still am not sure I have that deep drive to bring her into my life, to charge after her and shower her with my energy. A man should have that drive if he is to pursue a woman, yes?

And yet... yet she lives in my bones and soul. She is there. She will always be there. I can let her fade. I can go on. But a part of me does not want to. A part of me wants to make it work. A part of me wants to fight for her. But a part of me also says I must focus on understanding and growing myself. And another part says I need not wait to be someone different I need merely accept I am the version of myself I want to be and go after what I want. And part of me does not want to go after her. And part of me does. And I feel so damned confused. And scared. Because most certainly after seeing her again I have become aware of how wonderful a thing we had was. Certainly it need not be unique, as in she and I can find new loves that give us something great again, but as I understand it now it is wholly unique still for the both of us. Still at the least for me.

I worry my apathy, my desire to not be with her, is part of the shadow I have not integrated. It is either something real that I don't want to accept because I want to be beholden to this great thing we had and still have some ghost of. Or it is that I really truly do love her and can not accept it out of fear. At times one seems true, at other times the other seems true. See how I cannot rely on my emotions? It appears I must just make a choice.

And part of me is scared to make the choice to ask for her hand again, because what if I become dissatisfied? The answer is that is exactly what happens when you choose someone. You choose someone to love and learn so well that you begin to hate them. That you become dissatisfied and wonder if they are really worth it. Then you hunker down and get real close to them and you ask them if they'll reforge with you, and if they do then that I believe is True Love. But I am not sure. Is there love that comes easy? Natural love that flows just like the wind? If anything, that was us for a good while. Now I just don't know.

I wonder sometimes if we all make decisions together. If we are all truly one. If we are all connected together in some deeply significant way, are our actions the same? Could it be that life on earth has seemed to get shitty around the time I left her because it was me leaving what was good in my life, and thus I was doing what we all did, for our actions are all tied together. Can my acceptance of the good be part of a chance for us all to turn this boat around and make a future of peace instead of war? Is it a little dramatic and silly that I take my thoughts this direction? Is it a little self-centered to think that giving that sweet girl my whole life may be part of saving the world?

probably. but we do live in a real crazy story.

I probably had a more defined thing I wanted to talk about at the beginning of this post but I think this is a good spot right now. Should the iron become hot i shall strike this blog again. Should any eyes stray this way and make it to this point I thank you for taking time out of your day to read my woes and troubles. Please feel free to comment and ask questions or tell me why Bionicle is better than Star Wars because it absolutely is and you can't change my mind on that.

Most certainly, have a wonderful day and a wonderful time. Don't forget to live life fully and do your best to make decisions you won't regret.

[matsbarzal]

can you please do fluff #15 with Jamie Oleksiak???

15. "i can't wait to see you." - jamie oleksiak

word count: 1.6k pairing: jamie oleksiak x reader

Jamie had left for Seattle the day he got the call from his agent.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t upset about how quickly things were changing. One second, he was a fan favourite of the Dallas Stars, next he was being left unprotected and easily getting swept up by the Seattle Kraken in the midst of the expansion draft.

He had promised you things wouldn’t change too much, that the two of you would be able to work everything out and figure out what you were going to do, whether you were going to follow him to Seattle or try to make it work from miles away. He had promised you that you guys would figure it out before engulfing you up in his arms, his body wrapping eagerly around you as you pressed yourself as close to his as you could.

Jamie bid you goodbye with an eager press to your lips, his body ducking down while your lips moulded against each other, the unspoken words flowing through before he pulled away, a quick press of his lips to your forehead and one last hug before he had to make his way through the airport.

That was three days ago, and you were already starting to lose it a little on the inside. Jamie was busy, you knew that it was inevitable, but the two of you had barely had the opportunity to talk, the Kraken hoarding him and his teammates during the short week they had with them before they let the players loose for the summer.

Every time your phone vibrated, or your watch dinged, or you felt even the slightest movement of your phone, you were pulling it up to your face and trying to figure out if it was Jamie messaging you or calling you, but it never was. Especially in the middle of the day.

Except for this time.

The FaceTime request shined bright on the screen in front of you, Jamie’s contact name evident at the top of the screen as the FaceTime sound made its way throughout the small deck you found yourself on. You were still in Jamie’s Dallas house, agreeing that he’d meet you there the moment Seattle let him go free for the summer.

His face appeared on the screen, a wide toothy grin crossing his face when he made eye contact through the screen.

“Look at that beautiful damn face, baby. I’ve missed you.”

Sticking your tongue out at him, you could feel your cheeks start to warm as his compliment. “Don’t go getting all sappy now, Big Rig, I still have almost a week until I get to see your handsome face in person.”

“What if it was… less than a week?”

Quirking an eyebrow at him, urging him to continue as you didn’t let any words pass your lips.

“I’ve been thinking. We have a lot of free time in Seattle, I’ve just been spending it with the boys, but Ebs is bringing his wife up on Thursday, and Tanev said he’s flying his girlfriend up tomorrow. You wanna come? See the city I’m going to beg you to move to?”

The immense joy that burst inside of you at his words was incomparable. That was the last thing you were expecting Jamie to say, you didn’t even let a thought cross your mind before you were nodding your head eagerly, a large grin taking over your face as you looked at your boyfriend through the screen.

“Oh my god, yes. Obviously yes, one hundred times yes.”

A wide grin took over Jamie’s face as he watched your excitement play out. He had barely given it a though when his teammates said they were bringing their wives and girlfriends to go house-hunting with them, citing the fact that it would be a better idea to get started now than at the end of the summer and right before training camp.

Jamie quickly jumped on the idea, knowing full well that there was no guarantee you were moving from Dallas to Seattle for him, but after all of the houses he had the opportunity to see in his few days here, he knew it would be easy enough to convince you how worth it the move would be. He just didn’t know how right he was.

“Glad you said yes, your plane ticket should already be sitting in your email. See you tomorrow at 10am, babe.”

Mock groaning at the early flight time, all you did was pout as Jamie continued to grin back at you.

“I can’t wait to see you, baby.”

“I can’t wait to see you either, lover.”

Your arms barely wrapped all the way around his body, your frame tucked happily against his own large one as the both of you ignored the hordes of people walking past. Solely focused on each other, Jamie whispered sweet nothings in your ear, telling you how much he’d missed you, and how happy he was to see you, and how excited he was for you to see Seattle.

The cool air of his rental car greeted you kindly, the warm Seattle air unexpected. You couldn’t deny that Jamie was right, Seattle was beautiful, and you did love it practically the moment you saw it.

His hand was pressed gently against the exposed thigh above your knee, eagerly pressing a kiss to your lips at every stoplight, squeezing your thigh with every laugh that passed his lips. You had missed him so much, and this was why. He was attentive, and kind, and just a constant figure, he constantly made his presence known and apparent, constantly made sure you knew how loved you were and how obsessed with you he was.

“I feel like we’re going the complete opposite way of the hotel?”

“How would you know where the hotel is, nerd? You’ve never even been here before.”

Pursuing your lips at him, you turned your head slightly to look out the back window, the downtown core of Seattle highlighted in the view you were currently looking at. Forcing your body back around to glance at him, you quirked an eyebrow in response.

Rolling his eyes playfully, all Jamie did was squeeze your thigh again and grin. “I’m showing you something that I think you’ll love. Brought you out here for a reason, didn’ I?”

Shrugging your shoulders with a smile, you grabbed his much larger hand and entwined your fingers with his. His response: a light and gentle squeeze before pressing the back of your hand to his lips and then moving your entwined fingers back to the top of your thigh.

The house began to appear, the downtown core slowly dissipating as Jamie made his way more and more towards the suburbs of Seattle. The houses were all beautiful, the minimalistic and cottage core-like aesthetic flowing through the area the deeper and deeper Jamie found himself driving.

It took a few minutes for Jamie to find the parking lot he was looking for, a playground parking lot the most vacant lot he could find in the area. Curious, you followed his lead, unbuckling your seatbelt and following him out of the car. His arm easily wrapped around your shoulder as he directed you on where to walk, the conversation flowing lightly between the two of you.

The area was quiet, there were some families on the playground, couples walking their dogs, but it was quiet, and homey. Similar to the area you and Jamie lived in, in Dallas.

Pointing with his hand that wasn’t attached to the arm wrapped around your shoulder, you averted your eyes to gaze at the object. Your eyes met the bright right of a ‘sold’ sign, the beautiful mint-coloured home behind it staring back at you.

“Jordan Eberle and his wife bought this house before they even looked at it. Ebs and I went yesterday, it’s so gorgeous in there. You’d love it. Open-concept kitchen, the living room couches won’t be pressed against the wall, the master bedroom has two walk-in closets. You’d be so jealous.”

You couldn’t deny the jealousy that creeped up inside of you at the sounds of what he was describing. Four things ticked off your list for the future house Jamie and you would one day hopefully inhabit, almost immediately? Sounded too good to be true.

The two of you continued, before stopping in front of a second house, just steps away from the previous one you had eyed.

“This house is almost identical. Except for the colour, obviously. But the baby blue and white are cute, no?”

Nodding your head at his words, you couldn’t deny that the house was cute. Minimalistic, a nice white porch, a swing prevalent just steps away from the front door. Just the outside alone was everything you had always dreamed of and more.

“Almost the same setup inside, except one of the walls on the main floor may have to be torn down to accommodate an open concept kitchen,” quirking an eyebrow at his words, you turned to him with a questioning look in his eyes.

“I want you to move to Seattle with me, I’m prepared to put an offer in for this house in 25 minutes if you say you like the house and that you’ll move here. I’ll even let you decorate it to your heart’s desire, be our own little interior designer or whatever.”

You could barely contain the smile of glee at his words, you had been on edge about following Jamie to another city after getting situated in Dallas for the second time, change was hard, but when it felt like change kept occurring every two years… well… it made things even more difficult.

It was like Jamie could sense your worries as he started again, “Seattle’s in it for the long-run. The contracts five years. I think here is it for us, baby. I think you’d love it here, and I think you’d love this house.”

“Show me our future house then, Mr. Oleksiak.”

note: I hope you enjoyed!!! thank you for requesting one <3

[tryingmyves]

Girl All the Bad Guys Want

okay i won’t lie, i remembered this song exists and i could not get the idea of a badboy!iida out of my head

this is a bit self indulgent because i was definitely that girl in hs lmaoooo

anyhow hopefully y’all like it too

PAIRING: Iida x Y/N

cw: badboy!iida

✨ tagging the iida army: @coleluuviida + @saturnity + @peachiileaf ✨

You have a reputation at UA, mostly with the male students. It isn’t something you put effort into maintaining or even something you cultivated on purpose, but you’ve gained some notoriety amongst your peers. At first glance, you don’t seem too different from your female classmates. You certainly don’t feel superior or disparate from them, but you’ve also never quite felt like you belonged with them. You don’t excel at being soft and demure, and you refuse to shrink yourself down in order to make others more comfortable in your presence. You spit in the face of all the things typically expected of a lady. And frankly, you’re more than a bit awkward when you hangout with the girls from your class. They always invite you to their sleepovers and shopping trips, and try to engage you in their conversations, but you’re always worried about saying the wrong thing or accidentally offending them. You’re never really able to add anything of value when they talk about the boys in your class - a recurring subject. Mina knows everything about everyone in class; she loves to gossip. It’s like her horns serve as antennae and pick up on all the juiciest secrets. She is always interrogating the other girls about their crushes but you just never really felt that way about anyone. Honestly, you find the conversations about who likes who to be a bit boring. You typically end up hanging out with Bakugo, Kirishima, and the rest of that squad. Boys are just easier to be around. They don’t get offended at your crass comments and your sometimes gruff disposition looks outright friendly next to Bakugo. 

Your undeniably attractive appearance, unquestionable skill with your quirk, and nonchalant attitude have landed you in the sights of several of your fellow UA students. You are the embodiment of do no harm, but take no shit and something about you is intoxicating. Mina frequently jokes with you about how the entirety of the Bakusquad is duking it out to see who gets to ask you out first. You roll your eyes at her, convinced she’s imagining things. But in reality you’re just clueless. As cliché as it is, you really are the girl all the bad guys want. Too bad you didn’t want them back. 

What you didn’t expect with your tough exterior, competitive nature, and tendency to slack off on class work is that class rep, Tenya Iida, would want you too. God, not even he expected it but he had fallen hard. You frustrate him. You’re just as smart as Yaomomo or Todoroki, but you skate by in class. You don’t outwardly disrespect authority, but you won’t blindly accept orders just because someone says so. He thinks the rap metal music you listen to while training is abrasive and doesn’t understand why all your favorite artists sound like they’re mad at their fathers. He finally gave up on lecturing you on the fact that the fishnets you wear with your uniform are not regulation and he was still wrestling with how he felt about learning you were one of the students caught at a dorm party with alcohol a few weeks ago.  More than anything he hates that you’ve so effortlessly got him pining for you and you haven’t even noticed. Iida loves the rules! Order, structure, regulation - these are the things that Iida covets, so why was he craving the taste of your lips on his?

He is tired of silently lusting after you, and decides he’s going to try actively pursuing you instead. Tenya thinks that you like “bad boys” so as foreign as the concept is to him, he concludes he’s going to have to take on that persona. He starts off simply, making a playlist of songs he’s heard you blaring from your dorm. He eases himself into your music, starting with Linkin Park and Korn, before adding Incubus, Machine Head, and even some ICP to the mix. He’s hesitant at first… the music just sounds so hostile and aggressive to him. But soon he finds himself relishing the fierce energy the songs give him. Tenya gets why you train to this sort of music, his workouts becoming more intense than ever. They end in his chest heaving and his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. His muscular calves throb vigorously after every run and he feels powerful. It gives him a new found confidence that he strategically channels into his interactions with you. For class today, Aizawa simply instructs you all to pair off and spar. You’re about to ask Sero to partner with you when he approaches. 

“Y/N. You’re with me.” Tenya doesn’t ask, he’s telling you you’re his partner. 

A small sound of surprise leaves your throat at his unexpected forcefulness, but you don’t question it. You just nod, giving a small shrug to Sero before following the class rep to a vacant spot of the training gym. 

You look over your challenger, rolling your head on your shoulders a few times to loosen up. “Don’t expect me to go easy on you. You asked for this,” you smirk, bringing your fists up in a defensive stance. 

Before you can even blink, Tenya has closed the 10 foot gap between you, sweeping a long leg beneath yours in a circular motion, knocking you off your feet. You land with a thud on your back and the air in your lungs is forced out with a nmph. 

“Just try to keep up, Y/N.”

Oh, it’s on. Previously you found Iida’s flustered demeanor around you endearing. But this new, assertive, almost cocky disposition is irresistible. His momentum propels him in a circle while he stays anchored in place on his massive left thigh. As he finishes turning through the motion he reaches forward hoping to pin your arms to the ground, but you’re just getting started. You plant the palms of your hands on either side of your face and kick up from the ground with a boost from your quirk. The added flow of air thrusts your legs up and over your head so you are now standing once more. You are sure that the soles of your shoes connect with Iida’s face during your arch through the air. 

“It’s not going to be that easy, specs,” you taunt. Now it’s your turn. 

You launch yourself at Tenya, closing the small gap between the pair of you in an instant. He extends a locked arm to block your approach but you simply dip your head, gliding underneath and down the length of his limb until you are just one step behind him. You pivot on your right foot as you swing your left arm across your body. Your open palm lands just between Tenya’s shoulder blades, your natural momentum accompanied by a gale force wind. The impact knocks him off his feet and sends him toppling forward. Tenya’s speed is unmatched and his large frame is covered in tone muscle, but with the addition of the very air around you, your strikes are ferocious. Your air quirk aids in your mobility, but you’ve used it to master hand to hand combat. You dominate in tight quarters, so you just need to keep Tenya close. He’s already returned to his feet, calculating his next move. The moment ‘s hesitation creating an opening for your right shin to collide with his side. Tenya growls through gritted teeth in response to the blow and the feral vibrations send shivers down your spine. Instead of recoiling from your attack Tenya’s hands clamp onto your shoulders like vices. His brows are furrowed in smug determination, and he practically sneers “Recipro Burst!”

You are propelled backwards rapidly, the gym surrounding you flashing by in a blur, the only thing you're able to see clearly is the dark glint in Tenya’s eyes and the zealous grin on his lips. You try to activate your quirk to counter his momentum, but it’s futile, he is pushing you backwards so quickly you can’t manipulate any of the air whizzing past you. Your back is suddenly pinned to the back wall of the gym, Tenya’s large hands holding your slender wrists to the concrete wall. He places a muscular thigh between your legs so his left knee is pressed to the wall as well - he has you completely immobilized. Both of your chests are heaving, your faces no more than three inches from one another. You don’t know what possesses you but you smash your lips to his, desperate to close the miniscule gap between you.

Tenya’s body stiffens in shock for a moment before he opens his mouth, snaking his tongue past your lips. You wrench your hands from his grip, placing one on the back of his neck and tangling the other in the mess of his navy hair. You didn’t expect the class rep to be such an amazing kisser, but when he catches your bottom lip between his teeth you can’t contain the soft moan that escapes you. Tenya swallows your noises and begins to pull away. Your lips hungrily follow after him, but you’re stopped when one of his calloused hands rests on your neck with just enough force to hold you in place. 

“Such public displays of desire are unbecoming of future heroes, Y/N. Come to my room this evening and we can finish this privately.” And with that, Tenya separates himself from you completely, already settling into a stance that signals he is ready to continue sparring.    

[strawwritesfic]

Tony Stark x Female!Childhood Friend!Reader: Brightest [Ch. 14]

Summary: [F Name] [L Name]: Tony’s Stark’s “invisible friend.” She’s invisible in all the wrong ways–at least until Tony spots her years after telling her to get out of his life. With Yinsen’s words in mind, Tony decides to pursue their lost relationship, only to find that [Name] might not be as willing as before. What Tony doesn’t know, however, is that the confusion of her life might end up the best of his.

Ratings/Warnings/Tags: M (love triangles; friends with benefits; sexual situations; non-consensual sex with a significant other (note: I will mark this specific chapter accordingly); cheating on significant other portrayed in a positive light; verbal abuse from parents and significant others; toxic relationships of several kinds; rumors of an inappropriate relationship between an older man and his son’s teenage friend; set in between Iron Man 2 and Avengers (2012); references to characters not yet established in the MCU as of time of writing)

Pairings: Tony Stark/Reader; Justin Hammer/Reader; Tony Stark/Reader/Justin Hammer; Pepper Potts/Happy Hogan; past!Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Tag List: @imaginesfire​; @ironmansuucks​; @sleep-i-ness​

Master List

Chapter 14: Life Lessons

You sat in the passenger seat of Tony’s car, watching the shops and the people pass by the windows while your heartbeat drummed in the palms of your sweaty hands. The usual parade of worries passed through your buzzing mind: What were you doing? Anyone might spot you riding along in a flashy vehicle like that one, tinted windows be damned. Anyone might see the car registered to Donald [L Name] loitering on a city block where you were nowhere to be found. Anyone might find you missing from home, and you had left a perfectly functional breadcrumb trail to follow right to your illicit deeds. It didn’t have to be your father that worked things out, or your mother, or even Justin. One nosy member of the entertainment media was all that was needed to blow down your erratically constructed house of cards.

“Would you relax?” Tony’s voice cracked into your anxious thoughts. “You’re sitting so stiff I’m getting constipated just looking at you. What?” he added in the face of your blank stare. “It was a joke.”

“I continue to wonder how you’ve attracted so many girls with that sense of humor,” you said.

“It’s the facial hair. The fabulously wealthy bit doesn’t hurt either. Or the costumed superhero gig.”

The chuckle you let out wasn’t intended to sound as halfhearted as it wound up coming out of your mouth. Tony’s familiar smirk faded as he glanced away from the road and right at you.

“Come on, princess. What’s got those lace panties of yours in a twist? I’m not a mind reader.”

You shook your head. “You’ll think it’s stupid.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Yes, you will.”

“Okay, maybe I will. But how can I say either way if you won’t tell me what you’re thinking about?”

The reason you didn’t want to tell him was obvious: Tony already knew you were stupid—and then you’d gone and admitted to faking what credentials he had ever believed you had. But you were already skating on thin ice as it was. You had asked him for this favor. If you refused him anything, including something as simple as an answer to a question, he could put a stop to more than just this ride. That was a lesson you had learned a long, long time ago.

“Just thinking about the possibility of my parents finding out where I am,” you admitted.

“You mean who you’re with.”

“That, too.”

“For someone who’s been breaking the rules so often lately, you have an awfully loud conscience.” He looked at you again as he made another turn. “No matter. Just something we’ll have to work on quieting.”

The tingle up your spine told you just how much you liked that suggestion. From anyone else, it didn’t mean much, but from Tony, the idea of working on quieting your conscience was rife with possibilities. To no longer feel the weight of guilt over being an imperfect daughter, to be able to feel free to act with impunity would be a—

“Wait a minute. Where are we going?” you asked.

It had only just then dawned on you, preoccupied fool that you were, that this was not the route to Tony’s Malibu mansion. After all the times you had accompanied your parents there as a child—not to mention all the sneaking over there you’d done in your teen years—you had the pathway memorized. His first turn should have been your first clue.

Tony parked the car, turned it off, and offered you an unhelpful, “here,” before he hopped outside.

You stayed put. He made it all the way up to one of the several connected buildings, then seemed to realize you hadn’t accompanied him. His eyes met yours in a wordless stare off.

In your flustered state, it took you an embarrassing amount of time to fumble your seat belt off, after which you finally popped out into the heat of the day. Moving from the cool, dark of the car made the sunlight feel as though it were blistering your eyeballs. You moved blindly forward until Tony stopped you by grasping your arms.

“I thought you said we were going to your place,” you said.

“This is a place of mine. In a manner of speaking.” He pushed open the nearest door, looking at you expectantly. You eyed him with suspicion until he said, “Look, you’ve already made the mistake of coming with me to a secondary location. Might as well see what I’ve got up my sleeves, right?”

That was true. You also weren’t so attached to your life that you found yourself aghast at the thought of being murdered. Your father would probably enjoy the media storm that followed, and you could just imagine your mother carefully planning the way she would cry in each and every interview. So without further pushing, you stepped through the door into a cool, professional interior. An empty secretarial desk sat a few feet away, but before you could register any more than that, Tony followed you in and took your shoulders to guide you deeper inside the building.

“I think this space will do. It’s not too fancy, which will set the right tone.” A woman’s voice drifted down the hallway; you felt Tony’s finger’s tense through the fabric of your top, though he did not stop moving in the same direction. “Do you think security will be a problem?”

“Not at all. Obtrusive, maybe, with a place this size,” a man replied.

“Would putting security in plainclothes make it better?”

“Honestly, I’d prefer to be obtrusive. There are too many wackos out there that won’t double check that Tony was invited before they try to take their revenge. That guy’s made a lot of enemies in a few short years.”

At that time, you and the subject of the conversation rounded a corner that led into a much larger room, all wide, blank walls with pivoting lights hung in lines from the ceiling. Arriving revealed the owners of the two voices: Pepper Potts and a stout man with short, dark hair. They were deeply involved in whatever they were discussing, or were, until the man stopped Pepper mid-step to kiss her.

Tony cleared his throat. The two sprang apart in surprise, but the space between them was not enough to avoid a follow-up quip: “Please, no hanky-panky in my gallery. I like to watch the security camera footage when I can’t sleep and I don’t want to see this next time I do.”

Pepper quickly recovered. “It’s not your gallery,” she said.

“My name’s on the lease.”

“Your company’s name is on the lease, and your company is now my company. Or have you forgotten that you refused to accept my resignation?”

Tony came around you, and shoved his hands into his pants pockets. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Miss Potts. Or of you and your head of security snogging so long as you agree to keep it off film. ”

“Good. What are you doing here anyway? Last I checked, this place hasn’t been used since we purchased it.”.

“Exactly. Thought now would be the perfect time to change that. Unless you two are planning to use it for something more than a private love nest?”

“Love nest?” Pepper echoed incredulously.

Mr. Head of Security looped an arm through hers, causing her to break off before she could build up a proper head of steam. “Maybe we shouldn’t have this discussion in front of strangers,” he said in a low voice.

Pepper blinked, looked around, and then spotted you standing next to and a little behind Tony. She did not flush or behave at all as though you’d seen anything she’d rather you not have. In fact, she simply smiled and moved forward to hold her hand out to you.

“[Name]. Good to see you again. How are you?”

“Fine, Miss Potts,” you said, just as mechanically as you shook her hand.

“Pepper, please. Oh! Let me introduce you. This is my boyfriend and head of security for Stark Industries, Happy Hogan.”

“It’s a pleasure,” said Happy, as he, too, shook your hand.

“Happy, this is [F Name] [L Name], Tony’s girlfriend.”

Your hand seized up inside of Happy’s. “I am not Tony’s girlfriend,” you managed to choke out.

“Is it really that bad a gig?” Tony demanded. “Try to sound more offended next time.”

Pepper moved smoothly on. “My mistake. Happy, this is [Name], Tony’s…”

She left a space for you to fill in. Unfortunately, your mind went just as blank in that moment. What could you say? You couldn’t tell this woman you were sleeping around with her ex in exchange for favors! Word would get out! Pepper seemed nice, but her feelings about Justin weren’t any more favorable than Tony’s, and once he took over your family’s business—well, she was a professional if you’d ever seen one. It would be downright dumb of her not to leak information of your chicanery, and Pepper Potts was not dumb. Up and down you pumped Happy’s arm, up and down and up and down, until Tony came once again to your rescue:

“Friend. A childhood friend.”

“…Tony’s friend,” Pepper finished.

“Good to meet you,” you said in a rush, but it was far too late for you to make a good impression. Happy extracted his hand from yours with a smile you suspected was forced.

“Yes, I remember him talking about you on our way to the airport the other night,” he said. He slipped both of his hands into his jacket pockets, as though worried you might snatch one up again. Or maybe just to dry them off. The stress of the situation had not quelled the sweating of your palms.

“So, are you two really planning to use this for something?” Tony interjected, before you could ask Happy what he meant.

Pepper and Happy exchanged a look.

“What do you want it for?” Happy asked.

“Top secret. Need to know basis only. Ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend doesn’t need to know.”

Happy looked ready to argue, but Pepper silenced him with a soft hand on one of his broad shoulders. “I supposed we could hold this at one of the more upscale venues. But Tony, if this is about Iron Man—”

“It’s not,” Tony said quickly. “You’re going to love this, Pep. Totally on the up and up. I swear.”

Her eyes moved to linger on you. You did your best not to shy away from her sharp gaze. Why did you feel like she was trying to work out whether or not you could rein Tony in if need be? No way in hell could that happen. After all, you had no more idea of what he wanted from this building than she did. It felt like an entire minute passed before Pepper finally let out a sharp breath, turning her attention back to him.

“Fine. But you owe me a favor,” she said.

“Anything.”

“Meeting in my office, ten o’ clock tomorrow.”

“Not that anything.”

She smiled as she motioned for Happy to follow her toward the rear entrance. “You already said anything. All I want is the finished blueprints for your tower and the generator. If you actually show up with what we need, you won’t have to listen to me nag you about it anymore. Happy, do you think we can make to the alternate location before my three o’ clock?”

Happy’s answer was lost behind the shut door. You stared after them with the nerves already rising in your veins. Oh, God. That had gone terribly. Pepper had no reason to believe you weren’t an idiot before. Even your father would be able to find a reason for you to not look stupid in front Stark Industries’ current CEO!

“Hey. You ready to get started?”

You snapped back to the present with a start to find Tony staring expectantly at you for the second time in under an hour. Warmth crept into your face. The way he was looking at you was not the way he looked at Pepper. There was a softness then that vanished the minute she did. Now he was back to business, back to work, back to dealing with you.

“Ready to start what?” you asked uncertainly.

He gestured around the room with a flourish. “This, princess, is about to be turned into your photo gallery.”

“My-my-”

“Gallery, yeah,” he said when your shock overrode your ability to form complete sentences. “I know you weren’t all gung ho about it when I brought it up before, but now…Figure it’s the perfect thing. You like to take pictures, right?”

“Yes.”

“You want to do something you’re good at for a living, right?”

“Yes.”

“There you go. You supply the art. I supply the venue. No one has to know anything we don’t want them to.”

All of sudden, you found it a beautiful idea. All of those pictures sitting on your computer, ready to be found and used against you at a moment’s notice, instead out for display. You wouldn’t have to hide them anymore. People could see them. Real people. People who might not dismiss them, like Justin had, when you’d first picked up a camera.

The shining bubble of hope burst as quickly as it had come to life.

“That still doesn’t help me convince my dad I’m not worthless,” you said.

“No, but,” Tony placed a hand on your shoulder, “it’ll prove to you you’re not worthless. I’ve seen some of your work. It’s good. Other people will think so, too.”

The bubble returned. You glanced around at all the bare walls once more. Maybe this wasn’t the out you’d wanted from Tony, but it was an out. That was enough for now. Still something bothered you: His offer was good. His offer was kind. And in exchange for what? Some lame rebound sex with a girl he used to know?

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked him. “There’s still time to back out. Maybe you can still get Pepper back.”

Tony rolled his eyes as he stuck his hand out toward you. “First of all, you approached me with this idea. Secondly, you keep bringing up Pepper, and I’m liable to think you’re jealous. We’re over. I don’t love Pepper anymore. Now, it’s up to you: Deal or no deal?”

The way you eyed his hand momentarily was entirely for show. You had no dignity left to concern yourself with, and he knew that just as well as you did. This was a chance you would have jumped at even if there had been a few shreds left to you.

“Deal,” you said, shaking his hand.

His escape from your grip was much swifter than Happy’s. “Great. Come on. Let me show you around. Tell you what I’ve got in mind.”

You trotted after him, though your steps were a little less eager than perhaps they should have been. The guilt of disobeying your parents had evaporated as it always did in the light of Tony’s presence. Now it was replaced by a different kind of guilt entirely. Tony said he didn’t love Pepper anymore. Maybe he believed it. But you had seen the way he looked at her, the way his fingers felt against your shoulders when he heard her talking to another man.

Many years ago, you had learned the hard way just what it meant to get in between Tony and something that he wanted. It meant heartbreak. As you listened to Tony talk about the building’s situation, you thought back to your breakfast with Rhodey. You had told him then you were fine being the rebound girl. Though that had been only hours ago, you wondered now if you had meant it as badly as you wanted to.

[zarara]

something else?

pairings: dense!diluc x traveler!reader, a little kaeya x reader moment plot: read it and find out (pls my brain is laggy but one day i will write a summary) genre: fluff, angst perhaps note: i am apparently capable of writing fairly straightforward stories

if there was anything in the world you would pay to have an endless supply of, it would have to be tea… though the idea of infinite mora sounded as interesting, you were sure your talents in combat would make sure you didn’t find yourself broke or clueless like zhongli.

it’s just that tea was perfect — coffee was a close contender but the bitter aftertaste always found you having to pile it up with more sugar than healthy. tea also had no aftermath on your already deranged sleep schedule. it tasted sweet but rich, it was efficient, and it was warm.

you usually enjoyed your daily cup of tea in the solitude of your chambers but today you were making an exception because kaeya, your superior and over-the-top flirt of a friend, insisted you take your evening snack with him at the tavern.

“there isn’t even a snack provision at the tavern! it’s a tavern for archon’s sake!” kaeya is great at ignoring your complaints as he pulls you into the seat next to him.

“i asked sara to bring some honey roast over for us,” kaeya winks at the young man handling the counter in lieu of an order and you hurriedly pipe up a “tea for me please!”

“now, would you please stop your whining, you baby?”

your mouth drops open, “i’m the baby? you were the one begging to take me to drinks instead of helping me finish that pack of hilichurls!”

“i did mention that i got rid of that abyss mage for you when you weren’t looking.”

“i don’t understand you, kaeya,” you take hold of the cup that the man behind the counter sets down, “but anyway, what is it you want from me?”

kaeya smirks over his glass of dandelion wine, “ah, quite straightforward, aren’t we?”

you kick his shin ungently, “let me ask again: what do you want?”

kaeya takes a sip and becomes uncharacteristically quiet. in fact, he doesn’t even comment when you keep staring at him.

“kaeya…?”

before you can continue to investigate what’s up with him, you hear a familiar voice behind your shoulder.

“well, what have we here?”

“diluc!” the red haired man takes place of the young man who looks relieved to not have to bear witness as a bartender.

“hello, y/n, how do you do?”

you smile, the warmth in diluc’s voice going unmissed, “i’m just fine, although a certain someone has taken it upon themselves to ruin my ritual of tea and silence.”

kaeya props a hand around your shoulders, “i’m just repaying you for getting rid of all those gnarly hilichurls.”

whatever was bothering kaeya a moment ago seems to have disappeared, especially in the presence of his arch rival, diluc.

diluc calmly reaches over to lift kaeya’s hand off your shoulder as if it’s the corpse of a slime he’s picking up and hurls it away. “please, kaeya, i thought you didn’t pursue women who’d clearly expressed their lack of interest.”

“and i thought you were too superior to everyone else to stick your nose in their business.”

“well,” you butt in before the two can actually slit each other’s throats, “i thought it was reasonable to agree to work under jean but i guess we all have things we’re wrong about, don’t we?”

diluc’s expression dampens into something like sadness when you mention your overworked state but you brush it off by chugging the rest of your tea. “oh, before i forget,” you rummage through your meagre backpack before removing a package, handing it over to kaeya, “this is for you.”

kaeya looks perplexed, looking between you and diluc, and slowly places a hand on the package, “for me?”

“a client painted the scenery from luhua for me because i found his paintbrushes and supplies, and i know you like your souvenirs, so you can have it.”

“....” kaeya is still speechless and diluc has you pinned with a look of suspicion.

“but why would give it to him?”

“because i go to luhua way too often already and i know kaeya is usually stuck around monstadt so…”

“that’s incredibly sweet of you, my love,” kaeya regains his senses and as you stand up to leave, he pulls you into a hug.

“you’re welcome, boss,” you smile as you pull away, “anyway, i must be on my way.”

“do you think the traveller is with someone?”

maids at dawn winery sure do love to gossip.

“with her looks and strength, for sure! my bets are on master diluc.”

okay, look, you didn’t meant to eavesdrop on them but they were right there when you came out of the washroom. you were going to walk out and pretend like you hadn’t heard them but hearing diluc’s name shook you.

“no,, what about mr kaeya? i heard they hang out after long, tiring quests all the time.”

“but she and master diluc love to discuss-”

all righty, time to evacuate.

“!!”

you manage to keep a poker face as you throw the door open in their faces and stride past them, making your way to the room with diluc.

you quickly dash in, closing the door behind you. you knOW your face is flushed so you turn away from diluc.

diluc frowns. that’s weird. why are you hiding from him?

he rises from his chair, “y/n? is everything okay? are you hurt?”

“y-yeah, i’m just embarrassed.”

you feel yourself being turned around by two big hands on your elbows.

diluc’s concerned eyes meet yours and you almost melt into a puddle of slimy plasma because he’s so hot even though he’s just worried.

“you’re red. why are you red?”

“...i’m fine.”

as if he’s aware of your flustered state, he moves closer to your face in order to look into your eyes which makes a new batch of blood flow to your face.

“y/n, you need to tell me what’s wrong. is it a fever? i can call—”

“nO! it’s nothing. just—!” you break away from his (very intense) hold and move away into the room for fresh air. “stupid me.”

“no way, she did not!”

diluc is immensely frustrated with venti. he has the most unusual reactions to everything diluc says and usually he doesn’t give a shit, but this is about you and your weird state yesterday, so yES he gives a shit!! >:-(

“yes, she did. i’m telling you she did. why are you—”

“oh, i heard you, i just can’t believe that the calm and strong little traveler would lose her cool and around you of all people!”

“heY, what do you mean? i’m perfectly fine as a person to lose one’s cool around.”

yep, diluc has no idea what he’s saying.

it’s just

he thinks the world of you

he really, really likes spending time with you (even when you guys are just talking about the fatui’s next move! or how you found new cool ways to take down an abyss mage!)

you’re so sweet and you don’t take his words for what they’re not. you’re not taken aback by his bluntness and you’re able to make him laugh.

what more does he need in life

well, apparently, venti because he has no idea what to do after you suddenly left the dawn winery that day.

“ugh”

“you’re really worried, huh?”

“was that not crystal clear by now? i came all the way to windrise to talk to you!”

venti chuckles his annoying chuckle

“okay, okay, i’ll help you,” diluc sighs as he waits venti to go on, “here’s what i think: she likes you back.”

..

what

diluc.exe has stopped working

man just blanks out

short-circuits, fireworks, malfunction — you name it.

“diluc?”

“no.”

“what do you mean, no?”

“first of all, why did you say ‘likes you back’? i- i don’t like her or anything. and secondly, no, she does not like me.”

“i’m going to pretend like i didn’t even hear the first part. about the second thing, here’s a question for you: why?”

“because she likes kaeya!”

venti pauses, “i was not aware there was another contender. diluc, you bastard, tell me all the details next time.”

“does this mean she just hates my guts?”

“no, it just means she may or may not like you. back.”

“i told you—!” venti stands up breaking off diluc’s sentence midway, brushing grass off his palms.

“take her to dinner or something tonight and ask her.”

“ask her? ask her what— wait, where are you going, you stupid bard— ASK HER WHAT?”

life is hard for a traveller

you’ve just managed to finish delivering grilled fish to a jack who wants become more manly when katheryne sets you thREE more commissions saying there was a crazy influx of requests suddenly.

you barely manage to uproot two hilichurl camps, and by the third quest, you’re quite dead inside. if only some rogue eye of the storm wasn’t terrorizing civilians.

you’ve gotten in a hit or two in when you skip over a stone and fall right on your face

“fUCK!”

shit

ouch

ouch shit

that hurt

you manage to twist around and keep the eye away with a half-earnest windblade attack and try to sit up.

damn it, is this the pitiful way you die? dammit, you at least wanted to drink your evening tea—

a flash of fiery thunder catches your attention

is that…?

“y/n! stay where you are!”

yup, it’s diluc in all his dark knight hero glory. he finishes off the stupid green eyeball in less than three fire-charged strikes.

you sigh in relief, falling back against the grass.

“hey, hey, hey,” diluc enters your field of vision, red strands falling into his face as he leans down to cradle your head in his lean arms, “where did you injure yourself?”

you tremble a little as you try to lift your foot, “a-ah, my right foot. i twisted my ankle probably. thanks for fi—”

“shh-shh, you’ll have plenty of time to thank me. come on, can you sit up?”

you grab his wrist and prop yourself against his chest so that you’re practically in his lap.

“that’s great, let me take a look at—”

“mhm!! don’t move. please,” you can feel diluc’s breathing tense behind you as you lean into him, “i think the eye hit me while i was down- my neck— ah, fuck—” your hand comes away from your nape soaked in red, “it’s bleeding.”

“it’s all right, you’ll be just fine. just get comfortable and i’m going to lift you up. think you can manage?”

you nod as one of diluc’s hands comes to rest under your knees, folding them and the other tenderly embraces your upper back.

“tell me if it hurts too much.”

he heaves the both of you up and the shock stings your exposed neck a little but you’ll survive.

everything is beginning to become blurry so you lift your hand to feel diluc and meet his chest. despite everything, you smile, aware he’s speaking because you can feel him vibrating but the words are all mushed up and you can feel yourself slipping away.

even though usually you would panic at feeling your consciousness fading but right now, it’s okay because it’s diluc who’s holding you and you know it’s him because just before the black collapses on you, you hear him.

“you’re fine, kitten.”

“—up! y/n, it’s me.”

mhhm, what a sweet voice. so soft and melodious.

“y/n, i can see you smiling in your sleep,” the voice comes closer, “come on, everyone’s really worried.”

the world materializes in front of you as you fight against the closing of your heavy eyelids. “barbara?”

“y/n! you’re alive!”

“i am?”

why would you not be alive?

…

oh

right

the eye

stupid thing

wait a minute,.,.,.

you remember diluc saving your arse.

oh righT

that’s because he did!

he—

he was holding you?

you were in his lap????????

wait a minute!! that sounds wrong

“am i dreaming?”

“really, of all the people you know, do you really see yourself dreaming of me, traveller? last time i saw you, you wanted to steal the holy lyre from—”

“y/n!!”

holy shit

that’s the voice of your saviour

noo

noo

stop the clock

you’re not ready to meet him!!!!!!!

“ah, it’s master diluc! he was so worried about you the whole time you were dead— i mean, asleep,” you redden as the tall man appears in front of you, “kaeya had to force him to leave and get some food but—”

“ahem!” diluc cuts barbara off with a strong clearing of his throat and she throws him a look before standing up from your side.

“i guess i’ll leave you two alone then!”

“wait, barbara, you should stay—”

and she’s gone.

you slowly look up to face diluc

“how are you feeling?”

“much better,” he sits next to you and you smile, “thanks to you.”

diluc frowns as if remembering something unpleasant, “i really wish you wouldn’t just bear all the load.”

“you found out from…”

“kaeya mentioned he hadn’t seen you around the town square as he usually does and when i went to speak with katheryne, she said she’d had no choice but to send you off on extra commissions.”

you look down, “i’m sorry. i wanted to ask someone to come along but everyone seemed busy and—”

“you never checked up on me though,” you bite your lip, “i would have known.”

“that’s- that’s because you’re always busy, what with the winery and your dark knight—”

“y/n,” you stop speaking with a pout and diluc raises your chin with his finger, “promise me you’ll tell someone next time things get so overwhelming. tell me, i’m never going to be occupied enough to not help you out.”

you blush agaiN

stupid kind diluc

“thanks, diluc.”

“and you can stop feeling sorry for me.”

when you look at diluc he looks he’s just caught you red-handed.

“what—”

“i wanted to help you,” you nod, “what’s more, i think i quite enjoyed it.”

“enjoyed. . . carrying an injured woman to safety? you might have a saviour complex, diluc. or perhaps, some sort of a kink.”

you expect diluc to lash back with a defensive retort but to your absolute and complete surprise, he smirks.

the man smiRKS

he’s all ;)

“oh? i won’t deny that,” your stomach suddenly feels queasy all over again as diluc inches closer (and you’re wondering in your head WHEN DID SATAN, OR WORSE KAEYA, POSSESS THIS MAN?!), “but while we’re on the topic of kinks and enjoying ourselves, you seemed to quite like sitting in my lap.”

“diluc!” your exclamation is one of disbelief because you cannot believe that diluc, the man who has never once made an inappropriate joke around you, is openly accepting that he has a kink and is accusing you of having one.

“what? am i wrong? when i tried to move, you stopped me immediately.”

“y-yeah, i did, but—” you’re trying with all your heart to defend your actions but diluc has managed to come close enough to tap his fingers against your outstretched knee. “it was— you were warm and my neCK was bleeding. was i supposed to just die out there?”

“i suppose you’re right, i am warm.”

“exactly.”

you seemed to have dodged a disaster because diluc is distracted by the cuts on your knee and the bandage around your ankle. his slender finger dance down your shin to touch the fabric of the white material tied tightly and he gently holds it.

“does it still hurt?”

“i don’t know, i haven’t tried walking.”

“do you wanna?”

you nod eagerly and diluc offers his hand but before you can be tempted into taking it, you cross your arms.

“why should i hold your hand?”

“because we need to first test if you can even walk without help.” diluc looks confused and you decide that whatever demon possessed him moments ago is long gone.

“correct answer,” you take his hand, and slowly stand up.

“hmm,” your right foot hurts a little but it’s better than you imagined. you tell diluc that.

“that’s a relief,” you reach the door of the empty cathedral and diluc puts his hand on the door, “would you like to take a walk?”

“is diluc around?”

“ah, he said he’ll be back in five. he’s personally delivering some paperwork to the acting headmaster.”

“alright, thanks!”

you’re excited!! it’s friday and today, you and diluc are going aLL the way to liyue to get dinner and stargaze as a post-dinner activity. diluc said he was friends with xiangling who’d always wanted him to come and try her dishes out sometime and he’d asked you earlier if you’d be interested to join him.

of course you were. it sounded like a date! in fact by the way you had spent all afternoon choosing the deep maroon skirt and contrasting white blouse, you were convinced to view it as a date.

“y/n, i apologize to have kept you waiting,” a breathless (and dashing) diluc appears by your side and you smile.

“no problem, diluc, i heard you were doing some important work.”

the both of you leave the tavern, “not exactly important, but let’s just say that while i may not be interested in the knights of favonius, i do value my life somewhat.”

“jean’s scares you, too, huh,” you laugh.

it’s not like diluc is realizing this for the first time but: you’re beautiful

like yeah, you have great hair and dazzling eyes that are bright when you’re happy and a dangerous smile but in the night, in this ethereal lighting, you’re taking his breath away.

“this place looks so fancy,” you’re seated across from him as you play with the ends of your hair. “when i come to this inn, i usually remain on the periphery but wow, this is quite impressive.”

“well, xiangling did say she got pretty famous as a cook around here.” diluc feels dazed especially since half his attention is occupied by how adorable you look.

the night progresses like this; diluc captivated by your blinding beauty and you trying to wrap your head around the fact that you’re on a daTE with diluc.

“oh, hey, look, it’s a silk flower!” you run over to the short, maroon plant, plucking a few flowers out, “xingqiu was telling me how much he loves these.”

he kneels next to you, smiling, “they are quite the pleasant plants.”

“they sorta remind me of you.”

“me?”

diluc touches the stem as you play around with the buds, “yes. for starters, you’re both red. and you both smell nice. you make wine, these make clothes. and if you think about it, wine is the silk of alcohol.”

his fingers collide against yours in the quaint flower, “that’s an intriguing comparison. wine and silk. . .” before you can pull away, diluc takes hold of your hand, pulling you up after him.

he can feel you stiffen a little and then mold back into place, your tiny hand squeezing against his bigger one. the road has become quieter as you travel further from the inn, and more stars start to peek out from the sky.

“thank you for taking me out to dinner, diluc.”

“thank you for having dinner with me, y/n.”

you suddenly giggle a little as if remembering a memory. “what’s funny?”

you look at him and then back down, biting down on your lip — a terrible habit really but especially terrible right now, because it only draws his attention to the soft pink lips he was trying not to look at the whole night (which was made even harder when xiangling decided to serve you the spicier dishes).

“that time you saved me from the eye, you called me something right before i fainted.”

diluc smiles fondly, “kitten?” he is pleasantly surprised when you giggle again, cheeks tinting the loveliest pink. “what’s this? could it be you enjoy being called kitten?”

you squeeze his hand slightly, “maybe…”

diluc’s heart almost gives out on spot

he’s sO whipped for you it hurts physically

“y/n—”

before he can say anything else, you pull him ahead with you because well,,,, you’re embarrassed

“come on, we should go stargaze before it gets too late.”

diluc smiles and allows you to drag him to the clearing at the edge of a cliff.

“i remembered this cliff from one of my adventures,” you plop down onto the grass and hesitantly, diluc follows

“hmm, it’s very peaceful here. i’m going to have to note this down as one of my future hideouts.”

you grin, “don’t reveal that to me. i might end up following you here and you won’t have any of your good ole introspection time.”

your tone is teasing but for once, diluc feels that his needs for alone time are being acknowledged by your light-hearted threat. he shifts closer, heart on the verge of bursting.

“i like you, y/n,” it comes right out of his mouth, clear and loud, the way diluc always dreamed of confessing but never managed to nail during his endless practices

you, on the other hand, are at the risk of a heart attack. you don’t want to pretend to be clueless and dense — diluc did ask you out for dinner when he could be spending the evening doing something more intellectually enriching — but at the same time, you feel like you can’t be sure enough

because it’s diluc!! he’s so complicated, he has so many layers

“you like me?” you keep your gazed fixed on the stars above just so you can mask your disappointment in case he clarifies that he likes you but, of course, as a friend who easily gets in trouble and happens to be around his tavern all the time

but inside diluc’s head are alarms. literal ALARMS. red, blaring alarms.

“i- you have no obligation to accept my feelings or give me answer but i’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time now. i really like you in a way i didn’t think possible. you’re so kind and funny and you make profound judgements about people, without being swayed by the biases that surround them and you’re so brave. but i know you have many men courting you and you did seem to have a soft spot for kaeya so this is—”

“i like you, too, diluc.”

diluc.exe has stopped working part 2 the finale

no more brain cells for him

“diluc?”

“you’re being honest?”

“of course i am. i’ve liked you ever since you took down that abyss mage with me. i don’t know how i’m expected to not fall for the dark knight hero.”

despite his dislike for the nickname, diluc blushes and you laugh at his small adorable smile

but the next moment it’s as if a switch has been flipped and suddenly his flustered face turns into a look of lust

his hands are on your waist, pulling you close until you can feel his hot breath against your lips

your hand comes up his face, tenderly cupping it and your lips crash

diluc groans against your lips when your other hand gingerly finds his hair and to say the least, you are extremely attracted to the sound of him groaning, low and deep

“come closer,” your plea is almost petulant as your grip on his hair tightens. diluc lifts you into his lap, arms around you

but he suddenly pulls away and it kills him to do so because you are a sight to behold, lips redder than ever, mouth half open, and breath heavy

“what in the fuck—” your dismay is clear as you frown at the concerned expression on diluc’s face, “hey, what’s wrong? did i—”

“why did you give kaeya that gift?”

for a moment you think you must be dreaming because it would be absolutely ridiculous if the man stopped your make-out session just to ask you—

“i mean, why not… me?” diluc’s voice has become small, gaze averted as if he’s scared he messed up

you sigh, bringing both your hands to cup his face, squishing his cheeks slightly to make him look at you

“listen, diluc, i have no feelings for kaeya. he’s just one of my nicer superiors and i wanted to thank him for being understanding. and i meant what i said that day — it genuinely reminded me of how he’s stuck around the favonius headquarters.”

diluc processes what you have to say and then, after a few silent beats:

“he’s only nice to you because he’s into you.”

“diluc, will you please just make out with me?”

you pull him back into a kiss and this time, he returns with more passion, one hand boldly cupping your ass and you can’t help but shiver at the sensation of his warm hand

you begin to reach under his shirt when you realize something

“wait, diluc,” you sit up, twisting to look up at the sky, “we were supposed to stargaze. you seemed so excited about it, you even called it the post-dinner activity.”

diluc caresses your arm as he slowly restores the distance between you, eyes on your lips.

he whispers against the nape of your neck, “i’m sure we can think of another post-dinner activity,” his fingers graze your stomach, “right, kitten?”

[honeypirate]

Flower in the Sun

AU where Beni has a mom (I don’t know if he doesn’t I just know about his adoptive father/master)

Benimaru x Fem!Reader

Not edited don’t hate me for the many mistakes

5.5k words

You tried to focus on the celebration, tried to let go of all the stress you felt right now, but it was difficult considering you JUST moved here less than a year ago, opened your shop in town and lived above it, and now your whole apartment/shop was obliterated. back to basically square one for who knows how long.

You sat by the edge of the celebration, chewing on your lip as you thought about your options. You’d have to move your shop back to the barn on the gardens you have outside of town but you didn’t get as much business that way.. plus you can’t really sleep there. You could move back in with your mother but she lived near company 3 and baked them a cake every sunday, your sisters family lived in the Shinjuku District but they were holy sol nuts and you really didn’t want to have to ask them of all people. So the barn was the only real option right now, no bed but at least it has a roof and a door with a lock. A voice cuts through your thoughts and you pay attention when you realize it belongs to Benimaru

‘If I wrecked your house last night feel free to stay at the guardhouse until it’s fixed. It won't take too long.” you felt a weight lift off your shoulders as you watched those without homes gather around him for details, you pick yourself up and walk over to the group so you could hear what to do.

At the guard house you are directed to a small room at the back since you were just one person and not a family. You didn't mind that it was a small space or that you were farther away from anyone else, you were just grateful you could stay in Asakusa and keep your business running. You are told that you can help yourself to breakfast in the morning and dinner will be served for everyone at night and you were given a few essential toiletries.

When you are certain that everyone else staying there had used the showers, you gave it some extra time so that the hot water will replenish before you made your way silently down the quiet halls of the guard house.

You walk past a door that was open, you glance as you walk by and see Benimaru help bandage Konro, the sight brought a small smile to your lips as you continued your course to the showers.

Their conversation after you passed went something like this

“Waka”

“I saw her”

“She's beautiful. You should..”

“No”

Konro sighs “if you don't, maybe I wilL”

“You’re such a pain in the ass”

Your shower was amazing, they really spared no expense on the quality of shampoo and conditioner. You were so glad to not smell like smoke anymore as you changed into a new set of clothes, they were too big and just a fire force soldier shirt and jumper, but you didn't care. They were clean and comfortable. You folded your dirty clothes into a small stack and carried it back to your room, making a mental note to run to the clothing store in the next few days.

The next morning you are up at dawn, walking through the still quiet hallways towards the kitchen. You get warm in the baggy jumpsuit so you undo it halfway and tie the arms around your waist before you open the doorway. Inside there is a long table with different foods set out and at the end is Benimaru and Konro. You bow to them “thank you for letting me stay” you say, your voice as quiet as the morning. “I’m sorry for destroying your home.” Benimaru says and you rise, a smile on your lips as you make your way farther into the room before kneeling down in front of the table across from Konro.

“You’re Y/N L/N who owns the herb and flower shop” Konro says, recognizing you now that you were up close. You nod and reach out, grabbing some bread “yes I am, although my shop will now be run from the gardens just outside of town until it is rebuilt. My herb garden was on top of my apartment building so some special herbs will be out of stock for a while” you laugh and rip a piece of bread and put it in your mouth. “There is a garden behind the guardhouse that is hardly used, feel free to plant whatever you like” Benimaru says and you blush before bowing your head “thank you very much Captain Shinmon.” He frowns and Konro chuckles under his breath “just call me Benimaru” he says and you nod “of course. Benimaru” you notice the sunrise outside and stand again “thank you again, for breakfast as well” you say with a bow before leaving the room, your unfinished bread in your hand to finish on your way to the gardens. you had to set up your new shop in the barn on the flower farm you made sure to leave as early as you could since that would take a while, good thing you had one employee to help you, your close friend Jo.

One eye like a bullseye and one like an X. you couldn’t look away from him even if you wanted to. Here he was, in your shop, pursuing the already made bouquets you had made that morning and the potted plants Jo had taken care of. You watched him talk to Jo for a second from your spot at the back counter, before resuming his shopping.

You could hear Jo next to you saying your name but it didn’t register that she was talking to you until she walked in front of your vision “huh?” you ask and she glares “huh?! I have been practically shouting at you for the past five minutes. Could you take your eyes off of the Captain for a second please?” your cheeks turn red as you look down sheepishly “sorry Jo” you whisper and she laughs at you then says “he’s actually looking for you, oh flower master” you gasp and look up into her eyes “WHAT?” you practically shout and then crouch down behind the counter when you see his head turn. Your coworker leans over the side and says “and he’s coming this way now. good job dummy” before she leaves “fuuuck” you whisper and panic, how are you going to okay this off? “didn’t know you hated me this much y/n. Is it because I destroyed your home?”

You dip your head back to look up at his face which is now looking over at you as he leans over the counter. His facial expression was uninterested but he had curious eyes. His voice was monotone, like he had way more things to be doing than this mediocre errand. You pop to your feet, your face feeling like 100 degrees. “No!! I mean yes! I mean!Ugh” you sigh and close your eyes, stealing a moment before opening your eyes, a customer service smile and voice when you say “no, I dont hate you. Sorry i'm just a little flustered. How may i help you today?”

“I need some flowers and when you mentioned your garden at breakfast I thought I would come down. I need whatever says “i’m sorry for not coming to dinner for 5 months i still love you mom” you bite back a giggle as you think of his mom, a regular at your shop who would come just to talk “say no more, come with me and we will build you a perfect bouquet” he nods and you grab a flower basket and a knife, leading him out the side door into the garden.

“So these ones are blue hyacinths, they represent peace and truth” he hums before shaking his head “no” he says and you chuckle, leading him down a few rows before stopping again “these are called star of bethlehem, they mean reconciliation” he leans in close “i like these ones” he says and you smile “perfect” you say and reach out cutting a few and adding them to your basket before walking down a few more rows.

You spend half an hour looking around at the flowers and chatting easily. “So why haven't you been to dinner with your sweet mother? She comes in every once in a while and only has nothing but kind things to say about you” you ask while you finish the arrangement of star of bethlehem, yellow roses, white ivy flowers, spider mums, and lily of the valley. You spruced it up with some ivy greenery and the last of the rosemary and chamomile flowers in the shop, the seeds you’re going to plant back at the guard house were already in your bag in the back.

The bouquet you made was beautiful and you felt proud as you tied around a few ribbons “Just busy is all” he says and you hand the bouquet over “well, tell her y/n from the flower shop says hi” he nods “i will. thank you y/n” he says, his fingers brushing yours as he takes the flowers. “Will i see you at dinner?” he asks and you smile “wouldn't miss it” he nods “good Konro will stop asking me now” you chuckle, does that mean Konro likes you? You push the thought aside “have a good rest of your day, Benimaru” you say and he gives you a small smile “you as well” you notice the flush of pink on his neck as he exits the shop.

“Ohhh these are lovely! Are they from y/n’s garden??” Beni nods “she say’s hi by the way” his mom smiles and brings the flowers into the kitchen to grab a vase “that girl is so sweet, she always remembers FooFoo and if i bring her with she gives her treats.” Benimaru feels his heart warm as he crouches down to scratch the tiny head of the senior dog laying on the floor. “She moved her shop to her garden until it’s rebuilt” he says, remembering the way he felt her eyes on him in the store, the way her hair shown in the sunlight as she brought him around her garden, telling him about the means behind every flower he asked about, the way the conversation was easy. He found himself wanting to talk to her again, trying to find any reason to go back to your garden. “Benimaru!” his mom shouts and he looks up to her “sorry ma” he says and she just shakes her head with a smile “shes quite beautiful isnt she?” his mom says as she places the flowers in the vase “yeah” Beni says “she is”

When you get back to the guard house after work it’s already dark and quiet, you had a lot of work to do once you closed and it unfortunately made you miss dinner. You roll your shoulders as you take off your shoes by the back gate, picking them up as you walk into the back garden. You hum softly to yourself as you find a watering can and hose, filling it up halfway and bringing it with you over to the garden boxes filled with dry dirt. You chuckle at the sight “poor unfortunate neglected dirt, not for long tho” you whisper as you wet the soil, sure you could plant more things at your garden around your flowers but if you did both you'd have more supply when they were grown. Plus it was the perfect time to plant. You kneel by the garden box and mix up the soil so it was all wet and combined before planting the seeds. Unaware of the man on the back porch watching you as you went, a smile on his lips.

You snap your fingers and the hanging lanterns above you light, making your face glow as you look up and make eye contact with Benimaru, a smile on your lips when you notice his shocked expression. He recovers quick with a smile you can tell he’s trying to hide “you missed dinner” he states and you chuckle “I’m sorry to make you miss me” you say with a chuckle “Would you like to help me?” your voice was quiet but he heard it like it was right by his ear.

He stands from his spot and walks over to you, his feet making soft sounds when they hit the dirt. He kneels down next to you and you take his hands in yours, making him cup them, the dirt on your hands rubbing off on him. “Take some of these” you dump some seeds into his hands “and plant them in a row, a couple finger widths apart and a knuckle deep” he nods as he follows your orders, you start on another row and hum softly as you go.

“You’re a pyrokinetic” he says and you chuckle “kind of. I mean. I never had any training so I can’t fight or anything with it. Nothing compared to your talents. But technically yes” “You’ve watched me so often you know of my talents?” he asks and you watch as his fingers push seeds into a neat row. You chuckle “yes, im not ashamed to say it. You’re captivating and insanely talented.” His cheeks flush and he clears his throat “is..is this right?” He asks and pulls his dirt covered empty hands away “that’s perfect Beni” he holds his hand out for more seeds and you smile as you pour some more into his palm.

“These are chamomiles, one of my favorites although common” you say “why do you like it?” he asks and you feel your stomach birth a butterfly or two “when i was younger, my grandma owned the flower garden. She would plant beautiful flowers and let me pick whichever ones I wanted. Then at the end of the day she would let me go pick as many chamomile flowers as i wanted so she could make tea. As we drank tea should tell me stories, I love chamomile because it reminds me of quality time and the stories that can be shared over a good cup of tea”

You finish your story as you both finish planting. You wipe your hands off on your pants as you stand up with him “thank you for your help” you say with a smile that he returns “thank you for the story” you nod “anytime Benimaru” he picks up your shoes and hands them to you before he puts the watering can back and disappears inside the guard house.

You snap your fingers as you walk inside, the lanterns going out before you close the door.

You don’t see Benimaru for the next few days, he wasn’t there for breakfast or dinner, you guess he has fire force duties that keeps him busy but you can't help but wonder how he is.

You get home from work late again, a wedding coming up that has been keeping you busy. You shower and then make your way through the guardhouse to the kitchen, it’s quieter than usual, a few families homes are already built and yours should be soon as well. You walk into the kitchen and smile when you see Beni already there “hi” you whisper as you shuffle to the cupboard to grab a mug and some tea “hi y/n” he says when you stand next to him at the stove, the tea kettle already heating up “can’t sleep?” you ask and he nods. You notice the dark circles under his eyes and how bloodshot they look. You hum in response and frown at the response your heart had when you saw him. Like you wished you could take care of him and rub his back while he lays in bed. “Are you just getting back?” he asks and you nod and cover your mouth as you yawn “yeah. Mrs. Kim’s daughter is getting married sunday and I’ve been making all the arrangements. White peonies, lavender, and ivy, it’s gorgeous” he notices the bandages on your fingers and dark circles under your eyes that almost match his. He wants nothing more to hold you while you both fall asleep. He’s so sleep deprived and he can see you are as well, but his thoughts are cut off by the whistle of the pot. “Do you wanna sit?” he asks and you nod with a smile.

You sit and talk at the little table in the kitchen, the only light coming from the one hanging above the table. It felt like you were in your own world as you talked and shared stories, laughing at the many things he told you about growing up and meeting Konro.

You told him more stories about your grandma, about your childhood. You bonded over mutual feelings for religion and politics, over what you want for the future. Before long you’ve finished a cup of chamomile tea and your second cup has gone cold, at some point he grabbed your hands and was now playing with your fingertips as he told you the story of how he became captain, sharing his fears with you in the safe space of the quiet kitchen. “I think I will always believe that Konro could have been better at this than me” he whispers and you lean forward, reaching up to brush his hair from his forehead before cupping his cheek “for what it’s worth, I think you are perfect” you hear his breath catch as his eyes look up into yours “perfect for this company, for this town. I talk to many of the people who live here and I have only ever heard praise and kindness for you. Your people love you. I know you don't like sweets that much but I’ve seen you accept them AND eat them and that says so much about you. People always give you so many gifts because it’s the only way we know how to give back, to you and the company for protecting the people and always being there.” Your hand slips as you go to move it from his cheek but he moves his hand up, covering yours and holding it in place.

“You may not feel worthy of this mantle, Waka” you smirk and give him a sweet look, knowing about his nickname and using it in this context makes his heart race as a small chuckle escapes his throat. “And no matter what i say, you can live with what makes you comfortable. But know that you are ultimately not living the truth.” He ponders your words for a moment and brings his hand down, taking yours with it. “The truth being that you DO deserve this position. You ARE worthy. You ARE the best and most qualified for this” his fingers laced together with yours “and you have the support of your team and basically the whole city...” your cheeks blush and you look down at your hands together against the table “and you have mine as well” you whisper

Benimaru was gone the next few days, Konro as well. Leaving you in the guard house as more and more families left, able to go back to their newly built homes until only a few of you remained.

Your bare feet plop along the wooden floor, echoing in the empty quiet hallway as you make your way to the back. Your long duster cardigan hitting the back of your ankles and making your shorts and tank top seem even more cozier. The sound of birds makes you smile as you take a deep breath of the fresh morning air, walking to the little garden with a watering can in your hand.

“Good morning” he said softly, his voice strained and tired. You smile and your head snaps up to look at him, your smile falling as you take him in.

You set down the watering can and stand, making your way to him in an instant. “Are you okay?” You ask, your hands reach for him but stop a short distance away. His face had a bandage on his cheek and forehead, his left hand wrapped, and a bruise forming around his left eye. “Just a couple scratches is all” he says, taking one of your hands with his right hand and slowly leads you back to the plants. “They’re growing nicely” he says as he looks down at the sprouts, already a little tall and poking out of the dirt in just a week.

He drops your hand to pick up the watering can, raining down the cool liquid over your plants, the dry lightened dirt turning dark brown. “You’re going to work?” He asks and you shrug “I don’t have anything special to do today, and if I’m being honest” you blush and take the can from his hand, walking to put it away so you didn’t have to look at him “I wanted to go in today so I didn’t think about how much I wanted to talk to you”

His breath catches and his wounds don’t even throb anymore, he wasn’t paying attention. All that matters is the soft way your voice reached his ears, saying something he didn’t even realize he was hoping for. You’ve been missing him, just as much as he seemed to miss you. “Will you get some breakfast with me?” He asks, his voice normal, hiding every anxiety and feeling deep in his heart, but as you turned and met his eye you could see the hope he's feeling in them.

“I was thinking” you say after Konro excuses himself from breakfast, leaving you and Beni alone. “Could you.. I mean. Do you know of anyone who could train me with my abilities? If it’s possible I could get stronger then I want to” your hands are in closed fists against your thighs and you me eyes shone with the determination you feel. He chuckles softly, popping a piece of fruit in his mouth and thinking as he chews. “I think I could figure something out. Tomorrow night work for you?” You beam at him, grinning from ear to ear with excitement “that works perfect!” You place your hand on his arm that rests against the table “Thank you Benimaru” you say softly and he nods, trying desperately to suppress the blush he feels is imminent.

The next evening you went out to check your ganden before you were supposed to train, you hoped that he had found someone nice to help you. “Are you ready?” He asks behind you and you smile while you stand from your place by the small growing herbs “as I’ll ever be! Who will you have train me?” You ask and meet his eyes, raising yours brows in question, noticing his face was without his bandages today and his wounds really did look like scratches. “I will” he states and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows.

You take a couple steps towards him “no!” You exclaim louder than intended and you laugh once awkwardly as his eyebrows raise “I mean. You’re hurt! and my power is so low it’s not worth your time. I’ve seen the boys you train! their power and skill is levels higher than me” he walks over to you, setting his right hand on your shoulder and leaning down to your ear “I want to” he whispers and your cheeks dust pink as a small gasp leaves your throat, oh how he desperately loved that sound. He pulls back with a smirk “and I’ve said” he raises his left hand that still had a small bandage around his palm “it’s just a scratch” he begins to walk away from you, over to the training space and you’re stunned for a few moments. Standing there and watching his back as he walked away, your heartbeat racing and your brain empty save it for the way Benimaru’s breath tickled your ear.

“Well?” He asks when he realizes you’re not following him, turning back and looking at you with daring eyes, snapping you back into reality. Your smile spreads and the sight sends him over the moon, a feeling invading his heart that he’s become enamored with these past few days having you at the guardhouse. You were the sun slowly rising in his life, and he was drawn to your warmth. “Let’s do this” you say as you reach his side, the back of your hand brushing his for only a moment but it sends fireworks up his arm.

“Show me what you can do, outside of lanterns” he says as he stands to the side, his eyes taking in your form as you stand facing him. You hold up your hands and nod once, the tip of each finger igniting in small flames. “I can’t make them bigger but I can do..” you tighten each flame to smaller tips, growing in power and heat until they blazed like the head of welding guns. He nods once “she’s more powerful than she realizes” he thinks as he watches the flames reflecting your eyes.

“That’s good” he says as he approaches you “is this all you know how to do?” He asks as he takes a hold of your wrists gently, turning your hands and looking at your flames. “I couldn’t really practice a lot growing up so this is it unfortunately” he chuckles once, mostly just air from his nose, but it made you smile anyway. “Can you control which fingers or..” before he finishes you start randomly lighting and unlighting fingertips. “Now try to shoot the flames out” he says and you nod, trying to push the flames out but just ending up breaking a sweat and flashing your flames, not going anywhere else.

After fifteen minutes of absolutely nothing happening you sigh and flung your hands up in the air “I can not be this WEAK” you exclaim and shake them as you scowl. He sighs and comes over to you, reaching up and smoothing out your eyebrows gently before holding his hands out to you.

You hesitate, your hands almost being set in his before you pause and he raises his eyebrows “chicken” he whispers and you drop your hands against his “tch” he clicks his tongue and you roll your eyes as he uses his thumbs and first two fingers to rub your wrist gently “it’s your first test. Relax” he says, his fingers moving to the middle of your hand “there are many other things we’ll try, none of which make you weak if you can’t do them” goosebumps running down your spine as he moves down each finger, your breath catching in your throat with how gentle he was being with you and how nice it felt for him to be doing this to your hands, another sound that he found he adored. He brings your hands up and kisses each knuckle softly, effectively short wiring your brain yet again. “Try again” he whispers, letting your hands go and standing back again.

You took a deep shaky breath and closed your eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin and the warmth he has ignited in your heart, before opening your eyes and shoving your hands out, each finger popping as flames, strong, bright blue flames, shoot from each finger.

“BENIMARU!” You shout and laugh, dropping the flames and turning to run and throw your arms around his neck “oof” he mumbles as you hit him, his arms wrapping around you to keep you both stable. “I did it! I did it! I did it!” He sighs softly into your hair, “I saw” he whispered “wanna find out what else you can do?” He asks, his lips brushing against the side of your head. You squeeze him closer for a moment before pulling back “does this mean I should call you my Senpai? Or my Captain?” He rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop the blush that rose to his cheeks “No.” he says, but you laugh when he won’t meet your eye.

“You’ve come a long way for just a few hours” he says as you walk back to the garden, the sun beginning to set “you’re a really amazing teacher” you lean in close “Captain” you whisper before making a turn for the hose. He stops in his tracks after you whispered, his heart fluttering in his chest as he forces himself to calm down before turning and walking over to you

You look up to him from where you were crouched, running hose in one hand after you washed your face and the back of your neck. “You look a little flushed” you say as he crouches by you, reaching out for the hose. He just Humphs as you move the water closer to him, a smirk in your lips and mischief in his eyes that he would have known right away had he looked up at you.

Your thumb covers the end just so as he leans down, raising the pressure as it hits his hands spraying his face as well. You chuckle before placing your fingers against your lips, holding in as much of your giggles as you could. He slowly looks up into your eyes, water droplets falling from his hair and nose, he was annoyed for half of a second until he meets your eyes, notices the sweet mischief in your eyes and hears your soft giggles as they leave your lips. “Did you just..” you nod and slowly stand to back away from him, the mischief rising to his eyes as the corners of his mouth twitch up into a smile. He stands and takes one step towards you and you raise your emotu hand, “WAIT” you say and he stops “we.. we can talk about this..” you say with a smile, giggles escaping with every exhale. “I think we’re too far past talking about this” he says before he moves, quick with his hand out towards the hose but you scream and try to run, spraying him behind you as he gets closer. He laughs as he grabs you, his arms wrapping around your middle from behind not caring about the cool hose water that was currently soaking him. He reaches up and takes the hose from your hand and turns you around before smiling and slowly running the water across the back of your head then across both of your shoulders making you gasp and tense in his hold. “I think we’re even now” you say with a shiver and a laugh and he cocks his head “not yet” he says softly, his hands reaching up to tuck your damp hair behind your ears.

You gasp, his cold fingers cooling off your warm cheeks as he cups your face. The hose forgotten about, dropped on the grass by your feet, soaking the earth and making your toes muddy. But nothing else matters besides the way he’s looking at you and the way the sun is turning the sky red behind him.

Your hands grip the sides of his soaked shirt as you lean into him “and how, tell me, can we make it even?” You ask, following his hands with your face as he pulls you closer, his body curving forward as you lean forward on your tip toes, brushing your nose against his making his breath hitch “can I show you?” He whispers and you nod, your eyes fluttering closed as he closes the last inch between your lips.

Kissing him felt like the first breath of fresh air after an infernal has been put to rest. Felt like the first relaxing step into a hot spring. It sends goosebumps from your head to his toes before being followed by electricity making your skin tingle. Fireworks dance across the backs of your eyes as he wraps an arm around your waist, holding you tight against him. You sigh as your heart sways within your chest, comforting and warm as he holds you like his lifeline.

His thumb brushes softly against your cheek when he pulls away. Your hands smooth out his shirt before running your hands up his wet chest, his hands moving down to both rest against your waist. You can’t think of anything to say, just savoring the moment as you look into his eyes.

“Are you guys coming to dinner?” The twins say from the porch, effectively startling the hell out of you. You gasp and clutch your heart as Beni just smiles down at you, his back to them. “Thanks. We’ll be there in a minute” he says and they skip off. “We should get going. We’re gonna get sick” you say and reach up, running a hand through your damp hair. He reaches down and turns off the hose as you gather it, putting it away correctly and he reaches out, hooking his fingers with yours. “Mom will kill me if you get sick” he says softly and you laugh “maybe you could.. help me clean up. Make sure I don’t get sick” he coughs a few times, choking on his spit in shock and you laugh “Beni” you say softly and pause in the doorway, looking up at him. “I’m playing. I really like you. I’d like to take it as slow or fast as we both are comfortable with, okay?” You reach up and ruffle his damp hair, pushing it out of his eyes. His cheeks flush and he leans down, pressing his forehead to yours as your eyes close. “I adore you” he whispers and your heart flutters. “Let’s go get cleaned up” he whispers and squeezes your hand, guiding you along with him to the showers.

[deadlymodern]

*taps mic*

Umm, hello. Welcome to my presentation.

Hi! ✨

Since I'm rebranding and starting a new "volume" of my story, I decided to create a master recap for you lads. I think this was also a good moment to post this because I've received some new followers/readers that might be confused on what the fuck is happening.

Honestly, this was the only way I could make it work hfudihhiudf. Hope it was useful.

Obviously this recap doesn't have half the lore or depth you'd get from reading the whole story, but it should be enough to refresh your memory and/or for you to get into Where the Waves Crash without being clueless!

I'll place some links here, anyways, just in case someone is interested:

STORY'S MAIN PAGE | FULL STORY CHRONO | CHARACTER'S PAGE

✨ I'll also place a more complete written version of this recap with links to key chapters under the cut ✨

Thank you all for the support on the "rebrand", it really has made me feel even more inspired and motivated to continue with this hobby 🥺💙 

BETHANY

Beth was born to a family of farmers in Brindleton, a coastal village in rural England.

She’d help around the farm and care for her two younger brothers, Edward and Matthew, while also attending school, by her mother's request. 

At school, she became very close to her friend, Mary.

Her mother passed away during the birth of her youngest brother, Phillip. For that reason, her father, Edgar, pulled her out of school.

Mary would visit and sleep over often to keep her company.

As time passed, Beth realized she had romantic feelings for her friend. Even though they were reciprocated, Mary’d always push her away.

Before leaving to Finishing School, Mary accepted her feelings. The two girls began a romantic relationship.

While the girls were apart, Beth got to know William - a young man she met previously - better. They became good friends. She also developed a smoking habit through him.

Without her father’s approval, Beth attempted to get into the local College for a literature course, but failed her exam.

After a heated argument, Beth made a deal with her father to get married in exchange of permission to retake the exam and get a higher education.

While Mary was in Bridleton for the holidays, Beth officially proposed to her by giving her her later mother’s ring.

Beth kept writing weekly letters, but got confused and hurt when Mary suddenly stopped writing back.

Her father told her the truth about his nervousness in allowing her to pursue higher education, which made her feel even more emotionally trapped.

Adding up to it, her dear friend William asked for her hand in marriage, leaving her  lonely and lost 

Finally, she learnt about Mary’s engagement and reached a breaking point. Not enough to make her cry, but a breaking point nonetheless.

Beth is left unsure of what she will do with her life. She knows she has a choice to make, but she’d rather not have to make any decisions ever again.

MARY

Mary met Beth when they were 6 years old, on their way to school.

She was the one who instigated their first kiss. And their second. But also pushed her away once or twice due to fear.

She came to terms with her feelings before she left to Finishing School in Germany.

And kept in touch with Beth weekly through letters.

During her Winter break, Mary travelled back home. She then promised to leave everything behind and be with Beth once finished.

For that reason, Mary denied her suitor’s proposal. 

Her father, Charles, became suspicious and found her exchanged letters, which led to him blackmailing Mary into becoming engaged.

Mary wrote a last letter to Beth explaining the situation, but it was intercepted by the School’s headmistress, by Charles’ request.

Believing that Beth is informed, Mary goes on with her parent’s preparations for her wedding and gets ready for her School graduation.

TIMOTHY

Tim had been a close acquaintance of Mary for years and was expected to become her husband one day.

He was told to propose to her. She denied him at first, but said yes the second time.

Tim mentioned a family holiday to Normouth in July, and Mary’s father took the opportunity to set a date and location to their wedding.

During his last month in town, Tim went to an exhibit where he saw Will and Beth. He, then, bought a Kodak from William’s father. 

Tim is currently on his way to his family’s estate in Normouth for their holidays. Mary’s family is expected to join them in a couple of weeks.

WILLIAM

William met Beth during Mary’s 16th birthday ball.

He was the one who instigated her to pursue an higher education.

He is currently  in a Business major at Battlemere College as a request from his father, but is truly passionate about film. Here & here.

Started to fall in love with Beth as their friendship grew. Here and here.

Which eventually led to him proposing to Beth. 

William is yet to receive Beth’s answer, but is patiently waiting for it.

EDWARD

In childhood, Ned had a good relationship with his older sister.

They had a fall back once he announced he didn’t want a higher education.

Ned began noticing his sister’s suspicious behaviours, but always failed in an attempt to reconnect/get her to speak to him about it.

And, as time went by, the contrast between his and his siblings’ beliefs became more apparent.

Already suspicious of his sister’s relationship with Mary, Ned attempted to get on her good side by comforting her. Yet, it only pushed her away even more.

SUSANNA

Sue was a good friend of Beth’s, even though they’ve always had different opinions. It was through this friendship that Sue met Ned.

Sue and Ned weren’t very close in childhood. But they developed good communication and, eventually, fell in love.

They got engaged but were told to wait until Beth was wedded to be able to marry.

Even though the wedding was on stand-by, preparations were still being made.

After the Norman family’s horse passed away, Edward’s father decided to reconsider his decision and allowed Ned and Sue to set a date for the wedding so they could use Sue’s dowry to afford a new horse.

Sue is eagerly waiting for her dream Autumn wedding and her life alongside Ned and his family.

MATTHEW

Matt always felt different and distant from his family. He’s an introverted person, which made him very observant. 

He started to notice how his sister was treated differently from their brothers.

Matt backed Beth up in every situation against their father’s conservative views and helped her keep herself educated, in case she’d retake her exam. Here and here

He had a brief relationship with a local girl named Charlotte.

But, a couple of years later, was spotted kissing a man by lake Battlemere - though people couldn’t identify him.

He kept pretending nothing happened, in an attempt to get things to normal, and eventually got accepted into the local College.

Finally, he told Beth the truth about his sexuality.

Matt is very excited to introduce his boyfriend to Beth and to finally move out of their farm.

PHILLIP & DOROTHY

Phillip’s mother died giving birth to him.

He found comfort getting involved with music from an early age. He later learnt it was a shared interest with his late mother. 

In the music group, he met Dorothy, a young girl from Willow Creek, USA.

Beth helped him bake biscuits to Dottie in an attempt to make her feel a bit better after the pub incident. 

Dorothy became friends with Phillip due to their common interest in music.

She Helped Phillip start getting some closure on the guilt he feels for his mothers death.

During a night out, Dottie was harassed by a man. Phillip tried defending her, but things couldn’t be fixed so simply. They talked about it as the encounter scared them both - on different levels. 

At the moment, Flip and Dottie are very good friends. Flip is infatuated by her, but is trying to suppress it because he knows she is still overwhelmed by the pub incident. Dottie is concerned with her reputation around the village.

[timelessduet]

In His Eyes

Lucien's Eyes (His Colors)

Lucien grew up in a loving family. Although his parents were both well renowned scientists, they never failed in giving all their love and attention. His parents were really proud for having such a smart and talented child.

He was supported in all of his endeavors and excelled in any field of his liking. Lucien was particularly interested in the arts and science. While observing living creatures such as animals and humans, he also drew them.

Lucien lived a wonderful life with his parents... not until that happened. One rainy afternoon, on the day of his birthday, him and his parents encountered a car accident. That took the life of the only people he cared and loved in this world. And to make things worse, he was also at death’s door.

It would probably have been better if Lucien ended up joining his parents too. That would have been comforting and his suffering would have ended. Why? He lived but barely survived after being taken by an organization called Black Swan.

This chain of events may be seen as some kind of blessing by others but for Lucien, it was an extension of his pain and torment. The so called organization who saved him, also put him through uncalled for experimentation for human evolution.

Though Lucien was already in a state wherein anyone would feel miserable or just want things to end, he still went through. He still tried to live exist to understand... and hope that somewhere he’ll be able to find IT. Something that even he doesn’t know exactly what it is he is in search of.

One day, he decided to go to a provincial area with a beautiful camphor tree. He had fond memories there but it was also a place where he felt peace. Lucien drew different creatures he has observed while under the said tree.

That particular moment was indeed special. This was when Lucien first saw his colors. A little girl suddenly approached him while he drew and even asked him a question he found odd. “Do you think we can communicate to animals?”

He knew for a fact animals couldn’t talk. This was what he would’ve said to the little girl looking at him with curious eyes. Lucien was still dumbfounded of seeing so many colors just because of someone he only just met. It was of courtesy to answer a question given to him but this girl gave him something he still didn’t want to let go of yet.

“Animals speak but we just don’t understand them... As humans we try to figure out what they want to say to us. Yet as for them, they understand humans... maybe more than we do ourselves.” Lucien said quietly. It was unusual of him to say something not factual and hypothetical. He always believed everything had its reason and purpose in existing.

“You didn’t have to lie. I know we can’t communicate with animals. My father said so. It would probably be nice though to talk to other beings aside from humans. Maybe people will find comfort in that idea.” Lucien was stunned after the girl called him a liar. Hearing this somehow brought about some foreign emotion he cannot seem to explain. This girl...

After that short encounter, the girl left Lucien with a gift. Although it was true he did say a lie, she knew his intentions were good. The girl gave him a paper crane she just learned how to do. It wasn’t perfect but that moment was probably the best for the child Lucien. Who would’ve thought that short moment is something Lucien longed for again as he grew? He didn’t exactly lead a better life. He was kidnapped then shortly afterwards went with Black Swan to study overseas.

As someone who was very intelligent, he entered an all boys school in England. There he was able to complete high school and and undergraduate college degree. Lucien then continued pursuing his studies by obtaining a masters and PhD in neuroscience.

Lucien Xu became a well-known personnel in neuroscience. He had several researches and studies that greatly contributed to the neuroscience field. After being able to accomplish so much at such a young age, he established the Lucien Life Laboratory in Loveland City.

Aside from being a successful neuroscience researcher, he also became a guest professor for Loveland University. Although it could be said the course he teaches is complex and difficult, many students still attended his class. It was already obvious why this was the case.

Working as a professor wasn’t particularly part of Lucien’s plan. But with the recommendation of people he respected and seniors in the same field, he decided to give it a try. Who would’ve thought this was what will answer his silent wish what he would yearn for. He met her again.

Being a young guest professor in Loveland University made him meet his colors again. The only person in this world who could ever do that. While watching people below through his office window, it was her. The girl full of color and made the world full of life in his very eyes.

Lucien never believed in the existence of the gods. He only believed in facts and science, what can be seen and what can be proven. Meeting her again made him question his beliefs and make him waver. He knew for a fact he shouldn’t get close to her again. She was an anomaly beyond his comprehension. But he was also human no matter how smart or closed-off he wanted to be.

She was still the same as when they met several years ago. The girl who was all smiles and happy. She had so many questions and he finds himself also enjoying while answering those questions no matter how complicated or trivial they may be. Lucien just cannot seem to stop himself being drawn to her. He stayed for selfish and personal motives. Like other researches, she was something he needed to understand.

When things got tough with work, she would sometimes rant or be sad. Those times when he listened also tugged something in Lucien that made those foreign feelings harder to stop. He never felt like this in his life not with anyone... ONLY her. She was like a butterfly that brought a dull garden to life with its beautiful colored wings. It finally came to a point where he wanted to keep her all to himself. This girl was precious but...

“The world has so much to offer, Professor Lucien. It may be cruel and unfair sometimes but that’s just how life is right? We’ll smile and move forward.” He realized he cannot keep her to himself. She has the world to conquer and explore. Lucien never really cared about others but he cared about her greatly. In his eyes, he will continue this path of colors together with her. She was worth taking the risk.

[oatmilkslytherin]

not-so-opposites attract (n.longbottom)

description: a very unlikely friendship forms when slytherin!fem!reader is caught helping the hogwarts house elves in the kitchen. when you mix a kind, confident slytherin and a shy gryffindor with a heart of gold, what will be brewed? request idea by @ausblack​ thank you dear<33

pairing: neville longbottom x slytherin!fem!reader

warnings: none i think

requested: yes / no

taglist: @jud3cardan​ @dray-cookies​

a/n: love this idea and lil neville warms my heart !!! also this is so long MY GOODNESS 

perhaps it was her kind heart, perhaps it was her even kinder smile. whatever it was about y/n, it caused nearly her entire house to turn against her, but it also bloomed the most beautiful friendships with others. 

y/n couldn’t lie; being called a ‘blood-traitor’ along with a variety of harsh names by her housemates was definitely not the most pleasant experience in the world. she wanted nothing more than to spread a little bit of light and love with everyone at hogwarts, but kindness only caused her fellow slytherins to shun her. people often questioned why she was sorted into slytherin in the first place; y/n questioned it herself. 

however, after a few years of berating comments and a few paper airplanes to the back of her head, she decided it was only worth it to be her true authentic self. perhaps that’s why the majority of her nights she spent with the house elves in the kitchen when she wasn’t sneaking into her friends’ common rooms. 

on this particular night when y/n found herself mindlessly wandering towards the kitchens, she couldn’t help but feel as if she was being followed by something, or someone. her head darted around her in search of any trailing professors or watchful prefects, but none came to sight. y/n shrugged the feeling off, writing it off as her own paranoia. she took one final look around the corridor before disappearing through the kitchen doors. 

the kitchen was bustling with an immense amount of house elves, all chatting amongst themselves as they began preparations for tomorrow’s breakfast. their heads all snapped towards the door as y/n entered, smiles stringing along their little faces as she entered. she couldn’t help but smile back as she made her way over to them.

“oh, miss y/l/n! how lovely it is for you to be here,” one elf, winky, spoke, her smile wide as y/n walked over to her. y/n couldn’t help but smile softly but sympathetically at the house elves beaming up at her.

“please, i insist you call me y/n. miss y/l/n is much too formal,” y/n spoke. the house elves all looked at her as if she was mad, their eyes darting from her to each other.

“professor dumbledore insists we call masters as miss or mister, miss,” dobby piped up hesitantly. y/n smiled fondly at the little house elf; she always had a soft spot for dobby, he was always much too kind and wise for his own good.

“and professor dumbledore may be right, but i am not your master. i am your friend.” her words caused dobby to smile widely, his eyes near to tears as he let out some sound of excitement. y/n could only smile at them, their dispositions utterly heart-warming to the young girl. although their company was quite different from her interactions with her friends, she couldn’t help but be drawn to the house elves who only ever treated her with kindness even since her first year.

y/n followed the house elves around the kitchen as they spoke brightly about their breakfast plans for the following morning. their spirits seemed to peak with the young girl in the room. as the only company they ever had was each other and the occasional professor, they all took a liking to one of the only students who managed to learn all of their names and treat them with nothing but kindness.

as y/n listened intently as one of the house elves taught her how they make the morning bread, a small voice spoke up from behind her.

“quite nice, aren’t they?” the voice piped, making y/n spin around. her eyes met those of neville longbottom, someone who she had only had a few interactions with in their past few years at hogwarts. neville looked as sheepish as ever as he stood behind her, a small grin peaking from the corners of his lips as house elves greeted him softly. 

y/n couldn’t help but smile at neville. she had always taken a liking to his kind hearted disposition, even if he was incredibly shy. neville, much like her, felt as if he was sorted into the wrong house, never feeling as if he displayed the qualities of a typical gryffindor. unlike y/n, however, neville didn’t have to deal with the cold remarks of his demeanor from his fellow housemates. still, y/n couldn’t help but feel drawn to the young boy, and found his bashfulness quite cute.

“they are. i thought i was the only one who came down here,” y/n spoke truthfully. 

“i come down here when i can. i like their company,” neville stated, his cheeks growing a slight shade of pink. y/n smiled brightly at the boy who appeared to have the same interests as her. she turned back towards the house elf, asking if she could continue to show her and neville how the bread was made. neville hesitantly stepped next to y/n, his shoulders slightly tense from nervousness, but he was still as happy as ever.

after that night in the kitchens, neville and y/n spent much of their time with one another. they attempted to make their trips to the kitchen twice a week to talk to the house elves, but outside of the basement, y/n and neville were often found in the greenhouse or the library.

as their friendship grew, y/n couldn’t help but notice more things about neville that she found absolutely captivating. most times when they were in the greenhouse, y/n would let neville talk for hours about the history of herbology and the properties of every plant he laid his eyes on. other nights, neville would watch in awe as y/n rambled about a variety of magical creatures that she took care of beside hagrid. 

neville couldn’t lie; the more time he spent with y/n, the more enamored he became by her. he loved the way she actually sat and listened to his rambling, and even encouraged him to tell her more when he apologized for talking for so long. he was absolutely infatuated with her kindness and intellect, and even grew the courage to ask her for help in his classes. not that he didn’t excel in his classes, but neville really looked for any reason to spend more time with her.

in the same way, y/n found neville absolutely captivating. the more he opened up to her, the more she took a liking to him. he was quite funny when he was comfortable with someone, feeling as if he could actually joke around and even throw slightly sarcastic comments towards y/n. many things about neville took y/n by surprise, and the more she learned of his quirks and habits, the more her feelings developed.

she couldn’t bring herself to tell him that, however. although she wasn’t of the same mindset and attitude as other slytherins, she still knew that she was sorted amongst them. despite how close her and neville became, she couldn’t help but doubt the idea of their friendship turning into anything more. y/n figured that neville wouldn’t want to romantically pursue anything with a slytherin, after all. 

or, so she thought.

y/n wandered around the corridors during her free period, her destination intent on being the library. as she turned the corner, her body collided suddenly with another, causing y/n to drop the books in her arms and let out an audible grunt as she smacked into the opposing body. 

y/n bent down to pick up her books, her mouth already spilling profuse apologies as she kept her eyes trained on the books spread across her feet. 

“watch where you’re going blood traitor,” the voice spat down at y/n, causing her to tense up immediately. of course, the one person she had to run into was someone from her own house. just my luck, she thought.

y/n scrambled to gather the remainder of her books, her eyes still trained on the space between them as a hue of embarrassment spread across her features.

“sorry, marcus,” y/n mumbled, ready to rush past him and towards the library before he scoffed audibly, gripping onto y/n’s passing arm and spinning her to face him. y/n grimaced at the feeling of his hand on her arm, attempting to pry herself out of his grip, but he was persistent.

“where do you think you’re going, y/l/n? off to see your boyfriend, longbottom?” marcus asked, his smirk dark and taunting. y/n gulped in nervousness, finally ripping her arm out of his tight grasp.

“he’s not my boyfriend, flint. besides, what’s it to you?” y/n asked, growing incredibly angered at flint’s taunting. she wasn’t a stranger to the loathsome things the slytherins said about neville; she found it absolutely repulsive, really. while no one had ever said anything to her about her friendship with neville, the word around the castle made her stomach twist in frustration. 

“just thought you couldn’t stoop any lower. guess i was wrong,” marcus egged her on, his wicked smirk still splaying across his face. y/n’s brows furrowed towards him, her grip around the binding of her books tightening intensely as marcus spoke.

“enough, flint. fix your teeth before you try speaking badly upon others.” y/n didn’t know where this sudden burst of confidence came from to speak out against her housemates, but the bottled-up anger became too much for her to suppress. while she could normally handle the harsh commentary about her own disposition, she wasn’t one to let others speak badly upon her friends’ names. 

marcus, however, was not a fan of her words. the smirk dropped from his face, anger washing over his features as he took a step closer to y/n.

“watch your mouth, y/l/n. don’t forget i know where you sleep at night,” flint threatened. normally, y/n would immediately cower away, making him believe he won. but right now, years of suppressed anger was threatening to bubble from her lips; she wasn’t going to back down now.

“you’re pathetic to sit here and berate a girl who has been nothing but kind to you for the past five years. maybe if you put the same passion for me into your team, you guys could actually win a match,” y/n retorted, a fake pout stringing across her face to mock him. marcus seemed to boil at this comment, his fists tightening at his sides. y/n swore that she could nearly see the steam coming out of his ears.

“i’ll make you regret those words, blood-traitor. how about you go run off to your pathetic excuse of a boyfriend? salazar knows what you see in him; he resembles the toad he lost first ye-” 

marcus’ words were caught off abruptly by y/n’s hand sharply connecting with his cheek, the palm of her hand leaving a stinging red mark on his skin. y/n’s eyes widened suddenly when the pulsing redness settled into her hand and she stared at marcus who was doubled-over slightly to the side, caressing his cheek in his hand.

“you aren’t a quarter of the man neville is. any girl would be lucky to be with him. now piss off, flint,” y/n spat viciously.

she expected the worst. she expected a ferocious stinging slap of her own to reside on her cheek, any long-term hex settling into her skin, or merlin forbid, even an unforgivable curse to be thrown haphazardly at her. she winced slightly, tensing her shoulders to prepare for marcus’ next move.

instead, though, he stalked off. turning on his heel abruptly, he strode tensely down the corridor, muttering something unintelligible as he rounded the corner. y/n let out a shaky breath as he disappeared from her line of sight, her shoulders relaxing into her stance.

“y/n!” y/n spun around suddenly, her eyes immediately meeting neville’s who was rounding the nearest corner. she looked rather sheepish as she stood in front of him, her palm still tender and her face still slightly flushed from the argument that ensued not even five minutes prior.

before y/n could even properly greet him, he spoke again. “i heard what you said... to marcus, i mean.”

her eyes widened at his words, an even deeper shade of red settling into her skin. she opened her mouth to speak, stumbling over how to start her sentence as thoughts filled her mind.

“i-i mean it’s true. i meant every... every single word,” y/n finally tut out, a small smile spreading across her cheeks. she couldn’t deny any longer that she fancied neville; perhaps it was her ambition that finally pushed her to act on her feelings.

a wide smile spread across neville’s face as his eyes darted around y/n’s frame, becoming increasingly more flustered from her kind words and even kinder smile. 

“neville, i fancy you. and if you don’t feel the same way, that’s okay but i needed to-”

y/n was suddenly engulfed in neville’s embrace, his warmth enveloping her in his arms as he wrapped himself entirely around her. y/n was slightly caught off-guard, but quickly softened at his touch, melting in his embrace and wrapping her arms around his torso.

“of course i fancy you too, y/n. i’d be crazy not to,” neville spoke, laughing lightly in between a few of his words. y/n smiled widely with her face buried in his chest, her heart fluttering with excitement at his words. 

she looked up at neville as their arms were still wrapped around each other. smiles tugged at the corners of their lips, hearts beating rapidly out of their chests as they stared at each other in awe. 

“can i kiss you?” neville asked timidly, making y/n smile even wider at his constant need to be a gentleman. it was just one of the many things she absolutely adored about him.

“i’d thought you’d never ask.”

[fettsvette]

Heat

Boba Fett takes you on a faraway hunt that involves a prolonged journey through hyperspace. You’re horny as fuck, but your man is too preoccupied with running a tight ship to pay you any mind - until things get a little too desperate.

Pairing: Boba Fett x Reader Words: 3.0k Rating: Explicit Warnings: Edgeplay, teasing, rough penetration

Can be found on Archive of Our Own here.

Mando’a terminology

  ad’ika - little one

cyare - beloved

  mesh’la - beautiful

  -

  Another whine. 

  Another stomp of a boot. 

  Still no relief in sight. 

  You could be dying, and he wouldn’t even look at you. 

  “You need to settle down, ad’ika . I don’t have time for this right now.” Boba Fett warned sternly, his helmet just barely twitching to the side to regard you as you paced the cockpit, your footfalls having become increasingly louder and more obnoxious as time dragged on.

  The journey through hyperspace had lasted several hours already, and it was projected to go on for many more; and that’s if your flight plan continued on ahead of schedule. Why exactly Boba had felt the need to pursue a job all the way out in Wild Space, you had no idea. It was an average bounty, one that you frankly considered beneath his talents, but perhaps that was why he determined it had been safe enough to bring you along for the ride for once. Not that you really saw the point in your presence anyway; the thought of going on an adventure with your beau had thrilled you at first, thinking that the days would be filled with exploring strange, distant worlds together, the nights consisting of passionate lovemaking for hours on end. Instead, what you were getting was a whole lot of sitting around, staring out the viewport at the blue and white streaks of stars passing you by. The prospect of traveling at lightspeed had seemed exciting, but you truly hadn’t realized just how boring it actually was until you were stuck in the middle of it.

  Especially when the man you were on this sojourn with was much too preoccupied with fine-tuning every gadget and system aboard his prized transport, obsessively tracking the ship’s progress across the galaxy, rather than keeping his cyar’ika entertained.

  You couldn’t recall the amount of times your lover had told you to sit down, to be quiet, to climb up to your shared sleeping quarters behind the cockpit and take a nap to pass the time. He’d even threatened to lock you in one of the cages reserved for his hard merchandise down in the cargo hold until the Slave I reached its destination, but swiftly backpedaled when you expressed a little too much excitement at the idea. 

  You were desperate for Boba Fett’s touch, for his hand on your thigh, his lips on your neck, his thigh in between your knees, something - and he was purposefully ignoring you. No, he wasn’t just ignoring you… he was torturing you.

  It’d been days since Boba had touched you. He wasn’t even coming to bed with you, as far as you knew - when you’d retire for the night, he’d still be sitting in his pilot’s chair, motionless saved for his gloved hands running across the Slave I ’s dashboard, occasionally pressing a button or typing in some incomprehensible command. You’d wait up as long as your body allowed for the feeling of Boba sliding into the cot next to you, a well-muscled arm encircling your waist, his bare chest against your back, the outline of his thick cock pressed against your ass, but it never came. You’d arise hours later and descend the ladder to find him in the same spot you’d left him, or tinkering about down in the cargo hold, polishing one of his many blasters.

  The sight of him running a dirty, oiled cloth over the stock of the EE-3 model that had become his personal calling card, the blaster grease coating his rough hands, was enough to drive you wild, make you wish he was dragging the fabric back and forth between your legs instead. Hell, everything he did nowadays made you horny, from palming the thrusters in the cockpit upon exiting or entering lightspeed - ‘the only thruster he should be palming is this one right here,’ you found yourself thinking more often than not - to just seeing those large, powerful hands of his anywhere near the hard expanse of his thighs.

  You didn’t just feel aroused, or even simply sexually frustrated - you felt as if you were in heat , like some kind of debased animal left to rut against its master’s leg until it’s been kicked away. You wanted nothing more than to climb up on the console in front of the pilot’s seat and ruck your panties to the side, spreading your legs wide so he could see just how soaked you were for him, beg him to fuck you - or at the very least, bring you to some sort of release with a calloused finger or that deft tongue of his. You’d refrained from pleasuring yourself for the entirety of the trip so far solely so you’d be more than ready for him when he finally decided to claim you, but now you doubted if that time was ever coming. 

  “Boba, please. I’m suffering over here, and you’re just sitting there -” You began again in a high-pitched whine, not caring just how pathetic and needy you must sound. You could have begun weeping in frustration right then and there, had actually considered dropping to your knees in front of your lover, groveling at his boots for even just one touch. The ache between your legs was becoming more and more unbearable with the passing of each Standard Time Unit, to the point where sometimes you felt as if you were going to cum in your pants solely from walking around too much or positioning yourself in a chair a certain way, bringing yourself to a release from pent-up friction alone.

  But it was your accusation of Boba just sitting there that finally elicited a response, after days of being brushed off and outright ignored. His head jerked up with almost blinding speed, and he swiveled the pilot’s chair around to face you, his visor cocked to one side. His large hands gripped his knees tightly, his knuckles standing out sharply against the black leather of his gloves, his legs wide open. His cock was buried beneath several layers of the heavy black fabric that constituted his kama , but you swore you could still make out an impressive bulge nestled there in the lighting, and your mouth watered eagerly at the thought of him finally allowing you to take him in your mouth after so long, to feel his deliciously veiny member seated between your cunt lips.

  “I’m not ‘just sitting here .’ This ship is like an extension of myself. It’s as important to me as you are. I don’t expect you to understand that, but I need you to respect it. Hyperspace can be very unstable. Our coordinates and support systems need to be constantly monitored if we’re to spend this long a time at lightspeed, but now I see comprehending that is beyond your capabilities. Perhaps bringing you with me was a mistake, if you’re going to carry on like a selfish little brat for the remainder of our journey.” Boba retorted gruffly, shaking his head as if just speaking to you sickened him. His words felt like a slap across the face, and the corners of your eyes prickled harshly.

  You felt tears trickling silently down your cheeks, your face flushed hotly with the shame of not only being reprimanded by the man you loved, but the fact that despite his harshness towards you, you were fucking wet . You could feel the sticky warmth of your own arousal trickling out from between your inner lips and gathering in the cradle of your panties, soaking the thin fabric through. The fact that this man could berate you, insult you, and still you wanted nothing more than to throw yourself at him, beg his forgiveness, impale yourself on his girth over and over again until he filled you with his seed, was making you even hornier than you thought possible. Boba Fett had complete domination over every aspect of you, and it turned you on more than you could ever admit.

  “Boba… please . I’m sorry, I just… I need you so fucking bad.” You choked out, your voice nasally and piteous through your tears, your knees slightly buckling inwards in a half-assed attempt to stop the flow of wetness drooling out from your core. Boba gave a low hum and reclined back in his chair, his legs outspread even wider as he repositioned himself against the leather backing, seeming cruelly satisfied with the state he’d left you in.

  “Look at you. Are you actually weeping because you want my cock that badly?” Boba clucked his tongue disgustedly, but you could have sworn that he almost sounded in awe despite his tone. Your eyes flickered downwards when you noticed a slight movement of his hand, just in time to see him briefly squeeze at his obscured length, and you let out a throaty moan despite yourself. With a thinly veiled snort of amusement, Boba gestured in the general direction of your bowed, shaking legs, then raised his palm upwards, calling you forward with a quick movement of his fingers.

  “Take those off and get over here, girl.”

  You’d never shucked off your boots so fast in your life. You didn’t even bother untying the laces, hurriedly hopping from one foot to the next, pulling your feet from the restricting, clunky material in order to wiggle out of your pants and underwear as quickly as you could, panting and whining high in your throat in your excitement. You flung the garments off to the side, almost stumbling in your rush to get to Boba, and immediately reached out to grope for the seam of his trousers, beside yourself in your urge to free his heavy cock from its cloth prison. You were blocked by a firm, warm hand pressed flush against your chest, blunt fingers pressed into your breast and holding you back. Boba was chuckling at your need, a rumble that emanated from deep in his chest. The sound always went straight to your pussy whenever you heard it, so rough and sultry, and your clit throbbed.

  “Oh no , sweet thing. Don’t think your tears are going to get you exactly what you want. Like I said, I’m busy. If you’re that desperate to get some relief, you’ll have to work for it yourself. I’m not going to help you.” The sick glee in the bounty hunter’s voice was evident, and he aggressively patted his meaty thigh in order to show you exactly what he meant, when he’d offered to finally let you have what you desired. Boba made no move to get up or further adjust his stance, holding his palm open and again broadly gesturing to his outstretched leg, as if grandly offering you the best seat in the house in a Coruscanti opera. From the way your cunt was fluttering helplessly though, it may as well have been your throne .

  Shuffling forward and squatting daintily, you gingerly settled yourself onto the muscular sweep of Boba’s thigh beneath you, hissing sharply as the rough cloth pressed into the sensitive nub of your clit, wiggling the cradle of your pelvis back and forth experimentally to gauge what felt best. Boba gave no notice of your ministrations, he wasn’t even looking at you, and you glanced up to see that he had actually gone back to fiddling with the console of the Slave I as if you weren’t even there, as if your cunt juices weren’t currently soaking through the heavy fabric of his pants.

  And so you began to move.

  Gently at first, you writhed your pussy every which way in order to discover some semblance of balance, letting out pleased whimpers as your body gradually warmed to the sensation of your folds dragging along the black flight suit. Boba’s arms were outstretched on either side of you and you could hear him pressing buttons and occasionally typing in commands, completely ignoring the fact that you were currently rutting on his leg like an akk dog during mating season. His body betrayed his supposed indifference, though - with every thrust of your hips, your knee bumped his groin and you tellingly felt the generous erection sitting there, warm and heavy and hard. You attempted to reach out and grasp it, stroke him through his pants in time with the grinding of your cunt, but Boba batted your hand away as if you were a child being reprimanded for touching a hot nanowave stove.

  You continued to knead Boba’s thigh with your pussy, undulating your heat in stuttering figure-eight motions, a familiar tightness beginning to build in your lower belly, the scrape of the material against your swollen clit becoming overwhelming all too soon for your liking. Underneath your own needy whines as the sensation continued towards its crescendo, you could hear Boba groaning from somewhere deep in his chest despite his best efforts to ignore you and your lewd ministrations in his lap. 

  Your orgasm hit unexpectedly, triggered by an accidental bump of the edge of his thick leather belt to the hood of your clit, and you let out a guttural moan that sounded more animal than human. Days of pent-up release crested over you like the sand waves of Tatooine’s Dune Sea, over and over again, and your thighs trembled around Boba’s leg as your muscles clenched him. Your lover groaned appreciatively above you, one of the few signs he’d given to show that he was paying attention to your movements. You knew he could feel the flood of wetness from between your legs soaking into his flight suit, possibly through to his bare skin beneath, and that thought alone prompted another volley of spasms to your clit until you were utterly spent.

  Your breath came in harsh, almost painful pants, your legs shaking violently as you continued to hold yourself up, your bare toes biting into the durasteel floor of the Slave I beneath you. Boba sighed contentedly above you, the underside of his helmet nipping at the crown of your hair, one strong arm finally looped around your back, bracing you against his chest. You collapsed forward on the reassuring coolness of his breastplate, laying your sweaty cheek against the cold beskar as you shivered through the aftershocks of your orgasm. The relief you felt, after so long, was indescribable. You could have fallen asleep there in that moment, nude from the waist down, straddling Boba Fett’s thigh in the cockpit of his ship, drowsy on the rush of endorphins still flooding through your body. In your relaxed state, it took you a moment to realize that Boba had begun speaking, and you cracked an eye open as the gravity of his words hit you.

  “Kriff, you’re so wet, so beautiful for me. Are you ready, cyare?” He cooed sweetly, and before you could even question what you were ready for, Boba pushed you upwards slightly with his legs and his hold on you momentarily faltered, the sound of fabric being shuffled about filling the room. You then knew what he was up to and began hyperventilating in anticipation, wiggling your bottom as the Mandalorian worked himself into position beneath you.

  Boba pushed inside of you roughly, and you let out a choked scream, biting down on the swaths of black material circling his throat. Even though you had already cum, had been constantly horny for days, you still weren’t prepared for the sudden intrusion of Boba’s girth into your cunt, your walls spasming around him violently, the sensations too much for your overstimulated body to handle. Boba shushed you softly as you let out several overwhelmed sobs at the burning, stinging presence inside of you. You could feel the blunt head of him pressing against your cervix, an almost unbearable sharpness that you craved despite the discomfort. You knew you’d be able to feel him there for days after, and a pleasant shudder wracked your body.

  “Easy there, little one, easy . I’ve got you. Just stay still, mesh’la .” Boba attempted to shush you, patting your back and readjusting his hold on you as you squirmed and gasped in his arms, but you couldn’t stay still if you tried. You attempted to push your hips against his, get some semblance of a rhythm going, but Boba tsk ed, the light pressure he’d had on your waist becoming an iron grip, almost to the point of pain, and you stilled your movements, whining in protest.

  “Boba, please … I need to move …” You begged plaintively, tears once again springing to your eyes The laugh you received in response was almost sadistic in sound, and you moaned out of a raw mixture of pain and pleasure when Boba gave a slight roll of his hips, the head of his cock scraping your cervix. When he spoke, his tone was almost delightfully evil, and it made you shudder under his hold.

  “Oh no , sweet one. You’ve been such an annoyance to me for the entirety of our journey, and as I said before… I’m busy, and after the way you’ve behaved, I’m not going to let you get what you want that easily. Letting you get yourself off on my thigh was just a tease.” His gloved fingers lazily crawled over your exposed clit, and you hissed at the brief contact, before it was excruciatingly pulled away, Fett’s hand reaching back up to the Slave ’s console again.

  “You’re going to sit here on my cock until our next jump point, understand? Nice and quiet, now. If you try to push yourself down on me or wiggle around like a little brat, you’ll be banished to our sleeping quarters until we land, or until you learn to behave like someone your age. Is that clear, cyare?” His voice was sickly sweet, menacing, low and raspy in his throat. You could tell by that alone just how turned on he was, and his length twitched inside of you.

  Without waiting for a verbal answer, Boba gave another painfully slow roll of his hips, igniting that fire within your belly once more, and you groaned aloud in reply, burying your face in the dark cloth protecting his neck, choosing to ignore the dark chuckle. He could be so unfair, so karking cruel at times, but you always found yourself coming back for more… and you had a feeling he had no idea how much you were actually enjoying this.

  It was going to be a long trip.