#but i watched it a couple of years ago and i loved it

[mimiiiiiiiiisstuff]

"Here"

Ok yall I'm back with chapter 7!! Hopefully this posts bc it wasn't working yesterday. Sorry if it's confusing, I rewrote it like 5 times! I tried not to use {y/n} but i mightve slipped up! Hope ya'll enjoy!! The plot is finally moving!! Lmk if you have any questions. Likes, reblogs, and asks motivate me! I love when yall send me your ideas and comments and asks! Wish me luck, I'm posting this and then taking my math exam! If you don't like it, don't read, stop sending mean asks and submissions!

Breakfast the next morning was horrible.

The awkward silence lingered, thick with unspoken words and eyes that felt like they were scanning every inch of you. You could feel their weight on your back, like a thousand invisible hands pushing you deeper into your seat, forcing you to stay in this uncomfortable moment.

You could already feel the heat rising in your chest, but you bit your lip, forcing yourself to take a deep breath. You weren’t going to lose your cool—not yet.

Damian’s gaze was fixed on you, like he was waiting for some kind of reaction, his lips pressed into a thin line. You knew what he was expecting: compliance. Submission. He expected you to shrink back under his scrutiny. And yet, there was something oddly satisfying about not giving him that satisfaction.

Instead, you focused on the plate in front of you, stabbing your fork into the pancakes with far too much force. You were still hungry, but the food felt like cardboard in your mouth, tasteless and dry, even though Alfred’s cooking was always the best.

Bruce was still watching you, his eyes heavy with a kind of expectant patience, like he was just waiting for you to crack. You could feel the tension in the room like a ticking clock, the seconds stretching longer than you’d ever thought possible.

"Why are you all staring at me?" you finally muttered, breaking the silence, your voice low but biting. You didn't look up from your plate, but you could feel the eyes on you. They all thought they could break you. They thought you were some fragile little thing, someone they could fix with their pity and their "family time." But you weren’t. You’d stopped being that person a long time ago.

Dick was the first to speak, his voice softer than usual, like he was trying to tread lightly around you. “We’re just trying to connect, I know it’s been a long time, and things got… complicated, but we don’t want to lose you again. Not after all this time.”

His words weren’t as comforting as he probably thought they were. In fact, they made your skin crawl. He was trying to be kind, but it felt forced, like he was reading from a script. You didn’t need this. Not from him, not from any of them. You wanted them to stop pretending like they could fix everything with a few hugs, a couple of "we missed you"s.

“I didn’t ask for this,” you said quietly, your voice almost a whisper, but it carried a weight. “I didn’t ask to be here. And I didn’t ask to be part of this family anymore.”

Bruce’s jaw tightened at your words, but he didn’t say anything at first. You could feel the flicker of something in his expression—guilt, maybe. Regret. He was looking at you, like he was trying to see the person you used to be. The person you had been before everything fell apart.

You weren’t that person anymore. And he needed to understand that.

“You don’t get to decide that,” Damian suddenly said, his voice a little too sharp. “You can’t just shut us out like this. You’re still a part of this family. Whether you like it or not.”

Your eyes shot up to meet his. " I can shut you all out, I can do whatever I want” you snapped, the frustration leaking through. “You’ve done it to me for years.”

Dick’s brow furrowed, his lips pulling into a frown. For a second, he looked genuinely taken aback by your words, “You don’t understand,” he said, his tone quieter but still laced with an edge. “We didn’t abandon you. Not on purpose. You think we didn’t care? You just never seemed to need help.”

You could feel the sting of his words, but you pushed it down, locking it away. You weren’t going to break. Not for him. Not for any of them. Of course you never needed help, you were too busy trying to be perfect.

“I was just a kid,” you replied, your voice a little rawer, louder than you intended. “And I was ignored by the people who were supposed to be there for me. So fuck you and fuck your family time too.”

There was a long pause, everyone looked around in shock, not expecting you to be so combatant and then Jason finally spoke up, his tone softer than usual, less teasing. “We’re trying, okay? I'm trying. We’re not perfect, and I’m not asking you to just forget everything. But we want to try. Let us try.”

You shot him a look, your eyes narrowing. “Trying isn’t good enough,” you muttered, your voice tight. “Not when it’s years too late. I don't want scraps of love anymore, not when i've had the real deal.”

Everyone seemed to quiet at the last part of your statement, suspicious of what it meant and from who you received "love" from. What convinced you that you didn't need them anymore?

“Then what do you want?” Tim interjected, his voice suddenly sharper, more direct than before. “What do you want from us? We’re here, and we’re trying to make it right. But you’ve got to meet us halfway.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to tell them that nothing would ever be good enough, that the damage was already done. But you didn’t. Instead, you just stared at Tim, meeting his eyes with a challenge of your own. You didn’t owe them answers. Not anymore.

“I don’t know,” you said finally, your voice quieter now, almost defeated. “I don’t know what I want.”

It was the truth. You didn’t know what you wanted. You didn’t know if there was anything they could do to fix things. But one thing was certain: you didn’t want to stay in this mansion, suffocated by their expectations. You didn’t want to play along with their idea of a happy family.

Before anyone could respond, you stood up abruptly, pushing your chair back with a loud scrape against the floor.

“Don’t worry about me,” you said, turning on your heel. “I’ll figure it out on my own. I always have.”

You heard Duke’s soft voice in the background, calling after you, but you didn’t stop. You just walked out of the dining room, your heart pounding in your chest as you made your way toward the staircase.

As you climbed the stairs, you could feel their eyes on your back, the weight of their presence pressing down on you, but you didn’t care anymore. You didn’t care if they watched. You didn’t care if they were disappointed. You just wanted to be alone.

That day, you stayed in bed. You ignored every knock on your door, every phone call, every beg and plead to come down and eat. You just wanted to be alone.

You woke up to the quiet hum of the manor, but it was far from peaceful. The silence was suffocating, a constant reminder that there was no escaping them—not now. You tried to pretend the night before hadn’t happened, that their constant attention wasn’t as overwhelming as it was, that you were going back to New York soon. Unfortunately, fantasies don't become realities, especially when reality is chasing them down.

Every one of them was here, waiting. Watching.

Bruce stood near the staircase, his presence larger than life. His eyes lingered on you as if he expected something. You weren’t sure what. Maybe gratitude, maybe obedience. He said nothing, just watched you with that expression of silent insistence.

“Good morning,” he said in that deep, calm voice of his, but there was something off about it. There was a layer of expectation beneath his words, like he was waiting for something from you.

You ignored him, brushing past him without a second glance. You didn’t want to engage, didn’t want to pretend like everything was okay. But it didn’t matter. They were all around you now, slowly closing in.

Tim was the next to corner you. You could feel his calculating eyes on you the moment you stepped into the kitchen. He had a cup of coffee in hand, but his focus was on you. Just you.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, the question seemingly casual but the undertone too sharp, too analytical. It wasn’t just a question, it was a probe, a way for him to gauge how much control he had over you.

You rolled your eyes, reaching for the fridge to grab something that could distract you, something that could make the reality of this house feel a little less like a cage. But the moment your hand touched the door, he was there, standing far too close, watching you, almost breathing down your neck.

“You know,” Tim said, his voice low, “we can talk today. If you want. We need to keep your abilities in check, make sure you’re safe, protected. ” His tone lingered on that last word, like he was reminding you that you were under his watch now.

You hated how calmly he said it. It made your skin crawl.

Steph was next, adding onto what Tim said with her stupid signature smile, "He's right y'know. It's dangerous out there. For you especially."

You ignored them both. Payback for their years of negligence.

Tim just stood there for a moment, his eyes scanning your face. “Fine, be like that,” he muttered, before walking away, but you knew he wasn’t done. He never was.

And then there was Dick. His usual cheerful demeanor didn’t falter as he breezed into the room, but it was too cheerful, too bright. He was pushing something, forcing something, like he was trying to manufacture happiness out of thin air, trying to remind you of who you were, who you used to be.

“Hey! How about we do something today?” he said, his voice far too eager. “We could go out and grab coffee, breakfast, anything. I know you’re probably not feeling it, but you need to get out of this house for a bit.”

You wanted tear him apart for thinking you could just “forget” everything and fall back into some comfortable, happy routine. But you didn’t. Instead, you just nodded stiffly, walking past him without acknowledging his words.

“Come on,” he tried again, following you, “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“Just drop it, Dick,” you said, your voice like ice. “I’m not going anywhere. Ya'll made that pretty clear.”

His face faltered for just a moment before he plastered that damn grin back on. But you saw it, the frustration and determination behind his eyes. He wasn’t going to stop. None of them were.

Jason leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, watching the scene unfold with a smirk you couldn’t quite decipher. “Ah, the princess finally comes out her tower,” he teased. “What? Got tired of throwing shit around in there?"

You narrowed your eyes, feeling the heat in your chest rise. Jason always had a way of pissing you off with his words, making everything seem like a joke, but you knew there was something darker underneath. He wanted to get a rise out of you, he craved it. He wanted you to go back to being his annoying little sister with anger issues.

“Shut up, Jason,” you muttered, turning away from him, not caring that you weren’t hiding your anger anymore. “I’m not in the mood for your bullshit today.”

Jason just laughed, but there was a hint of something softer there, something that felt almost... like concern, buried beneath the sarcasm.

“Stop,” you snapped, but before you could escape, Damian stepped in.

Damian was the most direct, the most unforgiving in his attempts to bond. He stepped into your path without hesitation, his posture rigid and eyes narrowed, as if daring you to push him away.

“You don’t get it, do you?” he said, his voice low, yet intense. “You think you’re some rebellious teenager trying to escape, but you’re not. You don’t get a choice in this.” His words weren’t harsh, they were final, like he had already decided your fate. And you were staying here, whether you liked it or not.

“You’re wrong,” you spat, your voice venomous. "I don’t need you.”

Damian tilted his head slightly, an unsettling calm settling over him. “You’ll need us eventually. Whether you want to or not. And you'll be grateful we never let you go.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, but you didn’t let him see it. Not yet. His audacity was insane. To think that you'd be thankful for being trapped in Gotham. Never.

As you tried to walk past him, you collided with Cass, who was standing silently behind you, her eyes filled with that knowing, unspoken concern. She's so creepy. She didn’t say a word but you could feel her presence, like a weight pressing down on you.

Cass placed a hand gently on your arm, her touch barely more than a whisper, but it was enough to make you freeze.

Why are they acting like this? What changed these two weeks?

"You’re safe here," she said quietly, her words cutting through the tension in a way that made your skin crawl. It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a command.

You pulled away sharply, nearly punching her, your fists clenched at your sides. “I'm not happy.” you said, more to yourself than to her.

But she didn’t respond. Of course she didn’t. Her eyes just followed you, and that was worse than any words.

Barbara was close by, but she didn’t need to be loud. She never did. She had this way of talking in soft tones that made everything sound so reasonable. So loving.

“You don’t have to keep shutting us out,” she said gently. “You can talk to us. We just want to make sure you’re okay. All of us. We care about you.”

You felt the weight of her words crash down on you, suffocating you with their sweetness, with their hidden demands. Care. It was just another word for control, for keeping you locked in their world, locked in their gaze. If they cared, they would let you be happy in New York.

“Just stop,” you whispered, more to yourself than to her. “Just... stop.”

You sat in your room for hours again, ignoring everyone.

Bruce had spent the last few days carefully watching you, keeping his distance just enough to make you think you had some semblance of freedom, but now he was ready to step in, to claim his role as your father.

He had promised himself when you left for France, he would make it right. That he would make up for everything he had missed, for every moment he had abandoned you for the greater good of Gotham. But now, as the silence stretched between you two, he was determined to close that distance.

You had just returned to your room after another breakfast you didn’t want to be part of when you heard the knock.

It was Bruce.

“You’re not busy, are you?” he asked, his voice almost too warm, too hopeful.

You shot him a glance, wondering if he truly thought this would work. After everything that had happened, after all the times he had failed you, he still thought a few “father-daughter” moments could make things better.

"I guess not," you replied flatly, stepping aside to let him in, your mind already racing with how to get through whatever this was going to be.

The moment he entered, Bruce seemed to settle, as though he had a plan in mind, one he was eager to execute.

“Good,” he said, looking around the room, his eyes scanning for something, maybe an opportunity. Then, he turned back to you, hands clasped behind his back. “I thought today, we could spend some time together. Just us. It’s been a while since we’ve done something like this, hasn’t it? School starts soon and you'll get busy, you won't have time for me anymore.”

He was trying to joke around.

School. More like prison. The more he mentioned school, the angrier you got. You'd never done something like this. He did it with all his other kids though, with Tiffany. As you thought of her, all ideas of being nice to Bruce, of trying to bond with your father, flew out the window.

The words felt like a slap, and you couldn’t keep the bite from your tone. “Is that what you think this is? Quality time? You really think we’re just gonna pick up where we left off? Think you can change the past with brunch?”

Bruce’s eyes softened for a moment, his expression cracking, but only slightly. The guilt was there, unmistakable, but it didn’t erase the unspoken expectation behind his words. His voice became more gentle, more insistent.

“I know it’s not easy,” he said, his voice steady but laced with something else—something almost pleading, though he would never admit it. “But I want to make this right. You deserve this. You deserve... me. We can go out, maybe catch a movie, grab lunch, talk, whatever you want. I just want to be with you. Like you always talked about.”

You didn’t respond immediately. For a moment, you just stood there, frozen, as the weight of his words crashed over you. It was nice watching him beg for once. You had always wanted this. Wanted him. Wanted him to be a father, to care for you like he did the others. But that was before you tasted freedom, before you tried love.

Now, the idea of spending time with him felt like a betrayal to everything you had tried to protect: your own independence, your own space, your freedom. You didn’t want to be a part of his perfect little family anymore.

“No.” you muttered, unable to stop the anger from flooding your chest. “You really think that’s going to fix things? You think I just forgot what you did? Because i'm nice sometimes?”

Bruce didn’t flinch at your words, didn’t even show any sign of anger. Instead, he just stepped closer, his presence filling up the room, looming over you like an impenetrable wall. His tone remained patient, almost too controlled, like he was walking on eggshells.

“I know I can’t undo the past,” he said quietly, a trace of regret slipping through. “But I can be here for you now. I won’t make the same mistakes. I promise.”

A cold laugh escaped your lips. “You already have.”

You could feel your pulse quicken, the anger bubbling up inside you, but you pushed it back. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you break.

Bruce’s eyes softened even further, the guilt twisting in his expression, and for a moment, you saw something else there—desperation. As if he was begging you to let him in, to give him just one chance to prove he wasn’t the same person who had abandoned you for years.

“We could just sit and talk,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “No expectations. No agenda. Just us. I’m not trying to fix you or make everything perfect. I just want to spend time with my daughter.”

Something in you snapped at the mention of daughter. The word that had haunted you for years. The word that had felt like a lie every time he used it. You clenched your fists, struggling to keep your composure.

“No,” you said, your voice flat, cutting through the tension like a knife. “You don’t get it. I don’t want this anymore. I don't want you anymore.”

Bruce’s face faltered, just for a moment, before he recovered. But the hurt was there, tucked in the corners of his eyes. “I'm sorry. I hope you know that.”

You shook your head, not wanting to hear it anymore. The damage was done. He couldn’t erase it. No amount of “father-daughter time” was going to make you forget what it had been like when he wasn’t there for you.

“Stop,” you snapped, taking a step back. “Just stop. You don’t get to do this, Bruce. You don’t get to waltz in here and act like everything is fine. Like everything’s fixed. You’ve ruined it. All of it.”

Bruce opened his mouth, but no words came. You could see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle to understand where it had gone wrong.

“I’m just trying to make up for it,” he said quietly, but the sound of it made your stomach churn. The way his voice cracked slightly at the end of the sentence only made it worse.

And you hated yourself for feeling even a little guilty for saying no.

But no. You wouldn’t let him do this. Not again.

“I don’t want your apologies,” you spat, your tone sharp, venomous. “And I don’t want your ‘time.’ You don’t get to play the father now.”

Without waiting for a response, you turned on your heel and walked toward the door. You needed to escape. You needed space. You needed to breathe. You were leaving your own room to get away from him.

Bruce’s voice stopped you, and you felt the pull of his desperate plea in the back of your mind. His words clung to you, too heavy, too much. “I'll go, don't leave. This is your room. I just want you to know I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

You watched your father walk away, and only after he left did you fall to your bed and cry.

The next days before school were a blur. You spent them locked in your room, alternating between crying on the phone with Ariel, avoiding the family when you went down to sneak food to your room, trying to butter up Bruce and convince him to let you go back to boarding school, and online shopping.

Yet somehow Monday morning you were up at 5:30 getting into the shower.

The thought of returning to Gotham Prep made your stomach churn. How could you go back to a place where you had no true friends? A school where you’d been bullied by half your grade. Where Tim pretended you didn’t exist, Damian and Tiffany ridiculed you in front of everyone, and Duke ignored you like you were invisible. Where you ate lunch in the bathroom, alone and cried in the janitor's closet like a loser.

But you weren't the same girl who walked through those halls last year. No, this year was going to be different. You were different.

Last night, as you scrolled through Tik Tok, a new idea formed in your mind. You’d had enough of being invisible. It was time for a change.

You had a plan.

You found the bleach blonde hair dye in your bathroom, hidden away in the back of a drawer. You didn’t need permission, and you certainly didn’t need anyone to hold your hand.

By the time the dye had set and you’d rinsed it out, you felt like a new person. It was the kind of hair that would make people stop and stare.

You woke at 5:30 and hopped in the shower, you wanted to take your time getting ready. You plugged in your pink dyson and curled your new blonde hair, it would fall into a blow out later in the day, complaining about your family to Ariel and Claire. You spent the next two hours getting ready, perfecting your makeup. You’d learned to contour, learned to do your eyeliner just right, and became a bronzer girl over the summer. You grabbed your favorite Chanel palette and messily applied dark eyeshadow in smoky charcoal, blending seamlessly into the crease of your eyes and eyeliner. You smudged on a bold dark burgundy lipshine that drew attention. You weren’t trying to be anyone but yourself, your new self.

Then came the clothes.

You'd already shortened your Gotham Prep skirt by more than a few inches. It was below your knees and now it showed off the thighs you spent all summer tanning. You wanted to make a statement, and if they didn’t like it, that was their problem. The white blouse, originally oversized, was now form-fitting, you wanted it to give that one Bella Hadid picture. You left the top buttons undone, the tie hanging loosely around your neck in a deliberate, I-don’t-care gesture. You could feel the fabric clinging to your skin, reminding you of how much control you were regaining. You looked like the kind of girls you used to call whores last year.

You looked through your drawers for your signature jewelry you collected over the summer and during school. Big gold hoops on your ears, studs in all your other ear piercings, a tiffany heart necklace that rested on your exposed collar bone, and multiple bracelets stacked on each arm, jingling as you moved.

As you stood in front of the mirror, you smiled. You looked good.

Lastly you grabbed your Isabel Marant sneakers, chic and effortless, and slipped them on. They were expensive, but it wasn’t about the price—it was about the look. The vibe. Then, more than few spritzes of perfume. Something sharp, and not too sweet. You wanted to make a lasting impression, to turn heads as you walked.

By the time you were done, you felt invincible. The girl staring back at you was someone who didn’t care what anyone thought. You weren’t going to be bullied anymore. You were going to be the one who dictated the terms.

You walked out of your room, head held high, your heart pounding with anticipation.

Downstairs, the Batfamily was gathered at the breakfast table, doing their usual routine. They all stopped talking the second they saw you.

You’d barely stepped into the room when the heavy silence fell over the table. Bruce looked up, his expression instantly darkening. His lips pressed together in a thin line, his gaze flicking over your appearance.

“Is this what you're wearing?” His voice was tight, a hint of disapproval slipping into the words.

You gave him a look that said everything. “Is something wrong? I thought it was cute.” Your tone was soft, teasing, but with a bite underneath. You weren’t asking for his permission. You were daring him to say something.

Tim, who had been looking at his phone, blinked up at you with wide eyes. He’d been so engrossed in whatever he was reading that he didn’t even seem to know how to respond. His fingers hovered over his screen, unsure whether or not to comment.

“Are you seriously going to school looking like that?” His voice was tight, an edge of surprise and confusion beneath it.

You crossed your arms, leaning back in the doorway. “What? You don’t like it? Your friends might.” You knew how to unsettle him. That much you were sure of. You wanted to push his buttons, make him paranoid.

Dick was the next to react. He put down his coffee, glancing over at Bruce before looking back at you. “I get that you’re, you know, trying something new,” he began carefully, but the unease in his voice was clear. He was trying to be supportive, trying to understand, but it didn’t take much to see how disapproving he felt. “But—”

“But what, Dick?” you interrupted with a sudden change of attitude. “You don’t like it? That’s a shame. It's so crazy I literally never asked.”

His mouth opened, but no words came out. He simply shifted in his seat, uncomfortable.

Jason snorted, clearly not impressed. “You trying to turn heads or get yourself in trouble? Skirt's too short, change that shit.” His voice was low, but it had a sharpness to it now. His gaze scanned you from head to toe, his mouth curving into an almost imperceptible frown.

You weren’t fazed by his dismissive and angry attitude. If anything, it made you want to lean into it more. “I'm not changing, you want alonger skirt? You go put one on and come talk.” You shrugged nonchalantly, your tone saccharine sweet. "And I don't want trouble, but i don't mind it."

“Yeah, I can tell,” Jason drawled, eyeing the large hoops dangling from your ears. “Nice hoops. Real classy.” His lips twitched, mocking the exaggerated size of them. "I didn’t realize big was your thing now."

You smirked, reaching up to tug at one of the hoops, the gesture playful, but intending to piss him off. “Big boys like big things, Jason,” you replied smoothly, without missing a beat. “And you know what they say, the bigger the hoop, the bigger the....” You were quickly cut off before you could finish talking and ruining everyone's apittite.

Damian, ever the hater, set down his cereal with a dramatic flare, slamming it down and glared at you. “You look like you belong in a cheap nightclub, not Gotham Prep. Should we drop you off on the nearest corner?” His words were sharp, cutting—typical Damian, though you could hear the pure anger in his voice.

You chuckled softly, not phased in the slightest. You'd rather be at a cheap nightclub honestly. “I’m just bringing a little fun to Gotham, Damian. You should try it sometime, maybe then you wouldn't be so hateful all the time." Your tone was uninterested, like his insults weren't even worth your time.

Steph and Cass exchanged a look, both clearly unsure of how to react. Cass, as always, seemed more interested in watching you than engaging, while Steph’s gaze flickered between you and the rest of the family. Barbra was just staring at you in disbelief.

“Is it really that bad?” Steph finally asked, though her voice wasn’t quite as gentle as it could have been. There was a nervous edge to it. “I mean, you’re, uh, pulling it off…” She trailed off, clearly unsure how to proceed.

You ignored her, who cares what she thinks? Her and the rest of them are irrelevant. If you like it then so what. Her comment did make your lips twitch into a smile subconsciously though.

Alfred, who’d been quietly observing the exchange, cleared his throat before standing. “Miss, I must say, it’s a rather bold change. But perhaps not one that will be received well by the staff and teachers.” His words were polite, but you could hear the disapproval in the undertones.

You gave him a bright smile, not at all sorry. “I’ll take my chances, Alfred. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I've played this game before.”

Bruce, who had been seething quietly, finally stood up from the table. His usual calm demeanor was replaced with a tense frustration. “Go change. Now.”

You raised an eyebrow, your lips curving into a slow, deliberate smile. “Make me.”

There was a flicker of surprise in his eyes, then something else, something more. He clenched his fists for a moment, clearly fighting to maintain control. But you weren’t backing down. Not this time.

“I’m not going to let you walk out of here like that,” Bruce snapped.

You didn’t miss a beat. “You won't let me do anything. I go to school like this or I don't go at all. And since when do you care?” You crossed your arms and stuck your foot out, pouting like a child, staring him down waiting for him to surrender.

Bruce hesitated for a moment, his expression softening ever slightly. “Fine. But you’re pushing it. You're not going like this tomorrow.”

Bruce 0, You 1.

Jason, who had been watching the exchange with interest, chuckled. “You really know how to work him, don’t you?”

You flashed a smile at him, leaning back in your chair as you stood up and grabbed your bag, ready to leave the room. “Come on, let’s get out of here. We're already late. Jason, you driving?” Jason was the most fun, and he wasn't as nosy as Dick or Barbra.

Jason raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m driving us all today. Come on, let’s go before Dad starts pulling rank.”

With a dramatic sigh, Bruce reluctantly agreed, shooting a last, disapproving look at your outfit before turning toward the door.

The engine of Jason’s car hummed steadily, but the air inside was anything but calm. You had decided to make this ride your moment. If you were uncomfy, you'd make them all feel the same. The others in the car—Damian, Tim, and Duke—were bracing themselves for your usual attitude, though this time you could tell there was a noticeable edge to the tension.

Jason, who was driving, was trying his best to keep his eyes on the road, but you knew he was glaring at you through the rearview mirror. Damian was next to you in the backseat, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, like he was ready to throw down at any second. Tim sat on the other side, buried in his homework, something to do with Gotham Prep’s ever-pressing academic requirements. Nerd.

And Duke? Duke was the least bothered, but you were sure he was mentally rolling his eyes at you the moment you stepped into the car.

You were far too busy with your phone, flipping through TikTok videos and checking your DMs, but every so often, you’d glance at the boys just to see their reactions.

“So…” You leaned forward a little, propping your elbow on the middle console. Your voice was light, casual, but you could feel the energy shift around you. You knew this would get under Jason’s skin. “You think any of the boys at Gotham Prep will notice my glow up? ”

You heard a long, heavy sigh from the driver’s seat before Jason muttered, “She's in that phase huh,"

But you weren’t listening. You were too busy smirking at Tim, who barely looked up from his book. You could feel his eyes narrow, probably out of sheer annoyance. “I mean, it’s inevitable, right?” you continued. “I'm 16 now, I'm better looking. Is there any fresh meat since I left? Anyone interesting, new friends maybe??"

Jason was silent for a moment, but you could see the grip on the steering wheel tightening in his peripheral. He wasn’t going to let you get away with this.

"Listen," Jason said, his voice calm but with that sharp edge he always used when he was trying not to lose his temper. "I don’t want to hear about boys, okay? Not today, not ever."

You blinked dramatically, as if you were the one being attacked. “Oh, come on, Jason, don’t be such a buzzkill. I’m not doing anything. I just wanna know if anyone’s looking.” You reached forward and pressed the button to connect your phone to the car’s Bluetooth, your nails clicking loudly across the screen as you searched for the perfect song to add to the atmosphere.

You knew you were getting to him. Jason was always so serious when it came to boys, always so guarded, especially when it came to you. It was fun getting under his skin. He glanced over his shoulder at you, but you were already half-distracted by your phone.

“Relax, Jase,” you shot back, ignoring his glare. “I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just curious. It’s just—boys.”

You needed something to stop the ache that came with your new powers.

“Don’t make me pull this car over,” Jason threatened, his eyes flicking to the rearview mirror again.

You laughed softly, loving how easily you could provoke him. You leaned back in your seat, stretching out your legs, and noticed Damian watching you like he was deciding whether to strangle you with his own scarf.

“Damian, you’re so serious,” you sigh, you'd been ignoring him lately but you forgot how easy he is to provoke. “You know, you should loosen up. Boys are fun to look at, and to—” You cut yourself off before you could finish the sentence, letting the tension simmer.

Damian’s face twisted in that way he did when he was trying to pretend you didn’t bother him. “I don’t care what you do with boys,” he muttered. “But if you think I’m going to sit in this car while you talk about them like you’re some kind of—”

“Oh, no,” you interrupted with a teasing smile, “Not some kind of what? Some kind of what?” You stretched your legs a little further, drawing more attention to the hem of your skirt as you adjusted yourself in your seat. Making it even shorter now that Bruce wasn't here. You felt the eyes of your brothers boring into you, especially Jason's. “Honestly, Damian, lighten up. If you stopped being such a little grumpy loser all the time, you’d get more attention from girls. You have my looks y'know. ”

Tim, who had been pretending to focus on his homework this whole time, finally looked up from his papers with an exasperated sigh. “Can you not?” he asked, voice strained. “We’ve got school in twenty minutes. We don’t need a whole lecture about boys in the car.”

“Hey, no need to be so dramatic, Tim,” you said, turning your attention to your phone. You found your favorite song, the one that was guaranteed to annoy everyone in the car. “I’m just having fun. It’s not like I’m gonna do anything crazy. I just wanna know who’s gonna be there today."

You were making them all uncomfortable, and you loved it. You could already see Damian’s jaw tightening in the rearview mirror and Jason’s knuckles whitening around the steering wheel. Tim was staring at you like you were a whole new level of annoying. Even Duke rolled his eyes.

But that wasn’t enough. You needed them to be seething.

“I’m telling you right now,” Jason warned, his voice dead serious, “no boys today. No messing around. You’re going to class, and you’re staying focused. I'll check your phone if I have to. Got it?”

You put on your best innocent face, looking up from your phone as if you hadn’t just been causing a small riot in the car. “Okay, okay, Jason. No boys. I'm more into men anyway.”

Damian scoffed again, muttering something about how “pathetic” it was. You just grinned and rolled your eyes.

“Hey, you’re just jealous because girls don’t look at you,” you said, winking at him. “Maybe if you weren’t such a pain in the ass, you’d get noticed more.”

Duke, who had been quietly observing the entire conversation, finally spoke up from the backseat, his tone easygoing but with a hint of amusement. “You got any tips for me? Am I chopped liver”

You rolled your eyes at him, still not over his betrayal. “Glad you’re entertained, Duke. I don't think even I could help you.”

As you said that, you grabbed the aux cord and plugged it into your phone without asking.

Jason let out a sharp sigh, but you just grinned. “I’ve got it from here,” you said as you clicked on Drake’s Hotline Bling. The song blasted as you maxed out the volume. Damian looked like he was about to combust.

“You really are a pain in the ass, aren’t you?” Tim muttered under his breath, trying to focus on his schoolwork again.

You grinned. “I like to think of myself as entertaining.”

Duke nodded his head to the beat, tapping on his phone and Jason’s eyes darted to the rearview mirror, but you could see the playfulness in his face. He was trying not to smile, despite himself.

“I’m just saying, no boys today, no skipping, no trouble” Jason reiterated, trying to keep a semblance of control. “And if I hear anything about you messing around, we’re going back home, got it?”

You leaned back in your seat and stretched again. “Sure, sure, no boys. But just so you know, if i get into "trouble" it’s not my fault.”

Jason didn’t respond.

When you finally arrived at Gotham Prep you sighed, grabbed your bag, straightened out your skirt one last time, and nearly ran away from them so you didn't have to walk in with Duke, Damian, and Tim. “See you later, losers,” you said with a grin, pulling your sunglasses on as you walked away from the car.

Gotham Prep didn't know what's coming.

Taglist:

@strwberryglass @lilithquillete @delias-stuff @bellatrixmld @damainwayneisthebestrobin @kittzu @lilyalone @yokesmam @sanjisluvbot @facelessisnthere @dollwhite @superstarbucks

@angelunatic @littledollete @cutelittlesugarfairy @darbystrange @sxftiebee @zealous0mouse @trashlanternfish360 @galaxygirlsblog @euphoria-looney @1simpchunkygirl @a-lurking-fae @analuixxy @naturallyspontaneous @horror-lover-69 @pastel-mouse @ladyrosemone @frankie-moon3 @catley1011 @justannie18 @yandereaficionado @ithoughtthinks @asdfghjklgayblog @shadowyknightbeargoth @peche4et3chocolat @boredselkie @rogueofbullshit @iamabeaner @rosesunderthegarde

[babyangelsky]

I love that Phu was wearing his teddy bear pajamas when he got blown by Cir

And I love it specifically because it flies in the face of a rather unfortunate trend that's always been present but that has been on my mind a lot lately.

A couple of months ago, I came across a post that referred to Teerak from Your Sky as "basically a child" and went in on the show for portraying him in any sort of sexual light and then went in on Muenfah and criticized him for wanting to do anything remotely sexual with Teerak and just—

No. NO. NO!

Listen, I don't give a fuck how someone interprets a character even if I disagree on every possible level. Art is subjective. How someone sees the art they consume and what they get out of it is none of my fucking business.

But there's this awful tendency to conflate cuteness with immaturity and to infantilize any character that exhibits any traits or preferences that can be read as cute. Hell, sometimes even a character's appearance is all it takes for them to be infantilized.

And it's always the same shit. If a character is shy, soft-spoken, bubbly, cheerful, or sweet, they're seen as a child. If they have plushies and enjoy lots of color, they're seen as a child. Act cute? Child. Like cute things? Child. Shorter than their love interest? Child. Younger than their love interest? Child.

Fucking STOP.

The person who made the post I referred to used a screenshot of Teerak hugging his Snoopy plush to somehow justify their interpretation and you know what? LIKING PLUSHIES AND CUTE THINGS DOES NOT MAKE SOMEONE """"BASICALLY A CHILD"""".

Whether or not a character (or a real actual person) likes cute things or happens to be sweet and soft-spoken and shy has nothing to do with how mature they are and it certainly says nothing about their sexuality and sexual desires. I turn 31 years old in just over a week and there are plushies on my bed. I put hearts all over my blog. Liking cute things just means you like cute things! That's all!

Teerak is adorable and colorful and sweet, and he's also a young man who's deliriously in love and HORNY for his boyfriend. He ALWAYS wanted to fuck that man and if he hesitated at first, it was due only to his lack of experience. Nothing else.

Which is partly why this scene:

Was so fucking great to watch. Not just because Teerak wanted to fuck his boyfriend and made his intent crystal clear and took the initiative, but because he was allowed to by the story. @iguessitsjustme wrote a great post about it, go give it a read.

More and more we're seeing BL's where both characters (THE CUTE ONES INCLUDED) are allowed and shown to want each other sexually and it's been amazing to see. Mutual horniness will never not be amazing to see.

Allll of that is why I love that Phukan was in his teddy bear pajamas in his love scene with Cir. Because like Teerak, Phukan is exactly the type of character that gets infantilized and that people get all pearl-clutchy about when he's portrayed doing anything sexual.

Phu is adorable and colorful and he likes being babied and he collects those cute little trinket things I can't remember the name of and he ALSO REALLY WANTS TO FUCK CIRRUS. To quote @poetry-protest-pornography , he was an active and enthusiastic participant in his first blowjob and that's exactly as it should be regardless of what he's wearing or what he likes! He's a full person with a functioning libido and I'm so happy and grateful that the story isn't infantilizing him.

TL;DR, some of ya'll have got to let go of the notion that a character being/acting cute and them experiencing sexual desire are mutually exclusive.

[xxnashiraxx]

Snippet Sunday 🩸

I have been so busy these past couple of weeks and have not had a chance to post on a Wednesday, but making up for that today!

Thank you for all the tags over this past week, guys! Especially to @obsessedwhyyes @vividiana (I SAW YOU POST YOUR FIC, I'M ON THAT) @deadly-diminuendo @heylittleriotact @andromedaancunin @emmg -I hope I got everyone! 🖤

Here is a little snippet from Chapter 18 of With Stars to Fill My Dream! I'm a few words shy of 10k and I'm still not done 😬 Very close though! I still intend to post the chapter this coming Saturday, so I'm just juggling the ending since it was supposed to cut off at a certain event, but if I add that this chapter may turn into 15k and I don't think anyone needs a 15k chapter lol, so 19 will have my big cool secret that I'm excited to write!

Anyway! Here is just a bit from the creche! 🖤

A bump to her back shakes her out of the rapid devouring of self-hatred spreading into every cell in her body, stumbling and almost collapsing onto the ground below. “Watch it,” Astarion hisses, pressing up more firmly against her once her knees steady. “What are you-” “Draw your blade, we’re being surrounded.” “What blade? I have a goddamn knife, in case you haven’t noticed,” “It’ll be close combat soon enough,” He bites back bitterly. With cruel acknowledgement, she realizes he’s right, and she holds her dagger defensively, the feel of Astarion mimicking her stance as they lean on each other for support sending waves of confidence and dizzying uncertainty sparking through her veins. The pair of them really aren’t suited to this kind of punishing rhythm- the dance they weave teetering in and out of their favor with each blow and evasion. Constantly shuffling feet, ducking, and bending lend a kind of bizarre grace to each cohesive attack. He stabs, she parries. He parries, she stabs. A month ago, she’d been shaking in her boots at the prospect of some stranger following her through a dimly lit alley or confronting her for money. Now? She’s slashing her dagger and catching a chunk of githyanki ear in the cheek, sputtering and spitting the metallic liquid from her mouth onto the ground below. “Here, you need something,” Ofelia tosses over her shoulder, knowing he’ll hear her over the loud grunts of a woman who constantly swings her spear- as if she’d be lucky enough to land a successful hit on their cunning rogue. Ofelia presses the hilt of her dagger between gritted teeth before deftly swinging her lute to the front. It takes her but a moment to recall the spell, and the blink of an eye to choose something appropriate. Whether by her estimations or the surrounding enemies, she isn’t sure. Quick digits splay over the neck of the instrument with a prowess stemming from years of habitual repetition. The tune she defaults to when lost in thought—its weeping melody and slapping of skin to wood—floods her brain with familiarity. Like an old friend, it caresses her ears with a comfort long and lost. Emboldened by the teal magic that sinks into his pale skin, Astarion makes short work of the soldier before him with only the loud tearing of sinew and tissue being ripped from bone to indicate her termination. Ofelia turns to him, blood covering his face to paint his gaunt features in a shadowy mockery of the one she knows best. Polluting her thoughts of him, he does nothing but stare. If she’d been of clearer mind she would have paid more attention to the Inquisitor out of his periphery, elbows thrust backward as he lines his blade up with Astarion’s abdomen. “No!” She juts her hip out to knock him off balance, lute lowered in a measly attempt to block the blow. Aged wood and rusting strings do not, a proper shield, make.

If you're wondering what Ofelia strummed, yes it's the guitar solo from Bulls in the Bronx 🤙🏻

No pressure tags for my lovelies! 💗 @pinkberrytea @khywren @caffeinatedmunchkin @bby-bel-art @nerdallwritey @verbenaa @inkymoonbunny @elinorbard @badbloodwitch @justabiteofspite @bloodinwine @ladyduellist @preciouslittlebhaalbae @lanafofana @bardic-inspo @busy-baker @marlowethebard @alwaysmauria

[slimybeth69]

Que Será, Será: Part 9

Rating: Explicit- Smut, violence, drinking/drug use. MDNI!!

Summary: It's almost twenty years after some weird outbreak almost happened but the CDC took care of that...Now you're living in Austin, Texas as an adult.What happens when you meet Joel Miller who hasn't been hardened and ruined by twenty years of murder and loss?Warnings/Tags: DaddyDom!Joel/ you. no use of y/n. No physical description of the reader besides one tattoo. Reader has a background story. Drinking/drug use. Slow burn. Smut. Angst. Cheating. Graphic depictions of violence. Eventual loss of virginity. Use of nicknames/pet names (lil girl, baby girl.) DD/lg dynamics. BDSM play.

Unbeta'ed. WIP. Cross-posting from my Ao3.Chapter

Warnings: drinkings, bar fights, reader gets injured, Joel is a DICK. SMUT!! SO MUCH!!! IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE. IT'S HAPPENING.

It’s been two weeks since your little drinking, spanking, shopping and swapping shenanigans. Joel (your boyfriend) has spent the night at least…nine or ten times and each time he brings you something. Four times it was flowers, another time he brought dinner. The next night he brought you sex toys. Real sex toys and didn’t even ask to watch you use them. Just left them on your bedside table before he left for work and then kissed you goodbye while you slept. 

He doesn’t ask you to come over after you said you feel bad about leaving your brand new cat. Who is…perfect and sweet. She is a snuggly baby and just wants love and scratches. She looooves Joel. Meows at him all the time and he acts annoyed by it but you know he loves it. He’s so nice and sweet to her. Picks her up and puts her in his lap when he thinks you aren’t looking. He just wants to pet her and be nice to her. 

It’s going to be awkward if and when Sam and Cody ever come home. Another grown man…older than both of them sleeping in their basement? Awesome. Sam–if she ever gets better– is going to lose her mind that this man is twenty years older than you. She’s also going to have a sarcastic mouth and say something about him being old enough to be your dad and… Joel doesn’t like that very much. Not at all, actually. So. 

You guys get it…more than you would think. People are just openly telling you and your dad to have a great day. Enjoy your meal. Have fun. Why are people okay with outwardly assuming the older gentleman you’re with is your dad? Huh? Weird. Joel does not let go of your hand or your ass everywhere you go because he hates it so much. It’s been a struggle.

But not enough to make him not wanna see you anymore.

Joel is taking you to the bar tonight to meet Tommy, his brother. Your boyfriend (never gets old) told you that you’ve probably seen Tommy before. He comes into the store too. You're racking your brain of every man who has ever come through your line before. Ones that look like Joel? None. Maybe. You dunno. You see so many guys all day long. 

Tommy recognizes you though. Sure does. 

“You rejected me a couple months ago.” Tommy snickers softly as he shakes your hand. “But you’ll date my asshole older  brother? I see. I see you.” Tommy gives you the universal – index and middle fingers pointed at his eye then to yours– motion that says ‘I see you’. It’s fine. You do not care. Joel is your type and Tommy is no Joel. 

Tommy is alright though. You’re shocked you turned him down as you all sat at a booth near the back of the bar with drinks. His hair is longer, shoulder length and darker than Joel’s. Mustache and a goatee. He never asked for your number… He’s lying. Maybe. 

“You like Austin?” Tommy sips on his beer after he asks. 

“It’s alright. I liked living in Jersey. I didn’t really wanna move. It was just hard finding a job up there…but it was just as hard down here.” You snort and take a sip of your drink as Joel relaxes. He said in the car he was sore and he needed a massage later. You would give him one in hopes he would fuck you. He still hasn’t. It’s fine. You’re not upset about it. 

“Hardware store treat you good? Joel told me ‘bout your truck and your computer. Sucks. Sorry.” Tommy seems like a nice guy. 

“They’re nice to me. Give me the same schedule that I like. Don’t make me work late. I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it.” You shrug your shoulders. “Do you like working with Joel?” You feel a gentle and slow moving hand on your bare thigh, Joel’s hand under the skirt of your sundress.. A comforting touch. 

“S’alright. All I’ve ever done. I started right after I graduated high school— did that early.” Tommy smiles at himself proudly. 

“That’s fuckin’ cool. Did you do any night classes or anything like that to go to college smarty pants?” You tease him nicely. He chuckles and shakes his head. 

“Nooo. Stayed here and just worked for this miserable fuck. Probably will for the rest of his life.” Tommy jokes and Joel rolls his eyes. 

“I’m fuckin’ retiring soon. Fuck that shit. You take over. You do this shit.” He grumbles and sips his beer. 

“I’ll take over, shiiit. Been waiting to hear those words.” Tommy shakes his head in a sense of disbelief and excitement and is smiling. It’s a cute brother interaction and it’s good to see that they’re close. Tommy doesn’t actually hate him you don’t think. So that’s good. Joel is moving his hand all up and down your leg and moving it in towards your inner thigh, squeezing you tightly with his rough fingers. 

“I’m thinkin’ next year or two. Nothin’ too long.” Joel sounds reassuring to Tommy. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Tommy rolls his eyes and finishes his beer. “Y’all want another?” You and Joel both say yes and as soon as Tommy is out of earshot, Joel leans in and whispers in your ear. 

“Open your legs.” Then he kisses you on the cheek and leans back against the booth. You open your legs slowly and Joel doesn’t tease or anything, he's inside your panties and he slides one thick, stiff finger through your folds, pulls his hand from under your dress and offers his finger that was just trailing up your other set of lips. You open your mouth and he smears your juices on your tongue, withdraws his finger and then sucks it clean with his mouth. “Close ‘em.” Joel nudges your knee with his under the table and you snap them shut as Tommy walks up. 

They start to talk and you have no time to talk to him about what he just did. In public! Indecency!! Getting arrested?? He had scared you in the parking lot when he said you could get arrested!! No thank you. Your back is sweating from that. Kinda hot… 

“Hey,” Joel nudges you with his elbow and drags you back to the bar and out of fucking thinking about becoming a registered offender for Joel. You’re being spoken to and not responding. Tommy is asking you something. 

“Did you go to school?” 

“Um, for a little bit and then I found a job I loved and didn’t wanna go. Wasn’t going…” You chuckle that last part nervously. “Partied a little and just would sleep through class. Wasting money.” You shrug your shoulders. You can feel Joel’s eyes on you but you don’t look up at him. 

“Damn. I went to a couple of college parties. Fuckin’ pretty wild shit happenin’ there.” Tommy is doing nothing to help your case. 

“Dumb shit.” You snort and avoid the quizzical eyes that that are being given to you by your boyfriend. You left out the parties when he asked. Dunno why you said anything tonight. Idiot. 

“Hell yeah. Saw some wild shit…” Tommy’s eyes are flicking between you and Joel and he’s smirking. “Your man over there know what kinda wild shit you was gettin’ into?” He snickers into his beer glass. 

“I wasn’t getting into any wild shit. Just drinking too much.” You roll your eyes and finally look up at Joel who is just… lookin’ at you. “I wasn’t gettin’ into wild shit!” You exclaim and he smirks. 

“Sure.” Then he goes back to talking to Tommy. 

“Hey, I’ll be right back” You stand to go to the bathroom after letting Joel know and try and find it in this maze of a bar. You find it a minute later. You look nice tonight. Did your make up all pretty and actually did something pretty with your hair. You're happily looking at yourself in the mirror and two girls walk in– pretty girls. They look at you. You look at them. It’s quiet for two seconds. 

“I love your dress!” One of them exclaims excitedly. They fawn over your simple navy blue dress. It’s knee length. Nothing fancy but they hype you up in the bathroom and make you feel so nice. What a good drunk girl bathroom experience. You’re on cloud nine walking back to the booth when chaos erupts beside you at the bar. You have no time to scramble away before the tall bar chairs are being knocked over and hitting you in the legs. It hurts! People start shouting–

“Fuck you– stupid fucking pussy bitch. You won’t do shit. You fucking wont”

“Fuckin’ lets go outside. Fight me outside pussy. One-on-one. Me n’ you, fucker.” 

They do not wait and are throwing punches so quickly and moving so fast. You are overtaken by them and do not even realize what is happening as you take elbows and maybe a fuckin’ fist to the eye!? What was that!? Jeeeesus that hurt– whatever the fuck it was– but it doesn’t stop! They are fighting and now more people from the bar are jumping in to fight or break it up. 

Soft, small hands are on yours and pulling you out of the way but someone falls and breaks your grip and now you’re stumbling backwards towards more fighting men and now, fighting women. They aren’t asking who is involved. Just throwing punches and you take one to the left tit and someone kicks you in the back of the thigh!! What the fuck!! Now, you’re mad and you are also fucking punching and kicking people. What the fuck!? Who just doesn’t let the girls get outta the way first??? 

One of the two original guys is on the ground, and he definitely hit you or elbowed you (on accident, but still). You give him two good stomps to the shoulder for whatever he did to you and then… you get a real punch to the face. The fist is big, feels like a boulder against your skull. There is so much force behind it. You're stunned. One that sends you into tunnel vision and it’s blurry and you’re in pain. Real pain. None of that other shit hurt like this. Hoooly shit. Your eye is on fire. It might have fucking fallen out. Jeeeeus. You're stumbling away, almost falling down to the ground. More people are on top of you. You are fighting them off of you. 

You're trying to stand up in this mob of people and your hand gets stepped on and it hurts. Your dress is all hiked up to your stomach. The bar floor is sticky and there are hands on you. Not even trying to be groping or touching you the way they are, they're just as desperate to get out of this sea of hot, sweating bodies. Finally, you're on your knees and someone pushes you forward into someone another girl. You've never seen her before, and now the eye that hurt before it's stinging and you can barely see out of it. You see out of your good eye that she is getting ready to fight you for slamming into her, she has her first cocked back but you beat her to it, you slam your closed fist right between her eyes and now, the hand that has been stepped on and now punched into someones skull-- sends fire to your brain. More new pain as you push yourself to your feet while still being all jostled around.

More small, soft, girly hands are on yours immediately pulling you out of the way. It’s one of the girls from the bathroom. She is all messed up too, her hair and make up. Missing one of her fake eyelashes. Over her shoulder you have just enough time to see Joel with his hand around the throat of some guy, you hope the one who hit you and is pinning him to the wooden bar. Joel’s other fist is cocked back and he sends it forward. You can’t watch but you can hear it. Hear his fist connecting with that guy’s face. 

Fuck. Your face hurts real bad. Guy’s hands are on you but you already know they are not Joel’s so you start to push them off you angrily but Tommy’s voice is in your ear.

“Joel wants me to get you out of here.” Tommy is shouting over the commotion and noise and the screaming. It’s so loud. You’re still wincing as the guy Joel is holding to the bar starts to fight back. Tommy is leading you out of the bar through the fire exit and an alarm goes off but outside it’s finally… not chaos. 

“Shit! You okay!?” Tommy takes your face in his hands and inspects your eye. There is a comfort behind his touch that brings tears to your eyes before he brings ones of pain to them!

“I’m fine. It just— shit! Don’t fuckin' touch it!” You snap at him when he runs his hand over whatever is causing you pain. He pulls his hand away and there is blood on his thumb. “Is that my blood?!” You exclaim and bring one hand to your eye and the pain is coming from high on your upper lid near the outer edge of your brow. Stinging, burning and dull throbbing. Blood on your fingers!! You don’t have your purse or phone or anything. It’s all inside. Your hurt eye is still stinging. So bad. You have blood in your eye and it hurts! So badly! Where is your boyfriend!? Why is his brother taking care of you!? 

People come pouring out of the bar from every door. You and Tommy are looking for Joel for so long before he comes out of the bar… looking really angry. He’s got your bag, jacket and phone in his hand but he’s pointing at you accusingly shouting at you before he is even close enough for you to hear him but he keeps yelling until you can.

“Grow the fuck up!” He barks at you loudly. “Fightin’ at the bar? Really?!” He shouts at you and you’re so confused. As Joel gets closer, Tommy steps between the two of you like Joel… might do something if he didn’t. 

“I wasn’t fighting!!” You shout back at him. 

“I fuckin’ saw you!! Throwing fuckin’ fists! Ya fuckin’ serious!?” Joel is still pointing at you but over Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy keeps trying to talk to Joel who looks so fucking angry at you, but Joel keeps moving his head to see you. Joel has blood on his knuckles but his face is fucking fine so why is he yelling at you!? He was fighting too!

"You were fighting!! I saw you!!" You shout at him with more tears rolling down your face. Joel erupts-- pushing Tommy away, stumbling backwards until he regains his balance and get's between you and Joel again

"Beating up the fucker that pushed you!! For you to turn around and punch that fuckin' lady!" Joel screams at you. "She do that to you!? GOOD! S'whatchya get for fighting!" 

“A guy punched me–” You sob as tears roll down your cheeks, trying to explain yourself but he doesn’t let you finish. 

“Shut the fuck up! Grow—” Joel stops mid sentence and takes you in, really looks at you for the first time since he came outside. See's how badly you're beat  “A guy hit you!? Who!? Which fuckin’ one!?.” Joel is twisting his head around looking for whoever did it to you.

“Duh!!!! You fucking asshole!” You shout at him. “I don’t know who did it!! I got fucking punched in the face!!” You’re screaming a little and storm off towards his truck. You hear a scuffle behind you and look over your shoulder and now Tommy and Joel are fighting. Tommy is trying to get Joel to give you a minute, or Joel himself a minute to cool down. Joel is not letting it happen, shoving his brother in the chest, talking shit– being an asshole. You don’t even care if they fight. Fuck this. You keep going towards the truck until you hear the sound no one wants to hear. 

An expensive phone dropping on a hard surface. Pavement in this case. You close your eyes and keep walking because you already know it was yours and it’s probably broken and you can’t think about it. Won’t.You’re still sobbing as you get to Joel’s truck.

This night didn’t happen. 

Your face says a different story in the side mirror of Joel's truck. There is evidence that it did happen. You’re black and blue on your right eye and have an inch long laceration right below your eyebrow. Bleeding. Dripping down the side of your face– which is numb– and down your chin and onto your pretty dress. Your hand is all black and blue. You inspect the back of your thigh and it is also, black and blue. With a red shoe print right In the middle. You sob softly against the car and just want Joel to take you home and never talk to you again. 

The truck unlocks while you’re standing against the door. You open it before Joel has the chance to do it for you and climb in. You don’t even look at him when he gets in. He just sits next to you silently for so long. Feels like an hour of him just listening to you cry. 

“I'm sorry. Jus' slipped outta my hand. I’ll getchya a new one tomorrow. Better one.” He murmurs softly. “N’ I’m sorry fer’ yelling at you. Tellin' ya t'shup up.” He reaches over the console now to touch your shoulder but you pull away, still crying. “I am sorry. I was just mad n’ all fuckin’.. I dunno. Just...” 

“Just fuckin’ yellin' at me.” You sob. “I’m bleeding!” You turn to him and show him the blood on your face that he can clearly see. He nods and leans over the console to inspect it. You let him, let him touch your chin gently in his fingers to turn your head so you'll look at him. His other hand pulls the skin above your eyebrow up so he can inspect how deep the wound is. It hurts when he does that so you whimper and clench your eyes shut. He sucks his teeth softly and sadly. 

“I’m gonna take you to the hospital. Y'need stitches.” he leans in and steals a gentle kiss before you can stop him, you honestly, don't even want to. "I am sorry. So sorry." He murmurs against your lips with desperation in his tone. He has your blood on his cheek when he pulls away– and you mindlessly wipe it off with your thumb, and then feel fucking stupid for caring about that when he didn't care to begin with. "I really am.” He starts the truck and drives towards the emergency room. You say nothing.

You need six stitches. Joel is driving you home two hours later in silence. You don’t even have a phone to look at. Smashed to fuck. Because your boyfriend is an asshole. Neither one of you say anything until he pulls into your driveway. 

“So…I’m not leavin’...” Joel starts to explain, you try and argue with him but he narrows his eyes on yours and it silences you. “I had a lil plan fer’ tonight… n’ it looks like yer’ too mad at me for that to happen–” Joel is still talking but you don’t even really hear him. You speak over him. He keeps talking and you tune back into what he is saying. "--leavin'. I don't gotta sleep in yer' bed. I'll stay on the couch but we're talkin' 'bout this tomorrow. We have to. I gotta buy you a new phone..." He trails off shaking his head in shame for himself for acting the way he did. 

“You were gonna… fuck me tonight?” You scoff and squint your eye at him. The other one is a lil swollen. Joel nods and shrugs his shoulders.

“I thought it’d be fun, have a couple drinks… loosen up a lil. Fuck you all night. 'Cause I know ya really want it. Yer' excited for it. Not nervous n' shy.” Joel looks down at his hands as he speaks. 

“That an excuse to get you inside?” You ask softly. Joel shakes his head. 

“I been knew we were gon’ do this tonight. Couple days ago-- when we decided to have you meet Tommy.” Joel chuckles. “Fuckin’ shoulda just done it a long time ago.” He scoffs softly like he is annoyed with himself. “Was gon’ have you wear that lil white thang I got you. Was gonna fuckin'... defile you in that thang.” He turns his head to look at you and frowns. “I don’t wanna leave, Bird. I wanna talk 'bout it. Don't gotta do nothin'. Talk in the mornin'?” He pleads with you softly and quietly. 

“I don't need to talk about it. I have one thing to say." You look at him with the most honest, and innocent eyes you have because you are. You're a nice girl who doesn't fight at the bar. You want to be a good girl for him but, not if this is the kind of person he's going to be to you. "If you ever yell at me like that again…you’ll never get a chance to apologize for it. I mean it.” You snap at him and open the door to his truck and jump down. Your door isn’t even shut before Joel is beside you. He lets you lead him to the front door and watches you unlock it, his hands on your waist. 

“I’m sorry. I'll be better. I will.” Joel whispers in to your ear as he trawls his hands along your sides and over your stomach. Once the door is open, the front of one of his thighs press against the backs yours and he pushes your leg into the house slowly, and then does it with the other as he walks you into the entryway. “Sorry.” He whispers once more against the nape of your neck as his hands roam across the front of you. 

“I know.” You lean back against his chest and now he pulls you into him, kissing your skin softly. “I’m still mad though!” You pull away from him but he holds you against him and speaks quickly to stop your pushing and fighting hands on his arms around you.

“You should be.” It's spoken firmly against the crook of your neck and makes you stop fighting him. “I get.. I dunno– seein' you get pushed by that guy... I got fuckin' scared. N' then I turn around n' see you fighting? I got mad. Like an asshole-- I say shit I don’t mean.” He sounds ashamed. 

“S’why your wife left?” You ask sharply and are not even scared because if he gets mad again, he can fuckin’ leave. 

“Partially.” Joel sighs. “She was just as bad, Bird.” Joel holds his arms out from behind you and twists them in each direction so you can see all those scars. “Not from workin’.” Joel kisses your neck again and his warm breath feels staggered like he is nervous to be talkin’.

“She did this to you?” You whisper quietly in shock. 

“Fer’ three fuckin’ years.” He groans and then pulls his arms away. “I hate talkin’ ‘bout it, don’t fuckin’ wanna, really. What else you wanna know?” Joel sighs softly from behind you. 

“You ever hit her back?” You’re not sure you wanna know, but you kind of need to know. 

“Once.” Joel whispers and his body is gone from behind yours. You turn and he’s leaning against the front door with the heels of his hands pressed into his eyes. “Fuckin’... the night ‘fore she took off. We were fightin’, n’ she just wouldn’t let up.” He doesn’t remove his hands, sounds angry to be talking about it and is starting to speak a little more aggressively. “Non stop. All night. Scratchin’, wailin’ on me somethin’ fuckin’ terrible. Callin’ me a bad dad– been a dad for two weeks mind you, workin’ my ass off day in n’ out for those that lil girl n' that bitch who fuckin' hit me.” Joel finally rips his hands away from his eyes and is shaking his head, with an angry smile on his face. “I fuckin’ just… I dunno, lil tap on her mouth-- t’ shut her up. After three fuckin’ years of puttin’ up with it.” Joel tosses his hands in the air and puts his hand on the doorknob.

“Don’t go–” You try and stop him even though you are still mad at him. Those patterned scars on his arms? Her fucking fingernails and that's heartbreaking. Makes you so fucking sad that he put up with that for so long because he just wanted to be a dad.

“I need a fuckin' minute—” He says sharply. “I'm not takin’ my bullshit out on you– again.” Then he opens the door, steps out onto the porch and shuts the door behind him. 

What the hell is going on? 

You go to the basement because, poor Joel. Your battered and beaten– That fuckin’ bitch of an ex-wife of his better hope you never have to meet her. You’ll put your hands on her in ways Joel couldn’t. Sure fuckin’ will. You’re so mad thinking about it while you change out of your bloody dress and into that lil white lace thing Joel got you. 

You’re losing your virginity tonight. You don’t care what he says or if he wants to (you’re not gonna do that), you also don’t care that you have a black eye and a laceration with stitches. No. You’re going to fuck your boyfriend and make him less sad for having a terrible ex-wife that he— You gasp audibly even though no one is around to hear– thankfully. Joel is going to have to see her at his daughter's wedding. Stupid, man beatin’ bitch. Joel should have just left but… you’ve never been in an abusive relationship. So…you have no room to talk. You are going to fuck him. You're partially a little mad at him, mostly feel kinda bad that his wife used to hit him. Want him to remember how good n' tight your pussy is if he ever sees her again and gets sucked back into whatever bullshit she was dishing out that kept him around for so long. 

You're gonna do your damnedest to seduce your boyfriend and get him to fuck you. You need it more than he does honestly. You got punched in the face--- fuuck. Your PHONE!? You cannot even think about it because you'll lose all sense of feeling bad for him and go out there and spit on him not nicely. Okay. Sex with Joel. 

You’ll just be there for him if and when he comes inside to see you ready in bed. Splayed out so he can fucking use you if he needs to. You don't care. You cleaned up all the blood and honestly…ya don’t look half bad. You look sexy as hell in that lil white thang and your black eye. He won’t be able to resist. If he ever comes inside…he’s been out there for so long. 

It’s hard to not go inspecting when he’s out there for a half hour. Just sitting on one of the chairs on the porch. You could go outside. Sam and Cody’s house faces a giant field and has no neighbors across from them and it’s late. You’re fuckin’ in your lil white thing. Shit. Fuck. Doesn’t matter. He is your boyfriend and he is sad. You open the door and take a deep breath, getting ready to be almost naked outside. 

“Hi.” You stand with your feet together after you step out and turn to him. He doesn’t look up at you, just stares at his hands. 

“I’m sorry, baby.” He grumbles to himself. “I just feel like an ass.” He still doesn’t look up. 

“I know. You should for what happened at the bar. But, we can talk another time about it. Come inside with me.” You feel like an ass to for being out here like this. Cody and Sam…have neighbors on either side of their house…so someone could fuckin’ see you. 

“I need another minute, babe. I'm so--” Joel turns his head to look at you and stops mid-sentence. “Woah.” He sighs softly. “Yer' like a pretty lil angel.” Joel smirks and his eyes trace every voluptuous curve of your body before his eyes find yours. “You want Daddy t’fuck you tonight– all night? S'why you put that on? For me?” He asks softly, turning his body in the chair, resting one elbow on the armrest. 

“Yes, Daddy.” You nod at him and he pushes himself out of the chair. 

“Where you want it?” He growls softly. “Out here?” Joel raises one eyebrow and you freeze in fear and start to panic but Joel smirks and takes three steps so he can be in front of you, turning you so your back is to the front door. “Get yer’ ass in that bed, right now.” His kisses are long and desperate as your hand searches for the doorknob that is somewhere on the door behind you. He finds it for you and leads you inside, downstairs and to the bed. 

There is a trail of his clothes from the front door to where he has you now. On your bed. Naked between your legs. Both of you are quivering and searching endlessly for more air as you’re reduced to a puddle as he slides his length over your cunt through that little triangle of white fabric that separates the two of you. 

“Might hurt a lil.” Joel whispers down to you as he rolls his hips into yours softly. He’s been doing this as he kisses you, teasing you with nibbling bottom lip kisses and naughty words for several minutes and now he’s is like hot steel between your legs. “I’m sorry if it does hurt at all. Imma go slow the first time as long as y’need me to.” He whispers as just the tips of your noses touch softly. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah..” You’re so fucking nervous and excited and feel like you’ll never catch your breath again. 

“I like bein’ this close to ya, but…I gotta watch.” Joel kisses you softly and leans back so he can look between your two bodies that meet right in the center. “Fuuuck.” Joel whispers to only himself as he grinds himself into you. “You wanna keep that sexy lil thong on? Don’t care?” Joel flicks his eyes up to yours as one of his strong hands slips into the delicate string on the side. 

“You gonna rip it?” You ask with a smirk. He nods silently. “Do it.” Joel purses his lips together and yanks the elastic from the triangle of fabric and then does the same thing with the other side- discarding it on the floor. 

Joel seems just as nervous as you as he wraps one fist around his throbbing length. He strokes himself a couple times as he kneels in front of you. It’s already so hard and… so big. Fuck. Okay. You got this. He’s not doing anything. Just looking at your pussy and his cock he’s stroking right above it. He’s breathing just as heavy as you are. 

“Ready?” Joel flicks his eyes up to yours and you nod. “Gimmie.” Joel taps your hips with his hand and you push your hips up as he reaches forward and grabs two pillows and puts them under your hips. When you set them down, you’re angled up to him. “Perfect.” 

The tip of his cock is so much hotter than you could have ever expected him to be. So fucking hot, it’s like it’s burning you as he traces the outside of your cunt with it. You’re staring at him– watching his cock tease your pussy and you cannot help but wonder who he is teasing more. Himself or you? 

“Fuck me, Daddy.” You whine softly, batting your eyelashes. Joel’s eyes flick up to yours and they are dark and a little scary and he’s got his brows pinched together softly. 

“Shut up, lil brat. Daddy’s doin’ something.” He growls at you, the one hand on your outer thigh strokes you gently and comfortingly as he speaks. Doesn’t grip you or spank you at all. He drops his eyes back down to your dripping center and he sighs softly. “M'Fuckin’...lookin at it. Shut th'fuck up.” He sighs much softer now as he pushes the head of his cock between your folds to drag it up and down the length of your slit. 

“You shut up.” You coo up to him softly, biting your bottom lip. Joel smirks, snorts softly and looks up at you. 

“You like bein’ a lil bratty, bitch?" Joel hisses this question at you angrily, "'Cause this old man fuckin’ loves it.” He smirks, leans down to kiss your forehead before pulling away to watch as he continues to torture you. “Fuckin’ tellin’ me t’shut up. Who’re you? A lil bitch.” Joel speaks softly as the tip of him reaches the entrance. “Fuuuck. Fuck. Okay. Ready? I’m gon’ go slow.” Joel’s eyes can’t leave where you two are about to be joined, honestly, neither can yours. 

“Yeah, please. Put it in me.” You whisper softly and make Joel sigh softly. 

“Say that again.” He demands quietly.

“Put it in me, Daddy. Please.” Your voice is trembling like you might fucking cry from the anticipation of all of this. Been almost close to two months of teasing and licking and fingers. You didn’t even use those toys he got you…not yet. You will. You didn’t want to put anything inside of you before him. 

Joel says nothing as he pushes the tip inside of you. That’s not bad. It goes in with no resistance. He pushes in a little further and there is stretching. A lot of it. Stretching you full. So tight. You close your eyes and let your head fall back. You breathe through that pinching and uncomfortable rasping— pulling inside of you. Pulling you apart. Your pussy was leaking and made it so easy for him to slip into you though, you didn’t resist him, your cunt accept him happily but it still was so full. 

You’re reduced to whimpering through your nose at the new mix of pleasure as the length of him slides across your spongy, raised patch for the first time. It’s…incredible. Fingers are awesome, and toys are cool. 

Joel’s cock is so unyielding, so fucking rigid and hot as it’s stretching you, but when it snakes across that good spot– it’s like silk, smooth and comforting asthe tip of him, or anything ever, kisses your cervix for the first time. It’s a jolt that snaps your eyes open and makes you squeak. Joel’s eyes snap up to yours as his dark patch of pubic hair and the patch right above your slit intermingle as he sinks into you. 

“Lil squeakin’ baby okay?” God the way he fucking talks to you should piss you off. It should make you so fucking mad. You should make him get off of you but you do not because you love it. Joel holds his hips into yours, pressed tightly against you as you adjust to him. Your muscles and walls are clenching and unclenching around him as he delays his pleasure for your comfort. Joel likes it though, you keep doing it even after your cunt stops doing it involuntarily. The tempo change in your squeezing him makes him pull back out of you slowly. 

How can someone be so incredibly soft and hard all at the same time? His whole body. All of it. Soft n’ hard. Fuck. You’re staring up at him while he watches the entire length of him reappear from the interior of you. You see it, your slickness on him, it’s fucking glistening on the throbbing veins and almost purple skin of him. 

“Jesus.” You sigh softly as he pulls everything but the tip from inside you. 

“Fuckin’ tight as hell. Holy shit.” Joel gasps like he had been holding his breath. You sigh and then are reduced to nothing but a moaning mess on the bed as he starts to thrust into you rhythmically. It’s slow and soft. Gentle as to not make you squeak too much, only a little. Your eyes are closed, he’s not telling you to open them. He is leaning over to take on your nipples in his mouth through the sheer, white lace of the bra. He wraps his lips around as much of your breast as he can, sucking it gently as his tongue laps and swirls around your sensitive peak. 

“Oh fu–uck! You can only speak harshly as that mix of pleasure and pain start to mix differently. More stretching and dull aching as his cock moves inside of you– but it’s not as intense or nearly as bad now that you have something constantly moving against that fucking spot. Fuck. He feels so good and warm– hot. He is red, hot steel under the satin, smooth skin of his throbbing dick. “Jeeeesus. Fuck ”

“You like this hard dick Daddy’s givin’ you?” He barks down to you softly, snaps it out of his mouth like you aren’t a melting mess below him. “Yeah you fuckin’ do, sexy fuckin’ brat.” Joel chuckles as a groan escapes his mouth. 

“Y-you like this– fuck– tight pussy– fuuucking god— your lil girl’s givin’ you?” You part choke the words out and then moan some of them. You’re interuppted with bliss as you try and use your voice for him. 

“My fuckin’ god.” Joel’s hips snap into yours— on accident or on purpose you’ll never know– but it feels like all of your bones buzzed all at the same time and every inch of your skin tickles for two seconds until he’s pulling himself away from your cervix and massaging that spot that’ll make you gush on him. You wonder in your euphoria filled brain if he’ll like that– you gushing on him like that and clench your walls down on him even tighter than you thought you could. 

Joel’s whole body jerks gently when you do that and he snaps himself forward again and buzzes your bones and tickles your skin again and it’s… not a terrible feeling. Definitely knew and something you’d have to get used to because when he does it you cannot think for a second after but when you regain your senses he’s already buzzin’ you again with the drooling tip of his cock. You want him to come inside you. Badly. You’ll be fine. It’s the twenty-first century. Emergency contraception works. But then you’re going on the pill so he can do it whenever the fuck he wants. 

“Come in…side me.” Your drawn out whimpering moan makes Joan groan loudly and he is trembling under your touch. You don’t even remember grabbing onto his biceps but you did, sometime during the buzzing you assume. Your fingernails are digging into him and you feel bad, so badly after knowing what you do, but he’s pumping into you quicker now. 

“Dear God.” Joel groans and closes his eyes tight. It feels so good making him do stuff like that. Hearing him moan your little pet name he made up for you. “You want it, Birdie?” His moans are deep and rumble like thunder when they come out of him. You can feel the vibrations from them in his arms. 

“Yeah… I want it…..Claim my pussy….I’m yours Daddy.” You’re keening the words up to him between gasps for air. Where did these high pitched sounds come from? You have never made such noises in your life…not even alone!! He is pushing them out of you as he thrusts inside of you but his sweating body is still trembling, like he is struggling… You think he wants to come, so you try and get him to. “Please Daddy…I beeee-oh fuck– I belong to you.” You whimper as he buzzes you once again. 

“How ya feelin’ Bird?” Joel groans and lets his head fall forward like he is exhausted. “Hu–Hurtin’ still?” He stutters as he withdraws from you slowly. 

“N-nononoo.” You whimper as he thrusts into once more and then holds himself against that blinding, body vibrating stop deep inside you. You’re silenced by this and staring up at him as he tilts his head up to look at you. 

“I gotta…” Joel hangs his head in shakes it in shame, panting softly. “I can’t anymore.” He is still panting and looking up at you again. 

“S-So c-come.” You stutter up to him as body and mind melting tremors course through you. 

“Not talkin’ ‘bout comin’ Birdie.” He adjusts his hands on the bed and rests for a second, wiping his sweat covered brow with the back of one of his hands. “Gotta while ‘fore I do that now…” He’s grinning down at you, his chest– also dripping sweat– is rising and falling as he tries to slow his puffing. “I gotta fuck ya.” He nods. 

“You are?” You can think… a little bit. Not much. 

“No. We’re makin’ love right now.” Joel admits with another shake of his head from side to side. “I wanna fuck you.” Joel nods now, up and down, quickly. “If ya can’t handle it… might gotta take a lil break.” He sighs. “Havin’ trouble controlin’ myself… don’t wanna hurt ya.” He sighs loudy and then hoots like he just has energy and sound inside of him he needs to expel. 

“Like… fuck me real hard?” You dunno. The buzzing. The buzzing is not terrible but it is a lot and he is still doing it right now. Pressing on that little button that lets you know he has arrived at your most inner location. 

“I’ll hold back a lil.” He reassures you but then adds. “Just gotta go harder’n this.” Joel sighs like he is disappointed with himself for having those needs inside of him but it’s kind of turning you on that he can’t control himself with you. Needs to take a break!? He is taking a break right now!

“You’ll stop–”

“Baaaaby.” Joel groans. “Don’t gotta ask. Of course.” He nods quickly. “Never fuckin’ hurt you. ‘Less you ask for it.” Joel snickers. “Then I will.” The tremors are turning into little itchy scratchies inside of you and not so much tickles and vibrations and alarms going off all over your whole body. No, this isn’t too bad. 

“Okay. Fuck me, Old man.” You nod up to him and Joel snickers to himself and leans all the way back so he is on his knees, holding you where your thighs meet your sides at your hip. Your legs are splayed out on either side of him. 

“You just give me a good whack right here–” Joel points to his forearm. “A good one. Don’t grab me, don’t tap. Whack me. I’ll stop n’ we can do it the other way.” He speaks firmly so you’re listing. You’re trying but, still twitching underneath him. He pulls his hips away from yours and you can relax. A deep sigh and almost– a feeling of being empty. Like you’re gaping now that he’s only at the entrance. “Whaddya got’a do?” Joel asks now, catching your watering eyes. 

“Whack.” You choke out after swallowing in a big, noisy gulp. You make Joel snort silently, just his body jerks softly and he smiles. 

“Yer’ pussy is fuckin immaculate, baby girl.” Joel sighs loudly and sinks his hips into yours. Your pubic hairs touch softly before he pulls away and then slams into you with a loud smack of his skin on your skin. 

“Jesus!” You exclaim but do not whack him because your whole body jolts back away from but then he is pulling you by where he has a grip dug into the soft skin on your lower sides where they dip into your leg. Another second long convulsion and flesh rippling titillation. Then another and another. More. It is endless. “Oh my go– Oh. Oh. Daddyyy.” You whine up to him with your eyes shut tight– your one eye hurts so bad but you do not care, the pleasure is everything you wanted it to be. This is amazing and perfect and you’re so glad it’s Joel. So glad he is the one doing this to you for the first time. “Th-Thank y-you.” You whimper as he really fucks you, his hips never slow down. Never cease their forceful driving into you. 

“Thank me again.” Joel barks an order to you through his pleasure. There is more sweat on his brow and he wipes it away with the back of his hand again and then grips you tighter. His chest is red and glistening as he focuses all of his energy and force on you. Right where your groins adjoin for half a second before he leaves and does it all over again. 

“Thank y-you Daddy Joel, fuck! Thank youthankyouu!!” There are tears in your eyes from the bumbling rapture inside of you. They’re rolling down the side of your face and…you might…be sobbing through your shrill, endless ululations as you tell him you’re coming. “It’s happening…. OH god… fuck Daddy… I’m gonna— I’m coming.” 

“Open yer’ fuckin’ eyes, lil girl.” Joel snaps down at you. “Open yer’ mouth.” You don’t even have to open your eyes to know that his mouth is pressed tightly together when he barks down at you. You manage to open them and look up into his eyes as your orgasm washes over you. You don’t even have to open your mouth because it is already hanging agape, waiting for him and what he loves to give you. 

It’s warm on your tongue and upper lip when you receive it both times. He doesn’t spit it this time, he drips it down to you as he slams his body against yours through your orgasm. You swallow it hungrily and then lick your lips to clean off what he over shot the first time. You gush staring up at him and now his jaw drops open and his rhythmic thrusting turn into sloppy, jagged jerking as your gushing juices send him to ecstasy filled release. 

“I’m gonna come,” Joel sighs breathlessly as his hips snap forward two more times and then he holds himself into you. “Fuck! S’mine. You're mine.” Joel nearly shouts down at you while he comes. Your gush flowing out against him as he does it. It’s dripping down the curve and crack of your ass and soaking the pillows below you. “Fuuck. Fuckk. Yer’ my gushin’ Princess.” Joel stutters once as he fills your pussy for the first time. “Daddy’s Princess.”

You do not fuck Joel all night. Your body gives out after that first good fuck. It’s disappointing but…Joel fucked the life out of you. You are dead against the mattress staring up at the ceiling. You honestly can’t even feel anything, your whole pussy is numb and it aches a little. He fucked you. Fucked you so good. He didn’t kill you with his cock, no…

Joel maybe ruined your life though, because how do you ever get fucked… not like that?  

Get fucked by anyone who is not by Mr. Daddy Joel Miller? No. 

He has done something horrible to you and now you want him to do more treacherous things to you. He might be evil , actually. This is what you get for praying to Satan all this time— as a JOKE . Then he sends you this evil man with a tongue that lashes at you in the best, and worst ways possible. 

Your evil, sonofabitch boyfriend is moaning as he sucks his release out of your cunt, licking at your walls now that he has gaped you with his fucking monster cock– what the fuck? It didn’t look as big as it fucking felt inside you.. 

Joel is laying with his head between your legs. He’s been down there this whole time. Just… licking. It’s been… maybe forty-five minutes since he fucked you for the first time. His hands roam across your stomach and caress you gently. His tongue smears his come along your cunt and clit as he swirls around it. It’s the only part of your pussy that feels good anymore. Sucking and lapping at your dripping and gaping hole like he is desperately trying to get back what he gave to you.

“Ohhh.” Is all you have the energy to say. You can only hum a happy, pleasing sound to him and your hand lazily finds his hair and you twirl your fingers around in it mindlessly as he licks you. He’s not even trying to make you come, not even teasing you… just collecting. And once he has his mouth full, he climbs over your lifeless body and nods his chin for you to open your mouth. You do.  

You stare at him the entire time he leans down and spits into your mouth, not letting you do anything before his mouth is on yours. The mix of your gush and his bitter release does something to give you life. You wrap your arms around his neck and hold him to you as your tongues pass that blend of the both of you back and forth. 

Once you're done with all that– you’re looking at him standing at the edge of your bed. You still haven’t moved. Haven’t been able to. 

“We’re good?” Joel asks seriously. 

“What?” You close your eyes and try to imagine an ice pack on your pussy. 

“You still wanna be with me?” Joel sounds nervous. You cannot even open your eyes to look at that stupid slut. 

“Yes.” You snap at him sleepily. “Shut up. You’re the slut.” You point one, almost ded hand at him. 

“What!?” Joel sounds so shocked. “I’m not!” Now he’s offended. You do open your eyes and look at him now. 

“You’re the slut.” You bark at him and then close your eyes again and talk mostly to yourself. “Fucks like that n’ says he’s not a slut? Fuckin’ lair.” You grumble and roll over onto your side. “Slutty old man.” You are so tired. 

“Because I’ve been with a couple ladies??” Joel exclaims and crawls onto the bed beside you. “I’m not a slut.” 

“You are. Callin’ me a slut the first time we hung out. Mr. I Been With Ladies.” You mock him and he chuckles but it sounds like he didn’t really want to. 

“I only been with you since I met ya. Didn’t give my number out.” Joel teases you back and touches your sides. 

“You’re still a slut and we’re talking in the morning about why you didn’t just leave your ex-wife.” You snap, remembering that you are still actually kind of angry with him. 

“Uuuggghhh.” Joel groans loudly. “I’ll fuckin’ tell ya right now. Then we’re never talkin’ ‘bout her ass again, got it?” He snaps at you. 

“Dish.” You snap back. 

“We got married ‘fore I started my company. I was worried she was gon’ try an’ take all of it. Bankrupt me. Take my house. Eventually– I was worried she’d leave with Sarah. So I just let her hit me.” Joel is… not yelling but he is– excited? Speaking quickly and with gusto. “I was too embarrassed to ask for help, Birdie... Who could help me? Who was I gon’ fuckin' ask? My mom is dead. My dad should'a been, at that point. Tommy is just barely done bein’ a kid… so? I stayed. N’ I fucked up.”

“I’m sorry.” You whisper shyly.

“Don’t fuckin’ be sorry fer' me, you didn’t fuckin' do shit!” Joel exclaims and then his eyes soften. “I’m sorry. I get loud when I’m angry, I’ll work on that shit too. Jesus Christ.” Joel looks at the floor. “No one knows ‘bout my ex. Just her and I. I never told anyone else. Not even Tommy or Sarah.” Joel turns his head to look at you. “Like to keep it that way.”

“Why…not tell people what she did? So they know?” You wrinkle your nose. 

“‘Cause then they’ll know I did it to her. N’ all they’ll see is me… hittin’ his wife. Even though it was only once n’ barely a tap– I did it. I hit her, n’ I hate myself fer’ that.” He admits sadly. “Our dad was fucked up towards the end, but he raised us better than that.” 

“What…was wrong with—” You start but Joel shakes his head. 

“Not gettin’ into that… not now. Maybe not ever. It just wasn’t good. Real bad. He struggled.” Joel says curtly. 

“Alright… I also had an asshole dad, too—” You start but he cuts you off quickly and with a sharp tongue

“My dad wasn’t a fuckin’ asshole, got it?” Joel narrows his eyes on yours. “Not an asshole. I can’t talk ‘bout it, Bird. I don’t like to.” 

“I don’t like talking about my Dad but it fuckin’ helps.” You roll your eyes at him. “Not keepin’ all that shit in…kinda fucking helps sometimes. So, maybe you should go see a therapist. I talk to one all the time.” 

“I’m not goin’ to see no fuckin’ shrink.” Joel scoffs again. He's such a fucking man. Ugh. 

“Whatever. You don’t have to, but it does help and it is good for you. I meant what I said last night… I won’t let you aplogize next time if you ever speak to me like that again…” 

“I know… but now we gotta talk ‘bout something else…” Joel sighs and turns to you. "I was gonna bring it up...n' then you said you were a virgin...n' I thought I was gon' scare you away if I told you the things I like...'cause I don't need 'em. Not at all. I just like 'em...and they're not all...nice." He speaks cautiously-- the taming a rabid animal voice is back and you're shaking.

“What?” You groan but he places his hand on your thigh besides your bruised hand. You almost pull away but it's hard to resist the warmth of him. He's...so handsome. His brown eyes are locked on to yours, his hair is all messy from getting pulled and tugged on by you-- it's sticking in all directions and you have to stop yourself from smirking. He didn't clean up his facial hair at all this morning before work, so he's scruffier than normal. You could reach out and touch him, but it's hard because he's going to tell you scary things right now.

“The things I like can get a lil…” He pauses and searches for the word he needs to use. “Bein’ on the receiving end of what I like can fuck with yer’ head sometimes… if you don’t know yer’ cared for or get mistreated. I do care ‘bout ya. N' I'm sorry 'bout last night.” Joel stresses this point. 

“Okay…” You’re hesitant because what the fuck is your slutty, evil boyfriend talking about. Are you going to have to kick him in the chest like Jackie Harris that one time? Break up with him?

“I like ya more n’ more every day– but I am jus’ a big, strong guy that wants to Dominate ya.”

“Like you have been?” You ask and Joel nods, adding to your statement.

 “N’ then I wanna take ya out… treat ya — ‘cause I can and like to … I call ya sweet things so you know that when I say that— eh, it’s not a show..or fake. I like makin’ you feel all cute n’ special– cause you are, but also ‘cause s’just what I like…”

“Uh… then what?” You blink and swallow audibly. 

“I turn ‘round n’ humiliate you while my cocks inside you.” Joel says simply. “Make you feel naughty n’ dirty. Use yer’ lil fuckin’ pussy however I want, use you. Be real mean to ya sometimes…”

“This is an excuse so you can yell at me?” You roll your eyes and almost think about telling him to leave but he rubs the outside of his pinky against yours. 

“Never. I’m gon’ work on that. I will. Gettin’ angry n’ sayin’ mean shit. I will.” Joel speaks so calmly and evenly. “I just wanna call ya names in the bedroom. Do naughty stuff in there… sometimes let it playfully carry into our relationship too”

“Like? I need you to expla—” Joel hooks his pinky with yours and looks down at it. 

“Remember my promise to you?” He asks quietly. You nod. “Keep that in mind n’ know… that’s how I wanna treat you ninety-nine percent of the time.” 

“The other one perce--?” You ask fearfully but he cuts you off and is ready to tell you.

“Call you terrible fuckin' things, worthless n’ stupid.” Joel whispers softly. “Spit on ya. Fuck you real hard n’ fill your holes– all of ‘em.” His eyes never leave yours. “Fuck you anywhere…everywhere I want.” Joel is still so calm. 

You’re fuckin’ trembling. This sounds..equal parts horrifying and also incredible. Sexy and scary. Right up your alley— dark and horrifying alley. 

“What if I don’t want that? Getting called fuckin’ stupid every day?” You wrinkle your nose. That sounds like it could be... tiring? Mentally? But, you're not stupid and...have a therapist. So, this is something you might explore but... you dunno.

“Don’t gotta. We can just keep doin’ what we’re doin’. I'm used to it bein' normal." Joel shrugs his shoulders. "I enjoy this though. Don't need it-- like it. Like exploring. Like pushin' mine and yer' boundaries... s'kinky." Joel nods then frowns "I haven't been with many who like it-- s'why I'm used to it normal, lil rough. Nothin' craz--"

“Slut!” You snap, cutting him off and Joel snickers softly. 

“Maybe… not anymore though.” He smirks. “I just wanna fuckin’ ruin you, baby girl. Only you.” Joel Miller whispers this to you and your pussy (you thought it was broken, really broken) twinges when he says it. “I mean it. I like it rough…but if you’d let me. I’d like to… try things with ya. Keep showin' you things like I have been.” 

“What if I don’t like some of the things you show me?” Your interest outweighs your fear. 

“‘Kay, now yer’ asking good questions…” He smirks at you and pulls your hand into his lap by your pinky. “Yer’ in control in all this, babe.” He nods. “You don’t like it, I stop. I like watchin’ ya squirm n’ cry… but for the right reasons. I don’t wanna…really hurt you— I do. I wanna spank ya and whip yer’ ass ‘till its red. Smack ya a ‘round a lil…fuck you real good when I do it. Make ya feel good, give you pleasure with yer' pain, baby.” His voice is so comforting that it’s calming even listening talk about he wants to mildly abuse you in the bedroom. 

“I have to decide right now?” You blink at him. 

“You..don’t ever gotta decide nothin’. I like that shit, but I’m not gon’ die without it. I'm just warnin’ ya so I don’t take things too far…on accident or… in misunderstanding.” He leans in and kisses you on the forehead gently. 

“Okay… we can talk about things first, always?” You look up at him and he’s already nodding his head. 

“Do you wanna change outta that lil white thang and go to bed? We’ll getcha coffee and a new phone in the morning?” He whispers. 

“Yeah.”

Then Joel undresses you and gives you the comfiest pair of shorts out of your dresser. Then this stupid, evil Red Devil goes into his ‘spend the night bag’ and gets you a clean t-shirt of his to wear. 

“I have some…” You whisper up to him, but he motions for you to lift your arms and he slips it on for you. 

“I know. Don’t care– want you in this.” He leans down and kisses your lips softly and for a long time before he runs upstairs and performs his little night time routine here at your house. Checking all the doors and windows. 

Joel is…actually perfect? No. He’s angry and is a dick and is making up for that. Unless you already forgave him? You dunno. You honestly can’t even care because you’re asleep before Joel even comes back.

The next morning is interesting. It takes a lot of convincing from your boyfriend. 

“Just for me.” He nods. You shake your head. “My. Eyes. Only.” He nods. 

“Why?” You’re smirking.

“Picture it, okay?” Joel stands besides you and holds his hand out in front of him like he’s trying to get you to see what he’s seeing. “Me…in my truck at work…watchin’ it..thinkin’ ‘bout you… touching mysel—”

“You do that at work!?” You exclaim. He chuckles and smacks your ass. 

“Uh, if I had this yes– I would.” He is already getting his phone out of his jeans from last night. 

“No one’s gonna see it?” You blink at him. Joel scoffs. 

“I’m not sharin’ this with anyone. You fuckin’ nuts?” He pulls a chair up to the end of the bed and messes around with his phone. ‘S’fer me. Me alone.” 

Now, Joel is laying in bed with you. He’s behind you with your back to his chest. Your legs are spread over his and his hard cock is pressed against your back. You're grinding yourself against him, massaging his cock between your bodies as his fingers work on your clit. 

“You like this naughty shit?” he asks softly in your ear. You nod and can only focus on breathing heavily, trying not to look directly into his phone that he set up on a chair at the end of the bed. “Say it.” He growls in your ear. His two thickest and longest fingers are just circling your clit slowly and lazily. 

“I like being naughty, Daddy.” You mewl quietly. Joel’s other hand is gripping one of your tits and thumbing the stiff peak as he rocks his hips up against you gently, moving his body against yours as you drag your body up and down against his slightly. Just an inch or two in each direction. Giving Joel just enough pressure and friction and movement on his throbbing cock between your ass and on your lower back. 

“You like that I need this?” Joel growls, moving his head to the other side of yours now, kissing across your shoulder and up your neck as your sweating bodies glide across each other. “ Gotta have you like this in my pocket, lil girl.” Joel whispers. “So I can see this pretty pussy.” While Joel speaks rubs all four fingers across your cunt slowly. 

“I love it.” You moan softly. 

“You want Daddy to give your pussy a good slap?” He coos in your ear. Honestly, not really. But, you’re going to let him do whatever he wants to you. 

“Please don’t hurt me, Daddy.” You whine nervously. Is he gonna smack it like he did your ass? Joel’s breath hitches in his chest and you feel it happen behind you. His hips buck up into your back gently. “Slap it soft. ” You whisper. Joel sighs and rubs your clit quickly with his four stiff fingers– so quickly. He’s putting so much effort into it, his body stiffens below yours and he leans forward slightly to put more pressure behind his rubbing. 

You are moaning and writhing, eyes closed as he quickly brings you right to that edge. When you’re almost there he pulls his hand away and swiftly brings them down onto your red, slick and puffy cunt lips. It focuses it to the top of your mound where your nerve bundle is. It is a different sensation. The hard, fast, sudden pressure and shock of the slap on your clit makes you moan, it doesn't even hurt at all. 

“Do it again, Daddy.” You press yourself into him and turn your head so your closed eyes are pressed into his neck as he leans over you the best he can. 

“Awhh, the cute, pathetic, lil girl likes gettin’ her pussy slapped? Course you do, ya naughty lil bitch.” Joel laughs softly. "Look at the camera, talk to it." He growls into your ear and gives your mound another soft smack and it’s wet and audible. You turn your head forward and rest it against his shoulder as he lens in and presses his lips to your cheek, kissing you softly. Then he gives you another tight rasp on your pussy. And another. He’s doing it so rapidly, slapping and swatting your clit and not hard enough to hurt, it’s…so good? So fucking good for some reason. Joel and you are still working together, your glistening bodies sliding and slipping against each other. 

“Fuck. I do like it.” You murmur to the camera, your eyes are still clenched and now, you're rocking your hips up to meet his quick, noisy— more than patting but he’s not spanking your cunt like he did last night. The force all comes from his wrist, not his shoulder. It’s incredible and almost reminds you of his shower head but not as wet or warm. Joel growls softly against your cheek and presses his forehead to the side of your skull with slight force. 

"Louder. I wanna hear it." He snaps softly into the soft skin just below your cheekbone. He is grinding up into your back. "I wanna hear you fuckin' say it. Mean it." It's so fierce when he says it, that it almost startles you but... you just talked about all this so you know it's...just a thing. Not mean, not scary. 

"I fuckin' love when you spank my cunt, Daddy. So fuckin' much." You speak with force and it comes out in moans as he chuckles against your cheek and rubs your clit now in between those little, tight rasps of his fingers against you.

"There it is..." Joel kisses your cheek softly as his own moans start to slip from his mouth as he holds you around the waist with his other arm now, moving your body up and down against the front of him. You can feel his movements becoming more desperate as you stroke his cock with ever single move you make. 

"Oh fuck...yes...please don't... stop.The light breeze he makes with his fingers gives you goosebumps on your inner thigh as your legs begin to tremble. “I think– oh god– I… think–” You’re cut off and choked by pleasure as that real bliss and ‘letting go’ feeling builds. 

“Yep. Do it. Gush for Daddy, baby. I wanna see it.” Joel moans loudly as your body moves against him more desperately, searching for more than just his slapping fingers even though he is bringing you there doing that. “C’mon baby. Yer' such a naughty fuckin' girl. Such a pathetic, lil, gushin' girl.” He whispers in your ear. "Yer' fuckin' amazing." The fact that he wants a video of you doing that so he can watch whenever he wants is what sends you there– it’s what makes you gush. 

He gets a clear shot of it happening as his abuse of your clit never ends. He spanks your pussy through your gush and sometimes his fingers slip down so he can touch it as it comes out of you. You’re still moving against him, now shaking and moaning loudly against his neck. You can feel his body working against yours for his own release and you push back against him to give him more pressure. When you do that, he groans softly and pulls his hand away from your spasming pussy. Then his fingers are inside your mouth. 

“Suck.” He moans as his body jerks underneath yours. You lap at his fingers hungrily and taste yourself on him and moan softly. You part his digits with your tongue and run it down the length of each extremity in your mouth, swirling and lapping at his knuckles and then flicking your tongue against the web between his fingers. You’re doing this and Joel is coming between the two of you. His release is trapped between his stomach and your back. “Such a fuckin’ good girl.” 

Joel sits you up and crawls from behind you and grabs his phone off the chair at the end of the bed. He sits beside you and starts to play the video. 

“I don’t wanna watch that. It’s for you.” You roll your eyes as the sounds of your moaning and whimpering fill the room. It makes you blush as Joel teases his cock again, watching what you two just did. He gets halfway through it with a big dumb smile on his face before he turns it off and turns his smile to you now. 

“Why? S’hot as hell. Jeeesus. Yer’ fuckin’ naughty n’ sexy. I like it.” Joel smirks and leans down to kiss you. “We’re makin’ more.” He teases. 

“Fine. I like seeing you—” You point at his face and then to his stomach covered in his milky release. “-- smiling and covered in cum. So, fine.” You blush and he touches your cheek gently.

“I want to do the naughtiest things with you.” Joel whispers. You blink. 

“Like what?” You pur up to him as he rubs his thumb across your lips gently. 

“You’ll see.”

(sorry it took me so long, i'll try and be better.)

tag list: @immyowndefender @korikolove @untamedheart81 @fanficlover1414, @creepycorbeaux @ohmillerbaby @rosebuds-and-moonlight @harriedandharassed

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Candy Cane Lane

Pairing: Bartender!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~3.3k

Warnings: fluff

Summary: It’s Christmas time and that means buying gifts and attending holiday parties with your friends. You and Scott reach an impasse in your relationship, one that you might not be able to get over. Who is right there next to you when it inevitably crumbles? Bucky. He’s always going to be there.

One in a Million Series

Square Filled: free space (2023) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Ah, Christmas. You love the holiday season. Every year back home, you and your parents would decorate the house as much as you could and even put fake snow inside to make it feel like a Winter Wonderland. You’re flying back to your family, Bucky is flying home to New York to be with his sister, Steve is staying inside the loft, and Sam is sailing out to his friends who are living at sea for the next couple of months.

To celebrate the year and to the employees who have done such great work, Disney is throwing a huge office party right before the holidays, and you’re all invited. Steve got the invite a month ago, and you’ve been preparing for it since. There’s just last-minute shopping you need to do because, for the life of you, you don’t know what to get Scott for Christmas.

You two have been dating for just over a month so it’s nothing too serious but you can tell Scott has strong feelings for you. You’re just not sure about your feelings for him. He’s coming off a little too strong for your tastes, but maybe this is what you need to move on from Bucky. He’s been plaguing your dreams as of late. It’s like no matter what you do, who you kiss, or what you tell yourself, he’s the main character in your mind.

At this point, he should be paying rent from how much he’s living inside your head.

The party is this weekend so you only have two days to go shopping for a gift for Scott. He’s going to be at the party and you figured you could exchange gifts while you’re there. What do you get someone you’ve been seeing for a month that you kind of like but are hung up on another man?

You walk out of your room and see all three roommates inside the kitchen munching on the pie you made.

“Hey, that was supposed to be for tonight,” you say. All three of them look up like they’re kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. “Whatever. Look, I need help. Can you guys come with me to go last-minute shopping? Please?” Bucky looks like he’d rather do anything else, Sam looks at the ceiling to avoid your eyes, and Steve takes another slow bite of the pie. “I’ll buy you food.”

A chorus of “Yeah, alright” goes around, and you grin in triumph. The mall is packed with people rushing to get presents and families with kids shouting and complaining that they’ve been out too long. Steve and Sam break off from the group to find the best food places while you and Bucky browse the many stores.

“So, I thought you got all of your shopping done.”

“I did. I don’t have a gift for Scott.”

“You’re getting him a present? You’ve only been dating a month.”

You look at him with big eyes. “Should I not get him one?

Bucky loves how big your heart is. “No, no, I think it’s nice you’re getting him something. What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know. I think jewelry is out of the question. I think a watch is too big. I can get him something practical. Maybe a coffee maker? I always go overboard with presents, especially when I don’t know the person that well. It’s either too big or not big enough. I need your help.”

“Come on, I know you, Y/N. You already had a present in mind. What was it?”

“Fine,” you sigh. You take out a card from your purse. “It was a certificate for piping hot sex, but now I’m not so sure.”

Bucky takes the card from you and grins as he reads it. “I’m keeping this. This is great.”

“No, you’re not!” You try to grab it but he holds it just out of reach. He moves the card up higher when you start to jump for it, but he’s too damn tall. You fall against Bucky in laughter, and he holds you by your waist to keep you steady. You look into his eyes with a sultry gaze, and his arm lowers just slightly enough for you to grab the card. “Ha!”

“Alright, alright,” Bucky smirks.

You two walk into a store that sells all kinds of things like clothing, toys, shoes, jewelry, etc.

“Okay, if you were my boyfriend, what would you want?” you ask before you can stop yourself.

Bucky pauses in thought. He knows what he would want. Instead, he’s thinking about how you said my boyfriend and not a boyfriend. Do you even like Scott as much as you say you do? He often wonders what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours.

“Well, I’d want another motorcycle helmet. Mine is getting pretty worn down, and the lenses are getting scratched.”

You walk around the store as you talk, and you notice something in one of the aisles. You grab the box of magnets and hold them up to him with a smile. “How about I get these so you can decorate your arm?”

Bucky looks away with a smile. Another twenty minutes inside the store, and you find the perfect gift for Scott. A plush realistic heart that throbs as it pumps blood, and it even makes a squishy noise that represents the blood flowing through it. It’s perfect for a science teacher who specializes in anatomy. By the time you two are done, Steve and Sam already have a food place picked out.

“So, did you find something?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, with Bucky’s help.”

“Good luck to Scott. Bucky is the worst gift giver, ever.”

“I don’t know. He’s not all bad,” you grin at Bucky.

After a nice lunch, you start the drive back to the apartment. It’s a straight shot but you decide to take the scenic route through the neighborhood that shows off all of their lights. It’s called Candy Cane Lane. All of the houses already have started decorating and will be done by tonight.

“Why are we here, Y/N?” Bucky asks.

“I wanted to show you this place. It’s a whole festival of lights that they do every year. It’s beautiful, and I really want to see this before we all go to the airport.”

“I don’t think I can come to this. It’s imperative that don’t miss this flight. My sister is going to kill me if I do.”

“Oh, okay,” you say.

Yes, you’re sad that you might not be able to show this to Bucky but you’re not going to let him miss his flight.

“Is Natasha going?” Steve asks.

“Yes,” you smirk. “She’ll be right over as soon as she finishes a showing on a house. Did you get something for her?”

“Maybe,” Steve mumbles.

You get back home and text Scott to come over. You’d rather give him his gift now than wait until the party. If he hates it, at least only you will know. Bucky watches you walk off with your eyes on your phone, and he sighs to himself. He breaks apart from the group and walks into his room. The only person to who he hasn’t given a gift yet is you. He’s not sure if he’s ever going to give it to you, not when you’re with Scott.

Bucky opens the small box to reveal a necklace that has your birthstone on it. It’s a stone that’s wrapped in a vine-like fashion that then turns into the chain. He doesn’t know why he got this knowing you two aren’t dating. All he knows is that he took one look at it and knew it belonged on your neck.

An hour goes by before Scott comes over. You immediately take him to your room so that you can have some privacy.

“I hope this isn’t too forward but I got you something for Christmas.”

“I got you something, too,” he smiles.

He pulls out an envelope and you pull out the small gift bag the heart is in. You seem surprised at the envelope but take it nonetheless. Scott waits patiently for you to open your gift first, so you open the envelope in curiosity. They’re tickets. Once your brain comprehends what’s in your hands, you feel your body stiffen.

“Wow. Music festival tickets in Copenhagen. I don’t know what to say. Thank you,” you stutter. “I feel like an asshole for what I got you now.” Scott opens his present and gasps when he sees the plush heart. “I know, it’s nothing like this, but--”

“I love it,” he smiles. “It’s funny and quirky and sweet, just like you. That’s why I love it.” He doesn’t miss a beat when he says, “I love you.”

All the blood drains from your face. Scott pulls you into a hug and rubs your back, but you can barely move. Uncomfortable silence fills the room. Say something! Scott is waiting for you to say something!

“Thank you,” you say awkwardly and pat his back.

What the fuck. Out of all the things you could have said, you just had to say ‘thank you’? If Scott never knew how you felt, he does now. You like him, kind of, but you don’t love him. He left right after you exchanged gifts and will meet you at the party later. Bucky immediately knew something was wrong when you didn’t say a single word on the ride to the party. He wants to ask you about it but he knows it’s best to wait for you to come to him.

Steve and Natasha are already in the lobby when you arrive. He left to give her her present and they rode here together.r They might be dating, you’re not sure. Natasha would have told you otherwise but she hasn’t. They’re cute together and you know Steve won’t break her heart like all the other guys before, and Natasha is definitely going to make Steve work for it.

Natasha tucks her hair behind her ear, giving you a great view of the earrings you got her. “You’re wearing my present!” You pull her in for a hug and immediately get a noseful of a strong perfume. “Oh, my God, what is that smell?”

“The perfume Steve got me.”

“Oh, how nice of him,” you nod.

Scott shows up minutes later, but the air is awkward and thick. Bucky looks between you two but can’t quite put his finger on what might have happened. Did he say something? Did you? Did he do something? He’ll beat him the fuck up if he hurt you.

Once everyone gets here, you head upstairs to where the party is. There are already a lot of people here, so it’s easy to distract yourself from your situation with Scott.

“Hey, I’ll be right back. I’m going to get some drinks for us.”

“Okay,” he nods.

You’re already walking away before he can get the word out. Instead of getting drinks, you immediately hide in the corner where you can see everything. You’ll be able to see if Scott is coming or not. ‘Thank you’ is one of the worst responses when someone says they love you. You wanted to say it back but you can’t say something you don’t feel.

“Hiding?” You look up and notice Bucky standing right next to you. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.”

“Oh, hey, Buck.”

“Why are you hiding? What happened between you and Scott?”

“He told me he loved me, but I can’t say it back so I said ‘thank you’. I don’t know what to do now,” you sigh. “I have always been the one to love more. I love so much but I can’t seem to get there with him. It’s not even about love at this point. I want to like him but I just… don’t. Not as much as I should, anyway.”

“If you don’t have feelings for him, you have to tell him?”

“This is the worst time of year to break up with someone. First, there’s Christmas, then New Year’s, then Valentine’s Day, and then President’s Day.”

“It’s hard to argue with that logic,” he nods. “Still, you’ll hurt him more if you don’t.”

“Okay, I will. Thanks, Bucky.”

You leave his side in search of Scott when you see Natasha go into the ladies’ room. You turn and follow her inside the bathroom. She’s at the sink wiping some wet paper towels onto her skin.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to wipe off this perfume stench. Steve is sweet but this stinks.”

“He really likes you.”

“I know.”

“Do you like him?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I could.”

“He’s a good guy, Nat. I don’t want to see him hurt.”

“I know.” You two slide down the wall and sit on the tile away from the door. “So, do you want to tell me what’s going on with you and Scott?” You look at her and she rolls her eyes. “Come on, you can barely look at him.”

“He told me he loves me but I couldn’t say it back. Me. I don’t know. Maybe I should just make it work. I can learn to love him, right? He’s sweet.”

“Being sweet isn’t enough to keep someone around. Love is. If you don’t love him, he should know so he can find someone who does.”

“It’s only been a month, Nat. He shouldn’t be in love already.”

“Some people love harder than others.”

“Yeah. I’ll break up with him after the holidays. I’m not a monster.” You get up and pull the door open. “You still stink, by the way.”

You smirk when you hear her curse. You’re not sure what time it is since your phone died, but the party is still crowded with people so it can’t be that late. You pass by the balcony and notice Bucky and Scott outside hugging. Bucky is not a hugger. You push the door open and pop your head out.

“What’s going on here? Why are you guys hugging?”

They pull away from each other and Scott looks like someone punched his puppy right in front of him, and Bucky looks like he’s in pain… emotional pain.

“We’re just… talking,” Scott says.

“Talking?” You look at Bucky. “You hate talking.”

“Yeah, we’re talking about… about sports.”

There is a pause between all three of you, and you look at Bucky. He takes one look at those big beautiful eyes and folds immediately. He has to come clean.

“That’s a lie,” Bucky sighs. “I told him you didn’t love him.”

“What?” you gasp. “Bucky!”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Scott tries to say.

“No, it’s not okay. You had no business telling him that!” you yell. “What the hell!”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just gonna…” Bucky walks to the balcony door and tries to open it but it won’t budge. “No, come on. This is my nightmare. Come on!”

“We should talk,” Scott sighs.

“Yeah.”

You and Scott sit down on the bench while Bucky still tries to get inside the office. He doesn’t want to break the glass so he continually knocks on it in hopes someone will hear it.

“Bucky shouldn’t have told you that but it’s true. I… don’t love you.”

“Okay,” Scott nods slowly. “So, what now?”

“Look, I like you. I do, but I guess I’m just a bit overwhelmed. It’s only been a month, Scott.”

“I understand. I know about your relationship with Jack, and I respect those boundaries, but I thought we were feeling the same thing for each other.”

“We were… we are, but I think you’re feeling them more than me.” Bucky knocks against the glass noisily, and you glare at him. “Sit down and shut up, Bucky. This is your fault.” He frowns but does what he’s told. “Look, Scott, I got hurt and I’m trying really hard not to get hurt again.”

The tension is cut with the ringing of Bucky’s phone. You and Scott look at Bucky who has a red face of embarrassment. He takes out his phone and sees his sister, Rebecca, calling him.

“I’m sorry. Just one second.” Bucky answers the call. “Hey, Bec. … Yeah, I’ll be there … No, don’t worry. … Seriously, I’ll be there. I still have time. I gotta go. … Okay, bye.” He looks at you. “Continue.”

“We can keep going but I think we should take it slow.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Oh, come on,” Bucky groans. “How hard is it to take it slow?”

“Bucky,” you growl.

“Yeah, I’ll shut up.”

“I don’t want to slow down… Not with you. It’s not what I want. If you need to, I don’t think I can do this with you.”

“So, I guess this is it, right?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay,” you nod.

Suddenly, the balcony door opens and Sam pops his head outside. “Have any of you seen a small child running around?”

“Yes! Sam, you’re my hero!”

Bucky jumps up and dashes inside, and you sigh. After this, you’re not in a partying mood anymore. Candy Cane Lane is also well past closing so all there is left to do is go home and prepare for your flights. You, Bucky, Sam, Natasha, and Steve are in one car with Bucky driving. He keeps looking over at you with your head on the window. It’s his fault for running his big mouth and he’s not going to keep disappointing you.

“What flight leaves at 1 am?” Sam asks.

“The kind I can afford,” Bucky answers. Again, Bucky sneaks a peek at you. He can’t end the night like this. “There’s something we gotta do first.”

Bucky does a complete one-eighty and drives in the opposite direction of the airport.

“What are you doing?”

Bucky doesn’t answer until he gets to Candy Cane Lane, but all the lights are off. “I screwed up everything. We were supposed to come to this.”

You get out of the car just like everyone else and stare down the dark and desolate road.

“Let’s just go home, Bucky.”

“No, this is Christmas. We came to see the lights.”

“What are you going to do? It’s one in the morning.”

“Hey! Turn on your lights!” Bucky takes off toward one of the houses and knocks on the door rapidly. “Come on, I got a girl out here that wants to see the lights!” A slight smile makes its way to your face. “Turn on the lights!”

Steve, Sam, and Natasha join in and yell at the top of their lungs to turn the damn lights on. You’re the only one who is silent because you can’t stop looking at Bucky. ONe by one, the lights turn on and the inflatables start to rise again. In this moment, everything disappears until the only person you can see is Bucky.

He walks over to you and smiles softly and with adoration. He reaches into his breast pocket and pills out a small box and hands it over to you.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

You open it to reveal your birthstone encased in vines that make up the rest of the chain. You gasp and touch the stone delicately as if it will shatter under your touch.

“I love it so much. Thank you.”

You pull him in for a hug, and he slides his hands down your back. He did a dick thing by telling Scott how you feel, but he is most certainly making up for it now. You pull back from Bucky only enough to create only a few inches of space between you two. He glances down at your lips but doesn’t make a move.

“You’re welcome.”

x

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Corruption/ 1

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word count- 5.1k

Includes- Nerdy virgin Hwa, blow job, deepthroating, pussy eating, cum eating, cock riding, corruption, multiple orgasms

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13 @mknae-jongho @bykeynote @amyz78 @blueie-things @ultrapinkvoidbouquet @armystayluv23 @soso59love-blog @annalynsworld

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Corruption Masterlist

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Gif Credit- There's a symbol or something in the corner of the gif that I can't make out. If someone knows the creator let me know and I'll link them

J POV

"Yes, oh fuck yes", the woman on the screen yells

Seonghwa sits with his eyes wide behind his glasses and his mouth dropped while I smirk at him

"Is she-"

"Coming in his mouth? Yeah", I answer

I had no idea that Seonghwa was home when I decided to watch some porn and get off

Luckily I just turned it on and hadn't started undressing when he walked in asking about the moaning

His eyes hit the TV and he looked so surprised and immediately blushed

I made a joke about him never seeing porn before to cover up my embarrassment and he admitted that he's never watch any

Needless to say my jaw fell to the floor

I mean it's not unbelievable

Seonghwa is totally clueless about sex

I figured that out when his mom dated then married my dad four years ago

We were both 21 and thrown together, suddenly step siblings

Although he's never felt like a step brother

More like a shy, nerdy, clueless friend

He even offered to move out of our parents home and into this apartment with me so I'm not solely responsible for bills and rent

Don't get me wrong he's really nice and sweet but he's sheltered, socially awkward and completely dumb about sex

Which is surprising because he's totally hot

Beautiful

But he so doesn't know it

Anyway, I invited him to watch with me and to my shock he sat on my bed, his eyes glued to the screen

"In...his mouth?", he gapes

I nod, "Yeah"

"What uh...what does he do with it?"

I raise my eyebrow, "Swallows it"

"Oh", he says, his cheeks reddening

"Do you wanna stop watching?"

He shakes his head, "I'm ok"

I shrug

Fine by me

The couple on the porn move, her now giving him a blow job

As the scene progresses, Seonghwa pushes up his glasses, his hand shaking slightly

I watch him as the video goes on, liking how nervous he is

Also liking how awed he is at seeing two people have sex

I know his mom is nuts about sex, keeping him in the dark about it, telling him it's bad and to only do it if you want to have kids

I know, she tried the same shit with me when our parents married asking if I was a virgin, shaming me for not being one while proudly stating that Seonghwa is

I honestly have no idea if he is or not but I basically told her to shove it

Yeah, she doesn't like me much

She also is so mad that Seonghwa chose to move out of the house and blames me

Like I'm gonna force him to join a sex cult and have massive amounts of orgies or something

I have no clue how my dad handles her but love makes you deal with stupid things

The guys in the video groans as he cums inside the woman, then he pulls out and the camera does a close up of her pussy dripping his cum

As per usual

When the video ends, I go back to the home site then look over at Seonghwa

He's swallowing hard, his hands over the tent in his pants, trying to push it down

I wonder if he even jerks off

Nevertheless this is the perfect time to lightly tease him and find out about his virgin status

"So have you watched porn before at all?"

His whole face turns red as he answers, "Nnn..not on my own. Once when my friends made me"

Probably Hongjoong and Wooyoung

They're horny little shits, always hitting on me when they're over

I've considered fucking them but I don't want to make things weird for Seonghwa

He was nice enough to move in with me, I don't want him to feel like he can't has his friends over because his horny stepsister will try to fuck them

"Oh. Did you like this one?"

"I uh...well...I...", he stammers, "Yeah"

I nod

For me it was fine

Standard porn

I was just gonna get off quickly then nap so I didn't need anything too kinky

I decided to tease him further

"What part did you like the most?"

He keeps his eyes firmly on my blanket when he says, "I uh...when he.... licked her"

I smirk, "So when he ate her cunt"

I saw him lick his lips a few times while that was happening

His eyebrows shoot up, "Is that what it's called?"

"Yeah. Eating pussy or going down on someone. Or oral. You can call it whichever"

"Oh...I didn't know that", he murmurs, his sheltered life showing, "They...never told me what it was called"

I'm guessing he means his friends

"Have you ever-", I start, curious, but stop when he shakes his head

"I've never...done anything. Not even kissed anyone yet"

I'm fucking shocked

He hasn't even kissed yet?

He's a virgin virgin

Jesus

"You never liked anyone enough to kiss them?"

He shakes his head, "It's not that. It's just I was so worried about it, worried I'd mess up. I'm not really good with girls. And now it's pathetic to tell any girl that a 25 year old man has never kissed anyone and doesn't know how"

Ok now I feel sorry for him

He has to be so in his head about it and now he's scared

"Hwa don't worry about that. The right girl...she won't care that you don't know how to kiss. The right girl will teach you. Just remember that ok?"

He nods, still avoiding eye contact

This conversation took a serious turn and I need to steer it back to a light mood

"So what about the blow job part?"

"What uh...what about it?"

"Did you like seeing that? The girl sucking his dick, choking on it?"

"I uh..yes...the...the sounds...we're uh...nice...when she...choked"

And I see the perfect opportunity to corrupt my dorky step brother

Not gonna lie, I always wanted him

Wanted to fuck him senseless

And this is perfect

Of course if he doesn't want to do anything I won't force him

I'm not like his mom thinks

But I can offer

"Do you...wanna try that?", I ask

His eyes snap to mine, shock in them along with desire, "Try what?"

"A blow job"

"A..a...bbb...blow.."

"Job", I finish for him, "I just...I noticed you're hard and it can't be comfortable. I can take care of it for you"

"You...you can?"

I nod, "I can suck your dick for you. Make those choking sounds you like. Make you cum in my mouth and swallow all of it"

I see his cock twitch in his pants and I refrain from smirking

"I...uh...I don't...I don't....know...what if ..uh.. someone finds out?"

I think he means his mom

"Hwa, no one will find out. I won't tell anyone. We can keep it a secret", I tell him, "The only way anyone would know is if you say something"

"I..I won't", he answers, his eyes pleading with me and I don't think he knows what he's pleading for

He's not thinking, just horny

"So yes?"

He nods rapidly, "Yes. Ok"

"Ok", I smile encouragingly at him, "Lay back"

He slowly leans back against my headboard, sitting up enough so he could clearly see me suck his cock

I slide my hands up his legs, hooking my fingers in his sweatpants

His breathes get harder and harder as I slide the pants down

He automatically lifts his behind up so I can get them down and I smirk at his eagerness

I pull them off and throw them on the floor

Moving between his legs, I lean down and kiss along his cock through his boxers, feeling it twitch against my lips

Fuck, he feels big

I start pulling his boxers down, eager to be face to face with his cock

I waited a long time for this

Getting them off quickly, I move my gaze to his dick and oh fuck

Huge

Fucking huge

Long and thick, nice curve to it

And so fucking hard, straining and crying cum

I literally don't think I've seen a cock this hard before

"Oh Hwa", I murmur, moving my hand around him, pressing a kiss to his underside, "You're so big Hwa"

"I uh...I am?", he asks, so unsure

"Oh yeah baby", I tell him, then lick up from his base to his head, a soft moan coming from him

A moan that makes me so much wetter than I already am

"Your cock is long", I say, licking up again, "And so fat. You're gonna make me choke so good"

"Oh god", he murmurs, his legs already shaking

He's not lasting long

"But before I suck on you, I need a taste", I smirk, then lick along his slit, his cum on my tongue

I collect as much as I can then swallow it

Fucking good

"Mmm Hwannie. You taste so yummy", I praise him

I glance up at him, pleased to see him fucked out already, his eyes on my mouth by his dick

"Do you like seeing me lick your pretty cock?", is sk, kicking again

He nods, "Yeah"

"Want me to suck?"

He nods

"Words Hwa. Tell me what you want"

"Please Jo, sss...suck my cock"

Gotta admit, hearing him talk like that is such a turn on

He's normally so dorky, I don't think I've ever heard him curse before

So this is so hot

Moving my mouth around his head, I press my tongue to the underside and suck once

"Oh god...oh my....God", he groans and I take that as a cue to suck more

Hollowing out my cheeks, I suck on his pretty head, his slit already leaking so much in my mouth

I know he's not gonna last so I move down his cock more and more with each suck

Normally I'd take my time, go down his length slowly but I don't want him to cum without deepthroating him

He's louder now, letting out sexy moan after moan as I go down his entire shaft, his cock nestled in my throat

I choke around his dick, spit flowing everywhere, tears in my eyes

God, he's big

I slide back down his length to half way, then bob up taking him back in, his cock sliding down into my throat, making me choke again

God, I love this

I bob up and down fast, fucking my throat on his fat cock, watching his fingers twist in my sheets so hard his knuckles are white

"Oh my god, Jo..oh god....feels so good....fuck"

It's the "fuck" that sends chills down my spine, my eyes moving up to him, blinking the tears away

His face is in so much pleasure, biting his lip hard as he watches me go hard on his length

He's so fucking beautiful it's stupid

I take his hand off the sheet and put it in my hair

I'm craving to feel him pull it

He looks at me with a question in his eyes and I nod

His hand tightens immediately in my strands, holding on but not pulling

I tug on his arm, showing him what I want

"Yyy...you want me to pull your hair?"

I nod, slipping up and down his cock

"Ok", he whispers

I take him all in, sucking hard around his entire dick and he cries out in pleasure, his hand tugging hard on my hair involuntarily

I moan around his length, so turned on, so fucking wet, my panties are complete soaked through

"Oh my god. I can't....I..I think....I'm..", he trails off

I move faster, choking over and over, his cock throbbing in my throat

"Oh fuck, Joanne! Fuck", he cries as his hot cum spills down my throat, his entire body shaking from pleasure, the sound of my name in his voice driving me crazy

I bottom him out, sucking desperately, tasting his sweet cum and swallowing greedily

Goddamn, he cums a lot but I make sure I swallow all of it

When he finishes, I pull off him, licking along his slit to make sure I get all of his cum

Moving my eyes up to him, I smirk at the completely fucked out look on his face

I sit next to him, softly running my fingers in his silky black hair

His eyes move to mine as he smiles weakly

"How was it?"

"So fucking good", he murmurs

"Yeah?"

He nods, "Absolutely"

"Good"

I'm glad I could make him feel good

I give him a few minutes to bathe in the post orgasm bliss

He needs it

I have no clue if he ever jerked off and orgasmed before

But at least I know I'm the first one who's given him an orgasm

I like that

I feel his hand on mine, taking me out of my thoughts and I turn to him

He looks at me nervously

"Can I see....uh...", he trails off, his eyes moving down to my crotch

"My pussy?", I ask excitedly

He nods, blushing again, "Uh yeah"

I shrug, "Sure"

Moving off my bed, I drop my shorts and my panties to the floor

His eyes widen as they look directly at my cunt, him sitting up straighter

I smirk, getting on the bed again, facing him this time

"Wanna see more?", I ask

He nods

I lean back and open my legs for him

He gasps, his eyes widening as he looks

His hands moves around my thighs, as he moves closer, a move I'm not sure he knows he made

"Pretty", he murmurs, making me giggle

Taking his hand, I slowly bring it towards me, putting it on my pussy, pressing his fingers against me, moaning softly at finally feeling his touch

His breath hitches, making me smile

"Mm Hwa", I whimper, "Do you feel how wet I am for you?"

His eyes snap to mine, "Fffff...for me?"

I nod, holding his gaze, "All for you"

"I uh ..wow"

"Touch me", I ask

"I..I don't...I don't know how", he says, sounding so sad

"I'll show you", I tell him, putting my hand over his and guiding him

His fingers run up my cunt and I press them into my clit, moving them in a circle

"Mmm Hwa", I moan, "So good"

I move my hand from his, letting him play with my clit for a bit

I have to say, he's a fast learner, playing with me so blissfully

I look up at him, watching him look at my cunt, his tongue licking his lips slowly

And I get an idea

"Wanna taste my pussy?", I ask nonchalantly

"Yes", he answers immediately, his head nodding like a bobble head doll, "Can you show me what to do?"

"Yeah baby", I answer, moving his hand and putting it on my thigh

"Lick here", I tell him, moving my fingers up my cunt

He nods, taking his glasses off and putting them on my nightstand

He leans down, his tongue on me and he immediately licks up quickly, shivers running up my back

"Slower Hwannie"

He nods, "Ok"

His tongue moves again, this time listening and going slow

"Should I uh ..press harder?"

I nod, "Yeah"

He does exactly that, pressing against my cunt, licking right up between my lips then back down, over and over

"Mmmm", I moan, the pleasure so good, "A little faster"

He listens, doing what I ask and I'm amazed that he's such a good listener

"Where..where your fingers were...", I trail off

"Yeah?", he murmurs

"Lick there"

He nods, the tip of his tongue swiping against my clit over and over

"Yes Hwa", I moan louder, the pleasure increasing so much, "Yes baby, just like that. Fuck"

His tongue now flicks my clit back and forth, a new blissful sensation taking over my body

God he's doing such a good job

His tongue moves in different ways, flicking, swiping, using his whole tongue then just the tip to give me amazing pleasure

I look down to find him already looking up at me, as if he's studying which tongue movement is best, which is my favorite

They're all my favorite

His tongue is just...fuck

"Fuck Hwa", I whimper, "God, you're tongue baby. Fuck, it's so fucking good. You're so good"

He whimpers against my pussy, his tongue moving faster and on his own he tugs my clit in his mouth and starts sucking

Softly at first, stars blasting in my eyes as I scream in pleasure

"Seonghwa!", I yell, my hand burying in his hair, holding on tightly, "Yes baby fuck. Don't stop. Please, don't stop"

His hands push my legs open more, his mouth moving, the sight of his jaw moving as he sucks so fucking hot

The pleasure builds as he slurps around my clit and I let the feel of his mouth around me wash over me, ready to fucking snap

"Keep going Hwa. Just like that", I moan, my hips moving on their own, fucking his face, "I'm gonna cum. Fuck, I'm gonna cum in your mouth"

He sucks hard and I'm thrown head first into a massively pleasurable orgasm, screaming his name as I pull his hair hard

"Seonghwa!", I cry, feeling so fucking good, "Seonghwa! Fuck Seonghwa!"

He sucks me through it, my hips snapping against his face, my legs shaking around his head

Once I relax into the bed, his mouth let's go of my clit but his tongue buries in my pussy licking desperately

"Mmm", he moans, swallowing my cum, soft pleasure humming through me

He licks a few more times then sits up, his cheeks so red, avoiding my eyes

"Hwa", I call softly, patting the bed next to me

He shyly moves next to me, laying down and I turn to him, smiling when I notice his dick is hard

Again

Oh yeah, this is great

I put my hand on his chest, running it down his shirt towards his dick

"Oh Hwa. What happened?", I ask, looking at his length

His eyes follow mine and he swallows hard, silent

"Did you get hard from eating my pussy?", I ask softly

He nods shyly as I wrap my hand around his hard length

So hard, skin so soft

"Did you like it that much?", I tease

He nods again, "So much. You...you taste really good"

I smile at him, "Thanks baby. You taste good too remember?"

"I uh...I...uh", he trails off, nodding

I swear I've never seen Seonghwa blush so much

It's adorable

"So what are we going to do about this?", I ask, glancing down at his cock as I start stroking him

"I don't...I uh I don't know"

"Hmmmm....well....I have an idea", I tell him, getting excited

And so wet from the thought of it

"What is it?", he asks curiously

God, I hope he goes for it

"I can fuck you"

His breath hitches, his eyes finally looking up and meeting my gaze

"You...you can?"

I nod, "I can sit on your dick, slip you inside my pussy and bounce on your cock. Like the girl in the video did when she rode the guy"

His eyes are wide as plates as he stares at me but his cock throbs in my hands as soon as the words are out of my mouth

"Would you like that Hwa? Would you like me to ride you?"

He nods rapidly, "Yes...do you...do you want to?"

"Do I want to be on your dick, riding you hard and coming around your cock? Feeling you cum in my pussy?", I whisper, smiling, "Yeah baby, I want that a lot"

He nods

"Words Hwannie"

"I want you to ride my cock"

Thank fucking god

"Ok baby"

Climbing in his lap, I sit on him, my hands on his shirt, "But first, I need you naked"

"I uh...ok", he stammers

"Sit up for me for a second"

He does and I eagerly pull his shirt up and throw it on the floor

Putting my hands on his chest, I gently push him down, my eyes raking down his body

And my god, what a body it is

His chest is muscular, his skin super soft as I touch him

His heart is beating so fast making me smile

He has upper arm muscles too, which is a huge turn on for me

I love guys' arms and Seonghwa's are perfect

As my eyes travel down, my mouth opens slightly seeing his abs

Like hard abs cut into his skin

How the fuck?

"Oh my god Hwa"

"Www...what?"

"You're a total hottie", I compliment

"I uh...what...I...ah... really?"

He's looking at me with such shock in his eyes

I nod, my fingers tracing his abs, "Oh yeah. I'm surprised you're still a virgin with a body like this"

"Uh...is that...doesn't that mean I'm....a .. loser? Because I'm still a virgin and uh "hot?""

I snap my gaze to him, "No Hwa, of course not. Who told you you're a loser for being a virgin?"

"Uh...well...Wooyoung and uh.."

"Hongjoong?", I finish and he nods, "Don't listen to those idiots Hwa. I like that you're a virgin"

Oh god do I

And if he allows it, I get to take it from him

"You do?"

"Oh yeah", I smirk, "Means I get to show you just how good you can feel. It means I get to have you first, make you cum and fill a pussy first. You liked the blow job didn't you?"

"So much", he nods

"You liked eating me out right? I mean you got hard from it"

"I...I liked going down on you more than the blow job", he says, then his eyes widen, "Not that the blow job wasn't amazing because-"

"Shh Hwa", I giggle, "You're allowed to like what you like ok? It's ok if you liked eating cunt more than getting your dick sucked. Most girls just do blow jobs to get oral from the guy"

"Is...is that why you-"

"Nope", I answer, knowing where he's going with this, "I like sucking dick Hwa. A lot. And I like swallowing cum. I don't give blow jobs to get anything back"

I lean over him, my mouth close to his ear, "And your cum is the best I've ever tasted"

"Uh...thanks", he chokes out

I nod, "Sure baby. How about we see if you like sex more than eating cunt?"

"Ok, but uh...can you...uh", he trails off, tugging on my shirt

"Oh yeah, of course", I answer, smiling, "Wanna see my boobs huh?"

"Yyy...yes", he answers truthfully

I nod, pulling my shirt off, his mouth dropping

Reaching behind me, I undo my bra, slide it down my arms then discard it and my shirt to the floor

When I look back at him, his eyes are huge again, his mouth wide open, his hands reaching out for my boobs

He stops just shy of touching me but I'm not having it

Grabbing his wrists, I pull his hands to me and push them on my boobs

"Oh fuck", he moans, my pussy clenching hearing him curse

His hands squeeze my boobs over and over, my nipples hard against his palm

"You're so....pretty", he whispers, his eyes drinking me in

His hands move down, his long fingers touching my body, tracing the tattoos I have when he gets to them

"You're perfect", he murmurs, shocking me, "Perfect"

Fuck, I need him inside me right now

I rise on my knees, aligning his cock to my hole, "Ready Hwannie?"

He nods, his hands moving back to the bed, palms flat against the sheets

I'll have to fix that when I'm sitting on his cock

He definitely needs to touch me

I sit on his fat head, a soft moan already out of his mouth

I push down, sliding him inside me slowly, letting both of us feel everything

His huge cock pushes into me, spreading me open so pleasurably

I clench on his cock over and over as I move down, sucking him in

"Oh god, oh my god", he cries, intense pleasure on his face

"Mm yeah Hwa, feels so good", I murmur, moving my hips in a circle as I go down his shaft, opening my pussy just a little more for him to fit in

"So good", he whines, "Oh shit"

I finally bottom him out, his head right against my spot, his cock so fat that there's no room to spare

A super snug fit that feels incredible

I rock on his dick, making his head rub my spot, sending shivers up spine

"Fuck", he pants as I reach for his hands and put them on my hips

"How does it feel?", I ask him, grinding on his cock, "How does my pussy feel?"

"So good!", he blurts, "It's so....wet. So warm. And tight. Are you supposed to be this tight?"

I smile, "Well, I've been told I'm tight before but your cock is also fucking huge Hwannie. You make me stretch around you and fill me so much"

"Does...does it hurt?"

I smile at his concern while he's practically unraveling underneath me, "No baby, it doesn't hurt. It feels good"

I slide up his dick then back down, his whimper so pretty

"Don't you feel how snug we are baby? How your big cock stuffs my pussy so perfectly?"

"Yes", he yells, "Yes, oh god"

I open my legs wide, leaning back on his legs, starting to bounce on his cock

I let the pleasure of his dick fill me- the drag of his shaft as he leaves my pussy, the full feeling of him sliding back in, the spark of ecstasy when his head hits my spot

I lean my head back, bouncing slowly but taking him in deep, hard

"Oh my god", I moan, in so much pleasure, "Fuck Seonghwa"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck", he chants

"Oh god, you're cock is so good", I whine, moving a bit faster, my pussy pulsing around his throbbing cock, "So hard for me. Feels so good Hwa"

I'm not lying

He fits inside me perfectly, making me spread around him so pleasurably, throwing my whole body into blissful shivers

I've never felt this good from sex before

It's been amazing but this...this is mind blowing

"Oh fuck", he cries, "Your pussy...so much....white...are you supposed to be..."

"Creamy?", I finish, moving my head, looking at him

His eyes are glued to my pussy riding his cock, his tongue poking out at the side of his mouth as he pants, sweat drenching his gorgeous body, his wet hair plastered to his face

He's so fucking ethereal, so fucking beautiful and he has no clue

"My pussy gets like this, so wet, creaming the cock I'm fucking when it feels incredibly good", I tell him, "How much is there?"

"So much", he answers immediately, "Pouring from your pussy. Covering my whole cock. All over my lap"

"Mmm", I smirk, my legs burning as I ride him but fuck it feels too amazing to stop, "I only cream a cock that much after I've fucked them for awhile. I've been riding you for only five minutes and I'm already that creamy. You know what that means?"

He shakes his head, his fingers digging into my hips so hard

"It means I love your cock inside me", I reveal, "It means your cock is the best I've ever fucked"

He murmurs incoherently, his cheeks blushing yet again

God he's so cute too

"Do you like that baby? That your cock is the best I've ever had inside me? That yours feels the best?"

"Yes", he whines, his cock throbbing hard, "I like that. I love it. Fuck"

I lean over him, my hands on his shoulders as I bounce as fast as I can, each hit to my spot bringing me closer and closer

"I'm gonna cum on your cock", I moan, my body shaking on top of him, "Can I cum on your cock Hwa?"

"Yes! Yes please! Yes", he shouts

His pleading and the sound of so much pleasure in his voice helps throw me over the edge, right into a mind shattering orgasm

"Seonghwa!", I cry, ecstasy rolling over me in waves as my pussy strangles his cock over and over, coming all over him

I feel myself cream his cock like I've never creamed one before, stars blasting in my eyes

"Fuck! Joanne!", he cries, "Feels so good! Fuck, oh my god, it feels so good"

"Cum inside my pussy Hwannie", I plead, still orgasming and wanting to feel him fill me so badly, "Fill my pussy with your cum"

"Joanne! Fuck! Jo!", he screams, his hips rising, his hands gripping me so tightly as he keeps me on him

His huge cock throbs, then shoots his warm sticky cum, my pussy greedily milking his cock

I want all of it

He screams wordlessly and I watch the stunning sight of him coming

His head pushes into my pillow, his eyes closed, tears falling down his face, sucking in breaths as he screams and shivers under me

"Hwa", I whimper, the last of the pleasure leaving my body the same time he finishes coming inside me

I stay on him, letting his orgasm end, watching him in pleasure

His eyes flutter open, unfocused, looking so fucked out

He looks so cute

I move my hand and wipe the tears away from his face, his eyes slowly moving to me and focusing

"Hi", I smile softly

"Hi", he smiles back

"Was it good?"

He nods shyly, "Amazing. I never expected it to feel that way. I...I didn't know something could....feel that good"

"I know what you mean", I say, moving off him and sitting next to him, "It hasn't felt that good before"

"Uh...really?", he asks, curiously

My face heats up as I realize what I just said

A virgin gave me the best sex of my life, his cock made me cum the hardest I've ever had

What the fuck?

"Uh yeah", I answer, avoiding his eyes

An awkward silence ensues and I need to leave

"So uh, I'm gonna take a shower", I tell him, standing up and inching towards the door, "I'll save some hot water so you can go in after me ok?"

He nods, shy again, his eyes on the floor, "Yea ok. Thank you"

I nod, "Sure"

I leave my room and basically sprint to the bathroom

I get the water on and get in the shower

But I can't get him out of my head

I can't get the images of how beautiful he looked under me out of my head

Of how hot he looked when he ate me out

Of the pleasure on his face when I blew him

And the feel of him inside me was so fucking incredible

Almost like he was made for me

Stop it

It was mostly likely a one time thing

I did what I wanted

I fucked my dorky but surprisingly hot stepbrother

I corrupted him a little bit, like I wanted to

It's over now

I force myself to stop thinking about him and continue my shower

[necarion]

I've never quite understood why Avatar didn't have more cultural staying power. I recently went and rewatched it when it came back to theaters, and it was as amazing as I'd remembered it. The plot remained kinda dumb, but way less so than I'd remembered given the fucking endless discourse on the subject. The white savior narrative was still slightly fucked up. But, again, compared to the shit coming out of Marvel or DC, it wasn't anything to write home about. Really, it was like every single plot point was nitpicked to death, in a standard basically no other contemporary film was.

@jadagul pointed out once that he had been judging the story of Avatar on a "real movie" curve, when really it should have been considered on a "superhero movie" curve. Like, seriously, is it any dumber or more poorly written than like 2/3 of the Marvel movies in that same time period?

I think there were a couple problems here. One was that there was this really surprising anti-Cameron group that was already declaring the movie to be a failure before it came out. It was going to be environmentalist propaganda (kinda true). Or it was going to be a "chick flick" like Titanic. There was still a sizeable contingent of people who seemed to be mad at themselves for liking Titanic, despite there being a romance with Leonardo DiCaprio in it. James Cameron had made a whole bunch of amazing movies that everybody loved, but his last one had been 12 years ago, and there had been a backlash to the fact that it was as popular as it was, so many of the folks who you'd have expected to be fervent fans of the guy who made Aliens or Terminator 2 just weren't defending it.

So, the tone of discourse for the movie was "this movie is visually spectacular" and "also kinda dumb". But the community for "kinda dumb" was insanely vocal, and I remember feeling intensely peer-pressured to admit that it was "dances with smurfs" or whatever. Liking it was actually kind of uncool, even among the nerds I went to school with (even though almost everybody came out of the theater in awe). And part of the problem was, indeed, that the movie was kind of dumb. So you couldn't really defend it on those grounds, and there wasn't a pre-built constituency of Cameron fans. (For comparison, there were (and still are) rabid defenders of Snyder's much dumber, and much more offensive movies.)

So there's this dynamic already pushing the tone of coverage against the films.

But combine that with the fact that the story was basically entirely serviceable for what it was trying to do, but nothing particularly interesting to discuss. I've seen much more interesting stories, and also far worse ones, that people love to talk about. So the only thing you can really say about it is "yeah, the movie was awesome" and "holy shit this was the most beautiful movie I've ever seen.

And then you take it home and watch it on your 2D screen and it's...kind of flat and lifeless. It lost an astounding amount in that transition. So there's the DVD sales gone. Avatar was basically the leading reason in the push for 3D TVs, but those just weren't ready for primetime.

And then comes the 3D movie mini-explosion, and these mostly fell flat. Avatar had worked as well as it had because Cameron planned for it to be in 3D from the very beginning, and pushed the technology as hard as it would go. In comparison, 3D up-conversion was neat, but it really wasn't using the technology as anything other than a way to sell more expensive tickets. And this got blamed on Avatar.

And then Cameron doesn't release anything else in the Avatar universe for over a decade, so there's nothing to build on. We heard all the jokes of Avatar 2-5 (or whatever) but there wasn't really anything. Not even any bad stories that could re-ignite investment in that world.

So, through a combination of

having a story that was well-suited to show what Cameron wanted,

that was kind of dumb,

with nobody who really wanted to defend the story because it was boring and kind of dumb

a very vocal cadre of anti-Cameron fans

and then no follow-ups for over a decade

then yeah, it makes sense that not a lot of people talked about Avatar.

Of course, then Cameron decides to finally release Avatar 2, and it's way dumber. He went all-in making it a magical alien planet documentary, and seemed to totally forget to, like, have someone read through that godawful, boring script. Maybe that validates what folks have been saying about Avatar 1, but that standard can be used to invalidate a whole lot of solid films by a lot of solid directors. I think the lesson is that auteur film directors should have a competent writer on-hand who they actually listen to, and who will tell them know. But we've known that for forever.

I know very little about this film except the trans subject matter, and that it has truly appalling songs, but it's hilarious it has all those Oscar nominations when it is this disliked by the audience of the country in which it is set, and is guaranteed to be forgotten by everyone a year from now.

It made me think of that "gay, black" film Moonlight, that won Best Picture 9 years ago, and how I haven't heard a single person mention it online or offline since that year. I even had to look up "best picture winners" on Wikipedia to remember the name. But according to the academy, that was the greatest motion picture of its time. Entirely forgotten today.

Whereas, if I go back through the list another decade, there are films like The Departed and No Country For Old Men winning that award, that millions of people still love and esteem and regularly talk about and recommend to others.

Another decade earlier, it's The Silence of The Lambs, Unforgiven, Schindler's List, Forrest Gump, Braveheart, The English Patient and Titanic - again: films literally everyone still know and love today, 30 years on.

The Oscars used to be a benchmark for timeless excellence in the cinematic arts, but now The Oscars are just a measuring stick for how far Hollywood has fallen into virtue signaling, ideological propaganda, incompetence and mediocrity.

[m-to-z-andbackto-m]

No you don't understand, it's not just a hyperfixation, IT'S LITERALLY THE REASON I'M FUNCTIONING 😭

I don't like staying hungry or eating when I'm not sure if I'm hungry or bored because Horror exists, he's been through a famine, tf am I doing???

I get upset about my hypersomnia and I try really hard to not to let it happen because many skeles are associated with narcolepsy

I'm pretty sure consuming skeleton content cured my depression over a few years???

God, I'm literally so dependent on them, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THO!!!

I try to avoid toxic behaviors when I can identify them, and it's easier to because Nightmare is a toxic guy canonically, I've consumed enough content to know what's right and wrong in the long run

On the other end, seeing content where one or more of them gets comfort helps me navigate some situations because generally I'm not amazing at giving comfort

They also have me think about my philosophy and general beliefs, a lot of them have been done wrong so they do wrong, therefore I believe we should always try to understand each other because communication can avoid huge issues (DreamTale), and I think it's okay for people to take revenge, even to the extent of killing an abuser if the circumstance just happens to be that way (I'm not gonna specify what irl situation I'm thinking of but I do not advocate for murdering people in general guys, but it's only fair to see the motive, people aren't born criminals and sometimes the extreme feels like the only way out one way or another. Essentially, see people for more than their crimes. Of course some people are just disgusting assholes, but you get the idea.)

Having to memorize the lore and world building, along with creators, characters, interpretations, AND variations, doing all this helps me practice organizing thoughts and articulating difficult information

They actually boost my creativity and keep me happy, when I'm stressed, opening Tumblr to my favorite sillies literally takes my mind off whatever was bothering me, like I actually need them to lower any anxiety levels and keep me regulated

However on the downside they can make me very hyper, sometimes so emotionally so that I shut down for a bit because I physically cannot express my adoration for them and it's overwhelming but I never shut down for too long, I love them, they keep me going y'know!

They help me explore diversity and character writing, putting depth and thought into a being, helps me with my own creations <3

Actually, I'm too shy to look at × reader/self insert/(Y/N) content most of the time unless it's platonic (Might just be me being aromantic honestly) BUT I Have seen stuff where they affirm body types and "Flaws" and stuff like that and I think if I was less of a prude I could look at that stuff and it'd make me feel better about my insecurities, but for now my partners are doing a good job at keeping me normal

Essentially I just need all my sillies to work properly!!! 💕 (I'm so sane, and normal, and not senile about them :3)

(CW For Next Bit: Mental Health, Paranoia, Panic Attack Discussed)

Actually about that, my obsession with the skeletons used to be SO bad that I felt like they were always watching me and my brain would involuntarily make me feel paranoid and bad about myself (Possible ODC symptom where you're afraid of being judged for your thoughts/actions?) and I can't tell if it was a panic attack I had a couple years ago where I couldn't keep caring what they "Think" and I just had to scream and sob because you literally can't hold it in during one (If it was this, I guess I sorta pushed them away D:), OR my partners replaced my brain sillies so I feel them to a lesser extent

(Insecurity, Self Care Issues, And Gay Talk 😭 Oh and also mention of paranoia again but not so bad)

Like it used to be so bad I couldn't get up because I felt yucky, but I couldn't take a shower because they were "There", but now it's like, if my partners are my brain sillies, they like me, we'd probably take showers together when we live together and shit like that, it's okay if they're "Watching" me, actually, they're actual people somewhere else, doing something else, they don't just exist because I think of them the way the silly skeles do, they're actually defined and aren't actually around, it's just me thinking about them, it's okay, I don't have to feel so bad or weird about it, of course I still do a bit because insecurity is hard to scrape off, but I think I'm getting a little better and that's all that matters

Anyways point is, I need my wives, both skeletons and real, to function properly or I'm literally DOOMED

[w2soneshots]

omgg i’d love to see like youtuber!reader and bach, maybe like a silly little q&a? or even one of those cute but kinda cringe couple challenges from like 2010 loll ( like the chapstick challenge or smth ). obviously don’t feel pressured to write this if you don’t want to!! love ur work btw 🩷

Q&A -Italian Bach

words: 0.7k+

warnings: suggestive content.

summary: you and Bach answer his fans weird and funny questions about your relationship.

notes: hello lovely!💗 Thank you so much for your request (I apologise for posting it so late🙈). This was actually so much fun to write and it’s also my first fic for Italian Bach, hehe. I hope you enjoy!!✨🫶🏼

"Hello m' lady," Isaac greeted me at his apartment door, stepping aside to let me in. I giggled before softly pecking him on the lips.

We were both quite new to the whole youtuber thing just eight months ago. We met through a friend and decided to film a video together. The fans started shipping us, as they do, and something else ended up blossoming between us.

"Ready to film?" I asked, after we'd spent a little while chatting on his sofa. "Yup!" He jumped up and then reached for my hands to pull me up and off the couch.

He brought another chair into the spare bedroom so we could both sit at his desk, then he turned the camera on and we got started.

"Hello, my little gremlins," he began in a strange voice, I didn't bat an eyelid since I was fully used to his antics. "Today I have my girlfriend here to answer some of your questions. So get comfy and maybe get some popcorn or something."

I shuffled in the chair as he pulled out his phone. "Okay... Jacob asked, do you guys fuc-" he faked a gasp and I raised my eyebrows. "Jacob that is absolutely disgusting, you little virgin man... ew, but the answer to your question is yes. Anything to say on the matter y/n?" I breathed out a laugh. "Nope. I think you covered all bases."

"Next! Lillian, ah... can never trust a Lillian," I furrowed my brows. "What why?" "I have my reasons. Okay, she asked when did you realise you loved y/n?" "Aw, that's cute!" I smiled.

"Umm... probably when I got some of that poosay!" "Isaac!" I playfully slapped his arm. "No no, I'm joking! It was after we'd just finished filming a video and we ordered dinner and I realised that even the boring, simple things I always enjoyed doing it if it was with you."

"Oh my god, that was actually such a sweet answer, the tiktok editors are gonna eat that up." He chuckled as he knew I was right.

"Do you wanna read this one?" He asked. I nodded and took the phone. "Wolfman57 asked when we want kids," my eyes widened as I read the message. "First of all, I love your username, secondly that's a big question to ask, wolfman." Bach stated.

"Why don't we get back to you in a few years?" I opted. "Yes, we shall do that," Isaac seconded. "Moving on... oh lord, Sam asked, what's the biggest animal you think you could fit up your ass?" "Woah Sam, that's crazy," Bach grimaced.

"Why don't you take the phone back?" I said and he quickly took it. "I'm sorry your eyes had to witness that my love," he joked.

After quite a few interesting questions we were onto the last one. I leaned my head on Isaac's shoulder so that I could see the phone. "Okay... finally, Laura asked, what's our favourite thing about each other?"

"Ooo, I like this!" I grinned. "My favourite thing about you is your ability to find the good in any situation. Though an honourable mention is that fat ass," he answered.

I scoffed. "That was sweet and you know what... I'll take it. Okay, now yours, my kind sir, would be your funny little jokes and the way they make me belly laugh. Along with the mullet," I smirked as I ran my hand over the back of his hair.

"Thank you for watching till the end, obviously y/n will be back soon so put any requests of things you want to see us film in the comments!" "Nothing dirty," I added. Bach chuckled before turning the camera off.

"That was perfect." "You're perfect, now let's go get some lunch," he responded, standing. "You know... if we order something, that usually takes like twenty minutes to come..." "ah... what do you suggest we do while we wait ma'am?" "I don't know, a lot can be accomplished in twenty minutes," I replied with a cheeky smile.

In and instant he'd grabbed me and flung me over his shoulder. I let out a shriek and giggled as he ran with me into our bedroom.

[callistocalavarni]

Aphrodite, as well as deciding when and where

I just want to say, this is more for me than it is anyone - take what you want and leave what you don't want. I'm not here to narrate your life. I just like talking into the void of the internet.

There was a different form of consciousness I went to when I was a child. I was young when this happened, I barely remember what was going on. I was at this sand temple, there were others for brief moments. It was a beautiful and sentimental place. I really only remember the emotion tied to it. Confusion, despair, survival but not at the deepest level. Maybe it was a shift, maybe it wasn't. I was too young to figure it out. I still wonder what significance it has, why was I there, what part of my mind wanted me to go. Maybe it was a past life. I’ve lived a lot of lives and I think I’m ready to permashift. Of course in the future I will decide where - right now I still want a little more time. I already said I would permashift and I did leave for a while but eventually came back. I'm not very good at expressing what I have lived and when I do I end up hating the way I phrased it,, But now I have an idea on how I want to do it for the future.

It feels as if i'm at a crossroad, many paths and outcomes will always be there for me.

A couple years ago around Christmas I bought an alice and wonderland tarot deck. Even though this was a long time ago I’m still getting the hang of reading cards, but I have learned a lot since using them. I’ve always loved Alice, around that time I had set out to watch every variation of the story. I watched the Czech one; Alice 1988. I don’t think I finished it but I got a good way through and the film amazed me with how surreal it was. I’m pretty sure everyone can see that, that story and shifting are related in a way. This was also the time where I had really gotten into Greek mythology and Hellenic views. I’m not a master in it and prefer to follow the gods of my Lumari dr - but this was before I shifted there. Now, I work with Aphrodite as well as my own gods. One Friday I sat down and did a reading with her. I wanted to make a waiting room. I don’t remember exactly what I had asked her but her answer was clear. Shifting does not require a waiting period, it doesn't need a bridge or a state of if. Just do it as soon as you'd like, go where you want as soon as the thought pops into your head. There is no need to flesh the idea out completely. A few words and visual ideas is all I really need; If I find myself scripting too much it's like the reality becomes something entirely different from what I wanted. Even though I have found that this works for me I still fail to give into the urge to shift as soon as the motivation clings to me. I’m a major procrastinator, it’s a flaw I’m working on. I have success with shifting to random realities, ones that I think of in a quick moment, and then decide I want to be there. I hate being picky, I’m conflicted with uncertain people. Just go, your subconscious is not actively out to get you. It’s not something to be scared of. That’s how I came to the way I view shifting now, also I think tarot is a way to bring out your subconscious beliefs. 

[shubblelive]

VAMPIRE IS TRACK 3 OF GUTS JUST LIKE DRIVERS LICENSE WAS TRACK 3 OF SOUR GOD I'M GETTING DEJA VU RN

[sehnisweet]

After about a year….I finally finally finished this art piece. I call it “reading by the bath” 🍊🌿📚

[starjunkyard]

(hands u a domestic hudson sketch)... Take this.......... for the journey...............

[toonagi]

UM. MASS ATTACK

it's been a hot minute since i've done a big group shot like this (and by "hot minute" i mean like 5 years) so uh. zoo wee mama that's a lotta hedgehogs (plus one (1) warrior cat and a porcupine)

individual groups under the cut. i'll be putting character names & owners down there too :]

this attack has a whopping 33 characters in it so um....... long post warning

group #1 (also known as Mandatory Vacation in my files):

Archie ( @interstellarchaosss )

Astraeus ( @simpalert )

Zonic of PZSFI ( @ciphergrowl )

group #2 (aka Beast Pack in my files. look i had to name the folders to keep everything organized ok)

Agartha ( @sa2ration )

Werehog Spikes ( @hyper-cryptic )

Monster AU Sonic (Rougelynesdisco on ArtFight)

Halcyon ( @mystigaron )

group #3 (silly billies)

Blurfoot ( @guiltypandas )

2000s Web Sonic (Prismsonic on ArtFight)

Nicolas ( @zzcarnotauro )

Prism Sonic (also Prismsonic)

group #4 (Therapy)

TDC!Sonic (donnie on Artfight)

Virtuosity!Sonic ( @minecraftfan11onscratch )

Nikopulous!Sonic ( @bensbean )

group #5 (da bench)

Frost ( @simpalert )

Tactile (ULTRAVIXLENCE on ArtFight)

Dreamwalker Sonic ( @the-cosmic-blogger )

group #6 (nincombots)

Murder Drones Sonic ( @cat-dragron-arts & @cherbearsz )

SD-C (also cat-dragron & cherbearsz)

Dr. Needlemouse ( @lilcrazybat )

group #7 (eeeek a spider - also mva sonic's quills are cut off a little sorry)

Undertale Sonic ( @gettingfizzical )

MVA!Sonic ( @weirdozjunkary )

Mach Spider ( @chaosspear )

group #8 (oooooo spooky)

Rise ( @mercurymarine404 )

Taxidermy!Sonic ( @cxrpsehub )

group #9 (gender)

Sonic the Squidhog ( @stormloup )

Nikki ( @transgirlsonic )

Crystallized AU Sonic ( @12neonlit-stage )

Arrow (SparksSystem on Artfight)

Vi (also SparksSystem)

group #10 (no silly folder name for this one. sorry) :[ )

SOMA!Sonic ( @citystreetfunk )

Vampire Sonic (the-cosmic-blogger)

group #11 (actually not a group it's just speedy)

Speedy the Porcupine ( @jays---wing )

and some bonus doodles from while i was working on this. as a treat :] (feat. zonic having The Day Ever)

hehehehaha i love an excuse to draw a niche character that i really like for some reason. anyway hooray yippee my adhd ass completed a large project!!!! ^_^ time to write a whole novel in the tags as per usual

[itsmuffiiee]

SORRY FOR THE LATE ASK I JUST FINISHED THIS AND WANTED TO MAKE SURE I GOT HERE IN TIME

Hi!!! :D

Also I did the rough math, I think I'm about 23.5 apples tall?? coversions from inches to apples are not standard unfortunately :/

Hello! Your bear mask is adorable! The pain of apples not being a consistent and reliable measuring tool strikes again 🍎

[coolunspokenforname]

I don't think I can hate any characters in Gravity Falls that aren't explicitly antagonists/evil. We're constantly given complex characters that have their own reasons, hopes, fears, so even the 'bad guys' are difficult to hate. However, those fucking teenagers...