#but i was too scared to pursue it at the time
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
HEAR ME OUT! Mc (reader) performs "Earned it" by The Weeknd (yes the tiktok dance) meanwhile Mr. Crawling 👁️👄👁️
It's your choice whether u make it sfw/nsfw I WANNA KNOW HIS REACTION-
I will be honest with you nonnie. I think Mr. Crawling is too innocent to have the reaction you want him to have.
The moment you called for Mr. Crawling, you can hear how fast he zoomed towards the room where you at. His hands were happily tapping on the floor, his smile is wide, as he chirped, "Me here! You call?"
It was as if just by calling his name, you made his day.
At first, you feel a bit ashamed as he innocently titled his head to the side, waiting for you to speak or do whatever the reason you called for him. He looks too pure for the dance you plan to perform. But, you have to do this. This is his reward for being so good to you since he came home with you.
Anyway, might as well start.
With a deep breath, you readied yourself, played the music and do the choreography as you practiced.
You never took your eyes off him, especially when you got down, opened your legs and flip your hair. You watched as his smile went to an "O" and how he gasped when you suddenly move down, surprising him.
After you ended your performance, the room was quiet, too quiet to your liking. When you raised your head, he was just staring at you, at least that's how you felt as his smile was down and he was just sitting there, unmoving.
Embarassed, you felt your face heat up, and immediately sat properly, crossing your legs shame finally catching up to you.
You were about to say something and cut the awkwardness when he suddenly grinned and clapped his hands. His giggles are loud as he howled and cheered for you.
"Wow! Cute! Good! Good! Pretty! Pretty!"
You let out a yelped when he suddenly hug you, snaking his arms around your neck. His cheeks glued on you as he continue his praises, and squeezes you with affection.
"Kiss! Kiss!" He suddenly scooped your face and give you smooches all over your face.
You were too dumfounded to do anything so all you did was blinked, until he used his hands to pat your head, and you giggled, ticklish.
"Love you! You love me?"
a/n: but i don't want to end this here and i thought might as well write for the other guys 😆
The other Homicipher boys under the cut
Mr. Hood just stood there after you performed. He didn't say anything but he kept you sat on his lap the whole day.
Mr. Chopped is not innocent as you think. If he has a body, you'll see the sign of his boner on his pants. Let's just say Mr. Chopped was too clingy after that invigorating performance.
Mr. Silvair was grinning the whole time until it ended, just like his reaction every time. It made you nervous, and you gulped not knowing what to do. Suddenly, he grabbed a pen and a paper, and wrote the exact words, "you only show that to me. yes?"
Mr. Machete never let you finish. He thought whatever you were doing is a challenge and he almost chase you out. It took a while but you convinced him after that you were just dancing. The mood was already ruined so you didn't pursue doing it again.
Mr. Gap watched your performance intently, too intent to your liking. He was grinning from start to finish. He was giggling when you were done when suddenly he vanished out of your sight. It made you nervous and scared. Knowing him, he will probably do something unpredictable. And you were right. He suddenly appeared on the shadow that was on your wall. Touched your nape with his cold hand. You felt something sticky and wet had touched your skin. The suddenness making you yelped and shudder in surprise. He giggled and vanished for the entirety of the day. (What an asshole)
Mr. Scarletella was smiling at first when you started your perfomance. But it was you who decided to stop it when he suddenly turned his head in a 360' angle and never let his eyes out of you. It was so creepy that your want to perform was replaced by fear. He stood by you the whole day. Way too close to your liking, that you can feel his jacket brushing on your skin.
#(ʘᴗʘ✿) seelie writings#mr silvair homicipher#homicipher x you#homicipher x mc#homicipher game#homicipher x reader#homicipher#homichiper#mr silvair x reader#mr silvair#mr crawling x reader#mr. crawling#mr crawling#mr gap x mc#mr gap x y/n#mr gap x you#mr gap x reader#mr gap#mr hood#mr hood x reader#mr chopped head#mr chopped x reader#mr chopped#mr silvair x you#mr crawling x mc#mr scarletella#mr scarletella x reader#mr machete#mr machete x reader#( ˘ ³˘)♥ seelie queries
246 notes
·
View notes
Text
Imagine if Emma was conceived or even born while ciphertology was in its height (this would paint some... interesting implications about her parentage.) I like Hana Hyperfixates' time-line and if we just sale for the sake of making math easier that Emma, fidds and the twins are all the same age, she'd be born in 1951 and be 1 year old when the cult started. The could very plausibly be a little bit younger or older than That though
Or if she was very a young girl while her parents and relatives joined, and she'd have extremely vague memories about it all. Maybe they'd never talk about it after the cult is disbanded, and she just thinks it was a reoccurring childhood nightmare until she finds out about Bill post-weirdmageddon.
If she was born right after if was all over, I could imagine her name (emma-may) being an homage to Emmaline Butternubbins, and that would paint her family as happy that all that madness is over
Maybe it's just the southernness. But I love how Madeline, emmaline and emma-may all sound so much like each other,
I love all the moving parts this information offers us. How would the dixons cope with the disbanding of the cult? Maybe just Madeline (I'm imagining her as either an older sister or an aunt on the younger side) joined while Emma's parents watched in terror.
Or maybe they all joined and still believe in Bill and worship him even after the cult disbanded, and Emma was raised "ciphertologist". Given Emma seems to be a very reasonable and no-nonsense girl, I can totally imagine her growing to dislike it as she got older. As a fiddauthor shipper I think fiddleford has a type for smart people, so Emma is probably inquisitive and rational and wouldn't want to live her whole life like that. Maybe marrying fiddleford and moving to Palo alto was a desperate gamble on her end to get away from her family as quickly as possible, hold onto some semblance of normality and leave that life of cults and secrets. This would really shed a new light in their divorce, because a marriage like this really would have started on a shaky base (bonus points if you're working with the Fidds is Gay school of thought as well.)
Maybe the dixons were like the weirdos around town, the family that came to Tennessee from kansas under mysterious circumstances. The family rumored to secretly worship the devil in this mostly Christian community (fidds seems to be Christian to some degree after all). Maybe fiddleford was like the only kid that wasn't afraid of befriending Emma, given he's probably an outcast too for his love of science and all that. Maybe through fiddleford's kindness and friendship, Emma decided that science and logic and all these things her family belittled, they can't be all bad if fiddleford loves them so much. And emma would scare fidds' bullies by threatening to do weird devil magic shit to them. Maybe they made plans as little kids to run away together, to a place where he could build robots and computers without being bullied and she wouldn't have anyone lying or keeping secrets from her.
If Emma stayed in Tennessee while fidds went to BMU, it must have been a pretty scary phase of her life. Without her best only friend slash maybe boyfriend she'd probably feel very alone. And her family could be starting to get an inkling of the idea that she plans on marrying fidds and bailing as soon as he graduated. Maybe those never even planned on getting married but had to so Emma's next of kin would be fiddleford and not her parents.
But if emma actually pursued any form of specialization, i have this silly headcanon that, given Bill dismantled all forms of Healthcare in billvile, I love the notion of Emma becoming a nurse or even a doctor.
👁🗨Ciphertology & The Dixons👁🗨
Sooooo…Emma May’s family was involved in a cult, right? Let me elaborate. As a fellow creative I have been known on many occasions to forget details big and small about my own world, but names? No, names are never something I tend to duplicate unless for a very specific thematic or world building reason. So color me stoked when I was curiously learning about Bill’s cult arc in the 1950’s and found one of his first followers was a young girl with the surname, you guessed it, Dixon!!
Considering Alex Hirsch is very purposeful with things and little hints, while also leaving the audience to figure things out for themselves while he sits back and laughs, I can’t help but feel the surname Dixon is a bit TOO coincidental in this instance. From what we see, Ciphertology and the followers were a mash of a bunch of real life cult references while doing the usual Hirsch thing of filtering Bill into a concept perfectly well.
All in all it’s a very interesting thing, but what I found more interesting were the people involved. Sure you have the puppet leader, Silas Birchtree and a bunch of other out there names, but amongst sits a simple ‘Madeline Dixon’….. Alex Hirsch I’m going to screAM :D
From what we learn, after the cult is forcibly disbanded by the US government and every trace of the town is wiped off of maps and history books, the people are spread throughout the country and given opportunities to start life over again. Not everyone followed that however and some continued to follow the Bill Cipher cult. And honestly I can’t help finding myself bouncing back to the very concept that is-
What if Emma May Dixon grew up in a recovering cult family? What if her family still believed in the cults teachings like some and practiced it in secret at home? And if that is true how am I meant to feel towards the idea that her future husband, Fiddleford McGucket, would become a cult leader himself all because of the very thing that was the foundation of her own cultish upbringing?
Honestly if that’s what Alex was shooting for, I’m calling him a genius cause that’s such a fascinating idea to work with. The concept that Bill has personally affected and rooted himself so deeply into the show and it’s characters that even those we don’t get to see still have dealt with him to some degree.
It just all feels too perfect too. The surname Dixon implies enough, thanks to Alex’s upfront and to the point naming, that Emma May too is a southerner like her husband. Or at the very least she’s in that farmy side of the country. And where did Ciphertology come from? Orchard Lake, Kansas. Madeline Dixon very well could be Emma May’s aunt or older sister considering the cult began in 1952. And assuming Em’s the same age as Fiddleford and the Stan twins then we can assume vaaaaageuly that she’d be born in 1955. Meaning she’d be either growing up in that recovering environment or indoctrinated into it.
We can assume well enough then that she didn’t follow the cults teachings considering she seems well adjusted with her family, living in Palo Alto, but it also kinda reaffirms why she’d be so quick to throw divorce on the table once she sees Fiddleford’s memory wiped condition. That on top of we can only assume his behavior was alarming and erratic and a far cry from the personality of her husband that she was used to (especially when you consider bRO made a homicidal pterodactyl robot because he was so distraught and upset towards the idea of being divorced..like yeah man..that might solidify her decision my guy..)
But if she ever saw the symbol of Bill’s eye or anything in relation to him anywhere in Gravity Falls?? Especially the Society of the Blind eye symbol spray painted all over? After either learning to fear Bill or worship him in her upbringing depending on what their family did after the cult was disbanded? I wouldn’t blame her for high tailing it out of there and worrying for her and her sons life- (Fiddleford..Emma May..I am your biggest fans, but y’all have me bonkers sometimes) But also consider how most ex cult members naturally want to give the very opposite traumatic life that they lived to their child? If Emma May were to see semblances of what she relates to Ciphertology in Gravity Falls, I don’t have a hard time believing she was getting tF out of there for the sake of Tate’s well being & future
In short- hi, I now believe Emma May’s family was in a cult and the very idea of that will ruminate with me for awhile :D But also double hi?? Madeline DIxon looks vaguely similar to how I envisioned and draw my Emma May design? Coincidence, I think nOT :P
#gravity falls#emma may dixon#emmaline butternubbins#kitcatia has thoughts#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket
132 notes
·
View notes
Text
@sp00kymulderr I made a thing for your Dick Pronoun Fic Challenge.
Max Phillips x f!reader.
WC:1.3k
Warnings: some brief smut. Mainly rude words.
Summary: Max tried to tempt you into making a very specific appointment with him.
Coffee Cup Coupling
After Halloween, Thanksgiving and with the lead up to Christmas, the call centre was quiet. It was too early for last minute panic buying of the useless, overpriced tat that you were pushing.
The peace in the office gave you time to work on some other contracts that you had been pursuing for the company in the hopes of getting the permanent manager job currently being temporarily filled by corporate’s hot shot, Max Phillips.
Max had won most of the team over, but you remain sceptical. Sure, he was charming and capable in his role. You could see how people may find him attractive. Maybe, if you were honest with yourself, you could find him attractive, too. Maybe the latent attraction was what prompted your late night confession to your best friend.
“I'm not interested in a setup.” You sigh, letting your tired body sag into your office chair. “I don't want a boyfriend. I could do with a casual fling, though.” You mused aloud.
Your bestie’s response is lost to your attention as you hear something in the darkness outside your office door.
“I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye.” The phone in your hand is forgotten before you hear a response. “Hello?” You call into the darkness.
Anxiety and years of watching horror movies kick in as you approach your open office door. You mentally scold your active imagination as your throat tightens with each step. Just as you approach the threshold, someone steps forward and scares the shit out of you.
“Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.” Max laughs, standing in front of you with two mugs of crappy office coffee. “I just thought I'd check if you needed anything. Coffee?”
Once you swallow your heart back to its original position, you decline the coffee. “The coffee here sucks.”
Max smiles widely, showing all his teeth. “Yeah. I can think of better things to drink.” He set the mugs down on your file cabinet. “If I can't help you with that, maybe I can help with your other issue?”
“Other issue?” You search your memory for any issues around the office, coming up blank. You ask Max to elaborate.
“Your need for casual sex. I'm more than happy to schedule a dick appointment. After all, a happy workforce is a productive workforce.”
He says it as if he's offering to get you a new toner for your copier.
After a moment of being dumbfounded, you answer him. “No. I don't need a Dick Appointment with you, Max. If anything, you can get me a decent coffee in the morning.” You give him a tired quirk of your lips as you leave for home.
The next morning, a hot cup of black coffee is sitting on your desk with Max’s elegant scroll across it.
‘If you don't fancy a Dick Appointment, how about a Member Meeting?’. Catching his eye from his office on the other side of the hallway, you sigh and shake your head.
Taking a sip, you fire off a quick email to him. ‘I take it with milk and sugar.’
He quirks an eyebrow before replying. ‘I figured you'd like to take it hot and strong this morning’.
The next morning, the smell of sugary sweet tinge bitterness hits you. The cup has ‘How about a Phallus Function?' scrawled on it this time.
‘No. Way too much sugar. I only take two’ is the emailed response.
On Thursday the perfect coffee is waiting with the less than perfect words ‘How about a Cock Cookout?’ on the side.
Friday’s coffee reads ‘How about a Weenie Weekend?’.
Saturday’s coffee says ‘How about a Pecker Party?’
Monday and Tuesday's morning coffees are message free and taken in your own home as you come down with a cold.
Wednesday’s cup is emblazoned with ‘How about a Peter Powwow?’. It is filled with hot, sweet tea with lemon.
‘No, coffee?’ you email.
‘Lemon helps with colds’ comes the reply that you think about for way too long that day.
Thursday cup is an immune system boosting blend with ‘How about a Shaft Social?’ on the side.
‘Vitamin infused tea?’ you query.
‘You need to be in good shape to handle my massive cock.’ you see him shrug as he sends it.
On Friday, you doubt you'll see a cup waiting for you as the snow shuts down some of the local area. You are presently surprised to find a hot chocolate topped with marshmallows and cream. Less surprising and pleasant is the note ‘How about a Prick Parade?’
Saturday rolls around again meaning you are only in the office for a few hours yet there sits a cup. ‘How about a Shaft Social?’
Monday follows a night of drinking for a coworkers birthday. The coffee is a welcome sight. In your delicate condition even the message makes you smile. ‘How about a Tool Tea?’
The first sip burns in more ways than one. As you raise your head with a questioning look, your computer chimes.
‘Hair of the dog. I told you, I need you in good condition. It really is a fucking huge cock.
The cup hides your second smile.
Tuesday's offering is a fancy caramel coffee. ‘How about a Johnson Jolly?’
‘Caramel?’ you type with one hand as you drink in the flavour.
‘You ate them from the chocolates in the staff room.’ comes the reply.
Wednesday brings ‘How about a Manhood Match Up?’ Along with another fancy concoction.
‘This isn't an Americano.’ You lick the foam from your lips.
‘I'm running out of euphemisms. I have to up my game somehow.’ His own tongue mirrors the movement of yours.
Thursday is another foam topped extravaganza. ‘How about a Schlong Shindig?’
Friday is the same with ‘How about a Willy Weekend?’
Saturday brings the office party and not one but two coffees. One when you arrive ‘How about a Wood Wooing?’ and another when you retreat to your office to freshen up for drinks. ‘How about a Length Luau?’
Max closes his door and removes his jacket. It gets tossed on his office sofa followed by his tie. His shirt is half undone when the knock comes at his door. He instantly regrets not putting the mistletoe up on the door frame as you stand there.
“Hey.” He greets trying his best to sound casual as his cock thickens at the thought that he has finally worn you down. He stops at half mast when he sees you have just brought him a cup of crappy punch.
“Here I was hoping you were here for you Massive Cock….er…” he struggles for a word he hasn't used before.
“No more Dick Appointment alternatives, please! Here.” you hand his punch in a red cup.
“Fine.” he lets out a defeated sigh before taking a sip of his drink. “Urgh. This might even be more disappointing than not getting laid.’
“Aw, maybe this will cheer you up.” you reach for his cup, turning it in his hand to reveal the note on the side. ‘How about a Vagina Visit?’
Cheap rum punch soaks into the carpet as Max tossed both cups so you can get your hands on each other. Your hands grab his ass and his thick bicep while he grips your thigh and tit through your dress. His full lips work their way up to that sweet spot behind your ear until he pauses. “Out of interest, which phrase did it for you?”
“It was the beverage choices and how sweet they were. Maybe you're not a complete ass. Although pausing to ask that….” Max seeks to correct his misstep by kissing you deeply. Moments later, when you gasp finally taking his cock, and almost choking it in the process, Max is glad he didn't have to resort to Dang Dalliance or Erection Engagement.
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
SMA Sneak peek?
It's been a HOT minute but i'm trying hehe...
For anyone still interested... see below...
You stiffened, glaring at him from over your shoulder as you turned the last corner landing. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jake raised an eyebrow. "I caught you off that ladder the first time we met. You were putting up Halloween decorations when Bradley scared you half to death." You winced, hoping Jake didn't catch it. "Yeah. I guess you did." "And then you, twirling in your dress later in the night..." You cut him off, your voice sharper than you intended it to be. "Is there a point you're trying to make, Jake? Or are you trying to relieve your glory days?" Jake was silent for half a second before he asked, "Glory days?" "Isn't that what every college football jock says about their time spent throwing a weirdly shaped leather ball around in a display of exaggerated manhood while pursuing post-secondary education?" Creak. His footsteps on the wood behind you stilled, and Jake remained frozen, shoulders tensing as he spat, “You did not just insult football.” His voice had been low and dangerous, but it didn’t stop you from continuing to climb. His fists tightened at his side, but he didn't move. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Midge." You finally did pause, turning back to look at him. "What? Too close to the truth?" Jake's jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing with a flicker of something you couldn't quite place. "You don't know the first thing about me, Maeve." You scoffed, placing a hand on your hip. "And whose fault is that, Jake? You never gave me a chance to know! Not before you..." You caught yourself mid-sentence, scared out of your mind what almost came out of your mouth. Absolutely fucking not, would you tell him. Nope. No. "Not before I what, Midge? Hmm? Enlighten me!" he challenged. You took a deep breath, swallowing the words you couldn't let slip. "Just forget it," you muttered, shaking your head and turning away.
#horseshoegirlwrites#hangman x oc#set me alight#oh look at that lucky is writing again#i hope you like it#jake seresin fanfiction#jake seresin#jake hangman seresin x reader#jake hangman seresin#sma#maverick top gun#sma sneak peek!
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
First Previous Next
Askbox is open!
#splatoon#splatoon 2#splatoon 3#agent 4#agent 8#for anyone who remembers the og ata this arc is inspired by the talk comic#it took me a while to figure out how to address this topic#as someone who's dealt with sh in the past i dont think its talked about enough and this is actually what i wanted to do for liv years ago#but i was too scared to pursue it at the time#this whole thing was so hard for me to write and i hope im doing olivia justice. a lot of her thoughts are my own#if anyone is wondering why the scars arent there with her agent outfit - she wears flesh colored leggings to cover them
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Procrastinating my actual assignments got me writing poetry for the first time in over a year
#of course not related to the topic i chose for the project#i like doing the research im just scared of what comes after (#an art project)#ive gotten very scared of...that. i dont feel creative or worthy of even trying to be an artist anymore#i also hated the commercial field#im too much of a loner for the social field#and i dont care enough about myself to pursue autonomous projects#its fine#i just dont know what im gonna do in a year from now#assuming ive graduated on time and everything
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR. KEVIN PHILLIPS
#super dark times#zach taylor#allison bannister#sam edits#if you listen closely you can hear the sound of both mine and Allison's hearts breaking! <3#ok but fr: i know this is gifs. so no sound. but the WAY he DELIVERS the 'you've got a bump on your head' line makes me NUTS#it's so soft. it's so fond. it's... it's a punch in the fucking gut. he likes her *so much* but he *can't let himself have this nice#thing with her* because he's *being eaten alive by guilt he can't accept & won't let himself be happy because of it* and SHE DOESN'T KNOW!#like the thing. the thing is. when you watch SDT you're along the ride with Zach and his POV of everything. despite the obvious paranoia#& guilt warping his perspective/influencing his behavior—we can see where that's all coming from. we understand the motivations#behind the actions he takes. but ALLISON? Allison has no fucking clue what's going on! from Allison's perspective... Zach is this guy she's#known for a while (like they make a point of *telling us* in one of the earliest scenes that Zach feels weird talking about her in the#detached way they may talk abt other people in their grade they barely know—because it's *different* since he and Josh *actually know her*#plus in the script [and it STILL COUNTS TO ME because she *starts* saying the line but just gets cut off by Dennis] Allison brings#up Zach & Josh having had a silly handshake since 7th grade ['oh god that used to make me pee!' <- girl why would u say that to him]#so it's like... these are kids who've known each other for years!) and he's got this obvious fucking crush on her (the hallway scene where#he is. blatantly staring and she catches him for a second) and the moment she decides to actually start pursuing him because SHE'S#got a crush on HIM too... he starts pulling away and acting erratic and sending her the most mixed signals in the fucking world.#and sheee THINKSSS ITS HERRR FAULT!!!!!!!! like. listen. this scene i giffed above? this is what she's fucking talking about later#when she jokes about not wanting to 'scare him off again'. like sure she says it like a joke but... uhm. i simply think there's#a certain amount of truth to it too—because he DID leave the party visibly freaked out! and i think it'd be perfectly believable for her#to think that it was at least partially HER pushing too hard that was causing him to withdraw/pull away from her. plus she blatantly says#she thinks she's the reason Josh & Zach are fighting. like. this poor girl is on the outskirts of a tragedy she'll probably NEVER know the#details of but she's seeing firsthand the impact it's having on Zach and... blaming herself... that's so fucking heartbreaking
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
I need to stop going through the cycle of realizing I'm ruining and wasting my life and then not doing anything about it every week I can't do this anymore godddddd
#vent#sowwy I'm just so tired#i really don't like my major I feel like I'm not learning anything and I'm just wasting my time pursuing something I'm not good at#and which doesn't even bring me joy#plus I'm too scared to look for work because ehat if I can't keep up with my classes. which I already can't and I can't figure why#why does everything go wrong each semester i made a point to start assignments early this time but I can't keep it up for more than a month#the thing is when I had a job I was tired all the time but at least work was work and I hd weekends off#right now it's like either I do uni or I feel bad for not doing uni and not using my time on this forsaken planet to do something#and I know the steps I need to take to not feel miserabel all the time i do!!! but i can't figure out why I don't do it already#i need to find a job so i can get out of the uni sphere and feel like I'm actually doing something. also i need money.#then i can study at my own pace and stop doing too many classes#and if then i find out I hate the job I'm doing I can still try something different but uh I don't ACTUALLY hate urban planning I just hate#how out of touch uni is. this was supposed to br fun and enlightening but i just. keep tripping over my own incompetence
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
everyday i doomscroll my fucking social media sites chasing the taste of internet fame. it's horrible and makes me feel horrible but i can't stop it. girl help i cannot get out of this cage i unknowingly trapped myself in
#like i try to be funny on twitter . i try to be funny here. i try to post pictures on instagram that i think would get likes#i post memes. i make jokes that i know are funny to particular people/ fandoms#i chase this taste of fame and whenever i realize im doing it again i've just dug myself deeper into this grave#i want to come out but i dont want to come out. i wish i could have more followers. i want likes and i want to be famous#i want to be a famous authorbut im too scared to ever post anything#everything i write is tied so fucking deeply into the person i am that the idea that people are going to see ME scare me#i barely have any goals and im not doing anything to pursue them#social media and the loneliness i cant put into words are sucking the soul and life out of me#everyday i wake up and think up five hundred different funny things to say. my jokes never land.#my five seconds of internet fame is always Just out of reach from me and i dont know what to do to have it in my grasp#i know it's all so shallow and superficial but we all like getting likes on our insta posts and we all like people rting/rbing our posts#im kind of a horrible person but im so fully aware of it that it reduces the horribleness so now im just an empty person#i take classes on subjects i dont think i even want to have careers in. i dont really care for the future despite my worrying#theres so much i want to do and yet theres nothing i want to do#theres an inexplicable void in me that makes me feel like im being edgelord3000 but really. its just.#its just that theres a fucking void and nothing i do fills it. i write on ao3#and sometimes i dont know if i like myself at all or i like the kudos and comments i get.#anyway. s4pphoiduser out i guess. time to go back to studying for an exam i couldn't give two fucks about.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
A lot of this resonates with me as I've been having similar thoughts recently, primarily in regards to what they said about believing that you cannot have romantic love without a strong friendship cause even though I've yet to be in a long-term relationship, I strongly feel the same there.
I'm mostly going to generalize here but, yeah I want a partner to have a sexual & romantic relationship with but neither are what I want the main pillars of the relationship to be.
I want a best friend as a romantic partner, to be with someone where we can do anything & everything together without getting sick of each of other and not feel emotionally drained at the end of the day but, also maintain our independencies in doing on our things outside of spending time together.
To choose to love each other, faults; baggage and all, to work with and be patient with each other when our individual triggers inevitably rear their ugly head.
Ultimately I desire to be with someone to just live; enjoy and work through life with. To show and make each other feel wanted, adored and respected.
And if I manage to find multiple people to do that all with, even better honestly.
no offence but i think a lot of us me included don’t actually want romantic love as badly as we think and really are just lonely and crave a closeness and intimacy that feels out of reach in friendships because of society’s emphasis on marriage and the nuclear family so we project that into the never ending search for a perfect love and a soulmate when really we all just want to mean something to someone
#to be wanted & chosen by someone is such a strong craving right now#especially since I've been feeling like an outcast lately#I can function being alone just fine but that's how I've functioned since I was kid so it's all I've ever known#I want to experience and learn what's it's like to be in a romantic relationship with someone#I want to experience being in love and having it be requited#I'm genuinely scared It'll never happen though#being demisexual by the time I develop a romantic interest in someone it's always been too late to pursue anything which is frustrating#and also doesn't help with finding potential partners as it can take weeks to years for me to develop romantic feelings if at all
185K notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m in my early 20s so sometimes I forget I don’t live in a vacuum. If I fail here, if I pause here, there is so shame or rush, there are people around me that can help break my fall and I’m so lucky for that. My only job is to explore and figure out what will leave me with a fulfilling life and how my friends and family fit into that.
#I’m a neuroscience major and I have no idea what I want to do with it anymore.#in highschool and early university years it was always medical school#but first year and second year of university really broke me down#I have been considering what career I want since second year and have panicked and panicked and panicked#I don’t want to mess up the career I choose but. I have to understand that it’s ok if I do.#there’s probably no career that will be truly satisfactory#i’m rambling#I wish I had a clear cut goal#something that is driving me or something big and lofty I want to accomplish#I’m just going to list things I want in a career rn bc I’m ranting anyways#I don’t want to climb a hierarchy or rather I don’t care for it. I’m not the best at conversations and I’m terribly awkward#but I do get an energy boost when I talk to people#but my focus is best when I work on my own bc I tend to make more mistakes when working with others#when I do research for an assignment I can focus for hours at a time without getting up#all of these make me think that research might be smth to pursue rather than healthcare#but I’m scared about work life balance and general job stability#also imposter syndrome is going to hit hard#I have to do my best to get smth research positiony this summer so atleast I have experience before my last year of undergrad#and that way I’ll KNOW if it’s smth I want.#if all else fails I might go into medical lab tech bc it’s lab work forever and that sounds fun#or rad tech bc it’s a bit repetitive but also I’m scared that bc I would be working with ppl I’d make more mistakes#I just do NOT want to work in business#I’m so privelaged being able to choose a career like this when my parents couldn’t and had to grab at whatever they could#I think that��s part of the guilt of potentially failing. like I CANNOT fail my parents who worked so hard to be here and let me choose#GOD do I want stability most? do I want to learn something new regularly? id love to learn something new everyday#I think I might end up compromise and go into rad tech bc then I’ll be able to maybe do research with the brain and have a stable backup?#talks maburp#THERES TOO MANY CHOICES TOO MANY OPPORTUNITIES TOO MANY THINGS TO CONSIDER#I’m so lucky to be able to consider all these things#YAllah give me strength to make decisions and not get stuck like I keep doing this year. Yallah let opportunities drop on my lap
0 notes
Text
Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭
#i want to say i want to be someone like ayaka but in reality im probably more like hiroko#i used to be someone like ayaka. i was really tunnel visioned and i didn't consider much aside from the person i was interested in#but it's been years now and there's a lot more to consider and it's. hard and im even more scared now.#i think there's someone who im currently talking with who's trying to figure out if im into women or not and if im available or not#but it's that sort of thing where there's just. a lot in my shoulders and a lot to consider. i want a relationship eventually but.#there's just so much to consider right now. in the past i thought that as long as i could make my partner happy a rx is just btwn 2 of us#but when i did actually get into a serious long term relationship i realized that most people. do expect getting to have in laws.#people for the most part want to be loved proudly and not have to hide it. and i do too. but at the same time. i just. there's so much on me#i almost came out to my dad the other day while trying to console him. but maybe that news would just be the last straw for him. idk.#i just can't really afford to have my life be shaken up much more right now when i just rebuilt some stability.#especially when my parents are having a midlife crisis and both of them are leaning on me. my health worsening also stressed them out too.#i really thought I'd be braver and have less to worry about the older i got and the more independent i became but. ig not.#in my teens i told myself once i reached adulthood I'd be free to be myself and pursue happiness. in my 20s i tell myself after med school.#maybe once I'm finally out of med school and etc I'll have the opportunity to live my life. or maybe by then there will be another reason.#it's a real concern. i mean. sure I've never wanted kids I've always been ace and I've always liked women but. the societal pressure.#to other queer people the gaydar goes off easily but to the cishet audience i've mostly. been able to go unnoticed.#and when you're younger not having a bf or ppl you're interested in and being focused on your studies is a thing your parents are proud of#but as i get older. it's just been harder. i don't know how much longer i have before i have to conform or have the cat out of the bag.#i don't even get it sometimes. i really don't. the expectation of family and marriage is wanting happiness for your child right? but somehow#idk. idk. i really don't know. sometimes maintaining an image. might be more important than your child's feelings.#and i really can't be certain that between ego and saving face compared to me that. I'll come out on top. i really don't know.#idk. idk. i know there are ppl interested in dating me. but idk. i really need some time to process things through.#sometimes i ask myself how i would feel abt it and i really can't figure out how i feel at all.#it's ok to date someone u don't love ig. i mean. I've done it before. you can make yourself like someone after a while. but idk if i.#idk i just. i think im just really scared. and I'll need at least another month or so before anything is back on the table.#it's honestly just me running away from having to deal with sorting out thoughts and feelings 👍👍👍 which i eventually will have to face ig#but if i do fall in love ik i have it in me to sort those things out quickly i think. if im not too scared to let myself fall.#ig i just have to get more used to ppl being interested in me again ack 😭 it's easy to ignore it when dating someone but. now.#and it was fine in the summer bc i wasn't really around too many ppl my age. but. ugh. unfortunately. i do have. a face and a personality.#delete later
0 notes
Text
trein...
#i want to write beautiful romance of him falling in love again#with some angst as he still loves and cherishes his wife and awaits their meeting once again#but maybe he comes to realize that his wife would want him to be happy... and that is all he feels with you#the heavy guilt.. he doesn't want to leave her and her memory behind#and it leaves him unwilling to pursue you#eventually though... eventually trein would let his guard down#maybe at first he's done nothing but compare you to his lovely wife (not aloud) but he comes to see the two of you are different#but both wonderful in your own ways#maybe it'd just end in him staying as your close friend and confidant.. he feels as though it's wrong to even think about loving someone els#trein is such a complicated character to simp for given his wife#and the fact he is canonically still very much in love with her#would he ever be able to accept the fact he may be falling in love again?#would he be scared that he is betraying her? would he be scared that you could go dying on him too?#omg imagine if he fell in love with you but you've only got so much time left to live..#the trope of knowing the person you love is going to die.. yet still loving them anyways#makes me so weak!#or knowing that you will return to your world.. between that and his wife.. he decides to leave you be and admire from afar#up late at night talking with the moon (his wife) and asking her what he should do#is she okay with this? would she be angry once they reunited?#or maybe she sends him a message from above and lets him know it's okay to be happy even if it's not with her#he loved her once.. and still does.. but that doesn't mean she's all he ever has to have#trein should be happy even if that means it's not with her by his side#omg and imagine meeting his daughters at one point somehow and they just absolutely adore and fawn over you#they cherish you just as much as he does... and seeing you fit in so well makes him love you all the more..#theyre trying to set their father up because they want him to experience the joy of love once again#he doesn't have to live in and reminiscence on memories he can still make new ones#maybe you give trein that feeling of youth once again.. and when he first meets you it's like the first time he saw his wife and he has a --#-- crisis about it#might be going into the WIPS cause i have a million more thoughts on him#all the staff for that matter really. abt to blabber in rb's to this post later
0 notes
Text
A glimpse of your future partner/spouse.
Remember, tarot readings can help us see possibilities that lie ahead, but it doesn’t mean it is set in stone. Future’s not ours to see and you are responsible for your actions, and you can always choose your own path.
Also remember these probably won’t happen exactly how I say, I’m reading energies and write what vibes I’m getting from it. So it’ll have a same vibes to it, but it won’t be exactly the same. Just keep it in a mind, please.
🖤🕯️
Pile 1
Your person’s energy makes me smile. So so sweet. This person is in touch with their inner child. They know how to have fun no matter the situation and they have the power to light up a room full of mourning people. Social butterfly, probably everyone loves them, they’re on good terms with everyone. THEY LOVE MUSIC. And I’m writing it in all caps, because they really really love music. The type to dance to any song as long as they vibe with it; to sing along even if they don’t know the words. You’d hear them hum to themselves often, even doing a little dance moves during, for example, making a dinner. They could have a lot of admirers and suitors, but they’re very serious when it comes to love and they don’t really care about the fact so many people want them. Being in a relationship is not something that would be their number one priority. They don’t mind being single and they know how to have fun in their lives even while being on their own; they’re okay with their own company. They don’t show interest in others in a romantic way unless they’re really interested and unless they really mean it. So your person isn’t really one to flirt with just anyone and when someone flirts with them - they just don’t care. But they’re still nice about it and reject people gently. This is definitely not a rude or judgmental person, quite the opposite - your person is very sweet, caring, empathetic and respectful. Charismatic, well spoken, well mannered. They’re very serious when it comes to their family and people they love. Now, when it comes to you. Excuse me, but this is just so sweet. (Enchanted by Taylor Swift just started playing, and I swear, this song describes the vibe I’m getting from this pile perfectly). Haha and now I’m literally hearing Mr. Darcy’s line “You have bewitched me, body and soul..” ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Where did you find this person pile 1, I want one for me please. The moment your person sees you - the world stops for them. And I’m not being dramatic, it’s true. It’s probably not a face to face encounter, I get the feeling like you won’t notice them at first. They’re like talking with their friends and you’re there with yours, not really paying attention to your surroundings.. But they see you, and they can’t look away. Their heart is beating so fast, but they feel suddenly scared, too. This feeling is too strong, too overwhelming at the moment. They’ve been hurt in past, someone broke their heart and since then there’s this anxious feeling and fear of falling for someone; falling in love again. And they just did. This is a love at first sight, pile 1. They’ll be the one to pursue you and I see you two smiling the whole time. You’ll feel comfortable with them, they make the conversation flow smoothly and it’s so easy to talk to them. They make you laugh and it’s like you’re talking with your longtime friend. They can’t look away from your face the whole time, constantly admiring how beautiful you look - it’s unreal to them. I’m hearing they really love especially your hair and eyes. You’re charmed by them. You think they’re very attractive too. The conversation won’t be short - I see you talking and being together for hours that day. You both enjoy each other’s company. Also I have a feeling like they had to hide their inner child from their previous partner/s because it was viewed as childish and immature. But that’s not true. Your person is very smart, mature and even hardworking. They weren’t happy in their previous relationship/s. They always had to act like somebody else for others to fully accept them; that’s probably the reason they’re now so happy and comfortable being in their own company - they have learnt to embrace this part of themselves and decided not to change for others anymore. I’m proud of them.
🕯️🖤
Pile 2
First thing first, let me just tell you I want to hug your person. Such a gentle soul, but so so sad. I see someone laying on their bed, listening to music and feeling defeated. They don’t go out much, not like they used to at least. They could cry often, or feel like it - they just feel too much. They could have social anxiety and feeling insecure. The most caring person you’d ever meet. As I said, very very gentle soul, sensitive and loving. Protective of their loved ones, would do anything for them. Definitely enjoys cuddles and doesn’t mind being a little spoon. This makes them feel safe. Gentle touch and words of affirmation, stroking their hair and just being wrapped in each other’s arms. This all makes them feel so so safe. Even though they’re not very social, people usually like them and they have a circle of good friends. They could enjoy food and they would love going out to eat with you. You would really help them to get out of their comfort zone and go out more often. The truth is they love a little adventure and you make them feel so safe and comfortable that they actually feel braver to face and overcome their fears. This person is not the type to argue; they’re emotionally very mature and isn’t afraid to talk about and show their feelings. They probably have a sweet voice too, like, think Tom Holland - I think his voice is really cute. They would love spending time with you, only the two of you. Whenever you would be around, their whole world would light up. (Cover me in sunshine by p!nk started playing). This pile also gives me vibes of meeting online perhaps. Or communicating a lot through social networks, I’m seeing especially discord and also you or your person (or both) could play video games a lot. This pile’s person is so chill, it’s rare for them to yell and they’re veryyy comfortable to lay on? Their hugs are so comforting and their every touch is soo gentle. They’re just like a big soft teddy bear. During this reading I can’t stop seeing night sky and town at night even though it’s a daytime right now so I think being together during nighttime would be your thing. Like night walks, going out late when lights are already on, long night conversations, movie nights.. - staying awake for hours, just enjoying each other’s company. You would also often text each other just to check on the other. Or when something exciting happens, or something reminds you of them, you sent it/text it to them almost immediately. They do the same. You just want to include each other in everything, even when you’re not together at the time. There could be a third party in your relationship, somebody who doesn’t want you together. There’s jealousy and envy. When I said I have online vibes from this pile, it’s possible you or your person are part of some online community/group. They can be well known online, perhaps it’s an influencer or even youtuber, streamer or just someone who have a lot of followers and admirers on social media. Be careful and don’t let those people get in between you two. Otherwise, your person is very private and guarded and it can take some time to see their truest self. They can even be a little shy at the beginning of your relationship, but once they feel comfortable with you, they let you see what they’re really like under these walls they’ve built around their heart - and you’ll like it. Just be patient, it can take some time to get there, but it will be so worth it.
🖤🕯️
Pile 3
This person.. i get such a luxurious vibe from them. It’s someone who behaves well, has a respect for others (as long as these ‘others’ are respectful too). They don’t like egoistic people and shake their head at ‘i’m better than others’ attitude. This person is very smart, wise and grounded. I see them being very successful in work, but not that much in love. Definitely gives me vibes of someone who isn’t scared easily, can get through any challenge life throws at them. It’s rare to see them smile, truly from heart i mean. They can have hard time to look a little deeper within themselves, they have a tendency to push their emotions aside, and never really deal with them. These emotions are building up inside of them, waiting to burst one day, and it won’t be pretty. It can then cause burn out, depression and isolation. This being said, i don’t see them as someone who gets aggressive even if they’re really angry. That’s why they would rather isolate themselves, to not hurt others. Even when they’re angry, they deal with it in a rational, calm way. Well, being rational is their default mode. They’re always like that. So they don’t really show sympathy in a way you would sometimes like them to; that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Figuring things out and trying to see logic in everything is how they are, and if they try to help you that way, trust me they love you very much. Act of service is main love language here. But that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t hug you and cuddle with you for comfort. They would, if you needed that - it’s not like they would try to avoid it or be against it. Nono. They love to touch you, and they love you touching them. Not even in a sexual way. I would even say physical touch is one of their strongest love languages too. It’s like a puppy in wolf disguise, you know what i mean? They have that soft spot for you. They always look clean, smell good and take a good care of themselves. They can look tired all the time, even if they’re not and their voice can sound husky/tired too. Very charismatic people, others look up to them, it’s like they have no enemies, everyone smiles when they interact with your person. Because of pushing their emotions to the side, it can be really hard for them to deal with their feelings for you. At least in the beginning, before they get used to it. The love could overwhelm them, because they are used to being alone, just focusing on work and themselves. They value honesty, loyalty and respect. Don’t worry, they can be goofy too. Very funny too, i hear laughing. They are really good with kids. If they have ex, you don’t have to worry about them, ever. They know what they want, and if they ended it with someone, they don’t look back anymore. Their eyes would be on you only. VERY LOYAL. I mean it. They can have a tendency to get away from you sometimes. (Now i mean like they would need alone time, think about it all, organize their thoughts and emotions). This relationship would need patience from your side especially, it would take some time before your person would open up and let their guard down. But it’s worth it. They need to heal and forgive themselves first, in order to love you how you deserve. But once this healing is done, their life becomes more peaceful and balanced. They need that love in their life, otherwise it’s just work, work, work for them. They need that balance and someone have to remind them to take a break and just alow themselves to relax. After time, you become even bigger priority than work for them. They will protect you, provide for you, just make sure you have a wonderful life. But not in an obsessive way, they just care about you and want you to be happy. Communication is easy with them, you can tell them anything. They won’t get angry or upset, like i said, they look at things in a rational way and they want the communication between you to feel comfortable for both sides. Also, your person can enjoy their everyday late hours alone time. It’s just important to them, so they can get up next day and keep going. Everyone needs that.
🕯️🖤
Pile 4
This pile is full of love. I mean, all of the piles are, but this one is overflowing. Someone is waiting for love, patiently even tho it hurts sometimes, but they never lost hope. Optimistic person. Romantic. Full of love. Heart of gold. For some i heard your person could be a biker. Someone who has a lot of close friends, true friends. This person has a really sweet smile and they smile very often. I see hair color on the darker side, like dark brown, black maybe or even dirty blonde that is more on a brown side. Outgoing personality. Golden retriever energy. But even with all this, they can still be pretty introverted and especially private. This is someone who believes in true love and who is waiting for the one. For some, this person could have an ex that they rather pretend doesn’t exist. Maybe that ex really broke their heart, and your person could take it REALLY hard, considering their believe and hope in true love. Someone could see their view on love naive. Not their friends tho. Their friends are really, really supportive and caring. There’s a family-like bond between your person and their friends. These people are lot of fun. Your person really knows how to have fun. They’re still really kind and pretty sensitive. Probably loves animals and has a cat or dog. Could like to wear hoodies, especially black ones. And more oversized ones. Cuddles, gentle touches and playing with your hair. Teenage love. This person would adore you. Worship you even. However, their obsession with love can cause them to not focus enough on other matters like work, education, their own goals etc. They sometimes need a reminder to focus on themselves too. But they are very ambitious and really smart, even tho they can seem almost childish and reckless at times, they are such an intelligent people and can be serious when needed. They kinda give me leader vibes too. They’re probably the most popular person in their friend group. People like them, listen to them, many have a crush on them too. They can be very bold and cunning when they have to be and they always stand up for their loved ones no matter who’s in right. And they can really make a fuss about it. It’s like these guys arguing with Karens when they’re being accused of something they didn’t do (or perhaps they did). This person has a good and charming way with words, can easily convince people. They’re not really the one for fancy dates, and classy things. They love the adventure; fun and just being silly together. Lot of laughs. Being outside all the time. Getting along with each other’s friends. Carnival dates. Late night dates. If it’s a rider, going on rides together would be your thing.
.
.
.
I hope you enjoyed this reading, beautiful souls. <3
This time all of the piles are pretty positive, so I guess majority of lucky people found this post. :p For real tho, I hope you’re all doing well in life and I’m sending a lot of love and hugs your way, I promise it always gets better in the end.
-A
#tarot reading#pick a pile#pick a card#love reading#future spouse#future partner#intuitive reading#tarotblr
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Beauty and the Beast
An event where you are a woman in the 50s trying to turn the head of your neighbor, Francis Mosses when you are stalked and pursued by his evil counterpart.
Art by ilameys
Zettai Zetsumei • Co shu Nie
Word Count: 5.7k
⚠️: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT ♥ Manhandling, Slight body horror descriptions, descriptions of blood, himbo!doppelgänger!Francis Mosses, Yandere Behavior, Mentions of Stalking, sexualization of the female MC by Fake Francis, SMUT(CNC, mentions of a "rape kit"), and monster cock.
I write for free, but if you wanna further support me > Ko-Fi 🎀
Life was somewhat boring for you as a woman in the 50s. Despite being sought after by a lot of the men in your apartment complex, you had your heart set on one man. You only got to see him once a day. Francis Mosses. When he would deliver milk to your door in the morning. No matter how cute or cherry you were, it seemed like his mind was set on other things. The man always looked tired but you thought he was handsome no matter what. Maybe even more handsome…it was just something about hot men being tired that made them so much hotter.
You had hoped that eventually, he’d notice you and finally take you on a date!
But that hope soon faded when you read the newspapers. They talked about how doppelgängers are becoming a lot more frequent and the D.D.D. would be installing new units everywhere to ensure that no evil counterparts are making their way into the homes of others and killing people. You were able to tell if this made you feel safer or a lot more scared. What if someone made a mistake…?
Well, you didn’t have a chance to feel anything really, as the D.D.D. was extremely secretive about this kind of threat. After some time, it became normalized and it soon left your mind. The Doorman job seemed to be pretty effective as you had never seen any monsters before and were very much alive. It was rumored that the creatures would murder and eat any person they encountered if they succeeded in passing as humans. This is another reason you had your heart set on Francis. You felt as though he could protect you at a time like this. Maybe it was naive of you but after all, you were just a girl.
“Good Morning.”
Upon hearing the small knock at your door, you went to greet him. Francis stood tall, rather confused about you coming to get your bottled milk so quickly.
“Oh, good morning…” He replied flatly, gripping the strap of his milk bag. You thought that maybe he had a mutual crush on you and was too shy to act on it. So, you could take that step for him.
“How are you this morning? I hope that life is agreeing with you today.” You stepped outside of your apartment door with your glass of milk in hand. Francis shrugged. “I suppose it is.” He then yawned before saying “What’s wrong? Are you looking for another?”
You blinked. “Huh?” Your eyes then darted down to your hands. “O-Oh…sure.” You smiled attractively, causing him to break eye contact with you. He reached into his milk carrier and revealed and took out another. “You’re only allowed to get one every day but you can have mine.” He walked up to you and placed the bottle into your free hand.
“Th-Thanks!”
“Don’t mention it.”
After he disappeared around the corner, you were filled with joy! That interaction was such a good sign. He gave you his milk bottle. You had to make him something for dinner tonight as a gift!
Thunk!
You almost jumped at the sound of glass falling on the carpet at the far end of the hallway behind you. It looked like an empty milk bottle if you squinted hard enough. There was a shadow as well. It made you feel uneasy and quickly made you retreat into your home.
You wanted to try seeing if you could have more time with Francis. There was a job opening for the D.D.D. Doorman of your building and you instantly took it. Being able to meet with Francis when he wasn’t busy might have your conversations with him take a turn for the better. You really appreciated his selfless gesture. So, seeing him at least twice a day would make your life so much brighter. Francis was the complete package. Tall, handsome, quiet, and most of all, soft-spoken. You’d be a good wife to him.
On the first day of the job, you didn’t receive any proper training. You were given an informational video and a set of instructions that you scrambled to memorize as a long line of your neighbors awaited their inspection outside. The job was easy at first and you did it well. It was a chore but those are easy. You let in the right people and you called the D.D.D. when you found a doppelganger like you were instructed to. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, Francis didn’t pay you any mind. You gave him a soft smile through the glass before asking him about his day.
“I hope work is treating you well.” You pitched your voice up to sound cuter. Your graceful hands moved swiftly as you sifted through the many layers of documents, trying to organize them before your next neighbor. “Yeah, I suppose.” He answered, blinking rather slowly. Your smile widened. “Any days off soon? I’d like to see you outside of your uniform.” You winked at him and he just shrugged. “Dunno.”
“Well, maybe, sometime after your hard work, you tell me a day you’d think you would be free?”
You waited with anticipation for his response. He seemed rather confused and it was rather adorable. Then he said “I don’t really know. I think I’m busy but I’ll let you know if that changes.”
Your smile faltered just a little but you were good at faking emotions. “Oh, no worries.” You waved him off in a playful manner before pressing the button to allow him inside. Your shift ended and you thought that you should probably get to making that dinner for him as a ‘thank you’ for the free milk. As you began to clean up, the pressure of your job began to set in. This wasn’t something that you could just quit if Francis were to reject you. Ignoring all the unexplainable noises, the dark figures, and the constant feeling of being watched, it would be very awkward seeing him every day after that.
It was a new day. Francis came to check into the building and you let him go without chatting with him because you didn’t want to seem like a bother. But…then you saw him again.
“Francis?” You cutely tilted your head. The way he looked at you was much different than usual. The Francis you knew could barely make meaningful eye contact with you but right now he had no problem burning holes into your skull with his eyes. Not only that but he was visibly bigger as well. Taller and more masculine. His arms were big and veiny. This was NOT Francis Mosses.
“I-ID…?” You gave a nervous half-smile as you tried to hide your stutter. The humanoid creature gawked, a subtle sense of happiness washing over its face the longer it stayed there. “Don’t have it on me.” It replied plainly. You picked up the clipboard before exing out the box that was labeled “ID.”
“W-Well, you seem to look a lot like someone who’s already checked in. Please, give me a moment to confirm.” You flashed it a close-eyed smile. Upon seeing it, the fake Francis moved closer to the window, fogging it up with its mouth breathing.
You pressed the big red button to close the shutter before dialing the number to the D.D.D.
The representative told you someone would be over right away to dispose of the doppelgänger. It only took about a minute before they’d arrive. Normally, the shutter would open on its own after being reset by the D.D.D. member but for some reason, it didn’t You figured that now would be a good time to open it to help the last neighbors but when you did, you were not met with the hazmat suit you were so familiar with.
In front of you was the same fake Francis from before, now covered in some blood. His expression was one of annoyance and the veins in his arms were pulsating as if he were trying to contain some kind of anger.
“E-Excuse me, but you need to—!”
“Let me in.”
Your heart dropped. It talked! And it sounded just like Francis too.
You shook your head. “N-No! I’m not letting a monster in.” You reached for the number to re-dial the number again.
“But I think you look so pretty today. You wore that just for me, huh? I’d love to t-tear it off of you.” The creature’s neck involuntarily cracked its neck, twisting it in a demonic way. You screamed at the sight, pressing the button once more to close the shutters so that you wouldn’t have to see it. As they went down, the doppelgänger tried to stop it by putting his hand under it. It got caught in the track, causing it to get stuck on the track and it was open halfway.
“Come on, Darling, I know you’re not about to call those bastards again. I don’t want to have to hurt anyone else.” The large man-creature crouched down. You could see his fanged canine teeth poking out of his mouth. You backed away from the window with the telephone in hand.
3312…
You listened to the dial tone for a few seconds before the receptionist answered.
“Hello?”
“P-Please send help!” You cried over the phone. Tears began to spill out of your eyes upon hearing the squeal of metal as the predator stretched and bent it to his will. The glass was the only thing left that could stop him from entering.
You saw how abnormally long his tongue was when it glided over his lips. “I just want to taste you…”
The receptionist dispatched another group of workers to help dispose of the doppelgänger. They arrived almost instantly. It was only then that the fake Francis moved away from the window. You sighed in relief, trying to calm yourself down from the events that transpired. You ran over to the tempered glass. The mental door looked like sheet paper.
You saw no trace of the Hazmat people but you also didn’t see the fake Francis anymore. You quickly gathered your things and rushed to leave. You opened the door to let yourself out. You planned to run to your room and lock the door but as soon as you had left the room, you bumped into a stiff, toned chest. The figure grabbed you by your neck and forced you to look at them. The gloved hand was covered in blood and it stained your skin and the collar of your dress.
“Where do you think you’re going, Princess?”
His grip around your throat was so tight that you weren’t able to form words. It was completely covered in blood and in its other hand was a knife dripping with blood as well. It kept the violence to one side of the room so that you weren’t able to see anything unless you completely left the screening room.
The light clank of the knife hitting the ground could be heard and its newly free hand grabbed your waist. The doppelgänger hugged you to its masculine chest. Its head rested itself on top of yours before it planted its nose in the crown of your head before inhaling your scent deeply. The blaring sound of the alarm continued to go off and it was deafening.
Your nose was overloaded with the scent of fresh blood. The pure shock didn’t let you resist his touch. His grip loosened and you dropped everything you had in your hands on the floor, staining it in with the red substance
“P-Please.”
You felt its large hand around the back of your neck and you feared that it would snap it and kill you any second. You held your breath as you felt it set the other hand on your waist as well, rubbing it gingerly.
It felt like the doppelgänger was sizing you up to see if you’d be a good enough meal for it.
“He-ey, beautiful. It's… okay…”
The doppelgänger’s speech was somewhat disconnected but it was fluid for the most part. At first, it was clear he was a fake but the more he kept talking, the more it sounded like the real thing…like it was learning in real time.
Your heart rate accelerated when you felt its hand travel ever so slowly from your waist to the collar of your dress. The inhuman smile on its face widened and it suddenly ripped the cloth that covered your torso. You gasped, instinctively covering your now exposed bra.
You wiggled out of its grip and used the opportunity to run. You kicked off your pumps and ran barefoot to your apartment. All you could do was hope that more of the D.D.D. would come and solve the issue before anyone else could get hurt. The emergency alarm was still going off so the authorities should be there soon.
When you arrived at your door, you tried to scramble to look for your keys so that you could get inside but…
…you remembered that you dropped them along with the rest of your possessions.
The sound of heavy footsteps approaching behind you. The large shadow engulfed your smaller form.
“Allow me.” The stranger said, calmly. Their large fist went through the door handle, shattering the lock and making it completely useless. You were too shocked to try running again. It found you.
The doppelganger shoved you against the door, swinging it open and causing you to fall forward inside of your home. You hit the floor with a soft but swift thud. “I see the way you look at him.” Its voice was laced with venom—anger but left more to be desired. It was playing with you awfully long for a creature that was trying to kill you.
“But you’d never look at me that way…”
The Fake Francis entered the apartment making sure to secure the door behind it so that you couldn’t run anymore. You cried and whimpered as it took its sweet time pushing your bookcase in front of the door so no one would intervene with what was supposed to happen next.
“I-I don’t know what you’re—” You couldn’t even finish your sentence as it smashed its lips into yours. Its tongue was like that of a serpent, slipping its way into your mouth. You tried to push it away but any attempts just resulted in your lips connecting once more. It was too strong.
You were terrified but it passed so much for the real Francis.
“Tell me you don’t like it ‘n I’ll stop.” It whispered into your mouth before it French kissed you once more. You kissed it back, unable to resist his appearance any longer. When it pulled away, a string of saliva connected between both of your mouths. It’s warm breath hits the surface of your face, eyes full of lust and horror.
It’s soft lips attached themselves to your neck, biting and sucking until your skin slowly began turning red. “Mmm.” It hummed deeply, traveling lower and lower until it reached the cavern between your breasts. “You’re sensitive here, aren’t you?” It placed kisses in the valley of your chest, waiting for a reply. You were unable to form words at this point. It wanted to ravage you and steal your innocence. It took your idleness as consent, continuing on with satisfying itself and by extension, satisfying you.
It took the delicate hand you had been using to drive a wedge between the both of you. You thought that at this point it was going to break your arm! You squeezed your eyes shut, ready to endure the pain but…it didn’t. You felt the heated bulge beneath it’s bloodied white trousers. It throbbed.
That’s when it finally clicked for you. It wasn’t playing with you like you were food. It wasn’t trying to taste you and pick it’s teeth with your bones. It wanted to be with you. To breed you.
“I—ah~♡!” You bit down on your lip to contain the pretty moans that left your mouth. Your bra was removed, fully exposing your breasts. Its tongue touched the tip of your nipple and its mouth enveloped over your entire areola. It licked and sucked on the bud until it was nice and hard. The other hand was subtly slipped under your dress.
It took barely any strength at all to rip the fabric, showing how inappropriately wet you’d become from this activity. It craved the essence that was oozing from your tiny cunt.
At the feeling of the cold wind, you brought your legs together just to have them forced apart again. The creature made you feel so small and vulnerable. It used force when it felt necessary but overall, it was….soft. Licking, kissing, biting but no drawing blood, taste, loving.
It salivated at your legs, raising one and nuzzling the side of its face into the smooth skin. “So…gorgeous.” It pulled you forward. “When I saw you, I knew I wanted you.”
“Y-You did…?” You squeaked. It’s touch sent goosebumps from your limp to the rest of your body. “Two years I’ve been watching you. It was so damn annoying seeing you talk to that piece of meat.”
Piece of meat?
“I don’t know who you mean.” You shied away from the perfect creature. Could it mean…
“F-Francis?” You knitted your eyes together in confusion.
“Yes—HIM!” The doppelgänger dropped your leg and pulled you by your thighs to its crotch. “…I could never decide what skin would be the best to pursue you in. But then I’d see the way you look at him.” Pre-cum was beginning to show from its member inside. You could feel the wet fabric on the lips of your hot cunt. “So, I became him…but better.”
You heard the subtle unzipping sound of the pants and it took out its thick cock. It was larger than normal and didn't look like the standard male genitalia. You’d need to use both hands to hold it.
There was no denying this thing could perfectly replicate a human man. Before you could even react, the big “man” picked you up by your hair.
“Get on your knees.” He commanded and you felt obligated to obey him. You’ve never been in a situation where you were being held up by a man like this.
“I’m gonna split you in half with this cock.” He pushed its large tip against your cheek, straining it with warm cum. “Open your mouth.”
Your lips parted for a moment but you hesitated. There was no way that whole thing could fit into your mouth. Your eyes traveled up to his for guidance. He only stared down at you with hard, tired eyes. The corner of his mouth tugged upward into a smirk.
“I said…open your mouth.”
He spoke through his teeth as if it were a threat. You were reluctant but tried to ease it in. You kissed his tip, causing him to grunt and tighten his fist around your hair. “Open.” He growled, yanking your head back. His cock was so close to your face that you could truly take in its side. It was nearly the length of your skull.
You opened your mouth out of fear and he shoved it inside. He was kind enough to let you get used to it in your throat by going soft and slow…or maybe he was just distracted by the imprint showing on your throat.
You grabbed his hips to keep yourself from falling backward. Even a bit of force made you lose your balance. “Good girl.” He sighed, relaxing into you, pushing the limits by pushing it deeper. Your choking and gagging only made him feel pleasure.
“You struggling with my dick in your mouth is so hot.” You heard him mutter under his breath. Your eyes began to water from the choking, causing tears to carry mascara down your cheeks.
“Keep sucking.” He fucked into your throat and gentle too. “I’m close.”
Both of his hands found themselves on the back of your head. He sped up his pace until a loud groan emitted from his chest and a mysterious liquid found its way down your throat.
The doppelgänger let go of your hair. You fell back on your bottom and he crouched down. “Hey.” He called, grabbed both sides of your face with one hand. He squeezed your cheeks together. “Swallow.”
You swallowed what was left and once he knew it was in your belly, his lips crashed into yours. His tongue wormed its way into your mouth and explored every cavern.
You felt yourself get lifted again but this time to your feet. He walked you over to your dining table and shoved you into it. “Bend over.”
You didn’t really get a choice. When you tried to stand, he forced you down to the table with his hand on the back of your head.
You expected him to say something, but he stayed silent. You felt him explore your backside from your hips to your exposed ass. The wind was so cold but his hands were so warm.
He chuckled darkly, spreading your ass cheeks and sticking his shaft in between. His dick was so much bigger than you that you would definitely have a belly bulge because of it. He wanted to experience it for himself.
You waited with silent anticipation for him what he would do next. You weren’t too sexually active anymore because you wanted to reserve that for the real Francis, if you ever got the chance with him, so you were really nervous about having something so big inside.
“Uah!” You squeaked, feeling a wet, warm muscle enter the deepest part of your cunt. It was his tongue!
You whipped your head around to see that his face was buried in you from behind. “Mmm.” You heard him hum vibrations into you. He consumed all of your juices as they came out. It must’ve tasted so good coming from a pretty human like you.
With every moan and whimper that left your mouth, it made his dick grow harder and harder. He didn’t stop until you had creamed all over his tongue. So much came out that it got all over his face too.
“I-Is that it? Is that what you want…?” You asked, but you were only ignored.
“Pick a hole.”
“Wh-wha—“
“Pick a hole, or I will.”
Pick…a hole…?
His large thumb massaged your asshole while his knuckles, now sleek with your cream, was stimulating your pussy.
“Um…I—“
“Both it is!”
Your eyes widened. “Wait, what?!”
You felt his thumb sink deep into your ass while he struggled to get his large tip into your pussy. “Damn you’re fucking tight.” He growled through his teeth. His free hand grabbed your ass, fingers sinking in so deep they’d leave marks.
“W-Wait, you have to go slow!” You cried, face heating up from being touched in such filthy ways. “I am.” He grumbled, pushing the limits of your vagina by forcing himself inside. Despite going at the pace of a snail, the pain of trying to fit himself inside didn’t decrease at all. You helplessly clawed at the table beneath you. It didn’t matter how wet you were. He was too big.
It took a moment but he was able to get it. It slipped in with much ease on his end but the difference inside made you gasp so hard you needed to cover your mouth.
The doppelgänger began thrusting without warning, quickly overstimulating you. You could feel him in your stomach too. You reach back to push him off of you but he just grabbed your arm and kept it. There wasn’t much you could do to get someone this big off of you. You would only take it.
“P-Please…I can’t take it!” You gapped out, drool escaped your mouth as you tried to form words. He was fucking you so hard you couldn’t even think. All that could be heard around the room was the lewd slapping of his filled balls against the bottom of your pussy.
“Beg for it then. Say you love me.” His breath hitched. “Say you want me and I’ll let you go.”
“I—“ Slap!
You tried to speak. “I wa—“ Slap!
It seemed that when you tried to comply with him, he’d remove the hand playing with your asshole to leave a rough, skin-reddening slap on your ass. Your struggling amused him. He couldn’t help but smile.
The doppelgänger has been stalking you for so long. It was hard getting into your apartment normally because of the last doorman but he couldn’t resist you once you were sitting at that desk.
“What’s wrong?” He teased, his deep voice going soft. “My dick isn’t in your mouth anymore…so what’s the issue?” He chuckled. “Beg.”
“I want you!” You blurted out.
“You…want me? Say there’s no one else. Say you love me!” It was like music to his ears, really. It was helping him reach his climax.
“I…I love you—“
“FUCK!”
Your belly bulge quickly became bigger as his cum painted your walls and womb. Even with his dick growing more flaccid, he continued to fuck his cum into you so that you both knew who you belonged to now. Tears spilled out of your eyes as you squirted onto his cock, mixing your juices together.
“I love you too, Princess. More than you could ever imagine—“ Before he could finish, his ears perked up almost like an animal. His attention turned towards your door that he had destroyed before. “Here they come.” He muttered, putting his member back into his pants.
You weakly lifted yourself from the table. Your hand placed itself tight below your navel. It was so sore now. “Who’s coming…? What are you talking about…?”
The doppelgänger ignored you, its horns flesh and bones began contorting and changing color. Its physique turned from that of a huge masculine man to the familiar form of that of a D.D.D. member. Yellow suit and all.
It ran to the door, opening it, and sticking its head out. “I found her, she's in here!” Its voice changed to a generic man as well. Not at all like the deep gruff from before.
Your legs felt like jelly, you fell to the ground as soon as you were able to stand. They were numb from the pleasure, leaving you unable to walk.
What happened next went by as a blur. The D.D.D. Reinforcement Team took you to a hospital where you were taken care of and given rape kit. You were unable to refuse it once the forensics team found semen at the scene. In order to maintain faith in the D.D.D., your assault was largely covered up but only those who were in the apartment that day knew about it.
After the commotion of filing our paperwork and giving information, you were sent home. You didn’t sustain any life threatening injuries but you were asked to come in periodically to see how your body would react to having the semen of a doppelgänger inside of you…so now you were a bit of a test subject to them. You quit the job after that but you were quickly replaced by a new guy.
You hadn’t seen the doppelgänger the entire time. Or at least, you thought you didn’t. You wanted to process the situation but you were more confused as to why it craved so much validation from you. It wanted you to say you loved it. It wanted you to say that you wanted it. It said that it’s been waiting two years to be this close to you. It looked like Francis.
You had just arrived back home. Carpenters quickly replaced your door before you got home and you decided to continue life as usual by making dinner for yourself. Your heart still aches from the fear you felt when you thought you were going to die. And so did your vagina. It didn’t bleed, thank god, but it was sore to the touch from how big that monster was.
“Man, I thought you’d never come back.”
You were alone in your kitchen when a voice emitted from behind you. The familiarity in the voice made your heart drop. You quickly turned around to see the doppelgänger from before, masquerading as Francis again.
“What are you doing here? What do you—“
“Shh, princess.” He strided through your small kitchen, stepping so close to you that you were against the counter with nowhere else to go. You placed your hands on his chest, giving you the illusion that you could push him away. He grabbed your arm by the wrist before kissing the inside of your palm. He kissed your fingers and then the back of your hand before making you cup his cheek, which he nuzzled into lovingly.
You wanted to rip your hand away but his grip was so strong. You blushed. Was it wrong to admit that he…it, was attractive?
“Why didn’t you kill me and eat me? Why did you do that to me?” You questioned meekly. His eyes were closed, enjoying your warm touch with a smile before they opened. His eyes were like hunter's eyes. “Because I love you.” He replied flatly.
“I don’t know what that means…”
You opened your mouth to speak again but you were cut off by a knock at your door.
“I’ll get it.” The doppelgänger quickly said and in a mere second, it shapeshifted to turn into…you. It was able to mimic you in all your glory, including the hickeys, bites and bruises from your attack.
“No!” You blurted out. “Don’t do that.”
The doppelgänger allowed you to move away from it and your arm fell to your side. You went to get the door but you made sure to check who it was before opening.
It was Francis!
“It’s him!” You hurried to your bedroom to find your cardigan to cover your tattered clothes before answering the door.
“Francis? What brings you here?” You forced a smile but your eyes looked just as tired as his. You couldn’t hide anything from him.
“I heard what happened. ‘m so glad you’re okay.” Francis sighed, quickly invading your personal space. He hugged you to his chest. You blinked “F-Francis…?”
“I felt all torn up when I thought you died but when I heard that you were just fine, I just had to come see you myself.” Your stomach burned with delight. Francis was worried about you?
Francis let go of you and you pulled away. His face was red like he was blushing and you couldn’t help but blush too. Your lips curled into a smile. “W-Well, I’m a lot tougher than I look.”
He wanted to smile back but he couldn’t. He saw the marks on your skin. You were hurt. “I know you are.” He masked his sadness with a weak smile. He rested his hand on your head and ruffled it a bit.
It would probably be inappropriate for him to admit that he’s actually had feelings for you all this time, so he’d save it for another day. Hearing the news about the doppelgänger through gossip during his job of going door to door made him realize he could lose you at any moment. But today, he settled with placing a kiss at the crown of your head. “Stay safe. I’ll check on you again later.”
For a moment, everything in your life went still. Even after he had walked away and left you standing there, it didn’t feel real. This more or less confirmed he had a crush on you as well. No man just does that and doesn’t see you as more than just a neighbor.
Your heart fluttered as you came back to reality. You slipped back inside of your home. You need to get cleaned up! You had to bathe and find something suitable just in case Francis wanted to come inside upon your next meeting.
But then….
“You look awfully happy.”
The doppelgänger was still here. You gulped, seeing his much bigger form. He grabbed the sides of your face with his hand again. He didn’t bother crouching because of your size difference, leaving you standing on the tips of your toes.
You were too shocked to try defending yourself, so he continued. “I saw everything so don’t even try to lie. That bastard is so lucky that I have to lay low until the D.D.D. gets their claws out of you or else I would’ve…”
“Don’t hurt him!” You tried to beat and punch his arm to get him off but he didn’t budge. “Why not?!”
“Because…I’ll be sad. And you don’t want me to be sad, do you?” Your voice was unlabeled and lacked confidence. It was a Hail Mary but you’d do anything to prevent Francis from getting hurt.
“Shit.” The doppelgänger let go of you, setting you back on your feet. It seemed…conflicted. He paced around your living room briefly. It had a soft spot for you but you could tell it has trouble processing emotions like a person. It was just imitating a person to get what it wanted.
“You don’t want him. You just wanna marry a guy. I’ll marry you.”
You shook your head. “No. Y-You can’t. You’re not him.”
“Of course I am.” His expression became mischievous. A smirk settled on his handsome face. “You can even call me Francis in bed if it fancies you.”
You felt your stomach do a flip!
“No! I’m not calling you that. Even though you look just like him…wh-what do I call you anyway…?” You retreated inward, hugging yourself and looking quite nervous as if the situation was beginning to dawn on you. You were currently desired by one of the most dangerous beings in the world.
“Francis.”
“Stop! I’m never using that name for you.” You got angry enough to shove him but he didn’t move an inch. You quickly realized that you shouldn’t push too hard or else it might change its mind and kill you.
“Mmm….” You pursed your lips, avoiding eye contact with the monster. “Wh-What about Franz? Is that good enough for you…?”
Franz, huh?
“Perfect.”
Tagged Folks: @z3r0art @chilifrylizard2
#that's not my neighbor#thats not my neighbor#francis mosses#Francis Mosses x reader#Milk Man#Milk man x reader#Yandere Milk Man x Reader#Yandere francis mosses#tnmn#doppleganger#dark romance
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate dating sm I just want to be married to the loml already I fucking hate it here
#personal#why can’t I keep anyone interested or find anyone worth my time that lives near me?#I have crushes I wish I could pursue but Ik they probs don’t /wouldn’t take me seriously so lolz#I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here#before I was too scared to actually go on dates but now… now I can’t find anything lmfao
0 notes