#but i was going for a picture book/crayon kind of style anyway

[stargirl230]

Found.

brought to you by my latest hyperfixation (bᐛ )b

(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)

[knifesxedge]

hi pi! i hope you are well :) if you'd like to, could you share more abt poison and ghoul as parents? i love them so much <3

hi eden! i’m well ty!! and i would LOVE to

uhhh so they’ve raised a kid before, obviously, but when the girl was a baby all of them were teens (ghoul & poison specifically were about 16 when she came home for the first time) so the ‘parenting’ style with her was different than it was with charlie. mostly because it was their first time trying to take care of a child and so when charlie came home they were a bit more confident but ALSO definitely because they mellowed out a bit (poison mostly) when they got older. with the girl it was a more complicated situation — the fab four were somewhere between parental figures and older siblings to her, she was able to get away with a lot more stuff but also saw a lot more claps because they didn’t have any way to keep her from that. with charlie they were able to keep a bit more from her — the girl could watch her, when claps happened, and by the time charlie was born they’d stopped looking for violence/picking fights with dracs, crows, etc. too, which helped.

i think when they were talking about having a baby, one thing that was really important to them was being a Team. so they do their best to talk to each other about everything. and especially when charlie is very little, she always wants to be held, so they take turns passing her back and forth. if poison’s got her, ghoul will make her formula and bring it out for her, with a kiss for both of them and a can of power pup for poison. if ghoul’s got her, it’s poison who’ll get the clothes/bottle/diapers/etc. teamwork!

ghoul has a tendency to talk to babies like small adults. serious faces, serious questions, “uh huh, mm hm, tell me more” with babytalk. i think he kinda talks like this with charlie (and the girl. but this clip specifically makes me think about charlie). he’s very gentle, very good with kids, diagnosed with older sibling syndrome. the problem with that is that he can be a little fussy and overbearing when charlie gets older (he tries not to be. but sometimes he can’t help it 😔) um i think he’s particularly good at doing charlie’s & the girl’s hair. at the same time that he’s good with kids he also has a tendency to take the girl and later, charlie, to dubiously safe situations (ie bomb deals/trades with sort-of dangerous rough-and-tumble crews in like. a jerryrigged baby bjorn/sling with a bag of teddy grahams and a sippy cup in a diaper bag. it does occasionally help deescalate situations if the other crew is jumpy.) also i think ghoul will sing her little songs to help her go to sleep and keeps her with him if he’s working in the shed/diner and she’ll be in either her highchair or on a blanket with her toys where he can keep an eye on her.

poison loves kids and is an older sibling but is also very nervous about turning out like what he vaguely remembers his parents being. also between starting the crow program and leaving the city with kobra he wasn’t....the BEST older sibling (he was actually kind of a dick, and really regretted it later). and they really don’t want to project any of that (any issues whatsoever, really) onto a child, so they’re really careful with kids. they kind of treat the girl and charlie like they’re breakable, especially when they’re very small babies. almost....touch-shy? like especially as a teen he would smile at kids and play with the sandpups at gravel gertie’s when the four volunteered, but he wouldn’t want to hold them, wouldnt want to touch them too much, and that carried over a bit with the girl and even when they had charlie. they got better about that, though they still have a tendency to overthink the way he interacts with kids and talks to them. the upside is that he’s very soft with the girl & charlie, and once he got more used to it, he wanted to make sure they weren’t touch-starved and started being a lot more touchy-feely. it’s like all their sharp edges that outside crews see (and even some that friends/members of their crew see) get smoothed over with their kids. poison’s a bit of a pushover for the girl & charlie so they’ll come home from the market with a new pack of crayons and a little pouch of candy just because charlie pointed at them and made big puppy eyes. ghoul’s more willing to tell her no, so they DO balance each other out. on the other hand if poison is on a run alone with charlie there’s no one to stop them from buying her a new toy or stopping on the way to let her play at gertie’s even if there’s a time crunch <3 (and they will). poison will also take her out on drives if she’s fussy during the night, and he’s a night owl so he’s pretty willing to sit up late with her when she’s an infant and needing to eat formula or be held at like 3 or 4 am.

they keep her crib in their room until she’s old enough to have her own; ghoul made her a mobile out of meticulously cleaned and sanded down spare parts from discarded projects and poison painted the wall behind it. i don’t wanna call them crafty because that makes them sound like a diy pinterest couple (tho. modern au that’s honestly what they are) but they do make a lot of stuff for the girl/charlie (and even later jet’s little cousin) including but not limited to: a new highchair (the girl’s was a lil old by then and also uh. made of a crate and some wood planks), a set of blocks with her name on it, a drac-in-the-box, a monkey halloween costume based off a picture in one of cherri’s many books, and a plush animal (rabbit? giraffe? horse? yes) only a little more finessed than the one ghoul made for the girl when they first adopted her.

other assorted thoughts: they do the little swinging thing between them when they’re standing on either side holding her hands.

poison draws pictures with both the girl and charlie.

charlie will help ghoul make food in the kitchen and steal little bits of batter while ghoul pretends not to notice.

charlie loves being in on a secret so she gets to help plan birthday “surprises” for both her parents & uncle kobra and jet. sometimes it’s not so secret but she gets so excited about it that obviously no one’s going to point it out to her.

when she’s about four charlie finds a hurt baby bird out on the carpark in front of the diner and through the combination of her & the girl making a “presentation” on all the reasons they should be allowed to keep it and ghoul making soft sad eyes at the baby bird in the shoebox poison reluctantly says she can take care of it until it’s better. by the end of the chick’s stay with them poison cries when they have to let it go, so.

this isn’t necessarily a poison/ghoul parenting thought but it is charlie-related um i think the girl was super excited to be an older sister and even though they have a ~14 year age gap between them the girl and charlie are very close. charlie thinks the girl is the PEAK of cool and if they aren’t going to be doing something overly teenage and stupid the girl will let charlie tag along with her and her friends sometimes. she’s also very patient in playing games with her and charlie’s most vocal advocate when it comes to doing stuff she wants (charlie wants to go to see doc. charlie wants a popsicle. charlie wants to play at the playset in zone 3. charlie wants to borrow a movie from uncle cherri) and can understand her when she’s first learning to talk even better than poison or ghoul especially really early on. she’s the diner’s best CJ translator (also i think charlie has a bit of a speech impediment & is hard of hearing so for people outside of the fab four & their circle of friends it can be hard to necessarily understand everything she’s saying; the girl really helps with this and they practice sign language together with ghoul since he’s the best at ZSL in the crew. also she’s autistic just like poison)

anyways wah i talked a lot sorry but i hope this is what you were looking for! (i always love talking about my canon tysm for giving me the opportunity 🥺❤️)

[ofcloudsandstars]

hi, i'm fairly new to witchcraft and i was wondering if you could give me some tips on getting started/link me to reputable sources? i'd hate to accidentally disrespect someone or something.

Hey there! Thanks for your ask. Don't worry too much about the fear of treading somewhere you shouldn't be if you remember this metaphor: Witchcraft is going to be a unique experience to you and it's going to feel a lot like you are building something with a structure, like a house. Everyone's path is kind of like their own house. As long as you don't break into someone's house, or even someone's neighborhood (especially the neighborhoods with a lot of fucking theft and trespassing) then you are good. You can ask for advice or borrow sugar from your neighbors ;) but you do that by what you are doing now: kindly knocking on the door and asking.

I think everyone gets really into trying to follow traditions and such but it's best to start the first few years building a relationship with yourself and your energy before you start the whole reading and researching (and I will get more on this later) along with connecting to deities as well. Everything else is just adding on to your craft but I feel like if you have a solid foundation understanding your own energy then everything else comes naturally. Also once you understand your energy and your connection to magic and nature around you, trying to dig through other cultures and practices won't seem as appealing. It will start to be clear that those cultures created languages and well, cultures, around their relationships with magic and the local nature surrounding them, and you will essentially create your own unique traditions based on your relationship with magic and the local nature surrounding you. It will become apparent that the 'universal energies' everyone talks about is really about how the universe and energies manifest through you and less about finding other cultures accessible because they talk about these same energies. If you think of it like art class it's kind of like how everyone uses the same mediums of art utensils like paints and crayons, but there's a difference between using the same paint and flat out stealing the finished painting from someone else and calling it your own. You should use these first few years to discover your own painting style. (Also other witches I meet that have similar approach to magic as I do all have the same sort of connection and understanding since it's like we are all tapped into the universal energy but it's beautiful cause it manifests uniquely through all of us so it's like the same way nature creates many unique plants, many unique animals or landscapes yet it's all apart of one earth, we are all unique witches reflecting the earth, planets and elements but all kind of the vibe and understanding).

To elaborate on the reading thing, the reason why I am against doing endless research when you first start is because like 85% of witchcraft is subjective since most of it is based off of people's connection to their energy. The part of magic that is not subjective is the relationship to local nature since plants and other elements of nature have their own spirits and actual physical properties that can heal you, bring you to other realms, poison you, transform you etc. The best way to learn from this is less from magical books and more from herbal medicine books, alchemy, farmer's almanacs and indigenous knowledge (as long as you are not taking plants from them that are being over harvested to the point that it's inaccessible to even them.) But anyway aside from the physical realm, the energetic realm is really a big personal experience. Even you asking me this, this is mostly based off of my years of experience practicing. I am a multiracial witch that is nomadic and have lived in different climates among different countries and cultures and am first generation with not much connection to my immediate heritages. So I had to create my practice from (literally) the ground up. My magic came to me when I was super young and I didn't even think of it as witchcraft then I felt more like I was bending energy and circumstance. I was first an energy witch before anything. My witchcraft practice came from nature, the cycles around me and nature's spirits. Though I may not connect with a culture cause my relationship to that is complicated, I find my practice empowering cause no matter where I go when I adapt my practice to the bioregion, I will always be in sync with the magic there and not really fear of appropriating anything since it's kind of connected to the source of nature. My main deity is the earth, if I have a pantheon it's the planets, I am really into astrology and I work with all different types of elements and natural spirits. Working with nature also grounds magic for me since most of my witch years I got used to doing just mostly things with energy now I have physical things to ground it in. ANYWAY with all this being said, now that you kind of understand where I am coming from, it's going to influence the information I am going to give you.

(Also with the deities thing, just in general do not try to connect with spirits until you have a good understanding of your own energy and how to protect yourself. It's ok if you are coming from a culture or family that has connections to a deity and you have protection within that culture but alone with no protection you can find yourself in trouble because there are a lot of predatory spirits- and spirits are definitely tricksters- that like to get to take advantage of inexperienced and unprotected people and will pretend to be deities but will suck energy from you. You just need to know some good shielding and warding and discernment but until then, avoid it. Plus you do not need deities at all, like it should be a mutually beneficial relationship. Devoting your energy towards an entity for the chance for more power or protection, if the deity even feels like it, cause apparently it's not even guaranteed, feels a bit like joining a gang to me that's not even for your full benefit.)

Also sorry, usually my responses to these questions are fucking long, but the thing is, it's a loaded question. You are essentially asking me how to embark on a spiritual and magical journey that will transform your spirit and help you understand your energy and connection to the universe around you lol. I did answer this before, very extensively so I am going to link it here cause I think I did an ok job the first time. To summarize the main points in that post I will put them below, but I also will first add a new point I did not have in the original post:

Getting Started:

I. Tools

II. Basics

III. Exploring Yourself

IV. Exploring your Roots

V. Exploring Local Nature

VI. Resources

-------- New Point:

I. Tools This one is gonna be short cause, to get started you really just need 2 things. 1- Yourself!!! You are the source of magic! You literally got energy going through your veins and to get started with energy work that's all you gonna need. And 2- a magic journal. Yes you can call it a ~Book of Shadows~ but if you start getting anxiety like you gotta make it look fancy or some shit then don't. Especially when you are starting out you just need a book, or, actually not even a book, but take a second right now to right-click on your desktop and make a ~Folder of Shadows~ where you can save pictures, take notes and write future insights and spells and put it in there. We are in the year 2020 after all. I have a USB where I keep tons of notes, videos and pictures. I have a section of 'magic' on my iphone where I put notes for ideas or rituals when I am on the go. I have magic journals I take with me if I am going into the woods to channel ideas or to write down rituals if I am having a gathering and want to have notes. Its also ok to have more than 1 magic journal. This is a great opportunity to get that cool looking journal you wanted (or actually fill an empty journal you never had the courage to write in cause it's too nice looking) with random notes for magic. Having a book of shadows/computer folder of shadows/phone notes of shadows etc. is going to be helpful for keeping track of stuff while you build your own path.

---

Honestly one of these days I am going to make a long ass Witchcraft 101-103 and 201-203 post with the 101 focusing on getting started and figuring your magic out and the 201 more on learning about specific subjects like herbology, astrological transits, tools and crafts and how it can expand on your craft. (Along with actual books and resources cause 201 is DEFINITELY when you actually have to start reading, researching and getting into books, experiments and resources, and not only from subjective stuff but a few things that has some roots in science as well like plants and chemistry). 

If you have any additional questions, feel free to ask and I can elaborate. 

Have a good time explorin! <3 

[setaripendragon]

The Light of a Pole Star - Part 3

Okay, this part was a lot of fun. The whole birthday scene came out of nowhere as I was writing, it was a complete aside that turned into an actually important plot point XD Also, Maes’s voice will always and forever sound like Opalsong’s reading of The Demon Alchemist series in my head.

“You know your boy is hopelessly in love with you, don’t you?”

“My- Are you talking about FullMetal?”

“Mmhm.”

“He’s fourteen.”

“Mm, I don’t think he is. Not really.”

“He really is.”

“Don’t be so literal, Roy, it doesn’t suit you.”

“I know what you mean, Madame, but it’s still- I can’t just ignore-”

“Ahh…! Is my baby boy falling in love, too?”

“What? No! That’s not-! He’s a child! I would never-!”

“Pfft. Of course you wouldn’t. I raised you better than that.”

“You did.”

“But he’s not going to be a child forever, Roy. He’s not even going to be a child for much longer.”

“…I know.”

“I’d let him work here in a couple of years. Maybe even one, given how world-weary he seems.”

“World-weary. That’s a good phrase for it. Speaking of, how’s Nina doing?”

“Oh, she’s as precocious as you were, Roy-Boy. She’s recovering well.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“I’ll have someone drop some pictures off with Maes for you.”

“Oh, good god, alright. I’m sure FullMetal will appreciate some as well.”

“Speaking of, I hear his fifteenth birthday isn’t too far off.”

“Mother…!”

“Don’t take that tone with me, Roy, I’m helping you out here.”

“How, exactly?”

“Have you thought about what to get him for his birthday?”

“If you’re about to suggest something salacious, let me cut you off now and say; don’t.”

“Heheh. Only a little salacious. He’s fifteen, I think he can handle a Vittori.”

“A- One of the Vittori reproductions? Really? Why on earth-?”

“Call it a hunch.”

The Hughes residence is packed to bursting. Ed feels distinctly uncomfortable, being at the center of all this attention and effort, but it’s also kind of nice. He isn’t super keen on the idea of celebrating his birthday. He has eight of them rattling around inside his skull, plus two namedays, and a soulday. This one in particular gets lost in amongst the others too easily for him to care very much. Still, Teacher’s visiting, and so is Winry, and a woman who introduced herself as Roy’s foster-sister has brought Nina round, and Roy’s whole team have come, and Gracia has made a freaking fantastic triple chocolate cake.

Al is sitting on the floor a few feet away from the couch where Ed is sitting, passing Elysia crayons for her colouring, and Nina had two slices of cake and is now chattering Winry’s ear off, and Hughes is taking pictures of everyone and everything like a maniac, and Roy’s sister is flirting with Havoc, which seems to be mortifying both Havoc and Roy, which is hilarious. And Teacher is chatting with Gracia and Riza over mugs of tea from her place in Sig’s lap.

It’s good, Ed decides. It’s just good to be surrounded by friends and family and to take one day off from the pressure of righting his wrongs and fixing his mistakes. He’ll get back to the quest to restore Al’s body tomorrow, but today, he has permission to relax a little. It’s good.

“Is it time for presents yet?” Nina asks abruptly, abandoning Winry to throw herself half over the back of the couch, feet in the air and tail wagging, which puts her head somewhere in the vicinity of Ed’s shoulder. “Big brother! You need to open all your presents!”

“Good idea, Nina!” Hughes enthuses, and then suddenly everyone is bustling about retrieving their gifts for him and depositing them on the table. A lot of them, Ed is delighted to see, are book-shaped. Then Hughes holds Elysia up so that she can very solemnly hand Ed the card she’d made for him. It’s covered in glue and glitter, and of course the glitter goes everywhere, and Winry winces when it gets on Ed’s automail, but even she can’t deny that it’s utterly adorable.

“Mine next!” Nina insists, so Ed opens up the clumsily wrapped package she thrusts at him. It turns out to be a hand-knitted scarf, which Ed suspects is the result of Roy’s Mum’s attempts to keep Nina occupied and out of trouble. It’s a little wonky and uneven, but it’s a bright, eye-searing red, and it was made with love, so Ed wraps it around his neck at once and preens. Winry gets him a set of automail maintenance tools, like she always does in a passive-aggressive attempt to remind him to take care of his automail, and Granny sent on a book titled Beginner’s Guide to Combustion Engines, because she thinks she’s hilarious, and only Teacher and Al really get why it pisses him off so much.

Teacher got him a proper Xerxesian kattari, which she must have made herself, and Ed freaks out for a moment, because what idiot decides to take up blacksmithing – even alchemically enhanced blacksmithing – when they’re sick? Sig shares a commiserating look with him when he hands over all the extra bits and pieces Ed needs to maintain the blade. And in keeping with the theme – had they collaborated? – Al got him a book about the few Xerxesian alchemists that history remembers with a handwritten note inside that says ‘you can tell me all the things they got wrong – love, Al’.

Hughes got him a photo album half filled with pictures of Ed and Al and the people they know, with space left over for more, and Gracia added a pile of blank journals to the gift, which Ed definitely appreciates. The rest of Roy’s team all got him various books; a massive scientific treatise from Falman, a recent alchemist’s autobiography from Fuery, a fascinating obscure book about spiritual symbology in alchemy from Hawkeye, a book about the art of making fireworks from Breda. Havoc, on the other hand, had got him a swear-jar. Which sends Ed into hysterics.

Then Roy’s sister – Vanessa – hands over a small, prettily-wrapped package, and Ed splutters a little about how she didn’t have to, he doesn’t even know her, what the hell. She just laughs at him. “I insist. Auntie Chris insisted. At least as a thank you for making Roy’s work stories so much more interesting.”

“Oh, well, um, okay then, I guess?” Ed says, and sets to opening the packet. It turns out to be a couple of pretty hair-clips. Nothing so ornate as to be mockingly ‘girly’, but whoever made them paid just as much attention to form as function. If he wears them day-to-day, he’s going to end up worrying about damaging them. Not that he ever does anything creative with his hair anyway, so it’s a bit moot.

Roy looks mortified, though, so that’s definitely a plus. And, in the spirit of winding him up as much as possible, Ed decides ‘fuck it’ and tugs the band off the end of his braid, shaking his hair out and tugging the top half back into the clip he likes the best. It’s a style he’d worn a lot when he was Proteus, one that Huang had always gotten distracted by when they were researching together. “Thanks!” He says brightly to Vanessa, who looks so gleeful Ed figures she’s caught on to his plot to torment Roy and approves.

“Alright, I suppose it’s my turn, is it?” Roy asks, resigned.

He slides a large square present out from where it had been leaning against the side-cabinet thing that Gracia keeps knick-knacks and Elysia’s toys in, and hands it to Ed over the table before stepping back. There’s an odd touch of apprehension about him, nothing obvious, just a stiffness in his pleasant expression that suggests it’s taking effort to keep it in place.

Ed lays the present on his lap and studies the shape of it. “It’s a picture-frame.” He decides after a moment of feeling the edges.

“The purpose of presents is to unwrap them, FullMetal.” Roy drawls.

“The purpose of giving presents is to shut up and be nice, Colonel Bastard.” Ed retorts, but he does tear into the wrapping paper, and peel the picture out of it. And then he freezes, heart racing and head spinning, because that- that’s him. Or well, technically, it’s her, when he was a her. He presses a hand to his mouth to stop himself blurting out something stupid, and just… stares.

It’s not the original, he can tell right away, but it’s an excellent reproduction. Ed-when-he-was-Lucia is sitting naked in an unmade – and very rumpled – bed dressed in off-white linens underneath a wide window letting in a spill of brilliant morning light that picks out the amber tones of Lucia’s tanned skin and the golden tones of her light brown hair, which is twisted up into a messy, careless bun pinned in place by a paintbrush, many loose strands curling about her neck and shoulders. There’s ink and graphite stains on her fingers and thighs, and love-bites dappled across her neck, chest, and wrists. She’s sitting sort of cross-legged, one knee tucked uselessly under the light sheet and the other propped up so that she can lean a notebook on it and scribble down her ideas.

Several people are asking what it is, and Havoc and Hughes and Hawkeye all shuffle around the back of the couch to peer at it over Ed’s shoulders. Havoc lets out an impressed wolf-whistle, while Hawkeye says, in a carefully neutral tone of Stern Disapproval; “That’s a bit inappropriate, isn’t it, sir?”

Which, no. No, Ed’s not going to let that stand, because it’s not. The moment hadn’t even been sexual, except that they had just had lazy morning sex. But then Ed- Lucia had had an idea, and she’d flung herself out of Fiametta’s arms to find something to write it down with. Only then had she realised that she’d just abandoned her new lover without regard in favour of science, and she’d looked up expecting annoyance and exasperation, only to find Fiametta grinning and looking at her like she was the most perfect thing in the whole world. So Lucia had gone back to bed and settled in to write down her notes, and she’d gotten so absorbed she hadn’t even noticed Fiametta going for her sketchbook, and then her paints, until several hours later.

At which point she’d taken one look at the first attempt, and punched her in the arm for ‘making me look ridiculous, you complete sap’. The consequent versions had only gotten more ridiculous, because Fiametta had decided it was her purpose in life to wind Lucia up like that at every available opportunity.

It’s not inappropriate at all, except for the fact that Roy has no idea what he’s saying with this picture because he doesn’t know. Ed looks up at Teacher, the only one who gets it, and she raises an eyebrow at him, smug. ‘He doesn’t know he knows, but he does know.’ Ed thinks, and it’s… Good is something of an understatement.

Roy is fumbling for an explanation under Hawkeye’s stern stare, trying to play it off as a combination tasteless joke and attempt at winding Ed up, but Ed isn’t listening. He carefully leans the paining against the back of the couch and gets up. Roy’s faux-blasé defence trails off as Ed rounds the table, walks right into him, and hugs him tight. He’s in civilian dress, so it’s actually comfortable to hug him, and as Roy’s body-heat soaks through to him, Ed silently mourns the fact that he can’t just stay like this forever. “Thanks. I love it.” He says quietly.

“…You’re welcome.” Roy replies, just as quietly, carefully setting his hands on Ed’s back, not quite returning the hug, but something close to it.

“Huh.” Hughes says, in his scheming-voice. “I didn’t know you were a fan of Vittori, Edward.” He remarks lightly.

Teacher snorts.

“You shut up.” Ed grumbles at her, pointing in her direction without looking. He forces himself to let go of Roy before the hug becomes awkward, and turns to Hughes to try and explain his overly-emotional reaction to an indecent portrait of a long dead Aerugonian alchemist. “She did a good series on alchemy.” He states, crossing his arms defensively and feeling his face heat up.

“Hey, it’s okay, Boss. You’re at that age where-” Havoc begins, his tone gleefully mocking because he’s obviously a sadistic fuck.

“No. Nope.” Ed sticks his fingers in his ears. “LALALALALA!”

Ed is minding his own business, grabbing a quick lunch at a bakery a few streets away from the library, when out of fucking nowhere, Hughes slides into the seat opposite him with a cheerful “Hi, Ed!” and the sort of smile that makes Ed realise why most people find his grins a little unnerving.

“Uh, hi, Hughes.” He greets warily.

“Oh, please, Maes is fine.” Hughes – Maes – insists. “This is a social call.”

Ed gives him a dubious look. “Well it looks kind of like stalking.” He counters, and then takes a huge bite of his pasty. Maybe if he finishes quickly he can escape back into the library.

“That’s hurtful, Ed.” Maes protests, sounding entirely insincere. Ed makes an indistinct ‘mrmph’ noise around his mouthful. “I just wanted to know what your intentions are towards my best friend.” He announces, and although he’s definitely joking, tone jovial and eyes bright, there’s a thread of something a little more serious underneath.

Ed swallows hard, coughs a little, and then starts laughing. Because trust Maes Hughes to see that there’s more to Ed than a fifteen year old with a crush. “Well, I guess my intentions right now are to wait until he won’t have a panic attack if I jump him, and then jump him. Repeatedly. Preferably for the rest of our lives.” He answers, just as light-hearted as Maes, with just as much truth underneath.

Maes’s smile becomes a lot less sharp, softens into something that doesn’t make Ed want to flee to the safety of the library anymore. “How long a wait is that going to be?” He wonders, without any hint as to what he thinks the right answer is.

“Well, I had it from a reliable source when I was twelve that I’d be eligible for moderately respectable sex work in five years, so that’s only two more to go.” Ed replies lightly. Maes blinks at him for a moment, which isn’t the reaction Ed was expecting, but then he laughs. Cackles, really. “What’s funny?” He asks dubiously.

“Madame Christmas told you that, did she?” Maes asks pointedly.

Ed stares at him. “You…” He stops, and wonders if the synchronicity of his lives could get any more ridiculous. “Wait, let me guess. She’s got something to do with Roy, doesn’t she? Oh, that fucker.” He exclaims, eyes widening. “That’s how he knew to get me that painting! She fucking told him, didn’t she? Oh my fucking-!”

“Mm, yes. I think it was one of hers, originally. She likes to hang what she calls ‘dignified pornography’ on the walls of her upstairs business.” Maes confirms.

Ed whines and puts his head down on the table. “Next you’ll be telling me Roy grew up there or some shit.” He complains.

“As a matter of fact, he did.” Maes confirms, sounding intrigued, and Ed just groans, because, okay, he walked right into that one. “When she’s not working, she goes by Chris Mustang.” Maes adds, and at that, Ed sits up again.

“She’s Roy’s mum?”

“Biologically? His aunt. But she raised him ever since his parents died. So, yes, that’s who he means when he talks about his mother.” Maes explains. “But going back to that painting, Ed.” He goes on abruptly.

Ed huffs, going a little pink. “What about it?”

“I had a long chat with the Madame after your birthday. You said some very interesting things in between being very, very cryptic, and bringing up conversations you never actually had with Roy about old Aerugonian painters.” Maes states, resting his forearms on the table as he leans in and watches Ed with a pointedly patient expression.

Ed narrows his eyes. “We did too talk about renaissance painters.”

“Yes, but not Vittori.” Maes stresses. “And nice dodge, by the way.”

“Well, I was talking about Vittori, and he got the story right, so it’s not my fault if he didn’t realise, and only got it right because he’s that much like a perverted lesbian hedonist from the fifteenth century.” Ed retorts. “And I didn’t dodge shit. I just addressed the only point you actually made.”

Maes snorts, and leans back in his chair with a sigh. “You’re going to be very good for Roy, you know, when he manages to pull his head out of his ass. He needs someone like you in his life to keep him honest, keep him from twisting himself up into contortions with all the games he likes to play.”

Ed eyes him for a long moment, because, hell, but that was a good summary of at least one of his lives in its entirety. The Xingese royal court was a pit of vipers. “Yeah.” He agrees shortly, but apparently even that is enough to put that worrying gleam of curiosity into Maes’s eyes again. This time it’s totally a dodge, and Ed doesn’t even care, when he says; “So, what were those interesting things you wanted to interrogate me about?”

“Oh, you know…” Maes says, with entirely and obviously feigned nonchalance. “Treason.”

Ed snorts. “Yeah? Is this you delivering Roy’s official pitch?”

“No, Ed. This is me asking how the hell you even knew there was a pitch.” Maes sighs, no longer light-hearted at all. He’s watching Ed carefully, worried, and it makes Ed feel bad. He hadn’t meant to make Maes paranoid about discovery. But of course, if a teenage wildcard like him could figure it out, anyone who didn’t know that the knowledge came from lifetimes of experience with Roy and his masks and his stupid doublespeak bullshit and his penchant for self-sacrificial righteousness would be forgiven for assuming that one of the Generals, or the Fuhrer himself, might be able to see it, too.

Ed could lie, or dodge again, or something, but he doesn’t want to make Maes’s life harder than it has to be. He’s a good friend to Roy, and he’s been a good friend to Ed, too, so far. “I bet you looked into Valentino’s Bar, huh?” He asks.

Maes narrows his eyes, but plays along. “What do you take me for, Ed? Of course I did. Headquarters for one of the most successful Aerugonian resistance forces this side of the border in a hundred years before they blew the place up. I looked into this Malka person you mentioned too. And believe me, I’m dying to know what a border scuffle and a mullah from eighty years ago have to do with Roy, but I’d like to know about the treason thing first.”

“Valentino’s Bar.” Ed holds up his hand, and then ticks each point off on his fingers as he goes. “The Wolfsbane killings. Knyazhna Tatiana Nikiforova. The assassination of General Maultier. The Riviere Traders. The first Xingese Empress.” Ed pauses. “I think that’s… No, wait, you can probably count the Second Drachman Revolution, too, really, although you may have to dig pretty deep to figure that one out.”

“I recognise a few of those.” Maes acknowledges.

Ed nods emphatically, as though it must be obvious even though he knows Maes probably won’t understand. “That’s how I knew. I don’t think anyone else has made the connections, though, so you don’t need to panic.”

Maes stares at him for a long, long moment. “Challenge accepted.” He says finally.

Laughing, Ed shakes his head at him. “If anyone can figure it out, I’d put my money on you, Maes.” He offers, and Maes beams at him.

“Your faith in me is heartwarming, Ed. Almost as heartwarming as my beautiful daughter!” Maes enthuses, and Ed resigns himself to watching the man parade out a stream of photographs of Elysia. At least, since he’s not required to say more than ‘aww’ and ‘wow’ every now and then, he actually has a chance finish his pasty.

This goes on until Ed’s almost finished eating, and then Maes, with well practised insincerity, checks his watch and says; “Oops! Looks like my lunch break is over!” And sweeps all of his photos back into his pocket and stands up while Ed is still chewing on his last bite. “See you later, Ed.”

“Mrmph.” Ed says again, nodding.

Maes chuckles. “And, one last thing, Ed?” He says, pausing on his way past Ed’s chair. Ed looks up at him with his eyebrows raised, and Maes hands him a little folded up piece of paper. “Don’t wait too long. Roy will keep you at arms length forever if you let him, because he’s got a martyr complex the size of the Eastern Desert. We’re working on him, but he could do with a reminder from you that you’re older than you look.”

Then he’s gone, and Ed’s left staring at empty space in confusion. If he’s translating Maes-speak right, that was a ‘well, I think you should jump him now’. He looks down at the paper in his hand and unfolds it, only to find nothing but an address written there, and he’d bet his other arm and leg that it’s Roy’s. Maes is an interfering matchmaker, and Ed doesn’t know whether to be pissed off or grateful.

Ed decides Maes’ gift is too good to let it go to waste, so the next time he’s back in East, he breaks into Roy’s house while the man’s still at work and makes himself at home. When Ed had told Al his plan, Al had given him one of those inexplicably readable looks of his where he’s judging every single one of Ed’s life choices in every single one of his lives, and then he sighed and wished him luck, which is why Al is best little brother in the whole wide world.

When Roy gets back, Ed is happily ensconced in Roy’s living room with half the books from Roy’s personal library spread out around him, a fire blazing in the grate, a ridiculously snug blanket over his shoulders, and a mug of some weird fancy tea at his elbow. Roy, of course, comes in warily, prepared for an intruder, fingers poised to snap, and stops dead in the doorway, staring. “FullMetal?”

“Hey, Bastard.” Ed will call Roy ‘Roy’ to his face when Roy calls him ‘Edward’ again. “Shut the damn door, you’re letting all the heat out.”

Roy is so off-balance that he actually does as he’s told. Ed will have to remember that trick. Then he returns and goes right back to staring. “How did you get in?”

“Transmuted the lock, obviously.” Ed informs him. “I can show you how to alchemically booby-trap your locks later, if you like.”

Roy sighs in long-suffering exasperation. “How did you even know where I live?”

“How did you even know I’m a fan of Vittori?” Ed retorts.

“Touché.” Roy admits, and then just stands there, staring in bewilderment.

Ed glances up from his book at last, and gives the man a judging look. “Well don’t just stand there like an idiot, idiot. Go order some take-out and then come explain to me why the hell you have bullshit like Dee’s Hierarchy of Elements on your shelf.”

“FullMetal…”

“Food, Bastard.” Ed insists.

Sighing again like the melodramatic bastard he is, Roy goes to call for take-out. While he’s doing that, Ed clears a space for him on the couch, shifting books he’d left lying open beside him when he got caught up in something else. Roy comes back, eyes the newly open space, and then gingerly seats himself. “FullMetal.” He says again.

“I’d say ‘that’s my name, Bastard, don’t wear it out’ except, you know, it’s not.” Ed says pointedly.

Another sigh. “What are you doing?”

“Investigating your personal book collection.” Ed replies immediately. “It’s not half bad, honestly. Although, seriously, what’s with Dee’s shit? His theories were debunked decades ago.”

“Most of his theories were debunked.” Roy counters, and the next half hour is full of good-natured bickering and alchemical debate. Then the food arrives, and the next hour passes by the same way, except now with really good food, too. The conversation takes a slightly darker turn as they dive into discussing human transmutation, biological alchemy, soul alchemy, and the difference between them, but even then, Ed feels more hopeful about his quest than he has in a while now, revved up with new determination because Roy might not have as much knowledge as Ed on the subject, but he’s painfully insightful, and so good at coming up with the things Ed’s missed.

Shit, but Ed loves him.

And it must be written all over his face because Roy falters in what he’s saying, in whatever argument he was making, and his expression turns conflicted and uncertain. Ed hates it. “Don’t.” Ed says, before Roy can say anything. Roy closes his mouth, but doesn’t look any less pained.

“Edward…” He says, half chiding, half pleading.

“Roy.” Ed returns, wry. Roy sucks in a sharp breath. “It’s okay, you know.”

“You’re half my age.” Roy retorts, sounding agonised.

He’s not exactly wrong, even if he’s not exactly right, either. Ed sighs, and looks down at the blanket that’s now draped over both of them. He picks at the edge of it with his automail hand. “Yeah. Why d’you think I haven’t actually made a move on you yet?”

Roy huffs a weird little half-laugh at that. “This isn’t you making a move?” He asks dryly.

Ed snorts. “Believe me, bastard, when I make a move on you, you’ll fucking know about it.”

“Literally, I suppose.” Roy muses wickedly, and then winces. “Sorry, that was-”

“If you say inappropriate, I’m gonna hit you.” Ed warns him, holding up his flesh hand in a fist in warning. Roy very pointedly presses his lips together and doesn’t say a word. “Cause it isn’t inappropriate, it’s fucking true. But I’m not stupid, you know. I do get that you’d feel kind of skeevy if we did anything yet, so- so I’m waiting. That doesn’t mean I’m going to pretend that there’s even the slightest fucking chance I’d pick anyone else in the world but you.”

Roy’s eyes go wide, and then he closes them. He leans in, and for a moment Ed thinks he’s going to kiss him, but instead he just leans their foreheads together. “You can’t know that for sure.” He whispers, sounding like it hurts to say it.

“I can.” Ed insists. “I do.”

“I know you’ve seen more of the world than most people your age, and I know that- that there’s more to you than just a fifteen year old hellion, but you shouldn’t tie yourself to me before you’ve had a chance to- to explore, and-”

“Idiot.” Ed huffs.

“I’m serious, Edward-”

“I know you are, Roy, that’s why you’re an idiot.” Roy pulls back to frown at him, and Ed wonders if Teacher is right, if he should tell him the whole truth. They’ve already been talking about souls half the evening, after all. But Ed… Ed isn’t quite ready to put himself that far out there when Roy is still battling his fucking conscience. It would feel… manipulative, or some shit. “Can I tell you a story?” He asks, instead.

“Can I stop you?” Roy answers wearily, but he’s smiling fondly, so Ed figures that’s not a no.

“Nope.” Ed squirms around until he’s comfortably leaning on Roy, and Roy hesitates only a moment before curling his arm around Ed’s shoulders. “Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a boy.” Ed begins, measuring out the words.

“A fairytale?” Roy wonders, sounding startled.

“Yeah, sort of.” Ed hedges, because no, it’s not, it’s his life – their lives – but he’s not going to tell Roy that just yet. “Anyway, so this boy, he had real shit luck. Like, the shittiest. His parents died in a landslide when he was four, and not even a year later, he got nabbed by fucking slavers and carted off into the desert to be sold to some rich asshole who thought he was hot shit and that it somehow made him look good to have a tiny ‘exotic’ little boy serving drinks at his stupid parties, and not like a complete shit-stain.”

“That does sound unfortunate.” Roy comments, sounding confused.

“Yeah, but this kid, right, this kid was resilient, and clever. He made this plan. Cause, see, in Xerxes-”

“Oh, is that where this is set?”

“Yeah, shut up. In Xerxes, academia was everything. If you were smart, if you could make a valuable contribution to the Great Library, you could earn your way up to the top, even if you started out a slave. Even if you weren’t Xerxesian by birth. So that’s what he decided to do.” Ed pauses, thinking back and trying to sort an entire lifetime into something he could tell Roy and have it make sense. “One day, when he was out running errands or some shit, this slave just happened to be in the right place at the right time to see this building – one of the big manors for the Savants – collapse.”

“Savants?” Roy questions.

“It’s the best translation of the title. Like I said, the heirarchy in Xerxes was about academia, not the military, or inheritance, or anything like that. They were people who- who fucking revolutionised knowledge in whatever field of study. Being recognised as a Savant was, I don’t fucking know, like being a General, I guess, here. You’re powerful, and people kinda have to listen to you, and you get lots of perks and rewards and shit. There were also teachers and shit, Professors or whatever, which was basically one step sideways, not quite parallel, but… the State Alchemists, sort of?”

“I see.” Roy says, sounding a little bewildered. “So… so this manor collapsed?” He prompts.

“Yeah, and this boy- Well, he was a teenager, by today’s standards-”

“Today’s standards?”

“In Xerxes you were considered a child until you were twenty-five, on average.” Ed explains impatiently. “When you completed the standard education and could choose a speciality. Anyway-” Ed presses when it looks like Roy’s about to ask more questions. “So, this boy recognised an alchemical reaction when he saw one, and managed to pinpoint the source in amongst the rubble.”

“Who did he find?” Roy asks, which at least isn’t a distracting question.

“This kid. Nine years old, half crushed by rubble. His entire right arm was so much mush. He’d been being an idiot, trying to get his super-clever Savant grandmother to pay attention to him, and his circle had backfired on him and brought the whole house down. And this slave kid pushed this massive piece of masonry out of the way with one shoulder and grabbed the other kid with the other hand and just hauled him out of the mess he’d turned his entire life into. Carried him to the healers. Went right back and dug out the kid’s cousin. His grandmother was already dead, but if it hadn’t been for that slave, his cousin would have died before anyone got around to getting him out.”

“Edward…” Roy says slowly.

“I’m not finished, bastard, let me finish.” Ed retorts. Roy nods silently, so Ed forges on. “So this kid, this dumbass kid who destroyed his entire life all by himself because he couldn’t appreciate what he had when his dad was gone and his mum was dead, knew that he had to pay back this slave for saving him and his cousin. So he went and found him and taught him everything he knew, everything he got to learn just because he was born to an educated family. They studied together for years, ended up fucking revolutionising alchemy. Heh. The slave was elevated to Savant because he figured out that water is actually combustible if you pull it apart.”

“Is it really?” Roy asks, smirking. “I had no idea.”

Ed cackles. “Sure you didn’t.”

“I assume the other boy became a Savant, too?” Roy questions, giving Ed a soft look under faintly furrowed brows. Like he’s figured out Ed’s talking about them but still isn’t sure what the point is. Jokes on him, because that is the point.

“Yeah. He figured out some really cool architectural tricks. There’s so much cool shit you can do with rocks and sand if you really pay attention to the molecular structure. Like fixing fault-lines in otherwise apparently solid stone.” Ed explains with a grimace. Roy tugs him a little closer.

“I take it the boy’s cousin did recover, too?” Roy asks gently.

“Yeah.” Ed confirms. He knows Roy thinks he’s talking about Al, even though he’s not. Lyco hadn’t been much like Al, really. He’d been a daydreamer, kind but absent-minded, and he didn’t understand people at all, not the way Al did. Ed had loved him just as much, though. “Xerxes was pretty good with healing alchemy, so he got better eventually. And eventually, these two dumbasses got around to admitting that somewhere between the heroics and the research and the awards, they’d fallen in love. It didn’t really change that much, though, they still bickered over theories and played with alchemy together and spent most of their time side by side in the library. It was just that when they went home, they went to the same place, and sometimes they had sex, which was pretty fun.”

Roy makes a sound that’s trying to be a laugh, but is a little too strangled to manage. “I think I see your point, Edward-”

“Still not finished, bastard.” Ed interrupts. “So they got married, and eventually they got asked to tutor the royal children. Which, in case you can’t figure it out, was one of the very highest honours a person could be awarded in Xerxes. They probably couldn’t really have said no without being, like, shunned or something, but it didn’t really matter because… because they really enjoyed it. Not just teaching, which was frustrating as all hell but entirely worth it, but teaching those kids. They were hellraisers, don’t get me wrong, but they were so good, too. Getting to help them discover themselves? Discover the amazing things they could accomplish? Those two stupid boys loved that a whole hell of a lot. Queen Aesara was one of Xerxes most beloved rulers, and they were so proud of her.” Ed pauses, and collects himself. “And they lived happily ever after for the rest of their days or whatever shit. There, now I’m done.”

They sit in silence for a while. Ed doesn’t mind, although he’s a bit restless. “Is that the sort of thing you want from your future, then?” Roy asks eventually. “Teaching?”

“Eh.” Ed shrugs and tries to explain. “Maybe? But there’s lots of things I could do once I’ve fixed my fuck up and Al’s okay. Lots of fulfilling paths to take or whatever. Could teach. Could do research. Could become a doctor. Could open a restaurant. Could go into fucking journalism. Lots of ways to do good in the world. My point is… it’ll be better with you there. I want that. And I think you want that, too. To do whatever we end up doing together.”

He hears Roy swallow, and then let out a breath that shakes. “Yes, Edward. I want that, too.” He agrees. His arm tightens momentarily around Ed’s shoulders, and his head tips to lean his cheek against the top of Ed’s head, and then he turns so he can press an achingly gentle kiss to Ed’s hair. Ed turns into Roy and hides his smile against the man’s shoulder.

[jimins-crooked-tooth]

Ask Game

nobody asked me any of these questions because u all h8 me but I wanted to answer them anyway so here we are (^:

1: Name: Mia (: 2: Age: 19 3: 3 Fears: spiders, people crawling and being chased in horror movies, my dog dying someday 4: 3 things I love: my dog, park jimin, Speezy Freezes 5: 4 turns on: boys listening, empathizing, learning from their ignorance, and advocating for important causes. K I N K. get u a freak like that ^^^ 6: 4 turns off: being talked over, mansplaining, greasy hair, bad smell 7: My best irl friend(s): @jaemamba, @namjoons-broken-toe, @mark-biased 8: Sexual orientation: bisexual 9: My best first date: going to my university’s football field at 1:00 in the morning with my dog, running around with him, and then driving to Speedway to get Speedy Freezes 10: How tall am I: 5′4 11: What do I miss: my best friend 12: What time was I born: i was born at 5:18 on 6/18 13: Favorite color: red 14: Do I have a crush: i fell in love with my eye doctor yesterday. does that count? 15: Favorite quote: “We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” 16: Favorite place: this is hard. mt favorite destination type place is antigua, guatemala, but my favorite place to be is anywhere with my dog (: 17: Favorite food: scalloped potatoes 18: Do I use sarcasm: me??? noooo, never. 19: What am I listening to right now: dope - BTS 20: First thing I notice in new person: teeth and hair 21: Shoe size: 7 1/2 US size 22: Eye color: green 23: Hair color: brown 24: Favorite style of clothing: sweaters 25: Ever done a prank call?: when i was in, like, middle school. OH! also american airlines when they were being unhelpful little douche-dicks this summer when they lost my luggage in france ((((: 27: Meaning behind my URL: um i’m in love with jimin’s crooked tooth 28: Favorite movie: monster’s inc. 29: Favorite song: leave me lonely - ariana grande 30: Favorite band: BTS 31: How I feel right now: tired and hungry 32: Someone I love: park jimin 33: My current relationship status: i’m in an exclusive relationship with food 34: My relationship with my parents: eh 35: Favorite holiday: christmas and thanksgiving 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: i have a tattoo of mine and my brother’s hands in a pinky swear on my right side, a tattoo that says “i belong deeply to myself” on my left side, a big tattoo of athena on my left thigh, and my dog’s paw print on my right foot.  i have my ears double pierced and my nose pierced. 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: i’d love to have nipple piercings but my boobs are reeeeally big and that increases my risk of infection and irritation, so i probably wont get it done. and the next tattoo i want is a bow behind my ear 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: fandoms 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: i don’t think so, we just don’t talk 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: lololololololol no 41: Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? i would hope not 42: When did I last hold hands?: like a week ago with my best friend 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: it depends on if i put on makeup or not.  no makeup = 15-20 minutes, makeup = 30-40 minutes 44: Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: i think so. i’m losing track of time so it’s hard for me to remember hahahaha. 45: Where am I right now?: at my apartment. 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: i don’t drink so quite honestly, i don’t know who it would be helping me 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: loud 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: no 49: Am I excited for anything?: i’m excited for to make a new character for d&d 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: yes(: my best friend Martin, but he lives thousands of miles away in normandy, france 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: more often than you’d think. i’m very good at it. 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: two days ago i hugged some family members after visiting 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: i would not care in the slightest lol 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: i don’t think so.  i usually keep trustworthy people close to me and untrustworthy people away from me. 55: What is something I disliked about today?: i accidentally slept in waaaaaaaay too late. 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: park jimin 57: What do I think about most?: my dog 58: What’s my strangest talent?: i have a few. i memorize license plates, i can name every color in a 64 pack of crayola crayons, and i can look good in any pair of sunglasses 59: Do I have any strange phobias?: yes. people crawling and being chased in horror movies. also, people touching and grabbing my wrists/being restrained 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: in front of it. 61: What was the last lie I told?: “my dog locked the door, not me.” 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: i’m just gonna say facetimeing because it’s kind of a mix of the two 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: yes and yes 64: Do I believe in magic?: no 65: Do I believe in luck?: yes 66: What's the weather like right now?: snowy snowy snowy 67: What was the last book I've read?: everything, everything 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: yes 69: Do I have any nicknames?: mi and higgie smalls 70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?: when i broke my arm in 7th grade.  i was playing soccer and i was the goal keeper and somebody from the opposite team kicked the ball and snapped my arm in half. 71: Do I spend money or save it?: a mix of both 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?: nope 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?: yes, a pencil 74: Favorite animal?: giraffe and puffins 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: watching mulan 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name?: i asked my roommate and he said “faust” so i’m gonna go with that lol 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: serendipity and lie 78: How can you win my heart?: food and dogs 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?: sneezed on the beat, and the beat got sicka 80: What is my favorite word?: serendipity 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: @got7-markjinson, @yeoldalayhehoo 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: “fuck donald trump” 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: not that i know of 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? teleportation so i could go anywhere in the world for free! 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? “are you happy?”  86: What is my current desktop picture? sehun lookin’ all perfect, as always (’: 87: Had sex? no 88: Bought condoms? no 89: Gotten pregnant? no 90: Failed a class? no  91: Kissed a boy? yes 92: Kissed a girl? no)))): 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no omg too cheesy 94: Had a job? i’ve had 4 95: Left the house without my wallet? yes 96: Bullied someone on the internet? i more-so fight with people on the internet, not bully. 97: Had sex in public? never had sex, so obviously not hahaha 98: Played on a sports team? yes! growing up, i played soccer for 7 years 99: Smoked weed? nope 100: Did drugs? nope 101: Smoked cigarettes? nope 102: Drank alcohol? i hate alcohol 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no 104: Been overweight? yep 105: Been underweight? nope 106: Been to a wedding? yes 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 5 hours? i think you mean 5 TIMES 5 hours lmaoooo 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? YES. WHO HASN’T???? 109: Been outside my home country? yes! 3 times(: i’ve been to guatemala, mexico, and frace 110: Gotten my heart broken? eh, not really 111: Been to a professional sports game? yes 112: Broken a bone? yes! 2 113: Cut myself? no 114: Been to prom? yes, twice 115: Been in airplane? yes, soooo many times 116: Fly by helicopter? no, but i would love to do it sometime! 117: What concerts have I been to? omg there are so many. in order: taylor swift, kelly clarkson, one direction, demi lovato, bastille, lana del rey, marina and the diamonds, one direction (again), ed sheeran, the 1975, ariana grande, and then i’m going to see harry styles and niall horan this summer! 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? yes because i’m fckin GAY 119: Learned another language? i’m studying spanish and korean 120: Wore make up? all the time lol 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? NO BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT SEX 122: Had oral sex? NO 123: Dyed my hair? nope 124: Voted in a presidential election? yes, just 1 125: Rode in an ambulance? no 126: Had a surgery? yes 127: Met someone famous? yes, i met lea delaria fro oitnb 128: Stalked someone on a social network? UM ALWAYS??? 129: Peed outside? yep 130: Been fishing? yep but it’s soooo borning 131: Helped with charity? yes 132: Been rejected by a crush? all the fucking time (^: 133: Broken a mirror? i dont think so 134: What do I want for birthday? for park jimin to acknowledge my existence ((((((((((((((((((((((((:

why am i such a noob????

[samoas]

All asks

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

closed tf 

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

uhh i have like 4 in different places on my body 

(3) Can You Whistle?

kind of. braces took my sick whistling skills away 

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

currently listening to sound check (gravity) by the gorillaz 

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

hmmm there r so many that i like i love reds and oranges and deep warm colors 

(6) Relationship Status.

emotionally unavailable 

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

22 degrees rn 

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

kinda bc i was awoken at 7:30

(9) How Many Followers?

;-)

(10) Zodiac Sign.

leo babi

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

mix of blue, green, and grey 

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

nop but i should 

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

ya bc i listen to music while showering 

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

mortal instruments series 

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

“he had thought he knew how they felt.”

(16) Favourite Anime?

NARUTO

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

uhhhhhhhhhh does my dog count ????

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

oh ya i collect rocks and old books and dried flowers and dead butterflies and sweet things

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

i have not eaten that yet 

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

depends. sometimes 

(21) Favourite Animal?

i love octopi 

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

nah

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

like 1-5 am 

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

ya 

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

shidd i love too many 

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

bottled. not about that chlorine 

(28) What Makes You Happy?

cynthia and harry styles and flowers and snow and rocks and bugs 

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

i have no gifs on my computer but that in itself is an accurate depiction of how i feel 

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

depends on the subject 

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

doggos but i love both 

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

peach

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

xbox bc i have never played a playstation lol 

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

ocean. lakes are fucking DISGUSTING i would rather swim in a puddle on the side of the road than in a lake 

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

the magic of gays 

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

yellow 

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

ya baby like a burrito 

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

usually save but i spend sometimes

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

yes a blanket, a bra, makeup

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

harry styles and 1d as always 

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

they have always tended to land on me so they catch me 

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

im influenced by people i love like my bff and my krush but i could not care less about what other people think i do what i wanna do regardless 

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

all the fuckn time thanx zoloft 

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

yes 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

one direction: this is us 

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

peanuts can suck my sweet asshole 

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

harry styles front row seats 

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

nop

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

uhhh im average i think 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

no i love it 

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

yes and yes 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

depends on the mood 

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

carve pumpkins bc i suck at wrappign 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

dunes by alabama shakes 

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

winter baby

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

physical affection 

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

no thx

(58) What Is Your Gender?

she / they 

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

i usually say i cant choose but i think we all know its coffee 

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

no im on break 

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

gaey

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

no lol

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

eevee

(64) Favourite Social Media?

tungle 

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

gross but i use it anyways 

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

yes but only when im in my house ???????

(67) Are You A Virgin?

unfortunately 

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

some coconut shit 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

motel room. not about to get murdered 

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

no dad is gon

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

whatever horror movie is next

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

lol no i can finally say that

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

dont have one 

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

every girl ive had a crush on has had brown eyes so i guess i love brown eyes 

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

YES i fucking LOVE TO SWING 

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

gravy biscuit 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

none 

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

uhhhh yes ???? theyre dying??

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

i have before

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

bro who hasnt 

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

kind of i have social anxiety 

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

yes i do but im too lazy to take a pic 

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

closed i need to be safe 

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

worked with my mom, washed my hair, put on makuep 

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

big fat hoodie and shorts 

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

oh my god it would take housrs  i have so mcuh 

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

night time 

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

i have the xbox and i have a lot of CoD and we got minecraft and some football game 

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

i had a dream about my krush like,, 3 months ago and we kissed in the sunset lol 

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

disgusting. i love dr pepper tho 

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

thunder, crunchy slime, harry styles speaking

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

jeans 

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

appropriately dressed and cleaned up for a job interview 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

coffee 

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

“i love you” in my great gmas handwriting and either “all the love” or “girl almighty” in harrys handwriting 

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

frick idk i dont rly wathc youtube 

[herecomesthewitch]

Laurel’s Guide to Grimoires

A while back I made a post about how I organize my Grimoire/Book of Shadows and for a long time since then I’ve wanted to a sort of 101 for creating a Grimoire/Book of Shadows. Be warned, this will be a long post! As always, this is merely my opinion, my word is not law.

(UPDATED 3/22/18; All updates are marked)

-The Grimoire Basics-

What is a Grimoire?

As my own personal definition, a Grimoire is simply any book used by a witch in his/her/their own personal practice. There is no limit as to what a Grimoire can or cannot be, as each one is as unique as the witch who wrote it.

How do I use a Grimoire?

A grimoire is used to document, or keep track of, any magickal information that is relevant to the practitioner.It serves to log everything you need to know in your own personal craft. 

-Types of Grimoires-

These are my own personal “styles” of grimoires that I have made over the years. These are not the only “kinds” of grimoires, merely suggestions.

- “Textbook” Grimoire: This is a grimoire that is set up to serve as a reference book, a book strictly for spiritual or magickal information. 

- “Practical” Grimoire: This is a grimoire that can serve a practical purpose, such as a recipe or spell book. Often more portable than a standard grimoire.

- “Inspirational” Grimoire: These are often called inspiration journals. They are filled with spiritual images, quotes and writings to serve as a sort of “bible.”

- “Memory Keeping” or “Journal” Grimoire: This is a grimoire that serves to be a personal record of thoughts and feelings pertaining to spiritual activity in your life. 

-Grimoire Keeping Methods-

- Blank bound or spiral bound Notebooks     - I’ve actually seen someone tape composition notebooks together to get             a “thick” book. (UPDATE: The video can be found HERE) - Recycled or used hard/soft cover books - Binders - OneNote/Tumblr/Internet - Computer Folder/Flash Drive/Memory Card

-How to make a Grimoire-

I recommend that if you are starting a grimoire or are a relatively new witch, don’t even bother buying a nice, expensive, fancy journal. Most of the time (unless you’ve already done one or two grimoires before and you know exactly what you’ll be putting in this grimoire), that book will sit on a shelf and collect dust. Many new witches get excited to have a “fancy” grimoire and then become terrified of “messing up” in it which results in that book never being used. We’ve all been there, done that.

That being said, here are the basic steps I followed when making my “permanent” grimoire.

- Decide on your Grimoire Keeping Method  - Gather the information that you would like to put into your grimoire (this can sometimes take a very long time, it took me years), although if the “write as you go” method is more comfortable for you, then go ahead. - Organize your information. If you’re a perfectionist like me, this might take a bit. It’s also completely natural to change up your organization style later on. - Protect/Consecrate your Grimoire. This is completely optional, but it can also be a fun “witchy” way to bond with your grimoire. - Put all your information in your book in anyway that you desire. I found it useful to “plan” out the book before I started writing in all the information. This way I knew exactly what pages were going where. - Decorate your Grimoire. Also, completely optional. Some people like decorating with flowers and ribbons and pictures and stickers. Other people prefer straight to the point text. Either way works perfectly fine.

A quick note for those who suffer from the perfectionist complex: don’t sweat it. We all want our books to be “perfect” but after writing about six grimoires I’ve learned that grimoires really don’t ever become “permanent” because our preferences change as we grow. If you’re worried about it being perfect, starting “planning” pages in a cheap journal. Take note of any mistakes or things you want to change. You can always create another grimoire later. Don’t let that pesky perfectionism hold you back. And if you make mistakes, try to work with them and turn them into something else instead of scrapping your book to start over.

I used to dream of having a huge, Charmed-like Grimoire, and now I prefer the small, sloppy, scrap book, messy-writing kind of grimoire. Don’t sweat it.

Things to put in your Grimoire

- Correspondences - Sabbats, Esbats and any Holidays you celebrate - How to cast spells - Spells and Rituals - Divination - Astrology - Herbs and Recipes - Crystals - Topics you’d like to learn about later.

@cosmic-witch has a HUGE list of topics here

How to organize your Grimoire

This post details my own personal Grimoire Index. However the best way to organize your grimoire would be whatever works best for you. I personally like having everything divided into matching sections. However, if you write spells a lot, you may want spell writing notes in the front, while correspondences would be better in the back. It’s all up to personal preference. 

⛤ Witchy-Woman’s Grimoire Organization

⛤ TripleVirgo’s Grimoire Index

⛤ My Tips on Grimoire Organization

Other Grimoire Tips

- Intention Cheat Sheets. When you want to write a spell, nothing sucks more than having to flip back and forth all over your grimoire to find the information you need. My advice is to make “cheat sheets” for each of your intentions. Pick an intention, such as Money, and write down anything that corresponds to that (colors, herbs, moon phases or zodiac signs, crystals, incense, etc) this way the next time you want to do a spell for Money, you can just flip to your cheat sheet and be done. 

- Incognito Grimoire: Find a generic book that you like at a Goodwill or second hand shop. Write your witchcraft notes/correspondences in the margins and spacing. Use markers or crayons to draw pictures and symbols. You can also glue blank pages into the book so you have more space to write anything you want. This way your Grimoire can sit in plain sight on your bookshelf when you have company over and no one will be the wiser.

- So You Don’t Think You Can Grimoire: Tips and ideas for witches who struggle with the “My handwriting is terrible and I can’t draw” complex.

- Scrapbook Altars

- Create a Magickal Memories Folder

This post will probably be a “masterpost” of sorts that I’ll continue to add to as the inspiration strikes. If anyone has any ideas or grimoire-related topics they’d like to see, feel free to share!

~L

[mishamoonberry]

Plush Toys

baby that’s what i do CH 2 - FFN / AO3

Just so you know, this fic doesn’t have any chronological order whatsoever. So what I wanna write will be written, time skips comes and goes, sometimes we will jump to the past, etc etc.

Enjoy reading!

This chapter includes Pein’s and Kisame’s opinions of Akatsuki’s newest recruit!

Warning: goofy Akatsuki, also this chapter takes place after an amount of time skip

It takes one Kakuzu one look at Akatsuki’s poor money management, and it is with pure horror on his face that he snatches the position of treasurer (and the considerably hefty amount of money as well as its bank book) from Zetsu’s white fingers.

“If you don’t understand how money works, then why are you managing it?!” He says, the tone almost taking a shrill one that he thinks is entirely justified. The book is filled with doodles of poo, and Kakuzu doesn’t want to know why. Zetsu and his strange obsession of poop are not in his top list of the things he wants to know about.

Zetsu, the little fucker, simply shrugs his shoulders. His black half is missing, probably latching onto another aloe vera guy like the creep he is.

It still weird him out a little bit that Zetsu is not a single entity, but one of many.

(My name is Legion, for we are many)

Kakuzu rolls that thought—the thought that sounds like Hayato and his morning routine of reading the bible—away from him swiftly, like how he does everytime he gets new people speaking in his head in the voices of his past Family. Still, really, it’s strange that there’s only one Black Zetsu but so many White Zetsus. It’s jarring, a lot more than finding out that Yuni is apparently an alien.

(And he still thinks that’s something is wrong with the Zetsus).

(Particularly Black Zetsu).

(He is glad he doesn’t have to spend much time with the black half, really).

“Well, nobody wants to do it,” is Zetsu’s eloquent reply, and Kakuzu wonders why Pein didn’t just do it himself or, like, appoint Konan-san or something; the woman looks capable and responsible enough, definitely better than the poo obsessed white-person-cannibal-thing!

(He wonders if he was recruited because of his money managing skills).

(It can’t be, right?)

(Right!?)

(It must be because he’s cool or something, or because of his S-rank reputation, not his money managing skills!)

(He kills people for a living, for God’s sake!)

(Honestly, while the Tsunayoshi in him is insulted, Kakuzu can’t help but to preen. He does love money, so it’s nice to be acknowledged that he knows how to handle his babies).

Zetsu grins at him, and Kakuzu feels like he won’t like what comes out of Zetsu’s mouth later.

His intuition is spot on, of course.

“So I just took the position, cuz somebody has to, right? And besides,” he grins unrepentantly, “it’s fun to doodle on it.”

“…”

Kakuzu wonders if he’ll get marked as Akatsuki’s traitor if he burns Zetsu with his dying will flames. Zetsu is, after all, many. Losing one won’t be that bad. Losing one won’t hurt at all.

That’s right, Kakuzu thinks viciously, his hand lightly sparking flames. It’s just one, he won’t be missed that much.

“Please refrain from murder inside the headquarters, Kakuzu-san,” Konan’s smooth voice interrupts his murderous thoughts and Kakuzu pauses, the sparks of flames on his hands dying like blown candles. Konan’s eyes focus on them for a moment, finding it intriguing that she finds no smoke or burned clothing.

The miser turns to the only woman in the group (and a very pretty one at that) and stares at her with a gaze that conveys his very emotions and thoughts, particularly about Zetsu’s doodling habit, something that the White Zetsus only do when they’re bored.

(Well, Konan thinks, that, or they go out to eat some people.)

“While killing your partner isn’t really recommended,” Kakuzu raises an eyebrow at the leeway she gives him—not recommended doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to, after all—and listens as she continues, “it will be a hassle to clean it up here. If you wish to kill, cleaning the headquarters from the mess will be your responsibility.”

It is then her lips twitches upward for a second, betraying her amusement at this event, and Kakuzu has to wonder if this is her way to smile or smirk.

(It reminds him of Bianchi, somehow).

The woman’s yellow eyes gaze at his green ones for a little while, some sort of camaraderie passing between the both of them, before she nods and saunters away, probably figuring out that Kakuzu has listened to her words and won’t end up killing Zetsu (yet).

Kakuzu, after watching the woman’s retreating back, remembers the mess of an accounting book in his grasp, curses, and makes a beeline to his room to fix the data or… just… whatever can be salvaged and saved from this mess.

They both ignore Zetsu, who is pointing at himself and loudly protesting about the apparent worth of his life.

XXX

Pein doesn’t really know what to think about his newest treasurer.

Being someone who loves money almost as much as he loves his own life, Kakuzu is obviously doing his job fairly well (even if he’s a bit stingy when a request to buy something is esteemed one-sidedly as unnecessary). The traitor of Taki also manages to effortlessly juggle between his work as a treasurer and his missions—although with Akatsuki still being a rather new missing-nin organization, missions are still far and inbetween—as well as his hobby to collect bounties or, well, what he calls as vacation time.

Well, as effortlessly as he can, Pein guesses.

There were times when Kakuzu had to shoo Zetsu away when he was counting money and cataloguing the data while sitting in the headquarters’ lounge, or when he threw a book full of doodles of poo and biceps and muscles and even some poorly drawn genitalia to a snickering White Zetsu.

Kakuzu bought Zetsu a drawing book, sometime later. A thick one.

And coloring pencils.

And crayons.

Lots of crayons.

Pein won’t say it, but Kakuzu seems more like an exasperated father trying to maintain his difficult children than a murderous and blood thirsty missing-nin sometimes.

Kisame fits more into that “blood thirsty” picture, and even Pein finds him sometimes cooking in the kitchen with a blue apron decorated with a stitched picture of a shark and the words ‘fishes are friends’.

(Pein finds out later that it’s a gift from Kakuzu).

(Pein finds out Kakuzu likes to stitch, in which, okay, it fits his fighting style, but he also stitches things for fun, and now he seems more like a mom than anything).

(Pein finds out Kakuzu stitched a mini aloe vera Zetsu doll and gave it to Zetsu for safe keeping).

(The White Zetsus fight over it sometimes).

(Pein wonders if Kakuzu stitched him something and just haven’t found either the time or the guts to give it to him, because Konan got herself a mini Yahiko doll and she loves it).

(…Sometimes, he wonders if he recruited the wrong ninja to be in Akatsuki. Why is his newest recruit so domestic?)

(Kakuzu of Taki is an S-rank missing nin who steals hearts from his village’s elders, why is he so domestic?)

But Kakuzu is strong, and Pein acknowledges that. Not as strong as Pein with his Rinnegan, of course, but the man truly deserves the S-rank he gets within the bingo books.

His movements are swift and agile; he’s sure of his own power and is not overconfident. Kisame, who has gone with the miser to a few missions together, says the man has managed to finish the mission as quickly and efficiently as he could, sometimes even ending it in one blow, probably making the blue skinned man pout over the loss of his chance to fight.

And then, there’s the matter about his flames…

Zetsu and Konan both had told him about the sparking of flames on Kakuzu’s hands—flames that curiously enough didn’t leave smoke or burn marks after they disappeared—that appears whenever he gets fairly irritated or tense.

A kekkei genkai, perhaps, and of a new kind as well, considering his family didn’t have such a thing, according to the information Zetsu gathered about the miser.

That, or it’s just a new jutsu the guy came up with in his long life as a shinobi.

But he hasn’t exactly used the flames for some reason.

Not on missions, where he totally can handle them without the help of his ‘flames’, and not even during the spars he sometimes does with Kisame and rarely, Konan herself.

(She seems to be quite fond of him, although Pein doesn’t know why. He rarely ever interacts with the missing nin outside of necessity, after all).

It makes Pein… curious.

As a leader, he probably can inquire the miser about it and demand a demonstration about the flames.

But Pein knows Kakuzu loves his freedom, the so-called Vacation Time and Leisure inbetween Missions, as Kakuzu himself so eloquently put it.

Or what’s left of it anyway.

He probably will be reluctant to do it, considering he hasn’t truly talked about it to shown it to anyone else blatantly. Although Kakuzu has shown that he is wary of Pein and his power.

If worst comes to worst, he’ll probably lose a very skilled treasurer.

Well, whatever, Pein muses, closing his eyes.

As long as it doesn’t affect the organization and its goals negatively, he shall not bother.

He believes the time will come when it gets revealed to him, anyway.

Soon, soon.

XXX

Kisame thinks Kakuzu is amusing.

True, he lives up to his reputation. Kakuzu is curt, ruthless and definitely lethal. Undeniably, he’s also a really skilled shinobi. In Kisame’s standards, he’s an important, strong ally, and has the potential to be a formidable opponent.

(Although Kakuzu is funny, too, since he saw Kisame looking at the mini Zetsu doll and offered to make him one if Kisame wanted, and when he said he didn’t need such a useless thing, the man got up and made him a freaking apron.

An apron, with a picture of shark and the word friend.

Then Kisame saw a small shark plush sitting in the lounge’s sofa and he laughed).

But Kisame is also not blind, thank you very much.

Although Akatsuki hasn’t made any real moves toward their goal in acquiring the jinchuuriki—save for the three tails in the Mizukage who is already effectively under Uchiha Madara’s influence—it has begun to collect information regarding them.

He’s seen Kakuzu’s flickers of emotions—emotions that are quickly and expertly hidden underneath a blank mask—when he saw the jinchuuriki’s information, and Kisame knows why.

Children.

Some of the jinchuuriki are children.

And Kakuzu, ruthless as he may be, is largely known for his penchant of sparing children, even young Genin or Chuunin that he seems to judge through his own criteria, because he killed some twelve year olds and let some others in the same age live before, and sometimes even women or pregnant women in particular.

This is one of the reasons as to why civilians don’t hesitate much when they approach Kakuzu for mission requests.

Out of all troublesome traits to have, he has to just have his fondness of children.

There will be some problems with the extraction, when the time comes, considering Kakuzu’s apparent weakness toward children in general.

Or, we can just wait until the children are old enough, Kisame thinks with a grin. That way, Kakuzu won’t be adverse to capturing and killing them, would he?

If there’s anything Kisame knows, Kakuzu respects and finds thrill in fighting strong and skilled shinobi. Older jinchuuriki are bound to fit those criteria. Kakuzu will find no qualms in fighting them; he’ll even be honored, if Kisame’s predictions of his traits are spot on.

Still, it’s a long way to go, he muses. Akatsuki still needs to find a name of its own to be feared among the Hidden Villages, to gather enough information and funds, to gather more members, before they can think of capturing those jinchuuriki.

For now, he’ll settle with gathering and getting to know new members, as well as watching how things go around the amusing miser.

Still, that plush toy, though, pffft.

XXX

Aaand done! What do you think?

Pein thinks Kakuzu is weird, and rather intriguing, especially his flames, while Kisame thinks Kakuzu is both funny and also someone that could potentially turn against Akatsuki simply bc of Kakuzu’s (or Tsunayoshi’s, really) fond feelings about children.

It’s Tsunayoshi’s memories at fault. He keeps on remembering Lambo, I-pin and Fuuta.

(Also, he cannot contain his need to make a plush shark. He just can’t. The temptation is too high).

Some of them have been influenced by Kakuzu’s Sky Flame’s harmony quality, can you figure it out between the lines? Tell me who you think has been enchanted by his flames and has potential to be his ‘guardians’!

Review please!

Next chapter: Konan and Zetsu’s thoughts about Kakuzu

[mcrmadness]

Rant about how I can’t draw anymore... it shouldn’t have got this long but as it did anyway, I’m gonna put a read more link there eh...

Asdfdeghawbfk I’ve been reading some webcomics on Tumblr and the more I see the pics the more I want to draw too! I just don’t know what to draw. I lost my inspiration years ago. I guess I just became this boring adult or something. Not really as I’m still very child-like by my mind but I think all my energy and imagination is rented by my mental illness as it loves to make up weird scenarios and false alarms 24/7 so there’s none left for my own use...

So far only things I can came up with is drawings related to my mental stuff and it makes me angry because it’s just lots of text along with badly drawn pictures of nothing interesting. I already write way too much of my nonsense no one is interested in and it’s spreading to my art too.

It’s sad because drawing had been my hobby since I could handle a pen. I guess it ended few years ago when I used to do lots of portraits. Just fanart basically but those were never good enough. For me as I’m a huge perfectionist. I was good at the mechanics but not so good at making them look original. I think the major breakdown was when my friend told me that she doesn’t understand people who draw portraits because it’s just basically a copy of a photo and is lacking the soul or story of the drawing itself. She got the point and I was and still am not angry at her, but it made me realize that they were just not-even-perfect copies of photos.

I also was bullied at school and made feel like I was worth nothing and everyone just hated (on) me and I felt pretty shit and I was lonely as hell (I had no friends at school for almst 2 years in straight), I drew a lot and that was my way of getting the attention and approval I couldn’t get. And it was never enough. I did not draw because it was fun but because I wanted it finished, uploaded to Deviantart and to see if I could get comments and I was ALWAYS disappointed and felt like the world is against me and it’s my destiny that no one will ever see me no matter what I do. I was grateful for everyone leaving a like or comment but it was not enough... so maybe they lacked the soul because y only intention with them was to get attention. So I slowly stopped drawing.

I also can’t draw anything just like that. I’m terrible and it also made me even more depressed and angry because everytime I tried drawing something that was no copying, they turned out 57825792 times worse. And I just felt like I actually couldn’t even draw shit so I was just lying to myself, I was pretending to be good at drawing when in reality I sucked so bad and just was faking for myself because I knew how to mechanically draw, but not how to draw with just my mind as the reference pic. I don’t know if they looked so horrible for everyone or just for me, but it made me so damn angry. And I’m not an angry person but when I tried to draw it just made me so stressed out and I wanted to break everything and throw stuff out of the window so I stopped.

AND YET I still feel the urge to draw but I don’t know WHAT to draw. Okay since the first Deadpool movie I’ve been wanting to draw this once scene from it but I’ve never started because it’s too much work to go and find that scene on the bluray and actually get that paused so you can see the lines well enough. So I’ve been thinking about that scene for over 2 years and have done nothing. Also it would just be one stupid-ass piece of fanart portrait which lack the soul and it’d be just for me to do something DP related for couple of hours as that’s probably only way to do something lasting that long. Unless I watch the movie or play the game 24/7 but... maybe not :DD (Also still can’t beat the last boss in the game because they really did not think about players using keyboard so it’s pissing me off too. I really want to know how the damn game ends!)

I also love comics and I started drawing comics when I was 9-10 years old. Or first I started with just series of pictures. Acually have to tell this one here: always the same story tho about a dino riding another dino like a horse in a competition, and then falling over this water hurdle that was deeper than swim pools what the fuck - and it ended with him watching the competition from tv with his family and he was in a wheel chair with an overall plaster cats what was wrong with me??? But I also did draw on coloring books, once I draw with a red crayon on some sort of swan, I drew wounds and blood everywhere and kept telling a story of how lion had attacked it and my aunt was there listening to me horrified :DDD I also remember how I once drew a cat family that apparently turned out to be so dangerous they had chains and all and eventually I ended up drawing lines over the whole paper because they were also behind a ighly securited fence. Okay, I know this sounds pretty creepy, but actually I’ve always liked animals over people so I have no clue why I drew things like these when in the end I could never hurt animals. Maybe Jurassic Park and other movies, as well as documents about animals, had something to do with this? Who knows...

(I also have traumas for the movie “Homeward Bound”, the scene where the cat’s in the basket in the middle of the river and the dog is trying to rescue it. I was very young at the time when my mom caught me in front of that movie crying like a... baby? because of that cat. I haven’t been able to watch that film ever again. So that probably tells you how much I love animals and especially cats as I’ve always lived with cats and we had three when I was born. But I did adopt this to my plays as a kid, I loved so much to play when someone or even better if it was a GROUP OF KIDS that were in a huge danger and they needed to be rescued. I did this with every single play I played back then. Still love it when x rescues y but nowadays more like on an emotional level as I was always alone against the people hating me and I could only dream about someone standing for me.)

BUT TO THE COMICS. At first they were just stream of consciousness without any plot, I created new characters all the time and never finished their stories as they had no plot ever. Also loved drawing “biographies”, usually it was some female anthropomorphic animal or insect that used clothes and had hair because I loved drawing different styles, make up and hair/hairdos to them. And often it started with couple of panels telling about her story from the beginning, then jumped to some age and next thing was panel per age at the same time telling about her in tht age. The idea was just to draw lots or hair and clothes, and then it ended with some age I considered “adult enough” and then their teenage/adult life started with boyfriends and stuff. Usually it was pretty much an ugly duckling kind of story where they were different and maybe bullied because of something (this one bunny had floppy ears so they did everything to get them pointy because she was bullied I guess? At least she hated her ears. Btw this was my first real comic ever!). But you can see why I still love playin The Sims games! :D

After these endless stories about nothing particular I came up with the idea of actually writing a plot and then drawing. Ended up with plenty of short comics that actually had a plot and some idea in them. The characters did change tho and I probably had couple of stories of each different characters. They were also always animals but no more antropomorphic but just animals that had speech bubbles.

My last comics ever (so far) have been two originals and one that I drew as a fanart. The two originals were called Micro - The Insane Murdered, and Little Emo Bird.

Micro was this dino-like creature, yet another anthropomorphic character because I did not know how to draw people without copying anyone’s style and I just never came up with humans as characters. So the header tells it, Micro is a murderer. This one I actually liked a lot! I was 15-17 when I drew him, but it was also much gore as, well, he’s a murderer. Or just a killer as he’s pretty much insane and doesn’t plan but just acts out of blue. I think I drew 3 different short stories for him and I had the last one written down. It was pretty interesting as I didn’t draw him for a while and when I remembered those plans and came back, I had had my identity crisis and EVERYTHING had changed. Original plan was to get him a girlfriend - after he was caught for his crimes and snet to prison,m he later was sent to an asylum for prisoners. This story should have taken place in there, introducing fellow inmates and Micro just felt like he was not in the right place as he was not ill. And then he would have met this girl and they’d have fallen in love and so on. But when I later checked that out I was so... confused :D Like, this is not me? This is what I hate now? Romance, ew, heteronormativity, ew, JUST THE CLICHÉS, BIG EW. So I just wrote these this very deep wall of text about his personality but it never turned into a comic. But I remember how proud I was about it as Micro was meant to be partly me but also something I could never be and never will be and what not, just some pretty cheesy blabber that felt good back then but right now would feel just as stupid as the first plan :D

The second one, Little Emo Bird, was an interesting one as well. I created it as a joke because I was a huge My Chemical Romance fan and there was this never-ending debate over if they’re emo or not (and as a fan I believed them so they were not emo) and created LEB. It was this bird and you usually saw just his head and occassionally wings too and he was very stereotypical emo with black hair and he was very suicidal and angry 24/7. Also others called him gay when he insisted that he was not. But actually I always imagined him with a girl emo bird instead of another boy bird but it was just the another stereotype that emoboys are gays. So it was not meant to be mean but just fun. I also liked him very much because he talked with me - the drawer/writer. Like he knew he can’t kill himself because I won’t let him and it pissed him off very. much. And he hated how the panels he was in had frames looking like scars. Oh my bad, the panels were not scars but the arrows pointing the next panel :D I’m not sure if he was actually suicidal but at least he acted like one because he was desperate for attention and tried to get attention to show no one gives a fuck about him and the would get angry for stupid reasons. So basically just a very moody teenager. 

I have all these on my DeviantArt if someone’s interested, but I want to link here one of the... memes? What the shit these DA fill-this-thing were actually called memes? I wonder if they still are o.O Anyway, I want to link this one because I think it’s still the best one and I really like the outcome here :D

Here’s also the link to my dA as this empty meme was done by someone else and I wanna give credits. Oops, apparently it’s a deactivated account so nevermind, but here’s the link anyway.

The latter and so far the latest comic was about Die Ärzte, or more about the slash pairing (still my OTP) and I drew couple of comics about them, as well did write fanfiction too. These comics were my first to have human characters as I was tired of drawing everyone always in the form of animals (horses usually) just because I didn’t know how to draw people, and many people found their animal forms really disturbing to view so I changed to people.

After those I just haven’t drawn anything really. Comics would be nice, once I actually thought it would be interesting as a career but then again, I can’t work under pressure and I couldn’t live from art because you never know when the artblock hits you. Right now it’s been on for couple of years and basically only way to create something atm is to play The Sims 3 and write my TS3 blog. At least it’s something, pics with text so... I still would love to draw but I just have NO IDEA of any concept or anything.

Also just want to say here that after thinking about my Micro and LEB it’s weird how there’s certain things that actually are just the things that made me start liking Deadpool. (I’d have written ‘fall in love’ but as much as he is a fictional character, he’s still a human being and I don’t/can’t love humans...) It just shows that I’ve always like that kind of things with comics but didn’t know they existed outside of my comics until I found out about DP. Have to admit tho, that I haven’t read any DP comics... But I have an excuse: I don’t know if there’s a way to get those in Finland. ANYWAY, I just feel like someone would think these were affected by DP but actually they were not. Micro and LEB both were created in 2008 and I did not find out about Deadpool until in... 2013-2014 I think? And even then it was just occassional browsing in the internet before the movie trailers came out and that’s when I really got interested and started reading about him a lot and bought the game and here I am now. Acually not sure if it was in 2013 when we were just rewatching the X-Men movies and a friend of mine probably mentioned Deadpool at some point and told some things about him that got my attention. But really I got interested bit later anyway.

I really feel like I should do some sort of comparison between me drawing from photos vs. me drawing from my head to show how huge the difference is. And this annoys me a lot because I feel like I’ve been using these photos to LEARN to draw better but it just feels like my skills are at the maximum no matter how much I’d practice, and I’m not happy with the result as I feel like I should learn even more but how do you learn if your skill is stuck??? People always say that you just need to draw every day and a lot and they don’t understand that’s what I did and never could cross a certain point. I probably was also very jealous at my siblings because they were 5732850 times better than me who had been drawing longer than them (as I’m 3½ years older), just seeing them to improve made me so angry because I did not seem to improve at all. With copy drawings I did tho! But not with the ones I wanted to.

Now, I also know that lots of artists use lots of reference photos and that’s actually great and made me feel better as I always assumed everyone is naturally that awesome and I can’t even learn more; so it made me feel better because I also have permission? I’m not fake for using photos? But I’m just this... all or nothing so I very easily feel like I’ve betrayed myself if I don’t draw all by myself and then I need to point out that hey I’m not this good in reality I used a photo heh don’t think I’m a naturally gifted as I’M NOT asddd. So yeah, my need to constantly explain myself is on the way with this one too :))) But I don’t think this would be so bad anymore if I now started drawing again, but the biggest problem still is, that I still have that artblock and I haven’t had inspirations in years. Apart from that DP fanart idea which I don’t know if I should carry out or not... sigh.

...I want teh comics!!! I once even wanted to start this webcomic diary because I used to read lots of them but even that idea was dead from the beginning because my life is so boring there’s nothing to draw about. I also have drawn couple of comics of our cats but again it’s the thing I can’t (or I make myself believe that I can’t...) draw the way it’d look nice and appealing, now they’re just black and white mess.

[sending-the-message]

My First One Star Review on AirBnB by shawk11

Buckle up boys and girls. My buddy and I just experienced some grade-A Creepyshit while on a trip to Red Rocks in Colorado. I write a lot of things down anyway and so I figured I might as well post the story here and see what you guys think.

So who here has used AirBnB? raises hand. I think I've used it no less than twenty times. All great experiences up until this point, seriously.

I need to go ahead and preface this by saying that, while I could send you a link to this house, it wouldn't do you any good because it's not there anymore. But we'll get to that.

I'm guessing that since you're reading this, you're probably a bit like me. A big reader, kind of weird, generally a fan of being scared. More power to you. My buddy (we'll call him John) is the same way.

So a few weeks ago me and John saw that one of our favorite bands was going to be playing at Red Rocks. We've been talking about making a trip up there for years now (we live in Florida), and the timing seemed perfect. Both of our wives are pregnant, and the thought process was that if we were going to make a trip like this, it was now or never.

The drive was going to take about 24 hours, so we decided we would drive until about midnight after we got off work, find a place to crash, and finish the drive the next day. I immediately hopped onto AirBnB and started looking for somewhere cool to stay.

Remember what I said earlier about being into the slightly creepy?

Well, I'm scrolling through potential places to stay in Tennessee, since it's about eight hours from Tampa (where we live). I come across this majestic, plantation style house in some place called Sequatchie, Tennessee. The pictures look amazing, and it only costs $30/night to stay there ($30 gets you the upstairs suite, complete with its own bathroom). You can tell that it sits on a tall hill in the woods, overlooking a fairly large valley. It's a sprawling, two story house, white wood, with ferns hanging off the wraparound porch. It looks like something from To Kill a Mockingbird. And I'm immediately sending John screenshots like "dude, WE HAVE GOT TO STAY HERE!"

He texts back, equally enthused. He does point out, however, that the place has no reviews.

Now, in my book, this is an AirBnB no-no. But the place seems so cool, and it's so cheap, and, what can I say, I was feeling spontaneous. So I booked it (strict cancellation policy be damned). I mean, you can't beat fifteen dollars per person. We would play rock-paper-scissors to see who got the bed when we got there.

A couple weeks go by and the day of our trip finally arrives. We both get off work at 4 and meet up, already packed and ready to go. We knew that the trip from Tampa to Sequatchie would take 8 hours, so we didn't waste any time getting on the interstate.

Honestly, the drive up there was pretty uneventful so I will spare you the details. By the time we make it into Tennessee, it's approaching midnight. When we get off the interstate and head toward the address, it's dark. It doesn't get this dark in Tampa. Apparently the town of Sequatchie isn't overly concerned with things like streetlights.

The cell service finally dwindled to nothing about 15 minutes after getting off the interstate (surprise, surprise), but John was smart enough to screenshot the route beforehand so that it wouldn't be lost (5 star wingman there, ladies and gentleman).

We navigate some serious back roads, eventually leaving the pavement behind for a long, gravel driveway. It didn't stick out at the time as much as it does in retrospect, but the mailbox was actually lying on the ground, causing us to miss the turn on the first pass. Only after getting out in the pitch darkness and examining the fading address stickers by the light of John's phone did we determine that we were indeed on the right track.

We continue up the driveway (if not with a little more skepticism than before). It winds on for (I shit you not) 12 minutes through some mountainous territory. At times the grade became serious enough that I thought I might have to put my four-runner into four wheel drive.

We finally come around a bend in the drive that opens up onto a large field. In the distance, I see the house briefly as my high-beams swing across it during the turn. I think that was the first time that I really became concerned that something wasn't right. In the brief seconds that my headlights illuminated the house, it was obvious that the pictures had been deceiving. It was without a doubt the same house, but it clearly hadn't been cared for in some time. Half of the shutters were hanging off haphazardly, the white paint was dirty and chipping. The ferns from the picture had long since withered away.

My car continues the turn and the house is once again obscured by darkness as we make our way around the perimeter of the field in front of it. I remember John saying something along the lines of "what the fuck have you gotten us into," as we pulled to a stop in front of a massive old willow tree that served as the end of the driveway. It looked like some ancient sentinel in the semi darkness.

The house stands about 30 yards away from the end of the drive. I notice with relief that it does have electricity. At the side door, there is one of those old fashioned yellow light bulbs casting a sickish glow onto the surrounding bushes and the sidewalk leading to the driveway. I turn off the car and try to lighten the mood by saying something my grandfather always used to say.

"Home again, home again, jiggity-jig."

John casts me a sideways glance and smirks.

"We could leave. Find a Motel 6, or just take turns driving."

At this point, my creep-meter was quietly pinging at around a 6 out of 10. Just on the threshold of Uncomfortable, but not quite there yet. Definitely not Motel-6-Uncomfortable.

"Come on John, where's your sense of adventure," I say as I swing my door open and hop out. My feet make a scrunch sound as they meet the gravel and I'm immediately struck by how loud the sound of the summer bugs is.

We grab our backpacks and pillows and make our way down a very old sidewalk, toward that yellow light. For some reason it reminds me of a hospital.

"The instructions said check-in whenever, the key will be under the mat."

John stoops and lifts a corner of the ancient mat. Underneath is a skeleton key, roughly the length of my hand. Pretty cool.

He stands up with it and we just sort of stare at each other for a second. The door has a large frosted window, and we can see that it's pitch black inside. He shakes his head at me and sticks the key in the lock. The dead bolt makes an ungodfully loud kachunk sound that, I swear, echoes. I reach passed John and push the door inward.

The air that blows out as the door opens is stale. It smells like air that has been sitting still since the Paleozoic Era. I need to be clear that it doesn't stink, it's just thick with the smell of disuse, if that makes sense. John gestures for me to go first, so I do.

If I'm being honest, I think at this point my creep-meter had probably edged up to a 7. Still quiet, but now a more pronounced pulse. Still not Motel-6-Uncomfortable. The place just felt so empty.

I shine my cellphone light around in front of me as John follows me through the door. We are in a large kitchen. Huge, even. He gently eases the door shut. Every footstep sounds like a squeaky explosion on the weathered hardwood, and John shushes me as I make my way towards the counter on the other side of the room. I can see a piece of printer paper illuminated there. My stomach drops as I get closer.

Now, you're going to think I'm making this up, but I swear to god, it's a piece of printer paper with the words "make yourself at home" scrawled on it in blue crayon. And it looks like it was written by a toddler. Each letter is blocky, crooked, and two inches tall. I turn and look at John as he begins to read it over my shoulder, and I immediately recognize his Nope-The-Fuck-Out-Of-Here expression. His eyes are huge.

"Dude, what the fuck."

"DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK."

He's looking over my shoulder now. I snap my head around in the direction of his gaze.

"What!? What is it!?"

He's looking out a huge window. Through it, the tree line is dimly illuminated in the hazy yellow glow from the bulb outside the door.

"I just saw something moving out there. I swear. Just passed the edge of the woods."

I strain my eyes, but see only the trees and their shifting shadows. It seems like the wind is picking up.

If the crayon hadn't done it, John's outburst had. I was officially Motel-6-Uncomfortable.

"Let's get out of here. You're right, we can find another place to stay. Sleeping in the car would be better than this."

John is one hundred percent on board. We make our way out of the kitchen and let the door slam, no longer worrying about being quiet. I'm actually jogging by the time we get halfway down the sidewalk, my backpack bouncing awkwardly. John beats me back to the car and I see his shoulders slump as he slows down.

"What?" I ask. Then I see.

The tires. All four tires are completely flat.

That's when the screaming started.

[ryanmcityredocuproject-blog]

Evaluation

For this brief titled ‘Issue Based Documentary’ we were tasked to create a printed publication based on the findings of an issue of our groups choice. It would also feature everyones work contributed to produce the final publication using a mix of graphic design, illustration and photography. 

Our chosen issue was livestock agriculture and its effects on the planet. Our project was first influenced and largely based on the findings of the documentary and like-wise titled website ‘Cowspiracy.’  This documentary investigates the livestock agriculture industry and goes into detail about how it is the number one cause of pollution in the world (a somewhat largely unknown fact) as well as the number one case of global warming, water scarcity, species extinction, Amazon destruction, depletion of oceans and world hunger. Due to the nature of the topic of our publication a target audience isn't specified, it is aimed at the public in general young and old, men and women. 

I think some of the best ideas we came up with was choosing many aspects of livestock agriculture and the the livestock trade to showcase in our publication, such as the animals themselves, the feed for animals, factories for livestock processing and the meat process. I also think our choice to use an ‘accordion’ style book was effective. We also had to have our publication printed by our company due to the dimensions and it being double sided which did bring some complications.

I first decided to sketch a variety of livestock animals from images online so I had a resource for future work, in which we then focused mainly on cows as well as chickens and pigs. I drew pencil sketches and then experimented with colour later on. I also used pigment liner a lot as I found it was very visually effective. I also managed to use my own photographs taken form the Birmingham animal conservatory as well as some of my group members photographs. 

I looked at several artists work such as Robert Weaver and George Butler for their use of documentation as a form of illustration. I was also influenced by the photography of  Hendrik Zeikler especially his use of portraiture for animals which influenced one of my oil pastel pieces. 

In terms of illustrations featured in the book, many were pencil sketches alongside a black liner piece and an oil pastel piece. However, the pencil sketches were too faded when scanned in so I had to go over them in pigment liner and edit them on Photoshop by changing the contrast and brightness so they could be featured in the book. Due to the colouring of the book all my illustrations had to be black and white, so some were then edited to monochrome to fit into the colour scheme.

I used traditional mediums for my illustrations mostly as I am most comfortable using them though digital art is something I intend on getting better at and using more in the future. I used pencil, pigment liner, coloured pencil and oil pastels. I think my most successful work was my watercolour pieces as I think they turned out really well and the photographs I used of Katies turned out pretty well themselves. I particularly think  the painting with two cows and pigment liner turned out very well and is the piece I myself would have chosen to use in a printed publication or print. I also think that my oil crayon pieces were quite successful too and lend well to an expression-ate use of colour. 

I think that my photos I took of livestock animals were somewhat unsuccessful. There weren't many livestock animals at the conservatory anyway and I went there initially as after hours of searching, I couldn't find the Old Refectory Farm. The photos I took of exotic animals actually turned out quite well. 

It was regrettable that I couldn't visit more locations but as they cannot be accessed directly by train (and I do not drive) , it was difficult to find locations to take pictures. Although our group did meet up a number of times to discuss the project and Jack and Katie went to the livestock market and managed to take some excellent photographs.

 I also regret not drawing on location, at my visit to the conservatory it was raining and I was in a rush and my camera had low battery, so that was somewhat poor planning on my part.  If I did this project again I would like to draw on location and take more pictures that I could use for illustrations, it would also be nice to improve on my photography! In terms of printing I would next time like to hand print my illustrations and bind them to create a kind of art book. Perhaps it would also be nice to pick a more positive topic for another project as well, I initially thought looking into sub cultures in Birmingham would make for interesting project and publication.