#but i wanted to have fun with it (and in an angsty way)

[jinxvex]

heyy! if u take requests i was wondering if you would make an enemy sevika x reader, where they treat each other like shit until sevika has enough and fucks the shit out of reader 💪😊

♱ enemy. (enemy!sevika x reader) ♱

enemies to lovers is lowkey my fave trope so, let’s go!!

also sorry i haven’t posted! finals week… 🫠😓

cw: nsfw, kink city LOL!! sevika is v rough, possessiveness, BDSM elements, BREEDING KINK (oops), name-calling (slut, whore, bitch, etc), cursing, arguing, a tiny bit angsty, spanking, choking, hair-pulling, doggy position, she eats you out!! it's sweet towards the end dw!

there's def more but OOP-

wc: 4.2K! (oops)

sevika hates you.

1. she hates the way your hips sway when you walk.

she’s definitely ALWAYS looking at your ass.

2. she hates how you talk and how you giggle under your breath when you laugh at something you shouldn’t. your voice sounds like music, like wind chimes in the spring that cause her vision to blur.

3. she hates the way your skin glows in the sunlight.

4. she hates how you dress and style your hair. you stand out. you personally customize your clothing, adding your own detailing on platform boots, jeans, jewelry, belts, accessories, tops, and jackets. your uniqueness annoys her beyond belief.

“what a fuckin’ show-off! this isn’t a fashion show,” she mutters under her breath to get a rise out of you.

5. she hates the way you talk back to her, even when she starts an argument first.

“well maybe you could learn something, you wear the same shit like… every day,” you respond briskly, already sick of her berating you as you’ve just walked through the doors of silco’s office.

she’s older than you, you should show some respect! you act so high and mighty like nobody can crack that tough persona you put on to protect yourself from the dark and dangerous streets of zaun.

she scoffs. her thumb and index finger pinching the bridge of her nose to alleviate the stress you’ve subjected her to. she cannot believe this.

“see? this… child is so incompetent! fuckin’ impossible to work with! she’s probably late to this meeting because she’s too busy playing dress up to actually do her job.” she directs towards you although not looking at you, opting to look at the tall chair covering silco’s body as she sits in the chair across from his.

silco sighs, clearly annoyed at both of your antics. he swivels around in his chair to face you both.

“actually, she was doing something i assigned her to. last minute, but she always gets the job done.”

sevika’s eyes flicker to you, and you smirk at her assumption that you were accidentally late.

she scoffs again and drags her grey-ish eyes back to silco as she leans to the left, almost trying to get away from you standing at her right with your arms crossed.

“you see… you two are my best. i cannot afford to have you both acting like children when doing business. it could threaten everything i’ve—we’ve built. one wrong move could tarnish this.”

you and sevika stay quiet as you avoid eye contact with each other, you taking a newfound interest in the bookshelf as sevika’s eyes burn holes into the ground. you knew deep down that silco was right.

“it's time you’ve both gotten along, for all of our sakes. don’t disappoint me again.”

…

you haven’t seen sevika since silco’s ‘lecture’ he gave you two a couple of days ago.

it's evening in zaun, streets and bars filling with people as the night threatens to begin.

you sat on the couch in the living room of your tiny yet, surprisingly homey apartment. your legs resting on the coffee table and you busy munching on cheap snacks, reflecting on the conversation that took place not too long ago. you were livid.

i mean, what else more did he want from you!

sevika was impossible. you tried to get along with her in the beginning but no matter what, she hated you!

she constantly finds new ways to poke fun at you, belittle you, and insult your intelligence. she obviously thinks you aren’t worthy of being a part of silco’s inner circle and that offends you.

and yes, she’s incredibly hot, but all of that was overshadowed the moment she decided you were a piece of gum on her boot!

you sigh incredulously, “damn… i need a drink.”

…

a few minutes later, you’re walking into the last drop and making a beeline for the bar.

as you sit down, your hands graze the edges of the countertop and you close your eyes briefly to let out a breath you’ve held in your throat for…

who knows how long?

that garners the attention of thieram, the kind bartender whom you’d had polite conversation with in the past. you’d taken quite a liking to his kind personality in the past.

“what would you like tonight, miss?” he smiles at you.

as you rummage through your mind for something to order, there isn’t much.

you aren’t a big drinker so it was hard to decipher what was good and what wasn’t because you simply don’t know.

“she’ll have the whiskey, best you've got.” you hear a gruff voice come from behind you. you hear the person’s rough steps come to a stop beside you and they sit.

“ugh.” you scoff out loud and roll your eyes dramatically as you avoid looking in her direction to your right.

sevika.

“coming right up…” thieram, not even wanting to know, swiftly walks off to make your drink.

“what do you want?!” you huff out in annoyance as you finally bring your head up to make eye contact with her.

“nothin’… just enjoying you strugglin’ to order. jus’ was painful to watch, doll.”

your eyebrows raise as your mouth opens and closes, you not exactly knowing how to respond. especially to "doll".

although her tone indicates that she was merely joking, you retaliate against her anyway for the way she’s treated you in the past.

“i- you know what?! if you’ve just come to gloat and make me feel like an idiot just go right ahead and fuck off!” you state. causing a vein to pop out of your forehead and your left eye to twitch in pure anger.

“i’m not in the mood for your shit” you restate your previous point.

“y’know? you’re such a pain in my ass. always bitching and complaining about everything, always in the way, you’re unbelievable.”

you pause your movements, surprised at the lengths she’s going to make you feel terrible.

“i think you look weak.” she finishes, smirking as your eyes threaten to spill with tears out of rage.

“you’re such. a. fucking. bitch.” you emphasize the b in the word bitch as you leap off your chair and stomp out of the bar, trudging back to the comfort of your own home.

thieram walks back over to the side of the bar you were just at and his face scrunches in confusion.

“uh… where’d she go?” he questions as he raises his hands, one hand occupied with your drink.

sevika is still sitting with her mech hand pressing into a tight fist on the counter and her human hand tightly squeezing the bridge of her nose.

she makes up her mind as she stands up and makes her way to your apartment, already having memorized where you lay your head at night.

tonight, you’ll learn respect. obedience.

…

you’ve just made it back to your apartment and you’re slamming the door shut. as you pace back and forth from your kitchen to your living room you’re met with complete and utter silence that taunts you.

“how do i let her get to me? every. single. time.” you’re thinking, mentally cursing yourself for being so stupid. for letting her see you upset.

you hear a loud knock at the door and you pause all moments, as you make your way to answer it, your thoughts race with ideas of who may be at your doorstep at this time of night.

you open the door and you’re met with none other than the sight of sevika. both of her hands clench into fists at her sides as she gazes at you darkly.

it’s almost eerie, her silence. you sense something in her demeanor that is different than usual. it feels… scary.

you both say nothing as she pushes her way into your home, back turned to you as she stops in her tracks.

“wha- what the fuck? g-get out!” you scream out.

her head cocks over her shoulder, one eye looking back at you in a silent warning.

you slowly back up against the door as she turns her full body around to corner you against it. her stare pierces deep into your soul, you feel as though a knife has been jabbed into your gut.

sevika is a scary woman. you know you stand no chance against her strength. that frightens you slightly but you hold your head up high and maintain eye contact with her to stand your ground.

her hands are placed on either side of your head, pressing into the rough, wooden texture of the door. you hear the wood creaking when she leans in, nose brushing against yours. the silence is deafening.

"hmm..." she cocks her head to the right, still looking deep into your irises.

"sevika, l-let me go. what are you doing?!" you try to reason with her but she is unwavering as she takes her mech hand and trails it dangerously slowly up your body from your thigh to your bare stomach, then your arms.

it lands on your neck and wraps around it loosely as a scare tactic. it works as your eyes widen and your shaky hands come up to move the machine off you.

your legs start to weaken and your eyebrows furrow as your underwear pools with your desire.

"so fuckin' pathetic, you are..." she growls, tightening around your neck, not too tight. but tight enough to where your breath hitches in your throat and you're slightly gasping for air.

"y'know, was gonna try and get along with you tonight, doll."

the pet name makes the wetness in your panties become unbearable.

she continues, "ordered you a drink, cracked a joke 'n everything..."

"but, you're a brat to your core, aren't you? should make you apologize..."

an idea pops into your head, another way to disrespect her. you ponder in your head about how you shouldn't. against your better judgment, you say it anyway.

"make me, then,” your eyes flicker down to her lips.

her cocky expression falters slightly—her eyes threatening to look down at yours as well. and if looks could kill, you would die instantly.

"show me your fuckin' bedroom. now."

you're then peeling yourself off of the door. she takes her hand off your neck and backs up to let you pass. you drag your feet, walking slowly to irritate her further. she doesn't like that one bit.

you feel a hand brush the back of your head and she's harshly pulling you up against her chest by your hair. you feel her warm breath tickling your ear, getting ready to humiliate you even more.

"f-fuck! ow!" you yelp out in pain.

"nuh-uh. hurry the fuck up. move." she whispers into your ear.

sevika lets you go, roughly pushing your head forward to emphasize her point. you decide not to push her as you speed up.

as you enter your room, you let out a shaky breath, scared yet excited about the events about to take place. you're not facing her when you hear your bedroom door slam shut. you stop dead in your tracks.

"what-uhm, what's gonna happen?" you question.

you gasp out in surprise as she spins you around to face her and pushes you onto the bed. your ass rests on the edge of it and you're sitting up straight. sevika towers over you, way taller than usual. she looks like she could devour you as she's undressing you with her eyes.

"gonna hurt you, sweetheart. gonna punish you for being such a mean little brat." she smushes your cheeks together with one hand, causing your saliva to pool from your mouth and wet your lips.

"should've done this ages ago... maybe you'd be better behaved by now."

"p-please. i-'m sorry."

it kills you inside, that you secretly love this. you secretly love the idea of her touching you. punishing you, hurting you until you’re utterly ruined.

you’ve dreamt about this moment in light of all the arguments, yelling, and fighting.

in one swift movement, she stands you back up and takes your place on the bed looking up at you hungrily.

“bend over my knee,” she demands.

you feign disgust, and fear, “wh-what?! n-no i-”

“lay the fuck down, and bend over my knee before i spank your ass raw.”

you obey. she scoots back further on your bed so you can maneuver your way to lay your stomach across her thighs. your upper body and legs rest on the bed as your ass is slightly positioned in the air.

you can’t see her face, but you know sevika’s smirking as she’s finally got you where she wants you.

she coos at you, tugging slightly at the loose shorts you threw on after you got home from the bar, “look at you in these little fuckin’ shorts, so slutty.”

she slides her hand up your outer thigh, moving closer to your ass.

all of a sudden, she pauses her movements.

she leans down, her mouth next to your ear, “we can stop at any time. jus’ let me know, doll.”

your heart clenches at her words, feeling the intense emotion behind them and now knowing deep down that she doesn’t want to actually hurt you.

it turns you on even more.

“want it vika, p-please.”

she lets out a sound that’s of a groan and a growl, “fuck yeah, baby. gonna punish you—gonna make it hurt,”

“gonna take it? gonna be a good girl for me?”

“ye-yes! yes!”

sevika hooks the fingers of her human and mechanical hand under the waist of your shorts and roughly tugs them to the floor.

“fuck… no panties too? my god,” she admires you.

you say nothing as her hand finds its way back to moving up your thigh and finally grips your ass, kneading the plush flesh.

“gonna actually do anything or?…” you get cocky, too impatient to feel her hands on you.

a loud ‘SMACK!’ sounds throughout the ambient space of your bedroom, the pain searing into the skin of your right asscheek, making you scream out into the bedspread.

“fuckin’ brat, like i said.”

you’re met with another ‘SMACK!’ in the same spot. you scream out again except this time, it sounds a hell of a lot more like a moan.

“can’t believe you’re gettin’ off to this. bein' my little painslut…”

she hits you again, “you like when i hurt you? don’t you, baby?”

“yes!” you’re repeating, face still smushed into the blankets.

“what was that?” she presses further as she tangles her hand into your hair and yanks it upwards.

“f-fuck! yes, yes!”

she spanks you again and again, alternating between each cheek until you’re sobbing.

although she hadn’t spanked you more than 15 times, you felt as though it was 10 times that much.

she’s soon rubbing a soothing hand over the expanse of your ass, attempting to calm the ache in your ass while neglecting the one in your cunt.

“my girl. did so good for me, baby. so, so good.”

she sits you up and props you up next to her. you wince as your ass meets the surface of your bed.

“we’re not done. gonna make this pussy feel so good, i’ve been neglecting her haven’t i?”

“mhm…touch me please.” you’re out of it, eyes lazily gazing into hers.

“suppose i should reward you?”

her hands caress the sides of your neck and she captures your lips in a gentle and passionate kiss.

as her lips meet yours, the world is silent, all you can think of is sevika.

the kiss soon turns sloppier, needier. your tongues clash against one another causing saliva to drip down both of your chins.

it’s disgusting really, the definition of swapping spit.

neither of you seems to care though. you both moan through the kisses, gripping at each other.

she breaks the kiss to tear your shirt off your body.

“such pretty tits… so beautiful.”

you lean in and peck her lips, “want you bad, vika. please just fuck me already,” you beg.

“you’re beggin’ me?”

“yeah,” you respond.

“fuckin’ beggin’ me, huh?”

“fuck yeah, baby,” you respond another time, your bedroom eyes never leaving hers.

this back-and-forth dirty talk makes the both of you so wet, that the need between you increases with each exchange.

“you don’t even realize how much of a whore you sound like when you say that shit, baby."

oh, you know.

“i love it,” she doubles back.

“gonna eat you first, get you ready for my cock.”

you pause.

‘she didn’t… did she?!’ you exclaim in your head, incredibly surprised she brought an entire strap-on to your house.

“mm… back the fuck up, lean up against the headboard.”

you do as she says, spreading your legs for her in the process.

“good fuckin’ girl.”

she kisses down your neck, stomach, and thighs—her mouth now dangerously close to your naked cunt.

“perfect pussy… so pretty and wet.” she blows cold air on it, admiring the way you clench as she does so.

she laughs out loud, “you’re clenching around nothing, baby… you need this dick in you.”

you don’t even notice you’re looking up at the ceiling, you then look down at her between your thighs—you notice her pants are pulled off. her mech hand is gripping her black plastic cock through her boy shorts.

it’s huge. you’re not sure if it can even fit inside you and that makes you crave it more.

you moan at the sight, “mhm! yes! need it in my pussy. wanna cum on it.” you manage out. your brain is mush!

“soon,” she promises.

she suddenly delves into your pussy, tongue experimentally licking around your folds, then your hole, and your clit.

you’re on cloud 9. your cunt twitches with need because you can feel every detail of her mouth dragging along your heat.

your moans are uncontrollable as she’s practically making out with your cunt, her spit drips onto your clean bed as she’s sloppily eating your pussy out.

she’s nasty with it, spitting on it, getting it dripping wet for you to take her.

“fuck! please!! gonna cum!” you yell out.

all of a sudden, you’re met with cold air. and your cunt is met with a thought to be forgotten ‘SMACK!’

you yelp out in pain and pleasure, the mix too overwhelming for your poor pussy to handle.

“you cum when i fuckin’ tell you to. ask me if you can come next time.”

“‘m sorry vika! promise i won't do it a-again.”

“yeah, yeah. turn around.”

you whine at the loss of her mouth on you; it just feels so good. but you listen anyway.

you’re in doggy facing the headband with your back slightly arched as you look back at her behind you.

she lifts her shirt over her head; she has nothing on underneath, giving you a full view of her sculpted abs. you graze them with your fingertips, amazed at how beautiful she is.

“beautiful, gorgeous…” you state to her and your eyes meet hers once again, showing her you mean what you’re saying.

she huffs out in…shyness? she looks down at the bedspread below you two and she tugs down her boy shorts, throwing them next to all of the other clothes that are splayed out on the floor.

“gonna put it inside, alright? gonna make you feel it.”

you look forward and your eyes trace the design of your headboard, anticipating her cock pushing inside of you, anticipating the delicious pain.

she eventually does push the toy inside of you, bottoming out quickly.

she gives you a moment to adjust. you both are breathing heavily and your nimble fingers grip at the sheets, mouth forming into the shape of an o because she’s so fucking deep.

one of her hands comes up to force your face into the pillows. she starts to move her hips slowly.

“fuuuuck, doll. arch that back,” she can feel the slow grind of your hips on her clit as you press back into her and arch slightly.

it’s not enough for her. she presses her other hand into the small of your back to truly get it so she’s as deep as she possibly can go in this position.

“oh my f-fucking god!” you’re moaning into the pillows, still as loud as if you were screaming.

she’s sped up now, her plastic cock digging into you swiftly yet deliberately.

“yeah…arch that shit, gimme that pussy, baby.”

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” you’re still moaning into the pillow. you can feel every ridge, every detail of her.

your pussy twitches with need, your slick dripping down your thighs, cunt squelching and eyes rolling to the back of your head because of the rough way she’s handling you.

“can feel you around me, i swear. you’re so tight, baby, s-shit…”

she’s bullying your cunt relentlessly and her dirty talk is making you so unbelievably wet.

“you love this dick, don’t you? you love when i fuck this pussy, huh?”

“yes, vika! yes! just like that! love it!”

“say you’re sorry. say you’re sorry for being such a bratty little bitch.”

“hmmph!” you defy her, for fun perhaps.

she slows down tremendously compared to the pace she set before, giving you shallow thrusts to match your attitude.

“say you’re fuckin’ sorry or I’ll make sure this pussy never cums again. you’re only cumming from me, so you’ll do what the fuck i say.”

whew.

“c’mon, baby say you’re sorry so i can give you this dick. gonna make you cream on it so good if you just let go,”

she continues, “i know you want it… know you want it in your guts. know you want my cum in you," she's delirious.

gripping your hip with her free hand and your hair with the other, she lifts your head out of the pillow so she can hear you better.

you cave.

“i’m sorry, i’m so so sorry, baby. i promise i’ll be good! pleeease just fuck me! need you. need your cum…”

she leans down and kisses the small of your back, “see, now how hard was that?!”

she moves her hips at a faster pace than before, seemingly deeper as well. your face has found its way back down, voice muffled into the sheets.

“yeah, baby, take this shit—take it aaaaalll in this fuckin’ pussy. pussy’s so good for me.”

“oh f-fuck, ‘s so deep!” you look back at her once again. her teeth are biting into her bottom lip, hips snapping against your ass as she stares down at you wildly, watching the toy disappear inside of you.

you then meet her eyes, completely cockdrunk. you beg her again, “please v-vika… need your cum in my pussy. need you to knock me up.”

“give it to me, give me your cum! want it deep in me, wan’ it!”

she growls out, “f-fuck shit’s gonna make me cum.”

“fuckin’ pussy is sucking me in, gonna make me get you pregnant, baby,”

her hips are still pistoning into you, the room filling with sloppy wet noises and smacking skin.

“i’m b-begging you to let me cum, p-please!” you’re still looking into her eyes, kindly asking her for permission to soak her faux dick.

“who’s fucking you then? say my name, doll.”

“you, sevika! you!! you’re the only one,”

“fuck yeah, you whore. ‘m the only one that’s gonna be in this shit from now on. that’s right…”

“plea-”

“cum. i want you to cum on this cock, make it yours. cum all over it,” she’s thrusting against your g-spot as deep as she can with one of her legs on the bed and her hands on your hips. you have no choice but to just, take it.

her words cause the coil in your tummy to snap, your orgasm crashing down on you like a brick to your head. like if a large rock were to crush you and kill you instantly. it’s rough, it’s overwhelming.

“fuck!!” you scream through it.

“i’m cummin’ too!! not gonna pull out. i’m gonna put a baby in you, get you nice and full,”

“mhm!! yes!”

the combination of you urging her on and the pressure of her hips and your ass fucking back onto them causes her movements to stutter, “s-shit!”

her orgasm washes over her much like yours, both her hands on your hips making it easier for her cock to kiss your cervix and for her clit to feel it.

you both eventually come down from your highs. sevika pulls out of you and quickly yanks the toy off.

you’re still in the same position so she presses down on your back to get you to rest your body on the comfortable and soft surface of your bed. you’re expecting her to tug her clothes back on and leave, but she doesn’t.

she praises you for the rest of the night, rubs aloe gel on your ass to soothe the welts, and loves on you as if she’d never hated you in the first place.

“you did so good, baby.”

“i’m so proud of you, you’re amazing.”

“you’re so pretty… you’re mine now.”

…

needless to say… she’s ruined you for everyone else. your petty rivalry long forgotten and replaced with the feelings that you’ve both been hiding. and as you’re both waltzing into silco’s office for a second meeting, he’s hoping for but not expecting for there to be a change in your relationship.

he is stunned when he’s met with no more eye rolls, scoffs, and bickering.

‘wonder what’s gotten into the two of them…’ he wonders.

well, something has definitely gotten into you.

…

I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN’T POSTED!! finals are over so i am free from the shackles of college! (for now…)

hope you guys like it! tbh this took me forever because i couldn’t figure out the plot LMFAKOW😭😭

[quarterlifekitty]

Hi! could you possibly write something about a fuckboy!soap and shy!reader that he uses for sex, and she keeps letting him? im craving angsty angst ANGST that just keeps hurting…you don’t have to if you don’t want to and thank you if you do! Have a great day!

Okay, one thing you all should know about me? Is that I’m a weenie lol so I can’t help but make things a little hopeful most of the time. Also— gonna make this like a college type AU

Soap clocks you from a mile away when he sees you at a party. There’s a cup of beer in your hand that you’ve been nursing, just sipping to have something to do while you cling to the side of the friend who forced you to come.

He’s seen you in his classes before. You’re good. Not the type to be seen in a place like this. And that kinda whets his appetite. He wants to fuck you, break you, make you fall apart for his own amusement.

He nudges Gaz— they have the routine down to a science— splitting up the birdies that are a little too huddled together so they can have their way with them. Gaz runs interference this time, Johnny mouthing an “I owe ye” his way— chatting up and pulling your friend away to talk a bit more. You’re alone now, and Johnny swoops in, weaving through people on a warpath.

He corners you expertly, and you’re a pathetically easy read. Easy to tease, to coax, to push. He just has to throw in a few lines about how pretty you look, peppered between him saying he’s always wanted to talk with you, always admired you in class— he gives just enough detail to lull you into thinking this is courting. That he’s going to fuck you because he likes you.

Works like a charm. Always does. You clumsily follow him to his room—“Ye didnae ken? This is my fraternity’s house, bonnie,”— as he pulls you along by the hand.

He enjoys pulling you apart. Like the birds taking Prometheus’s liver. He’s not a complete animal, he makes you cum, but he doesn’t give you kisses the way you’d probably hoped he would. He’ll tell his mates later— it was kinda cute how fucking bad you were at giving head, too.

He lets you stay the night even though your clinging is a bit annoying. Pushing you out would burn this bridge, and he’s not ready to do that just yet. Not when he could keep having fun.

Come morning your clothes are tossed your way (sans panties, those are going in his trophy collection), and he has the decency to drop you off at your place with the promise of further contact.

Come your next class, he’s back to acting like he doesn’t know you. You’re shy, but you’re not stupid. It’s easy to see that you were played, and you curse yourself for falling into it.

So why do you show up when he texts you, asking you to come over?

Promethean indeed.

And it keeps happening.

It’s not like he treats you badly— that’s what you tell yourself. You’re just the idiot for expecting more than orgasms. It’s nice to feel wanted. It’s not nice to put your clothes on and get out right after, but you’re willing to ignore that. You shouldn’t be. But you are.

You’re not the kind of girl who gets asked out. So why refuse the one source of attention you have? He makes you cum, right? That’s more than a lot of guys do, so it would be unfair to expect more. High maintenance. Right?

If Johnny can see the hurt behind your eyes when you turn to check behind you when you leave, as if he’ll suddenly change his mind and call you back into bed to hold you, he doesn’t do anything about it. He’s content to tug on his jeans and brush past you with a cigarette in his mouth.

You steel yourself as usual, double checking the straightness of your clothes as if it’ll make you feel like less of a cheap whore when his housemates glance your way as you leave.

The door across from Johnny’s is almost always open, despite how closed off its occupant seems. You’ve never met Simon. Well, you really haven’t met anyone in Soap’s life. That’s not what he keeps you for, is it? Fucktoys don’t get introduced to the friend group. Doesn’t stop Simon from staring holes in your back every time you leave. Must think you’re easy. Must wonder if Johnny’ll mind if he has a go. Or maybe he just thinks you’re pathetic. You certainly do.

But it’s happened one too many times. Apparently, even a worm will turn. His stare itches and crawls up your skin when you already feel like such a piece of meat— chewed up and spit out. And you must be losing flavor. Before long you won’t even have this. You turn to look at him instead of walking on as usual.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” You spit in a tone that surprises you. You’ve never said anything like that to someone, not in earnest, anyway.

“Lemme take y’out somewhere.”

What?

What?

[ssaaaronmontgomery]

stepdad! hotch punishing the reader for coming home late at night. (maybe she's wearing something skimpy and has hickeys on her neck) 🤭

you're amazing btw!! your stories make me feral 😩

Jealousy

Warnings: stepdad!hotch, jealous/possessive!hotch, mentions of r having a fwb relationship, mentions of masturbation (not described), mentions of sex (not described), language, one could say this is more angsty than my other fics, let me know if I missed anything!

Pairing: Stepdad!hotch x fem!reader

Word count: 1k

A/n: This is a fantastic idea!  Thank you for sending it in and for your compliment 🥹 I am glad my stories can do that ;) There is no real smut in this but because of the pairing and slight mentions of sex this is NSFW. I am open to writing a part 2 of this one!

Forever tags: @greg-montgomery @boredelle @hotchsdoormat @ssahotchnerr @criminalskies @beardedhotchh @hotchnerbau @ssamorganhotchner @mrs-ssa-hotch @canuck-eh @luvehotch @callm3c0nfus3d @ivyflowers13 @randomuserrs

Hotch: @14buddy22 @pastanoodles11 @htchnr

Let me know if you want to be added to my tags 🫶

This fic is NSFW minors DNI*

“Where have you been?” is the first thing you hear when you walk in the door.  You thought that maybe, just maybe Aaron would have gone to sleep instead of waiting up for you.  You thought that you would be able to sneak in and go unnoticed.  He would have to leave for work before you would be up and you would be able to avoid him confronting you.  No such luck.  

You let out a sigh and your head falls back dramatically.  “Nowhere important.  I just went out with a friend.” It’s not necessarily a lie.  The guy you were with is a friend, but there may be some occasional benefits too.  It was just a drink and a quick fuck.  It didn’t really mean anything.  It was just a way to release some stress that you’ve been feeling lately and accidentally create more stress for your stepdad.  

The dishevelled sight of you in front of him is something he absolutely hates.  The messy hair, the smudged lipstick, the already too-short dress that was pulled back down after your encounter but not quite all the way as it still rides up your thighs more than it normally would, and the marks on your neck are enough to have a slight wave of anger flooding through him.  He only wants to see that if he is the one that caused it.  But to see another guy’s work?  It pisses him off.  You’re his, or at least he wants you to be.  The two of you haven’t actually gone that far yet, but you both know that it is only a matter of time before you do.

“A friend?  One that you got all dressed up for and left all of those hickeys on your neck?” Aaron speaks coldly with a clear hint of suspicion and doubt as he crosses his arms over his chest.  Part of you is a tad embarrassed to be in this situation right now, but the other part of you that loves to be bratty and push his buttons from time to time is winning that conflict inside of you right now.  

“Yeah, maybe.  It’s not any of your business, Aaron.  I wanted to have a night out and have a little fun, what’s so bad about that?” You mirror him, crossing your arms in the same way that he is.  Your attitude has Aaron clenching his jaw.  That jaw that you would give just about anything to kiss and nibble on.  

He takes a few steps closer to you and his head tilts slightly in that way that for some reason always distracts you.  He hesitates and stands there just looking at you with a glare that you swear is sharp enough to pierce right through you and the door behind you.  When Aaron finally answers you his voice comes out low and dark.  “Because I don’t like it and I don’t think you should be seeing him.” He made it sound like something he was declaring.  Like it’s his choice and he gets the final say on the matter.  

This is ridiculous.  He thinks he can tell you who you can go out to see?  

“Then what would you suggest, Aaron?  Who am I allowed to see?” That bratty tone comes out again and he has to take a deep breath in so that he doesn’t snap.  Everything inside of him wants to push you up against that door behind you and tell you who you really belong to, to fuck you silly until you forget about everyone except for him.  He wants to tell you that he knows you’re always thinking of him when you are taking care of your needs whether you’re doing so with the help of another person or if it’s by yourself.  He wants to say that you can’t see anyone but him.  He holds back.  He wants to give in more than he could express, but he still manages to stop himself from acting on all of those thoughts.

You wish he would say and do all of those things.  You would love nothing more than to let Aaron absolutely ruin you however he sees fit.  You know he wants to and you’ve tried to push him over that edge, but he has way more self-control than you had originally thought he did.  That doesn’t mean that you haven’t watched it slowly crumble over time though.  You know it won’t take much more to finally break him down completely and when you do, you know that he is going to break you.  Especially with how long all of these feelings and emotions have been building up.  The tension between the two of you is palpable at all times when you’re around each other.  

To your surprise he chooses to back down this time.  He steps back closer to where he was before and looks down at the floor with a slight huff.  He’s jealous, but he’s containing it.  For now.

“Just…go to bed.  I”ll see you after work tomorrow.” He grumbles and walks away.  He goes to get a drink and sits quietly in his office, thinking about you and how he could treat you better than whatever ‘friend’ you saw tonight.  He wants to be the one you go to for a good time.  He wants to teach you a lesson and claim you as his.  He wants to tell you that no one else can do those things you both dream of him doing to you.  But for now Aaron has decided that it’s not quite the right time.  

You watch him get his drink and close the door of his office behind him before you go to your room.  You had hoped that he would snap tonight and make you unable to walk the next day, but your luck was against you yet again.  It made you feel a little disappointed and your heart sank just slightly.  But there was one thing that really stuck in your mind as you walked away.

Jealousy looks good on him. 

[pomefioredove]

(i suspect tumblr ate this ask so i'm resending it in the name of epelcember, but if it wasn't eaten and it's just hanging out in your ask box i'm so sorry for sending you this monster twice please ignore this and you are allowed to hunt me for sport now. legally.)

i think living at ramshackle during vdc would be for epel! ^_^ yes he did have to use all his strength to not start screaming and crying and throwing up out of sheer nerves the second it was announced they'd be staying at ramshackle. but like it's cool. he's chill guys.

giggling, kicking his feet, thinking about how cool they are as he watches them from around the corner hunched over crowley's their paperwork full shrimp mode. trying to lean on the doorframe all suave like only for the old ass wood to give out and make him eat shit. etc etc

if you wanna get a bit angsty with it, he'd probably notice they way they just slowly start to... deflate?? as soon as they get back to ramshackle after school or practice. their bright demeanour fades and they politely shy away from anymore interaction, heading to their room, shoulders slumped. he knows what it's like to have to put up a facade like that, but it's equally not as fun when you know you're one of the people someone feels the need to hide their true self from. he just wants to protect them!!!! (i will never shut up about how yuu's lines in book 6 where it seems they've become genuinely insecure about not having magic and not being able to help as much as they want)

also i can not get over that one time he woke yuu up in the morning. why did he do that? did i dream that? i don't think i did because i literally screamed in fear when it happened. imagine waking up to a little purple freak staring down at you. with blue eyes no less. who gave him the right.

ANON MY INBOX IS A MESS. I keep getting asks and then when I try to see them they disappear ;-; has happened like ten times now it's driving me INSANE

EPELCEMBER LIVES ON!

[mattyriddlesbitch]

Seven Minutes in Heaven (Chapter Nine)

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader

Warnings: Partying, drinking, kissing, bit angsty

It had been a few months of this one-sided relationship with Mattheo. You would try to talk to him, he would barely respond, not showing any interest. It was pretty similar to the days at the beginning, but felt a lot colder. A lot harsher. It wasn’t just short responses to you now, his tone was colder. He was trying to push you away.

And you were doing the opposite. Every time you saw him in class, or the hallways, or outside, or anywhere, you would make sure to say ‘hi’ and to try being your happy, cheerful self. You made sure to talk to him about your day when he was trapped in class next to you.

Surprisingly, Theodore had invited you and your friends to one of the infamous Slytherin parties directly. He actually seemed like he wanted you to go. So, of course, you decided to go, despite knowing Mattheo is going to be annoyed the moment he sees you there. He’ll probably lecture you about hanging out with his friends. But you didn’t care. After months of dealing with Umbridge and her dumb rules, and Mattheo’s attitude, you just wanted to have fun.

You spent the first hour dancing with your friends and drinking. You hadn’t quite learned your alcohol limit yet, so you were pretty drunk by the time Theodore and Lorenzo suggested playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was a dumb game that teens played to have an excuse to makeout, but you didn’t care at this point. It sounded fun and it sounded like a distraction. You found yourself sitting with your friends and some boys from various different houses on some couches, chatting and laughing.

You noticed when the first couple got picked, the boys did something a little different where they blindfolded the couple so they couldn’t see who they were going in the small closet with until they were already in there.

A few couples had gone already when Lorenzo told you it was your turn and you were blindfolded as he led you over to the closet. The closet was so small and there was stuff in the way that prevented you from standing, so Lorenzo gently guided you to sit down on the boy’s lap, who apparently was already sitting on the floor of the closet. You didn’t seem to mind as you giggled drunkenly.

“Okay, you can take your blindfolds off.” Theodore said as they shut the closet door.

You took off your blindfold and was briefly blinded by the light in the closet before noticing the boy you were sitting on was none other than Mattheo.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He said and sighed after he took off his own blindfold.

“I didn’t think you’d play this game.” You said, frowning at him.

“I didn’t think you’d be here.” He retorted. You could see the slight redness in his face and hear a slight slur in his words. He was drunk too.

“Theodore invited me.” You said, shifting on his lap to keep yourself steady. His hands found your waist to help you.

“Of course he did.” Mattheo rolled his eyes, looking away from you. “I thought I told you to stay away from him. From all of us.”

“And I told you I can make my own decisions.” You said, your hands going to his shoulders as he moved his legs slightly, throwing off your balance a little.

He exhaled sharply out of his nose before looking back at you. “Whatever.” He finally said after several seconds of staring at you.

You didn’t break eye contact with him as you both stared at each other for another moment. “Do you hate me?” You finally asked, the alcohol just wanting an answer out of him.

“What?” His expression turned from upset to confused at the sudden question.

“You keep pushing me away, and I know you say it’s to keep me safe, but I hate it. It makes me feel like you hate me. Like I’m not wanted.” You pouted, slowly feeling the buildup of tears.

“I don’t hate you. I’m just trying to keep you safe.” He said, his tone a little softer than before as he could see how upset you were.

“Please, stop pushing me away.” You asked quietly.

“I’m not talking about this right now.” He shook his head.

“Do you not want me around?”

“(Y/N), I said I’m not talking about it right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because this is a party and I’m trying to have fun. Not talk about all that.” He said, rubbing up and down your sides softly.

“But I want to. I want answers.” You said, rubbing at your eyes from the buildup of tears. “I miss you.”

He sighed, moving his hands to push yours away, cupping your face. “I know…I miss you, too.” He admitted before pulling your face towards him and kissing you. It wasn’t gentle, both of you were too drunk, it was a bit messy and needy.

Your hands cupped his cheeks as well. Your brain was on autopilot, just following his movements. His hands went back down to your waist, pulling you closer.

“What are you doing?” You asked between kisses.

He parted just enough to catch his breath. “Just playing the game.”

His lips were back on yours before you had a chance to respond. You really couldn’t tell if you were just drunk and imagining things or if he actually seemed a little desperate to kiss you. He broke the kiss and moved his head to kiss along your neck and jaw.

“You really don’t hate me?” You asked, just letting him kiss you.

“No. Now shut up.” He said against your skin.

“Can you stop pushing me away then?”

He groaned at your question and moved his head back to kiss your lips, just trying to get you to stop talking. His lips were so soft and you could still taste the alcohol on them. You really wouldn’t mind kissing him forever, even in this small closet.

No. Stop thinking that.

The closet door swung open after what definitely felt like less than seven minutes. Probably because of your little conversation. Mattheo reluctantly pulled away before helping you off of his lap, getting up himself, but leaving you with the other boys after that. You couldn’t find him again the rest of that night, but maybe that was for the best, you thought.

Chapter 8

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[agrlsname]

Thank you @therealsaintscully for the tag! I'm soon about to post what might be my very last fic, so it's quite fitting to look back on my journey now.

How many works do you have on ao3?

38 – all Johnlock, except for one GO fic. On New Year's Eve I will post number 39!

What’s your total word count?

371,360 (will soon top it off with another 221 words ;))

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Friends Do (by FAR), Who I Really Am (personal fave), The General Idea, Coldness/Heat, Tomorrow's Song

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

At first I responded to every single one! And I still try to respond to every single person. But now, I sometimes only respond to the last one if it's a reader who's commented on every chapter and I get all the comments at once. I like staying connected to the readers, that's one of the most fun parts about fandom!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It has to be This Is Your Song. I mean, there's another one within a series that end in an angsty cliffhanger, but MCD surely has to take the prize?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh my, nearly all of them have happy endings – so what would count as happier than happy..? Maybe it's actually the one that isn't posted yet – stay tuned for the resolution of the New Year's Kiss series!

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. I've written a fusion though (Johnlock and Moulin Rouge!).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yup. Some people get really angry at John in What Friends Do and they take it out on me. It's interesting because many MANY others adore the story with all their hearts! I even wrote a sequel from John's POV just to try to get people to understand, but the haters didn't understand anyway.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Even though at the beginning I said I'd never, half of my works are now rated E or M. What kind? Um, is "emotional, gay sex" a genre?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Many of them, into five different languages! Coolest thing ever.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think I'm too pedantic for that. I've loved working with my beta on some poem translations, though, that The Sky is Full of Fiddles is based on.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

38 fics – you all know it's Johnlock, right? There are others that I love, but nothing can ever compare.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have WIPs! I'm too much of a control freak and perfectionist when it comes to writing – I want to be able to change the beginning when I'm writing the ending. I don't even have unpublished WIPs – I hate the idea of leaving works unfinished. If I was still in those first years of writing frenzy, when I was single and didn't have a child, I'd have expanded on This Time – but as it is, I knew that I wouldn't have the time to do it justice. So I purposely ended on a cliffhanger that would still allow it to stand on its own the way it is.

What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, according to my beta! If you ask me, I'd say describing things – often emotions, I suppose – in new, poetic ways that play on different senses and therefore make them immediate. It's something I love reading myself, anyway, so it's something I've been practicing for... well, decades now. I'd like to think I've gotten at least somewhat good at it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm weirdly bad at coming up with the small details that aren't important, but needed. A recent example is I needed a character to text another with an invented problem to try to get him to come over. It wasn't at all important what the problem was, but it also couldn't be just anything; it had to be in line with his character. I could not for the life of me come up with this problem myself – eventually my husband did it for me. So those kinds of details in my stories are rarely from my own brain!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, well, I've tried not to do that. As a reader I find it annoying to have to look things up, or scroll down to the notes. I have three fics in which characters aren't English; in This Is Your Song I added a couple of "Bonjour"s for flavour, which is about as far as my own French knowledge reaches... In the Fiddles series they're Swedes and speak my mother tongue, but I've written everything in English except for the words that English doesn't have (like for example "polska", a kind of dance), and at the very end, some song lyrics that are then translated into English in the end notes that come immediately after. I did want to add that song for flavour, but I didn't want it to be annoying.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Johnlock! I started in the aftermath of season 4 back in January 2017 and then couldn't stop.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'm wondering whether I will come back to fic writing at a later point, but for another fandom. I've long wanted to write more for GO, although I already have written one fic. It would probably be a lot of fun to write for OFMD too. Doctor Who maybe? I don't know, it intimidates me to write for a new fandom where I don't yet know the characters as well as I know Sherlock and John.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This question is too cruel! There are so many of them that I love. Maybe I have to say The Sky is Full of Fiddles, after all – it holds such a special place in my heart for many reasons that go beyond the story itself (although that's true for several fics). Other faves are Your Daughter, The Zebra Sheets and of course Who I Really Am, which I'm liking enough to turn it into a novel I'm now trying to get published. See, I couldn't pick one!!

I'm on Tumblr way too sporadically to have any idea of who's already done this and who hasn't, so I don't dare tag anyone... Feel free to take it and tag me if you feel like it!

[tizeline]

Now that 2024 is coming to a close:

1) Of everything you've made this year, which ones are you the most proud of?

2) What are a few of your favorite things (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

Ooo fun ask!

1 - So in general I'm just really happy with how the entire Separated AU developed throughout the year! I created it almost exactly a year ago now (the anniversary is on the december 26th btw, might have something planned for that). And I've mentioned it before but I really wasn't planning on developing into a proper story originally, I thought of the basic concept one day and thought it was neat so I just wanted to put it out there. So I made a SINGULAR post and that was all I initially planned to do, but then I came up with more and more ideas and before I knew it the AU got fucking SECOND PLACE IN THE TMNT AU COMPETETION!? HELLO?? Yeah turns out people like my silly little AU, to this day I'm constantly blown away with all the positivity I recieve from this fandom and it means the world to me ueueueu 😭💕

I've made quite a few TSAU comics over the year, but the first TSAU comic I made that was longer than just a page or so was the Cell Talk comic and it still holds a special place in my heart for that reason. (Also it's where the whole bit about TSAU!Leo being a huge Shadow fanboy originated from so that's awesome)

There's also a certain project I've participated in and made art for that I'm really excited to show you guys, but I'm not really supposed to talk about that yet so uhhhhhh 🤫 you guys are just gonna have to wait for that one lol. Either way, I'm proud of myself for being being part of that :D

2 - OKAY ENOUGH ABOUT ME, time to give some other people the spotlight!!

First of all, special shout out to anyone who has made fanart of my AU, I love love LOVE you so much!!! 💕

The art that the other participants of the tmnt fashion competition made was also absolutely amazing, that event was so fun!! Kat especially, she totally deserved that win her art was so good!

I've been a fan of the Empyrean Weeping AU by cupcakeslushie for a while now, but it's just been getting better and better, the recent comics for the AU have really been absolutely fantastic, I adore the art and story!!

I've been absolutely obsessed with The Canary Continuity fic series by qolden recently it's driving me insane. Donnie is one of my favorite characters ever which means that of course like any normal person I love seeing him suffer! :D I was actually a bit worried that the story was gonna be a bit too angsty for me when I read the tags, but turns out it was just the right amount angst for me, and also it's gonna get a happy ending which is great, so yeah I'm having an absolute blast reading it!

[myokk]

this is when Sebastian thinks that he’s being REALLY obvious thst he likes Eloise and she’s like “why is he being so weird🤨 I like it though…😌💓”

[chemzee]

So uh. MelDan ammirite? This (kinda) blew up on Insta and other socmed I use so ig I'mma upload this here too lol

It started as a crackship (and it's still is, I kinda like to jokingly them imagine them pretending to like each other but actually wanting to skin each other alive, a little ooc for both of them, but it's mostly just for fun) but rn I'm exploring the potential ""relationship"" through a more angsty lense.

No text version below

[cathalbravecog]

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK

[13eyond13]

actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew

[huntingrays]

i hate having fanfic ideas i can’t/wont write

like i have one that i really want to write but despise doing rewrites of canon (bc back and forth between canon and new shit… even the thought drains me). but like… i still love it

basically, it’s a fic about young leo getting recruited into luke’s army. after leaving camp, luke came across a young, unclaimed demigod (who didn’t even know he was a demigod). he sees his talent in inventing things with only scraps and decides to recruit him. luke shows him the world of gods and demigods and tells leo he plans to make a new world, one where they don’t have to suffer anymore, one where no kid has to worry about getting hurt by those that are supposed to protect them or failed by the system meant to keep them safe, one where… nobody is left behind or abandoned. leo adores luke since he’s never had any adult male figure in his life, so he clings to the first guy who seems to care about him. they became very close and luke practically takes leo under his wing. he makes inventions for luke to help him fight the war and eventually shows him his powers. however, after the whole possession thing, leo starts to doubt if he’s doing the right thing. also, he wonders if any of the jokes the others make about him being a ‘replacement annabeth’ hold any weight. he doesn’t like fighting and especially doesn’t like hurting people with fire, not after what happened to his mother. luke promised he wouldn’t have to fight but his words don’t mean anything now that kronos is pulling the strings. the last straw was the experiments that transpired. kronos wondered if a boy who couldn’t be burned could be hurt by greek fire. luke did nothing to stop it, even as leo howled in pain. it didn’t scar or injure him, but he finally knew what it felt like to be burned alive. the worst part? now he could summon greek fire (and it hurt like hell to do so).

so, he decides he’d had enough. he can’t leave (he still has hope luke will come to his senses and they can run away and live happily together) but he does rebel in any way he can. he gifts greek fire to chb, he makes faulty inventions that easily break, and so on. eventually, the big war happens. he’s there by luke’s side the whole time. he watches ethan and luke die. he realizes then when he’s not even acknowledged by his dying brother figure that he meant nothing to him. that whole time he’d been used. he truly was just a replacement for someone else all along, one that could be cast aside once the original showed their face. worst of all is the consequences of his actions. the gods were angry and wanted someone to punish. luke was dead and kronos was gone, he was all that was left. well, their were many other demigods left but they were all mere soldiers. leo was special. leo was dangerous. leo’s inventions, which luke promised wouldn’t be used to harm, only to incapacitate, had been altered and used to kill. the gods decided to curse him. goody two shoes percy tried to object but leo told him to fuck off and mind his own business. leo left the experience brother figure less, a curse that made it so no mortal nor child of the greek gods would love him (since he helped luke out of love), and a scar thanks to percy jackson (since the two of them had a scuffle during the fighting)

leo left the world of gods and monsters behind. he just wanted to be a normal kid. he wanted a bland, mundane life where he could hopefully do some good to undo the horrors he committed, even if he didn’t intentionally do them and thought he was doing the right thing. however, a certain ex babysitter had other plans. now, his trip to the grand canyon was ruined, his best friend had amnesia, his coach was gone, and annabeth chase was back and seemed to think leo had something to do with the disappearance of her boyfriend.

yeah, that’s basically all i had planned. i was just planning to write a fic about the moments in between hoo with flashbacks to his time with luke (and also rewrites of hoo to fit the au) but ehhh. can’t do it so it just lives in my head sometimes

there was going to be a lot of like healing from trauma, coping with guilt and survivors guilt, platonic love, found family, and even some valgrace (cause i’m predictable) but… welp

so i decided just to ramble on tumblr lol

[pain-is-too-tired]

BLOOD/ICHOR TW

Last days of Sparta, follow Him down to meet Apollo And he'll brace for battle in the night He'll fight because he knows he cannot hide He's never gonna make it, all the Poor people he's forsaken, karma Is always gonna chase him for his lies It's just a game of waiting from the Church steeple down to Satan karma There's really no escape until he dies

Outrunning Karma by Alec Benjamin

I know shocker shocker another angst art for them.

I do stand by that Luke should receive some punishment/consequences for his actions. But I also don't want it be something the gods inflict, because Luke's choices hurt other demigods more than the gods( main reason he shouldn't be forgiven immediately-)

So, Lee/image of Lee taking over that role just seems fitting. He was one of the first camper deaths.

Retribution and acknowledgement of mortal guilt is also something Apollo is often connected to. As well as protection of youth.

Lee is the son of the god who rained plague on the Greeks for the taking of one of his priest's daughter, in many versions assisted in the death of Achilles for the death of one or more of his sons. Slaughtered Cyclops more ancient then his own father out of anger and grief of lost of another son.

Absolutely Lee's gonna make sure Luke fully understand the effects of what he's done.

[snailvibes]

Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

What’s the average word count of your fics?

- usually I find writing endings the easiest!! I love coming up with the way I’m gonna conclude my stories and it’s always like, the most satisfying figuring it out lol

HARDEST on the other hand…. Grrrrrr writing fic beginnings my beloathed

- people always tell me I’m really good at writing emotional scenes so I’ve grown to be really proud of that :,)

- it used to be 1k words which astounds me because nowadays my average word count can usually range from 5k to 9k LMAO

[small-spark-of-light]

just some old Velda doodles :)

[littol-bun]

i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.

like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?

but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!

i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡⁠ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾

ouggghh im not little anymore but (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:

like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.

but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽‍🤝‍👩🏾 i got ya lil sis