#but i want to change it before i start applying to colleges and also im going on an abroad trip for next year (unless something happens)
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s-ccaam-era-crepe · 7 months ago
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in the process of legally changing my name ? 👍
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h0neybane · 5 months ago
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ZVA worldbuilding
just some world building for my ghibli-inspired-twst school, zephyr valley academy! this'll all be in a similar order to the one of the wiki page for night raven college
enrollment:
you can definitely apply to get in but i do think some students are handpicked for different reasons!
i think one of the best parts of ghibli films are the walking shots. moments in which characters are just walking to their next destination and you get to see the environment and detailing in the background... i think hayao miyazaki called them something, but i cant remember what it is.
the reason i bring this up is because i think when students are enrolled in ZVA, since the academy is in such a remote and rural area, they're dropped off at a certain point and then have to travel on foot to the building for the entrance ceremony. i dont think it's a long walk by any means: maybe like 30 minutes max and that's pushing it.
but i do think there are a lot of sights the students get to see while walking there. mountainsides, fields, lakes, undisturbed by society.. it's a very peaceful place. i also think maybe the walk should be timed with the sunrise? just cus its cool
during the entrance ceremony each student will receive a broach with their magestone, in which the color matches their dorm (link in next point!)
i mentioned this in my original uniform post, but also during the entrance ceremony, incoming first years recieve an enchanted leaf laurel and boa (shown here) that doesn't have any flowers. throughout their time at the academy, flowers representing them will sprout from the leaves. here's a timeline of the progression of the flowers:
first year: pretty much empty at the start of the year. little sprouts may begin to grow throughout their first year, and most have 2-5 small flowers. especially exceptional students may already have one or two bigger flower buds
second year: more sprouts start to grow, lots of wild variants; i think the second year is where students begin to experiment a little. by the end of the year, most have bigger flowers waiting to bloom. some exceptional students will have fully bloomed flowers already
third year: big flower buds begin to bloom throughout the year. many have grown a lot as mages over their time. by the end of the year, third year students will have rows of flowers around their shoulders and head.
fourth year: fully bloomed. students enter internships and graduate :]
ALSO the boa and laurel change colors with the seasons until it goes into full bloom where its enchanted to always be healthy and bloomed
i think itd make sense for ZVA to have a large (at least larger than usual) fae population considering how nature-connected it is...
ZVA is a co-ed school!!! both girls and boys attend!!!
history:
i feel like ZVA is younger than NRC and RSA but not by very much! where NRC and RSA are 500 years old (i'm saying 500 for simplicity sake; according to the wiki, it's AT LEAST 500), ZVA would probably be 400-300 years old.
here are the figures each dorm is based on, in no particular order (some of these are undecided and will be added later!)
the wizard of ingary (howl from howl's moving castle)
totoro
i cant decided between kaonashi (no face) or haku for spirited away... maybe i'll do a special case where the dorm itself is split into two?
undecided (ponyo)
undecided but im considering doing an offshoot dorm/group based around that boar thing from the start of the movie.. (princess mononoke)
castle in the sky (undecided)
undecided (kiki's delivery service... it might just be kiki but i need to watch the movie before i decide)
i dont have any values for them for now (like how heartslabyul is based on queen of hearts and her severity, savanaclaw is based on king of beasts and tenacity, etc) but i think ill come up with them after some watching...
i also want to add traces of other movies that arent dorms! maybe in events or classes? speaking of events...
traditions and events:
VDC/SDC is definitely one of them! i think they get pretty far in the competition for the cute peaceful vibes but then i think they get beat out by nrc and rsa LOL
interdorm magift/spelldrive: i dont think theyre like SUPER GOOD but also i do think they've won a couple of times
i mentioned this as a serencor (howl dorm) tradition but wouldnt it be so cute if there was a hat-making event honoring sophie... LIKE IMAGINING HOWL MAKING IT A THING JUST FOR HER... AUGUHGJHGJ
halloween: i think itd be interesting if some of the creepier stuff from ghibli films popped up here (say, no face/kaonashi and the boar worm god thing from princess mononoke)
something spirited away related. i DONT KNOW WHAT but its spirited away related.
reputation:
ZVA is known for its nature and being super duper peaceful!! it has a really good reputation among the public and its up there with RSA and NRC!
but at the same time i think itd be so funny if some of the other magic schools made fun of them for being hippies or something LMFAO
uniforms: (i WILL draw all these ideas i PROMISE)
i already did the normal school uniform (here) but i do think there are variations to it for summer and winter! like NRC, ZVA provides a winter coat and has an alternate summer uniform (it's pretty much just the same but short silk socks instead of stockings or kneesocks and short sleeved shirts)
ceremonial robes: i have no idea yet but im so excited to design them... im thinking going in the direction of a kimono or yukata as a homage to ghibli being based in japan
pe uniform: im sorry but nrc's PE uniforms are so. ugly. i think maybe a t-shirt and some shorts + socks? classic
labwear: pretty much the same as nrc's tbh. lab safety is important chat (IM LOOKING AT YOU 90% OF TWST CAST. PUT YOUR FUCKIN HAIR UP)
that's all i have for now! but i will make another one continuing on this tomorrow probably! as always, feel free to give me input!
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back2bluesidex · 2 months ago
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Idk if this is something you’d want to read but after reading your post about being lonely, i definitely feel the same way 😅 albeit probably a little different. I dont really have anyone to talk to about this feeling so i thought maybe i’d share this. I just started a seasonal job in retail at 22, ive never had a “real job” because since i was 14 i was considered the “family babysitter” & once i turned 16 i kept applying for jobs so i didnt have to keep babysitting, nothing worked out because i was always met with “you need more experience “ & i kept getting that until i was 20 (when i just gave up & accepted I’ll probably be a babysitter for family/family friends forever 🥲). Ive only really been surrounded by kids & family, my mom took me out of highschool in my 1st year because she hated the public school system & decided to “homeschool” (which was go get my ged at 18), so i never got to experience the highschool life & friends, i was pretty isolated. Aside from getting rejected from jobs constantly, i wasnt able to go to college after either because it was too much money & that “nobody would be at home watching kids”. So ive just constantly felt very alone & whenever i would mention it i was met with things like “dont be selfish. you should be thankful youre not out there in the world, it’s evil” etc etc. Along with the fact i dont know how to drive, i had a huge fear whenever i was 15/16 so i never learned then but when i was 18 i didnt have that anymore & wanted to. I was constantly trying to get people to teach me, but no one would and driving school costs a ton which i didnt have bc no paying job. That added on to that feeling & i kept feeling behind
So fast forward to now at 22, i was finally able to get a seasonal job at victorias secret and nov 4 was my first training day. I still have that feeling & now im just stressed about everything. They immediately put me on cash register & very vaguely explained things to me, so i wasnt the best when trying to check people out & i know in retail you’ll get horrible customers sometimes and that’s literally all i got. I was so overwhelmed & i did accidentally mess up someone’s change (which was fixed!) so i had them screaming at me 2 hours in my first training day. And i cant stop thinking about how inadequate i felt during that & that whole day really. I would get judgmental looks from the other workers when i would ask questions, because ive never done anything like this before. I kept getting looked at like i was stupid for not knowing things & that messed with me (still is). I dont think itll be like that entire time im there, im hoping at least.
And i still dont know how to drive, i tried once this year from my older sister but she started grabbing the wheel when i was trying to drive because she panicked (i was going in a straight line in a empty parking lot) & stated she’s never trying to teach me again. My younger cousins learned how, have their license and new cars already & i hate that i feel jealous and angry about it because it is family, but everyone who helped them constantly told me they couldn’t with me year ago & still now. I get subtle remarks of “your cousins can drive already/youre 22 & relying on others to drive you” etc. (they also all have jobs already & not a seasonal one like me) But yeah, i feel so alone & inadequate at literally everything, have for years. Breakdown all the time because i have no clue on what to do & i have no one to talk to about it.
Rant over, sorry for how long it is, im probably being dramatic too, there are people who have it worse than i do 😅 but yeah, i get that feeling! I do hope you feel better better about it 🫶🏻🤎
Don't say sorry! It's alright. Rather I am glad that you found me and my blog safe enough to share your troubles with.
and let me tell you that you are just 22. You still have a whole lot of time ahead to make money, to learn driving, to make friends, to enjoy life and do everything you want to do.
Don't ever think you are late or that time is slipping away from your clutches! It's not.
I am 25 and I can't even cook. Can you believe it? a 25 year old woman who can't even fry an egg properly while cooking is a basic survival skill? my friends can make a whole feast if they want to and I only know how to boil some instant noodles. At times this made me feel like an inferior too but no, none of us are inferior to one another because what I can't do - you can and what you can't do - I can. we are all lacking and it's okay.
Also, if those people made you feel like a fool just because they didn't train you properly then it's their fault, not yours. when you start working you need to learn one thing that is to make you skin thick. It's only you who needs to know the truth - that it's not your fault - and the rest of the world can go fuck off.
and what if you did some mistakes? we all are allowed to do so. mistakes are the only way we get to learn, isn't it?
So, please, darling. Cheer up! You have a ton of time to buy that car or get that job or tell people to fuck off when they ask you to watch their kids. Things aren't over yet. You are doing good. You will do even better tomorrow and one day you will be the best! I believe in you and I am proud of you!
even though I know we are basically strangers but just know this person right here, an elder sister to you, will always be proud of you no matter what!
if you want to talk, slide into my inbox any time. I will always welcome you!
Love you!! 💕💕💕💕
P.S: You should have charged for those babysitting sessions.
P.S.S: I, too, don't know how to drive. LMAO!
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bright-eyed · 2 months ago
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So I was freaking out the other night because i had like an awkward 30 minute conversation at the bar with my favorite old professor. She told me that i was a good writer, and asked me why i wasn’t writing. I was just like “idk, i’m watching youtube.” (I didn’t exactly say it like that, but basically.) Then she was like “why are you doing that?” and i didn’t know why.
I felt so overcome with guilt/shame/regret. But also i felt like a piece of shit because idk how i will ever be able to make myself change or overcome this fear of failure/ego death and do better with my life. It’s stopped me from trying for so much of what i want since i was like a little kid—and the thought of not being able to stop myself from giving up before i even start makes me viscerally hate myself… I feel immature and weak for finding it so difficult to do anything more than what I’m already doing. And I hate where I am! And i know i could do other things and be much happier.
But I also know I should probably give myself grace because for years I was working my way out of deep depression, and i did it on my own, and that was its own accomplishment even if it might mean I’m a little behind on accomplishing like ambitions or dreams. I guess? For so long i just had to be focused on not dying or blowing up my own life that i couldn’t focus on that, and i guess i’m still in the mindset of assuming it’s impossible to do more than get through the day, or at least im not practiced in that.
But i’m so phenomenally frustrated with myself that it makes me feel sick and trapped in my own body. The entire world is weighing down on me—all of the things I feel like i need to do and be, all at once, all the time. It feels like I am utterly unequipped to have dreams, so instead of me fulfilling my dreams, they haunt me instead
I guess part of me also resents that i never had any real support. When i was talking about how i only ever really applied to one college, and only did that because it had an easy and cheap application process, Professor asked me why my parents never pushed me to apply for more—she seems to be under the very mistaken impression that i could have gotten into a lot of colleges—and i just told her they just didn’t really involve themselves in my life very much, especially when i was a teenager. Until I said that I’d never even realized that it might be weird for your parents to not push you to apply for colleges, or even really know anything about your life or school experience or ambitions or anything. I just got so angry
And that feels like such a big thing that i’ve had this huge blind spot for this whole time, like why didn’t (and don’t) my parents care ? Where would i be if they had (or did)? Would i feel more empowered and confident enough to try new things, or was i just born weaker than most people? Will i ever know?
What if im not inherently this way but i still can’t undo the damage years of failing and being failed has done to me? Does it even matter if i’m not doomed by nature if i never manage to escape it anyway?
I started writing this post the other night and then ended up talking to my best friend on the phone for two hours which helped. But I'm going to need to transform this frustration with myself into action sooner rather than later because I can't keep living like this and I know on some level it would be so easy to. You know how the time will pass anyways.
Thinking about how much time ive already lost and how much time i might or might not have left to lose makes me feel already halfway dead. I know this resembles a grave but isn’t, but i might stay here long enough to make it one. I keep misstepping back into it. I keep crawling back in and pulling the lid back over to block out the light because I can’t bear it I feel like this is turning too poetic but i can’t explain how i feel in anything but images i guess. I just wish I could be different without having to do the work to change because I don’t trust myself to change. I wish I could be perfect because it’s the only way I feel like I’ll be okay. It’s dumb but idk that’s how I feel
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sugar-omi · 4 months ago
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since we talking college, as a senior who just finished my last first week of class: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK FAFSA
they fucked up my shit this year I didn’t get my tuition in until the week before classes started and ik ppl who got fucked over worse 😭
it’s deadass IMPERATIVE to stay on top of that shit and they been changing things so the system is so not user friendly so keep up to date everyone!
also some of my biggest regrets r not doing work studies or internships throughout and not talking to my advisor more often so if anyone wants to learn from my mistakes pls do! getting experience is soso important !!!
-🗑️
yesss all that!!! also im so sorry you had trouble w your tuition, you got this soilder, the war is almost over!!!
I'm planning to do a work study or internship, n my school does send out offer emails for that stuff n post campus job listing.
also, ask the stupid or "stupid" questions. not that I'm really taking my advice on that LOL but if you have a question about your financial aid or anything, just ask. better to ask and know but look silly, than not ask.
n again, let's see how much I put this into practice, but if you wanna make friends, or put yourself out there, whatever. you cannot be any more cringy than freshmen already are by default
you're fresh(ish) out of high school, you're shy, whatever. just be weird and somehow you'll end up with a few friends :,)
that's exactly how i made all my friends in junior high/middle school. I think back on it n I was the weirdest fucking kid ever but somehow ppl had crushes on me and wanted to be my friend even after I opened my mouth. so. just channel your inner 12 year old n everything follows somehow
(again. im. a hypocrite so.... I'll let yall know if im applying my advice on that)
MAYBE THAT SOUNDS HARSH BUT... Thats how I'm reasoning with myself. I cannot be any more of a cringefail than I am right now 😁👍
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minalblood · 1 year ago
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Ep 10... oh boy theres a lot to say with this one.
We begin with a nice twist. The woman needing help is Akrida and the victim is the other woman who's stopped to help. Since I've recently been reminded of it, this set up instantly made me think of Sam.meeting Cole for the 1st time, but in that the one flatlined actually needed help.
The Akrida committed to the acting I see.
God the actresses did such a good job raising the tension
LOVE seeing Millie do more handywork around. We dont have nearly enough of her getting into machinery
Mary and John hating being left to research is funny af to me.
Congrats Mary for getting into college and I like that John is actually happy for her, even ribbing her a bit. Love that dynamic actualy.
"Normal life will have to wait another day" thay cut deep fellas ngl. Mainly because i would argue its exactly what Sam and Dean told themselves to put off actually getting to do anything they wanted. And we have this exact sentiment echoed 5 min later by Carlos for why they need to break up with Anton (cant afford to with the fate of the world on their shoulders). The fact that both of these are accompanied by Dean's monologue about hunting and happy endings? Very very relevant to Dean and the life he led. But more importantly, the "how far will I go to get it" echoes back a few.more things amd makes it almost ominous. We'll come back to this when we meet Mr Sheffield (i dont remmeber the characters name rn, will use it later when they say it) since the dark meaning to Dean's words is highlighted by his story.
This might be the most clear indication of who Carlos was before the Winchesters, the version Samuel was mentioning when talking about them a few ep ago. The lone wolf version, the impulsive one, the not getting close to ppl one. Im very happy they've changed, i think they're happier like this.
Oh noooo, I forgot we have Roxy here 🥲 this'll hurt.
John and Mary see a tea set and alphabetized books out: now thats truly disturbing behaviour
John and Mary any other time: eh, thats normal
I live for the chaotic pair these 2 make together
Why tf does he still have the key if they threw him.out of the MOL? Then again, considering the many issues with the MOL, this is only a mildly annoying thing.
Ah yes, hunters are apes commentary, ffs what even started this bullshit feud between hunters and MOL?? It was there on Samuel's side too, and we even see Henry go with that particular opinion...
Sooo, either Jack was really the one experimenting on monsters or that actually was Hobbes' job, regardless we know what that turned into - not just the various bodyguards that our scooby gang has encoutered thus far, but the more insidious uses too like the monsters Cuthbert Sinclaire reprogramms or the manipulation of Mrs Butters or even Mary's own brainwashing. Safe to say all this send my mind to Naomi and how heaven has a very similar approach to keeping their angels in check. Fitting then that it's the Winchester side of the family that is MOL legacy with the Campbell side being the hunters family qho tends to go for a more straightforward will just eliminate the threat vibe (more hell aligned u could say). "A lobotomy makes most monsters subservient *wink*" he says and I cannot not be filled with revulsion on multiple layers. Including the actual issue with lobotomies generally and how their extended "use" was due to a fraud profitting off of people... yeaaaa all the red flags with Jack/Porter here. But also in general it goes back to the type of MOL we have in SPN, the exact kind that JAck/Porter is are the ones still alive, who have very little actual care of who they harm in their scientific pursuit.
Clear alarm bells sounding when askes about Henry, he has a very clear tell.
Hint hint nudge nudge about Jack/Porters lack of family
You know the thing that actually annoys me about people like Jack/Porter? The fact that if he'd applied his knowledge to actually get ppl depossessed he could've actually done something helpful, that would save ppl, but nope, instead he focused everything into his fixation and inability of letting go. To everyones detriment.
Well, Roxy's motel room reminds me of several times we've seen Dean in similar places... especially after the Mark got bad.
Roxy breaks my heart. Everytime.
And we have another instance of possession being portrayed as the violation it actually is. SPN had a few moments of showing this, most notably with Sam and Lucifer, but we've rarely had such an indepth showing of exactly how someone no longer possessed is coping. The only other ones I can remember clearly delving into are Jeffrey in s7 and Nick in s14, but in both those cases, Jeffrey and Nick were more akin toa depiction of Stockholm Syndrome or at the very least a dependence had been created having been possessed so long. Which is in itself a bit problematic a message to send tbh, but Roxy meanwhile is the opposite. Not only does she not want the Akrida back, she actively is trying to deny it ever having happened initially and she def doesnt want to be reminded of it.
Ironic that it's Carlos who says the forgetting isnt working for Roxy... considering
I also adore the parallel made between Jack/Porter and Lata in this episode? Like they both have that scientific curiosity that can become really dangerous (as seen with Jack) but unlike Jack, Lata actually wants to help people so she uses what she knows (just as much a type of brainwashing technique as Jack/Porters lobotomy fyi) to offer someone help. But! Lata asks for Roxy's consent and is upfront, where Jack/Porter is lying and manipulating and taking foe himself.
Mary's instant red flag reading of Jack/Porter for the win, but she should've listened to her instincts faster. She believes next to nothing of his words. I love her so much.
I love the round table Arkida scene... its so much fun to watch. Ironic that the Akrida call hunters pests... also yay Dean!
The fact that Jack/Porter is so so pissed off is his own downfall tbh. The bitter comments fucked up his facade.
Tonyyyyy yessss. Also Lata and Tony yaaay
I love how absolutely huge gossip queens both Lata and Carlos are.
I also love Carlos' little notepad during the scene with Roxy.
The description of her possession is way to visceral fuck I fogot how hard to watch this was. And how much it echoes to asault. Not even echoes tbh considering we have a clearer scene relating to sexual assault when Jack/Porter tries to have Dorothea possess Mary so thw comparison of possession to assault is very much there this episode.
Wonder if Jack Wilcox defected to the Brits in SPN? And began what would later be Lady Bevell's expertise? The fact that he even put on a British accent def is meant to remind us of Bevell and the Brits.
God Mary and John are obvious af that they suspect shit ... ffs kids!
Carlos continues to be the one that actually uncovers key info.
Aww, Carlos and Lata are so so kind and comforting with Roxy. I love them so much.
Im so proud of Roxy, but what I genuinely love about how the ep was written is that even if she'd have gone along with the erasing of her memory, it still would've been a valid way for her to move on. Like this it obviously works two fold in somewhat convincing Carlos they also should take a leap of faith that alls gonna be well with Anton, but its set up in such a way that regardless of Roxy's choice at the end, Roxy's own wellbeing was all that mattered however that looked. I can appreciate the nareative not ramming a specific interpretation down our throats.
Ah, yes, wartime decisions excusing the means... it nearly never actually applies tho, Jack. Tho I will say it's very satisfying having it be said to John who in SPN would use this exact rethoric for a while slew of shitty choices.
Now I wont get into the whole issue with the golem being used in this ep and specifically how they kill the golem - others have said far more better informed stuff on it (shoutout to @endofthebookpod fantastic episode discussion) and I do have a plethora of issues with it - what I do wanna say on the subject tho is that at leasr insofar as Jack is concerned it makes sense that he'd steal and use a golem for his own benefit (similar to how the nazi did in 8x13). The actual problem with this is how the writers chose to tackle dealing with the golem here. Because ultimately the golem is used as a weapon by Jack, just as all his lobotomised monsters were. But the ep chosing to not clarify a few things and deciding to burn the golem??? Not good fellas, not fucking good at all.
I do appreciate John's resilience in fighting the golem tho.
Like I said, the sexual assault parallel to possession is even more clear when discussion Mary's possession.
Gruesome death for Jack tho, I will say.
"Things we do for love"?!?! John Winchester I will murder you! If Mary doesnt do it first for u even suggesting that. I do apprwciate still seeing glimpses of SPN!John even now, 10 ep into it. Because for all that people can change, its very very hard to do so and its a slow process.
Thank you Mary for shutting it down immediately. High hopes that this low key promise they made here spells good things for their future. I do hope.
I also love that Lata explains why Roxy wanting to erase her traumatic memories isnt the same as Carlos avoiding dealing with his intimacy issues. But I also love that Carlos feels safe actually confiding in Lata, for all that they banter and shit talk they're each others person.
Perfect timing on the Tragic Haircut lady. Also yea, it def is a tragic haircut.
Noooo, Akrida!Kyle is here. Using Johns past against him is smart but also i need to read that file.
I will say, I never read Millie at the end as believing that John did anything like Ive seen in a couple of other places mentioned. I just saw it as her being a. Shocked about a dead body b. Shocked about John holding a dead body and c. The police being on her heels with john holding a dead body.
But that's all for today folks. Next up, ep 11. Slowly but surely making it through the show.
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dspdick · 9 months ago
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hello everyone. i hope you have some snacks on you because i have yet another thing to rant about. fortunately it isn’t about the bunch of idiots i have the misfortune of calling classmates, instead it’s the cursed place where i chose to continue my education. let’s yell about university.
for starters, i would like to point out that this is an expensive university. like. 900€/month expensive. i get to pay almost half of it because i have a discount due to my high school grades, but you have to keep it up during your stay in college and once it’s taken away you can’t ask for it again.
given the exorbitant price every single of its students is paying, you would think that my class would be in a decent building. wrong. we’re in a prefabricated shitty three-story building in the other side of campus from our labs. because medicine students have their own simulation clinics and the business students get a bajillion brick buildings but fuck the genetics kids amiright?
speaking of labs. the installations are cool and all but the materials need a serious upgrade. I CANT DO A PROPER GEL ELECTROPHORESIS IF THE MICROPIPETTE DOES THE EQUIVALENT OF A DRIVING NEWBIE WITH A MANUAL CAR. also the ph-meters are the bane of my existence and me the bane of theirs.
also. the lab practices are four hours long. which wouldn’t be too bad if they didn’t make us start them at three or four pm when we’ve been in classes from eight or ten am. yes i spend close to twelve hours on campus on lab weeks yes they also pretend that we have time to study.
BY THE WAY. OH MY GOD. studying. i know it’s necessary. but i have EIGHT SUBJECTS THIS SEMESTER. EIGHT. students in other universities have less subjects per year. one of them is a lab subject and we have a fuckin. oral and practical exam. ITS A LAB SUBJECT?? WHY DO I HAVE TO LEARN THE PROCEDURES AND WHY EVERYTHING IS DONE PLUS DO A NiCE LaB nOTeBoOk. SUCK MY DICK.
that and the fact that i not only have science subjects but also philosophy, communication and fucking BUSINESS. yes they’re useful but i frankly haven’t seen a subject with a worse organization than my philosophy class. and on top of that my business teacher just keeps sending projects and questions. maam your class is worth three credits. be grateful i do an effort to get out of bed and spend two and a half bitchass hours to listen to you yap about ip and business life cycles at eight thirty in the morning on a friday.
and now that i mention this, i still can’t believe we’ll have to do 50 mandatory hours of volunteer work next year. yay for volunteer work, i’ve done before and it’s amazing. but you can’t expect someone who spends 10+ hours in college regularly to do the same amount of time as people who only have 3 to 4 hours of class per day.
the worst part of all is the fact that our degree supervisor just expects us to act like phd students or some shit. she literally told to the class presidents that “we can’t expect to have compromises and extracurriculars outside of university. we have to focus on our college life”. this is our first year. i don’t even want to think about how we’ll be treated from now on.
and i guess this is why im so scared. i like genetics. love it, even, when applied to things i enjoy and not a clinical environment. but i want to live my life and be able to truly rest and enjoy and not want to kill myself constantly over the amount of workload that we have to deal with.
i don’t know if i’m going to drop out or keep going but all my options are bleak. either i continue and somehow survive college enough time to get my degree without having killed myself, or i drop out. and from there i have more options. a) immediately switching to a different college and/or undergrad, b) taking an off year and changing my undergrad.
i don’t even know what i’m going to do. i’m exhausted on all the levels a human can be tired and i have no idea if i have it in me to keep going or just take the easy out.
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eyepatchdate · 1 year ago
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that job post has me thinking like. god im so relieved im at where i am right now. i had a feeling while working on my education degree and having a lot of field experience that i may not actually want to work in the field. i was cautious. i considered changing my major to journalism (or a few other things) but ultimately didn't because i didn't want to get trapped in college forever + was on a scholarship tied to my degree + was double majoring (which I knew would look good in the future). so i didn't change my major and kept working, got through my student teaching (which was. a fucking nightmare era of my life jesus christ. if i wasn't already hesitating on this, like, student teaching was a 100% certainty moment for me).
then once i was out i took a gap year to recollect my sanity after student teaching, and i also moved out (i was able to do both of these things thanks to my money from my military training. 25+ weeks of pay that i didn't spend added up to enough for me to do those things).
and THEN i started job hunting for the 'boring office job' concept that i had first considered swapping my plans to in college. i started retail part time while i kept up my other job hunting, landed a sort of crappy job but one that paid a little better and wasn't too terrible. got laid off from that one so started hunting again as soon as they announced the layoffs, got lucky with a company i had been planning to apply for a job at in a few years or so anyways (wanted more general experience under my belt, but layoffs prevented that). got the job right before covid, and while i technically work at another company now, that's still the job i have. 100% work from home now, doing the same stuff, and it's mostly writing emails/scheduling payments/reviewing ledgers/etc.
it pays well and doesn't follow me after work hours, the timing is flexible and i can write or do some gaming on the clock because i tend towards bursts of productivity where i do a lot in an hour then sort of chill for a bit before doing more. i stay on top of my responsibilities so i have a lot of wiggle room since i'm not behind on anything (i only get behind when we swap regions up and i get assigned states that prior analysts didn't properly keep clean, lol, but even then a few weeks of dedicated work gets that shit down easy).
idk man. i'm just rambling about my life, this is stuff i think about a lot, because by god i am thankful things went this direction. even if i do lose this job, i am pretty comfortable in this field now so i feel that i could search within this field to find work that would suit me. i'm getting paid more than i ever would as a teacher or anything else, i have so much flexibility, and i'm even closing on a house (today!).
i still have a lot of worries, i need to save up money again (house deposit) and pay back my parents (house deposit). and i still have huge student loans i'm working on paying that eat up a lot of my monthly income, but im so excited to be paying towards a mortgage instead of rent, and someday my loans will be paid off
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insomnaticwriter · 2 years ago
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you said you had some stories about your ex you really wanted to tell? (if you’re comfortable with that, ofc- feel free to ignore this)
Edit: THIS IS LONG AS FUCK IM SO SORRY- don’t read unless you want trauma(?) dumping about my ex :) this was a straight up therapy session, I broke all the “don’t trauma dump on the internet” rule. I apologize. Still posting it tho. Good luck :)
👀 which ex- the one I was talking about was my most recent, our relationship lasted a year and a half, we met online and met about 8 months or so in our relationship maybe less, I saw her twice in a matter of a year and a half, both for a week at a time I stayed at her house on whatever break I had available at the time, I think it was fall break and winter. SO NOW THAT BACKGROUND IS OVER.
She had a HUGE issue with me going to school- like any time I talked about it she was mad, any time I talked about wanting to go to college she would try and convince me not to go saying it was useless and it would be idiotic to go because education doesn’t matter because you die either way. We didn’t have many issues (at least ones that were brought up at the time we dated) but this was one of them. Just… me going to school. When I would try talking about it she said VERBATIM “don’t talk about school it makes me sad.” Because she dropped out.
Another was me working. I started worked at 16 and I’m 18 now. 17 when we broke up. I started working and applying to jobs when we were dating, this was when we started to have issues. I’d text her at work, I’d call at school but it never seemed to be enough, she needed to have all of my time or it wasn’t enough. It was getting to the point when I would literally count the minutes of the day I had alone. I still remember. 10 in the morning, 7 when I walked to work, if she didn’t call, and maybe 15 minutes before she called when I got home. This wouldn’t of been an issue but whenever I wanted to go to a school event or work an extra hour or just go out with friends it became a fight and I isolated myself so bad that my friends legitimately held a literal intervention. Sat me down and told me something had to change because I wasn’t my self anymore.
The next thing was therapy. She had.. issues which I won’t share on the internet but they were major and she needed help, something I couldn’t provide her, that I was probably too young to handle at the time, honestly anyone would be too young to handle, including her. Anyway 💅🏻 there were always two sides, I didn’t have it bad enough to need therapy and I shouldn’t go and that she needed it for years and never got it and I just got it when I asked for it OR that I was bipolar and impulsive,m and “crazy” when I did stuff like dye my hair or hang out with friends.
Lol this is long as fuck I’m sorry-
When I tried to tell her that I was gender whatever the fuck I am. Basically tried telling her I wanted to buy a binder and she told me as soon as the words left my mouth that she just couldn’t handle that and it was too much for her.
There was other things like this, like I was expected to handle everything she threw at me and basically got into trouble when I couldn’t handle her breakdowns or mental issues and tried my best but didn’t know what to do, but she always told me my depression or anxiety was nothing and there was no reason for me to have them. And when she told me I didn’t have enough trauma, and then I told her more, she said it was too upsetting to hear.
Also I’m 99% sure she cheated on me. She definitely emotionally cheated on me but I think she also slept with someone else.
WHICH IS JUST A WHOLE OTHER STORY, should I tell it? Hmmmm? Ask me if you want me to share it idc I will. No filter. Not one.
She slept with someone else 12 hours after we broke up and then called me crying about how this other girl didn’t like her and how bipolar she must be because “how can you sleep with someone but not like them.” And how much she liked her and then I asked why the hell she was talking to me about this when we had JUST broken up. We broke up, I went to bed, got to work and she called me doing this- it was weird. She also stayed at her house for two or three days before this happened 🫠
Some other stuff that didn’t bother me as much is that she smoked and did drugs, she’s actually the one who introduced me to weed. But she did it in excess, like every 30 minutes she would get high, every few hours she would smoke a cigarette, every other night she would drink. Her and her friends would get smashed. She was 16-18 when I knew her.
ALSO WE WATCHED YOUNG ROYALS TOGETHER AFTER WE BROKE UP, I WATCHED IT LIKE FIVE TIMES BEFORE THAT BUT WE LIKED IT TOGETHER AND I HATE THAT.
she also texted me 6 months after we broke up saying I was a dumb bitch.
The funny part is my first girlfriend, my other ex, WAY WORSE 🥴
I have some wild ass hookup stories too. I’m bored and willing to share everything on the internet so WHY NOT-
I feel as if you were probably looking for fun light hearted stories- sorry anon! I think I have some if I look hard enough in my file cabinet brain!
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virmillion · 7 months ago
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rambling to self bc i have a pen but no paper
anyway so the thing where you say “ok now set x equal to twelve” and the kid starts typing the Words “set x…” and you have to correct them to type “x = 12”, whether that’s an artifact of language in general or just a missed translation of the literal phrase
like it might be to do with age, kids start to extrapolate what you mean better and understand alternate phrasings (set x equal to, update x’s value, change x to be, et al). versus when they’re younger, maybe they take it more literally?
or it might not be related to age at all, or at least not completely
- could be due to neurodivergence, if the kid takes everything literally bc of how their brain is wired
- could be that they’re thinking of coding languages as equivalent to spoken languages, sort of how a new learner from english to spanish translates things directly, eg confusion over las vacaciones just being vacation in general
- could be based on home situations, maybe their parents are the type to mean things very literally when they say it, so it’s what the kid is used to? (which would then extend to where the parent gets that from, depending how many layers back it goes)
anyway just generally whether the acquisition of languages is comparable with coding vs spoken languages, not to mention sign language? obviously if a kid starts learning coding younger then it’ll be easier if/when they do it in college, but is it the same advantage a kid would have learning a ‘standard’ second language young? i want to say i’ve seen it be that learning a new language is easier the younger you are, but would that apply to coding languages? even outside the matter of syntax and stuff, since of course you wouldn’t have the typing verbatim words “set x equal” problem when working in scratch. scratch might be comparable to kids using building letter blocks, grabbing each letter and placing it where it goes to form a word? it’s more complicated, since they’re also learning about logic (loops, if statements, broadcasting, movement), but it feels tangential to the unus annus spelling game video
then you might also have to worry about the fact that, similar to how there’s multiple Standard Languages, there’s multiple coding languages, where each of those has their own basic building blocks (usually)
standard languages typically have verbs, nouns, pronouns, infinitives, tenses, et al
coding languages typically have functions, variables, operations, im sure there’s more i’m forgetting, et al
and obviously there’s edge cases, like how that one languages doesn’t have any numbers, and how there’s no native string functionality in C (i think, it’s been a minute since i took that class)
but the same way a kid learning spanish is not the same as a kid learning german, a kid learning python is not the same as a kid learning java. obviously python and java use the same Standard Language, but their syntax and such is different. versus the standard languages, at least with spanish/german you’re still going to be working with the same set of alphabetical characters (plus ñ, ß, accents, ���), but it’s the construction and order that differs
eg in standard languages, you might have to worry about if the adjective goes before or after the noun, which extends to the lovely little old green dragon issue in english. in coding languages, python lets you just say “x = 17” and then two lines later say “x = ‘bootypants’”, and it’s fine. in C++, you have to declare x as an int first, and then it’s an int forever
new tangent but it’s a lot harder to just casually learn coding in your down time. you typically need either a huge textbook or an interactive tech device, and usually it’s learned through practice (either specific instructions or general guiding along making whatever you want), at least in my experience. with standard languages, you can really just do that however you want - find books for basically any grade/age, listen to podcasts, watch shows and movies, …
the closest equivalent to that is watching/hearing people talk ABOUT coding, but that’s usually more about quirks and pros and cons of a given language or syntax, and less about actually learning the language itself.
then also the matter of how there’s usually at least three components to standard languages - listening, speaking, and reading. then additional necessities, eg expression and gestures (obviously more significant in sign language) and indirect phrases (sarcasm, metaphors) that are more nuanced
that’s all i’ve got for now i think, tbd if i rb this post or just make a new one every time i have a thought but im gonna give it an organizational tag just in case ✌️🫶
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paging-possum · 1 year ago
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DISCLAIMER THIS UPDATE WAS WRITTEN ENTIRELY AT 3AM
Coming live to you all from finals season! It hasn’t actually been that bad thus far, just very long and tedious on account of the fact that I’m an art major. The pro is that most of my finals will be done before actual finals week meaning that I get to rest while my STEM friends suffer! The con is that I’m ALSO a science major so I’ll have to suffer a little with them. The third, more sinister (positive) thing is that my only science class this semester is human bio and I learned half that stuff last year anyways so I won’t actually be struggling LMAO. Anyways. My comic. 
Got another very big burst of motivation this week because of my 3D class actually! I’ve been coming to the realization that I spend so much time meticulously planning things that it scares me out of just. Going and getting them done. The solution? Just jump right into it without worrying about it! So, instead of trying to power through the script before letting myself draw anything (which is the main thing I really want to get to right now), I’ve started thumbnailing the first scene since it’s the most solid part of the story so far and least subject to major changes! I recently edited it to fix up Lyssa’s conversation with Terry and cut out a couple characters who I didn’t think were necessary to the story, so it should be pretty smooth sailing to actually make those pages. It’s a much more exciting thing to work on in addition to working out some of the later plot threads- and it gives me a better idea of how long the comic will be in total. I was hoping to keep this one under 100 pages and it’s looking bleak given that the first scene is 25 pages (I AM TRYING TO CUT IT DOWN AND YET IT STILL LOOKS BLEAK) (I might just be underestimating how much I can fit on one page so we'll see) thumbnails
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There are MANY other projects happening this week. I have finals for 3 of my classes! All of them are art classes! My 2D final is a puppet about rabies so that feels pertinent to this comic! I also did some secret santa work (hi CAPE crew)(also applied to the dndads winter exchange just for funsies) and finished a hat, and somehow managed to get the wrong knitting needles three times and then send the right set of knitting needles to my house instead of my college address so the future of this sweater is a little in the balance but I’m also gods specialest little boy and capable of anything I put my mind to and also JUST realized that I can make incredibly strong instant coffee in the microwave in my dorm instead of having to go out and spend money on it which is financially saving me but forever dooming my body. I did that at 7pm. mistake .I think Im’ doing other stuff but its 3am and i cannot for the life of me remember. 
I REMEMBEREDB my friend who i mentioned in the first one of these PUBLISHED THE GAME SHE WAS WORKING ON!! AND YOU CAN PLAY IT NOW!!!! AND YOU SHOULD!!! https://fish-games.itch.io/value 
WHAT HAVE I BEEN LISTENING TO THIS WEEK:
Things We Lost in the Fire by Bastille
Angus, the Prize-Winning Hog by The Toxhards
Spider Dance by Toby Fox
Spiderwebs by No Doubt
Running with the Wolves by AURORA
The Poppy Wars by R.F Kuang (not a song, but a very good audiobook! Enjoying it so far!)
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cursestothemoon · 2 years ago
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With Cable-knit Sweaters and Freshly Pressed Levis
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Genre: ANGST some fluff
Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: You're going off to college and Steve starts to feel a little insecure about where his life is going resulting in him saying something he regrets. Robin talks some sense into him.
A/N: this is lightly edited, i just really wanted to get it out to you guys soon. also the end is heavily inspired by Say Anything, also writing it felt absolutely ridiculous and goofy im sorry.
Word count: 5700+
Warnings: it gets a little steamy in a small part, nothing serious, some cursing
The leaves crunched under the barely worn in rubber soles of Steve Harrington’s Nike Cortez, it was the first fall season since he had graduated high school. Truthfully, Steve felt his feelings were a bit jumbled, while his high school career was momentous he welcomed graduation with a bittersweet heart, Steve felt almost sad- almost longing- for a time when his biggest problem was passing Mrs. Wilson’s math class, or whether he’d see you passing in the halls on his way to English or not. 
God, he was absolutely smitten with you back then. Still is, in fact. 
Everything about you made Steve’s breath catch in his throat and stomach erupt in butterflies. When he officially asked you to be his girlfriend, during a classic Steve Harrington movie date, he joked that he’d have eternally sweaty palms because you made him so nervous, so jittery. The memory alone, the image of pulling up in front of your house and you coming out of the door wearing that pretty dress, with your hair curled just right around your face, had his palms starting to get clammy as he pulled out the keys from his pocket. 
It took a bit of elbow grease, some jiggling of the key in the lock to finally get the deadbolt to slide over, effectively unlocking the door to Family Video. Steve was in no rush to open this morning, just as long as he clocked in on time (which he did) he could saunter around fixing things here and there making sure it all looked neat and orderly, knowing that even on his days off, Keith was bound to make an appearance at some point to nitpick and complain. 
Unfortunately for Steve, his tidying up only lasted so long before he was planted behind the counter, chin resting in his palm, arm propped up on the counter. He was tempted to start counting seconds until Robin had to clock in. Today was the first Friday since school had started back up, meaning Robin had to change her availability to after school shifts only. 
School now was a bit of a sore subject for Steve. 
Sure on the social ladder, Steve Harrington was on the tippy top, but popularity doesn't get you into college… turns out neither does barely passing grades. While he often muttered sly remarks or witty jokes at the expense of Hawkins High School’s notorious repeat senior, Steve wasn’t too far from repeating senior year himself. Really, the only reason he was able to pass his classes by the skin of his teeth was you. 
You, who he had the stupidest crush on. 
You, who was never in any of his classes because you were almost an entire year ahead all throughout the four years of school. 
You, who was bribed to tutor him for his math class, a class you had passed the semester prior. 
You, who was packing to go to some big name school on the east coast, a school that if he even tried to apply to, would laugh in his face after using his transcripts as coasters. 
Steve loves you, he’s sure he has loved you ever since the first time he saw you back in the eighth grade during the only class he had ever shared with you- mandatory P.E, and he’s certain you love him. Why else would you touch him so gently, kiss him so passionately, if not because you love him. But then again Steve, at one point in his life, was certain he’d be in college by now, proudly wearing a sweatshirt with the name of some hoity toity college plastered across the chest while you praised him for being so smart, so cool, so unbelievably talented and driven. 
Things change, plans change, people change. 
You were going to the hoity toity school, wearing the college sweater… and he was working at Family Video and had a stack of rejection letters thick enough to be used as a mattress if he ever needed it. Steve knew you'd never hold it against him, never in a million years would you make him feel bad about being an immature teenager, you were just perfect like that and right about now it was making Steve feel worse about himself. 
The new school, new campus, new people would present you with so many opportunities, and Steve wasn’t naive to this. It was like a whole new world of job opportunities, learning opportunities, and even opportunities dressed in cable knit sweaters with freshly pressed Levis, hair cut short and presentable to fit in with the other lawyers, doctors, businessmen and other hotshot collegiate bachelors. This wasn’t to say Steve didn’t trust you, he trusted you with his life and Dustin’s, but it was the guilt that was eating away at him. The guilt that he was keeping you away from what you wanted, what you deserved- the hotshot, hoity toity college men that wore Ralph Lauren to Tuesday evening class. Steve felt guilty because he felt as though he was keeping you from being with someone who deserves you more than he did. He had voiced these concerns, very subtly of course, in the past and you were quick to disagree.
But things change, plans change, people change, and maybe that includes you changing as well. 
The bright ringing of the phone brought Steve out of his spiraling negativity, he shook his head quickly before reaching under the counter to answer the call.
“Family Video, you’ve got Steve on the line.” He greeted with the mandatory opener Keith made him memorize his first week. 
A familiar giggle flitted through the receiver making his heart dance in his chest.
“Y/n…” He drawled knowingly. 
“Morning Stevie, how’s work?” You asked, Steve could hear your smile through your tone- his mood immediately brightening. 
He shrugged, putting the phone between his jaw and shoulder, “Oh you know, some drama here, mystery there.”
Steve waits to hear you laugh at his corny joke before continuing, “Honestly, not as busy as you'd think a video store would be at,” He paused to look down at his watch for the time. “10:30 am on a Friday. I mean I was expecting hoards of people to come in through those doors, but not a single soul. Can you believe that, pretty girl?”
You laughed again, and if he closed his eyes he could almost picture the flustered look you'd get when he called you by that pet name. 
“Well Steve, maybe you’re just super intimidating- you're scaring off the customers.”
“Oh yeah, this green vest I’m sporting really screams scary and intimidating.” 
Steve smiles as he hears you chuckle again, “What’s got you in such a good mood?”
“Nothing really, I just finished packing- everything is ready to go… To be honest, I think it's more of a nervous laugh.” You start to trail off.
“Oh so my jokes weren’t actually landing, yeah, alright that’s cool. No, I’m not hurt or anything it’s fine-”
You playfully cut him off with a groan of his name.
He chuckles before getting a bit more serious, “What’s got my pretty girl nervous giggling then, huh?”
The line goes silent for a moment, worrying Steve and making him think this was more serious then you had let on.
“So you know how I’m supposed to drive up to Princeton towards the end of next month to start classes?”
Steve hummed in agreement. 
“Well, I got a call from the Dean today, she said a spot opened up in the program I had wanted to join- remember the one I got waitlisted for then told to reapply next year because all the spots were filled? Well, turns out someone dropped it and the spot opened up.”
Your infectious excitement bled through the phone, making Steve’s bones tingle with happy adrenaline.
“Oh baby, that’s great! I’m so happy for you.” He cooed into the phone, knowing how devastating it was for you when you found out you wouldn't be getting into the program you wanted to. 
You cleared your throat, a nervous tick you have, “Thank you, Stevie, but- um- the thing is…I’m leaving on Wednesday. I know, I know, it’s such short notice and I’m so glad I decided to pack everything early because what were we going to do if I hadn’t and-”
Steve stood with the phone pressed to his face shell shocked. You were leaving on Wednesday, only five days from now. He felt his whole world come crumbling down to his feet, every insecurity and guilt ridden thought coming to the forefront of his mind. At least when he knew you were leaving a month from now, he still had time to push his feelings away, ignore them until it was absolutely impossible. Truthfully, he didn’t know what to feel, what to do or say, or even what to think. He was incredibly, painfully overwhelmed, and he was almost certain you had caught onto his unresponsiveness by the way you kept repeating his name.
“...Steve? Are you still there?” You spoke softly into the phone, hoping the call hadn’t dropped.
“I’m here.” He croaked out, barely.
You let out a breath of relief, “Oh thank god, thought the call dropped for a seco-”
“Y/N, are you sure about this?” He asked in a single, labored breath.
“Yeah, I’m sure. This has been my dream since the seventh grade, of course I want-”
Steve shook his head, “No. Are you sure about this… about us… and the distance?”
“Stevie, baby,” Your voice was soft, comforting. “I am one hundred and ten percent sure about us. I love you, Steve, no amount of miles is going to change that.”
The line was silent again, a heavy silence that made your skin crawl and goosebumps break out the back of Steve’s neck. A silence that makes you feel self conscious, forcing you to continue speaking.
“Unless… unless you-”
His mouth seemed to move faster than his brain and he finally knows what a terrible burden it must be for Robin to be cursed with the lack of a filter as he blurts out, “I don’t- I don’t think I am.”
“Oh.”
A single syllable. One word (he doubted he could even call it a word), had Steve screwing his eyes shut in regret. 
I don’t think I am.
What possessed him to say something so definite, so damning, so unchangeable? Of course he was sure about your relationship, knowing it would withstand an asteroid hit if it came to it, yet here he was- Steve Harrington, absolute blackhole coming in to destroy the sound foundation you two had built over the last eight months with just one phrase, I don't think I am.
“It’s just I’ve been thinking… a lot… and you’re moving to a whole new city with whole new people…”
God Steve just shut up, his brain begged.
“A lot of new…opportunities.”
“Opportunities?” You questioned.
Steve shut up.
“Yeah, opportunities…people. Maybe I’m not what's best for you anymore.”
“Steve, you’re perfect for me, what are you talking about? I want you, Steve, not any new…opportunity.”
Shut up, Steve.
“Well maybe,”
For the love of god.
“I don’t want…”
Just think about this Steve.
“Steve?” You sounded so broken, so hurt, yet your tone didn't even register in Steve’s mind until it was too late.
“Maybe I don't want you to…want me… anymore.”
Hook, line, and sinker. 
There was that silence again before you let out a humorless laugh.
“Oh my god, Harrington, are you breaking up with me over the phone at work?”
The last time you called him Harrington, you had just been told that you were being forced to tutor him in math. 
Steve shut his eyes again, trying to figure out a way to rewind time and figure out how he royally just fucked everything up. 
“Listen, if you wanted to be single again and open to your own new opportunities, all you had to do was say that. No need to make yourself seem like some hero, selflessly allowing me to be with other people.”
“No you don’t-”
You cut him off, anger clear even through the shitty phone at Family Video, “No, I do get it. You're not up for the long distance thing, it’s cool. Honestly, I should've expected it- but then again I should feel lucky that King Steve even allowed me to date him for a few months, right?”
Steve felt a lump starting to form in his throat, his stomach dropping to his knees at the mention of his douchey high school persona.
“No, Y/N, I just…” He paused, all words evading him rendering him absolutely unable to fix the situation. 
You let out a breath, speaking slowly and carefully, your voice tired, “I’m leaving on Wednesday, Steve. If I don’t see you before I leave…I hope you find someone you want to want you.”
“Y/N-”
“Bye, Steve.”
The line went silent, only this time it was an empty silencing ringing through Steve’s ears.  
___
The bell on top of the door jingled. Steve couldn’t see who walked in, the patterned carpet seemed to have his complete attention. 
“...Earth to Dingus?” 
Robin. 
Was it really 3:30pm already? 
Did he take his lunch? He had to have, right? 
Steve honestly can’t remember, and he’s not sure how its been hours since that stupid phonecall but he’s sure it has been because Robin is here. Robin’s shift starts at 3:30, so that means it’s 3:30.
“Hey, Rob.”
Robin looked at Steve quizzically. Never once in all her years of knowing Steve has he ever sounded so dim, dull, and…boring. Sure he’s spoken about things she truly had no interest in, but his cadence and tone was always dancing around excitedly, his words and gestures animated. Robin thinks of a word that could describe his state, quickly landing on empty. Steve looked and sounded unnaturally empty today. 
“Steve? I know we haven’t really been friends for that long, granted I do believe fighting evil Russians together might make us closer than normal friends and you know a lot more about me than most people…you know with the whole…girl situation, anyway we haven't been friends for that long but I think something is wrong with you and it’s really freaking me out and my mom says I ramble when I’m nervous which I'm pretty sure im doing now but I’ve never seen you like this and really what I’m trying to say is what’s wrong with you…well, I mean it in like an ‘are you okay’ way, not like a mean ‘oh my god what is wrong with you’.”
Robin took a breath, Steve seemed to get more zoned out the more she talked which made her more nervous, making her ramble even more until she decided to force herself to close her mouth and focus on her friend's answer. 
“I’m cool.”
She shook her head, “No, actually, you’re not.”
“...as a cucumber.”
The statement made Robin panic more, her legs moving on instinct toward the phone that was conveniently placed on the opposite side of the counter from Steve.
“Alright, fine. You’re freaking me out, so I’m just gonna call Y/N and she can come-”
Steve seemed to move at lightning speed grabbing the handset of the phone from Robin’s hand and cradling it to his chest. Robin’s eyes widened in shock, slowly trailing up from the deathgrip he had on the phone to the look of pleading painted across Steve’s features, he looked near tears. 
“Please…don’t call her.” 
Over the next hour Steve filled Robin in on the phone call, word for reciting the entirety to her seeing as it had been seared into his brain after all. He then spent the hour after that unpacking all of his insecurities for his friend to understand why he did what he did. Everything from his dad, to his barely average grades, and the stupid boys who probably wear Ralph Lauren and have good relationships with their filthy rich parents, and will most probably see you and fall in love with you’re smile and witty charm the same he did. The same way he, Steve Harrington, stupid boy with wealthy parents and an ego to go along with everything fell in love with you. 
He knows it’ll happen because it happened to him. 
“...Okay, so maybe this isn't the best situation you could be in. But! But, it could be salvageable.”
Steve huffed, “Robin you weren’t there, you didn’t hear it. It’s not like I told her I was just done with the relationship, I said I didn't want her to want me anymore, basically just rejecting her love and saying I don't want her anymore. There is no coming back from this, an- and maybe it's for the best, you know?”
Robin looked dumbstruck, “Uh, no, no I don’t know.”
“She's going to Princeton, Rob. Princeton. Do you know how people get into schools like Princeton?” Steve asked incredulously before lifting his hand and counting on his fingers. “One, you either have to be really smart, and I mean like really really smart, so they want you to come to make them look better. They would do anything for these people to come to their school, grants, scholarships you name it. And do you know the second and final way of getting into a school like Princeton? Having a ridiculously stupid amount of money. So much money it’s coming out of your ass, and even then the people with money aren’t dumb. They won't just bring on anyone who can afford it, they still have a grade point average I couldn’t even achieve in my dreams.”
“...And?”
Steve huffed, frustrated that Robin clearly wasn't getting his point, “And she’s going to go there, surrounded by rich, smart, and probably good looking guys- men, surrounded by these rich men, and they are going to take one look at her and see exactly what I saw… the total love of my life.”
The room went silent as Robin looked at him sadly, Steve still looking down in thought before speaking up again.
“And she’s gonna say no to that?” He whispered, more to himself. “For what? Some guy who couldn;t even get into college? Some guy who works at the local Family Video?”
“Steve…”
Steve shook his head, sniffling as he held up his hand to her, “No, Robin. I won’t- I won’t let her throw her whole life away for me. I’m not going anywhere, I’m not good enough to go anywhere. I was born in Hawkins and I’ll probably die here too.” Steve let out a humorless laugh, “It’s not even a guarantee I’ll be able to grow old with her…not with how things have been going. It’s better if she gets away from here, if she gets away from me.”
Robin could feel her heart breaking as her friend, her best friend, spoke with such a sad conviction in his voice. 
“Steve…that girl loves you. Look, I’m not the best at this whole relationship thing- trust me I know- but her heart beats for you. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people as in love as you and Y/n. I understand you're worried about her, and I understand that you think  there are other people out there that are better for her, bu- but that's her decision in the end and maybe in some weird, man way you are trying to protect your own heart by pushing her away first but god Steve both of you will be miserable without each other. She loves you and you love her, and at the end of the day she knows the risks that come with loving you and it's her decision to love you. You think these guys are better for her than you but that's because you don’t see her the way she sees you. If that makes sense. You don’t see the way she looks at you with so much love and passion and something else that I can't name because I’ve never felt what she feels when she looks at you. Steve, in her eyes you’re it. You are the sun, and the moon, and everything beautiful. Just because you can't see it doesn mean she doesn't.”
Robin huffed out the last sentence, very clearly out of breath as Steve just stared at her stunned. She didn’t know where all that came from, deep down thinking maybe it was lingering jealousy she used to feel when she’d see the way you looked at Steve, or maybe the fact that Steve had the perfect person right in front of him, in his arms, and he was going to throw it all away because he couldn’t see just how much she loved him. 
Whatever it was, her long, awkwardly flowing ramble seemed to ignite a fire in Steve. He ran to the backroom before coming back out, jacket in hand. He tugged off his green vest in a rush, nearly getting tangled in the clothing piece. 
“Robin…you’re a genius.” He breathed out before turning to the door. 
Robin shook her head as she watched him jog toward the glass doors before skidding to a stop and turning on his heels, only to run back over to the counter. He leaned over the desk, grabbing Robin by the cheeks and planting a thankful kiss to her forehead.
“Thank you.” He smiled. 
She made a face, moving to wipe off his kiss from her forehead with a scrunched nose. 
“Whatever Dingus just don’t mess this up, yeah?”
Steve yelled back, already halfway to the door, “Yeah, and if Keith comes by cover for me!”
Robin shook her head as she slowly walked toward the glass door, watching Steve run into his car almost hitting his head in the process before speeding away. 
It took a few seconds of watching Steve’s car disappear down the road before her eyes shifted toward the sign on the door, the blank white placard was facing her and she could only chuckle as she realized what was on the other side, facing out- ‘Out to Lunch’.
Steve did go to lunch…only he forgot to turn the sign back around. 
Robin flips the sign and walks back to the desk, her question of why everything had been so quiet answered. 
The bare walls of your room brought more tears to your eyes. Every poster, picture, and keepsake now tucked away into boxes, leaving the once busy walls desolate and eerie. You never understood it before, when people talked about how off putting it was to see everything you own packed up into boxes but now as you stood surrounded by four plain walls and at least ten cardboard boxes of varying sizes it was the most surreal feeling in the world. It was just a room, just things, yet you didn't like that you couldn't see them now that they sat in boxes, you couldn’t see yourself in this room anymore. It was just a room. 
Your emotions had been up and down ever since the phone call earlier in the day. A break up was the last thing you were expecting when you picked up the phone to call your boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, Steve. You had cried about that for most of the day, took a break once in a while to nurse your headache from crying, then you’d be reminded of Steve somehow and start the process all over again. 
The scuff mark on the wall near the door.
“So this is my room. We can study here, it’ll be a lot quieter.” You explained, opening the clean, white door to your room.
Steve walked in just behind you, eyes focused on the way your hair fell perfectly behind you and how with every step he’d get a whiff of your perfume. Something floral, maybe some vanilla? He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knew he’d remember it for the rest of his life. 
“Alright so I’ve already made flashcards, why don't we just start with figuring out your strengths and weaknesses.” You spoke, pulling notebooks out of your bag that rested on the edge of your bed. Steve hummed in response, turning to look at the pictures you had on the wall near your door.
There were pictures of you and your friends, of animals he assumed were pets, and some of just family and friends. One picture in particular stole his attention, it was a small polaroid of you and another girl smiling up at the camera, you had cake on your face and the mystery girl held up a single pointer finger that had the same cake on it. You looked radiant and Steve had half the mind to steal the picture and keep it for himself.
“What are you looking at?” You questioned, suddenly very close to him. He could tell, your perfume smelled stronger.
He pointed up to the picture, head turning toward you while his eyes stayed in the same spot as before, “You know…you're supposed to eat the cake. Not wear it.”
You chuckled, “It was my sixteenth birthday, my cousin smeared the cake on my face. Come on, we need to study.”
Steve nodded, now turning to look at you. He had a charming smile on his face, a smile far too suave for it to be a casual coincidence, Steve knew exactly how to use that smile.
“Ok… let's study.” Steve said in a low voice, side stepping to be standing in front of you, he rested his palms against the wall behind your head and had both arms extended fully as he looked down at you.
You took an instinctive step back, starting to get butterflies, only your shoe hit the wall and scuffed the paint.
“This has nothing to do with math, Steve.” You whispered looking up at him.
He shook his head, a smile pulling at his lips, a genuine smile. Unlike the charming one he had on before, this one felt special, it was the type of smile you'd give to someone after having just whispered a secret to them.
“No, but,” Steve moved his hand slowly, thumb coming to run over the side of your jaw before resting just below your bottom lip on your chin. “...you’re really pretty and I won’t be able to focus on anything you say if you keep looking at me like this. Honestly, Y/n, it’s kinda your fault we won’t be able to get any work done.”
You rolled your eyes, a grin fighting its way onto your face, “Oh, it’s my fault now?”
“Mhm,” Steve hummed, stepping closer. “Your fault, and I think the only way I’ll be able to focus, and I mean really focus, is if you agree to go out with me. This Friday. Ice cream at the little shop by school.” He bargained, thumb starting to gently caress your skin.
You pretend to think about it for a moment, “Fine. But we really have to study. I don’t go on dates with guys who don't pass senior year.”
Steve smiled ear to ear as he leaned in closer, lips almost on yours.
“Perfect.” He started to move the rest of the way but you put your finger against his lips stopping him.
“Save your moves for the date, Harrington.”
Next your eyes moved to the door knob on your closet door.
“Come on, Steve, we have to be quiet.” You pleaded with your intoxicated boyfriend.
Steve seemed to be finding anything and everything absolutely hilarious in his drunk state, giggling so loud you worried he'd wake the entire neighborhood up.
“I’m trying, baby.” He giggled again, each syllable elongated. 
You huffed, finally getting him sitting on the bed so you could remove his button up shirt for a more comfortable t-shirt. 
“Stay here, I’m going to the closet to grab your shirt. Don't move.” You explained before turning toward the closet and opening the door. 
As you dug through your clothes looking for the pile of Steve’s shirts you always kept at your house, somehow the newly graduated boy forgot all of the instructions he was once given and stood up to start walking to you- only with his beer goggles on, it was a wonder he could stay upright at all. You heard a few stumbles then a thud against your closet door.
“Fuck, ow!” He cursed, making you shoot up and shove your hand over his mouth.
You listened to make sure you didn't hear your parents voices, signaling that they've awoken or any coming footsteps. Once the coast was clear you turned back to a wide eyed Steve who still had your hand over his mouth. Slowly you moved your hand and he pouted.
“I tripped and banged my hip on the doorknob.” He explained.
“Aww you poor thing.” You half teased as you moved to look at his hip that was already turning red. “You’re gonna bruise, Stevie.”
He grumbled, “I know, I bruise like a damn peach.”
You smiled softly at that memory before your eyes moved to your window. 
The bed squeaked under the weight of both you and Steve. He held your waist as you sat on his lap, lips locked in a heated kiss. You let out a breath as he moved his lips down to the column of your neck, leaving multiple hickies you’d deal with later. His hands ran up and down your hips to the upper side of your thighs, squeezing and grabbing anywhere he felt the need. 
You let your hands run through his thick hair, tugging just enough to get him to buck his hips up into you making you let out a surprised moan.
“We gotta be quiet, Princess, can;t have your parents walking in on their little girl making a mess on my lap.” Steve reprimanded, making you let out another whimper.
He tsked, “What did I just say?”
You kissed down his neck, biting every so often before responding, “My parents aren't home, Stevie, it’s just us until tomorrow afternoon.”
“...Oh, great, so I could’ve used the front door.”
Moving on from Steve Harrington will be hard, you can feel it. He was, is, the love of your life and you doubt anyone else could fill that whole in your heart, he took that chunk with him. 
There was a quiet hum outside your closed window, but you paid no mind to it as you continued to reminisce on what could've been with Steve. 
If you thought about it hard enough you could still feel his hands on your skin, his lips against yours, his breath on your neck. You could still smell his cologne mixed with a scent that was totally and completely him. Worst of all, if you really closed your eyes and focused, you could hear him, his voice talking to you like nothing had changed, like he still loved you.
And maybe that could be enough, you'd be able to go your whole life dancing with his ghost, happy that you at least had that because some people- the ones not lucky enough to know Steve Harrington, really know him- didn't even have that. 
You picked at your nails, letting the tears fall as you thought about how everything had come to such an abrupt end. It hadn’t even felt like an end before the phone call, you’d just move for a few years then come back. You’d always come back, but now Hawkins was losing its appeal. 
Unfortunately, you didn't have the luxury of dwelling on the thought too long, the quiet hum outside had turned into a muffled blare. You debated on whether or not to open your window and yell at whoever was making that noise for disrupting your pity party, but decided against it.
That is until you heard the soft bounce of something hitting your window. You walked over quickly, opening up the window and sticking your head out only to be hit on the forehead with what you can assume was a balled up sock. 
“Oh thank god, I thought the socks wouldn’t work.” A click signaled the boombox being turned off. 
Your eyes nearly fell out of your head with how wide they opened, “Steve? What are you doing?”
“I’m an idiot.” He huffed, looking up at you. “I panicked, I’m not good for you, Y/n, I’m not and I panicked and thought that you going off to college and leaving this tiny town meant that you would start thinking that too. I thought I wouldn’t be able to survive a heartbreak from you, I mean it would literally kill me, so I had to be the one to break it off- before, before you could. And-”
“Steve,” You tried to interrupt.
He put his hand out stopping you and shaking his head, “No, no, I need to get this out. I know that was shitty of me. Major asshole move, and I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted someone else after today but I just want you to know that I want you, Y/n. I’ll always want you. And I’d rather have you break my heart than not have you at all. You told me to find someone that I wanted to want me, right?”
Steve’s voice got louder and hoarser as he spoke, tears freely falling down his face by now. You were no different, almost half your body hanging out of the window at this point trying to get as close to him as you could. You nodded silently, waiting, hoping he’d say what you wanted him to say next.
“Well, baby, I already have. I want you to want me. Even when you're thousands of miles away, surrounded by rich wannabe doctors and lawyers, I need you to need me.”
Before you could respond, Steve bent down and picked up his boombox again clicking play. The blaring noise turning into a song, making you laugh through your thick stream of tears. 
‘I Want You to Want Me’ by Cheap Trick no doubt waking up everyone in the neighborhood. 
You laughed again as he held it up over his head, eyes staring right into your as he gave you a teary eyed, toothy grin at just how ridiculous he must seem right now. 
“You’re right,” You yelled over the music. “You are an idiot, Steve Harrington.”
Wiping your tears you continued, “But you’re mine, Stevie.”
tags:
@lyn07
@milkiane
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inahallucination · 2 years ago
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au where todd and jeff get into a really big fight over the summer before jeff’s senior year
it probably starts off with something really small, an offhand comment from jeff about todd not caring that jeff’s about to start applying to colleges, or maybe an offhand remark about how todd never hangs out with jeff anymore
and todd just loses it, getting angrier and angrier as he reminds jeff that todd isn’t the one who decided that jeff wasn’t good enough to hang out with him and todd wasn’t the one who listened to his brother be belittled by their parents and turn around and tell todd that he should do better other than comforting him
and jeff’s just standing there, and it’s like his whole world view has just changed because he’s honestly never actually thought of all of this from todd’s perspective. he doesn’t think that todd’s not good enough or anything like that, but he’s never realized that thats how it’s translated over
he had honestly gotten so caught up with pleasing his parents, going to school, keeping up with the extracurriculars that he hadnt gotten around to approaching todd first, and he never dismissed todd when todd approached him because he didn’t want to hang out but he was always busy. he supposed he could have explained that to todd a bit better
and it’s not like he thinks todd isn’t amazing, but he hates how their parents yell at him so he tries to encourage todd to try harder, but he sees how not reassuring todd that he’s great the way that he is can translate. and wow he’s really fucked this all up
anyway
jeff tries to explain himself, and todd (heart of gold, deep desire to be loved that causes him to forgive rlly easily) agrees to try and fix their relationship
come fall, jeff convinces his parents to let todd come visit him when he can
in the mean time they call and write letters, and its all horribly awkward but their trying and that means everything 
obviously jeff’s a senior at fucking welton, so its not like he’s rolling in free time but he’s also the golden child of welton that years after the school will use as an example and claim that they ‘made’ him
anyway
they write letters, have brief phone calls, and jeff convinces his parents that seeing welton will encourage todd to try to make it to welton
//
for neil its a completely normal day - waking up, classes, looking forward to the weekend, listening to charlie’s wild wild plans for the weekend that wont happen, hanging out with knox, meeks, and pitts, waiting for cameron to be done with his work so he’ll hang out with them (work first, fun later - cameron)
and then
and then he’s sitting outside, the summer heat hasn’t left yet, and the poets are all chatting, pretending to work (aside from cameron who’s sitting a little farther away, actually working) when some upper classman yells out
“excuse me ?” the call is so quiet, neil would think he’d imagined it if he hadn’t looked up to see a boy around his age (blond hair, head down a little, avoiding eye contact, still the prettiest person neil had seen) it takes him a moment to snap out of it
“hey, what’s up ?” he asks going for casual, his voice a little pitched. charlie snorts next to him, neil ignores him
“um, my brother uh, um.” neil gets up to move a little closer to the boy in an effort to get him to look less like he wants to dig a hole and die
“yeah ?” he asks, quieter, sending his friends attentions away with a look, the boys cheeks turn pink when he glances at him, but doesn’t hold eye contact
“my um- my brother, he um, he said to meet um at the courtyard, but uh, he’s really bad at um giving direc-directions so im a little um”
“lost?” the boy nods “well just tell me who ur brother is, and we can find him together” a pause “im neil, by the way. Neil perry.”
“todd anderson” todd replies and neil wonders why he feels like he should know it just as todd continues “my brother’s jeff anderson”
“jeff- of the jeffrey anderson” todd grimaces but nods
“wow i didn't know he had a brother” neil says and its the worst thing to say because todd’s face looks even more closed off and he shifts uncomfortably and theres a siren in neil’s mind thats screeching for him to do damage control so he can somehow win some sort of affection from the pretty boy “pr-probably because you’re such a cutie and he doesn’t want ppl to stare at his younger brother hahah” he wants to throw himself off a bridge because what the fuck did he jsut say
todd for his part stares at him wide eyed, red cheeked, and a little bit like he’s considering running away
“um so jeff, lets go ?” neil says even more awkwardly. todd nods hurriedly and the two start walking and the entire time todd isn’t saying anything but neil is rambling and its honestly embarrassing
they finally find jeff and todd and neil say goodbye to each other and neil thinks ‘wow i rlly just embarrassed myself in front of the cute guy’ and tries to not think about it
sometimes, after todd has left, he thinks he can feel jeffrey glaring at him but its probably in his head
//
jeffrey anderson was having a good day, an amazing day, a wonderful day, waiting for his baby brother, who he had recently made amends with, to come to campus so the two could hang out
if today turned out good, he was gonna try to convince nolan to let todd stay a whole weekend (since jeffrey didnt have a roommate)
until of course neil fucking perry showed up
jeff had nothing against neil, was even thankful that he’d helped his brother, until he noticed todd staring at neil’s back as neil left
until he asked todd what was up and he glanced at where neil had gone and blushed
jeff didn’t want todd to be in a relationship (the kid was like 5) but he didn’t want todd to pine (and be miserable - todd was an overthinker) but if neil rejected todd, jeff thought he might just kill him
//
todd is there again the next friday
jeff sees him standing near the entrance awkwardly trying not to look too awkward
“hey todd ! did we plan on meeting today ?” he calls out, feeling awful for forgetting but honestly not being able to remember them agreeing to meet up
todd looks at him, cheeks turning pink “um no we didn’t plan on um”
“so whats up ? is everything okay ?” he walks closer , trying to see if he can see if anythings off. todd turns pinker, jeff wonders if he’s sick
“i um i have a date”
“... a date?”
“yeah um-”
“todd ! you’re here !” perry yells out, jogging over. he greets jeff with a friendly wave and politely doesn’t point out jeff’s dumbfounded look
jeff wants to protest (”todd ur like 5″) but todd looks excited and nervous (but not in the usual, i wanna die way) so jeff forces his lips to curl up into a polite smile, tho the look todd shoots him shows he’s not all that successful and waves at them as they both head out to their date, and fills his brain with plans to keep an eye on neil and plans on what to do if neil fucks up 
//
yeah theres no coherent plot, its just shit happening
im feeling to lazy to tag my taglist sorry guys
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tetsuwhore · 4 years ago
Text
𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨, 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮, 𝐆𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐢)
Description: general NSFW headcanons with Kuroo, Osamu and Goshiki
Pairings: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader, Miya Osamu x Reader, Goshiki Tsutomu x Reader
Warning: explicit nsfw (duh), mentions corruption kink and degradation
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he’d likely be into having friends with benefits arrangements - Kuroo enjoys the casual nature of the sex, and is very much capable of keeping his emotions in check so he doesn’t develop romantic feelings
though, he’d prefer it being with someone he’s actually good friends with rather than a mere acquaintance or a random hookup, simply because that’d make him feel more comfortable
this dude would probably text them to come over, do the Do™️, and then end up getting some takeout afterwards while they just chill and watch a movie or something lmao
Kuroo will frustrate you to no end - trailing his fingers just near the waistband of your panties, or planting kisses along your inner thighs while deliberately avoiding your core
he’s a tease - it’s just in his nature. he’ll keep up the dirty talk and deny you to the point where it’s maddening 
if you want to cum, you’ll have to either a) beg hard enough until he’s satisfied, or b) pull his head to your core and grind your hips into his face. he loves when you toss out all inhibitions and shamelessly decide to take matters into your own hands
when he wants to really mess with you, he’ll start grinding into you while you’re in his lap during a makeout session. he’ll make you ride his thigh and simply chuckle, doing a fat load of nothing when you whine about how it’s not enough stimulation to get you to cum
definitely uses sex as a form of stress relief. not only is he the Nekoma volleyball team captain, he’s also in college prep classes - a whole lotta stress equates to a whole lotta sex
for instance, say you’re studying together for an exam and he’s getting restless after having sat at a desk for hours. he’ll lead you to the bed, fuck you senseless to the point where you’re teary-eyed, kiss your forehead after you’re both satisfied, and then get right tf back to his textbook lmao
since you both have such tight schedules, there will be a lot of quickies. storage closet quickie, study session quickie, late night before a game quickie.
still, he’ll feel bad because he knows it’s not as satisfying or intimate, so when he has more time to spare, he’ll focus completely on spoiling you
Kuroo is a very giving partner in general - he gets off on making you squirm and cry out for him. he’ll seize every opportunity given to go down on you. he doesn’t care if he dislocates his jaw while making you feel good, he’ll ignore the ache and keep going until you’re satisfied
he’s an observant one, and will read your body language to learn what you like or dislike. he wants nothing more than to be the partner you need him to be, so he’ll change his approach according to what you respond well to
he notices you squirming more when he’s manhandling and degrading you? he’ll call you a dirty slut and tighten his grip on your hips
he feels your nails dig just a little deeper into his back when he’s being nicer and gentler? he’ll whisper sweet praises about how you’re such a good girl for him
ok im gonna stop now ffsfsfsfs can you tell how hard i simp for him
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Osamu and Atsumu are always being compared to each other, with Atsumu being labelled the ‘wilder one’ and Osamu, the opposite
people who aren’t very familiar with him often make the assumption that he’s squeaky clean, and therefore, pretty vanilla in bed… right?
wrong. 
Osamu is into kink exploration, and is very much interested in discovering the various facets of sex
plus, he gets a little kick out of being so unsuspecting -everytime he’s in public and feels a mild sting from the scratches on his back, he smirks to himself, reveling in the feeling of having this dirty little secret
definitely one with a bit of a corruption kink. he finds it amusing how he’s perceived as a vanilla person, when in actuality, he’s the one who relishes the feeling of taking away someone else’s innocence
he gets such a hard-on for responsive partners, ones who can’t control themselves when they squirm around and whimper sharply at even the lightest touch. it’s a way for him to tell whether he’s doing a good job at pleasing his partner. plus, the little boost to his ego certainly doesn’t hurt
such a sucker for domesticity. there’s just something about watch you move around the house (the house you share with him), doing the laundry or cooking at the stove. it may seem odd, but it turns him on because it simply reiterates the fact that you’re all his
on several occasions, he’s found himself sneaking up behind you and gently wrapping his arms around your waist while you’re doing something. when you turn your head back slightly to smile at him, he’ll lightly press his lips against yours before trailing soft kisses along the back of your neck and shoulders
the moment never remains soft for long - soon, he’ll have his fingers in your panties, rubbing tight circles on your clit while you cling on to his arm for support. he’ll hold you in place all the way until you tense up and reach your orgasm
then this bitch innocently kisses your cheek and leaves like he didn’t just turn your legs into jelly lmao
during arguments, Osamu does have a tendency to get frustrated, and he sometimes gets up in your face, hissing at you over something he disagrees with. the tension in the room, paired with you two being pressed up so close to each other often leads to angry sex
he’ll push you up against a wall and pull you into a vicious kiss that escalates to him thrusting into you at a punishing pace. as the tension dissipates though, he’ll be less rough, going softer on you while whispering apologies and promising that he’d make it up to you
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Goshiki probably gets a little blushy thinking about a lot of people, many of which tend to be strangers that he’s seen from afar and found attractive. he ends up having these little fantasies in his head sometimes - nothing too intense, and he probably wouldn’t even act on them
but while jerking off, his mind tends to… wander, and he begins fantasizing about these little crushes. he always feels bad afterwards, feeling like he was being disrespectful
lmao one time, he even felt compelled to go outright apologize to one of his senpais for having a ‘dream’ about her. she laughed when she deciphered what his stuttering words meant and brushed it off as something that happens to everyone
even if Goshiki’s dating someone by his third year, he may still be pretty nervous when it comes to sex. though, by the time you two actually start becoming sexually active, his drive to be ‘the best’ (yes, even at sex) is simply stronger than his nervousness
at first, you’ll likely suggest mutual masturbation so you can learn how the other likes being touched - he may not be 100% on-board at first, being impatient to jump right in and learn first-hand what you like, but he eventually realizes that it’s a good first step and agrees
he’ll need you to guide him yourself the first few times he touches you. gently grip his hair and guide his mouth where you want him, talk him through how you want him to finger you, give him verbal instructions if you want it “harder”, “slower” or “right there”, etc
as he learns, he’ll pick up on your non-verbal cues as well. he’ll start to observe your body language, or realize how your moans get louder when he does something that you like, and he’ll adapt his technique accordingly
he’s very eager to please in general, and will absolutely apply the saying “practice makes perfect” here, working hard at honing his technique to improve his skills. boy just wants to do his best to make you feel as good as possible
Goshiki always wants to be as close to your face as he can be because he loves hearing your pretty voice right up in his ear. as smug as it makes him, he still can’t help the blush on his face everytime he hears you cry out and whimper for him
for him.
you’ll actually make this boy short circuit if you moan his name while he’s touching you. he’ll tense up for a second, and then immediately go feral, working his tongue or fingers harder until you forget everything else but his name
he’s such a sucker for eating you out - he’s grown addicted to having your thighs wrapped around his head while he’s lapping his tongue at your clit and reveling in the gorgeous sounds of you sobbing his name
now everyone and their grandmother already headcanons this, but c’mon - praise kink. Goshiki fucking devours any praise you throw at him, be it about his physique or skill
it’s a way to boost his ego and bring out the more smug, dom side to him that makes him want to fuck you until you cry
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notnctu · 5 years ago
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through the lens ❀ l.jn
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❀ lee jeno x fem!reader ❀ genre - slow burn, smut/mature content, fluff (romance?), slight angst ❀ details - photographer!jeno, model!reader, college!au, shy!jeno but he aint shy in bed, strangers to fuckers!au ❀ word count - 8k (this is the longest thing ive ever written) ❀ warnings - nude modeling, swearing, oral (f/receiving), some sweet love makin’ ❀ brief synopsis - jeno asks you to model for his internship project, but little did you know, it was going to be a nude photo shoot.  
❝ jeno was too shy to hold eye contact, but he stared at you endlessly through the lens. ❞
❀ a/n - hihihi this is author doie❀ ! im bad at writing smut so pls dont hate me ah ha lol i tried my best i also dont model/do professional photography so really apologize if i butcher any terms lmaoo the only thing i am is that im in college and im shy
Jeno had applied to almost a hundred internships and almost close to none returned with an offer, even after a whole month of waiting. He absolutely needed to start building his portfolio before the beginning of his senior year of college. The embarrassment of possibly graduating without any experience loomed over the desperate boy. 
Photography had been more than a hobby to him, to the point where he wanted to take it seriously. His parents weren’t the most supportive of an Arts major, but that couldn’t stop him. Jeno saw the best through a camera lens. He had a special eye for beautiful moments and the impressing urge to capture it forever. 
It was too late to change his major, if he wanted to graduate with all of his friends. If he wanted to be successful, he had to act on it now. 
The swoosh! of a new email startled the sleeping boy. He stared at the brightly lit screen, reading the words over and over again to make sure it was real. Jeno was so enthralled with excitement that he scrambled out of bed to wake up his roommate, Jaemin.
He shook him so violently that the sheets fell from Jaemin’s warm body. “Dude! I got an internship!” He spoke with incredible glee, a wide smile couldn’t leave his face.
Jaemin groaned and had to hold Jeno by the shoulders to halt the boy from causing the room to spin. “Why--What is going on?” He dazely rubbed his tired eyes to blink at his giddy roommate.
The screen blinded Jaemin as it was shoved too closely to adjust. “Whoa--,” he pushed it away and shut his eyes, “--repeat what you just said one more time.” Jaemin held a finger up and Jeno grabbed it, jumping onto his best friend’s bed.
“I got an internship. Someone got back to me.” Jaemin returned the same excitement the moment he processed his words. He shot up in bed and hugged his friend tightly. 
“Wo-w, dude! Congratulations!” The two boys hurried on their feet to cheer together. There was no concern for the rest of their housemates, only celebration that roared throughout the entire night.
+
Truthfully, Jeno had no recollection of applying to this studio. It could have been a random link on a job scouting website, but he couldn’t be more grateful. An internship was long overdue and Jeno had been itching to get some recognition for his craft. 
“Hello, I’m Lee Jeno.” He bowed slightly at the receptionist, who had a stern stare that made him feel vulnerable. The first thing he noted about the office: white and minimalistic. 
Jeno’s specialty was landscape photography. His aesthetics consisted of black and white filters, city lights, dark mood lighting, and background commotion. He enjoyed capturing chaos the most, a scene where more than one thing was happening. The only reason being that there was more to look at. 
“Nice to meet you. The name is Lee Taemin, but you can call me what you please.” A young, lean man strolled his way towards Jeno with a wide grin and his hand for him to shake. Taemin was slightly shorter than him, but his stylish, expensive boots made up for his height. He had to be only a maximum of five years older than Jeno as Taemin appeared relatively youthful. 
Taemin’s firm grip pulled Jeno along inside the studio. A small gasp escaped from Jeno which earned robust laughter from the older man. “I hope you can break out of your shell soon. There is no room for timidness around here, Mister Lee.”
“Please, you can call me Jeno.” He smiled, quite awkwardly at the beautiful man. 
The tall glass windows, the concrete, gray floor, the white doors that lined the hallway, had to be all too predictable. Jeno envisioned this is what high class must look like. It was the pristine, bright feeling and the smell of vanilla that lingered distastefully. There was chatter behind the closed doors --- mainly directing, and high praises. 
The only off-put was that photographers worked behind closed doors. From the few studios he has visited previously, photographers often worked in open spaces due to lighting fractures or the ability to roam more freely. 
“I’m actually very ecstatic you signed up for the internship, since you do seem a bit on the younger side.” Taemin gestured toward the sofa in the middle of his massive office. Jeno sat across from him. Water was already placed on the glass coffee table that separated the two. A laptop was opened to face Taemin.
Jeno slyly rubbed the condensation from his palms on his jeans. Taemin’s stare bore deep into the shy boy, who had to break eye contact from time to time. “I know.” Jeno chuckled nervously, “thank you for getting back to me. I was really hoping to gain work experience through mentorship.” 
Taemin nodded at everything Jeno was saying. His face being completely expressionless. Jeno sipped his water to regain moisture in his dry throat. Taemin was more intimidating than he was anticipating. “Sounds great. Happy to have you here. It might be a small business, but the experience is worth investing in. Every photographer who has come in and out of my building has found their forte. Let’s say, it’s eye opening.” 
“That’s exactly what I was looking for actually.” As scared as he was of this mysterious man, he really enjoyed the comfort the environment radiated. 
Taemin leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “I noticed in the portfolio you sent that you don’t have any portraits or any people, in general, in your photos. Do you have any works with people? Since this is a studio of fine art nude photography.”
Nude. Jeno practically choked on the last remaining spit he gathered. Taemin acknowledged the boy’s shocked reaction and tilted his head curiously, “you did know that I specialize in contemporary fine art nude photography, right?” Unfortunately, Jeno did not. 
Jeno cleared his throat, “yes, of course. I wanted to challenge myself.” He had to lie, there was no other way to cover up his disbelief. This internship was the only hope left for him to gain something. Though, even the thought of shooting a naked body made him anxious.
He hated how timid he was. His friends and family say otherwise, mainly for the reason that Jeno automatically lit up behind a camera. In all honesty, he hid behind it. It was the only safe place that Jeno knew what he was doing. However when it came to real life situations without it, he lacked the confidence to be himself.
As ironic as it was, he hated being seen. He liked to be the background character in his own life, because the main character took too much of a toll. It could also be his deafening insecurities and lack of self esteem, but Jeno didn’t mind not being the center of attention.
“You like a challenge?” It was more of a statement rather than a question. Jeno caught a glimpse of the twinkle in Taemin’s dark eyes. “Then for your first task, I want you to show me that you can take on this role.”
Jeno scrambled for his phone to jot down notes. “Send me an emotional portfolio, model of your choice. They could be a friend of yours that you feel comfortable seeing naked. It must include a variation of headshots, full body, and body details. It must also be raw and unedited photos. I want to see if you have the eye for the art to capture these types of images.”
“When would you like it by?” He stammered, completely winded at the sudden project that unloaded on top of him. 
“Next Friday, and you’ll present it to me here in person. Feel free to use this studio if you don’t have a place of your own with equipment. All you need to do is book a room with the front desk. Any other questions?” The sound of the laptop shutting caused Jeno to look up at the brilliance in front of him. He needed Taemin to help him succeed. 
“Why do you take nude photography?” 
Taemin was unable to stop the laughter that erupted into the room. “I don’t run a pimp business or sell soft core porn, if that’s why you’re staring at me so funnily. What I make is an art masterpiece, it has nothing to do with physical features or desires. It’s the pure emotion that clothing distracts from. Clothing conforms the model into an aesthetic, and while that works for editorials, it won’t be a consistent thing here.” 
Jeno nodded understandingly. Overwhelmed and lost at words. He was unsure what he had gotten himself into. Where was he going to find a model on such short notice on such lewd conditions? He was really going to need to step out of his comfortable zone, in his photography and social skills. 
Taemin stood up and extended his hand once more. “I take pride in my art, so I hope you, too, start finding that in your own.” 
+
Jaemin held his stomach from the endless laughter, tears welling up in his eyes. “Nud-Nude photography? And you didn’t know?”
“Jaemin, keep it down.” Jeno whispered and cautiously peered around at the few people flooding into the small lecture hall. “I don’t want everyone in our club to misunderstand and think I’m some creep.”
His best friend straightened up in his seat and placed his hand on Jeno's slumped shoulder, “first of all, you’re a complete idiot for not researching. Secondly, it’s an art form. If you really got yourself a shady, rated R internship, I would’ve told you to drop it instantly.” 
His spirits were slightly lifted, but he was still struggling with who he should ask to model for him. As much as he’s already seen of Jaemin, being his roommate, he honestly would rather leave the rest to imagination. Jeno wasn’t purposefully searching the room for a candidate, but he could not stop his eyes from drifting.
He spotted the most attractive side profile that sat two rows below him. He shook his head to make sure he was seeing her correctly. Peering around, he looked for another possible face to shoot. But oh god, how she caught his eye every time she even slightly moved.
You smiled happily with your friends by your side as your club’s executive board members introduced this year’s goals and events to attend. It had to be the smallest amount of alcohol still running in your system that caused you to giggle every time guys tried to turn around and hit on you.
“Why don’t you focus on our club members instead?” You smirked at the smug older boy, who had poorly attempted to grab your attention. “I think this information is important to you. These events could help you develop your social skills to be much better.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but your girl friends scoffed by your side.
He got up in disbelief and quickly walked out of the room. There was a brief pause at the sudden movement, but the announcement carried on per usual.
Jeno impatiently waited for the club meeting to finally be over, so he could talk to you. The longer it dragged, the more his confidence was subsiding. “I’m heading to study, wanna come with?” Jaemin poked at Jeno’s knee.
“Yeah, but you can go ahead first. I need to talk to someone.” His voice was shaky and his throat went so dry. Jeno’s shifty eyes scanned the room, hoping no one saw how nervous he was acting.
Jaemin’s eyebrows lifted suspiciously, “who? I didn’t even know you talked to anyone who came today. Donghyuck and Renjun aren’t here---”
“--her, Jaemin... her. I’m going to ask her to model for me.” Jeno motioned his head. His heart beating faster at seeing a small grin appear on your face from a comment someone made.
Jaemin hummed, “good luck with that, bud. I’ve got two shoulders for you to cry on after.” The extra hint of sarcasm only made Jeno sweat nervously. He was seriously doubting his decision, but it wouldn’t be a challenge if he didn’t do it. He knew he’d regret it more if he didn’t just ask you. 
Once the meeting was dismissed, you wanted to get out of the room before the heavy rush into the hallways. Unfortunately, a few frat guys pulled you into their conversation and chatted up a storm. Your friends played into their foolery, but you stopped paying attention when they asked for your numbers.
There was a faint tap on your shoulder and you turned to see who the culprit was. You didn’t seem to know him, because you would’ve remembered such a demeanor. His eyes were glued to the floor behind you and his shaky hands ran through his brown locks. His shyness was quite endearing, yet alarming since you weren’t sure why exactly he had approached you.
“Yes?” You asked curiously.
The moment Jeno heard your delicate cadence, he melted like a popsicle left out in the sun. He peered up, but quickly reverted his eyes to the white tiles when he noticed how beautifully you stared at him.
He counted his breathing to calm his rapid heart beat. He cleared his throat to introduce himself, “I’m Jeno. I’m a third year Arts major, um-- I was just--- I know we don’t know each other. I wanted to ask, uh-” Jeno was horrified at how he stammered over his own words. His cheeks burned with a red glow, and if he couldn’t look you in the eye before, he definitely couldn’t now.
“Hey, see you later.” One of the bulky frat guys called and you waved back weakly. 
A guy who had been chasing you endlessly scoffed at the pitiful sight and smirked at you, “see you at my house tonight? Been missing you in my bed lately.”
“Thought you would’ve guessed the reason why I stopped coming around.” Jeno heard the sting in your remarks and the disbelief in the male. 
You honestly could have left, Jeno knew that. But you stayed and waited patiently for him to finish. Jeno could tell how strong you were just by your intimidating aura that practically suffocated him by standing in close proximity to you.
You sighed and reached to grab your jacket on the folded seat, “look, Jeno. It’s nice to meet you and all, but I gotta get going.” 
Shockingly, the shy boy reached out to stop you by your fingertips. His touch lingered before he dropped your hand quickly. “I’m sorry. Are you free this Monday?”
“Uh, that depends. If you’re asking me on a date, then I’m busy.” Rolling your eyes, you weren’t sure why you still stayed to listen to what this random stranger had to say. If it were anyone else, you would’ve walked away the moment he asked if you were free. However, you acknowledged his timidness and the courage he must have mustered up to approach you.
Jeno shook his head violently, completely in shambles from that type of misunderstanding. “Not a date. I need someone to model for my portfolio photos that my internship assigned. It’s actually very important to me because it’s the first internship that responded back to me when I had applied to so many a whole month ago. Basically, I really need this and you because I think you’d be perfect to take pictures of. Oh-- wow! That sounded very bad --- uh --- what I meant is that your facial proportions are perfect and---”
“I’m free Monday.” You cut off his endless ramble and gestured toward his phone. He handed it to you without any hesitation and you typed in your number. “Text me the time, place and what I should wear.” 
“Oh actually, it’s a nude photoshoot.” Your eyes doubled in size, completely offended by that statement.
Jeno felt the sudden shift in the air and brought his hands up to block himself, “to be more clear, it’s a contemporary fine art nude photography studio. The pictures are pieces of art and to be seen as that only. I have no intentions or ulterior motive to sleep with you, see you naked or sell, leak your nudes for the profit of your body. But, I understand if you no longer want to do it because it sounds super strange now that I am explaining it.” 
Your shoulders relaxed and the fist that formed unraveled. You exhaled deeply, “I’ll do it. We can talk more about it on Monday and I get to leave on my own accord if I don’t feel comfortable. We work on my conditions.” Picking up Jeno’s chin, he was absolutely petrified at the forced eye contact and your incredible, powerful gaze. He was mesmerized by the fire in your eyes, and if he stared any longer, he could’ve lost himself in them. 
“Of course.” With that, you dropped his face and left without another look back. Jeno looked down at his phone and the new contact name, (Y/N). It had slipped his mind to even ask what your name was and he slapped his face in utter stupidity. “Do better, Lee Jeno.” It was a remainder to himself to, hopefully, be better the next time you two speak.
+
Monday, 3:03 PM. 
Jeno paced back and forth in the brightly, lit white room. He was trying to find any blinds or curtains to cover the tall windows of the high rise building. It should not be too much of a problem, the extra lighting was a positive. Jeno was only worried for your comfort of the openness. 
There was a soft knock before Jeno practically tripped to open the door. His breath hitched at the sight of your bare face. This time, you were the vulnerable one. Jeno only saw purity, yet impressed at how your tired eyes still managed to bid him a soft smile. He admired your uneven complexion, and the sparse moles that dotted your skin. 
“Okay, so you want to see me naked now or later?” Filled with jokes, your voice was light and airy this afternoon. There was a bit of a contrast from the first time you two met. Softer, enchanting, almost ghostly. 
Everything in the room was white. The mattress on the floor had a white comforter and white sheets. The backdrop. The walls. The hardwood floor. The only color was the blue sky that the tall windows let in.
“Here’s a robe. You can change in the bathroom.” Jeno scratched the back of his neck and his eyes wandered everywhere, but your’s. 
“Would you be okay with me just taking off my clothes in here?” You saw the light tint of pink cover his face, and spread to his ears. You examined more of the shy boy’s embarrassed face, finally getting a really good look at him. Jeno was very attractive, and you could only imagine how beautiful he must look if he fully faced you.
Jeno fiddled with his camera strap, “only if you are okay with that.” Clearing his throat, he stood next to the window to give you some privacy. “I’ll go over what I plan on doing. I’m going to take photos of your face details, parts of your body, full body, and portraits. You can lay down on the bed and I’ll direct you in poses. Have you modeled before?”
He was scanning the bustling city below his feet. Cars zoomed quickly and crowds of tiny people flooded the streets. He brought his camera up to his face, not being able to resist the urge to capture such a thrilling sight. 
“If Instagram counts, then yeah. Professional model gig would be a no. Nude photography is a definite no, unless we are talking about being filmed during sex.” Jeno chuckled, while also holding the camera steady and stealing a few moments to keep for himself.
For a strange reason, being naked for a non-sensual reason felt even more vulnerable. Laying on the soft fabric, you felt oddly exposed and slightly more reserved. You’ve had countless strangers see you naked. Men were sexually desiring to see a sexy picture. You were always lusted after, but this feeling of nakedness was special.
“Are you ready?” Jeno gulped, finally setting the camera down. 
You hummed cheerfully. Your heart was leaping out of your chest as the boy shifted slowly to face you. As he turned, you noticed he had his eyes sealed shut, which caused a small laugh to erupt. “Jeno, you have my permission to open your eyes and to look at me.”
Holy shit, he was trembling with an inexplicable fear. The camera was slipping from his sweaty hands. His mouth was as dry as the desert. Jeno’s pounding heart was loud in his ears. 
Jeno has seen his past girlfriends laying naked in bed, but this situation was too different. When he saw you laying there in absolutely nothing, he was overwhelmed, yet astounded at how graceful you appeared.
There was no exchange of words and no exchange of eye contact. He towered over your lying figure and shakily brought the camera to his eyes. He selfishly wanted to capture your elegance. Through the lens, he saw all of you: the curve in your eyelid, your curled eyelashes, the small mole next to your soft lips, the sharp color of your eyes, the way your hair frames your face.
This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. You were comparable to the arts found in popular museums. Your body lines were enticing and an impressive shape. Your breasts pooled on your chest, the round nude nipple in the centers. Your details had to be sculpted by gods, who took their sweet time making you. You were a true masterpiece. 
Confused, Jeno felt a huge mixture of emotions. Was he aroused? Was he infatuated? Did he just fall in love with a complete stranger? He recognized the same thrilled feelings he felt taking landscape photos. With each click, he grew more excited with how beautiful the photos were turning out.
“Sit up and rest your chin on your left hand. Lean your weight on your right leg.” Jeno’s direction was clear and firm. There was no evidence of a smaller tone he usually spoke in. Sitting up, you placed your elbow on your upper thigh to steady your chin. Jeno had already gotten down to floor level to you. 
Without the camera that separated you two, it had to be the first time he faced you completely in such close proximity. There was so much to admire about Jeno. He remained concentrated on his craft, but it was actually very sexy to see his dedication. It was almost like he was a whole new person, like all the shyness drifted away. 
Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off of you. It wasn’t simply your beauty that amazed him. Your confidence made everything easy. There was something about your blank stares, when he asked for an emotion, you portrayed it perfectly.
“Can we talk while you shoot?” Your sudden voice startled the photographer. He lowered his camera and his gaze automatically wandered off behind you, which didn’t go unnoticed. He nodded after a short pause and the shutter noises continued.
“Why did you choose me as your model?” 
Jeno peeled away from the device, “because you’re you.” He didn’t even know what that statement meant. It wasn’t like he knew you before the first time he asked you to model for him.
The corners of your lips dipped down, drawing an evident frown. Click. Jeno loved that image especially. It was a simple way to get real, authentic facial expressions. He marveled at the photo, but registered the reason behind it. “I wanted to ask you the second I saw you. I just knew that I wanted you.” 
“But you don’t know me.” 
Jeno looked through the lens once again, welcoming a full view of your stunning attributes. He spoke in a low voice, “then, let me know you.” Click. 
It would be the biggest lie to say that you weren’t aroused by Jeno at the moment. He was cool, without trying to be. He really did shine when he had a camera to work with, like a star to a dark night. While he had a distinct demeanor off the bat, you enjoyed unraveling the rest of him. He was, also, the first man you met that didn’t seem sexually driven by a naked woman in his presence. 
You had to resist every urge to push the camera away and share the few seconds of his entire gaze before it wandered away. You wanted to rock his world, he was so innocent and beautiful. You wished to wreak havoc on him, have him show you how much he wanted you. 
+
You anticipated an awkward photoshoot, but Jeno made you feel safe and comfortable. He made sure to adjust the temperature when goosebumps rose on your arms and when your nipples became painfully hard. He never touched you or came too much into your personal space. He always asked for your permission. 
Nude modeling was a new experience for you, but you were surprised at how much you liked it. or how much you liked Jeno taking your photos. He sat next to you on the bed when you put on your articles of clothing and panned through several shots to satisfy your curiosity.
Leaning close, your head ducked to see the photos. A gasp escaped your lips when you saw just the first few. “Is that really me?” The pictures made you feel an abundance of emotions, you felt what they reflected. Sadness, melancholy, happiness, confidence. You didn’t know images had that much power to make you feel that, especially photos of you.
Jeno nodded, smiling so wide that his eyes turned to moon crescents. He was so in love with the results. He found respect for Taemin’s craft and he was right, he might’ve found a new forte to experiment with. “I can send you the photos digitally too, if you want them.”
“Maybe I’ll print them out, frame them, and gift it to every horrid man who has tried to flirt their way to my body since they want to see it so fucking bad.” 
Jeno peered over and saw the tiny glimpse of pain in your orbs, “why would you give horrible people what they want?”
“So they can finally shut up and leave me alone. Plus, this is art and if I tell them it’s actually me, maybe it’ll change their minds to start treating me like it.” 
He held his palm up and almost immediately, your fingers filled the spaces between his. “I’m going to need you to start treating yourself as fine art.”
“Keep taking more photos of me and I just might start thinking I’m Mona Lisa.” Your laughters blended nicely into each other. There was mutual mental acknowledgement of the happiness you were both feeling.
Jeno never let go of your hand, and there was a short moment of comforting silence where you two sat in each other’s existence. You were the one to break it, “are you doing anything after this?” 
He shook his head. “Well then, you’re mine for the rest of the night. We’re going to pretend we’ve been close friends since first year and eat take-out on my bed because that’s what I need at the moment.” 
+
“I know you respect my body and see this as an art form, but I’m genuinely surprised that you didn’t feel aroused at the slightest.”
Jeno didn’t even realize how much time had already passed being you. You two ate and chatted as if you’ve known each other forever, as if the friendship wasn’t established several hours ago. It felt safe and right, like you two belonged in each other’s existence and nowhere else mattered.
He felt warm inside from your hearty laughter and courage, like he was watching a painting come to life or a photo in movement. You were smitten over how endearing and complex he was. He was more than what meets the eye and that alone drew you towards him.
“Okay, I’ll admit,” Jeno paused to watch your reaction, “in the most respectable way, I was somewhat turned on. But! Before you trail blaze me for being just like every disgusting male in your life, I genuinely didn’t have any sexual thoughts during the photoshoot. That was all professional and it will continue to be like that.” 
Getting up from your bed, your mind was working at lightspeed to process his confession. Jeno was fast to pick up someone’s personality, what stood out and what was kept hidden. He knew quicker than anyone else that you were not someone to offend because you were a strong, straight forward woman.
His personality breakdown went like this: you knew what you like, you knew you were going to get what you want, you enjoyed flirty banter (with people of your choice), you weren’t afraid to be blunt, or kick someone’s ass. You carried yourself with confidence that graced your every step, which makes anyone attracted to you instantly. Bold, confident, sexy had to be what came to mind whenever he thought about you. 
Nonetheless, he really liked you as a person. He could pat himself on the back all day long for just approaching you, but he knew the real reason as to how this all happened. It was you saying yes to a stranger’s odd photoshoot. You made him the luckiest man in the world. 
“Continue? Are you looking for excuses to keep seeing me?” You smirked and Jeno’s voice grew small. 
“I--- uh, well,” there goes the nervous stammering, “I know the conditions were a one time thing, so I understand if you don’t want to do it again.” As the night had progressed, Jeno gradually began to hold eye contact and actually looked at you directly without the help of seeing you through a lens. This was the first time he broke it. 
“Hey now, I’m messing with you, Jeno.” He had been sitting on your floor, at the end of your bed. You crawled on your elbows to reach him, and to hold his chin to face you again. Deja vu. “I’d love to get naked for you again, and again, and.. as many times as you want me to.” 
He stared at you with his mouth hung open in disbelief. His eyes scanned your beautiful face to see your lips pull back into a mischievous smile. Gulping, he swallowed every ounce of courage he had left. “You don’t have to say it like that.” He tried to remove your grip, but it latched onto his hand. 
“You’re finally looking me in the eye, sweet thing. I don’t think you realize how much I had been wanting that from you.” You caressed his cheek, rubbing small circles on his texture. 
“What else do you want from me?” His implication sounded suggestive, even if his curiosity was innocent. 
Your hot breath brushed against Jeno’s lips. “I can show you.”
Jeno, the one and only college guy who has seen your naked body in a non-sexual context. Jeno, the shy, sweet boy who appreciated and recognized you as a form of art. Jeno, the talented and skillful photographer, who consistently made sure you felt comfortable. Jeno, the only person in the world who you’d model nude for. Jeno, the dazzling character behind the camera who you wanted more than anyone else you’ve ever met. Lee Jeno.
He seemed like he was inching closer, already tilting his head to fit your’s. You smiled to yourself, seeing that your words were received well. Diving in, your lips swam together fervently. 
The poor boy found himself lost in your enchanting, alluring gaze. He let the trance consume him, selfishly kissing the art he admired so dearly. A small part of him felt the guilt and confusion that began to rise. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly wished to feel your lips on his neck, or run his hands across your hot skin. He swore these thoughts were not present earlier. 
A small pop! and Jeno held your shoulder to pull away. “I’m sorry, did I do something?” You asked, honestly concerned that you were taking more than you deserved. The least you desired was to hurt Jeno, who had been nothing but nice and sweet.
“(Y/N),” you could listen to your name roll off his tongue all day, “I feel somewhat guilty. I don’t want things to be misunderstood.”
“Which would be?”
“I don’t want you to think I coerced you into being my model just because I had intentions to sleep with you.” Jeno was already gathering his things, but you hopped off your bed and placed a hand on his chest. “Because that’s what it’s starting to look like at the moment.”
“Was that something you did though? Did you have those intentions?” Your stare bore right through him. The warmth of your hand relaxed his racing heart.
“Never, (Y/N), I would never do that to someone.” Your hand traveled down to grab his belongings and tossed it back onto the ground. 
He silently watched as you took off your pants, and stood in front of him in your underwear. “Then, we’re fine. I know your intentions have always been pure. But truthfully, Jeno, seeing you focused while you worked sparked something in me. You don’t understand how aroused I got and how badly I wanted you to fuck me on that bed.” His hand trailed up your exposed thighs, finally touching your softness. “You’re the one guy I wanted first, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that.” 
“I-- I don’t know what to say.” His cheeks revealed how embarrassed he was, but his dark, lustful eyes were telling a different story.
A smirk fell upon your face, “then don’t say anything.” 
Jeno devoured you, inhaling the light hint of vanilla that still lingered. He hoisted you onto your mattress and kissed you like his life depended on it. His antsy hands roamed your free range, exploring, holding, gripping the parts he marveled over. Small moans from the back of your throat encouraged him to continue.
No one has ever kissed you with the amount of passion Jeno did. It was gentle, with enough vigor to cause your panties to dampen. It wasn’t sloppy, where previous guys had a problem of missing your mouth entirely and slobbered your chin. 
His lips worshiped you, highlighting your good sides. Flashes of the photoshoot popped into Jeno’s head as he left purple marks on the places he loved capturing the most. He pushed up your shirt, exposing your chest to him again. His tongue circled around your hard nipple as he made sure to give the same amount of attention to each one. 
Jeno knew he was too shy to hold your intense stare, but getting to know you during and after the photoshoot, he could see the softness in your gaze. He was, now, able to see all of you. The sight of you through the camera was addicting enough, so finally taking you all in was more than satisfying. 
Your hands ran through his hair as he kissed down your torso. His thumbs hooked the waistband of your underwear, and peeled it off your body. You gasped as the cold air from your apartment grazed against your exposed figure.
Jeno paused to admire your glistening pussy, “would it be okay if you let me make love to you?”
Your heart burned, not out of embarrassment, but at how he still managed to ask you for your permission in the sweetest way. You rested your weight on your elbows, “no one has done that before, would it actually make me want to fall in love with you?”
“It wouldn’t be too bad. I have a lot of love to give and you look like a person who deserves all of it anyways.” Jeno’s finger ran over your wet slit and rubbed your clit slowly.
Your moans filled the room as the electric jolted throughout your veins. The wetness grew, seeping out of you like a waterfall. Jeno dropped down to his knees, and lifted your legs on his broad shoulders.
“Are you usually this wet, baby?”
Chuckling, you smiled at his bold choice in using pet names, “Just for you.”
He hummed, chiming at how he liked your answer. Spreading you open, his tongue met with your swollen bud that begged for his licks.
His tongue darted side to side, up and down and in result, your back arched in pleasure and a darkness clouded your mind. His name and mindless profanities streamlined their way out of you as Jeno ate you out in such a precisely delicious way.
Grabbing a fist full of hair, you pulled him closer, even if there was no more space to fill. Looking down, you two exchanged glances before he thrusted a finger into you. Your hips bucked harder as he eased in another one.
Jeno curled his fingers in search of your sweet spot and found it when a deep moan escaped your throat. His fingertips rubbed and pressed into your plush flesh, causing you to practically scream and squirm in his mouth. 
He suckled your clit and fingered you simultaneously and quickly. The pleasure was overflowing and you released his hair to grip your sheets below you. Your legs shook and trembled as he had no caution to stop.
“Please, I’m going to--” you could barely talk due to your face contouring to the splurge of pleasure every single time Jeno rubbed your spot. “--to explode.” 
He had to take back what he thought earlier in the day. This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever laid eyes on. The whole scene played like from one of his favorite films. It felt like he was giving his photos life. Your body twisted and turned, accentuating the curves of your lines. 
Jeno had become painfully hard against the fabric of his jeans, but seeing you fall apart because of his minimal movements exhilarated him. “P-Please, don’t stop.” A breathy moan followed suit and your thighs tried to press themselves together. Jeno didn’t allow it, his free hand hooked underneath your left thigh to pull one side away from his cheeks.
Your high gradually grew so tall that it all eventually came cascading down. Your legs shook violently and sat up from the euphoria that took over you. Jeno prolonged your buzz and you screamed loudly, having to bite down on your fingers to stop yourself from angering your neighbors.
Jeno drank you up, letting your wetness cover his chin and drip down his knuckles. He pulled away, at last, and you took deep breaths to control your heavy breathing. It was like Jeno knocked the wind completely out of you. 
He stood up and you saw the outline of his hard bulge straining itself through his jeans. The next scene was quite animalistic. You, still embodying your high, sat on your knees and unzipped his pants with your needy hands.
“Now, it’s your turn to get nude for me.” You whispered, tauntingly. Jeno groaned when you reached down and gently pulled him out. He stepped out of his clothing, all of it. His shirt was lost in the corner and his bottoms were scattered over your floor. Mirroring his actions, you took off your last piece of cloth.
Jeno was built. Though his biceps did not go unnoticed during the photoshoot, you were surprised at the lines of muscle that sketched his body. It made your mouth water, seeing his extremely hard dick stand against his toned abs. His red tip fell just below his navel. Jeno only kept getting better as the night continued on.
Pulling him closer, his hand found their way to the back of your head as you aligned your mouth to the wetness that spilled from his tip. “I want to make you feel good.” Jeno’s hoarse voice made your knees weak.
Peering up, you batted your eyelashes at him fondly. “Just a little taste?” You begged, having to hold his shaft with both of your hands because of his thickness. Your tongue was already stuck out, your hot breath causing the tiniest bit of sensation for him.
He nodded and his eyes were trained on you. He didn’t want to miss any second of your kitty licks. You flattened your tongue against his warmth, dragging it up to the top. The saltiness hit your palette as you swirled around his redness. “Oh--” Jeno threw his head back and bit his lip, “--lay on the bed now.” 
You smiled sweetly and gave his member a quick kiss before reaching for a condom in your drawer. Jeno climbed onto your bed and situated the rubber comfortably. You laid on your back and he was fast to pull your legs around his waist. 
He lined himself at your entrance and eased his tip in slowly. Squirming, you craved him to fill you up to the brim. He leaned down to kiss you, letting your tongue lap with his. It’s your hands with the mind of their own when they flew automatically to hold his face whenever you wanted to deepen the kiss. Then, Jeno stretched himself all the way in and he caught your gasp with his lips. He groaned, feeling the mess he created merely minutes ago. 
His hips moved so easily with your wetness, but he went slow. Dragging out each pull and then, pushing himself back in roughly. “Jeno!” Your body jolted up the bed each time. His body fell over yours to hold you intimately, letting you bury your face into his neck. Your lips latched themselves onto his sensitive skin, painting a purple sunset. 
Jeno’s arms snaked underneath your thighs as he pressed them to your chest, folding you almost into a ball. Your mouth hung open as he fucked you harder, rougher, deeper yet keeping the tempo rhythmically slow. At this point, you could feel his hits in your gut. Your weak hands gripped loosely around his strong wrists that held your legs down. “You’re pussy is so tight and holy shit---, you keep getting more beautiful.”
A familiar burning sensation set in your chest as you saw how concentrated his face had become. You were so fucked out that you could barely speak, “you—” his hips mercilessly slammed into you powerfully, enacting a low moan every time he reached your sweet spot. “—keep surprising me.” His actions came to a halt and he stared deeply into your soul. 
You whined, wiggling your hips for any friction. He held them down into the mattress, knowing his grip was strong enough to leave a mark. “I told you, I was going to make love to you tonight.”
“I’ve already fallen for you.” You said breathlessly, tracing the side of his face and pecking his lips softly. 
“You don’t understand what you’re doing to me by saying those things.” He whispered and pushed his entire shaft to fill you to your brim. 
You yelped his name and gripped his shoulders, but he wasn’t done yet. “Show me how badly you wanted me the first time you saw me.” Jeno blinked at you in slight shock. 
As he continued to hold the deep gaze, he kept pushing his dick further and further into you. He was balls deep, almost impossible to keep going. He fucked you without the need to pull out, just burying his cock deeper into your wet pussy. You exclaimed, moaned, cussed at every push. Holding the stare was more than enough to lose yourself all over him again. 
Jeno was drunk with the image of your fucked out expression and every time the mixture of pleasure and pressure caused your eyebrows to crease and mouth to open release sensual sound. He had been trying his best not to come undone, to fixate another climax for you.
The feeling of you wrapping tighter and tighter around him drove him insane. “Give it to me, please.” Your muffled plead called for his release, but he could feel that you were close to your second.
Jeno sat up on his knees and pulled you into his arms where your thighs fell over his. You groaned at the empty feeling, though it was quickly replaced with a gratifying moan when he inserted himself again. Your arms dangled around his neck, foreheads touching intimately. 
The fucking eye contact again, how could you get enough of it? You giggled, amused at how different Jeno was when he eventually opened up. He wrapped his strong arms around your back and thrusted his hips up into you. The way this man made you squirm, scream, and shake were nothing you’ve experienced before. 
He smirked, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek when he went rampage on your pussy. “Not laughing now, are you?”
You whined in pleasure, brushing your fallen strands of hair out of his face. “Shut up before I make you.” 
“Then I’d rather keep going.” Kissing up his jawline, you lead your way to his pout. His kisses intoxicated you with his passion and madness, like the most intense part of a symphony, or when the bass drops after a long build up in a song. 
Jeno sped up, ramming up into your slick pussy over and over again. He even brought your hips down to match him, guiding you down as he went up. The headboard was knocked against the wall, your windows steamed up, cries of pleasure from the both of you created the ambiance, the smell of sex filled your lungs. Jeno reached between your bodies to furiously rub your clit to where it felt almost raw. It all sent you into the clouds, the familiar queasiness settled in your lower half.
Your eyes rolled back and your back arched, having to pull away from the desirous kiss with Jeno. “I’m cumming!” You announced before the tension unraveled, causing you to see absolute white. The second wave was much more uncontrollable, Jeno felt you squeezing radically around his dick as he tried to fuck you faster to prolong the feeling.
Your legs shook around his and your upper body went limp with pleasure. You reached the peak of the mountain and it came crumbling down underneath your toes. It was catastrophically enthralling, to the point where you physically felt something leave your body.
“Oh shit..” Jeno stopped his motions at the sight of you squirting over his lap. He pampered your torso with fluttering kisses, hoping to calm your spastic body. “...baby, are you okay?” He asked with a bit of concern of how lack of life you seemed. 
This man just gave you the best climax in your whole life and he asked if you were okay? Regaining your senses, you sighed a small yes to reassure him that he didn’t actually murder you. Hopping off, you pulled the condom that restricted him.
He hissed when you cupped his balls in your palm. “Cum, my sweet thing.” You purred and Jeno’s hand pumped his member aggressively. You leaned in to help, sucking the tip and flicking your tongue over his slit. 
His other hand gripped your neck, causing you to drip on your sheets. Jeno was panting and with every tug, it became louder. He seemed so desperate to release that it made you smile to be the reason behind it. “Can you lay down,” A grunt followed his question, “please.” He huffed.
“Because you asked nicely.” Smirking, your back hit the sheets and you opened your legs to give Jeno a view. He situated himself above your stomach, as he fucked his tight grip.
“I’m cumming---” He couldn’t look any more amazing. With a final moan, the white streaks streamed out in short sequences. It landed across your abdomen, over your nipple, and pooled around your belly button. 
Bringing himself back to reality, Jeno stepped back to marvel you, his masterpiece. The white streaks coated your purple skin and your chest rose fast to catch your reality. Gazing upon your naked body, he was utterly infatuated with all of you. He was so in love with the sight of you that not a single photo could capture the beauty that you were. 
Jeno pondered the thought of how merely a day changed a small part of him. You were life changing, addicting, an incomparable character that he felt like he’s known forever, and now, couldn’t live without. It was the taste of your juices on his lips, your sweet melodic music that was your voice, your daring smile that enticed him to never peel away from you. It was simply you. 
He leaned down to rub his knuckles against your cheek, planting a lovingly peck on your forehead. “I’ll go start the water for you.” 
+
Jeno anticipated the reaction of his mentor. He found himself at the same scene he was when he was first given the task. Taemin sat across from him, hunched forward to analyze his new set of photos on his laptop. Raw, unedited photos of you, your body, your details. 
The hum of the air conditioning droned on, driving him mad. Jeno needed one reaction, but Taemin had been silent and expressionless for the past ten minutes. Whenever he did move, it was to click through to the next picture. 
Suddenly, he shut it closed and stood right up. Jeno, panicked, did the same. Taemin stuck his hand out and Jeno hesitantly grabbed it, incredibly unsettled and unable to read the older man.
Taemin received it firmly, giving Jeno a good handshake. “Welcome abroad, Lee Jeno. I expect even more great things from you.” 
Jeno registered his delightful mood switch and he was fast to follow up, “my photos, --- you --- like them?” 
Taemin nodded generously, patting Jeno on his shoulder. Taemin reached up to tap his own eyelids. “What you can see, is very special, kid. You’re an artist and I’m here to recognize that for you. It seems to me, you can do more than take pictures of sidewalks.” 
Jeno smiled happily, his eyes disappearing from joy. He couldn’t wait to tell you about it. 
The rest of the week, leading up to Jeno’s appointment, had felt nothing short of blissful moments together. You and Jeno spent almost every waking minute together without the cost of your friends’ time. He walked you to your classes, some even being across the campus from his own. You accompanied him for meals, even sitting in his lectures to just be with him.
There were no words that established what you two had become to each other. Jeno wasn’t looking for that anyways, in fact, he somewhat liked the ambiguity. If only he could tell you how making love to you made him begin to actually fall for you.
You were never one to hold a serious relationship, but you found a small want for that festering in Jeno. It was hard to admit to yourself, but Jeno saw you for all that you were. He truly saw you, whether it had been through a lens or through his own eyes. He captured your rawness and you were able to find vulnerability around him. 
He ran to you, where you sat in the lobby waiting for him to finish his meeting. Peering up from your phone, you noticed the beaming smile on the boy’s face. You couldn’t hold back your own grin, seeing him apparent with so much joy. “I’m guessing good things?”
“I got it, (Y/N)!” He jumped into your arms and you laughed at the sudden affection. “He loved my photos.” 
“I didn’t doubt it for one second. You’re an artist, Jeno. You create masterpieces that make even someone like me, feel like art.” 
Jeno hugged you closer to his chest, giving you a tiny squeeze. Pulling away to face you, his eyes examined your outstanding grace. You knew what he was already going to say, but simply wanted to hear him say it. “That’s because you are art.”
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dystopia-fantasy · 4 years ago
Text
Always read the job description -Part 1
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Max was a fit, well built man. He had been body building since he was 14 and now In his early 40s he has the body of a god, but is slowly getting to the age when he needs to find another way to make money. He knows he can't take part in his competitions anymore, and needs to take it easy. He got great grades in school and college, proving people wrong that you can't be a nerd in a jock body.
Max had some money saved and was able to keep up on bills for a few months but needed a job to keep his large house, in the rich area of the city. He got a call from a business he applied to a couple of days ago, telling him to go in for an interview tomorrow, and if it goes well he will be sent straight on a trip for the company. He gets his new blue suit ready to be worn the next day.
The morning arrives, it's 5am, and Max wakes. He does his normal morning routine, making breakfast, working out, taking a shower, then gets his suit on ready for his early morning interview. Driving to the office building in the middle of New York, it's at least 50 stories high, and is made of mostly glass, and is one of the newest modern builds in the city.
On arrival a large man in his late 60s wearing a suit greets him, "hello sir, you must be max, Sir Mammon is on his way down to collect you, may I say what an amazing suit you have on today".
Max looks the man up and down, seeing the man's huge belly flowing out from under his dress shirt, showing a massive W shape, "thanks mate, you might want a bigger shirt" then points to his belly.
"sorry if I offended you sir, but all clothing has been chosen by Sir Mammon himself" Mammon is the big boss of the business "if you would like to make a complaint I can print you a form".
Max laughs, "No thanks, I'm gonna sit over there, tell Mammon im there".
"will do sir, have a great day" the man says while max walks away paying no more attention to him.
About 15 minutes later a young handsome slender man walks over. "Max is it?" He says behind Max.
"yes.." max says confused.
"I'm Mammon, nice to meet you" he smiles holding his hand out for a shake.
"oh hello Mammon, is wasn't expecting someone so young, no offence of course" max shaking his hand.
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Mammon let's out a little laugh, with a little grin "it's ok max, people don't expect someone like me to own such a remarkable company like this one would you like to follow me, we can go up to my office, this is Mark by the way, he's my Butler". Mark is another large man aged around 50, he has a massive belly stuffed into his suit, hes huffing and puffing, like he ran a marithon, "don't mind him, most of my staff are..."
Max cuts him off "fat?"
They both laugh, "you could say that Max" the elevator arrives and they all walk in, "now max, you did read the whole advertisement correct?".
Max didn't, it's was 48 pages long, who would read it all? He just looked at the wage he would get, it started at $100,000 per month. "Yes, I did".
"that's good, most guys are more keen to keep their body's but I guess if your struggling you'll do anything."
Max now confused just nod's and watches though the glass elevator as they fly up to the top floor.
"where here sir" Mark the butler says peacefully in his British accent.
They walk into the room, and Mammon sits at his desk pouring himself a glass of wisky, and Max one too. Max looks around in aww, the room was covered in art work, with the walls painted in golds and whites and had its own bar. "How do you have all this money?" Max asked.
"a mix of many things, this company, and a few investments paid for this whole building, I have many other ways but we're not here for that." Mammon points at the seat," take a seat max" Max sits the chair is made from leather and is very comfy. "So, max, I've gone through your file, I think you're perfect for the job."
"so, does that mean I have the job?" Max replies confused, expecting to be asked a question.
"well yes, if you agree to the terms"
"terms?" Max still confused.
"well yes, you expect to be paid 10times the amount the normal person for this job without any terms or conditions?"
"well I didn't know.." Max gets cut off.
"Max let me simplify them for you. You sacrifice your body to the company, and in trade you get, $100k X the amount you weigh paid into your account per month, So if you weigh 450lbs, you get $450k a month."
"what the fuck? That's sick, I'm not doing that, I'm leaving" and with that Max got up from the chair and stood face to face with Mammon, with the desk all that is separating them. "Your sick, you fa**ot".
With that Mammon's eyes glow a bright red. "I'm a what?" Max got through back against the chair by an invisible force. "Max you could have just left with your freedom, but now look what you've gotten yourself into".
"Let me go, What the fuck?" Max says while traped against that chair, it chreeking with the force of his muscle.
"I'm a fucking demon max, I'm never going to 'let you go'" he took a second break to mock max, "now, what did you say? Fa**ot, was it?".
"fuck, I didn't mean it" the force pins him down harder, trapping his arms against the leather chair arms, and pushing his legs against the underboard. "Please let me go home, I won't do it again."
"shut up max, the process is already starting".
Max looks down to see his body deflating, his pecs turning from mountain peaks to a flat surface, his giant powerful arms turning weak and light. And then looking up he sees a whole new man infront of him.
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"Not as big as I thought I would get, but boy I'm big" he took a break to admire his new giant arms and pecs.
"what the?" Max looks in confusion, "how did you do that? Give me them back".
"what are you gonna do max? I'm an infinitely powerful being and you, your an old man, or at least your going to be."
"I'm only 42, what do you mean, going to be?"
"you see I don't have my infinite life span on earth, so to stay alive and in this fit body, I absorb anything a guy has and I want. In your case, these massive muscles, but then I need to absorb their life force as well, in order to make sure I don't age."
"what do you mean life force?"
"well, you have roughly 50 years, worth of life left, I'll drain about 20 years leaving you in your future crippled body at around age 60, force you to work for the company for another 20 years, then when your 80 drain the rest of your life, which after you get fat won't be much, then you got to hell."
"man your sick, let me go, LET ME GO!".
A bright red light shoots from Peters hand enveloping Max's whole body, and he starts to age, his face wrinkling, skin dropping, eye sight worsening, hearing getting muffled, and mind changing a little. "Max, you ok old man?".
"yes sir" max was confused in his mind, why did he say sir?
"max, you ready for your Cruise? You can have tones of food for the next 6 months."
"Yes sir, I'm ready" max lifts his head, opening his eyes to see a new blurry room from his new old eyes.
"you're gonna need these from now on" Peters eyes glow and a new pair of glasses appear on Max's face he can now see clear.
"thank you... Sir", max blinks seeing Peter infront of him, "what have you, done to me".
"Max, I've turned you into the perfect office worker, old, brainiac, who is soon going to get fat and live the rest of his life, in an office chair for me, don't worry for accomodation you live here now, we have apartments on floor 30 to 40, all workers live here, it's policy, we have also sent a team to your house to, well, blow it up, that way nobody is going to be looking for you, becuase we can plant a body"
"give me... My.... Body back, give me... My.. life back."
"Max we both know that will never happen, now enjoy a life of gluttony, and prepare yourself for hell, that's gonna be worse then anything I can do to you." Peter snaped his fingers and a red glow enveloped max.
Recovering from the glow max sees two men infront of him with a trolly of sorts between them. "Is he awake" one says,
"I don't know" said the other.
"im- awake" max said in a much older raspy voice.
"good we can now start the feeding" the man on the left said, his body as muscled as a god, ripped from head to toe, and we can see everything.
Max rubs his eyes under his glasses and opens them again, "Fucking hell, put some clothes on both of you".
Both men where nude, one a ripped god, another muscled up but with a big gut. "Clothes are banned here mate" the beefy man said in a type of Australia accent, "you cant say much fella, look at that tiny pecker".
The men laughed pointing at Max's shriveled up old cock and low hanging balls, "what the fuck"max tries to move his arm to cover him but his arm doesn't move, he looks down to see him stuck in a chair, with a cut out hole under his ass, and straps tying him down, trapping him. "What... Are you gonna do to me?" Max asked sceared.
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The men laughed at him again, "no need to act to sceared, we're here to feed you for the next 6 months".
"but... Sir said..." Max get cut off.
"he said you'd be going on a cruise? Fucking hell are you dumb? He's a demon, you shouldn't trust a demon" The muscled guy says.
"bro let's start the feeding we have 50 other guys to see and I wanna watch football Tonight." The beefy guys says, and in unison both their eyes glowed a bright red, showing they where demons too.
The trolly between them had several items on top, one long tube, which floated in the air for a few moments before shoving itself down maxes nostril and deep into his stomach, his head flipped back trying to wriggle it out, but it was stuck. Another item moved into his frame, a IV bag holder, holding a giant barrel type object made of glass, and two large bags floated of the table again and started to drain into the barrel, and the tube connected itself to it, starting a flow of the liquid into maxes stomach.
"done" the beffy guy said. "Now we'll be back tomorrow to refill your barrel, and clean you up if you make a mess, but youll basically be unconscious for the next 6 months, due to the drugs were feeding you."
"so enjoy your sleep mate, you'll litterally wake up a different man." The two men laughed and walked out, max tried fighting the restraints but in his crippled form could do nothing. The door slammed and locked, and the room fell dark, max screamed begging into the darkness to be let free, and to have his life back, which he had only an hour before, but nothing happened, nobody came. He felt the drugs taking effect, but tried to fight back, but it was useless, his body slumped and loosened. His mind fell blank as he drifted of into his 6 month hibernation.
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