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xclusivetism · 3 years

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Debunking ‘gender identity’ by gender ≠ sex.

Having gender identity may seem noble divergence from our gender rigid society, the solution to stop such and embrace self-expression.

However after examining it through, ‘gender identity’ the way the ideology says doesn’t really exist and actually still perpetuates gender conformity.

And no, there’s no need for “there’s only two sexes” or any science argument at all to disprove gender identity. Gender ideology so f l a w e d that it can do it perfectly itself out of any of above the fastest just by Gender ≠ sex.

You probably read many things that try to disprove gender and thought it was wrong or outdated that scientist have discover there’s people with XXXY.

But after reading this, If it doesn’t peak you or at least make you question gender, then i honestly really don’t know what will other than to call you deluded.

What is Gender

Gender ≠ sex is the essential foundation of gender.

To order to know the difference, we need to know what individually each are.

Gender is a social construct

Gender Identity

Gender expression

That means.

Sex is a physical construct

Sex

Sexual orientation

The first thing that instantly break Gender ≠ sex

“Sex is not binary, Sex is a spectrum or intersex exist”

That already outed you as a hypocrite especially when responding to “there’s only two sexes” saying that they’re conflating sex and gender.

Why should sex being binary or not be relevant to gender identity?

LGB and T are antithetical.

Since Gender ≠ Sex, LGB and T shouldn’t be consider one.

Sexuality is a Sexual orientation not a gender orientation, to suggest it means gender too is conflation.

For a trans-woman to say they’re lesbian or a trans-man to say they’re gay is incorrect & impossible because they’re straight. Gender identity doesn’t shift sexuality status because they’re separate things and to suggest so is homophobic. For a trans to say that invalidates their identity is another conflation of gender and sex.

LGB is a sex-based group while T is a gender-based group. One’s based on sexual attraction and the other is based on changing gender, they are absolutely nothing alike.

‘Cis’ is enough entitlement to be trans exclusive.

Terfs don’t like being called ‘Cis’

But let’s say they drop the belief that “transwomen aren’t real women” and say “transwomen aren’t ciswomen” and want spaces of their own

They put the ‘Cis’ prefix

Cis woman schools

Cis woman attracted

Cis woman bathroom

Cis woman sports

Cis woman locker rooms

Cis woman administrator

Cis woman health

Cis women history

etc.

Instead of saying “only women can breastfeed” they use “only AFAB can breastfeed”.

According to TRA logic, all that would be valid.

To for one to say that’s segregation, you would also have to believe separation of men and women or other types groups is segregation as well. A Cis person doesn’t have the trans experience and that goes the other way around.

‘Transwo/man’ is transphobic itself.

Gender ≠ Sex physical transitioning would be a conflation.

If it’s not a conflation, that would imply that physical features are social constructs which includes reproduction, sexuality etc.

Gender is a social construct, all you need to be a gender is identify.

Gender dysphoria is only a social dysphoria, if it’s about the physical then it’s really sex dysphoria. To say it isn’t is conflation.

But even identifying as a ‘wo/man’ itself also is transphobic because the meaning behind it is sex base.

the definition of wo/man.

Adult human fe/male being

What does fe/male mean?

(Female) of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes.

(Male) of or denoting the sex that produces small, typically motile gametes, especially spermatozoa, with which a female may be fertilized or inseminated to produce offspring.

One can go down in the definition to point that it also means this.

Relating to wo/men or the fe/male gender.

To say wo/man in the definition also refer to gender, isn’t that a conflation and breaking Gender ≠ Sex? My oh my so many usage of the word conflation.

Gender identity.

Non-binary is not a gender, nothing of it say it’s a gender. It’s just non-binary of something which is usually assumed of not being man or woman. But not being a man or woman doesn’t say of what it is only of what it is not. If the binary part is something else that mean a person who identifies as a woman or man (including cis) can be considered non-binary. Non-binary is really just a slot.

So far the solid identifies are

Man

Woman

Neutrois

Queer

Agender

Androgyne is both man and woman. Genderqueer wo/man is both of queer and wo/man. Pangender is all.

Everything else is either a flux, degree, combination of the above or based on a different concept. Things like such as bigender are umbrella because it doesn’t specify if it’s man or woman or something else.

That being said, the only one that’s truly gender non-conformist is agender. Queer is still gender conforming just not to man or woman.

What are the distinctive qualities of each identity?

It’s said that gender expression is different than identity and that someone who identifies as a boy can be very feminine still.

So we’re not gonna use association of masculinity, femininity etc. to define it then.

So what identity mean is it’s usually answered as someone’s ‘personal sense.’

If it’s a personal sense that mean it would be mean it’s a personal construct.

Personal or social construct regardless, it doesn’t say the characteristics. If you can’t point out what to define the labels become hallow.

There’s many things that aren’t concrete that can show one it’s existence.

An abstract thing like 1, can present it’s existence.

A thing we cannot fully see of like the 4D can present it’s existence.

Even pseudo scientific like zodiacs signs have specific qualities to describe, personality types and even religion has something to define.

In the means of gender, all the identities really sums down to meaningless labels. In the means of sex, the word woman or man are names for physical characteristics that is observed at birth.

Problem with “assigned gender identity at birth”

No one was “assigned” at birth, “cis” people don’t match what their doctors assign. Assign word implies duty and a job. Assign is often a thing that doesn’t always taking what the subject is to account, for example you being assigned to a seat is sometimes random and not based your rowdiness or attentiveness.

The doctor characterised people a ‘wo/man’ based on observing them. Woman and Man are distinguisher (just like fruits and veggies) of physical characteristics.

People are assigned a gender expression at life.

Gender identity doesn’t exist other than being a label, gender identity is based on sex hence that label. What’s assigned is actually gender expression.

What Society does

(Biology) Sex → gender identity ↓ ←gender expression (Society)

↓ Gender identity → gender roles

What TRAs think to solve it

gender identity ←gender expression (society)

Gender identity → gender roles

Sex ← gender identity (society)

Sex Ⓧ gender identity (society)

Sex → gender identity (different)

↓ gender identity (different) → sex → society → expression = gender roles

What Gender critical think to solve it

Sex → gender identity → gender expression→ society = gender roles

Putting it to perspective

Whenever GC say this:

Sex → gender identity

This is how TRAs view it:

gender identity ←gender expression (society)

Gender identity → gender roles

Sex ← gender identity (society)

↓

Sex → gender identity = gender roles

and thus GC = society pushing gender norm

and the TRA misses this:

→ gender expression→ society = gender roles

Gender ideology pushes gender conformity, just in backwards.

Society enforces femininity on women and masculinity on men to maintain a heteronormative hierarchy aka patriarchy.

Gender ideology is a patriarchal chest play to keep people from actually breaking such status quo by putting the gender role but backwards.

Societal gender roles

Women must be feminine

Men must be masculine

Gender ideology

Feminine is woman

Masculine is man

Neither is non-binary

Anything else it’s a new gender

‘Cis’ means comfortable of the societal gender role

‘Trans’ means not comfortable of societal gender role

GRA say expression is different from identity to hide the fact that it in a way still pushes gender conformity. They confuse the names for physical characteristics ‘wo/man’ as entire gender construct and expression.

Here’s the damage Gender ideology does.

So far GRA activist blur what sex and gender is, despite their gender ≠ sex.

Blurring gender and sex create problems for the LGB and women, by making anyone able to appropriates them by identification and transing so long as they feel it, remember these two groups are on the oppressed side. There isn’t even a qualification (not even dyphoria) to be considered trans. Growing kids & teen are getting into this as well ruining their bodies, ask yourselves how are they old enough to block puberty but not drink alcohol?

People’s motivation for why they want to of certain gender is not look thorough enough.

People in general again who again don’t fit with gender norms

Women with internal misogyny/trauma

Gay/Lesbian with internal homophobia/trauma

Men who want more access to women for misogynistic reasons.

You cannot ever feel something you cannot comprehend.

And you cannot ever comprehend not feeling it.

One’s thought of feeling or not like a boy/girl comes were form by the brain cells of XX or XY chromosome or whatever.

Here’s a color analogy i have to show case the difference between one who feels like wo/man vs someone who actually is.

Identifying as one.

Actually being one.

The gender dysphoric pandemic

The correct word for what people mean by gender dysphoria would be sex dysphoria people who are dysphoric of their physical sex body.

Sometimes transsexual need mechanical intervention to relief their sex dysphoria.

Most people who are ‘trans’ aren’t transsexual as that is rare and projecting the gender dysphoria to their bodies instead should be towards society. There’s some types of transwomen who have autogynephilia (reverse heterosexuality, which is nothing wrong in of itself but alot of them are doing bad with it) are motivated by sexuality and is projecting that thing of wanting to become the opposite sex.

Gender dysphoria

A lot of people in the world have gender dysphoria some in more degree than others.

Many movement where brought out because of gender dyshoria

LGB because gender roles often link to heteronormative.

Feminism/Women’s rights including the ‘Terfs’ is a inherently gender dysphoric movement.

Gender criticals are inherently gender dysphoric.

What trans movement doing is conflating gender dysphoria with sex dysphoria but they are actually perpetuating gender norms.

The only gender construct that matters is identity which is woman or man because that exist to distinguish people of certain biological characteristics. “Masculinity” and “Femininity” isn’t real, they’re just many expressions boxed into one or the other enforce to people into gender roles which are by large hierarchy called patriarchy. If there is natural patterns that’s sex behavior.

Most people in the trans community aren’t bad, they’re being exploited by the people who are bad. The people who are bad are motivated to destroy children, LGB and women’s rights, depressedly under all this is essentially a men’s right movement but left wing. We need to take those men (and few women) with evil intent to account now.

Right leaning and traditional etc. people role in this whole thing.

Conservative/traditionalist/religious people who claim to be gender critical, are most of times far from it and are in fact gender rights activist but trans critical that’s the only different between them and the bad trans people above. The trans movement is mostly a side-effect and these people are kinda the reason for it. Gender roles are toxic considering that people especially have to resort in changing their bodies for not fitting in and the gender ideology is a outlet.

So it’s pure insanity conservative/traditionalist/religious people to keep insisting that be men masculine and women be feminine and that’s it’s all fine and fail to acknowledge, comprehend or disregard people who are gender dysphoric to those roles (feminism being the biggest example) making them seem pathological abnormalities when complaining about them.

There’s truly a lot of people who are non-conformist but were too scared to be themselves because people like them and it has been rampant for thousand of years. They use not seeing alot of them as prove to enforce their patriarchal rhetoric.

Conclusion

What people need to talk about is their gender dysphoria (but not ideology kind) but of the roles in society. Let transsexuals be their own group without the gender nonsense in peace. We need start embracing gender non-conformity without needing to change our biological identity.

#gender #gender identity #gender noncomformity #gender critical #lgbt #liberal #liberal feminism #feminism #women's rights #trans exclusionary radical feminist #radical feminism #society #gender roles #patriarchy

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cloveroctobers · 4 years

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CHELSEA ELLE HODGSON —

IG info/Bio: @/chelseaaahodecor | 109k followers | hi babes! welcome to my life lovelies, please get comfy with this Prosecco im serving thru this screen! xx here’s my site if you need some light in ur life: ichelseahdgsondesigns.com 🏝💕

24 (25) years

From Buckinghamshire, England

Comes from a wealthy family

her father’s side of the family founded, “Hodgson investments” their company is built off of financial services

Her papo (grandfather) was arrested on tax invasion & served some time for doing so

Her father, Alistair now manages the company but under a different name

Her mother’s side of the family comes from old money...something about horses?

Her mother, Connie holds many events and seems to make $ from them but Chelsea isn’t quite sure what the woman does or if it’s fully legal

The family is all about protecting their image & if you don’t cut it, there will be repercussions

Feels a little like dynasty (I’ve only seen 2-3 episodes & never finished but get the point?) , maybe that’s why Chelsea & her sister enjoy watching it so much

Parents forsure held courtship events or either went to courtship events with their children (even Albie) & found suitors in hopes of marrying their daughters off (& finding Albie a new wife, only on Mrs. Hodgson’s part— mr. Hodgson seems nicer/easy-going)

Has older twin sibs: Albie-Crispin & Dolly-Georgiana

Often referred to as “the triplet” in the press

Well-known in their city

They’re all called by their first & middle name in their family household even tho their parents do not have middle names

Has a love/hate relationship with albie, he is selfish & has proven to do anything to drag others down to make himself look better

He’s a lawyer & has been married to his wife for about 7 years

Mrs. Hodgson, Dolly, & Chelsea all agree they do not like her but Chelsea puts on a smile whenever her sister-in-law is around while Mrs. Hodgson makes it known that she dislikes the woman, she thinks she’s beneath her son since her family does not make nearly enough $ put together between her & Mr. Hodgson

Dolly has a bf who’s a dental hygentist that she’s been dating for about 3 years but they’re both cheating on each other, she doesn’t think she’ll ever be married

She’s in office management

Chelsea fell in love with interior decorating from the moment she played with doll houses. Her grandparents made sure to send her the biggest doll houses they could find every Christmas. She’s always been in love with rearranging and picking certain items and best putting them into a space that works

She shit at drawing (she’ll leave that to the Architects) but she knows her furniture & patterns quite well

Has asked a few architects out on dates, some she worked with or stumbled across, only one seemed like it could have truly worked...I imagine him to look a bit like Henry Cavill with light facial hair (told you I’m a sucker for it, & Chelsea probably can tolerate just a bit not too much)

Yet Chelsea always has a wondering eye, she gets curious quite often which makes you wonder, is she really ready for love? To fully commit? One day she will be

It’s a competitive field and when she’s ready to battle she will but there are moments when she gets let down & has to pick herself up again

Has ADHD, goes to therapy for it & hates taking her meds. She’d rather stick to therapy sessions since it’s always nice to talk to someone

When she was younger she probably stole a friend or two’s bf & would definitely get mad if they did it back to her but they somehow still end up being friends in the end? Yikes

Hung out with the popular kids, was always at the parties making sure everyone was having a good time. Filling up the cups, directing where furniture should be moved, where the kegs should go, how many people should be there, etc...She doesn’t seem like the stuck up type like her mother but she is privileged & doesn’t realize it as much

Was a cheerleader & ran track, quit track to commit full-time to cheerleading since that kept her in shape enough

Dated here & there, had one bf where they would scream at each other and wouldn’t allow the other to leave or would be upset that the other didn’t come after them...yeah one of those couples

Broke up with her goth bf because he didn’t tell her he wasn’t coming to school for about a week; he had the stomach flu

Canon: Took a computer course in high school & in uni & found out she was at the top of her class for typing the fastest, she now loves the sound of her short pink ombré nails on the keys

Canon: Wanted to be a show jumper due to her mother’s side of the family & their history with horses

Goes to the stables every now & then, there’s one horse there that she’s absolutely in love with & loves to ride. Her father always offered to buy it for her but it’s not a animal she wants to own

Canon: loves finger foods + will get full off them at events quickly. She also doesn’t mind the tiny portions of food at expensive ass restaurants, it’s just enough for her

Takes hair supplements. Probably had long hair growing up that she always kept up in a bun or ponytail but decided to start chopping her hair off & getting layers & highlights which damaged her hair

Approves of plastic surgery

Is part of the itty bitty titty community & got a lift for them

Gets lip fillers for her bottom lip but isn’t a fan of needles + overlines her top lip

loves going to the dermatologist, the spa for facials & whatever else she’s willing to try & finding new skincare to buy

Tans & loves tropical hot summers

Buys an overload of bikinis even in the winter

Hates the rain, it messes with her mood

Loves a good lipstick & lipgloss combo, nudes & pinks are her to go to’s

Fav color is pink

Got herself a guinea pig after the show & named her “bubbly” after her baby in the villa

I feel like she would eventually get a tiny dog too

Has her own flat, that’s quite far from all of her family. She loves her dysfunctional problematic family but Chelsea likes her space from them too

Since buckinghamshire’s culture is more of a Middle Ages style, Chelsea made sure her home wouldn’t hold much of that style inside. It needed to be lively! Her family home was filled with dark wood & she can’t stand that

She loves going to the markets tho. She always seems to leave with something & either finds herself not liking it months later and ends up selling whatever item caught her interest

Her family tends to pop in whenever they want, especially her mother

Canon: talks about cat cafe’s when she’s drunk, says its her version of the chocolate factory + she’s the dancing drunk

Always down for a girls night out, girls trip & girls sleepovers

Probably goes to bed early around 10pm or earlier m if she’s not out having the time of her life, which makes her regret her choices the next morning

All her closest friends back home are a group of girls

Hangs out with Priya, Marisol, & Hope from the villa whereas the rest she’ll mostly communicate with them through socials or gatherings

Will host gatherings & expect them ALL to show up

Is dramatic when things don’t go her way

Loses focus more than gets bored in relationships? She’ll find other things or people to occupy her time which she doesn’t realize can be hurtful to others

When she does realize she hurts someone, she immediately wants to fix it

Canon: Is a blabbermouth. Cannot hold a secret for shit, also cannot tell a lie. Her body language gives it away first if she doesn’t spill it

Retail therapy is the best therapy if she doesn’t have a office appointment

Any spice girl song will be her karaoke song, she is always baby spice

Loves her Prosecco (me too sis!) & keeps plenty bottles in her wine fridge. She originally wanted a space with a wine cellar but got creeped out at the thought since it’s just her & bubbly living in the home

Has high cell phone bills, the girl loves a good chat

Cannot cook no matter how hard she tries. She’s been to cooking classes with an ex, watched videos, order from those food delivery sites to prepare food & it just never turns out well

Will spend hours in furniture stores, she’s had to be escorted out pass closing hours by security guards before & manage to make friends out of them. They all know who she is in majority of the stores she enters

Throws a party every time her following goes up. There’s never not a reason to throw one

Was upset that Carl unfollowed her once and figured Hannah made him do it. Which wasn’t true, Hannah was sure of herself now & doesn’t feel the need to be jealous, the man could follow whoever he wanted—she knew he barely stayed on IG in the first place. He thought it was too shallow

So when Chelsea called him one night sobbing he was utterly confused, he didn’t understand why a follow meant so much

He reluctantly followed her back

Thrilled to know Elijah, Lucas, & Carl all keep up with her. Oh & the rest of the boys ofc!

Chats with Jakub! They also hang out. They’re a bit of a odd pairing but they get along well, he’s basically another big brother to her but she actually likes him—

Afraid of the dark, keeps fairy lights lit throughout the night in her bedroom, keeps scent infused night lights in her hallways

Believes in feng shui

I feel like her voice is soft like jennifer Tilly’s?

Idk what her sun sign is? Is she a sag far as daydreaming cause she does that. I KNOW she has Leo in her chart, she’s dramatic, warm, likes to be admired & appreciated. Sun sign I need help? Maybe she’s a Sagittarius sun? + Leo moon + libra rising

Has a collection of celeb gossip magazines that she keeps on a stand next to her pink velvet chair beside her bow window

I think she will be the first islander that gets pregnant tbh & it’s by an architect (the guy I mentioned/envisioned that’s been waiting on her to realize he can give her the love she needs or prove he can balance her out) or firefighter or someone “manly” she wouldn’t end up with a islander I don’t think

she has a girl & names her, “adore”

Canon: Still wants 5 kids but we’ll see how that goes & if it’ll change, it’s been a bit difficult not drinking Prosecco but she’s got a lovely baby out of it

Crushes? Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Alfred Enoch, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Cole, Gregg Sulkin, Frank Dillane, Charlie Rowe, & Hero Fiennes Tiffin

Can listen to anything that’s got a good beat. But we all know she’s a pop & folk genre lover. She listens to: Astrid S, Maty Noyes, Cher Lloyd, Bebe Rexha, Allie X, Poppy, POST MALONE, etc.

Anthem? Gabrielle Aplin — Until the sun comes up

#litg #litg2 #litg s2 #litg Chelsea #litg carl #litg headcanon #litg headcanons #litg au #50/50 like Chelsea lol #she’s sweet but there’s things that she’s done that makes me side eye her #wouldn’t keep her around my man if she’s single tbh lmao #litg3 #litg s3

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chemicalpink · 5 years

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Yoongi’s Friend (Jungkook x Reader)

Pairing: Jungkook x fem!reader

Warnings: none (so far)

A/N: I posted the teaser to this a few days ago so here is the continuation, hope you like it! xx

Summary: You are Yoongi’s friend and are spending too much time in his studio that you are just bound to bump a few too many times into Jungkook or the one where Kookie is too shy to talk to you but will drop by an annoyingly amount of times at the Genius Lab if it means seeing your face

“Okay so maybe if we bring it up half a key for the bridge” you said to Yoongi as you reached out to play the keyboard laying on his left as he watched you unamused, far too frustrated for this being the third day in a row working on the track. You and Min Yoongi had met not long ago through a mutual producer friend that was way too excited to get you both to collaborate, seen as you too were a musician, just obviously not as big as himself.

“Hey hyung, Namjoon-hyung says that you need to have dinner with us toni-“ a voice coming from the door had you both turning towards it, spotting a messy mop of dark head and a surprised, childish like expression that belonged to none other than Jungkook, both your and his eyes locking for a brief second before you smiled at him, not that you two were close, hell, you two hadn’t even been introduced to each other because every time you came by BigHit, you spent it in Yoongi’s studio, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find the youngest attractive, especially after those beautiful vocals Yoongi had let you hear in the demos for the song you were currently working on.

Jungkook disappeared as quickly as he had appeared and without a further word, leaving Yoongi to release an annoyed sigh.

“It’s cute how they worry about you” you mentioned, starting to collect your things, not wanting to intervene in their plans “We can always clean the track some other day, Yoongles”

“Please don’t call me that” he had his head resting on the top of his chair, thinking about who knows what “It’s just that we’ve been on this for far too long and-”

“I’ll see what comes to mind back home, yeah?” you called from the door “I’ll text you”

･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆

They were all sitting across the living room, phones in hand as the TV played some movie in the back.“Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook asked looking up from his phone as the elder just hummed in response, not bothering to look up “Who was that girl back in your studio?”

It wasn’t exactly like Yoongi didn’t share his side projects with the rest of the group- it was just that he liked to be sure they were coming out alright before announcing the news, but your collaboration was something that came out of nowhere, and so most of his time was spent inside the lab.

“Err… she’s just a producer” he said nonchalantly, hoping Jungkook would drop the topic and none of the other members paid attention to it, but of course, they didn’t. A string of questions ranging from ‘is it for your new mixtape’ to ‘is she pretty?” were thrown at him in the span of 10 seconds and he was forced to look up from the screen, making the room go silent at once “Her name’s Y/N, we met through a mutual friend, we’re working on a collaboration for her newest album, yeah she’s pretty and no, none of you idiots will get anywhere near her.”

No more words were shared as he got up from his spot and entered the studio once again, not before muttering a quick ‘thanks for the food’ to Jin.

･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆

The next day you arrived at the usual time, two americanos in hand.

“You know, I bumped into Jungkook and Jimin as I was entering the building,” you said, placing one of the cups on his desk as you took your usual spot on the couch next to it “Is it just me, or is the maknae growing prettier by the day?”

Yoongi almost choked on his sip of coffee as the words left your mouth “Please tell me I just hallucinated you saying that from sleep deprivation” you laughed at his reaction “Y/N...I’m going to have to ask you not so kindly not to even think about dating Jungkook”

“Why though? He’s cute”

“Y/N, you and I are basically the same person, it would be as if Jungkook decided to date a female version of me” he shivered in an over-exaggerated way to show his disgust at the thought of it “And that’s a question I never want to be answered”

“Fine”

･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆

The next few days were spent with stolen glances while walking by Jungkook every time you set a foot in Big Hit’s building to go to Yoongi’s studio, and today was no exception as he shyly waved your way from one of the practice rooms you walked by on your way to the studio.

“Jungkook really is a cute one,” you said out loud as you were sitting in the couch scrolling through Twitter as Yoongi was typing away in the computer, your collaboration song almost done, just missing a few touch-ups

“Gosh I thought we had talked about this, Y/N” Yoongi’s voice made your head turn faster than expected, cheeks going redder by the second, you surely didn’t mean for the phrase to escape your lips “I really really don’t want to know if Kook would date the female version of me”

You rolled your eyes at that, but since you couldn’t tell whether or not he was being serious, decided to tease him further “I don’t know Yoongi, Jungkookie might have gotten you a new ARMY” you turned your phone screen for him to see your timeline overflowing with tweets from their fans, to what his eyes focused on yours in a disappointment manner

･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆

Of course, you weren’t about to admit that what began as a way of teasing Yoongi over his authoritary decision of prohibiting you to like the maknae, developed into a serious crush in the course of two weeks; aimlessly scrolling through Twitter turned into a full-consciously searching for ‘Boyfriend Material Jungkook thread’ and sure as hell you were not about to admit that most of your findings made you smile fondly, even making your heart skip a bit.

It was around 8 am as you were making your usual trip to Yoongi’s studio after getting two americanos in the cosy cafe on the way there that the rapper seemed to adore, smiling in the receptionist’s way as you greeted her and she granted you access to the building, making sure to wish her a nice day, nothing could have prepared you to what was about to happen.

“Y/N!” the mention of your name made you turn full 180 to be met by none other than Jungkook making his way to you, messy hair, loose black shirt and those goddamn grey sweatpants that made it so hard for you to look away from, it was almost impossible to believe that such a man let out the tiniest of ‘hi’ you way as he stood before you

“Oh hey, Jungkook” you could feel your cheeks redden by the second and it was hard to miss the bunny smile he threw your way, most probably at the increasing awkwardness thanks to the extending silence that grew between you, your wittiness and remaining brain cells leaving your body, making up the stupidest of excuses to run away from there “coffee, here”

Jungkook laughed an adorable laugh as he threw a “thank you Y/N, I’ll see you around” as you were already entering the studio.

“God I have to be the greatest idiot living on Earth” you muttered as you took a sip from your coffee

“Well, I’m certainly not denying that-” Yoongi turned around on his chair “Wait where’s my coffee?” your eyes widened at that and offered him your cup

“Take mine, I gave yours to Jungkook”

“You gave, my coffee to Jungkook? Do I even wanna know?” he gladly took you cup from your hands as you groaned in annoyance, would it be so bad to just let him know about your crush? if anything, he was the one to blame in the first place.

“Listen, I panicked okay?” as you cringed at the events from a few moments ago, Yoongi’s expression remained the same, unreadable.

He took another sip from the cup and began to talk “Okay first of, may I just say I absolutely adore this coffee” he made a dramatic pause, much to his teasing style “Second, you’re trying to tell me that you pushed a cup of coffee in Jungkook’s hands and then ran off?” a few of his word cut off from small laughs escaping his mouth “The great Y/N fell into the charms of Jeon Jungkook? man…”

You hid behind your hands as he kept going with his monologue of how the youngest member was taking over the hearts of everyone “I mean technically… this is your fault”

Yoongi gasped “Aishh… my fault?” he laughed, gummy smile showing “ Let’s just get to work, lover girl”

As much as he adored to tease you back for all the times you had teased him, the song wasn’t about to finish itself, or perhaps after all of this, he had just the right thing in mind to kill two birds with one stone.

･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆

Yoongi had texted you early in the morning to drop by the studio as early as possible, saying he was finally able to find that je ne sais quoi that was missing in your song, and so you happily obliged, Yoongi was an amazing producer and you couldn’t help but let your mind wander to all the possibilities, was it a change in key? or perhaps a new beat?

Your heart pounded the fastest it had ever beaten as you opened the door to the recording studio and your ears were filled with amazing vocals that belonged to none other than the dark-haired boy inside the booth, Jungkook.

“That was just amazing, you can come out Jungkook” Yoongi called from the mixing board

“What is this all about, Yoongi?” he smiled and turned to Jungkook as he made his way out and greeted you in the smallest voice possible, both your cheeks and his slightly pink.

“Oh, I’ll just Kookie here explain to you as I, Min Suga genius, get a very well deserved coffee” he patted the younger’s shoulder and soon disappeared through the door

Jungkook took a seat in the rolling chair and barely faced you as he scratched the back of his head, you not understanding a single thing of what was going on “Yoongi-hyung had this idea of mixing some hidden vocals and-” he raised his sight to watch your confused expression “yeah...I hope you don’t mind?”

You cleared your throat twice, in a failed attempt to calm yourself down “Not at all Kook, your vocals are not that bad- I mean, no, your vocals are amazing- they always are and...yeah, I’ll shut up now” you let out a breathy laugh, mentally hitting yourself in the head and wondered if there was any chance for earth to swallow you whole.

A few seconds went by of you roaming your eyes around the room, not having enough courage to meet his eyes, as the usual awkward silence filled the room until you felt his knee bump your own and felt his hand lift up your chin to meet his gaze, to which you were sure as hell he could now hear your heartbeat; the silence soon turned into a suffocating heat and mutual stolen glances to each other’s lips before he came closer and time seemed to slow down as you closed your eyes and felt his lips warm against your own, only to be met by nothingness and a closing door a few seconds after, when you opened your eyes again.

･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆

Your mind had gone blank after that kiss, you stopped going by the studio since you couldn’t quite wrap your mind around it, and you couldn’t raise enough courage to confront Jungkook about it.

One Sunday afternoon, there was a soft knock on your door, looking through the peephole twice, you couldn’t help a thousand thoughts running through your mind as you saw Jungkook standing on the other end of the door.

“Here” he shoved a small paper bag into your hands, just the way you had done that time with the coffee “Yoongi-hyung said they were your favourites and-” his eyes searched for your face and he sighed heavily “Y/N I’m so sorry for what happened the other day, I don’t know what got over me, I’ve just- I’ve liked you since the first day I saw you and-” you cut him off by standing on your tiptoes and placing a tender and quick kiss on his lips before both of you broke into a smile.

He wasted no time in placing both of his hands on your waist and deliver a series of pecks on your lips as he walked both of you into your apartment, making sure to shut the door before your body was pressed between the wall and his own, your hands quickly finding their way behind his neck in an attempt to bring him any closer, your mouths finding their way against each other at the increasing tension, the warmth of his lips making you weak on the knees, a small smile playing on both of your faces as he placed his forehead against yours, breathing heavily.

“Next time don’t run away from me,” you said looking into his eyes

“Wasn’t planning on doing that” his thumb started caressing your cheek as he leaned in once again and you laughed at how stupid you both had been.

#jungkook imagine #Jungkook oneshot #jungkook scenarios #bts imagines #bts headcanon #jungkook fanfic #jungkook drabble #jungkook one shot #bts one shot

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nanasarea · 4 years

Text

Sucker I xx (finale)

Prompt: Y/N attends a school for the supernatural, specifically: werewolves, witches and vampires. The school might be magic, but so is love, right? Right?

Genre: angst, fluff

Pairing: reader x 00 line (renjun special)

Inspired heavily by: Legacies (and The Vampire Diaries&The Originals)

a/n: Renjun best boy, here we go

main m.list / sucker m.list / i ii iii iv v vi vii viii ix x xi xii xiii xiv xv xvi xvii xviii xix xx

xx (jeno)

xx (jaemin)

xx (haechan)

xx (renjun)

“Mr Hwang?” Hana asked.

“I prefer Richard.” He answered, smiling.

“I thought she was dead.” You said, looking at the girl on his right.

“She was but then I got her turned.” Mr. Hwang, or should you say Richard said. With that, the events started playing in your head again.

“Wait.” Renjun said.

“If you’re going to go and do what Richard says, go ahead. If you’re going to go and do what Haechan says, be my guest, but what do you think will happen to you? You’re part werewolf, do you think Richard will just let you go like that? And Haechan, he’s blinded by dark magic, he’s not genuine. I saw the way you looked at each other and despite your humanity being turned off and him being intoxicated by dark magic, I could tell there was something there. Sure, he’s hot, but you shouldn’t pick him because of that. You heard the prophesy, do you really want to be responsible for so many more deaths?” Renjun asked.

You weren’t responsible for anyone’s death, she died because she was sent to be killed by you. There was no reason to feel guilty, no reason for your humanity to be turned off but most importantly, no reason why the whole werewolves race had to die.

“Mr. Hw-Richard, there’s no reason to do thi-” “Yes, there is, child. You see, werewolves are useless, their existence is probably god’s way to spite us all d-” Richard cut Renjun off but before he could finish his sentence, you did the same to him.

“Weren’t werewolves around before vampires?” You asked “Y/N-” “Renjun’s right. If you want all werewolves gone, you’re gonna have to get rid of me too, so why should I help you?” You asked.

“There’s no reason to get rid of them, the only one here we need to get rid of is you.” You added.

“Aww, so sweet, but that won’t stop me.” Richard said, rolling his eyes. “I can end you all if I wanted to.” He added.

“What did you need me for then?” Haechan asked, raising his hand before Richard compelled him to stop.

“Oh please, who’s next?” He asked.

“Another vampire?” he asked, looking at Chenle.

“A werewolf?” He asked, looking at Jisung.

“Possibly a witch?” he asked, looking at Haechan.

“Why not try all three?” You asked, using your super speed to take the dagger from one of the shelves and stab him with it.

The dagger wasn’t to harm Richard, it was just to put him in a deep sleep, until you figured out what to do about him, knowing any offensive magic wouldn’t be the answer, especially not after the shocking events that happened in such a short time.

You knew you couldn’t actually kill him anyway, and it’s not like he was dead either, he could come back to life if you pulled the dagger out.

Once you successfully took him down, you stopped and looked around. “I’ll go to the werewolves.” Jisung said, Mark and Chenle soon following after him.

“Great, what about Haechan?” Jaemin asked “Let’s hope we can siphon the dark magic out of him, yeah? Anyone have anything they won’t miss?” Minsoo asked as the girl stepped forward, handing him her ring.

“Ah good choice.” Minsoo said, smiling at her before placing it in Haechan’s hand. “Who says I want my dark magic gone?” Haechan asked.

“Me.” Jeno said as he placed his hand on Haechan’s shoulder. “It’s for the best and you know it.” He added as Haechan sighed.

Later that day, you thanked Renjun for turning your humanity on.

“It’s been a long day. You should get some sleep, sorry for everything I did before you helped me turn my humanity on again, thanks for that, by the way.” you said.

“I turned your humanity on?” he asked, blushing “Yeah.” You said, shyly looking for his reaction, the words he told Olor a while ago, replaying in his head.

“I’m in love with a woman I can never have. The point, I’m in love with her and its driving me crazy. I’m not in control. I have to stay together to protect her and she wants me to be the better man. Which means I can’t be who I am, a control freak who is a confused mess.” He wasn’t in control, far from it, but when he heard you tell him about the humanity, he couldn’t seem to care. All he cared about was you, so he moved closer while asking.

“Does that mean I’m your soulmate?” He asked “Pretty much.” You chuckled.

“Never knew the cute awkward guy who gave me a tour on the first day would end up being the reason I end up preventing the extinction of the werewolf race.” You said, smiling from remembering your first day.

“Oh, god, I was so awkward that day, but can you blame me? It’s not every day you get to test the cutest girl you’ve ever seen for what her supernatural background is.” He laughed, throwing his head back from embarrassment.

“Oh fuck it, I can’t wait any longer.” You said, causing Renjun to give you a confused look before you moved closer, grabbing him by his shirt and bringing him close enough to kiss him.

And with that, the events of that day are still a blur, not only to you, but to the others. Later on, you found out the girl was actually being compelled by the ring she gave Minsoo.

The ring they destroyed, and with it, all traces of Haechan’s dark magic, besides the front entrance, it was still being rebuilt as we speak. You also found out that she was actually really nice and that her name was Hyejoo, but she went by Olivia.

You and Renjun? You end up being the school’s cutest couple. Sure, you use to date like almost all of his friends, but he didn’t care, you were his now and that’s all that mattered. Besides, it’s not like much changed. You acted like you did before, when you were the best of friends, now you just so happen to make out and call each other over the top cheesy nicknames in a sarcastic manner.

Life finally felt right, like you were completed. Seeing Jeno and Jaemin fight over the last cookie, Olivia, Jisung and Chenle betting on Haechan, Mark and Minsoo’s competition on who can chug their bubble tea the fastest, Hana in Jisoo’s arms and you in Renjun’s as you watched it all go down. Life finally made sense for once and you knew this is where you were suppose to be.

True love will triumph in the end and maybe, platonic love like Jeno’s love for Haechan, family love like Minsoo’s love for Jisoo, romantic love like your love for Renjun, maybe, just maybe, all types of love save the day at the end, because even if this school is magic, so is love, right?

a/n: Renjun’s ending! I like this ending the most so far, I think. I enjoyed writing this part the most so I hope you liked it! It’s not as different as Nomin’s but Haechan’s part is still on it’s way so let’s hope his ending will be different enough haha.

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thebestplltheories · 6 years

Text

PLL The Perfectionists - 1x01 Pilot LIVE REACTION

WE ARE BACK!!!!

Ok I’m gonna do what I was doing for PLL where I react as I watch. But before I copy and paste the live reaction, I want to give my quick overview. That was by far a 10/10. That achieved everything a pilot should achieve. It introduced us to the characters, each of their stories, and the relationships each character has with one another. It set the overall tone, that this is a murder mystery with twists and turns to come. It established what the show is about. And it had occasional small shocks (I say small because there’s only so much that can be shocking in a pilot when everything is brand new). This was exponentially darker than the PLL pilot and for that I’m so grateful. We are cutting the high school airy-fairy (is that word used outside of Australia?) drama and going straight to scandals and a murder. I’m scared to see the ratings tomorrow because I want it to do well but hey it was trending worldwide on Twitter so that’s a good sign!? The show looks SO promising. I think I’m already in love with the cast. I just want to know more about everything and everyone and omg we are back!

LIVE THOUGHTS:

Love this intro! It sets the scene very well about the whole theme of perfectionism.

WAIT IS DYLAN PLAYING POKERFACE BY LADY GAGA HAHAHAHAHA

Okay sorry but that song ain’t it (“two can keep a secret if one of them is dead”). Why does it sound like an auto tuned choir? I’m happy for change. I actually don’t want the exact same version as the original series. But this one ain’t it. Is it too late to change it???

Wait, why is Alison walking around her new apartment like she’s walking around Jenna’s school for the blind in 710? If she lived 2 years of happiness and freedom of A, there’s no need to be so sceptical of danger every time you walk into a room. Anyway, doesn’t really matter.

Just the backing music throughout the scene is very PLL-esque! Yes, there is such thing as PLL backing music. And this is it.

Mona making a grand entrance!

I feel like Ali’s reaction to seeing Mona was a bit... underwhelming? If they haven’t seen each other in 2 years I expected a bit more of an “OMG”, and a “how did you get in my apartment”, etc. But they go straight to the point and cut the fluff so I don’t mind overall.

Mona recruited Ali. I knew it. And she works at BHU, we already knew that.

Emison is having trust issues. But she wants to do this for the kids. Ok I expected more detail there to satisfy the Emison shippers but whatever, I won’t cry at night.

Ok so Mary and Alex escaped Mona’s “dungeon”. That’s fine by me. Maybe that’ll be the storyline for a PLL movie later, who knows. It’s quite a vague answer but what did we expect... Mona to ADMIT to Ali that she captured her aunt? No. Mona could never explicitly say to Ali what she did. Hence the subtle pause before “... escaped me”. Only us the audience know the true meaning of that and I love how subtle yet meaningful it is.

Why do I feel like this security system is gonna play a massive toll throughout the entire series?

Loved the little Easter egg of seeing Mona, and Mona in the mirror (2 Mona’s). A subtle symbol/reference to her split personality in PLL.

I LOVED the scene of Ali teaching in the classroom! I got How To Get Away With Murder vibes...

Remember when we all thought Taylor’s death would be the main death of the show because of that memorial with her name on it... lol. Okay I’m calling it now... come back to this in the apparently mind blowing season 1 finale... Taylor isn’t really dead WE HAVENT TECHNICALLY SEEN A BODY

Love the complicated friendships going on between Dylan, Nolan, Ava, Caitlin! There’s a lot going on about faking being friends and faking tasks to uphold the image of being perfect. I love this theme and I feel like it’s super relevant to today’s world. Like especially social media. Everyone’s instagrams are always filled of their highs. And they’re mostly edited. No one ever posts/shares their low moments.

So no one knows of Ali’s past. Hmmm. We’ve had this discussion before, I don’t think it’s realistic that no one knows the name Alison DiLaurentis - surely that was on national news when “dead girl isn’t dead anymore” made headlines. But anyway. If they wanna pretend no one watches the news, it wouldn’t be the most unrealistic thing PLL has done.

Is Dylan the gay male character Marlene said she was going to introduce in PLL season 5B? Lmao about time.

WOW that flashback of Caitlin and Nolan just gave me PLL season 1 Alison flashback vibes! Nolan plays the bad manipulative guy so well just like Ali played the bully so well in flashbacks!

Two moms don’t make a right hahahaha who wrote that

Sofia looks FLAWLESS in the pool scene OH MY GODDD. AND her voice is so soothing what the hell

Love how the first scene of Nolan’s mother shows her standing on top of the staircase and the camera panning up. Great directing there. Showing she’ll be like a supreme leader. And then the camera being over her shoulders looking down on Nolan. Again great camera work which conveys the message that she is the boss of this town. I think she’ll be our new Jessica DiLaurentis lol

“I’d like some time for myself” ... “to do what?” OUCH why is that so iconic

Eli is... doing great. He comes across very confident. A star in the making?

Love the cinematography period. And Portland is beautiful!! Better than the Warner Bros lot.

Omg Nolan’s mother gathering “attractive” people for her photo op. Lol, they really are big on presenting a perfect image.

“You saw somebody else” NO CAITLIN, ALISON SAW YOU wow these kids will adamantly lie to uphold perfectionism. I keep saying that but I just love this theme!!!

“I know a little bit about manipulation” hahahahaha Ali

Omg Ali is so good at learning their lies. Of course she is, she’s had years of practice

The woods, Nolan? Nothing good ever happens in the woods.

Lol when Nolan tells Dylan to “kiss me” and Dylan actually contemplates it (and does it). That’s the type of power Nolan has over people.

I love how Ali is trying to help them! I can see a bond eventually forming here.

This scene where Nolan cheats on Ava isn’t shocking since they unfortunately shared it in the promos but hey a douche is a douche.

WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK IT’S TAYLOR WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOVE

OK I KNOW I GUESSED ALEX DRAKE BUT THIS IS A NEW RECORD FOR FASTEST THEORY TO COME TRUE

Well it wasn’t really a theory I was just joking that she’s not really dead because we didn’t see a body but still do I get a point? Lmao

Nonetheless that shocked me! I love that they’re trying to take down their own family, that’s so dark and it’s only episode 1!

Yes Alison is already getting suspicious. Solve this one please Ali

Sorry I put my phone down during that scene in the woods. I just knew it would be juicy and I wanted to immerse in it properly. I frickin adore this scene. It’s creepy in tone, set in the woods like classic PLL, they’re referring to Ali like a friend and my PLL heart is content, and this is the first time they’re all bonding over one thing: wanting Nolan dead. This is probably my favourite scene in the whole episode.

So I’m guessing the vibes are that they were being recorded in the woods about how they want Nolan to be killed? But didn’t Nolan turn off the security?

Mona gets in her car and chucks a big bag in the back seat. Where was she and what was in the baggggg

Ok that was a bit dramatic Ali (“why am I really here”)

Lol I had to rewatch that for a sec. I thought Ali said “and his dead sister who I just saw pick him up” and I was like wait what Ali knows Taylor’s alive??? No, “dead sister who I just saw a picture of”.

OH MY GOD WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY!!!! THAT SCENE WHERE THE 3 OF THEM ARE WALKING AWAY FROM EACH OTHER... NOLAN’S BODY SHOULD’VE FALLEN TO THE GROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM RIGHT THERE! That would’ve been iconic. Like “oh well we were just kidding about all that, good night xx” then nope bam dead body. But I guess he had to die with poles through his chest as Caitlin said.

Oh Marlene. That’s a LOT of dialogue for a death scene. I hope you can back up and explain what Nolan is talking about before he died. Don’t you dare tell me that was an interpretative dream. Again that’s a lot of dialogue for a death scene. You better know who that killer is Marlene! Don’t make it up the day you write the finale!

I don’t like how we didn’t see Nolan ACTUALLY be killed. They play it safe because they don’t want to show us the killer in action. they basically copied the format of Mona’s “death”. Just change the scene to a flashing ambulance with a lame transition lol.

Another missed opportunity. Mona should’ve said to Ali “they found a body”! That would’ve been iconic in every way possible. First it was Ali’s body now Ali is finding a body and hearing the news and ugh oh well

My god that’s a violent death. And pretty early in the series for a Noel-Khan-level death. Too bad the photos leaked online and we knew that Nolan would not only die, but die like THAT. Those extras/fillers on set really should get charged for having their phones on them and leaking shit. Isn’t there copyright laws or something???? idk

Ummmmmm what? What kind of sci-fi, dollhouse level bullshit is that? That’s kinda over the top. Ehhhh. We’ll see where that goes.

My brain right now instantly got to thinking if Nolan’s murderer will be the “A” of the series or if the killer will just be the main mystery for season 1? Is “who killed Nolan” going to be the overarching story of the entire show or will they answer that sooner rather than later and then start a new mystery? I wonder what the format of this show will be. That’s where my mind is right now as the credits play.

#PLL #pretty little liars #pll the perfectionists #the perfectionists #pll theories #plltp #tp #alison dilaurentis #pretty little liars theories

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thejazzvoid · 5 years

Note

Oh and for the ask meme, all of them

...Oh dear. Well, anyway, here they are, I suppose?

I (Where did you hide the body?): In plain sight.

II (Favorite rock?): Chalcedony, most likely, partially because hhh cool rock, partially because of Elizabeth Bear’s story “Tideline,” and partially because the name just sounds cool.

III (Worst dream you ever had?): The first one I could think of was one in which I was trying to hide from something or other and ended up trapped in my backyard; also spiders had begun emerging from my hands.

IV (Answer this with a lyric from the first song that comes to your mind.): I want a love that falls as fast as a body from a balcony; I want a kiss like my heart is hitting the ground (from “Townie” by Mitski).

V (Does blood make you uncomfortable?): It honestly depends on the context, but not just seeing it.

VI (Even numbers or odd numbers?): Odd numbers, I’d have to say.

VII (Something you hate that you love?): Homestuck.

VIII (The first initial of someone you hate?): B.

IX (Make up an acrostic for the word “exsanguinate.”): (Based on the TMA episode “Blood Bag” because it seemed fitting and I didn’t have any other ideas)

Entomology led me here, to my likely e-

Xit from this room within the

Stomachs of thousands of mosquitoes,

And

Nothing seems to

Go right; go right—it’s the fastest way out, and

Underneath ceiling panels,

I am bled dry, and

No one else is

Around;

They’re already out there, and

Entomology led me here.

X (Do you enjoy corndogs?): Not really?

XI (Favorite movie from the year 2005?): I suppose I’d have to choose “Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire.”

XII (Least favorite music genre?): Most modern country music.

XIII (Have any terrible restaurant experiences?) Yes, if by “terrible restaurant experiences,” you mean “the result of other unrelated turmoil unfolding within the confines of a restaurant.”

XIV (Three things that you would never want to come near you?):

i) The sun, or any other star, for that matter.

ii) The remaining smallpox viruses still in containment.

iii) The supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy.

XV (What is the worst way for you to die? [In your opinion]): Buckle up, kids, this is going to get detailed. So, let’s say that I’ve uncovered something significant that could right some wrongs and provide information that a lot of people need.

Before I can release my findings, though, or prepare for my likely neutralization, I’m abducted and recognize some of my captors as acquaintances or loved ones. After days of coercion, I make up information on the whereabouts of several important figures and/or my friends. My abductors know that none of this is true, and they tell me.

I am violated repeatedly, shot, then set alight. Somehow, my death is covered up or framed as suicide. None of my discoveries ever reach their intended audience.

XVI (Any unusual habits?): I tend to flap my hands when I’m excited or stressed?

XVII (One emoji that you probably have never used?): 📟; I’m not quite sure what it’s meant to be.

XVIII (Write a three-sentence horror story about a Gatorade bottle.): My mother told me never to leave food in my tent while camping. Tonight, however, I kept a bottle of Gatorade half-closed next to my sleeping bag. I woke to a decaying hand shredding the side of my tent and a long, hollow-eyed face softly groaning above my own.

XIX (Do you know what Old Bay is?): Do you?

XX (Can you dance?): I’m a fairly good dancer.

XXI (What first comes to mind when you see rope?): The figure-eight follow-through knot, for some reason.

XXII (Make an obscure reference.): What happened in Piedmont will hopefully stay in Piedmont or eventually mutate into a non-virulent form.

XXIII (What is your favorite color for a balloon?): Yellow or teal, most likely.

XXIV (If you were to ever go to court, would you more likely be guilty or innocent?): Depends on the crime, my guy.

XXV (Are you hungry?): No.

XXVI (Do you have an unlucky number?): 7.

XXVII (What does “JMD” stand for?): The Oxford Dictionary says it’s “Jamaican Dollars.”

XXVIII (Random inside joke?): This vanity’s real picturesque.

XXIX (What sends chills up your spine?): Whenever I stand in this one spot outside my house, I just kind of reflexively shudder for some reason.

XXX (How many questions are currently in your inbox?): 2.

XXXI (Someone real who scares you?): This might not technically be someone, but the fact that Disney has the influence that it has?

XXXII (Run or hide?): Hiding, most likely, because you can hide indefinitely, with any luck.

XXXIII (Who is the last person who mad you angry?): Jeff Bezos.

XXXIV (What’s going on in your head?): ...I don’t know; I just work here.

XXXV (One little thing that makes you smile?): Moss.

XXXVI (Are you a decisive person?): Not really, but I’m working on it.

XXXVII (Would people describe you as a paranoid person?): A year ago, definitely, but not so much now.

XXXVIII (What store would you be the least likely to be found in?): I have been many places, but I’ve never once seen a Sam’s Club, no matter how many signs I see for them, and I have no real interest in seeking one out.

XXXIX (Do you like hats? If so, what’s your favorite type?): Yes; I don’t know what my favorite type of hat would be, but my favorite hat is this massive orange sun-hat that makes me feel like some kind of reclusive artist/former socialite.

XL (Bowties or ties?): Ties.

XLI (Who?): The friends we made along the way.

XLII (What?): Oh, you know,,, ;)

XLIII (Where?): The Taco Bell parking lot.

XLIV (When?): The witching hour.

XLV (Why?): For love and for spite.

XLVI (How?): Duct tape and a fire within.

XLVII (Do you collect anything?): Tiny containers.

XLVIII (What time is it?): As I type this, 12:04 p.m.

XLIX (Favorite mode of transportation?): Bus, walking, or “Castle in The Sky”-type airship.

L (Would you ever kill someone to save someone else?): It depends.

LI (Make a joke.): Contrary to popular belief, magic actually does abide by mathematical principles—hexponents.

LII (.esrever ni gnihtemos etirW): Rats live on no evil star.

LIII (Would your dash be considered SFW?): Yes, for the most part.

LIV (Do you like to cuddle?): Heck yeah, my dude.

LV (What makes you angry?): Late-stage capitalism and the texture of Jell-O.

LVI (How many voices are in your head?): I don’t think in auditory words, exactly; it’s more a Strange Cloud Of Ideas and at least one song playing the background.

LVII (Do you consider yourself mentally stable?): Honestly, I’m not sure. I’ve been doing better than I have been in a while, but it’s still some kind of time.

LVIII (Are you easily offended?): If the comment or whatever it is is directed at me exclusively, no, but if it’s meant to target other people as well, then I suppose so.

LIX (What’s wrong with taking the backstreets?): You’ll never know if you don’t go.

LX (Any questions you want people to ask you?): Be needlessly ominous. Ask me to write short horror stories. Confess your feelings for me. That kind of stuff.

#yeet #cw death #cw spiders #ask #cw horror #cw smallpox #cw mosquitoes #cw blood

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gg-astrology · 6 years

Text

Astrology Readings 💕

💕Hello! I've decided to start a little commissioning page incase anyone is interested in getting one! If you've enjoyed the way I've interpreted charts or just my personal tid bits on how the signs work, please feel free to message to get more information on doing yours! 💕

🚫Notice: Please be 18+ !! 🚫

STATUES: CLOSED

*stay tuned for when it’s opened again! 💕

Paypal Link 💕

*USD price and whatever it converts to in THB is fine!

WHAT I OFFER 💕:

💕FULL DISCLOSURE: These are rough sketches of work I'll be offering, if you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask/dm me on the Tumblr direct messages (@thechopkins)! I have my prices fairly cheap since I’m a novice and I’m just doing this for practice, I’ll let you know if I’ve raised the price or if I’m not taking commissions anymore. But I hope to be able to do this as a side hobby for people to learn more about astrology! 💕

PERSONAL READINGS 💕 (needs birth time):

Brief Natal Readings ($10)

(I'll be talking about the things that stood out: your chart shape *if there’s a significance, aspect patterns. Going through your houses and placements one by one, your axis, usually touch decans if I feel we need a closer look at things. Definitely includes asteroids: Juno | Ceres | Pallas | Chiron | Vesta | Lilith | Eros )

I like having a conclusion at the end, something to tie everything together. Usually with these Brief Natal Reading there’ll be a ‘summary’ at the beginning of the reading as well-- to give you a guide of what we got/what to look for, and then we dive into the analysis as we go.

It’s usually around hmm, 30-40 pages? I write in bullet points so that might be why, it’s just easier to read and see that way.)

FULL Natal Readings ($20)

Everything included in the above, but with these: I like to give a further analysis into it as well.

I usually go for looking at your Rulers-- Chart Rulers, House Rulers, explain your Empty Houses. I take a look at your Draconic's, Whole House (if it makes more sense) Side-reels if it helps. I try to be?? thorough about it?? And explain things carefully if you’re new or need a lil more tutorial or guidance.

Ahhh most people like knowing their dominants, so I include that (full disclaimer it’s the walter-pullen method) --- but I’ll clearly tell you that ‘it’s just for fun’.

I think one thing I should mention about this is that--- it can get pretty intense? And serious?? So usually when we talk/get started I’ll ask if you’re comfortable with me hitting on xx subject, and if you’re uncomfortable with it for any reason at all please tell me so I can move around it and give you the things you need without hitting a sensitive subject. 💕

Usually takes longer to make, I also answer questions you might want to ask. Anything that could potentially be in your chart? There’s a Q&A section if you want.

For those who might want a narrative guide to what each sign does, what each axis, asteroid does. I also have an appendix you can use, but tell me if you’re interested (it’s 20 pages in total so oof) - approx. 60-100 pages? That’s like-- without the appendix.

Note: If you’re interested in Natal Readings here is an answered ask on the Content Outline of What I provide In Further Details

Solar Return Reading -- $15

(It’s always nice to understand how this year is gonna go. Or maybe just this period in your life if you’re having a hard time/want to experiment? I offer these readings as kind of like, a birthday present for yourself. I guess this is what ‘2019 Horoscope’ kinda deal but actually based on your birthchart so it’s ksdjnfkskn probably more personal to you --- approx 15+pages)

Draconic Chart Reading - $15

(For those who wants to get to know their draconics and maybe how to incorporate it into their lives? I look at the Draconic overlaid over the Natal since it gives a lot more insights of how to work with the above and below layers? I know, it sounds mystic as shit but honestly I?? love draconics?? And I rec everything who ever talks to me to go read theirs?? -- Approx 10+ pages )

Brief Persona Reading ($8)

(I have to warn you that I’m still a novice, but I think practice makes perfect. So I’ll be offering only a brief interpretation of reading your persona chart, you can choose which chart you want me to read and I’ll do my best to interpret everything together in the most cohesive way possible -- approx 4 pages +, definitely low balling, just in case there’s a specific q you want answers to and I don’t have much to write about it since its already in the placement ;; I learnt from my mistakes skdjnfskn)

RELATIONSHIPS READINGS 💕 :

Note: This is for non-idol aka your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner or crush you have a BIRTHTIME with

Synastry Readings ($20)

(I’ve been looking to do some Overlays for a while, so this is where I spend my energy! We’ll look at houses overlays, aspects and your individual want/needs/charts as well. Since the latter is pretty important, it’ll include a brief ‘overview’ for you both individually if you haven’t done a natal reading with me before. Nevertheless, this can be romantic, sexual, platonic, friends, siblings, parent-child, co-workers, classmates. Any relationship you want-- as long as you tell me so I know what I’m looking for/at -- approx 12+ )

Composite Reading ($15)

(This is different from a synastry because composite reading looks at the tonality/dynamic of the relationship overall! 💕 It’s not just trying to mesh two different people together and try to fit them into each other, it’s looking at how they interact with each other and the tone of their relationship. It’s really nice and fun to read, I recommend getting this one as well since it’s abit cheaper than the synastry one ya know - approx 12+)

IDOL READINGS/SHIPS/GROUPS 💕:

MTL - *cap. at 13 members ($10)

Note: If you’re interested in an Outline for MTL readings here’s an answered ask that briefly explains what’s included

4 rankings (one conclusive one and 3 to start off with) because You Always Want To Know What Kind of Dynamic You Can Have With Someone In Full Details -- Platonic, Nemesis or Otherwise.

So I give you 3 rankings (no, trust me it’s NOT an overkill) -- and then we talk about Each Member and Your Aspects With Them. I’ll explain how the dynamic works, the little things about it to overall themes between you. Compare it to other members as we go so you get a cohesive idea of how you fit between all the members (kinda like, compare yourself to them as well).

And then we have a conclusive-- which I give you the last Rank (after the analysis) and explain briefly why I choose that order. You Will See.

Takes like, a day to finish. The Fastest out of all my readings (a day for 7 members, I’m not sure about more than that yet -- 20+ pages)

Compatibility Reading: 1 selected member ($ 15)

DISCLAIMER: It's all fun and games but please remember that your development is most important and no matter how fruitful or positive this dynamic might be, if you don't work on yourself then it's going to be harder to accomplish this 'potential' that you have. Also please don't feel discouraged to ask for the members you think you might not have compatibility with, as long as you like them or your curious, perhaps this can be a new way of looking past archetypes of the signs and help you gain hope in your shared dynamic

I’m gonna be honest with you, sometimes I’ve done reading where the compatibility isn’t positive but I’ll do my best to pull some of it out and give you advice. If I feel really really bad, I include ‘other placements’ that might be good for you instead (or do a little ranking list with the other members so you can feel better with the ‘see and compare’ -- I just don’t want you to feel sad if the outcome isn’t what you wanted ;;

The fun of THIS one tho is that we can look at how THEIR planet falls into YOUR house and how it might conjunct stuff (esp asteroid or axis) and tweak it around 💕 Since we usually don’t have their birthtimes however, we can’t look at how you would impact/fall into their houses. 💕Approx 8+ pages (low-balling, just incase-- y know, some people just don’t have many aspects?? ;; it happens)

HOW IT GOES 💕:

If you’re interested, here’s some directions on how to contact me! 💕

Please send a direct messaging (chat-system) to @thechopkins 💕(Since this blog has an editor/member besides me, we can’t use the messaging system right now) 💕

PS. If you’re not sure what exactly you’re looking fo, we can figure it out together as well ;; 💕

If you already know what you’re going for, I'll let you know what I’m (possibly) backed up on or if I can get started right away 💕 And then I’ll ask for your birth day, birth place and if possible your most accurate birth time! 💕

Once I have your information/type of reading, I’ll let you know how long it’ll take (since sometimes I’m stocked up, I don’t want you to wait/get anxious about it so you can just tell me!) --- and I’ll make your chart, confirm it with you again so you can check if anything’s amiss (sometimes people are -- specific about that) 💕

I’ll go over the questions, like if you have a preferred name/pronouns, if you’re comfortable with sexual stuff, sensitive stuff. 💕I’ll double check again throughout the reading when I touch on it, especially since some might be--- really sensitive and I just want to see if you’re doing ok/need some comfort in your reading about how to get better (I usually include like, little advice/productive things you can do anyways) 💕

I’m good at--- well, talking to you when I’m working. So most likely you WILL know that I’m working on your chart because I Will Be Constantly Talking To You The Entire Time 💕

Ah, and I usually insist you don’t pay me until I finish the reading. I’ll tell you when I do, and then I take payment through paypal 💕

After that, I’ll ask for your email and send you a lil message and the PDF reading 💕

If you want it in any other format, feel free to let me know! 💕

💕That’s all I have for now! Again, I’m still a novice at astrology so all that I’m offering is just my experience/interpretations and current knowledge in the field.

If you’re looking for a traditional/someone who has been working in the field for longer than a few years, I can recommend/point you to a few astrologers who might be interested! 💕

Generally I'm pretty enthusiastic about learning/talking about astrology, I’m not really doing this professionally, but if you feel like it’s easier to talk to me/want some help, I talk on my dm pretty often so feel free to drop by and I’ll do my best! 💕

46 notes · View notes

friedtyrantllama · 3 years

Text

What is Soapstone Market Share ?

With the increasing popularity of soapstone, many are getting interested to invest in soapstone market. For soapstone, it is a natural stone that can withstand any soap-based contamination such as grease, detergents, soap, and oil. This stone has been found useful in soapstone market for several years already.

The soapstone market is considered to be one of the fastest growing industries today. If you are planning to invest on soapstone, then you can expect to make money in the near future. However, before you purchase soapstone, it is important that you have to know first some soapstone market trends. By knowing these soapstone market trends, you will be able to determine the best type of soapstone that is right for you. Here are the soapstone market statistics for soapstone market research.

Currently, there is a major shift happening in soapstone market share. Whereas, in the past few years, soapstone production came to be dominated by a handful of soapstone manufacturers, these days there are hundreds of soapstone manufacturers around the world. This means that the competition is getting tougher.

Most soapstone market share is sold in Asia. Most of the soapstone manufacturers source their raw materials from countries like Brazil, India, and Indonesia. Due to the recent economic slowdown in these countries, there is a growing demand for soapstone in Asian countries like India and China. Due to this increase in soapstone market in Asia, competition between soapstone manufacturers' are getting tough.

Currently, China and India account for almost 95% of soapstone market share. In recent years, a number of soapstone manufacturers' from Europe, the United States, and Japan have decided to source most of their raw materials from places like Indonesia and Brazil instead of the Asian countries. Europe and the United States are already making inroads into the soapstone market in Asia.

In Indonesia, there is a very high rate of soapstone production. This is mainly because the government has allowed private soapstone manufacturers to set up business freely. With the current state of the economy in Indonesia, the government does not interfere with soapstone production too much. The soapstone market in Indonesia will continue to increase as more soapstone manufacturers move to set up business freely in the country.

There are some soapstone market segments that are still experiencing strong demand in the soapstone market. One segment that is experiencing strong demand is the soapstone kitchenware. Currently, there are a lot of soapstone manufacturers in the world that have made inroads into the soapstone kitchenware segment. In fact, some manufacturers have already established a strong presence in the soapstone market in major cities in Asia like Hong Kong and Kuala Lumpur. In these cities, there are already a lot of soapstone restaurants and specialty stores.

Another soapstone market segment experiencing strong demand is the soapstone blocks. Although, it was already gaining popularity as fireplaces and hearth accessories, soapstone blocks are now starting to make a steady surge in the soapstone market share in the home. There are still a lot of soapstone blocks manufacturers in the world, but there are now more manufacturers who are focused more on producing customized soapstone blocks. For example, there are now soapstone block manufacturers in Hong Kong that produce soapstone blocks with different designs and style. Most soapstone blocks come in traditional designs and patterns, which are also gaining popularity.

The soapstone kitchenware is also gaining its soapstone market share in the home. It is said that soapstone is resistant to heat, has good thermal conductivity and is non-toxic. Hence, soapstone is being used for making soapstone grills and other accessories that can be used in soapstone stoves.

Now, that you are aware of soapstone's advantages, it is time to talk about disadvantages. Well, unfortunately, soapstone has its disadvantages. One of them is its price. As you may know, soapstone is a very expensive material and this fact alone makes it out of reach of many soapstone market entrepreneurs. Unfortunately, soapstone also has natural weaknesses that make it susceptible to cracking and breaking. Cracking is the weak point of soapstone, so if you want to have your soapstone stove or soapstone fireplace, make sure that you buy the right kind of soapstone for that.

That was some information on soapstone. I hope you found it informative. So, soapstone market share is not dead! You just need to know how to properly handle it and where to get quality materials for your soapstone stove. Good luck.

Summary

Further key aspects of the report indicate that:

Chapter 1: Research Scope: Product Definition, Type, End-Use & Methodology

Chapter 2: Global Industry Summary

Chapter 3: Market Dynamics

Chapter 4: Global Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use

Chapter 5: North America Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use

Chapter 6: Europe Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use

Chapter 7: Asia-Pacific Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use

Chapter 8: South America Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use

Chapter 9: Middle East and Africa Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use.

Chapter 10: Market Competition by Companies

Chapter 11: Market forecast and environment forecast.

Chapter 12: Industry Summary.

The global Soapstone market has the potential to grow with xx million USD with growing CAGR in the forecast period from 2021f to 2026f. Factors driving the market for @@@@@ are the significant development of demand and improvement of COVID-19 and geo-economics.

Based on the type of product, the global Soapstone market segmented into

Granules

Powder

Based on the end-use, the global Soapstone market classified into

Paper Making

Rubber and Plastic

Pharmaceutical

Wash and Make-up

Paint and Ceramics

Others

Based on geography, the global Soapstone market segmented into

North America [U.S., Canada, Mexico]

Europe [Germany, UK, France, Italy, Rest of Europe]

Asia-Pacific [China, India, Japan, South Korea, Southeast Asia, Australia, Rest of Asia Pacific]

South America [Brazil, Argentina, Rest of Latin America]

Middle East & Africa [GCC, North Africa, South Africa, Rest of Middle East and Africa]

And the major players included in the report are

Golcha Group

Golcha Associated

Jai Group

Associated Soapstone Distributing

Udaipur Mineral Development Syndicate

Rajasthan Minerals

Ratanlal Deedwaniya

Katiyar Mining & Industrial

Levantina

GEM Granite and Soapstone

Cosentino

Susquehanna Marble & Granite

Antolini

Polycor

Coldspring

KSG

Talcxiangyang

0 notes

gb9525295 · 3 years

Text

What is Soapstone Market Share?

Soapstone Market Share

With the increasing popularity of soapstone, many are getting interested in investing in the soapstone market. For soapstone, it is a natural stone that can withstand any soap-based contamination such as grease, detergents, soap, and oil. This stone has been found useful in the soapstone market for several years already.

Most soapstone market share is sold in Asia. Most of the soapstone manufacturers source their raw materials from countries like Brazil, India, and Indonesia. Due to the recent economic slowdown in these countries, there is a growing demand for soapstone in Asian countries like India and China. Due to this increase in the soapstone market in Asia, competition between soapstone manufacturers' are getting tough.

Another soapstone market segment experiencing strong demand is the soapstone blocks. Although it was already gaining popularity as fireplaces and hearth accessories, soapstone blocks are now starting to make a steady surge in the soapstone market share in the home. There are still a lot of soapstone blocks manufacturers in the world, but there are now more manufacturers who are focused more on producing customized soapstone blocks. For example, there are now soapstone block manufacturers in Hong Kong that produce soapstone blocks with different designs and styles. Most soapstone blocks come in traditional designs and patterns, which are also gaining popularity.

Summary

Further key aspects of the report indicate that:

Chapter 1: Research Scope: Product Definition, Type, End-Use & Methodology

Chapter 2: Global Industry Summary

Chapter 3: Market Dynamics

Chapter 4: Global Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use

Chapter 5: North America Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use

Chapter 6: Europe Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use

Chapter 7: Asia-Pacific Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use

Chapter 8: South America Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use

Chapter 9: Middle East and Africa Market Segmentation by region, type and End-Use.

Chapter 10: Market Competition by Companies

Chapter 11: Market forecast and environment forecast.

Chapter 12: Industry Summary.

Based on the type of product, the global Soapstone market segmented into

Granules

Powder

Based on the end-use, the global Soapstone market classified into

Paper Making

Rubber and Plastic

Pharmaceutical

Wash and Make-up

Paint and Ceramics

Others

Based on geography, the global Soapstone market segmented into

North America [U.S., Canada, Mexico]

Europe [Germany, UK, France, Italy, Rest of Europe]

Asia-Pacific [China, India, Japan, South Korea, Southeast Asia, Australia, Rest of Asia Pacific]

South America [Brazil, Argentina, Rest of Latin America]

Middle East & Africa [GCC, North Africa, South Africa, Rest of Middle East and Africa]

And the major players included in the report are

Golcha Group

Golcha Associated

Jai Group

Associated Soapstone Distributing

Udaipur Mineral Development Syndicate

Rajasthan Minerals

Ratanlal Deedwaniya

Katiyar Mining & Industrial

Levantina

GEM Granite and Soapstone

Cosentino

Susquehanna Marble & Granite

Antolini

Polycor

Coldspring

KSG

Talcxiangyang

0 notes

aviationfiction · 7 years

Text

Dante St. James

The dewy morning breeze heightened the vicious round of goosebumps that tortuously trickled onto every aspect aspect of my skin leaving me to quietly berate myself into refraining from shamelessly rubbing my hands on just about every part of myself. My fingers nervously tugged at the waist band of the dusk grey Nike running shorts I’d chosen for this morning festivity and instinctively my eyes panned over to who has effortlessly conquered every lobe of my brain. As one earbud rested properly inside of her ear and the other loosely hung in front of her body, I followed the thick black wire’s trail until my vision set onto the two soft and delicate aspects of her womanhood as they rested in the confines of a fuchsia and sunset orange sports bra; both natural and perfectly molded to her beautiful form. As she mumbled along to Stevie Wonder, she looked over her shoulder and politely gifted me with a small smile to make sure I was reminded that she was aware of me and she knocked out every bit of breath I had remaining in my body as she slouched forward and bent over far enough to lock her hands around her ankles. I focused on the deepened arch in her back and eventually tormented myself with the velvety, curved, and plumpness that gracefully rested just below it. My face contorted into a grimace and utter shock filled my frame as I lost the fight to glance away from her. I’ve never objectified a woman to this magnitude but in my defense I have never in my twenty eight years of living seen a woman like this. She is not fair to the human race. She is the cause for a war; serving as the undeniable demise of a million men. Her sun kissed skin gleams brighter than the finest gold and her intoxicating olive and honey eyes, serve as her weapons; weakening all who dares to stare into them for a lengthy period of time. Every aspect of her body is sculpted to perfection. She serves as a paragon of the higher power’s capabilities and showmanship. She is the personification of his excellency.

“Why aren’t you stretching? Wouldn’t want you to cramp up.” As she slowly eased herself up out of the position, my salacious thoughts halted. To mimic what she began to do, I pulled my leg back until the heel of my foot was touching the back of my knee.

“I believe I should be alright. I will have already beat you before anything begins to cramp or ache.” A scoff slipped past her glossed lips and she playfully rolled her eyes while transitioning into stretching the other leg.

“Yeah, okay. Being a basketball player and a track star aren’t equivalent. Speaking of, did you play ball in high school?” As she bopped her head from side to side, the loose ends of her high ponytail swung in all directions. Stretching went out of the window. The top of her slightly bounced to whatever beat that was blaring into one of her ears as the lower half swayed back and forth in a manner that was sexier to me than it should have been.

“I didn’t play when I was in school. I played for summer leagues my uncle registered me for throughout the city. I played recreationally at the Boys & Girls Club in Brooklyn and I continued to do that until my adulthood.”

“I see. So that means you’re skilled?”

“I’m skilled enough to bust Fred and Mike’s asses regularly and I suppose I’m good enough to win some two on two games whenever we have them at the court.” We smirked simultaneously, as she pulled her loose long ponytail through her hand to smooth it out to her taste.

“Alright, so you remember the exact directions for this race right? We’re just running all the way up Truman Drive, we’re going to turn around at the top of the street, and run all the way back to this point. Got it?”

“Sounds fair enough to me. You ready?” As I mentally measured the distance of the street itself, I properly stood along side her for a fair start and chuckled as she continued to steal competitive glances at me. Concurrently, we both leaned down and properly aligned our heads and necks and I mimicked her by raising my hips to a position above my shoulders. It baffles me that she’s never run school or professional track a day in her life because she looks like a professional along side a shameful amateur such as myself.

“I am. On your mark. Get set. Go.”

Autumn took off and I purposefully lagged behind her for what was supposed to be a bit of teasing and sheer amusement for myself, but it turned into nothing more than an unexpected distraction as I gawked at her body from behind. The bouncing of her ponytail was nothing in comparison to what was happening below her waistline and I nearly tripped myself as I purposely sprinted ahead of her to end the visual and cease those thoughts.

Though she was just about on the heels of my Nikes, I made the turn at the top of the street as she directed and took a decent lead until I was finally at the start point of our humorous little race. As I slouched over, I couldn’t help but to laugh at the expression of disbelief on her face as she did her best to catch her breath. I almost thought she was aiming to take the sore loser route until a smirk began to dance along her lips and she amusingly shook her head in acceptance of her defeat. If only she knew that she could have easily dusted me had I not been running the fastest I’ve ran since I was a young boy hanging around outside. I sprinted past her for the sake of my sanity and remained in the lead because I couldn’t bare the levels of lust formulating within me. The adrenaline pumping through me isn’t by my own doing. She’s the cause and effect of that and if she knew, I’d be the butt of her jokes forever.

“So where’s this iHop that you spoke about?” As I stood up straight, she playfully rolled her eyes in response to my question and paused whatever song she’d been listening to from her iPhone.

“I’m not taking you to iHop. I’m going to prepare the breakfast myself if that’s okay with you.” My eyes widened at her revelation and I quickly nodded in agreement with the idea. I hadn’t expected her to offer to cook anything for me nor did I expect her to allow me into her home. Though she instructed me to park in the driveway, she was already outside waiting for me so there was no reason to offer me entry. I figured we’d throw on jackets and take our sweaty frames to the nearest restaurant for quick bite to eat and part ways. This is a plot twist that I can appreciate.

“No one’s home. My father’s in D.C. for something work related and my mother is out there for some type of summit or conference at Howard University. I’m assuming they’re most likely going to stay an extra day or two to do their romantic thing and return home. So yeah, it’s just me here today.” As we walked along, she snickered. “Why am I making it sound like I’m sneaking you in? I’m sounding so hot in the pants teen right now.”

“Well. Are you sneaking me in?” I teased her and smirked when she widened her eyes at the question. She then lightly smacked her hand into my arm.

“No. It just makes me think of the movie ATL when Lashonate’s character Tonya says to T.I.’s character Rashad look my momma not home, you want to give me a ride? And then Rashad says man your momma ain’t never home. You remember that?” I haven’t heard of the movie nor seen it. I knew Tip was into acting but I never had an interest in seeing him do it. I’d rather be a fan of his music; mostly the earlier work. This is the second time I’m hearing that Lashonte name from someone. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen anything she’s acted in before.

“No. I’ve never seen that.”

“My God, Dante. What do you watch when you’re at home chilling? You better not say House Of Cards either.”

“Honestly, I like the old television shows more than I like the current ones so when I am watching television, if it’s not the news or sports, I’m watching Martin, The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, Living Single, or The Wayans Bros. I occasionally check out The Cosby Show. I like the Jeffersons, Good Times, and Sanford and Son. I don’t mind the repeats or anything like that. All of those shows still entertain me all the same and do the trick when I want some entertainment while lying in bed or having a bite to eat while at home.” I glanced in her direction as she nodded her head. “I’m assuming you’re more of a wide range television watcher?”

“Well, I suppose so. What else is there to do when you’re sick and cannot do anything but lie around in bed? Television was my entertainment for quite some time; not just here. It was also my entertainment while I was in Miami. At least here, I live with my parents so the house isn’t so quiet all the time. Not only that, but there are also at least two people here that I can speak to. In Miami? My God. There was a point when I thought I’d go crazy and start speaking to the walls or the many fixtures throughout the house. I used to cut the television on in the master bedroom, living room, as well as the den so that the house wouldn’t be so damn quiet while I was in there alone. I’d watch all kinds of shit whenever I was bored and didn’t have anywhere to go. Old, new. Hell, I watched shows about nonsense that I wasn’t even interested in. I did whatever I could to cure the boredom at home and then post stroke.” Once she opened the door, she stepped aside and granted me entry into her home and like anyone unfamiliar with a territory would do, I began to observe the beautiful ambiance.

“You had the stroke here in Jersey?” A family portrait aligned perfectly with the satin wenge hall table under it. All five family members were in it. I was the first time I saw Shane as an adult and with that one photo, I could easily see the tight knit relationship between he and his younger sister, as she cheerily leaned into his body and rested her head against his own. Everyone looked genuinely happy in the photo; even the dreadfully earnest Issac. The striking family looks like something out of a catalog; maybe for Bloomingdales or something simpler like The Gap. They’re the family that immediately draws you in during a holiday commercial.

“Yes. Right here.” She pointed at the floor of the very area we were standing it and we briefly stared at it before our eyes locked on one another. “It started off as an intense headache. I’d been crying that day. Actually, no, I’m being modest. I was a mess. Between mourning my brother and having been recently served those divorce papers, I was having one hell of a meltdown that spiraled out of control. Honestly, all I remember is everything going dark. I thought I’d finally met death.” My stomach tightened at the sound of such a final word and she turned away to continue to guide me through their home. We passed what I assume to be a sitting room that is there simply for show rather than to lounge in. The completely white and glass interior were a clear giveaway. A large portrait of their fallen son and brother was by far the most solemn and yet most important aspect of it.

“Did you want to die?” Silence fell between two of us as my question deepened the depth that I’d absentmindedly treaded into. I’ve had these questions lingering on my mind for the past couple of weeks but I wasn’t sure about how to introduce them. Though our honesty is refreshing and what is seemingly drawing me closer to her, I’d never want to overstep the imaginary boundary lingering between the two of us nor would I ever push hard enough to hurt or discomfort her.

“That day? Yes.” We turned a corner past their family dining room and upon entering their tradition style of kitchen, she tossed her water bottle up on top of the carrara marble island top. “I never felt suicidal or anything along those lines but I suppose the pain got the best of me that day. I didn’t have a single thought to fight what I believed was going to happen once I hit that floor. I figured if death was approaching, I’d accept it if it had to be. Overall, I didn’t have the desire to die. Emotional pain is by far the worst of it all. I don’t think physical pain comes close to it but I won’t set that in stone because I cannot speak for anyone other than myself. Dealing with that kind of pain everyday took one hell of a toll on me but I didn’t want to be defeated by it, especially when it came down to Andreas’ shit. Shane would have breathed life back into my body and killed me himself if I had just the slightest idea to die on his behalf. My brother was too much of an advocate for me and my future for any of that.”

“So what did you choose to live for?” She leaned her unrivaled frame into the doors of the stainless steel refrigerator and stared at me without wavering. I swallowed the expected knot in my throat and continued to keep eye contract with her though I wanted to do anything but that. The fear of my knees buckling suddenly became my reality as I leaned into the counter top awaiting her answer.

“Three reasons. Faith. I’ve always believed that we as human beings put a bit too much faith in God when it comes to every single thing. I don’t know why, but it felt like such a lazy approach. Around that time, honestly, I felt like I had nothing but him to cling to. It was the first time I put it all on him and firmly believed that he’d make sure I made it through it all in some type of way. I’m standing here and I’m functional so those blessings were gifted. The second is hope. I’ve been one hell of a pessimist over these past couple of years, so I had to work on becoming hopeful again. I’m still working on it but I’ve progressively gotten better. Lastly, myself. I don’t know what the hell the future holds for me. It scares me to think about it but I have to believe that everything’s going to work itself out positively for as long as I work on it.”

“Faith. Hope. Self. I like and highly respect that. You know, a lot of people usually name their family or something completely outside of themselves as reasons for living and that’s cool but ultimately, I believe that you have to want to live for yourself before you can have the desire to live for anyone else. That falls right along the lines of needing to love yourself before you can attempt to love someone else.”

“Exactly. You get it. It’s not a selfish way of thinking. It’s simply the way things should be.” Suddenly, she turned and swung open the fridge’s door to examine the contents inside. “You said French toast is your favorite right?”

“It is.”

“Are you allergic to peaches?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Do you like peaches?”

“I do.”

My response was the igniting she needed. Silence fell between the two of us as she swiftly removed all of the ingredients necessary for whatever breakfast meal she planned to create. I did my best to figure out what exactly she’d need the peaches for as she placed four of them in a bowl on the counter top but she completely lost me when a bottle of bourbon joined the items.

“You want bacon or sausages with this? We have pork or turkey for both. I could also take this in a southern direction and do fried chicken or steak.” My eyes widened at the thought of fried chicken or steak for breakfast. I’ve never had either one during that time of the day. “ What? You’ve never had steak or chicken for breakfast? People usefully do the steak with eggs and homemade hash browns. Remember Big said cheese, eggs, steak, and Welcher’s Grape? And of course fried chicken and waffles is a southern staple at this point. You can get that dish at any Waffle House or just about any southern based diner these days. Actually, Heather literally wants chicken and waffles at her bachelorette party. She threatened me about that.”

“Chicken and French toast though? Will that work?”

“Of course it will. So chicken?”

“This is even more of a challenge, because everybody can’t make fried chicken.” A smirk linger on my lips as she daringly raised one of her eyebrows at me and laughter spilled from my body as her hands met her hips.

“There is no challenge. I am the queen of fried chicken. I make fried chicken better than all of the women in my family. Hell, I probably make fried chicken better than your mama.” Probably is an understatement. I haven’t even tasted nor can I imagine what her style of fried chicken tastes like but I know for a fact that it’s better than my mother’s. That’s not really her specialty and I won’t tie race into it because I doubt it’s that. The cooking thing is quite new to her even though she’ll talk anyone into believing that she’s been playing the matriarch of the family and doing it for decades. I can easily tell the difference between her cooking and those nights when she slyly has a chef come in and prepare dinner. I don’t know what her talent is but it’s certainly not standing in front of a stove and concocting specialty dishes. She makes a decent burger and sandwich though.

“Prove it.”

“I will, now there’s only one rule when it comes to myself and being in the kitchen. Everyone has to follow it including you.”

“And what’s that?”

“You have to get out. Follow me.” She walked around the island and once she passed me, I did as she instructed and trailed behind her as she lead me to what was the traditional living room. The color palette followed along with the neutral and muted tones throughout what I’ve already seen of the lower level of the home and the family graduation portraits on the wall gave yet another one of the areas in their home a lived in and homely atmosphere.

“Here’s the remote. Please make yourself comfortable. There’s every channel you could possibly want or think of on there. You can order a movie if you’d like. There are also some DVDs somewhere in the entertainment center if you want to go that route. Uh.” She paused as I chuckled and a smirked formed on her face. “What?”

“I think I can manage.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. It’s just television sweetheart.” Swiftly, I pulled my lip in between my teeth and nearly bit myself as a punishment for defying my own rules. A pet name? I’ve never gone that far with anyone, not even women I’ve temporarily involved myself with. Sure, I have nicknames for my loved ones but anyone else has either been addressed by their first or last night. I called Samira by her first name while she opted for “darling” and I despised it. I often felt like she was speaking to me as if I were some toddler girl running around her apartment playing in her cosmetics and accessories. I don’t favor my mother’s constant usage of pet names either. As I stand here, I’m wallowing in contradiction and oddly, it feels far more conventional than I expected or needed it to.

“Okay then. I’ll call you when it’s all ready.”

“I’ll be here.” I purposefully flopped down on the couch as a sign of the comfort she pleaded for and I earned the smile I was looking for while taping the power button on the remote. She disappeared down the hall within seconds, leaving me to find some type of visual to entertain me until she finished concocting breakfast.

I settled on ESPN as I always do and it did serve as a distraction for nearly an hour. Though the fumes of the meal were certainly enticing me, it was the sound of Autumn singing along to R&B tunes spanning from the sixties to the nineties diligently working as competition to the television. I left the couch vacant to steal a peak at her twice and each time, she was swerving her hips from size to size while singing along to whatever medley was playing. There wasn’t a song that she didn’t most of, if not all of the words to. Yet again, as I slightly poke my head past the wall and peer in at her, she’s swaying those hips and questioning who can she run to when she needs love though song and dance. In her hands were two glasses of orange juice and no actual food in sight.

“You’re peeking again?” My already rattled body froze as astonishment filled my eager frame and displayed itself on my face. She turned to face me and her infectious smile effortlessly placed one on my face. I’d been caught and hadn’t noticed. There was no way that I’d notice it. Each time, her back was turned to me and I made sure of it. I’m not sure how she spotted me.

“How’d you notice?”

“I sensed your presence.” She didn’t bother turning the Bluetooth speaker off nor did she wait for my answer as she walked past me. “Breakfast is in the dinning room.”

She continued to sing along with Xscape as I slowly trailed behind her and upon entry to their family dining room, the spread on the table left me quite speechless. I didn’t expect even half of what I saw nor do I understand how she found the time to bake additional biscuits, place down croissants, and create a fruit platter. She’d already pulled out my chair and had three separate plates awaiting me at what is the place at the head of the table. In one plate, a vegetable omelette, in the second was mouth watering fried chicken, and lastly was three pieces of French toast spread across a oval style plate with peaches and a sauce tantalizingly dripping over every aspect of them.

“My famous southern fried chicken, a vegetable omelette, and cinnamon French toast with a homemade bourbon peach sauce smothered over them.”

“Wow.”

“Mhm.” Her smirk was a one of pride and she pointed at the chair so I’d sit down and give her a verdict on the taste. There’s no doubt in my body that the flavoring of every dish is beyond belief but every chef loves and deserves a compliment despite already knowing that their skills are top of the line.

I began with the dish I requested over them all. As her arm draped over the back of my chair and the radiating heat from her very close body swarmed my own, I nearly melted in the chair at the flavorful piece of French toast as it’s infectious taste left my taste buds in a trance. The cinnamon, peach, and tangy bourbon were to be expected but the vanilla and maple were a plot twist that left my mind in a frenzy. All of the flavors could have easily been a tooth aching overkill but she was able to create a perfect balance between all of it. She officially overthrew my mother’s best dish. There’s no debating or reconsidering that I can do. Next was the omelette. She meshed the eggs with an assortment of bell peppers, red onions, cherry tomatoes, spinach, and a hint of parsley for the healthiest and yet still extremely tasty part of the meal.

“Now the chicken.”

“I didn’t tell you how the French toast and omelette is yet.”

“I can wait. Try it.”

She didn’t fry those little wing parts that are sold as a hot wing appetizer at local restaurants. Instead she had three drumsticks awaiting me on a plate with a side of Sriracha on the side. I didn’t hesitate to bite into one and the rush of flavoring ceased my mouth and most of my attention. Without ever asking or knowing, she conquered my desire for just enough crispiness with irresistible flavoring. Before I could compliment her, I’d taken another bite and relished in not only the poultry but all she’d done for me this morning. The only breakfast I can recall anyone making for me is either Autumn who now playfully forces me to have it during flights or the complimentary breakfast at hotels. I’ve skipped the most important meal of the day for years and as I stuff my face with Autumn’s cooking, I feel like a fool for having done so.

“Damn.”

“Damn what?” She leaned over so that the side of her face was aligned with my own and she placed her ear near my mouth. She earned a bit of laughter from myself as she waited what I had to say.

“You’re one hell of a cook. This is beyond home cooking. I feel like I’m inside of a restaurant right now, seriously. How the hell did you learn to cook like that?”

“Boredom.” She plopped down in a chair on the right side of the table and grabbed a biscuit out of the basket in the center of the table. She didn’t bother with buttering it and from the looks of it she didn’t need to. I could literally smell the buttermilk as she pulled it until it was in two pieces and she broke off a piece of one of the halves to drop into her mouth.

“What do you mean?”

“I was somewhat of a decent cook because my mother taught me some of what she learned from my great-grandmother and grandmother throughout her teen and early adult years. I wasn’t interested in being in the kitchen but there were days when I did keep her company and I’d assist. Once I got married, I felt like it wasn’t enough. I wouldn’t have been able to keep his stomach full and his taste buds pleased with what limited knowledge I had, so I took a couple of random cooking classes and eventually I began to buy tons of books and even iBooks on my iPad filled with recipes to try out. I spent a lot of my lone and leisure time just cooking whatever the hell was in the refrigerator. I can admit, I did eat my feelings for a while and I did gain some weight. When I was ready to get rid of it, I started working out and I just switched my cooking habits to healthier options. So yeah, boredom.” As she pulled her legs up and plopped them over the arm of the chair, she began to shimmy her shoulders while blissfully singing along to Diana Ross and The Supremes. As she sung about her “baby love”, I balance my attention between the meal and her.

Usually while eating on my own leisure time, I’d be flipping though paper work or going between the plate and my laptop to continue working towards beating whatever deadline I or the company set out for myself. It didn’t bother me much because I live alone and there’s nothing odder than just sitting at a table all by your lonesome and eating in silence. The thoughts that come about during those minutes aren’t gratifying ones. I often berate myself or those that are supposed to be dearest to me. I contemplate getting the hell out of here and all the wrong and right ways to do it. I wonder if I’m actually serving my purpose or if I’m wasting whatever I have left of this life on what will never be beneficial to me. I stare out at the unrivaled view of New York City skyline that I have from my costly penthouse apartment and wonder if I should be grateful for all I have or look at it as the payout for a self-imposed prison sentence.

Now, as I sit here staring at this extraordinary woman while she snaps her fingers, wiggles her toes, and does her best to mimic Diana’s tone of voice, I’m convinced that I don’t want to see anything else but this while I eat a meal. I don’t even care that we’re not exchanging words with one another. She’s offering me more entertainment than I deserve simply by lounging in that chair and being herself. She’s a ray of light in the mind full of darkness that I carry around with me from day to day. Her carefree spirit and obliviousness to the positive affects that she has on those she encounters radiates this aura of innocence that warms and calms my spirit. She’s a beautiful being in her entirety and I aspire to be as resilient as she continues to be despite all the loss she’s faced over these past couple of years. I can see that hope that she speaks of. I can feel it in the midst of the fluttering within my stomach and the sporadic skipping of my beating heart. Initially, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to be friendly; as I quickly took a disliking to her discomfort around me. In such of short time of working together and spending personal time around one another, our recently developed friendship has gone from being interesting and opening to this oxymoron of beautiful difficulty. She has unknowingly crushed all my mental capacity when in her presence. I now function on an emotional overdrive that is foreign, fearful, and yet extremely human.

“What are you doing today?” My question halted her personal karaoke session and she pondered on her answer for a second.

“Other than an early evening session with my therapist? Nothing.” She grabbed another biscuit out of the basket and took a bite out of it instead of breaking it into pieces like she did with the first. “Why? Do you need me to do something for you?”

“No. I was only asking because I wanted to know if you’d like to hang out with me today? I have a few things to do but it’s sort of a loose day for me. First I need to head home to freshen up and change. If you get ready while we’re here, you can just go with me. I have to stop by my office to wrap something up. What time is your appointment?”

“It’s starts at five. It’s later in the evening because she’s coming into the office late today.”

“I can drop you off. I’m supposed to check out a property around five thirty, so I can drop you off and pick you back up. Tonight, Diddy’s hosting a party at the club to celebrate some new flavor of Ciroc. It should be fun. He always brings a crowd and tons of special guests with him. Are you up for it?” Though I wanted to finish it all, I couldn’t eat another bite. After having swallowed down the last bit of French toast I had left, I tossed in the towel on the half of omelette and piece of chicken I had left.

“Sure. I suppose I can just bring a change of clothes and get ready at your place?”

“Yes. You don’t have to worry about being alone at the club either. As I said, today’s a loose day for me. So I’ll be by your side.”

“So it’s bring Autumn To Work Day?” We shared a laugh over her title for what we’d be doing as she swung her legs over so her feet would hit the floor. “Or is it Show and Tell?”

“Both.”

“It’s fair enough, seeing as though I bring you to work with me all the time.”

Without struggle, she grabbed all of the plates I’d been eating out of and walked out of the dining room with them. I helped by grabbing the baskets of croissants, biscuits, and the small fruit platter. Though she insisted that I go and digest all that I consumed on the couch, I assisted in drying the dishes that she washed and we put them away together. Instead of leaving me downstairs alone, she invited me to hang out in her bedroom while she readied herself in her bathroom and the connecting closet. I lounged at her desk while checking out some Showtime show about an extremely wild Chicago family that she raved about before disappearing into the bathroom. The whimsical setting in her bedroom meshes well with her personality and I marveled in it’s setting while becoming intoxicated by the scent of her favorite perfume and body wash.

“Was I long? I’ve been dressed. I just put on a splash of make up. Oh and I already put my stuff together for tonight.”

Angelic. That’s the only word that could be used to describe her cream attire. The skirt and top combination were a matching set; coordinated together by the way of pleated ruffles. The length of the skirt was that of a high school cheerleader and my attention locked in on her caramel thighs as I’m sure the designer intended them to. She added some youthfulness to the get up by pairing it with a pair of low Converse sneakers that perfectly matched in color, a high ponytail, and a pair of large hoop earrings that reminded me of the era I was born in. All she’s missing is a piece of gum in her mouth because the lip gloss is certainly shining on her lips.

“You literally look like you’re fifteen.” She does. If she happened to walk amongst a group of high school students I nor would anyone be able to pick her out as the oddball in the bunch. She’d blend in amongst them perfectly.

“Sixteen. Thank you very much.” Her chuckle was husky and yet airy, much like her laugh and she continued to stuff her neon green purse with her daily on the go necessities. I noted four types of lipstick, a mirror, and her Apple iPhone charger thus far.

“You look nice.” Nice. That’s platonic right? I figure if I say beautiful, gorgeous, phenomenal, ravishing, or anything alone those lines it’d be clear that I’m flirting or checking her out beyond a friendly manner. Nice is simple. Even great can be simple. She won’t stare at me as if I’ve lost my mind with either of those words.

“Thanks. This is so old. All of my clothing, shoes, and accessories were shipped up here from Miami a couple of days ago and literally all of it is downstairs scattered around the basement area. I feel sorry for my poor father because that’s where he and his buddies tend to hang out. Issac likes it down there too. It’s somewhat of a man cave, I guess. Anyway, my things have taken over for the time being and I’ve gone through a couple of boxes to pick out things to wear. Can you believe it’s even categorized by season just as I had it in the closet? I guess I should consider that a parting gift.”

“It doesn’t look old. It looks brand new.”

“It is. It’s brand new because I’ve never worn it. What makes it old is when I purchased it. You’ll be surprised how much of that stuff still has tags on it or how many of the soles on those shoes are spotless. You don’t get dressed up when you don’t have shit to do. I shopped out of boredom and hope.”

“Hope for?” We’d switched spots. She was now sitting at her desk applying jewelry to her body and by the way of her concentration, there is clearly a method to the way she likes them placed and stacked.

“Hope that my husband would give me a reason to put it on. I wanted to be beautiful for him.” The use of the past tense is my first bit of disappointment with her. She didn’t have to want to be something that she already was and still very much so is. There isn’t an article of clothing sold in any boutique, anywhere in the world that has the capacity to make this breathtaking woman beautiful. If anything, she makes the attire beautiful. She could never be of use in the advertisement industry because the products would never sell. People would be entranced by the woman in the ads far more than they would be with whatever product is being shoved in their faces for profit. I’m never going to know every single detail that ultimately resulted in the demise of their marriage but I refuse to believe it was because she wasn’t beautiful enough for him physically. I’d hope he’s not that shallow and realistically speaking, it’s simply not possible.

“You were.”

“I was what?”

“Beautiful enough for him. Actually, you were out of his league.” She nearly dropped her necklace as she erupted into laughter at my comment. In the midst of it, she paused to curve her lips to the left side of her face for a quick side eye gesture, and she continued to laugh while applying the last piece of jewelry she needed to complete her task with accessories. Though it wasn’t meant to be a joke, I don’t mind her taking it as one. I like modesty and it’s clear that she, much like myself, has a hard time accepting compliments. Actually, she’s worse. I tend to be appreciative and give my thanks for the acknowledgement. Autumn lets them fly right over her head.

“I’m ready. Sorry I took so long.”

“You weren’t long. My mother takes damn near half of a day to get ready, so waiting for you was a breeze in comparison to waiting for her. I feel like I have to call her and have her start getting ready the day before we have to be wherever we’re going. It’s ridiculous.”

“Well, it takes women a bit more time to get the hair, make up, and attire looking right. I’m not saying this is an excuse, but we are by far the most critiqued gender when it comes to our physical appearance and what we do and don’t do to enhance it. So it all starts there.”

“So you’re blaming men?” She stood up and swung the strap of her designer bag over her shoulder.

“Well, if the shoe fits Mr. St. James. Honestly, I’m not though. Often times, I feel like women are far more critical of trivial shit then men are.”

“That’s rational. Men are shitty though. I won’t deny that at all.”

“Not all of them. Just ninety-nine point nine percent. Thankfully, you fall in rank with the rare.” The flutters intensified as my lips slightly fell agape. The timorous side of myself that I so often try to mask, engulfed my body as I pondered a response. The compliments she bestows upon me are frequent these days and what affects me isn’t just what she’s saying; it’s the purity and genuine emotions behind it. I can easily pick apart when someone is saying something because they feel obligated to do so, for the sake of self-gain, or because it’s fitting in the moment. More than anything else, she expects quality out of me on a personal level which is by far the hardest aspect of pleasing anyone. I appreciate that. I believe that everyone has the capability to achieve greatness in some facet; we just have to figure out what is that we’re great at or what we’re willing to continuously work at to excel. What I don’t believe in is the goodness of all people. That’s the greatest challenge. Autumn, unknowingly, has taken on a role of keeping me focused on making sure I keep that aspect of myself in high regard along with Fred, Mike, and Stacey. I’d like to think that my uncle is looking out for me as well.

“Thank you.”

“No, but seriously, your interior design tastes are impeccable.”

Autumn flopped down on the couch in my office and grabbed one of the Basquiat books resting on the table as a source of entertainment for herself. She’d been complimenting my apartment and now office on and off for two hours now, while asking for tips that I don’t have to give. Based upon what she’s shown me of the interior design of the Miami home she once lived in, her taste in interiors upstages mine effortlessly. She, unlike myself, understands color palettes and how to liven up a place. Mike refers to my apartment as a dungeon because of the thematic black and grey that runs through every single aspect of the place. It’s modern and sleek, but certainly dark. I rarely look into psychological studies but maybe it’s why I often have dispirited thoughts while I’m home. My office is better in that aspect and it’s only that way because I had absolutely nothing to do with it. This is Stacey’s doing.

“They’re not. I took the easy way out. Anyone can make black look good.” Though the contract is finalized, I’m going over some last minute adjustments for Calvin Harris’ residency before flying out to Vegas. It’s set to begin tomorrow night and I need every single aspect of it to run through perfectly for the sake of the press. Last minute requests is why I have no interest in handling artists but I’m going to lock this in for the sake of the company and I’ll eventually pass this account to someone else. I’m not a manager or a personal publicist and I don’t want to be. The tedious aggravation in booking them for appearances and performances at the club is more than enough.

“It still looks amazing as fuck.”

“Thank you.”

“And your closet damn near made me pass out. It’s amazing and that mirror that you have in there? Whew! Your closet is very Christian Grey.”

“Very who?” I pressed send on the final e-mail that I needed to send over the Hakkasan group and glanced over in her direction. It was one hell of a gamble, but I was able to secure him an extended three year partnership with the group as a disc jockey and music consultant. He’ll be the resident DJ at Hakkasan nightclub once it has it’s grand opening, Wet Republic, and also at Omnia nightclub inside of Caesar’s Palace.

“You’ve never heard of Christian Grey?” Her giggle was sheepish and her face suddenly turned a slight hue of red as her body shifted on the chair.

“No. Who is he?”

“Nevermind.” She couldn’t cease the laughter at my lack of information about whomever she was referencing to so I did what anyone would do. I immediately opened up another tab and typed the exact name into Google. When the results appeared, I clicked the first link available.

“Christian Trevelyan Grey is the male protagonist of the trilogy, Fifty Shades of Grey. To the outside world, he appears to be a handsome and attractive young man in the business world. However, he has a hidden face: he is adept of BDSM.” It was my turn for my face to flush in embarrassment as I skimmed through more of the synopsis about the man. Fredrick’s talked about his weird interest in BDSM enough for me to know exactly what it is and what it entails. Autumn couldn’t contain her laughter no matter how many times she attempted to do so and the smirk on my face was followed by my narrowed eyes as I pondered how she made the connection between myself and this character.

“How is my closet very Christian Grey?”

“Because it’s very sleek, masculine, and it’s filled with suits, dress shoes, and you have those pull out draws with your ties neatly folded inside of them. That’s how Christian is described. He’s a business man, just like you are.”

“But why do I have to be compared to the kinky ass business man?”

“I’m not saying that you’re kinky. I’m just comparing your styles in terms of business attire. I wouldn’t know if you’re into BDSM or not unless I asked Samira or that three month girlfriend from college.”

“Or you can just ask me.”

Silence fell between the two of us as her eyes locked with mine. My audacious statement through us both for a loop. I’m more than willing to tell her whatever she’s interested in knowing, including a honest answer to such an invasive topic of discussion. I’d let her explore her curiosities so I could vicariously live through her while doing my best to shield my own. My yearning to figure her out beyond our honest dialogues is researching unbearable territory. I’m now interested in what makes her writhe and breathless. I want to know what ignites the sparks and sets her ablaze; mentally first. I want to know it all.

“I’m so sick of you acting your skin color and not answering my phone calls immediately. Save that light skinned shit for someone else.” The door to my office swung opened and startled the both of us out of the ongoing gaze and Stacey stood there with her hand on her hip; glaring at me with every bit of an attitude. She called while I was driving and I hadn’t turned on the Bluetooth, so I couldn’t answer her in the car and it slipped my mind to return the call when Autumn and I arrived here. Usually, she’d just call me back and scold me over the phone. This pop up is surprising and will most likely become highly embarrassing within a couple of minutes.

“I was eventually going to return your call. Why are you not home with Kaylee? I’m sure she’s missing you already.”

“I’m Kaylee’s mother. I am not her damn slave. Cut the bull- ” Her sentence abruptly ended when her eyes locked on the woman who’d been accompanying me since this morning and her mouth fell slightly agape at the sight. Without shame or modesty, she gawked at her as if she herself had any attraction to women. If I didn’t know any better, I’d be expecting her to say some absolutely outlandish pick up line and ask for her number by the time she concludes it.

“Okay, Google Images does you no justice. Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful in those photos, but damn, you’re fine as hell.” If I could escape looking like an idiot, I’d submit to the urge to slide under my desk. I settled for palming my face and shaking my head at the bold and obnoxious compliment that left Autumn not only completely off guard but shockingly amused all at once. She lightly chucked at Stacey’s statement as an air of speechlessness took over her frame and she stared up at my ever so ridiculous assistant as she continued to do a full assessment of her with her eyes.

“I’m Stacey, the best thing that ever happened to Dante. I’m his executive assistant, confidant, and one half of his brain. I am by far the dominant side of it.” Autumn loudly laughed at Stacey absurd description of herself and she quickly latched her hand onto hers and gave it a light shake and squeeze.

“I’m Autumn.”

“Yes you are. I’m so glad to finally meet you. I’ve heard nothing but great things. From what I’ve learned, your spirit is even more beautiful than your external.”

“Well, thank you. I’m so glad that I’ve been given a rave review.” Both women glanced in my direction and in that moment I no longer wanted to slide under the desk. The urge to be Spiderman and jump out of the window felt far more appropriate. The smirk on Stacey’s face frightened me more than it ever has because I know just how far her sarcasm can go when she’s attempting to push me to the edge. She refuses to let up and now that she’s in front of the very woman that has become the focal point of our latest conversations; God help me.

“Stacey, did you really come here over a missed phone call?”

“No. I needed to access some information that your little temporary assistant couldn’t find even if it slapped her in the face. I don’t know why you didn’t just let me find you someone. No one’s better than me, but I could have done better than her. She’s been working here for three years now and still can’t get her shit together. Anyway, I changed the hotel arrangement. She originally had you all booked for the MGM Lofts, but those shits are horrible. I don’t know where the hype is coming from. You all will be staying at the Wynn. You, Mike, and Fredrick will be staying in the three bedroom duplex in the Encore Tower and Autumn you’ll be in the two bedroom apartment just one floor down. You all get housekeeping twice a day, butler service if you want it, a cabana for everyday that you’re there, daily access to the spa and fitness center for no additional charge, and priority on shows, dinner, and some other shit that I’m sure you’ll find out about when you arrive. You’ve stayed there before so you know how awesome those Wynn Towers are.”

“Yeah, they’re probably the best of the best when it comes to Vegas.”

“Exactly. Oh and your birthday. You’re turning thirty. What do you want to do? I may not be working right now but I’ll be damned if I’m not involved in planning that.”

“I know I don’t want a party. So don’t try it.”

“How about a destination birthday celebration? You can celebrate here over a nice dinner or maybe even a barbecue at Mike’s house and then you go somewhere that you’ve never gone before. I can plan it and make sure you have the best of the best.”

“What’s with the vacations? I have my mother in one ear nagging me about a family vacation and then you in the other one for my birthday.”

“You need one.” My eyes widened at both Autumn and Stacey making that statement in unison. I couldn’t help but to jerk my head back and playfully cut my eyes at the both of them.

“Okay, I’ve officially gone from liking you to loving you. Welcome to the family.” Stacey shook Autumn’s hand once again as they shared a laugh over their common agreement for what I need in my life and both women returned their attention to myself.

“You two are hilarious.”

“What about Santorini, Greece or the Maldives? Bali is lovely too.”

“Sounds like honeymoon locations.”

“Well, you said it, I didn’t.” My body froze in astonishment as her statement. What it suggested quickly registered in my mind and I locked my eyes with her own. The smirk on her face wasn’t as playful as it had been. She transitioned into a devious character and slightly panned her eyes in the direction of Autumn who thankfully wasn’t looking at her anymore.

“Is there anything else that you want?”

“No. Just wanted to make sure things are going well on the work and personal front for one of my favorite people in the world. I’ll go now. Do you need anything before I do? Autumn are you hungry? We have an amazing cafeteria downstairs. In addition to that, there’s a Subway and Pinkberry on the ground floor. Are you interested?”

“Pinkberry? Seriously?”

“Oh yes. We have that. You want some?”

“Absolutely. I love frozen yogurt. I enjoy the coconut milk coconut flavor with strawberries, granola, and almond nuts in it.”

“Got it. Dante, are you hungry?”

“No. Autumn made me a big breakfast. I’m still full.” Her eyes widened at my revelation. I said it on purpose. Now that I’ve given her some type of information, she’ll stop being purposefully invasive. It’s always a give and take type of situation with that one when it comes to my business. I poke fun at Mike being a gossiping female but even he knows when to cut the shit and fall back for the sake of not being overbearing. He knows I’ll inform him of what he wants or needs to know eventually. There’s no waiting game for my assistant. If I’m not willing to tell her when she needs to know something, she’s going to pull out all of the stops to get it out of me. She’s what I call a nightmare of a therapist. Often times, I’m appreciative of her forcing bottled up tension out of me but this subject matter? It’s brutal.

“I lost a race against him and his bet was for me to buy him breakfast. I decided to just cook it for him instead.”

“You slaved over a hot stove for…him? That’s impressive for the both of you, honestly.”

The gratified expression on her face earned a smug look on my end and she merrily walked out of my office with the sound of her heels clacking the marble flooring.

“I like her. She’s so sweet.”

“Sweet? Just imagine dealing with that personality for hours.”

“I can tell she’s one of the genuine people in your life. I can already tell there’s a big sister and little brother type of dynamic there.”

“Yes, that’s accurate. She’s family at this point and she’s taken on the role as the bossy and overbearing big sister who I can’t help but love. She keeps me in check for sure. I always playfully shut her down when she calls herself the other half of my brain but in some aspects, she actually is. She keeps me sane in this place and makes sure everything is in tact. She’s damn good at her job but she’s an even better person. She’s just loud as shit.” Autumn chuckled at my over exaggerated facial expression in reference to Stacey’s personality and nodded her head in understanding.

“Well, I’m glad you have her. You need it. You need people to force you to have an actual balance. I’ve noticed that about you. Your boys aid in you letting loose and actually enjoying yourself. That’s what friends are for, of course, but I have a feeling they work a little harder at getting you to go along with their shenanigans but when you do decided to do so, you up enjoying the hell out of yourself. Stacey’s the reinforcement.”

“And you.”

“Me?”

I cannot recall the last time I’ve actually gone out with a woman and thoroughly enjoyed myself from start to finish. There have only been a handful of outings between the two of us, but each one holds it’s special place in my memory. Our time together has only gotten better and far more exciting as we’ve gone along, instead of regressing or turning into a bore. I would have never gone to Disney World Paris, Crazy Horse, or to the Parisian theater if they weren’t interests of hers and most of all, had she not been there. I probably would have never sat around sipping a glass of cognac while enjoying the bay at Palmeiras had she not been sitting across the table doing the same. I’m laughing more. We’ve been addressing aspects of my life that I barely ever touch on through simple discussions and the tasks of keeping my guard up to the highest peak is alleviated around her.

“Yes. You tend to be a reinforcement too aside from being apart of the fun. Whenever we speak, you always make note of me needing to add some play in-between all of the work.”

“So if I’m reinforcement, then I’m family like Stacey? Maybe like a cousin?” She smirked and that gleam in her eyes only aided in the laughter that was already happening from the question by itself.

“A cousin? Nah.”

“Then what?”

We stared at one another in silence as she awaited her answer. Her mauve painted finger nails lightly tapped the surface of the hardcover book she’d been holding in her hand since she plopped down on the couch.

“I’ll let you know with time.”

“Don’t take too long.”

She flipped open the book and began to admire it’s colorful pages while I remained astonished and enamored by her response. It was effortless on her end. Four words knocked the wind out of my chest, turned my insides into knots, and sent my mind into a frenzy. She’s more than a reinforcement.

If all of the listening to Stacey’s obsession with all things involving love, soul ties, and horoscopes was worth it, then I’m assured that the woman relaxing on my couch has been placed in my life to capture every aspect of me and I’m going to have to allow her to because it’s beyond my control.

Luminous lights bounced off of the regal like gold setting as the bass to Diddy’s “Bad Boys For Life” blared from speakers in every single direction. The pompous Hip-Hop mogul had been standing on the stage in all of his grandeur since his arrival and has yet to stop his onslaught of egotistical promotion of self. Occasionally, he’d throw in a statement about the vodka but overall, he’s selling himself just as most of these artists do. Along side him stood his model girlfriend Cassie and I couldn’t help but to chuckle and shake my head at how much of a prop she appeared to be. I’ve yet to see him glance in her direction to be assured that she’s comfortable and content with her surroundings. He hasn’t even thrown an arm around her shoulder to stake claim on his territory. I suppose he expects people to just know. Given the way her eyes have slyly followed Fredrick around this room, maybe their arrangement isn’t exactly what I expect it to be.

As the crowd covered the dance floor, I choose to lean with my back to the bar while inhaling the aroma of cinnamon and berries and feeling natural sultriness radiating from the body covered in the scent. As her shoulders rocked back in forth to the beat, the right one continuously lightly brushed against my side and garnered my attention each time. While readying herself in my closet, she opted to take her ponytail down and flat iron her long hair so it’d cascade down her back flawlessly. She kept her make up minimal with the exception of the deep red lipstick she coated her lips with. While her face is certainly an attention grabber by itself, tonight, it’s the dress and her body in it. It’s the cause for the numerous bottles of Armand De Brignac and Dom Perigenon that have been sent her way in hopes of her joining the sections containing the men who were dumping money into dozens of bottles of champagne. It’s the dress that had Diddy’s security guard whispering an invitation to his section in her ear. It’s the dress that left me frozen in my closet as I walked in while she was exiting. It’s the dress that put a whole new spin on what little black dress is supposed to mean.

“Step over here for a second.” Fredrick stood to the left of me for a second and eventually, I stepped away from Autumn and walked just a couple of inches down so he’d be able to say what he needed to. Mike was already awaiting us, with a silly little smirk on his face.

“I have to ask. How are you going to bring her on a date to our club? I didn’t think anything of it when y'all had a quick bite to eat upstairs. That could have been corny but it’s whatever. The club though? Really?” I bid my gallant best friend the blankest stare I could muster up and Mike erupted into the most ridiculous fit of giggles. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was the one to plant the idea in Fredrick’s head to question me.

“First, shut up. Second, we’re not on a date. We went running this morning and I invited her to hang out with me for the day. It’s exactly that. Not a date.”

“That dress says it’s a date. Do you see it the way I see?”

“And how exactly do you see it?” My facial expression hadn’t contorted into anything else. If anything, it unexpectedly hardened.

“He’s about to fuck you up. You better watch your eyes dog.” Mike rested his arm over Fred’s shoulders as he continued to cackle like the Lion King’s hyenas. He looks like them as well. He looks like all things that are irksome right about now.

“Wait, y'all went running? Like young rich white couples? Wow.” That statement earned a laugh out of me. I knew Mike would get one and that statement was worth it. That was a joke between all of us since our college days. We often differentiated the difference between white couples and black couples and running together was considered super Caucasian.

“Okay. Y'all can go about your business.”

“Oh no. We’re good right here. Everything is handled. A tense, flustered, and lusty Dante is far more interesting than sitting up in the office or being out here and watching Diddy act a fool on stage. I want to see this in person; not on security footage.” Fredrick slap his hand into my shoulder and winked before walking around me and smothering Autumn with a hug and making her smile with whatever suave shit he said.

“I’m happy for you man.”

“Mike, shut the fuck up man.” I couldn’t stop laughing at him. His facial expression paired with the commentary couldn’t be taken as anything more than pure jokes, though he’s as serious as a heart attack.

“Just say thank you.”

“For what?”

“Because I’m happy for you. You thank people for that, even though I’m supposed to be automatically happy for you because I’m your best friend and brother. Thank me.”

“Mike…” He cut me off.

“Thank me.”

“Thank you.” He like Fredrick, slapped his hand into my shoulder in jest, and left me to stand there as the outsider while they showered Autumn with admiration. Much like my own, she lit up their eyes, as they leaned in close enough to make out every word that spilled from her red lips. I expect the both of them to form some kind of bond with her over time. If she’s going to be around, why wouldn’t they? They’re my family and I’d rather her take a liking to them over the people who are biologically tied to me. She’s safer in that manner.

The atmosphere within the club lightened up and became more of a loose fun type of vibe when Diddy and his fifty person entourage made their exit out of the back door. He didn’t leave without showering the three of us with a drunken thanks and praise for the service and nicely tipping every bottle server that worked the V.I.P section. With him out the door, the intensity amongst the staff eased and the smiles returned to their faces as they cheerily walked and even danced around the club serving bottles and drinks to guests. We continued to occupy places at the bar, the three of us standing, while Autumn remained in her seat surrounded by the three men who most probably thought were her bodyguards if they couldn’t identify us as the owners. We all chose to have drinks; even her. The Jack Daniels and pineapple juice in her glass served as kryptonite for her hips and thighs as she moved in her seat along to whatever beat and melody that pleased her ears. What I didn’t expect was for it to carry her out of her seat. In a trance, I looked on as she danced along to DJ Envy’s ode to Atlanta by herself, and eventually both men who were on either side of me left me to take in the sight all alone.

The black uninhibited silk elegance stuck to her body like the fluidity of a second skin and carved out the shape of her frame with every move that she made. The deep open back, steep neckline, and slit up her thigh exposed her blemish free caramel skin and her left cool enough to not break a single sweat. Instead the perspiration was showcasing itself behind my own neck. One wrong move could expose plenty and yet it worked so well against her body, I’d believe the designer made it just for her if she told me. With every sip of my preferred potent brown liquid I took, my thoughts became less about her dancing and more about if she had anything on the lower half of her body aside from the silk of the dress.

“Come and dance.” She shouted her request loud enough for me to hear as the music suddenly switched to the ninety five underground club favorite “Freaks” by Doug E. Fresh. Reluctance filled my mind quickly and I started to deny her of what she asked for until she extended her hand to reach for my own. To kill the last of my nerves, I downed what was left in my glass and pushed up off of the golden bar to follow her as she headed towards the crowded dance floor.

Playfully, she bopped her head and rocked her body to the infectious beat as I did the same. Every bit of it was platonic, even the moment when she grabbed my arm and came closer. A few turns happened and she playfully bumped my hip with her own. I couldn’t help but to wrap my arm around her waist as she did so and I drew her body close to mine. The bopping and rocking continued while the warmth from our bodies and mouths enhanced the allure and abrupt intensity. The tips of my fingers dug into the softness of her hip and the nervousness I believed had washed away with the Hennessy returned when she suddenly pulled back from me. Thoughts of some type of way to make a quick getaway immediately flooded my brain until her plump backside met my body in a force that nearly caused me to stagger. My hands locked on her hips as she twirled and popped herself against the part of my flesh I’d been trying to keep in check since this morning. As if her hair could read my mind, it fell over her shoulders and gave me the perfect view of the side of her face each time she lifted herself up and laid her entire body against my own.

Her beautiful torment of my body never ceased as we danced through song after song to the surprising and yet fitting reggae set. I hoped my stiffened flesh would serve as a form of discomfort for so she’d stop what my mind and body swiftly became addicted to but it seemingly served as motivation for her to continue. I hadn’t spotted Mike or Fred ever since they walked away but I’m assured in my theory that one of them told Envy to refrain from changing the genre of music for the remainder of the night. I had Autumn against my body for two hours because of it.

For two hours she snatched just a little bit more of my soul.

“Any stops?”

My head leaned against the cool window of the SUV and I shook it in hopes that Marv noticed it through the rearview mirror. The heaviness in my tired eyes worsened although I had a constant rush of cool air smacking me in the back of my neck and on the top of my head from the overhead air conditioning vents. I don’t typically run behind schedule for flights but this morning was a first, as I could barely drag my exhausted form out of bed after having only taken a two hour nap since arriving home. Had I left the club and went straight home, I would have slept for a possible four or five hours, but instead I contentedly sat in my car outside of Autumn’s house having the most trivial banter with her. Her heels were off, my blazer sat sloppily in the backseat, my tie loosely hung around her neck, and our seats were reclined as we idly lay there going back and forth with jokes that probably wouldn’t have been as funny if the alcohol wasn’t still in control of our systems. Honestly, the funniest part of the early morning may have been the thirty minute nap we took, and the both of us popping up damn near simultaneously to laugh at that happening. We parted ways shortly after; her slipping inside of the house under the gaze of her nosy neighbor and me doing my best to quickly get back into Manhattan before the morning rush.

That was nearly three hours ago. Just three.

“I have your newspaper here. You want it?”

“No. I’m alright Marv.”

“Music?”

“No.”

“Rough night?” I erased the concern off of his face by lightly laughing.

“Crazy night, in a fun way.”

“Really?” His eyes widened in surprise as would anyone’s who knows me well enough would do. “Hungover?”

“Slightly.”

“My man.” He slid his right hand in between the driver and passenger side seats and I quickly slapped my own into it before returning to my slump position against the window.

In understanding, he left me silence the entire ride to BlueStar. That hour ride was another nap; a teaser leading up to the next one that I’m sure to take on the flight to Vegas.

“Good Morning Mr. St. James.” With a nod of my head in greeting to the service worker, I looked on as he retrieved both of my bags from the trunk of the SUV and I bid Marv a quick goodbye. Usually I’d be jogging to cease any further lateness but I couldn’t. The guy and my bags were a long way ahead of me, as he quickly moved to board them onto the plane. Mike and Fredrick were already on board. I could tell by the cup holder in Autumn’s hands as she stood along side her brother. There would have been three Starbucks drinks in it if they weren’t already here. Instead, there’s my lone cup of coffee waiting for me in the hands of the woman who made my day, night, and morning.

“Why are you lagging man? Age catching up with you?” Issac voiced his joke loud enough for me to hear and a smirked danced along my lips but never quite formed as I reached the siblings.

“Long night.”

“Oh yeah? It was one of those nights huh?” My eyes narrowed and quickly normalized at what he was suggesting may have happened last night. It felt like one of those nights without it being one of those nights.

“Nah. None of that. It was just a late one at work.”

“Oh yeah, I know how that can be. Your flight attendant here picked up some Starbucks for you and I’m sure she’ll whip up a couple of extra cups of coffee for you on the flight so you’ll be nice and perked up for Vegas. Right Autumn?”

“Yes, I can do that. Good Morning Mr. St. James.” Our eyes locked as she handed over the coffee and the ever expected flutters ignited within seconds. The sight of her in that dress suddenly replaced the current sight of her in her uniform and the vision her long tresses swinging over her shoulders superseded the low ponytail in her hair now.

“Good Morning.”

I sipped the now slightly cool drink to begin the effects of the espresso and continued to take in her being though she’d already pealed her eyes away from me in an alarming and pointless nervousness.

Am I a dirty secret?

I know we’re nothing and yet we’re something. Well at least I feel that way. It’s what I want to believe or maybe I’m hoping for a lot. Either way, this is a beautifully weird dynamic.

“Well, you’re behind schedule so why don’t you get going.” My eyes panned to Issac and his eyes no longer held the playful gleam that’s identical to his sister’s. As his eyes narrowed, I could sense him assessing me.

“Right. See you soon man. Sorry for the hold up.”

“Right.”

As I ascended up the steps, I could feel a set of eyes burning a hole into my back.

They weren’t the eyes that I wanted on me.

They weren’t the eyes that I needed on me.

#fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #j. cole fanfic #j cole fanfic #j. cole fanfiction #j cole fanfiction #rihanna fanfic #rihanna fanfiction

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shruggingcutely · 7 years

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Monster Hunter for Complete Beginners - Part 2: Weapons

(Go here for Part 1)

It's time to talk weapons! I'm focusing on the general playstyle/loop of the weapons here, because my goal is to give you enough information to help you look up more information if you want to. As I said before, guides tend to go really deep and if you're curious about the game or just starting out, this might be too much. Please forgive me for saying things like “all of these” when I mean “all 132 of these with two exceptions” for simplicity's sake.

Note: Still focusing on Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate and Monster Hunter Generations here, but sometimes I will mention when Monster Hunter XX (basically the Game of the Year version of MHGen with like 50+% more content – don't worry, you can import your save) adds good balance or quality-of-life changes.

MonHun features 14 different weapon types, divided into two fundamental categories: Blademaster and Gunner. As you may have guessed, Blademasters fight in close range while Gunners attack from afar. 11 of the weapon types are Blademaster and 3 are Gunner types.

Two differences outside of combat are that they get different kinds of armor (with Blademasters getting more defense), and Blademasters need to concern themselves with their weapons' sharpness while Gunners need to keep track of their ammo. Gunner weapons tend to be harder to learn because staying too close or too far, aiming badly, or running out of the good ammo can make your hunts take a looong time (also, your defense is poor), so weapon guides are a must for beginner Gunners. (Small hint: You can make more ammo out in the field.)

The games include five different types of attack attributes: Cutting, Impact, Shot, Element, Status. The first three depend on your weapon type – all Gunner weapons deal Shot damage, while all Blademaster weapons deal Cutting damage, with the exception of the Hammer and the Hunting Horn. Shot has no special characteristics, but Impact weapons let you stun monsters when hitting their head (nice), while Cutting lets you cut off tails (which is the only body part you can actually sever), which increases your chance to get rare drops as well as reduces the range of tail attacks (nice). You might see how teamwork can be useful here: while your Hammer friend stuns the monster, you get an opportunity to cut off its tail for a drop your friend couldn't get on their own.

Element and Status are two attributes that depend on the specific weapon you have equipped. Using the right element against a particular monster can deal great damage, but the wrong pick will likely do nothing. And because the monster's weakness is rarely intuitive, looking up information online pays off. Nice tip: The resistances on the monster's armor will give you a good idea as well. If this sounds like too much work, raw damage is also always good enough by itself. Status, on the other hand, doesn't deal damage but instead triggers a status ailment after landing enough hits. The usefulness of these increases with the number of players, but they aren't a bad solo pick, either. The ailments – Poison, Paralysis, Sleep – are pretty self-explanatory, with the exception of Blast, which “only” goes boom and deals good damage.

As a general rule, the faster a weapon attacks, the more you'll get out of both element and status, but element or Blast in particular are always nice.

Another way to categorize the weapon types is by looking at their gameplay loop. Some weapons build toward something/gain momentum, others “merely” deal damage however they want. You might find either of these types more appealing, so I'm just casually mentioning it here.

All the weapons have a high skill ceiling, but some have lower skill floors than others, for different reasons. These include the complexity of the moveset, the combat loop, stamina management, the movement speed (all weapons are equal when sheathed), the attack speed, how likely you are to trip other players, and sometimes how difficult upgrading/picking a specific weapon is.

A note on stamina: Certain actions (evading, blocking, sprinting) use up stamina. Some weapons have moves that also reduce stamina and can thus lead to situations where you really want to evade but can't. This makes stamina management an integral part of these weapons, while others will rarely ever need to bother.

Going by the in-game order, I'm starting with the

Great Sword The big sword with the heavy hits you can charge for even more power. Very simple moveset, but also attacks very slowly. The poor movement speed leads to a hit-and-run play style where you attack, evade out of the way, and sheathe your weapon until you get the next opportunity. Also has a block for emergencies. Deals high damage to incapacitated monsters, but the real challenge is landing your hits on moving targets.

Long Sword Precise weapon that can dance around monsters. Landing regular hits fills up your Spirit Gauge, which lets you perform your Spirit Combo. The final hit of this combo levels up the gauge to increase your damage. The spirit gauge goes from nothing to white to yellow to red, always with a bigger damage boost, but also draining faster. To keep up all your attack multipliers you'll want to land hits constantly (hint: getting hit yourself means less time to attack). Due to its good range, it is infamous for tripping other players with the Spirit Combo all the time – positioning is key here (and often difficult). In MH4U the red gauge resets completely when it runs out, in MHGen the red gauge only goes back to yellow, which is so much more forgiving and thus better for beginners.

Sword and Shield Good beginner pick. Quick attacks, good movement speed, a shield for blocking (it's very weak, don't rely on it), and it's the only weapon that can use items while unsheathed. Poor range means you'll attack monsters' legs a lot, but this will often trip them and open up better opportunities. Very good with element and status, and with judicious item use can lock monsters down a fair bit or otherwise support other players. Strong enough on its own, too, though. MHGen adds oils that give your attacks very useful effects when applied.

Dual Blades Two swords but fast. Enter the powerful Demon Mode (drains stamina) to fill your Demon Gauge, which lets you use the Demon Mode's good moves without the stamina drain. It runs out over time, so you'll need to re-enter Demon Mode often (it's also very strong, so). Strong and flashy combos, extremely good with element. Poor range means you'll attack legs a lot, and going wild can get you stuck in combos when you should really be dodging. Demon Mode makes stamina management very important. Fast attacks with two blades eat through sharpness quickly compared to other weapons.

Hammer The KO King. Very simple moveset, slow attacks, but they are powerful and stun monsters a lot. Different charge attacks that can be charged while moving around (drains stamina). Range is far from the best, which is pretty dangerous when trying to stun monsters while standing right in front of them. Charge attacks have better range and can be faster, so you'll see a lot of hit-and-run when there is no big opening and the powerful regular three-hit combo when there is. (You can actually attack other parts, too, though).

Hunting Horn The good buffs. Different attacks play different notes, which can be recited to buff everyone in the area. Buffs (and notes) depend on the specific weapon, so while sticking to a few is easily manageable, the more you juggle, the harder it gets to keep track. More useful the more players there are, but is powerful even by itself, so you'll want to actually land hits while playing your songs. Can also stun monsters, but has much better range than the Hammer (weaker per individual hit, though), so it can be a good alternative if the Hammer doesn't quite click. Attacks are still slow, though. Songs include more damage, infinite stamina, earplugs (against roars), and the one song every horn includes improves your movement speed, which makes you the fastest with your weapon drawn. Also, the actual weapons are a lot of different instruments, in case you want to hit dragons with a guitar.

Lance The weapon with the big shield. If MonHun had a real aggro system to manipulate, this would be the tank weapon. Has a powerful shield and moves slowly, but is actually one of the most mobile and flexible weapons and has quick, precise attacks. The guard is very safe (as long as you have stamina), which makes this one another good first pick. Good with element and status, has a counter, can charge forward, advance while guarding… the back hops it gets instead of rolls take some getting used to, though. Gets tripped by all the other weapons because its attacks have like no super armor (i.e. it will get interrupted by all hits).

Gunlance Lance, but Gun. Superficially similar to the Lance, with an equally powerful shield, but trades its mobility for big explosions. The weapons come with one of three shot types, which affect how you play the weapon (extremely simplified: more boom or more pokes). Has trouble sticking to monsters, but excels at breaking tough parts (like shells) and can attack wherever, if necessary. Needs to reload, and shelling eats faster through the weapon's sharpness. Be careful playing online because your explosions do knock back players. New in MHGen is the Heat Gauge. Basically, using the gun a lot makes the lance stronger, unless you overheat. (I actually prefer this version, sorry.)

Switch Axe Switches between Axe Mode and Sword Mode. The latter is slow, but has strong, quick attacks. These drain your energy, which you can refill by fighting in Axe Mode (or sheathing your weapon or reloading manually). The axe has slower, stronger attacks, but moves quicker. Both modes are very powerful and have good reach, but the Sword Mode gets a bonus to damage/element/status depending on the specific weapon. MHGen infamously lets you stay in Sword Mode forever, if you so wish (a lot of people do).

Charge Blade Probably the most complex Blademaster weapon. Has a Sword Mode similar to SNS and an Axe Mode. Landing hits in Sword Mode lets you charge your phials, which you can then use in the less mobile, but more powerful Axe Mode. Phials deal either Impact damage (they stun monsters really well) or big elemental damage. Always has several options in every situation, so wrapping your head around it can take a while. Gets more complicated if you also charge your shield (it's also the head of the axe, it's pretty cool), which makes the weapon stronger in several ways, so you probably do want to. Is actually good at guarding in Sword Mode and Axe Mode hits hard and can go boom. Really broken in MH4U, redesigned for MHGen in a way that I think makes it more fun (don't worry, MHXX makes the Ultra more than a penalty for not canceling into the Super again).

Insect Glaive You get a bug friend! Send it out to collect extracts from the monsters to buff yourself (aiming and knowing what to get where can be a bit tricky). They don't last that long, but they are very useful, so you'll want to refresh them when necessary. Good movement speed and protection against roars and wind pressure (thanks, bug friend), fast attacks, good with element and status, and it can jump. In MH4U this makes it the unrivaled queen of mounting monsters. However, upgrading is a huge pain, because you also need to upgrade your Kinsect. For every Weapon. It gets better with every new MonHun iteration, but it is still expensive and a lot of work compared to other weapons, especially early on. In MH4U it's also a weird math puzzle (there's guides). MHGen simplifies it and MHXX just straight up lets you transfer the bugs between weapons. Thanks, Capcom.

Light Bowgun The gun. Depending on the ammo the specific weapon can load, you can do a lot of things with it. Thanks to rapid fire very good with element and especially status, but also good for regular damage. Shot types lean toward either precision (“normal”) shots or piercing shots, which also affects how far you want to stay away (not actually that far, usually). The Bowguns come with internal ammo that gets refilled on every quest to make life easier for you. Quick and mobile, unlike the

Heavy Bowgun The big gun. The big damage. Moves like you're carrying a rock. The combination of slow movement and thin Gunner armor makes this not exactly the best choice for beginners. Takes long to sheathe the weapon, so you'll still want to stick to rolling with this one. Despite all of this, staying on the other side of the map is also not the best option if you want to hit anything, so knowing the monsters and getting out of the way quickly enough is important. However, it deals huge damage, especially in siege mode. Please try the Light Bowgun first.

Bow The Blademaster's first “gun”. Charge shots (drains stamina) while moving out of the way of attacks and getting in position. Like the Bowguns, has different shot types determining the sweet spot when it comes to distance and where to aim. Unlike Bowguns, can get away with not aiming most of the time. Apply coatings for a damage boost or to cause status ailments (depending on the weapon). Very good with element, very good damage while the coatings last, but drops off when they run out.

Prowler You can be a cat! The 15th “weapon”, introduced in MHGen. Can't use items at all, but instead comes with Support Moves that are basically special attacks, buffs, or the Prowler equivalent of items. These moves use up a gauge that fills up when you do certain actions like attacking or even gathering. They are partially customizable (you scout cats with different skillsets) and can do all the things your Palicos (the AI cats who help you when you're playing solo) can do. This means a lot of very useful support abilities. Cats built around damage (boomerangs, mostly), however, are really strong and on the same level as human hunters. Very quick, very good with element, unlimited stamina, can block and even hide underground. Can be very simple or pretty complex, depending on how deep you go.

On Hunter Styles and Arts:

MHGen introduces these two systems. Hunter Arts are special moves that you charge by attacking. Some of these are weapon-specific and usually either try to compensate for a weakness (the Gunlance's Blast Dash lets you close long distances) or improve a strength (the Great Sword's Lion's Maw makes your next attack, probably a charge, stronger). Others are usable for all weapons (Absolute Evasion and Readiness in particular give you a useful dodge and are thus always a good pick). How many Arts you get depends on your Hunting Style.

MHGen has four Styles. If you're new to a weapon, Guild is your best bet. With few exceptions, it is exactly like in MH4U and thus a good all-rounder. Gets two Arts, too. The other styles change the movesets a bit, which can be very confusing if you're still struggling with Guild. Striker simplifies the moveset (back to MH3U, usually) and gives you three Arts that also charge faster. Good if you prefer the moveset or your weapon has very useful Arts Aerial lets you vault off monsters and usually locks the weapons' strongest attacks behind these jumping attacks. Adept gives you an improved evade or guard with a counter attack. For some weapons the counter is a nice bonus, for others it becomes what the weapon revolves around (Long Sword can only level up the gauge with the counter attack). Aerial and Adept both get one Art and have in common that they're situational for most weapons. Aerial especially, but Adept can also get pretty tricky to use when the monster is relatively small or runs around everywhere (see: Yian Kut-Ku). Whether you stick to one style (per weapon) or switch depending on the quest is up to you.

That's it for this overview. I hope you've found a weapon or seven to love, because they're all good and worth using. Experiment with them, because finding something that works for you is vital for enjoying the game. Google will still answer most of the question you might have, but I'm also here, if you prefer.

Capcom, Monster Hunter XX for the West, pretty please.

#Monster Hunter #guide #monster hunter 4 ultimate #monster hunter generations #monster hunter 101

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