#but i think this also applies to just strangers being strangers on the internet

[thedarknesseater]

This is certainly v weird, but I'm realising that I don't really like random strangers on the internet (not my beloved moots) using she/her for me. It's they/them to you.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I deleted the ask, but someone wrote one basically saying "why do you post reaction videos to Helluva Boss? Don't you know the show exploits its workers and they're overworked and get burned out?"

And, I mean, I love your energy, person who asked, definitely hold on to those values and speak up about this. But also, I am afraid I might have some bad news for you about literally the whole entire animation industry.

As near as I can make out from the sparse journalistic reporting that's been done on SpindleHorse -- and as a sidebar, please for the love of god read actual reporting about these things and not just callout posts and fandom discourse -- as near as I can make out, SpindleHorse as a studio is neither all that much better nor all that much worse than basically anywhere else in the industry on their level. It seems like it is (or was? Hazbin Hotel seems to be run differently) a studio mostly run by contracting people on a project-by-project basis, which leads to a crapton of turnover, and a huge need for organizing and onboarding, which according to the reporting I have read, the producers and freelancers have struggled to balance and manage properly, which has negatively impacted a number of the workers.

Top that with the usual catty, clique-based backbiting, sniping and poorly managed conflict resolution that's just kinda endemic in creative environments mostly staffed by twentysomethings and stressed out freelancers, and you have the recipe for a workplace where a lot of people are going to have a great time and feel creatively fulfilled, and a lot of people are going to come away feeling justifiably burnt the fuck out and exploited.

All of this is... not especially unusual for the animation industry, or indeed for any creative industry. Which is not to say that it is good, or that it should be allowed to be normal, or that it shouldn't be reported on and criticized (and please for the love of god support unionization efforts because that's the only thing that will actually address these kinds of systemic problems). It's just to say that if those kinds of issues are the line in the sand you draw where you refuse to engage with a studio's output...

Then, for starters, say goodbye to basically all of anime, because the Japanese animation industry is actively in a state of crisis trying to recruit new talent because its working conditions and pay are so astonishingly abysmal. And the horror stories that escape from that industry make the issues at SpindleHorse look like summer camp at times.

But you also have to say goodbye to a lot of American and European animation. Please do not imagine that Disney and its subcontractors, or that Nickelodeon or Warner Bros, are benevolent employers. They exploit their staff brutally and are currently trying to crush the labor value of animation with threats of generative AI being used to replace jobs. But those corporations also have extremely well-funded PR departments and the ability to silence employees with NDAs and threats of blackballing, so you don't get to hear as many of the horror stories as you might from a smaller independent studio that's less able to silence criticism by holding people's careers hostage.

All of this is to say that 1) it's valid and important to have criticism of both large and small-scale animation studios, and to keep the well-being and happiness of the workers higher in your priorities than the output of Products™.

And 2) if you're going to have a principle for what kinds of problems make a studio's output morally untouchable for you, and what kinds of problems you think should make a studio's output untouchable to other people, you do need to apply that principle consistently to the entire industry, and not just to the independent animation studio that happens to be surrounded by the internet's most inflammatory fandom discourse.

If you don't apply that principle consistently, maybe don't send reproachful messages to strangers scolding them for not living up to your standards, and even if you do apply that principle consistently, maybe still don't do that, because it's mostly quite annoying, and doesn't really do anything to support animation workers struggling for better working conditions.

The Animation Guild in the US is currently in the middle of a bargaining process with their industry, and they have a social media press kit as well as relevant talking points on their website which you can use to post in solidarity with the workers. If it comes to a full industry strike, consider donating to their strike funds to help them maintain pressure. Outside of the US, try and find out what (if any) local unions exist for animation workers, and maybe sign up to their mailing lists. They will let you know what kind of support they need from you.

[janmisali]

what do you think of tone indicators in general?

unfortunately my thoughts on tone indicators are somewhat nuanced. fortunately, this is tumblr not twitter, so I can just write out my full thoughts in one post and be as verbose about it as feels necessary.

speaking as an autistic person (and I know there are other autistic people who don't hold this same view, this is just my perspective), I think as an accessibility tool, the extended set tone indicators in current popular use is fundamentally misguided.

the oldest ones, /s for sarcasm and /j for jokes, make sense. their notation isn't the most intuitive thing ("does /s mean sarcastic or serious?") but it's not too difficult to explain what they mean. I've had to spend my whole life learning by brute force what different tones of voice mean and what they change about how I'm supposed to interpret something, so I already know what "read this in a sarcastic voice" and "read this as a joke" are supposed to mean. my existing skills can be translated into the new form without too much effort.

the same thing applies to emoji and emoticons. I know what facial expressions mean, because I had to learn what they mean. figuring out if :) is sincere or not from context is a skill I've already needed to develop. it doesn't come naturally for me, but it's something I already at least somewhat know how to do.

most of the tone indicators in current use uh. don't work like this.

tone indicators like /ref or /nbh don't correspond to specific tones of voice. I don't have a "I'm making a reference" voice or a "I'm not talking about a person who's here" voice that I can picture the sentence being read in. these do not indicate tones, they're purely disambiguators. they clarify what something means without necessarily changing how it would be read out loud.

and on paper, that's fine, right? like, it's theoretically a good thing to take an otherwise ambiguous statement and add something to it that clarifies what you meant by it. the problem is that these non-tone tone indicators are not even remotely self-explanatory. it's up to me, the person who is being clarified to, to know what all these acronyms are supposed to mean, and how they change the way I'm supposed to interpret what something means.

it's, quite literally, a newly-invented second set of social cues that I'm expected to learn separately from the set that I've already spent my whole life figuring out, and it works completely differently.

sure, these rules are (in principle) less arbitrary than the rules of facial expressions and tones of voice and how long you're supposed to wait before it's your turn to speak, but they're also fully artificial and recently invented, which means they're currently in a constant state of flux. tone indicators go in and out of fashion all the time, and the "comprehensive lists" are never helpful.

in theory, I appreciate the idea of people going out of their way to clarify what they mean by potentially ambiguous things they post online. if it worked, that would be a really nice thing to do.

however, sometimes I imagine what the internet would be like without them. what if instead of using /s, the expectation was that if you're sarcastic online there's no guarantee that strangers reading your post will know what you meant? what if instead of inventing more and more acronyms to cover every possible potentially confusing situation, we just... expected one another to speak less ambiguously in the first place?

so, I on paper like the idea of tone indicators. I think it's good that some people are trying to be considerate by being extra clear about what they mean by things. but if tone indicators didn't exist, and people who wanted to be considerate in this way instead just made a point of phrasing things more clearly to begin with, I think that would be vastly preferable to even the most well-implemented tone indicator system.

also /pos sucks because there's something deeply and profoundly wrong for an abbreviation that means "I don't mean this as an insult, don't worry" to be spelled the same way as an acronym that's an insult

[kiophen]

genuine question, do you think callout posts are inherently evil? like if someone's doing some weird shit and hiding it i think people would want to be warned about that at least. just try to discourage harassment as much as possible

The existence of a callout posts means that the targeted person will be harassed if enough people see it. There is no amount of "don't harass anyone mentioned in this doc/video" disclaimers that will prevent that. The post is now potentially a permanent record that anyone can cite for years into the future. You are now at the whims of unknown strangers to be banned from communities, kicked out of creative projects, or be blocked by friends, at any time with no warning. I would consider this to be harassment, but to people who don't know about how these things usually go down they would be seen as righteous whistle blowers.

No matter what you actually did, if your awkward interaction with someone was too sexual, or if you stated a shitty opinion about a complex topic, or if you misjudged someone's boundaries, or if you engaged with kink in a way that made someone outside the scene uncomfortable, you are now a predator. I have seen firsthand the game of telephone starting from "this person did/said something sexualized on an online platform where teenagers could have been present," to "acted creepy around teenagers," to "regularly sexually assaulted children," to "pedophile".

Callout posts do not actually stop the person from "doing weird shit". It depends on what you mean by "weird shit", but if you mean "secretly draws/engages with Bad Porn", which is what a lot of callout posts are about, I implore you to recognize that it is truly not your business to know every private action someone takes just because you follow them on social media. This applies to awkward interactions people have in private too. Sometimes it's patterns of abuse, but a lot of the time it's interpersonal drama that is not anyone else's business.

If by "weird shit" you mean that someone has demonstrated ongoing patterns of real emotional/financial/sexual/etc abuse, and it's something that cannot be handled by any other means (either privately or with legal action if relevant), then in those cases a callout post can potentially do more good than harm if it reaches the people that need to know about it.

The level of long-term mental anguish that a target can go through is absolutely no fucking joke. A callout post has the potential to be a gun to someone's head, especially if they're socially/mentally/physically disadvantaged to begin with, which conveniently describes the most likely people to be targeted with high profile callout posts. [This is because: 1.) Our communities are wayy more likely to self-police than the rest of the internet and 2.) there are groups such as kiwifarms that love when a trans girl does something they can suicide bait her with and they also love it when we infight, isolate, and attack each other.]

I don't think callout posts are inherently evil, but they do nothing to make the target not continue their unwanted behavior. The only good function a callout post can serve is to warn potential future victims. If there are no victims, no behavior that will DIRECTLY lead to someone being victimized, no scam being uncovered, no patterns of abuse being shared, then the only victim is the target of the callout post. Everyone else involved is just gawking at gossip and/or contributing to suicidal levels of anxiety to a stranger.

[pro-sipper]

I understand that we should just block content we don't wanna see, but I still think things like proships or ships that are wrong and illegal in irl should be kept private. Because that is exposing kids to the romantization of abuse, incest, and pedophilia. This content may expose them to predators, which could cause them harmful trauma, the type that people claim to use proshipping for. They may think that a person older than them liking a kid is ok, even though the adult has bad intentions. We know that they are fictional characters, but they represent real people and can still affect kids. And if this isn't supposed to affect them irl, why do so many groomers show proship media and illegal art to grow kids?

Don't want to start anything just curious

I think the short version of the argument is basically "the internet shouldn't have to be a 100% sanitized and safe space for children". But getting further into it...

"but I still think things like proships or ships that are wrong and illegal in irl should be kept private."

It's not worth mentioning now but "proships" aren't a thing. Proship doesn't stand for problematic ship, it's not an adjective.

My question is why this line of thinking only applies to ships? Murder and cannibalism are also illegal, but no one's going around saying you should keep your love of horror to yourself, or only watch R rated movies in the privacy of your own home.

"Because that is exposing kids to the romantization of abuse, incest, and pedophilia."

The majority of people interacting with media like this, or making posts about this, DO NOT want kids interacting with their content! They slap every rating, warning label, and trigger tag under the sun onto their work to say that it is not for kids. At the end of the day, that's all you can do. It is not one random proshipper's job to shelter every single child in the world.

Furthermore, kids are exposed to that crap from plenty of other places besides randos on tumblr. Walking into a library or turning on a television can easily expose kids to these topics just as much as going onto ao3 or opening tumblr could. That doesn't mean every professional author or tv writer on earth needs to create art that's palatable for children. Because that's not their responsibility.

"This content may expose them to predators"

It's grim to say, but literally anything on earth could potentially expose a child to a predator. Getting on the bus, going to the park, going to school, going to church, going to a friend's house, going home. Honestly I think it's a bit of a privileged mindset to think that a child would be 100% safe in this world if it weren't for faceless boogeymen online committing the sin of writing dark fic of their Blorbos.

"which could cause them harmful trauma,"

Again, that trauma could come from anywhere. And you're putting the weight of preventing that onto random strangers online, not anyone who's concretely in the hypothetical child's life, or actually responsible for them

"the type that people claim to use proshipping for"

Appreciate the subtleties of invalidating other people's trauma. Just because you don't have the same coping mechanisms doesn't mean theirs are invalid. Especially when countless licensed therapists agree that writing is one of the better ways you can help process trauma.

And to state the obvious, you don't need to have trauma to be a proshipper. Not everyone uses dark content for self reflection, some people just think it's neat.

"They may think that a person older than them liking a kid is ok, even though the adult has bad intentions."

A kid should not be getting 100%, or even most of their life lessons from fictional media. Parents, guardians, teachers, and other trusted adults in a child's life are the ones who need to teach them right from wrong, and how to protect themselves. I remember being a kid and being told by my mom "now if a stranger pulls up to you and says they lost their puppy and they'll give you candy if you help them look for it, do NOT go with them". That was her job as a parent.

Now I know that sadly, not every child has that kind of trusted adult in their life. But it's not the responsibility of a bunch of fanfic authors on tumblr to fill in the gaps.

"We know that they are fictional characters, but they represent real people and can still affect kids."

It doesn't matter how closely or loosely fiction depicts our reality, it's still just fiction at the end of the day. Movies have been using the whole "Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental" disclaimer for almost as long as there have been movies.

"And if this isn't supposed to affect them irl, why do so many groomers show proship media and illegal art to grow kids?"

One, art is not illegal. Unless you get caught graffiti-ing, then you might get fined. And no one is saying this kind of thing can't affect a child. But why, in this scenario, are you putting the blame on fanfic authors and fanartists before putting the blame on the actual groomer??

And again I ask, what exactly is "proship media" anyway? I'm guessing the kind of stuff that constantly appears on people's DNI lists, which could be anything from Steven Universe to Cannibal Holocaust, so who really knows??

Like I said in the short version, the internet should not have to be sanitized for the sake of the children. The entire internet does not need to be one giant safe space for kids. Adults have a right to talk about adult things with other adults. To explore dark topics in fiction, or to have fun with taboos in a harmless way.

I want the world to be safe for kids too. But the way to do that isn't to forbid adults from posting shit online. Instead of trying to shield children from every controversial, difficult, or uncomfortable topic under the sun, give them the tools they need to learn how to process these things.

Be a safe person to talk to if a kid has a question. Help them understand why something might be okay in a fantasy setting, but it's not something that should carry over into real life (like, a fairy tale prince kissing an sleeping princess to break a curse is fine, but in real life where there's no magic you should always make sure someone is okay with it before kissing them. Something like that)

Teach them internet safety, above all else. When I was a kid, you didn't give out any personal info. Nowadays kids have no qualms about giving out their full name, age, list of phobias and disorders, showing their school, their house - the list goes on.

Honestly, I think we need to go back to scaring kids with Stranger Danger, at least a little. But that's starting to veer into a different topic and I think I've said all I need to say about this one today.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

perhaps a bit of an odd question: so, when I'm scrolling tumblr on mobile, I have a habit of downloading most images i come across, so that I can send them to people who don't use tumblr, especially memes and animal photos. however, i also have severe memory issues, and I may end up forgetting where i got certain images. i know for the photo repository one of the rules is to not repost the photos without any modification- which i might forget, or forget which images on my phone fall under that rule. and while i would guess that that rule doesn't apply to stuff like direct messages or texts, i might forget to tell the person I'm sending it to, who might repost it elsewhere without being aware, or months after downloading i will just forget and use one of the photos in a post I'm making because it felt relevant.

this is something i can pretty easily solve myself by just blocking the photo repository blog, or tags relating to it, but I'd rather not do that because i do really like seeing the photos and all the info and stuff. and i would assume it would be an insane amount of work for you to add something like a watermark to every single photo, so I'm not really sure how to go about this. i like seeing the photos, but i don't want to accidentally break the rules.

You clearly care deeply about doing the "right thing", so, what that tells me is that you're not actually the target audience for that rule. I appreciate all the thought you put into this message. Let's talk about it!

I've been reconsidering if requiring people to get permission for reposting images is the best policy to have and I'd like people to weigh in.

My original reasoning was this: the more I can ensure that reposts are affiliated with credit, the better I can control copyright on the images on the site, and therefore have more ground to challenge any scrapers/fake accounts/AR groups that yoink them for nefarious purposes. The easiest way to do that seemed to be to have people ping and ask, with the expectation of saying yes almost all the time.

But there's a couple problems with that, I think, in practice:

People don't like emailing strangers (I forget this! I have done it for work for so many years it isn't uncomfortable anymore).

This isn't how the internet works. (Tumblr has a specific microculture that encourages crediting creators and not stealing! Once this is shared more widely on other platforms, I don't expect it'll be the same ecosystem).

It actually undermines organic spread of content! (You're less likely to make an excited post about a cool photo if you have to send a maybe-scary email and wait for a response). And I do want there to be lots of eyeballs on the photos.

Realistically, @nexus-nebulae, with the policy right now? If you slipped up and reposted something without thinking, I'd just ask you to add credit to the post so it directs back to the site. The goal of this whole project is community access and engagement - I want to you to enjoy the photos, and send them to your friends! I'm just trying to also protect it from the awful that a lot of the internet has become.

But, I'm also wondering it it makes sense to swap the policy to say that it's fine to re-post images on socials as long as they're appropriately credited and/or linked back to the repository. This isn't the policy yet, but if you're reading this please tell me what you're thinking.

Non-edited image use (like putting them in a scientific paper, using them to build a curriculum unit, or putting them on board game cards - these are just random examples) would still need to be requested; but that's an entirely protective stance and if you ask, my goal is to always say yes.

So OP, please don't worry too much. Enjoy looking at the animals, do your best, and I'll be happy. :)

[velvetvexations]

apologies for not having links but i blocked everyone on the whole thread and i don't care to willingly seek it out again but on the subject of dropout discourse – i saw someone say there needed to be a list of which dropout members were white vs poc in a similar vein to the tme vs tma trans people stats list and........ do.... do you not see how that's literally tokenizing real life people and their identities.... do you not see how sorting REAL people into groups to determine if a media company is diverse enough is.... not exactly the leftist praxis you think it is? maybe instead, idk, support & uplift comedians of color instead of argue about identity politics online? maybe do antiracist work in real life instead of just infighting? or even actually write to Dropout and articulate any worries you have with regards to diversity & inclusion?

(and if you want to make it worse someone on the thread said they weren't "sure if some people (specifically Zac Oyama) 'counted' as people of color" like?????? 1) if you admit to not being sure if someone counts as a poc then maybe you, a stranger on the internet, is not qualified to make a list about real people's identities which can be both fluid and personal 2) maybe such a list isn't actually as useful as you think it is 3) there was literally a College Humor sketch about parodying the idea of being Asian 'enough' featuring Zac *years* ago)

it also just feels like such a clear example of taking the latest queer discourse and trying to justify it by going "well WHAT IF we apply this to race??" when 1) it's usually white people drawing those comparisons (though idk if these people were white or not) and 2) as such is usually a gross misunderstanding of racism and 3) often makes the original point *much* worse.

his last name is Oyama what do these fucking people want

no, you know what? I hope they do it, please Dropout fandom, make the racism version of the tee em ay stats, I dare you

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

Genuine question, how does one deal with someone being so insistent on their lack of (self-)worth? Not to vent too much, but I grew up with someone who was at least as bad, if not worse than Ragatha. I developed similar habits (this comic is a painful reminder of that) and my friends also tend to struggle with these feelings. But I never know how to deal with these issues, and it just leaves me feeling helpless.

I believe you‘re not a psychologist and it‘s fine if you don‘t want to answer this. But if you do have some advice or resources on this topic, I‘d love to know about it.

hi !

you're right , i am Not a psychologist ! my only credential is pretty much having it as my special interest of many years , so ... ! obligatory ' take this with a grain of salt ' disclaimer

i'm only answering this ask because i do like talking about these kinds of stuff ( in fact i'm in the middle of writing another psychology infographic with ragatha because of Course i am , ) and it's Relevant right now ... but for the most part i am literally just a stranger on the internet and thus i'll only be giving out general advice !! any specifics of the situation are stuff you'll need to figure out yourself

number one thing is that you should Always Take Care Of Yourself . it may be hard to admit , but these types of people can actually be Emotionally Draining - and i'm saying that as someone who had to deal with those people myself . and well you don't want to accidentally say things that make them feel worse

second thing is that a lot of it is ... really the other person's effort . all you can do is be supportive and gently encourage them . what took me so long to accept is that no amount of words or compliments will lift someone's self-esteem up - while it helps , it really has to come from Within , and that's something that'll take months or Years to build up . you can't force someone to start loving themself - and that's a hard pill to swallow

and the third thing is that ... well . there's a possibility that it could be a symptom of a mental disorder and thus you should encourage them to seek professional help . i am aware that the option is not available for everyone though , but i think recognizing that it might be a mental problem might take the burden off of you a little - as they're not really things a non-professional should handle .

as for resources , this article was extensive about this topic , including recognizing where the low self-esteem comes from , what Not to say to someone with low self-esteem , and tips that'll help the person ! very wonderful to read .

this article is for partners but i think it applies to people you're close with in general . what i like about it is how it Encourages open communication and listening . something you'll realize is that it's Different for everybody and it's good to learn more about the problem than jumping to a hasty solution or making assumptions . also it encourages them to talk more about their Feelings and talking about your feelings is what Very Cool And Hot People Do !

oh God sorry for the long post this should be enough to give me a diagnosis -

[pinkkop]

Day 43 - 15 Days BL Challenge (part 3)

Day 43 - Let’s get delulu, which branded pairing should just get married already? (Note: this is all for fun and giggles, we’re not actually speculating on anyone’s sexuality or relationships.)

Edit: Fair warning, this post got away from me, so here's a tangent about BL pairs first. I won't get offended if you just skip to me talking about BillyBabe.

When it comes to BL pairings I'm very much someone who won't 100% believe that a BL pairing is actually dating as long as there's any financial gain from them pretending to be a couple. (Which is almost all the time for a pairing who's last show was together or that has an upcoming show together or anything vaguely like that)

So as long as there's even the smallest chance that actors are aware of the camera filming or taking pictures of them, then I view their interactions through the lens of fan-service.

This is not to invalidate the love that's between some of these pairings or say that any fan, who does think a pairing is dating, is lying, but since fan-service is a big part of BL, we're always going to have pairings acting it up and I think leaning into the idea that pairings are dating is a slippery slope.

When we decide we think a pairing is dating, we suddenly have a lot more stake in the pairing and it opens up for so many possibilities for people's feelings to get hurt and hurt people are more likely to lash out.

We've already seen it a good handful of times when it comes out that an actor in a pairing is dating someone else or that the actors in the pairing really aren't very close. When that happens fans feel deceived and hurt, get mad and lash out. "Fans" get nasty and start treating the actors and/or their real life partners horribly, because "how could they deceive us like this?"

This could really be applied to anything we believe to be true about an actor. Sexuality, personality, friendships etc. as long as it's something personal to the actor.

And if you're reading this and are thinking "I wouldn't do that!", then I'm sure you're right, I'd like to think this about myself as well, but some fans would and have done exactly that. And it's just hard to know exactly how you'll react until it does happen. Maybe we won't lash out at the actor but we might still turn our back on the actor and help fuel the fire of hurt and anger in the fandom, even if the actor really never did anything wrong, we just assumed.

Bottom line: I'll happily engage in fan-service but as long as a pairing's working together in some way then I'll never be 100% convinced the pairing's actually dating and I think keeping the actors and their personal lives at an arms length is good for both the fans and the actor in the long run.

Anyways, now lets talk about a specific BL pairing because I guess that's what the prompt was actually about...

Billy and Babe!

These two!

I know I already said that I view BL pairings through the lens of fan-service whenever they're in front of a camera but what the fuck are these two doing?! It's like they're doing fan-service on speed!

Making one after the other of really intimate vlogs where they put up a camera and show the fans exactly how close they are. Like some of the things they're sharing in the vlogs are honestly too intimate to share with strangers on the internet if you ask me. Like:

Straight up cuddling in bed in probably just their underwear(?) before getting out of bed in the morning 🤯

Being domestic AF in their hotel room just in robes and underwear (?) 🤯

Whatever it is Billy finds funny about Babe saying that he "Slept so well" 🤯

And finally them being the antitheses to 'two bros chilling in a hot tub, 5 feet away because they're not gay' here 🤯

Apparently their company has come out and said that they don't control any of the things that BillyBabe film in their vlogs and Babe has also recently said he isn't single. Like what the fuck, guys?!

I honestly really hope that this doesn't give any other BL pairings ideas because I don't want this to push the boundaries of what's normal for fan-service. Because this isn't something you just do with your bro and if they aren't actually dating and are instead just playing the part of dating, I think they're taking it too far.

Anyways, I'm mostly just curious to see how this evolve and what happens when they aren't working together anymore.

Maybe they're dating, maybe they're fuck buddies, maybe they're just the best of friends, or maybe they are none of those. Either way, it's none of my business! I just hope they're happy.

The original challenge is here, part two here and part three here.

[northern-passage]

is it weird/wrong of me to always play a lesbian character as a man? like no mater what if game i always try and be female, the man mc i just can fit into as a man myself. i dont think its anything to do with wanting to be a woman (but if i was reborn and able to chose how i looked and what gender i would be i would pick to be a woman) im just a bit confused becuse i have seen people say that im basiclly sexuallising lesbians and its very wrong of me to do that. im just lost becuse it dont want to sexualise that but i just feel more comfrotble being a woman in the game becuse it feels like im able to express myself more/be more emotinal, but if im a man ingame it jusr feels wrong of me to do any of that, like im not soppused to.

well... it doesn't really sound like you're sexualizing anyone. what you've described here doesn't really seem to have anything to do with sex in that way at all. it sounds like you just feel more comfortable playing as a woman and there's nothing wrong with that.

there are definitely some games that do write their male and female mcs differently & force them into a very strict gender role (ie man is always big, strong, stoic & masculine whereas woman is always small, dainty, emotional & feminine) and i can definitely understand that it can be uncomfortable being forced into that little box. as a butch lesbian myself i often don't like playing as a stereotypical "submissive feminine woman" & will sometimes choose to play as a man instead to avoid it.

there is absolutely nothing wrong with playing games or exploring characters that are different from you. in fact i think it's very important to learn about other people's experiences. my other game, blood choke, has a lesbian mc but i have no issue with other people playing it; in fact i encourage it!

and now, to be clear, i absolutely am just a random stranger on the internet and there is no way i can extrapolate anything about you and nor do i want to assume anything. but i really really urge you to maybe do some reflecting about why you may feel this way. maybe you are just uncomfortable with being confined to specific gender roles and that's absolutely fair on its own. we live in a patriarchal society that puts a lot of pressure on both women and men to be a certain way. you can express yourself and be emotional as a man, regardless of what society says, if that's what you want. and you can play games as a woman if that makes it easier for you to do that.

but you also just admitted to me that you feel more comfortable playing as a woman in self-insert games because you feel like you can better express yourself as a woman, and that if you had the chance, you would purposefully choose to be a woman in real life.

i feel like i have to let you know that you can actually be a woman in real life, right now, if that is what you really want instead.

at the end of the day i can't tell you what it is that you want nor can i really give you "permission" to do something. maybe none of this really applies to you at all-- again, i'm just a random person on the internet. i don't know you. but based on what you just told me i think it would be worth it for you to sit in these feelings and really think about them and what they may mean. maybe it means nothing. or.... maybe you learn something new about yourself.

either way, just know that what you're doing-- playing as a woman/lesbian-- is fine. especially if it is something that brings you comfort & allows you to express yourself in a way that you feel you normally can't.

much love to you anon 🫶

[lookismstuff]

On Why Vin Stopped Mary

SPOILERS ALERT

I know many of you want to see Mary in action scenes, but Vin didn't stop Mary's intention to kill Taejin because he was being gentlemanly or because he undermined her strengths. He knows just how formidable she is as a fighter.

Vin just didn't want Mary to become another murderer.

I might be wrong and I apologize for this, but from what I read and watch, basically in Korea if you kill someone the murderer label will stay with you for the rest of your life, especially when the reason is not considered righteous (think defending one's country, or one's family). "MURDERER" might be your only label. It might also be your entire family's only label, whether they're complicit in the murder or not.

People will probably vandalize your house. They will probably write the word "Murderer" on the outer walls or on your front door and the stain will be difficult to remove. People will terrorize and bash you and your family in the streets and on the internet and it may last forever and it will haunt you all. People will take note of your records when you apply for jobs, apply for schools, get married, get a bank account. Even though you committed that murder as a minor, your criminal records as a murderer may leak or be exposed and you're done for.

Look at D.G. How the one murder he committed as young James Lee is basically the sword that hang above his head. Remember that both Charles Choi and Eugene had each been using it to control him. Look at Vin, who had to cut off all contacts and leave town. Remember how random strangers jeered and stared at him during the illegal underground fight club scenes when Workers openly called him a murderer.

Vin would never let Mary go through the same agony he'd been going through.

[supersoftly]

I'm not sure whether I should be surprised or not that the people who let randos on the internet vet or condemn strangers via shinigami eyes, are the same people who let randos on the internet vet or condemn donation scams. They really love outsourcing their thinking, don't they?

They really love outsourcing their thinking, don't they?

Imma be real with you and say this is the root of a lot of these kind of issues where it requires critical thinking skills to be applied vigilantly. In all aspects of life, leaving decision making in the hands of others makes you progressively lazier and more apathetic to what control you have around you imho. I'm not trying to be smarmy, it's just what I've witnessed and what I've gone through when I was surrounded by people like this and also personally heavily reliant on the faith of other people or systems. You simply cannot trust that these things will always function usefully in a living, growing environment that changes everyday, only you can be responsible for your own decision making during your life, and extra specially so when it involves being scammed whether it's through money or ideologically so.

[novvaable]

fur baby + life update 🐈🌱

sometimes it’s fun to use tumblr (ig as its intended purpose) to just blog into the void for random strangers in the internet to read 🫶🏼

it’s been almost 3 months (?!?!) since I moved and I’m already slowly but surely planning out how to decorate each room to make it feel like home lol. easier said than done. the kitties and myself appreciate all the extra space, and arguably, the cats have been getting on a lot better as they’re not ontop of one another.

the new job is going .. okay. im not sure if its for me just yet. the whole reason i so desperately wanted to leave my last job was because of the lack of progression and opportunity to earn more money. unfortunately I brought into the dream i was sold when being offered this job that those opportunities existed, when in matter of fact, I really don’t think they do 🫡 the training for the job is a bit intense, so ive promised myself to persevere until I actually get some physical experience in the job and make my decision then. (also because looking / applying / interviewing for jobs is so incredibly tedious).

but ig in the grand scheme of things, I’m heading in the right direction. i have achieved 2/3 new years resolutions - move into a bigger house and get a new job. buuuutt… the caveat of finding a new job was that I wanted to be happy. so I can’t say that’s fully ticked off just yet. we’ll see how it goes!!

[unreleasedtaylorsongs]

Hey so, don’t do this!

I’m not dropping their URLs for obvious reasons (They’re both clearly newly made blogs anyway, possibly because they knew what they were doing was rude) but this is the absolute WORST attitude to have. There is so much to unpack here. and it’s kind of a bit comical. This got kind of long, so I’m putting the rest under a cut.

First off, just because you used the word ‘please’ does not mean you’re being nice or have any manners whatsoever. Second, asking a stranger you never talked to before for something, giving them a deadline of a few days, then telling them to ‘be quick’ and that you ‘need’ something from them is actually so so so insane. I learned that lesson when I was twelve, the first year I had access to the internet. Technically, I learned it before then, because the same rules apply in real life. You don’t talk to strangers that way in real life. Too many people online have this idea that societal rules, general kindness and basic empathy don’t apply once they go online, and it’s one of the worst things that has ever happened to the internet. Also, what the hell do you ‘need’ unreleased demos for? Like, genuinely. I can’t even come up with anything as a joke. And uh, “Girl I know you’re active.” Huh??? I don’t care that you know I’m active, I’m not giving you anything regardless of how chronically online I am since you came off so harsh and demanding right from the start. For the next message, I’m assuming they meant ‘pick up the pace’ which, again, is demanding something from a complete stranger who owes you nothing. So no, I’m not giving anything to anyone who feels entitled enough to demand something from a stranger so brazenly. No one in the unreleased community, or any community I can think of, is willing to share things that they have spent years collecting to someone who demands like this.

As for the second person, I’ll admit, I at least have to admire their dedication. A few messages (the screenshot doesn’t show all of them) spanning across two and a half weeks before they eventually gave up. Kind of like a crazy guy on Tinder constantly messaging someone who has ghosted them due to their obsessive behavior. And that’s what this is! Obsessive behavior! I get being obsessed with Taylor Swift and her unreleased stuff; I am too! But it is not normal to demand for someone’s entire library that they spent over a decade collecting, especially someone that you have never messaged before.

I’d like to add: I know I don’t own any of Taylor’s demos. None of the live recordings, remixes, unreleased, demos, or anything of the sort are truly mine. But that does not mean I didn’t put effort into getting them. So much of my library is ripped from YouTube way back in 2013 with a YouTube to MP3 converter, then dragging it into iTunes and editing the metadata track by track, then photoshopping and editing pictures so I can make album covers for them. Some of my audios are from Vimeo (does that even still exist?) and converted into MP3s. Some of my library is downloaded from Tumblr also over ten years ago from blogs that have since been deactivated. Some of my library comes from sketchy MediaFire files that I had to go through one of those weird shortened links that redirect you to the actual download page. I’ve used so many ad blockers and malware protection programs over the years to get so much into my library. And it’s not even easy to share either. Obviously it’s copyrighted, and although I have a personal Google Drive I keep a ton of backups in for half of the files on my computer, I don’t want that to get taken down if I share music through it, and it would. Even websites like Mega eventually (slowly) catches on and deletes your files and gives you a warning. A few of those and your account is gone.

I’m not trying to be rude, but I’m not rewarding awful behavior. I’ve done enough of that and have learned my lesson. I hope these kinds of people can learn, too. I truthfully think these kinds of people should spend a year or so doing it themselves: scouring the internet for carefully guarded files, having to go through the trial and error of this sort of hobby, having to go through the whole ‘malware or audio file’ game, possibly having people say they want to be friends with you just for them to leave once you send what you’ve collected. My point is that it’s not effortless. You do not google ‘Taylor Swift unreleased download’ and get everything I or other collectors have. And you do not get anything from said collectors by stalking their account to see if they’re active and telling them to ‘pick up the pace’ when they don’t send it in the time you allocated for them without their agreement. Just be respectful to those you want something from. Don’t use people. Be compassionate and considerate. Don’t be like… this.

[anonsally]

Shitty week at work

Boring chronicle below. I just needed to rant.

My week started off badly.

So, in early autumn of 2023, I'd applied for a promotion (which I was required to do), to be effective July 2024. In my job title, the promotion case is extremely similar to a professor applying for a promotion from Associate Professor to Full Professor. In particular, in addition to my CV, list of publications, and self-statement, external letters need to be solicited from objective scientists (at ranks equivalent to full professor) assessing my work. Five letters are required, at least half of which need to be from people on a list provided by the department/my supervisor; the rest can be from a list I provided but cannot include former collaborators or mentors.

I had initially provided 7 names; these were a mix of people I was slightly acquainted with and people I was not acquainted with at all. Unfortunately, only one of them agreed to write the letter (not surprising; several of the others were in leadership roles and probably didn't have time for this). Two declined and four didn't even bother to respond to the emails HR sent soliciting the letters.

So, in November 2023, HR asked me for more names. At this point, having pretty much exhausted the senior scientists I knew who were in a position to assess my work, I started searching the internet for full professors who work in my field. I provided 6 more names, 4 of whom were total strangers I'd never even heard of before I started searching, and one of whom I don't think I've met but he had collaborated with my supervisor. (My supervisor was also asked for more names.)

At some point several months later, I was informed that I had been told the wrong review period, so that my self-statement didn't include everything it should've. Argh. So there had already been a snafu with this process. But they promised that this would not affect my review.

The department made several hires last year, so my promotion case was a lower priority; the letter from the Dean's office in support of my promotion was finally provided about 4 months late. HR then sent the whole file to the central campus academic personnel office (APO), which is known to have a backlog, in August 2024. (The promotion, if it is ever approved, will be retroactive to July 2024.)

On Monday, I was told that APO had discovered that the case was submitted incorrectly: not enough of the external letters were from people on the department list (i.e., too many were from my list). They had received 7 letters (2 more than the required 5), but at least half must be from the department list. I don't know whether this means they got 4 from my list and 3 from the department list (in which case HR should've just dropped one of the ones from my list! If this is what happened, then I am being penalised for having too many recommendation letters, which is absurd.), or if it was even worse than that... But the upshot is, they have now asked my supervisor for more names. Which means that some important professors are going to be asked to write a letter of recommendation for someone they don't know. In December. I venture to predict that it will not be easy to find someone to do this.

Basically, if I ever get this promotion, it's going to be at least a year late. Like... they are soliciting letters over a month after when they would have solicited them for a promotion to be effective in July 2025, and I was supposed to get my promotion in July 2024. I am furious, too, because I did nothing wrong, this was a bureaucratic snafu (that should've been caught about a year ago), and yet there's a substantial amount of money I have earned that I have to wait several more months for.

So that's how my week started.

The week also ended badly. On Friday, the TA for the class I've been teaching asynchronously this semester said that he suspected academic misconduct. After reviewing the evidence, it looks like 3 of our students cheated... poorly... on an optional quiz (!)... and then two of them lied, unconvincingly, about it. So.

I hate everything.

[weaselbeaselpants]

Lorch opened her big stupid mouth again and decided to lean into "addicts are all awful and deserve to die" territory. How adorable.

My father functionally drank himself to death after he finally drove us away for good with his constant rage sessions, bouts of anger, stalking, suicide baiting and threatening us with guns, and all of this after a period of hightened emotional and verbal abuse we were subjected to after the death of my grandmother which lead him to self-medicate even harder than he already did throughout my whole life. I get really pissed at the idea that drugs, ANY drug or substance, can "save" you. It can't. You have to save you and self-medication can kill and does kill. It ruined my life because it ruined my dad's life and it ruined his immune system to where he died of bronchitis. I know from watching my dad's brother, my uncle, who did do HARD drugs and had the same issues as my dad, that hard drugs are easy to get into after you keep clearing hurtles to escape pain/feel higher, and then DANGEROUSLY hard to escape from. No Lily I didn't need Requiem for a Dream and Trainspotting to tell me that though I've heard from people that both those movies are disturbingly accurate about heroine, which is horrifying. No one should go through what happens in those stories and they sure as hell shouldn't be blamed/shamed/treated like 'filth' for being in that position at all.

The thing is, people are responsible for themselves. Not taking prescriptions right is bad. ALWAYS talk with a psychiatrist they are literally there to hear how you're doing on your drugs; never drink/smoke/toke and drive or handle machinery. It is absolutely not worth it get your friend or family to do it PLEASE even if they're annoying (at best) and chast you for that. If there's any way in which weed can directly kill you -Lily- it's through this. Wait till you're home; I'm not telling you this crap because I'm your mom, stranger on the internet reading this. I'm telling you this as a person with my own vices who lives around other people with their own vices; take care of yourself as best you can. You can do better, but you can never be perfect and that's okay. Don't abstain from stuff you can't quit but please be responsible. And godspeed to people dealing with addictions to hard drugs. I wish you the best - you can do it and as impossible as it may seem you will find the things you need in life to escape your pain without your addiction. I wish...so much that vibes and prayers and good thoughts could do more for you; especially the people dealing with drugs and homelessness right now which is SO MANY in my county alone. My government is screwing you over. You deserve to live and you ought to have your story told no matter what.

Anyway fuck you six ways to sunday Lily Orchard in the name of HUMANITY. You miserable, awful woman- wishing death and eugenic talk onto addicts for the crime of being an addict. You're the kind of person who doesn't just get uncomfortable+scoot away at a clearly tripping person on the bus, you actively say vile things abt them under your breath and scream at them if they even come near you. You have no empathy. I pray to god you never come across a homeless person. You must think the same backward garbage about them too.

Also speaking of vices and lecturing people on them, I find all this rich coming from the woman who wrote incest-laden cp left and right in her heyday, blames other people for it and very likely has accounts full of visual cp under your sockpuppets. I don't drink, smoke or take heavy drugs myself, Lily. But, just looking at what your good old friend Tara (who is not Sai. We both know this I don't even like Sai and I know it's not Sai) has hidden on the web I kind of want to now just to get those images outta my mind. "Quit at anytime/just NOT do the dangerous this" clearly doesn't apply to you. Predator.