#but i think the one agreed opinion is that nobody really knows wtf was happening there

[kreideprinz69]

I don't think they were going for anything angsty. The writers were probably just catering to the fan perception of Nagito, and being incredibly ableist by having him received "justified" scorn from his classmates. But of course it kind of backfired in that made the rest of Class 77-B come across as uncaring at best, and unsympathetic and meanspirited at worst. To the point that I'm actually wondering if the 2.5 OVA was written by someone else. Because that genuinely is the best part of the anime, in that it's one of the few things that adds extra layers and depth to Nagito. Still...the part of me that has a hunger for angsty fanfic can see some potential. Like I actually could imagine a scene where the others are trying to put him at ease with the idea that he deserves a second chance just like they do. Only for that to backfire and royally piss him off. "...Are you kidding me? None of you gave a damn about me before we were Ultimate Despair. Hell, you didn't even give a damn about me when you were all just as filthy and despair-ridden as I was. And now you're pretending that I'm part of the family? No. The only thing you people want from me is validation. If I decide that I'm too far gone to deserve a second chance, well that would mean the rest of you are irredeemable now wouldn't it? And you can't stand for that. All that you want from me is to hear me say that you're shining symbols of hope once more. After that? I could keel over the next day and none of you would bat an eyelash."

honestly, i wish i knew what was going through the heads of those working on that show. though i don’t really think they ever made his classmate’s treatment towards him look “justified” in any way, it always felt like they treated it as a grey area or an attempt to make people feel bad for nagito. which, i guess worked, because i’m here. but that was such lazy writing, and it did the whole class so dirty. It didn’t come off right at all (assuming there is a right way for it to come off) and just felt… so weird. that’s really the best way i can describe it. weird, out of place, did not make sense. the reason i don’t think they were trying to make his classmates look justified and nagito look bad, is because of how ineffective it was. the treatment started off before he even did anything wrong, and he was noticeably much more polite/normal(?) but that’s just how i interpreted it, i 100% get what you’re saying. whatever they were going for, it was not accomplished. with how redundant it was, it’s entirely possible they weren’t even going for anything specific. man.

the 2.5 OVA was much better. i did some brief digging and from what i could find, its the exact same people working it as the rest of the show. which again, really makes me wonder what exactly is going through their heads. i thought the OVA was a great expansion on nagito’s character and his worldview. not only that, but it was very refreshing to see him get along with the rest of the class. they could still recognize his abnormal behavior, but they treated it like they treated the other oddballs in the class. it felt much more in character to me.

i definitely get that angst craving too. i imagine that after they woke up, there would have been a discussion about his treatment in the class. they’re all working together to build a future, where everyone has a second chance. i’m sure nagito would need a lot of encouragement to take that second chance, and he’d probably be quite upset at the class having a sudden change of heart and attitude. i think he’d have a lot of confusing emotions to sort through though. first, he’s starting to see the class as actual people, since they’re no longer symbols of hope (and the whole hope thing comes with its own giant baggage.) second, there’s the difference in treatment he’s getting from them, which is probably confusing. especially because of what happened in the game as well. but i think on some level, he must care for them. i cant quite say whether it’s personal, or lingering feelings of admiration for his idols. i say that because im thinking back to the hug he gave fuyuhiko and kazuichi after waking up lol. so maybe he did learn to just strive for the future.

but i think i’m starting to get a little off topic, so, yeah! theres definitely a lot of angst potential there and it would for sure make for some interesting fics!! theres a lot that can be done with that whole idea.

i really hope this was coherent and made sense, i am fighting insomnia demons at the moment and i’m not even going to acknowledge the time right now!

[silver-wield]

I agree a lot. I always felt like the fans, characters, and the ACC movie gaslights me to question what my actual impression of her was in the game I played. If you go asking about it, the best they can say about aerith is that she's sunshine and something something but nothing about any of her core role nor her bg. It sums up to, she flirts a lot, all about zack, and she got killed. That's it. I don't hear her fans talk about her bg in TOTP. No wonder this debate exists when all she's ever referenced in before TOTP is about her love life. Yeah, even that maiden fanfic. Of course they want a piece of 'that' because her role ain't really doing her any good , character concept wise. Seriously.. if it weren't for TOTP , I'd think woah, why cry and mourn for her for some years when you barely even knew about her. Even her fans don't know her except for shallow stuff mostly inserted Headcanon about her life and personality (no offense this always happen to someone who dies). Meanwhile.. no matter what your opinion of the others who died, what happened to them? Nobody crying for them? Is it because they're no cetra or hero called zack? It's weird, I hate they made tifa cry so much for her in CoT, like wtf did she do for you really to be THIS sad? Like I swear this is OG aerith we're talking about. The one who's affection point goes down if you choose to be a good person to someone else who ain't her. And now she seems to be even worse lmao. Lmao stop gaslighting me devs.

Britt is right, tifa needs to build boundaries. I just hope she's not referring to cloud acting less than who tifa deserves tho. Really..this girl, I'll marry her instead.

When you really look at what's been shown instead of what people HC, she's not a nice person. She's rude, selfish, arrogant, doesn't listen to anyone, privileged, throws herself at Cloud and ignores his rejection, is two faced, jealous, petty and immature.

And yet in AC she's somehow become mother Theresa, but she actually did fuck all for any of the geostigma victims and simply took credit for Cloud weakening Jenova and the remnants enough for the planet itself to take action. People claim that water spout is "great gospel" but it's literally in the script that the planet is responsible, not Aerith. All she does is say "let's go" after the planet healed him.

It's the same at the end of OG. The planet is responsible for saving itself, but because her face is the last thing shown people assumed she was sooooo uber powerful that she made the planet do her bidding.

That's like a flea believing it directs the dog.

[pearlcages]

That ask about Callie in S9 and your response- especially that part "i think that’s a big reason why she would be able to move forward with arizona in new york— she got time to rest." I- that made me see Callie in a completely different light and it's not good! Wtf?? like, I never saw S9 Callie in that light. Staying just out of obligation. And I always thought that Callie left because of the cheating- But you and your anon make it sound like their marriage would have fallen

(cont 1) apart either way! Because Callie "did not sign up for a disabled traumatized wife". That's--- that's awful!I don't think I'm making any sense but--- She stayed out of obligation and that sounds like the only reason she didn't just leave Arizona was because it would look bad to leave your disabled wife!? So if that's how you see Callie--- why would anyone want her back with Arizona? If she felt stuck and wanted out because her wife was dealing with

(cont 2) disability and severe trauma? if she was so tired of her own wife that she needed a few years of rest away from her? She wanted to leave Arizona after the plane crash because she was just too exhausting--- but now that Arizona's done all the hard work and is back to being herself ,now she wants to be with her again? What? I mean--- I get leaving because of cheating because that was inexcusable. but that she felt stuck and wanted out even before that is just--- I'm sorry but

(cont 3) that's horrible. just--- there's a clear difference between feeling like "this is hard and I wish it wasn't happening but I don't want to go anywhere" "and "this is hard, I want out but I feel I can't". and your ask and response sound like the second option. like---- from arizona's pov--- how does she ever trust Callie again with any negative feelings or problems if Callie wanted out and felt stuck and stayed out of obligation? I think I'm having an existential crisis here over that post help!!!

hey hey this is super complicated but i definitely don't want my my thoughts/opinions or anyone else's to fundamentally change how you personally feel about callie!

i wrote about my thoughts on obligation and commitment in this ask and i think that explains a lot wrt how i think about callie's decision to stay pre-cheating. and i think we have to be really, really conscientious about how we talk about disability here because the show handles it so poorly that the messages they sent through callie's behavior are not ones that i agree with morally. the grey's writers validate some extremely harmful narratives with arizona's amputation arc & i rly do not fuck with it on a lot of levels

but i do think that she's obviously lacking the skills to deal with her wife's trauma, you know? and, from how i experienced it, that does make her feel stuck, and she expresses that so many times. "i have nowhere to go, this is my life now too," "i haven't had sex in six months because of that leg," telling bailey to run while she still can, talking about marriage as though it's a burden, etc. her entire life was turned upside down too, she just didn't have the skillset to deal with it, and part of her was feeling trapped. her actions communicated this to arizona

but, like, that's not evil imo? the plane crash was this insane, monstrous event that nobody could possibly be prepared to deal with. she was drowning too, and she had this huge responsibility to arizona without any support from anyone. which isn't excusing any of it, because yeah it's pretty fucking terrible to feel stuck when your wife is going through something so deeply traumatic. callie knows that it's terrible. she knows that it's unfair and selfish

i think that's why it's so important that she didn't leave in that time. you can't control how you feel and sometimes those feelings are ugly, but she still did stay. not because of how it would look if she left, but because she made a commitment. she opted in for forever. like i said in the linked ask above, that's not unromantic to me. i come from a culture where we are defined by our responsibilities-- we don't simply bend to our obligations, we are our obligations. callie stayed. that's what defines her as a person, not the feeling

and yeah i do think she needed a break! but when i said that, i meant by the time the divorce comes around in s11, not s9. between s9 and the divorce the hits just keep coming (the plane crash, mark's death, the miscarriage, callie's lawsuit, leah, callie's infertility, etc.) and callie's in survival mode the entire time. even when things get better, she's still operating under the assumption that if she doesn't keep fixing them, everything is going to fall apart. she can't even see straight by the time the divorce happens, and she certainly can't see arizona

i don't think it's that arizona has done all of the hard work so now callie wants her back. arizona did a lot of that hard work while they were still together, and callie was part of that. i think it's more like callie stopped being able to see arizona through anything but that lens of trauma, and she needed to take a step back to get clarity. because everything was bad and she couldn't breathe and that desperation makes people do impulsive, destructive things like leaving their wives

i actually write a lot about this later in keeping the bullet so callie and arizona really have a chance to dig up why callie left the second time, and i think really relevantly arizona explicitly doesn't forgive her at the end of that conversation. it's just... complicated, messy. callie wasn't a perfect partner after the plane crash, but she was trying and she stayed. those things are still true even if she thought some fucked up things along the way

at least that's how i see it. but also i don't want to give you a crisis! one of the beautiful things about fandom is that you don't have to agree with how i or anyone else sees the characters, and if this is something that would ruin callie for you then please, please ignore it. you're allowed! who the fuck am i to dictate your interpretation of her

[gilly-bj]

Why the “Eremika kiss” doesn’t affect Rivamika at all

In the new chapter, we saw for the first time something that we didn’t expect to happen in the manga: a kiss, between Mikasa and (dead)Eren, probably not like we all imagined. This kiss hit everyone hard, also the Eremika shippers, who weren’t very happy with the fact that Eren was already dead when Mikasa kissed him. Eremikas unfortunately weren’t the only ones sad, also lots of Rivamikas had this feeling and, I was one of them.

When the chapter came out and I saw Mikasa kissing Eren, I literally crashed (windows.exe stopped working); my whole body stopped working and the only sensible thought I could elaborate was: “Wait, WTF!”. After I scraped together that quantity of calm that could make me, at least, sit down, I started to write posts that I’ve already eliminated, so don’t look for them because I made them disappear, because my opinions changed radically.

Quick note for you guys from your G: in these cases, don’t write immediately what you’re thinking in that exact moment. I was incredibly frustrated, so the posts I wrote were full of complaints. I didn’t analyzed the kiss from other prospectives, because for me it was only the “eremika kiss”. Remember to wait at least the traduction of the chapter, official or not; you’ll have enough time to reflect on it and elaborate opinions lucidly.

Anyway, in this post I’ll talk about three things:

Eremika’s conversation and Mikasa’s dream

The kiss and why it doesn’t affect Rivamika

Final considerations about RM

The subheadings are written in their own special colour, so if you’re not interested in one of them, it will be easier to find the other.

Let’s start!

• Eremika’s conversation and Mikasa’s dream.

Mikasa has an headache and she wake up in her ideal world, where she lives with Eren in a isolated cabin in the woods. This chapter is from Mikasa’s pov, and note that her perfect image of home is again showed, probably for the last time. I think that Mikasa’s feelings for Eren were kinda obvious, apart from the fact that I never liked or supported them, they are here and we can’t do anything against them.

But I’ve never imagined to see that kind of selfish dream from Mikasa; she is the girl who always cares for everyone, the one who is ready to sacrifice herself for the well-being of her friends, the one who loves them and support them independently from the situation. To be honest, it hurts to see that in her dream, Armin isn’t with them; if there wasn’t Levi, my shipper heart would have hurt but I’d understand, they aren’t so close yet, but Armin, they’ve grown together.

But I’m not mad at Mikasa, each of us has a selfish dream deep inside, where we’d rather sacrifice others to save our special person; it doesn’t mean that we don’t love them, it’s just, if we’d have to choose, we’d prefer to keep safe only him or her. Let me explain better my point with an example: imagine a man who lives in a country at war; he has the possibility to save just two people and he has to choose between his wife and daughter or his parents. He would probably save his wife and daughter, but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love his parents. Choosing between the people we love is the most painful thing in the world, but sometimes we just have to do it, and in Mikasa’s case, she’d choose Eren.

Anyway, before talking about the conversation, I want to analyze a little detail: during her all dream, Mikasa and Eren are in their teen form, why? Well, my interpretation is that Mikasa is still in love with the old Eren and she can’t understand the new one, indeed, one she said: “I’ll bring the old Eren back”. Even if she doesn’t completely understand him, she still loves him, and that’s why I adore Mikasa.

Anyway, let’s analyze better their conversation:

Eren wakes Mika up and he states their situation in that moment, how they ran away leaving the others to their cruel destiny. Now, do we all agree how that doesn’t fit Eren’s character, at all. His most famous line is “Fight if you want to win”, which it shows how brave he is; if he’d run away with Mikasa, he would act like a coward, and he can’t accept cowardice.

And here, Mikasa’s biggest regret: the answer she gave to Eren; remeber when she said: “If only I gave him another answer”, and in her dream she probably did: thanks to Eren’s words, we can assume that Mikasa told him to run away with her, to leave everything, probably what she wanted to answer in the reality. I interpreted that scene from chapter 123 like a Mikasa who couldn’t answer because taken by surprise, and then came up with a thing she didn’t mean who is still harassing her.

Let’s say that the Eren in the previous panels was Mikasa’s idealized version, but then something changes. Look at Eren’s face:

The marks. And why did they appear casually? Because, this is the true Eren, the one they are going to kill, the one who wanted to give his probably last message to Mikasa, and in fact the most important part of the conversation: “Please...Mikasa, forget about me”. At this point, I really don’t understand what the Eremika shippers found romantic in this chapter, the fact that the last thing Eren said to Mikasa is “forget about me” made things clear enough. We can notice that Eren entered her dream by the falcon here, funny that Mikasa is actually flying on Falco right now.

I really started to appreciate Mikasa and Eren’s relationship thanks to this chapter; even if I wasn’t, and I am not, a big fan of the Eremika ship, thinking about their relationship made me a bit sad. Anyway, I love the fact that Eren wanted to tell this to Mikasa, I think he deeply want her to live a life without him, because he’s already understood that they have different life goals, different way of thinking, different natures.

Before skipping to the next point, I noticed that many Rivamika shippers’ve already talked about the similarity between Eren and Levi in some of the panels, I’m not going to dwell because I‘ll write a different post about it, but I wanted to say that it can’t be just a coincidence, Levi and Eren’s haircuts are very different and there’s no way to confuse them. I don’t know why Isayama did this; maybe it’s a foreshadowing, or maybe he just wanted to trol us (it’s always him), I’ll just wait patiently April to see if my assumptions are right 😌

• The kiss and why it doesn’t affect Rivamika at all

Ah this kiss, this damn kiss. Uff, let me sit down and let’s talk about it.

So, Mikasa decides to kill Eren and she enters his mouth thanks to Levi’s help. The first thing she sees is Eren’s head, and I think we should already stop and analyze better this moment.

Look at his expression: he seems kinda... happy and, maybe also proud. Why? Because Mikasa finally decided to do the right thing, she chose Humanity, she sacrificed him, the person she loves the most, for the others. That’s her development. Even if she’ll never forget him, she chose to be selfless over selfish, and I’m glad she decided to remember Eren; it’s awful to forget to ones we loved in the past, we shouldn’t forget them, after all, they made us feel beautiful things, thanks to them we gained fantastic memories, why should we completely remove them from our life? Feelings can change, they will change, and Mikasa will change her romantic feelings towards Eren, it’s simply natural, but asking her to forget him is cruel; Levi won’t forget his dead friends, Armin won’t forget his grandfather, Eren won’t forget his mum, and it’s beautiful this way.

Now, let’s get into the spicy of this post: the kiss. Let me the transform in a love specialist (I’m nobody XD). I really don’t see anything romantic in it. Really, is probably the most tragic and sad among Eremika’s interactions because it shows how Mikasa’s feelings have never been reciprocated; she already tried to kiss him, in season 2, and he “rejected” her (that wasn’t a explicit reject but, if I’m not wrong, he didn’t try the Coordinate before so he didn’t know if it worked, he preferred to risk his life instead of kissing her. Actually, that’s also Eren’s personality), and now, yeah she managed to kiss him, but he was dead, he couldn’t kiss her back, couldn’t say anything, couldn’t reject her. I think that at this point, Mikasa already knew Eren wasn’t in love with her, she isn’t stupid, and she saw that kiss as a way to set herself free completely, to close a chapter of her life.

Another thing: I really don’t understand how can EM shippers say that Eremika is canon just because they kissed, sorry, Mikasa kissed him?? A simple kiss doesn’t make a couple canon, you have to analyze the feelings behind it. Why many of them can’t simply analyze a bit the story? Just, a bit...

• Final considerations and Rivamika

When I saw many Rivamika shippers being so happy about this chapter I really couldn’t understand, like “why are they happy if Mikasa literally kissed Eren?”. Well, at first I was very confused, the posts I read made me feel relieved, but... I wasn’t 100% convinced yet, because I was listening only to what the others said, I didn’t have my own opinion. I could see only the kiss (as a negative thing), and not all the foreshadowings we got in this chapter.

I have a certain theory but I will write a separated post about it, here, let’s discuss why that kiss isn’t a problem for us RM shippers. So, my biggest fear was that Mikasa’d live her all life mourning Eren and wouldn’t open herself to someone new, not necessarily Levi lying. Anyway, like I said before, please don’t stress yourself with rushed considerations, it’s just useless. I think that the kiss acted like as a springboard for Rivamika; like I said before, I interpreted it as a way to set herself free completely, to not have regrets because obviously, it was a thing that Mika wanted to do. Levi’s extreme care for her in this chapter, his determination when he saw that she ready to do this such painful thing made me... fly. They fought together until the end showing for the last time their chemistry and fantastic dynamic. Their interactions in this chapter were really special and I hope that there’ll be more in the future, maybe not only as a team;)

In conclusion, I loved this chapter so much, I can consider it as my favorite because, it gave me chills, for real.

I’ll start to work on my theory so yeah, this post isn’t ended yet lol. Stay tuned because there, I’ll talk only about RM so it will be... maybe more interesting from a shipper’s view. Tell me what you think about this in the comments 💜!

[writingtoforgetreality]

Damage Is Done - Little Movie Star Chapter Three (Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist], [Little Movie Star-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter 

Summary: Jensen & Danneel were ready to break the news. Surprisingly, so were you. You should have known better than that. Good feelings disappeared more sooner than later. How stupid of you to think that things were going in the right direction.

Words: 1,761

Warnings: fluff, cyber bullying, panic attack, fake social media posts (picture credits go to their rightful owners)

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

~2016~

Things were going slow. And you could tell that the tension built itself whenever you distanced yourself more again. But you were trying, you really were. Jensen & Danneel could tell. They saw you struggling when you took part in their family activities. Your body language gave you away a lot of times. Neither of them commented on it, though. Communication was improving. More often, you spoke up when something happened you did not like & Jensen & Danneel did the same for you. Sometimes, it hurt a bit, when they told you that the way you acted was not appropriate. Sometimes, you stormed off to your room to cool down, only for you to come out a bit later to apologize for your behavior. Danneel was incredibly proud of the change you had been through so far. She could tell that Jensen & you shared a stronger bond but that was one thing Bill had warned them about. Whatever family you were put in, you usually connected faster with the fathers. In her head, she was already planning a girls day with you. Shopping & all that. Maybe that would help your bonding process.

You were eating breakfast when Jensen started a conversation that left you…unsure.

“So, we were thinking about breaking the news to the world. What do you say?” he eyed you carefully, waiting for some sort of reaction. You stopped eating for a second & looked down at your plate.

“For publicity?” the words were quiet but they could hear you crystal clear.

“Do you really think we need publicity?” Danneel joked & you were lucky that she eased the tension. Even a chuckle escaped you & finally, you looked up at them.

“What are you guys thinking? How do you wanna do this?” you asked, now starting to like the idea of them wanting you to be an official part of their family. It was fast but you thought if the world knew you were a part of the Ackles, then you might have an easier time accepting it yourself. They explained that they planned a simple Instagram post. Nothing more, nothing less. A picture with the six of you. The thought scared you but you agreed anyway which earned you two big smiles.

“Hey, Jensen?” walking over to where he was sitting, he turned his attention to you. “Could you help me with something, please?” you felt stupid to ask for help, especially because of something like that but you knew he had more experience than you.

“Sure thing. What is it?” he looked intrigued & then confused when you handed him your phone after sitting down next to him.

“Um… I don’t have any social media accounts but I’d like to get them started? I thought you might know what’s fitting & what isn’t.” Jensen seemed more than happy to help you out. It did not happen every day that you came & asked him something. So when you did, he appreciated it.

The two of you played around for a while. Jensen explained the basics. Even though you had to admit that he was not the pro you believed him to be. It was alright & in the end, you had a twitter & an Instagram account (@iam(Y/N)ackles). At first, you were against the handle. After all, your last name was not Ackles. But Jensen insisted that it was right for you to have these account names. He helped you setting everything up & you started following people you liked, starting with Jensen & Danneel, obviously. Followed by the rest of the Supernatural cast.

At the end of the day, after you took the picture Jensen & Danneel wanted to post, you were very nervous. The picture turned out to be incredibly cute. You were holding Zep in your arms, Arrow had been held by Danneel & JJ was sitting on Jensen’s lap. Immediately, you set this picture as your phone wallpaper, smiling wildly when you did so. All of a sudden, your phone was flooded with notifications. Both, on twitter & Instagram. Annoyed by the dinging sound, you turned them off completely. Jensen & Danneel tagged you in their posts & you were gaining hundred, thousands of followers in a very short time.

“(Y/N)? We posted the pic, just so you know.” but by the way you were looking at your phone, Jensen could tell you already knew this. He told you that it was probably better if you turned off the notifications but you brushed him off, saying you already did.

“Have you looked at it yet?” curiosity was written over his features. Shaking your head as an answer, he nudged you & told you to go on. Taking a deep breath, you opened Instagram & immediately were met with the picture on your timeline. The picture put a smile on your face again. You guys really looked cute. Like a cute little family. Then you went to read the caption.

Scrolling down, you saw Danneel’s post with the same caption & tears threatened to spill. You had not cried in front of other people in so long but right now, you could not hold back anymore. Gratitude was rushing over you & before you knew what was happening, Jensen wrapped his arms around you & pulled you into a hug. This time, you did not reject him, needing the comfort of another person. It felt good to be hugged, you had almost forgotten how much you actually loved it

“Thank you.” you mumbled into his chest. Jensen simply stroked his hands up & down your back. He could tell that this was a huge step. You were hugging, after all, & he was more than thankful to share this special moment with you. When you heard Danneel entering the room, you rushed over to her & gave her a hug, too. You could feel that your body was not reacting the same way when you were wrapping your arms around Jensen but it felt good nevertheless.

The rest of the day, conversation flowed easier. Dinner was filled with laughter & you guys chatted a lot. This act, of them posting you on their social media, showed you that they were not going away anytime soon. They were in for the long haul. Still, there was this awful voice in your head but tonight, it sounded a bit further in the distance, a bit more quiet than usual. That night, you decided to do a movie marathon. You had done them before but this one felt…different. It felt easier. You found yourself enjoying their company more & for a second, you had hope. Hope in the future. Hope in your new…family. Would you ever feel comfortable calling them your family? Maybe, if you kept going forward at this pace, then maybe you would.

Laying in bed, you wanted to check out the posts one more time. By now, you had thousands of followers even though you had zero posts on your account. Maybe you should repost the picture? Yeah, you could do that. Your thoughts were interrupted when you made the big mistake of going through the comment section under Jensen’s picture. Yes, there were a lot of positive responses, especially from his castmates, but when you kept scrolling, you found one hate comment after the other. They were awful to read through.

“really? she’s ugly as hell lmao”

“why would they choose her?”

“probably thinking she’s better than everyone lol”

“she should go back where she came from”

“wtf??? leave our ackles alone, bitch”

Tears were streaming down your face, this time because you were genuinely hurt by their words. One mistake followed the other & you were scrolling through your message requests. One was worse than the other. There were literal death threats people were sending you & you did not understand a thing. Nobody knew you & yet they were already building an opinion about you. Angry at yourself for reading through them & angry that you agreed on making a post for Instagram, you turned your phone off & threw it at the end of the bed. All good feelings had disappeared. Maybe they were right. You knew you were not pretty. You had asked yourself a billion times why they chose you out of everyone. You were sure they would send you back once they read through the comments. No matter how hard you tried to calm down, you could not catch your breath & started hyperventilating. Shit, you were about to have a panic attack. You had suffered from them ever since you were little but the last one had been ages ago. Usually, you would run to Bill & he would talk you through it. But he was hours away & he would most likely be asleep by now. Contemplating if you should go to Jensen & Danneel, you decided against it after the comments were repeating themselves in your head. So you just let the panic overcome you. It was better to let it out than to push it down further, you knew that. But having to go through such a period alone was everything but easy. Telling yourself you were fine & safe over & over again exhausted the shit out of you. It felt like hours but when you were finally at a point where your breaths evened out & your heartrate slowed down, you fell asleep almost immediately. Tomorrow, you had to talk to them, you knew it. Maybe they would be aware of the comments by then & would start the conversation. How were you supposed to start such a conversation anyway? Hi, your fans hate me & send me death threats. Come on, that sounded stupid. But the thing was that it did not feel stupid to you. Their words hurt you & Jensen & Danneel told you to come to them & be open with them if something bothered you. There was enough time for that in the morning, though. For now, sleep seemed like the best option & the best distraction. You just hoped that your dreams would be kinder to you than your family’s “fans”.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter 

Published (04/03/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @vicmc624​, @imaginationisgrowth, @stoneyggirl​, @alyispunk​, @thevelvetseries​, @multifandomlover121, @samsgirl93​, @supernatural3002​, @diabetes-03, @prettyybubblesintheair, @originalsoulcollector​, @vir-tual, @bellero​, @sergantbuckybarnes (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)

[gracemyheart]

KaguMyu Act I ~ RANT REACTION

Okay, so I watched act 1 of the new Sailor Moon Musical "Kaguya Hime no Koibito" and spoiler: it felt like wasted time. Even NewMyu is more exciting to watch and I say that as an official NewMyu-hater-disliker...

You can watch the musical full for free on vk.

I included screenshots to make my little notes a bit more exciting. Disclaimer again: I am and will forever be honest with my opinions. If I think something sucks, I'll say that it sucks. (Spoiler: This was even too boring to suck lmao). Tbh. I have no idea how the manga handeled this story so I will make references from the S-movie.

- The musical starts with the song "You are my universe" and I have to say, it reminds me strongly of Tsukiiro no Chainon. That is not particularly a good thing because those random J-Pop songs these days have a bad thing in common: There is not really a melody in them? Like it feels too mechanical and not like music anymore. I couldn't really follow the melody because it was actually not existing. A good thing is that every Senshi has some solo lines in the song but that doesn't make it better. I am for example not sure if I could sing it with that lack of melody and rhythm.

- Next thing is the costumes. Was there really not enough money to make them look not THAT cheap? Also, Chibimoon's costume looks so baggy? And her wig looks, I quote @vampiru-chan "like a burst sofa cushion" xD.

- What annoys me too is that we got those no-name background-dancer demons again. SO boring like wtf finally get something interesting like in Banitimes again!

- However, the choreography wasn't as bad as it usually is in NewMyu and with that I mean they were not swinging their arms like crazy while running and walking from on end to the other end of the stage. So I grant a bonus point for the choreography.

- Yuuka-Saturn NAILED her solo-line. Good girl.

- I am still annoyed, that we got that all-female cast again! It might be rare, but I am still a straight girl in this fandom and I need real men again xD And I think all the lovely gay fanboys in the fandom agree xP.

- After the dance-fight-song-scene we see how Kakeru finds Snow Princess Kaguya's ice crystal as he does in the movie and then we get to know that it is winter and the Senshi will celebrate Mako's, Mina's and Setsuna's birthdays all together. And I have to say, she doesn't do ANYTHING, she is only a side character and simply...well there - BUT I LOVE Shinjyu-Haruka so much, omg. Finally a good Uranus! Her face reminds me of Asako but she is stronger and her male-like acting does not feel that forced. Too bad she was in a musical that was not about the Senshi at all :(

- Again I have to say, WHO, WHO thought it was a good idea to cast a Sailor Moon with that kind of face? Like, literally wtf. Tbh I would sue the surgeon who is responsible for this.

- Okay, now we found out why the costumes are so cheap: The whole budget was spent on the civilian outfits. They are so sweet and so pretty, omg. I want to have them all!

- But because all the money was spent on the outfits, there was no budget left for Artemis >:( He is only mentioned.

- Then lemme ask why our Usagi-chan is so bitchy here? She pushed Minako to the side in a very-not-Usagi-like style??

- Okay, birthday goes on and we get a birthday song and then some kind of idol-song by Mina and Mako. And the songs are not memorable at all :(

- What I liked was this little scene between Rei and Usagi. Looks like a reference to the anime where both quarrel a lot and it feld refreshing.

- And I have to say, that the lovely voice of Kisara-Mako/Jupiter reminds me SO MUCH of my friend's voice @missemperor you gotta cover her, nobody would notice the difference lol.

- Okay, now Himeko sings a song of how Kakeru developed as a professor or something and it makes no sense because Himeko is just so unimportant. Oh, yes and I never liked her in the movie because she was such a fkn bitch to Luna? I mean, I don't like Luna either but stop bullying the cat, bitch.

- as I mentioned in my last post about KaguMyu - we do not have a real setting again :/ But they tried to compensate that with heavy projections even from thought bubbles. I'd liked it better if there had actually been a setting but okay, we live in the century of technology and not of proper requisites.

- I also wonder why Michiru always has such a cute voice in Nelke productions? Ever watched the anime? She has a normal adult voice which sounds very elegant but not cute. But besides being a side character, Ayana plays a decent Neptune/Michiru.

- The rest of the musical is basically Luna and Kakeru doing stuff? But it feels like nothing happens T_T. Btw. the actress of Kakeru reminds me STRONGLY of a Zuka actress too. Apropos Takarazuka: Riku Sorahana is a cool Mamoru. Maybe a bit too cool for Mamoru but I like her.

- Another thing I noticed: The birthday scene, in the beginning, was just to show that this musical actually has the Senshi in it. Because after that scene... they are gone. There is that one scene with Usagi and Luna à la how does a kiss taste and then Chibiusa sings (very badly, omg. Why not casting a child that can sing?) a very annoying song, of how Luna is in love.

Overall:

- It was so boring. Literally, nothing happened. It felt like wasted time and yes, I know that the story is mainly about Luna but....geez no. I had a bit of hope that this musical might be better than the last ones but I have to say out of the new musicals - NogiMyu stays the best.

- Those songs were really not good and not memorable at all. They feel like the typical mass-production these days. Maybe BaniMyu was so good because back then it was a rare thing for anime/manga to turn into stage plays? I mean, today almost every anime/manga which is a bit popular gets a musical. Plus BaniMyu had Akiko Kosaka for the songs (and Queen Ado for the choreo <3).

- Funny thing: Usually in the new musicals it is that the first act is rather good or at least ok while the second one is boring af - but in this case, I doubt that this can get even more boring - maybe act 2 will be good then? Ewwww, we'll see but I do not have big hopes, tbh.

- If I had to rate it with points while 10 points would be super good and 0 points super bad, I'd give it so far 2 points. (LR, PE and UNV would even get 3 to 4 points, wtf it's really so bad xD. Okay, no they'd get at least 3 but still xD).

Today I'll watch the second act but I doubt it will get any better... :(

BANDAI! GET SERA MYU BACK AND DO GOOD STUFF AGAIN!

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Chapter 9

Series Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: Getting your bearings at BigHit

Previous chapter here ---------------------------

It’s fine it’s fine, Yoongi kept repeating to himself this morning after you had left to go to the security office. I’m not even home that often, it’s not her fault. He slipped on a t-shirt and jeans and went downstairs. He put his dishes away and looked in the foyer. Two suitcases and a backpack were sitting there. He couldn’t believe this was all you had. That’s it. He sighed and picked up the bags, wheeling them over to the guest bedroom. He looked around the room and frowned. He would need to order a few more blankets. He took out his phone and ordered some quickly. He walked into the guest bathroom. No towels. He placed an order for those as well. Even if you ended up living somewhere else, it was good to have extra towels and blankets, he reasoned with himself. 

He checked his calendar and yours. You should still be in the security office with Namjoon. He had already texted Hobi earlier.

Y:WTF dude, I thought you were my friend

JHOOOOOOPE: I brought a nice looking girl to your house, how is that not nice **angel**

Y: You can’t just drop someone off into someone else’s house without asking!

JHOOOOOOPE: It’s not my fault no one told you. I was told to deliver your new assistant to your apartment because you needed her to be available to whims at all times. I do what I’m told like every other person who works here. **shrug** it could be worse. I could use an assistant. Send her my way if it doesn’t work **Grin**

Y: >=(

Yoongi walked off the Elevator and saw Namjoon’s smug face there "What the hell is wrong with you?" Yoongi growled, walking up to him. He was surprised he didn’t see you anywhere.

"Not now Yoongi, I have a meeting in 15 minutes." Namjoon sighed. That fucking prick.

"You just dropped a girl into my house without telling me and think I'm not going to have something to say about it?" 

"You knew she was starting today. You agreed that the two of you were going through with all of this. What did you think that meant? Huh?" Namjoon said, almost bored.

"Why don't I get a say in any of this?" Yoongi raised his voice, exasperated. 

"You did. You picked her." Namjoon said calmly as he pushed the up button on the elevator. 

"This is such bullshit!" he yelled. You walked around the corner, surprising him. 

The elevator for Namjoon arrived and he got on it, not bothering to look back. 

You walked closer to Yoongi. "Hey. I'm sorry this was a surprise for you. It was to me too. I thought I would be in a dorm with a bunch of other girls." You gave him a sympathetic look. 

He took off his hat and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry it's not you. It's just...ughhh…" He put the hat back on.

"Really. It's fine. It seems like Namjoon isn't interested in our opinions though, huh? I'm a good roommate. I'm quiet and I clean up after myself. And I can cook." 

Yoongi wasn’t angry at you, so his feelings had morphed into pouting at this point. "It's fine I put your bags in the guest bedroom." He pushed a button on the elevator. He sighed 

"Thanks Yoongi." you said, standing next to him. 

“And I can cook too. So don’t think that’s part of your job or anything.”

“Now what kind of wife would I be if I didn’t cook for you,” You teased as the doors opened up. You were surprised to see him blushing. He hit the button for the 12th floor, feeling like a total idiot.

You looked so cute and professional. He tried to not think about the fact you had seen him in his underwear that morning. He looked down, mumbling something, hoping you wouldn’t notice how embarrassed he was. He was eager to just get to his studio. He understood abstractly that the two of you would be spending time together but now that it was actually happening, he felt awkward and shy. And vaguely annoyed by everyone else. He got off the elevator with you following. “What are you doing exactly?” He turned and asked.

“I’m your assistant. I’m supposed to help you. Do I have a desk or anything? There wasn’t really an orientation. There isn’t anything on the calendar for the rest of the day.”

“Oh. Ok. Umm take the rest of the day off…? Go unpack?” He shrugged.

You scowled. “That doesn’t seem particularly helpful especially since you want me to move out.”

Yoongi sighed and continued to move down the hallway, “You don’t need to do that. There,” he pointed. “That’s Jiwoo. She’s the office manager for this floor. Ask her if she knows anything. I need to get to my studio.”

You had so many more questions but you didn’t want to bother Yoongi.“Ok. See you later.” You turned and walked over to the woman he had indicated to.

Yoongi continued on to his studio. He had no idea if you had a desk or not. He hadn’t really put thought into it. He cursed himself for not thinking to ask Namjoon about any of this. He detested appearing as though he didn’t know something, which unfortunately meant he hadn’t asked questions when he should have. Oh well. He hoped Jiwoo could straighten it out. Otherwise he would later today. He typed in his pass code and walked into his studio. Fortunately he felt inspired this morning and went straight for his notebook.  

“Hello. Excuse me?” You said as you walked up to the desk of the woman who had been identified to you as the office manager. She appeared to be older than you; her hair cut into a bob, she also had super cute glasses. She looked up. 

“Yes, can I help you with something?” 

“I’m Mr. Min’s new assistant, [Y/N]. Today is my first day and nobody really seems sure what to do with me.”

She laughed. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. They all do a great job with the big picture around here. But the details? That’s my specialty.” She stood up. “Follow me. Your desk is over here, near the lounge area. It’s a little noisy, but it’s across from the coffee maker. Which is important because Min Yoongi loves coffee.”

“Yes, thank you. That is like one of the only things I do know.” You smiled, grateful for any help.

“You don’t have a company laptop yet. I would expect it by Monday. You can do most things via the App though. If something does come up, let me know and we can work something out. Now, if you walk around the corner here,” she led the way. “We have some empty studios. If you ever need to rent space for any reason, they are available under the App. Mr. Min has his own studio so you shouldn’t need to book any spots unless you are helping with a collaborator. Speaking of, here is his studio. Good luck with that.” She pointed down to the doormat which had a cat flipping you both off. You laughed. You looked at the plate by the door. “Min Suga. Genius Lab.”

“Humble. Nice.” You pointed at the placard.

“He is really good though.” She said thoughtfully. She began to move down the rest of the hallway, pointing out the restrooms and arriving back at her desk.  “Also, don’t wait up on him. He’s in there most of the time. Follow your calendar. If you try to follow his, you’ll never sleep or you’ll end up with a sleeping disorder. Seriously. He sleeps in there sometimes.” She sat back down at her desk.

Your eyes bugged out a little bit at this. Damn that was some dedication. You hoped he at least had a futon in there then. Jeeze. “Alright. Thanks so much. I appreciate it.”

You almost wished you would have kept your desk plant now, looking at the empty space. You had a few office items in the bags in Yoongi’s house but nothing really worth going back for. A message popped up on your phone. **ORDER READY MIN YOONGI #2983627** You clicked on it. Apparently there was an order at the store ready for Yoongi. Because there was a store in the company building. Huh. Ok. I guess this is part of my job now. You looked up where the store was and headed down to the 2nd floor. It appeared to be a multipurpose grocery and home-goods store with also a few clothing items.  Looking around you found the *Pick up online order* section and walked over. You queued up and recognized the perfectly coiffed blonde hair of Namjoon’s assistant. 

You gave him a light tap on the shoulder. “Hey!”

Jimin turned around, surprised to see the girl from the interview last week standing behind him. “Hey you.” He smiled, “so you got the job?”

You nodded. “Yep. Sorry again about last week. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He laughed, his eyes turning into adorable crescent-moons  “I’m sorry I literally yelled “shit” at you. So I think we’re even.” He stuck out a hand, “Park Jimin. Nice to officially meet you.” You shook it. “I see you have figured out some stuff. You’ll be on the 14th floor with Yoongi right?”

“Yep. I just got my desk. That’s it. The rest of the day doesn’t have anything and he hasn't given me anything to do yet.”

Jimin turned to move forward in line, with you following suit. He turned back, “Well Yoongi hasn’t had an assistant before but if he’s anything like Namjoon he’ll figure out a million things for you to do soon. Once they get used to it they forget how to even use food delivery apps or how to do their own laundry.” He shook his head. “To clarify: I don’t do his laundry. I coordinate the dry cleaning.”

“And here I was imagining you washing Namjoon’s undies.” You teased, causing him to laugh some more.

“Noooo stop. I don’t want that mental image.” Jimin licked his lips. “If you’re not doing anything later you should join me and Tae for drinks. Not at Club Tokki.” You raised your eyebrows. “Sorry, I peeked at your resume. Think about it and let me know.” He cut the conversation short as it was his turn in line. He concluded his business at the counter quickly. He turned around, carrying a few paper bags. “I’ll see you around.”

You waved, “Alright, I’ll text you about later.” It felt so nice to be included on your first day. He seemed fun. You stepped up and held the QR code up for them to scan. You were handed two paper bags and a larger plastic one. You took them and stepped aside, reading the stapled receipt paper. **PINK TOWELS X 4** on one of the bags. **QUEEN SIZE BLANKET WHITE X 2** on the larger one. He bought me blankets and towels!?!?! You took the bags back to the apartment. Yoongi had taken your bags and put them nicely in the corner of your room. You were pretty sure this stuff was for the guest bedroom and bathroom but you didn’t want to seem presumptuous.

YN: Hey! I picked up your order from the store. Where should I put the towels and blankets?

You waited a few minutes, unpacking one of your bags.

Y: Those are for you. The washing machine is upstairs in the hallway. 

YN: Thank you so much. Pink is my favorite color!

Y: :]

You went and started a load of towels and continued to unpack. Holy shit. This was weird.  You went back upstairs with the blankets. The upstairs loft area had a more lived in feel to it, with blankets strewn over a black couch, a large tv, and a video game system. There was also a keyboard in the corner. There was a short hallway containing a closet and the washer and dryer. You assumed the door at the end of the hallway led to his room. You were a very private person yourself, so you weren’t about to intrude on that. You honestly felt weird being in the loft area, it felt as though the lower level was for show and this was where Yoongi actually lived. 

You moved some more laundry around and decided to head back to the office. You still weren’t sure about joining Jimin for drinks tonight. You decided you would wait and see what the laundry status was. You set a timer on your phone and went back to the office. You stopped by the lounge area and made a coffee for yourself while preparing a coffee for Yoongi. Another ping on your phone.

***EVENT ADDED SATURDAY 6 PM***

Retirement Party for Lee Soobin Akioko Flame Restaurant

The espresso stopped dripping. You added the water and then poured it over ice. You walked over to the studio and gave the door a knock. No answer. 

 You huffed in slight irritation while trying to get your phone out one-handed. 

YN: It’s me. I have coffee.

Y: Leave it by the door.

YN: :( But someone could kick it over

Yoongi took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

Y: Give me a minute.

He got to what he deemed was a good stopping point and walked over to the door, opening it the slightest bit.

“Here you go.” You handed him the iced coffee. 

He took it, eyeing you suspiciously.  “What?” You said, exasperated. You had lovingly hand-crafted this brew.

“You like shitty coffee so I’m worried.” He took a sip. His eyebrows went up. “This is not shitty. This is good. Where did you get it from?” He noticeably relaxed, the doorway opening slightly more. 

“I made it using the espresso maker in the break room.” You said. “I worked in a coffee shop before I was old enough to work in bars. Shitty coffee has to do more with sleep deprivation than actual preferences.”

“True true.” He said, his lips pouting as he took another sip. The sound of a phone ringing in the studio cut through the air. He scowled, making no attempt to answer it.

“Is that your work phone?” You asked.

“Yes. I imagine it’s Jimin or one of BPD’s assistants.”

“So...shouldn’t you answer it?” You asked.

Yoongi shrugged and walked into his office, not bothering to shut the door. You took this as a slight invitation and followed him in. You took a brief look around before the phone rang again and you identified it’s location. You walked over and picked it up. “Genius Lab. This is [Y/N] speaking.” 

Yoongi turned around to ask what the fuck you were doing but then you had sounded so professional, he just plopped down in his work chair instead, a dumbfounded look on his face.

“I’m not sure. I’ll find out and get back with you. What’s the number?” You took out your phone and typed the information in. “Ok yes. Thank you.” You hung up the phone. 

“What are you doing exactly?” He asked. You weren’t sure if he was angry, amused, or confused. He was difficult to read sometimes.

You smirked. “Being your assistant. Would you like me to have this phone forward to mine so it doesn’t ring in here?” 

Yoongi’s eyes grew slightly wider, “You can do that?”

“Yep. There’s an app for it.” You responded, happy some of your previous office experience actually translated to this position.

“Yes. Please God yes.” He said quickly. 

You laughed, setting up the forwarding application. You picked up the phone to see what the number of the studio was. “Alright. I can at least triage some of the calls for you.” You said, satisfied with yourself. “Also. Ew.” You eyed a few take-out containers and coffee cups. “I’m coming back for...this.” You gestured to the room and excused yourself to get a trash bag. 

Yoongi sat there slightly dazed. He rarely let anyone into his studio and yet you had just come in, fixed his phone anxiety issue, and also scolded him. He scrolled through his phone, seeing the event on Saturday. It was annoying but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad with you and J-Hope there. Maybe. Even if it all was a stupid pretend performance.

You retrieved a trash bag from the break room and came back. You started cleaning without saying anything. It was becoming obvious that Jiwoo had spoken the truth, Yoongi really did spend most of his time in here. You made your way around the surfaces, throwing trash away. To your shock, Yoongi just sat there, drinking his coffee and scrolling through his phone.

“Thanks again for the towels and blankets. It was very thoughtful of you.”

“No problem.”

“Are we going to the party on Saturday?”

Yoongi looked up at you, “Sure.”

And just like that, you had committed to your first event at BigHit. “Alright, I’ll let Jin know.”

Yoongi shifted in his seat slightly, “is that who called?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Has he hit on you yet?”He asked casually, belying the fact that he was actually very interested in how you would react to the infamous flirt. 

You giggled. You were almost all the way done tidying up. “Of course. Have you seen his face? He had to let me know how in demand it is at all times.” You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, him and Namjoon stopped by the bar last week. Idiots.”

“Agreed.” Yoongi felt his body become more at ease with your answer. He didn’t know why he cared.

You looked around the spartan room. “Alright. I’m all done. Do you need anything else?”

Yoongi put his phone down. “Just to get back to my writing.”

You were so very curious but you didn’t want to intrude. “Sure thing. See you later.” You picked up your trash bag and left the room, shutting the door behind you. You were honestly surprised at how easy your day had been so far.  You sat the trash bag down by your cubicle, unsure of where to deposit it.  A text to Jiwoo about the dumpster and an RSVP to Jin about the party on Saturday and your day was almost done. You dropped the garbage off on your way to the apartment to switch out laundry. You were getting tired.

YN: Hey! I’m going to take a rain check for tonight. I am so tired and I still need to unpack ;-; I do want to though, so don’t think I’m blowing you off. Lunch tomorrow? 

JM: Shit I totally forgot you would need to unpack and everything. Sorry. No worries. Also, check your schedule, we have a huge design meeting around lunch time so they will most likely have it catered. I’ll buy you a drink on Saturday if you actually get Yoongi to attend.

You raised your eyebrows. It was on the schedule clear as day, on you and Yoongi’s calendar. Why wouldn’t he attend?

YN: Of course he’ll be there. Why wouldn’t he be?

JM: HAHAHAHA good luck. See you tomorrow!

It was already after five so you didn’t bother going back down to the office. You finished the laundry and finished your unpacking. And then you stood in the apartment just staring. The sun had gone down and the windows had a lovely view of the city. You could see part of the river and one of the many lit up bridges. You turned on the kitchen light. Shit. You had no idea what the food situation looked like here. Your stomach growled. You took some rice out of the cooker, leaving enough for Yoongi and sat at the countertop. 

You opened up your personal email. You had paid the dorm deposit for your brother, using your “disappear in the middle of the night and change your name again” emergency fund to pay for it. It had scared the shit out of you to pull all your money from savings and you still were secretly afraid that the job was lying about how much money it would pay you. Before you knew it, it was 9. 

YN: Hey, I ate some of the rice but I don’t want to just go through your kitchen. Do you want me to order or make anything?

No response. Ok. He was probably busy. You rifled through the cabinets. If his office was any indicator there should be at least a few ramyeon packs you could eat and replace. Bingo. You made a spicy prawn one and texted one more time.

YN: I owe you a spicy prawn ramyeon pack. Thanks again for everything. See you tomorrow.

You set the coffee maker for the next day and brush your teeth. You nestled into your new bed complete with one of your new fluffy blankets. You couldn't remember the last time you had your own bedroom. It was before your sister was born. The two of you had always shared a room. And then 7 years ago you started sharing a room with her and your niece. You took a deep breath, feeling as though you were letting 7 years of bullshit go all at once. If only it were all so simple. NEXT CHAPTER @lidda  @anpanman-sonyeondan  @firefairy1  @cuteipat  @sugaslittlekookies  @janeelizabeth1216 @deeepvibes @gxldenhunny

[pray4jensen]

dude i had nooooooo idea what was up with occ*mshipper. wtf!! genuinely so glad i saw that

yeah! i don’t think a lot of people are aware tbh. it’s good to have opposing viewpoints about a situation because sometimes it is hard to see what is truly happening unless you take a step outside the bubble and look at it from multiple angles

for example, a lot of people who support her are saying it’s not a toxic environment because they can exit her discord server at any time. that they’re not being held against their will and that it’s a positive place to talk about the show. but what they don’t see is that the people who do exit the server leave because they are bullied off it (there are so many people with first-hand experience who have talked about this). what they don’t realize is that anybody who has a divergent opinion from the group is immediately excluded from the group, and if you can’t calmly discuss opposing viewpoints without people coming down on you to silence you, then how can you say that you have a supportive and positive environment? it is only a positive environment for those who continue to affirm and uphold her opinions. you have to be a ‘yes man’ to enjoy that positive atmosphere. 

her entire blog consists of her reblogging posts and shaming people. anons and even non-anons who go to her with honest thoughts and questions are immediately belittled or accused of being a spy for the ‘other side,’ whether it be those who oppose her or whether she thinks it’s a secret network executive coming after her. when people give valid readings of the show’s text, she will always insinuate that they’re wrong about something, and that she has the necessary knowledge to analyze the show the right way (strange, because if there’s one thing i was told over the course of my english degree, it is that there is no wrong or right way, as long as you have enough (and key word being enough and not all-encompassing) evidence to back up your argument). she carefully choses not to reblog posts that are too on-the-dot about her behaviour or ones that point out flaws in her argument and analysis. when you follow her, you only see what she wants you to see. everybody is wrong or not smart enough to see it like her eyes do.

and then there’s the absolutely terrifying way she screenshots her private conversations with people in order to have something on hand to blackmail them should they step out of line. there’s the terrifying way she attempts to reason that her behaviour has noble intentions because she is ‘monitoring’ the bad apples in fandom (is curating an environment where constant surveillance is key and where you take it upon yourself to police others bad? um, yeah, it is). and then there’s the fact that any time someone tries to call her out, she uses highbrow language to make herself sound informed and reasonable, that she calls them queerphobic for opposing her movement against the network (and like, i’ll say that personally i want justice, too, but i also know there are more transparent, accountable and constructive ways to get it than the way she’s going about it). and if it’s not calling someone queerphobic, she will inevitably find another way to make it seem that the person on the other end is ‘bad’ just so that when she insults and hurls abuses at them, she can justify that it’s okay.

listen, it is never okay to call someone bad names or defame them just because they don’t agree with you. there is never a reason good enough to disrespect someone who comes to your blog to ask a question, whether they’re anonymous or not. nobody should have to prove to someone else that they’re worthy of respect. no one should have to pass through hoops to deserve kindness. if some stranger walked up to me on the street and asked me to call them an ambulance because they felt ill, would i sneer at them and ask them to prove their identity first? demand that they show me their social media to prove that they’re not a type of person whose opinions are different from mine, that they’re not racist or homophobic or ableist? would i accuse them immediately of being a bad person unless proven otherwise? no, i wouldn’t. i would call them a fucking ambulance.

and tbh, even if they were someone i knew, would i deny them basic human decency and respect if one time, they said something that i didn’t agree with? would i deny them an ambulance just because our opinions on destiel didn’t match up or if they didn’t like my approach about a certain thing? no, i wouldn’t. i would call them a fucking ambulance.     

with her, it’s not like that. you are disrespected first until you prove yourself to be worthy of respect. you have belittling language thrown at you as soon as you walk through the door, until you prove you’re worth any kindness or decency. and if you’re not new and you have an opinion that differs, well, then you’re not worth anything at all.

it takes one glance to see her blog is full of nothing but hatred. it takes one look to see that she is incapable of kindness or respect or thoughtful discussion. and to see someone like that try to lead the charge against the network or try to obtain ‘justice’ for what happened—it’s frightening, really. it’s something to think and worry about. why would you want to be a part of that? 

think about the type of people we know in this fandom who make change happen. think about how they treat their opponents with respect and kindness regardless of how terrible someone might treat them. think about stacey abrams and misha collins, who have had truly awful people come after them but who have always responded with kindness and good words, because people like that—they are the ones who bring about positive change and they are the type of people we should be looking for to protest the network’s censorship of queer identities. i’m pretty sure occ*mshipper isn’t one of them.     

[eremiie]

‼️SPOILERS‼️

I am kinda extremely disappointed with the last chapter. Like wtf was that??? 138 chapters of story building and character development thrown out of the window just for the sake of the kinda happy, kinda bittersweet ending. Eren's actions are almost justified because he was "doing it for the sake of others". No sir, you are a mass murderer that started a genocide. There are so many loose ends that ended up not being addressed at all and the whole thing with the smiling titan and Eren's mother was just ??? Why even mention it if you are not going to explain why the fuck he decided to kill his own mother. All of my tears for Jean and Connie was absolutely pointless as suddenly they are all free. Yay! The entire chapter felt more like fan service, than an actual chapter. Till chapter 138, attack on titan is a modern day masterpiece and Eren is a brilliant, brilliant character. I genuinely cannot wrap my head around the fact the Isayama decided to end this mind-blowingly deep and brilliant series with a final that is mediocre at best. That said, the final scene with Mikasa and the scarf is pure work of art.

This is, of course, my own opinion ♥️

aot 139 spoilers

ofc this is your opinion, and our opinions differ drastically lol, i’m not gonna try to convince you to see my pov but i will counter everything u said LMAO

i talk ab 139 here and here 

138 chapters of story building and character development thrown out of the window just for the sake of the kinda happy, kinda bittersweet ending.

i mean like when you think about it, literally everything led up to that moment,,,, like did yall want everyone to die? yall wanted eren to kill everyone? im confused LMAO. eren’s goal the whole time was to get freedom and kill all titans and he technically did both of those things— the goal he had since s1. mikasa got her character development which i talk ab here, eren got his developement (reverting back to his former s1-3 self), reiner no longer wants to be dead, all the other characters moved on, etc. all that devlopement is there, the story built up to that moment but a lot of people are solely focused on 139, isolating it as a chapter and aren’t paying much attention to the big picture.

also,,, isayama has said for YEARS he wanted to do a bittersweet ending, he just delivered it lol

Eren's actions are almost justified because he was "doing it for the sake of others". No sir, you are a mass murderer that started a genocide.

nobody really justified eren’s actions, they just understood why he had to do what he did, and what his actions brought for them. they aren’t agreeing with his actions they are agreeing with the motive behind his actions. in that other post i linked at the top i say, (in relations to armin & eren) 

“armin thanks eren for doing what he did to free them. not thanking eren for for mass murder period. it’s because of eren that the curse is lifted and that they are free and that’s what armin’s thanking eren for. mass murder is inexcusable, and eren knows that. that’s why after he panics and goes “but i dont want to die!” he comes to a realization that all the people he killed didn’t want to either, that the only way to atone for his sins is by dying himself. even if he didn’t die he would’ve probably been executed, or imprisoned for the rest of the life. just like in mikasa’s ova, “eren’s death is inevitable, no matter what reality you go to eren will always die because he carries death within himself.” in another translation of the chapter armin thanks eren for being the bad guy so that they could win. he knows what eren did was bad. he’s not excusing it, he just understands why eren had to do it and that eren had no choice if he wanted them to be free.”

There are so many loose ends that ended up not being addressed at all and the whole thing with the smiling titan and Eren's mother was just ??? Why even mention it if you are not going to explain why the fuck he decided to kill his own mother. 

one thing about isa’s writing style is that nothing is ever handed to you, everything is foreshadowed and you use context clues. it’s actually a pretty common style of writing— you give your reader 2+2, not 4. 

he mentioned it because you should’ve understood that part— eren sent the smiling titan to eat his mom because in the scene when the smiling titan had went into the walls the first person it should’ve ate was bertholdt. bertholdt was on the ground when the smiling titan had walked passed him— and usually titans are supposed to eat any human they encounter in hopes of finding a titan shifter to revert them. if the smiling titan had ate bertholdt it would’ve disrupted the path that ymir laid out for eren, messed up future events and the ending of aot wouldn’t have turned out like the ending of aot (with eren freeing his friends and breaking the curse of ymir), so he had to keep the smiling titan moving forward and his mom happened to be the next human she encountered, therefore his mom had to get eaten instead. 

season 4 episode 3 bestie

also,,, in the chapter 139 eren literally says “it wasn’t bertholdts time to die yet.”

um did u miss that

since you didn’t specify what wasn’t addressed i cant say much about that part but to me most things were obvious and i personally was satisfied with the ending. i have no questions, maybe besides going more into depth with ymir’s case 

All of my tears for Jean and Connie was absolutely pointless as suddenly they are all free. Yay!

lol well then i guess my tears for armin dying in s3 were pointless, i guess my tears for levi “dying” was pointless, i guess my tears for eren “dying” (like 3 times) were pointless— it’s happened so many times before why does it matter so much this time 😭,, and even then it makes the most sense of any other time; the curse of titans was broken therefore there are no more titans therefore they go back to their human state. if u want jean and connie to be dead just say that LMFAO

that said, the final scene with Mikasa and the scarf is pure work of art.

i agree

but anyways the rest is just you expressing your opinion, and if you think it’s mediocre or any of that, that’s perfectly fine. we’re allowed to have different opinons and you expressed yours in a well manner so thanks for not being like some other fans who have shitted heavily on isayama, said some unruly things, said they’d never watch anime again,,, so i hope u have a good day bestie 

[my-lady-of-roses]

Okay, I don’t know if someone is going to read this, but it’s definitely the last thing I’m saying on the subject. If any of the people that privately argued with me and I didn’t answer read this, I’m sorry, I wasn’t ignoring you, I’ve been working a lot of hours and this topic mentally exhausts me. I’ve been thinking a lot about what people I talked with told me, the ones that didn’t limit to tell me “shut the fuck up”, best argument.

I’ve received a bunch of shitty anons, I’ve been talked like a 13 yo that knows nothing about the world and I’ve been called straight (wtf). I’ve been automatically discredited for being white, reasoning I usually agree with (you do not suffer an oppression, you do not know it like people who do), but nobody explained to me what is that my white privilege (which I know exists, and hate it) doesn’t let me see about the situation.

Much has been said about the horrible person CC is and the terrible favor she is doing to discriminated groups. And I’m fine with people speaking about what they think is wrong or makes them feel bad or uncomfortable. The problem here is people are not satisfied pointing out things that could’ve been done better or that are simply dire. The problem is this has become a destructive debunking campaign, almost sabotage.

At first I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Don’t you realize we are shooting ourselves in the foot? It is evident TSC is not a perfect series, but it is ya mainstream literature. NOBODY does anything remotely like what we have here. Plots are centered in western countries with mainly white characters, true, and I agree it sucks everything is like that, all the protagonists of every single thing are fucking white and cishet super macho men. Really, I get it, I’m angry and frustrated too. And a lot of people have said what CC does is the bare minimum. It is not, it should be. But we need to be aware of the world we live in, and that CC is an ally, not an enemy. 

I don’t think for a second she had intention to hurt while writing her characters. It has been pointed out that there are far more mlm than wlw. It’s true, but where not? There are sexist, racist, fatphobic, transphobic and absolutely any other bad topic here. Yes, but this is the world we live in. There will be better things in the future, probably, but we shouldn’t so destructively criticize the little we have.

Focusing on racism, which I think it is the most debated subject, I’ve seen many different opinions. There has been talk of racism with characters that have commonly associated characteristics from a country/ethnicity, and there has been talk of racism with characters whose stories have no relevant racial characteristics too. They have even told me a character could be white and it would not affect their story at all. But they aren’t, that’s the point. You don’t need a plot reason not to be white. Another thing I’ve been thinking about: In nineteenth century Hong Kong there was traffic of women, and if you are writing a female character in that time and place, I don’t see how it is racist if this character is a victim of trafficking. Plot needs to have historical sense, if she would’ve been kidnapped by Italian mafia it would’ve been absurd.

Well, by last I want to say at no time have I tried to disparage anybody’s feelings, I’m just saying as a fandom we should be less self-destructive.

[dawniebb]

Face reveal bc yes

So, guys...especially from the Renegades fandom bc i’m the most active there: you saw the title lmao. This will...barely get notes (i wonder if it’ll get notes at all) buuUUUT YEAH LET’S GOOOO (If you’re gonna reblog pls be respectful bc i have issues and btw reblog ONLY if we are mutuals)

THIS IS ME! <3 HELLOOOO!!!

Now, if you want to stop here, do it. If you don’t...well

I’m going to tell you a story about myself and why I decided to post this.

First of all, I’m not celebrating anything. I’m just celebrating me, I guess (?) and in fact I’ve been wanting to do this since my parents got me a She-Ra cake for my 20th birthday back in May, because I loved that thing and felt the physical need to shove that thing into everyone’s faces But I didn’t because I didn’t feel ready enough...then that thought left my mind, and it came back like two weeks ago.

I’ve had mental issues since I was in like...elementary school. I’m sure I had felt depressed before I turned 12; however, the first memory I hold of feeling so, it’s when I was already 12. Because it was then when I realized that I wasn’t just a dumb kid who didn’t know how to make friends xd To this day, I genuinely feel like I was suffering from isolation bullying; you know xd my classmates purposely excluded me from activities, they would find any excuse for not letting me join their work teams and stuff like that; during my last year at elementary school, I only had like one friend, and that one friend and I shared a sort of abusive/toxic relationship, as in: manipulation, “we’re best friends. you should only talk to ME”, and then this friend turned her back at me too, because she decided to join the rest of the group and ignore me.

lol.

And I remember wondering what was I doing wrong. Like, why didn’t people like me; why didn’t they want to hang out with me; why did everyone seem to have friends except me. And then I got trapped into a very...dark place, and I remember being overthinking one day, because I tend to overthink a lot...and I remembered this specific kid who was in the same class as me.

I was in the line for the teacher to check my homework, and this kid, a boy, was behind me.

You see. I’ve always been chubby xd I don’t think I’ve ever been skinny since I was 2 years old or so, because by the time I was in kindergarten my classmates’ moms were already calling me a ‘little meatball’ thinking it was a fucking adorable nickname because Mexican moms can be pretty shitty sometimes don’t let the media stereotypes fool you not all of them are all cheerful and upbeat and when I was in elementary school, for some reason, besides being chubby, I had a really bad posture. And this boy who was behind me started imitating my way of walking and his friends were laughing, so I turned around and asked him wtf his problem was xd and he turned around to his friends and asked “Do you see how hunchback she is?” like I wasn’t even there xd and I genuinely tried to slap him but I couldn’t, and he said “Yo, stop moving because you’re going to cause an earthquake”

And my mom has always felt personally attacked for the fact I’m...u know, fat. She has always been very insistent on the fact I need to lose weight and stuff like that. And her, mixed with my experiences at school, made me feel like I wasn’t enough.

But my mind started saying things like “And u know why you aren’t enough? Because you’re fat”

Because, like, the day of the hunchback insult, when I told the teacher, who was a very shitty teacher btw but i’m not talking about her again today (i’ve already talked about her in MANY of my university papers, because I’m studying to be an English teacher), she turned around at him and said “Don’t listen to HER” and to this day I still don’t know why xd

But it made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Because I was fat.

Lol x2.

To this day, I still don’t know if I have an ED. Like, I genuinely don’t know. But I can safely say that, if I have one, it’s more likely BED... because, through the years, I managed to lose weight when I turned like 15 and I had my quinceañera party, but then first year of high school came and I had a relapse into depression...like, this might come off as a very unpopular opinion, but junior high school was dope for me x’d I remember it as one of the best years in my life, right after my second and third year in high school (high school in Mexico lasts only three years) and so...when I started my first year in high school and got fucking depressed again, I gained ALL that weight back, and even doubled it. During my second year of high school, I met my friends. The friends I still keep with me to this day. And they accepted me like the fucking train wreck I was, failing math like three times in a row and crying about it every single one of those times  because I’m pretty sure I have dyscalculia but my parents won’t listen to me they think i’m just lazy when it comes to math even though they know i cant even read a fucking clock . And them, along with my another very close friend who I met via fanfction when I was 12, helped me go through it. Like, I did have some issues with my body during high school, but not as much as you would expect. They were getting pretty bad in my first and second semester, but during the other four my friends managed to stop me from losing my mind, even when it all went to shit in my third year again for different reasons.

Then I graduated from high school, and I made friends there too. Although my best friends are still my friend from fanfiction, my friends from high school and just one of my university friends. And you know...I was left...pretty scarred from the shit that happened during third year of high school, and even if I didn’t feel like I was *that* depressed, I did gain a lot of weight.

Like, the highest I’ve ever been. Then my dad got sick during October from last year, then my two doggies were murdered god i fucking hate my neighbors the same day my dad was released from the hospital and my mom went kinda nuts during December and I wanted to just...yeah.

So I did a lot of emotional eating. Like, y’all don’t understand.

It was like...I would go to uni and eat a brownie. Then chocolates on my way home. THEN a “a snack” like...fucking rice krispies. Then a huge ass meal, with soda bc why not. Then I would have either cookies or hot cheetos as a treat after my huge ass meal,

I’m a short person xd carrying that much weight was making my ribs and back hurt, as well as my legs and feet; my breathing was freaking awful, and there were some days were I got SO paranoid I just said things like “i’m gonna die today” or “out here trying to get diabetes like the rest of your family, aren’t you??” :’) but i didn’t tell anybody. My parents are not really an option in this case, BUT I didn’t tell my friends, because then I would have to explain that I ate a lot and that was something I was EXTREMELY ashamed of.

When February came, I was scared of going out, because I knew I would have to choose what clothes to wear and nothing fit me anymore and, the things that did, looked super stretched on me and, u know, I was sore. My health was getting bad. But I didn’t like to feel that way.

AND I MUST CLARIFY HERE. I’M WORKING ON THAT. I’M ACTUALLY A BODY POSITIVY DEFENDER, I JUST DIDN’T LIKE HOW *I* LOOKED AND, BESIDES, I WAS GETTING SICK. I GENUINELY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE AT SOME POINT. I’M NOT SAYING BEING FAT OR CHUBBY IS DISGUSTING. NO. I BELIEVE ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL. AND IF I’M WRITING THIS IS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO KNOW RECOVERY IS DISGUSTING AND DIFFICULT SOMETIMES AND THAT IF YOU’RE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THAT: I’M SORRY. NOBODY SHOULD EVER FEEL LIKE THAT. I SUPPORT YOU. AND I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER. AND NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS SAY, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE TO CHANGE ONLY IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE. BECAUSE IT’S YOUR BODY. KEEP HOLDING ON.

But going back to the story...

My friends used to tell me I looked pretty all the time, which I appreciate a lot to this day. But my parents were like

Me: I’m fat and I look deformed.

Them: I agree.

Because yeah.

Just before the pandemic madness happened, I went on a school trip with my uni friends and one of them triggered my isolation trauma in the worst way possible...and that, somehow, ruined ALL the photos I took throughout the trip. Because I wasn’t enough. Because I was deformed and fat and I looked like an apple. Because nobody wanted to be seen near me. And my personality was shitty.

Like, I should’ve known I was worth it. I’m still worth it and I know that. But I wasn’t less worth it when I was chubbier. And maybe I didn’t look as bad as my head made me believe. But at the time my mental health was extremely awful.

Now, covid happened.

Not gonna lie. Quarantine fucked me up as much as it fucked everyone else, but for me...by not going out, I stopped being near trigger foods, and I was even able to consult a dietitian.

I’ve lost 15 kg since March. And I’ve managed to love my past self, but I love this one because changing it was my decision. Sure, my parents didn’t help a lot, but in the end it was MY decision. I’ve come to accept I was worth it even when I felt disgusted by myself, and all of those awful things people said or did to me, like my friend during that trip...

I didn’t deserve any of those things. Because NO ONE deserves to be treated that way.  No one deserves somebody else making fun of them. No one deserves somebody else doing awful things to them that they know damn well that they trigger their childhood trauma. No one deserves to be judged for the way they look.

I was in a very dark place, and sometimes I’m still inside there. And like...during all those times, I kept posting in here.

I remember being next to my dad in the hospital, telling him “Guess what? Supernova drops this week” or “We’re going to watch TDP together, right?” or “Let me talk to you about She-Ra...” ....those were things that like...saved my life for a while, though mostly Supernova. Because, actually, Marissa Meyer has helped me in my fucking darkest years x’d from my third year of high school until now.

Her books didn’t take my depression away, but they did make things a little lighter for me, even when I felt like dying.

And I know this fandom is like..full of minors, so...I don’t know if any of you need to hear this: But you’re worth it.

If you want to change anything in your body, do it because YOU want to.

Because YOU’LL like you better.

Because it’s YOUR body, and it’s the only part of yourself that you and other people can touch.

Nobody should ever tell you you’re worthless because of your weight and your physical appearance. And if they ever do, then they’re the ones who should apologize, not you.

Nobody has the right to mistreat you, abuse you, or use your own body against you.

As for me...my ribs don’t hurt anymore. Nor does my back or my feet, and my breathing is getting better; I took the conscious decision to lose weight but, like I said, now that I’m not in such a dark place, I’m staring to realize that the past me wasn’t as hideous as my mind was making me believe. She was okay; she was broken inside, but she didn’t deserve anything that happened to her, nor did she deserved to treat herself that badly.

I posted my photo just to celebrate that I can finally said I’m not disgusted anymore. I can finally see myself in pictures again. And see my own reflection. Or go through my closet. Or do my makeup, because I LOVE doing my makeup and I was even ashamed of that. I’m not fully okay yet, but I’m healing.

So, if there’s any little Dawnie around here: I hope you give yourself a chance and realize you’re beautiful.

I hope that, if you change, it’s because you wanted to do it.

I hope you know that it’ll get better even if the healing process it’s not that easy.

I hope you know there’s people who love you.

I hope you know that you are beautiful. You were always beautiful and, no matter what path you choose, you’ll always be beautiful.

And worth it.

And human.

And important.

Take care of yourself, because you’re wonderful, no matter your size <3

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/26/21

 i always feel like i should do something special for the last tuesday of a month but i never know what that thing should be

listening my girlfriend is a witch, by october country. they’re from california, this was released in 1968, and song sounds like it and exactly like the album cover art. wiki says this band is “folk rock” but i don’t know that i quite agree with that? i can hear a surf rock influence, but there’s also a disco sort of underline? as always please remember i am partially deaf and my musical opinions should be taken with a full pound of salt.

i’m not on tiktok bc i’m old and it feels precisely tailored to eat up all of my time. my sister and my best friend ARE on tiktok and they send me a carefully curated selection (many a day) of the “best” ones. this song has been on a bunch of em 

undefined

reading absolutely jack shit bc i have a no-fic-rec policy for the reading section

watching blue submarine no. 6. i have a lot of conflicting feelings about this. let’s get the good shit out of the way- postapoc sea setting is CANDY to me. good ship design. every submariner i have ever met has just been the weirdest fuckin person and i think that’s carried through here very well. there’s some fun military maneuvers here that are more complex than your typical anime battle scenes and that’s neat. there’s a sad disheveled anime boy i think is nice to look at. the very early CG has a charming amount of jank to it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiOgsBagzyw

navy go brrrr

the bad- the plot is tenuous to nonexistent. the ending feels cheap, rushed, and unearned. i don't know if i’m missing some stuff, culturally- it feels like there are parallels being made here to japanese submariners in wwii and the pacific theater but i don’t know bc i’m a dumb american and nobody seems to have looked at this obscure four-episode OVA with a critical historical lens.

the very ugly- the creature design is initially interesting but after ten seconds you’re like “whoa hey this tribal society of mutated beast people is actually quite racist” and it does not get better throughout the series. the lead enemy admiral is an infantile shark dog man with dreadlocks. the special lady sea creature people are just tits out all of the time and there’s a very uncomfy scene with them that i don’t know how to feel about but wish it were trigger warned in some fashion.

further sidebar: why must we be either naked or in a skin-tight suit to pilot a mech when our male counterpart gets to wear a normal ass flight suit. why does anime do this (i know why but like. a rhetorical why).

playing pc still broken (upside down smiley face emoji here) so i’ve been combing through my phone like “wtf is in here, what did i buy and mean to play” and the answer is 2018′s Heaven Will Be Mine, also here on Steam.

Heaven Will Be Mine is a queer science fiction mecha visual novel from the creators of queer cult horror visual novel We Know The Devil, about joyriding mecha, kissing your enemies, and fighting gravity’s pull. Follow three women piloting giant robots in the last days of an alternate 1980s space program fighting for humanity’s future—or ditching their jobs to make out with each other instead. 

this? this is candy to me. this is a good ass video game. i played through one route last night and i cried. i cannot talk about any of it without major emotional spoilers. 

making i was going to say this is a fallow week bc have been too fucking busy to make anything, but then i remembered a thing i’ve been meaning to do that took like ten minutes.

as previously stated, i haven’t done shit this week other than pull my amaryllis out of hibernation(feels a little spongy, concerning) and feed my sourdough. i always feel really bad when i have to throw out sourdough starter, so i’m going to dry the discard and see what happens in like a year? question mark? you’re really supposed to dry the fed, very alive starter but i don’t want to feed it twice this week and this is a very low-stakes experiment. i suspect, when/if i revive the dried discard, it will take much longer with more feedings to become an active healthy thing again but we’ll see! do not stay tuned to this one, PLEASE change your dial.

no pics bc it’s just sludgy dough on parchment paper on a cookie sheet

[iaintyourbro]

Hey I just wanted to make a statement many fans worried about the LTD but as someone who watched and read many animes/mangas with LT genre as a main theme in every of these works the LT end up at the last episode or chapter but with FF7 if it was a main theme to the game why did it end in disc 1 why didn't it end at the last disc despite the OG having 3discs it should have been the climex of the game but it didn't because it isn't important what important is C real identity that the real theme .

Hey anon.

AGREED. The love triangle was meant to enhance the illusion aspect of Cloud’s issue. 

They game even tells us he created an illusion of himself. SOLDIER Cloud was meant to waver between the two women... I do think people make this a bigger thing than it actually was. I’d say, for me, it’s a very small aspect of his personality struggles. I do find it interesting in Remake they took the wavering aspect out. 

I’m of the opinion that Cloud didn’t do anything obvious to waver or attempt anything with EITHER girl. I think he had a thing for both of them, I don’t think as SOLDIER Cloud it was a deep thing. I think his desire was mostly to be a hero and save the damsel in distress. What’s funny is, neither of them really were damsels in distress...

Aerith in OG actually gets pissed at him for saying something like “I’m not gonna let a girl help me.” She pretty much is like “lol buddy okay you’re dumb.” Tifa just is Tifa and can kick all the ass - even in OG. The romance in FFVII OG to me wasn’t really a thing. Even all the GS dates were kind of weird. Aerith’s hints heavily that Cloud isn’t Cloud. Then you get this confirmed later and start unraveling the illusion and are in a state of “WTF IS GOING ON!” At least that was me.

This is the first time I remember going oh shit, what? The one thing in OG that they missed was building up his relationship with Tifa up to this point. The focus was to get the player attached to Aerith, so Midgar was focused on that, and then if you get her as a date option for the GS, that’s your next time. Personally, I never got attached to Aerith in OG because I didn’t like how she was. Remake Aerith is amazing and hilarious. 

I am not a fan of love triangles. FFIV had one, but it was obvious that Rosa had already chosen Cecil to me - so it wasn’t a huge thing. FFVII’s love triangle was vague and almost felt forced at times.

The only reason I honestly knew there was a love triangle was because of the user booklet that came with a game and what it said under Aerith’s description. 

The prison scene was always nasty to me because of course Tifa is like wtf. Aerith is like why are you and Cloud in the same cell? Cloud is like “I have no idea what’s going on.” Cuz he was oblivious - he had no idea that these two were in a “rivalry” over his affections... And honestly only Aerith really shows effort to me. Tifa isn’t confrontational, so isn’t going to do anything. Cloud doesn’t make an effort either way. 

This is another scene where you’re like wow okay. I mean, the whole Lifestream is like that, honestly. You’ve been playing this game and suddenly find out the guy you were playing with wasn’t actually who you thought he was. He’s a dork who never made it into SOLDIER and has somewhat of an obsession with this girl, Tifa, who you may or may not have even paid attention to the first part of the game. 

They make sure to leave up the “...I was devastated. ...I wanted to be noticed.” I took this screenshot out of my four up there cuz I didn’t have room and since they left the text up, but the kid was desperate to get her to notice him. To prove himself to her (and I assume her father). 

I mean, this is an accurate representation of his head when you go into it. The Nibelheim incident includes some memories of Zack and Sephiroth, but Tifa is also over there. I do think in Remake they will expand on this scene and show more about his mother, maybe his father, some other stuff that happened in his childhood, expand on the Mt. Nibel incident, and I think the CC elements of the Nibelheim incident will also come into play for the final part of this sequence once he remembers Zack.

To me, once this happens, it was clear that Cloud was in love with Tifa. That the first part of the game was an illusion, so I didn’t really think much else about it. Then I found out about all the fighting and I’m like... “Why though?” 

Real Cloud was all about Tifa and still was after he’s back. I felt no wavering after that point. Aerith dies, it’s permanent. It’s supposed to be realistic. Dead people don’t come back in real life, no matter how badly we want them to and no matter how many tissues we use to mourn for them. 

I do NOT think the love triangle was supposed to be a main theme OR stick has hard as it did. I think the fans did that, and now with Remake they’re clearing it up so... HOPEFULLY... it’s done. 

I think it’s a shame, because my best memories of FFVII as a teen weren’t the romance (cuz it was like non-existent) but Cloud revealing who he was, Vincent (of course), killing Hojo, the Northern Crater and the Lifestream, the discourse between Cloud and Barret... It wasn’t thinking about who Cloud liked more when he was SOLDIER Cloud. 

People I’ve talked to in real life who played the OG feel the same way. They didn’t even know this was up for debate... and these are casual players, so they didn’t play/watch CC or DoC and maybe the watched AC back in the day, but it didn’t seem to change their opinion. The only time I’ve seen people staunchly saying that it was player choice are those that couldn’t accept the fact that it WAS part of the illusion. And I’ve only ever seen it online. 

For people who actually played remake, nobody even thinks Aerith was a love interest (this is especially true for new fans that did not play OG). And I can tell you, the only people in real life that know I’m a shipper are my husband and my sister. The rest of the people I talk to don’t, because most of them are my co-workers and they don’t need to know this crazy fandom side of me. 

I think with the death of the LTD in Remake, it just opens things up for more interesting subjects regarding the entire cast. It makes Aerith much more lovable because she doesn’t seem to only give a shit about Cloud like she did in OG. I’m sure she won’t be so nasty to Barret when they go to Corel - I’d be shocked if they leave that in. I’m sure she’s not going to ask for a fortune from Cait Sith, and I’m sure she probably won’t even ask Cloud to go out at the GS. 

So that’s my thoughts...

In closing (long closing), I also think it does somewhat of a disservice for us to obsess over who Cloud liked more when he was SOLDIER Cloud. Both women are powerful on their own. They don’t need no man. I think sometimes when we get too extreme into this discussion, we almost feel like we’re defending these women to say because Cloud loves her more, she’s more important. That’s not the case, in my mind. Aerith is important because she’s Aerith. Whether Cloud loves her or not doesn’t impact her importance to the plot.

Same with Tifa. Now, Tifa’s role IS to be by Cloud’s side and ultimately save his life (multiple times). However, Tifa herself COULD function without Cloud. Cloud cannot function without Tifa prior to getting himself back in the Lifestream. If he falls into the Lifestream and there’s no Tifa, that’s pretty much it for him. 

In Cloud’s case, we can get to a point where it’s like he cares about nothing else except women, which we know is far from the truth. Cloud doesn’t seem to say much at all about women or dating in OG - in Remake they do some stuff with Wall Market and him acting like he knows what he’s doing (he doesn’t), but they have him acting like at typical arrogant teen. He’s an awkward dude, and it’s adorable, and it’s not that he’s blind. He obviously is attracted to Tifa early on. If you get Aerith’s red dress he stumbles over his words. 

That’s not to say we don’t care about how Cloud feels. We do. Which is why it’s important that we help him get himself back and get him through his complete breakdown. But the bigger focus should be the fact that Cloud isn’t fully Cloud and the romantic implications of that shouldn’t be weighed as heavily as the importance of getting his mind back.

[dumbdancemomssideblog]

S1E1: The Competition Begins

okie dokie first ever episode of dance moms rewatch starts now :0 i actually remember watching this the very first time it aired on lifetime because i was channel surfing and saw a commercial for it earlier that day. that was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. ah memories... i didnt know what to expect because i did dance when i was a kid but not on a competition team and it was mostly ballet so i was pretty unfamiliar with this whole world. 

anyway lets begin. this is probably gonna be a longer post than what i’ll end up writing for the other episodes in season 1 bc the first episode introduces so much info, just a heads up

Act 1: (aside: yes its insufferable to divide this into “acts” when its really just like “segments separated by commercial breaks” but thats how they’re called in actual tv scripts so im just going with that cuz i cant think of a better/easier way uwu)

god this is so fucking early 2010s lmao

i miss these days where they were just talented nobodies from pittsburgh on a low budget reality tv show that nobody even knew would be successful. and the bad hair and makeup but idk if that was also just a 2011 thing lol

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES GREEN SCREEN INTROS IM DYING

the chalkboard !!!! they werent doing the pyramid on the mirror yet 

(apparently abby never did anything similar to the pyramid thing but the producers made her and it became a whole Thing on the show and thats why the moms were like wtf is this bullshit the first week)

mackenzie looks like a toddler. chloe is so tiny. theyre the 2 who changed the most physically over the course of the show

i remember watching this for the first time being used to ballet lyrical and jazz but never having done or really seen acro/gymnastics in dance choreo and being SO flabbergasted. i was thinking “a chin stand is not dancing what the actual hell” and yknow what? i was right

melissa: “my boyfriend knows how much i spend on dance because he signs the checks...............hermehhemrherrmehermh” (the most awkward laugh omg)

maddie is wearing a fucking bumpit in her hair i cannot

melissa deadass just said out loud “im here for my daughter im not here to make friends” ok everybody mark that one off on your catty women’s reality tv show bingo card!

camera man accidentally getting in the shot filming right in front of the huge wall-mirror.... what is this, amateur hour? i’ll let it slide since its the first day of filming rehearsal but step it up, boys

aw i forgot about maddie getting sick and crying :/ poor kid

melissa saying “i cant stand a chid that’s sick” sounds so edited like the intonation made it seem to me like they just cut her off mid-sentence i love lifetime

oh this was still when they were wearing normal stuff to class/rehearsal like black leotards bc they werent getting sent a trillion crazy 2-piece dancewear outfits for free yet bc they werent famous, man those were the days

Act 2:

[obligatory b-roll footage of downtown pittsburgh] 

the maddie chloe paige trio !!!! this is making me feel so nostalgic

“knees together, paige. you’re bow-legged, you need to fix that”

“you’re tall, you’re skinny, you’re a beautiful girl, you can do better than this. FOCUS” shes like 10 abby what the hell

“people think im tough and i guess i am but i would rather be the one to make your kid cry in the privacy of my studio than at an open-call audition in front of hundreds of people”

okay unpopular opinion alert: i agree with a lot of what abby says about stuff like this but her delivery is flawed, to but it euphemistically, that being said i think the production team of the show and the fame inflating her ego changed all of this somewhere over the course of the second season and its really sad to see :/ i can expand on that thought later tho

aw paige crying bc abby correcting her (but not saying anything personal or out of line, just technique corrections (at based on what we were shown, we dont know everything she said oop)) shes a sensitive kid she never should have been put on this show :( 

paige looks exactly like her mom i didnt realize that before

nia and holly were done so dirty throughout the whole series in terms of the narrative the producers set up about nia being the weakest link :/ 

Act 3:

cathy’s entire involvement in the show from the very beginning was so painfully obviously scripted (or at least heavily staged) 

vivi was also done dirty by the show’s narrative and she was only 6 and they presented her as like the butt of the joke bc her mom’s “character” was crazy and also she wasnt good at dance. i wonder how she feels about the show now that shes a teenager hmm. she really seemed not to give a fuck about dance for better or for worse when she was a kid tho so maybe she doesnt care ?

in what universe would an owner of another competitive dance studio bring her own kid to another studio more than an hour’s drive away, AND be under the impression that she could compete with them in a week, especially when they showed the kids’ and moms’ shocked reaction at the start of the episode to having to learn a dance in a week and compete it? like really what is the point of cathy and vivi being a part of this show im so ????

Act 4: 

THE MINISTER DAWN OUTBURST HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS

this fight is about 50% of what got them a full season 1 and then things took off from there tbh. the other 50% was the electricity dance but thats a point for next episode..... :)

“you’re a minister act like one” “YOU’RE RIGHT I AM A MINISTER! LET’S PLAY THE BIBLE GAME ABBY, WHEN JESUS SAW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG HE WENT AFTER THEM, AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO MY KID” ma’am i think the wrongs jesus addressed were of slightly more importance than a preteen being told she cant take a dance class if shes violating the studio’s dress code

this is so good bc it wasnt staged afaik and there are regular students all throughout the building just STARING at them like lmao what even is going on, so im pretty sure this is real???

regardless, yeah dont wear socks and a tshirt to an acrobatics class, thats common fucking sense

another cameraman-in-mirror sighting, but its hard to think about angles when filming spontaneous drama like this, so i wont count it against them

“you called me fat” (i remember that being in the episode but thats not on the episode available through lifetime on demand that im watching from my moms tv hmmmmmm) “i told you to close and tuck in your two-piece costume, theres a big difference. HOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU CAN’T REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR FEET OUT” uh scream

she really called the police on this woman i cannot handle this. can you imagine being a police officer responding to this call? 

“we have a parent thats out of control. pardon? no shes doesnt have weapons, just her mouth” iconic

im sorry im still not over the hair and makeup. the flat hair with the side bangs. the black pencil eyeliner applied all the way around the eye. why did any of us think this was a look :( why did we do this :(

Act 5:

they went all the way to phoenix to compete 3 numbers, only 2 of which are shown in the episode.

i think this is the only time they ever went to west coast dance explosion because its an actual competition and they wouldnt allow filming after this lol i think they did go to wcde one weekend in addition to a competition where they were filming but it wasnt shown or mentioned at all

abby not wanting brooke and paige to have a french manicure on stage if theyre the only ones in the group with the french tips is perfectly valid idk why it was framed as some crazy micromanaging shit

i also am really not a fan of the whole “high functioning alcoholic wine mom/crazy stage mom” schtick they were pushing for the first few episodes of this show

in retrospect i feel like so many of the quips in this episode were intentionally fucking crazy just to get the audience engaged enough to want to watch more episodes...

“see those girls down there, those girls with the legs? thats who you’re up against, so step it up”

abby warning them that its dangerous for their little party hats to slip when they’re doing aerials and pirouettes and stuff: “what if you were at radio city music hall and they had the ice rink out and you were doing a side aerial and fell 13 stories down and died, huh?” fantastic point abby thank you for saying that to 5 girls ages 8-12 less than 5 minutes before they went on stage. perfect time for a teaching moment like that :)

i forgot how bad the camera work was in the first few episodes for footage of their performances. like they really didnt think the show’s audience would actually want to watch the kids dance, the producers and editors thought we just wanted to see stage mothers yelling at each other lol

also the mic feed over the music of abby talking to herself giving them corrections while watching them dance on stage.... im so glad they quit doing that. i dont remember them doing it like that for any other episode, i hope im right

this choreo is very basic and its a cute dance i guess but its very cringe in some places and for the first episode this is such a forgettable group routine

their scandalized reaction to placing third and the sad piano music is so funny honestly

and maddies reaction in the interview which was almost definitely fed to her by the producers where shes like “i win all the time i dont really know what its like to LOSE i always win or get runner up” so many of maddies lines from season 1 interviews sound so fake and she was probably too naive to know they were getting her to say that stuff so they could paint her as a conceited brat (she was EIGHT)

the trio costume was so ugly im sorry (is it supposed to be like a 50s pinup bathing suit?) (and the headband thing looks so bad) and also the music is bad but they had no real authority over that bc of copyright stuff

chloe’s headpiece coming forward and the ensuing drama was another moment in the episode that really solidified public interest in the show imho.... 

“YOU’RE IN THE BAR HAVING A DRINK AND YOUR KID’S HEADPIECE IS FALLING OFF” “it did not FALL OFF it CAME FORWARD it was FINE!!!”

“mistakes happen, we’re human.” “YOU are. mistakes like that dont happen to me”

and then the “next time on dance moms” with the WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE electricity dance, of course. genuinely that was really smart of the producers in terms of structuring things to generate intrigue lol. and obviously it ended up working....

[kakakakashi]

hi! i’m the one that asked for “I see you” with Itachi and thank you for doing it! also I LOVE the idea of him in glasses! he’d be so cute with little glasses perched on his nose! and I can just imagine kisame seeing Itachi like squinting at distant sign posts and holding books WAY CLOSER to his face than he should need to and kisame puts two and two together and just teases him mercilessly about it (Kisame, standing 5 feet away: Hey Itachi, how many fingers am I holding up?) (part 1)

and since you asked *deep breath* so I think Itachi conflicts me so much because he seems so aloof and untouchable (and so overpowered they had to nerf him with a fatal illness because no one could kill him) and I feel like a cliche fangirl that I like him. but also I’m still so intrigued by his story and I know he can be sweet and caring and has more depth because with see him in flashbacks with Sasuke being such a loving brother. (part 2)

and I’m also conflicted about what he did. like I can agree with putting the village and his brother over anything but? forcing his brother into such an awful hateful life? Torturing him with the Tsukuyomi? Not hot. i’m so sorry this is long I have a lot of thoughts! (part 3)

Y’all probably know what happens, but I’ll say it anyway just in case. SPOILER ALERT!

Also, this is going to be long, so buckle up, buttercup. 

I’ve also linked this post throughout if you’re confused as to what I’m talking about. 

OMG! YES! Okay, so let’s talk about this! I have lots of ideas. Okay, let’s start with Itachi & glasses. So, my theory was confirmed recently when I watched the part after Sasuke kills Danzo. The mangekyou basically deteriorates your vision like a normal vision deterioration for someone with glasses. Let me also preface this with the fact that I have bad vision, and I’ve worn glasses full time since second grade.

Anyway, when I saw the scene illustrated through Sasuke’s eyes, I laughed because that’s almost exactly what my vision looks like without glasses. Therefore, we can assume that my vision is about the same as Sasuke’s before Sasuke had off brand Madara Lasik. Knowing this and knowing that glasses do exist in the Naruto universe, Sasuke literally had no reason to not get glasses. Now, knowing this, let’s move on to Itachi. Shall we?

We don’t know how often Itachi uses his mangekyou, but we can assume it’s about as much as Sasuke does. Just look at how much he uses it to fight Danzo. I think Itachi used it over time, but Sasuke used it all at once. Therefore, let’s just say Itachi had vision like Sasuke. Therefore, he could have gotten glasses too! Even if his vision was worse, there are higher prescriptions he could have gotten!

Therefore, I like to think that in some little crack AU, Itachi has these little old man glasses that he REFUSES to wear, and Kisame always tells him to wear them because “Itachi, you tripped over the curb. For the love of all things holy, WEAR YOUR DAMN GLASSES!” & Itachi is like “No, I don’t look scary enough with them.”

This also goes along with my crack idea that he loses his glasses on top of his head ALL THE TIME! I had a teacher once who had like 5 pairs of reading glasses, because she’d always put them places and forget about them, but her lessons were always so fun, nobody wanted her to interrupt the lesson to look for her glasses. One time, she ended up with two pairs on her head and one on her face. This is basically Itachi.

(Now I miss my teacher. She was so cool! Her class was so fun!) Anyway!

You are 100% right about Kisame teasing Itachi. He teases him NONSTOP about it. The man is merciless because there is literally NO reason for Itachi to resist wearing his glasses. Like, it’s so stupid. It works especially because I know I wouldn’t be able to see him 5 feet away, so there’s no way Itachi could either.

Oh! Itachi also thinks he looks more intimidating when he squints, so it’s a bonus, but he’ll never admit it.

Okay, now let’s talk about Itachi as a person. I totally get this & agree so much more than you could ever know. I literally go on this rant every damn day.

I fuckin hate Itachi. He is an idiot. He and Shisui just… Have you ever worked on a project in school with a boy who thinks there’s only one way to do a thing? Even though you show him 12 other ways to do it? And he still just ignores you even though your ways are all better? Yeah, that’s Shisui & Itachi. They may be “prodigies” but they’re also dumb boys & totally not prodigies.

Now, let’s talk about Itachi literally TORTURING HIS 9-YEAR-OLD BROTHER WHEN HE HAD NO REASON WHATSOEVER TO DO SO! Okay, so Danzo told him to kill his clan. He’s a 14-year-old boy at the time, so that’s kind of… *so-so hand motion* Now, his justification of doing it was to protect Sasuke, right? THEN WHY DID HE LITERALLY TORTUR HIM? There is no reason Itachi had to literally torture his 9-year-old brother. He chose to do that for shits n giggles. Also, what was his bullshit overdramatic teen angst bullshit thing about “testing his ability?”

Itachi should have told him something along the lines of, “You’ll understand when you’re older.” Itachi probably knew about the “curse of hatred” or whatever, and he literally encouraged it in Sasuke! He literally did more harm than good, and this bitch had the audacity to say that he did it all for Sasuke, the person he hurt the most.

Also, let’s discuss how 14-year-old Anbu level ninja Itachi should have fought Danzo on it with Shisui, and worked with their family and the leaf to help unify those bonds. This is also going back to Hiruzen being a shitty Hokage, but let’s not get into that. My point is that Itachi should’ve recognized how Danzo was wrong and fought against him. There were many, many better ways to do things. 

Wait a second! This whole thing sounds exactly like something an abuse apologist would write! Oh, wow! Never would’ve guessed! *looks at the camera like on the office because I’ve been saying this since episode 1*

Anyway, this goes back into my fanon vs. canon chat I had a little while ago. I fucking HATE canon Itachi. I never got why people liked the Uchiha, especially Itachi, until I discovered Shisui. (Let the record reflect that while I do like Shisui, I stand by my previous statement that he is stupid in canon.) I don’t even care about fanon Itachi much. I didn’t care about him at all until I discovered an artist I really liked. I only followed them for Shisui, but I gradually came to like Itachi too. Now, I like fanon Itachi somewhat. I don’t even know why I’ve been having a thing for him lately. Frankly, I’m shocked. I think it might be for the drama with Shisui, but idk. Sometimes, my pussy just wants something, and my brain is like, “wtf is wrong with you?” This is one of those times. 

It’s mostly because Itachi’s simply not my type, though. Like, some people like him, and that’s totally fine. I just never really got the appeal, but that’s my opinion. We all like different aspects of different people, and that’s cool. He’s just not my usual type at all.

I’m not too mad about it either, because I like fanon Itachi. I like the good aspects of Itachi magnified and the not so good aspects removed. It’s like Jaraiya and Sakura. Therefore, I’m not as against him as I am canon Itachi. 

Long story short, canon is horrible. I hate it, reject it, and create my own in my brain.    - 🍒

[szopenhauer]

Do you like Chanel purses? no

When was the last time you had Pepsi? ages ago

Do you know anyone with exaggeratedly big muscles? not personally

What is your favorite endangered animall? elephant

Can you name someone with the same last name as you? my parents

Who was the last person to scream your name? ...

By the way, that wasnt meant to be perverted.  too late  I have no idea why I thought about that - no one ever screamed my name this way and nobody ever will :x

Do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? it seems Name something that you are doing tonight. nothing and I realized that I don’t want to go to sleep more than ever before, I just don’t want to wake up tomorrow and yet I’m scared of dying (suffering)

Do you like the smell of a barbecue? nah

Would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now? too young for me Are you more likely to show affection through your words or your actions? words I guess Do you have an easy time falling asleep? I wish Are you a crier? crybaby Do you like to wear makeup? no Do you have a high tolerance for people? pfft Do you like your bed? why not How many times have you been to the ER? few

Are you wearing shorts? basically never

Do you eat randomly, just whenever the hell you want? ...

Did you have trouble getting up this morning? yeah What’s a few things that automatically make you go, “Awww”? cute little dogs Do you have soft hands? Do you like holding hands? do I? I like to hold hands tho What’s your opinion on perfumes that are REALLY expensive?  dumb, I hate perfume but expensive - that is ridiculous! Have you ever really hated a teacher and practically made it clear you did? Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Are you a little bit cautious around horses? Do they scare you a bit? I’m just a cautious person in general  If you could live next door to ANYONE, who would you want to live beside? love of my life, I mean - we can live together but for now it would be cool if we were neighbors at least, you know what I mean? Do you think your friends are pretty? Do your friends think your pretty? what friends... Are you currently worried about your parents finding out about something? maybe mom about that one particular thing that starts on S and ends with X

What is your opinion on air pollution? less cars!

Were you forced to read ‘The Odyssey’ in high school? from what I remember

Who was the last person to come visit you? M.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? recently

Do you own any superhero shirts? nope

What is your opinion on the “Team Edward/Team Jacob” shirts? I dislike Twilight

If you had to teach a class, what would you teach? if I really had to then art

How did your parents meet each other? personal

What profession do you think is the most under-appreciated? garbage collectors, those who clean the streets or hospitals, postmen etc.

Have you ever drawn on someone while they were sleeping? don’t do that

Does time really heal all wounds? Or is that just a trivial saying? trivial saying

Where is your favorite place to take a nap? I don’t do naps but my bed

Would you rather lose all your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? not be able to make new

Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I don’t drive

What’s a tradition you hope never dies out? it’s a secret

Do you have any exes you’d consider dating again? I’m dating my ex 

Have you ever went a year without getting your hair cut? yes Do you think you could go a week without sugar? without sweets? I already do, I don’t even drink tea with sugar  Would you be willing to go one day each week without meat? absolutely Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? whatever Are you any good at sewing? I know basics Have you looked at any old photos of yourself lately? this year Do you carry a calculator around with you everywhere? I don’t need it that often Do you like to plan things out or just go with the flow? plan but not strictly

Do you garden at all? If so, what types of things do you grow? I help my parents which I find pointless because there is always much more work than results Do you consider cooking to be an art? when done right How many pairs of sunglasses do you own? too many considering that I barely wear ‘em ^^” Are you a fast or slow reader? fast Would you ever spend $500 on concert tickets? hell no Do you know anyone who looks like you? there was a gal who was similar to me on tumblr but younger than me, I lost contact with her  Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor?  yeah :( Are you a short tempered person? oh well...

Does it take a lot to gross you out? I’m easily grossed out  Last time you seen an ocean: never saw ocean in person Do you collect sea shells? not as much as I used to

What is one change you need to make in your life this month? lets not talk about it, ok?

Would you have sex with the last person you texted? done Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? she’s gonna be busy working Do you require a lot of private time? yasss Have you ever told a guy you were a lesbian to get him to leave you alone? it’s because I’m a lesbian lmfao If you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? in my most fav shows plot was more important to me than characters tbh, it’s hard to explain, I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this way haha but in Buffy I didn’t like Xander and Angel was annoying even though he was necessary, I wasn’t a fan of Faith and didn’t understand Riley existence in the universe, also Dawn changed a lot for worse but I swallowed it with patience, in Call the midwife I felt crappy when they took Chummy and Jenny away, I didn’t watch newest episodes so I have no idea who Lucille and Valerie are, I horribly miss sister Evangelina :(

What’s the best part about flying? don’t ask me, I’ve never been on a plane

Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? fragments

Chocolate or Vanilla ice cream? vanilla

If you had to get glasses would you wear contacts? I’d prefer glasses

Are mac’s really better than PC’s? I’m a PC gal

D0 y0u l1k3 t0 t@lk l1k3 a 5c3n3 k1d? *cringe*

When you were red and green clothes do you feel like a Christmas Tree? lol

What TV show has the best theme song? hard choice

New Year’s Plans? I don’t plan to live that long

Would you agree that Sex and The City is the best show ever? no way, I didn’t even care enough to watch one episode of it

Do you call your friends with red hair “ranga’s”? wtf

Have you ever been surfing? me? surfing? r u kidding?

Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? excuse me, I’m into women exclusively

Name a thing in your room that other probably don’t have in theirs: me ha!

What’s your best jacket like? comfy :3

What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? nothing 

If you could pull off any hairstyle, what would it look like? I have couple of ideas ;)

What is the worst thing that happened so far today? my failed appointment as I didn’t get any answers nor help for my heart condition and allergies and that was the last attempt, I have no other ways of fixing things to survive next months, my life;s officially over, I only have suffering and fear left, I’m a burden and I want to kill myself sooner than food or cardiac arrest 

Did that ruin your day? it ruined my LIFE

What’s something good you’re looking forward to? sweet relieve of death?...

What’s something that you think is really cute?

*wish it was mine

Describe your feet: eww, why, better not

If you see somebody crying, do you start crying too? depends

How do you like your hoodies? oversized, without kangaroo pocket in front and/or a zipper, yuk

Is having to pee really badly worse than being really thirsty? it is to me at least

Were you a cute baby? I was a red haired potato

Are you talking to anybody right now? online 

How tall are your tallest socks? I kept my rainbow knee high socks but I don’t use them anymore

Are you waiting for a phone call? at night?...

Do you look forward to swimsuit season, or get really nervous? I was skipping swimsuit seasons for over 10 years until this summer - I bought the cheapest and went to stand/walk in the water and sit on a beach despite my insecurities 

If you could live for a year with any foreign family, where would you go? don’t wanna, scary

What do you wish people would pay you to do? browse the internet XD

Do you take good pictures? I try

Should you be doing something else right now? wash my hair, drink water, commit suicide - who knows

Did that question make you nervous? that question made me sad 

Why don’t girls like porn? some enjoy it 

Tell me a memory of this summer: this summer is all about romantic love, illnesses and nostalgy

Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? a waste but still pretty, sorry love, I know you’d be irritated so don’t worry - I will never do smth like that to ya