#but i think jimmy is the favorite child in this family anyway so it makes sense

[genesisvirus]

I don't think she ever stopped abusing max. Honestly she just found other ways. That scheme of masking herself as another person doesn't sound good. Tricking someone like that can leed to some confusing trust issues. Plus, I think Martha is just stopping the abuse for Jimmy and only Jimmy. Hope is still left behind.

actually talking about it with a firend + rest of teh system, we're kinda leaning towards the short being scripted in-universe. it'd make sense since max is caonically a youtuber in the shorts too, not to mention some shorts are a bit. out there. like why was angus even in their house throwing away brocolli to begin with lmao

so, going basd off of after the generational trauma short came out, since we don't have an idea about timeline anyway, she's still shown a bit of a streak that's. clueless at best. if that makes sense.

-feeding her entire family strictly brocolli, which isn't at all a balanced diet OR substantial enough of a meal for her kids. also feeding the cat brocoli? literally does nothing for them, she's so lucky it's a demon cat but fr don't just feed your cat nothing but broccoli. anyway stop giving your kids unhealthy eating habits it's not like a burger is the end of the world.

-completely ignored one of her sons chasing his friend with a chainsaw, the other torturing another kid, both of which were in rooms RIGHT NEXT TO HERS, and the daughter she neglects using demon powers on a random dude to keep him contained in her room.

-along with that, the description of her blatantly STILL leaves out hope when mentioning her children, meaning she's still getting ignored. honestly i think hope's reaction in the birthday short came from a trauma response atp with how often she gets ignored.

-i completely forgot this part of the short you mentioned but she legit does pull out the belt. over her son THROWING AWAY FOOD. HER COLLEGE SON.

-and ofc her ignoring jimmy beating up max. which, i'm not defending jimmy in regards to that. it's clear he's aware of teh power dynamic going on in how he can get away with doing whatever to max. it was shown in another short too, so this is just an extension of that. the thing is that siblings do fight at times, and it's clear that max and jimmy do have a good relationship - this is just an example of jimmy annoying max more than anything, as he didn't even react all that violently to literally getting pummeled. sure, pushing him off the table was a little dangerous (albeit he shouldn't have been up there anyway) but considering max's track record of losing control of twiddlemax and causing a bigger problem, this is tame.

idk what it's like in belarus, but i think mdp tries to keep his video relatively country-less so that other places can relate and enjoy them more. in which case i don't feel bad for saying this; whipping your children IS abuse. it doesn't teach them anyway, only that you hurt them. not feeding your children properly is also abuse, but i'm hoping those were just one-off incidents. the beating is not only consistent, but it's played fairly accurately, as the generational trauma short shows.

and the sad part is i can't tell if it's INTENTIONAL, or it's a case of some cultural difference happening here, cuz after the generational trauma short and the other PSA shorts, i'm REALLY surprised mdp is still playing the abuse off as a normal thing. i'm hoping it's intentional. i'm HOPING.

[fountainpenguin]

I know realistically Kevin and Dale would never talk to each because of age difference, class difference, Dale's trust issues etc.

But you can't write two socially inept boys with a passion for robotics and not have them interreact once!

Rip. They could have been besties. Maybe in another life.

I have been THINKING SO HARD on Kevin since I realized Dale is into robotics too- I didn't expect canon would just give me a robotics expert back when I tossed Kevin into that role due to cyborg obsession!

My current Cloudlands AU canon is still set up for Kevin designing the robot babysitters we see in "Channel Chasers" (Maybe Vicky bought one and customized it? Unclear)... I'm not sure if that will stay, but I feel like Dale wouldn't be happy about the Vicky design, sldkfj...

I'm not emotionally attached to the "Channel Chasers" future and I wasn't looking forward to rushing the city to be high-tech in 20 years, so if New Wish can ignore flying cars and stuff, I might too. We'll see...

Anyway, Kevin is practically the only kid in the OG series who told us what he wanted to be when he grew up and it was a dentist... and Dale has teeth issues and also likes robots... Hm. Inch resting.

I mean, Kevin IS a Buxaplenty in my lore...

... it's not out of the question for him to toy more with that side of his heritage as he grows older and closer to Remy...

POV: You're Dale sent to meet a Buxaplenty at a convention:

One of my favorite jokes in Cloudlands AU is that Kevin - an estranged Buxaplenty-Crocker child with witch magic that forces him to see ghosts under specific circumstances - has bizarre relationships with random people, but won't elaborate...

Ex: His job shadow with the Grim Reaper (x), his stepfamily (x) who are definitely not vampires (x), Jimmy Neutron's son despite him not being born at that point in the 2D World timeline (x), he's gotten an email from Danny Phantom (x), the Crocker house talks to him (x), he watches soap operas with his uncle's ex (who is a cat) (x), he knows the Burger World Employee & Bob the Boil & Mikey Munroe through Club Redheads Who Didn't Get Mindwiped (x), he's Foop's foster dad (x), he's caretaker for his undead great-uncle who was reborn as an iguana (x), he's still "alive" 150k years in the future (after he's reborn as a crow) and has met people in Foop's teen friend group (x), he lived beneath the same roof as Anti-Sanderson (x)... List goes on. I also like to think he's met Dark Laser's son. Kevin is the only one who ever knows what's going on with his life.

Canonically in my lore, Kevin has laid eyes on Rudy Tabootie from ChalkZone, Diego and Baby Jaguar from Go Diego Go, Chase from Paw Patrol, and he's spoken to Zac from Shimmer and Shine because they were all at the interdimensional Nick show pizza parlor.

It is not out of the question for Kevin to be familiar with Dale, because Dimmadelphia is heavily implied to be a tech empire (Robotics community is big there), they might've attended the same fancy tech university for a year or two, and it totally fits Kevin's gag. It's the Crocker curse of getting in everyone's way...

I'mma be honest, I think Kevin is Dale's type (Struggling under the weight of the world, daddy / mommy / step-daddy / uncle issues, the town has come to expect A Vibe from his family, is "extra" when the setting calls for it, builds awesome robots, makes money in a stable career)... Dale's type is "As easy to understand and low maintenance as possible; bonus points for same interests."

I think Dale just wants to live by himself tbh. He gets along so well with Hadley because she's very independent, also from a wealthy family (Leadlys), travels a lot, doesn't "need" him, and totally gets his need for personal space and clear instructions on how she wants to celebrate holidays and anniversaries. Hadley tells him exactly what to do and Dale says "Bless this low-brainpower relationship I scored. Whatever you say, girlfriend." They definitely spark each other off sometimes, but they're both good at taking time for themselves (and remember they like existing with each other). I think deep down, Dale is glad to have someone helping him manage his stress and bringing in extra income - plus in City Lights AU, he wants Dev to be his heir and needs a basic "let me show you what Daddy does because this will be you someday" connection to him - so those are the things that stop him from living alone. He gets lonely when Hadley's away, but he also likes fewer distractions and not sharing the bed... They get along fine :)

But Kevin sees way too much of himself in Dale (Big and loud to cover the self-deprecation and anxiety) and he's not into that, so he'd pretend to be oblivious if he ever got hit on.

Kevin's vision of Dale is "only puts in emotional energy when it's convenient." You can pry "I adore you even when you hate yourself and will happily cover extra housework when you're exhausted b/c we're a team" Chloe from Kevin's undead talons <3

City Lights AU Dale would not hit on him because he's Daddy's Good Boy and would probably have an anxiety attack if he had One (1) Fantasy outside his marriage, but y'know... In some other universe, the robot-lovers geek out together. Kevdale tag when?

Alt consideration: Hadley has her QPR with Remy and Dale has one with the Crockermichaels... Crockermichaeldome tag when... Yes, It has to be both of them... Do not separate.

Alt consideration II:

I love the Crockermichaels... I love the Cherrylemons... Please talk to me about them.

Secret Bonus Crockermichael Notes

For anyone unware of the ridiculous size difference between Chloe and Kevin's hands, allow me to enlighten you:

And yes... in the Riddleverse, Chloe and Kevin changed their surnames to Crockermichael when they got married. They miss each other when they blink <3

Bonus Pt 2 - Crocker not recognizing grown-up Chloe, but still being nice to her when the employee sends her to ride with him, which is not his usual M.O.... Chloe and her uncle-in-law... They're important to me...

Bonus Pt 3 - Kevin's wedding ring is a tiny dragon!

It's inspired by these drafts I wrote in 2018:

Her fingers skimmed along plastic containers of strawberries, and she picked two up. “Here. One for your place, one for mine.” Kevin eyeballed the price sticker on the sign. “I dunno. They’re out of season. I’ll pass.” Chloe arched her brows. One offended hand flew to her chest. “Sure, it’s a premium price right now, but what could be more rewarding than maintaining a healthy body every month of the year?” “Your engagement ring, I hope.” Chloe considered this, then set one box down. “It better have a strawberry engraved on it.” “Actually, I was thinking I’d get this neat silver one that looks like a little robot wrapped around your finger.”

&

Chloe bounced on her heels. “I look forward to welcoming all aspects of my pregnancy, even the ones which are, tragically, so often seen as negative.” Molly tapped her nails against her mug. “Let me guess. You’ve already got a dozen baby names picked out.” “I am partial to Chloe Junior myself,” she admitted, grinning Kevin’s way. “But Kevin likes Phillip, after the prince from Sleeping Beauty.” “I like dragons,” he called over his hot chocolate. Chloe waved her hand. “I’m not sure about it since it isn’t super gender-neutral. We’re still working things out on that end. Although it would be a very cute name for a girl…” She stared at the loose change in the change jar, lost in thought.

Along the Cherry Lane - WIP

Fun game called "Can you guess which worldbuilding detail Chloe and Kevin don't know about above? :)"

[vague-bisexual-crimes]

Friday - “it is true I wished to escape; and so I wish still; is not this not lawful for all prisoners?”

Angel is putting here parents through it with the back and forth is then isn’t coming home now.

God she hates Mac so much <3

But my hand closes around something else instead. Jimmy’s knife.

I glance to one side at Rowan. He’s spaced out, staring into the air. Holding his guitar like a soldier with a gun against his chest. He looks worse than he has all week. Sometimes I look at Rowan and can’t remember what he used to look like. We were in primary school when we first met. We were placed next to each other in class and told to learn five facts about the person sitting next to you. All I remember about Rowan’s was that his favorite band was Duran Duran. All he remembers about mine was that I’d never broken a bone. He had rimless glasses and short tight curls. His jumper was way too big for him. As soon as we both learned that we each wanted to be in a band, we were best friends. The boy next to me no isn’t anything like that boy. Not bright-eyed and excited to tell me about the new guitar he got for his birthday. Not dragging me to the music block go show me he could play the bass line for a Vaccines song. No laughter. No wonder. We got hay we wanted in the end, though. Didn’t we? We wanted to be in a band. Hang on, hang on, I need a sec oh my god. I’d like to once again say THEYRE BEST FRIENDS!!! CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS!!!!! ALL THEY WANTED WAS TO BE IN A BAND!!!!!!! EVERYTHING THEY EVER WANTED AND IT COULDN’T BE WORSE!!!!!!!!!!! secondly, NO LAUGHTER. NO WONDER.

Thinking about how fast Rowan signs the contract where Jimmy and Lister hesitate. How he knows it’ll be worse, less time to do anything but the band, to see his family, his girlfriend, to have a life, but this is what he’s supposed to do, this is what will make them successful, and eventually it’ll get better.

I think I’m losing it. Going off the wall. Is this why celebrities eventually get addicted to drugs? Because it all gets a bit too much? Sometimes I think about taking drugs. Sometimes I think it might help. When I see Lister smoke and drink, I know it’s bad, but I understand why he does it. It’s so he doesn’t have to think. I hate thinking.

oh Lister :(

“Do you ever imagine what would happen if we just…ran away?” asks Lister suddenly. I glance at him. He’s looking at the window too. […] “I think about it all the time,” I say. RUN!!RUN!!RUN!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lister you can’t be surprised when he climbs out the window you suggested climbing out the window and running away from your responsibilities. Jimmy meant business (is actively having a breakdown)

Do you ever wonder why Lister didn’t just follow Jimmy? Like I get it, he’s freaking out cause he didn’t think Jimmy was serious but man you could’ve just like followed him. Pretty easily.

I need to talk to Juliet. Jimmy will have to wait. I can message him on Twitter later. He’ll probably never see it anyway. Juliet is the priority today. I need to talk to her. I need to repair the mess I made. Nothing good ever comes from Twitter. Also, ANGEL YOU WERE SO CLOSE!!!!! YOU WERE GOING TO CHOOSE JULIET!!!!!

Angel is very enthusiastic about this, for some reason. I thought she’d be annoyed at having to go out of her way to give me back the knife. I didn’t think she’d still be a fan of me after seeing me have a meltdown yesterday. They don’t like seeing you sad.

Another group appear—boys and girls. A woman and her daughter. A group of men in their twenties. I just start posing for selfies. Like it’s a fucking reflex. I can’t just leave. I can’t just say no. I get it, but you actually can and frankly I think you should start being mean to them 🤷‍♀️

Jimmy clinging to the sleeve of Angel’s hoodie like a child. Angel taking care of the main part of the thing that has given her a will to live for the past five years. :(

Jimmy, you’re already taking her to your grandad’s house I don’t think telling her the address is going to give away the location.

Personally I love Angel’s Jimmy’s gonna murder her bit. Jimmy just doesn’t get it

I can’t with Jimmy’s family. I NEED to know about his relationship with his sister desperately.

I go to the front of the pews and sit, and for the first time in weeks, months, I don’t know how long, reach out to God. He’s waiting. He always is. No matter how long I go, no matter how shit it all gets, at least I have one or two things waiting for me. God doesn’t care whether I have one pound or one hundred million. God doesn’t care if I make a mistake, if I fuck yo again and again and again. God asks me, “How are you?” and I just start crying. I try to be white but I can hear my sniffs echoing from the stone walls. God says, “Say something,” and I tell Him that u don’t know what to say, and He says, “Anything you’ve got.” But I just cry some more. God tells me, “Everything that happens is making you stronger,” and I want to believe Him but I can’t. “I love you anyway,” He tells me. At least someone does.

I decide to stop and visit my grandmas grave. The gravestone still looks relatively new compared to the huge old stones around it, despite it being over five years old now. Grandma didn’t see any of this band shit happen to me. For some reason, that makes me glad. Joan :’(

Joan of Arc :(( Joan Ricci :(((( his grandma :(((((((

Piero isn’t buying any of this bs

“You would give your lives for these boys. You cling to them like you’re reaching out to a god. They practically keep you alive. But beneath that, and if you took all that away, you fundamentally do not value yourself.” He sighs. “All your love is given away. You leave nothing for yourself.” “I—I don’t think we’re all like that,” I stammer. “But I think you are,” says Piero, looking directly at me. SHOTS FIRED!!!

“I know he asked you for help,” says Piero, “but the trouble is, while asking for help is always good, it’s impossible to keep relying on others to solve your problems for you. There comes a point where you have to help yourself. Believe in yourself. “Are you talking about Jimmy or are you talking about me?” I say. He smiles and says, “You tell me.”

I’ve done something stupid, coming here. Just to have a little cry on my grandad’s shoulder. My own little pity party. He done something even more stupid, asking some fangirl to come with me, just because people on trains scare me and I thought she was a nice person. But there is one thing I am sure of. One thing I know is the right decision now. Not stupid. Not sad. Not pitiful. I’m freeing myself I’m leaving The Ark. !!! GO JIMMY GO!!!!!!!

[drawthething]

Happy New Year's! What's your favorite episode of BB? Favorite character? Favorite dynamic?

Ahh hi ❤️! Happy new year to you too :D

Favorite episode

Hmm it's so hard trying to just pick one fav ep so maybe top 3 :D? (I'm just gonna apologize if this turns into the longest most annoying post ever)

• Runaway Club: i rewatched this one so so many times it's not funny. The flashback scene, that breakfast club opening parody, the belchers kiddos & cool kids group on their shenanigans, mr frond, mr branca, ms schnur. Just so good all around

• The oeder games: arguably one of bb strongest finales. So many fun characters, Mr Fischoeder being the absolute lovable awful human being, Bob's character shines so much in this (i wish he get to have more focus eps like he used to :/), the classic funny scene between tina, zeke & j-ju, "boy shields" (did i just hear that tiny begrudging "i love you" coming from pesto sr's mouth 👀). The ending is super lovely too

• Ex mach tina: such a good episode? This is one of the rare eps where we get to see more of Jimmy Jr's character outside of his roller coaster of relationship with Tina (affectionate) and it's glorious. His musoems? Fricking masterpieces. The whole ep is hilarious tbh (i mean come on, robot tina, banjo bob? also antibot zeke pffft). Lots of t/jj moments too (yesss), with how similar tina & j-ju kind of are (two walking teenage disasters amirite?) and even though a selfish side of j-ju was shown (a very likely angsty teenage boy's selfishness), i think in the end it's shown that no matter how awkward their relationship can get, they can always have that little underlying friendship to back them on. And the kiss is so cute!

Favourite character

I suppose y'all are pretty familiar with my obnoxious love and adoration for my boy jimmy jr at this point, pffft. He's such a fun and complex character and deserves much more appreciation and exploration than just being part of shipping debate. Sometimes he's angsty, other times he's happy and absolutely living his life. Sometimes he's a jerk, other times he's a sweetpea. Sometimes he's an idiot, other times he's still an idiot. There're these realistic ugly flaws mixed with unique comical traits that makes me super invested in him pffft.

ANYWAY aside from j-ju, i have soft spots for other funky burgers folks too. My fav belcher have gotta be louise. Look at that kiddo, chaotic child trying voo-doos, almost cutting her brother's ear and calling a biker gang to also almost cut a teenager's ear pffft. And yet she sleeps with plushies, cuddles puppies (soft spot for animals eh?) and is super protective when it comes to her family & friends. She has her vulnerabilities and emotional depths too, which balance out her more fierce and feral sides and make her such a fun unique character (now if only the writers can still maintain that perfect balance with less life lessons stuff in the recent seasons :/)

Favorite character dynamic

For the belchers imma go with Bob & Louise. These two has such a sweet relationship that i really love. That heartwarming hawk & chick scene and louise wanting to take over bob's restaurant (oh imagine the shenanigans that will occur that day) just make my heart melt :]

For the non-belcher one, well can you guess :D? Jimmy Jr & Zeke! They are the caricature of bromance, the ultimate friendship achievement! Zeke's so unconditionally supportive and protective of his best friend it's beautiful. Jimmy Jr, despite his occasional issues, also looks up to and appreciates Zeke just as much. I love that they don't shy away from physical affections or compliments towards each other too, so adorable

[a-cloud-for-dreams]

Omg I love this question so much since I've been having thoughts™️ and I love any excuse to ramble

So if anyone knows me by now, they know I love to make unnecessarily overcomplicated backstories that are part of a multiverse instead of sticking with the provided MCs backstory imao. My original theory was that MC's mom died when she was young, and I didn't really think much of it. But after reading this post, I feel there are more interesting ideas to throw out there so ummm pick your favorite?

Died When Rose Was Young: This could have been in childbirth, disease, a vehicular accident of some kind, or maybe something crime-related since "Jimmy" was a cop. In that last scenario, maybe [insert criminal here] was upset and got revenge against Jimmy, and MC survived/was saved, but they couldn't save their mom in time. Highly unlikely, but angsty circumstances. In this case, MC doesn't remember what happened to their mother and their family may have hidden the truth about the nature of her death

Rose's Mom Ran Away: Maybe her family didn't want her to raise a baby, and they told Jimmy's family to raise them instead. I feel like their mother abandoning them would have been brought up, so idk...

Mom Was Deported: I didn't think about the possibility of the mom being deported and that makes me so sad :( i don't know what to elaborate, but I feel like this would have been brought up at some point unless MC was left in the dark on purpose

Here's the one I thought was most interesting because it sort of combines the previous two and is a little dramatic:

Maybe Rose's mom abandoned them after they were born, as in, she just dipped since she didn't want to raise a child (or so they thought). She left, and Jimmy had to raise MC with his family, BUT he didn't want to tell MC that their mom abandoned them. So, he said she died when MC was born (or another kind of fake circumstance), and MC grew up thinking this their entire life.

Now, in Book 3, MC's mom comes back to Uncle Tommy's bar. She exudes a very mysterious energy, and MC is the only person there. They notice that the woman has similar features and then Tommy comes out and is absolutely speechless as in: "[MC's Mom's Name]..."

Exposition etc. etc. and MC has a lot of mixed feelings ofc and now here's where it gets crazy...MC's mom reveals she's a spy, gang...leader(?), or some kind of secretive job where she had to leave so her family would be safe (she would have been in trouble for falling in love with Jimmy, a cop, in the first place). My current favorite scenario would have Kiss of Death vibes where MC's mom fell in love with a cop, and her mafia family finds Jimmy and enacts revenge, kills him to keep the cops away from investigating the criminal underworld Jimmy knows a little too much about, or something else without knowing MC exists. I mean MC had to stay alive right?? Or maybe the mafia member didn't want to kill a child idk

Anyways, Book 3 could be focused on MC finding out the truth of Jimmy's death with all of their allies and resources and stuff. MC's mom comes along and makes it clear she wants to help since she feels guilty for dragging Jimmy and MC in this mess. They start by finding the person who killed Jimmy and fall down a rabbit hole that leads to a surprisingly twisted conclusion...

Also, I'm bringing back Damien Nazario, he's part of the group now somehow idk. How are you going to have an MC who literally is a Private Detective and NOT BRING UP DAMIEN :(

Along with MC's mom being added to the dynamic, we also spend the whole book trying to rebuild their relationship. The end of the book will reveal MC's mom's true intentions (whether MC's mom was there to leech off of her daughter's success, if her story about protecting her daughter was true, etc.). It could even be like other Choices books where the ending depends on the player's choices/detective score

Each of the conflicts of the books slowly escalates. One was a "local-ish killer," the second killer was royalty, so maybe whoever killed Jimmy was a higher-ranking/more powerful individual 🤷🏽‍♀️

I wrote an entire fanfic synopsis for you all you're welcome <3 if you have any questions feel free to ask some of this might be a lil confusing

Detective Rose's Momma?

Pixelberry has been very Pixelberry and given us no backstory on our MC's Mother. I've wanted to create my own HC, but I'm hesitant because now that we know there will be a book 3, it could be ripped to shreds in a matter of seconds. Still... I have ideas, and I'm curious to know what others have dreamt up for Detective Rose's mother's backstory.

My ideas are below the break, but please reblog with your own HC. I'm tagging some CoP fans/creators I know of, but please, anyone is welcome to jump in. I'd love to know your thoughts.

I've toyed with several different HCs. I'm not sure which is the winner at this time lol I will use Carolina since that's my MC's name.

Runaway Mom - Carolina's mother and father were HS sweethearts. Her mother found herself pregnant not long after graduation, thwarting her dreams of attending college and potentially putting a damper on Jaime's (Jimmy - hey, my MC is Latina!) plans of attending the police academy. Her family wasn't very supportive, but the Rose family agreed to help out so Jimmy could still become a cop. But they weren't very supportive of her mother being able to pursue her dreams (a little old-school mentality, a little cultural). After Carolina was born, her mother suffered from post-partum depression. Between that and feeling her life was essentially stolen, she ran away, leaving full custody to Jimmy. Carolina was raised by her dad, her late abuelos, and Uncle Tommy. There would def be more drama in this route (Mom tried to come back once - why didn't Carolina know? Some really angsty stuff). In this scenario - she's still out there... and how could that be woven into the story. It could go different ways: a) She tried to come back after getting therapy and, being protective and fearing losing Carolina (perhaps a buddy recently lost child custody?), Jimmy refuses to allow her to have contact. He says she can see Carolina when she is 18 - if Carolina wants to. Her mother (obviously still unnamed, lol) could be heartbroken but accept it. Or heartbroken but angry and wanting vengeance... Do you see where I"'m going here? Or, b) She walked away and never looked back. But one day, she wants to reach out to Carolina. She contacts the NYPD trying to get in touch with Jimmy, and finds out he died when Carolina was only 13.

2. Dead Mom - Her mother died when she was young. During childbirth - something her father/Tommy always hid from Carolina to protect her from feeling guilty - is my preferred story. Since I don't think I want Carolina & Trystan to have children, this could tie into that story somehow. I also toyed with her dying of an illness when Carolina was very young and that she has little or no recollection of her.

3. Deported Mom - Another thought was her mother was deported when she was a child. Jimmy fought tirelessly to have her returned, but when things looked hopeless, her mother decided to try and build a new life in her homeland (not sure where this will be yet... undeveloped.) When Jimmy learns there is a chance that she will be able to reenter the US, he learns she's moved on with someone else, and they're expecting a child. She tells him to raise Carolina alone.

I don't know what I'll go with - but I'd love to explore this more during the break between Book 2 and 3.

What are your thoughts? What do you think happened to MC's mom in your HC?

Tagging some people - again - anyone can reply!

@storyofmychoices @lilyoffandoms @trappedinfanfiction @inlocusmads @starsarewithinme @moominofthevalley @reveluving @brycesgirl @aces-and-angels @cariantha @coffeeheartaddict2 @custaroonie @kyra75 @alj4890 @shreyamistry @ao719 @a-cloud-for-dreams

[unalivejournal]

u mentioned only reading kripke era fic do you have a reclist 👀👀👀and if not could you link some of ur faves cuz the stuff that gets circulated the most right now is all like late late seasons fic and kripke era is my favorite too but im having trouble finding that many fics for it or even seasons 6-10 era which im fine with also. its just that like. the last five seasons were so bad that it makes fic generally worse too because people have to jump off of just Thee stupidest plot choices no matter how good their prose skills might be. but anyway yea if u have recs that would be awesome :)

hi anon i was thinking abt making a reclist and u just gave me the perfect excuse thank u

jess adamilligan’s kripke era fic recs

from making this ive learned that i never bookmark ANYTHING. sorry all of these r like….. 10k and under. i DO read longer fic but i don’t have any kripke era longfics bookmarked & tbh i prefer short oneshots

season one gen

disclaimer because it’s unfortunately needed: NONE of these are w*ncest! they’re all completely tagged as gen and i did not read them with the intent of consuming ship content.

Coaster Park by fogsrollingin, 10.4k, G, gen

Coaster Park had been experiencing an unusually high frequency of technical difficulties. Dean wouldn't have pulled a shift treating nauseated, heat-stroked, or dehydrated park-goers for that if he could've helped it, but when 'technical difficulties' were accompanied by rumors of things moving and stopping on their own in front of the operators' eyes, Dean had to throw down.

No historical tragedies or disasters in the area, ectoplasm, or EMF. Dean's only lead was a battered-looking kid that'd been coming to the park every day since it'd all started.

really interesting au fic! slightly ‘it’s a terrible life’. dean winchester is a hunter/EMT and sam wesson is a college kid destined to die on a roller coaster ride.

two basic motivating forces by sahwen, 7.8k, T, gen

He can’t cry, it’s not allowed; even as a child he was hushed into silence, whether his tears were from a long car ride or a late night or a raging fever. It’s never been an option, it’s never been an available outlet, and it’s not about to start being one just because he’s having an emotional breakdown on the bathroom floor.

Sam isn't only afraid of clowns.

BIG emetophobia tw (both for graphic depictions of nausea/vomiting and for the fact that this fic is about sam suffering from emetophobia) for this one but it’s my favorite sickfic. portrays anxiety over getting sick really well and is a fascinating examination of the different ways that sam’s fear of loss of control can manifest itself. also has lovely brothers content <3

Let’s Start at the Very Beginning (Remix of Just as Easy as 123) by nwspaprtaxis, 4k, T, gen

Dean’s functionally illiterate and Sam’s determined to remedy it...

PLEASE READ THIS ONE god it’s so sweet. dean never learned how to read properly due to his nomadic childhood and sam teaches him how.

dean/cas

Broadway Musical by Griftings, 9k, M, m/m

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

somewhat of a fandom classic and the humor holds up wonderfully. a very silly fic completed with commentary from angel radio throughout the entire thing.

Sappiest Season by dollsome, 2.7k, G, m/m

In which Dean and Cas have to stop an evil Christmas tree (like you do), and it requires a little fake couple action.

hilarious little s5ish fic. one of the first i read when getting back into spn. i don’t want to spoil anything but this is my favorite pick me up and i still giggle randomly whenever i think about it

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by tuesday

Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this.

another fandom classic. ik this one is recced a lot but how could i NOT include it. dean and cas get married (mostly by accident) and they’re huge cunts about it

the one thing in the galaxy god didn't have his eyes on by prufrock, 2.4k, T, gen + m/m

“Wait,” Dean says. “Let me get this right. You can fly, right—you can teleport—but you can’t drive a car?”

or, after the events of S5E03 "Free to Be You and Me," Dean teaches Cas to drive. Cas finds it stressful

im always a sucker for a good ftbyam fic. also i can’t drive so. resonation

So Says The Sword by komodobits, 85k, E, m/m

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

NO introduction neede. i think everyone on spntumblr has read this already but still. if you haven’t then i am demanding that you read it NOW. tbh i’m just adding this one so that i have at least one long fic here 😭

the weight by @myaimistrue, 3.5k, T, gen + m/m

���Do you…” Bobby sighs. “Listen, Dean, do you have something you wanna tell me?”

It’s the conversational equivalent of being punched in the stomach.

Or, Dean works through some things with Bobby's help.

WHEN I SAW THE USERNAME I GASPED I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS U. anyway i Love coming out fics idk why i just do. the world is ending and dean comes out to bobby

canticles by 2street2car, 10.3k, T, m/m

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”

feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

another ftbyam fic that skepticalfrog (i believe?) recommended a while back. made me feel at least 28 new emotions

Epilogue by JayneL, 28k, E, m/m

Bobby is here, swearing somewhere above and behind him; and Dean is here, talking about 2014 like it's a foreign country; and Sam is here, and is not Lucifer. Which means-- Bobby is here, swearing somewhere above and behind him; and Dean is here, talking about 2014 like it's a foreign country; and Sam is here, and is not Lucifer. Which means--

Cas is no longer when he was. Lucifer sent him back.

Coda to 'The End'.

2014 cas gets sent back to 2009, feelings ensue etc. i don’t remember all the details of this one bc it’s been a while but it’s really good

bonus

currently reading

Fragile As We Lie by perilously, 11k, E, f/f

Dragging Bela Talbot out of perdition isn't so much a decision as it is a frantic choice based on gut instinct. Her soul is bright, if fractured, and Anna yearns to do good again after the perversion of free will that immediately preceded her death.

Bela's no ordinary human, though; she's prickly and damaged and beautiful, and Anna doesn't want to leave her side. So maybe they can figure out how to navigate post-resurrection, post-Apocalypse-that-wasn't Earth together.

[prismadog]

Found Family AU: Gold [Emptober 3rd]

so, originally before actually writing the post below, I had only a couple different ideas that would've been crammed into one story (somehow). but...it's gone a completely different way than I originally intended - which is a good thing! I like the way it turned out!

but...it's also a lot longer than I planned so...gonna have to add a keep reading line thing so that the post doesn't take up a lot of room on the scrolly dash thingy.

anyway, enjoy! I'm tired now so I'm gonna go take a nap

-

Gold

what is gold to you?

to Xornoth, resident demon of the server and father of a wild gnome, gold holds more than one use.

gold used to be the color of the Gods, of Aeor specifically, and it used to be the color of jewelry worn by the elves, worn by themself in another life. elves would not only drape themselves in the substance but gift it to those they loved dearly.

now, gold is the color of their gnome's eyes, the way they glitter in the light. gold is warmth and happiness, and the love she shows them, gives to them unconditionally. without her, they would surely perish.

-

what is gold to you?

to Shrub, little gnome and child of a demon, gold is only one thing and it is love and protection.

her father, the creature who found her and cared for her when others would not, gifted her a ring, a golden ring. they imbued it with magic in its creation and they practically drowned the ring with the love in their heart. they enchanted it with all kinds of protection - health and strength and fire resistance and others she doesn't even know about.

gold is love. gold is protection. without the demon, without her father, she wouldn't have been able to survive the merciless world around her.

-

what is gold to you?

to Scott, elfking of Rivendell and follower of Aeor, gold has only a couple of uses, a couple of meanings, one religious and one personal.

gold is the conduit of Aeor's magic, it is a sign of the Stag God's protection, it is a testament to Him from his followers. elves wear gold not only as a statement to their class but as a sign that they love their God. the elves gift it to those they hold near and dear to their hearts.

but gold holds another meaning to the elf. it is the color of someone he dreams about: the messy locks on his head, his smile hidden behind a mask, the happiness he brings to those around him. it is the color of his aura, golden waves that outshine the sun.

-

what is gold to you?

to Joey, the King of the Lost Empire, to the man who wants to rule over all the other kingdoms, gold only means one thing and one thing only.

gold is power. it is the power to outlive those around him, below him. it is strength and might, intelligence and perfection. gold is the totems of Undying he holds in his hands, it is a material imbued with ancient magics by long-dead ancestors and cast into a form. it prolongs life and keeps one from truly dying.

gold is power. when he dreams of his future, when he imagines standing above the other rulers, he is golden. he radiates power and might, strength and intelligence, he is above them, he is better than them.

that is what gold is to the Mad King.

-

what is gold to you?

to Sausage, the Dwarf King of borrowed magics, gold can only mean one thing and that is friendship, and maybe one day love?

it is the color of her aura, the radiant smile she gives him. it is the color of the sunflowers, never wilting, never fading, that sit in a crown upon her head.

she is golden, brighter than the sun and more beautiful than anything he's ever seen. when she's near, he feels lighter than air, he feels blessed.

if only he could tell her how he feels.

-

what is gold to you?

to Pearl, Guardian of the Harvest, farmer Queen of Smallholding, it is but a simple thing.

gold is the sunlight streaming down from the heavens to warm her crops. gold is the wheat that she plants and cultivates for all around her. gold is the sunflowers that dot her land. gold is the color of a duck's feathers, glistening in the sunlight after their morning swim.

gold is Life, plain and simple.

-

what is gold to you?

to Katherine, Queen of the Flower Fields, Guardian of the Overgrown, it is beauty in its purest form.

gold is the love she holds for her friends, her people, her allies. it is the color of the sunflowers that stand tall, the color of the dandelions that grow wild and free. gold is the sunlight that gives life to her flowers, to her land, to her people. gold is half the color of her bees, bumbling away happily and making honey.

gold is beautiful.

-

what is gold to you?

to Pixlriffs, the Copper King, the Prophet of Lady Death, there is religious meaning and another more abstract.

gold is the color of one's soul, it is the color of their spirit, provided they lived a decent life and not one of moral sin. a man's soul is born pure, more brilliant than the sun above, and it stays relatively the same until Lady Death claims them as Her own - at least, so long as they don't give themselves up to the darkness that wishes to corrupt.

but gold, it can also be the goods that bees produce, the color of their homes. they meticulously make combs in their hives and they diligently fill the comb with glistening, dripping honey. the color of honey is perhaps Pixl's favorite.

-

what is gold to you?

to Gem, Wizard of the Crystal Cliffs, gold is only one thing.

gold is magic, plain and simple. it's not the color of her magic, her's is a glittering sparkling iridescent purple. but it is the color of those around her, their auras, the magic they wield, that lives in their veins.

it's a beautiful color, the golden magic.

-

what is gold to you?

to fWhip, Count of the Grimlands, mad tinkerer and alchemist, gold is something different.

gold is the flames of his forge, burning hot and long. it freely melts his resources and casts them in a form stronger than before. gold is the heat that keeps his lands, his home, scorching, blazing hot.

gold is the sun, the eternal flame, in his forge, in his heart, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

-

what is gold to you?

to Jimmy, Codfather of the Swamps, simple man living a simple life, it doesn't mean a whole lot.

gold is a resource, a material that others use. he himself doesn't really have a use for it, it's meaningless to him. but, that's not entirely true, is it? there is one thing that he thinks of when he imagines gold.

and it is the color of another being, a powerful fearless ruler that sits high above the world in his mountains. it is the air around this ruler, the life he breathes, the color of his jewelry he drapes over his body.

he is gold and far more valuable than a simple mer.

-

what is gold to you?

to Lizzie, Queen of the Ocean, fearless Lady of the Sea, gold is simple.

gold is the color of the axolotls in her care, not all of them of course, but a good share. it is the way they look at her, to her, for guidance. their smooth skin practically glows like the sun in the darkness that is the ocean.

gold is also the color of the coral, again, not all the coral, but a good amount of it. it dots the Oceans, a beacon in the blue, bright and unwavering in its brilliance.

she likes the gold on the axolotls most.

-

what is gold to you?

to Joel, King of clones, bringer of Life to the harsh land that is the mesa, it's got only one meaning, one use.

gold is a building material, nothing more, nothing less. it can be the resource itself, looking like a melted butter stick when mined. or it could be the concrete he makes in his factory.

either way, gold is only a material meant for building, for accents. plain and simple.

-

what is gold to you?

[alottanothing]

Kismet

Summary: Evie prepares a meal for the stranger who helped her and finds herself more than a little smitten.

Previous Part: Hope

Word Count: 5707

Warnings: Language

Tag List: @ramilicious, @txmel, @edteche2, @gloriousdarkangelsworld, @diasimar, @xmxisxforxmaybe (Let me know if I missed you, or if you would like to be added to the tag list)

A/N: Okay, I almost didn't get this up today because I was up most of the night sewing kilts for Highland Weekend at the Ohio Renfiare. BUT I stayed awake and did my final read-through, so this should be mostly okay. I skipped a couple steps in my editing to get this up on time but I think, for the most part, it's okay. If you see a grammatical booboo, just ignore it, I'll get in here sometime this week with my other two editing steps and find it, then repost this. Capisce? Okay, cool...now. I hope you enjoy it, I also hope my trying to phonetically write Mer's accent doesn't get too annoying. I know you really shouldn't write accents, but I think it helps add to the characters. And I do try to keep it to a minimum so it doesn't get annoying. Thanks for the love the first part received last month! I know waiting so long between updates is a bit sad after weekly updates with LtR. But life is busy right now and once a month is all can guarantee.

Jonny did not know how to keep a house.

In fact, Jonny did not know how to do much more than drink, argue, and get into fights. He was nothing but a thorn in Evie's side—never mind how much she needed him for a place to lay her head. A necessary thorn was still a thorn. Given the opportunity, she would rip it out as soon as she could and dress the wound promptly so she was finally able to heal better. She stayed only because she had no other choice. And every time Jonny raised his voice or stumbled in reeking of alcohol and red-faced, Evie could hear her best friend's warning in her head. Cynthia had begged her not to go with him, but she hadn't listened.

Oh, how she wished she had.

Luckily, Jonny wasn't the kind of man who liked to stay home which eased the ache of the ever-present thorn in her side. Whatever money he did have, he spent out on the town—the town being New Orleans. Like Evie, Jonny had been born and raised in the Big Apple, the noise and the chaos was part of him. As such, he hadn't taken to the quiet suburban life Bridge City offered as well as Evie. She liked the quiet, easy flow of the sleepy town. Her housemate loathed his new home. He thrived in disarray, thus, he found a group of like-minded young men to run amok with in the neighboring metropolis every chance he got.

If Jonny had been any sort of amicable company, the notion of him leaving most every night to wreak havoc several miles away would have been upsetting. Thankfully, his penchant for city life meant a good portion of Evie's days were spent out from under Jonny's tyranny. The hours he was gone were blissful and calm, and she relished in them. Whether she was creating art or tending to chores around the old house, Evie didn't care as long as Jonny wasn't there—never mind how lonely the routine often was.

Evie had never gotten the chance to meet Jonny's maternal grandmother, though she suspected she would have liked to. Unlike her grandson, she seemed like any other sweet elderly woman judging by the furnishings she'd left behind. There were dozens of lace doilies, and table cloths with soft patterns, decretive china even, but it was the plethora of photos the old woman kept that told Evie she'd carried a kindly heart. All of them were kept in pristine albums or intricate frames; they were the only barbles that seemed to have been cleaned or dusted with any regularity which spoke of how much she must have treasured them. Evie loved those tiny trinkets and black and white memories. It didn't matter that they were not her legacy of family heirlooms to keep, she adored them anyway.

She couldn't count the number of times she'd replaced a broken frame that had fallen victim to Jonny's drunken belligerence or scrubbed tirelessly at a stain he'd left on the patterned tablecloths. It proved to be a hefty undertaking, but dwelling in the fantasies of someone else's history let her forget the grief of her own. She was willing to sacrifice a little elbow grease if it allowed her mind to roam away from the shadow that never really seemed to vanish.

For all the effort Evie put in on the interior, the cottage held little in the way of curb appeal. The porch was sunken in the middle, the paint was peeling off in chunks, and the yard was mostly weeds. Worst, however, was the screen door which squeaked so loudly, every dog in the neighborhood howled in protest every time someone crossed the threshold. The outside needed love that Evie simply didn't have the energy to lend. Despite the grit, however, the foundations were sturdy enough that she didn't worry. The cottage proved to be stronger than she looked—a feat Evie felt she had in common with the old house. And while it was a swell enough place to rest her head, it never truly felt like home. Home was somewhere safe, and as long as Jonny lived under that roof she wasn't safe. Not really.

Fortunately, Jonny wasn't home when Evie returned after her run-in with Mr. Shelton—Mer, she corrected herself with a hint of a giddy smile. Without her housemate there, her evening promised to be hopeful instead of lonely, and she wasted no time in figuring out what to make for dinner.

With her red pumps replaced by her worn-in slippers and her blue checkered apron secured around her waist, she set a pot of water to boil and dialed the phone conveniently located in the kitchen. Every evening she called her sister-in-law to pass the time and keep up on unimportant gossip back home; this time, however, Evie was excited to finally have some good news to share.

"You got the job, didn't you?" Cynthia Clarke asked on the other end, sounding hopeful. "I knew you would."

Evie grinned, still amazed how the sound of Cyn's voice always seemed to settle some of the ever-present anxieties buzzing in her head. She missed her friend so much.

"I didn't even say yes."

"Did you or did you not get the job?" Cynthia pressed.

"I did," Evie confirmed and her smile grew hearing her friend cheer on the other end of the phone.

"See! I knew it." Cynthia said. "My gut feeling is always right."

Evie rolled her eyes and shook her head fondly.

"I think I'm gonna like working there too, so that's good." she mused as she stood at the stove, eyeing the pot of water she’d set to boil.

"That's so great, Ev. I'm so proud of you." Cynthia paused before continuing. "So, what are you up to tonight? Avoiding Jonny?"

"Sorta," Evie nodded even though she knew her friend wouldn't see.

As she continued to watch her cooking pot of water she told Cynthia all about her trouble with Jonny's car and the man who'd been so kind to help her.

"Wait. You invited the stranger over who fixed the car?" Concern was heavy in Cyn's voice, and Evie half expected a lecture to follow.

Despite knowing each other since childhood, Cynthia had taken on the role of her protector since Evie's family was no longer in the picture. The war had claimed Evie's father, and brother—although they'd never found her brother, Jimmy after he disappeared behind enemy lines. Evie never lost hope that Jimmy would one day be found, Cynthia though, was certain her husband was never coming home. After Cyn’s brother, Charlie, died at Normandy Cynthia had difficulty believing anyone was going to make it home. As for Evie's mother, losing a child and her husband to the war was too much for her tender heart and she passed not long after. Ever since, Cynthia was overcome with the need to act as Evie's guardian.

"He wouldn't let me pay him," Evie explained. "So I'm making him dinner—it seemed like the least I could do."

"I suppose…." Cynthia didn't sound convinced, if anything she sounded slightly irritated there was no quick way for her to argue the logic. "Just be careful, Evie. You don't know this guy—he could be another Jonny Doyle. Or worse."

"He's not," Evie said quickly. She wanted nothing more than to tell her friend all about how benevolent Mer was, but she decided against it. Cynthia would only argue that point somehow.

A long pause followed, and Evie wedged the receiver between her ear and shoulder so her hands were free to work on the meal.

"So, what are you cooking?" This time, there was a hint of jest in her friend's tone when she spoke.

The art of cooking was one creative outlet that Evie struggled with, second only to music. In her youth, her mother did all the cooking—it was a passion of her mother's—thus Evie had done little more than watch in wonder as her mother whipped up meal after meal effortlessly. Breakfast she the meal she was probably best at, apple pies too, but anything beyond that Evie required a step by step guide to prepare. And even then she lacked confidence. Thankfully, when she'd fled south, she remembered to grab her mother's cookbook. It was a cumbersome tome with yellowed pages and notes scribbled into the margins: a piece of art itself cultivated over years of collecting recipe after recipe starting the moment her mother stepped off the boat that brought her from Ireland. And like a witch and her spellbook, Evie depended on it.

"Spaghetti with garlic bread," Evie admitted feeling as though the meal lacked a certain something.

Pasta was something she knew held a low degree of difficulty when it came to preparing. Surely she couldn't mess up pasta.

“Mmm, I can almost smell it,” Cynthia said.

“Shut up.”

“No, seriously,” Cyn replied. “You’re mom’s spaghetti recipe was always my favorite.”

A doleful smile pulled at the corners of her lips, thinking back to her mother happily cooking in the kitchen as she sang a Celtic tune. It seemed strange that those moments would never again play out, instead they’d become bittersweet memories Evie could only relive in her mind.

“Mine too,” she murmured, suddenly missing her family.

Neither of them said anything for a moment, and Evie’s mind roamed the dregs of her grief before blinking back into reality and the hope of something happy to come.

“I need to go, Cyn,” Evie told her friend with a sigh. “I don’t want to burn the garlic bread.”

Cynthia chuckled and said her goodbye, only after making Evie promise to call her in the morning to let her know how everything went.

With her second hand restored after hanging up, Evelyn reached for her mother’s cookbook to give the steps another look over to ensure she had done everything and added every herb and ingredient she was supposed to. She’d followed everything perfectly, even factoring in the little notes scribbled into the margins left there by her mother—those she smiled at fondly and traced the fading ink with her fingers. Everything was as it should be. Even so, without a taste, Evie knew the sauce she had prepared would never be as savory as what her mother made so effortlessly.

“You were the artist in the kitchen, Ma,” she said with a shrug. “I’ll stick to paper and canvas.”

For the smallest of a moment Evie thought she would hear the warmth of her mother’s laugh, and when it never came she sighed again, trying not to dwell on the shadows behind her. What mattered was the light ahead.

Despite her lack of confidence, the meal came together without any severe hiccups. The noodles were not overcooked, the sauce was a complementing mix of savory and sweet (though, as she had guessed after a tiny taste, was not nearly as good as her mother's) and the garlic bread was nicely golden. A small tingle of pride manifested in the form of a surprised, but satisfied, smile as she surveyed the dinner before her.

“Not bad, Ev,” she told herself, knowing her mother would have been delighted.

With the cooking done, Evie threw a glance over her shoulder to the clock mounted on the wall, triggering a surge of anxiety to bubble in her gut. Stranger, perhaps, was the amount of excitement coursing through her veins. It was as though all of her happiness was riding on whether or not she would see Merriell again. None of it made sense; the man was little more than a stranger. The coupling of nerves and delight was not a feeling that put her ill at ease, however. She trusted it. And it was that peculiar sensation that seemed to fuel her movements.

With a few minutes to spare, Evie wandered into the small bathroom to freshen up. She made sure her hair was still pinned the way she liked—up and pretty. Her make-up was holding up nicely despite the heat; all she needed was a fresh layer of lipstick to complete the illusion of a put-together young lady. It wasn't often she wore a dress with heels and a face of cosmetics—she liked to when the opportunity arose, but she was just as comfortable in a pair of old overalls and smudges of charcoal on her face.

Just as she wiggled back into her red pumps—discarding her worn-in house slippers with a couple of calculated kicks—a knock on the door signaled Merriells arrival. Immediately a grin curled onto Evie's lips and her heart began to pound an anxious-excited rhythm. A blush threatened to color her cheeks to give away the torrid muscle beating in her chest—her ever yearning heart already making leaps and bounds for a man she had known for mere hours.

Don't be ridiculous—she warned herself taking in a deep breath to curb the eagerness coursing in her veins. Untying her apron, she tossed it along with her discarded slippers and went to answer the door, taking one last deep breath to steady the fervor in her heart.

Merriell had changed and showered. The sweet bouquet of his shampoo coupled invitingly with the musk of the aftershave he'd chosen, making it difficult for Evie to keep from soaking in the scent he carried. His curls were still somewhat damp—too much moisture in the air to keep the heat from drying them on his way over—though they fought to spring back into their previous fluff. The grease-covered, jeans he'd been wearing had been replaced by a nice pair of tan slacks, and the buttoned shirt he wore was a soft shade of green that made his eyes glitter a deeper emerald as he stood under the glow of the porch light. All Evie could do was stare—utterly beguiled—every rational thought in her head lost to her.

Mer smirked, amused by her ogling. "Hiya."

Evie blinked, coming back to reality, suddenly feeling foolish, and uttered a nervous "hi" before swinging her arm to invite him inside.

"Come in."

Merriell's smile grew as he crossed the threshold, inhaling deeply. "Mm, smells tasty in here."

He gently forced a bottle into her hands as he passed on his way to investigate the savory smells in the kitchen.

"I wasn' sho what ya was makin', but I figured wine usually goes with anythin'."

"Oh, thank you." Evie glanced at the label, unable to read the French words printed there. "You didn't have to bring anything."

"I know," Mer shrugged, placing his hands in his pockets. "I just wanted to make a good impression."

There was something almost boyish when he smiled then—cheeks coloring pink ever-so-slightly—that made him even more of a mystery. One Evie was eager to solve.

"Well," she said placing the bottle on the kitchen table. "It should go perfectly with dinner."

His expression lost a hint of its boyish charm as it grew into a look of delight.

"Make yourself at home," Evie gestured vaguely between the table and the sofa in the living room as she ventured to the cabinet where the stemware was kept.

She placed two crystal glasses on the table along with the wine and retraced her steps to fetch some of the nicer china Jonny's grandmother had kept. Mer watched her, his gaze, gentle and attentive, and a little bit yearning as she methodically sat the table.

"Need help with anythin'?" he asked finally.

"Nope," She replied with a smile. "Everything is almost ready."

The hearty red sauce on the stove was beginning to boil again which told her it was hot enough to serve, and Evie eyed the pot with scrutiny, praying silently her attempt at cooking would go over well.

"I'll pour us a glass then," Mer announced.

"Great, lemme…" Evie spun to fish for the corkscrew in the drawer of misfit utensils, finding it, only to turn to see Merriell holding his lighter against the neck of the dark bottle just below the cork.

Before she could ask, a loud pop sounded, causing her to jump as the cork went flying.

"Oh my goodness!" she laughed, a little surprised, a little impressed. "Where did you learn to do that?"

Mer shrugged, a sly expression on his features, and left her question unanswered.

"How much ya want?" He held the open bottle over the top of her glass, waiting patiently.

"Enough," she said, tossing him a coy smirk without really meaning to.

He bit his lower lip as he smiled, chuckling under his breath when he poured a generous glass of red wine for each of them. She thanked him as he took his seat and grabbed his plate to dish out their dinner.

"How much pasta would you like?"

Mer's face lit with charm and mischief as he turned to face her.

"Enough," he grinned.

The expression on his face was playful, his smirk devious and amused by his own response and his cheekiness settled warmly in Evie's stomach. Not only did she revel in it, but she also played into his whimsy and scooped as much spaghetti into his plate as she could before coupling it with the savory sauce and a slice of bread.

Despite being only strangers, the atmosphere that bloomed that evening was not marked by any hint of bashfulness, instead, it was relaxed and amiable. Warmth that Evie had longed to dwell in again—that unrefutable kindness she'd lost with the passing of her family—flowed uninhibited from the man sitting adjacent to her. His conversation was cautious but still jovial and genuine. It was the first time since running south Evie could recall what life felt like without grief and fear weighing upon her. Merriell was a stranger, but she felt safe with him. Jonny had never made her feel that way.

"So," Evie spoke as she twirled the last bit of pasta with her fork. "What is it you do, Mr. Shelton?"

Mer cast her a look of disapproval—no doubt in retaliation to being addressed so formally—before his features softened back into a neutral, yet somehow still amused side smirk.

"Nothin' too excitin'," he stated vaguely. "The odd jobs are what I like ta do the most—like fixin' ya car this aftah noon."

Without really meaning to, Evie leaned forward, resting her elbow and chin on the table, utterly enchanted by the beautiful stranger at her table.

"You like to get your hands dirty, huh? Fixing things?" she was entirely too intrigued with the thought of what he could do with his hands.

He shrugged, suddenly modest after a foray of playfully arrogant smirks and glances. It made him abruptly twice as charming.

"I've always had a knack for it, I guess." Merriell finished the food on his plate with the help of his remaining garlic bread to mop up the sauce still left on his dish.

"What about you?" he asked after chewing. "Ya workin' anywhere?"

All at once, a proud smile lit up Evie's face. After all the excitement of seeing Merriell again, she'd almost forgotten about her good news.

"Actually, I just got a job today—the general store downtown, Southern Comfort."

Mer's face lit up too, "Birdie's place?"

"Yeah, you know it?" Of course, he knows it! She thought, Bridge City's population was slightly less than the number of people who lived in a single district back home in New York. Everyone knew everyone else.

"Sho do—I was practically raised there…ole Birdie's like a second mothah to me."

"Really?" Evie found a great deal of comfort in that notion. In fact the more she thought on it, the more she realized how similar the old woman and Mer were; they radiated the same magnetism and sincerity.

"Mmhm," he nodded, his eyes focusing elsewhere as the veil of memories danced across the contours of his features. "My mama used ta work there…once upon a time…"

"Does she still work there?"

Merriell's face lost a hit of its levity and he swallowed as though to fight off the onslaught of sudden emotion threatening to cast a shadow onto his expression.

"No…" he said softly. "She—uh—she died, about a year ago."

Shit!

Abruptly, sick knots twisted into Evie's stomach, feeling callous, but understanding of the quiet misery he hid under layers of charm and arrogance.

"Merriell, I'm…I'm sorry—I didn't mean…"

He met her eyes and cast her a quick smile—doleful, but enough to ease the awful feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"It's okay," he reassured her, reaching for his glass of wine and taking a good gulp before changing the subject. "Birdie's great—you'll enjoy workin' for her."

"I hope so…" Evie said softly, still too embarrassed to meet Mer's glance longer than a second or two.

For the first time all night the atmosphere they shared felt cumbersome—perhaps more melancholy—than she'd wanted it to get. Evie sat, worrying her bottom lip, her fingers toying with a loose thread in the table cloth as she stole quick glances through her lashes in Mer's direction.

He was nursing the alcohol in his glass with the same sadness she'd caught plaguing him as he sat at the bar hours ago. And while Evie was eager to know if his grief stemmed only from the loss of his mother, or perhaps more, Merriell was still too much of a stranger to warrant such questions. It didn't matter how easy it was to be near him, she had not earned the right to know his narrative.

A soft sigh broke past her lips as she fought to find a way to properly allay the gloom that was quickly ruining an otherwise wonderful evening. It wasn't until her eyes found their desert sitting on the counter, waiting to save the day, that she perked up.

"Got any room for apple pie?" Evie asked with a hesitant smile. She hoped he wanted to stay long enough to have a slice, though she would not have blamed him for wanting to leave.

Immediately Mer perked up too, the shadows on his features retreating with the promise of something sweet.

"I was countin' on it—seems as how you promised a slice earlier," he said with a boyish grin.

When she stood, he did too, helping clear away their dinner plates, and letting them soak in the sink to be washed later. Evie cut them each a slice of apple pie and the delight on Mer’s face made her smile too seeing him lick his lips as his grin continued to grow. Catching that flash of his tongue was like a bolt of hot lightning striking her without warning; a blush rose so quickly on her cheeks Evie had to look away to keep the blunder a secret. Thankfully, the pie was more than enough to hold Merriell’s attention away from her.

“Mmmm… Almost looks too good to eat,” he said ogling the desert in front of him.

When Evie chanced a look his way, the expression on his face caused her to chuckle, “‘oughta be, I made one for my pa every year for his birthday since I was nine. It’s probably the only thing I have any confidence in making in the kitchen.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Mer quipped as he loaded his fork with as much pie as he could.

The moment he took a bite, his brows creased, and eyes closed as he chewed painfully slow. Those few seconds were like agony. Evie’s heart was pounding in her chest with so much anticipation she feared she might faint as she watched him sample the only thing she could actually make that was worth a damn.

“Fuck me, if that ain’t the best apple pie I’ve evah had the pleasure of tasting.”

A somewhat nervous, but relieved chuckle sounded in the back of Evelyn’s throat as she watched Merriell shovel a larger bite of pie into his mouth.

“Mmm… Yep. God damn delightful.”

“Stop,” Evie said sheepishly, suddenly afraid he was overselling his reaction to keep from hurting her feelings.

“No,” he wiped his mouth and leaned across the table to meet her gaze with a sincere expression that stole away all the doubt writhing in her stomach.

“I mean it. If I wasn’t so full of pasta, I’d eat that whole damn pie right now.”

“Well,” Evie grinned softly, trying not to let her blush color her cheeks too obviously. “Thank you. And you’re welcome to take the rest of it when you go.”

Excitement took form on his face with a smirk that was sweet but roguish all at once—a sort of debonair charm that amplified his magnetism—as if his bright eyes dark curls and razor-sharp jaw did not make him alluring enough already. Again she had to look away knowing the pink in her cheeks would be too strong to combat.

“Imma have ta take ya up on that offah. An’ I’ll be thinkin’ ‘bout you every time I cut me a slice.”

That blush was unstoppable; her heart was suddenly so smitten, it felt as though butterflies were fluttering merrily in her stomach. She felt weightless with warmth and hope swelling in her bosom, fearing any slight breeze would carry her off. It was ridiculous how at ease Evie felt sitting there eating pie with a complete stranger. The conversation had been easy all night; even when it had delved into less savory topics he still made her feel comfortable. Evelyn had forgotten what it was like to be in the company of a man who wasn’t easy to anger, who was genuine and kind and wanted only to live in the moment.

For a time the whimsy of the atmosphere faded as the warmth in her heart ached, suddenly missing her brother James and Cynthia's brother Charlie. Both of them were good men, kind and genuine—like Merriell—but they had been swallowed by the rages of war. Brave young men were lost forever, while a man like Jonny Doyle was still alive How was that fair?

No matter how pleasant her thoughts could be, they always fell back to the grief that plagued her. She sighed, deeply, pushing those intrusive memories back into the depths of her mind so she could find joy once more in the moment with a kind stranger.

When Merrill finished his plate he made a beeline for the sink full of soaking dishes.

“Oh, no,” she said jumping to her feet. “I can do those.”

Merriell, however, shook his head. “Uh-uh, you did the cookin’, I can do the cleanin’.”

When Evie tried to argue, Mer simply shook his head, his grin amused but determined as he kept scrubbing the dirty dishes.

“Let me help at least,” she suggested. “I’ll dry and put them away.”

Before he could protest, she snatched the freshly rinsed dish from his hand and began wiping away the droplets of water clinging to the porcelain surface, throwing him a smug smirk that made him chuckle.

“Alright,“ he smirked.

She watched him for a moment not really paying attention to her task as he scrubbed the old plates clean, overcome with a blissful vision of peaceful domesticity. It made her stomach fill to the brim with whimsy and her heart was fluttering again; had this stranger bewitched her already? Or did what she feel bubbling lightly in her gut like a seltzer stem from an end to her loneliness—even if it was only for a few hours? Evelyn didn’t know. Nevertheless, she was intrigued with a profound feeling and she wanted to dwell in it for as long as she could.

Occasionally as he would hand a freshly washed dish her way, his calloused fingertips would brush against her skin, igniting a spark she didn’t know how to react to. It was more than an amicable tingle racing from the tips of her fingers right to her heart. And each time they touched, Merriell would cast her a gentle smile that held nothing more than his inherent charm and magnetism. She wondered if he felt it too, or if her need for companionship was playing a dirty trick on her.

When the dishes were all back in their usual places—the night drawing to a close—Evelyn realized she was not ready to say farewell to her Beautiful Stranger. She longed to stay up all night just chatting with him, she did not care about what, Evelyn only wanted to stay encompassed a while longer in the blissful warmth he brought into her life. Once he was gone, all she would be able to do was stay up and ponder the significance of those little touches and the sparks they brought.

Thankfully, Merriell lingered on the old rickety porch, one hand in his pocket, the other holding onto his plate of leftover pie, seeming to stall their inevitable departure.

“Well,” he said with a grin. “Thank you for invitin’ a stranger ovah for dinna.” He paused, glancing at the leftover pie in his hand. “Can’t recall ever having a better plate of pasta, an’ nothin’ evah gonna beat this pie.”

Evie quickly looked at her feet to hide another blush.

“It was the least I could do,” she told him before looking back to meet his eyes. “You have no idea how much of a savior you were this afternoon…”

A glint of concern flashed in his eye, his brows beginning to crease as his unspoken question lingered between them.

She thought about telling him—telling him how Jonny was nothing more than a throne in her side, and how much she cherished Merriells company—but Mer was still a stranger. It wasn’t right to unload so much onto someone she’d only known for a few hours.

Before Mer could offer any reply, the sound of screeching tires stole all their focus as an old wagon pulled along the curb—narrowly missing a collision with the mailbox. The rowdy passengers were laughing and shouting loud enough even before the door opened to let Jonny stumble out. He staggered on drunk feet and screamed a handful of profanities to his buddies in the car which made them all roar with laughter.

It was only after the wagon full of hooligans pulled away that Jonny began to stagger towards the house, and it was exactly then that Evie’s fluttering heart became consumed with panic.

She and Mer watched him cross the yard, unseen, both frozen: Evie in fear and Merriell in confusion. Jonny’s intoxication level inhibited him from taking notice of them until he was at the base of the steps leading onto the porch. Immediately, his eyes narrowed and he frowned.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Jonny, this is Mr. Merriell Shelton,” Evie said quickly, willing her voice not to shake.

The Doyle’s were not known for their hospitality, nor were they known to trust most people. Especially strangers.

“He helped me this afternoon with a bit of trouble I was having,” she explained vaguely, hoping to thwart any more suspicion. “I made him dinner to say thank you—he’s just about to leave.”

Jonny eyed Merriell, seizing him up as best he could through drunken lenses. Mer stood his ground, eyeing him back with a subtle intensity that never so much as cracked under Jonny’s scrutiny.

Finally, being the better man, Mer held out his hand in a friendly manner, “nice ta meet ya.”

Jonny cast a prolonged glare at Merriell's open hand, his brows furrowed and part of his lip hiked up in a sort of snarl. Instead of returning the kind gesture, Jonny made a show of spitting at his feet before tossing his heavy leer at Evelyn.

"Evie, do not invite any more strangers into my house. I don't care if they are dying." He shoved past them both, purposely bumping Mer's shoulder (most likely in hopes to start something) muttering as he went: "I don't trust any of these filthy southerners."

Shock sent Evie's jaw slack; this time the redness in her cheeks was a symptom of embarrassment instead of infatuation. She should have known Jonny would say something rude and uncouth. Without another thought, she grabbed Mer by his sleeve and pulled him across the lawn until they stood next to his truck parked along the curb.

"I am so sorry about him," she said, crossing her arms and glaring at Jonny's house, ashamed and angry.

Mer shrugged as he placed his partially eaten pie in the passenger seat through the open window before fixing his hands in his front pockets.

"Ya boyfriend's a bit of an asshole."

"He is not my boyfriend," Evie corrected vehemently. "I don't think he knows that though. I'm just staying here until I can figure some things out."

Merriell was quiet a moment, nodding silently. It seemed as though he was taking his time processing the whole situation. There was compassion on his face and behind his eyes, but it was guarded somehow. Evie caught it though and she was grateful when he didn't ask the questions plainly forming in his mind.

"Well," he said finally, his tone light as one corner of his mouth quirked into a grin. "Since he ain't ya othah half, I feel more inclined ta leave ya with this…"

Gently, Merriell caressed her upper arm as he leaned forward to plant a tender kiss on her cheek. He let his lips linger slightly longer than was common for such an act, that all at once wove a new hopefulness into her heart.

"Dinna was swell," he added as he pulled away, his smile somehow more charming than it had been all night. "Hope I see ya again, Evie."

"Me too," she murmured.

Evie watched as he got in his truck to leave, her hand held to the cheek he'd graced with his kiss. And when he drove away, it took everything inside of her to keep from running after him.

[simplyclary]

Ewan McGregor: My Serotonin Booster

[P.S: Upon the time of writing, I have yet to watch most of his films including The Island, Beginners, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, Trainspotting along with some of his series/documentaries including Fargo, Long Way Round and Long Way Up]

I have known many celebrities who has given me happiness these past few years, but it was during quarantine when I needed someone the most. Don’t get me wrong though, many of the people whom I discovered during the start of quarantine still provides me happiness until now, the only difference being that there is a specific someone who really provides me the dose of serotonin that I really hunt and yearn for, that specific someone being Scottish actor Ewan McGregor.

Before I get to the cheesy part (I guess), let me narrate the timeline on how I found my happiness in him.

I first saw him as the debonair bronze candelabra Lumiere who sang the iconic song “Be Our Guest” in 2017’s live-action Beauty and the Beast. I instantly found Lumiere charming and cute in that film and him being head over heels in love for Plumette (played by the gorgeous Gugu Mbatha-Raw) is so cute and adorable, not gonna lie. Also, a moving candelabra singing and dancing in the middle of your dinner table is such a cute visualization, don’t you think?

A year later, Ewan then brought me back to childhood nostalgia through the lens of Christopher Robin, where he played the titular character. Seeing that film for the first time and watching him interact with Pooh, Piglet, Tigger and the other characters in the Hundred-Acre Wood has awakened the child in me. I honestly melt everytime I hear Pooh’s voice (voiced by Jim Cummings) since that voice was what made Pooh one of the cutest bears in the world of cartoons. Also if you observe in the film, there was a scene where he (Christopher) twirled his umbrella like a lightsaber when trying to "kill" a “Heffalump”. That scene kinda made me giggle and also made me think if it was just Ewan’s muscle memory or not.

Fast forward 3 years later to the current year of 2021, I have made a galactic discovery through Star Wars (yes, I know, I’m so late to the rave but hey, better late than never, right?) and through this galactic discovery, I met the sassiest, kindest, strongest and iconic Jedi warrior Obi-Wan Kenobi. I honestly applaud both Ewan and Sir Alec Guinness for their portrayals of the live-action versions of Obi-Wan as well as James Arnold Taylor and Stephen Stanton who voiced Obi-Wan in the animated series The Clone Wars and Rebels.

Now, believe me when I say that I fell in love with the animated Obi-Wan first because of The Clone Wars. Falling in love with the animated version then made me fall for the live-action version which Ewan portrayed flawlessly. It was really obvious in Ewan’s performance as Obi-Wan how much he paid homage to the Obi-Wan of Sir Alec Guinness and I really admired that. Plus, the iconic (and meme-worthy) lines are utterly unforgettable and it made me so happy to hear that he’s coming back as Obi-Wan in his own series on 2022. It was honestly through the character of Obi-Wan where I really started to love Ewan and because of this, I started to dig and binge some of his past and recent work.

Now armed with the yearning to look for and watch more of his movies, I scoured the internet and I found Birds of Prey among the list of his movies. First of all, I was utterly surprised when I found out he was involved in an all-female movie, but I was even more surprised when I found out that he was playing Roman Sionis, a.k.a Black Mask, who is the main villain in the movie. Truth be told, I have a history of loving villainous characters and he was no different. I honestly found him convincing as a villain, egotistical at best and was kind of saddened when he *spoiler alert* died at the end. I was hoping he would come back in a somewhat miraculous way, but I could accept if that’s how his story ends.

After watching Birds of Prey and witnessing him play a villain, I delved into the world of fashion design through the lens of Halston which is a Netflix series about Roy Halston, a famous fashion designer back in the 70s. Ewan played Halston flawlessly, and while some scenes made me cover my eyes because of explicit content, I still enjoyed the show overall not only because of Ewan but because I got to understand what Halston was really like behind the curtain, if you’d like.

Now, I am not the biggest horror movie fan but I faced my fear when I met Doctor Sleep himself, Danny Torrance. Considering that this is the sequel to “The Shining” which is deemed the scariest horror film ever made, I braced myself for it to be horrifying and I would be jumping out of my skin while watching it, and I did in several scenes. I applaud Ewan for playing the grown-up version of Danny and making me understand his story through this film.

After that horror experience, I decided to watch something that speaks to my heart and that is a movie with music, and Moulin Rouge was the perfect one. Now, this movie is highly recommended for every Ewan McGregor fan, because he showcases both his acting chops and his powerful vocals in this movie. I instantly fell in love with the penniless writer Christian, his sweet smile, kind spirit and utter obsession with the idea of love. Also, those songs he sang with Satine (played by the angelic soul that is Nicole Kidman) are automatic auditions to my playlist. Also, that drama at the end when Satine died and Christian was grieving, it made me tear up indeed.

After drama comes more drama, I went into a real-life story and that is The Impossible where he played Henry who is the husband to Maria (played by Naomi Watts) and father to 3 kids, one of them being my favorite Spiderman Tom Holland. Believe me when I say that the movie pulled at my heartstrings, especially after the tsunami hit and the family got separated as well as the scene where Henry (Ewan) was at this one camp and he was speaking on the phone while crying. I really felt the “dad” emotions there, knowing that he is a dad in real-life. This movie, even though you are a fan of Ewan and Tom, is not for the faint of heart.

The latest addition to my list is the knight-in-shining armor that is Elmont from Jack the Giant Slayer. He is a feisty one, let me tell you that. He does not give up easily and boy, does he look hot with that crossbow. Anyways, him as Elmont was a fantastic casting, showcasing the selfless persona of a knight who was willing to protect his kingdom above all else. The mini swordfights in between serve as bonuses.

Please do know that I will be watching more of his work as the days progress, but while writing this, this is all that I have seen.

Finally, I’m done with that lengthy timeline narration and now, onto the chessy-ish part, because it depends on perception if you are willing to think of my love for him as obsession or just dedication.

For the most part, I can’t really describe how happy he makes me. It’s as simple as me hearing him talk in interviews with that lovely Scottish accent of his, hearing him sing covers of songs and seeing his pictures on Pinterest (I have about a hundred of him on a board on the app, along with a few Star Wars characters) and the internet in general or it’s as bizarre as me smiling when I see a photo of him with a silver hoop piercing on his left ear or as scenic (I don’t even know if that’s the right word) as when I see a clip/GIF of him running his hand through his hair. I don’t really know and therefore can’t describe what is this feeling I feel when I see him.

Recently, I’ve been binge-watching his interviews on Graham Norton, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel and other outlets and I can’t help but smile amidst him repeating stories and saying the same spiels and all, there’s just something about his presence that makes me feel happy. I’ve also been listening to his covers of songs and him playing the guitar and I melt. I mean, even with his mundane fashion sense, his charisma just stands out for me. Also, his point of views on career and why he chooses the projects that he does is inspirational. I just love, adore and admire him, amidst all the controversy (which I’m not gonna go deep into because that’s all in the past) that happened.

At the end of the day, all I can takeaway from all of these, is that Ewan really makes me happy. With his expressive blue eyes, charming smile, melodic voice, and sweet personality, he can easily lift up my spirits as high as the galaxies can reach. If only I could tell him all of these, but I would just faint and stutter if I were to see him face-to-face. But seriously, given the chance to speak with him, I would tell him how much he means to me and how much brighter the world is because of him.

I’ll just end this lengthy narration with a line from “Your Song”, which is originally sang by Elton John and Ewan sang it beautifully in Moulin Rouge and is now one of my favorite songs.

“How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world”

[smaidjor]

and i pay for my place by the ring (Chapter 3)

Hey everyone and welcome to the third and likely final chapter of this saga! When I was writing this, I told my friends it might end up the shortest chapter.

Spoiler alert: it was not, in fact, the shortest chapter.

Anyways, thank you guys for sticking with me through this insane journey of angst writing! The story doesn't end here, but the fic does because I think I'm going to be switching how I write it a little bit. You'll see if I ever get the energy to write the continuation.

(Also, I've stopped putting AO3 links in the actual post because then it doesn't show up in the tag.)

Anyways, enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Title: to turn at last to paths that lead home

Chapter Wordcount: 4686

Content warnings: mentions of death, violence, blood, mild injury, religion, self-esteem issues. There is also something that could be considered similar to deadnaming, though the character is not necessarily trans, so read with caution if that could be triggering to you.

Actual fic under the cut:

That night, Scott dreams he’s a child again, playing amongst the peaks with Xornoth by his side. They laugh as they dart out of his reach, and he jumps over a rock to try and catch them.

“Too slow,” Xornoth snickers, and Scott glares at them.

“Someday I’ll be ten times as fast as you, and stronger too!”

They laugh again and tackle him into the grass, forceful enough to push him down but not enough to really hurt. “Alright, little bro.”

“You’re only older by seven minutes!”

“Seven minutes, more like seven times cooler than you!”

Scott reaches up and tickles them, grinning wickedly as they yelp and roll off him.

The scene shifts, and this time it’s a teenaged Xornoth laying on the hill beside him, staring up at the sky.

“Hey, Scott?”

“Yeah?”

“If anything ever happens to me-”

“It won’t,” Scott interrupts, heart in his throat. “Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

“It could-”

“No.”

They sigh. “Alright. But if it ever does, I need you to promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“I need you to promise that you’ll take care of Rivendell.”

Scott glares at them. “Rivendell hates me. Don’t ask-”

“Please. Scott, please just promise me this one thing.” Their face is deathly serious. “I don’t- nothing’s going to happen to me, but I need to know that Rivendell will be safe if anything does.”

"But-"

"Please, Scott. I know you would do brilliant at it, and I need the guarantee.

He sighs but ultimately gives in. “I wouldn't, but fine. I promise.”

Xornoth nods, seemingly satisfied. “You’re leaving tonight, right?”

“I am.”

“Then take this.” They roll over and press something into his hand. “You’ll need it.”

Scott looks down to see Vilya, the silver band gleaming in the sunlight. “Xor, you can’t give me this. This is-”

“I know perfectly well what it is, little bro.” He looks up to find them smiling sadly. “And I know you’ll need it. Now better wake up, your husband’s calling.”

“My wha-”

Scott’s plunged back into awareness to the sound of Jimmy calling his name.

“Scott? Please?” He sounds shaken, but it barely registers in Scott’s sleepy brain.

Scott rolls over and blinks his eyes open to see Jimmy watching him with concern. “Five more minutes, darling.”

“I think something’s wrong,” Jimmy says, urgent. “It feels wrong. Really wrong.”

That wakes Scott up, alright, the fear in his husband’s voice sending a spike of worry through him as he sits up. “What is it?”

“I don’t know. It’s alright, go back to sleep.”

“No, no, I trust your gut.” He trusts Jimmy more than anything else, really, which is why he gets up and out of bed. “Let’s go look, and if it’s nothing then I’ll sleep more, okay?”

Jimmy nods, hurrying after him. “I have a really terrible feeling, Scott. Be careful, please.”

“I should be telling that to you,” Scott teases.

“Hey, I’ve gotten more careful!”

Scott can’t help but laugh at how offended his husband sounds, but his mirth dies as quickly as it came. “You’re right, Jimmy. Something isn’t right.” It’s making the hairs on his arm stand up, a prickling unease similar to what he felt before the battle where Jimmy died.

“I know, it feels awful!”

“Mhm.” Scott grabs his favorite axe, glancing back at Jimmy one more time. “Stay behind me, just in case.”

He swings the door open. It takes a moment to spot what’s wrong, but once he does, his heart plummets; Xornoth is standing across the valley next to his enchanting tower, their face and body twisted with corruption but still unmistakably Scott’s sibling.

“That’s the demon!” Jimmy hisses. He sounds terrified, and Scott can’t blame him, much as it feels like a punch to the gut to know that his sibling is the one who’s been harassing his husband.

Scott grits his teeth. Protect Rivendell, that’s what he promised Xornoth all those years ago. “That?”

“Yes!”

“Right. Okay.” He takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself. “Jimmy, I need you to listen to exactly what I say right now. If I say get down, you get down. If I say run, you run and don’t look back no matter what you hear. Can you do that?”

Jimmy’s response comes a second later. “I trust you. If you say run, I’ll run.” The pure faith in the words is enough to make Scott’s throat close up for a moment, choked with sudden emotion at the level of trust Jimmy’s showing him even after everything that happened.

He shoves that feeling down. “Alright. Give me your engagement ring.”

“Wh-”

“Trust me. Please.” Scott’s nearly begging, voice cracking a bit on the last word. Jimmy must hear how weak he sounds, because he gives in without question, handing over Vilya.

Scott slides it onto his finger, hands trembling just a bit as he does. He remembers being given this ring, being just as terrified by how much Xornoth trusted him then as he is by how much Jimmy trusts him now. Ironic, really, that now he’ll be using this ring against the person who gave it to him to begin with. “Okay, Jimmy. I’m about to go out the front door, and when I do, I need you to go out the side door over there and run for the stables. When you get there, roll in the mud and then run for the village. Speed over stealth, corrupted elves track by smell and sound rather than sight.” He keeps the instructions quick and clear, praying that Jimmy’s not stubborn enough to disobey. He can’t lose Jimmy, he can’t.

Thank god, Jimmy nods.

Scott takes another deep breath, brain awhirl as he tries to figure out how he’s going to keep both Jimmy and Rivendell safe. “From there, I need you to track down an elf called Gilnar and tell them to lock down the kingdom and warn everyone of the danger.” After a moment's thought, he adds “I also need you to tell them that Lord Smajor orders them to protect you.” Gilnar’s trustworthy, they’ll look after Jimmy.

“What about you?” Jimmy asks. “Will you be okay?”

His heart aches at the concern, and it aches more when he opens his mouth to lie. “I will, I promise.” He doesn’t meet Jimmy’s eyes, knowing he’ll break if he does.

Thankfully, Jimmy says nothing about it, instead reaching for one of the spare swords. Good, good, he can protect himself.

“Ready?” Scott asks.

“Ready,” Jimmy confirms, though his voice trembles.

Scott shoves down the part of him that screams that this wasn’t supposed to be his responsibility, that he should just run while he can. He made a promise to his sibling all those years ago, and he’s going to keep it even if it’s now them that he has to defend Rivendell from.

He steps out the door.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Jimmy bolt for the stables, but the greater part of his attention is focused on Xornoth, still floating ominously across the valley.

“You do not belong here,” Scott calls out in Sindarin. It’s a challenge more than anything, practically asking them to come fight him.

He knows he’s messing with forces he doesn’t understand and cannot win against, knows it as surely as he knows his own name. Xornoth has always been faster and stronger, after all, ever since they were children.

And yet-

And yet he has to try regardless. After all, when they were children, Scott always tried to win anyways, even if it never worked. And now, the weight of an empire resting on his shoulders and his husband somewhere in the village behind him, the stakes are higher than just his pride. So he squares his shoulders and doesn’t back down as Xornoth appears in front of him with a ripple of smoke, a cruel smirk on their face.

“Well, well, well, dear brother. Never thought it’d come to this.”

“Neither did I,” Scott retorts.

They grin again. “I belong here just as much as you, you know.”

He raises his axe, gritting his teeth. “You did once, but not anymore.”

Xornoth laughs as they dart out of the way of his blows, tendrils of corruption curling around them and reaching for him. “I belong here more than you ever will.”

He stumbles back, trying to get out of their reach. “That’s not true either.”

“Oh, but it is. I thought you’d be too much of a coward to ever face me, you know. Spineless little Scott, running away from his problems like you ran away from our family.”

“We had no family left! It was just you and me!”

“And you left me to be consumed by my own greed and despair. The sibling you know died years ago and it’s all because you’re a coward.”

Scott flinches, barely bringing his axe up in time to block their next strike. “That’s not- that wasn't my fault! I didn't mean for that to happen."

“Do you really think that? Are you really foolish enough to think that you didn’t hurt me by leaving?” Xornoth’s grin is razor-sharp.

“You told me to leave if it would make me happier,” Scott cries, lapsing back into English without thinking about it.

“You shouldn’t have wanted to leave in the first place. No real elven ruler would want to leave the oldest sanctuary of the elves.”

They have him backing up again and again, barely holding them off. “I tried- I was-”

“Look at you, an elf speaking a human language,” Xornoth hisses. “How did you ever think you were going to be good enough for them? You’re never going to be the real king of Rivendell, Elinar.”

“Don’t- don’t call me that,” Scott pants.

“Elinar,” they taunt again. “Stupid, stupid Elinar. Weak, pathetic little Elinar.”

Scott stumbles backward, landing on his butt in the grass as Xornoth towers over him. His axe falls to the side, snatched by a tendril of corruption as they reach out, digging their claws into his shoulders and pushing him down. Scott’s helpless to do anything when those same tendrils reach for him, the smell of rot permeating the air. They hesitate for a moment, hovering above him, and then Xornoth grins sadistically and the corruption snatches him.

It hurts. It hurts more than any pain he’s ever felt. More than Etho’s arrow in his throat, more than Martyn’s arrow to the chest, more than Ren’s sword through his back. More than even waking up back in Rivendell. The corruption wraps itself around his throat and wrists, pinning him to the ground as his older sibling grins. Scott distantly registers that he’s screaming, writhing as he tries to get out of their hold, but everything’s fuzzy with his brain clouded by pain. He doesn’t want to die, not like this. Anything but this.

There’s a faint, familiar voice in the distance, though Scott can’t focus on what it’s saying through the haze of pain. It sounds comforting, though, and he clings to the noise like a lifeline.

All of the sudden, the pain stops and the corruption draws back slightly as Xornoth turns away.

“What did you say to me?” they hiss, in English this time.

“I said you’re ugly!” The same voice calls, and this time Scott recognizes it as Jimmy. Oh, god, Jimmy. “And you suck! Leave my husband alone!”

Xornoth loosens their hold on Scott’s shoulders, turning towards wherever Jimmy is, and Scott’s gets a rush of determination. He can’t let them hurt Jimmy.

Scott backhands them across the face, kicking his way free of their hold with strength he didn’t know he still had. They give a tiny yelp of surprise, a familiar sound, and he staggers to his feet.

This time, he doesn’t bother with the axe. Instead, he forces his will into Vilya, praying to any and every god that it will work for him. He doesn’t even believe in the elven gods any longer, and yet he’s still praying to Aeor, to Varda, to Manwe, to any deity out there that he’s enough of a true elvenking to make a ring of power bend to his will.

“You are not welcome here!” Scott shouts, and he feels the ancient strength of Vilya behind his words.

Xornoth hisses, staggering backwards. “Fine! Banish me, then, if you’re a true enough king to do it. Run back to your mortal lover, Elinar, and pray to all the gods that he doesn’t ever see how worthless you really are.”

He doesn’t flinch, though it’s a close thing. “Leave! Leave and never return!”

This time, Vilya pulses more strongly, and Xornoth is forced out of Rivendell with a hum of power.

Scott stumbles as that rush of power leaves him, collapsing to the ground. His entire body aches from the fight, but more than that, Xornoth’s last words are still ringing in his mind. Pray to all the gods that he doesn’t ever see how worthless you really are. They’re right. He knows they’re right, and that’s the worst part about it.

“Scott! Scott!” He can hear Jimmy call, and within a minute, Jimmy’s standing in front of him.

Scott looks up at his husband- his beautiful, brave husband who he’s never once deserved- his breathing ragged as he tries to reach out. “Jimmy,” He manages, a hoarse whisper.

Jimmy kneels by him, concern written across his face clear as day. “What’s wrong? Where- what’s hurt? I’ll fix it, I promise, I-” Scott grabs him and yanks him into a hug, hardly daring to believe he’s real.

“Oh,” Jimmy says, quiet, dumbstruck. He hugs Scott oh-so-gently, though his embrace isn’t enough to soothe Scott’s trembling. “It’s alright, Scott, we’re alright.”

“Jimmy,” Scott gasps. He needs his husband, needs him to be okay. “Jimmy, I can’t.”

“I-”

“I want it to be over.” It sounds so childish, but he’s so tired. “I don’t want elves or nations or politics. I just want you.”

“I know, I know,” Jimmy soothes.

‘Why does it have to be me? It wasn’t supposed to be! It wasn’t supposed to be me!” Scott wants to shout it, scream it to the world, because it’s not fair. He wasn’t supposed to be heir to Rivendell. He wasn’t supposed to have a ring of power. He wasn’t supposed to be forced to fight his own sibling. It’s not fair, but it happened anyways. It happened anyways, and that’s what breaks him, voice cracking as he begs for something, though he doesn’t even know what he wants at this point. Peace, maybe. Happiness. “I- please- shouldn’t have- Jimmy. Jimmy .”

He repeats Jimmy’s name over and over, searching for any small scrap of comfort as his sobs tear him to pieces, clutched in his husband’s arms on the grass. Jimmy’s so gentle with him, his embrace so kind as he presses soft kisses to Scott’s head and murmurs in a comforting tone, though Scott’s too far lost in his own head to hear any of what Jimmy says. His world narrows to warm arms around him, the texture of Jimmy’s shirt clutched between his fingers. Jimmy smells like dirt and swamp water- it’s the silliest thing to notice when Scott’s busy sobbing over having to fight his own sibling, but it’s easier to think about than anything else. It’s easier to think about Jimmy than anything else, really, easier to cling to the sound of his voice and his hand on Scott’s back than confront the way Scott’s grief is eating him alive.

Distantly, he can hear footsteps approaching. They’re too light to be anything but elven, not that that’s a surprise when they’re in the home of the elves. He can’t bring himself to lift his head and face them, not when his breath is still coming quick and ragged.

Gilnar’s first to speak, hesitant concen leaking into their words. “Uh, milord?”

Scott can feel Jimmy’s grip tighten protectively, can practically imagine his affronted look as he opens his mouth to snap back. “Give him a goddamn minute! He just fought a demon for all of you, let the man rest! I know you’re all elves and you’re all- all elegant and composed or whatever, but you can’t expect someone to be perfect! We’re all human, you know!” He winces a little, knowing the elves are going to tear Jimmy to shreds for that.

Indeed, one of his advisors speaks up, disdain clear in their tone. “You are human, Codfather. We are not. Lord Smajor knew the responsibilities and difficulties of ruling.”

It’s ever the way of elven royalty- their rulers cannot dare be flawed.

“He’s too young for this,” Someone else mutters. There’s as much pity in their tone as there is disdain, a strange mix of concern and derision.

“I- well I don’t think anyone could have expected a demon! And probably even less people’d be willing to fight one!” Jimmy’s voice rises with every sentence. Scott wants to tell him to spare the outrage- he’s not worth it. “Scott’s one of the bravest, kindest, smartest people I know, so lay off him, will you?”

“You know nothing of the affairs of elves,” his advisor sniffs, and Scott’s blood boils at how rude they’re being to Jimmy.

It’s that outrage that gives him the energy to raise his head, forcing his breathing to steady out. “It’s fine, Jimmy. They are correct, I do have responsibilities.” You shouldn’t be defending me, he doesn’t say. I’m not worth your outrage.

“They can’t expect you to be perfect,” Jimmy argues back.

Scott almost laughs, knowing full well that they can and should. Instead, though, he breaks free of Jimmy’s embrace and gets to his feet with far more effort than that should really take. “Gilnar, get the village out of lockdown and make sure people are aware of the threat of Xornoth. Celebear, search the library for any books on corruption of elves, and Lauriel, translate any you find that are not Sindarin into it. Elder council, I need research done on any rings of power that are strong enough to counteract Vilya to that degree, that will narrow down what Xornoth has.” His voice comes out hoarse, and he’s barely aware of what he’s saying, but he forces himself to carry on. “Now, the Codfather and I need to negotiate wool and fish trades,” Scott adds, the quickest excuse he can think of. He grabs Jimmy’s hand, dragging him away as quickly as he can manage, and ignores the stares that follow him.

They make it up the hill and into Scott’s house before Scott’s legs give out, sending him into a chair with an undignified thump. “Well, fuck me to the End and back.”

“Are they always like that?” Jimmy sounds more concerned than anything.

“Pretty much. Gilnar’s okay, just tough as shit, and so are Celebear and Lauriel, but...I wasn’t- well, I wasn’t meant to inherit Rivendell, and the Council of Elders takes every opportunity to remind me of that fact.” That’s just how it is- he doesn’t bother getting upset over it at this point. He’s always going to be second-best.

“Oh.” Jimmy hesitates, and then asks “Who’s Xornoth?”

Scott would be lying if he said he wasn’t terrified of Jimmy’s reaction, but he has nothing left to lose, so he laughs bitterly and answers honestly. “My twin, also known as the demon that’s been terrorizing you.”

“What?”

“My twin. My older sibling.” He gives another little laugh. “The person who was supposed to inherit the throne of the elves.” Who was better than Scott in every way.

“What?” Jimmy sounds shocked and confused, but not angry, not yet, so Scott elaborates.

“Let me start from the beginning. My parents were two elven monarchs, one of the Sindar, and one of the Noldor. With other bloodlines mixed in, but the Sindar and Noldor is the important bit since those two groups haven’t always gotten along. Somewhere around fifty-five years ago, they started trying for kids. What they didn’t expect was that Xornoth and I are identical twins, only the fifth set of elven twins ever recorded.” Old legend says that elven twins are only born in times of great conflict, and Scott can’t exactly say it's wrong.

���Whoa.”

“Mhm. Xornoth was- is- technically the older one, who was always set to inherit the throne of the elves and unite our divided people. They were compared to Elrond, wise and powerful leader of another land named Rivendell far in the past, and I was Elros, his twin. Impulsive, snarky, human.” Scott spits the word a bit like a curse, not because he hates humans, but because he hates himself and all the ways he’s too much like them. He closes his eyes against a fresh set of tears, blinking away the memory of Xornoth’s face when he left Rivendell. “Our parents died when we were both quite young, and we were brought up expecting Xornoth to take the throne as soon as they came of age. I spent my time hanging out with mortals, instead, getting involved in things like mcc and 3rd life.”

“Ohhh,” Jimmy says intelligently. It’s such a Jimmy way to react to something so serious, Scott might laugh if the mood were lighter.

“When I was the elven equivalent of seventeen or so, Xornoth gave me a ring. This ring, specifically.” Scott taps the ring that’s still resting on his middle finger, feeling it hum in return. “Vilya, an elven ring of power. They told me to leave Rivendell and not return.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t know at the time, but they were being corrupted by a ring of their own, not to mention their own desire for power.” Scott feels Jimmy take his hand, and looks up to see gentle concern written across his husband’s face. He has to blink again, turning away and forcing his voice to stay steady. “I returned after coming of age while away to find that Xornoth had fled and I was now the heir of Rivendell. Which absolutely no one wanted.”

“Why not? You’re amazing!” Jimmy protests. He sounds so very sincere about it, which makes it all the more heartbreaking how utterly wrong he is.

“Remember when I told you that I’m not a very elven elf? That. I’m too human for their tastes, spend too much of my time with humans.”

“Well, I think you’re wonderful.”

Scott squeezes his hand tight, letting a little of his fondness show. “Thank you, Jimmy. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Something like confusion flashes across Jimmy’s face, and then he opens his mouth again. “Wait. Scott?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Did you give me an elven ring of power for an engagement ring?”

Scott looks away again, his cheeks heating up. “….Maybe.”

“Me! You gave me, little old Jimmy Solidarity, an elven ring of power?” JImmy’s half-laughing, but the sentiment behind the words sounds real. Too real, Scott thinks; it’s as if Jimmy doesn’t know just how incredible he truly is.

“You’re the most precious thing in my life,” Scott tells him, and he means every word. “I gave you everything I could offer.”

It’s kind of adorable how quickly Jimmy flushes, his face going red and his voice rising an octave. “Stop that!”

“Stop what?” Scott asks- perfectly innocently, mind you.

“Saying that stuff and giving me that look, you know what I mean!” He definitely doesn’t. “That soft one that- that makes me all blushy and stuttery!” Jimmy adds, and Scott grins a little. Jimmy’s just too fun to fluster.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he denies, though he’s sure his smile is giving him away as less innocent than he claims.

“I’m trying to scold you for giving me a ring of power that’s super important, stop- stop flirting, for goodness sake!”

“You’re hot when you’re flustered, though.” Scott barely restrains a yawn from slipping into his voice, trying to wipe some of the blood off his face so it’ll stop getting in his eyes.

“Let me get that,” Jimmy offers. Scott’s too tired to protest his fussing, letting Jimmy dab at the cut with a wet rag and bandage it. Jimmy moves on to cleaning out smaller cuts and scrapes, then the bruises, handing Scott some ice to put on the largest ones. It’s sweet, really, how fussed he is over even the smallest injury. Scott doesn’t think he deserves Jimmy taking care of him this gently, but he can’t bring himself to push him away.

Even if it is a bit annoying that Jimmy’s making him do math to check if he has a concussion. “Ninety-two, ninety-one, I swear I’m fine, Jimmy,” Scott huffs, “Ninety, eighty-nine, eighty-eight, eighty-seven, I literally explained elven rings of power to you, eighty-six, eight-five, can I stop counting now?”

“No.”

“Jimmyyyyyyyy.” Scott must sound like a whiny child, but he’s tired.

“Just a bit more? For me?” Jimmy asks. And oh, that bastard, he’s giving Scott the face that Scott can’t ever say no to. Bastard. Absolute bastard. Scott won’t give in, he won’t.

That determination lasts all of ten seconds before Scott sighs and gives in. “Fine. Eighty-four, eighty-three, eighty-two…”

Jimmy makes him count all the way down to seventy and then multiply together thirteen and twelve, which Scott doesn’t hesitate to whine about

“I can’t believe my own husband made me do math.”

Jimmy’s laughter is worth every second of the math, actually, Scott decides as his husband bops him on the nose. “I’ll make breakfast to make up for it?”

“You better!” Scott tells him. He’s trying to sound affronted, but it just comes out fond, much to his exasperation.

Jimmy laughs again and sets about making pancake batter, which Scott doesn’t hesitate to steal bits of even when Jimmy scolds him for it. It’s peaceful, being able to lean back in his chair and laugh when his husband tries to scold him for flirting. The morning light streams in through his window, casting the side of Jimmy’s face in a golden glow, He looks so alive silhouetted like that, a grin splitting his face and bits of flour in his hair. Scott’s breath catches for a minute just looking at him, the familiar ache in his chest returning, though there’s nothing truly tragic about the scene before him.

He shakes that off when Jimmy offers him the first pancake, shoving thoughts of the future aside. For now, he’ll drink hot chocolate in a sunlit kitchen and pretend his hands don’t tremble just enough to nearly spill it. He’s not going to think about the cuts and bruises scattered across his body, not when Jimmy is looking at him like that, with such utter adoration that Scott can barely believe his luck. How did he get a husband so sweet and warm when he’s as bitterly cold as a Rivendell winter? But whether he deserves it or not, Jimmy’s right there laughing along with him, and Scott can’t find it in himself to be unhappy about it.

This won’t last, he thinks as he watches Jimmy try to fit an entire pancake in his mouth just to see if he can. If Jimmy doesn’t die to his own idiocy or the cruel will of Xornoth, time will take him from Scott as surely as the stars shine above Rivendell. Scott is not Luthien or Idril or Arwen, the elven royals lucky enough to spend the rest of eternity with their mortal husbands; Jimmy will die, likely sooner rather than later, and Scott will be alone with the cold weight of a crown to bear and no sunshine to warm him.

This won’t last, but Scott says nothing of it, sipping his hot chocolate and smiling a little sadly into the mug as Jimmy rambles about different types of fish and their personalities. And if his hands are still cold, and he can’t stop a small shiver? Well, Rivendell has always been a cold empire, hasn’t it?

[sullustangin]

Obi-Wan Kenobi Eps 1 and 2

Spoilers ahoy.  I’ll drop a lot of things behind a cut, but I am going to start reposting gif sets and memes later today (tagged appropriately, but fair warning anyway)

Obi-Wan Kenobi is not the star of his own show so far.  And perhaps rightfully so. 

And once again, Star Wars makes us have feelings about a planet that got blown up an hour into A New Hope back in 1977.

One of the major points in Star Wars mythos:  it is about family, both biological and chosen.  It is about attachments, both in the healthy psychological sense that Jedi do have and in the Buddhist/Jedi sense that Jedi should not have. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi is an utter mess internally because he has severed himself in every fashion and form from the galaxy and every form of family he had.  Connections to the Jedi Order -- who have raised him since he was a baby?  Gone.  Connections to people, socially?  None; he cannot risk being found to be Force Sensitive or tip his hand regarding his prior life.  His old friends, like Bail?  Clone Troopers?  Can’t.  Too dangerous. (I wonder if he tried to identify the trooper he met on Daiyu...)  His closest ‘relationship’ is probably Owen Lars -- and it’s apparent what Owen feels about Obi Wan and what happened to his step-brother. 

He’s also not used the Force in many years, as evidenced by his struggle to reach out and catch Leia in Episode 2.  He has severed himself from something that would have flowed through him, been around him, held him for the first 35+ years of his life.

And he severed it.  To preserve himself.  To preserve Luke.

If Star Wars is about family, Obi Wan has done his best to preserve what remains of his family -- by giving them up and trying (and struggling) not to let his attachments endanger them.  At the same time, this show is all about families: the Organa family and the Lars family.  I have no doubt we will see more of the latter.

For now, in the first two episodes, the focus is on House Organa.  Star Wars properties do a great job in making us feeling something for Alderaan, a planet blown to smithereens about an hour into ANH.  I’ll admit, Alderaan is one of my favorite places in SWTOR, so I love seeing it.  It’s a beautiful planet, and I did enjoy that a lot of the political infighting we see in SWTOR isn’t gone; even as the Empire looms over their heads, there are some toffs that are oblivious since it doesn’t bother them, personally.

Jimmy Smits is always a joy as Bail. And welcome to Simone Kessel I love how the series makes it very clear that Breha is the Organa -- Bail took her name, and he’s the consort.  Breha is the queen of Alderaan and the dynast and the boss.  I don’t think that was conveyed as well in the prequels; Bail’s status as senator was more emphasized due to the need to create ties to Padme. The Breha character was left relatively undeveloped as a personality to this point, and I was happy to see her not only as a loving mother but also as Queen, regnant. 

Vivien Lyra Blair as the young Leia is quite good.  Lot of credit goes to the writers for getting a precocious ten year old right.  Yes, she can be very clever and also dumb as a pile of bricks at the same time.  That is the glory of being a child.  The actress also ‘gets’ how she is meant to be a combination of three people:  Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala,and Leia as portrayed by Carrie Fisher.  I think Blair has done an excellent job.  The costumers have also done well to capture the fact she is Padme’s daughter as well as making reference to future outfits. 

The banter between Obi-Wan and Leia substantiates a lot of what we see in A New Hope in Leia’s message, as well as her later decision to name her son Ben (something that Luke does in the EU with his son with Mara Jade).  The producers and scriptwriters here are tidying up those connections, because in all honesty, until this series, Obi-Wan has always been considered closer to Luke than Leia.

As to why Leia isn’t as upset as Luke at Obi-Wan’s death in ANH, keep in mind that she also just saw Alderaan, with her parents on it, blow up.  She might have had a few adventures with Ben Kenobi, but she’s just lost her entire world, literally. 

Ep 2 ends with Obi-Wan learning that Lord Vader -- Anakin Skywalker -- is alive.  And his daughter is right there.  Other commentators have captured how, while Leia is much like Padme in terms of fashion sense and career trajectory, she is absolutely Anakin’s daughter in many other ways.  It’s canon that Leia is not going to find out that Anakin is her father until Return of the Jedi; Leia knows that she is adopted, but nothing about her parents beyond whatever fragmented imprints might have been made my Padme’s death. 

We are left with Obi-Wan having to confront Anakin, his family, while saving Anakin’s family from him. Leia has nothing to do with Anakin Skywalker; it is biology, not family, that binds them. Obi-Wan was Anakin’s family in the Jedi Order but also beyond that; they weren’t just paired up randomly nor chosen through discernment.  Star Wars has always emphasized families coming together to save themselves -- whether by blood or by choice. 

I... wasn’t wowed by the Inquisitors.  It’s not just the look.  There is some lack of cogent logic as to why Reva is being criticized for doing her job; if Vader thinks Obi-Wan might be out there, he wants someone chasing those leads.  Yet, the main Inquisitor seems to have motivational problems; he just wants to use the spectre of Jedi Hunting to cow people into obedience and maybe shake out some Temple rejects. 

The Inquisitors should not have this rivalry we see.  They are not true Sith, just fallen Jedi; the Sith still abide by the Rule of Two, but fallen Jedi would not. They haven’t adopted the way; they don’t practice the philosophy or receive instruction.  There’s no benefit for the Inquisitor to screw up Reva’s career or prevent her from her job.  Might there be some sort of superiority complex over having been trained or not?  But if you destroyed the Temples, that is exactly what your employee pool is going to be at a certain point! As depicted, these guys are self-defeating in the same way a DS 5 Sith can be in SWTOR: their alignment becomes Stupid Evil.  This is evidenced when the Inq and Reva start fighting while KNOWING Obi-Wan is RIGHT THERE. 

I’m also discomfited by Reva’s depiction as angry, defiant, and cruel, and also being the only black female character. All the things I despise in prequels fic re: Mace Windu (making him angry, cruel, defiant when canonically, the character is not -- he’s like the Jedi granddad of Kanan, since Mace trained Depa Bilaba and she trained Kanan...) are manifesting in Reva.  I don’t like that.

I do want to see more of Beru than we have previously (I’m fan of her being White Sun of the Resistance, hehehe).  I might pay money to see Hondo arrive and ruin Kenobi’s day.  While I don’t want it to become an albatross, seeing other outcomes to Jedi who escaped the Temple and how they get by would be welcome. 

I have a separate post about my love for Haja Estree, so I’ll post that later. 

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

That’s Christmas To Me| Julie and The Phantoms Cast

Dream-a-little-bigger-x’s Countdown to Christmas 

Day 4 

A/N: I got so excited when I saw this one was the next one I had to write! I hope you enjoy! I also wanna thank @calamitykaty​, @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​, @vrthngiwnt​ and @bright-molina​ for letting me pick your brains and bounce some ideas off of you. I love you loads! 

Pairing: Platonic! JATP Cast x fem!reader

Summary: 2022, season 2 was about to be released on Netflix and the cast was invited to promote the show on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. A dream come true. When the host asks them for their favorite holiday memory together, the cast immediately flashes back to that time at the Christmas Markets. 

Song(s) used: That’s Christmas To Me - Pentatonix | Happy Xmas (War is Over) - Echosmith ft. Hunter Hayes

Warnings: Spiked hot chocolates, but no one gets drunk and no one drinking is underage. 

Words:  3,970

Checking her outfit in the full-length mirror once again, y/n sighed nervously. All dressed out to the max for her very first talk show. Her styling team had outdone themselves once again. The gold flared pants, the white satin button down shirt and the white heels just made her feel so fabulous. 

Though she couldn’t deny the fact that she was nervous. She was going on a live show, not any live show, but the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, nonetheless. Her family watched that show religiously every single night. That thought did not calm her down either. 

A soft knock made her snap out of her thoughts and turn around to find Madison in the doorway with an excited smile on her face. “You look gorgeous!” she exclaimed excitedly and ran up to her newest best friend, engulfing her into a tight hug. 

She was sporting a gray glittery jumpsuit with black pumps strapped on her feet, her makeup done beautifully and her natural curls flowing over her shoulders with bejeweled clips pulling it out of her face. 

“So do you!” y/n retorted with the brightest smile she could muster, though Madison could see right through her and squeezed her hands reassuringly. “My heart is thumping.” The words came out in a whisper as though she was telling a secret. 

“So is mine, but we can do this. We got each other, okay?” 

Y/N and Madison had gotten along straight away the first day y/n came to set. It was nerve-wracking to weasel yourself into a tight group of cast members who’ve already spent two years working together, but they made it so agreeable. The first day, Madison and Owen came up to her and started bombarding her with so many questions about herself and her character. All she knew about the latter was that she’d be Reggie’s love interest and the villain’s niece who worked for him to try and get Reggie, Luke and Alex into his club. Which of course, would not work out as y/n’s character would fall for the bassist too. 

The entire cast welcomed her into their group straight away and the whole process became so enjoyable to the point where it just didn’t feel like work anymore. It just felt like spending time with friends and trying to memorize words and songs at the same time. It was weird. But so much fun. And now, they were able to finally promote said season. 

“Madison, y/n, time to go,” one of the show runners said to them when he passed y/n’s dressing room. The two girls nodded and after a simultaneous deep inhale and exhale of stress, they made their way to the hallway where the boys were waiting. 

Charlie and Jeremy offered y/n a wide smile to ease her nerves a little before Charlie held out his hand in front of him. “We got this. Legends on three?” The others nodded and, with a content smile on her face, y/n placed her hand on top of Charlie’s. 

“One,” said Charlie. 

“Two,” Jeremy and Madison added in unison. 

“Three!” Owen and y/n finished and all five their hands went up in the air as they yelled out “Legends!” Though it was scary, y/n knew she had four amazing people that would guide her through it. 

“Please, welcome the cast of Julie and The Phantoms!” Jimmy introduced them and, while the Roots played the infamous intro song, the cast walked through the red curtain. Madison and y/n ahead, holding one another’s hands as to not fall in their heels, then followed Charlie, Jeremy and Owen. 

The audience cheered and applauded until they sat down and the music faded away. “Welcome, welcome!” Jimmy said excitedly. “Thank you for being here!” The cast beamed at the host, unable to contain their excitement nor nerves. 

“Thanks for having us,” said Charlie, the polite Canadian. 

“So, exciting news, season two of your show Julie and The Phantoms premieres on Netflix tonight, is that correct?” 

“Yes!” all five said, though not quite in unison, and the crowd roared again. Y/N couldn’t hide the smile on her red painted lips as she looked out into the sea of people. 

Jimmy turned to the crowd, “If the people at home have never heard of your show, how would you explain it?” His eyes fell on the girl closest to his desk, which was Madison, allowing her to answer the question. 

“Uhm… Julie and The Phantoms is about this girl, Julie, who tragically lost her mom and, with it, her love for music. That is until one day, she plays this old CD she finds and out pop these three lovable, dorky ghosts who used to be in a band in the 90’s, called Sunset Curve. They died when they ate bad hot dogs--” the crowd let out a laugh, and it made Madison chuckle too. “Yeah! -- Anyway, and so these boys kind of help her find her love for music again and they form a band, called Julie and The Phantoms as the audience can see the ghosts when they play with Julie. And a lot of things happen and it’s funny and light and cute!” 

Jimmy let out a chuckle too, “And now there’s a season 2!” Another cheer erupted from the crowd. “What can you tell us about season 2, Charlie?” he directed the question to the boy next to the newbee. 

“A lot happens! We see what happens with Nick and Caleb, and we meet Philippa, Pips, Covington who will stir up some crazy stuff in the boys’ lives, especially Reggie’s,” he explained with a grin. He stirred in his seat a little before placing his arm on the back of the couch, behind y/n’s head. The girl tried not to react to the overwhelmingly amazing scent of sandalwood that emanated from this movement. 

Jimmy’s eyes landed on y/n and she was certain that for a moment, he knew what she was thinking, but then he asked her a question instead. “How was it for you, y/n, as the newcomer to the cast? Did they immediately embrace you or did  you have trouble being accepted?” 

“I hated it--” she replied seriously,  but then giggled, “No, I loved it! They were so kind and so welcoming, I immediately felt like I was part of their tight group. It did feel strange at first, I’m not gonna lie. But after a while, coming to work didn’t really feel like working anymore.” 

“And your character, Phillipa, was she accepted by the other characters?” 

She cleared her throat of any nerves before answering. “Pippa was… well-- she was working for her dead great-uncle, so she had to make sure she was accepted and weasled herself into the friend group pretty quickly. She knew how to get to Reggie especially and thanks to him, got into their friend group.”

“That’s amazing. I’m so excited to watch! My daughters are eight and nine, and they loved season 1 of Julie and The Phantoms. They’re thrilled to see the new season!” 

A chorus of “aw”s were shared within the cast as well as throughout the audience. 

“Yeah, they’re pretty cute.” He picked up his cue cards to remind himself of the next bullet point he needed to talk about. “Oh! Since it’s almost Christmas, I like to ask my guests to tell us a fun holiday themed story before I send them off, do you guys have a fun holiday themed story for us?” 

The cast exchange glances until Owen asked, “Should we talk about the Christmas market we did last year after filming?” The rest of the cast made sounds of agreement with a few giggles mixed in between. 

“Tell us about the Christmas Market!” Jimmy shouted excitedly, almost resembling a five-year-old getting their Christmas presents early. 

Owen took the lead on this one. “So, we were all in Vancouver, we had wrapped season 2 and we would soon be going home, but we decided to spend one last night together at a Christmas market in Vancouver city…”    

Bundled up in layers of sweaters and a thick coat, y/n trekked through the layer of snow that blanketed to grounds of Vancouver City. She was trying her hardest not to focus on the blistering cold that nipped at her nose but rather on the story Charlie was telling the others in front of her. His voice boomed into the busy streets, along with the others’ laughter. 

She always loved the way Charlie told his stories about every wild adventure he’d ever been on and the way Owen quipped back with the wittiest of comebacks. Or how Madison would chime in with her typical Gen Z humor none of the boys understood. Y/N was sure going to miss the entire dynamic of the group when they were back home. 

Thousands of lights flickered above y/n’s head as they strolled through the entrance of the infamous Vancouver Christmas Market. She let her eyes take in the beauty whilst her stomach fluttered from excitement. Her love for Christmas Markets had never faltered over the years. It still excited her in the same way it did when she was just a child. 

“Can we get a hot chocolate first? I’m freezing!” Savannah suggested, her teeth chattering as she snuggled into her thick scarf. Smiling, y/n hooked her arm around hers and pulled her closer in hopes the warmth of all her layers would help the blonde girl a little. 

“I heard they have a unique recipe that only the Christmas Market here ever uses!” Charlie added with a wide grin before leading the gang towards the warm beverage kiosk. It resembled a cabin from a ski resort, decked out all the way with Christmas lights and foliage. 

The group stood in front of the kiosk and read the menu to figure out whatever they’d want to drink. “Ooh, that Peppermint Hot Chocolate sounds delish,” Owen said, and when y/n’s eyes landed on the words, her mouth curled up into a smirk. 

“We’re going that route tonight, hm?” 

The hot chocolate he was talking about was spiked with peppermint schnapps and chocolate liqueur. This sounded right up y/n’s street, and she knew it would warm Savannah up from the inside. 

“Follow me or don’t follow me, that’s up to you, but I am taking that route tonight.” Owen rubbed his gloved hands together until the lady inside the kiosk looked up at him, signalling that it was his turn to order. “A peppermint hot chocolate, please.” He sounded way too confident for someone who had just turned 21 that year. 

The woman peered over her half-moon glasses, letting her eyes glide from his eyes to his toes before sneering, “ID, please.” Owen’s mouth dropped open and with a lot of cursing underneath his breath, he reached for his wallet. 

“Ha! Owen’s getting ID’d!” Charlie cackled, shaking his head. The woman’s eyes darted over to the second boy, giving him the same one-up before raising her eyebrows as if saying “I’m gonna get you too, little boy”. 

And she did. She ID’d Charlie too. No one else but Charlie and Owen, which everyone had a good laugh at as they were sipping their hot chocolates, which for three out of ten isn’t spiked. 

While Jeremy and Booboo were still teasing the two boys, y/n turned around and let her eyes scan the entire view in front of her. All the pretty lights and the snow whirling to the ground so gracefully and the music floating through the air made the cold more bearable. 

A gasp eliciting from Jadah’s tiny body made y/n snap out of her thoughts and turn to the younger cast member. Her eyes were wide and shimmering, looking up at the tall Christmas tree that was towering above their heads with tens of thousands of lights blinking back at them. 

“Isn’t that the walk-through Christmas tree?!” she asked, excitedly. 

Madison took her hand and, giggling, they weaved through the sea of people towards the one-of-a-kind festive fairyland. Y/N exchanged glances with the rest before they, too, made a beeline towards the tree, dodging people left and right. 

“Hey, Owen, are you sure you’re gonna be able to fit?” y/n asked the tall Oklahoman teasingly. The boy’s mouth dropped open, and before she could properly register it, he started chasing her. She ran past Madison and Jadah, and tried to duck behind any other visitor until he eventually picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. The girl shrieked, prior to a giggle.  

Jimmy’s voice echoed over y/n’s flashback to the most festive night of that year. “You guys really sound like a close group of friends.” 

“Yeah! We are! We’re like a little family!” Charlie replied, dropping the arm that was on the back of the sofa around the girl’s shoulder. 

“What happened next?” Jimmy then questioned, curiously. The whole scene almost resembled a toddler listening to his bedtime story. 

Jeremy cleared his throat with a chuckle. “Well, if this night were a movie, you’d now have a cute montage of us going through that magical tree and on the carousel like little children.” 

“Yeah, you’d see us stuff our faces with churros and pretzels,” y/n added, making Jimmy and the crowd laugh. 

“And we got a lot of Christmas shopping done too!” Madison chimed in with a smile. “I actually got everyone’s present when they were right there with me. None of them noticed.” 

“Oh, no, I noticed,” y/n replied with a smirk, to which Madison reacted with widened eyes. 

“What’s next?!” Jimmy queried. His eyes were glistening as he listened to the cast talk. He just loved their dynamic and how well they got along with one another. 

Y/N continued the story as her mind tumbled back into her daydream. 

The music had stopped just a few minutes ago, but only now y/n’s ears picked up on the sudden absence. Knitting her eyebrows together, she lifted her eyes to the stage in the corner of the market where singers were carolling minutes ago, and was now completely empty. As the small amount of alcohol made her brain a little woozy, her teeth gnawed on her bottom lip in thought. 

“Guys… Should we--Should we go sing a song?” she suggested, causing all of them to look up in surprise. “There’s no one on the stage… Should we?” she pointed at the podium to emphasize what she meant. 

As smiles appeared on each of their faces, the group walked up to the stage and grabbed a microphone each. Charlie reached for the acoustic guitar on the stand, but y/n stopped him. 

“Let’s do a capella for once?” she told him tenderly. 

When his eyes met hers, she felt her lungs expand with the gasp that left her body. How gorgeous could one’s eyes be. But with that one look, the boy also knew what song she wanted to sing. The one song that had been stuck in her head for the past month during filming. And the rest of the crew knew too because when y/n counted them in softly, they all started to sing along. Their voices mingling perfectly and floating throughout the night sky. 

“The fireplace is burning bright, shining all on me I see the presents underneath the good old Christmas tree And I wait all night 'til Santa comes to wake me from my dreams Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

Savannah locked eyes with y/n and a smile fell to their lips before they looked out to the audience they had assembled with their harmonies reaching across the entire Christmas Market. 

“I see the children play outside, like angels in the snow While mom and daddy share a kiss under the mistletoe And we'll cherish all these simple things wherever we may be Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

Owen came to stand next to y/n and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they all sang the chorus together, the tall blondie on lead vocals and the others harmonizing in the background. 

“I've got this Christmas song in my heart”

“Song in my heart”

“I've got the candles glowing in the dark I'm hanging all the stockings by the Christmas tree Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

As though they had prepared the entire performance, Booboo led them into the next verse while the others acted as backing vocals for him. His warm, deep voice sent chills down everyone’s spines, especially of the people in the crowd. 

“I listen for the thud of reindeer walking on the roof As I fall asleep to lullabies, the morning's coming soon”

His cast mates then joined in again and together, they sang the chorus once again with Jeremy taking lead this time. While they did, y/n took a hold of Savannah’s gloved hand, squeezing it as they looked at each other with intent in their eyes. Like they meant what they were singing to one another. 

“The only gift I'll ever need is the joy of family Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me I've got this Christmas song in my heart”

“Song in my heart”

“I've got the candles glowing in the dark I'm hanging all the stockings by the Christmas tree Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

Y/N turned her head to the other side now, locking eyes with Tori and Sacha, and shooting them a wink before they lapsed into the chorus one last time. It felt good to sing with everyone for once. During filming, it was always just a select group of people that got to sing together. 

“Oh, the joy that fills our hearts and makes us see Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me I've got this Christmas song in my heart I've got the candles glowing in the dark And then for years to come we'll always know one thing That's the love that Christmas can bring Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

As the crowd erupted into cheers and applause, the group shared an intense look, one that said they were always going to be friends. No matter how far away they’ll be from tomorrow on. Even if they don’t get picked up for a third season, they’re always going to be there for each other and be the best of friends forever. The only gift they’ll ever need is the joy of family. And they were family. 

“That was so beautiful!” Jimmy exclaimed after they’d told him about everything that had happened that night in a short synopsis. “Now, I believe you’re gonna sing for us now?” 

The cast nodded in unison. “Okay, what are you bringing us tonight? The song you sang at the Christmas market?” 

Madison giggled, “No, though we love that song, there’s one we collectively think is one of the greatest Christmas songs ever. It’s the ultimate classic Happy Xmas, War is Over by John Lennon.” 

“Amazing! You can go get ready!” he gestures to the tiled floor in front of the red curtain where the crew had set up their instruments and five microphones for them. “Catch Julie and The Phantoms season 2 on Netflix from tonight! They’re singing for us now. Madison, y/n, Charlie, Jeremy and Owen, take it away!” 

Owen counted them in by slamming his sticks together and then began playing the rhythm of the song. Y/N then chimed in with the jingling of the tambourine before the other boys and Madison joined with their respective instruments. Soon after, Madison’s voice floated through the talk show’s studio. 

“So this is Christmas And what have you done Another year over A new one just begun”

When the girls lock eyes, they shoot one another a wink before y/n takes over the next part of the verse. 

“And so this is Christmas I hope you have fun The near and the dear ones The old and the young”

Then the boys chime in, their voices mingling as they linger in the air for everyone to hear and enjoy. Y/N lets her eyes dart over to Charlie, who’s already looking at her with a smile on his face. 

“A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fears”

The others shut up, giving Charlie the floor now. He really was born to be a rockstar. The way he just owned the stage and looked like an absolute legend, singing his heart out and playing his guitar like a pro. And he’d only started learning when he was on season 1 of Julie and The Phantoms. 

“And so this is Christmas For weak and for strong The rich and the poor ones The world is so wrong”

For a split second, he locked eyes with y/n again as she took over and faced the audience with a smile, still working her little tambourine for the extra jingles. Somehow, this just felt like one of their jam sessions during rehearsals and not at all like it was a live broadcast on national television. 

“And so happy Christmas For black and for white Ooh, for everyone Let's stop all the fights”

Their voices mingled together again, and, in a boost of confidence, y/n grabbed the mic from its stand and walked over to Jeremy, rocking out with him as he shredded on the bass. 

“A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fears”

The music slowed down, and while Madi, Owen and Jeremy took care of the soft backing vocals, y/n walked over to Charlie and sang the lines to one another, never breaking eye contact. 

“And so this is Christmas And what have we done Another year over A new one just begun”

The music picked back up. Madison took over this time, and while y/n worked her tambourine, she danced her way towards the Latina girl with a smile plastered on her face. 

“And so happy Christmas We hope you have fun The near and the dear ones The old and the young”

She then turned to Owen as he took over on the next part. He shot her a quick wink whilst his mouth curled up on one side. “A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fear”

Each taking their turn, starting with Owen, they all sang a part of the backing vocals while the boys and Madison played the instrumental intermezzo. “Merry Christmas” 

“So this is Christmas”

“War is over now” 

Returning back to her spot, y/n placed her mic on the stand again, and along with the others, sang the very last lines of the song. 

“War is over If you want it It’s over now”

The crowd erupted into cheers and applause while the band assembled in the middle of the stage. Charlie grabbed y/n’s hand and gave it a small, reassuring squeeze. All five of them together took a bow before exchanging knowing glances. 

This time around, they knew they were going to see each other tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that as they were doing all the promo they could. It felt a lot more reassuring than it did that day at the Christmas Market when they had no clue when they’d see each other again. Though all of them knew that this was still the only gift they’ll ever need. Their little found family.  

JATP taglist: @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​@thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ifilwtmfc​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @rudysbay @thedarkqueenofavalon​​ @caitsymichelle13​​ @calamitykaty​ @wiselight​ @kcd15​​ @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​ @stars-soph​ @kinda-really-lost​ @notasofti​ @alexpjoyner​ @n0wornever​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @tefilovesreading​ @pxperphxntom​ @crybabyddl​ @parkeret​ @headheartbellarke​ 

Names crossed out are the ones I couldn’t tag. 

Lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist! 

[lag1995-fics]

Hello, could I request a Kit Walker x reader where the reader is related to jimmy darling and the reader introduce Kit to Jimmy.

Sorry for the wait love I’m on day 8 of fourteen at work. Keep requesting though guys I love writing and it keeps me sane. I hope you enjoy.

Pairing: fem!Reader x Kit Walker

Summary: reader introduces their new fiancé Kit to their big brother Jimmy

Warnings: some male posturing but really fluffy and mild

Words:1298

Masterlist

What A Darling

You had come to live with your half brother Jimmy and his wives Dot and Bette when you were only fifteen. Your mother had died in a car accident and when the CPS workers looked into the man listed as your father on your birth certificate they had discovered him to be dead. Luckily he had another child who was already well into adulthood so you didn’t have to stay in the system.

It hadn’t taken long for you and Jimmy to become thick as thieves. You had been born without the ectrodactyly syndrome that your brother had and your father hadn’t wanted much to do with you since you didn’t have anything that could make him money. Jimmy had instantly become someone you could trust with your life.

He had been sad when you went off to college but happy that you were gonna make something of yourself. With a dad like Dell Toledo that was saying a lot. Jimmy had pushed you to do well in school and break the cycle. You decided to major in education.

That was how you met Julia and Thomas and through them Kit Walker. They were in your Kindergarten class your first year of teaching. You knew that you weren’t supposed to have favorites but the pair of siblings had touched your heart in a way the other kids couldn’t. You had tried to keep your distance at first because it seemed unprofessional but Kit had this whole charming single dad thing going on and it was quite difficult to stay professional when he flashed you those dimples.

The flirtation had remained just that, a flirtation up until the kids’ last day of school before summer break. Kit had swung by to pick them up but instead of his usual mechanics blues he was wearing a loud paisley print button down and there wasn’t a smudge of grease to be found. You would have almost sworn that your heart stopped when he flashed you his toothy grin.

“Ms. Y/L/N” he had greeted and you noted that he had made sure to be the last parent to pick up as it was just Jules and Tommy. The siblings were giggling behind their hands and whispering to each other.

“Well hello Mr. Walker, I was beginning to worry you’re never late” you raised an eyebrows narrowing your eyes.

“Well I’m terribly sorry to have worried you ma’am. If you would allow me to buy you dinner I would be grateful to make it up to you,” He replied, his grin never dropping. The kids began giggling even harder at their dad’s cheesy flirting.

“You guys were in on this huh?” You asked the children who feigned innocence.

“So?” Kit had a hopeful expression on his face.

“Pick me up at six” you told him with a smirk. His face lit up with that blinding smile again.

The date hadn’t felt like a first date; it had felt like coming home. She had known before he had even tried to kiss her goodnight that Kit was going to be her person. So one date turned to two and two turned to twenty and before they knew it they were getting engaged.

***

“Jules, Tommy are you guys ready it’s a bit of a drive make sure you go to the bathroom before we leave” the seven year olds dutifully wandered off to the restroom. You were fretting over your suitcase when you felt arms snake around you from behind and warm lips pepper kisses on your neck.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” Kit’s voice whispered in your ear making your cheeks warm.

“Only about a dozen times just this morning” you giggled spinning so you were facing him, your faces inches from each other. You leant up and pressed your lips to his, his hands coming to rest at the back of your neck and side of your face. You could kiss Kit forever and never tire of it.

“Well then I’m short a few aren’t I” he asked with his eyes shining.

You only laughed and relaxed into his arms, you knew Jimmy would get along with Kit. Well at least after giving him plenty of shit for dating his little sister. You were also excited for Jules and Tommy to meet their cousins. The kids were all about the same age so it would be perfect. You knew Jimmy was skeptical of anyone being good enough for you in his eyes but you knew they would get on well.

The moment was broken by the feeling of four little arms wrapping around your and Kit’s legs almost knocking you over. You smiled down at the children and they flashed you their dimpled grins they had both inherited from Kit. You hoped that when you and Kit finally decided to have another baby they too would have his impressive dimples.

“You guys ready?” You asked making sure to voice your excitement.

“Yeah” they echoed in unison, it would always baffle you how they did that. You thought speaking in unison was supposed to be a twin thing.

Once you guys were all in the car and it was almost time to arrive you turned to the kids. You had gone over Jimmy’s ectrodactyly with them and they knew Dot and Bette shared a body, but they were still only six years old. Six year olds were not know for having the best manners. Hell Paulie and Ethie had embarrassed the hell out of you when they asked why you were wearing a clown dress last time you had visited.

“Julia, Thomas, remember what we said about you aunties and uncles?” You asked them with a soft smile.

“Yeah that they were born the way they were and they’re the same as us” Julia replied proud of herself for remembering.

“Very good they’re going to be so happy to meet y’all” you said and turned back around to find Kit smiling at you like a loon.

“I love you” he said to you and you rolled your eyes but kissed his cheek anyway.

“I love you too you big old sap” you grinned at him.

***

When Kit pulled into the drive way you could see your brother already waiting for you on the front porch. You dashed out of the car to hug his neck leaving Kit to help Jules and Tommy out of the station wagon. It wasn’t long before Kit and the kid made there way over.

“Jimmy I want you to mee Julia and Thomas. Jules, Tommy this is your uncle Jimmy” you introduced them and the kids immediately went up to Jimmy with matching grins.

“Uncle Jimmy, do you have candy? My friend Steve said that Uncles always have candy?” Tommy asked and you were happy to see both kids were completely unphased by Jimmy’s hands.

“Well I don’t have Candy but I think your Aunties made cookies. Maybe you could see if they will sneak you one before dinner” Jimmy grinned at the kids who rocketed into the house at the mention of sweets.

Once the kids were out of sight Jimmy plastered a stern look on his face causing you to punch him in the arm. He waved you off only glaring harder at Kit who did a good job of putting on a brave face.

“Jimmy be nice” you warned and he shrugged.

“Can’t a guy threaten his sisters boyfriend without any trouble?” He asked before turning to glare at Kit again.

“It’s fine y/n” Kit smiled at you and rolled your eyes leaving the boys to do their masculine posturing. You knew though that this was it Jimmy had accepted Kit and the kids as part of the family.

[buddyhollyscurls]

WIP Wednesday

soooooooooooo it’s not Wednesday but I was tagged and i had been working on my wip sooooooooo why not?? thanks to @musicrunsthroughmysoul for the tag!! sorry i’m uploading so late hahaha and i apologize in advance for any formatting errors 

Viviana

For as long as I can remember, all I ever wanted to do was sing. My earliest memories are of me sitting on the floor by our old Victorla, singing along to Elsie Baker’s I Love You Truly. I probably made my poor parents sick to death of it from how often I played it. But I guess that’s just the magic music has on us. It’s never just about a song, it’s about a connection. It was about the feeling I’d get - even as a child - that one day I’d meet a man and the words of a song I knew so well would just flow out of me, and they’d feel just as real and as natural as when I heard Elsie Baker sing them. Well, that man may not be in my life just yet, but I’ve never forgotten the way that song made me feel. I knew back then, sitting on the floor of my family’s living room, that singing was what I was meant to do. Someday someone would feel that same magic, that exact same connection, and it’d be because of me. I held on to that dream like a child clings to their favorite doll. Sometimes I felt like that dream was the only thing I could rely on. That it was the only thing in this world standing by me. I was just me and I was living for a fantasy. A fantasy that I sometimes feared wouldn’t even come true.

I had started working with bands and at clubs for a few years now, and even though nothing made me feel more content than being on stage, I couldn’t help but feel I wanted something more. I loved the work I did, and I loved the bands I got to play with, but it felt like I was coming to a standstill. I was playing the same clubs and bars and it was beginning to feel like an endless cycle. I was beginning to feel that maybe it was me. Maybe I just wasn’t special enough to make it as big as I’d always hoped. 

I pushed those thoughts away as I finished the last song for the evening. I was singing with a new band and we’d been busy these last few nights traveling around the city. They were actually pretty decent. Of course, I secretly felt our piano player could have had just a tiny bit more pizazz, but that was just me. I had a particular soft spot for the piano. Anyway, we had been doing a great job of getting people in to see us, and I really felt that maybe this was the band that could take me places. 

After the audience had left and the boys were packing up, I looked out at the empty stage. I smiled to myself, still hearing the applause from the end of the night. 

I turned to my friend - the bassist - Anthony and said, “That crowd was great, don’t you think? They really seemed to like us.”

He smiled, “They really did. If things keep going this well we could be playing at Smalls Paradise any day now.”

I playfully hit his arm, “Smalls Paradise? Only in your dreams, kid.”

“Why’s that? You don’t think your voice is good enough? I can picture it now, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, Smalls Paradise is proud to present Viviana Cortez.’”

I laughed, “You sure are good for my ego, Tony.”

It was then a random voice called out, “He’s right, you know.”

We turned and saw a man coming towards us. He was tall, dressed in a smart dark suit. He had light brown hair that was perfectly combed back. Nothing about this man seemed out of place. His handkerchief was neatly tucked in his pocket, his shoes were spotless right down to his spats, even the way he walked seemed careful and meticulous. The only imperfection that appeared on him was a scar on his cheek, but even that seemed to fit his appearance well. In short, he was handsome, if you were the type of woman who liked men who looked like the late, great Rudolph Valentino. Which I didn’t particularly. Truth be told I had always preferred Ramon Navarro. 

“Who are you,” Tony asked when he finished approaching us. 

“Jimmy. Jimmy Connor.”

“Well,” I said, “Mr. Connor, is there anything we can help you with?”

He looked at me for a moment before a smile began to form on his lips, “I’d like to speak with you, Miss…”

“Cortez,” I helped him.

“Cortez. If you don’t mind.”

I glanced over at Anthony. What on Earth could this man want with me?

Tony spoke up, “We were actually almost on our way out.” 

Jimmy glanced over at him, and it seemed that he had all but forgotten there was even another person in the room, “Well, it won’t take long for me to address the lady.”

Anthony glanced at us for a moment. He enunciated that last part so that Anthony knew what he meant. He wanted to talk to me alone. I nodded slightly at him that it was ok, after all, I didn’t want any problems.

“Viviana, if you need me I’ll just be backstage getting my stuff.”

Jimmy waited until he was sure Anthony had left then he relaxed and smiled at me. He seemed pleasant enough now that he got what he wanted. 

“Now, Miss Cortez - it is Miss, right?”

I laughed, “Yes, but you can just call me Viviana.”

“Viviana. A lovely name. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I heard your singing earlier today. I thought you were wonderful.”

“Oh,” I said pleasantly surprised, “Thank you.”

“And your friend had a point, you know. I mean, you should be singing in places like Club Hot-Cha.”

I chuckled. In part because I was beginning to wonder what he wanted out of flattering me. I couldn’t help but feel slightly curious to see where he was headed. 

“Club Hot-Cha? My, my, but what makes you so sure?”

“I know a talented singer when I hear one. It also helps when she’s as beautiful as you are. I’m sure men would line up to catch a glimpse of you there… or anywhere, really.”

And there it was, I thought to myself. It was only a matter of time. It took everything in me to plaster on a smile. 

“I thank you for your flattery, Mr. Connor, but I’m afraid you’ll have to wait to see me on stage at Club Hot-Cha or Smalls Paradise or anywhere else. However, I may be headlining the Cotton Club in a few weeks if you want to see me there. You and any other man can wait in line for that. Now, until then, if you’ll excuse me I’d better find Tony so we can go.”

“Wait a second. Don’t go. I didn’t mean -” 

I turned on him before he could finish, “Listen, Mr. Connor, I don’t know what you wanted to speak to me about, but I can assure you I am not interested.”

“Even if I told you I could help you get to Smalls Paradise, or Hot-Cha, or any other of these clubs?”

“And how on Earth could you do that?”

“You could play for me at my new hotel.”

“Excuse me?”

“I want you to sing at my new hotel,” He approached me carefully then, “Listen, I apologize if I offended you earlier. Tact isn’t exactly my strong suit. But I meant what I said. You have a marvelous voice. With your voice and your beauty, you should be a big star. You should be singing alongside Bessie Smith. Sing for me and you could get there.”

I was flabbergasted. Me? But I kept my cool. I wasn’t about to fall for big lines that easily.

“And how do you propose that’ll happen,” I asked, calmly as ever.

“Work for me. I have a brand new hotel opening up. It’s going to be big. Huge. Especially if I have someone like you there.”

“Uh-huh. And what makes this hotel of yours different from any other hotel in New York? What makes you think people will go to hear me?”

“Because my hotel isn’t in New York,” he said eying me carefully, “It’s in Havana.”

I stared at him with a quizzical look, uncertain that I had even heard right. Did he really mean -

“That’s right,” He said as if reading my thoughts, “Havana. Cuba. You’ve heard the things people have been saying about Havana, right?”

“Of course I have. It’s practically a tropical paradise. The music scene there…”

He nodded at me, “That’s right, that’s right. The whole nightlife there is thriving. If you work for me there, baby, you could be all set in the music business. And they’re right when they say it’s paradise. It’s even better up close and personal. I think you belong there.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and let out a deep sigh, “That’s absurd.”

He stared at me, “Why is it absurd?”

I nearly gawked at him, “You don’t know me.”

“No,” he said leaning closer to me, “But I see you. I see you and I know that you’re the kind of woman who deserves to be seen. You should be traveling and singing all over the world, covered in furs and diamonds, maybe even with the right man at your side.”

He stared at me then, long and hard, and I had to admit I felt a small warmth in my cheeks, but I wasn’t about to go that route with him. 

I took a step back and gave him a polite smile, hoping he’d take the hint. He returned my gesture and reached into his pocket. 

“Very well,” he said good-naturedly, “I know when my time is up. But I hope you do consider my offer,” he handed me his business card then, “I meant every word.” He said in my ear as he was leaving, giving my cheek a quick caress as he walked past me.

I stared at him as he left, “Fresh.” I whispered under my breath.

tbh i have no idea who to tag so if you’re a writer and have a wip u wanna share just like this post and consider yourself tagged!

[themuseic]

Only Fools (Chapter 8)

(Art Credit: @clumsycopy)

Fic Summary: Sent to Boone County, West Virginia on an assignment, you find yourself engulfed your work. How could you possibly find time for anything else? Even if “anything else” includes the tall, kind, and handsome bartender from down the road?

Word Count: 2.8k

Read Chapter 7 here.

Read here on AO3.

Warnings: Fluff, obscene amounts of fluff. Alcohol mention, but no explicit consumption. 

Author’s Note: Okay, I really do think I’m back now. If that isn’t the case, apologies in advance. If it is the case, hi! I’m excited to catch up on things! Also, this chapter has references to a song that was also used by @aloneandsleepless​ in her one-shot Elvis. If you haven’t read that yet, PLEASE do. It’s so beautifully written and well worth the read. As always, thank you for reading, love you all. 

It had been the talk of the town all week. All month really. 

You knew that towns had traditions, and you had just brushed it off as such. But when you brought up the winter festival to Clyde, the sheer excitement on his face let you know that the celebration at the diner was far from just an ordinary Saturday night on the town. It was the spirit of the holidays in Boone County, the hotly anticipated to-do. “People come from all over,” Clyde explained in between mouthfuls of burnt bacon, from where he sat across from you at the trailer table. “Even come down from Charlotte, if you can believe that.”

You whistled. “Sounds like quite the party. And it’s this week?”

“Yup, on Friday,” Clyde nodded. “I’m gonna be closing the bar that night to go. I don’t think I’d get too many customers that night anyway.” He shuffled his feet along the linoleum floor. “Actually darlin’, I’ve been meaning to ask you…” Suddenly, Clyde clammed up, almost afraid to get his next words out.

“Yes, Clyde? You know you can ask me anything.” His hesitation almost made you nervous. Though he tended to be a quieter soul, rarely did words fail him when the two of you were alone. He exhaled and steeled himself for his query. “Well, I was wonderin’ if you’d like to be my date.” You stopped. You could have heard a pin drop in the silence that blanketed the trailer. Realization of what he had asked hit you all at once, and you broke into hearty guffaws. A smile so big it nearly hurt you plastered itself across your face. At that reaction, Clyde visibly relaxed, a smile dancing at the corners of his lips. 

“Clyde, we have quite literally been sleeping together for two months now.” He blushed a deep red and his lower lip pushed forward into the smallest pout. “Well, I didn’t want to assume, and I know we’re sleeping together but…” You shushed him by placing your finger onto the center of his plump lips. “Clyde, I think it’s cute. Of course I’ll be your date.” You closed the distance between you, flung your arms around his neck, and pulled him into a soft kiss. Clyde smiled against you and returned the kiss with vigor, his lips parting slightly as he pushed his face into yours. He pulled back with a smack, and his forehead came to rest on your own. A swift smack landed on your ass and you yelped. “C’mon darlin’, let’s get this cleaned up so we can go get that trail cam footage,” Clyde muttered as he squeezed you softly. 

~~~

The town was blanketed in a plush layer of crisp white snow. It lay in piles on rooftops and cars, on street corners and it lined the pathways that people swathed in layers of coats and scarves meandered down. It was everything you expected from a small town holiday, but it was far from gauche. It was crystal clear why the Logan family was so eager to attend.

With little care to watch the ground you walked on, you misstepped and yelped as your foot hit a patch of ice that threatened to slide your legs apart into a swift split. “Woah there!” Clyde jumped, hooking his arm under your armpit to keep you upright. You laughed at yourself as you held onto his thick arm to catch your footing. “Can’t seem to keep myself standing huh?” you joked, peering up at him. He chuckled, with an almost imperceptible eye roll. “You’re gonna get yourself in trouble one day from not watchin’ your surroundings, darlin’,” he tsk’ed, prompting you to stick your tongue out at him. Clyde shook his head with a small smile, and helped you right yourself. 

You stepped forward without letting go of his arm, and he squeezed your elbow into the crook of his arm to acknowledge your clutch on him. You could feel your face warm and you dropped your gaze to smile at the ground. 

~~~

The diner was warm and packed full of people. Clyde shielded you from the patrons as you pushed your way to the counter, eager to nab a winter drink to warm your insides. Once situated at the bar, he called out your order to a worker that seemed overjoyed to see Clyde. You laughed. “You know just about everyone in this town, huh Clyde?” He shrugged, passing you a steaming mug. “Comes with havin’ one of the only bars in the area,” he winked, and raised your mug to his lips.

Clyde stood behind you at the bar while you sipped your drink, acting as a human wall to halt people from trampling your feet, with his hand resting on your waist. He pointed out all the people that he knew and provided a small anecdote for each one, almost as if he was providing his own personal, albeit abbreviated, history of Boone County. You could listen to him talk forever, his honeyed words soothing to your ears over the cacophony of the diner.

“Hey gal!” you heard a voice call from across the diner, breaking you from your unwavering gaze at Clyde. You turned to see Mellie bounding towards you, Jimmy, Sylvia, and Joe close behind her. Jimmy was carrying a young blonde girl on his shoulder, and you assumed it was Clyde’s niece. Cynthia? Samantha?

“Hey lil’ Sadie!” Clyde called from over your shoulder. Sadie! That was it, you chided yourself mentally. Mellie rushed up to you and flung her arms around your neck and pulled you into a crushing hug. “Hey Mel,” you and Clyde responded in unison, your voice airy as Mellie squeezed your breath from your chest. With your head tucked onto her shoulder as you returned her embrace, you looked back to acknowledge the rest with a smile and their respective name. “And you must be Miss Sadie, huh?” you inquired as you pulled away from Mellie and turned to the young girl, who looked remarkably like her father, with her nose and ears tipped red with the cold. 

“Yes ma’am!” she crowed, her hands dug into Jimmy’s short hairs. You noticed her hands clench on his hair and she dipped her head to glance at him for just a moment, a devious smile across her face. “And are you Uncle Clyde’s girlfriend?” Clyde choked behind you, and you glanced behind yourself to look up at him. He was pale white and glaring straight at Jimmy, who was desperately trying to insist he had nothing to do with his daughter’s question, however unconvincing his protests were. 

You didn’t blame him. Two months of living together, and you and Clyde had yet to define your relationship. You didn’t really mind it. You knew that putting it off would dull the sting of your eventual departure. But how could you even begin to explain that to a child? Oh no, not his girlfriend, just the girl he sleeps with, the girl he takes out, the girl he fucks. The girl who can’t commit. That wouldn’t do. So instead, you motioned for Sadie to jump off of her father’s shoulders, bent down to her height, took her hands in your own, and said, “Well yes, I am Clyde’s girlfriend.”

The stifled gasps of Mellie and Sylvia were almost silent to your ears as you glanced back at Clyde. He was still white as a sheet, but his eyes flicked from Jimmy’s to yours, and the hint of a smile began to break through his blank expression. You straightened to your full height and turned to face him, chewing your cheek. “That is, if that’s what you want,” you whispered, searching his face for a hint of how he might feel. 

Clyde’s next words were more a soft breath than a whisper. “Yes darlin’. I’d like that very much.” You beamed, and he slunk his arm around your waist, pulling you flush to his body and into a kiss so deep your heart just about stopped in your chest. 

You melted into his touch and sighed, your hands threading through his thick hair. His family, his friends, and the strangers that surrounded you melted from your consciousness, and not even the hoots and hollers of Clyde’s family drowned out the sound of your heartbeat thumping in your chest. It was perfect. 

A small clearing of a throat reminded you that you were, in fact, in public, and you hastily broke from Clyde, opting to rest the side of your face on his chest instead. Jimmy shook his head, chuckling at the scene before him. “Congrats you two lovebirds, glad y’all finally decided to make this thing official,” he whistled, lifting Sadie up in one swift motion to set her perched back upon his shoulder. Mellie reached out to squeeze your arm tenderly. You laughed. “Took us long enough, I guess.” Clyde hummed and squeezed you tight, his cheek resting on your head. 

“Welp,” Jimmy continued. “I promised Sadie here we’d go on the Ferris Wheel so we could see the stars. Y’all care to join us?” Clyde peered down his angular nose to look at you cross-eyed and raised his eyebrows. “What’dya say?” You grinned. “We’d love to.”

~~~

It was a joy to run around the festival with the Logan clan. Acting as your personal tour guide, Sadie babbled to you about her favorite things at the fair. She grabbed your hand to pull your attention to whatever she deemed worthy of pointing out. Sadie bragged how she was the reigning champ of the ring toss, and how she wasn’t tall enough to go on the Scrambler yet, but the moment she could she was going to ride it the whole festival, which was easy to believe given her tenacity and spunk. Mellie passed you a never-ending stream of warm winter drinks - ”Spiked if you’d like,” she’d wink - and Jimmy, Sylvia, and Joe were cracking jokes nonstop. But what really made the night perfect was Clyde. 

Your sweet Clyde. He held your hand in his mitt of a hand, squeezing it randomly, pulling you in for kisses both short and sweet, and long and deep. You were sure you would get dirty looks from the festival attendants after you nearly devoured each other on the Ferris Wheel, but you really couldn’t care less. Clyde teased you and you teased him back, keeping up a line of banter that was so easy. At one point in the night, the two of you found yourselves separated from the rest of the Logan clan, cozied up by yourselves in a booth. You both warmed your hands with a cup of hot chocolate cradled in your grasp. 

“You having’ fun?” Clyde murmured into your ear, his arm slung around your shoulder. You nodded into him and tucked yourself up into the nook of his shoulder. Clyde’s arm outstretched to grasp his mug and lifted it to his lips to take a huge swig. You palmed the warm beverage in your hand, feeling the warmth radiate through your body from where you held it, and where Clyde was pressed to your side. 

You gazed up at Clyde, your hands and heart warmed and full. Clyde smiled at you, his eyes falling softly to trace the features of your face. For how often he pouted, you had yet to see one flit across his face all night. Something flashed in his eyes, and before you knew it, Clyde’s finger was dipped into the mound of whipped cream atop his beverage and he snapped it up to your face to dollop it right on the end of your nose. “Hey!” you exclaimed, pushing away from his chest just a hair as a laugh bubbled up your throat. “You’re a menace,” you laughed, as you made no move to wipe the cream from your nose. 

Clyde snickered and you swatted at his arm, pulling a yelp that feigned offense from him. “What’s that for now? You look cute as hell with a lil’ nose decoration,” he shrugged as he squeezed your shoulder and jabbed your side with the metal tines of his prosthetic. You smiled at each other, your eyes hazy with bliss. Suddenly, his profile was illuminated and you could see a bright flash out of the corner of your eye. With squinted eyes, you turned to the source. 

A beaming Sadie, clutching a disposable camera in her small hands, sat across from the two of you in the booth. It seemed that not even the squeak of the vinyl as she had climbed into the booth was enough to pull your attention from the trance you were drifting through, and you both jumped at her arrival. 

“Scared the living daylight out of me,” Clyde sighed, his hand coming up to clutch at his heart with drama. 

“Sorry Uncle Clyde, but I couldn’t help it,” she whined, “You two looked so cute and cozy!” You scrunched your nose up and wiggled the tip. “How can I be cozy with this cream stuck on me?” Clyde laughed a low chuckle from deep in his chest that made him rumble against you. He leaned in and bumped his nose with yours. When he pulled away, a dot of whipped cream was left at the very end of his nose. He grinned. 

“Oh my gosh. This is such a good shot!” Sadie squealed. “Get close! Let me take another photo!” 

Clyde’s arm tightened around you and pulled you closer into his side. You were mid laugh when the second burst of light broke across your vision and the click of a camera made it feel as though time had halted. 

You knew that your time in Boone County was temporary. But you knew you would live with that memory forever. 

~~~

The lightest flecks of white tumbled through the air, catching on the light of the street lamps and stringed bulbs that were hung throughout the parking lot that acted as the festival's main drag. Most of the attendees had begun their individual treks home or had moved into the warm haven of the diner. Large fishbowl windows gave you view into the crowded establishment through clear, unfogged stretches of glass. The cheers and merry yells of toasts and memories being made rang out over the empty courtyard, ringing free until they were absorbed by the snow. 

Instead of being pressed up against the townsfolk or against the windows as your feet stumbled across the toes of others, you and Clyde were leaned against a tree across the courtyard of the festival. You gazed skyward, watching the small flakes of snow swirl through the sky. Music lilted through the air and fell lightly on your ears. A familiar chord rang through the air and  grabbed your attention. You felt a nudge on your side. You looked up to meet Clyde’s crinkled eyes as he gazed down at you. “Want to dance darlin’?” he murmured as he trailed his fingers up and down your arm. 

“Yes please Clyde.” He beamed back at you and took your hand in his as he pushed his back off of the tree. Snow crunched underfoot as you wandered to the dance floor. It was a small area of interlocked wooden panels, slightly obscured by a thin sheet of snow. Clyde offered his hand up to you in a grandiose gesture. A small laugh bubbled up in your chest as you slipped your hand into his, and he pulled you tight to his chest and began to sway.

Clyde’s voice rumbled against your face where it was pressed against his chest as he asked, “So whatcha think, sweetheart? Think Boone County can throw a good lil’ winter party?”

You nodded immediately. “Absolutely. This is so beautiful Clyde,” you sighed with content. A voice crooned over the speakers and the lyrics rang out over the courtyard. 

“Wise men say…”

“You look so perfect, you know that?” Clyde crooned, raising his hand to brush the side of your face with the tips of his fingers.

“... only fools rush in…”

“So do you, Clyde.”

“But I can’t help…”

It was warm in his arms. Secure. You felt as if you were in another plane of existence. Tucked in his arms, you were hidden from the world. Safe. 

“Falling in love with you.”

Clyde spun sharply with you in his arms, swiftly grabbing your attention. He looked down his long lashes at you, gazing deeply into your eyes with his intense amber gaze. “Sweetheart, I…” he cleared his throat, and lifted his hand to palm the side of your face again. He ran his thumb over your cheekbone. “I just want… You don’t have to say it back. But… I want to tell you…” he sucked in a sharp breath. 

“I love you.”

Your breath halted in your chest. Your stomach swooped. No one had made such an admission to you in… well, you weren’t sure just how long. Before you had a chance to admit that you were speechless, Clyde pulled you into a mind bending kiss. You melted into him. It wouldn’t matter what you said. You were his and he was yours. The snow fell silently around you, and the two of you swayed together quietly.

~~~

Have a winter drink! Thank you to my Irish friends (love y'all!) for direction on the recipe <3 my favorite suggestion was "Coffee+Whisky, add in other shite as it pleases ya". ~~~ My lil’ take on an Irish Coffee:

As much hot coffee as you'd like. As much whisky as you'd like. Brown Sugar to taste. Fresh whipped cream to top off. (HIGHLY recommend whipping your cream. My favorite way to do it is 1 c. heavy whipping cream, 1 c. sugar, and a splash of vanilla extract, whipped to peaks. Don't overmix though, don't make sweet butter!)

Combine the coffee, whisky, and sugar. Stir, and top with whipped cream. A dash of cinnamon over top never hurt anyone either!

~~~

Taglist: @mind-p0llution @thedivinemissm @clydesducktape @finn-ray-nal-beads @ladygrey03 @desiraypark @1800-fight-me @aloneandsleepless​ @hopeamarsu​ (Comment or message me to be added or removed!)

[jeonjk1998]

Before Us | Jungkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: college!au fuckboy!au bestfriends!au friendswithbenefit!au director!au tattoo!au piercing!au fluff!au smut!au angst!au

Wordcount: 4518 words

Summary: You and Jungkook has been best friends ever since the both of you were just a kid but you never expected to fall in love with him

Notes: I hope you like this fic! I know it’s clichè but I can’t help it haha, anyways I was hoping to write this into a fic someday but since I’m not good at writing, I’ll just leave it here as a draft

Masterlist

You were five years old when you first met him

You remember it was one summer when your parents brought you on a vacation along with their business partners’ family and that is where you met Jeon Jungkook

To be honest, you didn’t like him at all when you first met him, he was so full of himself and annoying sometimes

It’s not surprising that he’s acting like a spoiled child since his family are one of the richest family in the country and he literally can have anything he wants if he just names it

But that wasn’t just it, he and his friends, Jimin and Taehyung would always find a wat to prank you whenever your parents were not around

Despite all of that, you tried your best to make amends with him but it was no use, you ended up hating him even more

You honestly have no idea why would he keep bothering you or why is he always so rude around you

You just assume maybe because you were the only girl around here and he just didn’t want to hang out with you

But what you didn’t know is that Jungkook has the fattest crush on you and he just wanted your attention

Eventually, you got tired and stopped trying and that’s when things starting to get better

You even got along with the boys and surprisingly, your relationship with Jungkook has gotten so much better

You remember you even cried when you thought you didn’t enroll into the same high school as Jungkook

Sometimes your parents would even question if the both of you were in a relationship but you and Jungkook knew very well that it would never happen

You wouldn’t say that you’re not attracted to him, it was impossible to ignore that gorgeous boy and the fact that he has tons of admirer waiting in line for him

You never had a crush on him, you thought you did at one point but it turns out that you only find him attractive

You never told him before but you admired him a lot, especially when it comes to his passion, you respected how much effort he puts in towards the things he loves

You remember it was on his 12 years old birthday when his Grandfather gave him a video camera as his birthday present and ever since then, he would bring it along with him wherever he goes

Jungkook loves filming a lot, he’d even put you in his videos just so he could make it into a documentary, at least that’s what he said

He even attended classes so that he could improve his filming and editing skills

But before you could witness it, the both of you somehow just got drifted away from each other, it’s not like the both of you stopped hanging out with each other, you guys just have a different group of friends to be with

Jungkook became more popular and started to get involved with stuff like parties and sex but you weren’t surprised since he’s always so socially involved and outgoing

Just when you thought that Jungkook couldn’t get any more attractive, he became so much hotter

He started to go to the gym more often and he started to get more tattoos on his body or you just assume it’s because he became more cocky and confident

It wasn’t a lie that Jungkook was undoubtedly hot and gorgeous, even you couldn’t deny that he was hot as fuck

Sometimes you’d even catch yourself staring at his biceps while he was working out, it was no doubt that Jungkook has a great body

Although, you never know why he never dated before since girls would normally just throw themselves to him

He only said he didn’t like commitments and that it’s easier to just have sex and even though he can be a dick sometimes but he was also a genuinely nice guy

It was no different with you, you used to be this cute little girl that Jungkook used to have a crush on but for somewhat reason, puberty hit you like a truck and you got hot

You’d even caught Jungkook checking your ass out sometimes, all thanks to the pilates classes you took with your roommate

You’d be lying if you said you never thought about sleeping with your best friend before, anyone with eyes can see how attractive he is but you never did make a move and neither does he

God, if only you knew how much Jungkook wanted you that way

Ever since he started to get involved with sex, he has been thinking what would it be like to have you under him, screaming his name

It was obvious enough that the both of you were attracted to each other sexually but nothing ever happens

The both of you knew so well that your friendship was way too important to mess around with

You have to admit, it’s hard to hold back when you’re best friend is so damn attractive

Right now, you were trying so hard not to stare at the way Jungkook’s bicep is flexing while he was holding the huge camcorder in his hand

It reminded you back to the day when he told you that he got recruited into one of the most famous entertainment industry and now he’s working here

You were so happy for him and honestly, he deserves it, Jungkook was very talented in the things he does, especially when it comes to video production

As much as you love seeing him with his camcorder, you and Jungkook were supposed to be at Jimin’s party right now but you’ve been waiting for him for almost an hour and he’s still hasn’t done yet

God, your feet were killing you from wearing the Jimmy Choo heels that Jungkook bought for you on your birthday and you really don’t feel like waiting anymore

It didn’t take him long to wrap everything up when he saw how annoyed you get

To be honest, if it wasn’t for you, he wouldn’t be working for an extra hour

You have been distracting him the whole evening with that tight dress you’re wearing, wrapping around your ass so perfectly

When both of you arrived at Jimin’s place, he was already half-drunk

He then pulls you in for a drink before he grabs you in to play beer pong with him

You were sitting on the table beside the boys while watching them playing when Taehyung suddenly suggested that he wanted to play truth or dare

You never really like the game but since everyone is playing, you have not much of a choice but to say yes

Like always, you choose truth and it was Jimin’s turn to ask you “Who do you most want to sleep with, out of everyone here?”

He smirks at the question while he asks as he knew exactly what your answer will be but he just wanted to tease you

You then saw Jungkook was staring at you and you knew exactly what he was thinking since he already knew who was on your mind

Thanks to all the alcohol in your system, you didn’t hesitate as you blurted his name “Easy, Jungkook”

The boys cheered loudly at your answer and you saw Jungkook was smirking at you and god, you wanted so bad to wipe that cocky smirk off of his face

When you thought things couldn’t get any worst, it was then Jungkook’s turn and of course, he’d choose dare

You then saw Jimin whispered something to Jhope before he could give the dare, making him smile as he then blurted out “Make out with Y/N for 3 minutes”

Your heart instantly races at the thought of it when you saw Jungkook walks over to you

God, just when you thought Jimin couldn’t get anymore devious, here he is smirking at you, waiting to see the both of his friends eating each other out

The boys started wooing and cheering around as soon as Jungkook’s lips crash on yours

He hungrily kisses you as he pulls you closer to him, grabbing your thigh while giving it a tight squeeze which made you moan into the kiss

You then started rubbing yourself onto him when you felt his dick poking on your thigh

You almost forgot that there were still people around, watching the both of you making out until you heard people started murmuring around

You then quickly pull yourself away from him as you can feel how fast your heart is beating and how warm your cheeks were

Jungkook then smirks at you when he saw how tense you look

God, you wanted so bad to wipe off that cocky smirks from his face but why does it turn you on so much

You knew you’d eventually give in and there is no way you could hold it back, at least not after what just happened

You ended up fucking your best friend in the car and boy, it felt so good

You almost lost your shit when he turns you around, thrusting into you ruthlessly

He was stretching you out so nicely, you still couldn’t believe how you manage to stuff that huge cock inside you

Jungkook never thought he’d get to see you like this, to have you under him, screaming his name with his balls deep inside you

God, it’s still hard to believe that he’d get to fuck you like this, his favorite girl

He knows that things aren’t going to be the same after this but right now you’re the only thing he can think of

You thought things would be awkward after that night but it turns out you have nothing to worry about

You and Jungkook decided that it’ll be easier if the both of you become fuckbuddies

Although, it was quite awkward to do this when you weren’t drunk but you decided that you’ll make the first move and that’s when everything started to change

The both of you then became more and more comfortable around each other and started to have more frequent sex than usual

Like now, you were supposed to do some researching in the library but instead, you were hoisted up against the wall by Jungkook as he fucks you mercilessly

“You like that baby? You like my cock deep inside you?” You were trying to hold back your moans by biting on your lips when Jungkook rubbed his thumbs on your clit

You then slide your hand down to his back as you rake onto his broad shoulder, feeling how his muscle-flexing with every thrust he takes

“Jungkook I can’t, I have to go” You whine helplessly when he tries to convince you to get on with him for another round

“C’mon, I promise I’ll make you feel so good” God, it’s like no matter how many times you guys fuck, he just can’t seem to get enough of you

Honestly, the whole friends with benefits thing were starting to worry him

He was afraid that he might fall for you, he even thought of pushing you away, just like how he did when the both of you were still in high school but he can’t afford to lose you anymore

You were the most precious thing to him, you were everything to him

You have always been there for him throughout his toughest time and he couldn’t possibly ruin what the both of you already had

But little did he know, he has already fallen in love with you long before he knew it

Your friends weren’t blind, they knew what was going on between the both of you and they have been teasing you for so long about how you and Jungkook were head over heels for each other but you knew that wasn’t possible

Jungkook hated commitments more than anything and there is no way he would give up all the sex only to be with one girl

Although, you have to admit that you’ve been acting strangely around him ever since you caught your roommate sucking his dick

And seeing all those pretty girls that he works with trying to get Jungkook to dick them down didn't help at all and you really didn’t want to see any more of that

You were so done waiting for him, he was supposed to be at the gala right now since his parents were having a celebration tonight but as usual, his works keep him away so you had no choice but to go with him

God, you can’t look at him anymore and since he was so busy flirting around, you then decided that you’ll leave first

Jungkook was so confused when he saw you were leaving

Something was off with you, he didn’t know why are you so annoyed at him over these past few days and it’s starting to bother him a lot

God, it’s like there’s something wrong with you, you knew you’ve been acting like a brat around him lately but you just can’t help it

Of course, Jungkook wouldn’t let you go just like that, he’s been keeping up with your shit for days and he wanted to know why

“You sure you wanna keep acting like a brat baby girl?” You knew Jungkook was starting to get annoyed by your bratty attitude and you sure gave him a huge headache since you’ve been acting like a bitch

“Just leave me alone” You tried to shove him away but he’s not having any of that

“Only if you stop giving me that attitude” God, you’ve already had so much on your mind and he’s sure is starting to get on your nerves

“Make me” Your heart immediately races when you felt Jungkook lips crash on yours, kissing you roughly while he grabs onto your thigh, carries you up before throwing you on the bed

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard until you stop giving me that fucking attitude” You already know how this was gonna end and it’s not going to look pretty

God, he wasn’t lying, you can’t even remember how many times he made you came tonight

“Mum, don’t worry, we’ll be there soon, I promise” You can’t believe Jungkook would actually pick up the phone while he’s rutting into you

You then saw a smirk curve upon Jungkook’s lips when he saw how hard you’re biting your lip while trying to hold back your moans

Tears well up in your eyes when he speeds up his pace, thrusting into you faster

God, he’s fucking you so good that you kept cumming around his cock

Thank god your parents had already left for the gala, it was just you and Jungkook in the house

You can’t believe how late it already is when the both of you arrived at the gala

You then glared at Jungkook when you caught him smiling like it wasn’t a big deal

But you, on the other hand, was not even though you knew his parents wouldn’t mind at all since they were both very fond of you, they even said that they would love to have you to be their daughter-in-law

You were surprised when you saw your brother, Seokjin was here too since you didn’t expect him to be home anytime soon

God, you missed bim, it’s been such a long time since you last saw him

“Why are you wearing that ridiculous dress?” Was the first thing he said, you then ignore all the snickers from the guy and pouted at him

You knew your dress was quite revealing but truth to be told, your brother was just way too overprotective over you

“Hey hyung” Jungkook went in to hug him when he saw him, so does the rest of the guys

Just when you thought Jungkook would drop the conversation that the both of you had earlier this evening, he then brought it up again

“What’s going on?” You know he would never drop it if you don’t talk to him and you really didn’t want to have that conversation now

“Look, it’s not that big of a deal, I just... I accidentally walk in on you and Jinny when you guys were... “

“You know what? Forget about it, it’s not like you’re not allowed to sleep with anyone you want so...” God, you’ve never sounded so ridiculous before

Smiling at your response, he knew he was damned, he only hoped you didn’t hear how fast his heart is racing

How did he not realized that he was already falling for his best friend

He thought sleeping with other people would get you off his mind, but it didn’t

You were all he could think of when he’s with other girls

Ever since that night, you and Jungkook gotten more intimate with each other

He’d casually hold your hands in public and he’d showers you with lots of kisses and hugs just because he feels like it

Of course, you were aware of your feelings for him but you never wanted to talk to him about it, you were scared that he might just end things with you if you confess

But you were getting tired of it, girls would flirt with him whenever the both of you went out and they would ask if he’s your boyfriend and you hated it when you say no

What’s bothering you, even more, is there was this girl, Ivy, she works with Jungkook and they’ve been spending a lot of time together

She’s super pretty and nice, it’s hard to not like her even if you don’t want to but you had to admit that you didn’t like seeing them together

It’s obvious that Ivy has a crush on Jungkook and he knew it too

Sometimes you’d wonder if Jungkook likes her since he’s been telling you about how cool the girl is and how the both of them hit it off so well with each other

“Do you like her? Ivy?” It took you a lot of courage but you had to ask

“Yeah, she’s cool and fun, it’s hard not to like her I guess” You were trying so hard to fight back your tears when you heard what Jungkook said

“Let’s not do this anymore, us being fuckbuddies” You finally said it, although it hurts but it’s the right thing to do

“What? What are you saying? Is this about Tae? I know both of you have been hanging out a lot these days but you can’t tell me that you like the guy?”

You and Tae have indeed been hanging out a lot these past few days but it’s because he knows about your feelings towards Jungkook

What you didn’t expect is for Jungkook to react this way

“Why are you acting up? I thought you said you like Ivy?” Jungkook was confused, how can you not know that he’s in love with you, he was so obvious

“Are you serious right now? I can’t believe you would think that I like Ivy, I only meant it as a platonic way, for god’s sake, I’m in love with you, how can you not see that?”

You were taken aback by Jungkook’s confessions as you didn’t expect to hear him say that or that he’s in love with you

“Look, I thought you knew about it if I knew you hadn’t known I wouldn’t have-” You didn’t let him finish before you crashes your lips onto his when he grabbed the back of your neck to deepen the kiss

“God, you don’t know just how hard it is to not be in love with you” He murmurs out in the kiss which made you blushed

“Well, you’re not the only one who feels that way” Your heart races when you saw he was gazing at you with all smiles

God, you really do love the guy

Honestly, Jungkook was everything you could ever ask for, he’s been there for you for your whole life as your family, your friend and now your boyfriend

Things couldn’t turn out better than you hoped

Of course, you’ve dated before but nothing ever felt like him

Sure, both of you had your ups and downs but Jungkook was always the one who made it up to you even though it wasn’t his fault

To be honest, you thought it wasn’t possible to be able to love someone so much but he made that happen

“Five years old me could’ve been so proud of myself” It still gets you every time to think that Jungkook had a crush on you when you were four

You were supposed to meet up with your friends today but because of your clumsy boyfriend, you’re late

You can’t believe that he actually thought baking muffins would be fun, he even messes up the sugar and salt and made a mess in the kitchen

You know he just wanted to hang out with you since the both of you haven’t been able to spend much time together lately and he misses you

Even though you really wanted to hang out with your boyfriend longer but your friends would kill you if you bail on them since you’ve already made your promise that you’d come

Jungkook has been busy with work these past few weeks and sometimes you don’t even get to see him for days

You just assume that maybe he has a lot of work to do but it started to bother when he doesn’t even have the time for you anymore

You didn’t want to overthink but you’ve been seeing him with Ivy together a lot

Even though you know that they work together but you just can��t stop thinking about it

You remember there was this one time when you saw Ivy texted him while the both of you were watching a movie at his apartment and he just left, saying that he still has some unfinished work to do

You tried not to let it get into your head but it eventually came to a point where you couldn’t stand it anymore

You need to talk to him

You then decided that it’ll be much easier to go to his apartment and talk to him but you lost it when you saw Ivy there

Tears started to form in your eyes when you saw Jungkook came out from his room, almost half-naked while tugging down his shirt

“No... Baby, please listen to me” You ran away before Jungkook could even get a hold of you

He knew, he knew how much you dislike the girl and yet she’s there, in his apartment

You know you were being unreasonable right now but you just need to get out of there

It broke his heart to have to see you like this

The last thing he ever wanted is to see you cry

God, you weren’t supposed to be here, he was going to ask you to come over tonight so he could celebrate your birthday with you and now you’re not even answering your phone

He has been preparing for this for so long, he was so busy over these past few weeks because he wanted to give you a surprise

He literally spent a whole month making the video for you, it was your birthday gift

It was all the videos that he has been taking of you for all those years ever since he got his first camcorder

You practically sums up his whole life

God, and now he blew it

If only you knew Ivy was just there to help him out with the video

The guys were also there as well, they were at the rooftop helping Jungkook to set up the projector and the screen and some of the stuff that he bought from Ikea

He knew how much you like these kinds of things, you said it’s romantic

He just hoped that your friends would help him to get you over here tonight

You were supposed to be with Jungkook tonight but since you were too stubborn, your friends decided that instead, they’ll bring you out to celebrate your birthday and hopefully you’ll stop sulking

You were distracted the whole night as you couldn’t stop looking at your phone, hoping that you’ll at least get a message from him

Did he finally got tired of you?

The thoughts were slowly eating you up as you felt your tears starting to stream down your cheeks

“Oh god Y/N, please don’t cry” Your friends started to get nervous when they saw you were crying again

They were supposed to help Jungkook to surprise you but now you were asking for him

You weren’t supposed to see him now but you were crying so much and they have no choice but to bring you over, seeing how upset you are

“Baby why are here?” You couldn’t hold back your tears the moment you saw Jungkook and went in for a hug

“Hey, it’s okay” Jungkook then slowly pulls away from you, wiping your tears away “You’re okay” He then places a soft kiss on your forehead while caressing your face

“Come on, there’s something I want to show you” You were confused when Jungkook brought you up to the rooftop as you have no idea what is going on

You were soon in awe when you saw the rooftop was romantically decorated into a movie theatre

“Happy Birthday baby” Fireworks started launching in the sky as soon as Jungkook wishes you while he snakes his veiny arm around your waist

“Come here” Jungkook then held your hand as he led you towards the couch and pulls you down beside him before he turns on the projector

You couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw the video that Jungkook made for you, you thought those videos were far gone but you didn’t expect that Jungkook would keep it

“Why don’t you hate me?” Guilt starting to fill you up as you couldn’t believe how badly you’ve been behaving over these past few weeks only because Jungkook was so busy with your birthday surprise

“Where is this coming from? I thought I was going to get a kiss after this” Jungkook tries to joke with you as he didn’t want to see you looking like that

“You are... I just felt so bad for always lashing it out on you” Jungkook only chuckle at your response “I’m serious!” You whine only to make him smile at how adorable you are

“Baby, I’m your boyfriend, not a stranger, and can I please get a kiss already?” You smile at his response as you then lean in for a kiss

Jungkook then took his chance as he pulls you closer to him before you could run away

Honestly, it has always felt like this with him, you thought maybe, just maybe, you had already fallen for him long before you knew it