#but i think its good for Leo to see Raph have some emotions

[angelpuns]

Doing this all in front little Leo would put some negative energy on him as the "You're not wanted" or " these aren't your brother " vibes

O o f e d yep :/ Unfortunately he's gotten very used to compartmentalizing all this stuff lately so he probably will not be bringing it up to anyone anytime soon :)

Though it is gonna be a pretty impactful motivator for him to 'get back to normal' sooner rather than after, even if it could somehow go wrong ;)

[dandylovesturtles]

havin' all these Splinter and Leo thoughts. augh.

this is partly the fault of @/turtleblogatlast's post about Leo just wanting to make Splinter proud.

post-movie

...

Seven days post-invasion, and Leo is feeling (relatively) pretty good. Sure, he's still on a truly ridiculous amount of painkillers and he can't walk two steps without collapsing, but he's able to stay awake and talk to his family and considering where he thought he would be right about now, well... that's everything.

So yeah, he's feeling pretty good. He just finished his lunch of soup and a protein shake, warm and a little drowsy while he listens to April talk about some of the more ridiculous conspiracy theories that have started spreading on the surface. Donnie's tinkering with one of his smaller inventions while he listens, Mikey is nestled in Raph's lap, and everything is calm and cozy in their makeshift medbay.

And then his dad walks in and says, "I would like to talk to Blue, please. Alone."

And suddenly Leo doesn't feel so good anymore.

"Aha, wait," he says quickly, reaching out and grabbing April's sleeve just before she rises from her chair. "Whatever it is, you can say it in front of everyone, right?"

Splinter shakes his head. "This is a conversation I think it is best we have in private." He makes a shooing motion at the others, and April pulls her sleeve from Leo's fingers with a helpless shrug.

"See ya in a few, Leo," she says, then walks out. The others look from Splinter, to him, then back to Splinter, and one by one they each get up and shuffle out, too, with their own hasty farewells.

Traitors, every single one of them.

The door closes, and Leo finds himself alone with Splinter for the first time since coming back from Staten Island. Or at least, the first time he can remember. He was pretty out of it the first few days; most of what he remembers is muddled and confused. And embarrassing. He cried a lot more than he'd care to admit.

Splinter hops into chair April was sitting in and pulls it closer; he has to stay standing to be anywhere near eye level with Leo. He wishes he could read Splinter's face, but his expression is giving nothing away. Sometimes it's easy to forget he spent a not-insignificant part of his life as an actor, until something like this happens.

Leo decides to speak before he can. Head him off at the pass, or something.

"If you're going to yell at me, just remember my eardrums are already damaged."

Which is true - turns out being 1, too close to an exploding alien spaceship and 2, getting punched in the head repeatedly by an alien very mad about said exploding spaceship is bad for the ears, even when you don't have outer ears like a human. So super loud noises are a bad idea right now, and thus Leo cannot be yelled at. Flawless logic; maybe he can keep using that every time he gets in trouble.

For the first time, his dad's expression shifts, just a little. A deeper frown, a heavier set to his brow.

"You think I came in here to yell at you?"

Leo feels his stomach twist. Does he have to spell it out? "I mean, didn't you? That's usually what kicking everyone else out is leading up to."

"I see..." Splinter is still unreadable, looking a little too intensely at Leo. "And what do you think I want to yell at you about?"

He really does want it spelled out. Leo suddenly realizes that there won't be any yelling because this is his punishment: to admit everything he's done, to speak all his sins for his dad's ears. Lay it all out in his own tongue and show that he understands, really and truly, the depths of his screwups.

Oh, he understands. He understands it so well he may choke on the words.

"...For losing the key," he says finally, and it stings on its way out. He hasn't talked about it since it happened; every time he tries to say anything to the others, they shush him, saying, "It's okay, Leo, everything is fine now."

It's not okay, and everything isn't fine, and this is when he finally hears about it.

Finally, an identifiable emotion on Splinter's face: horror, dawning clear and present. And Leo doesn't understand that, because doesn't Splinter know he lost the key? He was there for that conversation, wasn't he? Leo's memories of that day have grown a little hazy between the drugs and the recovery and the fact that thinking about it for too long makes him go fuzzy around the edges, but he's pretty sure he remembers Splinter being there. He flicked popcorn at Leo's head. He probably should have done more than that; maybe then Leo wouldn't have made such a mess of things.

Splinter doesn't say anything right away, just stares at Leo with that horrified expression, and the silence is so scary that Leo starts filling it without even thinking.

"I was kidding about the whole... not yelling at me thing. I know I deserve it. I mean, I was fooling around, doing what you and Raph told me not to do, and I doomed the whole world doing it! Some leader I am, right? And I know I'm not exactly your favorite son to begin with, and that's fair, because I keep letting you down, but this is definitely my worst screwup to date, and you yell at me when I don't close the fridge door all the way or throw balls around the TV room so why wouldn't you yell at me for destroying the planet, right...?"

His voice peters out at the end, too hoarse to continue. That's the most words he's strung together over the last week, and for the first time he's glad for his injuries, for stopping him from spewing any more embarrassing word vomit just to fill the air.

Splinter is still looking at him with that same horrified expression. If anything, he just looks more upset, which means that Leo at least accomplished his goal.

Leo's waiting for the yelling to start, but when Splinter finally says something, it's, "You think I have a favorite son?" throwing Leo for a loop once again.

"Uh, yeah?" he says, because that's all there is to say. He's always assumed it's Donnie - the "funny one", the one who fixes Splinter's TV when it's broken, and the only one of them likely to get a real job and move out of the house. But even if it's not Donnie, it's gotta be Mikey, or Raph. His brothers are amazing and talented, and all Leo has ever been good at is winning the Lair Games.

Splinter closes his eyes a moment, and when he opens them his face moves back to a more neutral expression. "I do not have a favorite son," he says, firm and serious. "I love all of you just the same."

Leo thinks that can't be true - if it is, he feels bad for the other guys. But he doesn't think he can just say that, so he says, "Yeah, Dad, of course," instead.

Splinter looks a bit crestfallen. "You don't believe me?" he asks, and shoot. Leo has no idea how to respond to that.

"...I know you love us," is what he says. And that's true, it is! He just doesn't know how his dad could like him as much as the others.

Splinter's expression turns sad. He reaches out and lays a furry hand on Leo's arm, careful of his bandages and all the many wires he's hooked to. "You think you doomed the world?"

"I lost the key," Leo repeats. "It was all my fault. It's why I had to..." His voice fumbles over the words, and he revises. "It's why it had to be me."

Splinter's mouth twists. He climbs out of the chair and onto the mattress, careful not to jostle Leo as he settles down on his knees.

"Blue," he says softly, gently palming Leo's face this time. "None of this was your fault."

Leo's stomach twists again. He thought he was being punished, but somehow this is worse.

"Yes it was," he argues. "I lost the key," for the third time, "and... and I ignored the order to retreat, and got Raph captured, and and and, I ignored the guys and tried to force our way into Metro Tower, and it was me who told Donnie to try to fly that stupid ship, and because of me Mikey had to-"

"Leonardo," says Splinter, sharp, and Leo goes silent. His dad looks devastated, but he keeps his hand on Leo's cheek, brushing with his thumb, and for the first time Leo realizes his skin is wet. Splinter sighs heavily, his entire frame seeming to droop with the weight of it.

"Leonardo," he repeats, softly this time. "You did not doom the world."

"But-"

A furry finger on his lip quiets him.

"You did not doom the world," Splinter repeats, once again firm and serious. "You did not take the theft of the key seriously, because you did not know what it was, the threat it represented. But it was the Foot Clan who chose to use that key, fully knowing what evil it would unleash. That is not on you, my son. The responsibility falls squarely on them."

Leo doesn't know how much he can believe that - isn't it their job to stop the Foot Clan? But Splinter looks so sure as he says it, and his hand is still tender on Leo's cheek, and for the first time a little bit of doubt seeps into Leo's heart, telling him that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't all his fault after all.

But still...

"Even if that's true," he says, with heavy emphasis on the if, "everything I did after that-"

"You are young," his dad interrupts. "You are inexperienced. You are learning. And the amount of growth you showed us all, even over just that one day... You shined as brightly as I know you can."

Again, Leo's stomach does a twist - but it's a happier one, this time. Splinter's voice is sincere, leaving no room for doubt, and Leo can almost, almost believe that this is true, that his dad has believed in him from the very beginning. Has seen something in him, whatever it was that led him to make Leo the leader, that lead to him putting trust in Leo.

He just wishes he felt like he'd done more to earn it.

"You did not doom the world," says his dad again. "You saved it. But, it never should have been like that to begin with. You should never have been facing down such a fierce foe so young, especially as alone as you boys were. And you-"

His voice becomes choked up, and Leo's heart lurches.

"You... sacrificed yourself to save us all. I... I am your father, and I... could not protect you."

He's crying. His dad is crying, and Leo feels panic, reaching out to try and stop this.

"Dad-"

"No." Splinter holds up a hand, giving his head a hard shake. "All I ever wanted for you boys was to save you from the sacrifices asked of our family. And yet I could not - and for that, you paid dearly. You almost paid the ultimate price, and we almost lost you forever."

A thick knot forms in Leo's throat, and he can barely get out, "I'm okay, Dad, I'm here."

"Yes you are." Splinter squeezes his shoulder desperately. "You are here. You are safe. But that doesn't change that it should not have been you to begin with."

Leo watches in dawning horror as Splinter steps back, then kneels over on the mattress.

"This is why I came in here, Blue. Not to yell at you. To apologize."

He presses his forehead against the sheets.

"I am so sorry that I could not protect you."

He's crying. So is Leo, openly now. He reaches out for his dad, fumbling for his shoulders and urging him to straighten up.

"No, Dad... This wasn't your fault!"

"But-"

"No! It was just... it was just a really, really shitty thing that happened, okay? It was the Foot Clan, and the Krang, but it wasn't- it wasn't..."

Splinter raises his face and looks at him, and suddenly the words he's been trying to get Leo to believe for the last several minutes barrel into him and Leo crumbles.

"...I didn't have to do it," he says.

"No." Splinter gets up, coming closer. "You had nothing to atone for. You did it because you are brave, and you are kind, but this was never yours to fix."

Leo sucks in one harsh breath, then another, and then he's sobbing harder than he ever has in his life, and his dad hugs him tight, his arms warm and his fur soft where Leo buries his face in his shoulder.

All the feelings he's pushed aside - the ones he didn't think he had the right to feel, because he'd had to do it, he had to make up for his mistakes - bubble over, gripping him with grief and despair but also relief, that he's still here to cry and be hugged by his dad.

"I was so scared."

"I know."

"I thought I wouldn't see you guys again."

"I know. We thought we had lost you, too."

"I just... I didn't know what else to do... I couldn't let him... I couldn't..."

"Shhh, it's alright. It's over now. We're all safe."

Leo hugs his dad back, as tightly as he can with his injuries, and sobs and sobs until he's all out of tears. And all along, his dad tells him he is safe, he is good, and he is loved.

Later, Leo feels even better than he had before.

[imababblekat]

Chase

Anon Request, “Funny ask here! An expert free runner (jumping from building to building) catches the turtles on camera. The boys planned to do the same intimidation act like with April but are shocked when they jet off managing to keep a good distance. Then once they think they have them cornered on a construction site the boys fall through the building roof landing in waist high wet concrete. Looking down at them the runner blows them a kiss before taking off. (P.S. their cool though and just keep the photo as a momento)How do the 4 react to seeing them again when they literally bump into each other on the rooftops?”

 ◌ Part Two ◌

~xXx~

You hadn’t intentionally meant to take a picture of the turtles. If anything it was their fault they ended up in your shot. After finishing a course you’d been aiming at for over a week, you thought it’d be a great moment to capture, but hadn’t expected to catch anyone else in the background of your roof top photo. Much less those anyone’s being four mutant ninja turtles. It was the squak of surprise at the sudden flash of your mini Polaroid that alerted you to them.

Seeing the turtles left you somewhere between an intriguing shock and confused fear, even if seeing one of them rapidly rub at their flashed eyes while over exaggerate about how they burned did indeed give you a little giggle. There wasn’t much time to process the whiplash of emotions however, as one of them, clad in red and quite burly out of the bunch, came marching your way. Not a word had a chance of making its way from their lips, as your body did what it was trained so hard to do, making a mad dash across the old market roof top. Just like that, the four brothers found themselves in a sudden grand chase. “Great job, Raph!”, Leo snapped at said aggravated terrapin, making easy work of hopping over a fenced roof. “I ain’t even do anythin’! It’s your fault!”, Raph retaliated, vaulting over some exterior vents. “Oh, and how is that exactly?!” “You’re the one who gave us the all clear!” Bouncing from wall to wall as the group followed you down into an old parking garage Donnie interjected between the two argumentative brothers. “Guy’s is now really the time?! We kind of have something urgent on our hands.” “Yeah! Like how I can’t see their sick moves because my eyes are still having a disco party!”, Mikey continued to blink rapidly, nearly missing the open edge if not for Donnie giving him aid with his staff. Rolling his own eyes, Leo brushed off the youngest, keeping track of your movements as you scaled your way into a construction building across the way. “Come on, let’s get this over with. There’s no where to go past that building, we’ll catch them there.” All the years of free running across New York, you’d never felt as thrilled as you did now. Sure, it was still terrifying in a way being chased by four giant creatures who were quite nimble despite their enormous size, but you had to be honest in the way their pursuit brought on an adrenaline like no other. They put your skills to the test in a way you could never personally do yourself, and as you swung from a bar into another construction building, you felt elation rush through your body. At least, till you found yourself caught in between a rock and a hard place, staring at a concrete solid wall with no where to escape. Hearing the collective sounds of heavy foot falls, you quickly turned around to find the four beings surrounding the only path you’d have of escape. Seeing the glares upon their faces, your racing heart now beat rapidly for a different reason. Taking a moment to even his breathing, Leonardo stepped forward, watching your reactions carefully. “We’re not going to hurt you. Just. . .don’t scream.”, he spoke as calmly as he could, hands raised to show he had no misleading intentions. You said nothing, just continued to take control of your own breathing as your eyes shifted between him and his brothers. “I’m Leonardo, and these are-“ “I’m Michelangelo, but you can just call me Mikey!”, the orange banded turtle cut in, shoving past his brother and winking at you. “The guy in purple is Donatello, and the one in red who mean mugged you is Raphael! What’s your name angel? I say angel, because there’s no way you could have crossed those alleyways so eloquently without a pair of wings~.” “Mikey!”, all three other brothers shouted in unison. “What?!” With a light groan, Donnie reminded him of their current objective. “We’re here to get the photo. Not you a love interest.” “Oooooh right, the photo!” Your eyes shifted from Raphael, back to Mikey as he moved closer, three fingered hand reaching out. Sifting into your pocket it didn’t take long to pull out the small square picture. Despite it being exposed and grainy in some parts, the tangibility of the photo and the story it now held caused a surprising sorrow in your heart to have to depart with it. Yet, gazing back up to the four mutants before you, you understood why they’d want it. With the way you reacted, who could imagine how others might to their discovery. You met Mikey half way, extending your own hand to give him the small photo, fingers lightly brushing the other. All of a sudden, a loud crack was heard, and all five of you stood frozen. Before anyone could blink, the floor caved in, the four brothers descending down into dust and debris, and you with quick reflexes pressing tight back against the concrete wall. Once the clouded air had settled, you quickly peaked over into the newly established hole, a surge of worry for the ninja quartet. Relief washed through as you caught sight of the brothers who had landed in a mucky puddle, most likely sore from the fall but seemingly fine otherwise. As the boys groaned and started another round of arguing with one another, you suddenly remembered the photo and quickly checked your closed fist to find it still there. Carefully bringing the picture before you to look at once more, a thought had emerged. This was the most fun you had in long time, the most alive you’ve felt in a while. Recalling the kind smile Mikey had given you and Leo’s mindful approach as to not frighten you, you considered the growing idea in your mind even more. Making up your mind, you gently tucked the photo back into your pocket with a gleeful grin. You swore to yourself that night to never show anyone that picture, but as long as you held on to it, you knew you’d eventually wind up seeing the turtles again. With that, you skipped from the tiny ledge along the wall, and whistled to catch the turtles’ attention. “Bye boys! It was nice meeting you!” Loud shouts and scrambling could be heard as each one clambered over the other, slipping back and forth into the deep puddle in an effort to get up and to you, but by the time they’d get themselves straightened out, you’d be long gone with anticipating hope of the next chase.

~xXx~

[untitled-tmnt-blog]

Now that 2024 is coming to a close:

1) Of everything you've made this year, which ones are you the most proud of?

2) What are a few of your favorite things (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

As far as my own stuff, I would have to say:

This Hide and Seek animatic -- I love making animatics, but they end up taking me a LONG time! That does mean that when I finally finish one though, it's very rewarding to see the full thing!

This scene, for the rottmnt cut intro project -- It's a short scene, but was a lot of fun to do! I also think it shows how much I've improved, even from my first scene for this same project.

This hardcopy of IMBI -- I'd never tried bookbinding before, but I had so much fun learning how and was really happy with how it turned out!

These mixed media collages -- It was one of my first times experimenting with mixed media, and I think they ended up looking pretty cool! Plus, just like the others... I had a lot of fun with it! (I suppose it makes sense that my favorite pieces are kind of just the ones I had the most fun doing, huh?)

And then, for other people's stuff... I'm sorry, but I'm just so indecisive! I have to at least pick a few things from each category!

"Long" Comics:

Here There Be Turtles (by @theelvishfiddler) -- This is hands-down one of the most impressive fan comics I've ever seen! Not only does it have incredible art, but the characterization is spot-on, and the storyline is so engaging that I am absolutely dying to see what happens next after every single update! I've seen people saying that the quality is even better than the official comics, and... yeah, no doubt about it, it really is! This comic is INSANELY good!

You've Been Portal Jacked! (by @wickcipher) -- This comic has such an interesting premise, with an artstyle that I love and SO much potential! I was immediately hooked by the first chapter, and was so excited to see it continue! Very much looking forward to seeing where things go from here!

"Short" Comics:

This Raph comic (by @e-turn) -- Raph and Leo tug at my heartstrings sooooo much! And the effect of Raph's time spent under the krangs' control is something that I never get tired of seeing explored. He loves his brothers so much, and would never EVER want to hurt them... but now he has these memories of himself doing exactly that, and those memories are just so much at war with who he is as a person, and AAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!! I love it.

This Splinter comic (by @charcoaldustonmyfingers) -- THE EMOTIONS. I enjoy seeing this one every time it crosses my dash, and it has yet to lose its impact. Splinter loves his boys so much!!

This alternate movie ending, and part 2 (by @magisav) -- Beautiful, and heartbreaking. Both at the same time. The look on Leo's face is ingrained in my memory forever.

This Firefight fan comic (by @sludge-city) -- This one is such a well-done adaptation of some of the most emotional moments in this incredible fic! It was heartbreaking enough reading it the first time, and seeing those emotions depicted on Leo and Donnie's faces ripped my heart to shreds.

This redrawn IDW scene (by @purplepixel) -- The redrawn panels are beautiful, and I love the coloring! But also... man, this hurts so much knowing what comes next! Donnie, nooooo!

Multi-Chapter Fics:

Emotional Support Water Bottles (by @dandylovesturtles) -- This series is easily one of my favorites! Poor Leo goes through so much... and yet even when it's over, that kind of experience will undoubtedly leave some scars behind. Not physical scars, but very real nonetheless, and I've loved seeing Leo and his family try to navigate their way through that.

Firefight (by @remedyturtles) -- A true classic, at this point. With probably some of the most intensely emotional scenes I have ever read. Highly recommend, if you can handle that level of hurt before the comfort!

DFL's Whumptober 2024 (by @daflangstlairde-art) -- Technically a series of fics, which are unrelated to one another. But they are related in one important way: making me FEEL THINGS. Each one is so well-written, and I've been hooked all the way from the first fic to the last!

Oneshots:

The Shadows May Go (by @remedyturtles) -- This fic. THIS FIC. It made me cry. Splinter loves his sons so much, and even in his darkest moments (perhaps especially in his darkest moments), Leo knows that.

Now the Darkness Comes Alive (@goodlucktai) -- The role-reversal that I didn't know I needed. It's beautifully written, and like I said, Raph and Leo tug at my heartstrings so much! I started drawing something for this fic a while back, and desperately want to finish when I have some more free time on my hands again!!

Bed Sheets (by @dandylovesturtles) -- Splinter is not a perfect parent, by any means. But he loves his sons so much!! This fic is practically the embodiment of those two things, and it makes me emotional every. Single. Time.

Art:

This drawing of April and Karai (by @darkpolicepsycho) -- absolutely beautiful!! I love how you can just feel the power of Karai's ninpo flowing through April.

This drawing of Raph with cherry blossoms (by @pelmenya-owo) -- soooooo pretty!!! The colors. The lighting. I cannot possibly overstate how gorgeous this drawing is!!

These Undertale-style drawings of April, Raph, Leo, Donnie, and Mikey (also by @pelmenya-owo) -- I've never played Undertale, but I love these little animations so much!! Very cool.

This drawing of Samurai Leo (by @kathaynesart) -- I showed this drawing to my husband, and he immediately asked for it on a T-shirt. It is PHENOMENAL.

This Hollow Mind drawing (by @grey-viridian) -- I haven't read the fic that this is from yet, but oh man, the emotion in this scene!! Family protecting family. I love it so much.

This drawing of Leo (by @oh-lordy-lord-save-me) -- The colors. The colors!! The absolutely STUNNING colors!!!

This TNV art (by @windide-blog) -- I'll admit, I still need to read TNV. But even without context, the scene depicted here is amazingly well-done! I can only hope to be able to draw scenes as beautiful as this one day.

This art of Leo falling through the sky (by @sad-leon) -- The background is beautiful. The imagery is beautiful. The animation is beautiful. All around: beautiful.

This drawing of FMA Sprout, plus this one (by @intotheelliwoods) -- I just love these so much! Brotherhood is probably my favorite anime, and man, Sprout makes a great Edward Elric.

This drawing for the Turtles Together zine (by @andva-ri) -- This one has everything. Splinter. April. Draxum. Big Mama. The turtles, of course! I love all the different scenes, and how seamlessly they come together into an absolutely gorgeous art piece! This is a level of skill that I can only hope to one day come close to reaching!

This drawing, also for the Turtles Together zine (by @staticwither) -- Just look at those bright, beautiful colors! Truly incredible. This scene was already great in the finale, but this art piece somehow manages to take that energy and multiply it tenfold! It's beautiful.

This drawing of Leo with water lilies (by @tangledinink) -- I absolutely LOVE the paint-like style of this one! The level of detail on this is insane, and it's just downright one of the most beautiful art pieces I think I've ever seen. I want it on a throw blanket.

This Kingdom Hearts AU drawing (by @boxfullaturtles) -- I have very minimal knowledge of Kingdom Hearts. But even without that context, this drawing is just SO GOOD! I love the stained-glass design! And the way all the characters are in their own circles, and Leo's head is lined up inside of one as well, but continues down into a full-body drawing. Gorgeous.

AUs:

Posessed AU (by @grey-viridian) -- Such an interesting premise!! It somehow manages to be absolutely heartbreaking, but also so much fun at the same time.

Tiz Sep AU (by @tizeline) -- I love the comic. I love the characterizations. I was hooked on this AU from the moment Leo starting infodumping about Sonic! But also, Mikey campaigning for president of the multiverse while Donnie works against him was perfection. I just love seeing these characters do literally anything, because they're just so enjoyable to watch!

"The Besties" (2AL by @intotheelliwoods & SLAU by @dianagj-art) -- I'm aware this is like, an AU crossover within an AU kind of situation, but man is it so much fun! And also, so much more emotional than you'd expect turtle multiverse shenanigans to be.

Animations:

Rottmnt Restored (by @emichen88 & @powerauerart) -- Incredible. Amazing. Phenomenal. Astounding. 100% would watch again and again and again.

This JJK WIP (by @seasaltcosmos) -- I don't care if it's unfinished, I LOVE this!!

That was... slightly more than "a few." And I'm sure I still forgot some. I could go on and on about all the awesome stuff people here have made, but I had to cut it off somewhere!

[lara-cairncross]

Hi! how are you? I hope fine!

I wanted to know if you could recommend me some Mikey angst fanfics. I feel like I've read them all and at the same time I haven't, hehe.

Love your fairy AU its verry beautyful

(My english is not the best 😅)

heya! i'm glad you like the au :D

I can definitely give u some recommendations for michelangelo fanfics! can't guarantee you haven't read them already, but hopefully a few of them are novel. also gonna tag @roronoacoldbrew, @desterea, and @appleblondie0397, cuz y'all asked for some mikey recs too!

I'm not gonna include all my recs, cuz that would take ages, but I DO have a collection on Ao3 that has like, ~250 entries. and they're 90% mikey-centric, sooooo there's a lot more there! it's linked at the bottom of this post :D

i'll be your detonator -> rottmnt, 4k one-shot, oh my god this fic/series deserves so much more attention. bad future timeline, follows Mikey being THE coolest motherfucker while having several mental breakdowns and arguing with Leo and missing his brothers a lot. the writing style of this author is probably my favorite on this entire list-- like, I would read a novel written like this!!! please read it oh my GOD. and then message me to tell me you read it so I can have somebody to talk about it with I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH

atrophy -> 2012, 36k two-shot. ohhhhh boy this one is NOTHING but angst. follows Mikey reflecting on his life and his relationships with his brothers, right before a suicide attempt. second chapter is his brothers reflecting on their relationships with him as they try to save his life. if I'm being honest, the language is a little too flowery for my taste at certain points? but it's also VERY visceral and graphic, and if you're looking for angst this is literally as angsty as it gets!! like seriously check the tags on this one

1660 days ago -> rottmnt, 4k one-shot human au that isn't exactly mikey-centric?? but basically, follows Donnie's POV after he, Raph, and Leo all die in their family home and stay behind as ghosts. Mikey is a little kid who moves in and is the only one who can see them, and they all begrudgingly adore him. ITS SO CUTE AND IT NEEDS MORE ATTENTION PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

over the rainbow -> 2012 x rottmnt, by @vanillavengeance! I think a lot of people have read their other fic (which is also amazing and definitely recommended), but their most recent one is SO GOOD ALREADY and it deserves more attention. Rise!Mikey opens a portal as a tot, falls straight into the 2012 verse, and gets found by Karai-- so he ends up in the hands of the Foot Clan! SUCH good Mikey angst and the relationship between 2012 Raph and Rise Mikey is absolutely adorable, I love them so much :,) 2012 RAPH IS SUCH A BIG BROTHER AND I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT

house away from home -> 2012, AuDHD Mikey rep!! and also anxiety and self-esteem issues and dysfunctional family activities and swufhehnfenhhjrr HEY I LOVE THIS FIC but it does. hit a little close to home. REALLY WELL WRITTEN AND FANTASTIC EMOTIONAL ANGST THO! and also Woody is here :D completed, but the author has it listed as 3/4 chapters, so don't be scared off by that!

choose wisely (or at all) -> rottmnt, 8k one-shot, turtle tots!!! this one is SO CUTE omg-- basically, Mikey is his brothers' favorite playmate, but because he's so little all three of them just kinda??? make him play whatever they wanna play? LIKE ok it's hard to explain but it's literally just a fic about little kids messing around and how being the youngest sibling sucks and learning to speak up for urself and it's PERFECT. THIS IS MY COMFORT FIC. its sweet its fluffy its (slightly) angsty and i love it dearly!!!!

stalling -> 2012, 1k one-shot. VERY short but pure Mikey angst. he stays behind to fight Shredder to give his human siblings time to escape and warn the other turtles :,)

walk with open hands -> 2012, 10k two-shot by @goodlucktai. Mikey gets his hands on one of Renet's time-traveling clocks after Splinter dies, and jumps around the timeline to try and save him. takes some really cool cues from Rise!Mikey's powers! GOD I CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS FIC ENOUGH. like this altered my brain chemistry the first time I read it.

--actually now that I think about it. basically ANYTHING BY THIS AUTHOR IS AMAZING. so much fantastic 2012 Mikey-centric stuff!!! you do have to go back to their older works, since most of their recent fics have been about Rise Leo-- but it's worth it! a few of my other favorites by them are:

the entire give up the ghost series -> 2012 human au where Donnie dies, Mikey is the only one who can see him, and he becomes a paranormal investigator in college because of it;

problem child -> 2012 human/highschool au that's basically 100k words of the 2012 boys fucking around and being family and overcoming difficulties together and Mikey being the most annoying lovable golden-retriever ray of sunshine to ever exist;

traveling so far to get there -> 2012 one-shot where Mikey and Raph end up in a post-apocalyptic world and just kinda,,, chill? until they don't. idk how to explain it but it's really fun, I love how Mikey and Raph's dynamic is written here :D

either way, we're not alone -> rottmnt, 16k one-shot that takes place over the course of the Kraang invasion in the bad future timeline, all from Mikey's POV. another one that doesn't have NEARLY as many hits as it deserves oh my god-- I love love love fics that take a look at this timeline and how fucked up it was! and this is a rly nice mikey-centric one :)

promise -> rottmnt, 8k two-shot by @dysfunctional-doodle. Listen this author has so many amazing Mikey fics from basically every iteration, BUT. THIS ONE. THIS FIC IN PARTICULAR. IS ABSOLUTELY MY FAVORITE. follows Mikey in the good timeline as he grows his mystic powers, with the caveat that he starts seeing visions of the future. I ain't spoiling anything more than that but GOD plz read this one it makes me insane, and the second chapter??? HEARTBREAKING the angst is 10/10. I also really really love this fic by the same author, so that's another one I recommend checking out if you haven't read it before!

big siblings, big family -> 2012, 2k one-shot. this one's pretty short BUT ITS SO CUTE. Mikey gets sick with a virus that only infects mutants, so all his human siblings get to take care of him-- featuring big brother Casey and big sister April and big sister Karai, and hey. hey what if I screamed. i love this concept so much THOSE ARE HIS BIG SIBLINGS!!! AND HE'S THEIR LITTLE BROTHER!!!! this makes me so happy, not super angsty but Mikey does get REALLY sick so you can count it as hurt/comfort :D

orenjinohana -> rottmnt, currently 120k+ words by @geoblitzz and @urlocalllama!! this fic is SO fucking angsty and delicious and terrifying,,, like I would get sick to my stomach with anxiety whenever a new chapter dropped. Mikey catches the eye of a really dangerous yokai and gets kidnapped, abuse and gaslighting and angst ensue. you gotta be especially careful with the tags/trigger warnings on this one tho-- not gonna spoil too much, but things get dark. this fic isn't complete, but it's reached a very natural end to its first arc in my opinion? so you can finish it without feeling like you've read an incomplete fic :) also check the comment section on every chapter if u wanna see me going insane I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH

the better half of better things -> 2012, 4k one-shot, ITS SO FUCKING CUTE. Mikey and Leo hanging out at 3am, Leo comes out as transfem to Mikey, sibling bonding ensues. this is another author that I LOVE the writing style of, but this time it's more for their humor??? like the comedic timing in their fics is SO GOOD. this fic in particular is my favorite but they've written some really fun Rise ones too! not angsty at all but as the CEO of baja blast duo I needed to include it lmao

wanting, getting, needing -> rottmnt, 2.5k one-shot. Mikey dies saving Leo during the events of the movie, and everything kinda falls apart without him. this one's pretty short but ngl I LOVE this concept, Mikey is always depicted as the heart of the team in every iteration so it's super fun to see what happens when he's no longer there!

remember your mission -> 2012, 60k words. IT'S A FUCKING MIKEY-CENTRIC PACIFIC RIM AU. I love this fic to death. it's got ANGST it's got COMFORT it's got SIBLING BONDING it's got,,,, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. but also the sillies being silly!!! anyway the ending broke me. read this one at ur own risk but like,,, DO ACTUALLY READ IT LMAO and then. once again. yell at me that you did so I can talk to somebody about it. Mikey being able to drift with basically any of his family members??? and the four main boys all being interchangeable because they're just THAT close????? perfection

someone to protect -> 2012, 3k one-shot. Mikey's brothers get turtlenapped during a mission that goes wrong, he gets to be a badass and rescue them, and ends up getting seriously injured in the process. hurt and comfort! yay!

our hearts beat louder (than thunder) -> rottmnt, currently 5k words by @belleyells and still being updated as far as I know! Mikey gets injured during a battle and loses his memory; cue older brothers being worried sick and trying to prevent Mikey from freaking out and being scared of them. I'm so excited to see where this one is going!! it's angsty, but Mikey with memory loss is also just,,, really fun to read about in my opinion ahdhehfhrh

the night at rucker park -> rottmnt, 78k words. Shellshocked fic!!! honestly, one of the few Mikey/Miles fics where I feel like both of them are characterized really accurately? anyway its ~80k words of the two of them falling in love and fucking around and being idiots and-- in Miles' case-- slowly experiencing cellular decay! Yay for angst! I know I keep saying this but GOD I LOVE THIS FIC. IT DESERVES MORE ATTENTION. give it some love plz, it's also one of the only finished Shellshocked multi-chapter fics I could find (coming from somebody who currently has an unfinished multi-chapter Shellshocked fic shhhhhh)

be like your brothers (and never like yourself) -> 2012, 25k words. this is another author who has so many FANTASTIC mikey-centric fics from multiple iterations, but this one is definitely my favorite from them!! Mikey's self-worth is so low that he starts picking up specific traits from each of his brothers in an effort to be more "useful", which. doesn't go very well. very angsty, lots of mikey hurting (emotionally and physically), but also pretty cute at the end! hurt/comfort my beloved mwah <333 I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH something about it itches my brain

feed me poison till i drown -> 2007, 8k one-shot. Leo leaves, everything kinda falls apart, aaaaand Mikey ends up being convinced to join the Foot Clan by Karai! and the eventually his brothers find out and everything goes very terribly wrong. and i love it. the ending is also left up to interpretation, so it's a really cool read! not super angsty, but Karai's mind games leave Mikey as an unreliable narrator, and the breakdown of his relationship with his family is really well done :D plus anything with Karai and Mikey bonding makes me happy sooooooo

trust is earned (not freely given) -> 2007, 2.5k one-shot, from the same author as the previous entry I believe? mikey's brothers slowly realize that something is wrong with him-- they can't read his emotions or his actions anymore, he dodges questions, etc etc. eventually donnie realizes that they fucked up and he doesn't know how to fix it! no real resolution, just angst and dysfunctional families YAY

when you can't sleep at night -> rottmnt, 7k one-shot. follows three separate instances in Mikey's life where he had trouble falling asleep for whatever reason, went to his brothers for help, and got all the sibling love and comfort he deserves :D primarily fluffy but there's definitely some hurt/comfort in here, especially for the part that takes place after the events of the movie! this is another comfort fic for me ahdhehfhher it's just. very cute. and it reminds me SO MUCH of my little brother when he was a toddler SO IT MAKES ME FEEL SAD AND HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME RAHHHHH

so, I guess we all have issues -> 2012, 122k, human au. OH MY GOD. LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN EVERYTHING BY THIS AUTHOR IS SOME OF THE BEST SHIT YOU'LL READ IN THIS FANDOM BUT THIS FIC IN PARTICULAR WAS SOOOOO FUCKING GOOD. super fucking angsty, but also a lot of sibling bonding??? technically found family??? basically, the 2012 boys all get reincarnated as humans, but Mikey is the only one who remembers their past lives and the fact that they're siblings. he goes on this whole journey to find out where Leo and Raph and Donnie ended up (kinda? cuz in the end they all sort of come to HIM instead but yknow), and has to convince them of the fact that they were mutant ninja turtles in a past life. so that's fun! also raph is trans and leo has PTSD and donnie is struggling as a child genius AND ITS SO GOOD AND SO ANGSTY AND SO FLUFFY AND ITS COMPLETED SO THERES NO REASON WHY YOU SHOULDNT READ THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW RAHHHHHH

other fics (specifically mikey-centric) by the same author because i swear to god they're LEGENDARY TO ME:

on the flipside -> rottmnt one-shot where April and the boys get hit with some kind of species-swap spell, and April ends up as a mutant turtle while the boys end up as humans;

exhaust trails through space -> 2012 one-shot where Donnie and Mikey need a fucking vacation from Earth (don't we all), so Donnie gets a spaceship from Bishop and Pb&J duo get to fuck around the cosmos for a few weeks and ignore their problems while actually enjoying each others' company;

(un)reality -> 2012 two-shot where Mikey gets captured by the Kraang during his stint in Dimension X and basically gets brainwashed to the point where he tries to kill his brothers when they finally come for him;

play the fool, pity the fool -> 2012 two-shot with MEGA depressed Mikey, this one in particular is really well written-- his downward spiral into depression, his suicide attempt, and his eventual recovery are all written beautifully and realistically and MMM it's so fucking good;

if i could have it back -> 2012 one-shot human au/apocalypse/zombie au, where Mikey and Donnie get separated from the rest of their family and have to survive long enough to find them again;

these days -> 2012 multichapter, unfinished BUT basically Mikey and Donnie get fed up with the way Leo and Raph are acting after Splinter's death (this fic definitely bashes them a little but it's still a good read), and decide to leave the lair and build their own home away from their dysfunctional family;

division difference -> 2012 multichapter, also sadly unfinished BUT it's about Donnie and Mikey getting separated from Splinter and their brothers as tots and growing up feral-- super intriguing concept, and very well written :DD

the broken and the helper -> rottmnt, 9k words. Mikey playing therapist for literally his whole family except himself and completely burning out. and then his brothers figure that out and talk to him and its all very fluffy and sweet in the end and sometimes that's what i need. not super angsty, but definitely hurt/comfort!

angelo -> rottmnt, 4k one-shot. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MIKEY GETTING THE NICKNAME "ANGELO" FROM LEO BC LEO SEES HIM AS A GUARDIAN ANGEL. baja blast duo fics you have such a special place in my heart (I need more of them) AND THIS ONE IS JUST SO CUTE IM SORRY. a little bit of angst bc of,,,, movie events? but still very cute :)

consuming darkness -> 2012, 68k words. Mikey messes up on a mission and it ends up getting Donnie seriously injured. he gets blamed by his brothers, internalizes it, gets serious with his training and basically becomes this like??? cold-blooded murderer on a revenge mission??? LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN I am. SUCH a lover stories where a character loses/sacrifices everything about their personality to become what they think everyone wants them to be. THIS IS THAT STORY. and then when Raph and Leo realize what's happened to Mikey and have no idea how to "fix" him??? THATS THE GOOD SHIT OH MY GOD. love this fic inject it straight into my veins. on fanfiction.net instead of ao3 (and sadly unfinished), but it's really good for Mikey angst :3

new tricks -> 2012, 3k one-shot, another one from fanfic.net! this one isn't angsty at all, just Mikey and Splinter hanging and bonding together :D I love it though, it's such a cute little fic and very comforting to read ahdhehfhehfhr

no one is alone -> rottmnt, 23k words currently! follows Mikey dealing with everyone's emotional shit after the events of the movie,,,, except his own obviously lmao so he turns to self-harm as a way to relieve stress and anxiety, eventually gets found out, anddddd his brothers help him through recovery :) it's currently unfinished but still being updated as far as I know, and if you want angst, there you go!

temporal differential -> 2012, 7k one-shot. follows Mikey getting stuck in Dimension X for a lot longer than he lets on, and losing hope of his brothers finding him. this one's part of a mini series that kinda revolves around Mikey's time there? and the aftermath? there's a ton of fics that follow this concept but this one isn't tagged very well and doesn't have a lot of hits, so there's a chance you haven't read it if you're looking for new Mikey angst fics to read! plus mikey gets to be smart :333

breakfast for sensei -> 2012, 6.5k one-shot. WHILE WE'RE ON THE TOPIC OF DIMENSION X. this one's about the aftermath!!! AND it has Mikey and Splinter bonding at 3am so I love it so so so dearly. Mikey struggles a lot with nightmares and insomnia after he gets stuck in Dimension X, and eventually opens up to Splinter about his time there and how LONG he was alone and gets some much-needed advice and love. good angst, good comfort, Splinter being a good dad, love love love this one. plus you get a free breakfast recipe! yay!

we'll burn them down -> 2012, 9k one-shot. OKAY LAST ONE ABOUT DIMENSION X I PROMISE. sunset duo focus-- Raph is the first one to figure out that something is off with Mikey, and he's gotta decide how to deal with it! Mikey gets to be a scary badass after surviving alone for so long, Raph gets to be a worried older brother, and Donnie,,,, gets to be there too i guess lmao like i said it's very much a sunset duo fic. enjoy the angst! the hurt/comfort! it's lovely!

empty canvas -> rottmnt, 43k words. I honestly don't remember a lot about this one, BUT Mikey basically takes Leo's place in the prison dimension after opening the portal to get him out?? very very angsty, lots of hurt Mikey! sadly it's unfinished (and it doesn't seem like it'll be updated anytime soon), but what's there definitely qualifies as Mikey angst if that's what you're looking for :) and ofc lots of worried older brothers, which I adore.

--and then ofc, I have a bunch of my own Mikey-centric fics here! I've really only written for Rise so far, but I'm dedicated to mikey angst o7

and like I said, I also have a whole collection on ao3 dedicated just to my favorite TMNT fics! there's genuinely SO MANY MORE I could recommend, but I tried to stick to ones that are older/don't have as many hits?? Kinda?

The rest of my recs would be in this collection! Most are Mikey-centric, but there's a few in there for the other boys too:

for my rottmnt hyperfix | Archive of Our Own

I should warn you though-- I didn't have my collection moderated originally, so people could add their own fics to the collection if they wanted! but then some weirdo Tc*ster ended up adding their shit to it, and I'm pretty sure there's at LEAST one tc*st fic in there somewhere. I've locked it down since then and don't allow outside contributions anymore, but you might wanna filter those tags out :( I contacted ao3 about removing those fics but I never heard anything back. just a warning!!

anyway. hopefully this is helpful for the, like, five people who ALSO feel like they've read every single Mikey fic in existence lmao

[bulbabutt]

ok i wanna talk about tmnt 2007 and the way i think this is the best version of a leo and raph conflict, and also leo as a character

for context i've been talking about tmnt things kinda chronologically, so i'm gonna mention an unconditional understanding in 03 i bring that up in a previous post about that show and the family dynamics in it here if u want context for what i mean

i think this movie can really be appreciated for the place it has between adaptations, and the way character-wise everyone is more or less the same as they've always been but with a more interpersonal relationship as the focus. the main villain of this movie doesn't really matter, the conflict, the fights, that's not where the strength is (although, it is reflected in the conflict and ill get into that)

so tmnt 07 is one movie that kind of combines the 90s movies, 03, and mirage all in one place, and tonally is is similar to the show that will come after it, 12. if the 90s movies give us conflict between leo and raph, and 03 gives us the unconditional understanding between the two, 07 takes these two aspects and creates a story out of it. (debate in your own mind if this movie is a literal sequel to the 90s ones or not, its not that important)

the set up of this movie is we are in a post killing the shredder world. leo has been told by splinter to go get training elsewhere, there isn't much context for what happened to cause this, but i would bet its a similar cause to 03, where he had ptsd and lashed out at his father to which splinter sends him to his grandfather to get better advice than he thinks he can give him. the difference here is there is no grandfather hes sent to, he's sent on a journey of self discovery around the world to learn about it and himself.

the thing about leo as a character, and this goes for all leos, he's has a very black and white way of thinking. leo thinks he's been sent away because he's failing his family, that he's not a good enough leader. so he stays away for longer because he doesn't feel good enough. he finds a place where he can help and he does that. leo always needs a bad guy to fight, or else he's fighting his own demons. so he stays there for a long time. finding a place he can help quietly, never letting anyone see him, and becoming a legend to the locals because no one knows what's really going down.

april manages to track him down and tell him about whats going on with his brothers, how they're holding up without him and without being a team, and i think thats a good reminder for him that they miss him. he doesn't tell april but he finds a way home only after hearing about this. when he arrives and speaks to splinter, he says "i was so caught up in my own world i forgot about everyone else, i'm sorry i failed" he still doesn't feel like he's done anything of worth.

i'm gonna jump in here and say, you know how we all love rise raph? cuz hes the big brother and some traits that come from that are like being overprotective and taking on everyone else's problems and trying to handle emotions alone? well that's a trait thats usually leo's. but the difference with leo is sometimes that concept doesn't make you as likeable. sometimes it means you come off like a nagging mother hen who thinks they know best but in an arrogant way. sometimes it makes you mirror being a parent when no one asked you to be. leo's less of a passionate character than raph, hes more analytical and full of himself. he takes splinters lessons more seriously, and hes always trying to do whats best for everyone so they don't have to worry. this is something evident with 03 and 12, but its so specifically noticeable here because these traits make up the main conflict. i just want to bring that up so we start seeing leo as no different than some of our other favourite iterations.

splinter responds to his apology by saying "you owe me no apology, but perhaps you should talk to raphael, your absence has been particularly difficult for him, though he'll never admit it" but when leo greets him raph is brushing him off.

on raph's end, this is him being angry that leo left, and angry that hes back and everyone wants to pretend that he wasn't gone at all. as if the time he was gone didn't happen. hes lashing out because he too cant handle talking about these emotions. and hes lashing out by becoming a vigilante in his own right.

i see a lot of people misunderstand what raph is doing here, that "this is what the turtles always do" or "this is the same as what leo was doing how could he be mad" when that is not true. that's what casey does. its true that both leo and raph have been fighting bad guys on their own (as a way of dealing with their issues) but raphael has made himself a costume to disguise himself which means hes prepared to be seen. hes riding a motorcycle around, which is loud. this isn't stealthy, this is aggressive. his vigilante name is in the news. the turtles are ninjas, they silently help where they can and fade into the night and, very specifically, they work as a team. these turtles live in a dangerous world, what if something happened to him while no one else was around? they would never know because he never told anyone.

so raph is lashing out, and leo doesn't have a good way of dealing with it. he tries to slide back into being leader, doing what splinter says but he forgets how his brothers are, and with raph egging them on they get into fights they shouldn't. which leo specifically gets in trouble for, as the oldest brother, and as their leader. leo tries to be this better leader hes supposed to have learned to be, but it doesn't work and raph ends up back out there in his vigilante get up. leo tracks down said vigilante, and in his peak "leo knows best" moment, lectures him, not knowing its his brother. there's a scuffle, and the mask comes off. let me point out that casey knew this vigilante was raph but his own brother didn't, because leo has been gone that long.

so lets get into what this fight is really about. on the surface, its "wow you've been going out at night alone putting yourself in dangerous situations with no backup" and "so what you're just mad that i can do it without you" which leo would be right about. and this is the analytical leo, he really thinks that's all that's going on here. what hes missing is that raphael has missed him as a brother, and hes hurt that leonardo left and just came back no big deal. that he wants everything to be normal. raphael is always a character with big emotions and the only outlet he knows to express them is violence.

leo, who as we've established, went away to learn to be better for his family is angry that raph doesn't see that. he's mad raph doesn't appreciate the effort he went to, and he thinks he's just angry because he's not in charge. each brother sees the other as being arrogant.

this leads them to the big fight. no one can disagree that this is the best part of the movie (seriously watch the movie for this scene if you haven't seen it before) , but the real best part of it is that raphael wins. raph proves hes just as capable of a fighter as his brother, if not more-so. he uses those sais as they're supposed to be used, catching leo's swords and in a fit of rage he fucking breaks them, leaving leo defenceless and completely vulnerable to attack. you'd think he'd be smug that leo lost but he pauses, going through a lot of emotions in a moment, questioning what he's doing, why hes doing it. and leo finally looks his brother in the eye and sees raph going through something he didn't before, realizing raph hasn't been angry that he's back, but that he's angry that he ever left. they don't have a conversation, because raph cant handle all these emotions and he runs away, crying as he does. leo just watches him, taking it all in and realizing the error of his ways.

hearing leo scream turns raph around, but he's too late to help him, and this is where raph regrets his own actions because right then, leo is also proven right in his argument. because he gets kidnapped. if leo hadn't chased raph down, there is a very good chance that would have been raph being kidnapped. with no backup, with no one knowing what happened to him. that's why its important that the turtles are a team.

raph goes home full of guilt, and there's a good moment of showing how he cannot open up emotionally here, because he grunts, punches the wall, knocks over some weights and forces splinter to ask him what happened, because that's how raphael is. he laments to his father that he finally understands why leo is the better son, proving that to raph none of this was about their team, but about their family. conflating the two ideas in his head. splinter gives him a talk that mirrors what he said to leo when he returned earlier in the movie, encouraging him that he is a good son and brother. this shows that these brothers have very similar insecurities about their value to their family.

the rest of the movie plays out as you expect, they go save leo, they stop the bad guy, they reconcile and behave as the team they're supposed to be. but i just want to point out that the villains plot is mirrored in leo and raph's conflict. the 'villain' here is a brother who has been cursed to be immortal without his own siblings. for 3000 years he lived to regret his actions and decided to undo his curse, but he used the cursed stone versions of his siblings to do so. no communication, just thinking he knew better (which maybe he did) and lying about it. that caused them to lie to him right back, and try to overthrow him and destroy the world. this is just one family whose inner turmoil could have destroyed the world. you might say, oh that's not a very interesting turtles villain, but its not supposed to be. its not the focus.

this movie is all about the complicated relationship between a family, and i see so many people talk about it by trying to ask who's right and who's wrong. that's not how it works. life is more complicated than that, people are more complicated than that. its boring to look at this movie and just say "leo is wrong and raph is right" because that's not even how the characters see it. this movie is about leo and raph being mirrors of each other in their arrogance, in their insecurities, and in their stubborn pig-headed refusal to let the other know how they feel. splinter says as much at the start of the movie. this whole movie shows that without each other, they need to be fighting something so they don't get swept up by their own emotions, which they are both bad at processing. they are SUCH brothers. they are so similar emotionally, yet they have such a hard time understanding each other.

personally 07 leo is my favourite leo for his complexity, his flaws his strength, his growth. its sad we never got those sequel movies to get into the other brothers heads as much as we got into leo and raphs heads.

also nolan north and james arnold taylor gave the best vocal performances in this movie and they deserve all the credit for it.

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

Ficfinder finds: Times Five

Rottmnt Fanfic Summary: "You," Donnie breathed as Mikey looked just as lost as the rest of them, "I found out what that staff did. I know what happened to you. What you are." Leo blinked at the weird accusation, "Wha? Oh, Dee, I told you to throw that thing out." "Yeah! You did!" Donnie bit out. "Donnie," Raph started to move forward, "What's-" "So, then, who are you?" Donnie snarled. Leo smiled, "I'm Leo." "Which. Part." Donnie began, stomping towards him until Mikey jumped in the way. Or, Leo gets struck by a mystic beam that splits him into five parts of himself; literally. And they don't seem interested in coming back together

Times Five: Appraisal and Ratings

(Don't know what fanfic "Appraisal and Ratings" means? Check out my explanation on my Main Masterpost! Looking for a different fanfic to read? Head on over to my Fanfic List Masterpost!)

Disclaimer: This fanfic is completed and is written by @pickledcarrotsandradish, so go give them some love and support!!

The fanfic ratings are not based on quality, favoritism, or how good I think it is, but rather, how intense a subject may be. Like a movie review, or the tags on Ao3, letting the readers know what to expect.

Plot: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Plot is five out of five!! The plot for this fic is highly entertaining, and interesting!! It contains some really well placed plot twists, and some fun little changes to the classic 'split up into various personalities' trope that I really enjoyed seeing!! Excellent story indeed!!"

Suspense/Mystery: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Suspense/Mystery is four out of five!! The suspense and mystery for this story is honestly quite surprising!! As I stated earlier, this story has some really good, quite unexpected plot twists!! Every time you think you've got it figured out, a new plot twist swoops in, making you rethink it all!"

Angst/Hurt: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Angst/Hurt is four out of five!! The angst and hurt in this fic is much more on the emotional side. While there are a few physical angsty moments, the focus is mainly on emotional angsts as this fic is quite literally about five different versions of Leo all with various emotions."

Fluff/Comfort: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Fluff/Comfort is three out of five!! Times Five has a good and fair amount of comfort in it. A good riveting plot, and plenty of sad or dramatic bits, with a healthy dose of comfort to balance it all out!!"

Emotions Conveyed: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Emotions Conveyed is four out of five!! Its the plot twists that really get you in this fic!! Every time you get comfortable, a plot twist comes along, and yanks you right up!! This fic also has some really good emotional scenes!!"

Drama/Tension Level: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Drama/Tension Level is four out of five!! There's a lot of tension and drama between Leo and his brothers in this fic, which makes total sense. It ranges from lighthearted banter, to life changing conversations all throughout the fic!"

Triggers: 💛💛🖤🖤🖤

"Triggers are two out of five!! Times Five is not super triggering, though it does have triggers in it. Unresolved trauma, plenty of strong emotions, unintentional self-harm, panic, etc. Keep in mind, its not super intense, but it is there."

Legibility (Reading): 💛💛💛💛💛

"Legibility (Reading) is five out of five!! Times Five runs on the slightly shorter side, making it a highly riveting, short story!! Very enjoyable to read!! Its very vanilla, with no crazy texts, or images either."

Legibility (Audio): 💛💛💛💛💛

"Legibility (Audio) is five out of five! Once again, very vanilla, very very enjoyable. I listened to each one of these chapters in audio book format, and they all were great!!"

Length: 💛💛🖤🖤🖤

"Length is two out of five!! Times Five is completed, has a chapter count of 14 chapters, and a word count of 46k words total!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Times Five: Chapter List

(Chapters will be added as I rate and appraise them ^^)

(Yet to be added)

[qoldenskies]

So it seemed like Leo and Raph at least had moments where they were either aware of the curse or explicitly trying to fight against it (see Leo freezing in the doorway of Donnie's lab at one point, I'm pretty sure Raph had at least one moment before the curse broke but I can't quite remember which one), but did Mikey have any that I'm missing? He was willing to go along with Donnie on an errand or whatever at the beginning, I know that much, even if his art was all weird (curse bringing out repressed anger, perhaps?), but it would somehow be more of a gut punch if Mikey was the one to not even notice that anything was up until the moment he broke out of the curse.

i think whats most important about the way that mikey responded to the curse was that his perspective on it was not as concrete as leo and raph's. like leo and raph as donnie's older brothers both had in some capacity this feeling of responsibility over him that mikey DIDN'T, and the curse really takes advantage of it (getting more insight into leo's relationship with donnie in ME and CW really compounds his role and how he's spent so long looking out for him and facilitating a relationship where donnie is more comfortable being uniquely vulnerable, while raph was more straightforward as the oldest and their protector). but mikey's resistance is a lot more passive and hard to pick up on, there's a reason he's not proactive until very late in the game.

really i think the moment in the kitchen is the only really mask off moment he has where he's independently aggressive, with no input from his other family, and that's just because donnie did something that would probably frustrate him on a NORMAL day and the curse just intensified those emotions by like a billion

really i think the absolute worst thing about it is that it takes advantage of mikey's impulsivity more than anything else. he's not calculated and reveling in the idea of vengeance for a perceived lifetime of annoyance like leo is. he doesn't think its a deep moral responsibility that needs to be corrected like raph does. mikey is a person who likes fun, who likes to turn his brain off, and sometimes that means he can be reckless, careless, and occasionally even mean! he's an empathetic person who's willing to correct himself when he oversteps boundaries, but when its for someone the curse is twisting him to hate, why would he?

it's the thrill of getting away with it, with being in on the "joke". he laughs while leo does the really nasty shit and usually only goes out of his way to get in on it when leo's the one encouraging him, because early on he sees most of the goading and bullying as actual harmless fun, and later on he hates donnie enough to revel in it when he has the momentum with other people who are in on the joke. mikey on his own really would not be as vicious, and its why you can even see it in little ways- he lies after letting donnie out of the closet but he does seem confused and hurt by his reaction. when they go to the movies without him, he makes up the lie about genuinely forgetting in an effort to protect his feelings. he hugs him after he fixes the oven; the "its ok!! we werent mad" text message was a lie but it was similarly one to make him feel better (while the "good" after indicates how little he actually cares beyond that, not even trying to entertain him)

and when mikey isn't actively taking fun in hurting donnie, he isn't acknowledging him at all. he finds torment for the sake of it to be annoying, and he loses his patience/gets bored with it eventually-- and then he doesn't treat donnie like anything but a broken toy to be thrown away. when donnie isn't fun for him, he isn't anything. its the fact that he's apathetic in the end that hurts donnie the most.

[djpachipikachu]

What are some of your favorite character relationships/dynamics in TMNT, and why? Is there anything that you particularly like seeing explored with them in fan works (art, writing, comics, etc)?

ooh ! hmm thats a good question

a bit basic but raph and leo’s dynamics in any iteration are among my top ones … not typically the conflict of it but more of just their friendlier interactions like the two oldest brothers dynamic in official iterations is always fun and most of the time they really do know each other much better/more accurately than they do with donnie or mikey

taking rottmnt as an example just bc its the one i main and understand best, despite the age order swapping from typical tmnt , the dynamic of an older raph trying to coach leo on responsibility is like!!! raph Knows what it is to be a leader and he Knows that leo is capable of it and he Knows leo is avoiding it by being reckless and he knows this isnt how leo usually is ! and with leo . he’s good at reading people in general ! but he respects raph on a deep level despite being a little shithead because thats his big brother !!! and he soon learns and Truly understands the weight of what raph’s dealt with bc of the events of the movie

and then just like . idk . the eldest half of the turtles being the closest in that kinda deep understsnding of their roles and the struggles that come with them . makes me emotional

id love to see more works about raph and leo just being brothers in the same vein as mikey and donnie just being a chaotic duo,,, like leo knowing when raph needs a minute to calm down or raph understanding how leo wants a plan to go without having to elaborate , etc

and my favorite underrated dynamics are the ones with splinter and the humans👍bc oh man oh man !!!!

again rottmnt specifically but splinter’s dynamic with april is Such a gem to me like she is literally the favorite child and she isnt even his THATS HIS FAVORITE KID!!!! in 2012 also i like april and splinter’s mentoring kinda relationship!!!!! its fire!!!!!

and God . casey and splinter in rise . Christ dawg . oh my god!!!!! splinter sees himself in casey so so much . Splinter Broke Casey Out Of The Hold The Foot Had On Her !!!! they make me crazy emotional and rarely any fanwork explores it !!!! i want more of that!!!!!! he saved her !!!!!! and she doesnt know what to even do about that!!!!!!! casey is also his favorite child rise splinter has a thing about all his favorite kids being none of the turtles and i stand by that /j

rise splinter sees his own younger self’s fiery passion and intense Want to be something great in april, and he sees his younger self’s struggle with being a part of a locked destiny that he was never given a choice to decide if he wanted it or not in casey </3

more rise casey jones and splinter fanworks🙏🙏PLEASE!!!!🙏🙏🙏casey learning how to be a person on her own🙏🙏🙏splinter supporting her like a father bc her own guardian figures never saw her potential🙏🙏🙏

other honorable mentions:

leo and usagi . self explanatory . love them . platonic or romantic idc i love seeing any content about them i love the different dynamics for them in any iteration

casey and april 2003 mt beloveds they make me so uehehehe theyre Silly theyre so silly and i wish we couldve explored rottmnt casey and april’s dynamic more

idw jennika and her relationship with the hamato clan !!! shes so similar to rise casey in that sense but then also just how shes such an older sister to them already is like . augh . i love asshole older sisters . i love her doubting her place in the family . i love her imagining what itd be like if she was with them during their worst moments and how she wouldve taken the hits for them . Idw jennika you will always be famous

im a huge yapper sorry but yeah thats my answer me thinks

[luckycharms1701]

got a response to my last post and fuck if i didn't pull my computer out at one in the morning so i could do this particular topic justice

my "time to talk about family dynamics in tmnt" button was pushed real hard, and i don't get enough opportunities to talk about this

So let's talk about Leo's position in the family in the Bayverse movies. That's right folks, we're pulling out capital letters for the leader in blue, because this is a topic I am super serious about. Full college paper levels of serious. Gonna need to know how you want your sources cited.

This is a fascinating take tbh, and I would love to hear more about how you came to this conclusion. Allow me to show you why my position is different.

First:

I think this image says a lot. Leo's a daddy's boy long before anything like parentification could possibly come into play. Also it's really cute, look at him loving his dad!!

Second, let's talk parentification. Boiled down to its basics, parentification is when a child, usually the eldest, acts like a secondary or replacement parent. This is the part that really gets me, because I just don't see any evidence of it in the movies at all.

We do get to see some scenes from when they are kids, and no where is it suggested that Leo is anything other than another one of the boys.

Sure, Mikey hides behind him when play-fighting with Raph after the buck-buck scene, but that's just younger sibling behavior. No where is it implied that this happens because anyone expects it of Leo. That, I think, might be the closest to "parentification" that occurs in the movies.

The thing is, I don't think Leo has been the leader very long at the beginning of the 2014 movie. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if it's a move Splinter made just before or even as the movie starts. Leo's and Raph's argument really solidifies that for me:

Raph: And who put you in charge?

Leo: You know who did.

This smacks, on Leo's part, of someone borrowing another's authority to shore up their own. That tells me that Leo at least does not feel that he has this authority on his own merit, that he's new to leadership. Raph senses this like a shark in bloody water, and he pushes because there's vulnerability there. (more on this later *rubs hands together in glee*)

I think that there is evidence in the 2016 movie that Leo is relatively new to a position of authority as well. His struggle to maintain the delicate balance of his brother's personalities and the fact that he allows his own personality to get in the way of being a good leader are prime examples.

These are pitfalls that a parentified person would already have experienced and would be able to avoid, and so they wouldn't have happened if Leo was parentified.

Third, let's talk about Leo and Raph.

So, my position here is that Leo and Raph DO have a normal sibling relationship, at least as normal as it can get when you are turtle mutants living in the sewers with only each other for company.

Anecdotal, I know, but I have a bit of experience with a similar dynamic to the one you assigned to them. I am the oldest of three, and my sister (middle) and I did NOT get along as kids. It got to the point where I thought as teens that once I left the house we would never talk to each other ever again.

Perceived favoritism was definitely an issue in my and my sister's relationship. Is it an issue with Leo and Raph? I honestly don't think we get enough time with Splinter in the movies to determine that concretely. It's definitely possible, but I believe something different is, either concurrently with or instead of favoritism, at play here.

I know it's easy to forget because they look Like That, but the turtles are teenagers. They are immature and don't always know how to express themselves. And Raph in particular struggles because he feels so strongly. It can be hard to control it when your emotions are strong like that, don't ask me how I know.

However, he gives himself away at the end of the 2014 movie. "Every time... I pushed you beyond your limits, it was because I believe in you! I believe in each one of you!"

Remember when I said that Raph sensed Leo's vulnerability and pushed on it? We've come back baby! I am firmly in the camp of 'both Raph and Leo are good leaders in their own way', and I think this is part of what makes Raph a good leader.

Sometimes Raph is actually annoyed at Leo for whatever reason, being told what to do the most common I think. But!! Remember, Raph also believes in his brothers, Leo included. So he puts Leo on the spot in a mostly controlled environment to help him learn how to be a leader. There's a lot more I could say here, but that's a Raph post, and this is about Leo.

So is it favoritism, Raph's need for independence, or Raph pushing Leo that causes tension in their relationship? I think it's a bit of all of that and more.

There is a fourth section to this post, about Splinter, but it is now almost four in the morning, I have to get up in like two hours, and I already fell asleep once while writing this. But know that in this iteration at least, Splinter is a decent single father of four boys, he did not parentify Leo, and any favoritism is unintentional.

Anyway, in my house we spend a lot of time talking about how much Leo loves his dad.

[imagionationstation]

So I was watching Knights of the Zodiacs and idk it made me think what if the turtles were like…reincarnation of gods? Idk

Anyways, this is what I’d personally assign -

Leo - Athena. Raph - Ares. Donnie - Apollo (god of knowledge and all that) or Hephaestus. Mikey - Hermes.

I also spun a wheel to let it decide. So much funnier and more interesting.

Leo - Hermes. Raph - Aphrodite (did you know Aphrodite was also a war goddess?). Donnie - Artemis. Mikey - Demeter.

I think it’s fun, you don’t have to respond lol

I play with Greek/Roman history sometimes so I know enough to recognize the gods and their tempers/hobbies/interests.

If they were recarnations, how much of them would remain? Or would they still have the turtles personalities? Would they still have their powers or some variations of them…?

Never seen Knights of the Zodiacs so I have zero frame of reference for the thoughts that you are having. It’s making my train of thought stop at multiple stations despite its desire to chug on.

(Edited due to minor confusion)

Lemme see…

Athena: Goddess of the wisdom and warefar, a leader and very into tatics and strategies, strong views and she was very big about honor, truth, and justice.

Sounds like Leo. Checks out.

Ares: The god of war, very into all kinds of violence. It gives him a bad reputation bc, yk, obvious reasons. He can also be considered the god of courage depending on where you look. He’s not necessarily on anyone’s side as long as violence happens.

He and Athena are often depicted as frenemies, with them fighting often, probably because he likes war for the sake of war and she fights in wars with purpose.

Interesting take on Raph. I can work with that.

Apollo: The god of quite a few things. I remember prophecy and archery in that lineup. Music and poetry was in there too. He also emulates Athena’s beliefs in justice and peace. If I’m recalling correctly, he could also be passionate/emotional and tended to have some jealous streaks.

Yeppers. Sounds like the boy but with a musical flare <3

Hermes: The god of speed and travel/luck. He’s a tricky, mischievous boy with the best intentions. He’s bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and only lives to do as he pleases. He’s very fast, very annoying (to the other gods), and very sneaky. I think he’s also a protector of travelers/wandering souls. He’s genuinely a good, silly guy.

Mikey in a nutshell right there. I think we’re on the same page here.

Other than the fact that I, again, have not seen Knights of the Zodiacs. Sincere apologies.

There’s a whole lot that goes into them being gods, tho.

Do they keep all their powers? ‘Cause mythological gods tend to be overpowerful creatures and overpowerful creatures are no fun.

I want to beat the turtles up. Make them suffer and bond. How do I do that when they have few weaknesses??

What if- they have powers, but they have mutant forms now. So they have the weakness that come with mortal bodies. It’s harder to unlock and use their powers. And it’s really annoying because they have to shift between struggling to use the powers and randomly unlocking them mid-battle, only to find them locked later.

#The Struggle Is Real

I wish I could draw. I have some images on the brain that I’d love to share but sadly my talents do not extend so far.

[theanonymousninja247]

Pretty Random Turtle Thunks:

Christmas Gifts

Just some silly HC ideas on what I would get the Bayverse Boys for Christmas with all the money I got from working overtime during the holidays:

(for all the folks who do overtime in any form or fashion, y'all are my heroes. Thank you 🙏🏼🧡🫡)

Rating: Milk (This one’s for everyone!)

Leo: Cordless Vaccum with Additional Brushes

Hear me out. HC Leo has pretty bad OCD/ Anxiety. (feel free to ask me questions on why I think this; short story, man folds his arms and does his little nervous foot-tapping dance thing) It doesn't necessarily always look like that because he's worked on shoving it so far down (the emotionally constipated turtle he is) that its one of the reasons he can tend to be a bit…well…high strung. All that chaos, the responsibility, the weight that is contained his mind can be a bit maddening and one of the ways he works through it or tries to redirect that nervous energy is through cleaning. It gives him something he can do and see an immediate result to. Leo’s also a meticulous perfectionist, so what better to get him for Christmas than something that will allow him to clean every nook and cranny he can without being hindered; finally putting that pent up energy into something useful. Clean, orderly, and sensible. Because even if the rest of the world is crazy, doesn't mean his mind or his home should be. Well…or at the very least his room. Everything in place as all good things should be. At least that how it feels being with you 😉💙

Donnie: Hand Massager

Something cheesy I know I know. But think about it. Donnie has spent practically his entire life building gadgets and gizmos that help other people. Sure, there's the occasional more specific stuff for him and his brothers, but I don't think he really thinks all that much about building stuff to specifically help himself. You know this turtle gets on that one track mindset waaaaay too often and struggles with taking care of himself. Especially his hands. His hands are his livelihood. His chance to express himself when sometimes emotions and words cannot. I just think Donnie deserves a little break and to put some TLC into the hands that so often reach out to others. Donnie deserves to know that he's worth taking care of himself too. And the best part is if he doesn't like it, he can always tinker with it to make it better. Because that's what Donnie does, makes the world better by being himself and of course, being with you. 😉💜

Raph: Minky Couture Blanket

A blanket? Really? I know what y'all are thinking but hear me out. Raph is a our big boy. The protector. The muscle. The hard headed bruiser who's always on the front lines taking every hit so his family and the rest of the world doesn't have to. He takes the hits because he knows he can handle it and give it right back. That's what he's good at, and he's proud of it. But its not easy. It hurts. And I imagine it can get rather exhausting. Sometimes I think Raph forgets that his heart is a muscle too and it needs to be taken care of just like the rest of the muscles that he puts so much effort into. These blankets are by far the softest that I have EVER had the privilege of touching. Silky smooth to the the touch AND THEY CAN COME WEIGHTED TOO! I think Raph deserves something warm and soft (I HC that he's super touch and texture sensitive) to come home to after fighting in this cold hard world. (A blanket will do. At least until he has you 😉❤️)

Mikey: Thyme and Table Black and Gold Cookset

I’ve always loved the thought that Mikey was the biggest foodie in the family which honestly makes sense. Because what better way to bring people together, no matter who they are, than the ultimate connector that is the love of food? Mikey loves people and he loves expressing himself. What better way than doing that through magic that is cooking?! I want to get him this set because it looks super classy (and I think Mikey needs a reminder every once in a while that he can be cool and chic just like the rest of his bros. That he isn't always just the goof and the brunt of the joke) Mikey, like anything in black and gold, is a statement piece that deserves his own chance to shine! Also with it being speckled, it looks clean while being dirty too. The mess in a masterpiece if you will.

Just like our Mikey!

And you bet your bottom dollar that he is gonna to LOVE trying to make some magic for you😉🧡

Splinter: Lego Tranquil Garden

Splinter is a part of this family and deserves something nice too! My favorite thing is surprising older folks with something considered “childish” and watching them have a chance to explore their inner child once again. Not to mention these lego sets are basically just 3D puzzles and old folks love puzzles! Because puzzles are just workouts for the brain! (at least that's what my grandma keeps telling me) And I think Master Splinter would like to have something fun to work on while his boys are always out saving the world. You know, a little piece of serenity that never fades away (because plastic is eternal and what not) in the crazy world that he gets to call home with his sons. 🤎

[kikithedreamerwriter]

please let me know if you want to be a part of my taglist!

🗣️: @sharpwindow @pheradream-15 @m1dnyt3-w0lf

Imagines #3: Depressed S/O x Bayverse Turtles

Prompt: Ever since the resurfacing of a tragic childhood incident, you have been in and out of episodes of depression where you simply stay still (sitting, standing, lying down) and stare blankly into space for hours. Your turtle tries to console you in the best way he can.

Leonardo

I think that among his brothers, Leo is the least informed about mental illnesses and its implications. He’s always held the belief that “it’s all in the mind.” When your episodes began, he slowly realizes that just because you can’t see something, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

You and him get into a whole fight about how Leo doesn’t seem to be taking your depression seriously.

After a serious discussion with Splinter and a week later, he comes to your apartment to make it up to you with alot of cuddles and words of affirmation.

He will in enroll in a online psychology and mental health awareness course at a community college to educate himself just for you.

When your having your episodes, he will brew some tea, tuck you into his embrace, and whisper sweetly into your ear.

Leo knows that being sedentary too long isn’t good for your physical health, so he’ll carry you into his arms, set you on the floor of his bedroom, turn on the gramophone he got from dumpster diving, and dance with you to the beat of soothing, vintage music.

While Leo is someone who is true to his belief and code, he is willing to change himself for you because well… he just loves you that much 💙

Raphael

Unlike his older brother in blue, Raphael is much more aware about mental health issues. We all know that despite this brute’s impenetrable exterior, he has the softest spot for the people he loves. ❤️

When you’re having your episodes, he’ll take into his arms and make you come with him. His rationale: it’s never good to dwell on your bad thoughts too much and alone. He knows you need a distraction.

So either he’ll: (1) let you take out all that grief and anger on his punching bag (he’ll definitely be more scared of you after seeing you absolutely brutalize his it) (2) take you around his favorite secret spots around the city (which he happened to find during the times he would storm out of the Lair).

Honestly, he hates when you’re having one of your episodes. Make no mistake, he loves being with you during your episodes, but Raph’s love language is acts of service. So he hates it that he himself can’t get inside your head to help you solve the root of your trauma.

But after a while, he learns to accept the ways that he can do to help you. He will do anything to protect your well-being.

Donatello

While Raph understands the more emotional aspect of mental illnesses, as usual, Donnie knows the science behind it.

As soon as he notices the symptoms of your depression, he booked you a visit to a good therapist. Yes, he’s find a way to make your insurance cover your visits.

In addition to all the neat features he put into your custom-made watch, he also installed a button that notifies him when you feel like your slipping into one of your episodes.

Unlike his brothers, I think that Donnie is the kind to leave you by yourself during your episodes. He’ll still check on you every once in a while! He’ll do so every 20 minutes, with an alarm set on his own watch. Donnie knows how important it is to let you process your own emotions. When he thinks you’ve done that enough, that’s when he’ll hold you close and try to engage you in conversation about the feelings you experienced.

He assures you that no matter how disturbing your thoughts may end up becoming, he will always be receptive for you. He reminds you that this illness is not who you are. He tells you constantly that you are brave and beautiful no matter what you think of yourself 💜

Michelangelo

Mikey is the most empathetic among his brothers. Despite his constantly bright disposition, he has his own rainy days too. Personally, I think that emotionally, he copes the best among his brothers. Mikey has a high EQ in my humble opinion.

He doesn’t care what he should be doing. He will stay beside you the entire time during one of your episodes. His babycakes is suffering! He can’t not be there!

Expect a lot of your favorite foods. After an episode, both of you will be FEASTING. You’ll also be playing video games and reading comic books together. Sometimes, he’ll even take you with him to the city for some fresh air.

Like Leo he’ll want to take a course on psychology and mental health to educate himself even more. He wants to be the best version of himself for you so that he can take care of you. He’ll also constantly be asking Donnie questions. Donnie feels that these conversations with Mikey are gonna be the most intellectual ones he has with him. 😂

When he’s away on a mission, all he can think about is you. He won’t even be his usual cheery self. In fact, he’ll be more like Leo. Serious and worrisome. He’ll feel so bad for his angelcakes. 🥺🧡

Please like and reblog if you enjoyed this! Yes you! 👀💖

[leo-kinnie]

King if you started ranting about (any) Sandro for hours even days I'd be sitting listening to you with starry eyes- please rant please rant please rant

Ooh, how about CF!Sandro's fav place?? And I wanna know how sandros role was in episodes like portal chopped (? Was that the name) and Mind Meld 👀

-☆staranon☆

So many days biting my tongue on ranting about Ash.... oooh...

Sand's got multiple fav places!! All for different moods, obviously. But the place that holds a special spot in his heart is the very top of Central Park Tower!! its the place he goes to sit down and daydream/let himself experience negative emotions in solitude, since Sand doesn't want his little brothers ever seeing him unhappy.

Bonus piece of knowledge: Raph is the only person who knows abt this specific spot and its importance to him + is the one to go seek out Sand if he's gone for too long.

long ass text under cut

OHHHH okay so in the episode Portal Jacked (U MEANT THIS ONE I THINK???), Sandro Also got split up from Leo like the rest of the brothers. In my mind Leo makes a LOT MORE wailing comments about how "if Sandro was here he'd SOOO laugh at that" "I'm missing my hype man, so, Hueso you need to step it up!" "Everything reminds me of him..." and he's looking at the ugliest green splash of paint

Whereas Sandro was freakin' out internally because um. um. um. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHOUT LEO RIGHT BESIDE ME. Dude is basing his entire personality off of that brother he doesn't know how to act without him.

Honestly it goes pretty good overall bc Sandro gets to let a bit of his personality shine through during those moments relaxing with his other brothers. But then it goes back to normal when they're reunited and Sandro says, and I quote, "That shit sucked."

THE MIND MELD EPISODE IS MY FAV ONE I'VE ALREADY SPOKE INTENSIVELY ABT THIS ON TWITTER (when i HAD ONE) SO I REMEMBER IT ALL. Sandro DOESN'T get Donnie-fied like the other brothers because his dumbass walked off before the machine was turned on. Like, Donnie is at the control panel, SEES Sandro there, and then looks down and when he looks back up he sees Sandro off to the side chewing on one of his wrenches while the others are smart now.

So Sandro helps Donnie when he wants to un-smart the brothers, altho he's hilariously out of his depth because Leo is not LEO anymore. So he'll have moments going Ummm wanna go read comic books? And Leo will not only turn him down but say some fancy jargon about being above comic books and Sandro is just

because what the fuck was 60% of those words.

Would also like to state that Sandro is the one who half-heartedly suggested the beachball idea and was extremely surprised when Donnie praised him up for the idea and actually USED it. He felt like this

Donnie had a cute little speech at the end when all was well like Maybe we can work together. Maybe we do have common ground, my fortunately less-intelligent brother. And because of that, I would like to reinvite you to my lab.

Sandro went starry eyed and said really ?! I'm not banned anymore?? And then proceeded to get banned again after biting Shelldon's rotor.

[hyperfixationiris]

(In advance I apologize for any grammatical or syntax error that I may have, English is not my first language).

The Separated AU by @cupcakeslushie has been my complete adoration and obsession in recent days, so (with the author's permission) I created this playlist for Separated!Donnie!

I have chosen the songs mostly for their lyrics, so the musical genres may be all over the place, hehe.

The title comes from the mini comic "Thirds", also part of the Separated AU and creation of Cupcakeslushie, because damn, that interaction between Donnie and Splinter hit me hard.

That there are thirty-three songs (Three Three) in the playlist is... totally a coincidence! But it is one of which I feel very proud!

You can listen it on YouTube here or on Spotify here (I recommend the YouTube version more, since on Spotify I couldn't find all the songs or not in the versions I wanted).

Below is a brief explanation of why I chose some of the songs, (you can ignore this if you like) But enjoy the music and go see the Separated AU, I recommend it with all my heart!

(This part is very based on my interpretation of Sep!Donnie, so I may be wrong about some things.)

— "Saint Bernard" and "Cradles" are the first songs for being the ones I most associated with Donnie. The first for talking about being a failure and that there is something intrinsically "wrong" with you. The second I associated with his way of seeing the world and the fact that he does not perceive what has been done to him as abuse.

— The instrumental melodies I chose I feel they are a good reflection of his mental state, especially in one of his episodes.

— "Papercut" was a song I heard and it was immediately like: "Oh, yes, this is Donnie talking about Three and the hallucinations he has of his brothers".

— "Immer Sie" is one of the few songs I chose with a specific moment in mind, in this case: Donnie attacking his family because he felt they were leaving him behind and abandoning him. The song speaks of a desperate and almost aggressive love, in addition to having in its lyrics a fairly broken syntax. That is why I think it can reflect Donnie's altered mental and emotional state in that specific moment.

— There is a song that clashes a lot with the others and is "Lovefool (Remix)". However I think it represents the affectionate behaviors, although sometimes too intense, of Donnie, as well as his need to be loved.

— I think "Pale Machine" is a song that would play once Donnie was rescued by his family and once he was living with them. Although he is very happy and basically the situation is a dream come true, that does not mean that all his problems are fixed.

— Two other songs for specific moments are "What I've Done" and "Cop Graveyard". I am referring to the moment Mikey finds out about the collars his brother made for Big Mama, and when Donnie realizes that he basically helped Shredder poison Leo's mind.

— "Rolling Girl" is the first of the comfort songs, being a reflection of the way Donnie sees himself and how his family is doing everything possible to help him out of that vicious circle.

— I see "Demons" as a song dedicated to the relationship between Donnie and Vee (which I love). In turn, "Devil Town" would be Donnie's relationship with Leo, Raph and Mikey.

— "New Soul" is basically Donnie on the road to recovery, with its ups and downs.

— Finally, "Somewhere I Belong" is not exactly a happy or entirely positive song, but whose central theme is something that Donnie has been working on and has wished all his life: a place to belong to.

And with this ends my TED Talk, thanks for coming.

[nights-flying-fox]

Deep (Purple) Thoughts (and Realizations)

◇ Click here to read on AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 ◇

Chapter 5: Talk It Out Donnie shares some information.

Word Count: 1743 | CW: manipulation (kind of??), self blaming (not donnie tho), mentions of genocide, survivor's guilt

(if you think i should add something plz tell me)

 

 Controlling the Technodrome was an exciting idea at first. Donatello Hamato, the first person to fly a spaceship! His dreams from childhood were about to become real. Then he had discovered how disgusting it was. Icky, slimy, alive. The texture on its own made Donnie nauseous. But he could do it, for he was a genius, and this must not stop him. Not when he had said he could. Not when his family’s lives were on the stake. So, he had forced himself. With Mikey’s support the situation being a bit bearable. With every step it got worse. He had to use himself, not just his hands.

 So, he let himself fall into the spaceship.

 At first it felt as if he was being captured. Technodrome’s parts holding him, becoming a part of him. Then he had gasped. Connected. He had control. He knew everything! He could use it, protect his family and be powerful! He had knowledge!

 With ease he controlled the Technodrome. He let it move according to the plan, protected Mikey. He knew why he was there and what he could do. But he wanted more. He could do more. He wasn’t just Donnie, he was also a spaceship. He was a genius with power and knowledge.

 Donnie looked at the ground. “Except knowledge isn’t always good, it turns out.” He spoke. “Not when you can see what the Krang did.”

 The silence felt too long, too heavy. He knew his family were giving him time, he appreciated it. And he wanted to tell them what happened. It was just hard. He felt his hand being squeezed. Raph smiled at him, supportive. Donnie took a deep breath.

 “During my time connected with Technodrome I felt invincible. I didn’t care about what I learned. I... I even could understand why Krang wanted power.” He didn’t want to admit it. But he didn’t want to lie. It was what had happened, what scared him. “Afterwards it changed. Everything I knew, it was terrible. The planets they had taken over, the wars... I am glad we stopped them.” He didn’t want to get into the details. Not wanting to talk about how Technodrome was a corrupted thing, alive.

 “Donnie...” He heard April whisper.

 Before she could continue, he talked again. “The spaceship didn’t whisper or talk like in the horror movies. But it seemed to try control me too.”

 “Control you?” Raph asked.

 “It wanted me to join them.” Donnie replied. “At least that’s my guess.”

 Another silence. He looked at them. Raph looking at him with understanding eyes, Mikey seemed to be worried, and Leo looked at him with wide eyes. Horror, guilt.

 “Don’t blame yourself dumdum.” Donnie warned. He knew his twin well enough to stop him spiraling into self-hate. And not because they’d comfort each other when they had these moments of heavy guilt or self-hate at times.

 “I shouldn’t have asked you to do something like that without knowing what exactly was it.” Leo said. “I am sorry Donnie.”

 “Don’t.” He cut him off. “I wanted to do that anyway. It was an efficient information against the Krang as well.”

 “You learned about their genocides.” Leo pointed out.

 “Exactly. And that’s why what you did was insane, reminder.” Donnie glared at him.

 Leo huffed. “Can’t even apologize and have a heartfelt moment without being accused with your past decisions.”

 Donnie grabbed the pillow he was sitting on and threw it on his face. Leo yelped, “Hey!”

 “You deserved it, idiot.”

 “Rude.”

 Suddenly Donnie was pulled into a side hug. He didn’t need to look to know it was Rapha. The big guy had that emotional look on his face. “Raph gets it, and he is very proud of you sharing this.”

 “Thanks Raph.” Donnie said, relaxing in the hug a bit. He was still feeling the nervousness from remembering everything, but he didn’t mind Raph’s hug. It was comforting. Then he decided to ask something he was wondering for a long time, hopping it wouldn’t hurt Raph now. “When you were... you know... was it like that too?”

 Raph took a deep breath. “Kind of?” He replied. Then voice a little quieter, and yet bravely he explained. “I didn’t see what you did see, at least not during my time like that, but my mind was empty and all I felt was needing power and accomplishing my mission.”

 That was enough for what he wanted to know. Donnie decided to not ask anything else. “I’m sorry big guy.”

 “It is fine.” He said. “Genuinely, I appreciate everything guys. You helped me a lot in the past weeks.”

 It was true. Raph, unlike Donnie, had accepted help. Had admitted remembering parts of his time under Krang’s control, and that he had nightmares often. Raph didn’t want to tell them everything about that time, but he had shared enough for them to understand. Enough to get help. Maybe Donnie should’ve done the same.

 “Is there anything we can do to help you Donnie?” Raph asked.

 He still could, actually. “I...” He began, whispering. “...I don’t have nightmares but... there are times I fear I will feel like that again.” He admitted. “I can’t sleep.”

 “So, this is why you spent hours awake during our turtle pile.” Raph realized.

 Donnie nodded. Okay, end of the emotional stuff, right? He didn’t want to go into more details anyway. “That’s all from me. So, uh, we can move on?”

 “You are terrible at this.” April shook her head with a smile. “But we can work on it. Right, Mikey?”

 Mikey was uncharacteristically quiet. When all eyes were on him, he blinked confusedly, “Sorry, I was thinking something.”

 “Something?” April raised a brow.

 “Mhmm.” He was still fidgeting.

 Nobody was going to let it slip, Donnie knew that. He was proven right when Raph smiled softly at Mikey, “Want to join to hug?”

 Mikey looked at him with big eyes before nodding. As Mikey wrapped his arms around them, Donnie noticed his arms trembling slightly. “Is it your arms?” He questioned.

 “No.” He replied.

 “What’s wrong, big guy?” Raph asked softly.

 Quiet. Then, “I should’ve done more.”

 “What?”

 Mikey snuggled more towards Raph, “I should’ve done more to help. Then none of you would’ve ended up this hurt.”

 Donnie looked at Raph, confused. Raph looked back him with surprise. Before any of them could say anything though, Leo talked. “Mikey, what the shell are you talkin’ about? You literally broke some science law stuff to save my tail that day.”

 Mikey turned slightly to look at Leo, “But I didn’t do anything like you did.” He said. “Raph got everyone safe, Donnie controlled a spaceship, April, Dad and Junior got Krang Sister, and you stopped Krang Prime!”

 Everyone looked at him confused. “Mikey, you realize that without you I could have ended up be dead, right? Heck, we all would be, considering it is your future version who sent Junior back in time.” Leo said. “You even threw a freaking building at Krang.”

 “...It still doesn’t feel enough.” Mikey whispered. “I am sorry, it doesn’t make any sense.”

 “Actually, it does.” April interrupted. She turned to Shelldon who was watching them all silently the whole time. “I am not sure, but wasn’t there something about feeling bad for not going through something others did?”

 Shelldon was quick to answer, Donnie feeling proud at how fast Shelldon could gain information on situations like this. “The closest match seems to be survivor’s guilt.” He answered. “Survivor guilt or survivor's guilt is a mental condition that occurs when a person believes they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic or tragic event when others did not.” He explained, reading an article he found. “Survivor’s guilt is a response to an event in which someone else experienced loss, but you did not. While the name implies this to be a response to the loss of life, it could also be the loss of property, health, identity or a number of other things that are important to people, is another definition from a different a source.” He added.

 “Close enough, thanks Shelldon.” April turned back to Mikey. “Maybe it’s something like this?”

 “Oh. How didn’t I think of this?” Mikey questioned with surprise.

 “It’s okay, even Doctor Feelings can forget details.” Raph tried to reassure him.

 “That’s why he should take a break.” Leo said. Then he proceeded to join the hug. “And you too. You did amazing back there, Mike. Don’t let your thoughts deceive you.”

 “As an exception, I have to agree with him.” Donnie nodded. “You were very brave back there, Angelo.”

 “Thanks guys.” Mikey smiled with teary eyes. “You are the best.”

 April joined the hug as well, “So are you.”

 Donnie was sure things were already better. Now only if his dumdum twin opened up too—

 “Hey, Raph, if you don’t mind me asking,” Leo suddenly broke the comforting silence. “When you answered Donnie’s question… Is there something you haven’t told us?”

 Donnie turned to Raph. If Leo suspected of something, it was worth to follow his lead. He was a good observer. Raph avoided to look at them, so it should be true that Leo was right.

 “It isn’t that important.” He shrugged it off.

 “Are you sure? You seem to be stressed about it.” April said, “You know you can tell it to us if it bothers you.”

 Raph sighed, “I don’t wanna burden you guys with that. Really, I can handle it.”

 “Okay… but don’t burden yourself.” Mikey reminded. “If it we can, we will help. Just tell us.”

 “Thanks for the support, Mikey.” Raph smiled genuinely.

 Mikey hugged him tighter as a response.

 Donnie watched as Raph looked at the ceiling. He was considering. Donnie knew Raph would see nightmares that wouldn’t let him sleep. Raph was no night owl, it troubled him a lot. Even if he had tried to hide it, it would have been obvious. But Donnie had never thought there being another possible reason keeping him awake.

 He held his hand and squeezed. A silent support, a reminder that they were here. Something the siblings would do when one of them was having a bad day and not being able to talk. Or when the world would become too loud for words. Or just when they wanted to remind each other they were by each other’s side without telling it.

 After a moment, Raph squeezed back.