#but i still see her around even though she retired that same year lol

[starswallowingsea]

amazed i havent lost this little pink dreidel i won when i was like 8

[msnihilist]

Idea for a fic I just had, sharing it because I will probably never write it:

CH.1

During "Lost in Fairy World," Hazel and Dev stumble upon Timmy's old Chosen One statue, of himself holding the White Wand. Hazel is intrigued to see a statue of a human in Fairy World, and wonders if he was a godchild, like them. Dev doesn't really care, and is exceedingly jealous of whatever this human did to get himself memorialized this way.

When Cosmo, Wanda, and Peri catch up with the kids, Hazel asks about the statue. (She's already got her own amazing story written in her head, lol.) Dev says something to the effect of, "What did this loser do to get a statue of himself?"

Peri immediately takes offense to that, snapping that Dev isn't allowed to call him a loser. "Well, why not? What's so great about him?" "He's my brother."

Wanda and Cosmo are very uncomfortable with this conversation and visibly saddened. But they tell an abridged version of the story since the kids are curious and Peri didn't really remember it all, since he was a baby at the time.

Through the story, Wanda and Cosmo get caught up reminiscing, getting stuck on the funny little details and wishfully recounting their misadventures with Timmy. It's clear that they love him very much. (Hazel isn't jealous. She isn't.)

Hazel asks where Timmy is now and doesn't get an answer. After the five of them get back to Earth, Cosmo and Wanda retire early for the night and Peri is quiet with Dev, too.

CH.2

Dev thinks that they should track this "Timmy Turner" down. (He wants to prove that he's better than this guy, but doesn't want to admit to himself why he wants Peri's love/attention like that.) Hazel thinks they should leave well-enough alone, because talking about Timmy made their fairies so sad. (Sad like how she gets sad about Antony, but at least she can call her brother. None of the fairies spoke about Timmy in the present tense.)

Dev convinces her by saying that it'll make them happy if they can reunite the fairies with Timmy. Hazel reluctantly agrees.

It's pretty easy to track Timmy down. Turns out that he lives in the city, and his buckteeth are the same as they are on the statue. Dev and Hazel immediately clock him. They come up with an excuse to talk to Timmy by stealing his wallet and then "kindly" returning it to him. After which, Hazel insistently talks about anything and everything to Timmy, because what's he gonna do? Tell two kids to fuck off?? No, he's a polite adult and he endures this weird interaction.

Except Hazel and Dev then keep following Timmy around, learning his schedule so they can keep talking to him. Hazel needles little details about Timmy's life out of him, and realizes that he's lonely and clearly missing something. This makes her determined to reunite him with Cosmo and Wanda (even though a part of her desperately doesn't want to share). Dev is still convinced that Timmy is a loser. He speculates that there's no way this guy saved the planet, and Cosmo and Wanda were probably just talking him up.

Either way, Hazel slowly forces Timmy to be friends with her. He is an adult, so he's slow to admit that he's lonely enough to be friends with a ten-year-old, but Hazel reminds him of a kind girl he used to be friends with as a kid wears him down and he grows to tolerate and then even enjoy running into her around the city.

CH.3

Hazel eventually arranges for Timmy to meet her at the fountain, and also asks Cosmo and Wanda to be there in their human forms. She's super excited for them to finally meet again!! (Dev doesn't tell Peri about this — he doesn't want to admit that he's worried it will go too well if they do meet up again.)

Except that when Timmy arrives, Cosmo and Wanda aren't happy to see him. They look completely devastated. Timmy greets Hazel and awkwardly introduces himself to Cosmo and Wanda. Cosmo bursts into tears and flees. Wanda sticks around long enough to mumble an excuse and then also leaves. Timmy is confused, and Hazel doesn't know what she did wrong.

When she finds Cosmo and Wanda, they confess that they have been keeping an eye on Timmy. How could they not, you know? But it hurt too much to see him living his own life, doing fine without them. They started godparenting Hazel in part to have a distraction, so that they aren't thinking about Timmy and aren't watching him. Seeing him in person brought those ten-thousand years of hurt to the surface.

They also explain to Hazel that Timmy doesn't remember them at all, and that's the worst part — that all of the love they had for each other ended up meaning nothing at all, that they got too close to a godkid and paid the price and there's nothing they can do about it.

Hazel is crushed, but also not giving up. She tells them that Timmy does need them, he's an adult but his life is still empty. No one ever really stops needing their parents.

Wanda, tearfully, says, "But we're not his parents." That's the reality of their situation, and they have to face it no matter how much it hurts.

CH.4

Her plan a bust, Hazel leaves Wanda and Cosmo alone and goes to talk to Dev about what happened. She wonders how awful Peri must feel, sympathizing that she wouldn't know what to do with herself if she just woke up one day and Antony didn't remember her.

Dev (who is getting really fed up with hearing about Timmy) can't and refuses to empathize. He says that he's always been fine as an only child, and if he's supposed to be a "distraction" for Peri, then the least he could do is act like Dev is a priority instead of moping about someone who doesn't even care about him all day.

Hazel asks where all of this is coming from, Dev sneers that Peri hasn't been the same since they visited the statue. Peri doesn't talk about it, but it's clearly about Timmy. Hazel tells him that Peri is obviously hurting, and Dev snaps that he's hurting, too, and Peri should be doing his job. (Why do people only care about him when its their job?)

Hazel simply asks Dev why he's hurting, and Dev freezes. He doesn't really know how to articulate all of his upset and anger, and that forces him to pause and quiet himself. He then admits to Hazel that everyone is so obsessed with Timmy, even she's been hanging out with that loser more than him. And Dev just. Misses them. Wants attention. He wonders if anyone will care about him if he were to disappear, the way that the fairies care about Timmy.

Hazel assures him that she would care. She'd cry over him for 10,000 years at least! Which makes Dev giggle, even though he's still trying to be upset. Still, Hazel apologizes. She was trying to make everyone happy, and she didn't realize that she was failing him. Dev brushes her apology off, saying, "It's not your job to make me happy — it's Peri's. He's just been slacking."

Hazel also admits that she's jealous of Timmy, too. She feels bad for being jealous, but that doesn't mean that she's not. She knows that Cosmo and Wanda love her, but she also knows that she'll never replace Timmy for them.

The fairies finally reveal that they were listening the whole time. (After they left, Cosmo and Wanda went to Peri to tell him about what Hazel and Dev were doing behind their backs. Peri is at first upset that Dev kept Timmy a secret from him, but also acknowledges that he isn't really surprised. Dev is a complicated, hurt kid, and he needs more than what Peri has been giving him, especially lately.)

Cosmo assures Hazel that she can't replace Timmy, but no one could replace her, either. She's wonderful all on her own, and Cosmo and Wanda adore her — they wouldn't want her any other way.

Peri apologizes to Dev for not doing his job. Dev awkwardly accepts, then tells Peri that his job is to grant wishes, not "care" about Dev. Peri teases him by saying, "If that was my job, I would be working over-time." He says that Dev isn't a "distraction," at all, and that if Peri didn't want to be with him, he could leave at any time. Reaffirming that he's here because he wants to be spurs Dev into hugging Peri, albeit only briefly.

With all of the apologies and hugs out of the way, Dev asks to see Da Rules. He flips to the section about losing your fairies and says, "It says here that a godchild must lose memories of their fairies and all things magic... But it doesn't say that another godchild couldn't wish those memories back."

The fic ends with Timmy at the fountain again. Hazel approaches with Dev, and the fairies in their human forms. She asks Timmy if he remembers the three of them. Timmy confesses that he doesn't. Hazel grins: "I wish that you did."

Fin

[mistymisfit]

So long, Marianne I

Summary: Reader is a spy working undercover in Gotham when she meets Jason Todd, who despite her better judgement she forms a very close friendship with. This story follows their escape from Arkham asylum, their fall out and the times they run into each other as they get older.

Relationship: AK!Jason x Meta!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence (I'm serious, tho- in canon it's also pretty violent), angst, hurt/no comfort (for now), this series is just my excuse to write angst lol.

A/N: *CIPA means Congenital insensitivity to pain and anhydrosis aka people who are unable to feel pain. see the end for more notes :)

Word Count: 4,2K

Read on AO3

Part 2- Masterlist

He repeats his question one more time before kicking your stomach again, "Who are you?". He's been asking the same thing for the past... month? Time gets blurry when you're kidnapped. Fuck, undercover work sucked no matter who you did it for. Whether it was your actual boss or the big bad bat himself, they should all make it up for making you endure this--make it up by dying, you thought. God, whose stupid idea was it again? Letting yourself be kidnapped by the Joker so they could track his lair and see if he had any connections to your current case, ah yes... your boss. Not even Batman would ask you to do that, at least the man had some moral code he hung onto, maybe a little too tight. You've earned an early retirement after this assignment, almost two years living in Gotham, out of everywhere. But what neither you or your boss expected was that he'd know your "secret identity" was fake, that he would torture and kill the agents who worked with you and pretended to be your family--or that they'd sell you out. You whisper, they were not even words just an unintelligible sound. He lowers down, putting his ear close to your mouth to be able to listen better and asks you to repeat yourself. You bite him, as hard as you can and draw blood, lots of it which you spit out with a smirk.

"Fuck you" You taunt and he just laughs, holding his wounded ear. The laughing is excessive, it reverberates around the entire room and you brace for the next impact. But it never comes.

"I think it's time you met a friend we have in common" His smile makes dread set in on you, who? By his standards it could be anyone, from someone you actually knew to someone you've never met but was there to pick up on his dirty work as he went to do other things. He pushes you with his feet until you lay on your stomach and begins to cover your hands, you count the layers. First some kind of cloth, then plastic wrap, then aluminum foil, then a bag to hold it all together. Right, you let everyone believe your healing abilities could only work with your hands.

He drags you up, grabbing one of your arms as he walked you to a different room. The side of his head still bled, and you watched the blood fall down and how it got no reaction from him. He must be used to pain or there must be something wrong with his pain nerves. Maybe not enough to be CIPA* because you have seen him wince and experience pain before. Your feet fail you, you can barely take steps due to how weak you are. Every bite of food you've been forced to take ended up being spat or thrown up moments later. You can feel how chapped your lips are, how tangled your hair is, how deep the bags under your eyes must be, the way your arms hurt from being tied behind your back for too long, how much you must look like shit. He opens a door to a mostly dark room, you can only make out a figure sitting on a chair under the singular light in the entire room. He--yeah, it's a guy definitely, you think--he's got his head low, his posture isn't close to being okay and upon further inspection you realize he's tied to the chair. He's pushing to walk in his direction, and you recognize that hair, even though less dirty, and that side profile way less hurt. You knew that person, you knew him maybe a little too much for your mission.

Jason Todd was once your friend, possibly the only friend your age you've ever had. You met him when he was Robin, being instructed that working with Batman may end up being beneficial at the end of the line you were told not to antagonize him. Even helped him every once in a while to get at least his respect. The first time you ever talked to Jason-- or rather Robin at the time, was when he sprained an ankle one night. You were there, trying to gain info on an illegal arms shipment that was arriving that night "We just have to know who bought it" they told you. You weren't there to stop them, you barely were allowed to actually stop bad things from happening and sometimes you envied that in them. They were their own person, they could have lives, make their own decisions, have agency of their own. Instead you, poor you, you had nothing but your work, no family you knew of, no goals of your own, nowhere to go if you wanted to quit. You healed him, at least that you could do. Maybe word would get out of a new vigilante with "unspecified healing abilities", they didn't have to know you actually manipulated time and just turned time back to a moment they weren't hurt. And from that moment on, unknown to you, he had a crush on you.

He started following you around. It's not stalking he'd justify it, he was just investigating. Making sure whose side you were on because after all you were on the harbor the day he stopped some local gangs from getting their hands on bigger guns. But he found no more than your cover story, neither he or Batman could leave a secret identity be secret. He believed your cover story, no one had any reason to question it. You were just Marianne, a simple girl. A simple girl with superpowers who healed his ankle. Later, when you became closer, sitting next to each other on the rooftop of a building looking down on the city lights, and the traffic that still moved late at night, you explained to him that your powers came from a freak accident in a lab when you were a kid. That much was true, most of the things you told him were true. At the time you felt he was someone who understood you, and he felt the same. And that's how the both of you started developing feelings for each other. It was more than just a crush and the need to have the other closer kept getting stronger. You kept reminding yourself that you couldn't, that you were being so unfair to him, keeping him in the dark about who you really were, if he knew the truth he would never have trusted you. So when you were told he died, how Batman was so sure of it, you regretted everything. You were so decided on telling him the night he disappeared, why didn't you do it before? You've been living with that ever since, the regret, the guilt. And it only got worse when you found out he was dead, knowing he died not knowing your real name, he died believing your lies.

"No," you try to stop, not to get closer to his corpse. "what kind of trick is this?"

"Ah, come on- he's still your friend, isn't he?" You struggle, not letting him move you and putting your entire body weight into it, every strain of energy you had in trying to stop it. How sick is he? He kept his body all this time. Tears fell on your face just thinking about it. How much he suffered, how violent his last moments were, how he didn't get justice or a proper burial.

"You can't even respect the dead," You cry "I'm gonna rip your heart out of your chest with my bare hands, do you hear me? I'll make your death so violent even Batman will feel sick"

Your threats started falling out of your mouth faster than the logic in your brain could work, you shouldn't be saying those things. You couldn't be making empty promises like that, you knew you couldn't kill him. You would never be allowed to do it. He laughed, and laughed and pushed you to fall on your back right at the feet of your dead friend. You looked up, just a peak to see his face one last time but he didn't look decomposed, in fact he even had fresh blood on his face. You also saw his chest moving up and down very slowly, was he sleeping?

"Ah, how sweet of you" The man awes, pretending to be flustered by her death threats "but I didn't kill him"

He steps closer and slaps Jason's face, yelling "Wakey, wakey! You have a visit!"

You watch in shock at how he his eyes open so fast, how his head shoot up and the fear in his expression starts to settle in. He wore an orange jumpsuit, as if he was just an inmate more, his cheeks were stained with tears, there was dry blood on one of his nostrils and his lower lip had a cut. Not to mention the "J" scar on his face too.

"What did you do to him?" You ask, sitting up from where you were.

"We were just having fun together, right Jason?" He grabs his head from behind him to make him shake it, saying yes. "and you and I can have just as much fun, soon as you start telling the truth"

"Ma-Marianne?" His voice is rough and low, it was the first time you heard him scared.

"Yes," You crawl closer to him, and look up at him before resting your forehead in one of his legs to hide your face as you started to weep inconsolably "I'm so sorry, they said you were dead, that-"

There is a deadly silence filling the room , where you can only hear your ugly sobs. Jason doesn't respond and you didn't expect him to, but at least they let you cry in peace. Taking in the fact that he'd been alive all this time, thinking about what he's been put through as you mourned like an idiot when you should've kept looking for him. How you abandoned him, how everyone abandoned him. And that made you feel even worse than your initial thought of Joker not letting him rest after he died, because in that case there was nothing you could've done but now... You felt his leg move lightly and you looked up, maybe you were making him uncomfortable and this was his way of saying it. He mouthed a little "I love you" when he knew your captor wouldn't see it. Just then as you gave him a small nod and mouthed "I love you too" you saw he was crying too. Soon his tears fell on you, and he moved his shoulder and turned his head to wipe them off as he sniffed.

"Aww, isn't it romantic, Mr J?" Harley's voice sounds from behind you but you couldn't bring yourself to look away from him. You were getting out there tonight, fuck your cover, fuck your job, he was the only thing that mattered right now.

"Young love," He sighs, dreamy, as if he knew what he was talking about. Like he knew what love felt like at all in any way, shape or form. "We'll have a little menage a trois, It'll be fun dont cha' think?"

And soon enough you felt Harley's arms holding you down as he put a rag over your face and proceeded to throw water. Jason screamed, asking them to stop, that you had nothing to do with them. You coughed when they stopped, at least maybe your face was clean and free of the blood you bit from him earlier. You could handle getting waterboarded, you've been trained to endure all sorts of torture methods. What you couldn't handle was hearing and seeing him like that.

"Now, your little girlfriend hasn't been entirely honest with you"

"I don't know what you're talking about, I've already told you who I am" You insist, this time actually desperate.

"Ah- and who are these two then? Liars?" He shows him, not you, a picture of your fake parents dead. Then he shows it to you, of course Jason thought they were your parents, you gave him no reason to believe otherwise. "Cause you see, I thought you were just another annoying kid, getting in the way of my game with the bat- but you're much more than, you're too good"

Silence, you were trained better than this. They put the cloth on your face again, trying once more to get the truth out of you.

"Hey, maybe he knows" He switches up quickly, and takes a piece of broken wood to hold it over Jason "Come on tell me, who's her? And why is your old man protecting her?"

"Her name's Marianne, and he's protecting her because she's my friend"

"Ah-" He imitates a buzzer noise, like he was in some game show "Wrong answer" He hit him.

"Stop it!" You yell, as he repeatedly hit him. You struggle trying to break free from the woman holding you. Until you managed to hit her with my head somehow. You feel the pain in your scalp from her teeth hitting you too.

"This is useless mista' J," Harley spoke, doubt filled her voice. Maybe you were telling the truth, maybe you were just who you said you were and he was too lost to see it. "the girl's been saying the same for months, and her parents weren't even that convincing when they said they weren't her folks"

You watch them leave, him being visibly angry at her for questioning him. Only for him to come back moments later, almost bolting to Jason saying "I have a show to run outside, could you two behave and wait for me here?" Like you had much of a choice, then he said "And hold this for me, boy" before stabbing him. Of course he couldn't stop by without leaving him with an open wound of any sort. You rushed to him before the door was even closed, you removed the knife from the wound with your mouth, your hands still tied behind your back and wrapped up in multiple different layers in a failed attempt to stop you from using your power. Your eyes lit up as you healed him, his pained grunts eventually coming to a stop.

"I bet I look like shit right now" You joke, resting your cheek on his thigh once more. T rying to hide the fact that, despite the situation you were in, you were still a bit embarrassed that he saw you like that.

"You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen in my life" He confesses, not a single strain of joke or sarcasm in his statement and it makes you blush before you move to the back of his chair to untie him.

"You only say that because you want me to free you" You say before grabbing the rope with your teeth, taking longer to undo the knots than it would with your hands on your back and not being able to see what you were doing. If only they didn't think your powers worked from your hands.

"His ear, you did it?" He asked, getting a muffled sound of confirmation from you. "That's my girl"

The scoff in which he said it made you blush again, your cheeks were heating up tonight. He knew if anyone was ever getting him out it would be you, not Batman. His mentor probably started to look for a replacement as soon as he went off the grid. He knew you would never betray him, that's the only thing the Joker couldn't torture or manipulate out of him, the one thing he could hold on to. His kidnapper was wrong, he was never Batman's or his. He's always been yours, probably since you healed his ankle. The ropes around his arms loosen until he's free again, his muscles were sore but soon the adrenaline would kick in and rid him from all pain. He frees his legs in a hurry as you stand up in front of him, he stands up too again. The stretch felt good, moving on his own felt good, and seeing you again felt even better. You turned around, it was his turn to get rid of the ropes now. He grabbed the knife that you couldn't use and cut through your bindings. Still he couldn't help but think about the worried look on your face, what are you thinking about? How to get out? Him? Whatever it was, he took a moment and the second you turned to face him again he wrapped you in a hug. Feeling your warm body against him for the time in so long, you return the affection hugging him just as tightly. He feels relieved, finally a gentle hand lays on him, a hand that he knew could never hurt him.

"Jay, I-" You hesitate, hiding your face in his chest while trying to hide and get the courage to tell him at the same time "I have to tell you something"

"Can it wait until we get out?" You shake your head no, he had to know so you could break out from there. I mean, it was kinda hard to break out of Arkham without help.

"No, uhm, we need to call for help" You start "There's a chip on me, I need you to cut me and take it out"

"What? Help from who?"

"My agency" You admit in a whisper, and just as fast as you got him back you feel how you're loosing him a second time. He lets go of you, and you can feel the distance he's putting between you two more than any torture Joker put you through.

"Where is it?" He asks, his tone cold and detached. You try to hide how hurt you were, you should've expected it he had every reason to be mad.

"Here" You lift your shirt up and point to the place where the tracker was, on your lower stomach right above your hips, on your left side.

He nods, and you lay down on the floor so he can get to work. He touches you, only to get a feel of where it was and you try not to think that this will probably be the last time you feel him so close as you put your arm over your mouth to stop any noise that may come out of you. He cuts your skin, and you bite your arm and hope it's quick. With the end of the knife he swiftly pulls it out in between all the blood coming out of you. You tell him to step on it so it gets destroyed and sends the message, as you heal yourself. He wasn't even watching you, his eyes were fixed on the door processing yet another betrayal.

"Jay, I wanted to tell you-" You try to explain but he cut you off shooting a serious glare at you.

"I don't care," He was cold, his voice severe and it even scared you "get me the fuck out of here and we'll talk"

You nodded on the verge of tears, then deciding that holding on to the hope than when you two were somewhere safer he'd be open to have a conversation was your safer bet to maintain some sanity. Maybe then he'd listen to your apologies. At this point you weren't hoping for absolution but a truce would suffice. Why did you have to go and fuck it up? Why did you have to go and fall for him? You knew who you were, a spy trained for most of the life you remembered who worked undercover in Gotham, you knew you were not supposed to have any ties or emotional connections. You cursed at whoever gave you feelings and made you human, instead of whoever turned you into a machine.

"We should get moving, get to the extraction point"

He just nodded, it was short and formal, so unlike what you were used from him. He followed behind you as you carefully opened the door. There were no guards outside, so you moved. Soon an alarm started to blare through the rotten and worn down asylum wing, that's why the hallway was so empty. Two inmates run past both of you, pushing you to a wall in the process. You reach to grab Jason's wrist to make sure he's behind you but stop halfway through. Probably being touched by you was the last thing he wanted. So you just walk, decidedly pushing through this situation you were in. Armed with nothing but your fists you take out a man twice your size, you easily dodge his punches and swiftly move around him to hit him in key points that he leaves open. Jason watches, and realizes as you jump to the man's shoulders and snap his neck that you had been holding back all this time. He understands you have been capable of using lethal force but chose not to, though he doesn't know the reason for that. Was it because of Batman? Was it because you were ordered not to? He pushes down the thought, as he should be more focused on the guy he was fighting instead of you. You keep moving, going up to were a helicopter would be waiting for you. What you didn't expect was the Joker's backup plan, Death-stroke, pointing a gun right at your head. Shit, you didn't even tell him about your powers yet, he was going to be even more pissed if you didn't find another way out of this soon.

"Out of my way kid" He tells you "I'm only getting paid for not letting him leave alive, but I don't mind wasting a bullet"

"Oh, fuck off" you sigh tired, you just wanted to get out of there. You were exhausted, you wanted a shower and to sleep on a real bed and if it wasn't too much to ask maybe see the light of the sun. So you froze him, time stopped for the man in front of you. "move, it won't last long"

Jason wants to ask, he's itching to know. How did you do it? How did healing people translate into what you just did? He had so many questions for you, about you. Every time a new question came into his head he felt even more offended, he thought he knew you so well and turns out you'd made him out to be an idiot. He feels like an idiot and for that he's even angrier at you for lying, for keeping things from him when he had been so vulnerable to you. That you knew everything about him yet he knew barely anything about you and even what he knew he doubted it was even real at all. But out sheer stubbornness he wasn't going to ask, he'd rather take the curiosity to his grave.

The loud noise of a helicopter becomes more clear as you head up, and then you recognize the all black uniform and standard weapon of your agency. Confusion painted your face, why would they send backup instead of it just being an extraction team. Usually they didn't have a care in the word if you got out in time or not, even going as far as leaving you behind once. They weren't usually this helpful, or willing to use resources on a simple rescue mission. The help didn't last long since you heard the gun shot coming from where you came from. Shit, it wore off you better leave quickly. You tell him to run, to keep up the pace and he does, promising himself this was the last time he would trust you. It was all fine and well, you could see the escape route clearly you almost made it when you heard it. Jason held the bleeding wound from the bullet, stumbling until you helped him. You stole a gun from a passing agent, they wouldn't notice since it was just their back-up, and shot at the mercenary. Your aim was just a little off, since you were also holding a person with your other arm but you managed to hit his arm. The bullet just grazed him, your friend didn't have the same luck. You shot again, just to create some cover so you could move. It worked, you made it to the helicopter before he passed out from the blood loss. Sadly you couldn't heal him since the bullet was still there, so in tears as you took off you managed to stop his bleeding until you got help.

Of course your supervisor wasn't happy about you escaping earlier than expected or that you bought him along. But after some promises and insisting, they agreed not to let him die and took him to the closest headquarters. You knew the conditions they put on you were harsh but you thought nothing was worth more than his life, so you agreed. Even if it mean never seeing him again, why did it matter anyways? It's not like he wanted much to do with you after today.

A/N: Like I said on the notes on ao3, I'm sensitive and this is my first time posting what I write in a LONG time so have patience with me lol.

[rewritingcanon]

[jegulily] worse than jegulus but somehow less annoying idk how to explain it

dude this is so real! like it's hard to explain but it captures those feelings perfectly. like it is worse in a sense that it directly romantically connects an oppressed woman with her oppressor and that's gross, but it's also less annoying because of how fandom acts, they at least try to act like they don't completely erase Lily? I guess? so it's more palatable to 'see' rather than the complete erasure or demonization or downgrading that happens with jegulus, though you can still tell that she's treated like a third wheel and the lesser one in that poly and the only posts you see about the ship not working cause one of them feels like they don't fit in are always about Lily lol. but in the end both still bad in a sorta same way, cause they both only serve one character, Regulus irrelevant Black and that's it, they only exist for one character, cause neither James or Lily or their fans gain anything from these ships, they're both deliriously happy with each other and don't give a flying crap about the new twink of the month and don't 'need' him in their ships. yet still one of those camps is at least trying to fight the misogyny allegations while the other is just blatantly misogynistic.. so like there are layers and levels to the badness and annoyance here lmfao

im literally dying over “regulus irrelevant black” and “new twink of the month” because thats exactly how these new death eater babygirls feel to me all the time and we seriously need to retire the image. and i really said “idk how to explain it” and then you came and explained it perfectly.

it sucks because i do wish there was more love for polyamorous ships in fandom in general but did the popular had to have been jegulily?? youre also completely right about how jegulily shippers (from what i’ve seen) are mostly regulus fans, because the whole ship does seem to center around him in some way. it’s so funny how often lily would feel shoved into the ship absentmindedly when in reality the third wheel would be regulus. and there would be a third wheel in this scenario because canon lily and canon james wouldnt want to touch regulus within a ten foot pole. lily, who dumped her childhood best friend over his prejudices against muggles/muggleborns (that extended years of her having to look the other way) would want to voluntarily put herself in a relationship that could so much as entail the same sort of bullshit. james, who joined a whole ass war to defend the rights of the oppressed and had probs a million bitching sessions with sirius over how shitty his family was (including regulus) would want to date said character? mmm uh huh okay. fanon is getting out of control its time we curb stomp a lot of it.

ive yapped too much too long im not gonna even get into the jegulus part. it makes me too maddddd

[corvus-ace]

Okumura Haru, aka Noir: an analysis

so, my friend Keeper wanted me to help them get a sense of Haru's character because they missed her introduction and a fair amount of her confidant, and the result was this analysis. fast forward like a month and I realized "hey, this would be fun to post online actually" and here I am lol. fair warning, it's long and also in bullet point paragraphs cause I was trying to write quickly at the time and have since fleshed a few of them out a bit more (I have a lot of feelings about Haru lmao)

without further ado, here we go!

Haru's past

-first and foremost, Haru is the heir to a fuck off huge corporation. her father basically owns the equivalent of mcdonalds. though she doesn't always act like it, she is fundamentally a rich kid

-now in my original analysis, it had been a while since I'd actually gone through Haru's confidant, and I had mistakenly believed that Haru had at least to some extent been raised to take over the business. pretty sure I thought that cause I can't tell the difference between actual canon and stuff I've read in fics lol. but after playing through her confidant again and realizing she actually had zero business experience whatsoever actually makes her even more impressive in my eyes, because she more or less had to teach herself how to run an entire corporation, and by the end of her confidant she has a pretty solid handle on things already (doubly impressive because her confidant starts so late game, so depending on how fast you play through it... she's learning all this in like, two months max if you're getting through it before 3rd sem)

-in addition to that: rather than her father retiring and placing her in charge, she is literally thrust into it by her father's death. so she's learning all this business management, getting used to phantom thievery, and grieving her father all at the same time???? I could never

-presumably Haru inherited everything after her father's death, putting her in full control of his wealth? (I don't really know how businesses and shareholders work.) Haru's mother doesn't appear to have been in the picture, although to be fair that could mean she's either dead, has left, or is just never shown on-screen. I don't remember any distinct mentions of her

-her father's view of her: the conspiracy has obviously been in action for at least around two years (based on the timeline of the mental shutdowns and psychotic breaks inflicted by Akechi after he joined the conspiracy). Okumura Kunikazu's view of his daughter would presumably have become distorted during this time; obviously we don't necessarily know the timeline of any Palace formations except Futaba's and Sae's, since one was shown on-screen and the other discussed more than once. by the time we begin Okumura's Palace, he views Haru as nothing more than a tool for him to use in his financial and political ambitions ("subservient puppet" and her cognitive form's appearance as an obedient and extremely weak robot). he also is ignorant of her wants and needs, evident by him arranging to marry her off to Sugimura for his own political gain

-now, because Okumura becomes so distant from Haru as his Palace develops, whether intentionally or not, Haru is kept fairly far away from her father's unethical business practices. obviously she has her own suspicions as indicated in game, but seeing as her father doesn't really tell her anything, she presumably still had at least a decent opinion of him up until his Palace

Haru's character/personality

-Haru is very kind by nature. her childhood initially encouraged this (the cafe her grandfather used to run) but because of her father's distortion and changed parenting style she has mostly retreated into becoming a "seen but not heard" people pleaser. this results in a very reserved persona, but she isn't exactly shy - she is willing to reach out to help people, is generally friendly when approached (if you go up to her in the Shujin hallways before you even start the Palace, she's very polite, even if not explicitly cheerful), and as proved not long after we formally meet her:

-if a core belief of hers is challenged, she will stand up for it. one of our first interactions with her in game, she isn't afraid to tell us that after listening to our flimsy explanation of our motives as the Thieves, she cannot work with us. she calls us out immediately on not helping our own teammate, and tells us she cannot work with people who aren't certain of their motives/goals (I don't remember her exact wording but I remember it was definitely something along those lines). in short, she cannot trust us to truly want to help her father

-first proper meeting: other than the seconds immediately after her entrance alongside Morgana in her father's palace, she is very flustered and constantly getting things confused. based on my understanding of her as a person, I believe this is because although she already considers Morgana a friend, he's clearly established a role for her to play as well (replacing the Phantom Thieves with her, taking the spotlight for future changes of heart, etc) and she knows, deep down, that she is still being used, even if Morgana does have good intentions and wants to teach her to help people. deep down she knows this isn't the real her either. her full Persona awakening showcases this pretty clearly with all the fucking guns and rocket launchers hidden in Milady's skirt that are finally revealed (aka Haru's full, true strength simmering for a long time, hidden beneath the surface, because who in her life would have ever wanted her to be anything but obedient and weak?)

-she's also the one to push Morgana to be honest both with himself and the other Thieves, to admit he doesn't really want to leave and that he feels like this is the only place he belongs. she's struggled with being honest with herself in the past, accepting her true self and especially displaying it, and the Thieves helped her finally do that; given her kind nature I'm not surprised she wanted to be able to return the favor

-as we get to know her, we learn Haru is still very naturally kind and genuinely friendly. the thing is, she doesn't have a lot of friends. we don't see her interact with anyone (other than her father and fiance) beyond basic pleasantries until her formal introduction, including at Shujin. I'm fairly reasonably certain this is because almost everyone she's ever met has only seen her as "Okumura's daughter" rather than just Haru, her own person

Noir

-Haru is one of the strongest physical damage dealers, alongside Ryuji and Yusuke (both in terms of normal melee attacks and her powerful gun-type skills). she's also the only Thief other than Akechi who has gun-type skills on her Persona - and it's important to note that Akechi can only use gun-type skills in the third semester, with Loki and eventually Hereward, so Haru having gun-type skills significantly earlier in game than Akechi (especially with high crit chances) is quite useful. also her weapons are a grenade launcher and a large battle axe so that says a lot about her

-her Persona uses psy magic and ailment skills in addition to the gun-type skills. psy is particularly important since it triggers many kinds of technical hits, extra useful if you have a wide variety of ailments you can inflict via Joker's Personas. this also makes sense given the identity of her first tier Persona, Milady de Winter, the uncommonly beautiful and extraordinarily cunning female spy featured in The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas. Milady is also described as ruthless, which I feel is a good representation of how Haru acts as a Phantom Thief. now in addition to the other skills, she does have the ability to cure certain ailments and also recover more quickly from ailments, and can use heat riser to give significant buffs to a party member and makarakarn/tetrakarn to protect a party member from a magic or physical attack respectively. obviously the specific skills she has available to her depends on how you choose to build her in game (I personally tend to lean towards emphasizing her gun-type and support skills over her ailment usage/curing, since I have no shortage of ailments in Joker's Persona stock and prefer to use Haru as a damage dealer, but that's not really relevant lmao)

-also, Haru is a sadist who loves killing/destroying Shadows. probably all that repressed anger and unresolved trauma. as rich as her father is, I seriously doubt he paid for a therapist for her. rich and emotionally distant fathers are just like that

The Empress

-I have some issues with her confidant that I think are about to become very evident

-Haru is the Empress Arcana (number III) and it shows. she is a girl in a position of power (head of a corporation) and as mentioned before, she is very kind by nature, and quite nurturing as shown by her love and skill for taking care of plants. the people in charge of assigning cards did a particularly good job with her

-her confidant is less based on personal relationships like Ryuji's or Makoto's; instead it focuses on professional development and relationships with subordinates and corporate associates and shareholders. she spends a lot of time throughout her confidant events figuring out who to trust and how to shift Okumura Foods into something she can truly be proud of, with a strong focus on undoing all the unethical practices her father put in place. though she of course wasn't expecting to be put in charge so soon, she does a very good job managing the sudden responsibilities. we also have no reason to believe her grades were slipping during this time, so she appears to be able to manage her schoolwork (from a prestigious high school, no less) right alongside her new responsibilities

Miscellaneous

-Haru has no qualms about spending large amounts of money on her friends - we literally went to the equivalent of fucking disneyland after her father's Palace and she thought it was no big deal, although to be fair to her, that was technically a special situation as the park had already been rented out by her father for a company event that ended up being cancelled due to his change of heart, so she really just took over the reservation. it's worth noting that this point is heavily represented in fanfics (based on what I've seen across ao3), as fanon Haru is, for example, often willing to give Yusuke in particular plenty of money for food, train fares, etc. I have seen at least two fics (though I don't remember the authors or the titles) where she happily spends lots of money on the other Thieves

-out of the Thieves, Haru is one of the most vocal about her hatred and mistrust of the police. this is very, very evident in Strikers, and remains consistent throughout that story (and, side note, it's fucking hilarious seeing how offput Zenkichi is about it every single time)

-she also later embraces her brief stint as the "Beauty Thief" and it's something of an inside joke amongst the Thieves (not sure that's the right term but idk how else to describe it). there aren't any hard feelings; the Thieves are already pretty chill about it the moment she joins the group anyways. the other Thieves affectionately call her the Beauty Thief in Strikers, particularly Futaba and Morgana, and Haru is happy to really lean into it sometimes (Zenkichi does not understand this either and I think she enjoys that)

Final notes - based on my impressions of her; not really analysis

-Haru is one of the most willing to fight god, and one of the most likely to win

-mixture of cottagecore lesbian and warrior princess

-her association with purple is partially rooted in her psy abilities, of course, but it's also a color associated with royalty and elegance, particularly fitting for the Empress Arcana

-Haru is not allowed to drive and should never be allowed behind a steering wheel (Keeper, if you're reading this, you'll understand this much later)

-kinda already mentioned this but she's very good at gardening (can grow hp and sp restoratives for the Metaverse)

-she took ballet for years and was good at it, which makes sense since she's quite flexible, as well as having natural grace

Conclusion

well, if you made it this far, I hope you liked this self-indulgent analysis! I relate to Haru a lot, so I like to think I have a good sense of her, and hopefully I've done a good job of representing her in this post. there are a few other Thieves I have enough thoughts on to write analyses similar to this one, so I'll probably be making those pretty soon. and again, although this is very personally motivated, I do still hope someone out there will like reading them!

(and Keeper - I know you already read the first version of this and still wanted to read this version too, so a big thanks for enabling my brainrot lmao)

[feuqueerfire]

Lovely Runner Live Blogging

I've been seeing the “i found you girl i like being around you” edits on tiktok but before then, i’d also heard about the show and saw an ep 1 clip of when she runs up to him at the swimming pool. i’m a time travel show enjoyer and this show has been getting such good reviews, so I’m excited. my last few shows have been quite dark and violent and i kinda wanna go for another such show but think a lighter (yet emotional) show might do me some good so that i don’t burn out

Ep 1 (June 25)

2009

omg…

ah, he encouraged her to live through this time when she was contemplating suicide and ig later on she will do the same bc he unfortunately takes his own life before the time travel i think

Dec 31, 2022

13 years, how old were they then and how old are they now?

oh i knew she was a fan but she’s a biiiig fan

ah, they were in high school at the same time and his high school was across hers

some fans hate Sunjae bc he’s too popular and getting opportunities

the band members also seem to not like him and it could be bc of his popularity but he also seems resistant to being an idol in general and wants to retire so that might have smth to do with it

wow she’s really having a tough day: rejected from job bc it has no elevator and she has a wheelchair, late to the concert, and then lost the ticket omg

this scene of Sunjae putting in his in-ear and going on stage is now iconic to me bc of the edits, kept expecting to hear “i found you girl i like being around you” as background music loll

she’s really determined to be positive and make the most of everything, i expect a breaking point soon though

oh, in hyuk doesn’t want him to retire

phone crack

wheelchair stops

yeah the tears finally. what a fucking day

hehe they meet in the current timeline

lolll her getting annoyed that her friend came just when she could’ve been getting a ride w Sunjae

what is that jar that she gave him?

was it Sunjae who saved her from the accident?

the watch was weird for a second. i guess that's gonna be The Object that takes her back/causes everything

ahh he took meds and jumped off into the swimming pool.

this reminds me a bit of True Beauty but like the friend who passed away

time of death: Jan 1, 2023. 12am

dead at 34, so was 21 in 2009? 19 or 20 interactional age?

The fact that she Just saw him alive and seemingly well a few hours ago must make it even more unbelievable

Traveled back

her legs work again

okay, I'd seen this Instagram edit of this scene as the very first thing I saw from this show but I didn't know when I first watched it just how awkward/embarassing this is T.T

aw, is he also going through something now? her talking about how he went through this alone made him soften

SHE SAID SARANGHAE SUNJAE-AH?! please

her still being like 'this is my dream' oh she's gonna be mortified when she realizes this is real in a time travel universe

lolol she's like I'm not dreaming? Fuck, am I dead?

pls i'm dying, Sunjae's so confused while she's acting as if they're both dead now (and mustn't cross the bridge)

so did Sunjae take the watch?

Ah, he probably had to quit being a swimmer and become an idol in the original timeline too because of his shoulder

June 2008

So are they seniors in high school right now?

ahh she gets to see her grandma from 14 years ago when she still recognized Sol before alzheimers or whatever T.T

Aw, Sol cries every time she looks at Sunjae

ah, the parallels of Sunjae holding the umbrella over Sol and asking why she's crying now and in the original timeline

I watched around the first 30-40 minutes of this episode on my iPad while I was on the train (and also like 10 minutes in a restaurant lol). I'm likely going to have to take the train a lot starting the second week of July so I had been thinking that maybe I'll save this one for that time and watch like some raunchy BLs and GLs now that I can't watch on the train but the first ep was quite good, I think I'll binge it now oof.

Ep 2 (July 6)

Since Episode 1, I've watched My Stand-In Eps 1 - 11, Blank Season 1, and reread Mistborn: The Final Empire.

"i can fool a 19-year-old, right?" lol Sol

who is this guy? i know there's a love triangle, is this the second lead?

the people who go back in time/become younger scolding the other kids who seem the same age as them is always funny

ah, so funny, he's the first guy Sol stanned

lmfao please why's he running after the bus

the little icons getting farther and farther away and the song about going farther away playing lmfao

omg, she can't tell him the future/what will happen if he does something? time stops?

woah, you really could just stop time and do a bunch of stuff while shouting future facts lmfao

pls, this future-telling grandma cosplay

Sunjae jealous of Taesung already

how does she keep finding herself in these situations, plssss

like Sunjae is literally so correct to be like what the fuck like actually but also T.T

that guy is indeed Sunjae's father and lmfao Sunjae was the one who borrowed the porn/erotic VHS that Sol's mother has been on the dad's case about

overly dramatic crosswalk scene but i guess it's fine since it's mirroring how she probably got into her accident originally and she has trauma from it

she's the one who gave Sunjae an umbrella first! Also i've def seen this scene from a tiktok or smth

pls so he didn't even mean to borrow the erotic video? smh

this is kinda like My School President when Tinn was trying to impress Gun but everything went wrong and he was being a loser lol

so these two episodes effected the future and there's a photo of Sunjae and Sol on the table but it didn't change the death

Ep 3 (July 6/7)

ah, so he didn't injure himself this time?

hilarious that he can't seem to confess while she's fangirling and cooing over him

the dad left his shoe like cinderella lmfao

eughhhh she's like fuck, you don't want me to be your fan anymore? let's be friends! while he's trying to confess

Sunjae's dad dramatic + full of expectations and pressure + getting ahead of himself

and Sunjae also not tell him about the injury

omg her brother and her friend are both home not noticing the fire in their sight?

does that much water even do anything to a fire? feels like you're not supposed to be doing that...

I wish they hadn't done this fire scene so humorously with the brother and friend, kinda took away from the weight of it. also i wonder if the fire or her mother burning her hand won't still happen bc stuff like the shoulder injury or the ball hitting Im Sol still happened even if in a different way than the original timeline

aw, glad his dad understood

lol she's drunk, how cute

is she gonna forget the confession and kiss? since she's yknow legit drunk. i wonder if ppl made a fuss about it because if it was a bl, this would def have been Discussed in the fandom

ah, ofc she doesn't rmr

bruh aghh it's like I can see where this is going with her listening to the recording + Taesung spotting her + Sunjae being far enough behind that he'll see them (+ he thinks he confessed last night and expects her to remember the kiss too)

i'm gonna kill somebody, she didn't even pause so the "I like you" is just playing with nobody to hear

omg travelling to original timeline

girl what?! how could you say you want to date Taesung or is that not really happening or like what's going onnnnn

Ep 4 (July 7)

Oh, Sunjae had not only saved her but was at the hospital too. He'd liked her throughout his high school time i guess but what about that final night, did he recognize her even then?

oh, he had. wild

ohhh she gave him a bunch of the candy that night that she had given him the very first time when she mistook him for a mailman

hmm okay so the Sunjae POV we got of that night was the original timeline before Sol's time travel thing, right? because the photo wasn't there? and the timeline that Sol's waking up in right now is slightly different based on what she had done?

ok the future had indeed changed

omg what the hell, why did that timeline's Sol reject Sunjae like that, like in this timeline, they were friends??? unless Sunjae was being a creep fr

i got spoiled about she can come back 3 times but how does she know only 1 time is left? also it's just been 10 days?! so why did Sol react like that, wtf

ah, so it's like she's kinda fighting with her 19-year-old self from the past who's in love with Taesung? and doesn't know Sunjae?!?! weird...

so the 19-year-old Sol thought she was possessed because her memory from when older-Sol came back was missing... interesting and complicating

lmfaoo exactly, I was saying she could stop time but shouting out future facts. hilarious to have her shouting celeb marriages

plsss how's she asleep on his floor

"i don't make friends with girls. how can a girl and a guy be friends?" alright lol.

why do we have Hyunjoo pooping her pants and that furthering her romance (?) with Sol's brother come onnn

ah, Taesung mommy issues and feelings of abandonment

yknow I do like Taesung and Im Sol's banter and back-and-forth

i'm cryinggggg, not young-Sol's birthday event for Taesung

it's suchhh a long song, i'm dying. and young Sol's fashion pls

hehe Sol telling Taesung how to treat young-Sol is cute actually

so many weird men... that taxi that went away? and now this guy...

is this Sol's accident but in this timeline?

ah, Sol realizing that Sunjae had saved her

okay, in that original timeline, i thought they just called a random number maybe and was confused and ig that's true but Sunjae specifically called Im Sol's number? or what? how'd he know it? and he knew that it was her he was talking to.

Ep 5 (July 7)

i wonder how the accident happened the first time and why Sunjae was there back then

this bra returning scene reminds me of True Beauty but I can't remember what Suho was trying to give Im Jukyeong, idk why I keep thinking pads??

okay i was gonna be tormented, so I skimmed and it's on ep 2 of True Beauty. She accidentally gave Suho a bag that said "thanks for keeping my bare face a secret" but he hadn't recognized her, so to get it back, she'd said that it has pads (i remembered this part at least)

cryingggg at her being like hmm he said he can't be friends with girls, so all those "just friends" rumours with girls were all real romances (as idol Sunjae). anyway i doubt it bc he seemed to forever be in love with her even over a decade later and that's just a trope I'm gonna have to get used to.

yesss i love a girl saving a guy from the common motorcycle/car trope and also girl kabadoning guy

Sol is cute trying to block all mentions of the swimming Olympics from Sunjae but plsss it's all becoming romantic moments and also iffy when you think about young-Sol having a boyfriend

oh, cop mentioning burying a body... i think I've heard that this show has a serial killer

in the original timeline, the taxi driver with the key indeed did something? but this time the other guy got there? and he's the serial killer or what

damn, taxi driver has Sol's flip phone

not Sol's brother and Sunjae meeting but Sunjae being punished for giving Sol alcohol

cryinggg Sunjae being curious and looking at Taesung's profile but he finds out

pls Sunjae getting mad at Sol's inability to bike reminds me of Tinn yelling at Gun about not knowing any math (My School President). when even the down bad secret crush bearing Sunjae and Tinn lose their minds teaching Sol and Gun lmfao

girl, why is Sunjae buying the same jacket as Taesung T.T but ig they're gonna have him fill in for the vocal... but he's not gonna fill in for Taesung

how humiliating to run into Taesung just as Sunjae bought and wore the bright red jacket because Taesung owns it too yikesss

and that's how the eclipse happened, though Taesung isn't in it for much longer i guess?

Taesung watching Sol watch Sunjae perform reminds me of Twinkling Watermelon

oh, intense yelling from Sol

double whammy of hearing the confession recording finally and Sunjae also telling her to break up with Taesung at the same time

Ep 6 (July 8)

ah, I’m Sol broke up with Taesung but I don’t know if that’s the end of it… but she also knows Sunjae’s confession…

sunjae is quite fun to watch like his despair at his “breakup with taesung” thing going wrong vs joy when taesung got broken up with

Sol’s brother does bother me, why is he so annoying

pls both Sunjae and Sol holding back to appear cool/not “shake the other’s heart” aghhh

Taesung’s “Oh, I think I liked you a lot” is funny

not Taesung getting into a car crash, damn it

so is Sep 1 the day her accident happens? I don’t remember the date. is it gonna happen again even though the bridge thing already happened? or is it a different thing?

Taesung’s dad (?) Kim cop is investigating the case of a he dead bod?

nooo now he has their address bc of grandma

oh, Sunjae confession

Taesung in hospital but his dad doesn’t visit and his friend doesn’t believe in him + he calls Sunjae to let him know that Sol’s mother is at the hospital, oh man

aw mannn Sol rejecting Sunjae because she knows she’s not in the right timeline and is gonna have to leave soon etc. does she realize she’s the one he liked in the original timeline too? he’s talking about liking the rain and on the original timeline radio show he also mentioned it

not having to take an umbrella to Sunjae on the day of Sol’s accident! and after she almost stayed home all day

omg she’s realizing right now that she was his first love back then too and she didn’t “confuse him”

tbf maybe this mans would’ve gotten her even if she didn’t leave right then. a fucking kidnapping

omg this taxi fucker really took her Again D:

Ep 7 (July 8)

oh on that original accident too Sol missed her stop on the bus and Sunjae was waiting with her in the bus, that’s how he was there on the time of her accident on save her

i’m watching this on the subway on my commute to/from work but there are two people talking in korean beside me and i feel awkward watching a kdrama beside them lol

okay they left a couple minutes later

oh at this bridge where her original accident happened is where she dropped that watch and the first time she time travelled, right?

omg who the hell grabbed her in this timeline? bc taxi driver was in the taxi still

good job to sunjae for connecting everything and figuring out the reservoir lmfao

ah, she went back to her time again and the young-Sol is back but also that's kind of oh no in a way, though Sunjae's clever i wonder if he'll be able to figure it out?

i knew from pics i saw that she can use her lefts in the future

Sunjae survived too

pls not her getting mistaken for a sasaeng, i don't even wanna watch anymore

what a different life

damn, young-Sol had another kidnapping a year later?

oh naurrr is Sunjae doing the "who are you? do we know each other?" thing because young-Sol did this to him after he helped her with the kidnapper?

oh he's not even here, it was a scenario in her head lol

lmfao crying, this Sunjae lovesss the attention and fame (though not the stalking)

the shenanigans of them justtt missing each other every time

i can't believe we're getting random enemies-to-lovers right now, especially with them texting each other antagonistically, this is soooo fun

i seriously need to go to sleep but ahh

owww

oh, the concert didn't happen

ah, and they met on the bridge again

35 minutes after my bedtime already, gonna take a while to fall asleep too, whelp

Ep 8 (July 9)

omg Sunjae got the time capsule egg before it got torn down and he even waited on Jan 1, 2023 fully expecting her to come - and she did, so why didn’t they meet?

and Sunjae got the watch from the time capsule

hmmm would he happen to travel back in time at all? bc she travelled back with his watch and maybe he can travel back with her watch?? esp if smth happens to her idk

lmfao pls not the hotel where they can be alone together

but also he’s an idol going with a random girl lmfao

i loveeeee Sol omg she’s so funny and endearing as she’s talking about how she didn’t mean they should have a passionate night and also mentions that they had crushes on each other in a throwaway line but she doesn’t wanna skip intros and get to the conclusion But she’s not judging sunjae for thinking that, they just have different values lmfao what a cutie but sunjae’s gonna act clueless like oh? what were you thinking as if he doesn’t know what this insinuates

i loveeee celeb/non-celeb romance esp when it actually shows the reporters and rumours and fans and such and how they can affect/limit the relationship

he has such a big house why not hide the cut out in some random storage room omg

pls and now Sunjae thinks she plans to stay the night and have sex lmfao

true Inhyuk would be like what the hell, Sunjae can’t fall for Im Sol again!!

Taesung?

Inhyuk talking about how Sunjae’s liked only Im Sol this whole time and kept going back to her old house whenever he was drunk while Sol can hearrrrr

ah, she confessed that she used to like him too

i kept being nervous that Taesung would somehow be in the house but Sunjae/Sol first kiss!

isn't it crazy fr, after 15 years you finally meet again and this time the girl you've loved forever confesses back and you kisssss and it's not a shitty one either

what the hell, the fuckass taxi driver is here too? that was indeed Taesung before right or did i mistake taxi driver for Taesung, I hope not

"Even if somebody sent me back to the past, I would never gamble with my future" whelp Hyunjoo, don't foreshadow too hard

the stalker makes me nervous both in terms of what if that person was the person who was knocking or whatever the night Sunjae died and also what if she finds out that Sunjae's dating Sol and does something to either of them?

okayyyy, so the taxi driver mans went and attacked Sunjae, was it the same thing in the previous iterations too?

I listened to the Afternoona Soju podcast episode and learned about 2 scenes: Sunjae and Taesung drink and do karaoke together and cuddle to sleep, and Sunjae's speech envelope + Sol's resignation letter get swapped so he ends up saying that out loud as a speech

Ep 9 (July 9)

so as hinted, a year after she came back to the current timeline, in the young timeline 2009, the taxi guy kidnapped Im Sol again and Sunjae saved her again and that's what caused that guy to get jailed until now

i loveee 2009 freshman Sol's hair, beautifully bangs and wavy hair

Hyunjoo's joyoush "hmm" and nod at 33:50 after Sol asks her if it was her idea is sooooo good omg i replayed several times

omg, the sudden "are you really from the future?" that had like no build-up, so I was surprised hehe

ahhh they kissed accidentally ofc they did, ig we'll see Sunjae and Sol married by the end?

Ep 10 (July 10)

ah, makes sense that Sunjae wouldn’t actually believe the time travel stuff oof

pls hiding under the table is so T.T

oh she’s telling Taesung about the time travel too

i like it when in a love triangle the guys try to impress the family like now with the flooding and in Ture Beauty with the dumplings but it’s annoying when they let it get the best of them and don’t care about what’s actually happening like why are you up arguing and making a mess instead of helping clean up wtf

i do like Sunjae Taesung antagonizing when it’s like verbal and witty not physical fights

oof Taesung telling Sunjae that he shouldn’t even be jealous of him bc Sol clearly likes Sunjae

Superstar K vs going to the states

ah, he digs up the time capsule and figures out that he dies (possibly because of trying to protect Sol) that time in the future

oh, the billboards changed and Eclipse is releasing their new album instead of Sunjae’s stabbing hmm i can’t tell bc im watching on my phone but is Sunjae in that photo?

Ep 11 (July 10)

ARE THEY GONNA GET BACK REFUNDS FOR THE PLANE AND THE REHABILITATION? and are they gonna get the luggage back?!

not this kissing gossip lmfao

yknpw technically this is a noona romance in this timeline 3x Sol x 20 Sunjae (krn age)

the “should we roll back another minute? if you give me another chance, i’ll do my best” thing is soooo cute like Sunjae fr was just going for the remote not the kiss like Sol thought

i’m crying from second hand embarrassment at the parents and brother finding them like this and am dreading the hundreds of condoms reveal T.T plssss and even Basic instincts got brought up again and Sunjae having to cover Im Sol’s ears i cannotttttt, how humiliating

the condoms flying out like this is really and truly killing me i can’t watch fuckkk if i was sunjae i would have to leave move away say good bye to Sol like life death and time could not make me stop loving you but this… in front your family? yeah i’d learn to live

lmfao the family meeting was very funny

he sings sonagi for her on a stage ahhh first of all he’d died but she gets to see him sing again + knows it’s about her this time

ah this fucking killer mans

Ep 12 (July 10)

ofc both Sol and Sunjae are gonna try to stop the murderer

lol will Sunjae get jealous of In Hyuk lmao

i can't watch this toilet water nothing pls at least use the water that's stored in the tank of the toilet not in the fucking bowlll

is the institution just that they made out? because i don't think they had sex?

lmfao maybe now the MIL and FIL will finally get along

omg, she's pretending to have gone back so that Sunjae doesn't stay with her at this place where the attacker's gonna come

oh also i'd figured out the 3 lives thing a while back btw i'd been like how does she know w/ certainty that she has 3 chances but the clock said 3, then 2, and now it's at 1

Ep 13 (July 11)

just go so frustrated that Youngsoo figured out that Sol was setting a trap bc that guy put his hand on her to check but Sol ended up shouting for Detective Kim eughhh such planning and yet

and Sunjae runs into him right then ofc

not Sunjae getting knifed! and falling off he cliff!!!

oh, Sol returned

girl where the hell is Sunjae like nice to see Sol’s life and Taesung but c’mon

i got spoiled about the letter switching and Sunjae giving actor award speech from Sol’s resignation letter so i don’t have like The Suspence for this

ohhh Sunjae’s watch also became a time machine

oh my godddd his time machine also takes Sol back in time for some reason and she literally cuts it off right at the beginning?!?! doesn’t give him the umbrella in the rain

curious about how they’ll explain the killer stuff in the past if Sunjae’s not there to save Sol?

Ep 14 (July 11)

so Sol and family just move away soon after like Sunjae still has his sling? yknow what let me not think too much

lolol articles coming out. i didn’t realize he was just gonna be mc-ing

ahhh Ryu Sun Jae is gonna be acting in Im Sol’s script?!

ouch the script hurts (though she’s plagiarizing so hard from alternate timeline Sunjae!!)

both of them busy trying to reject the script/actor but omg poor Sol. it sucks so bad to be the one who remembers, like when Sunjae used to remember while young Sol forgot and now thisssss after everything

another enemies to lovers arc

okay i was wondering how we’d go back to Sunjae knowing but ig he’ll get dreams and memories

oh, the murderer is gonna attack the sasaeng girl instead?

Sunjae is just Meant to be obsessed with Sol in every timeline ig

yaas the lottery tickets truly a must for a fucking time travel anything

ah the ferris wheel

Ep 15 (July 11)

the taxi driver can’t be obsessed w Sol in this timeline too right esp bc it’s been 15 years since his interest in the original tl

not Sol’s mom trying to set Sol up with sunjae now loll how the tables have turned

lmfao this time it’s Sunjae hiding from Sol when usually it was the other way around in the past timelines

oh, the killer is actually targeting Sunjae straight up this time maybe, not Sol first

Sunjae’s memory coming back in flashes

oh, he's got it all back

omg dramatic. killer guy almost got Sunjae again and then for a second I got nervous that Taesung was gonna crash like the other way so that killer T-bones his car

Ep 16 (July 11)

last ep!! 1h 19 mins instead of the usual 61-63 mins

killer dies just like that

ahh meeting again after remembering

"because he died, somebody else might get to live"

they kiss pretty nice

the parents do make me laugh, the dad being like hah i know Sunjae chose a good, beautiful girl to date while the mother's like hah i know she's no beauty

ah, marriage and wedding, cute

Overall:

A fun show with a fun concept and great acting + romance. It was funny and delightful most of the time, there was a kind of killer/suspense aspect but that wasn't really ever the Focus, Sunjae being killed was the focus; similarly, they didn't thoroughly explain the time travel because the mechanics wasn't the focus, Sol going back was the focus.

I liked Sunjae and Sol together and it was fun seeing how Sunjae was slightly different in the different timelines lol I liked seeing the couple on high school, college, as idol!Sunjae and actor!Sunjae. It did feel a bit like consistency was lost in their relationship but that was the point i guess. It was a very romantic concept, the way they were falling in love in every timeline.

Everything about it was good and I was engaged, I just don’t think I’d think about it much though. Kinda reminds me of When I Fly Towards You c-drama in that way; a cute youthful romance drama but I'm not hung up on it. At least it kept me company during my commute of the first week at my new internship.

Rating: 7/10

[antimony-medusa]

heyy im thinking of joining ao3 with my works, but they’re not fanfics, they’re original writings. do you think it would still get accepted/viewed by folks? bc from what i see on tumblr it sounds like ao3 is mostly engaged with fanfic, i could be wrong but thats what it sounds like lol

Ohhh, original works on Ao3 my beloved.

Okay so there are two general baskets of Original Works, and one is "everything original people are putting on Ao3", and one is the one that people do in exchanges, where people sign up to write relationships like "Teen Who Is Turning Into A Werewolf & Her Sister" or "Retired General/His Arranged Marriage Spouse Who Was Formerly The Enemy General".

In my experience people broadly speaking do not really find the stuff in the first basket on Ao3. I'm in the tag right now and a lot of these works have very low hits. The stuff in the Second basket, which is things tagged interestingly enough that they catch people's eye, with a fun high concept— maybe? Some of these works clearly have a following!

Okay so there are 286,322 works in the Original Works tag, with something like over a hundred works posted a day, and there are not hundreds of people hovering in the tag looking for whatever gets posted, because honestly, like half of it is people posting vent fic. The spectrum of quality varies WILDLY, like it does in any big tag, and there is a lot of stuff that is people just starting out. Also a lot of it is people writing niche porn. Original Work is a very horny tag. So you have to find a way to rise into people's vision.

And this HAS been done— I'm subscribed to two people on Ao3 specifically because I loved their original works, I have an original work that's sitting at 200 kudos, there's an 86k novel I read in chapter updates last year that updated on fridays where I was like "ohhh it's friday it's jewel day" for ages and it's sitting at almost 2k kudos. I have read a published novel that started as an OW on Ao3, though I can't find the title now. But again, this is the stuff that rises to the top of the 286k fics in the tag, this is not everything. So how do you rise to the top and get seen?

My first advice is luring people over from another source. So if you already have a following from other fic, some people might follow you to original works? And then if it's GOOD, they'll stick around. This is the equivalent of "this romance author I liked is trying thrillers— I might try it?" So not everybody is gonna follow you, but some might. And if you already have people following your blog where you talk about your writing on Tumblr, you can say "check it out on Ao3", and people will head on over!

And then my second advice is that if you tag and do the summary interestingly, people might click when they see you. But you have like 2 seconds to catch people's attention, so how do you maximize that?

A) if do your relationship in an interesting way that tells people something, that helps. "Original Male Character/Original Male Character" just tells me it's M/M. "Supervillain Working As A Barista/Flirty Superhero With A Caffeine Addiction" tells me a LOT more. If you can cram your whole story concept into 100 words there, you can do a lot to hook people.

B) same as you do for any fic on Ao3— your summary and tags written in an interesting way. This is the equivalent of having interesting cover copy in a bookstore— why would people want to pick up your story? Certainly not if you say "this is kinda bad but please read it", they'll put it right back. But if you say "Alice is a woman on the run from the mafia with a dark secret— she's slowly turning into a vampire. Can she find a community, learn how to feed herself without endangering her soul, and maybe even find a girlfriend or two before her past catches up with her?" Well then people know what your story is about and are much more interested.

C) you don't want to become that person with a wall of tags nobody reads, but if you do tag the right tags so that you show up in OTHER tags people might be searching: if I find your fic when I'm looking for "asexual character" or "alternate universe - high school" or "meet-cute" or "fluff and angst" or "open/bittersweet ending", or alternately, a lot of really specific porn tags, and you've made your summary and relationship and tags interesting, I might click through.

And then my third advice is to do exchanges. A LOT of exchanges do include an Original Works component, and if you can write short stories, you can lure people into reading your work because you're writing "Lonely God & Baby Abandoned On Their Altar" or Lighthouse Keeper/Siren Trying To Wreck Ships" or something, because people DO click around exchanges reading the original works because they're fun and there aren't 286 of them, there are 12 of them in an exchange. If you like writing for a challenge, you can get people to read your work if you write it for an event.

So I'm not an expert in either original works or getting my work seen, I am not good at search engine optimization, but that is some stuff I have seen other people doing. Good luck!

[homeofhousechickens]

Sometimes a chicken isnt a good fit for being a house chicken! It really depends on the bird. This is about a Polish named Karen who i rehomed quite quickly after acquiring her. Rehoming is sometimes a taboo subject in some places but really that decision is almost always made with the animals best interest at heart and that also goes for this bird below. So if your someone who may need to rehome breeding birds (or perhaps a pet when circumstances change) maybe this positive story can ease some anxiety and give you a good template for how it should go.

Karen came to me in 2019 to retire here as a house chicken since she had slowed down laying for her breeder and he no longer wanted Polish. She was a good hen to him and he wanted her to go somewhere where she would be pampered and taken care of so she went to me especially since at the time my silkie (also from the same breeder) wasnt integrating with my other birds. I wanted to get him a familiar friend so Karen was the best option. Despite being raised as a confined bird who was raised in a building Karen was very stressed living in the house. She would stay very still in one place or she would constantly make very upset noises that were very loud and sounded like a kookaburra. The other birds accepted her gladly but she was uncomfortable around them and did not adjust well to a house chicken lifestyle. I knew she wasnt enjoying what was supposed to be her peaceful retirement so i reached out to a friend who has a very well taken care of flock and arranged for him to take her in. This person had bought birds from me before and was very kind and gentle. They were known for taking in special needs birds and didnt mind older laying hens so when he saw her he was very happy about taking her in. I really like this family as they spoil their birds and have a lot of outdoor space for their free ranging flock At her new place Karen was very nervous at first since not only had she been moved twice but i also gave her a "haircut" so she could see better which could be quite different then her typical obscured vision. Eventually though she warmed up to her new place and now she is high in the pecking order and going on 8-9 years now which is an old age for a Polish. She likes to boss everyone around and loves to complain when the weather doesnt suit her which delights and amuses her owners. To this day Karen is a happy girl who is enjoying her perfect retirement and is a great example on how rehoming can be the best decision for a bird. Below you can see her upset protests that were much louder in person and very grating on the ears

When she got to her new home she followed their dog around for a bit and even came inside

She even got to learn the "joys" of being rained on (she did not enjoy it and as you can see she went indoors lol)

Eventually she established herself and is a very happy

And when i rehomed Nebby and Baby bird i knew who would be the perfect home for them and Karen welcomed them gladly <3 I am so thankful Karen welcomed them so kindly as chickens can be quite mean to new flock members.

[kasarian]

i am going to talk about oc pokemon au and you cant stop me :] (or, alternatively, if you're spark, it just me reiterating it with proper wording LOL)

Orbit is a knowledgable figure, unsure if I want him to be a professor or not, but he's also someone who's going to be important in the balance of quality of life in both humans and pokemon in his town, ensuring that the people do not disturb the natural habitat, and that the townsfolk be able to live a good life within the town. Ike was / is Orbit's partner in this endeavor, but went missing (presumed dead) for a year or two while he was out on a diplomatic trip out of the region; The two eventually reunite, not to worry.

Alon and Lupa are field researchers that work with/under Orbit. Alon in particular used to be a gym leader of the region in his younger years, but decided to retire a full year before he and Lupa got married, wanting to focus on his family and trying to get away from the public eye. He and his husband mostly help with nurturing hatchlings nowadays, but occasionally do the fieldwork for their job, as well as personal outings with personal agendas, of course.

Lupa has always been so passionate about pokemon and their behavior, seeking to understand them more. He wandered around various regions, becoming champion once and never again, despising the unwarranted fame his younger self did not want. He also met Alon during his travels, starting out at the wrong foot but quickly becoming fast friends, with Alon freely offering Lupa his kindness and hospitability. Despite all that, he still challenges gyms for the sake of it even now!

AND NOW FOR THE PROTAGS

The story follows Mela, Orbit's daughter, wanting to be as accomplished as her father, and setting out to her own journey. She's accompanied by Akku, who is Alon and Lupa's son, and his boyfriend, Hiraya, who was often under Orbit's watch due to his parents often being called for their duties as Elites.

As the trio's journey goes on, they all end up in a rather far away snowfields; and Mela eventually meets a man who looks rather familiar... but can't quite place her finger as to who exactly it is. She wants to find out though, stubborn as she always is to get things right. It's weird though, because it seems like Hiraya's seen a ghost, but he just won't say.

In the end of this arc, Mela meets the lake spirits, and they help her remember who that man was to her. Is to her. Ike, her dad, who's been missing and apparently, just as confused as her, because neither of them remember each other etc etc.

AUUGHUAHU

IT ALL VERY . MESSY and unclear and i might renew a lot of this bc i havent thought about all it yet. the basic summary was this:

Story following though 3 childhood friends journeys, Mela being the main protag ??? wanting to be like her dad ??? Accidentally finding her other, long missing father in the process??? ENSUE TEAM ROCKET LIKE EVENTS AND SHIT GOES DOOOOOWN

Akku and Hiraya just there for silly goofy shenanigans and support. (Akku wanting to explore like his parents did, and Hiraya not having much to do anyway, being the current youngest and not having much direction in his life???? idkkk HAHA but he and akku share the same passion w/ loving pokemon, akku just wants to see if he can run though badges in the process)

anyway yah feel free to plonk your opinions on this, i obviously have a lot to research, like the lake spirits, and which pokemon can temporarily take away your bad memories and help return it when you have to face it (first thought was gothitelle??) or if i can make up a process wherein a venusaur knowing amnesia -> imbued that power in its spores/pollen to help ease sadness that its trainer is experiencing and how thats kind but also kind of. oof move on the venusaur. etc etc. idk HAHAHHA

[autumnfangirler]

IM FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO THAT CAINE POST WITH HIS RELATIONSHIPS TO THE RANGERS LETS GO

long post so as per usual im throwing this under the cut

Caine & Ortega:

Ortega is caines best friend of years, even after the farm. In fact, caines had a crush on him since their sidestep days, but only realized it in retri lol. He finds his static soothing, its a reprieve from the constant chatter around them, even if it comes with the cost of not being able to read his mind. The problem is that caine is really good at following orders, and during his sidestep days, when they first got all their freedom, he kind of subconciously latched on to ortega as the nearest authority figure because they likened his static to the numbers used at the farm. Even post second escape, they still regard him as an authority(though hes starting to chafe against ortegas influence a little bit more). Part of the reason caine is a no-kill saving step is because, even if they dont realize it, theyre doing what ortega told them to do. if ortega had asked him to kill somebody, hed do it 100%. and if that somebody just so happened to be a near-mythical kingpin ruling over los diablos, well... let's just say theres more than one reason caine agreed to HGs deal unthreaded

Caine & Chen:

Oh, caine has a thing for the marshal and they are throwing a fit about it. This was NOT supposed to happen. Chen was supposed to be the vaguely-tolerable side effect to getting spoon. But then he found out that chens well-shielded mind is actually really nice for the same reasons ortegas mind is, and that he could relate to the feeling of being forced into a role he doesnt want to play. Back in the day, caine was always frustrated that chen didnt trust what he brought to the team, but now that theyre "retired", it doesnt matter and they can relax together as individuals. It was a surprisingly nice development. The two are more similar than they think– nowadays, the main conflict between the two is caine being lycan, because chen is absolutely aware of that fact and caine is just about clear-headed enough to note that thats probably a bad thing. Caine and chen are both very (for lack of better term) career focused, and even if caine doesnt like being villainous, theyre willing to do whatevers needed for the job(over 80% drive babyyy). So yeah, those two are going to butt heads when That conversation finally comes up

Caine & Herald:

Caine is WORKING that 66% strength of mind whenever herald is around. They find him intense, overly curious, and far too forgetful of boundaries, all of which they Do Not appreciate. But he still cant help liking the kid. Hes legitimately proud of how far heralds come along, and hes interested in his potential as a threat since hes shown how perceptive he can be. Currently, theyre trying to round out heralds skills as part of the team, as well as pushing him to analyze and use what he notices against an opponent. Plus, training herald has been more of a lifeline than theyd like to admit(i wrote something about it, but idk if ill post it rip). Its a schedule, hes a good coach, and he just likes fighting for fun lmfao. The whole thing would be great if herald could get some shields for the love of god

Caine & Argent:

Fun fact, caine used to have a small crush on argent between rebirth and retribution. It was a mix of admiration for her skills, the constant attention and the fact that argent is just pretty lol. It faded quick (quickly enough that he panicked in the bridge fight when he realized she was flirting with him lmfao), but they continued to hold a healthy amount of respect for her afterwards, even if they didnt approve of her teamwork. And then the casino happened! Caine had gone through the whole casino infiltration entirely untouched, but when they noticed the fight between argent and shroud, they couldnt help but give into curiosity and see what was happening. That was. a bad decision. He watched shroud attempt and fail to devour argent, and they ended up getting a panic attack and fleeing. He is now scared as shit of her :D! He avoids her like the plague, and whenever hes given an opportunity to escape a room with her in it, hes taking it. They dont know what she is, and they have a bad feeling about finding out

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Crazy to log back in after all this time especially after the way I left things. So much has changed and I'm nearly 2 years sober in November. My year long addiction such a central part of me now. Even with me never bothering to take it anymore, being in that state of mind for so long changed me in so many ways. In just a year at that

I've color coded the sections. It was too much of a wall of text. Orange is for work, pink for my boo, green for my life perspective now that im sober and older, the other colors... you'll see it when you get there. Just a summary of everything I've ever wanted to talk about in all this time.

I've quit that job I was talking bout last post. Worked there til mid April and I rage quit. Put my two weeks in then just ain't show for the last what.. 4 days? Fuck that job fr. Assholes worked me to death. How tf I was parttime and working 12 hour shifts back to back at that?

Anyway. I still work in the same field. I'm just at these retirement homes now. I work two at the moment, though one just offered me a new position up there so hopefully I can leave the one closest to me. Buttholes think I'm a robot up there.

The biggest change is thatt, I have a partner now. He's been here with me since late July. We've gotten an apartment now, too as of like 2 months ago now. I've never trusted anyone more.

How it all went down? I was friendly with his sister as she was the one that trained me. I used to talk to her alot which end up leading to me meeting her brother since he also worked up there and was constantly around his little sister. We ended up talking more than me and the sister did. He used to come out to the cafeteria i was running and talk to me for however long time allowed. Whether for an hour or for a few mins, he'd say hi to me.

After a lil while, led to her inviting me to her house. At my old job, in our 12 shift, we were really there for 14 hrs. They gave us an hour and a half break between the 1st and 2nd shift. With her only living 5 mins from the job it wasn't a hard ask lol. Sitting around at that job was not fun. I was by this point not feeling nothing towards my partner but friendship. Which was crazy cause a few days later, I went out there seeing if my dad was outside, only to see him outside waiting to pick up his sister. I was talking to him out in the rain for a lil, then i ofc got in the car to continue talking after a while. Sat there running my mouth for long enough that his sister came out. She had this devilishly big smile on her face when she said "oh I did invite you over"

That one trip led to coming over hanging out with her brother specifically, spending a night watching movies in her room, getting friendly with their mom. I started to feel so welcome. Then, I got a lil tipsy annd bumped my head and he pulled me towards him trying to see if I was okay annnd the rest was history. I ended up moving in, with their mother's push and my family pushing me away with how eager they were for me to gtfo. Barely talk to me now that im gone. Unless i reach out ofc. It's been ups, downs, but he somehow was there through all that.

I even got kicked out the house for "hitting" their mother. In reality, by that point, I was paying $250 a month for the room I shared with him, I paid for household supplies, I cleaned. Everything. So after a while, it was a bit tiring getting screamed at for any and every mistake I made. I had threw away pieces of this series x box and she told me take it out her trash and throw it in the outside. I grabbed as much as I could at the time as I had other pieces already in my hand but it wasn't good enough. She said to come get the rest and I was confused. I just said my hands are full and I went to throw the rest away. But me saying my hands were full was a problem. I don't know if I said it in a tone, I was tryna be as calm as I could, but it wasn't good enough.

She started yelling and talking shit, calling me names. All types of stuff. Me and him was just taking it. Not saying a single thing back, like she liked. But he threw his phone at the wall in frustration and I thought it was time to fix it. It wasn't that serious in my eyes. So I came up to her asking why she thought I had an attitude so we can fix it. I didn't have an attitude and even if I did, I still did what she asked with no hesitation. With two trips, I threw the whole box away and ripped it up just like she wanted to make sure it wouldn't take up too much room. But all that was null and void because of how she perceived my voice.

So in my failed attempts to get her to talk to me, she just getting angrier and angrier which made me frustrated. I just stood there asking again and again what did I do to make you think I had an attitude, her getting mad and saying she ain't have to explain herself to me, which I was trying to explain I wasn't trying to make her explain why she was mad I just wanted to know how I wronged you so I CAN FIX IT. And me standing there and her getting angry eventually led her to pointing a finger right in my face which I swatted away. It was reflex really. Was mere inches away from my eye and I never once touched her so why get physical?? I don't know what possessed her to even do that.

And me swatting her hand, was the worst decision ever. The mother started trying to swing at me, the sisters boyfriend that also lived there at that point was trying to hit me and my boyfriend jumped in and pulled me back. I couldn't focus on nothing anymore and the next thing I knew the sisters boyfriend came up to me and pushed me onto the bed. I was so scared I didn't know what he was going to do next and I started freaking out. I couldn't breath I couldn't think. I just felt so scared and helpless. I had to hear the rest after the fact

My boyfriend and his sister's boyfriend both got into a fight, the sister and the mother tried to break up. The mom got pushed down to the floor in the process (which was as I said, happened during the process of a whole fist fight between these grown men. You'll see why I clarify this), my boyfriend picked him up, and somehow someway, the sisters boyfriend went to go grab his gun. A gun that he apparently had at the house. It was an assault riffle

When he did that the whole atmosphere changed. No one was focused on the fight they were focused on him putting the gun up. Then they came to me and that's where my pov comes back. I was there on the bed curled up crying ripping out my hair, and my boyfriend standing over me just angry at everything. He just stood over me crying frustrated trying to get me breathe. Then the sister just stood over me, like I was an alien. I regretted even saying anything. I wondered if I should've just grabbed it all and just let it fall out my hands so she knew I wasn't being funny acting. I started to wonder if I was right to swat her hand or should I have let her touch me first before I did that. All these thoughts made me feel so powerless as none of those decisions should have led to this brawl.

The sisters boyfriend tried to play man of the house and talk shit and the sister just smiled. My boyfriend still hasn't forgiven her for it. He never looks at her the same anymore. It feels like I broke up the family. To. This. Day. The mom kicked me out and my boyfriend said fuck everyone and left with me. He helped me pack everything because the mom was telling me "my fatass needs to hurry up" and "sitting there like shit sweet" and smart comment after smart comment while I'm over there just bawling my eyes out. We went to his dad's house who asked for an explanation but once we explained, he respected that it was a huge blowup, and the dude pulling out a gun was bigger than all this.

Little did we know, the little bit of relief we felt being at his dad's house for the night would be short lived. The mom, sister, and her boyfriend were all going around calling up family to tell their twisted version of events. They said I hit mama and my partner pushed her to the ground. I felt like a mouse. The whole family hated me atp. But we spent a night at the dad's house, explained everything to everyone calling him and just kept on going. The sisters ended up believing us in saying they were kinda shocked to hear I'd hit their mom knowing how I am so they were more mad that they twisted the story and didn't even include the fact this man just pulled out a gun on their brother. We told everything as it happened so it helped our story alot

Anyway, we lived there for a few months, feeling trapped and stupid. His dad's house was filthy and we were working hard to pay rent at his dad's, find and apartment, and save for a deposit fee. We barely could eat because the kitchen was so nasty half the time you didn't know what you were touching. The silverware were half dirty, the fridge handle always had food remnants caked on it, food would be left out overnight and more, dishes there for days. Everything. This is all because his dad is half blind and his fiance works so she expects him to do all the cleaning. His cleaning skills are not the best but I can't fully blame him given his disability.

We were eating off fast food everyday for months because of this. We'd barely eat just because we hid rhe fact we were eating out where we could, so he wouldn't feel offense on why we wouldn't eat his and her food, and we kept it pushing.

We moved out in April annd things have gotten better in a sense. We argue way more but I think that's natural for how much more we get to be around each other. I don't work as long hours and we're in each other's face 24/7. But I get so angry. I don't know why. It's like I hold back so much, just angry talking at first, then he says something that makes me snap. Then, I'm screaming, throwing things, and I try to get away. It feels all instinct, like someone else is taking over. And all I can do is wait til I calm down and apologize for being scary. I don't hurt him. I never will. I've thrown my phone, broken countless bracelets off me, and I've scratched myself over and over trying to make myself focus on something else, but I've never thrown more than a pen directly at him. I feel so guilty everytime I do it. But I be feeling unheard in the moment and I just want it over with. To be left alone again.

But he holds onto me anyway. He sees me for more than just my blowups. He hates it and has asserted he won't take it forever, but he understands Im not used to love upclose. I'm the ex princess pill enjoyer. I went an entire year with an addiction only my sisters noticed. I've lost my two closest friends along with the whole robotics friend group I thought I'd have in an instant. I usually am one disagreement from losing someone, so I hold it in. But now, I have someone to learn to let it out for. Someone to learn to not blowup for. It's just hard.

I'm really trying though. I tried jumping out the car cause I was so mad and he just stopped the car and held me. Even though he was just as mad at me. We were arguing just a second before. Ever since then, that rage scares me. I'm not in control the way i thought I was. I would never jump out a moving fucking vehicle in my life. You can break your arm, scrape the skin right off you, knock yourself out. Anything. But I just felt this trance of I couldn't keep being in this car arguing and I started saying I couldn't do it and just opened the door. I don't know what I was thinking. I really wasn't thinking. But knowing that's a possibility, I just know I have to fix myself.

I've been doing better. I nowadays will just throw my phone and get mad and he'll just leave it instead of continuing like normal. Then once I calm down, we talk about why I got so mad, he explains why he was mad at me in the first place, and we're good. I hope someday I can skip on the rage part entirely but I've been doing better now that I have a moment to collect myself. Plus, I know no matter what argument, til the day he betrays my trust, I will always want him in my life and these petty arguments change nothing. He's shown me time and time again he loves me through everything so I will make sure I love him unconditionally too.

And that's where everything is now. I'm at work typing this now. I'm resisting the urge to impulsively quit. My boss just called me yesterday frustrated I don't pick up morning shifts last second trying to make it like I just don't want to work. I just don't think that's a humane ask. On your day off, would you want to be called awake at 6am to get up and IMMEDIATELY go to work? No. She'd give me a one day notice on morning shifts too and I'd say no, because I didn't want to cut the day short to go to bed for work. And that's a problem here.

I have a second job that's been great but the distance and pay wasn't the best. But they appreciate me, they've tried to fight for better pay, and the were sad I tried this job. Annnd crazily, I came back, did orders for a few days, and they offered me a part time receptionist while doing orders too. Giving me damn near full time hours. Like FINALLYYYY I'm not waiting on random shifts to make my money. I can just come in and do the same work everyday.

It's not confirmed til Monday but, soon as it's confirmed. I'm outttt

Life doesn't get better, it just changes. If anything it gets worse. Seriously. I've wanted to die all the time lately. It's just a new hurt. You can't ever escape it. In a way, it's harder and easier. On the one hand, you have a different type of worth now. Once you move out, youre not just parents burden, you become your own burden. So that constant guilt I used to feel is gone. I don't ask for help no matter what. I even hate gifts from them now. I feel like they use that as their way to have something to say about what I'm doing. But you burdening yourself also stings cause you have to drag yourself to shit you don't want ALLLLLLL THE TIMEEE. Don't want to go to work? Call in sick? Don't have any sick hours? Call in with an emergency. Gotta do what uou gotta do. I'm not proud of it. But even then... you have to be socially aware of everyone's opinion of your actions. Or, you choosing yourself too many times will make you lose a job, get played at your job, or fuck you over come time to pay everything. It's such a big sacrifice to choose yourself now.

That's just true in general when you get out the house. That's what makes it so difficult.. I barely was choosing myself before. But now? There's no one else but you. If you don't go out to make yourself some money, you'll make yourself miserable worrying about food, bills, and keeping a roof over your head. But some days you argue right before work. Some days you want to end it and you don't want to to think about nothing else. But I have to think, if I fail this time, what's gonna happen? If you try it, and you fail, what are you going to do? Are you gonna be able to afford copays on your hospital stay? Are you gonna be able to get back to work if need be? Are you gonna be able to be in others faces right after that happened to you? Is there even going to be a job waiting on you by the time you recover?

I'm more scared of the day I'll attempt now. If I attempt now, I'll fuck over my partner. I wonder how he'd take it. I'd probably break him. Even though I regularly tell him I want to die to this day, he'll never feel the full weight til he sees how serious it gets for me. I don't want to take away his character showing him that. I'll break up and do it before I sneak off and do something like that now. I know that would hurt him still. But even before him, it's just harder on me making that decision.

I'm still open to it though. Thus far, this life shit still sucks. The work life balance is just gone in America. Unless you're making top dollar, buying a house, regularly vacationing, and having money to properly invest in your hobbies, you're just sitting around on you butt/doing chores/getting business handled. You've always had to work for your money but nowadays uou need to hoard this nonexistent extra money just to do anything. It's so dull. I already didn't want to do this and now I'm bored to death half the time. Great!!!1!11!!! (I've developed a tiktok addiction now. It's an instict for me to get on as soon as I'm not doing anything. I can't stand to be bored for one second 😶‍🌫️)

Anywaysss. That's it. I'm alive, I'm the same, but with a boyfriend now. I have the same brain from way back when I was daily posting on here. There's just more stuff chaining me down to this world. If you read all this thank you. I hope you feel seen. I know it's not easy out here

...and to the people that didn't read. Yea. I get it 😅

[erigold13261]

Hi! Do you have HCs for older Yinu? I loved your take on her, as well as her future designs! Questions like: “Will she stay in NSR as an adult?” Or “What does she like doing other than playing the piano?” Thanks and Love Love Sayu Pyunnn to you!

I'm really glad you like my design! I need to make more life designs lol

As for headcanons, I would say that Yinu will probably stay with NSR until late teens to early adulthood, she is definitely not going to spend her whole life working under the same company.

I think the reason she would leave would probably because of Mama, whether it be because she has declining health or... dies. Either way, that would be a kick to Yinu to stop working and actually live, because I can see Yinu spending her whole childhood and teen years playing piano professionally so much that she just doesn't have a real life. No matter how hard Mama tries to make it so that Yinu can have a normal life, it will never be normal as long as she is a megastar.

Once she retires, or at least takes a few years away from NSR, I would think she starts exploring outside of piano. She probably has no real idea who she is or what she likes. She definitely likes plants, so she would travel a bit. A lot actually. She would go and visit all kinds of places, probably with Mama or by herself. Possibly she could go with a friend or partner if she has one later on.

During this time she would still be practicing piano, but not nearly as much as she was when she was a child. Maybe she picks up some other instruments. I can see her playing harp, which Mama would teach her, or violin, which Neon J could teach. She would definitely still be in touch with the other megastars too.

Yinu would find a love of adventure, a passion for cooking, and an eye for fashion. And honestly, I can see her also learning to fight, like karate or judo, kickboxing, something like that.

As she gets older she would start to slow down, maybe date maybe get married. Possibly stay single for a long while. I see Yinu as a lot more independent as she gets older, having had her mother basically around her and protecting her all the time would make Yinu a bit more cautious of getting in a relationship and fearing she would lose some of her independence. But she would still want to one day get married and be as happy as her parents were, but also scared of loving someone so much she might lose them like Mama lost Papa. It would be a big hurdle for her honestly.

Once she is no longer traveling, putting up small performances here and there, I could see her returning to professional piano playing. Probably in her mid 30s. She would have to learn what type of music is popular and how to make it, but I am sure she would be a hit whenever she comes back. If NSR is still around at that time she would be willing to join again, though there would definitely be a whole different set of megastars that she would have to get to know. The only one I can see still being there is Sayu, and even then that is a very low probability. Yinu would also be more willing to go fully solo in her career or join other music industries. Probably more willing to do that than to rejoin NSR if she can't get over the nostalgia.

No matter what, Yinu is going to have a long and fulfilling life. There will be hardships, and trying to figure out who she is later in life. But she will have fun overall and in the end she will retire to where Mama and Papa grew up and live the rest of her life there. Sometimes an ex-megastar will visit her, or she will visit them, or a fan will find her, but she enjoys her life and is happy in the end.

[ominous-feychild]

Hilariously, I basically have the same "problem"... tho it's not exactly a problem?

I moved a lot growing up, but mostly did so within two different Southern U.S. states. Despite that, I'd always been told "I didn't have an accent" by even people visiting from up North. (I theorize this is because my mother, the main parent in my life, grew up in a Northern state, so I probably had a mixed accent from hers and those I heard around me?)

But a few years ago, I'd moved up North (U.S.) and stayed there for a while. Even THERE, I was told I didn't have an accent.

Except for this one Uber driver, who said he was a retired cop who enjoyed figuring out the various accents of his riders. He struggled to (and couldn't) figure out my accent, but thought it was Californian. Idek how he got that, I've never lived anywhere near California lol

Well, I lived in Chicago for 2 years. While there, I called my mother, and yknow what she told me?

"Oh, I see you have a Chicago accent now."

And I was like: (oh, right, autistic people often adapt to regional accents they hear REALLY quickly. That's probably why nobody noticed. I'd copy the accents of those around me.)

So, anyway, that led to a REALLY weird experience I had a couple days ago, lol.

I started chatting with this one guy while waiting for a bus, and yknow what he asked me?

"You're not from {this state}, are you?"

And, idk, I don't have any pride for being from the South, much less the actual states I'm from, but I got kinda offended? Like, tf? I'm unfamiliar with the area, but I AM from this state, haha. So why tf was he asking?

(Though I was much more polite in asking "I am? Why do you ask???" lol 😅😭)

Bro said (as though he didn't believe me???) "well, you don't have the Southern Drawl".

And I am STILL baffled about that conversation.

rb this and tell me what ur accent is. this has no purpose except the fact i just realized i could have like... mutuals with cockney accents or newfoundland accents or something and thats just wild

[tonberry-yoda]

Hello hello hello my darling dear! I was wondering if you could perhaps make do with my request?

It’s a Alastor (HH) x fem reader. The reader and Al were in a romantic relationship when they were alive back in the 1930’s (you can choose if she knew if he was a psycho or not). He was in his early thirties and the reader was around twenty, she was youthful and beautiful. Alastor died first in 1933 and arrived in Hell. Many years later the reader and Alastor met up again in the hotel. They talk and tell how much they missed each other, over their conversation Alastor tells the reader he wants to continue their relationship from where they left off. He asks if she still feels the same way for him (even though he’s a crazy radio demon now). The thing is for the reader while Alastor died when he was relatively young, the reader actually lived to see her 60th birthday. Her new form is much older then Alastor’s and it’s very obvious that she is self-conscious about her old age.

She tells Alastor yes, but look at her. She’s not the same young and beautiful dame she used to be and he looks just as young like how he was when he was alive. Surly he wouldn’t want to be some old lady, old enough to be in early retirement. How would Al react to his darling’s new inaccuracy? Thank you so much for your time and have a blessed day!

hello my dear! i absolutely adore this idea! writing for this radio demon is a lot of fun and takes a lot of creativity and this idea was amazing and so well put together, might I add! i hope you have an amazing day as well, my dear and hope you enjoy your request!

Never Even Apart - Alastor

Pairing - Alastor x f!reader

Warnings - none! (and i do understand that Alastor is aro and ace and i fully respect that, i just love writing for him! all of my love and respect to the aro and ace community!!!)

Word Count - 809

Notes - thank you so so so so much anon! ALSO THE HAZBIN NEWS AHHHH! it's apparently coming out in the summer of 2023 and i am currently losing my mind. (that's also why i wrote this today lol). i hope you enjoy anon! have a lovely day!! <3

It was a beautiful day, even considering that Alastor was in the pits of Hell. There were demonic birds chirping and the burning sun was greeting the hotel with a smile.

Alastor smiled as he did the dishes, humming himself a familiar tune. He knew something was missing from this new life, but he had learned to deal with it. Cope. That's all he had to do.

“Um, Alastor?” Charlie stuck her head in the room with a nervous smile. “There’s someone new I'd like to introduce you to.”

“Oh, just bring them in, doll. I'm a little busy right now.” He tightened his apron and began to hum louder.

“O-Okay,” Charlie stepped out of the kitchen. “I'll be right back.”

It was amusing. This whole hotel thing. It made Alastor entertained and that’s all that was important. Who knows, maybe this new member would entertain him too.

“Here she is, Alastor!” Charlie’s voice sounded nervous, but that was usual of her.

Alastor quickly dried his hands and turned around, his signature smile dropping immediately. It was… you.

He didn't notice that he had dropped a plate beneath him, quickly shattering on the kitchen floor.

“O-Oops!” Charlie giggled nervously and went to grab a dust pan.

“Charlie,” Alastor’s voice sounded different… less radio static involved. “I've got it. Do you mind leaving our new friend and I alone for a little bit?” His eyes didn't move from you once.

“S-Sure.” Charlie quickly left the room and you threw yourself onto him. How could you not recognize that handsome face? That voice? Those eyes?

Alastor quickly picked you up off of the ground and twirled you in a circle before setting you back down, locking his eyes to yours. “Doll… Is that really you?”

You nodded and grabbed Alastor’s clawed hands. “It is really me, Al.”

Your voice was just as soothing as he remembered.

“This can't be real…” He could feel his soulless eyes filling with tears. “Can it?”

You giggled and hugged him again. “I finally died, Al!”

He laughed at your dark joke and held you close. “How did it happen, love? Not dogs, I hope.”

You shook your head and breathed him in. He smelt just the same. Like musk and sweet cologne. “The mafia.”

Alastor laughed out loud and looked at you with a skeptical eyebrow. “The mafia?”

“Turns out they have a big problem with actors who sign their lives away to the illuminati. It's quite funny though, I was nearly retired.” You laughed softly at your own joke and sighed at your nearly wrinkled hands knowing for a fact that you had far too many smile lines and wrinkles on your forehead. Alastor looked so young and you looked so… old.

“Well at least you made it past thirty.” Alastor chuckled and hung up his apron that he untied from his body. “Now let's catch up, dear. Pull up a chair will you?”

---

You know that you sounded like a schoolgirl in love when you sighed at Alastor. It had been years. Too long.

“I'm just glad to hear that you had a good life, my love.” Alastor smiled and slid his hand over to yours.

“I'm glad you’re making the most out of it down here.” Your smile was sincere, but you felt so old next to him. He used to be the one older than you.

“I think we should pick up where we left off, don't you think?” Alastor kept his eyes locked onto yours as he pressed a soft kiss onto your knuckles.

“Oh, I don't know,” you giggled and pulled away, your face turning bright red. “I mean look at me.”

“The image of beauty as always?”

“No,” you gave him a playful smack and looked at yourself in the reflection of some nearby silverware. “I'm not the same beautiful and young dame I once was, Al. You still look young. Surely you wouldn't want to date some old woman now!” The thought made you laugh, but you were quickly interrupted by Alastor.

“What are you talking about? I mean look,” Alastor took a sip of his coffee and gave you a loving look. “You may have died at an older age, but if I'm being honest, I wouldn't have guessed you were that old when you got here. You look great for your age, love.” He gave you a smirk and placed another kiss onto your knuckles.

“Oh, Al.” Your face turned red and you giggled as he laid kisses up your arm.

“You haven't answered my question, dearest?” His eyes were sultry and full of love. How could you say no?

“Well of course, my dear. I would love to pick up where we left off.” You leaned over the table and pressed your lips to his. It was like you two were never even apart.

[dwellordream]

Initial Impressions of HotD Episode 10

be warned there are spoilers below.

i have read fire & blood, but i am not judging the show as to its accuracy towards the book, as i had major issues with fire & blood, particularly in regard to how grrm wrote the female characters and handled the Dance.

this is not an evaluation of it as an adaptation but on its own merits.

Luke wanting to give up claim of Driftmark and saying it should have gone to Vaemond is weird. I understand they’re trying to make him conflicted and insecure but he’s been raised for this his entire life, but him actually siding with Vaemond and arguing that Vaemond had a claim feels ridiculous. I know Luke is aware he is a bastard, but he should still have some sort of family loyalty, given who raised him.

Jace raging at Luke after beating him during sparring is I think supposed show that he is well aware of the current state of things and worries Luke is not strong enough to support him.

Not sure I like Rhaenyra describing it as ‘Daemon’s war’ and feeling helpless while the men race around plotting. I get that she’s in labor and panicking but I don’t want all the women to just be victims of male ambition in the finale.

Again, I don’t love the framing of Rhaenyra in agony during labor while Daemon makes all the preparations, despite her orders to wait until she’s had the child.

Serious trigger warnings for childbirth and gore for Visenya’s birth. I’m glad the show didn’t gloss over her heartbreak, and it was nice to see her handmaidens pleading with her to let them help.

The map table scene of the glowing lava illuminating the kingdoms was really cool.

Rhaenyra acting puzzled at the thought of actually using the dragons in war is very strange lol. What was the point of that? Surely she’s aware of their history. 

I can see that they wanted to echo the earlier scene of Otto confronting Daemon with Rhaenyra, now with Otto confronting Rhaenyra at the same exact spot some 20 years later. 

Rhaenyra being conflicted upon being given the old book page from Alicent is sweet, I guess, and I know they’re still trying to show that like Alicent, she is hesitant to harm her old friend, but it seems a bit silly that this, of all things, is what causes her to start to consider conceding to Aegon.

Again, Rhaenyra’s speech about the greater good and not wanting to burn down what she wants to rule is nice, but her characterization is so inconsistent. Also, MAJOR trigger warning for domestic violence. I’ll be the first to admit I am no fan of Daemon, though I think he can be a fantastic villain, but the scene of him choking Rhaenyra made me extremely uncomfortable.

Not thrilled with Corlys essentially wanting to retire to Driftmark and declare for no one. It just seems ridiculously naïve, even if he’s crushed by grief and lost hopes.

Daemon singing to the dragons was strange and sort of endearing I suppose but I’m very confused as to what the point of that scene was supposed to be. 

The framing of Vhagar lurking outside Storm’s End and the villainous lighting around Aemond inside is great. 

It would have been nice if any of the Four Storms got a line... or Rhaena and Baela earlier. 

The sapphire eye reveal was sick.

Luke urging Arrax to fly calmly and listen to him is very sad and very cute.

The chase itself is awesome. Aemond cackling like a madman and shouting “I see you!” was very video game boss fight-esque. Ewan Mitchell was clearly having the time of his life, and Luke’s actor did a great job as well. 

What I hate is framing it as Vhagar disobeying Aemond and killing Luke against his orders after Arrax spurts flames at him. Let Aemond go full war criminal. We didn’t need to half-ass it. Have Aemond get carried away in the chase, and then regret it afterwards.

Overall, I enjoyed the episode more than 8 & 9, but it still felt very inconsistent. The last 15 minutes could have been great had they not made it out like an accidental kill.

[btsqualityy]

Magnolias In Springtime: Part Two

Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Arranged marriage!AU, ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, fluff, and smut

Warnings: Mentions of infertility, mentions of miscarriages, unprotected sex, dirty talk, impregnation sex, impregnation kink, oral (both Namjoon and reader receiving), penetrative sex, squirting, knotting and creampie.

Author’s Note: You guys know that I always post something on my birthday so here it is! This is the second and final part to Magnolias in Springtime! If you haven’t read part 1, you can find it here! Truthfully, this second part was just an excuse for me to write Namjoon impregnation smut lol But I hope you guys enjoy it!

It’s crazy how much things could change and yet stay the same in the span of a year. 

You still loved your home pack, going back to see the Alphas, Betas, and Omegas that helped shaped you into the person you were today at least once a month. You were still spoiled by your parents, who made it their personal mission to shower you with gifts whenever they had the opportunity to see their only child. Most of all, you still used the skills that you had learned in your childhood pack as you prepared to become leader of your new pack with your husband. 

Speaking of your husband, Namjoon was the best and most enjoyable change in your life as you had spent the past year falling in love with him. 

Admittedly, adjusting to being in a marriage and to a man that you did not know or choose beforehand was hard, but you quickly found out that Namjoon was one of the most amazing people that you had ever met in your life. He was strong, dependable, and trustworthy just like a typical Alpha but you were delighted to find that he was also big on communication and making sure that you felt comfortable enough to talk to him, he was caring, and even sensitive in certain situations. He had quickly become your best friend and you found yourself falling for him not long after the wedding was over.

“Y/N?” Eun Kyung called out and you shook your head as you broke out of your thoughts. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized sheepishly as you turned to look at your mother in law. “Can you repeat what you said? I wasn’t listening.”

“I see that,” she smiled knowingly. “A lot on your mind?”

“Kind of,” you shrugged as you fiddled with the handle of the tea cup that was in front of you. 

“Well, that’s understandable sweetie,” she assured you. “We’ve all been so busy getting ready for the Coronation, it’s no wonder that your thoughts are all over the place.” 

In the year since you and Namjoon had gotten married, Namjoon’s father Ho-jin had begun to slowly pass over the responsibilities of being Pack Alpha over to Namjoon. Two months ago, he had announced his official retirement and Namjoon would be having a Coronation to celebrate a new era of power. Of course, you would be celebrated as well given the fact that you would be replacing Eun Kyung as Pack Omega. 

“Anything you want to discuss?” Eun Kyung wondered. 

“You don’t mind?”

“Y/N-ah, that’s what we started these weekly tea dates for, remember?” She pointed out with a giggle and you smiled as you thought back on how your mother in law had insisted that you two meet every Tuesday aftermoon in order to talk and spend time together. At first, you were weary of it but it’s quickly become one of the highlights of your week, every week.

“I guess I’m just nervous about becoming Pack Omega,” you confessed. “I mean, I’m not from this pack and even though it seems like everyone likes me well enough, that might change once Namjoon’s officially Pack Alpha.”

“You remember how I told you about how my marriage to Ho-jin was arranged and how I replaced his mother when the time came?” Eun Kyung asked and you nodded your head. “I had the exact same fears as you do now and my mother in law, may she rest with the ancestors, gave me an amazing piece of advice that I have used continuously over the past 30 years. Wanna know what it is?”

“Yeah.”

“Your only duty as Pack Omega is to support your Alpha,” Eun Kyung began. “Whether that means reassuring him that he’s making a right decision, comforting him when he’s stressed and upset or even cussing him out when he’s dead wrong. The job of a Pack Leader is a stressful one and they must know that even if it feels like the world is on their shoulders, they will always have one person in their corner and that’s us.”

“That’s it?” You giggled and Eun Kyung nodded with a smile, pausing to take a sip of her tea before continuing.

“It seems intuitive right, because we’re Omegas ourselves but being the spouse of a Pack Leader means that we always have to shoulder a little bit more, whether it be more pain, more sadness, more hope,” she explained. “But I guarantee you, making sure that Namjoon is taken care will be the greatest thing that you can do for the pack.”

“I believe you,” you said. “I just know that Namjoon isn’t gonna make it easy for me. You know how he is about work and making sure the pack’s taken care of.”

“Don’t worry, Ho-jin already said that he plans to talk to him about finding a healthy balance,” Eun Kyung told you. 

“Good,” you smiled as you brought your tea cup to your mouth, taking a long sip from it. 

“Speaking of that though, there was actually something that I wanted to talk to you about,” she said and you lowered your cup from your lips.

“Go ahead,” you encouraged her before taking another sip.

“Are you and Namjoon....uh....fulfilling your....marital duties?” She wondered and you choked on your tea, immediately setting your cup down as you coughed harshly. Eun Kyung reached over and gave you several strong pats on the back, which helped you regulate your breathing again. 

“Uh, why do you ask?” You chuckled nervously.

“Well, with the coronation coming up, there’s been talk about the fact that you aren’t pregnant yet,” Eun Kyung elaborated and your eyes widened in realization. “Some people are beginning to become concerned.”

“And you’re one of them?” You shot back. 

“Yes, but not in the way that you’re thinking,” she laughed. “I’m worried about you as a person and not about your ability to conceive.”

“Why?”

“Because I know what it’s like to have your worth evaluated only in terms of how many kids you can pop out,” she smiled sadly and as her words registered with you, your jaw dropped as you put the pieces together. 

“Eun Kyung, you?”

“I struggled with infertility, yes,” she confirmed. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you whispered as you reached out, setting one of your hands on top of hers. She turned her hand around and intertwined your fingers with hers. 

“Oh, I’m ok sweetie,” she swore. “After Ho-jin and I got married, we had miscarriage after miscarriage and it took six years before I got pregnant with Namjoon and he became our miracle baby. I’m telling you all this because I known how isolating that struggle can be and if that’s the case for you, I wanted you to know that you’re not alone.”

“I appreciate it Eun Kyung, but I don’t think that’s the case for Namjoon and I,” you muttered. “We’re just taking things slow and not rushing it. I mean, we’ve only been married for a year and we have years to have babies.”

“Alright sweetheart, alright,” Eun Kyung laughed. “I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you and if that’s how you and Namjoon feel, then I’ll get everyone else off your back.”

“Thank you,” you smiled gratefully and she tightened the grip that she had on your hand reassuringly. 

“No problem. Now, onto more important business,” she grinned. “Finding you a dress to wear for the coronation.” You nodded your head immediately, grateful that she changed the direction of the conversation because you had no idea how to tell her that you and Namjoon had only had sex a handful of times in the last year. 

.............................................

After finally leaving Ho-jin and Eun Kyung’s house a few hours later, you went home and made dinner. As usual, Namjoon came home around 6 and the two of you sat down in your dining room together, eating and talking about how your days went. 

Everything was going very normally until Namjoon called out to you as you both worked on cleaning up the kitchen.

“Y/N-ah?” He said. 

“Hmm?” 

“Did my mom say something to you today about a baby?” He wondered and you turned to look over at him, watching as he continued to wash the dishes as if he hadn’t just asked you what he did. 

“How did you know?” You asked.

“My father said something about it to me today after our meeting,” Namjoon sighed and you walked over to him, leaning against the counter so that you could look at him. 

“She did too, and she told me about her infertility,” you told him. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because it’s super personal to her and I didn’t know if she would be comfortable with me telling you,” he explained. “But why do you think I wanted 5 pups initially?”

“I get it now,” you giggled. “What did your dad say when he brought it up?”

“It was definitely less diplomatic than my mom,” he chuckled as he finished rinsing off the dishes and began drying off his hands. “He went on and on about how our family legacy needs to continue on and if we’re able, we need to have at least a few kids.”

“Hmm,” you murmured and Namjoon looked at you skeptically, raising his eyebrow.

“What’s that mean?” He laughed. 

“Nothing,” you shrugged as you looked down at your feet but he didn’t buy that, throwing the towel that he was holding onto the counter and moving closer to you.

“Hey, talk to me,” he pleaded and you sighed heavily before squaring your shoulders and looking up at him again.

“Why don’t you ever try to have sex with me?” You demanded to know. “I mean, besides our wedding night, we’ve only had sex during my two heats and your rut, and I’m guessing that you didn't tell your father that.”

“No, I didn’t tell him that,” Namjoon huffed with a smile. “And the reason that I haven’t been trying is because I don’t want to push you. Even though we both agreed to this marriage, it still never leaves my mind that you didn’t really choose this. I don’t want to force you into yet another life changing decision, because pups are forever.”

“Hey, I wasn’t forced into anything,” you gently corrected him. “Yeah, I had to make a choice to save my pack but I did that because I wanted to. Plus, you didn’t necessarily choose this either.”

“I know but still,” he muttered. “I just didn’t want you to think that you were obligated to have sex with me, let alone have my pups. And as for the heat and rut thing, it was easier because you asked for me during your heat and during my rut, I could blame it on my hormones.”

“You sure that it’s not because you’re not attracted to me?” You joked lamely and Namjoon smacked his lips together as he set his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. 

“Baby, you’re the most gorgeous woman that I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” he told you seriously. “I think the world of you, and you know that.”

“It’s kind of hard to remember,” you admitted. 

“I should have explained to you my reasoning and for that, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “But don’t you ever think for one second that I don’t want you. I think about you all the time, my Alpha gets nervous anytime that I’m away from you for too long and hell, my cock gets hard as soon as you look at me with these eyes.”

“Namjoon,” you whined through giggles, which made him smile as he looked at you fondly. 

“If you’re comfortable with it, I’d have sex with you whenever you wanted,” he said. 

“I’m comfortable with it,” you assured him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“But what about pups?” You whispered, your lips moving against his as you spoke.

“Baby, I’d love to see you pregnant with my pups,” he told you. “If it were up to just me, you’d always be pregnant. All you have to do is say the word.”

“I want your pups Alpha,” you murmured as you looked up at him through your lashes. “Please.” Without another word, Namjoon bent down and scooped you up into his arms, making you squeal and cling onto him as he carried you bridal style out of the kitchen and up the stairs. 

“I could’ve walked!” You exclaimed while giggling. 

“This is more romantic,” he winked at you. After making it up the stairs, he walked down the hallway to your bedroom, using one hand to open the door before stepping inside. He walked over to the bed, laying you down gently before crawling on top of you and kissing you passionately. 

You moaned into his mouth, your legs coming up to wrap themselves around his waist as you pulled him closer to you. He moved away from your lips eventually, his mouth trailing downwards and sucking on the mating mark that he had given you on your wedding night. 

“You’re perfect baby,” he mumbled against your skin and you could barely reply because he had begun to grind against you. The thin layer of your leggings did little to inhibit the feeling, and you felt yourself whining as you became more turned on. 

“W-wanna suck you off,” you whispered shyly and he pulled his face out of your neck, looking down at you with a smile. 

“Alright,” he nodded before climbing off of you, settling himself next to you on the bed. You sat up then, reaching down and pulling off your t-shirt before letting Namjoon help you unclip your bra. Even though the two of you hadn’t had sex as often as you hoped, you had sex often enough to know that your husband was definitely a breast man and he loved to see them while you gave him a blow job. 

You moved down the bed and settled yourself on your stomach in between his legs, pulling down the shorts he had on and his boxers just enough so that his cock fell out, taking ahold of it in both of your hands. He was almost fully hard and you didn’t waste any time taking him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip.

“Fuck,” Namjoon groaned deeply and hearing your Alpha feel good only spurred you on. You then took him as deep into your mouth as you could, making him moan from how good your throat felt around his cock. Once you deemed him wet enough, you began to bob your head up and down, using your hands to stroke the parts of his shaft that you couldn’t reach with your mouth. 

“Good girl baby,” he praised you. “So good to my cock.” You could feel yourself getting wet but you were too focused on doing your best to make your husband feel good. As you continued to suck him off for a few minutes, you could feel his cock beginning to throb lightly and you knew that meant that he was close to coming. Just as that thought registered in your mind though, Namjoon reached down and pulled himself out of your mouth. 

“What’s wrong?” You wondered. 

“You're sucking me off a little too well baby,” he chuckled. “I was about to come embarrassingly fast.”

“That’s ok,” you shrugged. 

“Not if you want my pups inside of you instead of in your mouth,” he smirked, making you blush at his words. “Here, switch places with me.” You sat up and shuffled on your knees up the bed, turning yourself around before laying down on your back. Namjoon then sat up and grabbed ahold of the waist band of your leggings, pulling them down along with your panties. You let your legs fall out and Namjoon licked his lips once he set his eyes on your bare pussy.

“I knew it,” he grumbled, reaching out and letting his middle finger ghost over your clit. “I could tell you were getting wet baby, I could smell your scent from your pussy.” Without giving you the chance to reply, he dove forward and sucked your clit into his mouth. You cried out, your back arching up off of the bed as he suckled on your clit. 

“Damn it,” you whimpered, lifting your head and watching him as he began to leave wide licks up your slit. 

“Let’s see how you do with a finger,” Namjoon muttered, pausing the actions of his tongue in order to slide his middle finger inside of you. 

“Oh fuck,” you gasped, letting your had fall back against the bed. 

“You’re so tight baby, you’re just swallowing my finger,” Namjoon groaned. You felt movement on the bed and when you opened your eyes, you were surprised to see that Namjoon was now laying next to you on the bed, looking down at you as he pushed a second finger in alongside his 

“You want Alpha to make you come like this?” He wondered aloud as he began to thrust his finger in and out of you. “Wanna come on my fingers?”

“Please,” you nodded and he smiled as he began to fuck you faster. Namjoon’s fingers were long and slender, meaning that he as able to reach the deepest parts of you without it being too overwhelming to you. 

“Ha, ha,” you moaned in time with his thrusts.

“You’re dripping baby,” he told you but you didn’t even hear him because you could feel your orgasm winding to it’s end in your core.

“I’m gonna come,” you announced and nothing could’ve prepared you for Namjoon pulling his fingers out of you. You whipped your head to look over at him, tears beginning to well up in your eyes as you felt your orgasm slowly but surely slipping away. 

“Why?” You pouted and Namjoon cooed at you before leaning over and kissing you firmly for a few seconds before pulling away. 

“Alpha wants his Omega to come on his cock while I come inside of you, ok?” He told you and you sighed reluctantly before nodding your head. 

Namjoon pushed his shorts and underwear all the way off his legs before reaching up and pulling his t-shirt off as well. He then sat up and moved to settle in between your legs, taking ahold of the base of his cock and tapping the head of it on your clit. 

“If you want me to c-come on your cock, d-don’t tease me,” you whined and he just chuckled fondly. 

“Ok, I’m sorry baby,” he whispered, guiding his cock into you slowly. You felt like you were going to choke on air as he stretched you out, since you had basically forgotten how long and thick he was. 

“Oh, just like that baby,” Namjoon mumbled as he began to slowly thrust in and out of you. “You’re opening up so good for me.”

“A-Alpha,” you whimpered, clutching onto his forearms as he began to fuck you faster. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“What does?” Namjoon goaded you. “Tell your Alpha baby.”

“Your cock feels good inside me,” you moaned. “Feel so full.”

“God, I can’t believe that I was keeping myself from feeling your tight little pussy every day,” he grumbled. “I’m sorry baby.”

“It’s o-ok,” you stammered back, the beginnings of your orgasm starting to reappear.

“I’m gonna fuck you everyday from here on out if you let me,” he swore, looking down at you with hooded eyes. “Would you want that? Want Alpha to always keep you full with his knot?”

“Please, please, please,” you chanted.

“Want Alpha to fuck a baby into you?”

“Give it to me,” you moaned loudly and Namjoon reached up, sliding two of his fingers into your open mouth. You didn’t even hesitate to start sucking on them, making your husband groan as your tongue slid around the digits. 

“Gonna make you come,” he said as he pulled his fingers away from your mouth, reaching down and setting them on your clit. Your mouth dropped open as he began to rub firm circles on the nub and you were almost embarrassed by  how fast the stimulation sped up the pace at which your orgasm was running towards you. 

“Holy fuck, don’t stop,” you pleaded. “I’m gonna come.”

“Go ahead baby, I won’t stop you,” he promised as he continued to fuck you and rub your clit. Sure enough, your orgasm slammed into you a few seconds later. The moan that fell out of your mouth was almost deafeningly loud and you were sure that Namjoon would have indents on his arm from where you were gripping onto his skin as your back arched up off of the bed. 

“Fuck, you’re squirting baby,” he groaned as he took his hand off of your clit and placed his hands on the bed next to your head, fucking into you even harder now. 

“T-too much,” you murmured as you set your hands against his chest.

“You love it though. You’re still coming for me,” he smirked and you couldn’t help but to blush because you could still feel yourself leaking onto his cock. 

“I do,” you admitted and he leaned down, pressing a firm kiss to your lips. 

“You’re so perfect for me,” he grumbled and you could feel the beginnings of his knot starting to swell. “Squirting for me and marking your Alpha. God, it makes me want to stuff my knot into you and fill you up with my pups.”

“Do it,” you encouraged him. “Give me a baby Joon.”

“I love you,” he grunted and you gave him a small smile.

“I love you too,” you replied, moaning lightly when he kissed you again. As the two of you made out, Namjoon pushed his knot inside of you and you felt his cum start to pour into you. He continued to give you light strokes, making sure to fuck his cum even deeper inside of you than it already was.

“Making sure that it takes huh?” You giggled and he just blushed as he pulled back to look at you. 

“Gotta make it worth it,” he pointed out. “Besides, even if you don’t get pregnant this time, we can always try again and again and again.”

“As long as you make me come like that again,” you nodded in agreement.

“Oh, I definitely wanna see that again,” he smirked. “Maybe I should deny you your orgasm more often.”

“I’ll murder you,” you stated firmly, making him laugh loudly. 

“I’m joking baby,” he said, leaning down and kissing your mating mark. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” you whispered.

.............................................

A few weeks later, the day of Namjoon’s coronation had finally come. The entire pack was gathered outside near the wall of magnolias that you and Namjoon had gotten married near, waiting for the ceremony to take place. 

The two of you were in your shared bedroom, where you were helping him get dressed into his traditional hanbok. 

“Are you ok?” You asked him while you fastened the buttons on his chest. 

“Yeah, of course,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re trembling,” you giggled and he just sighed heavily.

“I’m terrified,” he admitted. “I’ve been looking forward to being Pack Leader my entire life but what if I’m not good at it? My dad and grandfather were amazing Pack Alphas and what if I can’t measure up?”

“Joon,” you tsked as you reached up and set your hands on his cheeks, making him look you in the eyes. “You can’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are going to be an amazing leader because you’re thoughtful, caring, and selfless.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” you smiled. “Just like I know that you’ll be an amazing daddy.”

“A daddy?” He repeated confusedly and you nodded your head. It took him a few minutes but when he put the pieces together, his eyes widened. “Baby, are you pregnant?”

“I am,” you nodded, squealing in surprise when Namjoon wrapped his arms around you and picked you up, spinning you around in a circle. “Wait, you’re gonna make me nauseous!”

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he laughed as he set you back down on the ground. “I just can’t believe it.”

“You’re happy, right?”

“Of course I am,” he sighed contentedly. “I’m so happy that our parents arranged our marriage.”

“Ditto,” you cooed, leaning forward and kissing him gently for a few seconds before pulling away. “Now, we have to go. You have to go and claim your rightful position.”

“We have to claim our rightful position,” he corrected you as he reached down and intertwined your fingers with his. After taking one last look at him to make sure that he looked good, the two of you walked downstairs and out of your house, ready to step into your new roles and the new phase of your lives.