#bro I need to work on a better summary
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mistymisfit · 1 year ago
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So long, Marianne I
Summary: Reader is a spy working undercover in Gotham when she meets Jason Todd, who despite her better judgement she forms a very close friendship with. This story follows their escape from Arkham asylum, their fall out and the times they run into each other as they get older.
Relationship: AK!Jason x Meta!Fem!Reader
Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence (I'm serious, tho- in canon it's also pretty violent), angst, hurt/no comfort (for now), this series is just my excuse to write angst lol.
A/N: *CIPA means Congenital insensitivity to pain and anhydrosis aka people who are unable to feel pain. see the end for more notes :)
Word Count: 4,2K
Read on AO3
Part 2- Masterlist
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He repeats his question one more time before kicking your stomach again, "Who are you?". He's been asking the same thing for the past... month? Time gets blurry when you're kidnapped. Fuck, undercover work sucked no matter who you did it for. Whether it was your actual boss or the big bad bat himself, they should all make it up for making you endure this--make it up by dying, you thought. God, whose stupid idea was it again? Letting yourself be kidnapped by the Joker so they could track his lair and see if he had any connections to your current case, ah yes... your boss. Not even Batman would ask you to do that, at least the man had some moral code he hung onto, maybe a little too tight. You've earned an early retirement after this assignment, almost two years living in Gotham, out of everywhere. But what neither you or your boss expected was that he'd know your "secret identity" was fake, that he would torture and kill the agents who worked with you and pretended to be your family--or that they'd sell you out. You whisper, they were not even words just an unintelligible sound. He lowers down, putting his ear close to your mouth to be able to listen better and asks you to repeat yourself. You bite him, as hard as you can and draw blood, lots of it which you spit out with a smirk.
"Fuck you" You taunt and he just laughs, holding his wounded ear. The laughing is excessive, it reverberates around the entire room and you brace for the next impact. But it never comes.
"I think it's time you met a friend we have in common" His smile makes dread set in on you, who? By his standards it could be anyone, from someone you actually knew to someone you've never met but was there to pick up on his dirty work as he went to do other things. He pushes you with his feet until you lay on your stomach and begins to cover your hands, you count the layers. First some kind of cloth, then plastic wrap, then aluminum foil, then a bag to hold it all together. Right, you let everyone believe your healing abilities could only work with your hands.
He drags you up, grabbing one of your arms as he walked you to a different room. The side of his head still bled, and you watched the blood fall down and how it got no reaction from him. He must be used to pain or there must be something wrong with his pain nerves. Maybe not enough to be CIPA* because you have seen him wince and experience pain before. Your feet fail you, you can barely take steps due to how weak you are. Every bite of food you've been forced to take ended up being spat or thrown up moments later. You can feel how chapped your lips are, how tangled your hair is, how deep the bags under your eyes must be, the way your arms hurt from being tied behind your back for too long, how much you must look like shit. He opens a door to a mostly dark room, you can only make out a figure sitting on a chair under the singular light in the entire room. He--yeah, it's a guy definitely, you think--he's got his head low, his posture isn't close to being okay and upon further inspection you realize he's tied to the chair. He's pushing to walk in his direction, and you recognize that hair, even though less dirty, and that side profile way less hurt. You knew that person, you knew him maybe a little too much for your mission.
Jason Todd was once your friend, possibly the only friend your age you've ever had. You met him when he was Robin, being instructed that working with Batman may end up being beneficial at the end of the line you were told not to antagonize him. Even helped him every once in a while to get at least his respect. The first time you ever talked to Jason-- or rather Robin at the time, was when he sprained an ankle one night. You were there, trying to gain info on an illegal arms shipment that was arriving that night "We just have to know who bought it" they told you. You weren't there to stop them, you barely were allowed to actually stop bad things from happening and sometimes you envied that in them. They were their own person, they could have lives, make their own decisions, have agency of their own. Instead you, poor you, you had nothing but your work, no family you knew of, no goals of your own, nowhere to go if you wanted to quit. You healed him, at least that you could do. Maybe word would get out of a new vigilante with "unspecified healing abilities", they didn't have to know you actually manipulated time and just turned time back to a moment they weren't hurt. And from that moment on, unknown to you, he had a crush on you.
He started following you around. It's not stalking he'd justify it, he was just investigating. Making sure whose side you were on because after all you were on the harbor the day he stopped some local gangs from getting their hands on bigger guns. But he found no more than your cover story, neither he or Batman could leave a secret identity be secret. He believed your cover story, no one had any reason to question it. You were just Marianne, a simple girl. A simple girl with superpowers who healed his ankle. Later, when you became closer, sitting next to each other on the rooftop of a building looking down on the city lights, and the traffic that still moved late at night, you explained to him that your powers came from a freak accident in a lab when you were a kid. That much was true, most of the things you told him were true. At the time you felt he was someone who understood you, and he felt the same. And that's how the both of you started developing feelings for each other. It was more than just a crush and the need to have the other closer kept getting stronger. You kept reminding yourself that you couldn't, that you were being so unfair to him, keeping him in the dark about who you really were, if he knew the truth he would never have trusted you. So when you were told he died, how Batman was so sure of it, you regretted everything. You were so decided on telling him the night he disappeared, why didn't you do it before? You've been living with that ever since, the regret, the guilt. And it only got worse when you found out he was dead, knowing he died not knowing your real name, he died believing your lies.
"No," you try to stop, not to get closer to his corpse. "what kind of trick is this?"
"Ah, come on- he's still your friend, isn't he?" You struggle, not letting him move you and putting your entire body weight into it, every strain of energy you had in trying to stop it. How sick is he? He kept his body all this time. Tears fell on your face just thinking about it. How much he suffered, how violent his last moments were, how he didn't get justice or a proper burial.
"You can't even respect the dead," You cry "I'm gonna rip your heart out of your chest with my bare hands, do you hear me? I'll make your death so violent even Batman will feel sick"
Your threats started falling out of your mouth faster than the logic in your brain could work, you shouldn't be saying those things. You couldn't be making empty promises like that, you knew you couldn't kill him. You would never be allowed to do it. He laughed, and laughed and pushed you to fall on your back right at the feet of your dead friend. You looked up, just a peak to see his face one last time but he didn't look decomposed, in fact he even had fresh blood on his face. You also saw his chest moving up and down very slowly, was he sleeping?
"Ah, how sweet of you" The man awes, pretending to be flustered by her death threats "but I didn't kill him"
He steps closer and slaps Jason's face, yelling "Wakey, wakey! You have a visit!"
You watch in shock at how he his eyes open so fast, how his head shoot up and the fear in his expression starts to settle in. He wore an orange jumpsuit, as if he was just an inmate more, his cheeks were stained with tears, there was dry blood on one of his nostrils and his lower lip had a cut. Not to mention the "J" scar on his face too.
"What did you do to him?" You ask, sitting up from where you were.
"We were just having fun together, right Jason?" He grabs his head from behind him to make him shake it, saying yes. "and you and I can have just as much fun, soon as you start telling the truth"
"Ma-Marianne?" His voice is rough and low, it was the first time you heard him scared.
"Yes," You crawl closer to him, and look up at him before resting your forehead in one of his legs to hide your face as you started to weep inconsolably "I'm so sorry, they said you were dead, that-"
There is a deadly silence filling the room , where you can only hear your ugly sobs. Jason doesn't respond and you didn't expect him to, but at least they let you cry in peace. Taking in the fact that he'd been alive all this time, thinking about what he's been put through as you mourned like an idiot when you should've kept looking for him. How you abandoned him, how everyone abandoned him. And that made you feel even worse than your initial thought of Joker not letting him rest after he died, because in that case there was nothing you could've done but now... You felt his leg move lightly and you looked up, maybe you were making him uncomfortable and this was his way of saying it. He mouthed a little "I love you" when he knew your captor wouldn't see it. Just then as you gave him a small nod and mouthed "I love you too" you saw he was crying too. Soon his tears fell on you, and he moved his shoulder and turned his head to wipe them off as he sniffed.
"Aww, isn't it romantic, Mr J?" Harley's voice sounds from behind you but you couldn't bring yourself to look away from him. You were getting out there tonight, fuck your cover, fuck your job, he was the only thing that mattered right now.
"Young love," He sighs, dreamy, as if he knew what he was talking about. Like he knew what love felt like at all in any way, shape or form. "We'll have a little menage a trois, It'll be fun dont cha' think?"
And soon enough you felt Harley's arms holding you down as he put a rag over your face and proceeded to throw water. Jason screamed, asking them to stop, that you had nothing to do with them. You coughed when they stopped, at least maybe your face was clean and free of the blood you bit from him earlier. You could handle getting waterboarded, you've been trained to endure all sorts of torture methods. What you couldn't handle was hearing and seeing him like that.
"Now, your little girlfriend hasn't been entirely honest with you"
"I don't know what you're talking about, I've already told you who I am" You insist, this time actually desperate.
"Ah- and who are these two then? Liars?" He shows him, not you, a picture of your fake parents dead. Then he shows it to you, of course Jason thought they were your parents, you gave him no reason to believe otherwise. "Cause you see, I thought you were just another annoying kid, getting in the way of my game with the bat- but you're much more than, you're too good"
Silence, you were trained better than this. They put the cloth on your face again, trying once more to get the truth out of you.
"Hey, maybe he knows" He switches up quickly, and takes a piece of broken wood to hold it over Jason "Come on tell me, who's her? And why is your old man protecting her?"
"Her name's Marianne, and he's protecting her because she's my friend"
"Ah-" He imitates a buzzer noise, like he was in some game show "Wrong answer" He hit him.
"Stop it!" You yell, as he repeatedly hit him. You struggle trying to break free from the woman holding you. Until you managed to hit her with my head somehow. You feel the pain in your scalp from her teeth hitting you too.
"This is useless mista' J," Harley spoke, doubt filled her voice. Maybe you were telling the truth, maybe you were just who you said you were and he was too lost to see it. "the girl's been saying the same for months, and her parents weren't even that convincing when they said they weren't her folks"
You watch them leave, him being visibly angry at her for questioning him. Only for him to come back moments later, almost bolting to Jason saying "I have a show to run outside, could you two behave and wait for me here?" Like you had much of a choice, then he said "And hold this for me, boy" before stabbing him. Of course he couldn't stop by without leaving him with an open wound of any sort. You rushed to him before the door was even closed, you removed the knife from the wound with your mouth, your hands still tied behind your back and wrapped up in multiple different layers in a failed attempt to stop you from using your power. Your eyes lit up as you healed him, his pained grunts eventually coming to a stop.
"I bet I look like shit right now" You joke, resting your cheek on his thigh once more. T rying to hide the fact that, despite the situation you were in, you were still a bit embarrassed that he saw you like that.
"You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen in my life" He confesses, not a single strain of joke or sarcasm in his statement and it makes you blush before you move to the back of his chair to untie him.
"You only say that because you want me to free you" You say before grabbing the rope with your teeth, taking longer to undo the knots than it would with your hands on your back and not being able to see what you were doing. If only they didn't think your powers worked from your hands.
"His ear, you did it?" He asked, getting a muffled sound of confirmation from you. "That's my girl"
The scoff in which he said it made you blush again, your cheeks were heating up tonight. He knew if anyone was ever getting him out it would be you, not Batman. His mentor probably started to look for a replacement as soon as he went off the grid. He knew you would never betray him, that's the only thing the Joker couldn't torture or manipulate out of him, the one thing he could hold on to. His kidnapper was wrong, he was never Batman's or his. He's always been yours, probably since you healed his ankle. The ropes around his arms loosen until he's free again, his muscles were sore but soon the adrenaline would kick in and rid him from all pain. He frees his legs in a hurry as you stand up in front of him, he stands up too again. The stretch felt good, moving on his own felt good, and seeing you again felt even better. You turned around, it was his turn to get rid of the ropes now. He grabbed the knife that you couldn't use and cut through your bindings. Still he couldn't help but think about the worried look on your face, what are you thinking about? How to get out? Him? Whatever it was, he took a moment and the second you turned to face him again he wrapped you in a hug. Feeling your warm body against him for the time in so long, you return the affection hugging him just as tightly. He feels relieved, finally a gentle hand lays on him, a hand that he knew could never hurt him.
"Jay, I-" You hesitate, hiding your face in his chest while trying to hide and get the courage to tell him at the same time "I have to tell you something"
"Can it wait until we get out?" You shake your head no, he had to know so you could break out from there. I mean, it was kinda hard to break out of Arkham without help.
"No, uhm, we need to call for help" You start "There's a chip on me, I need you to cut me and take it out"
"What? Help from who?"
"My agency" You admit in a whisper, and just as fast as you got him back you feel how you're loosing him a second time. He lets go of you, and you can feel the distance he's putting between you two more than any torture Joker put you through.
"Where is it?" He asks, his tone cold and detached. You try to hide how hurt you were, you should've expected it he had every reason to be mad.
"Here" You lift your shirt up and point to the place where the tracker was, on your lower stomach right above your hips, on your left side.
He nods, and you lay down on the floor so he can get to work. He touches you, only to get a feel of where it was and you try not to think that this will probably be the last time you feel him so close as you put your arm over your mouth to stop any noise that may come out of you. He cuts your skin, and you bite your arm and hope it's quick. With the end of the knife he swiftly pulls it out in between all the blood coming out of you. You tell him to step on it so it gets destroyed and sends the message, as you heal yourself. He wasn't even watching you, his eyes were fixed on the door processing yet another betrayal.
"Jay, I wanted to tell you-" You try to explain but he cut you off shooting a serious glare at you.
"I don't care," He was cold, his voice severe and it even scared you "get me the fuck out of here and we'll talk"
You nodded on the verge of tears, then deciding that holding on to the hope than when you two were somewhere safer he'd be open to have a conversation was your safer bet to maintain some sanity. Maybe then he'd listen to your apologies. At this point you weren't hoping for absolution but a truce would suffice. Why did you have to go and fuck it up? Why did you have to go and fall for him? You knew who you were, a spy trained for most of the life you remembered who worked undercover in Gotham, you knew you were not supposed to have any ties or emotional connections. You cursed at whoever gave you feelings and made you human, instead of whoever turned you into a machine.
"We should get moving, get to the extraction point"
He just nodded, it was short and formal, so unlike what you were used from him. He followed behind you as you carefully opened the door. There were no guards outside, so you moved. Soon an alarm started to blare through the rotten and worn down asylum wing, that's why the hallway was so empty. Two inmates run past both of you, pushing you to a wall in the process. You reach to grab Jason's wrist to make sure he's behind you but stop halfway through. Probably being touched by you was the last thing he wanted. So you just walk, decidedly pushing through this situation you were in. Armed with nothing but your fists you take out a man twice your size, you easily dodge his punches and swiftly move around him to hit him in key points that he leaves open. Jason watches, and realizes as you jump to the man's shoulders and snap his neck that you had been holding back all this time. He understands you have been capable of using lethal force but chose not to, though he doesn't know the reason for that. Was it because of Batman? Was it because you were ordered not to? He pushes down the thought, as he should be more focused on the guy he was fighting instead of you. You keep moving, going up to were a helicopter would be waiting for you. What you didn't expect was the Joker's backup plan, Death-stroke, pointing a gun right at your head. Shit, you didn't even tell him about your powers yet, he was going to be even more pissed if you didn't find another way out of this soon.
"Out of my way kid" He tells you "I'm only getting paid for not letting him leave alive, but I don't mind wasting a bullet"
"Oh, fuck off" you sigh tired, you just wanted to get out of there. You were exhausted, you wanted a shower and to sleep on a real bed and if it wasn't too much to ask maybe see the light of the sun. So you froze him, time stopped for the man in front of you. "move, it won't last long"
Jason wants to ask, he's itching to know. How did you do it? How did healing people translate into what you just did? He had so many questions for you, about you. Every time a new question came into his head he felt even more offended, he thought he knew you so well and turns out you'd made him out to be an idiot. He feels like an idiot and for that he's even angrier at you for lying, for keeping things from him when he had been so vulnerable to you. That you knew everything about him yet he knew barely anything about you and even what he knew he doubted it was even real at all. But out sheer stubbornness he wasn't going to ask, he'd rather take the curiosity to his grave.
The loud noise of a helicopter becomes more clear as you head up, and then you recognize the all black uniform and standard weapon of your agency. Confusion painted your face, why would they send backup instead of it just being an extraction team. Usually they didn't have a care in the word if you got out in time or not, even going as far as leaving you behind once. They weren't usually this helpful, or willing to use resources on a simple rescue mission. The help didn't last long since you heard the gun shot coming from where you came from. Shit, it wore off you better leave quickly. You tell him to run, to keep up the pace and he does, promising himself this was the last time he would trust you. It was all fine and well, you could see the escape route clearly you almost made it when you heard it. Jason held the bleeding wound from the bullet, stumbling until you helped him. You stole a gun from a passing agent, they wouldn't notice since it was just their back-up, and shot at the mercenary. Your aim was just a little off, since you were also holding a person with your other arm but you managed to hit his arm. The bullet just grazed him, your friend didn't have the same luck. You shot again, just to create some cover so you could move. It worked, you made it to the helicopter before he passed out from the blood loss. Sadly you couldn't heal him since the bullet was still there, so in tears as you took off you managed to stop his bleeding until you got help.
Of course your supervisor wasn't happy about you escaping earlier than expected or that you bought him along. But after some promises and insisting, they agreed not to let him die and took him to the closest headquarters. You knew the conditions they put on you were harsh but you thought nothing was worth more than his life, so you agreed. Even if it mean never seeing him again, why did it matter anyways? It's not like he wanted much to do with you after today.
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A/N: Like I said on the notes on ao3, I'm sensitive and this is my first time posting what I write in a LONG time so have patience with me lol.
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flowers 𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒
Summary: y/n gets flowers for lando after every podium and win he's had in 2024.
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ln x reader ִ ࣪𖤐
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ fluff ִ ࣪𖤐
masterlist ☾☼
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"what's your favourite flower?"
"hm?"
"what's your favourite flower?"
"don't have one,"
"why not?"
"never got any flowers,"
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
australia p3 - daffodils [new beginnings]
the start of the season was decent, according to lando. getting his first podium of the season was good. he was proud of it, of course he was. and to celebrate with one of his closest friends on the top step was even more special.
the car was getting better, but he knew there was a lot more still left to do. his mechanics had told him, had explained to him that it's difficult, and it's all theoretical. lando understood that. it wasn't necessary that the car that would be faster in theory would work practically as well. but, lando tried his best to give as much feedback as he could.
he was sticky with champagne, and after all the media duties and celebrations, he just wanted to escape. he wanted to escape to his driver room, and call his girlfriend and maybe his mum as well.
"good race, man," one of his mechanics congratulated him as he walked to his driver's room.
"thanks, mate," lando responded, smiling, and clapping his hand against the others in a bro handshake thing.
it didn't have a name.
finally reaching his driver room, lando opened the door and stopped short.
on the table in the corner had a bouquet of flowers. flowers he had never seen before in person. flowers he hadn't ordered, and knew jon wouldn't order for him.
slowly, he walked closer to the bouquet, and picked up the card hidden in the flowers.
"for your first podium of 2024, it's a new beginning. i love you. y/n <3"
lando smiled, a bright, shining smile. he'd just received flowers. for possibly the first time ever. immediately finding his phone, he video called his girlfriend.
"hi, baby! congratulations!" she said immediately as she answered the call.
"thank you for the flowers, my love," lando said softly, still admiring the flowers.
"they're daffodils! do you like them?"
"they're absolutely beautiful,"
she smiled, and it filled lando with a warm feeling. "i'm glad,"
lando sat on the little bench, craddling the bouquet against his chest like it was the podium trophy, and the two lost themselves in conversations and laughter and love.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
china p2 - iris [hope]
his second podium of the season. lando wasn't feeling particularly confident. with himself or the car. he knew that there was still a long way to go. the car felt a little alive, but nearly not enough for winning races.
he finished almost 14 seconds behind max, and that didn't make him feel very good from the team perspective. sure, it was important points he got for the wcc, but again, not nearly enough especially with checo coming in third, five or seconds behind him.
lando hoped that he could get mclaren in top 3 again at the very least, but he was already losing hope, and the season had just begun.
trudging back to his drivers room, lando opened the door, entering and quickly shutting it behind him. he needed some time to think, some time to himself.
as he sat down on the little bench thing, he noticed something purple and fragile peeking from his packed bag. he didn't have the energy to move, really. but something about it forced him to move.
slowly unzipping the bag, he pulled out the flowers. irises. he knew these. how? he didn't know.
his face broke into a smile again. taking the card attached, he read, "p2, baby! lfg! don't lose hope. your time will come! i love you. y/n <3"
he quickly snapped a picture, and sent it to his sleeping girlfriend, thanking her, and telling her that he would call her first thing once she was awake.
a knock on the door told him that it was time to leave, to go back to the hotel to pack, before their flight. zipping his bag up again, but keeping the flowers in his hand, lando picked up his stuff, and exited the room, still delicately holding the irises.
his beautiful, hopeful irises.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
miami p1 - lilac [first love]
oh, lando wished this feeling would never go away. it was a mix of relief and feeling proud of himself.
he was sticky with champagne, but for once, he didn't care, because, fuck, he was a race winner. he was a fucking race winner.
seven years he'd been with mclaren, and five years driving. his sixth year, he'd finally won. fucking finally won a race.
he couldn't stop smiling, couldn't stop laughing, he was so happy. so fucking happy. he was proud of himself, and he was so thankful for everyone who had stuck by him throughout his career, before f1 and during.
the celebrations were long, as they should be. his team was so happy for him, he'd spoken to his family on call in a few quiet moments, and he'd had max on a video call for most part of the celebration, desperately wishing he was there as well. aarav, niran, ria were there, but honestly, they weren't max. no one could ever be max.
this was also the race that his girlfriend had attended. he'd wanted her there, told her specifically to fly out because he had a good feeling in his gut.
and what a good feeling it was.
throughout the celebrations, lando kept her somewhere in his line of sight, needing to make sure that she was comfortable. someone had gotten her a bottle of champagne too, and every time the team sprayed him with it, she joined in on the fun, laughing with him and his team.
later, both of them sticky and smelling of champagne, they walked back to his driver room. his arm was across her shoulder, and hers was wrapped around his waist.
as soon as he opened the door, his eyes widened, "oh my god,"
y/n was looking at his expectantly, biting her lip to gauge his reaction. he slowly removed his arm from her shoulder as he walked in the two steps of space the room had left.
"oh my fucking god," he muttered, still taking it all in.
"do you like it?" she whispered.
the room was full of bouquets of lilacs, each one bright and blooming. there wasn't much space left in the room, but god, it looked so beautiful.
lando immediately turned around, wrapping his arms around her waist as he buried his head in her neck and picked her up. "i love it so much,"
her fingers were in his curls as she said, "they're lilacs. to remind you of your first love: racing."
lando pulled back from the hug, settling her down, "thank you so much. i love it. i love you. fuck, i love you," grabbing her face in his hands, he kissed her, long and slow, wanting to cherish the moment.
later on, when the two of them had changed, they slowly picked up all the bouquets, and lando handed out three stems to each of his mechanics and his engineers, and anyone who was in lando norris' team, and then gave two stems each to the rest of them. he gave four to zak, and the man had laughed and wrapped lando in another hug.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
emilia-romagna p2 - gladiolus [believing in yourself]
he was so close. fuck, he was so goddamn close to winning again. 0.752 seconds behind, he was so close.
he was happy for max v, of course he was. he was happy with p2 as well. there was no doubt in that. but, when p1 was so close, and lando knows he could've pushed just a little harder, it does settle a sense of disappointment in his gut.
with a p2 and a p4, it was a lot of points for mclaren, and as much as that excited lando, he was also afraid. he wasn't sure if he could really continue to keep performing so well, or as well as he wanted to. he wanted to go out and win, and he wanted to make his team proud, but fuck, was he good enough for it? would he ever be good enough for it?
his head was swimming with self-doubt, and it was slowly overshadowing his happiness of p2. it was annoying, and he was frustrated. he wanted to be happy about the podium, and the points, and all of that. he so desperately wanted to. but the questions, the what ifs just never stopped in his head.
opening the door to his driver room, he stopped. slowly he remembered. the flowers. his girlfriend. there was a bouquet of flowers he didn't know kept neatly in a vase. he assumed jon had done that.
removing his race suit, and quickly changing into fresher clothes, he picked up the bouquet, finding the note attached, "these are gladiolus. they're a reminder that you need to believe in your yourself. i love you. y/n <3"
lando laughed. how his girlfriend knew what was going on in his brain, he didn't know, but he was forever grateful that she was some sort of mind reader.
quickly snapping a picture and sending it to her, he hugged the flowers against his chest, wishing that she was there to hug him.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
canada p2 - poppy [strength]
lando walked into his driving room with his back still heavy from the intense race he had. the rain made it a battle to stay on the track; the visibility wasn't good, and the grip could be anywhere; the race felt like having a war with nature. still, he held steady enough to finish in p2, an impressive result if he said so himself.
as he shut the door, his eyes alighted on something that immediately threw a smile to his face. on the little table in the middle of the room was an exquisite bouquet of red poppies. the striking flowers stood out starkly against the antiseptic ambiance of the room, their radiant petals glowing brightly under the subdued lighting. alongside them rested a note.
lando stepped closer, picking up the card, and his heart gave a slight lurch when he saw her familiar handwriting.
"for your strength, my love. you showed it today, just like I know you always will. i'm so proud of you. you've got this, no matter what the track throws at you. i love you. y/n <3"
he let the words sink in, the weight of the race lightening for a moment as the warmth of her support surrounded him. the poppy—symbolizing strength, resilience, and overcoming adversity—was the perfect gesture for a race like this. the rain-soaked chaos of canada had tested him, yet here he was, with a podium finish in his grasp.
lando swept a hand back through his drenched hair, letting out an exasperated sigh as he leaned back into the wall. it wasn't just the soggy track, or the keen competition that had made the race so hard today—it was always the pressure; the little things that crept in with each lap. yet now, his hands wrapped about the bouquet before him, with her words going round in his head, gave him a deep quiet strength.
he placed the flowers gently on the windowsill, then took a minute to absorb the comfort in that gesture. she wasn't there, but somehow in that little room, she was. she was with him and reminded him of when he would go through some really tough days; he would know he was capable of holding it together.
the poppies, resplendent even in the rain, were the perfect symbol of how far he'd come—and how far he would still go.
"thanks, lovie," he whispered to the empty room, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he stared out the window at the distant lights of the circuit.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
spain p2 - orchids [remain positive]
p2 in spain. what a wonderful day. and he had managed to get the fastest lap. that, he liked the most for some reason.
he was desperate for another win. well, actually, no. he wasn't desperate for it. he wanted to win, yes, and he knew that he would have to be patient for it, and work on it himself.
the bottom line was, he wanted to win.
he trusted the car, and he trusted his team. he would get opportunities in the future, and he will be able to win, he knows that. somewhere in his brain, he knows that.
yet, sometimes, there's a little crack in that knowing. that little fear of the unknown, that what if he doesn't win again till next season? or the season after that?
no. no. that wasn't true. lando was a good driver. he was adapting to being in a fast car, but he was a good driver, and he would get another win soon. yes. that's what he needed to believe, that's what he needed to tell himself over and over again.
jon did a good job of reminding him of that too. he somehow always knew when lando's thoughts were beginning to spiral, and pulled him out before it happened. thank god for jon, really.
when he stepped off the podium, his trophy in hand, jon stood there with a bouquet of orchids. lando smiled instantly, despite the exhaustion.
lando handed the trophy to jon, and took the bouquet from him, as he was escorted to the conference room for the interviews.
he stared at his flowers, as the interview began.
"we wanted to start with max, but lando, you've captured our attention," ted kravitz started.
lando immediately looked up. "huh?"
"we see you've got some flowers. any idea who they're from or is it a secret admirer?"
lando laughed, "no, they're from my girlfriend. she gets me flowers for every podium i get,"
"kelly's never got me flowers," max added from beside him.
"yeah? she's got to step up her game, mate," lando joked.
"definitely, man. kelly, if you're watching this, i want flowers,"
the room laughed.
"they're orchids, aren't they?" lewis asked.
lando nodded, "yeah. my girlfriend said it's so that i remain positive because there's a lot more races to come,"
"that's sweet, man," lewis said, as he leaned back.
lando bit his lip, as he nodded. cause, yeah. that is sweet. his girlfriend is sweet.
"anything you want to say to your girlfriend, lando? while we're here," ted asked.
"um, just wanna thank her, really. i get more excited about the flowers now, than the trophy,"
the crowd laughed again, and the interviews shifted to max.
lando continued to stare at his orchids.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
silverstone p3 - periwinkle [home]
it was his home race. he wanted to do well in his home race. and he did. p3 was not bad. he was proud of himself, and a little disappointed for not winning, but he was much happier for lewis.
lewis had driven amazingly, and despite the fact that he was lando's competitor, lando couldn't help but applaud for him.
at the parc ferme, he met with his team, hugging them, and then hugged his girlfriend for a little longer. she had pressed a kiss to his helmet, and he winked at her.
max and he were talking when lewis came, and the two immediately congratulated the brit on his drive. lewis looked like he was about to cry, and lando wondered if he would ever feel like that, that emotion of winning at a home race.
after the podium celebrations, lando went for media duties, feeling sticky and in a desperate need of a shower. when he returned, he quickly found his girlfriend, giving her a little kiss, before promising her to be back in a few.
opening the door to his driver's room, he smiled at the bouquet kept beside his trophy. picking them up, he smiled at the periwinkles.
"periwinkles for your home race," y/n's voice was heard from behind him, and he turned around to see her leaning against the door frame.
he smiled, walking towards her, as he wrapped her in a loose hug, and said, "home is where you are, baby,"
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
hungary p2 - lotus [righteousness]
the team had fucked him over. the team had fucked him over so bad.
he didn't blame oscar. it wasn't oscar's fault. their strategy had been wrong, and they made a mistake. he was angry. he was angry at will for putting him in a position where either options felt wrong and right at the same time. he would never burst out on will, of course, and he knew he needed to control himself, but fuck fuck fuck, his team had fucked up.
lando reminded himself that he was the older driver now, the veteran. that meant it was upto him to make sure that oscar knew that the two of them were okay. and he did just that. he told oscar, showed him that there was no bad blood between the two of them, and lando wasn't mad at him.
he knew he was going to have to talk to andrea about the team orders later, but the exhaustion of the race was settling on his shoulders and he didn't want to do anything except go back home and cuddle with y/n.
that would fix everything.
after the celebrations, and the interviews, all lando wanted to do was go back to the hotel room and call y/n or max, and just rant. but, as soon as he walked in, a sort of disappointment added to the weight of his feelings already.
there was no bouquet. he'd gotten a podium. wasn't that the pattern that y/n was following? every time he got on the podium, she sent him flowers, right?
but, this time, there was nothing but one lone flower that wasn't even blooming. a deep hurt settled in his gut as he realised that maybe even his girlfriend was mad at him about the race and the way he responded with not giving oscar the position back immediately.
that somehow felt worse than the hate comments he'd been receiving on social media.
picking up the flower, he turned the card attached to it and read, "a lotus to represent the righteousness you showed on track. you did the right thing. i'm proud of you. would have been proud of you, regardless. i love you. y/n <3"
lando breathed a little easier. he let himself smile a little. she was proud of him. she thought he did the right thing. she was on his side.
how silly of him to think otherwise.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
netherlands p1 - amaryllis [to sparkle]
he did it. he did it again. yes, he lost the lead, but he got it back, and he created a 22 second gap, and he won. again.
finally.
he was happy, of course he was. though, what excited him more were the inevitable bouquet of flowers that would be in his drivers room. he couldn't wait to see what his girlfriend had chosen this time.
the trophy was huge, and it was heavy, but it was easily his favourite. the words written were all things he could relate to, and he was sure that every other driver could relate to it as well. it made him happy that there was someone out there, recognising the things they went through as sportsmen, or as a sportsperson.
excitedly, after the team celebrations, he ran to his drivers room, finding it full of flowers again, and he couldn't help but smile bigger than he already was.
it was just like miami, but this time, his girlfriend wasn't there with him. god, he missed her.
he video called her while he looked for the note, and just as he found it, her face filled his screen.
"lan!" she exclaimed, "you were so goddamn good! i'm so proud of you!"
"thank you, my lovie. hold on, i gotta read the card,"
"did you just get to the drivers room?"
lando nodded, as he flipped open the card.
it said, "hot damn, you were shining out there. some amaryllis for you to keep sparkling. i love you. y/n <3"
"y'know, this is my favourite part of getting on podiums now," lando said, as he pocketed the note.
"what? getting the flowers?" y/n joked.
"yes. getting the flowers from you." lando stared at her face on the screen, wishing he could kiss her in that moment.
"you're just saying that,"
"i'm really not," he settled on the floor, exhausted from the race, but he had a new found energy as he talked with his girlfriend. she was too excited to contain her reactions or yapping, and lando loved her more than anything to listen to every bit of it.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
italy p3 - lavender [calmness]
he didn't know what to feel. he was feeling a lot of things at the same time, and he didn't know which one to focus on first.
on one hand, he didn't blame oscar for wanting to prove himself to the world. he knew what it was like to enter the world of formula one with expectations on your shoulders that had no real reason being there. he knew that some of the fan comments had gotten to oscar, about how hungary was a gifted win and not earned on his own merit. he understood, really.
but that didn't mean that he was okay with the move he pulled on lando going into turn one. he had gotten way too close to lando's car, and if lando hadn't backed out even a little bit, the two would've crashed.
there was a championship fight on his shoulders, one that he didn't expect and didn't want. while he didn't want to win by his teammate letting him pass, he also did not expect his own teammate to pull a risky move like that.
the plan was a 1-2. they got a 2-3. it was a lot of points, but nearly not as much a 1-2 would have been.
really, lando would have been okay with only oscar had overtaken him. he would have been fine with that. what he wasn't okay with, was the fact that the move led to their competitor also overtaking them both.
that pissed him off a little bit.
he remained respectful in all the post race interviews, he praised his teammate, he did what was expected of him. he always did.
later, when he had a moment to himself in the drivers room, a knock interrupted him, and lando almost told the person to go away. he didn't want to deal with humans right now.
"lando? got something for you here," jon's voice rang.
sighing, lando stood up and opened the door. jon stood at the door, with a bouquet of lavenders in his hand.
"this got delivered for you. the delivery guy said that there was too much traffic on the way, so he couldn't get it on time, but here," jon gave the bouquet to lando before walking off.
lando stared at the flowers, as he closed the door and went back to his seat.
finding the folded note, it said, "lavenders for how calm you've been about it. good thing i wasn't there. i love oscar, i love you more. y/n <3"
lando smiled, and felt a little better. maybe a little more than just a little.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
singapore p1 - orange lilies [confidence]
lando was dizzy. singapore was always a difficult race physically, but it was always so fulfilling.
he led all 62 laps, created a 20 second gap. yes, he made some mistakes at a few places, but he was learning. lando was learning and he was proud of himself. he was so fucking proud of himself.
lando was thankful that max was here to watch him race. he needed that support. unfortunately, y/n couldn't be there, and as much as she tried to change her schedule to fit the race weekend, it just didn't work.
nevertheless, he'd spoken to her as soon as he got off the top step with his trophy in hand. how could he not?
later, when he found max, he laughed upon seeing his best friend. max fewtrell stood there with a bouquet of orange lilies in his hands, looking annoyed and endeared.
"mate, someone got me flowers but i have no idea who! pietra said it wasn't her!" max said, as soon as lando was close enough.
lando laughed, feeling a little bad as he was about break his best friend's heart, "max, they're not for you,"
"yes, they are! a random dude found me, asked if i was max fewtrell, and i said, yes, and he handed me this and walked off!"
"right. i love you, man, but did you see if there was a note by chance?"
max paused, before he checked the bouquet and found a folded note hidden.
lando wanted to tell him to hand it over. he didn't want anyone else to read what y/n had written for him, but he also knew that max wouldn't believe him unless he saw it with his own eyes.
"orange lilies because my god, you were so confident on track, im gonna jump you as soon as youre back. i love you. y/n." max read.
the two men paused, lando trying not to laugh as max stared at nothing for a few seconds.
and then, he pushed the bouquet against lando's chest and said, "i think these might be for you."
lando burst out laughing, as he accepted the bouquet.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
mexico p2 - yellow roses [friendship]
lando was so proud of carlos. his heart was bursting from the happiness he had for his friend.
it had been a shock at the start of the year when his friends had told him that carlos was no longer signed with ferrari. he hadn't been expecting it.
now, though, watching his friend win for what might be the last time for a while, because even though carlos fucking sainz is going to williams, their car isn't going to magically be one of the best next season. it's going to take time. but, williams now has carlos fucking sainz, so it might just happen sooner than they think.
the plan was that in the evening, the sainz family, and lando and luigi would go out for dinner, and then maybe hit a club after the older-older members of the family had gone back to the hotel.
for lando, all of them were old.
smiling wide, he stepped into his drivers room, ready to take a shower, and get ready for the evening dinner, when he saw the bouquet on the table.
yellow roses.
opening the card, it said, "for your carlando love. it might just be greater than landoy/n but i'm okay with that ;) give him a few of these from me, would you? i love you. y/n."
keeping the bouquet back carefully, he quickly got ready and removed a few of the flowers from the bouquet for carlos, before handing the actual bouquet to jon to keep at his hotel room safely.
later, carlos sent a picture to y/n, a selfie of carlos and lando, and the yellow roses between them.
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
abu dhabi p1 - nasturtium [victory]
she stood near the paddock, patiently waiting for lando, with a bouquet of nasturtiums in her hands. this one, she wanted to give in person.
she had taken a chance when ordering the flowers. sure, there was a chance that mclaren wouldn't have won the constructors, and while it was a small chance, she didn't want to jinx anything accidentally.
but lando had been confident, and y/n knew that if lando was feeling confident while being under so much pressure, there was nothing that could stop him from achieving his dream today.
y/n chatted with his mum and sister, all of three of them smiling so widely. the three women recounted specific parts of the races, every thought process that was going on during the race, the adrenaline, the anxiety, everything.
when lando finally found the three of them together, he hugged his mum first, and y/n smiled. she watched the sweet interaction between them, before he moved on to his sister, who joked with him but told him how proud she was.
finally, he turned to her, smiling so wide, eyes shining, and a relief in his shoulders. she pushed the flowers towards him, and said, "they're called nasturtium. for your victory, for your team's victory."
lando accepted the flowers, smiling softly as he looked at the bouquet. he took a step towards his girlfriend, wrapping his arms around her waist, as she wrapped hers around his neck. she could feel the bouquet against her back, and the two of them just seemed to just move side to side a little.
"thank you for being here," he whispered in her ear.
"where else would i be?" she whispered back.
he pressed a kiss against her neck, before he pulled back and kissed her once. just a little peck of i love you.
smiling, she slid her hand down to his heart, and said, "you did it."
he smiled, "we did it."
𐙚. ݁₊⋆❀˖°
"what are these?"
"petals,"
"i see that, lando. where are they from?"
"a petal from every flower you've gifted me this year,"
"you saved them?"
"of course."
𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊
fun fact: the spain gp on 2024 was on my birthday! anyways, i feel like this got a little repetitive, but like, if kando was real, i'd buy him flowers all the time! i probably have messed up somewhere with the details, but i'm too far gone to make edits. sorry 🤷‍♀️ lemme know what you think of it! this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)
taglist: @imlonelydontsendhelp ; @greantii ; @anamiad00msday ; @maketheshadowsfearyou ; @nocturnalherb16 ; @justaf1girl ; @peterholland04 ; @phobiccneel ; @winkev1 ; @alexxavicry
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daechwitatamic · 21 days ago
Text
Cinnamon || KMG
Tumblr media
banner by @sailorrhansol
Written for the Lonely Hearts Cafe Collab!
Cinnamon mingyu x fem!reader (nicknamed Sunny), reader x male oc for a while fluff smut angst best friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, idiots to lovers all apply NSFW - minors DNI
Summary: You finally decide to try and move on after years of waiting for Mingyu to return your feelings. But when you start bringing your new boyfriend around more often, things with Mingyu get... difficult.
WC: 19k
Warnings: language, recreational drinking and overdrinking, a brief mention of throwing up from a hangover, angst and hurt feelings, not miscommunication but definitely refusal to communicate, kissing (some with mg and some with a male oc), arguments, reader and mingyu are both imperfect people who make mistakes and do things wrong... theyre not bad or toxic people but their choices can be hurtful... theyre humans who mess up have to just do their best to do better going forward, quick and prosey smut scene with piv penetration
A/N: thank you to @sailorsoons and @eoieopda for beta-inggggg iluuuuu
--
December
“Good morning, Sunshine.”
You grumble in response, eyes still mostly closed, as you make your way by muscle memory to your apartment’s barely-functioning coffee machine. Only once you’ve poured a mug, stirred in everything you need to make it palatable, and taken your first sip, do you speak actual words.
“Morning. You’re up early.”
Jeonghan, one of your three roommates, nods solemnly. “I have a nine o’clock meeting today, but I need to get some files together first, so I’m trying to be there by eight,” he tells you. You glance at the clock on the microwave - it’s already 7:20.
“You might want to get moving,” you warn him.
He makes a face that says, I know, but - and cocks his head towards the bathroom the four of you share. The door is closed and the light inside is on, which means it must be occupied. It’s not usually a problem, even with four of you - your schedules are just different enough that it works out.
You frown. “Wonwoo isn’t gone yet?” He’s usually the first one out of the house on weekdays since he’s got the longest commute.
Jeonghan shakes his head, but then the light clicks off and the door opens. A girl you’ve never seen before steps out cautiously, then pauses when she sees the kitchen isn’t empty.
“Oh,” she breathes. “Hi. Good morning. I’ll just -”
She gives you each a polite nod and slips quickly back through the nearest door - Mingyu’s bedroom.
You face Jeonghan again and roll your eyes. He gives you a bit of a grimace and gets up, hurrying into the now-empty bathroom.
You take his seat at the table, sip slowly at your coffee. Having three guys as roommates means this happens with relative regularity, though usually the guys keep their conquests to weekends and holidays. Mingyu must have really liked this girl to bring her home on a weeknight. You glance back at his closed door; you can faintly hear their voices, but not what they’re saying. She was pretty.
You tuck away whatever feelings you might have about this, just like you always do, wipe your heart as clean as a classroom chalkboard at the beginning of a new day. Jeonghan vacates the bathroom, clearly in a hurry, and you take his place, turning the shower on and praying that there’ll be enough hot water left to get you through. (There’s not.)
Later, as you sit on the train amidst a sea of other morning commuters, you check your phone.
Roomies 💕
[8:07am] (jeong)Han Solo: i would like to issue a formal complaint
[8:07 am] wonuuu: i left plenty of coffee bro
[8:07am] (jeong)Han Solo: not that
[8:09am] Cinnamingyu: if this is a noise complaint… i’m sorry but also no i’m not
[8:09am] You: you’re disgusting
[8:09am] Cinnamingyu: you love me
[8:10am] You: 🙄
[8:10am] (jeong)Han Solo: so does the girl whose presence in our one (1) bathroom made me late this morning
[8:10am] (jeong)Han Solo: if i get fired you’re covering my part of the rent
[8:11am] Cinnamingyu: have fun defending that in small claims court
[8:11am] You: i am happy to be a witness on your behalf
[8:11am] Cinnamingyu: et tu brutus?
[8:11am] You: my shower was lukewarm at best
[8:12am] You: you will be hearing from my counsel
[8:12am] You: thanks in advance wonwoo
[8:14am] wonuuu: for the millionth time… I cannot be your counsel. I’m not qualified yet.
[8:14am] You: yet ☝️
[8:17am] Cinnamingyu: let’s not ignore the real problem here… we need another bathroom
[8:21am] (jeong)Han Solo: ok great, tell me when you win the lottery so we can move out
Chuckling, you slide your phone back into your coat pocket as the train pulls into your stop. You hurry through the train station, tucking your chin into your coat collar as you speed through the icy December morning. It’s one of those dry cold days, where the air around you feels frozen, almost hurts to breathe. Everything is grey - sky above you, buildings around you, ground below you. Fast steps take you the three blocks to your office building, where you sigh in relief as the heated air hits your face, chasing away the chill.
You check your phone again as you hang your coat on your chair in your cubicle. As usual, Mingyu has texted you privately, away from the group chat.
[8:31am] Cinnamingyu: sorry about the hot water :(
[8:38am] You: you should be. i shivered through my whole conditioning routine.
[8:38am] Cinnamingyu: poor sunny baby :( :( :( will you ever forgive me?
You roll your eyes, but you’re fighting a smile. You hate that Mingyu can just charm you right out of a mood, and you hate it even more than he knows it and weaponizes it. He’s the one who gave you the nickname Sunny (or Sunshine depending on how cranky you were at the given moment) back when you were a college freshman. Your other roommates picked it up, but Mingyu was the only one who ever turned Sunshine or Sunny into Sunny Baby.
It’s absolutely horrendous, unfathomable, deeply unfair that it works, that it makes you melt into goo when he uses it. Still, you try to hold strong.
[8:38am] You: don’t you Sunny Baby me Kim Mingyu, you have crimes to answer for!!!
[8:39am] Cinnamingyu: ill cook for you tonight as penance. and then maybe a movie?
You frown. You wish you could take him up on the offer. Mingyu’s a great cook. One of the many things you love about him.
[8:39am] You: rain check. i won’t be home for dinner
[8:39am] Cinnamingyu: what’s this? did you manage to bag a man????
[8:39am] You: i hate you so much
[8:39am] You: yes you absolute scrambled egg, i have a date
Mingyu sends you a gif of an old man suggestively wiggling his eyebrows, and you laugh out loud. Then you stash your phone behind your keyboard and get to work. But when you check it again a few hours later, after your first meeting of the day lets out, he’s texted you again.
[8:40am] Cinnamingyu: is it the same guy as last week? date number TWO?? 😮
[10:51am] You: yeeeeees 🤭
[10:51am] Cinnamingyu: wow, big moves for you. a second date! do we need to have The Talk?
[10:51am] You: blocked and reported
This is an ancient song and dance for you and Mingyu. When you’ve been friends as long as you have, some things just become routine. Like you, gracefully ignoring the handful of girls that you never see a second time. Like him, acting like it’s monumental when you actually give someone a chance.
He’s used to you giving no one a chance, ever. He knows it doesn’t happen much.
But you had a good first date with Daeyoung last week. A really good first date. You’d been texting a lot since then, too. He was funny - witty. And cute. So you’d thought to yourself… what the hell. Why not? Why not go out a second time? What else were you going to do tonight?
(Stay home and eat the food Mingyu cooks for you. Watch a movie together on the couch.)
And, sure, you do want to do those things. But going out with Daeyoung tonight won’t change a thing between you and Mingyu. He’ll grill you about it when you get home, maybe tease you a little, and you’ll do food and a movie another night.
Daeyoung takes you bowling. You weren’t sure how you’d feel about it, not having been in a bowling alley since you were a kid, and remembering them as vaguely sticky places. But it ends up being kind of cute, maybe even nostalgic. Daeyoung buys a pitcher of beer and sets it on your - yes - sticky table, and walks with you as you select a pink ball that is definitely meant for children. 
“You know that’s only six pounds, right?” he asks you, smiling playfully.
“Bold of you to think I could lift a heavier one,” you deadpan, and he laughs. You like his laugh - it’s easy, light, like he’s wholly uncomplicated. You could use some uncomplicated in your life. 
You're terrible at bowling - you score a 42 on your first game, the ball finding the gutter more times than it stays on the lane. Even so, you manage to have fun. Daeyoung doesn’t make you feel weird about it - in fact, he barely pays attention to the actual bowling. Instead he talks to you about your day, asks about your family, doesn't seem like he's freaked out that you live with three guy friends. He doesn’t even ask the very common, “so, has anything ever happened there?” for which you’re grateful. 
He’s got three sisters, you learn, and grew up with cats but still wants a dog someday. He graduated two years before you, has never traveled outside the country. 
You offer back your own resume of sorts - an older sister and a younger brother, no pets growing up and allergic to most mammals (perhaps humans included, as has been pointed out by Mingyu on many occasions, usually in the same conversation that he’s calling you Sunshine and pinching your cheeks like your attitude is cute). Graduated with Honors and haven’t traveled much either, though you’d love to when you have some money saved up.
Your phone lights up on the table every so often, and you check it while Daeyoung takes his turn on the lane. A few are Jeonghan and one of your co-workers, and one is your little brother asking how to get blood out of laundry which is super alarming - but the rest are from Mingyu.
[7:19pm] Cinnamingyu: just know that you are missing one of my best creations
[7:19pm] Cinnamingyu: but dont worry i will save you some ☺️ because i’m the best roommate ever
[7:31pm] You: thank youuuuu! I might not have any tonight but you know i’ll eat the leftovers!
[7:31pm] Cinnamingyu: hows the date?
[7:36pm] You: i am very bad at bowling actually!!!
[7:36pm] Cinnamingyu: aim for the pins
[7:43pm] You: have i mentioned that i hate you?
[7:43pm] Cinnamingyu: guess i’ll throw these leftovers out then
[8:12pm] Cinnamingyu: what time do you think youll be home?
[8:15pm] Cinnamingyu: sorry i didnt mean that like WHEN WILL YOU BE HOME YOUNG LADY
[8:15pm] Cinnamingyu: i was asking bc i was deciding if i want to start a movie or wait for you i wasnt trying to
[8:15pm] Cinnamingyu: you know
[8:15pm] Cinnamingyu: anyway. aim for the pins. wear protection. etc. see you later lol
[8:38pm] You: young lady 🙄 go away mingyu!!! 
[8:38pm] Cinnamingyu: you dont mean that
[8:38pm] You: i don’t 😘
[8:47pm] You: if you wanna save a movie for me… i should be home by 11
Daeyoung drives you home after the date, and you note that his car is clean, but not serial killer clean. A green flag. 
When he asks if he can see you again soon, as he's pulling the car up to your building, you tell him yes without hesitating. It’ll be your first third date in maybe ever, and you make a little note in your brain that you should probably talk to him about this, make sure he can be on the same page - that this is fun and you’ll keep going out as long as it’s a good time, but you aren’t really looking for serious.
When he pauses, leaning in a little closer, you feel yourself smile, and you let him. It’s a nice kiss.
He’s a nice guy.
There’s no reason you couldn’t follow through with this. There’s no giant problem with him, no personality quirk or inherent difference that makes him ineligible.
But. 
You push the thought away. “Thanks for tonight,” you tell him. “I had a good time.”
“You’d have a better time if you listened to my advice and used a heavier ball,” he says seriously, but there’s a twinkle in his eyes that tells you he’s teasing. “You can’t expect to knock down pins when they weigh more than what you’re throwing at them.”
“Sounds fake,” you joke, and hop out of the car. Before you shut the door, you pause. “See you next weekend?”
His smile unfurls, pleased. “Yeah,” he says. “I’ll text you.”
You practically skip back into the apartment. You pause at the closet by the front door, pulling off your boots and hanging up your puffy winter coat. You can hear the tv on in the living room and water running in the kitchen.
You step into the kitchen, heading for the fridge. Mingyu stands at the sink, his back to you, up to his elbow in suds. You bump him with your hips as you pass by, and he kicks at you and misses. You open the fridge and grab a can of seltzer. Mingyu smiles at you from the sink, and just like that, Daeyoung evaporates from your mind.
He calls you Sunny, but he’s the sun. Has been that way as long as you’ve known him - since undergrad. 
You’d met in your freshman year - he was puppy-dog cute, back then, not the chiseled sculpture of a man who takes up half your kitchen now. You’d been in the Arts and he’d been in the Sciences - something mathy - but you’d bonded in one of those godawful general requirement classes, and somehow the friendship had taken hold.
Mingyu holding your hand - metaphorically and literally - through your two required math classes and two required science labs was the only reason you’d even managed to graduate. Of course, you’d also written every single formal paper he had through the whole four years, so it evened out.
You complement each other that way, in every area. He’s outgoing and friendly, you’re cranky enough to be given the nickname Sunny in pure irony. Mingyu likes puzzles and problems he can work out, you like to turn the brain off for any and all hobbies. Mingyu is sunshine and big smiles, you are made of salt and sarcasm. 
But you love each other - have been best friends since almost the moment you met. There is nothing in your life you’d be willing to lose less than him.
You wander up to him and lean against his arm, mostly to be funny because he continues to wash dishes even as it jostles you around, and it becomes a little game of him trying to shake you off and you refusing to be shaken.
“How was your night?” he asks finally, reaching to turn off the water. You automatically pass him a dish towel to dry his hands. He takes it, drying, and then reaches around you to hang it back up near the oven. 
“Not as good as yours,” you snicker, noticing a purple blotch near his collar.
He flushes dark, slapping a hand over the spot. “Yah,” he complains. 
You laugh. “She was cute!”
“She’d be cuter if she spent less time in our bathroom!” Jeonghan’s disembodied voice floats from the living room.
“Alright, we get it!” Mingyu calls back hotly. “You’ve only been complaining about that for fifteen hours!”
Cackling, you follow him out into the living room. Jeonghan is sprawled sideways on the two-seater, a show you don’t recognize playing across the tv screen. Down the hallway, Wonwoo’s door is open about a foot, casting the hallway in flickering blue light that tells you he’s gaming and you probably won’t see him for the rest of the night. 
“So,” Jeonghan says dryly, without peeling his eyes from the tv, “I noticed your boyfriend’s car idling outside for quite a while before you came in. Were we necking?”
“Necking?” you splutter. Beside you, Mingyu is biting on his lips, trying not to laugh at your expense. “What year is this, 1950? And he’s not my boyfriend. You know that.”
You can’t help the defensive edge that creeps into your voice. From where he’s plopped on the couch, Mingyu reaches up for your hand, tugging. You let him pull you into the space next to him and he rubs a soothing hand across your shoulders before taking his hand away. It’s a silent, quick moment - easy to miss if you aren’t looking. But you are looking, always, and you wonder if he even knows he does this - reads your moods, rushes to fix you. 
Unbothered by your ruffled feathers, Jeonghan asks lightly, “So, are you seeing him again, or…?”
The bastard hasn’t even looked away from the television screen.
“You’re such an ass sometimes,” you grumble at him.
Now he looks over at you, smiling beatifically, innocently. “There’s my Sunshine.”
“Fuck off.”
“Well?” Mingyu asks from next to you, eyebrows raised. “Are you?”
“Yeah,” you say, trying to sound casual. You can tell the jackals are in a mood tonight.
Jeonghan’s face splits into a delighted grin. “A third date? My goodness.”
“We all know what happens on a third date,” Mingyu says sagely, and you punch him in the thigh, extra hard since you can only reach him and not Jeonghan too.
Wonwoo’s voice comes from down the hallway. “Leave Sunny alone, you guys.”
“Yeah,” you grumble. “Leave Sunny alone.”
Mingyu stretches over your lap to reach for the remote. It brings his torso almost flush against yours and you feel your face heat. 
“I was watching that,” Jeonghan complains before Mingyu even presses anything.
“Sunny and I are watching a movie,” Mingyu says flatly. “Go watch on your laptop if you care so much.”
Jeonghan reaches towards your couch lazily and slaps at the air like he can’t be assed to work any harder to hit his roommate. “You’re cranky today,” he observes, the arm not trying (sort of) to slap Mingyu’s leg folded behind his head. “Why might that be?”
Mingyu doesn’t answer him, just settles back next to you, his arm against yours, and starts scrolling through movie options.
He still hasn’t picked one when Wonwoo appears in the living room’s doorway, leaning against the wooden frame, his LED headset looped around his neck and his eyes on his phone.
“What are we watching?” he asks absently.
“Nothing, apparently,” Jeonghan quips.
Beside you, Mingyu growls a little.
Unphased - this is so normal for them, it would be more alarming if they weren’t pissing each other off - you look up and Wonwoo and say, “I didn’t think you’d emerge tonight.”
“I’m heading right back in,” he admits. “Hydration break. Anyway - question. What’s everyone’s plans for the holidays?”
Mingyu stops scrolling, pausing to think. 
“I’ll be home,” Jeonghan says, meaning his hometown.
“Me, too,” Mingyu adds. “I’m leaving on Sunday. Next Sunday, I mean.”
Wonwoo lets out a little sigh. “Okay. My folks were asking when I was coming. Sunny, you’re going home, too?”
“Uh, no, actually,” you admit. “I was staying here.”
You feel rather than see your friends share a glance. 
“I can stay, then,” Wonwoo says, a bit tightly - you can tell that wasn’t the plan. “So you aren’t alone.”
“No,” you protest. “I’m perfectly fine being here by myself, you know that.”
“Sunny Baby is an indoor cat,” Mingyu notes, and you bump him with your elbow. 
“It’s fine,” you insist. “Plus, I think Daeyoung will be around, so I won’t be alone the whole time anyway.”
Mingyu’s eyes bore into the side of your face, but you don’t look at him; if it’s pity he’s leveling at you, you don’t want it. 
“If you’re sure,” Wonwoo says, and when you assure him you do, he vanishes into the kitchen and then back into his room. Mingyu clicks on a movie and you settle in, eventually getting sleepy and shifting sideways, your head resting comfortably on his unfairly sculpted shoulder. He shifts to let you get more comfortable, and the night passes as simply and pleasantly as hundreds before.
When the movie ends, you pick up the bottles and cans from the coffee table while Mingyu does a quick lap of the apartment, turning off lights and making sure doors are locked. You meet outside the bathroom - occupied by Jeonghan - both waiting your turn to brush your teeth and whatever else before bed. 
“Sunny Baby,” Mingyu says softly, something tentative in his voice, and you look up at him, heart suddenly thumping. He’s looking at you earnestly in the dim light from the bedrooms down the hall, something you’re not sure you can name on his face. It’s almost pleading, but that doesn’t make sense. “Are you sure you don’t want to come home with me for the holidays? My family would love to have you - they’re obsessed with you, you know that.”
Your heart calms. “It’s really okay,” you promise. “But thanks for checking.”
The bathroom door opens and Jeonghan slips by, leaving a wave of toothpaste-mint in his wake. 
“You go ahead,” Mingyu says.
“You were in line first,” you argue.
He rolls his eyes but knows how stubborn you are, so he disappears into the bathroom. You lean your butt against the kitchen table and check your phone for the first time in a while.
Daeyoung had texted shortly after he drove away - probably as soon as he got home.
[11:24pm] Daeyoung: I had a really good time tonight. Looking forward to next week :]
[12:51am] You: me too ☺️
The bathroom door opens and you turn off your phone screen with a click, bidding Mingyu goodnight as you slide into the bathroom’s light.
January 
New Year’s Eve
Roomies 💕
[11:13pm] (jeong)Han Solo: sunny where’d you end up tonight?
[11:13pm] You: i’m with the girliesss!!! where are you guys
[11:13pm] Cinnamingyu: sunnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy baby baby baby
[11:13pm] You: yyyeeesssss??
[11:14pm] (jeong)Han Solo: we’re downtown. mingyu cant come to the phone right now but i think he wants you to come hang out with us
[11:14pm] You: lmao nooooo he didnt even make it to midnight??? thats sad, kim mingyu
[11:16pm] Wonuuu: u ever think about that phrase “can’t come to the phone”… from an era in which you had to walk to the family’s landline phone in the kitchen or whatever��� none of us were even alive for that
[11:16pm] You: wow apparently you guys are having a much better time than me
[11:16pm] (jeong)Han Solo: only wonwoo lol ok be safe and have fun!! see you at home
[11:14pm] Cinnamingyu: come out!!
[11:14pm] You: i am out! Lol
[11:15am] Cinnamingyu: you know what i mean
[11:16am] You: im sorry :( but we’re across town and by the time we got there we’d miss the countdown
[11:16am] Cinnamingyu: ok 🙁
[11:16am] You: don’t pout!!! i’ll see you at home tomorrow and we can hang out all day
[11:16am] Cinnamingyu: not the same!
[11:17am] You: ok lets take a shot together!!
[11:17am] Cinnamingyu: ???
[11:17am] You: go order one and tell me when you’re ready!!
[11:18am] Cinnamingyu: lmao on it 🫡
[11:28am] Cinnamingyu: ok im ready
[11:28am] You: ok when you get this count to three and take your shot! 
[11:29am] You: geonbae or cheers or salute or whatever
[11:29am] Cinnamingyu: or whatever 🙄 
[11:29am] You: 😘
New Year’s Day
Roomies 💕
[12:00am] You: HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVES OF MY LIFE LET THIS BE THE BESTEWT YEAR FOR US EVER EVER EVR!!!!!
[12:00am] Wonuuu: happy new year sunny 🙂
[12:00am] (jeong)Han Solo: happy new yearrr 😽
[4:09am] You: home safe ♥️ 
[10:33am] Wonuuu: i’ll be home tomorrow sunny
[12:42pm] (jeong)Han Solo: i’ll be back tonight but probably not until after dinner
[12:42pm] You: ok! i’ll be here
[3:17pm] (jeong)Han Solo: is mingyu alive???
[3:17pm] You: lol yeah he’s home. he’s just… not in the best shape asfjkasfhaio
[12:00am] Cinnamingyu: happy new year sunny baby 🩷
[12:01am] You: happy new year best friend!!!!!!! ily ily ily!!!!
[12:32am] Cinnamingyu: you kno you could still meet us out nw
[11:23am] Cinnamingyu: can u open the front door… my head hurts too bad to make the keys work
You stagger to the apartment’s front door, eyes squinting against the harsh daylight streaming into the living room and kitchen area. When you unlock and pull open the door, Mingyu almost collapses on top of you.
“Get up,” you groan, shuffling backwards. “You’re too heavy, I can’t hold you!”
“Shhhh,” he whispers, but rights himself to standing. 
You stand there for a minute, both of you just grappling with the horrible reality of being awake and upright and, god, very hungover.
“I need to lay down,” Mingyu says finally, very clearly, like he’s had a sudden burst of self-preservation.
“Come on,” you wave at him vaguely and make your way back to bed. You collapse right into the spot you’d vacated when he texted, pulling the blankets up to your ears and closing your eyes, waiting for the bed to dip beside you. 
It doesn’t.
You open your eyes again. “Mingyu?”
He appears wordlessly in your doorway, then makes his way over to his side of the bed. The empty side of your bed. Not his. You have to stop thinking that way.
You’re puzzled, but then he leans over and presses a cold water bottle into your hand. Despite his whining, he was still trying to take care of you. 
“Did you take any pain killer?” you mumble. 
“Probably more than was actually advisable,” he admits, twisting his own water open and drinking noisily. You don’t see a problem with this - Mingyu is gigantic, and you can imagine his dosing needs would reflect it.
“Okay,” you say with a little sigh. “We’ll sleep for a while and then maybe we can try to eat.”
“God, don’t talk about food,” he moans, taking one of your extra pillows and covering his face.
You chuckle lightly, and then roll to hide your face somewhere near his bicep, breathing in his familiar cinnamon scent and matching your breaths to his until you slip back under. The millionth time you’ve fallen asleep next to your best friend, and you’re already eagerly looking ahead to a million and one.
You’re awakened by the sound of someone retching in the bathroom, clear on the other side of the apartment. You scrabble for and glance at your phone - hours have passed. The light in your bedroom has slipped closer to golden as mid-afternoon begins to wane. You sit up tentatively; this time there’s no wave of dizziness as a punishment for being vertical, though your head still pounds. 
You drink some of the water Mingyu brought you, answer a text from Jeonghan, then decide to go make sure Mingyu’s alive.
“You need anything?” you call through the door. You can hear the sink run, and the door opens. 
“A lobotomy,” he deadpans. He looks miserable, frown pronounced and eyes puffy. 
“Get back in bed,” you tell him gently, and he ambles off towards your room. You detour into the kitchen and start a pot of coffee. It might not save him, but you could use some caffeine. 
While it brews, you poke your head into your bedroom. Mingyu is back in your bed, curled up pitifully, that pouting frown still prevalent on his face. 
“What time did you take something?” you ask him.
“Like ten thirty,” he mumbles into your pillow. 
You glance at the clock. “You can have more,” you tell him, and head back across the apartment to pilfer through the medicine cabinet. 
With the pill bottle in hand, you stop in the kitchen long enough to pour yourself a cup of coffee. Carefully balancing so as not to spill, you bring it into the bedroom, placing it carefully on your nightstand and then nudging Mingyu’s shoulder. 
He whines a response. 
“I have drugs for you,” you tell him, and he holds up an open palm without lifting his face.  
You drop the medicine into his hand and get comfy back in your spot, even though you think you’re done sleeping for now. Beside you, Mingyu takes the pills and settles back into sleep. He’s snoring before you can even choose a show to watch on your phone. 
You look over at him fondly, disaster that he is. Then you settle in deeper, content to let his warmth radiate over to you, content to be by his side.
[12:02am] Daeyoung: happy new year! wishing you luck and happiness ☺️
[4:23pm] You: thank you!!! to you as well!!
February
Valentine’s Day is an emotional minefield. You don’t know if you want to lean into the bitter and single thing, or if you want to go all Gal-entines and pamper your friends, or if you want to just keep your head down and treat the day like any other fuck-ass Tuesday in winter.
The universe surprises you with a secret fourth option. Or, rather, Daeyoung does. 
You’ve lost track counting your dates with him at this point - you are simply dating. Neither of you has pushed for a what is this conversation, and you’re relieved. You like Daeyoung, you like the time you spend together, and you’d be sad if things ended. But at the same time, you don’t feel things getting deeper, and if he pushed you to make this serious, to put parameters on it, you’re not sure how you’d feel. 
Something inside you keeps it light - enough so that you don’t even think of doing anything for him to celebrate the holiday.
Apparently, you’re an asshole. 
Sometime after ten, your office’s secretary calls you, asking you to come up to reception for a minute. You’re suspicious, but you don’t do the mental math about what day it is until you turn the corner and see the small vase of roses - three of them, arranged with some baby’s breath and a few other fillers you can’t name - sitting on the reception counter.
“These got delivered for you,” she tells you, and it’s clear on her face that she’s dying for you to spill. “Are they from that guy? The tall one who looks like a movie star?”
This would annoy you if you weren’t so used to it. Everyone asks you if you’re with Mingyu - they never understand why you’re not when you two are attached at the hip.
It had happened once - just a kiss at a frat party, in the middle of the dance floor. You’d both been drinking, of course, and pressed close together to dance, his chest against your back and his hands on your hips and then you’d turned and tipped your chin up and his sparkling eyes had gone molten before he’d kissed you and your whole world had been swept away -
And you’d been interrupted, had been literally pulled away to deal with some drama happening in the kitchen, and somehow… you’d never talked about it. It never happened again.
Sometimes, you wonder if you only dreamed it. It wouldn’t surprise you.
But, no. Your imagination is good, but it’s not good enough to come up with the minute details of how his pecs had felt under your hands, how his fingers had felt pressed into the small of your back, how he had almost sighed into your mouth when it opened for him, how he had tasted a bit like cinnamon, courtesy of the fireball shots the frat was giving out like candy.
Anyway. Life goes on, right?
“No,” you tell the secretary quickly, because you know the roses aren’t from Mingyu. Even if he’d done something today, as your friend, he knows you aren’t much of a roses girl. “We’re just friends.” You will the words to leave your mouth without leaving ashes in their wake.
You reach for the small card tied around the thinnest part of the vase to see who did send them. 
Thought you deserved something pretty today. Don’t freak out. :] - Daeyoung
The secretary is still watching you, harmlessly curious. 
“It’s just a guy I’ve been seeing,” you say. “It’s not serious.”
“Wow,” she says, eyeing the simple arrangement. “Looks like he thinks it’s a little serious - or that it could be.”
“That’s probably true,” you muse out loud, taking the arrangement back to your own cubicle and setting it on your desk. You snap a photo and text it to Daeyoung with a thank you and a row of sobbing emojis. Then you stand behind your chair, eyes on the red petals, your hand pressed to your mouth, processing.
You didn’t expect to feel like this. A fluttering, a rush of excitement. Even though you aren’t into roses, specifically, the thought is very nice. And no one has thought of you, not like this, in a very long time. 
When you get home, the apartment is dark and empty. You wonder if any of the guys have dates tonight, or if they’re working late, or with family. You set the roses on the kitchen table, hang up your coat, and then shoot the grouptext a quick “where is everyone?”. Then you head into your room, eager to take a quick shower and change into something comfy.
You freeze when you flick on your bedroom light.
The clutter on your small desk has been pushed to the side, and a clear vase holds a thick bouquet of sunflowers - your favorite. 
You hear yourself gasp, the sound echoing through your head on a loop as you stare at the bright, yellow blooms. You step forward on shaky legs, reaching for the tiny card that’s slipped under the vase.
Sunny flowers for Sunny Baby. Love you. - M
The tears come with such unexpected force that you almost laugh through the third sob. You can barely see through the sudden stream of tears, can hear yourself struggling to inhale. You hurry to shut your bedroom door, locking it for good measure, and then those shaking legs of yours give up, and you sink to your knees and weep into your hands, trying to muffle the sounds, just in case anyone comes home.
You cry so hard it makes your abs hurt, makes the muscles in your face feel stretched, nearly makes you gag. You haven’t cried like this since undergrad.
Because he loves you, but he doesn’t love you, and even though you’ve been pretending for so long it’s as unconscious as breathing, it doesn’t shatter you any less. 
Because he’s perfect, and he’s yours, but somehow you still don’t have him, and in the meantime no one else will ever be enough -  just for not being him.
Because being thought of earlier by Daeyoung was nice, but it is so much better to be known, like this. Mingyu knows you don’t like roses. Mingyu knows your favorites. Mingyu knows you. 
And it’s a waste. It’s all for fucking nothing.
When the tears start to settle and you can breathe a little better, you push yourself back to your feet. You listen at your bedroom door and don’t hear anyone, so you hurry across the apartment and into the bathroom, where you blow your nose and splash your face with cold water. 
When you come out again, Jeonghan is in the kitchen.
“Hey,” he says, his back to you. When he turns, he freezes, his face dropping. You must be puffy and red, still.
“Hey,” you reply meekly. 
“Oh, Sunny,” he says mournfully, stepping closer. “I told him he shouldn’t, but he asked why not, he’s your friend, and I couldn’t say -”
You let out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah,” you mutter. “It’s fine. It’ll be fine.”
He watches you carefully, probably trying to gauge if you’re lying. Then he spots the roses and lights up. 
“Well, well,” he says, a sly smile showing up on his face. “Those are nice.”
“Yeah,” you say again, the only word in your arsenal. “They are. I, um, I think I’m gonna shower. Do you need the bathroom first?” 
Under the spray of hot water, you cry a little more, like an aftershock hit you. It’s quiet this time, and you try to shoulder through it as you condition your hair, ready to put this whole episode behind you once you step out into the chilly bathroom air again.
When you emerge, Jeonghan is on the couch. By the sounds coming from down the hallway, Wonwoo has just gotten home and is dumping the contents of his life onto his bedroom floor. Jeonghan opens his mouth to say something, but you lift a fluffy-bathrobe-clad arm and silently shush him. 
“It’s fine,” you say again, firmly. 
Jeonghan had been your friend first, back in undergrad. You’d brought him into the friend group the same way Mingyu had brought Wonwoo. The four of you had worked cohesively as a friend-and-roommate unit for a long time, but sometimes those old alliances seemed to matter more than others. Jeonghan would never cross the line without your permission, would never tell your secrets if you weren’t willing to tell them yourself. Wonwoo, on the other hand, was much more likely to open his mouth - especially if he thought he was helping. 
The front door bursts open, and Mingyu enters the apartment in a cacophony of noise and dropped items, oranges spilling from the bag in his arms and rolling across the floor. You move to pick a few up as he puts the bag of groceries down and pulls his boots off.
“Sunny!” he says, all excitement, eyes shining. “Did you like my gift?”
You can’t even look at Jeonghan, turning your back to him completely as you hold out the oranges you’d collected. Mingyu takes them, but watches you eagerly, waiting for your answer.
“Yeah,” you say honestly. “I loved it.”
His smile triples.
You were wrong when you said Mingyu was the sun. Mingyu is an avalanche. Rushing, rolling, thundering over and through you until there’s nothing left but a glinting field of ice and silence. Nothing else matters - nothing else exists - in his wake.
“You better watch out, Mingyu,” Jeonghan says from the couch, and your blood runs as cold as that field of ice, because you know he’s about to start some shit. “Sunny got flowers from her lover today. That guy’s coming for your woman.”
You’re opening your mouth to reprimand him - tell him to shut up, or something - but Mingyu beats you to it.
“Sunny’s not mine,” he says simply. 
All that ice evaporates in an instant like it was never there.
“My lover,” you echo with a frown, when you can speak again. “Don’t say it like that, you weirdo.”
“Well, isn’t he?” Jeonghan asks innocently.
You head for your bedroom with a roll of your eyes. “Goodnight, Jeonghan.”
“That means yes,” he sing-songs, and you slam your door shut.
Wonwoo’s voice floats through the door. “Who pissed off Sunshine?”
Mingyu’s grumble responds, “Who do you think?”
You and Mingyu lay side by side in the grass, a late spring night unspooling with cricket song and a smattering of flickering stars above you. His arm touches yours and you can feel his chest shift as he breathes deeply.
You feel content - you feel infinite - you feel like one of those blinking stars. You feel like you could lay here next to him in silence and be happy until your light goes out, just like theirs. 
“Mingyu,” you say, turning to look at him. The grass tickles your cheek. 
He turns to look at you, too. It’s dark, here behind the university’s main hub, most of the lights on the far side of the building. Still, there’s enough light to see his eyes, steady on you, his gaze serious.
“Sunny Baby,” he responds, voice low, like he’s telling you a secret. “I love you.”
You startle awake, heart pounding, and you’re immediately furious. 
“Fuck,” you hiss, punching your mattress once. 
The pathetic truth is you dream about that night in undergrad all the time - you and Mingyu on one of the last nights before summer break, leaving a party together and laying in the grass behind the advising department building watching the constellations rotate above you. 
The pathetic truth is the dream never follows the script, always turning the scene sideways, making it something different than what it was.
The pathetic truth is that Mingyu had been blacked out, more fucked up than you’d ever seen him, and you’d laid in the grass because you physically couldn’t keep him upright any further than that and you’d had to text Wonwoo to come help you. 
You hadn’t said anything to Mingyu - at least not something meaningful. You might have said please don’t puke on me, or god, you weigh a ton, or how many jaeger bombs did you do? 
He had said he loved you - had slurred it, eyes closed. 
You had laughed, even though it had sent a dagger through your chest. “Okay, Romeo,” you’d teased, and checked your phone to see if Wonwoo was on his way to help. 
“I do,” he’d insisted, one hand patting the grass next to him like he was trying to find you. “Sunny, I love you.”
You didn’t know how he meant it - still don’t know, to this day, because you don’t think he even remembered saying it and you’d been too afraid to bring it up.
What were you supposed to say? Hey, when you were blacked out last night, you said you love me… do you mean like… platonically… or…? 
God. The idea of it is just as humiliating now, years later, as it had been in the weeks that followed that night. And though he’s said it regularly since then - like on this fucking card with the sunflowers - he never said it like that, and you never pushed it. 
Now, awake and furious and sad at three in the morning, you grab your phone and climb out of bed. 
You know you shouldn’t. You know it’s only making this worse for you. But you make your way on light steps through the dark and silent apartment to Mingyu’s door and push it open.
Is it mithridatism, this thing you do? Microdosing on the poison so that a full dose won’t kill you? No, that isn’t right. A full dose of Mingyu wouldn’t kill you. It’s an absence of Mingyu that you need protected from.
You climb into his bed and poke at his calves with your toes until he grunts as he wakes. Then, as he gathers his senses, he rolls to look at you over his shoulder.
“Bad dream?” he asks, voice kind of breathy with sleep.
“Mhm.”
He rolls the rest of the way, lifts his arm so you can scoot a little closer. You breathe easier immediately. It makes no sense that the thing that hurts you is also the only thing that makes you feel better. 
“Won’t your lover object to you getting in bed with me?” he asks, and you can hear the edge in his voice as clear as day.
You let out a single, wry ha. He’s got a point, but Daeyoung isn’t your boyfriend, you aren’t exclusive, and what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him.
“Nah,” you say easily. “I’m not his.”
-
March
March can’t make up its mind if it’s winter or spring. Warm days lull you into a false sense of security, and then a blistering cold rushes in just to call you a fool.
You’re the last one to get to the bar on Friday night after work, and you have to stand awkwardly next to the booth the guys have staked out and unwrap yourself - hat, scarf, gloves, puffer coat, big heavy sweater - before you can actually slide into the empty spot next to Mingyu.
“Hi bestie,” he says, immediately draping his arm behind your shoulders, resting on the back of the wooden bench. “How was your day?”
“Fuck Marcus in Accounting,” you answer.
“Fuck Marcus in Accounting,” your roommates all answer solemnly, because this is a common gripe. 
“Fireball and ginger ale it is, then,” Mingyu says, and climbs over you to head to the bar, his own empty beer glass in hand. When he slides the cocktail glass in front of you and scoots back to his original spot, you fill the guys in on Marcus’s Bullshit of the Day. 
“And then,” you finish the story, “I was like yeah, I know you did, Marcus, because she blind-copied me on her reply and you should have seen the color his face turned so I think it’s fair to say I won this round.”
“I’m surprised they aren’t all scared of you,” Wonwoo remarks. 
“Marcus is,” you say, glowering at your now-empty cocktail glass. “That’s why he’s such a dick. He hates that he’s intimidated.”
Mingyu’s arm has slid down from the back of the bench and rests lightly across your shoulder by this point, and he gives you a playful squeeze into his side as he laughs. 
He starts telling a story next, and you listen as you slip your phone out and check your texts. Daeyoung had texted you a while ago, and you shoot him a quick answer that you’re out with your roommates for Friday drinks, and then dial back into the conversation. 
When Mingyu’s glass is empty again, you rise, taking the empties up to the bar and signalling for another of each. While you wait, elbows on the bar, you check your phone again. Daeyoung had texted back, asking where you guys were drinking.
You hesitate. The idea of incorporating Daeyoung into the group makes you nervous. Behind you, you can hear Mingyu yapping a thousand miles a minute, and Jeonghan’s distinctive heh heh heh in answer. It’s not that you don’t think the guys will be nice… it just feels like a big move. 
It might be nice to have him there, though - someone on your side when Jeonghan and Mingyu gang up on you and Wonwoo is too in his own world to be effective back-up, someone to hold your hand and get your drinks, someone to be in your own private little bubble with when the conversation ebbs and flows away from topics you can engage with. 
You send him back “just a little place by the apartment!” which is technically true, and then grab the refreshed drinks for you and Mingyu. 
The guys are getting up, making noise about a just-vacated darts board, so you swivel and turn to follow them, a cold drink in each hand.
“Sunny Baby,” Mingyu tells you, half an hour later, bending down low so he can talk close to your ear over the loud music, “you have to put more muscle into it. You have to throw it like you want to pierce it.”
“I don’t think it’s that serious, actually!” you tell him cheerfully, and down the rest of your drink, pushing the empty glass into his giant hand. His turn. 
He shoots you a grin so sharp and devilish that it makes your whole body fight a shudder, and then he disappears off to the bar. 
You heckle Jeonghan through his turn (unsuccessfully - he’s way better at this than you) and then glance at the bar to see if the bartenders have gotten to Mingyu yet in the crowd. He’s facing you, his arms crossed, that same devilish smile on his face. He leans sideways on the bar, where your drink and his own beer sit sweating, forgotten. 
The girl he’s smiling at has her back to you, which is a miracle, because if she’d been able to see your face fall, she probably would have back-pedaled out of the conversation immediately - it would be impossible for her not to see that she was walking into a flashing neon sign screaming this situation is a mess!!!!
When she laughs, throwing her head back, and reaches a hand out to touch his forearm, you feel the whole bar swoop sideways around you. You’re fumbling for your phone, even as you hear Mingyu’s answering laugh cut through all the loud music and conversations filling the space, even as you watch through your periphery as he gives her a return nudge to the shoulder, playful, that smile only growing.
You’re going to be sick.
You shoot Daeyoung a text - sorry, I should have told you which bar. I’m leaving now though. Do you want to come get me? We could chill for a little? - and then you push your way through the bar, not even bothering to tell Jeonghan and Wonwoo goodbye. You make an extra effort to skirt the opposite wall as the bar, hoping you get out without Mingyu spotting you. 
There’s no way you could fake it right now. Zero chance. If he came after you, it would all be out in the open.
Daeyoung answers you almost immediately - no worries! sure, send me your location. you want to hang at my place? 
Outside, the cold air assaults you. You immediately hesitate, wishing you’d grabbed your coat. You’ll get pneumonia waiting for Daeyoung without it.
You’re saved the trouble of going back in - the door opens and someone comes out after you. But it isn’t Mingyu - it’s Jeonghan, giving you the heaviest side-eye you’ve ever seen from him, your coat in his hands.
“Thank you,” you breathe when he’s close enough, taking the coat and sliding it over your arms. “It’s freezing.”
“Sunny,” he says, and something in his voice makes you pause. “I think we should talk.”
You cover your face with one hand, embarrassed and spent and tired. “About what?” you ask flatly, just to buy yourself a second. You know the answer. Of course you do.
He levels you with a look. “This can’t continue,” he says firmly. “For you, or for him, or for me and Wonwoo.”
You scoff. “What do you two have to do with it?” 
You’ve never seen him this serious, and it scares you a little. “Do you think it’s easy for me to watch you get hurt?”
You lower your gaze to the ground and don’t answer this; it feels rhetorical. 
“But you’re right - it’s not about us. It’s about you. Something has to give,” he says gently. “Either face it and get your answer, or let it go.”
“It’s not that simple,” you argue.
“Yes, it is that simple,” he retorts. “It’s just scary. But that’s not the same thing.”
“I can’t tell him,” you say, because it’s true. You can’t. You can’t. “What if it messed up everything for all of us?”
What if you lost him completely? What if he moved out? What if he stopped talking to you? 
Jeonghan doesn’t reply to this at first, he just watches you carefully, then tucks a long strand of dark hair behind his ear. 
“You can,” he says finally, still gentle. “But… if you won’t… then you have to let him go.”
Your stomach drops at the words, even though this is a truth you’ve been aware of for ages, have been doing your best to avoid. 
“I don’t know how to do that,” you whisper. And it’s true - loving Mingyu feels as instinctual as your heartbeat, intrinsically part of who you are. How can you separate it out, shut it down? 
“Stop sharing a bed with him,” Jeonghan suggests, and it’s so simple and straight-forward and correct that you can’t think of a single argument. “Quit texting him but ignoring everyone else. Stop cuddling with him on the couch after work. Quit-”
“Alright, I get it,” you snap, the defensiveness rising up again like muddy waters. 
“I’m not sure you do,” he says, and the gentleness is gone from his tone; you’ve moved into the Tough Love section of the lecture, apparently. “You can’t keep playing house with him, pretending you’re together, and then falling apart every time he makes it clear that it isn’t real. You’ll never feel better like this. It will never change, Sunny. You’ll be like this, forever. Is that what you want?”
Your throat is tight and sharp, and you blink quickly, eyes on the ground again.
“I’m sorry,” he says, and he says it like he aches. Maybe he means it. “You could talk to him, you could at least see what he says -”
“No,” you interrupt. “No. I can’t do that.”
He shrugs, big and exaggerated. “Then move on. There are other people in the world who’d be happy to love you the right way. You can’t give any of them a proper chance if you’re holding it against them that they aren’t Mingyu.”
Like the one you ignored all night, who is still on his way to pick your ass up right now… 
You push your hands against your eyes like you can block out the truth of what he’s saying, but you don’t say anything.
Jeonghan reaches out and rubs your shoulder. “I’m gonna go back in,” he says, gentle again. “It’s freezing out here. Just… think about it.”
“I’m thinking,” you say dryly. 
He nods, then disappears back into the bar, the wave of sound crashing and fading as the door opens and closes. 
You stay outside and wait for Daeyoung’s car, your hands going numb from the cold. You run the whole thing over and over in your head, replay Jeonghan’s words, daydream a hundred conversations with Mingyu each with different endings. 
You think maybe you should take Jeonghan’s advice - put some physical distance between you and Mingyu, just as a starting point. 
You hate the idea of it. But you know he’s right.
When Daeyoung pulls up, you slide into the passenger seat and tell him thank you, leaning over to kiss his cheek. He smiles at you, all sweet, and then whisks you away. Halfway to his place, he glances over at you.
“You’re quiet tonight,” he observes. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” you lie, and then instantly feel bad for it. “Just… argued with my roommate. I’m kind of cranky.”
He reaches out and squeezes your knee once, reassuringly. “Well, you’re welcome to stay with me,” he says, and when you whip around to look at him, he laughs. “I wasn’t being presumptuous. I just meant if you needed some space from them, you’re welcome. That’s all.”
“Yeah, okay,” you repeat, settling back against the seat. “We’ll see.”
You keep your eyes on the window for the rest of the drive. 
You wonder if Mingyu brought that girl home, and then you shove that thought away, because you’re letting him go, starting tonight, and those thoughts aren’t going to serve you anymore.
And then you wonder the same thing again five minutes later.
April 
Winter softens, the temperature sturdies itself, and the season forms solidly into rain-logged spring. 
“Sunny Baby,” Mingyu sings. Even on the greyest, soggiest days you turn to him like a plant turns to sun. “I’m bored.”
“That sounds like a personal problem,” you quip. 
He drapes himself over you in retaliation, long arms and legs hanging heavy towards the floor as his torso smothers your face, drowning in you in his cinnamon-tinged scent.
You protest wordlessly and shove at him, and he laughs, his abs working near your chest with the motion.
“Entertain me,” he whines.
Things have been different - weird different, sometimes even bad different - for a few weeks now, all because of Jeonghan. You choose to blame him, anyway. 
What he said to you plays in your head on loop all day every day, and suddenly you don’t know how to act right with Mingyu, causing you to overcorrect and swerve wildly. Sometimes you’re spending the entire day with him, touching and talking and leaning into it - then you think about it too hard and you spend the next two days icing him out. 
It’s confusing for both of you. You can tell he notices, can tell he’s baffled by the change. More than once you’ve caught him looking at you like you’re a problem to solve - that face he makes when something isn’t working, or he’s got an equation of some sort to work out. But he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t make you feel bad about it, doesn’t confront you, just takes what you’ll give him with a smile.
You haven’t gone to his room in the middle of the night since your talk with Jeonghan, either. It feels like quitting something. The withdrawal eats at your nerves, the cravings taking over until you can’t focus on anything else. More than one night since then you’ve laid awake, staring at your ceiling, heart pounding as you argue with yourself - just go, you’ll sleep and you’ll feel better waging war against Jeonghan’s you can’t keep pretending you’re together and then falling apart when he makes it clear that it isn’t real. 
Each time, you’d ended up staying in your own bed. Jeonghan is right. You knew it when he said it, and you know it now. You have to let go if you’re ever going to be happy. You can’t keep living in the shadows of Mingyu’s life, waiting for him to come give you just a slice of himself and pretending to be sated by it.
“I can’t entertain you, you pain in my ass,” you say, as he allows you to roll his heavy body off of yours and onto the other side of your bed. “I have a date with Daeyoung in like an hour. I need to go shampoo.”
“Booooo,” he complains. Then he props himself up on one elbow and gives you that familiar look again - the math problem look. Not calculating, exactly, but definitely evaluating. “You’ve been seeing him for a while,” he remarks, and you can hear the effort to keep his tone casual, which makes you wonder what he’s hiding.
“Like four months,” you say, not sure if this is agreeing with him or not.
He nods, then rolls to face your ceiling, arms behind his head. It does disgusting things to his biceps, and you look away, sitting up and reaching for your phone to check the time.
“How’s that going?” he asks, still all casual. 
“Good,” you say airily, still not looking at him.
“Sunny,” he says, a bit more seriously, and it’s enough to make you glance his way. He’s facing you, arms still behind his head, but watching. “Why won’t you talk to me about it?”
Ice flows through your veins so quickly that you have the urge to blow on your fingers to warm them. Talk to me about it. You take a calming breath, remind yourself that he’s asking about Daeyoung, not about your feelings in general.
“I don’t know,” you say with a shrug. “Just feels weird.” 
“It didn’t used to,” he says, and you know exactly what he means. You’d always talked to him about anything - including boys and crushes. 
He doesn’t ask so what’s different now, but you know the answer anyway. You’re afraid you’ll say anything, and Mingyu - who knows you better than anyone else - will hear everything you aren’t trying to say. How you feel about him, how you’ve been trying to create distance and boundaries, how it’s been unsuccessful because you have no sense of consistency, how you can’t seem to accept that you don’t get to have him, how Daeyoung is so nice and fun and cute but still can’t silence the urge behind your ribs that screams for Mingyu.
“Yeah,” you sigh, acknowledging that he’s right - that you used to tell him everything. “I don’t know, Mingyu. It’s good. I like him. Like… I don’t necessarily think he’s The One or anything, but I’d be upset if we broke up?” 
Mingyu nods, something complicated on his face. “Well,” he says finally, “That’s good. I’m glad it’s going well. You deserve it.”
There’s something flat in his voice, and you stand because you can’t just sit there next to him right now. 
“Thanks,” you say, because you don’t know what else to say. “Well… I’m gonna go shower so I’m not late.” You grab the few things you need from your room and pause in your doorway. He’s pulled out his phone, his thumb swiping slowly and his eyes on the screen, and you carry on across the hallway, leaving him behind.
The way you need to. The way you’re trying to. 
Daeyoung takes you to dinner, making you laugh so hard you have to wipe under your eyes, and listening intently when you bitch about work (and, yes, Marcus in Accounting). 
After, as you walk along the river, looking out at the lights, Daeyoung reaches for your hand, and you link fingers. 
This is what you need - to lean into it with someone, to really try with someone. Maybe that will ease this process of shifting Mingyu to the background. Maybe you just need to try.
Like he can read your mind, Daeyoung slows, turning to look at you. He says your name hesitantly, and you match his slowed pace, waiting.
“We’ve been doing this for a while,” he says, kind of hesitantly, “and I kind of wanted to see if we’re on the same page.”
When you just look at him, he forges ahead, the words rushing out of him now. “I really like you, and I really like this… and I was wondering how you’d feel about… maybe being more official?”
You feel yourself flush, a smile tugging at your lips. “Are you… asking me to be your girlfriend?”
He smiles back, relief washing over his face. “Yeah,” he says, much more confident now. “Yes, I am.”
You lick your lips, suddenly unsure. “Daeyoung,” you say, and you watch his face fall. You hurry to amend - “No, I’m not saying no! It’s just… I don’t know… I feel like we’ve kept things pretty… light. And I just worry that if we get more serious and you see more of me… you might…”
You trail off. He watches you intently, and then finishes for you, “Change my mind?”
You nod meekly. What if you can’t do it - what if you can’t push Mingyu out of your head and heart, what if you can’t start fresh with someone? Daeyoung has been wonderful to you. He doesn’t deserve to get hurt. He doesn’t deserve to be second choice, doesn’t deserve to be a consolation prize. 
You can’t say yes if that’s what this will be. You need to be sure you’re all in, you need to be sure you want him and not just the fresh start he represents.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” you say instead, quietly. 
He considers this, watching you carefully. “Why do you think you will?”
It’s a fair question. “I’m… trying to get over someone,” you force yourself to say. He deserves to know what he’s walking into. 
You watch his face for any change in expression. His expression does ripple a little, and then he licks his lips and asks, “And how’s that going?”
You scuff the toe of one shoe absently along the pavement. “Goes better when you’re around,” you admit. “But I don’t want to be… like… using you, I guess? It feels… unfair.”
He nods. “I appreciate that,” he says, looking away from you, at the river. He’s quiet for a while and then asks, “Are you into this? With me?”
“Yes,” you say emphatically, because despite the Mingyu of it all, it’s true. “I just don’t want you to end up with regrets.”
He smiles kind of ruefully. “Thanks for being honest,” he says, brushing the back of your hand with his thumb. 
“What are you thinking?” you ask in a whisper. You really hope you aren’t breaking up right now, but you wouldn’t blame him if he called it off.
He lets out a long breath, very slowly, measured. “I’m thinking that no one can make promises at the beginning of a relationship.”
Your stomach jolts, terrified, at the word. He continues, oblivious.
“But,” he says, “you just take it a day at a time. That’s all I’m asking for - just a day. And then maybe another. We can go from there.”
You consider this, that tiny smile returning. He waits for your answer.
“Okay,” you say finally. “Yeah. If you’re sure you want that, then… yes.”
“Yes?” he repeats, like he needs to be sure. He’s already grinning, despite the turn the conversation had taken on the way here.
You laugh, feeling suddenly shy. “Yeah. Yes.”
He kisses you next to the singing river, and later you take a selfie together beside a food cart. You post it to social media with a blue heart emoji for the caption. 
You swallow hard and swipe roughly to remove the notification when Mingyu likes the picture minutes later. 
May
“Kim Mingyu!” you bellow, scooping up an armload of shirts and socks from the living room floor. “Get your gross, sweaty clothes off of our shared couch! The hamper is like three feet away!”
“Yah,” he complains, coming to take the offending pile from you. “You never cared before!”
“Well now her boyfriend is coming over,” Jeonghan says, somehow making the word sound sleezy. “She wants it to be pretty in here.”
“I hate you both,” you say. “I only like Wonwoo. He’s my only friend. Wonwoo, you’re my only friend.”
Wonwoo gives you a very deadpan finger heart from his spot on the couch. 
Unfortunately, Jeonghan is kind of right. 
You’ve mostly spent time out with Daeyoung or at his place - mostly because he lives alone and you live with a cast of clowns. But he has come over a handful of times. Sometimes he’s only there long enough to stand awkwardly by the front door while you finish putting on jewelry and shoes before whisking you away; other times he’s stayed to eat take-away and watch a movie as the aforementioned clowns filter in and out, leaving snappy comments like use protection in their wake. 
Tonight’s the first time that the plan is for everyone to hang out. To say you’re nervous is an understatement, as evidenced by the uncharacteristic way you pace the house, adjusting items Daeyoung has already seen out of place as if it makes any difference.
“Sunny Baby,” Mingyu finally says, coming up and putting his hands on your shoulders, trying to still you. You pull back from his touch as gently as you can, trying to make that space with some subtly. “Why are you freaking out? He’s been here before.”
“Yeah, you’re right, why would I be nervous?” you ask sarcastically. “Why would I be nervous to have my boyfriend come over for games and movies with three notoriously very nice people who never make trouble?”
“Rude,” Wonwoo remarks from the couch.
“Not you, Wonwoo, you’re my only friend,” you tell him without even turning your head. You hear Jeonghan snort.
“You said three,” Mingyu points out seriously, stepping back from you like he silently got the memo about space. “That includes Wonwoo.”
“Fine, I retract my statement. Two people who make trouble, and then one person who knows how to be normal sometimes.”
A knock on the door interrupts you before anyone can push your buttons any further.
“Be nice,” you tell them sternly as you head to open the door. “Be normal. For the love of god, at least try.”
“She has no faith in us,” Jeonghan says sadly behind you. 
“We probably shouldn’t try Monopoly tonight,” Mingyu remarks, and you hate that he’s right. 
You all almost broke up over Monopoly, once. You never played again. 
“Yeah, put that one away,” you agree, as you pull the door open.
Daeyoung greets you with a smile and a small bouquet of flowers - nothing too fancy, just a little something. You pay for them with a smile and a kiss, lifting onto your tiptoes to reach his lips.
“Awwww, so cute,” Jeonghan coos from across the apartment.
“Jeonghan,” you say sharply. “What did we talk about?”
Daeyoung feigns a pout. “You don’t think we’re cute?”
You slap at his arm playfully and step back to let him in. You head to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers, listening as the men all exchange heys and how’ve you beens. 
You all settle for a variation of Rummy, sitting around the kitchen table with a smattering of snacks and drinks, chatting easily as you play.
At the end of the second hand, you ask, “Wait, what does that put me at?”
“Sixty-two,” Daeyoung says, just as Mingyu says, “Sixty-three.”
You look at them both blankly. You and numbers don’t vibe. 
Jeonghan looks at the little note on his phone where he was tallying scores. “Sixty-three,” he confirms.
“Whoops,” Daeyoung says apologetically. “I wasn’t trying to short you on points, sweetheart.”
All three of your roommates stiffen, and you feel your face heat. “No worries,” you say quickly, reaching to cut the deck for the next hand. “Whose turn is it?”
Be normal, be normal, be normal, you mentally beg the clowns. 
“I think it’s mine, sweetie-pie,” Jeonghan deadpans. You kick him ferociously under the table, not even trying to be subtle, and he swears.
“Knock it off,” you growl.
“You’re upsetting pookie, hyung,” Mingyu says somberly. 
“I hate all of you,” you whine. And then, on instinct, “Not you, Wonwoo.”
Daeyoung looks around the table, amused. “Is this always how it is around here?”
“Basically,” Wonwoo admits. “Just usually with a lot more -” He stops short, coughing, and reaches for his drink. You all wait, your heart thrumming nervously. You’re sure he’d been about to drop a crack about you and Mingyu’s physical affection. “A lot more yelling,” he finishes. “This is everyone on their best behavior, because Sunny threatened us.”
Daeyoung laughs, and you pray that the moment went unnoticed. You can tell Mingyu is a bit still on your other side, and if it was a month ago you would have reached over to him already, soothed a hand down his arm or pressed your cheek to his shoulder until he untensed. You rest your hands in your lap, instead, eyes on your cards.
After Rummy, which Jeonghan wins by a landslide, you all head to the couches for a movie.  Your roommates and you have always had unspoken “spots”, but Daeyoung’s presence throws the balance off entirely. Normally you’d be next to Mingyu but he takes Jeonghan’s spot, leaving the other guys to buffer as they try to figure out a new arrangement.
“Here,” Daeyoung says, tugging on your wrist until you settle on his lap, legs hanging just off the side of his own, “we can make room.”
Jeonghan tosses you a small blanket and a wink and settles in on the far side of your couch, giving the two of you lots of room. Wonwoo flicks off the overhead lights and settles next to Mingyu, the two of them awkwardly squished on the two-seater. But, blessedly, no one complains as the opening score emanates from the sound bar. 
As the movie begins, you relax, leaning sideways against Daeyoung’s chest, his arms looped around you. You stomp down on the intrusive thought that wants to compare how comfortable this is to how comfortable you’d been with Mingyu for past movie nights, internally hissing at your own brain for the unwelcome thought. 
“You good?” he murmurs, voice low, only for you, one hand rubbing the small of your back lightly.
“Mhm,” you assure him, reaching up to kiss the edge of his jaw, the only bit of him that you can reach comfortably. He smiles down at you, endeared, and then turns his attention to the television again. You can feel someone’s eyes on you, but you refuse to look, refuse to give attention to whoever is trying to heckle you right now. They can’t just let you live, huh?
Halfway through the movie, Mingyu stands, moving out of the way of the screen quickly and heading to the kitchen. You don’t lift your head from Daeyoung’s check, just watching him go through the corners of your eyes. 
“Anyone need a drink?” he calls from the kitchen. “Hyung? Sunny Baby?”
Daeyoung physically recoils, his head snapping back so he can look at you, wide-eyed. You look back at him the same way, feeling like you’ve been caught at something. 
“It’s just habit,” you say, quietly, and Jeonghan turns away, shifting awkwardly next to you two. “Old nickname from a million years ago.”
Daeyoung nods, but his face is still a bit stricken.
“Hello?” Mingyu calls from the kitchen. “Beer? Anyone?”
“No, thanks!” you call back, trying to force your voice to come out cheerful. 
When he returns, flopping unceremoniously into his spot next to Wonwoo, Daeyoung’s arms tighten around you. 
You close your eyes, frustrated. You hope you can salvage this. You’d been afraid from the jump that the Mingyu factor - even with the changes you’ve been purposely making, all that space - would damage what you have with Daeyoung, as effective as a drop of ink in a bucket of water. 
When the movie ends, Wonwoo gives a polite goodbye and vanishes into his lair and you lead Daeyoung back towards the front door. Behind you, you can hear the tell-tale clicks of bottles as Jeonghan and Mingyu start picking up the food and drinks. 
“I’m sorry,” you say, as soon as you have some semblance of privacy in the entryway. “I knew hanging out here was going to be a mess.”
Daeyoung manages a smile. “It wasn’t a mess,” he says. “I just didn’t realize how close you all were.”
He’s being too nice. You feel terrible. 
“I think we might get less close very soon if they can’t get their shit together,” you grumble, which makes him laugh, some of the tension alleviating. 
“Well,” Daeyoung says, suddenly turning conspiratory, “while your place was very fun… what would you say to some fun at my place now?”
You giggle. “I wouldn’t hate that plan,” you say coyly, smiling up at him. “Quieter, there. Fewer clowns.”
He laughs again, even as he reaches to tilt your jaw up, shuffling you backwards against the entryway wall as his lips find yours. 
As the kiss warms you, your hands finding the front of his shirt and bunching it into your fists, heat beginning to trickle out of hiding in your belly, you hear footsteps and an abrupt, “Oh - shit - sorry - my bad -”
“Your place,” you say against Daeyoung’s lips as Mingyu retreats back to the kitchen. You can practically feel through the wall how red his ears are. 
Daeyoung lets you out of his embrace and you hurry to your room to toss a few things together - toothbrush, phone charger, clothes - and come to get your jacket. 
“Bye, idiots!” you call through the apartment. Then, “Not you, Wonwoo!” and you close the door behind you with a giggle, following Daeyoung down the stairs.
On the other side of the wall, safely hidden in the kitchen, Mingyu stands staring blankly at the pantry, one hand over his mouth, still as a statue. What is this feeling churning in his gut? He feels sick, and he can’t put a name to it but he hates how it crawls through his system. 
Jeonghan appears next to him, placing two more dirty cups in the sink. He lets out a single, wry laugh when he sees Mingyu standing there.
“Yeah, dude,” he says easily as he leaves again. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”
June
You and Mingyu lay side by side in the grass, a late spring night unfurling with distant thunder and a smattering of fireflies lazily drifting through the trees beyond the garden. His arm brushes yours and you can hear his breathing as he exhales slowly.
You feel happy - you feel infinite - you feel like one of those distant cracks of ferocious thunder. You feel like you could lay here next to him in silence and be happy until your joy has to burst from you, just like the clouds on the horizon. 
“Mingyu,” you say, turning to look at him. The grass tickles your cheek. 
He turns to look at you, too. It’s dark, here behind the university’s main hub, most of the lights on the far side of the building. Still, there’s enough light to see his eyes, steady on you, his gaze serious.
“Sunny Baby,” he responds, voice low, like he’s telling you a secret. “I love you.”
You wake up with faint tear-tracks on your cheeks, and you growl out a frustrated breath. 
“I need a lobotomy,” you grumble, wiping at your cheeks and trying to get comfortable again, hoping to go back to sleep - with less ridiculous dreams. 
It doesn’t happen. You flop from side to side over the course of half an hour, and then give up. You reach for your nightstand to see if you have any water, but there’s nothing but your phone and the lamp. With a sigh, you push yourself out from under the blankets and pad into the kitchen.
You’re letting a glass fill with tap water when you hear one of the other doors down the hallway open. You turn, peering through the moonlit living room, to see who else is up. The clock above the stove says it’s four in the morning.
“Sunny Baby,” Mingyu says, his voice rough with sleep. His hair is sticking up in the back. Your stomach lurches with the sick desire to smooth it down. “Why are you up?”
“Had a bad dream,” you lie. It was a good dream. Nothing bad about it until you wake up and feel guilty because of Daeyoung, and angry because your brain and heart are holding you fucking hostage. “Couldn’t get back to sleep.” That part’s true. 
“Poor Sunny Baby,” he croons, coming closer, the darkness making his form seem even bigger. “Come on - we’ll get comfy.” Just like we used to, he doesn’t say.
Your heart slams against your chest. “Oh,” you say softly. Because, yeah, a few months ago you wouldn’t have even needed him to invite you - you would have been there already, snuggling into the space next to his ribs, breathing him in until sleep returns to you. “Mingyu, I can’t.”
The blanket of darkness makes him bold. He scoffs, not even trying to hide it. “Why not? Because of that guy?” Like he doesn’t know Daeyoung’s name, like the last five months never happened. That guy. 
“Because I want to respect my relationship?” you correct gently. “Yes, that’s why. It wouldn’t be right, and you know it.”
You stand in silence for a moment, barely able to see each other across the darkened space, at an impasse. Then, he scoffs again, lighter this time. 
“Fine,” he says, moving past you towards the bathroom - probably the reason he was up in the first place. “Suit yourself.”
When he passes back through the living room on his way back to bed, you’re curled up on the couch under one of the blankets, the tv on with the sound turned low. He doesn’t even look at you as he turns down the hall and shuts his bedroom door behind him. You hear the lock click. You press your hands to your face and will yourself to breathe deep. Crying over him while asleep is one thing. Doing it while awake feels like a betrayal. 
Just one more you can add to your list.
“Hey!” you yell across the noisy room. Mingyu turns from where he’s standing near your bedroom door, talking to a few guys who you’ve seen around here but whose names you forget. Seok… something. The other one might be a Chan, you’re not sure. Mingyu lifts an eyebrow, waiting for whatever request you’re going to shout at him. 
“Can you get the door for me?” you call, trying to be louder than the music and chatter. Your apartment is bursting with people as Mingyu’s annual summer bash is well underway. You’re at the pong table - your kitchen table, shoved halfway into the living room - a slightly sticky plastic ball in hand. “Daeyoung is here, I can feel my phone going off.”
Mingyu gives you a wordless salute and shuffles off towards the front door, and you close one eye, lean forward as far as the others will let you without calling a foul, and line up your shot.
You sink it just seconds before you feel someone’s hands on your hips. You straighten up and turn to greet Daeyoung with a kiss, firm and confident courtesy of many drinks. The party’s been going for a few hours already, and you and the guys pregamed before the guests started showing up.
“Hi!” you chirp when you part. “Glad you made it!” 
“This is a lot of people,” he says back, looking around your living room and kitchen a bit incredulously. “You said you guys do this every year?”
You nod seriously. “We bribe our neighbors. I mean, they’re all invited of course, but we also try to do something nice to make up for the one night of noise. Last year I baked cookies. This year we just went straight to cash.”
He laughs, and you lead him through the throng of people into the kitchen for a drink. 
“I’m glad you came,” you say again, as he stands before the open fridge, scanning beer bottle labels for something palatable. He sends you a smile over his shoulder, then picks a bottle and turns. You place the opener into his waiting hand.
“You look good tonight,” he tells you, all glinty, looking at you sideways. You pretend to preen.
“Sunny always looks good,” Jeonghan asserts, breezing in behind you holding a bowl full of chips. 
“Are you sharing those?” you demand. “You can’t gatekeep the good ones, Jeonghan. We’ve talked about this.”
“Gatekeep, girlboss, whatever the third one is!” he replies, zipping back out of the kitchen as quickly as he’d come. 
Out in the living room, you hear the familiar sound of the karaoke machine booting up. There’s a telltale scraping - the pong table being shoved against the far wall to make more room for jumping around while aiming for that perfect score. 
When you and Daeyoung make it into the living room again, Mingyu and one of the friends whose names you forgot are singing together. Mingyu’s all irony, eyes closed in mock passion as he clutches his mic with both hands, but his friend is actually good, voice sailing over the higher notes without error.
“Wow,” you say. “That guy can actually sing.”
One of your friends, a girl you lovingly call Ethel because of the style of grandma glasses she favors, stops in front of you, pushing little plastic shot glasses into your hands.
“Are you the boyfriend?” she asks Daeyoung, somewhat breathlessly. “I’ve been dying to actually meet you. She’s been keeping you a secret.”
“I have not!” you reply hotly, as Daeyoung laughs, introducing himself. 
“It’s nice to meet her other friends,” he says, and she rolls her eyes. 
“I know, it’s hard to separate her from these guys,” she says. “They deserve a sitcom.”
“I’m standing right here,” you protest. 
Jeonghan appears behind you, too close. “We have a little problem in the kitchen,” he whispers.
You excuse yourself, leaving Daeyoung with Ethel - who will hopefully say nothing too incriminating about you and Mingyu’s blurry-lined friendship. 
In the kitchen, Wonwoo is kneeling on the floor, his upper body hidden in the cupboard under the sink. When he shuffles back out, the front of his shirt is wet. You can see a bit of water starting to pool on the boards below the cleaning supplies.
“Uh oh,” you say.
Mingyu appears to your left, solid and warm against your arm. Then he crouches, peering under the sink. 
“Can I have someone’s phone?” he asks, and you pass him yours. He turns on the flashlight and shines it at the pipes. You watch his face do that thing - that calculating look, the problem-solving look. 
“It’s this one,” he says, pointing to something you can’t see under there. “Where’s our toolbox?”
“Great question,” Wonwoo says, mouth twisting as he tries to remember. “Laundry room?”
“I think so,” you say. “I think it’s on the shelf in there.”
Mingyu scoots out from under the sink and disappears into the little nook you all graciously call a laundry room, since it does have a functional door, then reappears with two tools in hand. You don’t know what they are - you’ve never needed to.
You and Jeonghan and Wonwoo stand around him, worried, like you’re waiting for a doctor to emerge through hospital doors to report on the status of a loved one. When Mingyu backs out of the cabinet again, it’s with an air of smugness. 
“All set,” he says, one side of his mouth quirking proudly. 
“Our hero,” Jeonghan deadpans.
“This is why we keep you around,” you tell him.
“Get the man a shot,” Jeonghan says, swiveling to the collection of bottles on the counter. 
Daeyoung finds you on the kitchen floor, using a rag to wipe up any bits of water. Wonwoo and Mingyu both disappeared to change into dry shirts, you think. 
“Everything okay?” he asks. 
“Yeah,” you tell him, wiping one last spot and leaning up on your knees to look around for any areas you might have missed. The last thing you need is for someone to slip in here. “The sink broke. It’s okay now, Mingyu fixed it.”
“Well, thank god for Mingyu,” he says, and you look up at him, not sure if you’re imagining the edge in his voice. Are you? Did you project that?
“Well,” you say, “kind of! Because four of us live here, and only one person could solve the problem.”
He laughs reluctantly. “I can fix a sink,” he says, a bit of a pout in his voice.
You stand, returning the rag to the counter. “I’ll make sure to ask you first next time,” you say, leaning up to brush your lips teasingly across his. “I just thought the rent-payer should handle the problem before the guests.”
“I guess that’s fair,” he allows, smiling bigger. 
A while later, you find yourself in Wonwoo’s room, leaning against the wall watching somewhat absently as he and one of his friends play a POV shooter game, their brows furrowed in concentration and fingers flying on the controls. 
Daeyoung had been with you only moments ago, reporting into your ear on the game’s happening like a sports commentator to make you laugh, but he’d gone to get you each a new drink. Mingyu appears in his absence, and you can tell immediately that he’s sloppy.
“Sunny Baby,” he sings, draping an arm over your shoulders. 
You can’t help but smile, even as you try to shift out from under his arm. “Yes?” you sing back teasingly. “Can I help you?”
“Mhm,” he hums. “You can stay just like this.” He wraps his other arm around you, and you laugh, pushing very gently at his chest.
“Mingyu,” you protest, laughing. “Get off me.”
“I will in one second,” he says, smiling cheekily. “You haven’t let me hug you in a hundred years, I have to take advantage now that your defenses are weakened by cheap vodka.”
“Mingyu!” you laugh again. 
And then you see Daeyoung in the doorway behind him, face unreadable. 
“Mingyu,” you say again, deadly serious now. “Let go.” 
Daeyoung slowly reaches to put the two beers on Wonwoo’s dresser and turns, wordlessly retreating down the hallway.
“Damn it, Mingyu,” you hiss, extracting yourself and hurrying to follow him. Daeyoung makes it clear outside and down the front steps before you catch him.
“Daeyoung, wait!” you call, and he finally slows, turning to face you. You jog to catch up, a bit breathless. You’ve had way too much to drink for this kind of confrontation, but you try to get your shit together enough to defend yourself. Or apologize. Or both.
He doesn’t say anything, just raises his eyebrows and waits.
“Don’t -” you start, and then switch tracks quickly. “That was nothing. He’s like that when he’s had too much to drink. He’s just being silly.”
Daeyoung laughs once, sharp and sarcastic. “Don’t lie to me,” he says flatly. 
“I’m not!” you protest. “It’s true.”
He shakes his head, swipes his thumb across his phone screen and taps around. 
“Don’t leave,” you beg. “I’m sorry. I was trying to tell him to let go.”
He twists his mouth, refusing to look at you. At the far end of the street, you can see approaching headlights. He’s ordered a ride home. 
“When you said you were trying to get over someone I didn't pry,” he says flatly, “but I guess I should have. You could’ve had the decency to tell me that you live with him.”
The slam of the car door feels final, the sound passing over you like shrapnel. 
The blink of red taillights has just vanished around the corner when strong arms wrap around you. Mingyu must have followed, must have been watching from the door, must have seen it happen. 
You’ve been trying to make space, you’ve been trying to stay away, but you’re buzzed and you’re sad and you’re weak. So, you turn in his arms, burying your face in his shirt and letting yourself cry. 
He holds you through it, doesn’t say anything to you, just holds on tight until you can breathe again. 
“I don’t want you to see this,” you sniffle finally, and he lets his arms drop, stepping back so he can look at you. “This shouldn’t be you.”
“That’s fair,” he murmurs, sounding much more sober than he had inside. “But I’m the one who’s here. Tell me you want me to go, and I will.”
Your heart cracks. 
“I don’t want you to go,” you whisper. 
“Okay,” he says, wrapping you up again, leaning his chin on the top of your head and swaying you a little bit. “Then I won’t.”
Eventually, you both lay in the grass. You don’t want to go inside, and Mingyu says he doesn’t want to leave you alone in the front yard. Instead, you lay side by side, far enough away that you’d have to stretch to touch. It feels like that night in undergrad, but also completely opposite. In your memories of that night, you felt warm and good like your place in the universe was guaranteed, your cog in the great machine fitting perfectly and spinning without difficulty. Tonight, you feel off, cold and angry, like your piece has been displaced and can’t fit anywhere anymore. 
“I’m sorry,” Mingyu says, breaking the silence. “I didn’t mean to make problems for you guys.”
“I know you didn’t,” you allow. 
“It was just us being us,” he says, a bit defensively.
“Yeah,” you say slowly. “I think that was the problem.”
He has nothing to say to that. 
Daeyoung calls you, much later, when you’re back inside and tucked in your bed. 
“Were you sleeping?” he asks.
“Of course not,” you say. “I’m lying awake agonizing over you storming out on me.”
He laughs quietly, and you feel hope bloom behind your ribs. Is this salvageable?
“I might have overreacted,” he admits. “It’s easy to be intimidated by that guy.”
That guy again. What is it with these two? 
“You shouldn’t be,” you tell him. “He’s an idiot.”
Daeyoung laughs again. “So am I,” he says.
“You don’t need to worry about him,” you say. “I’ve been really trying to adjust the boundaries of our friendship, and it’s a big change from how we used to be. Usually we do better… Like I said earlier, he was drunk. He just forgot himself, went back to how things used to be.”
Daeyoung is quiet for a second. “I should have let you explain yourself before I left,” he says evenly.
“I’m sorry I put you in that position in the first place,” you counter. “I didn’t mean to. I’m in this with you, Daeyoung. I promise.”
“I know,” he admits. “I know you are.”
You smile into the phone. “Our first fight.”
He laughs again. “Hopefully not one of many.”
“Eh,” you say. “It’s normal. Anyway, I’m glad you called. I would have been a mess waiting to hear from you. Might have embarrassed myself blowing your phone up.”
“Maybe I should have let you embarrass yourself,” he teases. 
“It’s like that, huh?” you joke.
“Yes,” he sniffs. “Until I feel better.”
When you finally hang up, you creep through the apartment to pee before trying to sleep. You notice Mingyu’s light is on, though his door is shut. You pause, looking at that sliver of light, and then continue on back to your own bed. 
July
“Move over!” you giggle, using your hips to scoot Daeyoung out of your way, a wooden spoon in your hand. The simmering stew on the stovetop smells delectable, and you give it a stir, make sure nothing is stuck to the bottom of the pot. 
“Ask nicely!” he retorts, but he’s smiling. 
Mingyu watches the scene covertly from the couch, trying to keep his face neutral, trying to keep his face tilted towards the tv so he doesn’t get caught watching. Or worse, caught sulking.
You and Daeyoung eat and wash up most of what you used to cook, offer the leftovers to anyone around to hear you (so, just Mingyu), and then leave, giggles and flirting dissipating and leaving Mingyu in a quiet that he absolutely can’t stand. 
When you return the next day, trying to look nonchalant with your overnight bag clutched in your hands, Mingyu is at the kitchen table, eating some of the leftovers and watching videos on his phone. 
“Hey,” he greets you, pausing the video.
You give your overnight bag a light toss; it lands with a thump over near the couch. “Hey yourself,” you say, heading into the kitchen for a drink. “The food’s good, right?”
“Yeah,” he admits. “Your man can cook, huh?”
“Hey!” you object. “I did most of the work!”
“Hmm,” he says, rising and coming into the kitchen to rinse his plate. 
You cross your arms, eyes narrowing. “Hmmm what?”
He shrugs teasingly. “We’ve lived together a long time, Sunny. I have a hard time believing you’re the chef in that relationship. You never helped me cook anything.”
Your eyes narrow even more. “You never asked me to,” you retort, suddenly defensive. “There’s a lot of things I do with Daeyoung because you never asked me to.”
Silence falls on the kitchen like a rockslide. 
Mingyu takes one very careful step backwards. “Because I never asked you to?” he echoes, his voice shaking just slightly.
Your pulse races, and you fight a wave of nausea. A Freudian slip if there ever was one. 
“That you never asked me to,” you amend firmly.
Mingyu hesitates. Then, “I don’t think that’s what you meant.”
That defensiveness moves inside you like a thing alive, your temper flaring in an effort to protect you. 
“Don’t tell me how I feel,” you snap, suddenly pissed. 
Mingyu doesn’t rise to the bait, doesn’t match your temper at all. Calm and steady, he says, “So then you tell me. How do you feel, Sunny?”
That rockslide hits you. You can’t breathe, too bruised by the onslaught. All the years of secrets and feelings and broken rules and truths that you knew but pretended not to spill around you, impossible to escape.
“You don’t get to ask me that,” you hiss at him. “Not now. That’s not fair.”
His calm cracks, just slightly, his tone going hard. “What are you talking about?”
“Why now, Mingyu?” you demand. “Why now, when I have someone? Why not any of the years before now, when I was only yours?” 
You’re breathing hard, having spat the words like they’re venom, and you wait him out. He blusters, splutters, has nothing to say to this.
Your temper pulls you like a wave, a momentum you can’t fight.
“You don’t know the answer?” you ask sarcastically. “That’s fine - I can tell you: because you had me. You had me, and you didn’t need to share me, and you could still do whatever - or whoever! - you wanted and I’d still fucking be here afterward.”
You know exactly the moment you start crying through the words, because Mingyu’s body jolts, like he instinctively moved to touch you but remembered to stay back.
“And now?” you continue, because you’re on a roll, everything you’ve held in for years finally bursting from you with the fury of a cracked dam. “Now that’s changed. So, what is it? You want your toy back now that someone else is playing with it?”
“Of course not-”
“Fuck you, Mingyu! You sat me on the shelf for too long. I don’t deserve that.”
“Sunny, no,” he tries again. “It isn’t like that. I lo-”
“Yes, it is!” you shout. You’ve never shouted at him in your life, and it actually shuts him up. Tears are still streaming down your face, but you ignore them. “It is, and until you see that, I can’t expect you to change it or fix it.”
You start to storm past him, but you whirl on him, a finger pointed in his direction. “And don’t you dare try to tell me you love me!” you add furiously. “No you don’t. Not the right way, not like this.”
And then you slam out of the apartment, barely remembering to grab your keys off the hook as you go.
[5:22pm] You: if i send you a list of what i need, can you please put a bag together for me and leave it in the hall
[5:22pm] (jeong)Han Solo: :( sunny
[5:22pm] You: hannie please??? i can’t go inside. i really can’t.
[5:23pm] (jeong)Han Solo: he’s a fucking wreck 
[5:23pm] You: i don’t care
[5:24pm] You: i mean of course i fucking care that’s the whole problem
[5:24pm] You: please? my things?
August
August 3
[10:02am] Mingyu: sunny please talk to me
[12:17pm] Mingyu: please let me apologize to you
[12:17pm] Mingyu: i dont want to do it over text but you wont answer my calls and no one seems to know where you are
[12:22pm] Mingyu: you were right. about all of it.
[12:22pm] Mingyu: and you were right that you dont deserve it
[12:22pm] Mingyu: please call me back or come home so i can say this to your face
[5:38pm] Mingyu: there’s one part you were wrong about
[5:38pm] Mingyu: i do love you. the right way. maybe it took losing you to someone to get my ass moving but i loved you way before he was in the picture
[5:38pm] Mingyu: dont ever question that again
[11:04pm] Mingyu: god, sunny, answer your phone!
August 4
[7:43am] Mingyu: you’re killing me
[7:43am] Mingyu: are you happy sunshine???? KILLING ME!!!
[1:36pm] Mingyu: come home
[1:36pm] Mingyu: please
[8:02pm] Mingyu: we HAVE to talk about this, sunny
[11:51pm] Mingyu: i’m not going to give up
[10:23am] (jeong)Han Solo: are you staying with daeyoung for a while?
[10:23am] You: no. my mom’s. 
[10:23am] (jeong)Han Solo: ok. im glad you’re with someone who can care for you.
[10:23am] (jeong)Han Solo: we miss you :(
August 5
[8:00am] Mingyu: fine, i’ll say everything over text like an asshole
[8:00am] Mingyu: just know you made me do this!
[8:04am] Mingyu: i fell in love with you in undergrad when you had to take that statistics class that you almost failed. when you saw your midterm score was passing you told me i love you for the first time and i swear to god i almost proposed to you right there. And it never went away. It was never less.
[8:08am] Mingyu: i love you because you wield your attitude like both sword and shield. I love you because you can barely count but you make me feel so stupid sometimes with how clever you are. I love you because you’re beautiful and funny and empathetic and you make me want to be better than i am. I want to be more competent for you, to be able to take care of you and provide for you when you need it. I love you because when i’m sick you take care of me and you let me take care of you when you’re down too. I love you because when i’m with you i feel like someone’s GOT me, someone understands me and has my back. 
[8:09am] Mingyu: i cant believe youre making me say this all in TEXT i hate this!
[8:10am] Mingyu: i have more. I have a hundred more reasons. 
[8:10am] Mingyu: come home so i can tell you
[11:58pm] Mingyu: goodnight sunny baby. Please come home soon.
You show up to Daeyoung’s unannounced. His face is grim when he opens the door; you haven’t answered his calls or texts in a few days, either. He probably knows what this is. 
“Hi,” he says, stepping backwards to make room for you in his doorway. “This is a surprise.”
“I’m sorry I vanished,” you tell him. “Something happened. I’ve been at my mom’s.”
He eyes you warily, like he’s not sure if this is a I got in a car accident kind of something, or a I cheated on you kind of something, and he doesn’t want to react for the wrong one. “Okay…” he says slowly.
“Daeyoung,” you say, after taking a breath to steel yourself, “I care about you, and I like you, and I have real feelings for you.” 
“I sense a but,” he says dryly. 
You smile sadly. “But I dont think this is fair to you. I shouldn’t be with someone - anyone - until I’m over him or he’s out of my life… and I can’t seem to make either of those things happen.” You don’t need to say which him. You both know. “I wanted to. I wanted to do it right and I thought I was… but I was wrong.” 
He shrugs, face blank. “Okay.” 
“Daeyoung.” 
“What do you want me to say?” he asks, frustration seeping into his tone. “I can't argue with any of that. I can’t change it for you. I can’t be better than him, I can't become him. You’re right, you shouldn’t be with someone else if what you really want is that guy.”
That guy. Again.
“You’re right,” you whisper, looking at your feet.
He lets out a breath. “So, it’s done then?”
You nod miserably. “Yeah. I’m sorry, Daeyoung. I hope someday you can believe that this isn’t how I wanted it to go. You deserve better.”
He doesn’t answer, doesn’t let you go out with any optimism. You and your misery trudge back to your mother’s, fall asleep in your childhood bed.
August 6
[8:00am] Mingyu: good morning ☀️
[8:00am] Mingyu: i have more things to say today
[8:00am] Mingyu: i will give you two 2️⃣ minutes to respond or you get it all thru text AGAIN
[8:00am] Mingyu: and you know how i feel about that.
[8:03am] Mingyu: fine.
[8:03am] Mingyu: you’ve always been so fucking stubborn sunny. just let me apologize to you!
[8:05am] Mingyu: i’m sorry i kept you on hold
[8:05am] Mingyu: you’re right. that’s what was happening. but i didn’t MEAN it like that.
[8:05am] Mingyu: idk if you believe me bc i can’t see your face 🙄
[8:06am] Mingyu: but its true. I just… liked how things were. Youre right… i counted on you always being there waiting for me. 
[8:06am] Mingyu: i thought it was okay though… i thought if you wanted it to change you had the power to change it
[8:07am] Mingyu: like, you could have said something to me.
[8:07am] Mingyu: and i dont mean that like its your fault or anything, it was just how i rationalized it to myself. Like if you werent complaining then it must be fine?
[8:09am] Mingyu: i’m an idiot
[8:14am] Mingyu: but i’m an idiot who loves you, and misses you, and wants to do better
[11:59pm] Mingyu: please come home
[12:32pm] You: i broke up with him.
[12:32pm] (jeong)Han Solo: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[12:32pm] (jeong)Han Solo: are you okay???
[12:32pm] (jeong)Han Solo: come home so we can take care of you!!
[12:58pm] You: i cant face him. not yet. im not ready
August 7
[8:00am] Mingyu: good morning sunny ☀️
[8:00am] Mingyu: i’m sorry i took you for granted. even if we walk out of this only trying to repair the friendship, i swear i’ll never let it happen again.
[11:58pm] Mingyu: goodnight sunshine. I love you.
August 8
[8:00am] Mingyu: good morning sunny ☀️
[8:00am] Mingyu: dont work too hard today
[8:00am] Mingyu: dont take any shit from marcus in accounting
[12:12pm] Mingyu: having lunch. call me if you want? it doesnt have to be heavy. Just hello.
[12:39pm] Mingyu: i need you back sunny. in whatever capacity youll let me have.
[11:57pm] Mingyu: hope you had a good day. Goodnight, i love you.
August 9
[8:00am] Mingyu: good morning sunny
[11:58pm] Mingyu: please. Please come home.
When you return home, a week after you left, it’s nearly dawn, the light from outside the living room just turning blue enough that you can see the outlines of the couches as you close the door as quietly as you can.
You step lightly, avoiding the spots you know will creak and groan when you step over them. You peer down the hallway to see that the guys’ doors are all shut, no lights on - not even the blues of Wonwoo’s computer monitor. 
You open your door and look around; your room looks exactly how you left it, down to the glass of water on the nightstand, now nearly empty. Except… the blankets on the bed are wrong. You set your bag down gently next to your dresser and creep closer, squinting through the dimly lit room.
A dark head of hair peeks out from under your comforter.
You can’t help it - you smile to yourself. For all the things Mingyu is - intelligent, funny, athletic, competent - he’s also a big baby. And he’s sleeping in your bed, because he misses you, and it comforts him.
It makes you want to forgive him for every wrong, press your lips to his sleepy forehead, listen to him lisp out Sunny Baby. 
He hurt you, it’s true. But you believe it that he was lying to himself, pretending things were fine. Weren’t you doing the exact same thing? You can’t hope Daeyoung will forgive you for your mistakes if you aren’t willing to do the same, too. 
You close your bedroom door and approach your bed. Mingyu stirs, making cricket legs under the blanket and stretching one arm towards the empty side. Towards you, though he doesn’t know it yet.
Then he freezes. His voice comes out paper thin. “Sunny?” he asks, pushing himself to sitting.
“This is not your bed,” you tell him, and he launches himself across the mattress, scrambling to reach you.
You allow him to wrap his gangly arms around your middle, pulling you to him as apologies pour over his lips so fast that he’s nearly babbling.
“Okay, okay,” you laugh, pushing at his shoulders. You back away and he follows like he’s tethered to you, clambering from the bed and standing before you.
For a moment, you just stare at each other through the thick blue of encroaching dawn.
And then he says your name.
Not Sunny. Not Sunny Baby. Your real name.
“I am so sorry - for everything,” he says, the ache in his voice clear and open. Then he drops his voice to a pained whisper. “Please. Tell me I can fix it.”
You press your lips together, looking at him. He looks awful - like he hasn’t slept much, or been eating well. You feel a little bad that you stayed away for so long, but you’d needed the time by yourself. You’d needed the clarity of being alone to figure out what you want.
“I think we can,” you whisper back, since the rest of the apartment is still sleeping. We, because this was on both of you. 
He crushes you in a hug, surrounding you in the smell of cinnamon, his cheek pressed to your head. “I’m sorry,” he breathes into your hair. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please let me try and do better.”
“I broke up with Daeyoung,” you respond, and he snaps his mouth shut, stepping backwards to stare at you. 
“Why?” he asks finally, hoarse, like he can barely get the word out. 
You look up at him. “Because it wasn’t right to be with him. It wasn’t right to be with him when I’ve been in love with someone else the whole time.”
He closes his eyes, his whole body seeming to sag. 
“I forgive you,” you say quietly, “and I do believe that things will be better now. If we talk about it - if we’re working together to make it better.”
“Yes,” he says quickly, desperately. “I will - I’ll do whatever I need to -”
“Both of us,” you say again, emphatically. “You were right, this wasn’t just your fault. I let this go on for… years. I counted marks against you but I never once spoke up.”
“No,” he protests, shaking his head. “It was my fault, Sunny, I took it for granted and I should have been loving you, spoiling you -”
You laugh. “I mean, maybe,” you say. “But if I’d talked to you… maybe you would have been.”
“I want to now,” he says. “Can I? Will you let me?”
You smile up at him, and he grins back, taking your smile as an answer.
You reach up and touch his eye-tooth gently with a fingertip. “Your stupid fang is so fucking cute,” you whisper. “It is truly unfair how cute it is.”
He pretends to scowl at you. “We’re having a serious moment, here, Sunshine.”
You smile again, gentler this time. “I love you,” you tell him. “If you want to prove you can do this right… then I’m all in.”
He whispers your name again, then looks at you.
His eyes are molten again, the way they were the night you’d had your only kiss. It’s almost hypnotizing, the strength of his gaze on you, pulling you in wordlessly until your body is flush with his. You look up at him, breathless. 
“I’ll start proving it now,” he murmurs, so low you barely catch it, and then his mouth snags on yours, forceful, his hands cupping your jaw gently, a juxtaposition.
He touches you so tenderly, his fingers feather-light against the skin they uncover as you undress each other in hushed silence. It feels holy, somehow. 
He licks spices and heat into your mouth, trails calloused fingers down your bare arms, pulls your hips into his as his teeth trace down your jaw, makes sure you feel his want for you.
You slide your hands from his waist up his stomach and over his pecs, revelling in how he hisses and leans into the touch. 
“Wanted to do this for years,” he grumbles, like he’s complaining, before lowering his lips to your chest, sucking on supple skin to see how you like it, then doing it harder when you dig your fingers into his shoulders, gasping at the sensation.
“Should’ve,” you scold, even as your eyes close and your head tilts back. “Could’ve been.”
But you aren’t thinking about your wasted time when he kneads both hands in the meat of your ass, or when you slide a flat palm up the length of him, delighting in the weight and heat you find straining against his Calvins. You’re thinking about how his hands are searing, about how you want to taste him but maybe not yet, not this first time. You’re thinking about his fingers sliding between your legs and the belly-deep rumble he makes when he feels how ready you are for him.
And when you finally come together, his mouth pressed to yours as he lays you back on the bed you’ve shared countless times, you’re only thinking about him and his beautiful smile and molten eyes and infectious laugh and empathetic heart. When he’s pushed as far into you as your bodies will allow, his hips tight against you and a whine slipping between his lips, you’re overcome with emotion. As you adjust to him, his eyes trace your face, and he reads what’s there with perfect clarity.
“Love you, Sunny Baby,” he whispers into the crook of your neck. 
You swallow against the thick rise of feelings and run your fingers through his hair. “Move for me,” you beg. And when he does, it’s just as perfect as the rest of him. 
You press your forehead to his when you come, his thumb rough on your clit and his mouth gasping broken breaths against your lips, pulsing around him in waves so dizzying you think they trigger even more. His hair sticks to his forehead as he presses deep inside you, and he shelters you between mountainous arms as he finally lets go.
Mingyu is sunrise, leaking orange and pink and yellow and white and chasing away a world of purples and blues. He’s so bright you have to squint, a promise of a fresh start, an end to the darkness of night. 
He’s perfect. He’s perfect, and you love him, and finally you can have him. 
You lay in his arms, heartbeat slowing bit by bit, and feel wholly at peace - like everything finally settled into place, everything landed exactly as it was meant to. Your cog in the universe, spinning correctly at last, grooves fitted perfectly to Kim Mingyu’s. 
The peace lasts…. until you check your phone. 
[8:26am] (jeong)Han Solo: when you two are DONE…. we went out for breakfast if you want to join 🙄
November
“Baby,” Mingyu says, but it’s stern. “Quit fixing the pillows.”
“It has to be perfect in here!” you whine. 
Mingyu wraps his arms around you like a cage, squeezing until you’re laughing too hard and drop the throw pillow from your hand.
“They lived with us for years,” he says, entirely too rationally. “You can’t fool them.” 
He releases his hold on you so you can turn and pout at him. You’re about to protest - argue that it’s Jeonghan and Wonwoo’s first time visiting you and Mingyu’s new place, that this is momentous, a special occasion - but you’re cut off by an obnoxiously outlandish knock on the front door. 
“I’ve got it,” Mingyu tells you. “You just try to relax.” 
You will, in just a second. But first, you lean over to the candle you have burning on the coffee table and adjust it just slightly to center the label, which reads Fall Harvest and Cinnamon.
--
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thank you so much for reading!!!!
1K notes · View notes
monzabee · 3 months ago
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short n' sweet (social media au) - op81
masterlist ||
Summary: The one where in an attempt to figure out who Y/N is dating, the internet come up with theories only to realise she is dating none other than Oscar Piastri and chaos ensues.
Pairing: oscar piastri x pop star!reader (model used: sabrina carpenter) (and domingooo)
Warnings: cursing (i think), sabrina carpenter is horny but it's okay we ride with it, feat the internet being the internet, i have a big fat crush on mercello hernandez so you have been warned
Auhtor note: came all this way, had to explain, direct from @percervall; mar this one is for you, i haven't had this much fun in a long time so thank you for indulging my brainrot and excitement😭🫶
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
yourusername
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Liked by elleusa, taylorswift, gracieabrams and 3,255,376 others
yourusername: toto, i have a feeling we're not in kansas anymore. short'n sweet cumming to a city near you! first stop: columbus, ohio
user: bro just give me ONE chance
user: SHE'S GORGEOUS ❤️❤️❤️❤️
user: te amo diva
user: don't know if i wanna be with her or i wanna be her
view all 5,594 comments.
user: see you tomorrow pookie
user: cant wait to see u 🫶🏼✨🤍
user: she’s the sweetest & shortest 💋
user: it’s Y/N's world and we’re just living in it😭🤍🤍💋💋💋
user: is he talking about TOTO FUCKING WOLFF??
user: why is f1 everywhere, no she isn't😭
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tiktokuser1
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caption: bed chem from opening night!!
user: that mic is ON! ✨
user: I LOVE THIS DIVA!!
user: watching this isn’t enough, I have to be there
user: I need that bed.. NEOWWW
user: SHE BETTER BRING THE DAMN TOUR TO AUSTRALIA CAUSE THE FOMO IS CRAZY
user: oh i think she'll be bringing the tour to australia alright
user: what does that mean??
user: what do you know!!
tiktokuser2
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caption: YO I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING BUT SHORT N' SWEET TOUR IS THAT GIRL!!
user: 'have you ever tried this one?' ugh her mind😭
user: IS THIS THE NEW NONESENSE OUTRO FOR THIS TOUR I NEED TO KNOW
user: i can't take my eyes off this, i've been staring at it for the past five minutes!
user: okay diva we see you👀
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yourusername
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Liked by madisonbeer, oscarpiastri, haileybieber and 4,182,928 others
yourusername: hello l.a., are you ready to wrap it up?
user: OSCAR JACK PIASTRI WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
user: okay who is he and why is he lurking in my diva's likes?
user: MY QUEEN (me typing this while listening to espresso 👀)
user: just a girl living life and making everyone fall in love with her
user: i’m 26 and AFRAID of Y/N Y/LN
view all 7,011 comments.
user: the caption and the last pic with the kittens the vibes don't match i love you😭
yourusername: stoppp, i diee
user: how is this tour like halfway over ????? second leg of tour maybe???? 😭
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tiktokuser3
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caption: have you ever tried this one?
user: i don't know how she keeps coming up with these
user: imagine having this much freak, i wouldn't be able to leave my house
user: am i the only one who is excited for the last three shows in la??
user: her boyfriend is one lucky guy that's for sure
user: she has a boyfriend??
user: girl who do you think the guy in the white jacket and the thick accent is?
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tiktokuser4
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caption: omg guys😭😭 domingo is here😭😭
user: CAME ALLL THIS WAAY HAD TO EXPLAAAIN
user: deerect from domingoo
user: okay hear me out... mercello and Y/N??
user: noooo, this crossover is actually too insane i can't handle it
user: look at how he's looking at her bro's down bad😭
tiktokuser5
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caption: WE'VE LOST HER TO DOMINGO GUYS
user: somebody call kyle and tell him the good news😭
user: who's kyle?
user: omg do you live under a rock or something?
user: am i the only one who thinks they are not dating?
yourusername
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Liked by tiktok, oscarpiastri, marcellohdz and 3,669,817 others
yourusername: LA night 2 ♥️💋 second locationnnn maybe he’s biiii!!! see you tonight for our last show of the US leg :’) how the hell
user: God bless your Dad’s genetics, Domingo
user: OMG DOMINGOOO… “NOW SHES WITH A HOT GUY BUT HE LOOKS GAY, HEARD HIS NAMES DOMINGO”
user: DOMINGO IS CHEATING ON KELSEY
user: no hate to domingo, but oscar jack piastri liked this post under 1 minute😭😭
user: i think we've established that she is probably dating marcello, please stop with the delulu
user: Y/N IM HERE👹
view all 5,179 comments.
user: marcelo hernandez had the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever… and he did
user: the budget for this tour is insane… feels like a literal broadway production
user: came all this way, let her explain deeerect from LA
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yourusername
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Liked by oscarpiastri, madisonbeer, marcellohdz and 4,928,234 others
yourusername: date night but make it our way tagged: oscarpiastri
user: i'm sorrryyyy, but the dress is giving andie andersonn
yourusername: princess sophia is having some fun tonightt
user: this is still the most mind boggling couple ever BUT YOU LOOK GOOD THO
user: i'm so normal about this, i am sooooo normal about this
user: it's giving ross from friends and i am here for it
user: the best hard launch in the history of hard launches
oscarpiastri: great show, even better after party
yourusername: why did i know you were going to comment this
oscarpiastri: i'm literally sitting right next to you and you saw me type it
user: unhinged gf x calm bf duo is superior and this is the biggest proof ever
view all 6,728 comments.
marcellohdz: but what about domingo...
yourusername: i'm sorry domingo...
user: but is mark webber still alive, MARK ARE YOU THERE
oscarpiastri
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Liked by yourusername, landonorris, mclaren and 928,256 others
oscarpiastri: came all this way, had to explain... tagged: yourusername
yourusername: 100% recommend, 5-star service
oscarpiastri: 😐
yourusername: 🥰
user: mister oscar jack piastri god bless your dad's genetics indeed
user: world class driving, world class relationship reveal
landonorris: okay but do we get free concert tickets ooor?
oscarpiastri: 😐
yourusername: of course!
user: this is actually so cute i'm going to throw up
view all 3,156 comments.
user: have you ever tried this one just took a whole other meaning
user: wait, are we going to see them together in las vegas??
user: the hard launching is insaneee
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1K notes · View notes
valalice · 2 months ago
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✮ YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A GAMEGIRL .ᐟ ft. 𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓼.
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ʚɞ summary. a collection of streamer ellie headcanons.
warnings. streamer!ellie. modern au. fluff i guess? this is basically crack. ellie's chat can't give her a break. loser!ellie also if you so fancy it. talk about a strap on but it's nothing serious. ellie fights with kids for a living. wc. 1.4k
a/n. and the crowd BOOO'S... i know, i know literally everyone to ever exist on this app has their own thoughts on streamer!ellie, but i thought it would be fun to do my own thoughts on her <3 remember to support your writers by reblogging & commenting !
m.list | tlou m.list
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࿐ streamer!ellie who grew to stardom during quarantine. much like everyone else in the world she had a lot of time on her hands, so what's better than increasing her addiction to gaming and worsening her already bad eyesight by staring at a bright monitor in the dark? it's not like she had much school work (she did) to care about anyway.
࿐ streamer!ellie whose fan base are her biggest haters that always clown on her. many of the fans who have been around since the start still joke about younger ellie, ellie who was in high school and still cringe when she started streaming. “so, yeah i graduated college. that's the reason why there wasn't a stream on saturday.”
[user000] did you get a degree in loserology?
[user001] bro has a whole college degree and still streams 💀
“i’m talking about my accomplishments and you guys are clowning me!?"
࿐ streamer!ellie who succumbed and adopted a kitten a few years ago, a ginger one at that. her face lighting up when she realizes she has yet to introduce her son to chat. taking off her headset (for once) setting it down on her desk, “i’ll be right back, chat.” leaving her room to find where the small kitten could be.
when she comes back, she holds the small ginger puff of fur in her arms with a cheeky smile. taking the kitten in her hands and holding him to the webcam “say hello to little bro, chat. haven't named him yet, was thinking we could do a poll.”
it was best and worst decision ellie ever made adopting a cat. the best because she loves the little stinker. and the worst because anytime she's on the chat is filled with
[user002] DONTTT CAREEE WHERES RICK
[user003] show us the child
࿐ streamer!ellie who has the worst eyesight ever. she wears glasses and still squints whenever she has to read something in game or the chat.
࿐ streamer!ellie whose desk is some second hand desk she got years ago. it’s gone from place to place with her and chat jokes that it's her emotional support desk. it's often littered with pop cans, various wrappers, notebooks and sketchbooks, figurines, comic books, scratched up stickers, and guitar picks. if she's lost anything her best bet is that it's somewhere on her desk.
࿐ streamer!ellie who swears she's not a scaredy cat when playing horror games, but the moment she hears any sound she's freaking out “chat, you heard that right?” "I'M NOT GOING FUCKING INSANE!" and when out of nowhere her character is getting chased her voice will pitch a little higher “HE’S CHASING ME! HE’S CHASING ME!” when the character ultimately meets their doom she’ll deadpan the webcam, “that game wasn't even that scary.”
[user004] whatever you say bud
[user005] that clip of u screaming like a little girl says otherwise
[user006] now we all know who's dying first in a horror movie
࿐ streamer!ellie who starts to get an inflation of views on her streams from clips of her being posted on tiktok (her audios have gone viral a few times). and who rolls her eyes at all the ‘wuh luh wuh?’ comments, “is the sky blue? are there forks in the kitchen? is the grass green? i love women, women love me.”
[user007] women may have we in it but we do not love you
[user008] is the women in the room with us???
[user009] BRO NO NEED TO LIE WE KNOW U DONT PULL
࿐ streamer!ellie who's mic blows out the any time she screams from a game.
࿐ streamer!ellie who is genuinely so shit at shooting games. chat knows that within the first few minutes without a fail ellie will get shot and killed, yet they still get hyped as ellie gets focused on the game. and when she does get killed, her hands will come down crashing on her desk, causing her setup to shake before stretching out in her chair stretching, letting her hands come on top over her headset before falling down over her face.
[user010] just load up roblox bro
࿐ streamer!ellie who hits a milestone and decides to do those ‘letting my followers spend my money’ it's very short lived because chat is just as unhinged and chaotic as her. “why the fuck is there a maid’s costume? fuck no.” and when her eyes rake over the cart to see that someone added a strap harness and dildo, “YO CHAT? THE FUCK?”
[user011] now thats just sad
[user012] AINT NO WAY
[user013] guys stop being mean :/ we all know it's just going to collect dust and cobwebs :/
[user014] ellie bitchless williams
࿐ streamer!ellie who enjoys doing more laid back and casual streams like building lego sets or setting up a new action figure. she’s done quite a few cooking streams which all end in disaster, “chat is there a huge difference between baking power and baking soda?” “i don't give a fuck if i shouldn't be eating raw cake batter, salmonella fears me.” “uh, should the oven be smoking like that?”
[user015] can't believe i'm witnessing ellie burn down her place in real time
or even once in a blue moon an outside stream.
[user016] ayeeee the gremlin is out of its dungeon
[user017] how does it feel to see sunlight again?
࿐ streamer!ellie who rarely post besides the casual spam of her stories, but is somehow extremely chronically online.
࿐ streamer!ellie who got banned from her mic privileges in roblox and later completely banned. all because she has no self restraint when arguing with little kids, “your avatar is ugly.” some random kid would say, “yo daddy is ugly.” ellie would bite back. and when she finds herself in yet another shooter esc game and a kid thinks it's smart to say "your aim is butt!" ellie’s retaliation to the critique is “that's not what your mom said last night you little fucker!” then shooting the kid’s character.
[user018] kid sounds like he's 8 MAX
[user019] ellie desensitizing these kids young
[user020] TO A CHILDDDD?????
[user021] bro can only get a kill if it's a child
࿐ streamer!ellie who thinks all her jokes are knee slap worthy, but her chat couldn't be less phased.
[user022] pack it up
[user023] 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅
࿐ streamer!ellie who met you in a lobby when she's coincidentally not streaming, her team needed one more player so she shot her shot, “uh, hey,” she's totally cool right now, her palm totally isn't sweating off of her mouse “would you like to join my team? we just need one more player.” and she plays it chill when you accept “cool, cool. thanks.” but afterwards she put herself on mute and jumped out of her chair, all while her phone is blowing up with text from the groupchat.
࿐ streamer!ellie who tells her chat about it the next time she streams. “had a pretty girl on my team. i've never seen her, but i don't need to. i know it in my soul, it's my spidey sense.”
[user024] u sure u weren't dreaming???
[user025] didn't happened unless we have proof
࿐ streamer!ellie who hopes she'd see you in another lobby, but in reality it's probably a few weeks or months before she notices your handle in a lobby again, but she's always on the lookout for it. and when she does she thanks whoever is out there that she's streaming. she's solo playing this time so there's no opportunity for her to be on a team with you again, but she swears she could ascend into the heavens when you giggle at her wishing you luck in the game, covering her face from her webcam to hide that her face is turning bright red, "good luck to you too."
[user026] we all know she needs it
[user027] OKAY ELLIEEEEEE WE SEE UR GAME
“chat, i’m threw the roof. calling it know we're winning this.” ellie in fact did not win. she yet again got killed in recorded time, by none other than you. she couldn't even be upset over it “pretty and talented, damn.”
[user028] bffr u were her easy kill
࿐ streamer!ellie who by the end of it you initiate a conversation with her “i would apologize for killing you, but i just couldn't help myself.” “oh no, no. it's no problem. i’m shit at this game, it's all good.” "well maybe you could get better if we play together more?” and chat could just see the wheels turning in ellie’s head “uh—” her voice fucking cracked, “shit, yeah!” realizing she's getting a little too excited, so she's gotta tone it down “that would be cool.” smoothing a sweaty hand on her sweats. to say her chat explodes is an understatement.
[user029] WE ARE WITNESSING HISTORY
[user030] WINNERS LOVE WINNING
[user031] U BETTER DUST OFF THAT STRAP!!!!
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963 notes · View notes
racew1nn3rs · 7 months ago
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─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘷. (𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴) 🐅
⤷ summary: spain and canada. lando's rizz is negative, mission is failed. plus, mclaren pr is about to fuck shit up 🗣️
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liked by ynusername, zbrownceo, and 42,908 others
mclaren spain you were forgettable at best 😔 on to the next one
18,980 others
user1 y/n don't insult your team on the team account challenge
mclaren is it really an insult if it's true
user2 we got a lando photo but at what cost
user3 lando fans can never win here
mclaren why you would ever choose to be a lando fan to begin with is beyond me
user2 you're so right queen i'm sorry
landonorris DON'T APOLOGIZE WTF
user2 fuck both of y'all honestly
user4 at least mclaren fans can always count on content, even if we can't expect results 😭
user5 lando and y/n in their friendship era, how the fuck did we get here
landonorris you're posting me now? oh you want me so bad 🥴
mclaren sending this to hr immediately
ynusername YOU'RE FIREEEDDDDDDD
user6 damn she logged into both accounts just to make sure he heard her ass 💀 double homicide
user7 oscar fans i can't even tell if we won or lost
user8 we didn't get a face pic but... we didn't get whatever the fuck the 3rd slide is
landonorris guys pLEASE
landonorris i won't post it she says... it's just for me she says
user9 LMAOOOO AND YOU BELIEVED HER???? 🤣 🫵
landonorris going dark, no one call me
user9 was anyone going to anyways 💀
user10 LET HIM GET UPPPP
oscarpiastri i'll pay you 20 dollars if you don't ever do this to me
mclaren 🤝
mclaren i mean you were never the target but now you will be if i don't get my money!!!!
oscarpiastri oh ok
lilyzneimer i have pictures you can you use if you need bb <3
oscarpiastri WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON
zbrownceo Very funny Y/n! Keep up the good work 👍
mclaren Thanks boss! (:
landonorris ZAK WHY
user11 zak is so supportive now, wait until he sees her comments 💀
zbrownceo I have seen her comments! Very funny! 👍
user11 blink twice zak, we can help you
maxverstappen1 This is the highlight of my week, thank you Y/n!
mclaren hey max verstappen of redbull racing! not sure if you heard but you did win the grand prix this weekend
maxverstappen1 No i know, this is just definitely better.
ynusername where's my photo credits 🫵
mclaren my bad bbg 😍
user12 nurse she got out again
oscarpiastri we'll win next time!!
mclaren who told you that 🤨
oscarpiastri the voices in my head
logansargeant you hold on bro, we'll find your meds soon
user13 i think moto moto likes you ahh image
user14 i need to shrink him and put him in my pocket and keep him there
user15 which one?
user14 lando
landonorris nuh uh, pick again
maxfewtrell you can't post pictures without consent mate
mclaren i didn't??
landonorris i didn't consent.
mclaren who are you gonna believe max? me? or the solid concrete evidence in front of you
user16 he looks like he can do some crazy tricks on a trampoline
landonorris this is the only comment about myself that hasnt made me viscerally angry
oscarpiastri unfortunately i feel the opposite
user17 lany/n at it again
user18 literally what the fuck do you mean
user17 if you dont get it, i can't explain it to you
user18 okay cryptic ass, fuck you 🙄
user19 they're in love guys, just wait and see
user20 yall just love saying stupid shit on this page huh
user19 i hate getting accused of some shit i actually do 😡 like yeah i do love that but who told you
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user20 op be so fr right now
user21 everytime one of these illiterate f1 drivers pulls one of the hottest women on earth a fairty dies
user21 *fairy
user22 fairty
user21 you shut the fuck up 🫵
user23 people when coworkers are seen together at their place of work
user24 do you hug your coworkers and follow them like a lost puppy when you could be on a break
user23 wtf no
user24 EXACTLY MF, THIS IS NOT COWORKERS BEING COWORKERS
user25 history will say they were just colleagues 😔
opeightywon this shit is a national tragedy
user26 every time i see a post like this i think about the fact that she has probably seen this and i shiver
user27 honestly praying on their downfall
opeightywon wtf
user28 lando fans be normal challenge
user27 idgaf about that white man, she's just too hot for him 😕
opeightywon oh yeah real
user29 i need another youtube video where they stare at each other longingly again asap or i fear i may start having withdrawal symptoms
user30 another hot girl lost to an average white man's swagless looks and cringe fail personality i feel sick
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liked by landonorris, lilyzneimer, and 44,786 others
mclaren not our best results in canada but we improved i guess 🙄 but on a much better, more exciting note: NEW MCLAREN YOUTUBE CHALLENGE OUT GO GO GO GO
17,998 comments
user31 my crops are watered, my skin is clear, my funds are tripled
mclaren all me 😮‍💨
user32 "yay challenge video" we all cry in unison
user33 OSCAR FANS IS IT REAL??? HAS IT COME TRUE??? IS THAT A FACE PIC I SEE
user34 and it's good quality too 🤩 what did we do to deserve this
mclaren you don't, but oscar bought me coffee all weekend
oscarpiastri yes i bribed her, i feel no shame
user35 lando's back in the dog house bro, he's back to no face pics
user36 but look at his beautiful brown eyes
mclaren babe they're greenish blue with the TINIEST bit of brown 💀
user37 how long you gotta stare at a man's eyes to know the exact paint blend 🫵
user38 DOWN HORRENDOUSSSSSS
lilyzneimer insert comical heart eyes here
mclaren flirting with your man 🤢 on MY cellular device
lilyzneimer my bad bb, he doesn't mean anything to me anyways 🥴
oscarpiastri ok what the fuck
danielricciardo DROP THE CAMERA SETTINGS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS
mclaren check dms 🤲
danielricciardo thanks love you're the best
landonorris LOVE??? LMAOOOO
user39 bro is losing the dgaf war MISERABLY
user40 the way lando is staring at her the whole time she's behind the camera 😫 oh he's not even down bad, bro's down under
landonorris can i get the camera settings
mclaren has anyone ever told you how good you are at photography?? i'm not saying that, i'm just asking 😀
landonorris oKAY fuck you.
user41 the way she doesn't even pretend to care about the results
landonorris i know 🙄
mclaren i know p13 is nawttt talking back to me right now
user41 OHHH SHE ATE YOU UP HUH
landonorris y'all are some fake ass fans fr
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8:57 PM.
Y/n stared at the flashing numbers on the digital clock in the boardroom and huffed quietly. The table in front of her was covered in a mix of shredded mozzarella cheese and vibrant, red pizza sauce. Flour with evidence of handprints and bits of pizza dough decorated the wood and the woman internally sighed at the thought of clean up. Eventually she would have to get back to work.
Lando was on his phone across the table from her, and she fought the urge to stare at him. Oscar had left a while ago, having an earlier flight than them out of Canada. Lando and her had made the executive decision to stay and finish the pizza the two men had made during the "not my hands" YouTube challenge. It was messy, and didn't fully resemble a proper pizza, but it tasted good enough if not a little bit burnt. The two had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the time being while they ate.
In the time Y/n had gotten to know the British man, both on and off the track, she found herself warming up to him considerably. He was kinder than she gave him credit for at the beginning of the season, and far funnier. She could see now that more often than not he spoke without thinking or having any consideration, and maybe he was more than a little bit arrogant, but he also felt things deeply and cared passionately.
Before she could think about what she was doing, Lando's eyes met hers and he smirked. Y/n's face burned but she rolled her eyes at him and took another bite of their burnt pizza. Her ears caught the sound of him placing his phone on the table, and when she looked up again he was leaning his body across the table and toward her instead.
"What are you staring at? Hm?" He teased and she scoffed.
"You," she started and took another bite of her pizza, "have pizza sauce all over your face, you idiot. And I'm just thinking, not sure if you're familiar with the concept." He grabbed a napkin quickly and began wiping rapidly at his chin and mouth, and even his nose. She couldn't help but laugh loudly. There was nothing on his face. He was perfect actually. Unfortunately.
"Did I get it? Why didn't you tell me sooner, traitor!" She doubled over but nodded anyways.
"What are you thinking about?" he questioned as he settled back down.
"Just the season, you and Oscar," she muttered.
"Me? Thinking of little ol' me when I'm right here in front of you," she rolled her eyes with a groan.
"You have selective hearing Lando," he laughed and nodded.
"Well what have you thought about it? The season I mean. And myself of course, don't care much what you think about Osc," he leaned on his hand and stared at her intently. Y/n couldn't help that being stared at by Lando felt a little bit like being ocean, being pulled and pushed by the moon's gravity. Her brain didn't work properly around him.
Or maybe I'm just really dramatic and he's just hot, she thought miserably, Probably the latter.
"I just think maybe you and me got off on the wrong foot," she said as she fumbled with the lid of her water bottle, "and I think that maybe I enjoy this job a lot more than I thought I would." The comments seemed to sober Lando's mood up slightly.
Maybe I shouldn't have been truthful. Maybe it shouldn't have been that serious.
"What did you think of me?" He asked quietly. "When you met me I mean."
"Do you want me to be honest?" He looked at her quizzically.
"Of course I want you to be honest Y/n, or I wouldn't have asked."
"I thought you were kind of an asshole," she whispered and he laughed.
"So the beef was real for you," he smiled slightly and she let her face fall gently into her hands.
"Yeah," she breathed out a laugh, "yeah maybe a little."
"Doesn't seem like a little," he goaded and she shot him a glare.
"Okay Lord Lando, maybe more than a little," he pointed at her triumphantly.
"AHA! So it was the instagram comment. I thought you knew I was kidding," A loud groan filled the room as she smacked her head on the table. Lando's giggling could probably be heard down the hall but Y/n found she didn't care all that much anymore.
"It wasn't just the instagram comment," she defended weakly. There was a brief silence as Lando stared into space and shook his head.
"Wow... I can't believe you were actually mad at me and I just didn't know."
"It wasn't that big of a deal I guess, I just felt like you didn't really take me seriously."
"Well I mean you're not a very serious person," Y/n's heart fell to her stomach.
"What?" She asked, staring at him. She couldn't have heard him right.
"Well it's just that you're not very serious are you? Like since I met you, it's never felt like you were a serious sort of person." He added as if that was some sort of defense.
As if that isn't more hurtful.
"You're not like Zak or Andrea, or really anyone else here you know? You're just you, you're different. It was hard to be serious with you here because that's just who you are." He continued.
God just shut up, please for the love of God just shut up.
"This is my place of work Lando," she muttered bitterly. "I mean do you hear yourself." His eyes widened and he put his hands out placatingly. Like she was some sort of rabid animal he needed to calm down.
"No no no," he muttered quickly and stood up to round the table, "that's not what I meant Y/n, you know that."
"Stop Lando, just stop," she said as she began to clear off the table.
Why did she expect him to be different. What made her think he could've changed.
"You made it perfectly clear what you mean. What you think of me and of my work, my career" she spit out, swiping everything on the table into the trash. They hadn't finished eating the pizza and now it was in the bin, but Lando didn't deserve to eat the pizza she helped him make. He didn't deserve to be here at all. He wasn't her friend, he was her coworker and nothing else. It was better she accept that now.
"You misunderstood what I said," he grabbed her arm to stop her from cleaning and she whipped it out of his grasp.
"Stop Lando," she said raising her voice. She knew her eyes were teary but she didn't care. She knew her face was red with embarrassment and her hands were shaking with the force of her humiliation but she didn't care. Lando Norris could go fuck himself.
He looked at her in shock and winced as he saw her face. She steeled herself. She had never cried over a man before, why would she do it now.
"You need to leave, you have a flight in the morning," she said emotionlessly. "And I have to clean so I can go home." He tried to speak and she put her hand up, stepping away from him.
"Get out please, you're in my way," she said and his brows scrunched. He was angry? Good, so was she.
"I'm in your way?" He asked incredulously, as if she didn't have any reason to be upset. "You're not even going to hear me out?" He scoffed.
"No Lando, I don't have time for this. I have a job to do and you're in my way," she said emphasizing the words as if speaking to a child. His face fell. He looked angry.
"Whatever Y/n. What fucking ever," he muttered, grabbing his bag and storming out. Y/n waited. Footsteps in the hallways continued until a far off door slammed.
Y/n wilted like an unwatered plant as tears began to fall.
So much for friends.
She knew deep down she was hurt about much more than just friendship.
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this is the second to last chapter of part one! i hope you enjoy! please feel free to comment and send requests, i'm excited to hear your thoughts <3
-
𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666
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oscah81 · 10 months ago
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all because i liked a boy - cl16
charles leclerc x fem!reader smau
summary the hate ends up being too much for charles' new girlfriend
fc pinterest girls, sabrina carpenter
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yourusername
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liked by charlesleclerc, friend1 and 234.300 others
yourusername you make my heart beat fast, ferrari ❤
view all 240 comments
charlesleclerc ❤
→ yourusername mwah 🫶
friend1 the prettiest girl !!
→ yourusername says u 🥹🫶
user am I the only one who doesn't like her..??
→ user1 no fr... charles deserves so much better
user2 shes honestly an ick 🤢
yourusername
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liked by charlesleclerc, friend1, taylorswift and 310.232 others
yourusername im working late cuz im a singer 😴
view all 356 comments
charlesleclerc ma cherie 💝
→ yourusername my pretty boy!!
friend1 stunning.
→ yourusername i miss u mamas ❤‍🩹
user4 I don't rlly think shes his type tbh
→ user5 thank god I'm not the only one 😭
user6 smells like pr relationship!!!
→ user7 bro stfu!!! let them live
charlesleclerc
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liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari, friend1 and 435.560 others
charlesleclerc light of my life 🫀
view all 777 comments
yourusername CHA 😭
→ user8 he didn't even reply ijbolllll
yourusername you are my everything ❤‍🩹
→ charlesleclerc ❤
user9 I still don't like her...
user10 OH SHE ATEEE
→ user12 IKR idk why everyone hating
user11 ew ickie nasty
→ user13 leave her alone already 😭
user14 she should just delete her acc at this point
user15 i gagged....
yourusername
via instagram story
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[captions: much needed break]
f1wags
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liked by user11 and 10.234 others
f1wags Is there a breakup in the Ferrari garage? rumor has it Charles Leclerc and his girlfriend of 8 months, Y/n L/n, have broken up, as she has posted vacation pictures despite it being race weekend...
view all 23 comments
user11 FINALLY
user14 charles deserves better!!!
user13 y'all just leave her alone...
→ user10 no really tho, like she just dated a guy and everybody got pissy over it..
→ user12 i hope shes okay 😭
yourusername
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liked by charlesleclerc, friend1, taylorswift and 1.230.670 others
yourusername because I liked a boy out now!! thank you for all the support, my loves ❤‍🩹
view all 1203 comments
charlesleclerc great song ❤
→ user10 they way he's still down bad 😭
→ user14 date me instead!!
→ user10 girl you're delulu
taylorswift on repeat 🫶
→ yourusername oh!! my!! god!! i love you
→ user13 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
friend1 YOU ARE AMAZING
→ yourusername NO U ML ❤
user11 i take back what I said this song slaps
user15 "I got death threats filling up semi trucks" 😭
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an: this is my first smau!! it took wayyyy longer than expected lmao
i may do a pt. 2 ❤
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b00tyliciousbabe · 2 months ago
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⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩��‧͙
oddballs and eggnog
goofybf! x THICC male reader
summary: love me a nerdy man that’s got a lil spice to him. plus a lil xmas lore!
notes: HI BEAUTIFULS! merry xmas to those who celebrate. it’s been a while fr, my bad dawgs uni work has been ploughing my ass so violently im reconsidering if a degree is even for me. but as a masochistic bottom, i had to channel my energy elsewhere; thus, this fic is just me showing the variety of my tastes as the true indecisive femboy that i am. show me a cute guy and i will plan my whole life with him. i need to get a grip.
originally, i canonically wrote this character with ginger hair (y’all know i fold for redheads), but the more i kept writing, the clearer it became to me that dark brown hair/black aligned with my OWN understanding of him. it’s all fiction anyways so feel free to adapt body types as you see fit. enjoy my lovelies 🎀
album rec: flo - access all areas. these girlies have my heart. been following them since about 2022 and they are genuinely my fave artists, cannot wait for flo world domination.
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you guys had mutual acquaintances for a couple years, but it wasn’t until the two of you got to university that your friendship really blossomed. the engineering student didn’t have the best luck when it came to relationships; in fact, people would only toy with his emotions when they wanted something from him, so he learnt to put up a wall of cynicism.
these barriers he had fortified for his own protection made him quite a reserved guy. never cruel or nasty. just quiet. sure, he wasn’t a complete loner, he had a few VERY close bros who he’d let in, but it was clear that in this silence, he was safe.
he’s super handsy, whether that means pulling you on his lap, be it at parties or when he’s gaming, or placing his hands in your back pocket when y’all walk to class, he just wants to hold you. probably got something to do with the fact that he needs to make sure you’re real and not the angel he believes you to be. you love your needy bf and his craving for physical touch.
this is kinda juxtaposed by how flustered he gets by your words. the minute you whisper in his ear, he could cum in his jeans on the spot. he gets so red when you compliment him which makes him squeeze you tighter.
he wasn’t a virgin before meeting you, he’d had a few hookups but nothing sexual with someone he genuinely cared about. as a result, it made sense why he was very nervous when it came to your first time together.
to relax him, you decided to give him a blowjob to ease the tension and allow him to cum quick in the first round so he’d last longer during anal. sat back on the edge of his bed, he wore a vest and baggy joggers, awaiting your fingers to unleash his raging boner. you knelt down and flashed a comforting smile to him, which he failed to mirror perfectly.
‘we don’t have to do this if you’re not ready to. I’d never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do.’ you said concerned, stroking his abs, clear to you that he was stressing.
‘nah baby, i want this so bad. it’s just gotta be really special because you’re really special to me.’ he said gripping your chin.
‘i love you, y/n. like a lot.’
‘i know that you weirdo, i love you too, you mean so much to me.’
‘now, lemme show you how much.’ you said coyly, to which he was more than happy to oblige.
when i tell you, your man eats so well that his cum is literally like milk. the typa white, thick, pearly cum that you would swallow every drop of, because it truly is just disrespectful not to. the first time he came was a surprise for the two of you. he didn’t realise how much he loved seeing his cum all over your face, decorating your juicy, wet lips. the head you gave him was so good, he napped for 2 hours straight after you drained him. but that deffo changed him for the better.
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his hobbies include boxing and gaming. he’s such a nerd he makes his own demo projects, playing with his classmates. you always chastise him for not making his hobby a lucrative endeavour - your boy’s got a talent and he doesn’t seem to know it. equally, he loves his legos and comics just as much as he enjoys coding, making you the prettiest bouquet of lego flowers for your first date. after spending some time walking, he took you back to his place and y’all spent the entire night binging his favourite marvel and dc films.
one time it was his birthday and you thought it be a good idea to make a short graphic novel of the journey of your relationship - ending steamily with you pregnant.
‘baby, i love this so much! who knew how sexy you’d look with a baby bump?’ ‘anything can happen in the multiverse’ you laugh, as he kissed your jaw.
‘I’m gonna fuck you so good tonight.’
as we have established, he’s far from experienced. he holds your hand through missionary always because it makes him feel safe. makes so many jokes during it as a way to deflect. lowkey loves being choked. you took the lead most of the time before, using him as a pole and ride the shit out of him.
but, that night he ploughed you with a sense of purpose, so deep and mercilessly that your insides were moulded into an incubator for any hypothetical foetus he would soon impregnate you with. after, he laid curled up next to you, caressing the belly that he had now filled with
‘i hate biology sometimes,’ he says breathlessly. ’you’d look so good with our lil baby growing inside your belly.’
your boyfriend is the goofiest mf ever; playing practical jokes on all his friends and fulfilling his role as your comedian. definitely one of your favourite characteristics of his.
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his sleeper build is INSANE. he might appear tall and lanky, but he is far from it. bench pressing more than 100 kilos with one arm - the brudda is basically superman. he’s what you’d get if clark kent had ginger hair, and was a huge weirdo.
though he cannot dance to save his life. he used to be very awkward and shy, but the minute them clothes are off and you two are in the sheets? stroke game is giving pornstar baby girl lemme tell you! ever since your first time, it’s like you awaken the sexual drive in him that’s been missing all his life. this, paired for his complete adoration for you makes him a lethal weapon in bed - quite literally, your man casually packs an 8 inch pussy destroyer with veins that massage and pummel your gummy walls so well.
after this moment he became the BIGGEST TEASE. slapping his dick all over your face. as you chase his dick like a good puppy, he giggles at how desperate you are. ‘sweet Jesus you feel good’. ‘holy shit’. ‘don’t act like you don’t love it.’ painting hickeys all over your neck . he loves when ppl ask you because of how flustered you get, makes him want to mark you more. he’s no longer shy to the world and he thanks you everyday for that. living to call you princess - in both a mocking and endearing tone, he loved toying with your nipples because you’re his lil doll. in cowgirl he will play with them whilst jerking you off to get you to cum all over his abs. and! he LOVES eating ass - like almost obsessively, as if he’s high of your pussy.
he smells so good. so good. you always act like a bitch in heat whenever he steps out of the shower with a towel skimpily wrapped around his adonis belt.
your bf loves playing with his cum and using his dick as a paintbrush to decorate your belly, butt, and face. ‘my masterpiece’ + ‘my muse’ he professes. somehow managing to entrance you to always stroke his dick during makeout sessions. he brings his hands to play with your hair, knowing that his dick is in extremely good hands with you - literally. always pulling you off of his dick because he is really sensitive and ur mouth is a fucking weapon, but will show you that he’s the boss and could leave you bedridden for a couple days after a good fuck.
things he would say drunk off of eggnog:
‘i would die a happy man beneath those beautiful cheeks of yours’
‘put ur hole on my North Pole.’
‘ay, you Don’t get to call me handsome unless you’re gonna HANDsome of those fat cheeks of yours to my lap.’
‘come on, I’ve been a good boy, Santa says gimme some of that pussy you know I love so much.’
‘that ass of yours, come here lemme unwrap it.’
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this man has you written into his destiny. he always dreamed of raising a son and dressing him up in the flyest outfits and with you, that desire became reality. you too truly are a match made in heaven.
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙
taglist:
@ghostking4m
@gayaristocrat
@lysanderplume
@acoustickitten
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hanniebaeee · 1 month ago
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Clueless: Smitten
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Jeongin x fem!reader
Warning: unhinged group chat as always, other than that, nothing!
Genre: friends to lovers, fluffffff
Summary: You and Jeongin go to the same MMA class, and he is absolutely smitten by you. And you two are good friends too. The problem? You treat him like a child, when all he wants is to ask you out. And that's where his unhinged gang enters.
Clueless Masterlist
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Jeongin wiped the sweat off his brow, giving his opponent a nod after their sparring session, and turned around to see you pulling on your gloves. Your ponytail swayed as you hummed a tune to yourself, and Jeongin swallowed hard.
He did his best to control his impulses (such as the one he had right now to to come over and kiss the hell out of you).
But he was not weak (mostly). He was Yang Jeongin, the future ace of this gym and your soon-to-be love interest - if only he could figure out how to get you to stop patting his head like he's some cute puppy.
“Hey, Innie!” you called out, flashing him a smile that made his knees weak. “Good job!”
He smiled and thanked you, as you came over, and did that one thing that made him want to scream into oblivion. You ruffled his hair with that adoring smile on your face. And it made him feel like a toddler.
As soon as you were out of earshot, Jeongin let out a groan and grabbed his phone. He knew what this would lead to. Obviously. But he needed his brothers.
---
Jeongin: Ok. I'm gonna cry.
Chan: Aren't you at class??
Jeongin: She did it again.
Jeongin: She ruffled my hair. AGAIN.
Hyunjin: LOLLLLLLL
Jeongin: Shut up. I’m serious.
Felix: Omg. Is this the MMA girl?
Jeongin: YES. I can't understand why she treats me like a damn child.
Minho: Because you act like one?
Jeongin: YAH. I need a plan to make her see me as a MAN.
Jisung: Bro, just spar with her and like…accidentally tear your shirt or something. Girls love muscles.
Hyunjin: You do not have the muscles for that to work.
Jeongin: HYUNJIN.
Hyunjin: I’m just saying 🤷‍♂️
Felix: Invite her to dinner! Like, after practice? Nothing says “boyfriend material” like a home-cooked meal.
Seungmin: Cooking takes time. Which he doesn't have. He’s so obviously in the friend zone. He needs something that works fast.
Chan: You’re all missing the point here. Jeongin, be honest. Do you flirt with her?
Jeongin: I TRIED.
Jeongin: I told her she looked good in her gloves once. She said thanks and told me where to buy the same pair.
Minho: Wow. That’s rough.
Hyunjin: Okay, new idea.
Hyunjin: Go alpha on her. Next time you spar, pin her down. Like real close. Look her in the eyes and growl something like, “You’re not getting away from me this time.”
---
Jeongin rolled his eyes. Here we go.
---
Jeongin: That's crazy.
Jisung: No, wait, Hyunjin’s onto something. Girls LOVE dominance.
Chan: Or, you know, you could try talking to her like an adult.
Jeongin: I’m trying, hyung, but every time I look at her, my brain short-circuits.
Felix: Omg wait. This is perfect. You could do the classic “let me fix your form” move.
Felix: Stand behind her, adjust her stance, hands on her hips. It’s foolproof.
Seungmin: It’s not foolproof. He’ll trip over his words and fall on his face.
Jeongin: Oh my God.
Changbin: No, no, I’ve got it. Show up outside her place with some flowers and confess.
Hyunjin: Or better yet, let’s sign you up for a fight. Invite her to watch. Show her you’re tough.
Minho: He’ll get punched once and she’ll call an ambulance.
Jeongin: WHY DO I EVEN ASK YOU PEOPLE.
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The next morning, Jeongin walked into the gym with a nervous buzz, the ideas his brothers had fired at him the night before poking at his brain.
Jisung: Bro. Let me paint you a picture.
Jisung: You’re sparring. She throws a punch. You dodge.
Jisung: Grab her wrist, pull her in close, whisper, “Is that all you’ve got?” Then SMIRK.
Jeongin: Why would I smirk???
Jisung: Because it’s HOT.
Minho: Creepy. Definitely creepy.
Hyunjin: No, he needs to go bolder.
Hyunjin: After sparring, pin her against the wall in the locker room. Close the space, and say, “You drive me insane, you know that?”
Chan: Please do NOT harass her in the locker room.
Felix: Yeah, don’t listen to Hyunjin. What you should do is compliment her strength. Like, “Wow, you’re so strong and gorgeous.”
Seungmin: That’s so cringey. She’ll laugh in his face.
Felix: Okay, why don't you come up with some genius ideas then?!
Changbin: No, listen to me. Women love confidence. Next time you walk in, wink at her. Just a subtle one. She’ll notice.
Jeongin: If I wink at her, she’ll think I have something in my eye.
Jisung: Then STARE at her. Give her those bedroom eyes.
Jeongin: I don’t even know what that means.
Hyunjin: Oh my god. This is so easy. After practice, challenge her to a one-on-one sparring match. Get sweaty. Let her feel your power. And if you win, you say, “Winner gets a kiss.”
Chan: She’ll knock him out first.
Minho: Honestly, I’d pay to see that.
Jeongin: I will block you all.
Hyunjin: NO YOU WON’T. You love us.
---
Jeongin was standing in the gym’s parking lot after his class, trying to call Chan to come pick him up, when he saw you approaching him. You were smiling, your bag on your shoulder, your hair, that's usually in a ponytail, now left open.
“Hey, Jeongin,” you said, your voice light and teasing as usual. “Nice work today. You’re really improving.”
He stuttered a thank you, and smiled at you nervously, his cheeks heating up.
And then it happened.
You reached out, ruffled his hair affectionately, and grinned. “Such a good boy.”
Jeongin froze. His brain short-circuited. Good boy?!
He could literally hear his brothers screaming in his head.
“Say something,” Minho’s voice mocked.
“Pin her!” Hyunjin roared.
“WINK, YOU COWARD!” Jisung howled.
Instead, Jeongin stood there like a statue.
“Innie?” you tilted your head, eyes soft with concern. “You okay?”
That snapped him out of it.
“Y-yeah! Totally fine!” He cleared his throat. This was it. This was his chance to say something smooth.
“Uh…you’re…really so strong and…so gorgeous?”
The moment the words left his mouth, he wanted to die.
You blinked at him. And then, to his utter shock, you laughed - a bright, genuine laugh that made his heart do a somersault.
“Well, thanks, Innie. You’re not so bad yourself.”
As you waved goodbye and walked off, Jeongin leaned against a car, face in his hands.
---
Jeongin: I HATE YOU ALL.
Chan: Ok calm down. What happened?
Jeongin: I TRIED FELIX’S LINE.
Jeongin: SHE LAUGHED AT ME.
Felix: Wait, was it a good laugh or a bad laugh?
Jeongin: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!
Hyunjin: LOL
Changbin: Did you at least wink?
Jeongin: NO.
Jisung: Bro. Amateur move.
Seungmin: Probably should’ve gone with the “winner gets a kiss” idea.
Jeongin: I’M NOT DOING THAT.
Minho: You’re hopeless.
Chan: Guys, come on. Jeongin, did she seem like she was into it?
Jeongin: She called me a ‘good boy’.
Hyunjin: RIP.
Felix: Don’t give up! She laughed. That’s good!
Minho: Yeah, she’s laughing because she thinks he’s a puppy.
Felix: Puppies can grow into wolves, bro.
Jeongin: You’re all insane.
Changbin: Hey, wolves mate for life. Just saying.
Jeongin groaned, shutting his phone. If this was the kind of help he was getting, he might as well wing it.
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Jeongin lay sprawled on his bed, phone in hand, mind racing with thoughts of you. He had officially entered what Jisung would call his ‘simp phase’. Your Instagram page was open, each photo worse than the last - worse because it made him fall harder.
There was one of you holding a tray of cookies, grinning. Another of you proudly presenting a painting up to the camera. The cat one nearly killed him - you were snuggled up with your orange tabby, its paw on your nose as you laughed.
And there was one with the MMA team - you had your arm looped with his in this one, your head tilted slightly towards him. It was a group photo, but that's all he could see. the two of you.
“I love her,” he whispered to himself, then immediately groaned into his pillow. “Oh my god, I love her!!”
---
Jeongin: Guys.
Jeongin: I’m in love with her.
Chan: We know.
Hyunjin: Wait, did you just figure that out?
Jeongin: No, but it’s hitting me all over again. I’m looking at her Instagram.
Jisung: Omg, show us.
Jeongin: No way.
Minho: Wow. Stalking her Insta and gatekeeping? Bold of you.
Jeongin: Shut up. She’s perfect. She bakes. She paints. She loves cats.
Minho: Cats? Suddenly she's a lot more interesting.
Jisung: Innie, DM her something flirty.
Jeongin: That’s so cringey I might die.
Chan: You guys are going to ruin his life.
Hyunjin: He needs to grow a spine. Just do it, Jeongin. Be bold.
Felix: OR…
Felix: Next time she posts something cute, comment something sweet. Like, “You’re so talented.” Compliment her! Girls love compliments.
Seungmin: That’s decent advice.
Jeongin: I can’t do that. She’ll think I’m obsessed.
Minho: You are obsessed.
Jisung: Or… Post a thirst trap. Let her know you’re hot too.
Jeongin: A thirst trap?! Like what?
Jisung: I dunno. Shirtless mirror selfie? Women eat that up.
Changbin: You don’t have enough abs for that.
Jeongin: I DO! STOP ATTACKING ME.
---
The boys were no help, as usual. Jeongin flopped onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He was doomed.
But then, as he refreshed your page, he saw it - a new post.
It was you and your cat again, this time with a caption that read: "My goodest boy 🐾."
Jeongin stared at it. Good boy. Again. The word that haunted his every waking moment. And yet, when you used it like this, he kind of wanted to melt.
He felt his thumb hovering over the like button. His mind raced.
“Cute cat!” No, too boring.
“You’re adorable.” No, too forward.
“Can I be your good boy?” Oh god, Hyunjin was invading his thoughts.
He slapped his phone face-down on the bed.
He couldn’t DM you. He couldn’t comment. What he needed was a real plan to show you he wasn’t just the kid you patted on the head.
---
Hyunjin: New plan. Jeongin, buy her flowers. Deliver them to her home.
Jeongin: That’s not the worst idea.
Jisung: But make it sexy. Like, walk in all sexy and say, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I had to bring you these.”
Jeongin: YOU WANT ME TO DIE.
Felix: Wait! What if you bake her something? She likes baking, right? It’s cute and romantic.
Jeongin: I don’t know how to bake.
Chan: That’s what YouTube is for.
Minho: Or Felix can bake and you can pretend you made it.
Changbin: No way, she’d see through that in a second. She’s too smart for Jeongin’s terrible acting.
Hyunjin: He could dedicate a fight to her.
Hyunjin: Win a match and shout, “That was for you, baby!” She’ll love it.
Seungmin: Or hate it.
Jeongin: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.
Chan: Please don’t listen to him.
Jeongin: Oh my god, my life 😩
Felix: 😅😅😅
Hyunjin: Look, Jeongin, at the end of the day, just be confident. If you act like a man, she’ll treat you like one.
Jeongin: Easy for you to say. You’re not in love with her.
---
Jeongin tossed his phone aside, heart pounding. He didn’t know what his next move would be, but one thing was certain: he was in too deep to back out now.
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The gym that usually buzzed with activity was so quiet now. Jeongin stood across from you in the sparring ring, his gloves up, his nerves barely contained. He couldn’t believe he’d agreed to this.
Sparring with you? His brain was already a mess when you just existed near him. But now, you were in front of him, bouncing lightly on your feet, your focused expression somehow making you look even more stunning.
“Ready, champ?” you teased, your grin playful as you adjusted your gloves.
Jeongin swallowed hard, trying to focus. “Yeah. Ready.”
With a wink, you moved quickly as you circled him. Jeongin mirrored you, trying to keep his stance solid.
It was going fine. Really good actually. You were good with your arms, and he tried to return the pressure, throwing a one-two combo at you. You dodged effortlessly, and then out of nowhere, you hooked your leg behind his, pivoting your hips to execute a perfectly timed trip.
Jeongin yelped as his balance gave out, and suddenly he was on the mat, his back hitting the ground with a loud thud.
“Nice match,” you said, already kneeling over him, one hand braced on the mat beside his head. You leaned over slightly, your face hovering above his. “You okay?”
Jeongin glitched in real time.
It was all too much - your bright eyes, your playful smile, the way a few strands of your hair stuck to your forehead, glistening with sweat. He could feel the heat radiating off your body, and the concern in your voice made his heart stutter.
“I…uh…yeah,” he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper.
You tilted your head and asked, “You sure? I hope nothing hurts?”
“Pretty sure I’m dying,” he muttered, half under his breath, closing his eyes and exhaling loudly.
“What was that?”
“Nothing!” he squeaked, his face burning red.
You laughed softly, leaning back to give him space and extending your hand to help him sit up.
“You did well, Innie. Just gotta work on your balance.”
“Yeah,” he said dumbly, staring up at you like you’d hung the stars in the sky.
You tapped his cheek lightly with your gloved hand. “C’mon, champ. Let’s get you up.”
---
Jeongin: I’m never sparring with her again. Ever.
Hyunjin: What happened?
Jisung: Spill.
Jeongin: She KNOCKED ME DOWN.
Felix: Oh nooooo.
Jeongin: And instead of just walking away and letting me die with dignity, she kneels over me.
Hyunjin: Oh, that sounds spicy.
Jeongin: SPICY?! IT WASN’T SPICY. IT WAS HUMILIATING. She hovered over me with her PERFECT FACE and eyelashes and asked if I was okay. Like I’m some helpless little kitten she rescued from a tree.
Felix: Awwww. That’s so cute!
Jeongin: IT’S NOT CUTE, FELIX. IT’S A CRIME AGAINST MY MASCULINITY.
Seungmin: What masculinity?
Jeongin: SEUNGMIN, I SWEAR.
Minho: You’re spiraling again.
Jeongin: I could smell her shampoo. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
Hyunjin: Uh huh
Felix: She thinks you’re cute AND talented.
Jeongin: I WANT HER TO THINK I’M HOT.
Minho: Maybe try not to land on your ass next time.
Jeongin: Wow, great advice, hyung. I feel so much better.
Hyunjin: Bro. She’s into you.
Jeongin: SHE IS NOT.
Changbin: I mean… isn’t that kind of symbolic? Like, you’re already floored by her?
---
If the locker room was soundproof, Jeongin would've screamed so loud.
---
Jisung: Okay, okay, so she thinks you’re adorable. And a child.
Jisung: But if only she knew that you're basically ready to give her a child
Felix: OMG. Jisung, no.
Jeongin: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!
Jisung: Am I wrong? Didn’t you literally say the other day, you'd do anything for her, even give her your last name and your firstborn child?
Jeongin: THAT WAS A PRIVATE THOUGHT, YOU GREMLIN.
Chan: What the actual fuck is going on in here?
Jisung: Oh, perfect timing, Chan-hyung! Any tips on the said topic? Since you've already done it.
Chan: Jisung. Please.
Felix: 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hyunjin: This is so out of control, and for once it's not me 🤣
Jeongin: EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU IS THE WORST.
Chan: Jeongin. Does she actually think you’re a child, or are you projecting because you’re too scared to confess?
Jeongin: I don’t know.
Changbin: Oh, he knows.
Minho: 100% projecting.
Jeongin: I somehow feel like every time she looks at me she sees a ‘cute little brother type’
Hyunjin: Then you need to show her you’re not a little brother type.
Felix: Exactly! Be confident. Flirt back. Stop acting like she’s going to break you.
Jeongin: She already DOES break me!
Hyunjin: BRO. MAN UP. Or I swear I’ll walk up to her and tell her everything.
Jeongin: IF YOU DO THAT, I WILL END YOU.
Chan: Okay, enough. Stop overthinking it. Just talk to her, show her your genuine self.
Jeongin: But what if I mess up again?
Seungmin: You’ve been messing up this whole time, and she still likes you. You’re fine.
Hyunjin: True. She probably thinks your flustered baby deer energy is charming.
Jeongin: Oh my God
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Jeongin thought he could pull it off. He thought he could just quietly distance himself from you without anyone noticing. After all, it was for the greater good. If he didn’t interact with you, maybe he could convince himself he didn’t feel anything.
But it didn’t take long for the cracks to show.
He started avoiding eye contact at the gym. No more conversations after practice. He skipped group water breaks and focused on solo drills. He even fled the gym the minute his class was done.
And you noticed. Of course you did.
Because he was literally the highlight of your day. Jeongin was a clueless idiot, because he definitely couldn't see how much you adored him, and this distance was getting to you.
---
You leaned against the wall, arms crossed as you watched Jeongin avoid your gaze for the fifth time that day. Normally, he’d flash you his shy smile or wave when you caught him looking. Now? He was all formal, barely sparing you a glance.
Something was definitely up. You waited patiently for him to come to the locker room. And of course he took the long route just to drag it out.
You huffed in annoyance before calling out, “Jeongin!”
He froze, his water bottle hovering close to his lips as he turned toward you like a deer caught in headlights.
“Oh. Uh, hey, Y/N.”
You tilted your head, scrutinizing him as you asked, “Are you okay? You’ve been weird lately.”
“Weird?” he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “No, I’m just… focused on training. That’s all.”
“Focused on training?” You raised an eyebrow. “Ok, so ignoring me is part of that?”
“No! I am not-” His ears turned red as he shook his head no.
You stepped closer, lowering your voice and asked, “Did I do something? Are you upset about the spar-”
“No!” he interrupted, eyes wide. “It’s not you. It’s me.”
You blinked. He did not just say that.
“Did you just hit me with the breakup line?”
Jeongin looked like he wanted to crawl under the mat.
“I…uh…I have to go.” He practically sprinted to the locker room, leaving you standing there, more confused than ever.
---
Jeongin: Guys. I fucked up.
Felix: WHAT DID YOU DO.
Jeongin: She asked if she upset me, and I panicked.
Hyunjin: Wait.
Hyunjin: You did not tell her it’s not her, it’s you.
Jeongin: HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT.
Changbin: OH MY GOD.
Jisung: LMAO. DID YOU REALLY?
Jeongin: I panicked!
Minho: This is officially the funniest thing you’ve ever done.
Chan: Okay, let’s not bully him.
Chan: Jeongin, why are you avoiding her?
Jeongin: Because I don’t want to make things worse. She already treats me like a kid. If I keep acting like an idiot around her, she’s never going to take me seriously.
Seungmin: Avoiding her isn’t going to make her take you seriously either. It’s just going to make her think you’re mad at her.
Jeongin: But what if I do something stupid?
Hyunjin: Bro. You already did the stupid thing. The bar’s on the floor.
Felix: Seriously, just TALK to her.
Jeongin: You say that like it’s easy.
Jisung: Because it is easy. Walk up to her, say, “I think you’re amazing and also I have a huge crush on you. Wanna kiss?” Done.
Jeongin: I’d rather eat a dumbbell.
Minho: Please do.
Felix: Okay, but seriously, Jeongin, if you don’t fix this, she’s going to think you hate her.
Chan: And it's gonna hurt you more than it hurts her. Or whatever.
Jeongin: Fine. I’ll talk to her. But if I embarrass myself, I’m never speaking to any of you again.
Minho: Can’t wait.
---
The next day, you were warming up when Jeongin approached you hesitantly. You glanced up, surprised.
“Oh, look who finally decided to stop ghosting me.” you said, and it broke his heart to see that you weren't giving him your usual smile.
He winced as he said, “I wasn’t ghosting you.”
“Sure felt like it.” You said, crossing your arms. “So what’s going on? And don’t give me the ‘training focus’ excuse again.”
Jeongin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve been… overthinking some stuff.”
“Stuff?” You tilted your head, waiting for him to elaborate.
“You,” he blurted out, then immediately regretted it.
“Me?”
“Yes. I mean -” He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “Look, Y/N. You’re amazing, okay? You’re smart and funny and strong, and you make me feel like an idiot half the time because I don’t know how to act normal around you.”
You blinked, taken aback. “Jeongin -”
“I like you,” he interrupted, words tumbling out in a rush. “A lot. And I know you probably think I’m just some kid, but I’ve been trying so hard to prove I’m not. And it’s probably really obvious now, and I’m sorry if I’ve been weird or -”
“Jeongin.” You stepped closer, cutting him off.
“Sorry.” He looked at you, panic written all over his face.
But you smiled, your heart softening. He was so damn adorable, you wanted to bite him. To say the least.
“You don’t have to prove anything. I never thought of you as just some kid.”
“You didn’t?”
“No. And for the record…” You reached out, ruffling his hair with a grin. “I like you too, Innie.”
Jeongin covered his face with his hands, whining, but he couldn’t stop the huge grin that spread across his face.
"C'mere you," you said, and Jeongin surged into your arms, letting you hug him tight.
---
Jeongin: SHE LIKES ME BACK. OMG. I'M HYPERVENTILATING.
Hyunjin: NO WAY.
Felix: OMG!!! YESS!!!
Jisung: What did you say? How did it happen? Give us details!
Jeongin: I just told her I like her. She said she likes me too.
Chan: See? Told you honesty works.
Hyunjin: So when’s the wedding?
Minho: Well, that's what you get for being such a good boy.
Jeongin: OH MY GOD.
Seungmin: Congrats bro
Changbin: Go celebrate. Go get outta here!
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Divider: @saradika-graphics
Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @eastjonowhere @pixie-felix @sailor--sun @chancloud8 @captainchrisstan
569 notes · View notes
triplefrontierbabe · 27 days ago
Note
Hiii, I would love some lando!smau with imagine inspired by 2hands by tate mcrae, oc could be the singer?
2 hands Lando Norris smau
imagine linked here
summary: you’re a world famous singer dating Lando Norris
pairing: f! singer reader x Lando Norris
warning: slightly suggestive content
disclaimer: all photos are from Instagram and/or Pinterest I take no credit for them
a/n: I’ve seen so many people do their takes on 2 hands so hopefully you babes enjoy!!!
yourusername
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liked by lando, oliviarodrigo and 1, 793, 903 others
yourusername tour has sped by so fast 💫💓
view 1, 702 comments
yourdancer1 I don’t want it to endddd😩
↳ yourusername will the divas survive the end of tour😨
charli_xcx baby’s first world tour
addisonraee mommy
yourfan01 gonna need this tour imprinted in my brain asap
fanofyours0404 what are we supposed to do when this ends
internettroll65 who tf is buying tickets to listen to this mediocre music. she doesn’t even sing
↳ yndefender11 are you ill? she sings hella good and dances better than half of singers these days do
lando
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liked by mclaren, yourdancer2 and 2, 893, 193 others
lando summer break around the world 🌍
view 1, 903 comments
mclaren out here doing side quests
maxfewtrell hmm what you taking a pic of there?
↳ lando the world may never know
danielricciardo lan wear a shirt correctly challenge, level impossible
↳ carlossainz55 🤣🤣🤣🤣
↳ lando damn 🥲
papayababyyy fuck he knows he’s hot
yourusername
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liked by 01ynfan, ynhq and 1, 737 others
yourusername let em all know or whatever
view 992 comments
oliviarodrigo 🤤🤤🤤
larsenthompson so obsessed w you
ynhq let her cook🗣️
ryantedder or whatever 🤣
mclaren cute car
↳ papayagirlie04 help what does this mean
↳ princessofthepaddock what do they know that we don’t
ynfan09 mother back in the studioooo
ynluvr22 whose hands are those
↳ motorsportfan44 I’m starting to think Lando’s esp now that mclaren commented
lando
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liked by yourusername, cota_official and 2, 703, 903 others
lando just having a look around
view 821 comments
texaslonghorns reppin bevo 🤘
mclaren switchin things up for the weekend!!
maxfewtrell man finally put a shirt on
lnfour btw the varsity jacket is on sale, this weekend only!👀
ln4babe he looks like such a frat boy but I fear it’s working 😩
l4ndofan4 is this not basically the same car in yn’s post??
↳ formulagirlie omg wait I think you’re right
yourusername
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liked by sabrinacarpenter, lnfour and 1, 789, 993 others
yourusername buckle up, new music out next month ✨
view 2,883 comments
lando nice car
↳ yourusername thanks
↳ landoloverrr bro was early asf
ynhq I don’t think you guys are ready for this!!!
mclaren hmm fourth pic looks oddly familiar 🤔
ynfan001 my worlds are colliding eeeek
francisca.cgomes suddenly I’m free that day
↳ yourusername as you should be 🤭
yourdancer2 I’m satttt
sabrinacarpenter finalllllyyyyy
formulawagtea i swear if she’s dating Lando I’ll be so pissed
↳ pitstopbaby actually go touch some grass
lando
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liked by danielricciardo, oscarpiastri and 2, 780, 223 others
lando buckled up and ready to go
view 1, 999 comments
oscarpiastri 🤜🤛
mclaren our guys🧡
quadrant wishing for a win this wknd
martingarrix quick ab flex there
↳ lando thought i was slick
lnfour helmet design 🔛🔝
landobabeee okay are we all thinking it’s yn in that pic?
↳ waggossipf1 she’s been pretty quiet on social media lately… 👀
mclrnfan81 lando in his soft launch era
norrisfan01 can he fight????
↳ ynlover56 I was thinking the same 😭
yourusername
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liked by ynhq, lilymhe and 2, 993, 783 others
yourusername 2 hands out now!!!!🧡💛 thx @/lando for the inspiration
view 2, 774 comments
ynhq available on all platforms!!!!!!!
lando happy to be of service
↳ yourusername 😽😽😽
heidiberger_ absolutely in awe of your talent
mclaren catch us listening to this on repeat
addisonraee actually ate and left no crumbs
ynfan11 asdfghjkl is this their hard launch?!!????
papayafan04810 the caption?????? omg?????
pietra.pilao hottest song ever 🔥
↳ yourusername yk it ;)
yourusername on Twitter
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lando
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liked by maxverstappen1, quadrant and 3, 783,221
lando hey siri play 2 hands 🎧
view 3, 803 comments
yourusername meant every word of the song btw
↳ landodiva04 oh I know she gets it every night
↳ papayaluvr idk who’s luckier, her or him
mclaren our champ❤️‍🔥
justaninchident16 so obsessed w this couple
oscarpiastri he’s had this song on repeat all day, no joke
lnfourfan if I were her I too would write a song just about his hands 🤤
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F1 Masterlist | Indycar Masterlist
taglist: @bernelflo @ifyouaintfirstyourelastt @f1updates4you @r0nnsblog
405 notes · View notes
hannieehaee · 3 months ago
Text
TRAINING SEASON (teaser)
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18+ / mdi
summary: unfortunately for vernon, all his friends were gym bros, leading to constant harassment for him to join the lifestyle. after weeks of twelve men constantly bugging at him to accompany them, all it takes is one girl for vernon to finally give in.
content: strangers2friends2lovers!vernon, fitness!reader, vernon's kind of a loser here, reader is friends with the other 12, vernon's not into fitness, downbad!vernon, reader is implied to be into fitness but her body's not really described in any specific way, afab reader, smut, semi-public sex, handjob, kind of sub!vernon, dry humping, penetrative sex, etc.
(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)
wc: 667 (teaser); 9.3k (full fic)
RELEASE DATE: january 7th
or you can check it out on my patreon today by subscribing!
a/n: okay i know the sneak peak is pretty tame and doesnt even include reader but i promise she's in there and that it gets better
masterlist
"C'mon, Nonnie. Come with us. Just this once."
"You don't even have to work out, we just want-"
"No, if I have to work out, he has to work out. You guys have been dragging me with you to engage in your masochist tendencies for weeks. He deserves the same treatment."
Vernon simply groaned at all the noise, uncaring of what Seungkwan, Mingyu and Jeonghan were saying, respectively. Instead, he opted to cover his face with a pillow, attempting to muffle all the noise his friends were making so early in the morning.
Then suddenly, the comfort of his blanket left him, followed by his pillow being pulled from his hold and used to deliver a swift smack against his head before being whisked away and landing on the opposite side of the room.
One more, he groaned, but this time louder. His eyes opened to find the culprit standing above him, squinting due to the sudden surge of sunlight into his vision at having opened his eyes.
"Dude, stop being a lazy piece of shit and come with us," nagged Joshua.
God, how many of them were in his apartment? It was supposed to be just him and Seungkwan who lived here, where did the rest come from?
"What time is it?" he finally grumbled out, sitting up. It's not like he had any options anyway.
"It's 9:16 in the morning," informed him Wonwoo from outside his bedroom. God, was he here too?
"Why are all of you in my apartment? Seungkwan, we agreed that-"
"We all have keys, you idiot. Now get up. We're going to the gym," this time it was Chan.
"Do all twelve of you go to the same gym at the same time? God, they must hate you."
Vernon finally sat up against his headboard, head counting a total of five of his friends currently in his room, assuming the rest to be either in his kitchen or living room.
God damn you, Boo Seungkwan.
"We're pretty well liked, actually."
A few of the members nodded along to Mingyu's rebuttal.
Yeah, that made sense. Twelve muscly and more than objectively attractive men were likely magnets for clientele over at the gym.
All the more reason to not join them.
All his friends were fitness addicts (sans Jeonghan, maybe). Simply gym bros who had developed what Vernon liked to call an unhealthy habit to exercise — despite how ironic that statement sounded. Vernon, on the other hand, had never been one to put too much emphasis on fitness. He liked his build as it was; some slightly toned muscle and a slim frame. He never really saw any need to bulk up like most of his friends, so he never gained an interest for it.
Yet his friends had tried to convince him to join them, time and time again.
Jeonghan had been the one other friend they had to convince to join them. Other than Vernon, Jeonghan was the only other member of their large friend group who had a proclivity against the gym. But his love for spending time with his friends had won him over, making him tag along just for the mere purpose of not feeling FOMO.
Now, Vernon did not have that issue. He didn't mind missing out on hang outs. He was a pretty lowkey, chill guy. Staying at home unless it was vital for him to leave, now that was more up his alley.
Except now he had twelve men nagging at him to get up, put on some basketball shorts and a flimsy tank top and join them at their gym. It had been a few weeks of this insistence, leading to this moment — all his friends breaking into his and Seungkwan's apartment in order to drag him out.
And the sad thing was that it worked. Apparently it took twenty-three consecutive days of bugging at Vernon to convince him of doing something he didn't want to do for him to budge. He hoped this didn't become some sort of pattern.
...
you can check it out today on my patreon by subscribing!
reply if you'd like to be tagged upon its release on tumblr!
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5targh0st · 3 months ago
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NUMBER ONE GIRL (masterlist)
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"Tell me that you need me, tell me that I'm loved..."
pairings: choi yeonjun x fem!reader / lee know x fem!reader
genre: smau, fluff, crack, angst (just a pinch), written portions, non idol au, college au, kind of a band au
warning(s): ignore time stamps, kys/kms jokes, suggestive, implied sexual activity, cringe, bad jokes, random ships, more to add
cast: txt, skz, seventeen, itzy, and a lot more people tbh
summary: life doesn't need to be a rollercoaster, it just needs to be simple and comfortable; that's what minho tells himself everyday. meanwhile, yeonjun is all for the thrill of the moment; he's all up for emotion, drama, and pleasure. two very different worlds that somehow intertwine and, as expected, collide in the most disastrous and cliché way possible. what happens when they find themselves infatuated with the same girl? or the ups and downs of a girl just trying to make it through college, with the added drama of two very stupid guys fighting to win her affections...
status: on going (11.23.24—?)
note: this my first smau so pls expect some errors and be kind, i really hope you enjoy it
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playlist: number one girl
profiles: duck the patriarchy | hos before bros | lets make a band
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fuck him
can't believe i'm saying this
i don't care
no bitches?
arts and shit department
you want me to perform?
she wants me so bad
screaming crying throwing up
she's so cool (written)
who's the girl?
girls' night +hyunjin
you lost that right
you got this babe
does it ever get lonely? (written)
ask her out (written)
omg he's so weird
such a gentleman
he's so nice
getting even
he's a bitch
who tf are you?
you're coming right?
i gave my all (written)
i don't believe you (written)
a date or whatever
just maybe
this is happening
that was low
we're friends
a tiny little kiss
you're mine (written)
i wanna figure this out
this is a party?
drunk af
so cute
i do
leave him alone
feeling feelings (written)
she's not that bad
loyal and kind (written)
it's official
i hate this
what's that?
all in my head
don't come back
kinda surprised
meet THE brother
who's that?
a wedding?
so in love
my date
that's a start
what are you doing?
everybody wants you (written)
i do like her
not again
what can I say?
called it (written)
we're so back
feels impossible (written)
love is in the air
why?
please
the happiest
scheming
it's a secret
happy birthday
a shit ton of coke (written)
secret santa
not without you (written)
hold me
i love you
new friend?
i'll be here
i'm drowning (written)
i know him
come back
stop
don't kick his ass
i hate you
can't let go (written)
don't make me cry
he's just gone
give me a chance
you ruined everything
get her back
it's over (written)
not your choice to make
for the better
be honest
messing with my head
i miss him
he hurt you
this time
number one girl (written)
you're it for me
please don't
let me show you
thinking about it
you'll never be alone (written)
a second chance?
sisters
hate is a strong word
wedding day
who i am (written)
say yes
i want this to work
i want you
stay away
make things right
it's always been you
he really knows me (written)
the end.
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taglist: open! (3/50)
@estella-novella @poetryforthesad @lisaswifey @angelzforu @ihrtlix @gloriousqueenking @domfikeluva @conwunder @miniature-tragedy @jeonginplsholdmyhand @sh0dor1 @yourenzoo @tkshairband @realrintaro @castingjinx @amara-mars @hwangrfrnd @nujeskz @jisungs-iced-americano @zeizeisjy @va1entinaa @beomgyusluver @to-toad @akindaflora @hoefororeo @mandydxndy @nyanamii @delulu4-life @thatonexcgirl @starsunoo @4lndr17 @nbjch05 @borahae-reads @mrsstayfox @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @mrsminseochoi @velvetmoonlght @night-storm7 @lilbrorufr @hyunjinstolemyheart @mangojellyyy @ihrtantn @lausnotverybright @hwangism143 @wa1kinggh0st @skz-ot8-stay @athens-09xx
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psychoticfemmm · 2 months ago
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over my shoulder
pairing: frat!jj maybank x reader
summary: At a wild frat party, you get frustrated with JJ for ignoring you while he hangs with his frat brothers.
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The party was in full swing, music thumping loud enough to rattle the windows, red Solo cups everywhere. You weaved through the throng of people, trying to keep up with JJ as he stopped every five seconds to fist-bump someone, down a beer, or laugh obnoxiously at some inside joke with his frat brothers.
“JJ,” you tugged on his arm, leaning closer so he could hear you. “Can we just hang out for a bit? Alone?”
He grinned at you, but his eyes darted to the pong table across the room. “Just a sec, babe. Gotta crush Pete and Logan real quick. I’ll find you after, okay?”
Before you could respond, he was gone, swept up in the chaos of his fraternity’s party. You exhaled sharply, annoyance bubbling in your chest. Rolling your eyes, you spun around and headed toward your friend, Riley, who was standing near the kitchen.
“JJ ditch you for his bros again?” Riley teased, handing you a fresh drink.
“Shocker, right?” you muttered, taking a sip.
As the two of you talked, a guy wearing a sweatshirt with the logo of JJ’s rival frat strolled up to you, a cocky grin plastered across his face. “Hey, haven’t seen you around here before. You a Chi Alpha girl?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Nope. Just here for the beer pong champion who’s too busy to hang out with me.”
“Ah, classic Delta Nu. They’re always like that,” he said, leaning a little too close. “Maybe you need someone who actually pays attention to you.”
Before you could respond, you heard a familiar voice cut through the music. “Hey, buddy, back off.”
You turned to see JJ storming over, jaw tight and eyes blazing. He shoved the guy back a step, beer sloshing out of the guy’s cup.
“Seriously, JJ?” you snapped, folding your arms.
“He was hitting on you,” JJ said, glaring at the guy.
“Maybe if you weren’t too busy for me, I wouldn’t have to entertain myself!” you shot back.
The guy smirked, clearly enjoying the drama. “Looks like you’ve got some issues to work out, man.”
That was the wrong thing to say. JJ lunged at him, but a few of his brothers grabbed his arms, pulling him back. “Not worth it, bro,” one of them muttered.
JJ huffed, clearly still fuming. He turned back to you, and before you could protest, he grabbed you by the waist and threw you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing.
“JJ! Put me down!” you shouted, pounding your fists on his back.
“Nope. You’re coming with me,” he said, ignoring your protests as he carried you up the stairs to his room.
Once inside, he kicked the door shut and set you down on his bed. “Alright, princess, let’s talk.”
You crossed your arms, still fuming. “Talk? Now you want to talk?”
He stepped closer, his hands on either side of your hips. “I’m sorry, okay? I was being an idiot.”
“Yeah, you were,” you said, turning your head when he leaned in to kiss you.
JJ chuckled, clearly amused by your defiance. “Oh, you’re mad mad, huh?”
“Gee, what gave it away?” you deadpanned.
He cupped your face, forcing you to look at him. “I’m really sorry, babe. Let me make it up to you.”
“How?” you asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.
His lips crashed into yours before you could say anything else. At first, you resisted, but his hand slid down to your waist, pulling you flush against him as his tongue grazed your bottom lip. You couldn’t help the soft gasp that escaped, and he took full advantage, deepening the kiss until your frustration began to melt.
When he pulled back, his lips brushed against your jaw as he murmured, “I’ve been a shitty boyfriend tonight, but let me show you how much I hate when you’re mad at me.”
You swallowed, your annoyance quickly giving way to something else entirely. “This better be good, JJ.”
He smirked, his voice low as he trailed kisses down your neck. “Oh, babe, you won’t be thinking about anyone else by the time I’m done.”
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
let me know if I should do more au's like this⋆. 𐙚 ˚
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bunnwich · 2 months ago
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HELLO! Do you have a summary of how you portray Leona's personality in your stories? I'm a big fan of your Leona and Yuu stories and I've read them multiple times www /gen I always feel like you just nail how he would act and say things and you inspire me to work on my own fics and get better at writing scenarios with him. Than you in advance ily🙏 🦉anon
How I Portray Leona in General and in Romance
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HI ANON! So I've gotten this question a few times and someone in my discord asked me basically the same thing so I'll share with you what I wrote a few months ago about Leona and the general way I write him. (it's quite funny bc a lot of these things come up in Chapter 7 when we see his dream. I AM CURSED WITH APOLLOS'S GIFT OF PROPHECY WITH THIS MAN ISTG)
I hope this is helpful?? I would like to point out that the way I write Leona is fully based on my biases and life experiences. And that a big part of fandom is projecting what you wanna see in characters while still making them feel like the same character we know in canon, yk? Good luck with your fic writing! And thank you!! mwah mwah.💚 --
So Leona takes himself as a direct person, BUT he hides A LOT. He purposely misdirects people to get a reaction out of them. (Ex: pretending to be incompetent to anger someone) or he's playing with them. HE LOVES GAMES. Everyone is a chess piece, he has to feel in control bc that’s all he has ever had over everyone else; his wits. He’s a dickhead. He will say offensive shit to scare people off.
It’s a test to see who sticks around. He has no reservations when it comes to this. You take him as he is. And despite how some people write him he’s kinda silly? Like dad jokes. Why does he joke so much about eating people, who knows? (He says shit like Namby-pamby ffs) Why are you a 40y/o in a 20 y/o body?
I HC he purposely talks casually and gruff to distance himself from his upbringing. (I like to mix proper language and slang with him bc it feels right? Also lots of animal puns, and nicknames. HE'S CORNY AF)
In general, I don't think Leona is an entirely romantic person in canon, however in my timeline, I do HC that he, like Scar has this “want vs need problem” with connection to others. He thinks it's just praise he wants (or to be king) BUT he NEEDS TLC. What was Scar MOST jealous of at the end of the day?? Mufasa’s connections, a ✨queen✨, a family! BEING KING DID NOT MAKE SCAR HAPPY!! He needs to be needed and in Chapter 2 novella, he admits he HAS to numb himself to not care. I feel like this is something he constantly battles with. Yeah, he's lazy but it's partly bc he’s tired. He’s burnt out.
On the surface, he projects 100% nonchalance. He wants you to think everything he says is just "off the cuff", but it's not. He plans everything!!! He’s a mentor, big bro, caretaker. He is not the best at comforting words but he enjoys being a leader bc people appreciate him and look up to him. Something he never got at home.
Leona and ✨Romance✨
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He fools himself into thinking he has the upper hand at first and keeps his distance keeping an eye on the object of his affection. Why would you catch his eye? Well, his greatest strength is picking up on OTHER STRENGTHS. Chessmaster. He is a mentorrrr and caretaker lowkey, he wants others to NEED him and rely on him. HE WANTS YOU TO NEED HIM.
At first, he would place himself in your path, trying to be helpful in a very tsundere type way. But he would still be causal and keep ruffling your feathers to gauge how you feel for him. He guards his heart pretty heavily. And more and more he is slowly collecting info about you he would find more ways for these meetings to happen until he realizes: "Oh shit, I’ve caught feelings." This one is the winner. He’s the king of nonchalance but also...he’s a very overly sensitive person. No doubt he’s freaking out a little, he doesn't wanna screw this up. But, he’d never show it.
I do think he wants to be challenged and given some pushback (insert manga panel about "something being harder to get and therefore is better"), He wants to WORK for it, to prove himself to you that you SHOULD choose him. He wants to impress you. It makes him feel alive. A person who keeps him on his toes.
And once this ”game” of cat and mouse starts to happen. He might start to let his guard down if you are shown you can be trusted with his VERY VERY delicate feelings, that you DO accept his flaws, treat him differently than all others, and see past his gruff demeanor. It is a test of sorts. He is testing that you can “handle” him. MORE GAMES.
He’d let you set the pace though. He won't be the first to give in. To kiss you or confess first. But he would fall first HARD. He’s not been given much one-on-one attention in his life so he would crave that time with you. Physical touch is a big one, but he would not be pushy. He'd tease your boundaries and become addicted to your time together.
But yeah, this push and pull goes on for a while, all the while he’s gauging how you react to this. Memorizing it all.
He’s def one of those texters who erases their sentence like 5 times when they are nervous bc he is cookin' up the RIGHT response to endear you. (Not in a sappy way of course more in a: “I know you miss me, mouse.” snarky sorta way.) Though he can be self-deprecating on bad days. He’ll act confident, though soften up behind closed doors.
I think once he realizes that you have picked up on his simpery and there's no going back...all bets are off. He doubles down, no longer ashamed of hiding it. (Assuming at this point the person has reciprocated these feelings too!) He wants to be yours and he’s not subtle. Someone to be by his side.
Then you get the REAL simp Leona, who lowkey mumbles the sappiest shit to you in his native language when he holds you, (bc he’s still embarrassed to be vulnerable, though this will fade over time) He’ll be your biggest supporter, and wants you around him as much as you can be.
This just keeps going until you're married. Congrats you now have a lion to take care of forever.🦁 Hope this helps!✨
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lorarri · 4 months ago
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★ . . . 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐀 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 , 𝐋𝐒𝟏𝟖
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summary , ferrari's team owners son is exposed for having a fan account for there number one driver and some how they end up fake dating for six months
pairing , heir! lance stroll x fem! f1 driver! reader
series masterlist | main masterlist | sol’s masterlist | f1 masterlist
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yourinstagram
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liked by carlossainz55 lance_stroll 79,479,480 others
yourinstagram a car launch and charity gala like no other 🥂✨
view comments
user the way lance was trying to outbid Y/N the whole charity live stream was so funny to me
user the fact that Y/N and Lance sat at the same table doesn't sit right with me
user okay can we stop talking about the fan boy and talk about MOTHER
user the fact that lance's fan account is still posting about Y/N is WILDDDD
user okay enough of simp boy Y/N ate and left nothing
user the way Carlos and Y/N were side eyeing Lance the whole time was so funny
user I bet Lance was posting on his fan account during his event
user okay but the new car looks sexy af
user okay but imagine if they ended up dating
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MANAGER LUCY
I need you to date Lance Stroll
Y/N
who???
MANAGER LUCY
Lawrance's kid
he got exposed for having a fan account about you
and now he looks like a love sick idiot
and he has apprently been begged his father to get a date with you since you joined the team
but he has only now just given in to giving it to him
Y/N
so I have to go on a date with someone who I have only ever met for less than a day
cuz he got exposed for thirsting over me
and now he wants to date me
MANAGER LUCY
yup
they have sent a contract though
basically be with him for six months
and if you aren't happy by the end of it you can 'break up'
but your main job is to make this overgrown fan boys dream come true
also he is willing to pay alot of money
and you will get a better contact next year
Y/N
okay okay okay
fine
but six months and then I'm done
MANAGER LUCY
good to hear it
I'll send the paper work though in a bit
Y/N
great
also I just stalked his fan account it's actually quite in a weird kinda way
yourinstagram . 2hrs ago
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seen by carlossainz55 landonorris 76,379,279 others
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SIR LANCE-LOT
last week of dating....
LADY Y/N-INNGTON
yeah...
SIR LANCE-LOT
I don’t want this to end
LADY Y/N-INNGTON
me neither....
SIR LANCE-LOT
wanna go skiing
LADY Y/N-INNGTON
sure
but if this is gonna work plz stop with the fan account
I don’t need to lose even more privacy 
SIR LANCE-LOT
but i have 700k followers :(((
LADY Y/N-INNGTON
I’ll buy you a ferrari to make up for it bae and I’ll let you inroduce me as your wifey to people
SIR LANCE-LOT
deal!!!!
no take backies 
lance_stroll
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liked by carlossainz55 lewishamilton 87,480,297 others
lance_stroll look mom I'm a house husband for real now
view comments
user rip YNhusband_real you shall be missed
user bro is really living my dream huh
user nah him in his wag era fr now
user ICONIC
user ugh I don't know who I want more Y/N or Lance
user haters must be salty rn
user this is everything to me
user ferrari better not fuck Y/N strategy or else lance is gonna get them all fired
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screwitbaby · 4 months ago
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naive
hamzahthefantastic x reader (fic)
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day 1/7
[part 2]
summary: a short story about the boys’ trip to curaçao. hamzah’s oblivious with girls and you’re not one to turn down a challenge.
contains: SFW content
wc: 1.8k-ish
~
The first thing that crossed your mind when you met him was that he was hot. Way too hot. Like, he must have the worst personality (and/or stroke game) behind closed doors to still be single. He truly is an enigma.
A pair of pale legs comes between your view of a shirtless Hamzah walking out of the water like he's in a sexy cologne commercial and blocks you from staring at him any longer. You whine and look up to see Martin with his arms crossed over his pasty chest.
"Enjoying the view?" he asks sarcastically. He sits on the beach chair next to yours.
"I was," you say, pulling your sunglasses off your face and placing them atop your head. "Then you had to go and ruin it."
"I think I made it better, actually,” he says. He lays on his side with his hand on his popped hip. You nearly gag.
"Jumpscare warning next time, please?"
"Ha-ha." He flips to lay on his back. "So go to talk to him."
"Hell no," you say. "He needs to come to me."
"You're delusional." Martin shakes his head. "And Hamzah's oblivious. He friendzones every girl he's interested in. It's really painful to watch, honestly."
"This is your best friend you're talking about," you remind Martin. "Shouldn't you at least talk him up to me a bit?"
"I'm not a good liar," he sighs. "But I know one thing."
"And that is?"
"He likes you."
Your head whips in his direction. "Don't mess with me."
"I'm not!" He squeals. "Seriously, he's bad at showing it, but I know him. He gets a certain way around girls he likes."
"You better not be bullshitting me," you point at him. "Because I will be taking that and sprinting with it."
"Mhm, go for it." Martin puts his arms behind his head, acting suave. "I'm good with this type of stuff. It's a heavy gift to bare."
"Didn't Mandy have to make the first move with you?"
"She told you about that?" He sulks. "I told her not to..."
"Bros before hoes." You throw your hands up defensively.
Deciding you've had enough of this rascal, you throw your lacy cover up over your bikini and walk down the beach to meet the object of your desire halfway.
"Hey," you greet, digging your toes in the sand.
"Oh, hey," he replies. You catch a glimpse of him looking at your legs from over his shoulder. "Welcome to my humble abode."
You eye the limp sand castle he's building with one of the empty margarita cups you guys ordered a round of earlier.
"Looks structurally sound," you joke, plopping down next to him.
"It's a work in progress," he defends himself. "Here is the start of the moat, and here's the tower I'ma save a damsel in distress from.”
"And who's the damsel in distress?"
"I don't know," he says, turning to make eye contact with you. "She'll make herself known sooner or later."
You raise your eyebrow and wonder if there's some deeper meaning that you're supposed to decode beneath his expression. Then, you remember Martin's words and shake the thought from your head.
The two of you work on improving his architectural masterpiece. It proves to be a difficult task considering the fact that the ocean waves keep knocking the castle walls down. Perhaps the location should've been reviewed before you sunk so much time into perfecting it. All you know is that every time he leans over to fix something on your side and your thighs make contact, your stomach flutters.
The Curaçao sun sets and you guys pack up your belongings, stopping by the bar to grab one last mixed drink before heading back to the hotel. Martin attempts to carry Mandy bridal style and trips, sending them straight into a bed of flowers. He says it was because of his flip flops in an attempt to cover up how much of a lightweight he is when it comes to alcohol.
With rosy cheeks and tired limbs, you say your goodbyes to the couple at their suite and make your way back to your room. Hamzah offers to walk with you so you're not alone in the dark and you accept his gracious offer because his shirt is tossed over his bare shoulder, long forgotten. Oh, and your safety, of course.
"My feet are killing me," he groans. "I stepped on, like, a billion seashells."
This triggers a "sally sold seashells by the sea shore"-off between the two of you, keeping you entertained while you clumsily make your way up the stairs of the hotel. You may or may not have been swaying your hips a little extra when you were ahead of him.
Hamzah insists on walking you to your room even though his is a floor lower. When you make it to your door together, you say goodnight and enter the air-conditioned room with a sigh.
You immediately strip and step under the shower head, washing the sand and sunscreen off of your body and massaging your sore extremities. You'd gone sight seeing with the whole gang for the past three days and it took a toll on your body. Despite that, you were the happiest you'd been in a long while. It was a good kind of exhausted. Content.
When you step out of the shower and into a complementary robe, you hear a sudden knock on your door. You frown because you were certain you had placed the do-not-disturb sign on the handle. You put slippers on and shuffle over to open it.
"Hey, again," he sighs.
Your eyes widen, "Hamzah. What's wrong?"
"I lost my card for my room," he explains as you let him in. "And my ID's inside, so I couldn't even prove that it's my room to the front desk."
"Shit," is all you can say. "What do we do?"
"I tried calling Martin ‘cause the bookings are in his name, but he didn't pick up. I think they knocked out already."
He sits on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. "And I'm still fucking tipsy."
This makes you laugh, even though you know you should be sympathetic towards the poor guy. He lifts his head to look at you and smiles.
"I'm glad you think this is funny," he says, leaning back on his elbows. "Because in case you hadn't already pieced it together, that means I gotta sleep in here."
Your heart skips a beat and the laughter fades from your throat. "But there's only one bed."
He furrows his brows in thought. "I can sleep at the foot of the bed."
"No, you freak, you're not a dog," you say, sitting beside him. "Y'know what? We'll just share."
"Is that okay with you?" he questions. "I don't wanna, like, overstep..."
"What other choice do we have? And I'm certainly not letting you sleep on the floor."
"I guess you're right."
You both sit still for a moment, eyes on everything except each other. It's cliche, really, but you couldn't let him wake up with a crook in his neck or something. Then the next day of activities would be sullied. At least, that's what you tell yourself.
"So.... can I use your shower?"
"Yeah, go ahead," you say. "But, um, do you want to borrow some clothes, or?"
"I doubt your clothes would fit me." He snorts. "I'll go buy something from the gift shop."
"I think I packed a pair of comfy sleeping shorts if you want to try?"
He shrugs, so you walk over to your luggage and search for the shorts. You find them bunched up underneath one of your dresses and cover your mouth with your palm. It was a good thing they were stretchy because they definitely were not going to be his size.
You hand them to him and he holds them up to inspect them. Then he looks at you with squinted eyes.
"Thanks." He retreats to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. You take a deep breath and decide to go watch some TV.
Once you hear the water turn off, you cross your legs nervously. The door cracks open.
"This is crazy," Hamzah shouts. "They fit!"
He steps out fully and your breath hitches. He stands there, water still dripping from his curls and onto his chest, only in your tight shorts that barely reach the tops of his thick thighs. It was like a replay of the beach, but better. You cross your legs tighter and try to avoid staring for too long.
"Yay."
He dries his hair with the towel and asks if there's a spare toothbrush. You point to the drawer below the sink and avert your gaze when he bends over to grab it. He finishes up and walks over to the bed.
"The shower floor is destroyed. I think I had 3 pounds of sand in between my ass cheeks."
You burst out laughing and so does he, climbing under the sheets. "Me too, honestly."
You sit up against the headboard, watching some random Dutch family show that was on. You don't understand much, but your phone is charging so you have no choice but to tune in. Hamzah pretends he knows what's going on and creates a riveting plot for the characters that is infinitely funnier than whatever they were actually doing. At some point, the both of you start yawning. You decide it's probably best that you sleep, even though every part of you would love to stay up all night and listen to him ramble on.
You grab some pajamas from your suitcase and turn to him.
"Could you...?" You gesture for him to turn around.
"Oh, yeah, course." He lays on his side facing the wall.
You quickly throw on an oversized tee and shorts, wincing when the bands of your underwear smack loudly against your skin.
When you're fully situated in bed next to him, you turn the TV off and nestle into the sheets. You stay on your side and he lays on his back. All there is to hear is the sound of your breaths and the crash of the waves from the open window.
"Today was fun." He yawns, running his palms over his sun-kissed face. "I wish we could stay here forever, just doing stupid tourist-y shit and hanging around the beach."
"I know," you agree. "I'm glad I got to come on this trip with you guys. I really needed it."
Your chin is tucked under the blanket. He blinks slowly and even in the darkness, you see his big brown eyes find yours.
"Well, I'm glad you came, too." You don't know if it's just the amount of drinks consumed between the two of you, but you swear you see his eyes on your lips. "I like spending time with you."
You don't know what to say, so you say nothing at all. He turns onto his side after one final "goodnight" and the two of you fall asleep in the glow of the moonlight.
~
a/n: did i have to include the one bed hotel room cliche? no. did i anyway? i’m just a girl… lmk if u liked it or if u hate my guts and want to curse my bloodline !!!
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