#but i still have friends who i talk to every single day and i have things set up so that i am actually speaking to people like dnd
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muniimyg · 2 days ago
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♡ 05: i bet we'd have really good—
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series m.list // taglist
note: wowie,, thank u for 1.5k and for being so patient 💛 i’m so happy to be ending this mini fic and to have been interacting with u all :) my apologies if this ch sucks LOL i'm so sick rn but i'm tired of rewriting n writing... so enj !!! it's been so fun and i can't wait for more fics to come in 2025 !!! kisses my kitties😽💓
⏱️ this part goes thru time skips!
💭 which bed chem jk moment was ur fave?
warnings: tension/slow burn (friends first yk),, mean!jk trying to figure out how to be nicer to oc,, jk calls oc baby and kitty !!! teasing/dry humping (bc jk has glasses on. jk plays with her titties/nipples & jk cums thru his sweatpants),, jealousy (v teeny tiny),, virginity talk/actual sex; oc loses her virginity to jk (jk eats her out/fingers her, ass slapping, dirty talk, rawdogging,, missionary, doggy, blowjob/headpushing & face cumshot)
//
it’s been a week since jungkook kissed you, and he has made it your problem.
truth be told, he has made a game of this—hovering without hovering… just close enough to test the line. whatever way he plays, jungkook is always shameless in the most subtle and maddening ways.
sometimes his hand brushes yours as you walk, light and fleeting… and it’s impossible not to notice the way his fingers twitch. it’s like he’s debating whether to grab it or not.
you don’t make it any easier on yourself, either.
there’s this suffocating tension between you two and some days are better than others… like today.
“why are you so quiet?” you ask, glancing at him over your shoulder.
he tilts his head, feigning confusion. 
“why? does the silence make your heart race?”
you scoff, rolling your eyes, and that’s when he strikes—his foot nudging yours mid-step. it’s just enough to throw you off balance, making you stumble slightly, your bag slipping again.
“jungkook!”
he’s already reaching out, catching the strap before it can fall. 
“careful,” he says, his voice all mock concern, but the way his lips twitch gives him away.
you glare at him, yanking your bag out of his grip. 
“you’re the one who tripped me.”
“prove it."
"seriously?"
"if you can't prove it... you have to kiss me. you know, as compensation for accusing me so unjustly." he says, wide-eyed and innocent, though the corners of his mouth are curling into a smirk.
it’s infuriating, but it’s also... not. 
not when he’s looking at you like that, like he knows exactly how to get under your skin and is thoroughly enjoying it.
“do friends kiss?” you narrow your gaze at him. “do friends trip each other over? do friends—“
“do friends wait for each other?” jungkook leans towards you. “mhmm? do friends have ulterior motives—”
“you have ulterior motives?”
“oh, absolutely.”
friendship. 
it’s odd to say the least—the way you and jungkook have fallen into this friendship. that’s what you’ve both agreed on. 
friends. 
but the lines are blurry. 
so blurry they might as well not exist at all… because what kind of friends kiss on the cheek as casually as saying hello? what kind of friends text each other goodnight every single evening, or linger too long in conversations that could end with a simple goodbye?
the rules of your agreement feel more like suggestions—ones jungkook seems intent on bending just enough to keep you guessing. and you let him, which might be the strangest part of all.
… because deep down, you know this isn’t just friendship. not with the way he looks at you, his gaze lingering a second too long, or the way his touch always feels like a question he’s waiting for you to answer.
but maybe that’s the thing about blurry lines—they give you just enough room to pretend you don’t already know where you’re headed.
yet, even with all his teasing, there’s a hesitancy to him sometimes—a split-second pause when your hands brush, a quiet shift in his expression when he catches you looking at him. it’s like he’s still figuring out how to balance whatever this is between you, testing the waters but not wanting to dive in too fast.
and honestly?
you feel the same.
it’s why you let him get away with stuff like this. why you don’t pull away when his hand accidentally-on-purpose brushes yours for the third time in as many minutes. why you don’t tell him to stop following you to your study spot or showing up outside your class with some excuse about “just being in the area.”
because the truth is, you like having him around. 
you like the way he keeps you on your toes… even if it’s by trying to trip you up, only to catch you before you fall.
and maybe—just maybe—you like the way his smile softens sometimes when he thinks you’re not looking.
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tonight, the group decides on a night out.
the street food spot everyone agreed on is already buzzing when you get there, the warm glow of string lights crisscrossing above the narrow alleyways, casting soft shadows on the busy stalls below. the air is alive with the scent of sizzling tteokbokki and freshly steamed hotteok, mingling with bursts of laughter and the occasional pop of oil from a nearby grill.
you arrive late as usual. 
by the time you weave your way through the crowd, the others have scattered, splitting up to hunt down whatever caught their eye. 
that’s when you spot him.
jungkook leans lazily against a lamppost near the edge of the main street, one hand tucked into his pocket, the other holding a stick of half-eaten odeng. the glow from the lights above reflects faintly in his dark eyes, making them look warmer than usual, though his expression stays comfortably neutral—like he’s been waiting.
but he doesn’t mind.
“you’re late,” he says as you approach, not even bothering to straighten up. his voice is low, unbothered, but there’s something teasing in the way his lips twitch into the barest hint of a smirk.
“i’m literally 5 minutes late.”
“still late.”
jungkook takes one last bite of the fish cake before tossing the stick into a nearby bin. he steps closer, casual but deliberate, and before you can come up with a snappy reply, he leans down and presses a quick kiss to your cheek.
it’s smooth—too smooth.
it’s like he’s been doing it forever.
you barely have time to register the warmth blooming in your chest before he’s grabbing your hands, shoving them unceremoniously into the front pocket of his hoodie along with his own.
“jungkook—”
“your hands looked cold,” he says simply, his tone light, like this is the most natural thing in the world.
his fingers shift slightly, brushing against yours, and though his expression stays neutral, you catch the subtle curve of his mouth—the smug kind he tries to hide but never quite manages.
you roll your eyes, more out of habit than anything else, and let out a sigh...
but you don’t pull away.
“i have gloves.”
“they're ugly."
you glare at him.
"... and you have me."
the air stills.
“what?” he asks, his shoulder bumping yours as he starts walking, steering you toward the first row of stalls.
“nothing.”
but the corner of your mouth twitches. you try to hold back your smile.
he catches it, of course. 
his grin widens, soft and slow.
jungkook nudges you again, this time with more intention. you can feel the warmth of his hand through the fabric, steady and sure, even as the cold night air bites at your skin.
you can't help but give in. a laugh escapes your lips as you nudge him back. jungkook laughs too, but pulls you close at the very last second.
he breathes you in.
the first stall serves fresh tteokbokki, steaming and spicy. the scent alone makes your stomach growl, but jungkook is already a step ahead, paying for the food before you can reach for your wallet.
“you didn’t have to do that,” you say, trying to grab a pair of chopsticks from the tray.
he beats you to it, of course, picking up a piece of tteokbokki with the kind of exaggerated precision that makes you squint at him. then, he places the chopsticks in between your fingers.
“feed me," he says.
“absolutely not."
he steps closer. 
“okay, fine. i’ll feed you—”
you shove the tteok in his mouth. 
he chews, chuckling and enjoying your choice. 
“you’re so annoying,” you tell him as he swallows.
“really? am i?”
“really. you are."
jungkook shrugs. 
then, he takes the chopsticks and picks up a tteok, and feeds you. he watches closely as you chew, his wide eyes fixed on your face in a way that makes you feel exposed.
“how annoying?”
in between chews, you fixate on his smirk. as he leans into level with you, you almost choke at how his nose nearly brushed yours. you can feel the weight of his gaze, daring you to say something.
“jungkook…” you warn, your voice flat, but your hands betray you. they reach up to cup his cheeks, and though your intention is to shove him back, you don’t.
instead, your thumbs press lightly against the soft skin of his jaw as you squint at him.
“what’s this smile?” you ask, narrowing your eyes. “what are you so excited over, bestie?”
his expression flickers for a second, his brows twitching in annoyance at the word. you know he hates it when you call him that. bestie? who are you even talking to?
“your lips look cold. can i warm them up for you?” he asks suddenly, his voice dropping low enough to send shivers down your spine.
you scoff, warmth creeping up your neck. “nice try—”
“no, no, i insist,” he interrupts, tilting his head slightly, pretending to think it over. “don't want you to be all cold and shit.”
“jungkook.” your tone is sharp, but it’s laced with amusement, and he knows it.
“what?” he murmurs, leaning in closer, his lips curving into a smirk. “you said you want to take things slow. i’ll kiss you real slow—”
your jaw drops. 
“you’re impossible.”
he stands back up with a grin, his hands still in the pocket of his hoodie, keeping yours snugly tucked inside. he rocks back on his heels, clearly pleased with himself. 
“let’s not pretend we don’t know what we know.”
“i don’t know much,” you retort, but the small smile tugging at your lips betrays you. “i’m not a nerd—”
“yah! hurry up!” taehyung’s voice booms from a stall across the street, breaking the moment. you glance over to find him waving dramatically, his other arm slung around yoongi, who looks less than thrilled. 
“we found the mandu!” taehyung adds.
“mandu sounds good,” jungkook says as he gives your hands a small squeeze. then, he gently pulls you toward the others. "let's go." 
“stop dragging me around,” you complain, though you don’t actually try to pull away.
“you’re walking too slow.”
but you aren’t. 
you know you aren’t and so does he… but you let him hold your hand anyway.
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a week later, jungkook feels like he might piss himself.
he leans against the edge of his desk, scrolling through his phone for the 5th time in as many minutes. his thumb hovers over the screen, debating whether to check his messages again, even though he knows there’s no point. 
you haven’t replied yet.
the fundraiser for marine conservation is tonight, and he’s been pretending it’s no big deal... but fuck.
he was so nervous when he asked you to go with him and now he feels like all his efforts are being wasted.
...
“so, uh,” he starts, his voice a little too casual, “there’s this fundraiser gala thing on friday night. save the dolphins thing—a-and… it’s no big deal but—”
you glance at him, eyebrows raised. 
“yeah? sounds fancy.”
he shrugs, keeping his eyes fixed on the road ahead. “i guess it is. it’s a black-tie kind of event… and i, uh… i was thinking... maybe you’d want to come with me?”
you blink, caught off guard by the sudden invite. 
“i hate dolphins.”
“i know.”
you sigh, pretending to be burdened by his request. “but i’ll go. if you want me to.”
“i do want you to.”
“okay.”
“good,” he breathes, glancing over with a lopsided grin that he hopes hides how nervous he actually feels. “you’ll make me look good. people are suckers for pretty dates.”
“oh, so you’re using me as a prop?” you tease, though your lips twitch into a smirk.
“obviously,” he replies smoothly, though his grip on the wheel tightens slightly. “but, hey, it’s a dinner, you get to see my in a tux which is practically dessert—.”
you shake your head, laughing softly. 
“you’re ridiculous.”
“so ridiculous that this can count as our first date?” he presses, glancing over again, this time with a flicker of uncertainty he hopes you don’t catch.
after a beat, you sigh dramatically, turning in your seat to face him. 
“it’s a date.”
just as he’s about to make another comment, you lean over and press a quick kiss to his cheek, catching him completely off guard. his hands freeze on the wheel for half a second before he recovers.
“you missed—”
you laugh and hit his chest. then, he gets out of the car, helps you out, and walks you to your doorstep. 
...
now, as he sits alone in his room, the anticipation bubbling just under his skin, his phone buzzes on the counter. his heart skips for a moment before he grabs it, only to feel it sink as he reads your message.
yn [4:31PM]: nurse said it’s food poisoning  yn [4:32PM]: she gave me some meds to help but i literally feel like shit  yn [4:33PM]: i don’t think i’ll be able to make it tonight, baby :( i’m so sorry nerd [4:34PM]: don’t apologize. i’ll be over in a bit yn [4:35PM]: what ?? no !! get ready for your event. it’s important nerd [4:35PM]: so are u yn [4:36PM]: i’ll survive. go save the dolphins :p
his brows knit together as he reads it again, leaning back into the couch with a frustrated sigh.
he knows he shouldn’t feel disappointed—you can’t control being sick, and it’s not like this event means anything special. 
at least, that’s what he’s been telling himself.
still, he stares at the message for a long moment, debating whether to reply right away or wait a few minutes so he doesn’t seem too eager. his fingers hover over the keyboard before he finally types out a response, keeping it short and light, like he’s unbothered.
nerd [4:40PM]: get some rest. i’ll be telling everyone you ditched me tho  yn [4:41PM]: be sure to let the dolphins know too 🙂
he lets out a chuckle, but the weight in his chest doesn’t go away. 
he tosses his phone onto the coffee table and rakes a hand through his hair, wondering why the idea of showing up without you feels so much worse than he’d expected.
then, his phone buzzes with messages from the fundraiser committee. 
yet, he can only think of you… it’s a sinking feeling in his chest. 
you’re sick. 
the thought of going to that event while you’re home feeling miserable doesn’t sit right with him.
he sighs, grabbing his hoodie and pulling it over his head. he knows this is unprofessional and such an pussy excuse but—forget the event. 
it’s you that matters to him the most right now. 
so, jungkook calls his event and lets them know that something came up. he tosses aside his tux and puts on comfier clothes before heading to the kitchen to make you some chicken noodle soup.
before he heads out, jungkook hears a familiar groan from the living room. he turns, already annoyed, knowing exactly who it is.
jimin and taehyung are stretched out on the couch, looking like they’ve been hit by a truck. 
their faces are pale, eyes glassy with fever, and they groan as they shift under the blanket. it’s obvious they’re just as sick as you, if not worse.
“yo, jungkook,” taehyung calls out, voice nasally, “did you make soup? be a good boy and give us some—” 
jimin, equally pitiful, sits up a little and gives jungkook a pleading look. “yeah, we’re starving, man. plus, you’re not gonna leave us to die alone, right?”
jungkook raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. 
“you won’t die from starvation.”
“how are you so sure?”
“cos i’ll kill you first,” jungkook snorts. “you guys got my girl sick with that stupid omelet you made her.”
the two of them groan in response, sitting up slowly. taehyung rubs his face with his hand. “we didn’t mean to! bro, look at us. you think we wanted this? we’re sick, too, you know.”
“yeah,” jimin adds, “there’s two friends sick here for you to take care of.”
jungkook just looks at them, his gaze hard. 
“who do you think i’m gonna choose right now?”
jimin squints, looking him up and down. “don’t you have that gala tonight?”
jungkook hesitates for a split second, but quickly shakes his head, giving them a dismissive wave. 
“it got canceled.” he lies. 
then, he turns away to head out the door. before he leaves he yells; “i’ll text yoongi hyung to make you some soup. don’t bother me. not coming home tonight.”
about 25 minutes later, jungkook stands in front of your doorway and his gaze falls on you as you open the door.
you're wearing his oversized t-shirt, hair up in a messy bun, and a pair of shorts—looking exhausted and a little pale. his stomach churns with worry, but he keeps his cool as always.
"what are you doing here? the gala..." you trail off, but before he can answer, you quickly turn and rush to the bathroom.
"shit," he mutters under his breath, following you at a steady pace.
when he enters the bathroom, you're already kneeling over the toilet, retching. his heart drops, but he doesn’t flinch. moving to your side, he gently pats your back.
“it was this bad?” he grumbles, a frown pulling at his lips. “why were you downplaying it through text?”
you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, barely acknowledging him.
“i’m fine, seriously. just... just a little nausea.”
“fuck, ___..” he snaps, but his voice isn’t angry, more like exasperated. "this is stupid. you can’t be alone if you can’t even handle standing up to get the door without throwing up. are you fucking serious?." his eyes are narrowing now, the concern clear despite his snappy tone. “what the hell, ___?"
you sit back on the floor, leaning against the wall, your face pale. 
“i already bailed on the date. i couldn’t let you bail on the gala entirely.”
he shoots you a look, incredulous. 
“you think I’d rather be at a gala without you? honestly?”
“i just—"
“shut up,” he interrupts, his voice softer but firm. "you need someone. i’m here. deal with it."
there’s no room for argument in his voice.
you give him a tired smile despite the situation, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. 
“you shouldn’t be here, though.”
“say that again.”
your lips tighten.
then, you gag and rush back to the toilet bowl. jungkook remains by your side, rubbing your back as you deal with another wave of nausea.
the moment is quiet except for the soft sounds of you breathing in between. for a second, it almost feels like everything has stopped, like it’s just the two of you in your small bathroom, nothing else in the world mattering.
after 40 minutes of hovering over the toilet, jungkook gets you settled on the couch.
he brings you water and asks if you’re down for some food. he brought over chicken noodle soup and you need to have something in your stomach before taking your medicine. you simply agree and wait for him to serve you. 
as you eat the soup, he scrolls through netflix and plays something. he talks for most of it and it helps distract you from feeling the full extent of your sickness. after you’ve eaten some of the soup he brought, you ask him to grab the medicine from your bag. 
“can you grab the other medicine bottle from my bag? the one the nurse gave me?”
jungkook, of course, doesn’t hesitate. 
he gets up and finds your bag in your bedroom. he pulls open your bag and begins rummaging through it, looking for the bottle. when his hand brushes against something thick and solid, he pulls out a book titled, “everything you need to know about dolphins a to z.”
his eyebrows furrow for a second as he stares down at it.
he doesn’t know why, but a strange warmth spreads through him. it’s pretty obvious why you have this book—but seeing it in your bag... it makes him pause.
his lips tighten slightly as he puts the book back down in your bag, quickly hiding his reaction. he doesn’t want you to see how much it’s affecting him right now.
when he returns with the medicine, his expression’s back to its usual, nonchalant self. as much as jungkook wants to pretend like he didn’t see it or that seeing it didn’t matter—he can’t. 
to him, it mattered. 
it mattered a lot.
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a few days later, you’re sitting across from jungkook in the library. 
the late afternoon sun streaming through the tall windows and casting a golden glow over the table. textbooks and notebooks are scattered between you, his handwriting messier than yours but still oddly charming. you’re mid-sentence, asking him about his opinion on a the newest theory you learned during your lecture when he suddenly tugs off his crewneck, revealing the black t-shirt clinging to his frame underneath.
it’s warm in the library, the kind of cozy heat that sneaks up on you, and he doesn’t think twice about it. 
but you do.
“woah—” you blurt out, your question forgotten as your gaze catches on his arms. you've seen his tattoos before but for some reason... they look different to you now.
they appeal different to you.
jungkook looks up from his notes, brows raised.
“what?”
you blink, trying to refocus, but your eyes betray you, flickering back to the ink winding its way down his arm. 
“your tattoos,” you say, almost dazed. “they’re... really hot.”
“think so?”
“yeah,” you admit. “gets me horny. ”
you then feel the warmth crawl up your neck as the words leave your mouth. you quickly look back down at your notes, hoping the earth might just swallow you whole.
jungkook freezes for a moment, the tips of his ears turning the faintest shade of pink. then he shakes his head, a small, lopsided smile tugging at his lips. it’s not his usual confident grin—it’s softer, like he’s caught off guard but not in a bad way.
he doesn’t say anything, just ducks his head slightly, the corners of his mouth twitching like he’s trying to hold back a laugh.
you try to ignore the way he shifts in his seat, casually stretching his arms behind his head like he’s showing off—not that he’d ever admit it...
for the next two weeks, jungkook suddenly seems allergic to long sleeves. 
he starts showing up in short-sleeved t-shirts, rolling his sleeves higher than necessary when he wears his uniform jacket, and leaning in just a little closer when he knows your gaze will drift.
“you’re shameless,” you mumble one day, catching him flexing—not subtly—while reaching for a book on the top shelf.
“what?” he asks innocently, glancing down at you with those wide eyes that don’t match the smirk tugging at his lips.
you roll your eyes, biting back a grin.
“you’re annoying.”
“why? are you horny?” he says, his voice low enough to make you want to shove him.
you don’t answer, but the way you avoid his gaze—and the small smile tugging at your lips—says enough. he notices, of course, because he always does.
after a few moments of silence, you huff at him.
"is everything you say always so... dirty?"
he shrugs.
"you brought up being horny first..."
"yeah, but—"
"you think i'm dirty?" jungkook interrupts you. "should i shower?"
you scoff at him. before you can say anything, he adds;
"you’d join me though, right?"
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a month later, jungkook does it again. 
you find yourself standing in the middle of your apartment—he shows up.
your phone is clutched tightly in your hand as you try to blink away the tears threatening to spill. the call you just had—a frustrating, heart-wrenching argument with your family—leaves you feeling raw and small. the weight of their words presses heavily on your chest, and all you can do is stare blankly at the mess of papers scattered on your desk.
a sharp knock on your door pulls you out of your thoughts. you freeze, wiping at your cheeks hastily, but the door creaks open before you can say anything.
"is that my hoodie?"
"jungkook—"
“you haven't been answering my texts all day,” jungkook says, stepping in without waiting for an invitation. he’s holding a bag of takeout.
"everything okay?"
“i’m fine,” you say, your voice shaky despite your best efforts to sound convincing.
he narrows his eyes at you, placing the takeout and hoodie on your coffee table before crossing his arms.
“yeah, no.”
you try to argue, but he’s already moving, shrugging off his jacket and plopping onto the couch like he owns the place.
“whatever it is, you don’t have to talk about it right now,” he says, pulling out containers of food. “but you do have to eat. and i’m not leaving until you do.”
your throat tightens at his matter-of-fact tone, his presence somehow both comforting and overwhelming. he doesn’t pry, doesn’t demand to know what happened.
“you didn’t have to come,” you murmur, sinking onto the couch beside him.
“yeah, i did,” he replies, handing you a pair of chopsticks. “and don’t even think about pretending you’re not hungry.”
a small, shaky laugh escapes you, the tension in your chest loosening just a little.
“you’re so annoying.”
“friends are supposed to annoy each other. learned that shit from you.”
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jungkook’s door swings open with a suddenness that startles him. 
the faint squeak of the hinges cuts through the quiet. he’s mid-motion, towel slung around his neck, tugging a loose white shirt over his head when you stroll in without so much as a knock. he’s also wearing grey sweatpants… 
wet hair, white shirt, and grey sweats? 
the holy trinity.
“you know,” he begins to scold you. “boundaries exist for a reason.”
he shakes his damp hair as you plop onto his bed like it’s yours.
“boundaries?” you scoff, grabbing your plushie. your precious hello kitty plushie. “this is practically my second home.”
he doesn’t argue, just lets out a quiet chuckle as he pulls the hem of his shirt down. 
holding up the plushie like it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever seen. “can i take her home today?”
“sure,” jungkook says, his voice carrying that infuriating mix of teasing confidence and barely veiled challenge. he leans against his desk, arms crossed, watching with a smirk as you clutch the hello kitty plushie tightly to your chest, as if it’s your only lifeline against his charm. 
“can i be your boyfriend today?”
you groan, throwing yourself back onto his bed with a dramatic sigh, the plushie landing on your face. 
“seriously? you’re really holding this poor plushie hostage?”
he laughs, low and amused, pushing off the desk and taking a few steps closer. 
“a deal’s a deal,” he says lightly, but there’s a glint in his eyes as he towers over you. “you can take her home—when you’re my girl.”
you yank the plushie off your face, sitting up sharply. 
“do you think we’re better friends?” you huff, your tone indignant but your heart racing under the weight of his gaze. 
jungkook crouches slightly, leaning in until his face is just a few inches from yours. his smirk softens into something more playful, but the shift in proximity makes your stomach flip. 
“i think so…” he murmurs, his eyes flickering between your face and the plushie pressed against your chest. “aside from me trying to kiss you every chance i get and you being horny every time you see my tattoos—”
you narrow your eyes at him, holding the plushie tighter, as if it’s a shield against the way he’s looking at you. 
“you’re unbelievable.”
“and yet,” he starts, his voice dropping an octave as he moves even closer, one hand bracing on the bed beside your knee, the other reaching out to gently brush his fingers over the plushie’s soft fabric. “here you are.”
his free hand slides around your waist, tugging you just slightly toward him, and your breath hitches. “but if you don’t want her…” he teases, his voice trailing off as his face inches closer to yours. his gaze dips briefly to your lips, and before you can fully process it, he’s leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek.
except you shove hello kitty between you two just in time.
“nope!” you say quickly, holding the plushie up like a barrier, your cheeks flaming as you hear him laugh, the sound vibrating through the air between you.
“seriously?” he says, pulling back just enough to raise an eyebrow, though his grin never falters. his hand stays firm at your waist, his thumb brushing the fabric of your shirt in slow, lazy circles. “you’re really using her to block me?”
“you started it,” you shoot back, glaring at him even as your grip on the plushie tightens.
“fair,” he admits with a chuckle, straightening up slightly but keeping his hold on you. his other hand moves to tap the plushie’s head. “but the deal still stands. not my girlfriend, not your hello kitty.”
“you’re ridiculous.”
he tilts his head, his grin softening, though his hand still lingers at your waist, his warmth impossible to ignore. 
“i don’t know,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost coaxing. “sounds like a pretty good deal to me.”
you glare at him again, this time with less heat, and shove the plushie into his chest.
“you’re insufferable.”
he laughs, taking the plushie from your hands but not letting you go.
“maybe,” he says, “but you’re still here.”
hours later, the room is quiet except for the soft scratch of jungkook’s pen against paper and the occasional shuffle of his chair as he shifts at his desk. you’re curled up on his bed, the hello kitty plushie still clutched against your chest, your breaths slow and steady as sleep overtakes you.
he glances back at you every now and then, a small, unspoken fondness softening his features. when you stir, rubbing your eyes and sitting up, he turns back to his notes, feigning nonchalance.
you pad over to him, your steps muffled against the carpet. without a word, you slip onto his lap, one arm draping lazily over his shoulders as you pluck his glasses from his face.
“good nap?” he asks, his voice a mix of amusement and exasperation as you slide the frames onto your own nose. “those—”
squinting dramatically, you nag him; “ugh, how do you even function with these? everything’s blurry.”
“that’s because they’re prescription, genius,” he says, reaching for them, but you lean back, keeping them out of his reach.
“maybe i’ll keep these,” you tease, poking at the side of his head. “you can’t study without them, can you?”
“give them back, or i’m kicking you off my lap,” he warns, though his hands settle firmly on your waist instead of following through on his threat.
“yeah, sure... because you hate this so much.”
“try me,” he challenges, his grip tightening just slightly as if to prove his point.
“you’re so bossy,” you grumble, sliding the glasses off and placing them haphazardly on his desk. “happy now?”
“ecstatic,” he says dryly, though his lips twitch upward.
you lean closer, your face just inches from his, your playful smirk softening into something quieter, more genuine. 
“you know, you’re really cute when you’re all serious, studious, and grumpy.”
“and you’re kind of annoying when you don’t let me finish studying,” he shoots back, though there’s no real bite to his words.
“fine, fine,” you say, preparing to climb off his lap with exaggerated dramatics. “go be a nerd. i’ll be over there cuddling hello kitty—”
“i could use a 5 minute break.”
you fix your posture, perking up. 
“really?” you tilt your head at him. “i mean… i’d hate to distract you.”
“really?” he mocks you. “you’re sitting on my lap and moving your hips and yet—you’d hate to distract me, huh?”
you nod innocently. then, you shrug and confess;
“i’m bored.”
“what do you want me to do about that? this final is really important—f-fuck. ___, don’t move like that.”
you shift again. 
“like what?”
“you know what you’re—”
“what am i doing?” you ask, leaning your body closer to his. you caress his face and pout at him. “is 5 minutes even considered a break? don’t you need more time?”
“more time for what?” jungkook lowers his gaze at you. 
“i don’t know,” you giggle. “what do you wanna do?”
jungkook can’t take it. 
playing cat and dog or whatever this bullshit is. 
you’re on top of him, prettier than ever. you’re wearing a low-cut tank top with a fucking bow in the middle… and he can’t breathe anything in except you. what is he supposed to do right now? 
“___… if you don’t get off me—”
“if i don’t get off you… what?”
you smile at him softly. shifting again, you drag your hips towards him. his eyes widen. 
“i might cum.”
you pout. “really?”
jungkook swallows. 
“keep moving your hips like that and you’ll find out soon.”
“oh…”
a beat. 
“like this?”
before he knows it, you’re humping him. 
he grunts as he feels himself harden under you. you bite your bottom lip as you drag your hips back and forth. you feel the pressure against your clit as your clothes rub together. 
jungkook hisses at your pace. 
“f-fuck..”
as he bucks his lips, he places his hands on your waist, helping your movement. you let out a few breathy moans and jungkook feels like he could die. 
you’re so pretty. 
his hands tighten around you when he senses that you’re close. 
“am i doing this right? it feels—feels g-good.”
“yeah? feels good, baby?” jungkook breathes.
“mhmm…”
“do you feel my dick?” he asks. “feel how hard it is against your fucking pussy?”
“i do,” you moan. “so big, jungkook. can i take it soon?”
he hisses. 
“promise me,” you whine. “promise me that you’ll fuck me soon.”
jungkook’s breath hitches. 
he was wrong. 
that time he ran his mouth about your virginity being too much or a burden or something—fuck was he wrong. 
it’s not a burden.
it’s the greatest privilege he could ever be given… now to have you like this? begging like that? holy shit is he more than ready to give you anything and everything you want. 
“promise, baby,” he says. “promise it’s gonna be me.”
you nod, happy with his answer. 
and just as you’re about to continue, you take his hands to your tits. first, he squeezes them… then you guide them to the strap of your tank top. taking the cue, jungkook tugs your straps down, revealing your bare tits. 
“___…” he moans. “shit.”
you bring his hands to your tits again, helping him cup them. as you hump him with more intensity, jungkook’s mouth parts. your tits bounce up and down and it sends shivers down his spine. your tits are so full in his hands and so fucking perfect up close. he loves all of it—the shape, the size, the way it feels… so soft. he’s always been an ass type of guy but holy shit—your tits are a game changer for him. 
nevertheless, he tries to focuses on you. 
“bouncy.”
“yeah?” you pant. “you like them?”
jungkook nods pathetically. 
he fights shutting his eyes. he wants to remember all of this. every detail. 
how hard he is right now. how hard your nipples are and how they feel being played in between his fingers. he runs his thumb around them, pressing, squeezing, and tugging… he loves how your moans sound—like they’re music to his ears… he can’t… he can’t picture anything else. he can’t hear anything else. he can’t breathe anything in but you.
“jungkook…” you cry, feeling yourself about to climax.
“s-shit,” he hisses as you begin to whimper. 
the humping is great. 
amazing in fact—but the way you’re whimpering right now? 
fuck.
“jungkook,” you breathe, trying to catch your breath. “a-are you close? mhmmm… f-fuck!” 
you hump him faster and harder. he lets out a few moans before sharply inhaling—
“o-ohh,” jungkook moans. “nghhhh… fuck.”
you grind on him slowly, easing his release. his crotch area is wet, making an obvious stain on his grey sweatpants.
he throws his head back. you lean over and kiss his neck. he bites his lip, attempting to hide his smile. 
a silence fills the room. 
you two are in total disbelief. 
then, you shift and he places his hands on your waist again. 
“did you cum?” 
he lets out a chuckle. “yeah. did you?”
“i think so? i don’t know.”
“sorry,” he sighs, a little disappointed you didn’t get to finish. “do you wanna—”
“it’s fine that i didn’t come. i had fun…”
jungkook shakes his head. “no, it’s okay. i can—”
“can i see?”
jungkook blinks at you. 
“what?”
“you came right?”
“yeah—”
“can i see what your cum looks like?”
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some days with jungkook are so easy, it’s almost laughable.
the dynamic feels less like a friendship and more like a game you’re both playing—teasing, flirting, seeing how far you can push before one of you finally gives in.
but then there are days like this.
it’s been 3 month and a half since the kiss, and the comfort between you has grown in a way that makes everything feel light, almost effortless. you’re more yourself around him, and he’s let down his walls in ways you didn’t even realize were there. 
still, sometimes, you push his buttons just a little too hard.
today is one of those days.
it starts with a series of texts.
your usual banter that, for whatever reason, strikes a nerve.
maybe he’s stressed, or maybe you’re just too good at knowing exactly how to get under his skin. either way, it doesn’t take long before his responses turn clipped, each word laced with an irritation you’re not used to seeing from him.
yn [1:41PM]: C₄₃H₆₆N₁₂O₁₂S₂ nerd [1:48PM]: 😳 yn [1:50PM]: am i speaking ur language  nerd [1:53PM]: fluently, yes yn [1:54PM]: cool. dohwan taught me it  yn [1:55PM]: what does it mean nerd [1:59PM]: not funny. yn [2:00PM]: why am i laughing then seen yn [2:01PM]: aw don’t get all mad nerd [2:08PM]: not mad. jus uninterested in this topic. yn [2:10PM]: i’m sorry seen yn [2:14PM]: sorry :(  yn [2:15PM]: jungkook !!! yn [2:16PM]: wanna make out? typing… nerd [2:21PM]: yes
you don’t mean for it to escalate, but by the time you realize he’s genuinely annoyed, it’s too late to fix it over text. you bite your lip, staring at your phone, debating your next move.
and then, because you’re you, you grab your bag and head straight for his lab.
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jungkook’s reputation precedes him on campus.
professors practically gloat about having him in their classes, like his achievements are trophies they get to display. it isn’t just his grades or his research—it’s the way he carries himself. sure, he's a little antisocial but he's focused, driven, and somehow still effortlessly cool.
you always knew he was smart, but seeing him in his element, tucked away in the chemistry lab during his solo hours, is something else entirely.
the lab is a world of its own.
notes scrawled in sharp, precise handwriting cover the workspace, surrounded by neatly labeled vials, bubbling solutions, and meticulous arrangements of equipment.
jungkook stands at the center of it all, wearing a crisp lab coat with the sleeves rolled up just enough to reveal the ink decorating his forearms. protective goggles perch on his nose, and his brows furrow as he scribbles something into a notebook. he’s intimidatingly focused, and for a moment, you hesitate in the doorway.
he notices the movement immediately, his sharp eyes snapping up to meet yours. for a beat, his expression doesn’t change, and your stomach churns with nerves under his scrutinizing gaze.
“what are you doing here?”
“i, uh…” you shift awkwardly, trying to find your footing under his intense stare. “i wanted to check on you. you seemed upset earlier.”
jungkook exhales, a hand dragging through his dark hair, slightly disheveling the strands sticking out under the goggles. his posture stiffens slightly before he stands straighter, folding his arms across his chest. 
“i’m fine,” he says, the words clipped and automatic, like he’s said them a hundred times before.
he doesn’t look at you again after that, instead turning back to the dense notebook in front of him. his pen taps against the edge of the table, a sharp, rhythmic sound that fills the silence between you.
you glance around, taking in the scrawled notes and bubbling glassware, and suddenly, you feel like an intruder.
this isn’t just a workspace; it’s his domain, and you’re a trespasser.
“right,” you whisper. “sorry. i just—”
your words catch as his head snaps up again, this time really looking at you. his dark eyes flick to the way you stand there, hands shoved deep into your jacket pockets, shoulders hunched slightly, and chewing the inside of your cheek.
the tension in his jaw softens, and he exhales again, but this time, it’s quieter, almost resigned. his shoulders relax as he sets the pen down, giving you his full attention now.
“do you want a tour?” he asks, his voice losing some of its earlier sharpness.
you blink at him, caught off guard. 
“really?”
he shrugs, a small, almost reluctant smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
“yeah. just… don’t touch anything.”
you hesitate, unsure if this is a genuine offer or just him humoring you. but the way his gaze lingers—softer now, like he’s extending an olive branch—makes you take a small step forward.
“you’re sure?” you ask cautiously, your weight shifting between your feet.
“wouldn’t have offered if i wasn’t,” he says, already turning to gather a few items from the cluttered table.
his words are casual, but there’s something unspoken in the way he says them. it’s as if he’s acknowledging your effort without outright saying it, inviting you into a space you know he doesn’t share lightly.
“okay,” you say softly, stepping closer as he gestures to the setup in front of him.
jungkook guides you through the lab, his hand casually finding its way to the small of your back as he gestures to the next setup. the touch is subtle but grounding, the heat of his palm against your waist sending a quick flutter of awareness through you. his fingers rest there, steady, as he moves you along with a quiet confidence, his focus more on the equipment than the way your heart picks up its pace.
“this is my catalytic synthesis project,” he starts, motioning to the crowded workspace. his tone is calmer now, almost instructional as if falling into the rhythm of explaining makes it easier to let his guard down.
as he starts detailing his work, his body language shifts. his shoulders loosen, and the furrow in his brow disappears as he picks up a flask of pale yellow liquid. his hand moves with precise confidence, holding it up to the light as if to showcase his work.
“what does that even mean?” you ask, leaning in closer to inspect the array of equipment.
“it’s about creating biodiesel,” he explains, holding up a sheet of paper covered in equations and diagrams. “basically, i’m optimizing the reaction process to make it more efficient. fewer byproducts, higher yield.”
you blink, squinting at the equations like they might magically make sense. 
“that’s cool… i think. but how do you even do that?”
he chuckles, the sound low and surprisingly soft. 
“this,” he says, holding the flask again. “this is the feedstock. it’s like the base oil we start with. i mix it with methanol and a catalyst—”
“wait,” you interrupt, raising a hand. “what’s a catalyst?”
his lips twitch into a small grin, clearly amused by your cluelessness. 
“a catalyst is a substance that speeds up a chemical reaction without being consumed in the process.”
you nod as if you understand, but the tilt of your head gives you away.
jungkook sets the flask down and leans a hip against the table, crossing his arms loosely. “okay, think of it like this. imagine you’re cooking something. the catalyst is like the pan—it doesn’t get eaten, but it helps everything cook faster.”
“ohhh,” you say, the metaphor finally clicking. “why didn’t you just say that from the start?”
he raises an eyebrow, biting back a grin. “because i thought you were smart enough to keep up.”
“wow,” you deadpan, crossing your arms. “i come here to check on you, and this is the thanks i get?”
he shakes his head, a quiet laugh escaping him as he nudges your shoulder lightly with his. “first of all, you annoyed me. second of all, you’re the one who wanted a tour. i’m just giving you the full experience.”
“oh, sorry—” you let out a shallow laugh. “should i leave then—”
jungkook shakes his head and points to another setup—a small beaker bubbling over a hot plate. 
“look! this is the reaction in progress. that bubbling? that’s the methanol reacting with the oil. and over there,” he gestures to a series of tubes and a larger flask, “that’s where i separate the biodiesel from the glycerol. basically, the good stuff from the leftovers.”
you narrow your eyes at the apparatus. “this still sounds like you’re making moonshine.”
jungkook snorts, shaking his head. “i’m not making moonshine.”
“sure,” you mutter, your lips curving into a teasing smile. “that’s what someone making moonshine would say.”
he rolls his eyes, but the faint smile pulling at his lips betrays him. 
“you’re really annoying today.”
“you like me, though,” you shoot back, leaning against the table with newfound confidence.
jungkook pauses, his gaze lingering on you for just a moment too long. his lips part, and you catch a flicker of something in his expression—something softer, almost vulnerable.
“yeah,” he says quietly, almost under his breath, before turning back to his work. “i guess i do.”
as you lean over a neighboring table to inspect a beaker filled with an ominous-looking solution, your elbow bumps against it, sending it teetering dangerously close to the edge. the moment stretches out, everything moving in slow motion.
his words catch you off guard.
what did he just say?
holy—
“shit!” you yelp, reaching out instinctively to steady it. but before you can, the beaker tips over completely, the sulfuric acid inside spilling onto the floor—and dangerously close to your feet.
jungkook moves faster than you expect, his hand darting out to grab your arm as he yanks you backward with enough force to make you stumble into his chest. the acid splashes onto his hand as it hits the ground, and the sharp crack of shattering glass fills the room.
he flinches, a quiet hiss slipping through his teeth as he pulls his hand back.
“oh my god, jungkook!” you gasp, panic knotting your stomach. his hand lingers briefly on your arm before he steps away, already moving toward the nearest sink.
“stay there,” he orders, his voice clipped but steady, as he flips on the cold water and thrusts his hand under the stream.
your eyes are locked on his injured hand, where faint discoloration is already starting to show.
“are you okay? does it hurt?” you ask, your voice shaky.
“it’s fine,” he says tightly, jaw clenched as the water rushes over his skin. “are you okay? nothing got on you, right?”
you take a step closer, your gaze flicking between his face and his hand. he looks calm—too calm—but the way his lips press into a thin line tells you otherwise.
“no. nothing got on me… jungkook,” you say softly, guilt and worry twisting in your chest. “i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean to—”
“don’t,” he cuts you off, shaking his head as he grabs a paper towel to dry his hand. his voice isn’t harsh, but there’s an edge to it, like he’s holding something back. “this is why i don’t give tours.”
you wince, the weight of his words making you shrink slightly. “i—i’ll make it up to you,” you blurt, your voice desperate to fix this. “whatever you want.”
he glances at you then, finally letting out a soft, exasperated laugh. his expression softens, the corners of his lips twitching into a faint smirk. 
“you’re giving me that much power?”
“jungkook,” you warn, narrowing your eyes, but your voice wavers. you’re still too focused on his hand, your own tightening into fists at your sides. “this is serious. do you want to go to nurse or hospital or something—”
“relax baby,” he says, his tone lighter now as he flexes his fingers experimentally. “it’s not that bad. really. it was just sulfuric acid.”
“acid—”
“stop,” jungkook sighs. “seriously. it’s okay.”
“you shouldn’t have done that though,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. 
he shakes his head, smiling faintly—half amused, half surprised by your concern. 
“what, and let you burn yourself instead?”
a beat.
"i'm dating a klutz," he chuckles, the words slipping out so naturally it takes you both a second to realize what he’s just said. his eyes widen slightly, but instead of backpedaling, "guess i should get used to you fucking my shit up, right?"
your chest tightens.
dating?
jungkook clears his throat. 
“don't over think it," jungkook grumbles.
"jungkook—"
he doesn’t let you finish, his jaw tightening.
“___, what are you doing here if you don’t think we’re dating?”
“what does that even mean?” you fire back, crossing your arms defensively. “you can’t just say shit like that and expect me not to overthink it.”
“then maybe don’t think so much,” he mutters under his breath. "you're good at that anyway."
“don’t think?!” you huff incredulously, stepping closer. “jungkook, you’re impossible.”
he glares at you, setting down the equipment with a loud clink. “and you’re confusing. ___, you’re acting like—”
“acting like what?”
“like you don’t want this.”
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the tension doesn’t ease as you both leave the lab. 
he grabs his bag, muttering something about not wanting to talk here, and before you can argue, he’s already halfway down the corridor. you jog to keep up with his long strides, half-annoyed, half-confused, as he leads you across campus.
the walk is silent, save for the occasional rustle of leaves or the faint chatter of students in the distance. his jaw is tight, his shoulders stiff, and you can tell he’s barely holding himself together.
“jungkook...” you try, your voice softer this time, but he doesn’t respond, doesn’t even glance back.
by the time you reach his place, your confusion has morphed into frustration. 
he unlocks the door without a word, stepping inside and leaving it open for you to follow.
you hesitate for a moment, then step in, the familiar scent of his space wrapping around you. before you can say anything, he drops his bag on the floor and turns to you, his expression unreadable.
“sit,” he orders, pointing to his bed.
your brows knit together.
“i’m not a dog,” you snap, but the weight in his tone makes you obey anyway. you sit at the edge of his bed, crossing your arms and glaring up at him.
he exhales sharply, running a hand through his already messy hair. his pacing starts then, a restless back-and-forth motion across the small room. the air feels heavy, thick with unspoken words and the lingering tension from earlier.
“okay,” he starts, his voice low and strained. “let’s just… get this out in the open.”
you raise a brow, waiting for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t. instead, he keeps pacing, his hand dragging down his face as if he’s trying to physically pull the words out of himself.
“get what out in the open?” you prod, your frustration bubbling to the surface. “jungkook, what’s your deal? one second you’re fine, and the next—”
“fine?” he cuts you off, his tone sharper now. he stops pacing to face you, his hands planted on his hips. “you think i’m fine?”
you blink, taken aback.
“well, no, obviously not. but you’re also not making any sense—”
“you want to talk about making sense?” he scoffs, a bitter laugh escaping him. “you’re the one who’s impossible, you know that? one minute you’re here, acting like we’re—like this is something, and the next you’re…”
“the next i’m what?” you challenge, standing now. “go ahead, say it.”
jungkook looks at your sternly. then, he gives you his heart.
“i can’t keep doing this, ___. i need to know—are you in or are you out? because i get the whole wanting to make me miserable part. i get it. i’ve been awful to you. i’ve put words in your mouth and i’ve said shit that i can’t take back… but i’m trying. it feels like you aren’t.”
the weight of his words crashes over you, leaving you rooted in place. you want to respond, to say something, but the lump in your throat won’t budge.
he steps closer, his eyes searching yours.
“just… tell me what you want. because if you don’t want me, i need to know now.”
the silence stretches between you, thick and suffocating. you feel his gaze burning into you, his desperation palpable.
“i don’t know how to have you,” you say, your voice breaking slightly.
his shoulders drop, and for the first time since this started, he looks less angry and more… hurt.
“what do you mean?” he asks, his tone gentler now.
“i don’t know,” you breathe. “i’ve never… gone this far. guys give up after the chase… you’re… you’re still here. what happens now? sex?”
he shrugs. "is that all you want?"
"no."
"then no."
silence.
“___, i'm here. i've come this far and i want to go further. sex or not—whatever,” he says, taking another step closer, his hand reaching out to lightly brush against your arm. “is that what scares you?”
you nod.
“am i… am i supposed to just—” your chest tightens, and the room feels too small, too charged. his words hang in the air, and you know there’s no going back after this. “i don’t know—”
“why are you here, ___?”
“you asked me that already.” you retort.
“yeah, and you didn’t answer,” he shoots back.
you sigh, exasperated. “i’m here because—i don’t know… you’re my friend, okay? or whatever.”
his laugh is sharp and humorless. “friend. right.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?”
“it means i don’t want to be your friend,” he says plainly, his eyes burning into yours. “i haven’t wanted that for a while now.”
your breath catches. “jungkook—”
he steps closer, and for a moment, you think he might kiss you. but he stops just short, his voice low and rough. 
“i want you to stop pretending like there’s nothing here. i want you to stop running every time i get close.”
you open your mouth to argue, but the words catch in your throat.
“again, if you don’t want this—me—then tell me,” he continues, his voice softening. “but don’t keep showing up, acting like i don’t drive you as crazy as you drive me. don’t… please, don’t make me feel stupid.”
the room feels too small, the air too thick.
jungkook’s hand lingers on your arm, his touch grounding even as your heart races wildly. his dark eyes search yours, flickering with emotions you can’t fully decipher—hurt, hope, frustration.
“you don’t have to know everything right now,” he says softly, his voice carrying a steadiness that contrasts with the storm raging between you. “i’m not asking for perfect, ___. i’m not even asking for easy. i just…” he exhales shakily, the vulnerability in his tone cutting through your defenses. “i just need to know you’re willing to try.”
your throat tightens, his words hitting you in a place you’ve tried so hard to ignore. the thought of trying—of letting yourself fall completely, with no safety net—terrifies you. but the thought of him walking away? it’s unbearable.
“i want you,” you whisper, the fear laced in your voice so raw it feels like you’ve just exposed every guarded corner of yourself. “i want you, jungkook.”
his fingers trail down your arm, stopping just above your wrist. 
“say it again,” he says, his tone almost exasperated, but not unkind. “please?”
you bite your lip, the weight of his words pressing down on you. everything about this moment feels pivotal, like a single word could either shatter or rebuild everything between you.
“i want you, jungkook,” you admit, your voice trembling but resolute. “i… i want us.”
his expression softens, relief washing over his features like a tidal wave.
“good,” he murmurs, stepping closer, so close that his scent—clean, familiar, entirely jungkook—invades your senses. then, his hands come up, gently cradling your face as he tilts your chin up to meet his gaze.
“i… i want us too. i think it’s all i ever really wanted. to be yours…”
his thumbs stroke your cheeks, and before you can overthink it, he leans in, pressing his forehead against yours. the tension in the room shifts, softening but no less charged.
“does this mean i get to take hello kitty home today?” you whisper, your voice barely audible. 
“is that all you really care about?” he says, a small, lopsided smile tugging at his lips. 
“i care about other things.”
“like what?”
“like you.”
and then he kisses you.
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you and jungkook have been dating for 6 months when you suddenly say; "happy 6 months, baby! wanna have sex?"
jungkook practically jolts out of his bed and takes the plushie. he places it on his desk and turns hello kitty over to face the wall. (no, you haven't taken it home. for some reason, it suits being in jungkook's room more than yours).
you laugh as he turns back to you and says;
"good timing, ___. i'm ovulating."
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jungkook can't breathe.
… and you? you never expected it to feel this way. 
the thrill of it… the intensity—the intimacy. 
as jungkook towers over you, he pulls his shirt over his head. the minute his chest is bare, your hands find your way to roam around his body. his abs, his biceps, and down his—
“wait,” jungkook pleads, eyes hungrily looking into yours. “wanna take this slow with you. wanna do it right for you.”
you nod slowly, understanding what he means. 
the truth is; your virginity is your virginity.
there isn’t much to it aside from that the fact that it’s not taken. you were never wronged but you were also never pursued right… sure, it’s special… but it isn’t everything. 
jungkook treats it like it is though. 
you don’t mind. 
for the past 6 months, he's been really careful with how he acts around you sexually. sure, a few pussy eating moments and heated make outs have been happening... but not the full thing. actually, you've never really seen jungkook's dick yet.
he refuses to let you give him a blowjob.
said something about how easy it is for him to cum at the thought of you—he isn't ready to embarrass himself in front of you just yet.
but today, at your 6 month mark, it's different.
jungkook can't hold it in anymore and you showed up extra pretty. you planned this, didn't you?
(yes.)
gently, he helps you undress.
he takes your shirt off for you and takes a deep breath when you arch your back for him to unclasp your bra. nervously, he does so. then, he tosses your bra aside and takes in the view. 
the prettiest fucking tits he’s ever seen. 
jungkook reaches, cupping and squeezing your boobs. you watch him as he does so, unsure of what to do. 
he then lowers himself, placing kisses over your tits and down your stomach. positioning himself more comfortably, he finds himself in between your legs. lifting them up, he takes your pants off… then, his eyes flicker from you to your panties. 
his fingers play with the hem of your panties. then, he scrunches them together, tugging them up so your folds are exposed. 
“fuck,” jungkook groans. “so pretty…”
“yeah?” 
“yeah,” he breathes, watching your pussy begin to swell. “think your kitty can be good for me? think you can be patient? that’s it… good kitty.”
you tilt your chin down to look at him. 
he’s licking his lips, lowering himself down to your pussy. 
“be a good kitty, okay?” he says, as he begins to massage your pussy with his hands. your panties are still on so the friction of the fabric make you a little annoyed. 
aren’t you having sex soon?
shoudn’t this shit be off be now?
“jungkook—”
“i know, baby,” jungkook pouts at you. “i know it’s hard to wait… look at your pussy… so wet and your panties aren’t even off.”
“i get more wet than this?”
“if i play my cards right, yeah.”
you whimper. “please, jungkook… just.. take them off.”
“you want me to?”
“yes,” you huff. “want you to take my panties off.”
he nods slowly… as if he’s thinking about something—considering something.
then, he decides to give in. 
jungkook tugs your panties down entirely, leaving your pussy out in the open. he throws his head back in admiration. it’s like he’s been hit by cupid or something.
without warning, he buries his face inside. 
jungkook begins with a couple licks and spreading your folds a part. his tongue brushes against your clit—up, down, side to side—everywhere. god, you feel him everywhere. after a few licking and sucking moments, he pulls away and rubs his thumb against your clit. he spits on your pussy—letting his saliva drool down slowly. 
you watch. 
“you like that, baby? you like when i spit in your pussy?”
tongue-tied, you nod obediently. 
he grins before giving in again. 
jungkook eats you up, devouring every inch of your pussy. before you know it, he’s shoving a finger inside you as he sucks on your clit. you almost yelp at the sensation—a feeling completely new to you. 
“ohhh… yeah… f-feels so good, jungkook…” you moan, throwing your head back. 
honestly, the added finger burns. 
but he’s gentle with it. he moves his finger inside you with lots of intentions. he gradually shoves it in deeper and deeper too.. it just… it feels good. 
so good. 
you throw your head back and grab a fist full of his hair. 
“uh, uhhhh… mhmfffph—” you moan. “ohhh…. f-fuck…”
jungkook looks up and watches the way your lips twitch. how your body reacts to him eating you out… and it all just boosts his ego. 
he’s so glad to be here. 
jungkook then pulls away, taking his tongue out of the equation. he focuses on fingering you, making sure you’re enjoying the way it feels. you two catch each others gaze and continue to look into each others eyes. 
as jungkook picks up the pace fingering you, you bite your lip and love the way his eyebrows furrow in concentration. 
“f-fuck,” you utter. “i’m gonna—o-ohhh!”
you cum on his fingers. 
jungkook pulls them out, taking your cum and spreading it around your folds. he massages it in like lube before taking his fingers to his mouth. 
he tastes you. 
then, before you can catch your breath, jungkook leans down and kisses you. 
he kisses you deeply. 
when he pulls away, you ask; “c-can we…”
jungkook chuckles. 
“soon,” he assures you, tucking your hair behind your ear. he presses his lips against your cheek. 
then, his lips find yours with a hesitance that feels almost reverent, like he’s afraid to ruin something sacred. and then, slowly, he deepens the kiss—tentative at first, but with a growing confidence that feels utterly jungkook.
it’s the kind of kiss that feels like discovery. like he’s studying every angle, every curve, every reaction, cataloging them in his mind like a scholar with his favorite subject. his hands hold you as if you’re delicate but unshakable all at once, his thumbs brushing tenderly against your jawline.
when he tilts his head, changing the angle, it’s with a deliberate slowness, as though he’s savoring the moment, pulling apart the layers of this kiss to commit it to memory. you can feel the way his lips curve faintly against yours, like he’s smiling, like he’s finding joy in every second of this new experiment.
and you realize—he’s not just kissing you. 
he’s learning you.
nerd.
you gasp when he pulls you closer, your arms instinctively wrapping around his body. his lips part slightly, and the way he kisses you now feels like a question, like he’s asking for something without saying a word.
he’s meticulous, like he wants to explore every inch of you through this kiss, leaving no detail untouched. the way he holds you is tender but firm, grounding you while setting your pulse on fire.
when he finally pulls back, his breathing is uneven, his forehead pressing lightly against yours. his eyes flutter open, and they’re soft, full of something you can’t quite name but feel all the same.
“i want you forever,” he murmurs, his voice low and thick with awe, as though he’s just unraveled the world’s most beautiful equation. 
you giggle at him. “great. can we start now?”
“way to kill the mood—”
“please, for the love of god!” you squirm. “fuck me already.”
jungkook can’t help but laugh. 
but he gives in. 
jungkook shifts out of his pants, revealing his hard cock. 
you stare at it.
it's pretty.
it's thick all around and his tip looks like it's angry. you like the way it looks though... looks delicious. his cock has you completely mesmerized. you almost want to crawl to it but he saves you the journey as he brings it close to you. 
truth be told, jungkook's a little nervous.. he doesn't want to fuck this up.
“you know…” he begins, as he jerks himself off in front of you. “i want to be mean. like, really fucking mean. i want to make you beg. i want to make you choke on my fucking cock and have you scream my name but—fuck, ___… i look at you and i can’t…. i can’t even do all i want with our fucking foreplay because i fold so easily when it comes to you. you want me to fuck you? fine. i’ll fuck you.”
“be mean,” you whimper. “come on. don’t be a pussy. just because this is my first time—f-fuck! holy shit, jungkook—”
jungkook has slowly puts his cock inside you. 
you gasp for air. 
he caresses your face as you adjust to him being inside you. then, he drags his tongue around your neck. he sucks on it a bit, causing you to grip the sheets.
“o-oh my… j-jungkook…”
“you okay, baby?” he asks, slightly moving himself in deeper. 
you take a deep breath and exhale from your mouth. “f-fuck…”
he’s so big. 
you can feel every curve of his dick and vein. when his tip entered, it felt funny. like, uncomfortable but also really fucking good. as he begins to thrust in and out, you breathe through the sharpness of his movement. 
“hurts…” you confess. 
jungkook shifts, and kisses your neck. against your skin, he murmurs; “i’m sorry, baby… do you want me to—”
“no,” you tell him, as you open your legs wider. you wrap yourself around him and hold on tight. “think… think i’m okay. can you move more?”
jungkook nods and kisses you once more. 
he begins to fuck you.
slowly but surely… he begins to drill himself into you. 
missionary isn’t his favourite but having you this way… especially for your first time? god, did he love this. as you dig your nails into his back, you whimper every time he thrusts back inside you. 
“f-fuck,” you moan. “jungkook… it’s…”
“what?” he almost panics. “a-are you okay?”
“yeah,” you breathe. “it feels good now… can you… go harder?”
jungkook hisses, feeling like he could lose his mind. 
“can we switch position?” he pitches.
you agree.
jungkook then pulls out of you, and you suddenly feel the emptiness. he goes on his knees and takes you by your waist, guiding you to turn over and go on all fours. 
doggy. 
jungkook helps you position yourself before angling himself. he licks his hand and spreads your entrance. he then guides his dick inside you. as he begins to thrust, you suddenly feel him reach around and start to rub your clit…
and oh my god. 
does it feel heavenly. 
“oh,” you hum. “feels so good.”
jungkook leans over, and kisses your shoulder. as he pulls away, he takes his other hand and grabs a fistfull of your hair. he pulls your hair back and you moan at the tightness. 
“you like that, my little bitch?” he grunts as he fucks you. 
he feels your pussy clench. then, he smriks. 
“oh? you like being called a little bitch, huh?” jungkook then takes his hand off your clit and uses it to slap your ass. "my fucking cockslut. always so fucking horny but you're just a little dirty minded virgin, right? not anymore, okay? i'm taking it. taking all your sticky fucking cum. you're all mine, baby. you know that, right? you're mine, bitch."
smack. 
your pussy tightens around his cock again. 
smack. 
you moan his name. 
“jungkook…”
he inshales shaprly and moves both hands and grabs your waist. he pulls you into him with each trust, adding more intensity. 
jungkook fucks you harder and harder and you can’t help but love the way it feels. you moan his name, whimpering pleads like; “please… please, fuck me harder.” you can’t help it… it’s the way that his hard cock feels inside you that make you say shit like that. it’s the way that his hands roam around your body and you feel him everywhere… because he is everywhere. 
his mind goes dizzy. 
he goes blank actually. 
then, when you reach back and wrap your arms around the back of your thighs—jungkook feels like he might lose it. 
how do you know how to move like that?
god, you’re so hot. 
“mhmm. that’s it…. fucking me so good, nerd.”
then, jungkook loses it. 
like… really. 
he fucks you harder and harder until you’re whimpering his name and almost near tears. he doesn’t realize how hard he’s fucking you until you’re near climax—
“i’m cumming!” you cry. “baby, i’m gonna—ahh, a-ahhh! fuck..”
it happens so fast. 
suddenly, you cum and you lose your balance. 
jungkook helps you lay down properly. he gets on top, continuing to fuck you in missionary. he fucks you through your orgasm. as you catch your breath, you feel him hiss against your skin. 
“fuck.”
just then, jungkook pulls out. 
as he jerks himself off, you tug on his hand and pout at him. he tilts his head, a little confused but quickly catches on. 
“cum right on me?”
(i mean, camaraderie)
a few seconds later, jungkook straddles your face. 
he places his dick inside you mouth and you focus on licking the tip of his dick. you do it softly, not adding much pressure. it sends shivers down his spine… then, you use the topside of oyur tongue to add more stimulation. you dig your face deep, licking his balls a little. 
he moans. 
you suck him off—slow but so fucking intense. 
jungkook can’t take it.
he places one hand on the back of your head and helps control how deep you take him. 
his dick reaches the back of your throat and it’s fucking toe-curling for jungkook. you take him in so good. as you suck him off, he can’t help but not last long. 
“ahh–aahhhh.. f-fuck—” jungkook moans deeply. “nghhh.... fuck, ___! holy fucking shit...”
jungkook pulls out seconds later and cums all over your face.
as his cum drips down your face, you catch it with your finger and look at it. 
“ohh,” you pant. “that’s what cum looks like…”
jungkook rolls his eyes at you before dipping his head low and kissing you. you two laugh as you pull away, completely in disbelief of everything that had just happened.
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1 month later...
“you’re such a bad boyfriend,” you say, crossing your arms dramatically as you sit on the couch, watching jungkook fiddle with the back of your laptop.
he pauses, turning his head slowly to look at you over his shoulder. his glasses are sliding down his nose, his hair is a bit messy from pushing it back so many times, and he looks entirely unimpressed.
“bad boyfriend?” he repeats, sounding genuinely offended. “you asked me to fix your laptop. i'm a chem major, not tech.”
“smart boyfriends are supposed to be well rounded."
he glares at you. "again. you asked me to fix your laptop. i'm doing my best, baby."
"yeah, but like... i asked you over an hour ago,” you tease, leaning back and pretending to sigh. “you’ve been ignoring me ever since.”
“ignoring you?” he scoffs, turning back to the tangled mess of wires. “i’m literally upgrading your RAM so you can stop complaining about how slow it is. if anything, i’m the best boyfriend.”
you hum thoughtfully, pretending to consider it. “debatable. the best boyfriend wouldn’t make me sit here in silence while he nerds out over motherboards or whatever.”
“okay, first of all,” he says, setting the screwdriver down and turning to you fully now, “it’s not ‘whatever.’ this is your motherboard’s lifeline. without it, you don’t get to binge your little dramas.”
“so you’re saying you’re not doing this for me—you’re doing it for the laptop?”
“i’m doing it so you don’t keep stealing my ipad to ‘watch just one more episode’ and kill my battery in two hours,” he fires back, but there’s a little smirk tugging at the corner of his lips now.
you tilt your head, grinning. “i think you just proved my point.”
“fine,” he says, pulling his glasses off and tossing them onto the table. “what do i have to do to reclaim my best boyfriend title, huh? flowers? chocolates? fixing this annoying laptop isn’t enough?”
“hmm,” you pretend to think. “i’d say… maybe you stop being a nerd for five minutes and come cuddle me instead.”
he rolls his eyes but moves toward you anyway, tugging you into his lap without hesitation.
“there,” he says, wrapping his arms around you as you snuggle into his chest. “am i forgiven, or do i need to sit in front of a claw machine and lose $200 again?”
“hmm,” you hum, grinning as you tap your chin. “hello kitty does look a little lonely. but maybe she deserves a friend when you really screw up.”
“you’re planning for that?” he asks, incredulous.
“not planning,” you tease, shrugging. “just preparing. i’ve already picked cinnamon roll for when you really drop the ball.”
he stares at you for a long moment, narrowing his eyes. “you know, this feels like extortion. i bet you mess with me on purpose just to stock up on plushies.”
“maybe,” you say sweetly, poking his cheek. “but you can’t prove it.”
he sighs, leaning his head back against the couch dramatically.
“great. i’m dating a scam artist.”
“you’re dating a genius,” you correct, grinning.
“genius or not,” he counters, tightening his hold on you, “you’re stuck with me.”
you tilt your head up to look at him, biting back a laugh at the slight pout on his lips.
“wow, jungkook, that’s so nerdy of you.”
he groans, letting his head fall against your shoulder.
“i’m never fixing your laptop again. let me know when you need help naming all the isomers of butanol—"
"baby, did you hear that?"
"hear what?"
"you put the dolphins to sleep. good job! yay, your marine conservation bullshit finally came in handy—"
"wanna break up?"
"meanie."
"you're mean."
"sure, let's break up," you tell him. "how about never?"
"never?" jungkook asks, tucking your hair behind your ears. "sounds good."
you glance at him, a playful smirk tugging at your lips.
"it's you, me, and the fucking dolphins forever, nerd."
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no-144444 · 3 days ago
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prince charming- l.norris
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summary: lando brings his niece to the ballet, who knew he'd find love?
pairing: lando norris x fem! ballerina! reader
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Another show finished, another day done. All you had to do was meet some children and show them around the stage. It was a thing the company had decided to do after every single show, and you were one of the only ballerinas who enjoyed it. Everyone else ran out of there as fast as they could, but you stayed around, in full costume, showing them everything. 
“Y/n! Y/n! Look!” Mila, the little girl that had been assigned to you pulled on your hand and you followed her over. “It’s your Prince Charming!” She pointed at your co-star, Richard, who was playing Prince Charming while you played Cinderella. He was lovely and one of your best friends, but Mila’s face fell when she saw him kiss another girl, aka his actual girlfriend Mia. “He’s kissing someone else!” she gasped, looking at you hurt. 
You smiled. “We’re only together in the show, remember? My name isn’t Cinderella, is it?” You chuckled and she nodded, laughing. “So, that’s Richard, and he’s Mia’s real-life Prince Charming, not mine.”
She nodded understandingly. “Do you have a Prince Charming?”
You internally cringed, why did kids always want to know about your love-life? “No,” you smiled. 
Her face lit up. “OH! Perfect! Uncle Lala!” she called for her uncle to come over as your face fell. “Uncle Lala will you be Y/n’s Prince Charming so she can be my Auntie and we can have fun forever?!” 
Mila’s excited face and the ridiculousness of her statement, reminding him she truly didn’t know how the world worked, made him giggle. And with Lando, when he starts, he doesn’t stop. It took a whole minute for him to stop laughing, while you sat there awkwardly. You knew who he was, you knew why he was laughing, but it was still rude. Just say no, dude. 
“Mila, it doesn’t work like that,” he explained. “She’s way too pretty for me,” he whispered, sitting down beside her, and in front of you. 
Your eyes widened and you looked down, confused at the entire situation. 
“I know she is,” Mila answered (subtle dig at her uncle, but alright). “But you could ask her to dance or something. Princesses like dancing.”
Lando shook his head. “I’m an awful dancer.”
“Why do you just try talking to her!” Mila scoffed, then ran off to go look at some of the set of the show. 
You looked up and met his eyes and you both started laughing. “I’m so sorry about her, she gets like this sometimes,” he admitted, a slight blush on his cheeks. 
“It’s alright, it happens sometimes,” you waved him off, an easy smile on your face. 
“You get hit on through people’s nieces a lot?” he questioned. 
You chuckled. “It’s more common than you think, people love the ballerina shtick.”
He laughed. “How old are you?”
“I’m 23,” you answered. “And I’m Y/n.”
“I’m Lando,” he held his hand out to be shaken. “Nice to meet you.”
“NIce to meet you too,” you smiled, shaking his hand. “Congratulations on the year you’ve had.”
“You watch F1?”
You nodded. “My mom has been into it since she was a kid, she gave that to me, so… yeah.”
“Who’s your favourite driver?” he smirked and you chuckled. 
“Nico Hulkenberg,” you smirked. 
He chuckled. “Understandable,” he smiled, nodding. “Mila is probably off somewhere trying to destroy your set, I should probably go grab her.”
You both got up and smiled at each other. “It was nice to meet you.”
“It was nice to meet you too, Prince Charming,” you joked, he giggled. 
And that was that. 
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For the next few days, Lando could not get you out of his head. You were funny, kind, beautiful, good with Mila, everything he wanted in a person, yet he’d let you slip away. You weren’t even on social media, but he followed the company’s instagram and some of your friends to see pictures of you. He decided, once the season ended, he’d go back and find you. Maybe he really could become your Prince Charming. 
He joined the rest of the crowd in their standing ovation as you bowed, smiling brightly. He waited around and followed a few more people backstage to finally see you again. 
“Lando?” you questioned as you looked at him from behind. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you again,” he shrugged. “Happy holidays.”
You smiled. “So it is true,” your eyes shone with a hint of mischief. “You did follow the company account.”
He screwed his face up in a half-smile-half-grimace, he’d been caught. “You don’t have a public account, thought it would be weird to follow you on your private one.”
You chuckled. “I would’ve let you follow me,” you told him. “You are my Prince Charming, right?”
He beamed. “Right,” he nodded. “Dinner?”
“Let me get out of costume,” you agreed. You started to walk off and he didn’t follow, unsure what to do. You turned back and grabbed his hand. “Come on!”
He was very happy he had brought Mila to the ballet.
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
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uravitypng · 2 days ago
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soulmate hanta who is completely oblivious to that fact that he is your soulmate. everybody is born with a soulmate mark, a scribble of words that are the first words your soulmate utters to you placed somewhere along your hip. hanta sero who is nonchalant and chill about things that he doesn't realise he's already met his soulmate. they met on the first day of ua and he didn't even notice, and you... well you noticed but how could you tell him.
everyone's going around introducing themselves, he doesn't introduce himself though. your bag was neatly tucked away under your desk, already ready to start class when hanta somehow tripped over it, he caught himself in the last minute
"fuck, that could've gone really bad." he grinned at you and you were too stunned to speak, your body felt warm, like fireworks exploding and the warmth left over from sparklers their bright vivid colours flowing through you, you found your soulmate. you didn't get the chance to reply to him, an authoritative voice started speaking, aizawa sensei, and then class started.
you tried really bad to talk to him but he oozed of confidence and friendless, if the roles were reversed and you tripped over his bag you don't even think you would of been able to say something, you'd probably just rush off in embarrassment. he jokes around with everyone and you fade away in the background, you didn't even mean to, it wasn't your intention, you told yourself that when you started ua and started the hero course you'd put yourself out there more but that changed when the idea of talking to your soulmate was so daunting.
soulmate hanta who lays in his hammock with his arm of his face, groaning because you are just so adorable! and you won't talk to him, you're quiet anyway but around him it's like you don't say anything. he doesn't even know if he's ever heard you talk. he frowns at the idea that you won't talk to him because you don't like him, he wants you to like him, he wants you to talk to him! everything about you leaves him in a tizzy- the way you smile, your laugh, your anime pins stuck to your bag, how you got bakugou to open up to you even before kirishima. he can't explain it but he just wants to be near you.
you want to be near him, you want to ask him about his favourite manga, you want to know more about him but you conclude your soulmate wants nothing to do with you. you've only spoken to him once, a month into meeting each other, and he didn't say anything about your mark. he didn't have any reaction. you were talking to bakugou, arguing over who did better in the practical today out of the two of you and you're too involved in proving that you were better that you don't realise hanta and kaminari have walked up to you both. you've spoken to kaminari on a couple of occasions he's nice but a bit too complimentary to girls for your liking and you haven't said one single word to hanta, overthinking every little thing. "oi, you two which one of us was stronger today in our practical?" bakugou shouts over to them.
you don't remember kaminari's response, you remember hanta's, "i mean you're good bakugou but she's miles ahead of you." your heart soars, you don't think you've ever been so happy in your life. shouting ensues, lots of shouting, bakugou calling hanta blind and various other insults.
over all that you say, "thanks sero, you were great too," the end of your sentence gets quieter and you stutter more. they can barely hear you over all the shouting. hanta doesn't look at you or make any acknowledge of what you just said, like 'oh hey, that's what my soulmate mark says' nothing. he heard you but he didn't want anything to do with you. the rejection hurt but you knew something like this would happen, you never expected him to like you but you would've liked him to say something like 'i'm not interested but i still want to be friends with you.'
the lack of any acknowledge on his behalf made it clear to you and you don't want to disrespect his wishes, if he doesn't want to get to know you then you won't force yourself into his life. what you didn't realise is your soulmate didn't even hear what you said... he didn't reject you at all he just didn't hear.
five minutes beforehand he was almost dragging denki by his sleeve over to you and bakugou because he wants to talk to you. he's had this warm fuzzy feeling from the first moment he's seen you and it's just grown and grown.
soulmate hanta is buzzing now that everyone is moving into dorms because surely that means you'll have to talk to him.
soulmate hanta who inserts himself into your life. that anime pin on your bag? he's asking if you've read the manga. he's making teasing jabs at bakugou with you about how his cooking for everyone gives it away that he loves all of the class, bakugou always tells him to fuck off and you have a fit of giggles. he gives you ideas when he can see you're struggling and hit a road block with your hero costume support items. he'll swing you with him to the roof of tallest towers in the city and talk for hours until the sun comes up about the future and plans for being a pro. he's loud and sociable and brings you out of your shell to speak up when he can see that you want but are too afraid to, he's there to give you a push but also relax with you in the dorms when he can tell that you don't have the energy for everyone. he'll bring snacks and you'll watch films and he'll speak to you gently and soothingly that puts your mind at ease when you get overwhelmed. he'll read you manga while you rest your head on his lap and you'll get overly competitive when it comes to mario kart.
you don't understand why your soulmate had this change of mindset about you, maybe it's because you're all living together but now you have him in your life you're not jeopardising that. the time you share with everyone is amazing, and the time you and hanta share with everyone is amazing but when you're just together alone that amazing turns into perfection. you want to bottle up those moments with a glass and keep them forever.
falling in love with hanta didn't surprise you, you knew it would happen sooner or later. you never spoke to each other about being soulmates or relationships (you thought you knew why) you didn't engage in conversations with the rest of the class about it either. you didn't want to put hanta on the spot like that, 'yeah, i've found my soulmate guys, i spend every day with him but he rejected me. oh look! here he comes now, hi sero!' you were wrong though. it didn't happen like you thought it did.
soulmate hanta who isn't just called 'hanta' in your head but when you speak to him or about him, after eight years of knowing each other you've gotten past the use of family names. the first time he heard you speak it his heart skipped a beat. your heads were pressed together and you were under a blanket asleep. you both drifted off at some point during film night, it was time for you both to start joint patrol so you woke him up, whispering his name. you joined the same agency so that meant you liked doing as much joint patrol with each other as possible.
soulmate hanta who's never been in a relationship before and is a complete virgin. he doesn't care about other girls, not even to look their way for a night, all he cares about is you. the idea of even dating a girl riddles him with guilt over how he wishes it was you. hanta is fully aware that you've never been in a relationship either.
soulmate hanta can't bare to look you in the eyes and hear about the person you love or how you're yearning to find your soulmate. he couldn't bare that pain. the idea that you have someone out there- it kills him. in that sense he's insecure, he knows he should be supportive and ask about your soulmate, it seems that every other person has had at least one conversation about it but he just can't. you've never even had a relationship and he knows he should ask why but then you might ask him the same question and the reason would be- you.
the thought that his words may be written on your hip never cross his mind, he's never been in denial that he loves you but he never thought it was reciprocated.
the thought that he himself has a soulmate never, even for a second, flits through in his mind. he doesn't think he's met them and he doesn't care if he does. they won't be you.
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yamumsyadadd · 21 hours ago
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the forgotten girl (2)
posted originally on my old account. will be posting twice weekly :)
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Amelia Scott-Higgins was a person a lot of people looked up too. The winner of the 2019 Ballon d’Or who was just 21 at the time. She was an inspiration on and off the field, so you can imagine everyone’s shock when she disappeared. Only a few know the gruesome details of her injuries, and those happen to be Barcelona players Lucy Bronze and Keira Walsh. Alexia Putellas had always admired her, as a person and a player. 
“Do you think we could convince her to join us? We need a striker and she is the best!” Jana excitedly said to Alexia, Mapi and Ingrid as they walked into the locker room. 
“No, she was the best. Past tense.” Ingrid said. 
“Ale you could totally convince her! You guys were friends no?” Jana’s words were loud through the quiet locker room. 
“Who are you convincing?” The English accent through the Spanish was still very clear to this day and unmistakably came from Lucy. 
“Amelia Scott-Higgins! She’s living in Barcelona and Ale used to be her friend! We need her Luce!” 
“No. Understand what I am about to say. No one here is to contact Milly and ask her to play. No one is to ask her to come to a game or to hang out. She has been through enough and you will all leave her the hell alone.” Keira spoke extremely firmly. No one has heard her talk like that before. 
“Kei, come on they don’t know.” 
“That’s exactly right Lucy. They don’t know. You all think she’s this amazing footballer and want her to play, but she went through some fucked up shit. She doesn’t want to play, she doesn’t want to watch. She wants to be left alone so that’s exactly what everyone is going to do: leave her alone.” The locker door slammed as Keira left. She would protect Amelia now, since she couldn’t before. 
Before it all happened, Keira, Leah and Amelia were inseparable. The group was formed at a football event the first year Amelia moved over to the UK, in 2014, at just 16 years old. Emily played with Man City, alongside Keira, Lucy and Georgia. Despite playing at different clubs, they always made time for each other. The unlikely friendship with Alexia Putellas started in 2017, after both signing with Nike and having to do a campaign. Both girls were socially awkward, they sat in silence for most the day until Alexia invited Amelia to dinner. From there on out, they were very close friends. 
Alexia struggled with the fame, Amelia did not. She was able to offer advice to Alexia, sharing ways to keep relationships private, or how to compartmentalise. Alexia didn’t even get a text off of Amelia when it all happened. She had flown to England to attend the funeral. A numb, bruised and bandaged shell of a friend stood before them all. 
“You knew Amelia?” Olga asked quietly over dinner the night after their run in. 
“Yeah. I knew both Amelia and Emily.” The sadness evident in Alexia’s voice. 
“Why’d she quit? I googled her. She won the Ballon d’Or and UEFAs best player. What happened?” 
“Her wife was murdered and she was hurt. I don’t even think I can begin to explain the type of player she was. She was easily the best player the world has ever seen. No matter what, she worked hard. She cared, if a person got hurt you’d know because Amelia was there first. After her opponents lost, she wouldn’t celebrate her win, she’d go around and tell them everything they did well, hug them and let them cry. I went to the funeral, she was just a shell. Covered in bruises and bandages, in a wheelchair. Then she just vanished. On the first anniversary of Emily’s death, she deleted every single social media she had, changed her number and quit football. I hadnt seen her since, apparently Keira and Lucy hadn’t either.” 
“that’s a lot for one person to go through. Where are her parents?” 
“Doesn’t have any. They died when she was little, from what she shared she was in foster care in Australia until they let her come to the UK”
“Maybe you should invite her for dinner? She could use a friend.”
“No. YOU should invite her. You’re someone who she doesn’t know and you two seemed to hit it off.” 
Olga didn’t tell Alexia, or anyone for that matter, but Amelia had followed her on instagram that night after they met. Seemingly on a private, almost anonymous account. Olga had no plans to force Amelia back into football or back into Alexia’s life, but the more she learnt the more she wanted to ensure she wasn’t alone in this world. 
Every morning, Alexia would run along the beach. It was usually quiet and calm since Spain generally didn’t wake up until later in the morning. Every morning, she would watch the same surfer. Scars scattered on her legs, one long scar from the back of her hip, across her torso. Alexia knew it was Amelia, but she never stopped to say hello, not until that morning. 
The morning that would change things. 
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renthony · 3 days ago
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Considering the fact that there's still ongoing waves of covid, bird flu is an active concern, and I'm disabled, no, I don't have in-person social life. And since people refuse to mask up, get vaccinated, or offer virtual participation in things anymore, my attempts to find wider social groups keep getting hamstrung. It sucks. A lot.
I've thought about joining the local French conversation group, but they don't have any covid safety protocols in place. I've thought about going to the weekly free art classes at the comic school, but they aren't covid-safe either, so I just watch the recordings when they upload them on YouTube later. I've thought about going to multiple groups at the local queer community center, but when I asked if they had covid safety protocols, their excuse was that "Ron DeSantis banned mask mandates, so we don't do that anymore," instead of doing literally anything to fight DeSantis. I keep thinking about going back to my theatre & stage combat troupe at the ren faire, but I got sick after the show every single year pre-covid and I cannot risk that "faire crud" being covid proper. I just can't.
I am an active member of a union, but that doesn't count for this poll because I exclusively participate online by video calling into meetings. I play D&D with my parents and siblings every week, but that doesn't count because they're family. I talk to multiple friends and family members every day and regularly check in with folks, but it doesn't count because it's on my phone. I hang out with my housemates and we do all kinds of things together, but that doesn't count because they're the people I live with.
I am being as social as I safely can. It feels really shitty that so many people think it isn't good enough. It feels really shitty to constantly feel like my choices are "be a weird angry shut-in" or "elevate my covid exposure risk." It feels like there's no winning.
If you genuinely believe that it's important for people to have in-person social outlets (and I do agree!), here's what you need to be doing:
Follow the People's CDC's Safer In-Person Gatherings guide (which is due to be updated for 2025 soon).
Get your updated covid booster. People aren't getting their updated vaccines, and it's a problem. If it is available to you, you need to GO. GET. YOUR. BOOSTER. And get your flu shot while you're at it.
Advocate for improved air filtration in the space you want people to meet in. Push for air purifiers if the HVAC system can't be fully upgraded. Help make Corsi-Rosenthal boxes.
At gatherings, provide FREE high-quality N95 masks for people who may not be able to access them. Get some for yourself if you can, and actually wear the fucking things. Over your nose and mouth. Properly.
Stop participating in social dogpiling when people make honest blunders or commit a faux pas. A lot of people have been isolated for years by this point. Social skills atrophy if they aren't used. Is that "weird" person in the group actually hurting anyone, or are they just awkward, intimidated, and out of practice when it comes to social groups?
Stop being a shithead to people who still can't participate. Stop entertaining the belief that people who don't have a robust external social life are "defective" or "untrustworthy." Stop treating people who don't have a robust social life as if they're dangerous, stupid, or shady. Sometimes people just don't have a robust social life. There are many, many reasons. It's not something you should make harsh judgments about.
Evaluate your space for general accessibility. Can disabled people enter and make use of the space? Is it mobility aid friendly? Sensory friendly? Are there things that can help make it easier for disabled people to find, access, and participate in the group? Have you asked any disabled people about how you can make improvements?
Get your fucking covid booster. It's on here twice because data suggests you fuckers aren't doing it. Go get your fucking vaccine.
I know I'm setting myself up for another barrage of, "Ren, it's just some stupid tumblr post, it isn't that serious" comments, but...well, it is that serious to me. I want to participate in social groups again. I want to go places and do things again. I want to go out. But I, and a lot of other people like me, just don't have the option.
You can help give us that option by giving a shit about covid safety and disability justice in your community.
Thanks, Anon!
-submit your poll!-
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thevoicefromanotherworld · 18 hours ago
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"I KNOW IT'S YOU BABY"
The idea of this story belongs to @robo-writing
@kittyhowlett @alastorssimp @mynamesstevenwithav
I hope you like it, bubs!
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The professor had called the X-Men into the common room to explain the mission they were to carry out that day.
It was hard for you to get out of your boyfriend's bed, as every time you tried to get up he would pull you back and whisper things in your ear like, "Do we really have to go, can't we just stay here a little longer?"
Gathering an enormous amount of willpower, you separated from him and after giving him a soft kiss on the lips you told him that you had to be there, since everyone else would be there.
He let out a groan and reluctantly got out of bed, while going into the bathroom.
You made yourself presentable and walked to the common room. Ororo was already there, as were Jean and Scott. The Professor nodded to them, welcoming them.
"You've arrived," he observed. "Please sit down, we're going to start." They sat facing each other on the chairs in the room.
The professor began to talk about the mission, but after a few seconds, without you being able to avoid it, your mind began to recall the memories of the previous night.
You tried not to let your thoughts be too intense so that neither Charles nor Jean could hear them.
You looked away at Logan, with his hair perfectly combed imitating those cat ears that you liked so much. He felt you looking at him and tilted his head towards you, connecting his lively green eyes with yours. He sketched an amused smile before looking back at the professor.
It was then that you decided to torture him a little. The previous night he had not let you cum, so that moment was the ideal one to take your revenge.
You used your ghostly power to slide your hands over his abs. You saw how he gave a surprised jump in his chair, but he still continued to listen to the professor's explanation. You moved the spectral copy of your hands to his neck, exerting a little pressure on it. A low growl escaped Logan’s lips, and you smiled.
You knew you would get revenge for what had happened last night, but you didn’t expect it to be right then. That same night was the same night you discovered that Logan likes you to choke him while you fuck.
He loves the feel of your fingers around his throat, the knowledge that if you want you can cut off his air supply at any time, it’s something that turns him on.
Your mutation also includes telepathy, which is why you hear Logan’s words in your mind as clear as if he were saying them out loud.
“I know it’s you baby,” he whispered in your mind, “you have to stop.” Ignoring him, you lowered your hands to his thighs and slowly parted his legs. He pretended it wasn’t affecting him, when in reality he was burning up inside.
He desperately needed to sink inside you. That game was turning him on too much, proof of that was the tent he had set up in his pants.
“Princess” he said, holding on tightly to the arms of the chair. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”
“Who says I can’t finish it?” you thought as you smiled half-heartedly at him.
Logan then felt the cold touch of your lips on the inside of his thighs, getting closer and closer to his cock. You looked at his face, his expression going from a hidden gesture of pleasure to a delicious tension. Before you could touch it, you pulled away, breaking the connection.
Logan’s eyes widened as he realized how fast the action was. One second you were about to kiss his cock, and the next you weren’t there anymore.
You smiled triumphantly at having gotten the revenge you longed for. You then focused on the teacher again, but before you could hear a single sentence of what he said, Logan's voice filled your mind with a strong thought.
“You're a very bad girl, ghostie,” he whispered, his voice had dropped two octaves. “Provoking me like that in front of all our friends,” he whispered. “I should punish you for what you've done.”
“Please, Logan,” you sighed in your mind. He smiled, clearly seeing how much his words affected you.
“Calm down, sweetheart,” he smiled. “You're always so eager for me,�� he growled, making you cross your legs trying to relieve the pressure that had settled between them. He smelled the excitement that emanated from you in waves. His gaze darkened as his smile grew wider. “Don't worry,” he whispered. “I'll make sure to give you what you need.”
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angelmush · 4 months ago
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the other day i walked around the golden lake w my love and the sun was setting hot and orange and we watched a brown duck preening through the weeds, ducking her head under the dark water. the cool lake swallowed up my tired feet to the ankles and we counted the dog walkers with their curly panting doodles and their handsome german shepherds and their whip smart little terriers and we admired the careful construction of a sand castle whose moat held determinedly against the lapping of the waves. we could feel in our chests the persistent thunderous thumping of celebratory music at the finish line of the lakeside 5k, welcoming each gasping runner across its bounds. and i felt like crying. i felt like curling into myself and crying. we walked through the swamp of the bird sanctuary afterwards and listened to the woods sing and croak and groan and then we went and got ube and yuzu gelato and devoured it suntired and sweating on the couch in our living room. and i was so overcome w a deep and true unshakeable happiness and a sort of confused grief that i wanted to sob and sob and sob.
#i am so happy for the first time in my entire life#a consistent and true joyfulness#i am in love w my life#i want to stick around to see it#and i mean that w my entire being for the first time in my whole life#and to say that means confronting the first 24 years of my life where that wasn’t true#where i was miserable and heartbroken and unkind and dishonest and cruel#and i didn’t want to be alive#even when i was doing well i still didn’t want to be alive#for 24 years.#i had no fucking idea being alive could be so easy. i had no idea.#i want to hold myself and tell them i want to wrap myself up and say it will be BETTER#it will be so so far from perfect but it will be so so good you just have to hold on#i am so happy but i am mourning#i don’t know how to articulate it at all i just feel#happy but grieving#i LOVE this new city we live in i LOVE it here#i like my job enough to stand it for enough hours a week to get by#i have the time and the energy to throw myself into hobbies like knitting and cooking#i watch one or two good movies a week#i eat delicious food i’ve made and from restaurants we want to try#i’m IN LOVE. with my girlfriend in a way that’s so overwhelming and unlike anything i’ve ever felt that words don’t do it justice#i have friends who are gentle and patient with me when it’s hard for me to reach out#i am fighting agoraphobia tooth and fucking nail and i’m seeing the world and experiencing it#i laugh every day!!!! every single day!!!!#i have a goofy wonderful dog and an incredibly sweet cat#i talk to my baby brother all the time and he tells me he loves me and he’s graduating college soon and i’m so fucking proud#i wish i would’ve known how good it would all become#i wish i could’ve known#personal
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lisxdumbr · 7 months ago
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The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah
#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now)#anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back#and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck#she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me#BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad#i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa#anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since#the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too?#in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem#they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt#recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times#and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so#what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything.#anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was-#”well it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to people”#and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group-#-and they never informed me so. thank you?#and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw#and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation.#she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason#ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care-#-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends#so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much#rant#vent#?#woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all#I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now
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unhinged-as-hell · 9 hours ago
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Yknow-you can hate someone and still find them interesting at the same time- I am aware of what they bring to the story, they're very interesting and I'm glad they add what they do to the story-and I still hate em. Snape bullied children. He bullied Neville so much he became the kid's Boggart. Boggarts show a persons worst fear. At the time a infamous killer was supposedly on the lose, and his worst fear was his teacher. He bullied their kid. He didn't care about anything else except for Lily-He called her a slur though. And people wonder why she ditched him.
He told Voldemort to kill James and Harry but not Lily. He told Voldemort to kill a newborn.
You're saying this like I don't acknowledge the good things he's done. Again since they were influential to the series I kinda have to. But to overlook all the bad? Yeah not happening. I've dealt with my fair share of emotionally abusive teachers for that to happen. I've dealt with my share of emotional abuse.
You're assuming quite a bit about me. I've read the Harry Potter books a dozen times over. There what got me into reading in the first place. I've watched the movies more. It's my dad's and I favorite movie series. We watch them literally at least twice a year together. (by the way I'm quite alright with movie Snape. RIP Alan Rickman). My favorite memories are of talking about Harry Potter with my friends and dad. One of the only memories I remember from my childhood is when my parents would put on movies every single day. I've never read All The Young Dudes because I dislike how it characterizes some characters, and because I've been told it's very T swift coded and I really don't like her.
I am not a senseless hater. I am not senseless. I need reasons for my hate. I need proof. And I have it. That's why I changed my outlook on him. You have proof to 'love', I have to 'hate'. Let's go on our separate ways. Where either you block me or I block you. Or you just get off my blog. Love with the people who love with you. Leave me be.
I will use the anti snape tag. I'll still get interaction. I already have by fellow 'Snaters' I mean have you seen the likes and reblogs?
RIP James and Lily Potter you would've never let Harry name his kid 'Albus Severus' Potter
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rosicheeks · 6 months ago
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🙃
#just want to apologize to anyone who has tried to reach out lately#just like I texted my friend I’ll tell you guys the same#haven’t been talking to a lot of people lately tbh#pretty sure I’ve mentioned php a few times by now#monday was my last day#and I was feeling on top of the world on Monday#I don’t remember the last time I was so genuinely happy#figured it was the med change or something#so I was feeling pretty optimistic#I’m in between programs now#and today was not the best#not as bad as some of my days#but definitely not even near the day I had on Monday#I just wish I could feel that every single day#I’m working on it but still#waiting to start ‘adult day treatment’ and case management#and I think case management will help me find a place??? I’m not sure exactly but that’s kinda what I was getting#which honestly? I know I’ve bitched about how badly I need to move#but while I was in php I realized I don’t think I’ll truly be able to heal while I’m living here… and that’s a scary thought#idk there’s a lot more deeper things that I don’t wanna talk about#but the fact I don’t have space and I don’t feel safe and comfortable here is hard….#my ‘safe’ space was my car but now that I’m trying to quit smoking my car isn’t the best place for me#I’ve been kinda getting used to my room and I’m finally trying to move a few things around#(now that I have a little energy again)#it’s just……. my arachnophobia is KILLING me here#in the past week I don’t even know how many spiders I’ve seen and killed#they haven’t been crazy and I recognize I don’t live in Australia or places where the spiders are as big as fucking cars#I came home and I was in a good mood until I saw a spider in my room 🙃🙃🙃 tried to vacuum it but not sure if I got it……..#so guess im sleeping on the couch….. again…. but can’t help think if out here is any better…#shut up rosie
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skunkes · 1 year ago
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was abt to make a silly post about how at this point i barter with the universe for a bf like "please id take care of him and walk him and dress him up", like a child begging for a pet, and then i think abt how as much as i want an actual pet I don't think im fit to ever have one of those either
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notjanine · 5 months ago
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me a week ago: i love my job!!
me now, after having a mid-year review that amounted to you’re doing an excellent job and you bring such a valuable perspective to our practice but i don’t have the ability to give you a raise right now but don’t worry bc i just hired a new CFO to try to figure out money so we can maybe give you a raise later this year: *breaks into a cold sweat as i crack open indeed dot com*
#like how have you hired FOUR new employees in the past year (two new providers a new admin assistant and now a CFO)#without having plans for people to level up?#also i have talked to a friend who got hired at a similar practice a few months after me and she’s already making way more than me!#and you know who else makes more than i do?#my 19yo nephew who didn’t even finish high school. to be fair he’s grinding way more than he should#but also so am i!!#my disabled ass is working 6-7 days/week almost every week and i can barely afford to LIVE in the city where i live!!!#anyway don’t mind me i’m only apartment hunting#while also knowing that my paycheck is about to be hundreds of dollars lighter every month bc my health insurance is about to kick in#right now it’s either looking like we are gonna have to live in the world’s shittiest apartment (not even in the nice part of the city) or#we might just have to find something outside the city. which would be farther from work and friends and everything#yes i am having a full mental breakdown every single day and it’s only gonna get worse bc i’m due to start pmsing any second now#and also my last day at my hospital job is this weekend#bc everyone (including my boss) has encouraged me to quit and focus on only the one job#so now that’s also at least a few hundred bucks more i won’t be making every month#godddddddd#i hate it here i hate it here#did you know? having a fulfilling job still sucks if you aren't fairly compensated???#this is also what happens when you are part of a hot girl profession where everyone else is married to husbands with tech jobs#so they don't have to worry about money like this#anyway anyway anyway#i have never had anxiety so high that i feel as if i might puke before and i used to have a panic disorder so this is a fun new experience#a nice cherry on top of the typical summer depression which is also beating my ass yet again!
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perilegs · 6 months ago
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being homesick and changing as a person so much the place you grew up in isn't your home anymore is such a core part of ati and upon further inspection i think i was projecting a little
#like yea that is a very common basic thing that happens to a lot if not most adults#but also i think i get homesick a bit too easy#when i moved away from home i moved to the closest big city that's only an hour away and i was already deeply familiar with it#but i was so sad despite knowing i personally could never thrive in my hometown#i wanted to experience the big city but it was so scary and it still is and i miss the comforts of my hometown but it's not just me that#has changed#dont get me wrong i wouldnt move back bc i have hobbies and friends and a job and most likely a career in the city i live in#and this truly is a place i don't think i could ever move away from. unless it is to a neighboring city#it's so hard for me to imagine there are people who move not just across the country but a completely different country and they just. adap#i could never. i was visiting my hometown every week for like the first year i lived here#i eventually want to move to a bigger apartment and ive been looking at places already even tho i need to graduate before doing that#and i'm. getting homesick just thinking about moving to a different part of the city.#i like the area i live in. i like the cornerstore and the distance to the closest grocery stores and parks#i like how my grandma used to live in this area when she was around my age#i'm not good with change and i know it but there are several things about moving that make me miserable#like yeah obviously i will move out from my single bedroom apartment when i can and i'll be so happy and it'll be good for me#but despite having lived here for only a bit more than 4 years i'll miss this apartment. i have so many good memories from here and i'll#never be able to visit it again and have it feel the same#but that's the least sad thing imo. i dread being in a different area more lmao#but it's fine i know i'll adapt as long as i don't have to move to a different city ever again gfsahgak#idk ive had a long day and im feeling a bit melancholic#i'll sleep in tomorrow >:3c#leevi talks
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imaginarypasta · 11 months ago
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i’ve been trying to get through hoh for literally like a week now but it’s so hard bc the way my fave nico is treated is absolutely ABYSMAL and i know it only gets worse
#personal#even hazel being like ‘yeah he’s hard to get along with’ or whatever she said#every single non-tartarus perspective has had at least one reference to this#and like i understand the reasons it’s not that it’s that it highlights this issue i have with a lot of the characters in that series which#is that i don’t like them. and that’s so different for me bc i actually usually find that my two favorite characters in anything are the tw#that don’t like each other? unrelated to that dynamic usually mostly but still within it#but that’s not even what the dynamic is yk.#and it’s just the whole thing overall like in the last book there was one part where these two characters who are supposed to be good#friends are separated and one makes a comment about how annoying (or something along those lines) she finds the other which.#i’m vaguely aware of what happens in toa so i think you could argue something about that but read on its own bc i don’t want to make that#argument without fully grasping where her character goes#it just kinda reinforces this… vibe to the whole series that was not nearly as present in the first series of like. really overemphasized#like gender roles/heterosexuality/etc. i can’t think of the word to use to describe it. i’ve seen other ppl talk about the parts that add u#to the whole that i’ve seen but never synthesize them. and it really varies between actually insidious and simply not my taste which is par#of the reason i hesitate to make a full critique out of it. but suffice to say i really don’t like it#with that being said the pacing of this book is really good and i am compelled to finish based on the themes i do find interesting#autonomy being a huge one#but anyway those are my thoughts on it after a few days of a break. i’ve been playing a video game instead :3 but i start work on wednesday#sooo i won’t have as much free time boo#looking back maybe ‘insidious’ is a very strong word for it. i’m talking about like when percy complains about the bag and similar moments
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cantofworms · 2 years ago
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#ok ik all the hot take asks are pre much done and the sparkly say smth nice asks are better but well I’ve been having thoughts all day at#work and want to get them out now so that’s what I’m doing lol#obvs for the past few months i think ppl are vv heavily leaning into the dnf /r and I firmly believe that they aren’t#like yes I enjoy being a multi shipper but I still primarily read dnf fics bc they’re cute dnf writers and artists MWAHH ilysm#but it’s been increasingly annoying how every move dnf make ppl hyper obsess over it and ignore everything else like blog what u want this#is tumblr dot com but I think ppl how only see dnf thro the lens of romantic do much more ‘harm’ than ppl who dont#like the argument about taking validation out of their very REAL amazing friendship just gets over shadowed by omg Dream posted a pic of#geogre they’re in LOVE and sucking and FUCKING every night. like#and then completely disregard when dnf do and say the exact same shit about all their other friends#like dream has explicitly said they aren’t dating (ignore that tho) amd that’s he’s kissed multiple ppl since coming out (ignore that too)#and their friends naturally say that they’re all single (ignore that too) idk man it’s ok they like to pander amd that dream is a toxic#dnfer but it’s all just For Funsies. another thing is ppl CONSTANTLYYYY putting geohres sexuality under a microscope oh he drinks lemonade#from Starbucks he’s soooo gay like dumb shit like that is so irritating#the fact that geogre has never once talked about his sexuality except that one instance where he got a DONO about it proves how much it#just doesn’t matter or apply to the type of content creator he is/wants to be#to be clear if he is or isn’t or dnf every explicitly announce their romantic relationship im gonna be sooooo happy and supportive like aw#dnfogies🫶🏻 but I think there’s a 99.9% chanve that’ll never happen so maybe we should all just care a Little Less and focus on out lgbt#creators if that’s smth u wanna watch/blog about idk maybe I’m just burnt out from the phandom but whyyyyy does is matter what their#sexualities are they play minecraft who cares who CARESSSS idk maybe just having older brothers around dtqk ages has made me realize that#guys will just act homiesexual no matter What#guys are just Like That and tbc I’m not saying that just bc gnf hasn’t made an official coming out doesn’t mean he’s not queer but for the#sake of his contwnt it doesn’t matter either way ? so why are ppl talking about it on the daily idk man it’s just annoying but Oh Well#at the end of the day they’re all famous white guys and nothing matters hurray !!
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dancing-with-stars · 10 months ago
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guys. guys !!!!
#vanu is rambling#ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me#but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or#i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey#where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me#and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during#those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears#and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg#and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that.#because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call.#i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time#they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did#and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent#stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in#friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool#people really. really cool people
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