#like gender roles/heterosexuality/etc. i can’t think of the word to use to describe it. i’ve seen other ppl talk about the parts that add u

[imaginarypasta]

i’ve been trying to get through hoh for literally like a week now but it’s so hard bc the way my fave nico is treated is absolutely ABYSMAL and i know it only gets worse

[wardens-stew]

my review of The Mask Falling - an ode to Arcturus and Paige

For me, the soul of this series has always been the relationship between Paige and Arcturus. It’s apt that this book, the exact middle of the series and as @sshannonauthor​ describes it, its heart, spends so much time with this pair. The intensity and uniqueness of their bond really emerges as the shining jewel of this series.

It’s clear that Samantha Shannon was intentional about putting Arcturus and Paige on equal footing for the first time in The Mask Falling. She manages the power dynamic between them with such attention and nuance, reversing their roles often and fluidly escaping gender roles. The protector role comes naturally to Arcturus, given his immortal strength and anxiety about losing Paige (it’s even part of the etymology of their names), but for much of The Mask Falling he is her silent shadow, trailing being her and supporting her quietly. They negotiate their differences with refreshing candor and in good faith, their arguments free from ego. “My fear is not your cage,” Arcturus tells her. “I will never ask you to mold yourself to it.” His affection for her is empowering, supportive, never constrictive or diminishing. Paige herself is markedly independent, doing the bulk of her fighting and plotting on her own. When she does seek support from Arcturus, there is no sense of her own strength being diminished, and as often as he rescues her, she turns around and rescues him just as easily. 

Indeed, while Arcturus is the immortal god, it is Paige’s power that really shines in this book. Her incredible ingenuity and strength is on full display, getting her out of certain-death scenarios at such a gripping pace I had to cover the pages with my hands to avoid glancing ahead. She couples her incredible powers with extraordinary mental fortitude and an acute conscience; each of her escapades has a satisfying emotional resonance that enlivens her broader quest. Whereas many YA heroines possessed of supernatural power oscillate between immobilizing moral anxiety and moral bankruptcy, Paige tempers her impulsiveness with reason (most of the time) and a powerful motive for justice. It’s clear that she has yet to access the full extent of her abilities, and I’m eager to see what roles she’ll play in the fight to take down Scion. 

While previous installments show Arcturus/Warden on various levels of guardedness, The Mask Falling gives us time and space in excess to see his true character. I was struck by his compassion, his hopefulness despite all that he has endured. He is often reassuring and comforting Paige, his optimism clear-eyed and measured. The contrast is especially stark with his persona in The Bone Season, where he appears cold and calculating, morally gray at best. In this book, he is almost unbearably kind, devastatingly sweet and thoughtful. As Paige remarks, “there was nothing terrible before me now.” The almost unimaginable beauty of his character is achieved with such a soft touch; the books are not about Arcturus being the the epitome of goodness - he simply is. 

A central thread of tension of this book follows Paige and Arcturus negotiating their relationship and coming to terms with their mutual attraction. Samantha Shannon manages this tension beautifully, carrying it forward constantly with poignant moments of intimacy interspersed with Paige’s honest internal dialogue. The smallest interactions and gestures between them felt so heightened. There are all the classic scenes - getting drunk and saying too much, jealousy spirals about past relationships, almost-kiss scenes interrupted, near-death confessions - all building up to a beautiful and satisfying climax. 

Samantha Shannon writes intimacy incredibly well. The love scenes feel specific to the characters, managing to be both meaningful and erotic. Romances between an immortal man and a mortal woman in particular tend to translate the man’s primal instincts and extreme physical strength into a voracious sexual appetite that leaves little room for gentleness and consideration. Arcturus really breaks the mold in this respect. He is so reverent, so sincere, so generous with Paige in a way few male characters with female partners approximate. Rather than relying on an imbalance of power in order to convey eroticism, the sexiness of Arcturus and Paige’s dynamic derives from the equality of their relationship.  It’s so difficult to create a heterosexual romance unsullied by patriarchy, and Samantha Shannon gets close to that here. 

I wonder if it is Arcturus’ immortal nature that makes him such a uniquely engaging character. Samantha Shannon really commits to that aspect of him - he’s not just a hot teenager. The best word I can think of to describe him is mature. He is so beyond the petty concerns of YA love interests, so ego-less and self-reliant. One of my favorite ways he diverges from human men - and traditional male love interests - is his lack of fixation on Paige’s physical appearance. This book has several of the classic moments that would typically elicit a remark or a look from the love interest on the heroine’s appearance, often framed as a cute romantic moment. Yet when Paige dresses up, or dyes her hair - even when she asks him outright - he never comments on the way she looks. “A human might have whispered in my ear, told me I was beautiful or perfect, but not him.” I love that. I’ve never found that lustful, almost predatory demeanor in male love interests nearly as sexy as the author would like it to be, and it always rubs me the wrong way when the man telling the woman she’s beautiful is framed as the epitome of romance. It strikes me as a very lazy way to convey attraction, for one thing, and it reeks of benevolent sexism. Arcturus never plays into those supposedly romantic tropes of disparaging other women in favor of the heroine or being selectively kind. His love for Paige is so pure. 

I continue to be impressed by the sheer scale of worldbuilding in this series. Many books attempt to create fictional tyrannical governments, but few succeed in building one as convincing and elaborate as Scion. The Mask Falling peels back even more layers of this complex world, bringing to fruition seeds planted in the very first book. Although the basic plot leans on some familiar tropes, Samantha Shannon always manages to add an additional twist of the screw. The complexity of this series is truly extraordinary, drawing on etymology and mythology, dropping mysteries and complicating loyalties with incredible dexterity. 

SPOILERS!!!!! --> I am still struggling with Arcturus’s possession and Paige’s failure to connect the dots and realize the reality of his situation. I see Samantha Shannon has pointed out on Twitter that Paige’s trauma and illness may have affected her judgment and decision-making. She says, “There's a particular scene where Paige reacts to an event in a way that is so deeply rooted in her PTSD and past experiences.” (I assume this is the scene she’s referring to.) I think that’s fair - Paige has been so inundated with the Rephaite aversion to humans that it’s almost as if she only needed one piece of evidence to confirm her doubts and destroy her trust in Arcturus. And it’s not as if she just takes it at face value, either - she does question him and try to convince him otherwise. But I still can’t help feeling that it’s a stretch. The Mask Falling makes Arcturus’ character so clear that the prospect that he would be loyal to Nashira the whole time is just ludicrous. Not to mention the fact that Paige somehow overlooked the obvious signs that he was being possessed. His eyes were such a dead giveaway - Paige had already seen that same thing happen when she possessed him! And when he moved to strike her and then suddenly stopped and his eyes flared - come on! That’s a classic mind-control trope. Paige is usually so perceptive, and they had built such a strong foundation… it feels unrealistic that she wouldn’t have connected the dots just because she hadn’t thought there could be another dreamwalker. 

If I had to find fault with this book, and it is difficult, I would say that it leans a little too heavily on some YA dystopian fantasy tropes towards the end - the mind-controlled love interest, for example, instantly made me think of Divergent, The Hunger Games, The Mortal Instruments, etc. Likewise, the forced memory loss is a fairly common fantasy trope that tends to be really frustrating to read. I have faith that Samantha Shannon will keep it from sliding into those tropes, and of course there remains so much mystery still to be untangled from those final 100 pages. /END SPOILERS :) 

This was the kind of book that captivated me immediately, left me lying awake at night and had me eating energy bars for dinner so I could keep reading. It was such a visceral, immersive experience, the kind where returning to the physical reality is almost physically disorienting. It’s been two days since I finished it and I’m still clinging to that fictional world, wishing I didn’t have to leave. Books like these are rare for me, and I’m still marveling at the miracle of finding that book that in Arcturus’ words, exists for everyone: “a book that will sing to them.”

[bloodraven55]

“But Bumbleby was rushed/forced to pander to the gays—”

There are a number of glaring flaws in this argument, most of all the fact that no straight relationship is ever called “forced” or “pandering” even if people don’t like it, let alone “rushed” when it’s only on the verge of officially happening seven seasons into the show, but I want to break down all of the many levels on which it’s wrong in order to hopefully kill it once and for all.

“It came out of nowhere—”

Jaune was crushing on Weiss the second he saw her, Sun was crushing on Blake the moment he saw her, Pyrrha developed feelings for Jaune in just one Volume and showed some interest from the moment she saw him, and Blake goes from being consistently annoyed at Sun throughout Volumes 1 and 2 to suddenly having a crush on him in Volume 3.

If Bumbleby supposedly “came out of nowhere,” then so did W/hite Knight, A/rkos, and B/lacksun. But no one ever has an issue with the speed at which those characters started having romantic interest in each other. And I’m not even saying they should—they’re all very valid ships and whether they came out of nowhere or not isn’t the point of this—but there’s a clear double standard applied to same sex ships as opposed to heterosexual ships here and it invalidates this point right out of the gate.

“It was rushed—”

Blake and Yang are only just now close to becoming an official couple after more than six whole Volumes of knowing each other. There is no possible universe where this would qualify as “rushed.” Again, W/hite Knight and B/lacksun albeit both one-sided at least to begin with both became obvious things within literal episodes of the characters meeting, and Jaune and Pyrrha were showing blatant romantic interest in each other by Volume 2 before kissing in Volume 3.

In the last case you can argue that it went at a faster pace because Pyrrha was going to die, but that doesn't change the fact that no one complained that it went too quickly—or about the other two ships I mentioned which were both initially based solely on one (1) instance of a guy showing interest in a girl—and yet people say it’s too soon for Blake and Yang to get together when they’ve had over twice as long for their relationship to develop.

“The shippers forced it into the show—”

I don’t think I even need to add any more here when the words of CRWBY speak for themselves.

“Toxic shippers think everything is gay—”

I mean, I’m gay and I only truly ship a handful of the possible same sex pairings in the show—certainly far from the majority of them—and I also ship a number of straight ships, but go off I guess.

I already made a post on this here, but it’s insanely dismissive and ridiculous for heterosexual people i.e. the ones who usually use this “argument” to assume that they know better than actual LGBT+ people what is or isn’t good LGBT+ representation, and for them to assume that just because they missed build up that it therefore isn’t there.

I can’t take someone seriously when they go into a discussion determined to believe that they’re already right and don’t listen to a word you say to prove otherwise, especially when they’re debating on a topic which doesn’t directly affect them and which they don’t have the same level of firsthand knowledge of.

“The wasps only care about Blake and Yang getting in each other’s pants—”

Actually, it’s the people who are most aggressively against Blake and Yang being a couple that tend to reduce their relationship to being entirely about sex even though they haven’t had a single remotely sexual interaction in the show, but if this were true then surely Bumbleby shippers would be very unhappy with the show because Blake and Yang have still not “got in each other’s pants,” or “swapped clit juice” as I once saw someone tastefully describe it?

But that isn’t right. Because in general us Bee shippers are currently exceedingly happy with everything that’s happening in the show to do with Blake and Yang’s relationship. So how can that be if all we care about is whether they fuck or not?

The answer is of course that we don’t only care about whether they fuck or not—in fact most of us couldn’t care less whether it’s ever so much as hinted that they have sex, both because the show almost certainly won’t ever go there and because that isn’t our priority—we’re just enjoying watching them fall in love.

Honestly this argument is one of the most lazy because one look at RWBY will tell you that none of the romances are at all sexual thus far so any shippers who truly only care about that aspect wouldn’t stick around very long when they’ll just end up disappointed. And of course the way that these people inherently view same sex relationships as sexual is homophobic and disgusting too.

“CRWBY rushed it to give the rabid shippers what they want—”

Like the last two points, this is a “criticism” that I’ve only ever seen levelled at same sex ships and never straight ships, so it’s yet another example of double standards and hypocrisy, but that’s only the start of what’s wrong with it.

The most galling thing about this is that these people insist that all LGBT+ people because as I’ve already mentioned that is always the group which statements like this are aimed at just want to see two characters of the same gender make out as soon as possible, which is simply not true.

No one would ever claim that straight people just want to see a man and a woman get it on as soon as possible and dismiss the worth of a straight relationship because of it. So it’s ridiculous to try and force that logic onto shippers of same sex ships, who are primarily LGBT+ people themselves.

If anything, we care even more about the quality of our ships—how healthy they are, whether they’re well built up or not, etc.—because we hardly have any to begin with in comparison. If one straight ship is rushed or poorly written, then there are plenty of well-handled ones to choose from instead, but the same isn’t the case for same sex ships.

We want to be represented well, which means that we want healthy relationships with plenty of development where the characters actually have chemistry and complement each other. We might still support rushed or badly-written same sex ships sometimes because it’s still representation which we are overall sorely lacking, but we don’t want them.

“But they ship baited with Blake and Sun—”

First off, straight ships can’t be baited the same way that same sex ships can. It’s simply not a comparable situation. But of course B/lacksun shippers are entitled to feel disappointed that their ship didn’t become canon. That’s utterly valid and understandable. However, that doesn’t mean that the writers or the show in any way misled viewers regarding what was happening.

“But Sun winked at Blake—”

And Yang also winked at Blake in Volume 2 while asking her to the dance, just like Sun winked at Blake in Volume 1 and then asked Blake to the dance. And Blake turned Sun down when he asked initially, specifically told him that they were only “technically” going together when she ran into him outside, and told him definitively that she had chosen to give her first dance to Yang.

“But Blake blushed at Sun—”

And now she’s also blushed at Yang, in a far more intimate scene at that. Next point.

“But Sun met Blake’s parents—”

And? Simply meeting someone’s parents doesn’t on any level automatically imply romance. Ghira didn’t even like Sun, and while a lot of people like to claim that Kali “ships it” which would be extremely flimsy evidence to base the canonicity of a ship on anyway, she’s someone who would do the same with anyone Blake brought home so it means nothing. If Blake had actually chosen to take Sun home with her herself then this would be a valid point, but she didn’t, so it has no weight whatsoever overall.

“But Blake kissed Sun on the cheek—”

And I kiss my mother on the cheek the exact same way every time I say goodbye to her. If you think that type of kiss on the cheek has to be romantic then quite frankly I’m not sure what world you’re living in. If the camera had been close up, if there had been any shots at all of their reactions, any blushing or lingering looks, a more private setting— literally anything to give it some actual weight and make it feel significant, then this might mean something, but it’s framed as a totally platonic goodbye with zero romantic coding.

And that’s without even mentioning the fact that right after that moment Sun flat out states that his time with Blake was “never about [romance],” which sort of kills the idea that anything about that scene was supposed to be taken as romantic. There was no reason to include that line except to make it clear to the audience that Sun and Blake parted ways as friends who now have no intention of ever becoming anything more.

Seriously, if they wanted us to think that there was still something there, then Blake would have been shown to be thinking about or missing Sun even one since they separated, but he hasn’t been brought up for even a second. If they wanted to set up a continuation of anything romantic for them when the group reach Vacuo, say, then they would have started doing it by now.

Plus the reverse argument that Blake and Sun have never hugged or held hands—both of which Blake and Yang have done multiple times��works just as well, perhaps even better since handholding is a well-established romantic cue in the show already thanks to A/rkos, R/enora, and O/zma and Salem.

“But why was Sun even there in Volumes 4 and 5 then—”

Because Blake needed a friend who she could exposition to about her thought processes and personal problems so that the audience could understand what she was going through, and she wasn’t as likely to open up to her parents about that stuff right away when she was convinced they’d hate her for leaving.

Sun was there to support Blake as she developed and to tell her that running away hurt the very people she was trying to protect. That was his narrative role in that arc. There was nothing to indicate that a romance was being built in those more than twenty episodes they spent together and if it was going to happen that would have been the time to do it.

On the other hand Blake and Yang’s shared arc together is built on the fact that Blake’s romantic ex, who Blake had already directly contrasted with Yang and whose Semblance was already a foil to Yang’s, maimed Yang specifically because Blake loves her. The basis of that arc has romantic weight, which is what makes the difference here. Though the scene at the end of Volume 3 where Adam takes Yang’s arm isn’t romantic in and of itself, I should clarify, it just has romantic significance in that it makes it clear that Blake and Yang’s feelings go beyond mere friendship.

In short, the summary of this whole section pretty much boils down to: two characters spending time together doesn't inherently equal romantic development, and it isn’t in any way “baiting” if those two characters don’t then get together.

The characters’ feelings follow a fairly logical progression over the course of the show, with Blake showing interest in both Sun and Yang in V1-V3, then ceasing to show interest in Sun after that as their relationship becomes totally platonic by Volume 5/the beginning of Volume 6 at the very latest, while the events of the Fall of Beacon only solidified how strong her feelings for Yang were and once she reunites with Yang their relationship begins to head towards romance.

It’s a pretty realistic depiction of how human feelings work, and a far less messy situation than in a lot of other shows where there isn’t the same massive level of hatred and vitriol towards the “victorious” pairing, because this was never even really presented as a love triangle or rivalry.

To conclude, I just want to list some of the contradictions that I’ve seen within the arguments made against Bumbleby, because I think it’s very telling that the people who are against it can’t even settle on one coherent narrative on why it’s bad.

“Bumbleby has no development, but also the show focusses too much on Bumbleby.”

“Monty wouldn’t have wanted Bumbleby—it goes against his vision—even though I didn’t know him and have no idea what his vision actually was, and he explicitly stated that he wanted LGBT+ characters in the show who might already be in the main cast and that he wanted Blake and Yang to have a shared arc together, as well as being responsible for the set up of that arc with Blake and Yang being introduced as Beauty and the Beast while Adam canonically represents Gaston.”

“The Bumbleby shippers have so much influence that they forced the writers to make the ship canon, but they’re also just a vocal minority who don’t matter.”

“Blake and Yang hardly interact—they’re barely even friends—but they also interact too much and it’s making Bumbleby take over the show.”

“Arryn is a victim of the toxic wasps who harrassed her and sent her death threats for saying that the song Bmblb doesn't automatically make the ship canon, which there is zero evidence of,  but Arryn is also an unprofessional cunt for expressing her support of Bumbleby.”

“None of Blake and Yang’s scenes together are romantic so Bumbleby is forced, but even when they have undeniably romantic interactions I’ll ignore them or deny that they mean anything so I can still pretend it has no build up.”

“Bumbleby is bad because Team RWBY are a sisterhood, but all of the other straight relationships within teams—even those who’ve flat out called each other ”family”—are fine, and I’ll just pretend that there aren’t other definitions of the word sisterhood which have nothing to do with actual sisters and are the ones that actually apply in this case.”

“Blake and Yang’s relationship could be seen as romantic or platonic, but I personally think they’re just friends so Bumbleby is bad and came out of nowhere.”

I’ve seen all of these countless times with my own two eyes and it’s absolutely hilarious to be honest. Anyway that’s it. I have yet to see a single logical argument as to why Bumbleby is bad that isn’t made in bad faith, fallacious, or just doesn’t hold up when you actually look at the show. It’s about to be canon, and at this point to be honest anyone who doesn't like that can simply accept it or go and watch something else that will pander to their specific tastes instead.

[thedeadflag]

so this is something I've been mulling over for a while now - do you reckon it'd be possible to make a version of a/b/o that isn't fundamentally transphobic, or would it reach the point of "this is so different that you might as well not call it a/b/o" before that? off the top of my head you'd have to take out all elements of g!p, mpreg, and biological essentialism, and it'd probably be possible to write a version of a/b/o with that framework, but I don't know if I'm missing anything.

a/b/o is a reactionary trope that relies on cissexism-derived biological essentialism to function. Like, that’s the engine that powers the bdsm/power dynamics, cisheteronormative breeding/family building, “dub/non-con”, etc. elements that draw people to it, and led people to create it in the first place. 

Like, my best attempt at describing a non-transphobic, non-shitty typical a/b/o adjacent fic would include:

Werewolves (let’s face it, werewolves can be really cool if written well, and there’s a lot of really good ways to write them, a lot of ways to subvert tired subtropes within the trope)

Found Family-focused family/pack building (because wolves often adopt wolves from other packs into their own, blood lineage isn’t really a thing; much like vampires being created, newly turned werewolves of any age can be considered their sire’s child; if it needs to have a pregnancy arc between two men or two women, there’s IVF/IUI, or magically/spiritually-induced pregnancies, and of course writing a fully fledged complex trans character with their own non-pregnancy arc and virtues/flaws/goals/etc. and getting relevant trans beta writers who aren't your friends to keep it on track if you’re a cis writer)

A flexible, non-binary gendered society (rather than the rigidly structured biology-is-destiny a/b/o society) that’s trans inclusive either explicitly, or implicitly if it’s a new social universe with different rules. 

If mating seasons have to exist, they’re cultural more than biological, and no biological processes that could impede or trouble a person’s ability to properly consent. 

No inherent, glorified or reified power dynamics, certainly none rooted in or fostered through biology. 

That doesn’t seem very much at all like a/b/o to me. It’s a werewolf AU, which is the reason why a/b/o was created in the first place. It wasn’t enough. It needed something more than just a supernatural bent

I’ll continue on below for a bit on some simplified functions of a/b/o, but it’s mostly just some ramblings.

-

Like, to quote the originators of the genre/trope:

I'd like to see Alpha male Jared, and Bitch male Jensen. Jensen is a snotty prude (think Lady from lady and the tramp) he may be a bitch male but he's not just going to let anybody take a go at his sweet little ass...until he meets Jared...then prudey little Jensen turns cock slut for Jared. Bonus points for J2 being OTP, Jensen was a virgin before Jared, and now that they met each other, it's for life.

...

There are three types of men, alpha males, beta males, and omega males. Alpha males are like any ordinary guy with the exception of their cocks, they work just like canines (the knot, tons of cum, strong breeders, etc) The beta male, is an ordinary guy without the special cock. Omega males are capable of child bearing and often called bitch males.

Like, I want you to look at that real close and see what’s going on in there.

This was created to be a trope where there’s a world where women, as we explicitly know them, don’t exist, but where a subgroup of men take up the functional role of the woman in the heteronormative social structure of the world. It’s also not surprising that (assumedly cis) women created and initiated the spread of this trope.

Look at the language used. This is heavily, explicitly gendered for a reason. If you’ve read much of anything about how the male gaze impacts female sexuality, you’ll know a common response is for women to position themselves out of the proverbial frame entirely, so that no part of them can explicitly exist as an object, where they can take on the role of a subject. There’s no women whose experiences will directly link to her own and her own perceptions, comfort/discomfort/etc.

However, many of these women also have been heavily affected by the male gaze and heteronormativity, and that combined with not knowing what a real gay male relationship is like, what it looks like, what experiences might be unique to it...they fill in the blanks with their own conditioning. 

And maybe seeing a lot of that toxic masculinity in media content was unsettling because of how women get treated in that content, and how they in turn might feel in those shoes. But if a MAN, even if it’s a heavily female-coded man, were to undergo that...well, it’d be easier to appreciate those tropes and dynamics they’ve been force-fed to believe were arousing, hot, desirable. Especially if they can have two hot men in it. They can enjoy that self-created taboo, bypass their own discomfort and insecurity, and project it onto a type of person different enough to suspend their disbelief and maintain that difference, even if they’re pumping that guy full of all the typical misogynistic tropes and experiences they’re not comfortable having directed towards them and other women.

In short, it’s a way to get off on heteronormative norms/tropes, using another as a vehicle in order to keep up their cognitive dissonance.

Of course, this eventually spilled out into the Het fandom (makes perfect sense, since many of the a/b/o originators and proponents were het women), and then worked its way into Femslash fandom by piggybacking on g!p in order to meet the necessary criteria for PiV sex. 

Just, in this case, you necessarily shift some of the puzzle pieces around. Trans women take the place of the “alpha”, acting as an acceptable vehicle for a toxic masculine cis man, since lesbians aren’t into men. Even if the trans woman is generally written, in nearly every way aside from part of her body, as a toxic cis man. The original a/b/o’s “Bitch Male”/Omega Male is swapped out for the  Omega Female, usually a spunkier, more in your face version outside of romantic/sexual contexts in the media content, but let’s be real here, she’s still by and large submissive when it comes down to it. 

In a world where more wlw grew up feeling predatory for their attraction to other women, for feeling sinful, for being rejected from female intimacy het women enjoyed with each other after coming out, etc., it’s pretty common for a lot of lesbians to lack initiative, not be able to read or communicate romantic/sexual cues between each other...to essentially be “useless lesbians’ as the joke goes,and to feel isolated and undesirable. 

So writing a F/F fic where some hot woman modeled in the image of some hot cis woman pursues you? Takes the initiative sexually/romantically? Doesn’t beat around the bush, but is blatant? Who can’t control her lust around you? Who can give you the perfect nuclear family you’ve been conditioned to want in order to feel value in our heteronormative world, but were told you weren’t worthy of or could never feasibly attain? Who gives you a sexual encounter you have some education in and some emotional stake in due to common conditioning of PiV sex > all else? Who can give you plausible deniability for a number of contexts due to a lack of ability to explicitly consent? etc. etc.

Like, yeah, that’s going to feel comfortable for a lot out there. That’s going to seem pretty hot/arousing. It’s a way to get off on the norms and expectations thrown on women in society, but in a way that lets them distance themselves ever so slightly from men by shifting it from text to subtext, explicit to implicit.

Don’t just take my word for it, though. Here’s a few snippets from one of the most popular g!p/omegaverse femslash writers (if not the most popular) that help illustrate how/why this trope has found an audience

Why Do I Write G!P?The elephant in the room. It arouses me, but it’s also a form of self-comfort. I grew up in a very fundamentalist home. Women being with women was at first unspoken, and then derided, both by my church and at home. I felt insanely guilty for my attractions, so I developed ‘cheat codes’ to deal with it.

It was okay if the woman I had sex with in my dreams had a penis, for example. It was okay if she forced me to have sex with her. It was okay if we basically simulated heterosexual sex.

Because of my childhood (which included conversion therapy), I found myself falling into heterosexual roleplay patterns, at least sexually. It was a lingering thing from my childhood.

It’s still there, and I know I’ll never be rid of it.

...

I associate penetration with power. You know, being steeped in sexism from an early age turned some problematic thoughts into kinky lemonade. And since I’m a femme sub, taking power away from the top by ‘penetrating’ them can ruin the mood for me. I mean, I can write power bottom scenes with the best of them, and I enjoy them, but… *shrug* if I’m going to write omegaverse or g!p, someone’s getting fucked, and it’s not the top.

There are rules to a/b/o. There are specific reasons it’s sought out, read, and created, and that’s why it’s hard to imagine a version of it without those harmful elements, because the trope requires them for the audience to be satisfied.

It’s why all gay male a/b/o fits a pretty specific pattern. it’s why femslash a/b/o fits a very specific pattern. There’s nearly no deviation as a rule, because there are so many parts that have to be in play and functioning in a specific way in order to get the desired result. 

I could go on for hours about this, and the above is all a pretty damn simplified take of what’s going on in a/b/o for it to exist in the way it does and meet the needs of the audience, and I’ve already written a lot about this in the past, so I’ll try to cut it short here.

[girlswillbeboys-ep]

a letter to my parents

Dear Mom & Dad,

They say the hardest step in resolving a problem is admitting you have one. I have never been the type of person to run from my problems, I usually like to fix whatever the issue is as soon as it arises so that it doesn’t build up or get worse. Time and time again, throughout my entire life, and in the last three years especially, I have been trying, by any means possible, to escape this specific problem. Despite my efforts, I haven’t been able to. For a long time now, I have been trying to build up the courage to not only come clean about this to you guys, but to myself as well. 

In short, my brain has not, does not, and will never align with the anatomical sex that I was assigned at birth. In other words, I am transgender. This diagnosis is called “Gender Dysphoria.” Unlike most other medical conditions, you can’t see what I have on the outside; blood work can’t measure it, ultrasounds can’t detect it, and MRI’s can’t scan it. Like many diseases or birth defects, there is no clear cause, although there are theories.

Popular belief outside of the medical community holds that people with “Gender Dysphoria” are merely “Gender Confused.” This is far from the truth. No one would choose to undergo something so drastic and life-altering as this. If I had the choice, I would choose for these feelings to go away and for me to be like everyone else. I am making the choice to come out to you, and to move forward with transitioning, because if I don’t I will live miserably and as something I am not for the rest of my life, and I cannot do that. Yes, I am choosing to come out and live authentically, but I am certainly not choosing to be trans. We are born with this and it is inherent with us from our earliest recollections.

This probably comes as a shock to you both, and that was never my intent. I am sorry I kept something so important and serious from you for such a long time, but because of how negatively you both initially reacted to me being a lesbian, I was too afraid. I thought to myself, “If being a lesbian was extremely difficult for them to accept, being trans will be one step too far.” I had to move out of the house before I told you in case you responded badly. I didn’t want to go through what I went through back then again, I couldn’t. I am worried that after reading this letter, that you two will no longer want to be my parents or love me at all. I am worried that you will be embarrassed of me, disgusted with me, think I’m delusional or just going through a phase. I have been living with this fear inside myself for a long time now, but now I finally have the courage to say that with or without your love and support, I am going to take the necessary steps to become who I’ve always been.

From the outside looking in, I suspect that one would have thought I lived the good life. In many ways I have, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. They say, “never judge a book by it’s cover,” and unfortunately, you, and everyone else in my life was just seeing the cover. Inside was something much different. Nobody, not even those closest to me, could see my internal struggles and pain. I have been hurting for a long time now, but I couldn’t tell anyone out of fear of rejection.

In retrospect, I can see symptoms of me being trans from all the way back to my early childhood, as young as three years old. I will discuss this further with you if you would like. The real symptoms began around the time I started puberty, because that’s when my body began to develop in a female way and not a male way. Although I did not have the vocabulary at the time to describe what I was feeling, I now can look back and pinpoint exactly what was wrong. I was disgusted with myself due to the development of breasts specifically. While all the other girls my age were trying to emphasize their feminine bodies, I was trying to hide. At the time, I didn’t know exactly why I was so uncomfortable with myself, again, because I didn’t have the vocabulary. While most other 13 year old girls were insecure because boys didn’t like them and their boobs weren’t big enough, I was insecure because I didn’t fit in with the boys, and my boobs were growing. Most girls at that age were also insecure because they were “fat,” so I began to think that was what was wrong with me too, because what else would it be? Around this time is when I began to cut myself and starve myself; I never told anyone. I hid my pain because I didn’t understand what I was feeling, and I didn’t know what would become of me if anyone were to find out. I was ashamed of myself and how I felt. I tired to mirror the behavior of female role models and peers, thinking my actions would ultimately program my thinking. This was a false assumption, but as a child I knew no better. My brain could not relate to women, yet I kept going through the motions, playing a role so that I could be accepted. 

The feelings only continued when I got to high school. In 9th grade, I joined the basketball team, and on the team was a handful of “butch” lesbians if you will. Instantly upon meeting them, I related to them. They were girls like me, who dressed, behaved, and carried themselves in a more masculine way than other women. Before meeting them, I didn’t even know that it was possible for me to break outside of typical gender norms, especially now that I was getting older and being a “tomboy” wasn’t so normal anymore. I didn’t know that there were other people like me out there. By sophomore year, I had fully realized that I was a lesbian. I never have had any emotional or physical attraction to a male before or after that. Time went on, and I continued to dress in boys clothing and be attracted to girls. Although dressing in that way and being aware of my sexuality helped me feel far more comfortable than I was prior, those same feelings from years gone by still lingered, and got increasingly worse the more feminine my body became as it developed. Keep in mind, at this time, I was completely unaware of what transgender even was. I had never heard of the term before. Furthermore, I would try to minimize the appearance of my feminine features, such as breasts and hips, in any way I could. I would wear multiple sports bras to compress my chest and wear sweatpants or a long baggy t-shirt so that I could hide my hips. I’m going to be bluntly honest with you when I say this: I was absolutely horrified for you to find out I was a lesbian. With my Catholic upbringing, it was ingrained in me from an early age that heterosexual relationships were the only acceptable form of attraction or love. Along with that, and homophobic remarks I would hear you both occasionally make, I knew you would not be okay with it. I honestly cannot describe in words how deeply afraid I was of what would happen to me if I was to be outed. I didn’t plan on telling either of you until after I graduated from college so I wouldn’t have to deal with the repercussions, which obviously didn’t go as planned! This is around the time that I started to develop paranoia and anxiety about you finding out. I was constantly, and I mean constantly, thinking about it. For a long time, the fear would already be in my mind the moment I woke up in the morning, and wouldn’t leave until I fell asleep at night. Sometimes I would even have nightmares about it and would wake up with my heart pounding, covered in sweat. This was an extremely difficult time for me. I really struggled a lot and didn’t know how to help myself. Due to this high amount of paranoia, stress, and anxiety that was put upon me, the thoughts I had about how strongly I disliked my body were dulled, and moved their way from the front of my mind to the back. Then eventually you guys found out about my sexuality in July 2016, the summer before my senior year. Although it did take awhile, you came around eventually, especially in the past year and a half, which I am really, really happy about because I thought it would never happen. I didn’t have to worry about being outed anymore, and all that paranoia and anxiety I had been experiencing slowly faded away. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders and my heart felt lighter. Unfortunately, as those feelings faded, the thoughts about my body moved from the back of my mind to the front yet again. Toward the end of my senior year, a friend introduced me to her friend, who happened to be a female to male transgender man. This was my first time meeting a trans person, and this was the first time I became aware of the term. After meeting him and hanging out, I immediately started doing research on what being transgender was and what it entailed. Instantly, I was putting the puzzle pieces together about why I felt the way I felt. It slowly began to make sense. A few days later, I reached out to the transgender guy I had hung out with, and was telling him that I thought I could possibly be trans too, and that I wanted to know more about it from someone who is actually going through it. He started telling me about how he felt, his experiences he had as a child, feelings about his body, etc. Again, I related to everything he told me. This was almost a relief because now there was a name for what I had been feeling all along, but also horrified me because it’s a huge, life-altering change that involved medical intervention, as well as socially transitioning. But what really scared me the most about being trans was the fear that you guys wouldn’t accept me, and that you would not want to be my parents anymore. I had already been through so much with coming out as a lesbian, and I didn’t want to throw any wrenches in the gears when things just started to get better, so I kept quiet and didn’t tell anyone else for a long, long time.

I kept quiet, but I kept doing research, and the more stories I read the more I related, and the more these stories sounded like me and my life experiences. As I began to realize more and more that I was trans, I also began to be more and more afraid all over again. Afraid of what you would think, afraid of what others would think, afraid of changing my name, afraid of surgery, afraid of being discriminated against, and afraid that I was wrong about being trans all together. I worried that I was simply trying to fit in somewhere; I worried that I wanted a male body so much that I was conjuring proof of my transness by taking a bunch of unrelated issues I had throughout my life and forcing them to be trans related; taking a bunch of symptoms and deciding the root of them. Mostly I worried that there was something wrong with me and that I was trying to sabotage my own life. At the same time, though, I knew that these thoughts always started up late at night, when I had a bad day, and that if I transitioned I’d be alone, die alone, and never be loved again. In other words, I was terrified of a future I didn’t know. Still, knowing that fear was likely the cause of my doubt, it took me a year of back and forth, a year of confiding in friends I could trust, and a year of therapy to finally sit down and write this letter. Getting to this point has been far from easy, and there will be many more hurdles to jump over down the road. Just getting to the point where I can write this letter is a huge milestone for me, as it shows just how far I have come in understanding myself and accepting myself for who I am, despite it being the road less traveled by.

I want you both to know that this is absolutely without a doubt, in any way at all, your fault. You did absolutely nothing wrong in raising me, and that is the last thing I want you to think. I know that as my parents, you probably had an idea of who I would become when I grew up, and I know that this is definitely not what either of you had in mind. But I want you to know that although I didn’t turn out to be exactly what you pictured, I will always, always, be the same person you have known and loved—just a happier, healthier, more authentic version of myself. I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart if this has hurt you in any way; that was never my intent. You are receiving this letter because I love you unconditionally, no matter the ups and downs, and I care about you both enough to share something so vulnerable, emotional, and raw with you. I don’t tell either of you enough how much I love you and how grateful I am for you and everything you’ve done for me in life. I desire nothing more than for you both to stick by me through this and love me for who I am, but I recognize that that may not be the case. I am okay with that. However, I want you to know that you both will forever have a special place in my heart and I will always treasure all the memories and good times we have had together, even if you choose not to support me. 

Thank you for reading the entire way through, I know it’s a lot to digest all at once, but I am willing to talk to you about this even more in-depth if you wish. I want to be as transparent as possible so that you can understand what I’m going through to the best of your ability. There are no wrong questions to ask, all I ask is that you are respectful of me when discussing it further. This isn’t going to be easy for you or for me, but having the love and support of my family  would help tremendously, but if not, I understand. Reach out to me and let me know your decision. 

With love,

Luke

[laurinebruder]

Ree’s Reading Rambles

Sea of Strangers by Erica Cameron

Welcome, dear readers, to my first book review of the month, and, well, my first book review ever on this blog! I'm so excited, and kinda nervous, but mostly excited. As part of my goals for January, I said I would read 5 new books and write a review about each one. To kick things off, I have Erica Cameron's Sea of Strangers, book 2 in The Ryogan Chronicles.

Let's dive in!

THE PLOT

Sea of Strangers is the sequel to Erica Cameron's Island of Exiles. Released in December of 2017, Sea of Strangers follows the continuing struggles of Khya, a young woman who is determined to kill the leader of her former tribe and save her brother and her people. The problem is, the leader, Varan, is immortal and cannot be killed.

Along with new allies and old friends, Khya journeys to the land of Ryogo to find the source of Varan's immortality and a way to kill him. However, by the time Khya learns his secret, an army of magical warriors, led by Varan and made up of her former clan members, have crossed the sea to destroy Khya, her allies, and all of Ryogo.

Overall, I found the plot to be engaging, with its own set of stakes that rise as the story progresses. In traveling to a new land, it spices up the setting, which gives readers (and the characters) something new to explore and new challenges to face. The land of Ryogo is so different from the deserts of Shiara, where the previous book took place, with its own people, culture, etc. making it as well formed as the setting of the first book.

Also, as a Midwesterner, Khya and her friends' reactions to cold and snow for the first time is hilarious and I sympathized completely.

The pace remained at a good clip, giving the reader fast, action/fleeing scenes, while interspersed with slower, more intimate scenes. However, I did find myself skimming in some areas. While Strangers does have enough to make it fresh, it does fall into a bit of “middle book” syndrome in that the characters' main purpose is to find a weapon to kill the big bad, Varan. Varan himself looms over the entire course of the book, the eternal threat, but doesn't make an appearance until the end. So, the stakes rise, but since the arrival of the big bad is so dragged out, urgency is lost.

Unlike the first book, there also wasn't a “big twist” or “big reveal” but there were several small surprises scattered through the book that I thought were well done. Methods of spying, a betrayal, unexpected discoveries, and things of that nature. While the mystery wasn't as deep as Island, this book wasn't as much about the mystery, that was solved last book. Strangers is more focused on the aftermath of that discovery, what can be done to prepare for it, and how the characters are coping with the aftermath of the revelations.

The last chapter ended on a cliffhanger, where the stakes hit sky high, and was followed by an epilogue that both shocked and weirded me out. Not in a bad way weird, but in an, “Omg, that's so horrible to think about!” way.

But a good plot is nothing without good characters, so now it's time for my favorite section.

THE CHARACTERS

Sea of Strangers boasts a lot of faces, old and new, but I'm going to talk about the main players in this saga: Tessen, Sanii, and Khya. There will be a bit about the side characters at the end, but these three are, well, “The Big Three,” so to speak (references!) We'll start with the man who I found myself liking despite myself: Tessen.

In Island, Tessen seemed to me the typical love interest: handsome, strong, arrogant, leading lady can't stand him, etc. etc. But there was a vulnerable side to Tessen, one I had to squint to see, but comes to the forefront in Strangers. Tessen is used to being the best, the strongest, the leader, but in the land of Ryogo, while he's still all of those things, he's also become uncertain. The events of the first book shook his entire universe, as they shook everyone, so he's not as confident or as cocky, but it's still there.

I liked this vulnerability in him. It made him more real to me, and I was able to connect to him better. Tessen messes up, he overlooks things, he's scared, yet acts like he's not, but in those rare moments, he lets himself admit that he is. We see a deep, tender moment between him and Khya, where he admits that most touch is overwhelming to him, due to his magic. Yet he embraces her despite his discomfort because of how much he cares for her.

But Tessen is more than his status as a love interest. He's a valuable part of the team. He finds traps and enemies with his magic, he fights enemies, he protects the others, and continues to grow and struggle along with everyone. Although, I do wish that he got a bigger role in the overall picture and was Khya's true equal (more on that in a bit), but I'll take what I can get.

Next, Sanii. Sanii is also a love interest who is more than his role. While he's the love interest to Khya's brother, Yorri, he's also the one who figured out there was a mystery and instigated events in the first book that led them to where they are. Though he was an unassuming character from the lowest class in Island, in this book he gets to grow and develop his own strengths.

Though he can't fight and his magic is limited, he isn't afraid to take risks for the others. He also supplies input when it comes to tactics and strategies, working with Tessen and Khya in that regard. More than that, he also serves as the voice of hope and the reminder of what they're fighting for. He reminds Khya that while their goal is to stop Varan, their ultimate goal is to rescue Khya's brother and return home. Or whatever is left of home once they kill the big bad. The point is that Sanii looks beyond the immediate problem to see the future beyond. He's not thinking of killing Varan just to “stop the baddie and save the world,” he's thinking about killing him so he can return to a life together with his beloved. It's rare that a character thinks of the future beyond the immediate plot and I appreciated that so much.

This lack of vision is something Khya lacks. A lot.

Khya as a character has, to me, always read as stoic. Strangers does expand her character arc, though. She has to step into her much-coveted leader position, but realizes the heavy burdens which come with it. Namely: the responsibility of others' lives, the need to have all the answers, the pressure to make the hard choices, and so forth. She is a strong woman who pushes herself to the brink, grinding herself into dust, and puts everything on the line for her friends and allies.

However, she's missing a big part of her character, and that is her relationship with Yorri, her brother. While she loved her brother and risked everything to save him, she never struck me as having a life or interests outside of Yorri or her desire to beat Tessen and climb the ranks of her clan. Now, with Yorri being “off-screen” so to speak, and not involved in the plot, it creates distance in their relationship and that part of Khya's character is weakened.

Her lack of vision for the future, her separation from her brother, and the events of the plot which “other” her from her group all add up to place her dangerously close to the Stoic YA Heroine trope. While she has her strong points and flaws, it was hard to connect with her on an emotional level because of how driven she's become, that she lets personal relationships, personal stakes, fall to the wayside in the wake of killing Varan.

As for the side characters, they varied in terms of development. I didn't get much from Khya's group from book 1, but there was a romantic trio that gained some development when one of the lovers suffered a bad injury. Lo'a was a great addition, mysterious, beautiful, clever, and sly, and I wished her, Tessen, and Khya could've become a trio. But I digress. I enjoyed Lo'a, her family, and their culture. They could have fallen into stereotypes of the repressed, but I think Ms. Cameron handled their culture with care and respect, as she has all the others in the series.

Speaking of things that Ms. Cameron has handled well...

THINGS I LIKED

The biggest thing that had me squeeing since book 1 is how Ms. Cameron handles sexuality, diversity, and inclusiveness. Every end of the LGBTQA+ spectrum is included along with heterosexuality. She even had a special word to describe ace! Which, as an ace reader, I appreciated SO MUCH. This is the most diverse book series I've ever read. No matter how you identify in the sexuality spectrum, there is representation here.

Speaking of representation, may I talk about how ladies are portrayed? Yes? Excellent. See, gender roles? “Traditional” gender roles? They don't exist in this universe. Anyone can be anything to anyone. It's amazing. It's treated in such a nonchalant manner, that I accepted it without question. Strong women are respected, not because of how “masculine” they are, but for their skills to protect the clan. Men who may not be able to fight can still garner respect for the work they do. Everyone, even the lowest in the caste system, can choose how to live their personal lives. If they prefer men, they can be with men. If they're not interested, there's no pressure to be with someone. Someone wants to be in a poly relationship? No problem.

It continues to blow my mind.

One last thing: I liked the struggle of Khya and the others in discovering who they are, who they could be, now that they've left the clan. Their whole lives were shown to be based on lies. All they knew has been destroyed, so they have the chance to build something completely new, go back to the past ways, or try to combine the best of both aspects. It's amazing, how the power of choice clashes with the power of tradition. Kinda reflects real life, don't you think?

OVERALL THOUGHTS

There is one thing that I wanted to mention that didn't really fit anywhere else. This book is hard to read because of all of the fantasy language terms. In Island, the language of Shiara was introduced and the reader was thrust in without any preparation or idea of what was talked about. A lot had to be taken from context and that carries over into this book. There are new languages, new terms, with the introduction of a new place and culture, so it can pull a reader out and make it harder to connect with the story. It did that to me, until I ended up skipping over the terms just so I wouldn't pull away. The long, flowing language of Lo'a and her people? ...Yeah, no. I didn't even bother trying to sound those phrases out.

I wish that the plot had had a little more tension, rather than the characters meandering from place to place. This was less of a “mystery disguised as fantasy” and more of a “scavenger hunt/quest disguised as fantasy” without a real reward at the end. The cliffhanger and epilogue set up the next book very well and I will continue with this series, to see where Ms. Cameron takes the characters and how the epic climax comes about.

I enjoyed the book, glad I picked it up, and would give it a 3.5 out of 5. If you like books about female warriors, unique settings, diversity for days, and awesome magic systems, then check it out and give it a read.

Whew, that was a long one. I hope you've enjoyed my first book review and remember, there are going to be 4 more (I hope) throughout the month of January.

Thank you so much for stopping by. Please leave a comment, like, share, or what have you if you've enjoyed this post and look for new posts on Tuesday. If you want to reach me on social media, I'm on Twitter @LaurineBruder or send a question to my ask box here on tumblr. Take care, everyone, and I'll see you next time.

[iamthestrangerinmoscow]

1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21, 22, 24, 26, 27, 29 Sorry I am curious (answer at your own volition)

Lol it’s okay, it’s not like I have anything better to do right now (tired beyond words…)

1. what is your sexuality?

I’m bisexual. I chose the label bisexual over pansexual because I don’t feel like I’m “gender blind” - I’m attracted to different things for different genders (tbh I also chose it because of the pun making opportunities).

2. what do gender do you identify as?

Eh it’s kinda complicated. I think “male-aligned genderqueer” describes me best, but I actually wouldn’t object to being called a genderqueer man (or a genderqueer FTM). It’s hard for me to define.

One version is that I’m really nonbinary and male/man is how I can describe where I see myself in society and how I know my body is supposed to be like. Another version is that I’m partially male and partially genderqueer. I don’t know and I don’t really want to label it beyond “male-aligned genderqueer”.

3. how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender?

With sexuality, I started using “bisexual” for myself at the age of 15, but I’m pretty sure I already experienced sexual attraction at 13 and if I learned that word back then, I could have started using it then. I know I’ve had crushes on boys and girls before puberty, and I was consistently attracted to both men and women from puberty. So it wasn’t hard to figure out.

With gender, kinda more complicated. In childhood, there were signs™. During puberty, I’ve started feeling dysphoria, but I didn’t know such thing existed so I couldn’t know what it meant. I’ve learned that transmasculine people existed at the age of 16 (wow right?? representation matters) and started questioning gender pretty soon after that. I think I started identifying as nonbinary when I was 17, but I don’t remember very well.

4. do you have any preferences?

Yeah, but they aren’t strong. I’m more attracted to women and nonbinary/gender ambiguous people sexually, and more attracted to men romantically. I’d say it’s about a 40%/60% split for both.

8. how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media?

I’m pretty chill, but I do think representation is very important. The only reason I found out bisexuality existed is through House MD. If I saw a trans man on TV as a 13-14 year old, maybe I’d figure it out sooner. And I won’t even talk about how important it is for both LGBT+ people (validation and support) and others (visibility and education).

12. what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens?

Don’t give up. I know you are tired of hearing “it gets better” - I was tired too. It made me so so angry. However, as hard as it is, sometimes the only thing you can do is wait. Build strength, support yourself with kind, accepting people, and don’t lose hope. No matter how bad it seems, it won’t last forever.

Being questioning is hard. Being in the closet is hard. Coming out is hard. Dealing with queerphobic people is hard. Living in the world today as a LGBT+ person is hard. But you are strong enough to survive every single thing because guess what? Every horrible thing, every heartbreak, every bad day so far… you have survived it all. You will survive *this* too.

14. how do you feel about the term “coming out” ?

Considering it’s short for “coming out of the closet”, I think it’s pretty accurate. Closets can be dark, lonely places, but they are also safe. If you know you won’t be in danger, coming out might be great - but if you have to stay in that closer for some time, it’s okay too. So yeah, I think the term is pretty good.

16. any tips on coming out?

Don’t have expectations, I guess? Really though, being prepared for acceptance and not getting it is horrible. Preparing yourself for hate and conflict is horrible too. So just don’t have expectations. Go into it thinking “I know I will be physically safe [because you should be! don’t come out if you aren’t] and I will deal with anything else as it occurs”.

Also don’t rush it, please. You will know when you are ready. Coming out when you aren’t ready can be so hard.

17. what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media?

LGBT+ characters getting killed at disproportionate rates is the biggest one. Horrendously inaccurate representation is the close second.

18. what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media?

LGBT+ characters being accepted and supported by friends, family and other random characters. It makes me cry happy tears. Also smashing those damn stereotypes. Also gay jokes.

19. what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school?

I won’t talk about school cause yeah… bad memories.

My uni seems to be pretty liberal though. I haven’t heard many opinions, but I was pleasantly surprised at anthropology. The anthro prof talking about gender, sexuality, monogamy and so on was very investing, and validating. And I haven’t heard a single homophobic/transphobic thing from any other professor. So yeah, mostly it’s great.

21. what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender?

Lol for the sake of simplicity let’s say men are the same gender for me and women are the opposite gender. For men, genuine cruelty, aggression, etc - I can’t, it just scares the shit out of me. For women, being passive and complacent - idk, it just makes me sad. I guess for both, it’s the extreme performance of traditional gender roles…

22. what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender?

For men, not being afraid to be emotional/vulnerable/human (not to the point of being passive though, don’t like that in anyone…) and also sarcasm/dark sense of humor (idk why I don’t like that in girls…). For women, being sassy or just funny, and also being badass (um guess who has a crush on Buffy the Vampire Slayer). And for anyone: being passionate about something, doesn’t matter what.

24. how do you feel about the term “queer” ?

You can fight me on this but I think it’s a great term. Maybe cis gay men and cis lesbians don’t need it, but for pretty much anyone else in LGBT+, it can be so useful. Like, do you expect me to explain to everyone that I’m a bisexual transgender male-aligned nonbinary person? Cause it’s much easier to say “I’m queer”. I understand that it used to be a slur, however it’s not the same as some other slurs and has been reclaimed. So I’m pro using it.

26. favorite lgbtq actor/actress?

Kristen Stewart and Stephen Fry, if I can only choose two.

27. any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news?

Mmmm… be respectful, I guess? You can totally take part in events and discussions, just don’t talk over LGBT+ people and remember that their voices are more important in those cases.

29. how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender?

I don’t mind it. There aren’t many places where LGBT+ people can feel relatively safe in a community of people who share their experiences, so I’m all here for taking part in discussions and sharing my thoughts.

[fyrapartnersearch]

Looking for partners that will allow me to write some pre-made character ideas that I have!

Hello! My name's Rain, and I'm a 21-year-old who has been roleplaying for approximately 6 years (but only in the most recent 4 or 5 have I really been "serious"). After being dragged by the ankles (although not without a struggle) into a hellish chasm of personal issues that has kept me from writing, I’ve finally managed to work everything out and am now itching to get back into the roleplaying-game! I'm hoping that I can find some good partners to satiate my cravings, and hopefully I can satiate some of yours too. I'm particularly looking to write some ideas that I have for characters. If you emailed me in the past and I didn’t respond, shoot me another email! Like I said, I had some things get in the way, so I’d be up for rekindling a past roleplay or picking up planning where we left off.

I can write replies ranging anywhere from 500-1200 words average - I know that's a rather big window to call my "average", but I don't want to make it sound like that's my strict length. This equates to around 3-8 paragraphs, but that obviously will vary depending on the size of the paragraph. I can certainly go upwards from 1200 and have gone on to posts with 2000+, however that's usually too much for most people. Essentially, I'll write the same amount you write so that it's not over or underwhelming. Let me know your range and I'll adapt! Although, if you would be willing to write 1500+/2000+ words a post, then you’d earn quite a bit on bonus points from me.

In terms of writing style, I write third person, past tense, multi-paragraph to novella. HERE are some samples of my writing! The first was an intro so it’s quite long, and the second is from the same roleplay as the first. The third is from a separate one.

I'm also putting this up front - my schedule's a bit wonky. There will be some days where we can go back and forth multiple times with multiple posts each and there will be some days where I can't reply at all. I'll try my best to let you know in advance if there will be a period of 2+ days where I can't reply, but things happen. My activity rate is partially dependent on interest level as well - if I'm really into and excited about our roleplay, I'll be able to reply more often!

On a similar note, I'm on the east coast (EST) if that's an important factor for you.

I'm open to playing multiple characters if that suits your fancy, or, if you'd rather just play one each, that's fine by me as well.

For relationship pairings, I do all different kinds: romantic/sexual, platonic, familial, and antagonistic. I think it's fine to mix and match all these different kids because they can make for some interesting character interaction! As for the gender pairings of the characters, I'm mostly looking for m/f, but depending on the idea/character I may do m/m (but please, make sure you ask first!).

Regarding the above, I very much prefer the female role in m/f pairings but of course in m/m pairings I will play a male. I also find it interesting to write against more dominant male characters for heterosexual pairings, but that's certainly not required. I can totally get behind a shy sweetheart of a guy as well! In the end, it’s your character, so it’s up to you! I don't usually double in terms of each partner playing one male and one female, either - I know that is a deal-breaker for many, so I apologize for that. I may be willing to double in certain cases, but I’m not easily convinced - however, if you think you have mastered the arts of persuasion, then by all means, try to persuade me. I’m open to it.

I'm smut friendly as well and don’t mind including it in my roleplays, but it's really dependent on the content of the story itself. I don't necessarily want a story that is focused solely on smut, but I wouldn’t mind having it play a part (whether it’s small or large, that’s for you to decide). Going along with the NSFW theme, I'm all for most kinks - you name it, and more likely than not I'll be willing to write it, but I would still rather you check with me first. The only ones that I won't do and can't be convinced to do are pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality, anything with body fluids, feet, pregnancy/lactation, vore, and gore. Everything else is fair game. Note that of those, gore and only gore is fine when not employed sexually (i.e. if the characters are fighting or in battle or are doing something violent of the sort, then it is totally fine). If you’d like to include smut, ask me for my list of kinks and share yours with me as well!

I use face-claims for all of my characters and only use realistic images.

I'm only interested in roleplaying over email at the moment. My email is ofliliesandfoxgloves@gmail.com.

What I'm Looking for in a Partner

Now that we've got those basics out of the way, there are certain things that I would like out of a partner that hopefully someone can provide!

Be 18+, please. I know I'm technically on the younger end of the adult spectrum but I still feel uncomfortable roleplaying with minors (especially because some of my plots can contain smut).

I would prefer if you were female, just because I am more comfortable roleplaying and writing with someone who is the same gender as I am, but that isn’t a requirement, as I don't want to totally limit the partners that reach out to me and potentially miss out on a fantastic male, nonbinary, etc. partner just because they aren't female.

I'm looking for someone who can at least mirror or match my minimum post length, so no fewer than 3-4 paragraphs or 500 or so words. Again, if you want to write longer replies that span the 1500+ word range, than that would be even better!

I would like if you wrote in the third person. Tense doesn't matter - write present or past, that's up to you. But I won't roleplay with anyone who writes in the first or second person, as it is a little weird to me.

If you can get me at least one post every other day, I'd be happy! If you can get me more than that, even better! Also, let me know if you're not going to be able to reply for a prolonged period of time so that I'm not sitting on my hands wondering where you went.

Likewise, if you want to drop the roleplay for any reason, just let me know! I won't be mad if it's not working out, I just don't want to be ghosted by someone who doesn't want to continue and instead never replies again.

If you can play multiple characters, that would be wonderful, but again, it's certainly not a requirement.

Use realistic face claims for characters, please! No anime or cartoons, but if you are an artist that has a more realistic style and would like to use your own art, then that is fine by me!

When you email me, let me know which things listed below interest you/you would want to include! Tell me a little about yourself and the way you write as well (including whether or not you would like to include smut in the roleplay as well as your limits if it's the latter).

Also, if you have an idea that I haven't listed, ask/tell me! I'm very open to suggestions!

Roleplay Information/Characters

On to the part that you've actually wanted to see! I’m not quite sure what to call this section, but it’s essentially a summary (more like bullets) of some characters that I already have ideas for that can be used in various different scenarios and plot-lines. They are in no particular order. If you are willing to let me use one of these, that will earn you major bonus points with me! Let me know if you are interested in any and I can elaborate. Most of them don’t have names yet (and the ones that do are subject to change) because I am very picky with names, aha, but I’ll think of those later. There obviously aren’t many of these at the moment, but there will likely be more of these added in the future. Anything with a plus (+) is one I am really dying to use! If you have an idea for/an already made character that you think would pair well with any of these, please describe them to me! Or, alternatively, if you have any characters you’ve been dying to use, let me know! Perhaps I can create a character to write opposite them. I'll note what type of relationship I would be interested in writing for a particular character (romantic/sexual, platonic, familial, or antagonistic) as well; we can also combine some of the four (like a romantic/sexual and antagonistic would be fun). I’m up for fluff or action or anything in between, so let me know what you want!

i. anny // female // early to mid twenties // heterosexual // asian // american // laid-back; quiet; passive-aggressive; collected, sly; manipulative; understanding; charming; grew up wealthy, still is wealthy, doesn’t bring up financial situation much; has danced in various genres since she was little, still does; english major, cognitive science minor; plays the violin; dislikes uncleanliness; editor.

ii. olson // male // mid twenties // bisexual, prefers men // caucasian // american // + // bitter; sarcastic; serious; aloof; intelligent; private; defensive; lost hearing in his early childhood, received cochlear implants in late adolescence, speech still sounds “different” from a hearing person’s; knows American Sign Language (ASL) and English; film/television production and mathematics double major, art history minor; likes maps; doesn’t particularly like physical contact; photographer [note: would prefer to write him against a character who is hearing and able to talk rather than another character on the mute/hard-of-hearing spectrum].

Contact

That's all I can think of at the moment! Again, if there's anything else not listed that you've been dying to try out, let me know! More likely than not, I'll say yes and jump right on board. Shoot me an email at ofliliesandfoxgloves@gmail.com with your interests and a little information about yourself (ex: average post length, activity, etc.). If you shoot me a message just saying a pairing you were interested in without telling me about yourself, then I won't be as inclined to reply since I don't know if our styles would match up! So please, tell me about yourself - I promise I won't bite!