#but i still don't see a likely path for us to get back to the trial ring. so. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

goblin-jr · 3 days ago

Text

And then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you.

Part 12 of 12

Synopsis: endings

Pairing: unrequited JJ x Reader, Eventual Rafe x Reader

Warnings: violence?

masterlist

—

The sun was beginning to dip low on the horizon, casting an amber glow over the beach as the Pogues lounged in the sand, kicking back after a long, quiet afternoon. Pope and Kie were in the shallows, talking softly while John B. tried to fix an old boat motor that had been giving them trouble. JJ sprawled on a towel beside Y/N, tossing a small rock into the air and catching it absently, his usual energy subdued.

Y/N hadn’t missed the shift in his mood since the Midsummer’s Ball. He’d grown distant, quiet, like he was keeping something to himself. She couldn’t decide whether to be grateful that he hadn’t confronted her or frustrated that he couldn’t just say what was on his mind.

"Hey, you guys hear about the Kooks causing trouble around here again?" Kie asked, breaking the silence, her voice laced with annoyance.

Y/N glanced over at Kie, eyebrows raised. "What do you mean?"

"Just… they're getting bold," Kie muttered, shaking her head. "Topper’s been running his mouth about us. Can't stand the guy."

Before anyone could respond, the sound of an engine rumbled in the distance, cutting through the calm evening air. Y/N’s heart skipped as she looked up to see a familiar Jeep coming down the winding path toward the beach. Topper, Kelce, Ruthie, and—Y/N's stomach twisted—Rafe.

"Ugh, speak of the devil," Kie muttered under her breath, pushing herself up from the sand.

Y/N felt the tension immediately. The Kooks had no business being here, especially not now, not after everything. The last thing they needed was a confrontation—yet, it seemed like they were heading straight for it.

Topper’s voice rang out first, full of mockery. "Oh, look at this—Pogues on the beach, doing what they do best—being poor and pathetic."

Rafe climbed out of the Jeep, his eyes scanning the group, but instead of the usual smugness, there was something more measured in his stance. He was trying to play it cool, trying not to make things more obvious than they already were. Y/N could almost see the internal battle on his face.

"Not today, Topper," Rafe’s voice was low but firm, a hint of an order laced in the words. “We’re not here for this.”

Topper ignored him, turning to Pope with a sneer. "You think you're better than us, don't you? Maybe it's time we teach you a lesson."

He shoved Pope roughly, sending him stumbling back into the sand. Pope scrambled to his feet, but before he could get a word out, Topper’s fist was already in motion, landing a blow square to Pope’s jaw.

"Hey!" JJ was on his feet in an instant, charging toward Topper, but Rafe stepped between them before the fight could escalate. "Knock it off, all of you," Rafe said, his voice harder now. He glared at Topper and Kelce, his posture tense as he put a hand on Topper's chest, holding him back.

Topper’s eyes flicked to Rafe with confusion, then to Pope, who was trying to regain his balance. "What the hell is this, Rafe? You’re gonna side with these losers?"

"Just get out of here, Topper," Rafe repeated, his voice colder now. "You don’t want this fight. Not today."

Kelce, still looking a little too eager for a scuffle, tried to lunge forward, but Rafe’s hand shot out, grabbing his shoulder and pushing him back with surprising strength. "I said leave."

Topper glared at him, but the warning in Rafe’s tone was clear. Without another word, they backed off, getting into the Jeep and peeling away from the beach. The Pogues were left standing there, still in shock, the tension hanging thick in the air.

Y/N rushed over to Pope, checking on him. "You okay?"

He nodded, brushing sand off his clothes. "Just a scratch, I’ll be fine."

The others gathered around, murmuring in confusion. It was obvious that Rafe had done something none of them expected—he had sided with them, helped them out. But why?

"Why the hell did he do that?" Kie asked, looking out toward the retreating Jeep. "That’s not like him. Why the sudden change?"

Y/N stood still for a moment, her heart pounding in her chest. She took a deep breath before stepping forward, speaking calmly but firmly. "I… I’m the reason."

The group turned toward her, eyes wide with confusion. "What do you mean?" Pope asked, frowning.

"I’ve been… I’ve been seeing Rafe," Y/N admitted, feeling the weight of their stares. "We’re together."

Silence hung in the air for a long moment as the group processed her words. Kie’s jaw dropped, and she let out a sharp, incredulous laugh. "Wait, what? Are you serious?"

Y/N nodded. "I know it’s not what you expected, but he’s different now. He’s changed. He’s not the same person he was."

Kie’s eyes narrowed, her face reddening with anger. "Are you serious, Y/N? After everything that guy’s done, you’re dating him?"

Y/N took a step back, feeling the sting of Kie’s reaction. "I know it’s hard to believe, but—"

Pope cut her off, his voice quieter than usual. "You’re really with him? After everything? Even knowing who he is?"

Y/N swallowed hard, trying to find the words. "It’s not easy, okay? But he’s not like the Kooks anymore. He’s not like Topper or Kelce. He’s… trying. And I believe in him."

John B. was oddly quiet. Too quiet. He stared at the ground, his hands shoved into his pockets. His silence didn’t escape Y/N’s notice. There was something in the air between them, a silent understanding that was hard to place.

Finally, she couldn’t stand it any longer. "JJ," she said softly, turning to him. "What do you think?"

JJ looked up at her, his face unreadable, his eyes too calm. Too calm. Y/N felt her blood run cold, the realization dawning on her slowly.

He already knew.

"JJ?" Her voice trembled now. "You knew?"

He gave her a small, tight-lipped smile, shrugging slightly. "I figured it out. A while ago."

Y/N felt a chill creep through her. "Why didn’t you say anything?"

JJ didn’t answer right away. He just looked at her for a long moment, his gaze heavy with something unreadable. "You didn’t need me to say anything," he finally replied, his voice thick with regret. "I thought you had it under control. But I guess I was wrong."

The words hit Y/N harder than she expected. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected from him, but this… this quiet acknowledgment made it worse.

Without another word, JJ turned away, walking toward the ocean, his figure slowly disappearing into the fading light.

Y/N stood frozen, her heart pounding in her chest. She wanted to go after him, to fix things, but something told her she couldn’t. Not now. Not like this.

As the sun set, casting the beach in hues of orange and pink, Y/N realized that the silence between her and JJ might be the loudest thing she’d ever hear.

—

The sky had darkened, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore was the only noise filling the night air as Y/N walked along the beach, her feet sinking into the wet sand. She hadn’t planned to come here—hadn’t really planned anything��but the need for space, for clarity, had led her here, away from the group and their questions.

But she wasn’t alone for long.

“Hey,” JJ’s voice broke through the quiet, and Y/N looked over to see him standing a few steps behind her, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie. His hair was messy, his face unreadable.

“You found me,” Y/N said, managing a small smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She had expected him to follow her. She’d known it was only a matter of time.

“Couldn’t stay away, could I?” JJ replied, a hint of his usual smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, but it faded quickly. “We need to talk.”

Y/N nodded, stepping aside to let him walk up beside her. For a few moments, neither of them spoke, the rhythm of the ocean filling the space between them. Y/N’s thoughts were racing—this conversation had been inevitable, but she wasn’t sure how to even start. There was so much she wanted to say, but part of her didn’t know where to begin.

“How long have you known?” she asked, her voice soft but steady as she turned to face him. “About Rafe and me.”

JJ glanced over at her, a sad smile tugging at his lips, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. His hands were shoved into his pockets, his posture defensive but tired. He didn’t answer immediately, instead choosing to stare out at the dark water rolling in front of them.

After a beat, he sighed deeply. “Since Midsummers,” he said quietly. “I’ve known for a while.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. Her blood ran a little cold at the calmness in his voice. “For weeks?” she asked, almost in disbelief. “You’ve known about us for that long?”

JJ was silent for a moment, his gaze flicking to the water before locking with hers. “I saw you two at Midsummer’s. I saw the way you looked at him, the way he looked at you.” His voice wavered slightly, but he pressed on. “I thought I knew what was going on. I thought you were just caught up in something with him, like maybe it was just a stupid mistake. But when I saw you laughing—like, really laughing, for the first time in so long—I realized... you don’t need me, Y/N.”

“You know, I thought I had it figured out. But when you told them about you and Rafe… I guess I didn’t expect it to hit like that.”

Y/N exhaled slowly, letting the words hang in the air between them. “I know it wasn’t easy for you to hear. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

JJ chuckled softly, but it didn’t sound like his usual laugh. It was empty. “Hurt me? Nah. I’m not mad, if that’s what you’re asking. I didn’t want to be the one to push you into saying something you weren’t ready for.” He looked over at her then, his eyes searching. “And now... now I just feel like I pushed you away.”

Y/N frowned, her chest tightening. She hadn’t expected him to say that, hadn’t expected the guilt that weighed heavy in his tone. "JJ, no. You didn’t push me away."

“I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I was too busy with my own stuff, too wrapped up in whatever was going on with me.” JJ’s voice cracked slightly, and for a moment, Y/N thought he might say more, but instead, he just exhaled sharply. “I didn’t even see what was happening between you and Rafe. I should’ve been there for you. But I didn’t—"

"JJ," Y/N interrupted gently, her voice soft but firm. She stepped closer to him, meeting his gaze. "You didn’t do anything wrong. What happened between me and Rafe��it’s not about you. It’s about me. I had to make my own choices, and I did. But it wasn’t because of you or anything you did—or didn’t do. It was because I needed to figure out who I am. I can’t keep waiting for people to tell me who I should be or what I should do."

She paused, watching him carefully. "I know it’s hard, but I’m not doing this to hurt you. It’s not about you."

JJ seemed to absorb her words for a long moment, his expression unreadable. His lips pressed together in that familiar tight line, but his shoulders had relaxed a little. “I get it. I think I do, at least. I just… I’m not used to you being like this. I’m not used to seeing you with him, of all people.”

Y/N nodded slowly, her gaze softening. "I get that. I don’t expect you to understand everything, but I don’t want you to think it’s something you did. You’ve always been there for me, even when I didn’t deserve it."

JJ looked at her for a long moment, then exhaled, scratching the back of his neck, his signature half-smile tugging at his lips. "I guess I’m not as good at this whole ‘being a friend’ thing as I thought. But hey, if Rafe makes you happy, I’ll deal with it." His voice grew more serious. "I just want you to be okay, Y/N. That’s all I’ve ever wanted."

JJ stared at her for a long moment, the silence stretching between them like an insurmountable wall. Finally, he let out a long, tired sigh. “I get it,” he said, his voice quiet now. “I just—I guess I didn’t expect to feel so damn useless.”

Y/N’s heart twisted in her chest. She stepped forward, closing the gap between them, her hand resting gently on his arm. “You’re not useless, JJ. You’re not. You’ve always been there for me. Always. But I have to figure this out for myself. And I’m sorry if that’s hard to hear. I never meant for it to be this way.”

He looked down at her hand for a moment, then met her gaze. His eyes were still filled with that mix of sadness and understanding, but there was something else there now—a hint of resignation, like he was finally accepting the way things had to be.

“I know,” he said softly. “And maybe I do need to let go a little. It’s just... hard.” He shrugged, a weak attempt at a smile tugging at his lips. “But I’ll get there. Eventually.”

Y/N nodded slowly, relieved that he wasn’t angry with her. There was still pain between them, but maybe this was how they moved forward. Not together like they used to be, but still a part of each other’s lives in a different way.

“I’ll always be your friend, JJ,” she said softly, squeezing his arm. “No matter what. That’s never going to change.”

He gave her a small, tired smile, but it was enough. “I know.”

They stood in comfortable silence for a moment, the air thick with the understanding between them. Y/N’s heart was lighter now, and she felt a sense of relief she hadn’t realized she needed.

“Hey,” JJ broke the silence again, his voice a little lighter, “You’re still my favorite pain in the ass, you know that?”

Y/N chuckled, the familiar warmth creeping back into her chest. "Right back at you, J."

JJ nudged her playfully, the first spark of mischief returning to his eyes. "So, if you’re dating Rafe, does that mean I get to punch him in the face next time he pisses me off?"

“You’re impossible,” Y/N said, rolling her eyes, but the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her.

JJ’s expression softened, and he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Look, if Rafe goes back to his old Kookish ways, you know where to find me, right?”

Y/N chuckled lightly, a mix of relief and affection in her gaze. “I’m not worried.”

“Good. But just in case,” JJ added with a wink, “I’ll be waiting.”

As they stood there, the waves crashing softly behind them, it was like a weight had been lifted—some unspoken tension between them had finally been laid to rest. They weren’t where they used to be, but maybe that wasn’t so bad after all.

—-

It had been a few months since that tense evening at the beach, and things had slowly started to shift. The Pogues and Kooks still didn’t exactly mingle like old friends, but the air between them wasn’t as heavy as it once was. The days of outright hostility were behind them—well, mostly. It was a work in progress, but progress had been made.

The group had gathered again at the Boneyard, and this time, things felt almost normal. The waves crashed lazily on the shore, and the sun dipped into a mellow orange hue, casting the evening in that perfect, golden light. Y/N sat on the hood of a car with Rafe next to her, his arm casually draped around her shoulders, while the others hung back a bit, trying to bridge the divide in their own ways.

Kie and Pope had softened considerably, their initial distrust of Rafe and Sarah finally easing. It wasn’t that they were best friends yet, but there was a mutual understanding. Kie, ever the realist, still threw the occasional side-eye toward Rafe, but it wasn’t venomous anymore. Pope had accepted the change in Rafe, or at least, he was trying to.

“You know, this is weird,” Kie said suddenly, breaking the silence. She was sitting beside Pope on a weathered old bench, eyeing Rafe and Y/N. “I can’t believe we’re all just hanging out like this.” Her voice was a mix of disbelief and something else—like she was letting herself believe this might actually work.

Pope, who had been quietly observing, nodded. “I get it. But... I think it’s okay. Rafe’s trying, and Sarah, too. They’re not exactly the Kooks we remember.”

“Yeah,” Kie said, shifting her weight on the bench. “They’re... trying.”

Rafe, who had been chatting quietly with Y/N, glanced over at the two of them. He smiled slightly and gave them a small wave, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. He didn’t expect them to be best buds, but there was something reassuring about not being treated like a villain at every turn.

Y/N caught his eye and smiled, her expression warm. She knew the weight of the situation, and though it hadn’t been an easy road, this felt like progress. Rafe had come a long way from the arrogant, entitled guy he used to be, and that was enough for her, for now.

The awkward tension in the air was still there, of course, but it wasn’t quite as suffocating. It was almost... manageable.

“Hey, anyone up for a game?” John B. called out, tossing a ball in the air. He was trying his best to lighten the mood, despite still avoiding eye contact with Rafe. There was a long-standing tension there, one that wasn’t easily erased. But John B. had accepted the reality of the situation. If Rafe was going to be in Y/N’s life, then he was going to have to get used to it.

A few people started moving toward the makeshift volleyball net that had been set up, and Sarah, noticing the change in the mood, made her way over to join them. She was surprisingly easygoing these days, something Y/N hadn’t expected but had grown to appreciate. It was clear that Sarah had softened, too—maybe because of her relationship with John B., maybe because she was finally trying to find a balance between her Kook world and the Pogues’ chaotic one.

As the group began to get settled into the game, Y/N and Rafe stayed back, watching. They had their own quiet moment—just the two of them, away from the noise. It wasn’t uncomfortable, nor was it tense—it was just... peaceful. The soft hum of the conversation from the others, the laughter echoing across the sand, the gentle rhythm of the waves—everything felt a little more settled than it had in the past.

“How long do you think this will last?” Rafe asked, his voice low as he looked over at the group.

Y/N didn’t immediately answer. Instead, she leaned back against the car, her gaze following the others as they huddled together, already bickering over who would serve first. It was the kind of bickering that felt like home. She was used to it—hell, she was part of it. But there was something about tonight, about how everyone was just... trying to make it work, that felt different.

“Longer than you think,” she replied after a beat, nudging him playfully. “You’re not as bad as they thought. Just give it time.”

Rafe looked over at her, his expression thoughtful. “You really think that?”

Y/N’s smile softened. “I know that,” she said, her tone confident. “Besides, I’m here, right?”

Rafe’s gaze lingered on her, a small, genuine grin forming at the corners of his lips. For a moment, he seemed to relax, as though her words were enough to settle something in him. It wasn’t about winning everyone over immediately—it was about doing the right thing and letting things happen in their own time.

“You’re right,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost to himself. “I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want to screw up... us.”

Y/N’s hand found his, her fingers lightly brushing against his. She squeezed it gently, reassuring him without words. The quiet moments between them had always been some of the best. She wasn’t in a rush to prove anything, and neither was he. They were building something slow and steady—something that would last.

“I know you won’t,” she said softly, her eyes meeting his. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. They’ll see the change eventually.”

Rafe nodded, taking in her words. “Yeah,” he said, his smile growing a little more. “I think they will.”

As the game kicked off with loud laughter and friendly arguments over the rules, Y/N and Rafe stayed in their little bubble, watching the others interact. The group wasn’t perfect, but they were getting there.

---

JJ stood for a long while, lingering by the edge of the Boneyard, his eyes fixed on the group. They were laughing, sharing stories, the sound of their voices blending with the rhythm of the waves, but he was still on the outside, watching quietly. The way Y/N’s smile brightened when Rafe said something to her. The way she leaned into him, her hand resting gently on his. There was a comfort there, an ease between them that made JJ feel like he was witnessing something both familiar and foreign at the same time.

He wasn’t jealous. At least, not in the way he used to be. It wasn’t the pang of unspoken longing anymore, the ache of what he thought could have been. No, this was different. This was the realization that Y/N had found something, someone, who made her light up in a way he hadn’t been able to.

JJ’s gaze flicked over to the rest of the group: Pope and Kie chatting with Sarah, the way they were making an effort now, and even Rafe, who—surprisingly—seemed to be fitting in, not as a villain but as someone who had done the work. He saw the way they had all softened over time, not just with each other, but with themselves.

And then there was John B., his best friend, his brother. The two of them, the ones who had always had each other’s backs, even when everything else seemed to be falling apart. John B. had grown up, too. He wasn’t the same reckless, carefree guy he used to be. He was still John B., but there was something different about him now, something grounded. And JJ could see it in his face—the way he was looking at the others, at Y/N and Rafe, without that old edge, without the tension that had always been there. It was like John B. had figured something out, too.

JJ’s eyes lingered on them, on the way the group was finally fitting together. There was a part of him that wondered if it would have been the same if he hadn’t stepped back, hadn’t realized that what he’d been holding onto wasn’t his to keep. But watching them now, laughing and comfortable in their own way, he knew that sometimes the hardest part was letting go. Letting go of expectations. Letting go of guilt. Letting go of a version of himself that didn’t fit anymore.

JJ realized, without fully understanding when or how it had happened, that things had shifted. Not just with Y/N and Rafe, not just with him, but with all of them. They were moving forward. They were different, but they were still together.

The breeze swept over him, cool against his skin, and for the first time in a while, he didn’t feel the weight of the past dragging him down. The guilt, the regrets, the missed chances—all of it felt distant, as if they were things he had outgrown. There was no need to keep carrying them, no need to keep pushing himself to be something he wasn’t. He could just be.

He stood there for a while longer, letting the quiet settle in, until his feet moved on their own, pulling him toward the firelight. He wasn’t sure what had changed exactly, but it was something big. Something important. Maybe it was the way he had let go of the things he couldn’t control. Maybe it was the way he had learned to accept that Y/N’s happiness wasn’t tied to him. But whatever it was, it felt like the first step toward something new.

When he finally rounded the corner and rejoined the group, Y/N’s gaze caught his. She didn’t say anything, just gave him that small, knowing smile—the kind she always had when things felt right, when everything clicked into place. It was a look that said, I see you, and for once, that was enough.

JJ didn’t need any fanfare. He didn’t need to make any grand gestures. He simply slid into his place in the circle, joining the easy rhythm of their laughter, the unspoken comfort of being together. There was no pressure, no need for explanations. The air felt lighter now, and everything, somehow, seemed to fit.

As he settled into the group, his heart wasn’t heavy anymore. There was peace in that, in knowing that he could just be himself, that he could let things be without needing to control them.

Things were changing. Slowly, but surely, the pieces were falling into place, and JJ felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

------

Taglist:

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diy-dynamite · 14 hours ago

Note

Can you write for mc for homocipher ? I know it's us ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ but make the reader and the mc a separate person

Omg. This is so amazing

Tysm for requesting this, I'm gonna go free reign with how I perceive our MC!!

YOU&ME

Adami x GN Reader

Contents: spoilers for Homicipher :3, canon typical violence, & this is based purely off my personal view of her!

******

YOU don't know how you got here. You don't even know where you are. Then suddenly, it hit you.

Not realisation.

A crowbar.

...

A deafening pain hit you upside the head. Your heartbeat throbbed at your skull. You clasped a hand over it, trying to cower from the harsh ringing. "Agh... what...?"

You glanced down—you were on a pale mattress. A hospital bed, perhaps, and a dirty one, at that.

"_ _. _ _ _?" (You awake. You're okay?)

You whipped your head around to see a silhouette of white and dark splatters—a person in a raincoat. At first glance, she looked human.

"_ _ _," she said again. (You are safe.)

The language she spoke didn't feel human. And now that you looked closer, you spotted the red rashes and dried blood on her arms and the splatters on her raincoat... was blood.

You flinched back when she tried to reach out to you, but the abrupt movement only did your headache worse. "Who are you?" You hissed, trying to get the necessary questions out of the way. "Why did you...?"

"_ _ _ _," another voice chirped. (They not understand language.)

That one scared you more. On all fours, hair covering his eyes, blood dripping where his eyes should be.... You nearly fainted if it weren't for the whiplash you experienced due to the one in the raincoat suddenly speaking in your language.

"Sorry," she said, dropping her crowbar, a loud and painstaking clang echoing throughout the room. "Can't... er," she huffed. "Can't remember how... speak. Your language."

You blinked. "Sorry?"

"Can't—!" she sighed. "Okay, okay. I teach... uh... our language." She gestured between herself and her crawling friend.

You were hesitant. She had a crowbar. He... was probably a human eater. She's probably a human eater, too!

You have to get away.

"I... I don't think you have to," you stammered, scooting further up on the bed.

She stepped closer, and you quickly got off the bed to the right, using the mattress as something to keep distance between you and the two horrors standing before you.

She stepped around the bed, blocking your path, and the one on the ground still stayed by the bed.

"We help," she said. You didn't believe a single word she said. "We help."

The raincoat girl reached out, and you couldn't stop your instincts from jumping over the bed and swinging the door open, running like death itself was in full chase for you.

The urge to look back was too strong, so you did—only briefly—and your heart dropped to see the girl in the raincoat running after you.

You cried out for them to stop, running even faster. As you drifted into a corner, you bumped into another, probably terrifying creature. You didn't stop to see. All you knew was he was tall and wore white, too, and was holding something orange with a tail.

He ended up nearly dropping the tailed orange thing, and you heard distant complaining in the same language the girl was speaking.

A hand yanked your collar back. You choked, a strained yelp skidding out of your throat. The panic only sunk further in your gut when you couldn't feel the ground at your feet anymore.

"Ghk—! Put me down! Help—!"

You were quickly silenced once you were face to face with a horrifying, red-eyed, and narrow-browed glare. "Shhhhhhhh."

If you could melt into whoever was manhandling you, you would. Wait.

Her hands were at her sides.

Only now did you fully realise that someone else was holding you up.

You tested your luck and peeked behind you, and it was the silver silhouette, but up close. His eyes were wrapped with a blood-stained bandage. He smiled, muttering something, but you quickly tried to squiggle out of his hand.

"Stop," the girl sighed. So you did.

She put her hand on her hip and gave you a look. "We friendly. Stop."

"You don't look like it!"

"Then I prove it!" she cried, clearly frustrated. You chose to hold your tongue, not wanting to push her buttons further upon seeing her grip tighten on her crowbar.

Nodding, you mimed, zipping your mouth shut and locking it.

The girl nodded in return. "Good. Now come." Her fingers curled under your shirt's neckline, and she pulled—you had no choice but to follow.

...

So... they are friendly.

You sat on your bed on the far back, listening to the raincoat girl talk.

You'd asked her name before, but she claimed not to remember. That's fine—you didn't seem to remember yours, either.

It's almost sad. Almost. Because you lost yourself. So did she. So did the others, if you assumed correctly. You still had a couple of cups of humanity in you, but she? She had less.

If you had a cup, she had a drop, and it was drying out too fast.

They're their own creatures. They're not human, but they're not completely lost—they have an ounce of what feels like human nature. You're all lost. Not just you, not just her, but everyone else, too. At least, you think so. Everyone here felt human before. You don't know for sure, though, your ability to think is losing its complexity.

You figured out four things during your stay (which you also don't remember; it feels like you've always been here):

The only thing on your minds' are to survive. Some have additional things, like having fun or learning, but for you and the raincoat girl, and the crawling one, too, all you want is to get through the next few hours.

You don't know when a day starts or ends, either, so you've got only your hunger to tell you whether a day has passed. Even then, your hunger spikes only grow more often than not.

Still, you smiled.

At least here, you're home.

That's what the raincoat girl tells you.

"You home," she whispered in your ear as you laid down to rest, curling up next to you with gentle hands playing with the loose strings of your shirt's neckline, her head closer to your chest, as if she was relishing in hearing the last breaths of your life drum on your ribcage.

"You and I," she said. "Home."

Her red eyes flickered to you, urging you to reply.

You nodded.

"Home."

She's all everybody needs.

She's all you need.

And that's okay.

********

I have no idea where I was going with this LMAO UH

Anyway! I'm so sorry for taking so long on this, I got stressed over my SATs test in a few weeks, erm. If I don't update anymore then yk what happened to me (I failed)

ANYWAY!! I hope you liked this one </3 requests still open, just slow updates :3

#♡ azalea ♡#homicipher #homicipher x reader #mr crawling #mr silvair #mr chopped head #mr chopped #adami x reader #homicipher x you #homicipher mc x you #homicipher mc #adami

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caughtthedarkness93 · 2 days ago

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Ok, I guess I gotta talk about that one scene in Dragon Age: The Veilguard eventually because I've heard about discourse regarding it and it's driving me up a wall with how some of the criticism ignores key context from the rest of the story that informs how it's written. Spoilers for Taash's storyline follow below the cut.

So I mainly have seen this referenced on TV Tropes because I am not on the hellscape that is Twitter, but people, it seems, have been criticizing the scene where Taash comes out as nonbinary to their mom for how they get pissed at how their mom takes it. Often this is used to frame Taash as being unreasonable as their mom is struggling to understand what that means.

And I feel like that criticism kind of misses a big part of what that scene is actually about. Because Taash's relationship with their mom is complicated. This is something that their storyline stresses repeatedly. Taash has fond memories of growing up with their mom and knows that she basically gave up her whole culture to ensure that Taash wouldn't be forced into a soldier's life. It's clear that their mom is still very attached to Qunari culture and she outright expresses a couple times that she feels like being a Qunari scholar equipped her extremely poorly to actually raise a child. That checks out - under the Qun, that would be someone else's job entirely.

So this informs a lot of Taash's relationship with her - Taash recognizes that she gave up a very privileged position with the Qunari for their sake. Because she wanted a better life for them than what they'd get there. That's a huge sacrifice.

However, you watch how they interact, you can see that Taash's mom is also very critical of them and very controlling. She doesn't care much for Taash's privacy, tries to make a lot of their decisions for them without putting a lot of thought into what they actually want, and she is extremely critical of them sometimes about things that don't really matter.

So we get to that scene late in their storyline - the Lighthouse dinner. I think the critical mistake a lot of people make when looking at this scene is thinking that it's about how she reacts to Taash's gender identity.

Which that informs it, sure, but there's more to it. When Taash yells that nothing they do is good enough for their mom, it's not a reaction to how she responds to their identity, it's a reaction to the way their whole relationship has been built up throughout the game. It's the straw that broke the camel's back. And it's true to Taash's character.

One of the things that I like about Taash is that they're someone who likes a straightforward, direct solution to most problems. Thing in your way? Break it. Big scary monster? Kill it. They like to be able to take the most simple, direct path through a problem, preferably one that involves slaying a big monster, and Veilguard constantly puts them in situations where that isn't an option. And in those situations, they struggle a lot. Taash struggles to get along with Emmerich because that involves overcoming internalized prejudices (and understandable ones too - necromancy is something that would probably make a lot of people uncomfortable irl and for a culture where cremation is the norm and undead can be a legit issue, that would go, like, quadruple - of course they're uncomfortable with Emmerich). That's not an easy thing to do because it involves a lot of introspection and interrupting thoughts that you've been trained to think. Taash questions their gender identity. Definitely no easy, straightforward way to solve that. They angst a lot over being afraid they're broken somehow for feeling these things. A fraught, complicated relationship with a parent who sacrificed everything so that you would have a better life, but can't seem to bring herself to let you actually live it the way you want? Can't hit that with an axe.

And ultimately, that's what's happening in this scene - the whole game, we've seen Taash struggle with this really complex, nuanced relationship, this mother who clearly loves them and wants the best life possible for them, but struggles to understand what their child really needs and often says or does things that are hurtful. In this scene, this bubbling, brewing resentment, definitely exacerbated by Taash being outside their mom's orbit and with a team that has more faith in their skills and abilities, finally comes to a head.

The scene is only about Taash's identity on the most surface of levels. Yeah, that's what sparks the argument, but it's not what the argument is about.

#Dragon Age #The Veilguard #dragon age: the veilguard #Dragon Age The Veilguard #dragon age taash #taash #da veilguard #da spoilers #da taash #veilguard spoilers #da:tv #da:tv spoilers #da: the veilguard #Veilguard spoilers #dragon age spoilers

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mind-intheclouds342 · 2 days ago

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A new ladder - Reader x Curly

Previous - Part 5 - Next

"This looks like a funeral home!"

You said, clapping, alarming Curly who had barely woken up about ten minutes ago.

You started to open the curtains to let some light in and turned on the television, looking for a channel that plays music instead of news.

You smiled when you found one with music you like and were ready to go prepare breakfast, but you almost fell from the shock when you saw Curly.

"Hey-!... You got up on your own..." you mentioned, holding your chest.

Curly: "Ah... Yes, I made coffee but... I couldn't serve it, it's still in the coffee maker... Do you do that every day?"

"...You have a very, very deep sleep, in case you didn't know..."

You kept staring at him, not taking your eyes off him as you slowly walked to grab the coffee pot to pour the coffee into two cups.

Curly: "What do you want to do today?"

You raised an eyebrow as you thought of a response.

"There's an amusement park in the city, how does that sound?"

Curly: "Sounds good" he nodded.

You gave him a smile and pushed him a little, making him lose his balance and have to hold onto the table to avoid falling.

"Impossible, you're going to fall apart if we go there. We need to practice your walking and how to use your new limbs."

Curly: "What do you recommend then?" he asked, finally standing up with some difficulty.

"Let's go for a jog!" She patted his back, ready to prepare something to add to breakfast.

After eating, they both changed into clothes, some for training.

Curly noticed how loose his clothes had become due to the loss of muscle.

"Later I can adjust it if you like, is it very uncomfortable for you?"

You approached him to check it.

Curly: "I'm worried that my pants will fall down."

"Look how easy that is to fix"

You went to get thread and a needle to make a hem on the waistband of the pants and you put a few stitches in the hem to make it snug.

"Done, I'll adjust it properly another day, now let's go, let's go"

First, you took a drive to a less busy area; you didn't want him to feel uncomfortable with the attention of people passing by on the road.

"It's great that you can stand up and walk, do you think it's okay to try climbing up to that sign?"

Curly: "Or course. I can do it"

"Oh, someone is enthusiastic?"

You laughed and got ready next to him to start jogging, he lagged behind for a few seconds but then took a few steps.

You quickly returned when you heard he had fallen to help him get back on his feet.

You repeated that action several times, but you got worried when he fell and his face hit the ground directly.

"Hey, maybe jogging was too ambitious, we can walk through the forest here."

He stood up with your help, head down, annoyed for not being able to do something he used to do every day a while ago.

"You didn't hurt yourself, did you? "Let me see"

You slowly removed the mask he was wearing to check it, and they were startled by the scream of a child, just as a mother with her child was passing by.

Curly immediately turned to the other side so the child wouldn't have to see it while the woman gestured apologetically, carrying her son and quickly leaving the place.

"They're gone now" you said, patting his shoulder.

Curly: "I know... That i must look really bad... "

"Hey, don't think too much about it, come on, let's take a walk to clear your mind, okay?"

You took the sleeve of his jacket to pull him with you, delving into the forest and walking along the already marked path.

He stood there watching as you held onto his clothes, and saw the prosthesis, how crude it was in shape, being made only to be functional and not aesthetic.

I would like to hold her hand...

He thought while still focused on your hand, and you turned to look at him when his prosthetic touched your forearm, strangely it felt like a caress.

When he realized what he had done, he got nervous.

Curly: "I'm sorry—I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, no, no problem, I should have let you go. You must have felt really bad being pulled."

You said, smiling as you let go of his clothes, but that made him even more depressed.

You continued walking until you felt a tug on your jacket, looking at the man in confusion.

Curly: "...I have better balance if I hold onto you"

"Mm? Do you think you can keep up with me?"

You smiled with a hint of mischief as you walked slowly at first, and with each step, you increased your speed, making Curly follow you at the same pace, without letting go of your jacket.

And within a few minutes, both were jogging in sync, your legs even moving in perfect harmony.

You ran the entire forest trail until you returned to the starting point, both laughing, very excited about Curly's rapid progress.

They took a break to drink some water and rest a bit, sitting on the hood of the car.

Curly: "I missed this..."

"Did you use to exercise a lot?"

Curly: "Yes, it was one of my hobbies, exercising, lifting weights, jogging, I had my own routine, it was nice."

"You were athletic too, mm, you sounded like the perfect man," you stretched before getting up.

He remained thinking about your words, sighing as he remembered that he would never be that man again.

Curly: "Yeah... someone cool, right?"

"Not for me. Routines aren't bad, but ugh they make me sick, perfect people, they seem like robots programmed to do the same thing until they die. Everything they do seems so good, they eat healthy, exercise, work, study, but it just ends up being a cycle because... they don't aspire to anything else, you know?"

You shrugged as you opened the door of your car.

"Because... what's the point of reaching the top if you're not going to keep climbing something higher?"

He felt that for a moment, his entire world had stopped; he could only hear the beating of his heart, and everything else was just silence.

He opened his mouth to say something, but only a sigh escaped, lost in your silhouette before him, who only hoped you would get in the car so you could go home together.

When you honked the horn, you brought him out of his trance.

"Are you going to get in or are you going to run to home?" you asked, smiling.

I knew well that you were capable of leaving it there, so he quickly climbed up next to your seat.

#mouthwash #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #mouthwashing x reader #curly mouthwashing #captain curly #captain curly x reader #mouthwashing curly #curly x reader

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butchvamp · 3 days ago

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i finished Davrin's quest last before going into the endgame and i have a lot of mixed feelings about it. i know a lot of people were really upset with what they did to Isseya (i don't know anything about the Last Flight so i can't speak on that) but i think it was interesting what they tried to do-- the Grey Wardens have always asked "do the ends justify the means" and i think his quest has potential to tie up nicely with the overall theme of choice and regret-- Davrin choosing the Wardens, choosing that sacrifice versus Isseya, who was forced to follow orders and ultimately regrets her choice.

but Davrin's quest, like the majority of companion quests, is hindered by racism (thinly veiled anti-indigenous racism filtered through the elves as well as anti-black racism). we had a chance to explore real reasons why he felt compelled to leave his clan and join the Grey Wardens-- he's a monster hunter, sure, but he is also a protector. maybe he felt he could better protect them in this role? but Dragon Age loves their "the Dalish are boring and too stuck in the past and tradition, so i left to find something better" shtick, and they are clearly caught up in dichotomies in this game which we also see with Taash (and the rest of this quest, too). Davrin cant be Dalish and a Grey Warden and proud of both-- only one. but this doesn't even really align with Davrin's attitude that we see later.

i mean he named his griffon Assan, he clearly does hold the Dalish close, and we get to learn about how he used to tend the halla with Eldrin-- he comes back to this after surviving Weisshaupt, something he probably never imagined he'd be able to do, and i wish the game had dug into his feelings more rather than shifting immediately to focus on Assan.

Davrin survives Weisshaupt, he survives killing an archdemon, and he clearly has a lot of guilt about it-- Rook can tell them that he did the Wardens proud, but he retorts, "Did I? Because I'm still here and they're not." he made his choice, was prepared to make the sacrifice, and it was taken from him, and he survived when so many others died. "I feel like a blade sharpened all these years to confront the worst darkness in the world. And my blade struck true at Weisshaupt. What now?"

so now he has a new choice, one that he doesn't feel he's earned. and they try to convey this through the griffons, trained by the Grey Wardens for one singular task until it ultimately killed them... but now reborn, Rook and Davrin are given the chance to release them from their service to the Wardens and potentially find a new path. like Davrin, they weren't supposed to survive, either, and only did because of Isseya. throughout the quest we can see Davrin shift his opinion of the Gloom Howler, insisting on calling her Isseya, giving her back her name in the end to stop her. we see other wardens who have lived past their calling, past their "purpose," and how twisted they have become-- Davrin clearly sees some part of himself reflected in Isseya because of this, on top of being both a Grey Warden and an elf, too. unlike Isseya, though, Davrin has pushed through his guilt and regret and found new purpose with the griffons.

i think this is a good set-up. but in my opinion the execution is weak because after a certain point the story just starts to ignore Davrin in favor of the griffons. Davrin is the one that is both the monster hunter and the shepherd, but we only focus on Assan, and the ultimate choice is about the griffons, not Davrin himself. with the blight ending, why didn't we get to discuss what it is Davrin wants to do once everything is over? does he want to return to the Grey Wardens? he fulfilled his purpose, he killed an archdemon. does he want to become the griffons' shepherd now instead? there is no option, the griffons (besides Assan) are just handed over to someone else in the end. does Davrin join them after the final battle? does he help train them with Evka and Antoine? or does he leave the wardens and join Eldrin in Arlathan? the fake-out goodbye with Assan makes it seem like he doesn't do either, but we really don't know, since his end slide in the credits is just about the fucking griffons! it's so frustrating.

i also think him being the possible sacrifice at the end is a poor choice. the point of Davrin's story is that he survives. he survives! he has to live with it and accept it and find a way to move forward, reconnecting-- through raising Assan-- with a life he had previously sworn off. all of that development only for the game to potentially just kill him anyways.

Davrin has some of the best banter and relationships in the game, he deserved better, i really wish we got to explore his character more beyond using him as a stepping stone to reestablish griffons in Thedas.

#ok sorry i thought i was done but im not #datv spoilers #datv critical #da posting

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fairyminnie444 · 8 hours ago

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when i persist i always get thoughts like "what if my desires stay in imagination ans never externalize?", "if i do this in a certain way then i won't get my desire", etc, thoughts like those and they always seem so important and like if i don't give it real thought then my desires won't manifest. and there's always more thoughts like those that come to mind. any advice?

I have the same thoughts, sometimes even more, like "I need to do something to manifest and I can't stay still because if I don't I won't receive it or I don't deserve it”

This is the logical part of the brain wanting to shape us, so first we remember it’s normal, its part of process so we shift focus to what we already know and what is actually true. How?

1.Understand the Nature of These Thoughts

• These doubts are not the truth—they’re simply old mental patterns trying to protect you from disappointment.

• They’re a sign that your subconscious is working through resistance. This is a good thing because it means you’re challenging limiting beliefs.

2. Don’t Fight the Thoughts

• When you resist or argue with these thoughts, you give them more energy.

• Instead, acknowledge them and let them pass. For example, say to yourself:

• “This is just a thought. It has no power unless I give it power.”

• “I see you, but I choose to focus on what I want.”

imagine the sky and these thoughts are like clouds passing by, they don’t mean nothing cause u don’t agree with that and u don’t believe in that.

3. Redirect Your Focus

• When a doubtful thought arises, gently shift your focus back to your desired state:

• “Even if this thought exists, I know my desire is already mine.”

• “I trust the process, regardless of what my mind tries to tell me.”

4. Reframe the Fears

Let’s address the specific fears you mentioned:

• “What if my desires stay in imagination and never externalize?”

• Reframe: “Imagination is the foundation of reality. If I can imagine it, it’s already on its way to me.”

• Neville Goddard teaches that imagination creates reality—the 3D always catches up to your inner state.

• “If I do this in a certain way, I won’t get my desire.”

• Reframe: “There’s no wrong way to align with my desire. My persistence guarantees my success.”

• Remember: it’s not about perfection; it’s about your dominant state of being.

5. Use Affirmations to Neutralize Doubts

Affirmations help override negative patterns. Use ones like:

• “Doubt is powerless; my imagination is the true reality.”

• “My desires are inevitable, no matter what my thoughts say.”

• “I trust the process of creation completely.”

6. Practice SATS or Relaxation Techniques

When doubts feel overwhelming, use Neville’s State Akin to Sleep (SATS) or relaxation to anchor yourself in your desired state:

1. Lie down in a relaxed state, close your eyes, and visualize your desire as if it’s already done.

2. Feel the emotions of already having it.

3. Let this state soothe any doubts.

The more you practice SATS or similar techniques, the less attention your mind will give to intrusive thoughts. It's a process and the more you do it and the more natural it is for you, the less you will have these thoughts.

7. Remind Yourself of This Truth

Your dominant feeling and belief determine your manifestation—not every passing thought. Intrusive doubts don’t have the power to stop your desire unless you dwell on them and make them dominant.

Summary:

• Acknowledge the doubtful thoughts without fighting them.

• Redirect your focus to your desired state.

• Reframe fears into empowering truths.

• Use affirmations and SATS to anchor your belief.

You don’t need to figure everything out or get it perfect. As long as you persist in the feeling of your wish fulfilled, the 3D will catch up. Trust yourself—you’re on the right path.

Ps *mostly important*: Don't overwhelm yourself, don't do anything that seems forced or false, if it's a moment of very intrusive thinking remember: NEUTRAL STATE before affirming. Take your time, there’s no rush it will come for you.

There is nothing that can stop you from receiving what you want if you believe you already have it.

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wolftarotcrafts · 22 hours ago

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I hope something resonates with you and you can find this helpful. ❤️

Pile One

Hey pile one already off the bat, I am getting love. If you have been single for a while, I definitely see you coming into union with someone. For some of you, this person is from your past, like a friend or an ex. If it is someone from the past, there is no bad blood, there is no toxic energy. For people who have been single for a while or for those of you who have never been in a relationship, I think you need to go back out there or finally go out there and meet new people. For whatever situation you are in, the advice is to be adventurous and embrace love. I am getting a romantic type of love, but for those that don't want that or aren't searching for that right now, the advice still stands by spending time with people that make you happy and loved, like friends and family. For others of you, the advice is to give that person a call or text, make a dating profile, take a class, you might even unexpected someone unexpectedly. Be adventurous and step out of your comfort zone and spread love every step of the way. I see many of you reconnecting or meeting someone special. Take the leap.

Extra : 4, 6, 8, 28, 35, music, songs, friend, dating, union, soulmate, proposal, eyes, younger, déjà vu, divine masculine, single, Aquarius, Scorpio Back to you by Louis Tomlinson ft Bebe Rexha.

Pile Two

Hi pile two. I see many of you are struggling emotionally and mentally. Many of you are under stress and have anxiety about something. I see for some of you this has to do with work or school. You feel overwhelmed by something, possibly a promotion, financial issues like debt, or finals. I feel for some of you there is a decision that needs to be made, but you feel at a crossroads and may be asking for signs. You don't know what direction you want to go in. I can see some of you just prolonging your hurt by keeping yourself trapped. Change will always find you, no matter how much you run. It will eventually catch up. Don't stress about things that you can't change or fix, because you will only be wasting your time. I do see many of you pulling yourselves up from the hole that you are in. Success is in reach. It's up to you to not give up and keep working towards your goals. And for some of you, you may find that you want to do a different career, and only you know what's best for you. Don't listen to what others want because it's your life, so live it. I want you to take three deep breaths and take out a journal about what you are feeling. Whatever thought you are having, whatever may weigh on your heart and mind. It's all up to you.

Extra: 3, 6, 31, signs, toxic tendencies, sad, moving, decision, North America, Europe, A, Sagittarius, Aries, Scorpio, Aquarius, Leo, June, hardworking, journal, Sing the movie, "You know the good thing about hitting rock bottom; there's only one way left to go, and that's up."

Pile Three

Hello pile three, I see many of you. You need a push. There is something that you want to do, like start a business, start a new job, change career paths, go to school, start a new art project, write songs, or start a project. You are feeling inspired and energized, and you need to grab that feeling and nurture it. Feel the inspiration and use it. Go for whatever you want, and don't let it pass you by. If you want something in life, then go get it. If you fail or there are setbacks, you have to be brave enough to laugh at yourself and get back up. You are always going to stumble because, guess what? You are human, and as humans, we are always going to have things go wrong. You are the captain of your own ship, and every day is not going to be smooth sailing. Confidence is going to be your best friend, and I want you to always remember that you are good enough, no matter who tells you otherwise, because there will always be people who want to blow out your lights, but you will just have to show them and shine brighter. Now get up and go after what you want.

Signs: Remember This NF, "You want something in life, then why don't you go and get it?" leadership, balance, meditation, and strength.

#pick a pile #tarot reading #pick a card #tarot pick a card #pick a picture #tarot pac #free tarot #daily tarot #tarot #tarotcommunity #tarot advice

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hearted-anon · 2 days ago

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Christmas love

Words: 1, 068 Note: they make me explode Requested by: @itzsana-kiddingmenow T/w: none, fluffy Taglist: @reginald-stay09 @itzsana-kiddingmenow @hetashi-takashimaya @soap143 @jungwon-is-the-one @minnielvrr Lee: Channie Ler: Minho

"Ah, the snow falls so fast, doesn't it?" Chan sighs dreamily, reaching his hand out to catch one of the snowflakes that dropped in front of the setting sun. Minho nodded slowly in agreement, laying his head on Changbin's thigh while his hands drew tiny hearts into the thin layer of snow that was beginning to pile up. Their phones laid turned off on the nearby picnic blanket, needing to rid themselves of any distractions that could potentially interrupt the sweet moment between the trio. They sat atop a small hill, fairy lights illuminating their path while the sun's setting glow bathed them in the warm light.

They had organised a small outing for the three of them behind the member's back, desperate for a break just for the Hyung line to be one, their hearts molding with their eyes glued onto each snowflake that fell onto the blades of grass. It had been long since they got a break from their respective young ins, taking in shallow breaths that created tiny puffs of hair in the warm air. Guess they had been out for a little longer than expected. But what could they say, rays of orange captivating their gaze, and in the blink of an eye, an afternoon meant for catching up turned into stargazing into the night.

As clouds began to settle as a comfortable blanket around the moon, its spotlight shining down on them and illustrating a Cosmo of stars for their eyes to feast on, Chan crawled down onto the grass as well, his thick hoodie that seemed to be made of the woolly materials ever shielding him from the wetness of the snow. His arm lazily curled around Minho's and Changbin's shoulder, tugging them impossibly closer. They laid in silence snuggly for what felt like hours, fingers gently pointing and tracing out the stars that guided them near home, weak smiles plastered on their faces after letting the day's exhaustion seep into their bones.

"I'll get that, I think Hyunjin's concerned that I haven't said anything the entire day," Changbin mumbles, hearing his phone vibrate against the plastic of the picnic blanket, shuffling himself out of the sandwich that he was the filling of. With lots of struggles, giggles and pleading to be let go, Chan and Minho let him go reluctantly with pouts on their faces, though the dancer's was less obvious, delivering a loud smack to the rapper's behind which he shrieked and glared daggers into the bunny's soul for doing so. Wincing at the sound of Hyunjin's whiny voice over the speaker demanding Changbin be home right this instant for sneaking out, Chan slowly shifted himself closer to Lee Know, who pulled him closer instantly despite the scowl on his face.

"I don't think he'll ever hear the end of Hyunjin, ever since they started living together all I hear is poor Binnie being nagged at or begging us to let him in after Jinnie tried to snuggle him to death…" Chan said fondly, seeing how the younger struggled to come up with an explanation to his disappearance, only able to reassure the ferret that he was safe with his Hyungs.

"Hmm, I think it explains why, Hyunjin's always been the type to switch up real fast, seeing how they act on camera," Minho replied without thought, the Aussie assuming they were none behind his blank eyes anyway, only following the contours of the stars. Suddenly, the fingers that laid still against the elder's waist began to spider up and down gently, pulling a surprised squeal.

"Ehehe! Wahahait!" Chan babbled on, trying to keep himself quiet knowing that Changbin was right next to them, and on a call too! Although Minho too knew this, he kept silent, the corners of his lips tugging ever so slightly in a knowing smirk, continuing his ministrations almost nonchalantly.

"Aren't you just the cutest? Keep yourself quiet now, don't want Jinnie to hear you right~?" Lee Know whispered tauntingly into the leader's ear, earning a flustered squeak. The reaction was instant, the elder burying his head into the dancer's chest, shaking his head desperately with the sweetest melody of giggles stringing his heart along to continue. They just had to put the most smiley and adorable members in the same dorm, Minho thought, which wasn't at all obvious favoritism to his favourite Hyung and the maknae; he wouldn't ever do such a thing!

"Minhoho! H-Hahahave some mehehercy!" Chan pleaded uselessly, thrashing around on the snow, creating ghostly snow angels against the white powdery surface, the cat following along smoothly. His fingers wouldn't let up no matter where the leader went, fingers scribbling lazily over his stomach now, drawing hiccups and kicks of his legs. His warm breath ghosted the elder's cold ears, turning red from the freezing temperatures and from embarrassment. It felt like snowflakes were prickling against his skin, his gloves feeling useless against the cat's bare fingers, knowing that he was used to these environments from lone camping.

"Aha- Plehehehease! Ehehe!" Lee Know's heart melted away when he heard the weak giggles emitting from below him. Despite the snow that was threatening to turn all the ground around them into rainy puddles, his insides felt completely warmed up, not even noticing he was shivering. He was completely hypnotised by the leader's giggles, reminding him of a certain fox back home. As if on cue, his eyes glimmered at the red and green lights that began to flicker along the streets, slowing down his fingers on the Aussie to just soft pokes, still relishing in the flinches and squeaks he got.

"C'mon guys, the members are beginning to become worried," Changbin meekly admitted, finally having ended the call. He looked awkward, shuffling his feet in place as if he knew he had interrupted something. Tutting in sync, the duo rushed up to their favourable Hyung line maknae, cooing at him all the way through for being babied by Hyunjin, giggling together when they managed to see the rapper's ears turn a cherry red, hiding his face in his jacket sleeves like it'll rid their voices if he couldn't see them. Dropping Lee Know off at his dorm's front door, he gave a teasing wink to Changbin, leaning up to Chan one last time before letting him go.

"Merry 'early' Christmas Hyung, I better get lots of laughter from everyone on Christmas Day~"

#..?#kpop tickle #stray kids tickle #skz tickle #lee channie #lee chan #lee bangchan #ler minho #ler know #ler lee know #minchan #ughughguhg #mentioned:#hyunibini

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lunarflux · 12 hours ago

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x: Thomas Shelby found his match in an information bookie who has eluded the grasp of the Peaky Blinders long enough to crumble their power over Birmingham. But at last, he found you. The ghost he'd been chasing was finally in front of him, but you were trickier than he expected. Dangerous, cunning - and a bit too much like himself. To buy your loyalty, he would have to sell his in equal measure. Loyalty for loyalty - blood for blood - how much were either of you willing to spill before the game changed entirely?

a/n: the slow burn is slow burning

part 10: the inevitable crash

word count: 3,048

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The street was quieter than usual, the night cold and empty except for the occasional passerby. You made your way down the alley toward the Garrison, a slow, deliberate pace, your thoughts more on the events of the past days than the path ahead. The weight of the decision you made—though correct in your mind—Tommy’s amusement at your actions, the tension in the air between the two of you. It was a lot to carry, but it wasn't the first time you’ve found yourself with something weighing you down.

Just as you reached the corner, you heard footsteps behind you, quick, deliberate, the sound of boots on cobblestones. You instinctively reached for your knife—the concept that it could be Arthur or John trying to scare you crossed your mind. But when you turned, the figure that stepped out of the shadows was one you knew all too well.

Bingham.

The one who used to buy information from you. A man who’d never been above using others for his own gain, his reputation dark enough to send a ripple of unease through anyone who dealt with him. He leaned against the wall, arms crossed, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. The familiar scar across his cheek caught the moonlight.

“You’re walking alone at this hour, sweetheart,” he said, his voice low and smooth. “Not a smart move, considering who’s still looking for your services.”

You stood firm, swallowing the minute flinch on your brow. “I’m not in that business anymore, Bingham.”

He stepped forward, eyes gleaming with a knowing, calculated glint. “You think I don’t know that?” He laughed softly, but there was something dangerous in it, something that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m not asking for your services, darling. I’m offering you a way back in. You’ve got a talent for finding things out. I remember what you're worth. I doubt the great Thomas Shelby and the Peaky Blinders really know.”

You met his gaze without hesitation. “I've kept my connections, Alfred. I've extended my kindness to the Blinders for a modest fee. I don't think anything else will be necessary.”

Bingham tilted his head, stepping closer. His voice quieted, but the threat was all too real, seeping through each word. “Don’t make me remind you what happened the last time you tried to play both sides, sweetheart. You’re a smart woman. Don’t let the Peaky Blinders loyalty cloud your judgment. It’s only a matter of time before they stop keeping you safe and start seeing you as a liability.”

Before you can respond, a sudden, sharp voice erupted from behind you.

“Come now, y/n. I started drinking without you.”

Tommy placed his hand on the back of your neck, his silhouette cutting through the dim light, standing with a calm, controlled presence that you knew so well. His eyes flickered down to you, then back to Bingham. There was no hesitation in his movement, no uncertainty. He was here, and his presence kept the unwelcome guest from getting any closer.

Bingham didn’t flinch, though the subtle tension in his jaw betrayed his irritation. “The Thomas Shelby,” he sneered. “Of all the people to come out and... Save the day. Surprised you didn't send one of your errand boys to fetch her. Didn't think she was worth a rope from the big man.”

Tommy stepped forward, guiding you with him, not bothering with any pretense of diplomacy. He looked down at the ground. His voice was cold, clipped. “You're standing on Blinders property.” He motioned with his hand. "All of this, those buildings. This pub. The rubble beneath your feet. And this woman—" His grip on your neck tightened. "—she's Blinders property as well."

Bingham’s eyes scanned Tommy's face, but he found no trace of humor. There was no doubt in his mind about the power Tommy wielded, especially with the way he stood tall, unwavering. There was a threat in Tommy’s voice that left no room for negotiation, and he knew it.

“I suppose this is where I bid you farewell, y/n,” Bingham muttered, though his bravado was quickly fading. “In time, we will see each other again. I'll make sure of it.”

Tommy didn’t react to the veiled threat. He just raised an eyebrow, his gaze unwavering. “Come around here without an invitation again, and your body will be beneath this rubble. And then you'll be my property, too.”

Bingham chuckled at Tommy's threat, but, with a final glance at you, he stepped back into the shadows, disappearing as quickly as he appeared. The tension lingered in the air long after he was gone.

Tommy stood there for a moment, his eyes still locked on the spot where Bingham vanished, his jaw tense. He took a slow breath, finally turning to face you.

“Are you alright?” he asked, the concern in his voice softer than usual, though his gaze remains sharp. His hand remained on your neck though his grip eased until it was a gentle hold.

You nodded. “You shouldn't have gotten involved.”

Tommy’s eyes narrowed briefly, a hint of something unreadable in them. “I don't know what that fucking was, but I meant what I said.” He paused, looking at you with a touch of seriousness in his eyes. “The Blinders don't take kindly to strangers on our property. Touching our things. And that includes you.”

You placed your hand on his wrist and eased it down. "I'm not your fucking property, Tommy. Don't think I didn't catch that."

"You're a Blinder now, are you not?"

You could tell there was more he wanted to say, but he didn’t. Instead, he gave you a quick, assessing glance before heading for the door of the Garrison.

“Let’s get inside,” he said. “It’s too cold out here for games. Even yours.”

You followed him, the weight of Bingham's warning still hanging in the air, but now you were sure of one thing: Tommy Shelby wouldn’t let anyone take what’s his. Not without a fight. And part of knowing that meant accepting that—even though you would fight to the death to deny it—he believed you were his, too.

Tommy pulled a chair for you and set up behind the bar. He didn't speak. You watched quietly as he popped open a fresh bottle of whiskey. He pulled two glasses, but as he was about to pour yours, you held up your hand.

"Gin tonight."

The confusion quickly washed over his face. He pulled a bottle of gin from below the counter and filled your cup with a couple of inches. He placed the bottle down with a thud and toasted to the air. An odd silence that you'd never experienced with him before drifted over the bar.

He'd look at you occasionally as you sipped your drink, and you returned the glance. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but you knew something was brewing in his mind. Whatever he was thinking about, it was heavy. And though you didn't know the depth of it, you could tell he was carrying it alone.

"So, are you thinking about your big white wedding?" you asked quietly in an attempt to steer the conversation away from Bingham, letting the gin roll over your tongue. "A man who drinks in silence in a woman's company always has something like that on his mind."

Tommy didn't often look shocked, but when he did, it brought a smile to your face, knowing that you read him properly. This time, it wasn't the case.

"No," he whispered. "No white wedding. She wore purple."

For once, you hated that you were right. Though he said so little, the sadness beneath seeped into your skin. The news about his wife's death came to you via a drunk Blinder who sat beside you in a pub. Though, the information alone did not carry the weight of Tommy's loss, his melancholy tone said everything you needed to know. The aftermath of your business never returned the following day.

The gin rested against your lip long enough for the burn to turn into nothing. You couldn't leave the conversation this way, but you didn't know how far to push before he'd back down.

"What was her name?" you asked.

Tommy's eyes connected with yours. It was the only proper way to say her name, the only proper way to tell this story. And though the depth of this story had seemingly died with time, it never got any easier.

"Grace. Grace Shelby."

You lowered your gaze, the name of Tommy's ghost imprinting itself deep into your memory. "Do I need to ask if you loved her?"

"No, perhaps not."

You looked around the Garrison, motioning to the air with your glass. "And what did she think about all this? About you."

Tommy tilted his whiskey all the way back then swiftly poured himself another. "She loved me."

"That wasn't my question." You sat up straight and tapped the counter. "I asked what she thought about you."

Tommy stared at you as he processed what you were asking him. It wasn't a kind question. Or maybe, it was. You were being gentle with him, and that wasn't something he was used to. And if someone had tried, he probably didn't notice.

Grace had, until the end, hoped—expected—things would go right. And so he tried if only for her and her memory. He mourned. He wept—in private, but he still did nevertheless.

And now, here you were. Asking if he really knew what Grace wanted. He should have been insulted except your question didn't imply he was wrong. He knew what Grace thought about all of this. And damn if he didn't try.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"I don't think my permission would stop you regardless," he sighed.

"The way you were before her," you started, your voice low and soft, "are you that man again?"

Tommy's jaw tightened. Now, your questions were teetering on things he didn't know how to answer. He eyed you with caution as you raised your hand and rested it on the top button of his shirt.

"When a woman falls in love with a broken man—" You twisted your fingers, and the button came undone. "She finds you with your shirt open. Cold. Exposed. But you don't know any different because that's how it's always been. And then it happens—" Quietly, you refastened it. "—and suddenly you're warm and safe. She buttons you up and reminds you to take care of yourself."

You smiled softly, a kind contrast to his cold stare.

"And when that story comes to a close—" You tugged on his collar with a brief but strong pull, and the button came clean off. It clattered to the bar. You picked it up and held it in between your eyes and his. "—Either you're cold again or you're not."

Tommy took the button from your fingers and held it in his hand. Such a fragile token, he thought. If he played along with your line of thinking, he could throw it in the river and never be warm again. Or he could hold onto it and put himself together once more. He might never know which choice was the right one.

"Look, Tommy. I won't besmirch Grace's name by saying this, so I'll put it plainly." You reached your hand forward and rested it a few inches in front of his. "There are loves in our life that are meant to make us want more."

The faint image of a face formed in Tommy's mind. Grace's smile, the softness of her eyes. He saw it so clearly, greeting him again just as she had in his dreams for so long.

"There are those that make us want less."

Grace's smile turned blurry like a thick fog from the river drifted over, unkind and unwilling to let the light shine through

"There are those who wish us to be more than we are because they alone saw the potential, and those who wish us to be more than we're capable of."

Heavier and heavier, the fog took over her image.

"And then there is a love, only one love, that takes you as you are. As you were. As you ever will be. Because they take all of the shit, the broken pieces, the parts of us that are shattered beyond belief—and damn, they fucking love you anyway."

Until she was gone. Replaced by the sweet dew of vapors, overtaking the memories he held onto so dearly. Your words didn't force him to forget. Many tried and failed. No, you made him see it all differently, lifting the veil that love so crudely pulled over his eyes.

Tommy came out from behind the bar and stood before you, still turning the button between his fingers. His expression hadn't changed since you started speaking, a sign that he was processing all you had to say. If you were wrong, he might've stopped you. If you were right, then he wouldn't admit it.

What was it—that pull you felt? He felt it, too. The softness in Tommy's eyes tugged at you. The need, the desperation for comfort that he would never willingly seek—it was calling you, and you didn't understand why. Until now, he was your reflection, separated by the half-inch of glass in the mirror, but now the two images would coincide and pray they wouldn't shatter the other.

You expected him to flinch when you reached for his cheek, but instead, he accepted it. And you swore, just for a second, his eyes softened further as the warmth met his skin. He leaned into your palm with the briefest movement that could've easily been mistaken for a twitch. Before you could process what was happening, he mirrored you, his hand on your face, pulling you towards him until his temple rested against your cheek.

"You may call me a ghost, but ghosts only travel to those who call them." you whispered in his ear. "Maybe it's time you hang up, and just live."

The room felt like it was closing in around the two of you, the air crackling with the weight of unsaid words and the weight of every shared glance. Tommy was so close, so close you could feel his heartbeat pounding in sync with yours. The pull of him—this was what you expected, wanted even. You wanted the walls to come crashing down until he spilled out before you. The indestructible face of Tommy Shelby melted away for you at last.

Tommy pulled back and his eyes flickered to your lips for just a split second, the raw hunger in his gaze finally bubbling to the surface. He leaned in just enough that you could feel his breath ghosting over your lips, your noses brushing as he exhaled. You could taste the desperation, the cold loneliness on his breath.

That taste rolled over your tongue, and the second realization washed over you in an unfamiliar warmth. You hadn't just broken him down. You were reciprocating. The mirror of your hesitation, a fire ignited from two matches burning into char until plumes of smoke poured out into the sky. Both your pieces on the board were at a standstill, locked in a face off that could only end in the two of you being taken out of the game entirely.

His hand slid to the back of your neck, fingers threading through your hair, pulling you just a little closer—closer than you'd had ever been. His lips hovered above yours, his gaze never breaking from your eyes.

As the space between you disappeared, the door to the Garrison slammed open.

“Tommy?” Arthur’s voice cut through the thick tension like a dagger.

Tommy stiffened, his eyes still locked on yours, but there was a flash of annoyance, a flash of something—something dangerous and almost angry—that passed over his face. He didn’t want to break this. He didn’t want to stop, but reality was harsh. Arthur’s sudden entrance slammed you both back into it.

Your breath faltered, and in that split second, when everything had been on the verge of shattering, you felt something cold rush over you. A rush of self-preservation, an instinctive retreat. Without a word, you pulled back from Tommy’s grip, your heart racing in your chest.

The heat lingered, still hanging heavy in the air, but it suddenly felt distant. You didn’t know how to explain it, how to admit how close you had come to meeting him down in the place where you forced him to stay—and you hated yourself for it. You couldn't let him see even though you'd both emerged from the same pool.

“Arthur,” you said, your voice colder than you'd intended, a mask sliding back over your emotions. “You’ve got a damn good timing.”

Tommy, still standing where you left him, didn’t speak. His jaw clenched, a muscle twitching in his cheek. He didn’t want to show how much he wanted to follow you, how much he wanted to pull you back into the moment that had slipped through his fingers. But he kept it in check. He had to.

Arthur looked from Tommy to you, his eyes narrowing. He saw the shift in the air, the way you were both too quiet, too controlled, like something had just cracked wide open and was now trying to fix itself. He could feel it in the room—the heat, the power play, the way you had both come so close to something irreversible.

But no one knew who had the upper hand.

Arthur cleared his throat awkwardly, but there was something in his eyes—a protective concern—for both of you. You wouldn't give him the chance to ask. Not now.

“Goodnight,” you snapped, turning on your heel and heading toward the door.

He nodded once, a silent acknowledgment. Then, almost as an afterthought, you glanced back, your movements deliberate.

"For the next deal, I’ll stay hidden. That’s what you expect, right?" Your words were laced with the same sharpness as before, but this time, there was something else behind them. It was the understanding that however this would play out, whichever of you was the first to slip further than intended—that one mistake could break you both.

The moment was broken, and so was your composure.

#thomas shelby #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby x y/n #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x you #thomas shelby x y/n #tommy shelby fanfic #peaky blinder fanfic #lunarflux #a game of ghosts lunarflux

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seagulley · 10 days ago

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a very polite animal very politely waits her turn at rally class.

#3 years #dogblr #australian shepherd #rally obedience #i asked our instructor if we could do some RO-1/2 (beginner level) courses today and it was lovely :)#the instructor even noted at the end that kaija seemed to be gaining confidence while working on these easier courses #(vs when we work on more difficult signs she can become stressed and deflated and eventually disengage)#and overall it was just pretty nice idk #i'm trying very very hard to get the joy back #this winter it will have been 3 years since we started training in rally #a lot of this journey has been very fun and enjoyable #and i feel pretty shitty sometimes for essentially giving up #but i still don't see a likely path for us to get back to the trial ring. so.#oof these tags got away from me #i have many emotions wrt rally right now in case you couldn't tell

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spotaus · 4 months ago

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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

#spotatalk #i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like #quick summary is #Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i #<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair #Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed #Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay #<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation #and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy #-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it #Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky #Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied #-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard #oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care #<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward #Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away #<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a #little bit funny 🙏

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