#but i still don't feel better unfortunately
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cw omegaverse, noncon touching, neglected!reader
you're slowly convincing yourself that your pack is trying to get rid of you. they've been acting off around you for weeks, and you aren't sure why you've been pushed to the side.
john snaps at you more often now, even during downtime when you're seeking comfort from your head alpha. the soft look he usually directs at you has been replaced by a scowl, and you're not sure if it's from the tedious amount of work and stress that weighs on his shoulders or if it's because you pop into his office every few hours to check on him. maybe you're just making it worse for him—you don't miss the way his face scrunches up whenever you appear in his doorway—so you visit him less often. hopefully he'll appreciate it if you take your sad, sour scent somewhere else.
which leads you to simon, who doesn't seem to notice you at all, not until you approach him first, and then you regret your actions when he greets you with nothing more than a grunt. there's that distant, eerie look in his eyes as he impatiently stares down at you, cocking his head to the side as your words get caught up in your throat. he's been easier to aggravate lately, and unfortunately his irritation doesn't evade you. you can't remember the last time you saw him this guarded around you—maybe when you first joined, although it wasn't this bad—but it still stings nonetheless.
"spit it out, peanut. i don't 'ave all day." your silly callsign rolls off his tongue less affectionately than usual, and you try to scrape up a reason to talk to him, as if being his mate isn't enough. when you finally ask if he's seen the other sergeants, he only scoffs and shakes his head, stalking right past you.
the blatant disregard from both your alphas has your chest aching uncomfortably and your throat winding up tight, but you walk off to somewhere else, wanting to find some dark corner so you can cry all of your frustration out.
you know you should be happy when you bump into your other two mates, grateful even. johnny crowds your front while kyle embraces you from behind, the two of them cooing at your weepy state and promising to make it all better.
but their touches are rougher than you want them to be, and kyle's grinding on you with more hunger than you can handle right now, and johnny's nosing down your neck, whispering promises of turning you pliant and brainless in a second, and you're growing more stressed each time they paw at your body as if you're just their little fuck doll—
you wrestle out of their grip and shove them both away before storming off to your room, leaving the two of them to simmer in the remnants of your stressed and upset scent, the sourness of it hitting them both at the same time. whatever heat they were feeling before is replaced with alarm, and when they try to follow you, you slam the door in their faces, choked-up sobs leaving your mouth as you slump down on your bed.
no one checks up on you that evening—not to apologise, not to see if you're okay, not even to ask if you're hungry. the smell of a distressed omega seeps out of the cracks of your door and wafts around your room, but no one comes. they must really not want you, then.
you tell yourself you're too needy. you're a strain on your alphas, always demanding their attention. you feel like an embarrassment compared to kyle, who, despite being another young omega, can get by with a simple pat on the shoulder, purring away in satisfaction. even johnny isn't as desperate for attention as you, you think bitterly.
the nasty thoughts haunt your mind until you're quietly getting out of bed and walking down to john's office. you know you smell pathetic, but you keep your head down as you walk past other soldiers, who are no doubt pitying you right now.
still, you keep on walking. you need to tell john to break the bond, to rid the pack of you. it needs to be done, even as your heart squeezes painfully and you're close to letting out a sob.
you don't bother knocking, but when you walk in to the sight of kyle sitting on john's lap while simon and johnny stand on either side of their captain as they converse among themselves, you wish a hole in the ground would just swallow you up already.
john notices you first, but you don't catch the way his gaze softens at the sight of your weak state. you know that they all can smell the distress on you, but you try to steady your voice and wipe the tears that are beginning to form again.
"i want to break the bond."
four pairs of eyes zero in on you, and despite the tension in the room and the seriousness of your words, despite your anger and hurt, you can't help but relax slightly as the anxiety gradually melts away. finally, they're paying attention to you.
#sorry for the abrupt ending i just needed to spew this out before i lost inspiration#price#john price x reader#ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#soap#john soap mctavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#gaz#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle garrick x reader#task force 141#task force 141 x reader#tf 141 x reader#poly 141 x reader#rainwrites 𐙚
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A Confession from the Heart of Suffering: An Unbearable Reality
I hope you read my confession, and thank you. This is the reality of all the people of Gaza.
Whenever I think of the life we used to have before the genocide, I have to struggle to hold my tears so I don't cause my children more pain than what they already feel. Our life, then, was neither easy nor perfect but it was full of warmth and the simple joy of being together under one roof .
We have never felt completely free because we have always been under a siege that has only gotten worse during this war but at least we felt somewhat safe and we had quite a decent life with the means that we were allowed.What kept us going was our belief that the future might be brighter one day.
Unfortunately, there seems to be no better tomorrow for us anymore. Nothing remains of our previous lives but rubble and memories, and the future is so bleak and full of uncertainties.It's not just the walls of our house that were turned into ruins, it's our hopes and dreams that were reduced to ashes. Now, we only dream of things that might seem so trivial to other people around the world like being able to sleep in and wake up in a comfortable bed or having a meal without standing for it in line for hours.
We dream of having enough clean drinking water so we don't have to worry about dying of thirst. We dream of the days we had a home with a regular kitchen and stove, the days we could celebrate special occasions with family in peace. Above all, we dream of not losing the people we love in a split second and of living safely and with dignity.
Instead, we have been wrongfully sentenced to a life of fear, displacement, and humiliation beyond belief. It is a living nightmare here now. Everything needed to ensure the bare minimum of decency and normalcy is denied to us. As you well know, there is no safe place in Gaza anymore and We are deprived of simple rights like having having a roof over our heads or enjoying some peace of mind for even one single day. The airstrikes and the buzzing of drones almost never stop. We live with a very real sense of impending doom day and night.
The water and food scarcity are only getting worse with time. Even regular chores like cooking or doing the laundry have become true challenges. I cannot propely bathe my children because the little water we get is polluted and their sensitive baby skin keeps getting irritated.
Before the war, my nine- year-old daughter was so picky about which outfits to wear; it made me laugh that she acted that way at her age but now we don't even have enough warm clothes for the winter. It kills me each time she says she doesn't need fancy clothes anymore and only wants to feel warm and go back to school. What makes it worse is our tent has recently been flooded by rain.
The whole camp turned into a swamp overnight. The children woke up soaked, shivering and terrified. It was almost impossible to calm them down as the rain kept pouring. We are doing our best but even if we succeed in finding the treatment, it's going to cost almost a fortune. This is why we need your support even more now.
All we do now is fight for survival every day. I never imagined,even in my darkest nightmares, that I would be searching high and low to put food in my children's mouths and keep them warm or that I would be begging the world to literally save their lives but I have no other choice now.
Despite the unbearable suffering we're daily going through, I still believe in humanity. please keep us in your prayers and help us anyway you can. Donate if you're able to,reblog and share our story as widely as you can.We are grateful to each and every one of you
Vetted by @bilal-salah0
7,464$ / 10,000$
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Hii
Can I request something with jj and toddler reader?
Basically, Jj works at Country Club (at least I think that is the name of that place he worked that kooks attended) and he's a waiter. Anyways, he's passing from table to table and he begins to notice there is this baby girl who can't be more than three (reader) sitting in one of the tables and is staring at him every time he checks. As soon as he waves a bit at her and she blushes and giggles all embarrased, he understands it right away: this unknown kook kid is having a little crush on him. And he can't deny that is too funny and amusing to him. It all gets even better when he's the one who serves their table.
(reader's parents don't have to be mean even tho that's the kook stereotype. Also, you can add whatever you want🫶)
JJ is cleaning up one of the tables, clenching his jaw when he hears some stuck up kooks complaining about pogues who were being a bit rowdy on figure 8 a few days back.
The country club is the last place he wants to be voluntarily, but the empty fridge and other necessities require him to get a job as a waiter to survive.
Grabbing the few plates he turns to make his way towards the kitchen, glancing through the room he catches a little girl watching him, a adorable smile on her face.
He smirks and goes to the kitchen to place the dirty plates in the sink, making his way out again and sees you still staring at him while your parents try to keep you focused on eating.
JJ keeps making his rounds, taking orders, cleaning tables, or serving food and drinks, but he can feel the little pair of eyes following him and he can't help but smile anytime he catches your gaze on him.
At some point he gives you a small wave and your face flushes up, shying away and pressing your face into your mother's arm who smiles down at you, and JJ watches her leaning down to whisper to you.
As much as JJ hates this job, you somehow manage to make it bearable, at least for today. He passes by your table when your father stops him politely, asking if he could order dessert for you all.
"Sure thing." JJ answers, pulling out the small notebook and a pen, scribbling down what your parents wish to have before he looks directly at you. "And for the little princess?"
You blush and giggle, hiding in the safety of your mother again and she chuckles, rubbing your back. "She's a bit shy."
"Well, how about some ice cream then? Or cake? We even got muffins today." He lists your options and your eyes practically twinkle at the mention of ice cream.
"Ice cream...pwease." You whisper shyly, pulling back to look at him again.
"A'ight." He smiles, leaning down to your level. "I'll make sure to add extra sprinkles." He whispers to you, reaching down to pick up the bunny lovey that fell on the ground and hands it back to you, booping your nose before he turns to get the dessert for your table.
Soon he's carrying everything towards your table, placing the plates and your bowl of ice cream in front of you.
"Thankies!" You smile at him brightly and JJ could swear he never met a toddler, especially a kook, as polite and well behaved as you.
JJ is standing behind the bar counter, cleaning the surface as he sees how your parents pay and get ready to leave, noticing the way you frown and reluctantly get up from your seat.
You take your mother's hand and tug on it to get her attention and she leans down to hear what you want to say, smiling and nodding her head.
JJ smiles when he sees you walking over to him and he squats down. "What's up, cupcake?"
You giggle and hold out a 10 dollar bill. "S'for you..."
He feels his heart skip a beat at how adorable you are, taking the bill from your hand he boops your nose again. "Thank you. Til next time."
You smile at him before dashing off towards your mother and let her pick you up, waving one last time at JJ.
A few days later he unfortunately got fired because his temper flared when Topper made a snarky comment.
Your parents were there the day, luckily without you so you didn't have to witness this, and watched how he stormed out, feeling bad for him and knowing how sad you will be when you find out that you won't see him there again.
But guess who got hired as your new babysitter?
Taglist
For everything:
@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse
@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu @mylettterstoyou @sunf1ower16
For JJ:
@chiaraanatra @chimindity @flora-eva
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PAC: "Little Warnings"
(this is strictly for entertainment purposes only)
Unfortunately, this is gonna hurt. So, don't read through this if you're already going through some pretty harsh stuff.
When I felt called to do this PAC, I felt that we needed to be humbled and check ourselves occasionally to see if we were being a bit too arrogant. It's such an odd feeling to be called to do this theme for this specific PAC, but hey, even if not every loving call out may be meant for others, every message is still, in some shape or form, valid. Not all of it may resonate with you, and that is still okay~
But I am manifesting that you will encounter this when the universe deems you need to be lovingly knocked down a few pegs~
Nothing wrong with a little loving call-out?
Pile 1:
Cards Pulled:
Queen of Wands, Hierophant, 5 of Coins
Hi Pile 1, if you chose this pile, whenever part of your journey you read this, here are your little warnings you might need to know, so only take what resonates with you, okay?
"Aren't you getting a bit over your head lately? Nothing wrong about being confident in your own abilities but you don't need to rub it in other people's faces that you know you're that Queen B~"
"There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance, my dear. If you don't want to be perceived as someone abrasive or cheap, you know what you need to do."
"Traditions are great and all but there's always room to make new traditions. Honoring the past doesn't mean you have to continue living in the past."
"Which would you prefer being ruthlessly right all the time and be hated? Or learn how to communicate compassionately without sacrificing your truth?"
"Don't expect different results when you're clearly stuck in your ways."
"No matter how much you mean well, if you don't know how to respectfully convey your messages properly, you will not be understood in a way that you'd prefer."
"Don't expect other people to pick up on your body language and subtle hints. Not everyone is as painfully self aware as you."
"Your Past pain is valid but your attitude is not."
"You keep behaving like you can't get passed your trauma from your past then btch out on how cruel life was for you, so you project your hurt towards others, especially towards people who are living the life that you want. Seriously, pick a struggle and push through it. Make it make sense."
"You are not bound to the environment you grew up in, because you have the power to change your destiny. Remember, at the end of the day, only you can save yourself from your circumstance."
"You are more capable than you let yourself believe you are. You just chose to live in your pain when you know you have to put in the effort for you to change your life for the better."
"You are bound by your own self imposed limitations. You are imprisoned in your mind by your own fear."
Channeled Song:
(this concludes the end of your reading)
(this is strictly for entertainment purposes only)
Pile 2:
Cards Pulled:
Queen of Swords, Chariot, Strength
Hi Pile 2, if you chose this pile, whenever part of your journey you read this, here are your little warnings you might need to know, so only take what resonates with you, okay?
- "I'm all up for honesty, just not verbal abuse. So be discerning if the receiver of the message is too soft hearted or easily traumatised."
- "Words are double edged swords. The same words that can heal can also break someone's heart."
- "Discern which battles are worth fighting for. Know when to retreat your words when you know that how you speak may bring more harm than good."
- "Being assertive and a goal getter is nice and all, but remember, your passion may be misinterpreted as abrasive and uncouth. Remember to respect other's personal boundaries."
- "Going after what you want is normal, disregarding someone's feelings and free will isn't."
- "Think before you speak or do."
- "Your way isn't the only way."
- "Impulsive behaviour leaves you susceptible to disaster and unnecessary quarrel. It won't kill you to think before you leap."
- "You don't need to so harsh and dominant to be perceived as strong."
- "Having strength does not warrant you to be mannerless and disrespectful."
- "Hypervigilance doesn't mean you're strong. It means you've been pushed to the corner where you had no one to rely on, especially during the times you need anyone the most."
- "Being able to do everything on your own doesn't mean you don't need help. You can lean on to others unharmed too. Not everyone is out to get you."
- "Just because you used to being in pain and on your own, it doesn't mean that what you've gone through is something you deserve. Don't catastrophize every bad thing that's happened to you as a punishment from the universe. Unfortunately, bad things happen for no reason. You were just unfortunately at the wrong place in the wrong time."
- "You don't deserve to be stuck in your hyperindepence and wear your lack of trust in others like a badge of honor. Your body can only hold so much trauma before it starts completely wrecking your nervous system and have it physically manifest as an illness. Ex. You struggle to lose weight no matter how much you work out because your body doesn't feel safe to exist. That's why you body stores fat as a cushion to help make it feel safe to exist."
- "How far will you keep pushing the people you love away? Are you waiting for their patience to run out so that you can subconsciously prove to yourself that everyone would leave you?? You're so hellbent in your skewed narrative that feeds your self-sabotaging tendencies and lack of self worth that you'd do anything to have your negative self talk to manifest into your reality. Stop feeding yourself the BS that (If they're meant for me, they'll stay. News Flash, no one wants to willing stay with someone who refuse to grow out of their own toxicity. No one can save you but yourself. EVEN YOUR LOVED ONES HAS LIMITS TOO."
- "Be a dear and search up the meaning of the ff. words: GASLIGHTING, STONE WALLING, COVERT NARCISSIST, ACCOUNTABILITY, EMOTIONAL MATURITY, JEALOUSY, SOFT FBOI/GURL, SHADOW WORK, MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING (Feel free to see which words hurts the most for you and start working on that)"
- "No one can save you from your own self imposed mental prison of scarcity and unworthiness. People around you can only do so much for you. The power to trap you and free you has always been in your hands."
- "Are you done thinking that everyone is out to get you? Hopefully you'd come to realise that people don't think about you as much as you think they do. Everyone's busy barely surviving their lives to be bothered to meddle with yours."
- "You're not as strong as much as a target you think you are, and that's okay. You don't have to be in everyone's mind and in everyone's DM to feel important. You are worthy and deserving of all regardless if you are in the spotlight or behind the scenes."
- "Two things can be true at the same time. You are the Main Character of your life and also be a background character is someone else's storyline."
- "What's serious for you may not be serious for someone else. So don't expect others to adjust for you when you made zero efforts to properly communicate what you wanted to say."
Channeled Song:
(this concludes the end of your reading)
(this is strictly for entertainment purposes only)
Pile 3:
Cards Pulled:
7 of Swords, Ace of Swords, 6 of Wands
Hi Pile 3, if you chose this pile, whenever part of your journey you read this, here are your little warnings you might need to know, so only take what resonates with you, okay?
- "Just because someone broke your heart it doesn't give you the right to leave a trail of broken hearts in your path. Your pain is valid but your attitude and actions afterwards aren't."
- "Being betrayed in the past doesn't mean you should play and to toy with someone else's feelings. You are becoming the player that you hated the game for."
- "Not all people mean to use and abuse you. Other people are just good natured and mean what they say. Don't confuse someone's genuity because someone else broke your trust before."
- "Discernment is highly encouraged, projecting your pain and jealousy isn't."
- "It's great to chase new ideas, what's not great is to chase the idea of someone new then cheat on your current partner just because things got bored. Don't be a part of the problem."
- "Don't even dare entertain anyone new just because you chose to be lazy and not put in the effort to communicate on how your current relationship can get better. Emotionally opening up to someone is cheating. Having a work husband/wife is still cheating. Putting yourself in any situation that would cause your partner to doubt your loyalty is a breeding ground of disaster of the life you currently know."
- "If you caved in and cheat now, you are bound to cheat again. If you allow yourself to be tempted now, you have proven yourself unworthy to even be in a loving relationship. In short: you have become part of the problem. So don't expect receiving anything you refused to give. You have no right to the privileges of an exclusive and healthy relationship if you fck around and find out. (because you actively chose to play whack a mole and find out what it's like to have std because of your recklessness)."
Channeled Song:
- "How far will you go just to win? Will you cheat on your partner just to have a promotion? Will you pay someone to ruin your competition just to win? Will you start a smear campaign just to go ahead? Will you drop little white lies to make yourself appear as the better option? How illegal and immoral would you allow yourself to become just to get ahead? Is it worth it? Lose your friends and family along the way? Just to win that empty cup?"
- "Will you abandon your morals just to win?"
(this concludes the end of your reading)
(this is strictly for entertainment purposes only)
Pile 4:
Cards Pulled:
6 of Swords, Knight of Cups, 7 of Wands
Hi Pile 4, if you chose this pile, whenever part of your journey you read this, here are your little warnings you might need to know, so only take what resonates with you, okay?
- "Unfortunately, leaving the problem behind without any explanation or letter won't make it go away."
- "Ghosting, just to protect your ego, is never the answer. Face your issues like an adult and accept the consequences of your actions accordingly."
- "No amount of dr*gs, alcohol, smoke or flings can help you tun away from your own willful ignorance. You can't run away from your own feelings. The only way to get away/rid of your problem is by facing it. This is one of the moments in a person's life where DELULU is NOT the SOLULU."
- "Fleeing the country won't keep you from feeling your feelings."
- "Just because you understand how people work and emotionally operate, it doesn't mean that you should use that to your unfair advantage. Stop binge watching those dark psychology videos. And you wonder why people pick a bad vibe from you? What do you expect? You are indeed the problem: the not so covert manipulative problem."
- "Stop using the promise of helping others with their dreams just so you can trick them in making your dreams come true at their expense."
- "You can only spin a web of lies so far."
- "You're not as convincing of a gaslighter as you think you are. People can see through your lies, they just chose not to speak up because, yes, they do it out of pity."
- "Resilience is incredibly admired but bulldozing other people out of your way to get the results is out of the question."
- "Not seeing the results that you want then btching about not having slept enough and feeling like you're about to collapse? You chose to overwork and overburden yourself to the point of burn out, and you're shocked that your health and sanity is fcked up? Dear, make it make sense."
- "Has it ever occurred to you that just because you put in the effort to win someone over, it doesn't mean that they're obligated to choose you? Free will and preferences are a thing, you know? You can be everything and more to that person, and that person is not required nor obligated to choose you. You can the most ideal man/woman and still not be chosen."
- "Don't expect exclusivity from someone who told you from the beginning that they're there to fck around. You can't change someone just because you stayed. You can only keep someone that wants to be kept by you."
Channeled Song:
(this concludes the end of your reading)
(this is strictly for entertainment purposes only)
Feel free to check out my feedback herePaid Readings are AVAILABLE
In all honesty, I feel so bad for releasing this PAC but there's this oddly strong gut feeling that we all need to be humbled and wake up to the toxicity we all chose to lie with at night.
In fact, some things we've gone through, unfortunately are the results of our own lack of accountability.
Sorry if I hurt your feelings, but some painful warnings need to be said.
Notice:
Exchange Readings are OPEN
Feel free to send me some support in the form of tips,
Head to my Buy-Me-A-Coffee here 🍀
#divination#tarot reading#tarot#tarotcommunity#intuition#tarotblr#pick a photo#pick a pile#pick a picture#pick a card#pac tarot#pac reading#SoundCloud#Spotify
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this poll was made in a lab for me
brady tkachuk IS abby cadabby (one of the sesame street muppets) like i really don't know how to explain it beyond trust me bro but it is true trust me IT IS TRUEEEEEEE i just KNOW brady and rocco would get along good!!! and they are both talkative and kind until they get angry at which point they lash out and need to learn a lesson (abby gets told that yelling isn't nice, brady gets put in the box)
here are some of my other faves/assorted hockeys as muppets
connor bedard: robin the frog (i am projecting a bit)
nick fologno: kermit the frog (.... okay, this is left field UNLESS you know the chaos that is the 24-25 hawks team, plus if connor is gonna be robin then nick has to be kermit)
alexander ovechkin: cookie monster
tyler seguin: denise (kermits girlfriend from the ABC Muppets sitcom)
leon draisaitl: ernie (people think that ernie is hyperactive, he isnt he's just social and bert is more introverted)
connor mcdavid: bert
matt rempe: big bird!!!! ITS BIG BIRD HE IS BIG.... BIRD!!! even if he wasn't tall he would still be big bird
kevin korchinski: snuffleupagus (mostly because he's big bird/matt rempe's friend and NO ONE HAS SEEN HIM [he's just down in the AHL right now])
cole caufield: little bird (no link to kevin or matt, he just seems like one of the wiser shot boys)
marc andre flury: pepe the king prawn
quinn hughes: fozzie bear
jack hughes: rowlf
luke hughes: lew zeeland
will smith: grover (again, just trust me)
macklin celebrini: rosita
travis konecny: animal
mitch marner: julia (he was made perfect but then he was tainted by association and now everyone hate him, and everyone who remembers that he's perfect is laughed at by the ones who hate him)
tom willson: bobo the bear
nate mackinnon: captain vegtable
evgeni malkin: oscar the grouch
sidney crosby: slimey
mario lemiux: uncle deadly (this could go for any player who has his hands all over the franchise after retiring, but i think mario is the funniest one)
auston matthews: janice
matthew tkachuk: miss piggy
tim stüzle: zoe
dr bunsen honeydew: shane pinto
beaker: josh noris
jacob trouba: gonzo (this one is hard, because.... well.... its gonzo, but i think trouba is a good mix of mad comedian, bad performance art and stuntman, now unfortunately this also means that jacob touba is gender queer now i guess???)
brad marchand: camilla (you need to seperate camilla from gonzo for this to work, also the idea of a trouba/marchand relationship terrifies me so.... just no, instead you can imagine that brad marchand as camilla is dating muppet gonzo, and jacob trouba gonzo is dating muppet camilla)
wayne gretzsky: statler
paul "biz nasty" bissonnette: waldorf (okay these two are just vibes, BUT read this amazing post from @/crosbyism then tell me i'm wrong!)
claude giroux: dr teeth (again vibes, but him being an actual doctor fits with claude bragging about working with his dad for a summer as an electrician)
erik karlsson: swedish chef (have you SEEN this man's pregame meal, holy SHIT)
notable omissions
walter: i just can't think of any hockey who is walter, i feel like playing hockey long enough to get to the NHL would un walterify someone.
rizzo: none of these men are rizzo. and frankly that disgusts me.
sam eagle: i refuse to give a republican enough of my brain energy to assign them to sam
count von count: all the stats nerds have other muppets who better fit them.
elmo: maybe one day there will be a true elmo hockey but.... i can't see one. if there is a true elmo he'd need to be in juniors because elmo CAN'T be an adult who acts like a child, elmo is just a child who is being himself!
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laurvvvvv u kathi hope your back feels better soon and wishing you the best with school n work bby
ahh thank you sooooo much darling!!! 🥹💘 that means a lot to me and i really appreciate it 🫶🏻 take care and stay healthy buttercup 💗💫🍀🥠
#i actually missed the last 2 days of school bc my neck pain got worse :(#i went to see a 3rd doctor yesterday who's also a chiropractor & he cracked my back & neck a little#but i still don't feel better unfortunately#i think all the time i have to spend at a desk writing things down at school & when i study also worsen the pain & make it so persistent#i definitely don't move enough & the doctor said i should do sports so i started doing yoga again#he suggested jogging or going to the gym in general but that's just not my thing#i'll try to do yoga/pilates & some dancing regularly & hopefully this pain will go away soon bc i'm really tired of it :(#i think it's not going away bc of the constant stress from school since i have exams every single week + the lack of movement#let's hope yoga helps it's definitely good for my body either way#replies#anonymous#when sad#keep forever 🗝#thanks for checking in on me and caring it really means a lot 💘🫶🏻🥹 looovvee youuu mwaaah ❣
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I think the reason that MTMTE remains the most defining, influential, and loved series in the IDW1 run is fundamentally because, despite its many flaws, MTMTE has the power to make you think and wonder about the world beyond what's shown on the page. The character relationships are so strongly developed that it's easy to care about the characters and easy to imagine further adventures they could go on. While the myriad dropped plotlines, underwritten/underutilized characters, and worldbuilding with weird implications are all fucking maddening at times... even if it makes you mad, MTMTE makes you mad because you care and it makes you want to immerse yourself into a world that feels like it's real beyond what's explicitly shown to you on the page. It's a sandbox of a story where there's so much fertile ground for pretty much anyone with any preferred character archetype, storyline, etc to dig in.
It's just... immersive. That's the best way I can put it. It feels like it could be real and it makes you want to spend more time in it than the constraints JRO had. It makes you want to know more about it and come up with theories on how/why things function or happen the way they do. That's why it's loved and that's why it's the best series in IDW1.
#squiggposting#the intense focus on character and heart ties into a post on here that said something like#a story with good characters but a bad plot can still be good bc at least you care about the characters#and a story with a good plot but boring characters sucks because you don't care#and i think that's why like. despite barber having ideas (sometimes storylines) of comparable weight to mtmte his shit isn't as widely read#crossovers aside it's bc barber focuses on plot and The Message to the detriment of individual characters and that's why it's a drag to rea#no time is taken to explore side stories or implications. character relationships are underdeveloped or crammed into the margins#or like there's maybe 3 characters that are developed and one of them is arcee (bless btw that's good shit)#when JRO's writing sucks it makes me go 'he could've done X Y or Z. you know what I feel like writing it myself'#when barber's writing sucks it makes me go 'why did i even bother getting invested in this when nothing matters in canon'#or 'was this written to actively spite me as the reader' or 'this is so stupid i literally don't know how i'd fix it'#unfortunately after like 2 years of coping im forced to admit that MTMTE is indeed the best series in idw1 and there's literally no contest#you can't even call it overrated the way ppl focus exclusively on it bc mtmte literally is as good as ppl say it is. better even
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4 on the angst list with Araleyn please I need them to suffer
4 : "but it's my fault, right?" (prompt list here)
#<blinks> very gently implied angst i suppose. usually everyone makes anne suffer so for a change#here's catherine struggling with the idea that if she hadn't been so stubborn about divorce-#maybe it would have been more okay for henry to divorce anne instead of. yknow. chopping her head off.#gently implied angst with the. well. i hurt this person i care about. unintentionally. but still. hence also the historical counterparts bg#... i feel like this isn't suffering (italicised for emphasis) but unfortunately? i am in a more melancholy mood#and also coming to conclusion that whump isnt really my taste.. so quite literally you'd have to pay me to draw it .. dfdsghjkl comms open#anyways yeah i think the most you'll get from my own stuff is <reference to beheading> <mentioned death> <abstract reds that might be blood#six the musical#six the musical fanart#anne boleyn#catherine of aragon#pssst drew anne extra pretty bc coa pov. if you get what i mean.#oh that got off tangent. but also tldr; requests mean free art!! (also idm if you ask for specific things. like your own aus. just to put#that out there)#but also requests: 1. up to my creative freedom and discretion so you probs won't get exactly what you want + 2. no time limit so#can take literal years to reply to.#so ig ? if you have specific things in mind. that you want me to draw. commissions would be better for you if you'll pay!#but if you don't have the money i'm also. lowkey willing to draw for free.. stick it in the inbox .. there's just no guarantee you'll get it#within the next year.. or at all! but you may as well try your luck o.O#(this plan is terrible for business but because for a very long time i was unable to buy anything online. i sympathise greatly ig)
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the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier
#and also it's nice to know exactly what your food is going to taste like before you eat it#like when i get unfamiliar takeout. half the time i'm like. oh.#i'm going to have to eat all of this. or be judged.#so i just do my best to suppress my gag reflex and Get Through It and then it makes me sick so what was even the point#i think my parents spoiled me. and the most annoying thing is they're significantly better at cooking now than when i was a child#so when i go over i eat three delicious home cooked meals + snacks and they're all different and amazingggg#and then i come back to texas and i am like. googling 'how to feed myself healthy vegetarian'#because I do NOT have the time or money or energy to cook three beautiful delicious meals Just For Me#i think this would be easier with a partner#this whole week i bought a fuckton of mediterranean groceries and i have been making and eating food!!#mediterranean is close enough to indian that i like it well enough#unfortunately for me. i am def going to have to learn how to cook indian food to get through life. because i cannot fucking eat american#i don't know HOW you guys do it i'm so spoiled#i'm assuming meat is this really amazing wonderful thing that just adds flavor to everything#(it is physically repulsive to me and the couple times ive accidentally tasted it it's bleh so i refuse to partake)#i think it's an acquired taste but it magically makes ur food better. that is my understanding of how meat works#cause american vegetarian food is the saddest fucking thing i've ever tasted#i still think about my coworker i was talking to about my food issues and he was like. 'do u understand that you have been given a gift#by having constant access to tasty food your entire life. i ate unseasoned green beans every day of my childhood. learn how to fucking cook#indian food already.' truly a horrific thing to hear. but i'm calling my parents more and going HOW TO COOK VEGETABLE? BEAN? PLEASE HELP??#and by god i am not going to turn into my coworker.#anyways we start with baby steps. lentils and rice it is next week .-. going to the indian store to buy pickles to make it more tolerable#and i have my cabinet full of spices already at least#i wish i was less pickyyy#sometimes lalita cooks indian food for me and i'm like wow. i love and appreciate u for feeding me. but this sure is south indian food#i don't understand How they use spices. it feels like they toss as much of as many bottles as they can into every dish#and it's. the taste is just OW OW OW and nothing else. where's the nuance. the flavor.#and i like it when things are spicy!! i can even eat things where the flavor is just Hot. but not when she cooks it.#she will like watch my face when i take a bite and then go 'if you don't like it i'm throwing away all my pots and running away'#which. honestly a fair reaction. the problem is that i am incapable of lying
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algerian trans women arent able to compete in women sports at all, but yeah its makes no sense to call khelif tme. youre so fucking smart.
i see you don't believe that i'm quoting one of the trans women in my life about that, which is your prerogative. it's also your right to miss my point entirely both about the ways this alienates intersex people and about the rigidity of a binary that comes down to the same shrinking circles terfs draw when they try to quantify what a woman is (speak up for women, the most organised nz group, have now submitted on the human rights act suggesting that all babies be karyotyped at birth and the results be public, bc they can't establish any other definition they agree on. absolutely fucking nobody, not even their christian or conspiracist allies, agrees with them on this one.)
but you don't have to take my word for it! when i was at that consultation with the nz law commission, i was in a room with many other intersex and trans people, including trans athletes and trans women like lexie matheson who consult on trans inclusion in sports at a high national level. i don't think there's a single person in that room who did not name what was happening to khelif as we spoke as transmisogyny, who did not speak of her as part of a group with whom we all shared something.
at the end of the day, prison abolition informs all of my politics. i believe that we must look clearly and carefully at harm and distinguish it from discomfort or disagreement, and identify its structural sources and true perpetrators. i believe that to build a better future we must be capable of imagining one. i believe that we can build a world where suffering is not the metric by which we determine value or punishment or righteousness. i believe that we can build a world where we centre and uplift those who are most hurt, in every arena — black and brown trans women, here; in some of my other work, it's incarcerated intellectually disabled people, or asian migrant sex workers affected by section 19, the list goes on — without then pitting them against other people who share some of the same story and will benefit from the same deconstruction of the systems that hold them down. i believe we can build a world in which asab doesn't affect so much of your life by beginning that work now.
there's a politics of scarcity — you have it better than me, so we have nothing in common. i saw it all the time in brothels, the idea that the new girl is taking money out of your kids' mouths. the viciousness with which people who are struggling are so ready to abandon solidarity. is it so hard to demand better for everyone? to think less about the ways we're alone and more about the ways we're together?
maybe it is. i know that well enough as a prison abolitionist. people get scared. they swing at shadows, they swing at anyone who seems to be suffering less, they — we, i should say, i am certainly not immune — get blindingly jealous of people who seem to have it easier. that's grief! that's grief for the easier life that we deserve. and we get to mourn, and take that time to feel it, and then we can choose if we want to keep working hand in hand with each other toward a world where that grief is dwarfed by the promise of the future.
#or you could simply say that she's not a trans woman instead of trying to make these terms fit? 'exempt' does make no sense here#unfollow me if you don't like what i'm saying! i don't intend to harp on it i like my little corner of tumblr and don't want this to spread#rbs still turned off anons also going off bc frankly i need to catch up on all my irl commitments and on local organising#and on the day job which is international organising related lmao#i really really cannot say this enough: even for the people i know who are both terminally online in trans circles AND organising irl#committing to more of the latter makes you feel a lot better about the former#also as always: i live in new zealand. i think half the problem with trans discourse is that people cannot imagine not just a better future#but a present in which there are communities less dysfunctional irl than this big messy online one#and that's saying something given how much i've vented on here about local dysfunction#i know a lot of people — mostly trans women — on here + twitter who feel afraid to have these conversations in public bc ppl act like this#and they have better things to do#technically so do i but unfortunately last night i was upset so i've opened another can of worms ig#which fucking sucks for me because every single time i have this conversation it devolves into people refusing to believe my csa history#or that i was sexed the ways i was as a kid#tony muses
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I hate living in this world.
#misc#negativity tw#first off i had an argument with a colleague at work#we had to move places for the millionth time in this stupid open space#which already annoyed me#but this guy came at bargained like he always do while i said nothing because it's not like we chooae#and he always does that for actual work because and idk at first i made a snarky comment about now that he got what he wanted he better be#ready to work instead of hiding when somebody ask him to do his job#and he told me he didn't understand the remark#and my hot temper that makes me snap every five years took over#i bet he has by now complaining aboutme like he does about everything#anyway i take hours to calm down (not calm after 4 hours)#I'm also pissed at me cause i can't get emotional without shaking stupidly which makes me look like an hysterical person (i mean sadly i am)#also if there has to have an explanation once my anger is gone tomorrow i will be back on social anxiety mode which is gonna make it worse#all of this reminded me that i need to find a new job for ten thousand reasons#but unfortunately all employers are shit and actually i don't even know what i want to do#and as usual i have no energy for anything because i am still a major piece of shit#then i wanted to relax#made the mistake to open Instagram because I'm also stupid#and i know i don't often talk about politics and stuff#but it's really draining me#i barely or read news just enough to be aware#and honestly its exhausting but I dont want to complain cause Im in a privileged position where i have the chance to be able to 'shut off'#and yes my country and especially this government is sickening me#and like its people too#and also insta is full of pride posts#and i am stupid to read the homophobic and transphobic comments#and genuinely these people alongside racist and islamophobic people really scare the hell out of me#hopefully i don't engage but i shouldn't read anything at all tbh#speaking of pride im spiralling because even tho i kinda identify as aro i feel like a freak and i have nobody to tell me im not
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Fanwork creators self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics/art/podfics/etc. that you've made, then pass on to others. Let’s spread the self-love 🌼
(No pressure if you don't want to though!)
Hope you have a good day! ✨
ah damn ok uhhhh i'm still very happy with This Rojade piece, My Murder Boy, this Flight Rising thing, this Julie one, and my DC fantasy fic copper & gold <3
#thank you for the ask! i've never done one of these!#you have a good day as well <3#rambles from the bog#going through my archive has made me confront the fact#that ive drawn more welcome home in the past few months#than i have drawn literally anything else ever#i am Exaggerating a little but also. am i#damn. the fixation is real...#anyway can't say that these are my Favorites since i don't really have any!#unfortunately i either dislike or am at best just Satisfied with everything i make/post#im trying to change that mindset but yk#its tough! i still have a ways to go! i have to work to reach the level i want to achieve!#or at least reach a level where i can look at my creations and feel pride#but im confident ill get there someday#its easier to be content with my writing than my art#i mean i have a ways to go with both but i still think im at present a Better Writer#despite enjoying art far more!#or maybe not at present... my writing skills have atrophied a bit... there is Much i need to practice
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persona 4 is so so so so so special to me oughhhhhh,,, i've only been hyperfixated on it for like two or three months but i hold it near and dear to my heart. <3 the investigation team is like THE best friend group in fiction i think, the story's amazing, the characters are even more amazing, the fandom's so nice and cool. persona 4 i love you so so so so so so so fucking much people are way too mean to you sometimes. <333
#rambearling#persona 4#p4#i get the criticisms of p4 tbc it does have a lot of issues. but it's still so amazing and i enjoyed every second of it#and i'm sure i will everytime i replay it too :3#(i haven't even actually beaten izanami on my first playthrough yet but whatever i'm basically at the end-)#i'm sure kinning teddie biases me to some degree but who cares. i love you persona 4 i will forever be deranged over you <333#i should beat izanami sometime soon-#her dungeon just suckssssss and i ran out of goho-m's and return daikons and don't have trafuri#so i'll have to run all the way back so i can register all my personas and skill cards for ng+#(probably won't use them beary much for a while but better safe than sorry-)#anyways there's def stuff i wish p4 did better but unfortunately it's beary much a product of its time#atlus has gotten better i think though so i feel like if they remake it they'll handle it better C'MONNNNNNN PERSONA 4 REWIND-#sorry it's 2 am i think i'm getting my late night zoomies. i should eep g'night-
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#On GOD I am suffering#but this is how it's been at every job I've had#I'm just destined#And hoo boy does it suck#I've just got that unfortunate 'good work ethic' as the youths call it#Or as I like to call it#An easy to take advantage of personality#At least I'm not the only one doing it at this job#There's three people in my position doing this#Much better than at McD*n*ld's where I was the ONLY MOTHERFUCKER PUTTING IN EFFORT#AND I WAS PUTTING IN ENOUGH TO PICK UP THE SLACK FOR AN ENTIRE FUCKING KITCHEN#But also like#This job doesn't actually matter. We don't do anything worthwhile.#We peddle numbers to make large corporation make more money. Yaaaaaay.#So the lack of fulfillment from that honestly makes it feel almost worse#Also something something grass is always greener etc etc#I would not go back to Maccas given the choice#But I'm still going to complain#As is my wont
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and for asks too – please know that i have a buuunch of them and it takes me a while to get to them no matter how long the ask is and no matter who it's from like i have moots stuck in there i have anons stuck in there me not answering is NEVERRR anything personal i just can't keep up with anything
#it could just be a one sentence long message and it will still take me time to reply#i wanna apologize for this too but i feel like that would imply that the situation will get better#and that i'll get better#but i don't think that's the case#like i will always be slow#with everything#and godd my tbr list too#i have a million things to read#THAT I WANTTTTTTTTTTTT TO READ#THAT I FUCKING WANT TO READ#but there's so much going on inside my head and it's so hard to focus#sometimes i can get on a Roll and then i'll answer a bunch of asks in a day but then it takes me like WEEKS to answer the others#i have things that are months old in there#MONTHSSS#and i do feel bad#i feel like shit#but unfortunately#those feelings do not help me at all#if anything they just make everything even harder to do lmao#isn't life just so fun#i'm not even living properly i don't even have a job or anything and i still can't do shit#yay#mayor of loserville#tw vent
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(。・ω・。)ノ♡
#Alright I got tragically interrupted while watching it but I'm finally finished watching the episode!!#It's really really good both the animation and drawings are very detailed compared to the rest of the anime but...#The pace is so off :((( Like it's not the end of the world but ugh. It's unfortunate...#So many things just don't hit off as deeply because everything is moving so fast all the time and there's no time to process anything.#They won't allow you one second for the last line of a scene to sink in that the next scene's ost is already playing.#And like it's not even the worst crime an anime can commit I guess but still...#I wish they didn't. Like rather than make a 13 episodes season and squeeze the Sky Casino arc in merely two episodes it would have been–#a lot better to finish the season at the previous episode and make 12 episodes out of everything (so that everything could be better paced)#Like yeah maybe it's not the best season ending that there can be but... It's not terrible either‚ you have Atsushi saying the line–#“there's still hope” and the season ending there‚ that's pretty cool#I don't know why everyone feels like they have to rush all the time.#Guys do I have to be the one to remind you you make more money if more season come out.#Like how can the knowledge of Sigma being made by the book have any kind of impact when we've only known him for ten minutes.#Teruko's looking mad AND looking cutesy AND blowing up the landing zone didn't have the same comedic effect they did in the manga because..#It just happened all together! There's no time to process anything. Or maybe I'm just slow idk but I mean YOU GOTTA–#MAKE TIME FOR THE OPENING AND ENDING IN THE EPISODE c'mon man#Sorry I'm complaining it's actually good. I really really love Teruko & Tachihara. Jouno too!!!#I liked the Tahihara spotlight this episode... It's so cute to see what he's like when he's not acting– well‚ not completely I guess#Mmmmhhh.#Yesterday I read an interesting post on how a lot of early dc/mk wouldn't work today because the technology of the world has changed SO muc#I think a similar reflection can be made for the doa terrorist plot. Countries are pushing towards a complete digital money transition.#In 50 years or so coins may not be circulating anymore and today already the impact of this terrorist plot would be a lot smaller–#compared to when the chapters were coming out. I think#Well. Nice episode! Forward to next week! If tomorrow's manga chapter hasn't killed me before that#random rambles
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