#but i sort of feel like that's missing the point

[savanir]

The What Corps?

“we have you now spook! there is nowhere you can run and hide with our new spectral tethers active!”

Danny winces at the small metal clips that have hooked themselves in his leg, some new GIW tech that is messing with his powers.

“oh yeah? I was just dying for you guys to give me a challenge” plan. plan. He's gotta think of a plan to get out of here and fast. He takes a steadying breath and starts to look for anything that can help him.

he can’t get caught here. He just can't. He simply won’t allow himself.

suddenly the two GIW goons in front of him click their earpieces to clearly listen to what someone else is telling them, Danny is very glad for his own enhanced senses.

“Operatives K and O, be advised, there have been sightings of a new ectoplasmic entity near your location. Other operatives report that it’s incredibly small and moves fast. watch your backs, this may be an ambush”

small and fast? it better not be some poor little blob ghost, Danny sort of hopes it’s some manner of ectowasp, at least that could be entertaining to see.

“you better not be hoping for back up, ecto scum”

“I have no idea what you are talking about”

It's then that a small bright green light zips on scene and weaves through crowds in the distance with ease and then speeds up towards the two operatives who do not hesitate to shoot, missing completely like the storm troopers they are.

Whatever it is, it is indeed going very fast but Danny manages to figure out what it looks like and it appears to be a… ring?

“hold it you tiny accessory shaped ecto fiend!”

The ring does a speedy circle around Operative O while K is lining up a shot and ends up blasting the poor guy point blank in his face, “O!”

Danny takes a step forward with an arm outstretched and a “oh damn! Are you alright?” on his lips when the ring takes the chance to slip on his finger. “Daniel Fenton of Earth”

Danny already had a freakout about a ghost jewelry getting on him, his experiences with those so far have been incredibly bad after all, what with the rings and crowns and pendants… now this damn thing is just straight up outing him! 

Thank the ancients the two GIW stooges are too busy with each other right now to pay close attention to what this weird ring is saying.

“You have the ability to overcome great fear” ah so this is related to him steeling himself just now? Maybe? or something??

You have been chosen” never good, we are back to freaking out again.

“Welcome to the green lantern corps” 

… the what?

Danny notices that his usual outfit suddenly has more green going on, and his DP symbol has some sort of… he guess it’s supposed to be a lantern, maybe? shape around it.

He’s somehow even more glowy now, and there is something on his face. Feeling its shape makes him think it’s some sort of mask.

The metal clip things are no longer attached to his legs though so that’s great!

“You’re not getting away so easily ecto scum! sentient ghost paraphernalia coming to your rescue or no!” They both aim their weapons to take a shot.

Danny figures he can now easily hold them back with his usual shields,“you guys realize you just called this weird ring sentient and thereby negate the whole nonsentie-ack!”

“Attacking a corps lantern is punishable offense as of the instatement of the galactic diplomatic immunity as declared by the-” Okay so now Danny is just raising his eyebrow at this weird as fuck ring. Just what is it going on about?

“notifying nearby lanterns and requesting assistance with apprehension of hostiles”

what?

“getting your friends to help you out vile spook? such a thing is useless with the Blackout still very much in place”

Well… the two streaks of green light in the distance is making Danny doubt that statement.

Maybe there is more to this Lantern corps thing than he thought… And something tells him his life is about to get even more complicated than it already is.

[psychotrenny]

I reckon the whole HalimedeMF thing was a funny enough bit by itself, but it's a really grim sign that so many people completely missed the point. Like you've got this comical exaggeration of a Chaser "ally", someone whose "support" for trans women is clearly nothing but the product of dehumanising sexual desire, and yet Trans Women are such a viciously marginalised demographic that so many girls will latch onto every illusory shred of support and "acceptance" they see. It's especially miserable when you think about how that's more or less the way real chasers operate too; exploiting our vulnerability for their own gratification and half the time getting thanked for it

Your average HalimedeMF post was something like "It's so sad that Trans suffers when she should be giving me dick. Dick specifically. Did I mention the dick?" and so many people responded like "Wow she actually thinks it's sad when Trans suffers? I need her so bad". Like girl this isn't someone you're meant to want around this is the caricature of someone to be laughed at and blocked.

And I know a lot of girls were just playing along with the bit but there was consistently a scary amount of sincerity to that sort of thing. Like seeing girls so desperate to feel wanted in any way that they develop positive feelings towards the shadow of an exploitative creep really reminds you of just how dire things are. Living under societal transmisogyny really does make you feel like a lower form of life; even scraps of decency seem like a privilege

[gojoidyll]

+18, smut, mdni, f!reader, etc.

pt 1

You weren’t used to the attention that John was giving you. Your past partners never caring or giving a damn. So to feel just how much careful attention he is giving your weeping pussy is making your core throb and ache. And when he started to pull his fingers out, it made you whine embarrassingly loud.

The sound made him chuckle as he got up and pulled you along.

“Where- where are we going?”

“To my bed.”

That was another thing that made you almost lose your footing. You were never important enough for a bed. The hard floor or the lumpy, uncomfortable couch was all your dates ever brought you to. In your mind, however, you wouldn’t have minded John’s couch as it was more comfortable than the others you had the displeasure of sitting on.

“Are you sure? What about the mess?”

You couldn’t hide the way your voice wobbled as he ushered you into his room, his foot kicking the door closed as his hands gently worked on your pants, helping you shrug them off along with your panties.

He quirked an eyebrow at you, amusement clear in his features. And when you felt your clothing start to pool at your feet, you found that you were only dressed in your shirt and bra. The cool air made your thighs clench together.

“If I’m going to fuck ya, sweet girl, then it’s going to be in my bed. But before that…,” his voice trailed off as he helped you out of your shirt and unclipped your bra, the articles of clothing joining your jeans and panties, “I said I was going to have you sit on my face next.”

Without getting undressed himself, he pulled you along towards his bed. His hand gently tugging you forward when he sat down on the edge of, you now wedged between his thighs as he rested his hands on your hips, his fingers tracing lazy circles as he kissed your stomach. The feeling of him peppering you with kisses made you squirm.

“Well?”

“H- huh?”

He chuckled at your cluelessness, but didn’t dare make fun of you for it, “though I said where I wanted you to sit, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

He leaned back, pushed himself to where he was laying face down whilst pulling you with. Your chest pressed hard against his as he let one of his hands trail and gently squeeze at the fat of your ass.

A part of you always wanted to try, but with your past partners hating the idea of giving you oral while also giving you a clear display of disgust, you sort of dropped the idea entirely.

But John is offering, isn’t he?

He isn’t the type of man to do something he doesn’t want to after all.

“Only if… you really want to,” you manage to say.

“That’s what I am asking you. Do you want to?”

You found yourself gripping at the front of his shirt, the way his fingers worked you open was still imprinted in your cunt, you really want to feel his tongue too.

“Yes, please.”

The moment the words left your mouth, he had you sit up so you were straddling his waist. You tried not to whine out too much when your wet cunt pressed down against his hardening bulge, and he didn’t give you enough time to feel him as he already got a strong hold of your hips again and gently dragging you up.

“You’re so nervous.”

You didn’t know where to put your hands as your bare pussy hovered just over his mouth. None of your previous partners ever really looked to hard at your slick, but John made a point to just analyze all of you.

“I- I can’t help it, I never did something like this before.”

He chuckled softly, his breath gently hitting your cunt making you squirm in his hold, “then I best ruin you for everyone else, huh?”

Not giving you any time to give back a retort, he planted you down, his grip strong as he easily held you in place as his tongue licked a long stripe between your folds. The sudden contact made you squeal as started to lap at you, his tongue not missing a single inch even as he toys with your fluttering hole. The tip of his tongue gently prodding before delving in.

The heat and feeling of his tongue was way different, and even better as he let one of his hands let go of your waist to trail downwards.

Your moans and gasps filled up the quiet bedroom accompanied by the wet sounds your pussy made against his tongue and fingers.

And you think between each flick of his tongue and pump of his fingers that he was right.

He was ruining you for everyone else… that is, if you even want anyone else after this.

[ivesambrose]

NOVEMBER 2024 MINI MESSAGES ❤️

1. 2. 3.

And we're in November and I feel everyone's a little overwhelmed, but I intend that you receive the guidance you need.

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at ivesambrose@gmail.com

Services offered

Reviews

Thanks for the tip!

Picture 1

You feel like you're struggling to make it up hill and maybe you're point blank exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally. The theme of this month for you to lighten the burden you've been carrying in hopes that someone will lighten it. That someone is you. This month also calls for physical rest. I will admit there might be moments you'll feel like you have a bunch of stuff to sort out that do leave you feeling tired but trust that yourself to prioritise you. Take care of your back health some of you. You may also feel a bit emotionally distant or just plain bored or even be deep in contemplation as though you're missing something. However, I see a burst of new ideas, insights or information or clarity that lets you leave that apathetic energy you had been previously feeling, behind. It's as though out of the blue, the path clears. This month brings a positive transition which means you have to leave something behind. But what you do leave behind, won't be a loss. November ends on a more emotionally fulfulling month than it started on. Now whatever fulfills you emotionally, is innately personal to you. Trust that you'll have it and even if you can't right now, know that things will fall in place anyway.

Picture 2

Don't often say this, but it's truly your month if you're the 'I'll channel every emotion in me into getting everything done and becoming the best.' and even if you're someone who believes that slow and steady will win the race, it's still your month. You'll be working diligently into improving an aspect or multiple aspects of your life or just working hard towards your goals. By this I mean that you'll show up, you'll be consistent and you will improve. You've always been good at this now you'll be better and eventually great. Expect the rewards of your labour, especially financially. Be as ambitions as you wish to be instead of diluting yourself. If you can mentally the paint the picture then you can have it. Just make sure to not overwork and overwhelm yourself. You will be attracting influential individuals but also people who have an addictive or controlling personality, stay wary of those and keep your boundaries intact. Bit by bit, all your efforts, the dominant thoughts you have, what you say to yourself and others, what you share, what you consume etc all of it will add up. This month ends with you feeling like "A brand new person" and yes, I am referencing the Tame Impala song.

Picture 3

Oh you're fired up this month to the point even you're amused by it. Either it's a sudden burst of energy you'll feel or an opportunity that will be presented to you. You'll also be feeling excited, eager, curious and creative. Lot of planning, lot of risk taking, like you've decided to put your foot down on regards to something and you will be rather defensive of it because I'm seeing maybe some people might want to project their own ideas or limitations onto you or downplay your enthusiasm and determination. Don't let that get to you. In fact, do not overwhelm yourself this month since there is a risk of feeling burnt out. Try not to be too hot headed either and also avoid shopping as therapy (not too much, you can treat yourself though!) I do see there will be someone warm, kind and empathetic towards you. Extremely loving and understanding. Have the same energy towards yourself and those who care for you. Keep your heart a little open too. This month will end on you over coming a rather low point of your life is what I'm sensing. There's a feeling of isolation and defeat that you'll be overcoming and stepping into a version of you that's passionate and wants to experience life to their fullest.

[rotationalsymmetry]

countries are really big (and the US is really big for a country), made up of many many people, so one person's worth of difference is small and hard to see. The smaller the scale you look at, the easier it will be to see the difference you make (if you want to make a difference and know that you are making a difference.) And there are a lot of differences that are worth making on smaller scales.

I came of age right in the face of 8 years of Republican presidency and a corresponding (post 9-11) cultural shift towards the conservative, it happens. There are arguments to be made that Trump is worse than Bush, and they are reasonable arguments, but they also tend to focus on conditions within the US and I am very concerned with the whole world, and Bush was very bad for the whole world. Trump isn't great for the whole world, but I'm not convinced he's worse. (Also some things sucked in the US too! This was the age of "that's so gay" and a corresponding rise in school bullying of kids perceived as gay (accurately or not.) Things got worse in the 2000's than they were in the 90's, in this regard, and got better after. (Mostly because a ton of people put in a small amount of work over long periods of time to make it better.) This is common, things change with time, often in up and down ways.

Good things happen during Republican presidencies and bad things happen during Democrat presidencies, the person who's president matters but is not the only thing that matters. It is one thing among many things: how the news presents things, how people talk about things to their friends and family, what's going on in local and state governments, what nonprofits and advocacy orgs are doing/pushing for, etc. I used to be really into advocating for more bike lanes; picking one local cause you really care about can go a long way to seeing when what you do makes a difference in the world. It doesn't have to be a group thing either if you don't want; I notice when benches in my neighborhood are missing the middle bar (anti-homeless architechture); that's going to be the work of one or a couple people doing things on their own.

I like the point about language! This was a little thing, but a few months ago I ran into a woman who was lost who only spoke Spanish, and I ...sort of speak Spanish, and I was able to get her to where she needed to go. These opportunities do come up now and then, and more often if you seek them out (eg offer to write Spanish translations for an activist group's website or email newsletter or fliers or social media page.) I also occasionally run into a serious first aid situation, so I recommend taking a basic first aid and CPR class, and keeping your certification current if you already have. (Extra important for people who can't easily afford hospital/ER/urgent care visits.) (A lot of these aren't explicitly political, but that's ok, about 90% of what people NEED is not explicitly political.) (Some things like naloxone and CPR training are things where normally you'd *expect* to not actually use them -- it's a precaution, like wearing a seat belt or a mask, it's not going to matter most of the time, but on the rare/unlikely occasion that it does matter, it matters a lot.)

5. Doing stuff and emotional management aren't entirely the same thing. It is good to do stuff because stuff needs to be done -- whether you need to regulate your feelings or not. If you need to regulate your feelings and either don't conveniently have something to DO or it's not enough or you just want a different way to regulate your feelings, there's journaling, cbt stuff, RAIN, EFT/tapping, talking to a friend, breathing exercises, and lots of other things.

hi, hopefully this isnt a stupid question -- this is only my second election i'm voting in, and i'm a little confused about results. is it actually confirmed that trump has won, or is it just almost certain based on the counted votes? bc i know that provisional ballots (like mine) probably arent immediately counted, and there was that thing about votes needing to be verified because of signatures, plus to my knowledge the electoral college doesnt vote til december? i'm probably just grasping at an infinitesimal chance of things not being shit, but also i do actually want to understand and google is not helping :( if you can't explain no worries, you just seem to be knowledgable & willing to answer questions haha

This is absolutely not a stupid question.

So everything is currently pointing at what is most likely, not at what is 100% certain, but it's like 99% certain. There are still votes being counted, but in the states where the election has been called it has been called either because enough of the ballots have been counted that the remaining count wouldn't change the results, or that the area is historically so strongly in favor of one party that it's exceptionally unlikely that they'd flip the other way (for example, they're still counting california's ballots but you're more likely to get struck by lightning five times today than california is to flip red in this election). The places that have not yet been called do not have enough electoral votes for Harris to win the election.

The electoral college is exceedingly unlikely to flip their votes against the state/district vote; "Faithless electors" is the term for members of the electoral college who would vote against the vote they are committed to for their region. It was something discussed in both the 2016 election and the 2020 election and flipping the electoral college without winning the election was the motivation behind J6. As shitty and bullshit as I think the electoral college is, if you're going to have one and you're going to have the rule of law, you can't hope for faithless electors because what you're hoping for at that point is that the people representing you are acting directly against the choice of the voters.

I want you to listen to me. I have been voting in presidential elections since 2004. Presidential elections always suck. Who the president is does matter, and does impact your life, but you genuinely do not have a ton of influence over that so you can't let it throw you into despair and inaction, because we should be active and political and protesting the wrongs of the world even if your favored political party wins. Vote in local elections, work with your local community, and if your local community sucks too, work with online communities to both give and get support.

Whenever something like this happens, people pass around the Mr. Rogers quote about looking to the helpers. I like that quote. I think it's good, I think it's hopeful, I think it helps! But I also think that sometimes it's even more effective if you look for how to help. Who are you the most scared for after this election? Who are you worried about in your community or among your friends? What can you do that might make their life easier? What can you do to protect people like that in your community? What don't you know that might make you better prepared to help them in the future?

One thing that I think is a fantastic way to prepare to help is to either begin or continue learning a language that you don't know. I am working hard on my Spanish because I live in California and there are a ton of Spanish speakers here who I might be able to help. Is it directly aiding anyone right at this second that I'm practicing conjugation? No. But it might help someone who is being harassed by a cop, or who is unhoused and needs help, or who is being abused by an employer at some point in the future, and I can get myself ready to help. Learn how to use naloxone and pick up up an inhaler; you might not need it now, but it'll make you ready to help someone who does need it. Order free covid tests every chance you get, even if you don't need them, because then you can give them out to people who do need them. Plan B has a multi-year shelf life. Pick some up so that you've got some on hand if someone needs it.

Maybe there's nothing you can do right at this exact second (though if you are able to donate to gender affirmation fundraisers, border kindness, abortion funds, bail funds, etc., you can absolutely do that), but you can get ready to help someone who will need you someday.

[moody-alcoholic]

Bonfire Night

Summary: Ghoap x f!reader established relationship, WC: 6k. All sorts of fireworks going off tonight ;) This is purely self-indulgent, bonfire night shenanigans.

CW: +18 content MDNI. Fireworks, PTSD, mentions of bombs, mentions of injures, description of injures, hurt/comfort, sex, fingering, PiV sex, shower sex, oral (M&F receiving), threesome, overuse of the word cock, reader can’t cook, not proof read/first draft.

AN: This one really got away from me so yeah...

Resources: Help for Heroes Combat Stress

The Missing Piece - Masterlist AO3 Stay safe and enjoy <3

“So what are we doing tomorrow?” You ask sitting down on the sofa between Simon and Johnny. They look confused, you look up at Johnny who’s eyes dart to Simon. 

“Tomorrow is..?”

“Bonfire night,” you say, frowning at them. Johnny smiles.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in the UK for bonfire night.” He says. 

“Not even as a kid?” 

“Scottish.” He says as a matter of fact, pointing at himself.

“King James was Scottish.” You tease, leaning back. 

“What do you want to do?” Simon asks.

“I don’t know, when I was a kid it was hot-dogs and jacket potatoes while watching fireworks in the garden.” 

“One year instead of burning a Guy Fawkes effigy's me and Chloe made stick figures of our exes and burned them.”  

“Then did you dance around the fire and chant curses?” Johnny teases. You kick him and he grabs your feet pulling your legs onto his thighs. 

“Well we’ll probably be able to see plenty of fireworks from the balcony.” Simon says.

“Or we can see if there are any bonfires nearby?” Johnny asks. You lean against Simon as he wraps his arm round you. 

“A nice night in sounds good, I’m not working. I don’t mind cooking.” You offer. 

“Hot-dogs and jacket potatoes?” Johnny asks raising an eyebrow. 

“With so many caramelised onions you’ll have a heart attack.” You say smiling. 

“Sounds like fun.” Johnny says stroking your leg. You hum smiling at him leaning against Simon’s chest as you turn your head to watch the TV. 

—----------—

You’re cooking for the first time in what feels like forever. It’s simple food, jacket potatoes and hot-dogs. The potato part is easy, stab them, wrap them and chuck them in the oven. For some reason though the caramelised onions are kicking your ass.

“I can help if you want?” Johnny asks from the table. You look up at him over the second pot you’ve used today. The other one is soaking in the sink with a layer of burnt onions in the bottom.

“I’m fine. I know what I’m doing.” You huff, looking back down at the onions as you put more butter in the pan. You hear Johnny chuckle as Simon comes into the doorway of the kitchen. 

“Need a hand?” He asks, you look over at him frowning. 

“I said I could do it.” You snap, he holds his hands up going down the step and over to Johnny. 

“Quick Si, she might throw a plate at you or something.” Johnny teases. Simon goes behind him wrapping his arms around his chest as Johnny tips his head. You frown at them, digging your eyes into Johnny. He just smiles, the cheeky grin he always has on his face. For some reason it irritates you and you pick up your glass of wine taking a sip.

“Why don’t you both go and watch the fireworks until I’ve finished.” You say trying to hide the irritation in your voice. You can tell from Johnny’s giggle you’re not doing well. Simon nods though patting Johnny on the shoulder before turning to head for the balcony door. 

“Good idea, c’mon Johnny.” Simon says opening the door. Johnny smiles following him out. The sky is being lit up with all different colours as fireworks explode over London. In the distance larger public displays dominate the skyline. 

Simon leads Johnny over to the outdoor sofa as he picks up one of the blankets and throws it over them both. Johnny leans against Simon his eyes fixed on the sky, Simon hums leaning back throwing his arm over Johnny’s shoulder.

There is no break in the pops and bangs across the sky, the smell of gunpowder is strong in the air, Simon can see other people watching from balcony's. Some of the explosions are louder then others sounding like they’re exploding right above them as shades of red light up the area. 

A particularly loud set of large fireworks go off just on the other side of the Thames. Simon watches them in awe.

“Did you see that Johnny?” Simon asks nudging him, Johnny’s head turns slightly but he doesn’t say anything. No chipper remark or witty comeback.

“Johnny?” Simon looks over at him his eyes wide, his body stiff, his knuckles white as he grips the blanket. 

“Soap?” Simon calls in a slightly harsher tone. Johnny’s head flicks to look at him almost instantly. 

“Fireworks are just colourful bombs ya know.” He says, Simon can see the distant look in his eyes. He straightens up picking Johnny’s hand up. 

“They call gunpowder lift powder in fireworks factories.” He continues, there’s a shakiness in his voice. Simon smiles squeezing his hand.

“Yeah? What else Johnny?” Simon encourages him, turning in so he can pull him further up his chest. 

“Well I learnt that from a guy I trained with. He used to work in a fireworks factory before joining the army.”  

“Pretty bombs huh.” Simon says squeezing his hand again looking out as more fireworks pop across the sky. 

“Yeah, not very convenient as bombs though. I mean could you imagine selling anything that powerful to civilians.” Johnny chuckles.

“Yeah, it would be chaos.” Simon replies. Fireworks explode closer to the apartment building, each one makes Johnny tense. 

“‘Member that training exercise we did once. The one where they filled the fake bombs with smoke?” Simon says pulling Johnny’s hand to his lips and kissing it.

“Yeah, I always forget how much that shite stings your eyes.” Johnny smiles looking over at Simon. 

“Remember Gaz, dropping his gas mask and having to drag him out?” 

“I remember him throwing his guts up.” Johnny chuckles, Simon smiles. Another explosion very close by. Simon watches Johnny's smile fade and his eyes widen. His grip on Simon’s hand tightens. 

“C’mon let’s go inside.” Simon says brushing his hand with his thumb. Johnny sighs.

“I’m fine.” He insists. Simon kisses his hand again.

“Give me another fact.” Simon says smiling.

“Did you know fireworks where created by accident?” Johnny says turning to look out the balcony. He scoots closer to Simon who can feel Johnny's heart pounding in his chest. 

“Oh yeah?” Simon says pulling him closer and kissing him on the top of his head. He watches as colourful explosions fill the sky.  

Smoke is swirling in the air like a thick fog. Simon hears some kids shouting, screaming as the sound of rockets shoot through the air. He cranes his head over the balcony to watch them dodging rockets they’re shooting at each other. He lets out a sigh leaning back as Johnny strokes his hand.

The door opens and you step out. 

“Hey, foods ready.” You say watching as Johnny shoots up throwing his arm round you as you take him to the kitchen. 

“Smells good lass, so you won the fight with the onions?” He says looking at all the toppings you have laid out. In the kitchen, with the cooked potatoes and hot-dogs in buns.

Johnny takes his time to complement everything you’ve made ignoring the mess you’ve created in the kitchen. You promise him you’ll clean it up later. He nudges you telling you not to bother. 

You all sit on the sofa, watching TV while you eat. It’s a Saturday night which means the TV is dominated with game shows and talent shows which Johnny and Simon spend no time giving their opinions on. 

You’re tired from all the cooking and after you finish your food you curl up on the sofa with your head in Simon’s lap while Johnny is sat on the floor between Simon's legs rubbing his belly. He must have eaten at least 4 jacket potatoes, mounted with cheese and beans. 

“That was amazing.” Johnny says reaching over for his beer. Simon chuckles his hand running down your back. It’s nice, your belly is full and you're feeling sleeping, looking out the windows to see the different colours still lighting up the sky.

“It was very lovely.” Simon says. You turn so you’re laid on your back your head resting on his thigh. He looks down smiling at you as one of his hands comes up to stroke your hair. You hum as his fingers massage your scalp.

“Thank you, I’m glad I finally won the fight with the onions.” You say. Simon chuckles looking down at you, his eyes glaze over, there’s a twinkle there though and you smile back at him. It’s nice his other hand coming up to map out your face, his thumb brushing over your lips. It makes a burn rise in your core. You did a good job and you made them happy, that makes you happy. 

“You did good.” Simon smiles looking down at you. You close your eyes humming as Simon’s hand lazily travels down your body to your waist. His thumb dips below your waistband. His hands are warm, making goosebumps rise on your soft skin.

You turn your head back to the TV while Johnny tips his head back leaning against the sofa. Simon’s free hand runs through Johnny’s hair, running his fingers up and down his mohawk. You listen to

Johnny talk about what's happening on the TV, a talent show or something. Simon’s hand runs across your stomach, up to your chest, his fingers brushing over your nipples, the feeling is jarring it makes you gasp and your head looks up at him. He smiles looking back down at you. 

His eyes still have that cheeky glint. Your breathing picks up he doesn’t stop, pinching them between his thumb and finger. You try not to squirm, you don’t want Johnny to feel left out, at least it feels like he doesn’t care for right now.

You swallow hard, your body warm and relaxed his hand working it’s way down from your breast back to your waist. Your hand stops him and you shake your head. He looks at you confused as you tip your head towards Johnny.

Simon laughs and it makes Johnny turn round, your head snaps at him your mouth hanging open your cheeks flushed red with Simon’s hand halfway in your pants. Johnny takes in the scene smiling before leaning forward and pressing his lips onto yours. 

You close your eyes letting him play with your tongue, you can taste the salt on his lips. You’re enjoying this, Simon’s hand works down into your PJ bottoms his fingers pushing through your folds to press against your clit. It makes you moan into Johnny’s mouth. He pulls away getting up onto his knees. 

“Christ, Si you desperate or something?” He says moving from between Simon’s legs to the end of the sofa. You’re not sure what he want’s to do but he looks at Simon and they do that thing where it’s like they’re mentally communicating. Simon shuffles and you sit up his hand leaving your pants you suddenly feel empty. Johnny giggles hooking his hands under your knees and pulling you to the edge of the sofa. 

“Johnny you were full.” You say but honestly you don’t really care, you just want to feel someone's hands on you. Johnny seems to understand gripping the waistband of your bottoms pulling them off with your underwear in on quick action. 

Now you’re definitely sure you know what he wants. You spread your legs for him, Simon turns to face you gripping the hem of your shirt and you raise your arms letting him pull your shirt off. You let them move around your body as Johnny buries his head between your thighs and Simon locks his lips onto a nipple.

All of a sudden your whole body is tingling, goosebumps rising all over your skin as your hand lands on Simon’s head. It’s like their working in sync, each lick of their tongues making you moan. 

You can’t tell which feels better and you don’t care, it all feels good. “Is this your way of saying thank you?” You ask, your breathing picking up. Simon pulls off your nipple chucking, he hums moving his mouth to your lips. His hand coming up to cup your breast. The kiss becoming sloppy as you try to focus on one thing at a time, as your breathing turns into panting. 

Johnny’s speed increases. Simon looks down at him running his hand through his mohawk. His eyes look up but his mouth doesn’t move, his shiny blue eyes, he’s moaning on you sending vibrations though your core.

“Good boy Johnny, you gonna make her feel good?” Simon says his voice low humming in his throat as he grips Johnny’s hair keeping him in place. The frantic sucking and licking you’d been enjoying stops.

Johnny nods and Simon loosens his grip on his hair and he goes back to running his tongue over your clit. It’s deep and long strokes, you don’t even realise Simon has gone back to your nipples until he nibbles on them making you gasp. 

You’re getting close your hand gripping Simon’s hair again. “Johnny.” You cry, your legs squeezing round his head. Johnny chuckles, the vibrations push you over the edge. You cry out cumming as Simon and Johnny ride you through the orgasm, there mouths not leaving you until you chuckle letting go of Simon’s hair as you try to normalise your breathing. 

“Holy crap.” You breathe as Simon and Johnny pull off of you. They look up at you smiling. “Definitely a good way to say thank you.”

“Any excuse for Johnny give you a good time.” Simon says laying back on the sofa next to you. You look over at him palming his cock bulging in his pants. You smile at him pulling your legs onto the sofa, you get on your hands and knees crawling over to Simon.

He can tell what you want as he leans back further on the sofa letting you reach down into his sweat pants pulling him out. You hear Johnny sigh as he runs his hand up your thighs. You smile at Simon pressing your thumb over the tip of his cock, he’s already wet with precum as you bring your lips down letting your tongue circle round the head before thrusting your mouth down.

You feel Johnny stand up but he keeps his hands on you. Then he climbs on the sofa behind you. His hand running down your hips squeezing your ass his thumbs spreading you apart. 

You’re too busy preoccupied with Simon not paying attention to Johnny, just enjoying the feel of his hands on your body. The next thing you know his cock is pressed against your entrance. You’re moaning around Simon’s cock, forcing yourself to take him all the way with each thrust.

Johnny presses into you and you pull your mouth off Simon moaning as you feel Johnny stretching you out. You tip your head letting your hand pleasure Simon, you look up at him as Johnny lets out a moan before thrusting himself all the way into you. 

“Christ Johnny,” you breathe as his hands grip your waist bouncing you on his cock. Simon’s hand reaches down to your clit which makes you clench around Johnny. Your mouth waters as you replace your hand on Simon with your mouth again. 

He hums, his fingers knocking against your clit with each buck of your hips. You’re focusing on Simon, taking him all the way, or at least as far as you can. He doesn’t seem to mind though his moans sending shivers down your spine. 

You’re propped up on one arm with the other hand wrapped round the base of Simon’s cock. Johnny’s breathing picks up and his moans become more frequent, his hips drive into you harder his cock rubbing past your g-spot with each thrust. It makes you speed up your strokes on Simon, pressing your thumb into the underside of his shaft.

“Easy Johnny.” Simon says his free hand resting on the back of your head forcing you to slow down.

“Sorry Si, she feels so good.” He grunts, his hands moving up from your hips to your back. He runs his hands to your shoulders squeezing them before speeding his pace up again. You moan round Simon’s cock which causes him to squeeze your hair again, letting out a moan as his head tips back. 

You’re going to cum, Simon's fingers on your clit and Johnny’s relentless pounding is too much. You clench round Johnny as he slows his thrusts, almost pulling all the way out before pressing back into you.

“You gonna cum love?” Johnny asks between breaths. Simon pushes your head all the way down on his cock and you gag your mouth filling with saliva. 

“Mm-humm,” you moan as Simon lets go of your hair, giving you full control to move your head how you want. You’re chasing your own orgasm as Simon’s fingers press faster on your clit. You’re not going to last longer. You clench round Johnny thrusting your mouth all the way down choking on Simon as you cum.

“Christ love-” Johnny cums too, Simon’s speed on your clit doesn’t slow as Johnny throbs inside you. His hands running up and down your back as you shiver. You pull your mouth off Simon looking up at him smiling. 

As Johnny pulls out you sit back on your knees as he wraps his arms round you squeezing you. You watch as Simon strokes himself and you break away from Johnny straddling over Simon. You reach down gripping his cock and guiding it into you.

Simon sighs his eyes glazing over, as you bounce on his his hands coming down to squeeze your ass. You lean forward pressing your forehead against his looking into his eyes. He lets you control the speed as you take it slower. Then your phone starts ringing. You look over at Johnny who picks it up. You groan when you see the name Amy on the screen. Its work. You sigh looking over at Simon.

“Need to take it?” He asks. 

“It’s work, they probably want me to come in.” You sigh dropping your head and stopping your movement. Now you’re just sat there with his cock inside you. The call ends and you wait a few seconds before it rings again immediately. 

“Crap.” You say letting frustration slip though. 

“I thought you weren't on call.” Johnny asks as he hands you your phone 

“I’m not but it’s A&E on bonfire night, and it’s the weekend.”

“Hey Amy.” You say answering it. Simon smiles at you, there’s a twinkle in his eye as he hums gripping your hips. 

“Hey, can you come in and help, we’re 4 short.” She says, you sigh but Simon starts thrusting his hips in you causes your words to catch in your throat. Johnny chuckles, his hands landing on your shoulders squeezing them.

“I’m kind of in the middle of something, is there no one else?” You ask, as Johnny’s hands work their way round to your nipples.

“I’ve tried everyone, most people have hit their overtime already.” She explains you can hear the desperation in her voice. You have to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from crying out. You pull the phone a way from your ear pressing it against your chest. 

“Simon-” you say quietly, he shushes you pressing a finger up to your lips. It feels good you can’t focus on the call tipping you head back and letting out a moan as Simon drives into you harder. Johnny's still playing with your nipples as one of Simon’s hands moves to your abdomen his thumb pressing on your clit.

You almost forget about the call, maybe this is their plan to fuck you so good you can’t work. You snap back to reality bringing the phone back up to your ear. 

“What time?” You ask her hoping she can’t hear the slur in your voice and the wet sounds of sex echoing through the flat.

“Now, until 8am?” She says, you hear another phone ringing in the back ground, and an alarm. You’re too blissed out to care.

“I’ll come,” you breathe down the phone clenching round Simon to stop yourself from actually coming.

“Thank you so much, you’re amazing honestly, we could really use your expertise-” You hum hanging the phone up and throwing it on the sofa as you fall back against Johnny who holds you while you cum, Simon throbs inside you. His fingers pressing into your skin.

“You going to work?” Johnny asks. You nod enjoying the feeling of his hands on you as you come down from the high. You open your eyes looking at Simon who pulls you against his chest kissing your neck. You hum enjoying the feeling before sighing and sitting up. 

“I’m sorry, It’s going to be 12 hours of blast and burn injures. They really could use my help.” You step up off Simon's lap, you can feel their cum dripping down your inner thighs as you walk over to the bathroom to clean yourself up. You really wish you didn’t have to go to work, maybe you could said you were drunk or something. You leave the bathroom heading into the bedroom as Johnny follows you in. 

“How long will you be gone for?” 

“Hopefully I can get off as early as possible. 12 hours max.” You sigh pulling on some underwear and a bra.

“Okay, let me drive you at least?” Simon says coming over to the bedroom as you pull your uniform on. You nod.

—----------—

You let out a sigh as you walk through the front door, the sun is up now turning the sky pink and red. You need a shower you’ve spent way too much time covered in blood and burnt flesh for a lifetime.

It almost reminded you of some of the hospitals you’ve worked at in war zones, people waking around with limbs barely hanging on. The burns are the worst, you can deal with the blood but the smell of burning flesh and muscle is something you think you’ll never quite get used to.

“Hey.” Simon calls behind you as you’re emptying your pockets. You pulled an unused tourniquet out and what seems like half a wards worth of pens and tape. You let out a sigh putting them down next to your keys.

“Rough night?” He asks, you finally look up at him and nod. 

“First time I felt like I was back on deployment. Screaming ward sisters have nothing on angry generals though.” You smile. He comes over to you wrapping his arm round your waist and pulling you up to his lips.

The kiss is soft and gentle something you needed after such a long night. You forget the fact you stink, you let the horrors of the shift wash off you as he pulls you up against him. You kiss him back almost needy, you needed this. He pulls away first his hand coming to brush your cheek.

“Shower? Then you can tell me all about how horrible the shift was.” You smile at him and kiss him back quickly.

“Where’s Johnny?” 

“He had a bit of a rough night. Turns out fireworks so close to home, not really his cup of tea.” 

“Shit, you should have called me. I could have come home, said it was a family emergency.” Simon chuckles.

“Thought you would be having fun arms deep in blown off limbs.” He says wrapping his arm round your shoulder following you to the bathroom. You chuckle as you open the bathroom door.

“Join me?” You invite him raising an eyebrow. He doesn’t hesitate following you into the room as you go to turn the shower on. 

“Let me.” He insists almost bullying you out the way so he can mess with the water. You let him stripping your clothes before coming up behind him running your hands up his shirt. He turns, a smile growing on his face as he sees you naked his hands coming up to your breasts. You hum as he brushes his fingers over your nipples.

You pull on the hem of his shirt, you want to take it off. He gets the idea stepping back and pulling his cloths off as you step into the shower. It’s hotter then you’re used to but you don’t mind it’s nice to get the grit out your hair letting the water soak through to your scalp.

Simon gets in behind you his hands on your hips pulling you back against him, his hands work their way up your body. His hands are soft and slow as she maps your curves with his fingers. He’s not as needy as Johnny, he likes to take his time. Touch you all over before he starts squeezing and flicking your nipples between his fingers. 

He hums into your neck as his hand travels, down your stomach his hands never leaving contact with your body. You relax against his chest as his tongue runs up your neck. His fingers press through your folds running up and down your clit. You can’t help moaning, your hips pressing further against him. 

You can feel his hard cock pressing against your lower back. You turn in his arms and he presses you further into the shower. The water is hot down your back, your feet ache from being on them so long. You reach up on your tip-toes and kiss him your hand running down his chest. 

You run your hand down his cock, your thumb brushing over the tip. Simon moans in your mouth before pulling away to look down at you. His thumb brushes over your lips as you continue to work your hand round him. He presses you back against the wall. His fingers are pressing up against your entrance as you rock your hips towards him. He chuckles and you grip his shoulders. 

“So perfect.” He hums, pressing his lips to yours. You sink into the kiss as his tongue runs against yours. It’s hot and needy as you wiggle your hips trying to force his fingers in you. He finally relents after what feels like minutes of teasing, pushes his thick fingers into you. You break from the kiss moaning as works them deeper into you, curling them up to hit the oh-so-sweet spot. 

“Simon-” You breathe clenching round his fingers as he controls the speed. His palm presses against your clit as you buck your hips up against him, his cock pressing up against your stomach.

“Feel good?” He asks his voice low almost being drowned out by the running water. You tip your head back panting as he drives you closer to the edge. The steam makes your head feel stuffy as you chase the feeling. Every time you clench around his fingers he speeds up making you gasp and moan into his neck.

“Yes, don’t stop.” You beg as you dig your nails into his shoulder. “Si-” It’s all you manage as you cum on his fingers biting your bottom lip as you moan. You don’t want to be too loud and wake Johnny. 

Simon rides you through the orgasm slowly pulling his fingers out. Your using the wall to support you as your hands fall down to grip his biceps. You look up at him his hair wet pressed against his forehead, you smile at him he smiles back.

You run your hand down his chest to his cock, you wish you could suck him off but there is no way enough room in the shower. At least you would be off your aching feet though. Your thumb knocks against his tip and he twitches in your hand. 

“How’s this going to work?” You ask looking up at him. He cheeky smile comes across his face.  

“Let me,” he says, you frown at him before his bends down hooking his arms under your thighs pressing you up against the wall. You let out a yelp as he holds you like you weigh nothing. You wrap your legs round his back as he slowly lowers you down to the right height. 

“You okay?” He asks moving one of his arms as you lock your hands round his head. Your fingers brushing through his wet hair. He nods and you feel him line himself up with your entrance. You patiently let him do what he needs to do as you hold onto him for dear life. As he slowly lowers you down on his cock it’s like it’s pressing all the air out your lungs.

“Relax,” he says moving his arm back to support you better. You don’t want to what if he slips, he’s holding you up against the wall. “C’mon, I got you, relax.” You sigh relenting and shifting your weight. 

“That’s it,” he says bucking his hips up into you. You moan out as he thrusts into you. You grip his hair, twirling it round in your fingers as he grips your ass pulling you up and down on his cock. You feel so full as you clench round him, he twitches inside you causing you to dip your head into his neck. 

“You feel so good,” you say pressing your lips on his neck. He hums as he bonces you up and down. You’re surprised he’s managing to hold you up as your body becomes slippy with the water. You don’t care though, he feels too good it’s making your head spin, your body relaxes into him your hands running up and down his neck, your head tipping back to hit the wall. 

“Last night wasn’t enough?” You ask panting into his hair. 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He says, you chuckle moving your hands to his cheeks and pulling his lips to yours. You kiss him deep and long chasing the orgasm building inside you.

“Gonna cum.” You say between kisses. 

“Yeah, cum for me. You deserve it.” He pants. You moan out calling his name as you cum your pussy spasming around him. He cums too with one final thrust pulsing inside you. Your head drops against his chest as he pulls out of you lowering you to the floor. 

Your legs feel like jelly and you have to keep holding on to him. He chuckles, turning you round and letting you rest up against his chest as he presses you back under the shower.

He takes his time to wash you, picking up a scrubber and lathering your body with some kind of orange smelling soap. You let him wash you and listen to him as he tells you how good you’ve been for them. How strong you are for working a horrible 12 hour shift, you're almost falling asleep in the shower accepting the praise. 

“I love you.” You say to Simon as he reaches over turning to shower off. 

“I love you too.” He says bringing your chin up and kissing you. 

He helps you dry even though you don’t need It your body feels heavy your limbs feeling like lead weights. You accept the help as he follows you into the bedroom so you can change into pyjamas. Johnny is still asleep snoring softly as you try to be as quiet as possible pulling on clean clothes. You pass Simon the towel, reaching up and pressing a kiss on his lips. 

“Get some rest I’ll wake you up later.” He whispers smiling. You nod heading over to the bed. You pull back the covers climbing in behind Johnny, pressing your chest against his back and wrapping your arm round him. He murmurs tipping his head back as you snuggle under the duvet. 

“Missed you.” He says sleepily grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips kissing it.

“Missed you too.” You say. Laying down into the pillows. He turns round in the bed, his eyes half open as he wraps his arm round you pulling you up against him. 

“How was your shift?” He asks yawning.

“Ugh, I’ll tell you later. I’m tired.” You say his yawn making you yawn too. He chuckles squeezing you tight against his chest. 

“Love you Johnny,” you whisper closing your eyes.

“Love you more.” He slurs his lips pressing against the top of your head.  

—----------—

“Hey love look what we got!” Johnny says enthusiastically coming over to you before you have time to react. You’re still rubbing sleep out your eyes as you walk over to him.

“Sparklers.” You smile as he thrusts the package in your hands.

“Yeah we thought since you missed the fireworks last night it would only be fair to save the sparklers for you.” He says, you look up at him smiling before wrapping your arms round him, hugging him. They didn’t have to do that. Johnny breaks away from the hug letting his hand drop to your waist pulling you over to the door. 

“Hey Simon, you coming?” You ask waving the sparklers at him in the kitchen. He nods picking up a lighter off the table. Johnny’s giddy with excitement bouncing out the door onto the balcony. It’s cold and you’re only in your pyjamas.

You should have got a coat but you’re too wrapped up in Johnny’s enthusiasm. He opens the package handing you a sparkler as Simon comes out onto the balcony. He hands you a jacket and you thank him before Johnny shoves a sparkler in his face. 

You pull the jacket on then hold the sparkler out so Simon can light it. You almost immediately start making circles in the air. You smile letting a chuckle come out spelling out your name in the air. You look over at Johnny who looks like he’s drawing spirals in the air.

You feel a warmth bubble inside you. It makes you think back to your childhood. Funny how such a simple activity can invoke such strong feelings of nostalgia. Simon lights his last moving away from Johnny. You take another step back. 

“Hey, lass.” Johnny calls, you look over at him as he draws a heart in the air. You chuckle copying him. Simon rolls his eyes, holding his out making swirls in the air. You watch as Johnny enthusiastically makes shapes, you smile leaning up against Simon. Fireworks are still going off sporadically but Johnny seems completely distracted. 

“I feel like Harry Potter.” He says at one point waving it around like its a wand. You laugh at him, Simon rolls his eyes. It’s nice being out here with them, you turn to look over the wall at the firworks flying across the sky. 

“Woah look at that one!” You call pointing with your sparkler. You turn to look at Simon and Johnny smiling back at you. Johnny’s sparkler dies out and he huffs throwing it on the floor. 

“Hey, maybe next year we can set our own off?” You smile. 

“I can make them!” Johnny shouts enthusiastically, looking at Simon who looks between you both. 

“That would be awesome, we can pick our own colours, we’ll have the best fireworks show in the area.” You say matching his enthusiasm throwing your spent sparkler on the floor and jumping into his arms.

“I don’t know if that’s strictly legal.” Simon says.

“You’re such a buzzkill LT.” 

“Yeah Simon, Johnny would make the best fireworks.” You chuckle. 

“Maybe, we can talk about it next year.” Simon says throwing his sparkler down. You smile at him letting Johnny throw his arm around you, pulling you against him. 

“It was a good bonfire night.” You say.

“You worked a 12 hour shift.” Johnny chuckles.

“It was a good shift. Let me tell you about all the burns I treated.” You nod. Simon smiles and turns to open the door back inside. 

“C’mon. It’s cold, lets order some food.” Simon says. Johnny follows in after him talking about what food he wants. You take a second to look back out at the fireworks still going off. It has been a good bonfire night, you smile and head inside. 

—----------—

[blueskittlesart]

Hello, I finished oot and loved it and so I started majora’s mask today, I’m not that far into it but I’m on the second day and it feels like I’m almost on the third but I don’t know and i feel like I wasted all my time wondering around getting myself acquainted with clock town and I am following a guide and it’s fun but I’m a little anxious about playing it since I’m bad at time management and hate being under a time limit, do you have any tips? And also if you fail to do something within 3 days in game, does your progress save or do you have to start all over again from scratch?

Also sorry for sending some of these, I know your not a guide and it may be a little weird, since your a art blog, sorry

hey! so first of all the point of the first 3-day cycle in majora's mask is that you can't really get anything done. you sort of need to "waste" that first cycle wandering around waiting for certain things to happen, so don't worry if you don't feel productive just yet!

in terms of being worried about the time limit, i understand it being anxiety-inducing but honestly in practice it's actually significantly MORE time than you need. also, after the first cycle you should be able to get a song (iirc it's from the scarecrow in the observatory? but i could be wrong) that will allow you to either slow down or speed up time, and slowing the timer every time you reset makes the rest of the game much easier! usually when I do that i end up with extra time at the end of my cycles.

as for what happens if you miss the time limit, yeah it's going to reset your progress. assume that basically anything you do in terms of dungeons or quests is going to be reset at the end of 3 days. Most of the dungeons are fairly easy to complete within the 3-day timer, but i recommend setting aside one full cycle for each dungeon and not trying to do anything else during that cycle, just in case. you also don't have to wait until the end of the 3 days to reset, you can play the song of time at any time, so if you mess up and feel like you'd rather just start over from the beginning of the cycle don't be afraid to do that! you also don't lose most of your inventory when you reset; you keep your masks and most other items, and you can keep your rupees if you use the bank.

[ladyloveandjustice]

And finally, the second and final part of this fic has arrived. It's long. So much longer than I thought it would be. God I got so carried away with the conversations and it took forever. Turned into a monster. But it's finally done. Again, not as funny as I'd like, but hopefully a little cute.

Thank you to @schrodingersauthorii for saying something in the comments to my post that inspired some of this second part!

Part 2

The atmosphere of the meet was a lot nicer than he expected. The other students were kind to him, many complementing them on his sports day performance. The team members and Coach Sakuragi were less, well, mean to each other than the team he’d briefly been part of, cheering each on rather than acting sullen when anyone outperformed them. The coach at his old school had always responded to any mistake with a torrent of frustrated criticism that made Natsume tremble in shame. But Sakuragi never acted disappointed or angry. She came off like she was giving friendly suggestions, and she pointed out what they were doing well at lot too. The team responded to her advice eagerly, rather than fearing her.

It was nice, and Natsume almost wished he was the kind of person who could be a part of this. But he knew himself too well. He’d feel terrible each time he missed out due to being sick or waylaid by yokai. And that would happen a lot. The nicer these people were, the worse he’d feel about letting them down. It didn’t matter if they were fine with it, he wouldn’t be. And to be honest, even if he liked his teammates, he didn’t like thinking about huge crowds watching him, he didn’t like the idea of watching other people cry in frustration when he beat them, any of it.

So when Sakuragi asked him if he wanted to do a practice run with the others, he agreed, all while planning to run much slower than usual. He’d explain to her after that the performance on sports day was a fluke, and he usually wasn’t that fast, and there was no way he’d be able to pull it off consistently. Sakuragi would hopefully stop wanting him to join the team, and even if she still asked him, she and the others wouldn’t feel bad when he turned her down.

He took a deep breath, as he stood at the starting line, closing his eyes and blocking the gaze of Sakuragi and the other students out. If he didn’t imagine a yokai was chasing him, running slower was pretty manageable, and he was experienced enough with doing it in phys ed that he knew he could pull it off without looking like he was holding back. It would be fine. He’d be fine.

He got himself into position, taking off when Coach blasted the whistle. He lagged way behind the others, while doing his best to look like he was really giving his all. It was going pretty well, he thought, until he looped around on the track and saw a yokai directly in his path.

It wasn’t a big one, not even coming up to Natsume’s knee. It was black, so it had blended in well with the track. It was sort of blobby and shapeless in form, like an inkstain, with beady eyes and a wiggly head.

Natsume’s heart raced and his mouth went dry. It might look small, but he knew better than anyone not to trust a yokai’s appearance. It could be dangerous. Was it here to get the Book of Friends, or was it trying to do something to the people here? It didn’t matter. He had to do something. He couldn’t just slow down, that would give it time to attack

Instead, he vaulted over the creature. His ankle twisted under him when he landed. He fell, knees and hands scraping the ground. He immediately sprang to his feet and ran as fast he could. He had to lead it away from everyone else.

His sneakers pounded on the rubber and intense vibrations raced through him with each step. It felt like his bones were shuddering. Somone was calling his name, but it was muffled and distant, everything was. He has no room in his brain for anything but his goal. I have to protect the people here. I have to protect the Book of Friends. He crossed the finish line and veered into the grass, ready to grab his bag and sprint out of school grounds. But he looked over his shoulder, he saw the blobby yokai hadn’t moved after him at all. It had simply flattened and spread out on the ground. It’s eyes were closed.

Was it…taking a nap?

Relief filled Natsume as he skidded to a stop. Yes, it was sleeping. Its breathing was even, and as sounds came back to him, he could hear some faint snoring. But he also heard something else, which was Coach Sakuragi screaming at him.

“NATSUME! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? WHY WOULD YOU RUN ON A SPRAINED ANKLE?” She shouted while running toward him.

Sprained…? Natsume looked down and saw his ankle was swelling. Suddenly, intense pain shot through his leg, his ankle folded under him, and crumpled. Sakuragi caught him under his arms before he could hit the ground. She lifted him up easily.

 Wow, she’s strong, Natsume thought dazedly. Bet I look pretty pathetic right now. He could see students had gathered around to stare at him, expressions worried or shocked. One girl called “Are you okay??”

“Y-yeah,” he said as his mind screamed in humiliation.

Sakuragi could have probably carried him, but thankfully she chose to simply pull his arm over shoulder. “Don’t stand on that ankle, keep it raised.” She commanded. She turned to the cluster of team members. “We need the chairs, the ice bag from the cooler, and the first aid kit. Go get them.”

The student’s responded quickly, three of them running off.

Soon they all came back with all the supplies, including two folding chairs. Sakuragi eased him into a chair. Natsume couldn’t help groaning in pain when a student propped up his leg on the chair in front of him, resting his ankle on a folded towel.

Natsume hated that he was disrupting the entire track meet and making so many people fuss over him, but he knew protesting would be ungrateful, so he softly thanked the other students instead. They smiled back at him.

Sakuragi placed the ice bag on his ankle. Natsume sighed in relief as the numbing cold broke through the pain.

 Sakuragi bent down to examine his foot. “It don’t think it’s broken, but you’re going to need to check it with a hospital. It’s badly sprained because of all the weight you put on it. Hopefully you didn’t tear the ligament completely.”

“A-a hospital?” Natsume’s stomach dropped. That was really going to worry Touko and Shigeru. He felt so stupid, putting them through all this because a harmless yokai was taking a nap.

Sakuragi straightened up and clapped her hands. “Okay, this isn’t a show, people. Give us some space and get back to practice.”

The team dispersed, and Sakuragi crossed her arms, frowning down at him. Natsume winced, thinking she was going to yell again. Instead, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath. “Natsume.” she said calmly. “I don’t understand what you were thinking. This was just a practice run. Your first one, too.  I’ve seen students try to run on injuries before, but this wasn’t even an actual race!”

Natsume’s looked at his ankle, which was rapidly turning purple, burning with shame. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“You don’t have to apologize. I just want to know what’s going on. Why did you run on that ankle?”

“I-I didn’t do it on purpose. It was just kind of…instinct?” Natsume said. He instantly realized that how weird that sounded, and so, apparently, did Sakuragi.

“Instinct?” Her frown deepened and her eyebrows drew together. “Your instinct is to keep running even when you’re hurt?”

“No, no, it’s not like that, I’m just used to—!” He snapped his mouth shut.

What was wrong with him? He was usually better at covering things up. He’d almost said he was used to having to run while injured. He’d twisted his ankle running from yokai plenty of times, and at some point he’d learned to just block out the pain until he got to safety. But obviously he couldn’t tell the coach that.  He desperately searched for another way to end the sentence, but before he could, the coach bent over, looking him directly in the eye.

“Natsume, you looked very frightened when that “instinct” kicked in. Like you were being chased down. Are you used to being chased? Is it something that happens a lot?”

Natsume’s blood froze. Did she know? Why? How? What was going on? His ankle was throbbing so badly now, it was hard to think the haze of pain. His breathing got faster, his ears buzzed… He had to say something, anything to throw her off…

 Sakuragi put her hand gently on his shoulder, “Natsume, you can tell me anything. Is it someone who goes to this school? Or even more than one person? Have they been hurting you? I know it’s scary to talk about it, but I promise I can help--”

Natsume’s shoulders slumped as relief flooded him. She’d was asking if people were chasing him. Obviously she’d meant people.  What was wrong with him? Sure, his ankle felt like it was being hit repeatedly with a giant hammer, but that was no excuse to lose his head.

Doing his best to come off as relaxed, he said “Oh, It’s not like that, Sensei, you don’t need to worry. People don’t chase me at all anymore.”

Sakuragi narrowed her eyes. “Anymore?”

He clearly should just stop talking forever. Maybe he’d sprained his brain along with his ankle.

Yes, he’d been chased by people, of course he had. And not just enthusiastic track coaches. He’d had to run away from plenty of classmates looking to teach the liar a lesson. Running from bullies was usually a lot easier than running from most yokai though, since people eventually tired out. He’d only been caught a few times.

At least this slip up didn’t put his secret in danger, it just made every inch of him cringe. He didn’t want to talk about any of this with her. But he had to make her understand everything was okay. Even if it meant embarrassing himself.

“Sensei, ever since I moved here, things have been so much better. People are so kind to me, my friends are amazing, the Fujiwaras are so warm and giving…” He ducked his head, unable to meet her eyes. “I feel like I belong here. Actually belong.  I’m happier than I ever thought I could be….”

Sakuragi was listening to him intently, and when he trailed off, she smiled at him. “I’m glad to hear that. Sorry for the interrogation.”

She took some bandages out of the first aid kit and started wrapping his ankle with a steady practiced hand. “It sounds running is really connected to some… difficult experiences for you. I’m a teacher who’s supposed to look out for you. I shouldn’t have pressured you to run. I should have considered your feelings. I apologize.”

“No no,, it’s not your fault Sensei, you’re honestly the nicest track coach I’ve ever—"

But his reassurance was cut off by a shout, “Natsume! What happened?!”

Natsume looked over his shoulder, and saw Nishimura, Tanuma, Taki, Kitamoto and Sasada all coming around the corner of school building

 What the heck are they doing here? His stomach dropped at the expressions of worry on their faces. Nishimura led the pack as they rushed toward him.

“How did you get hurt already?!” Nishimura exploded the second he was within talking range. “It’s been fifteen minutes since school let out! Fifteen! I bet you were doing some kind of crazy thing again, don’t you realize-?”

“Nishimura, calm down,” Kitamoto said, smacking him on the shoukder. “But seriously, Natsume, what happened?”

“I—"

“Did somebody trip you?” Sasada asked, fixing the scattered team members with a hawklike glare while they looked baffled in response.  “Are there bullies here?”

“No—”

“It’s not broken, is it?” Nishimura was wincing as the looked at the ankle. “It looks so swollen—”

“Guys!” Taki cut him off. “Why don’t we stop freaking out and let Natsume get a word in edgewise?”

“Well said. I know you’re worried, give him the chance to explain,” Sakuragi said in a slightly amused tone.

Nishimura, Sasada, and Kitamoro jolted, like they hadn’t noticed the teacher before.

“Sorry, Sensei,” Sasada said immediately, bowing her head,

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to yell at you, Natsume,” Nishimura mumbled.

Tanuma, who’d been quietly watching, stepped up and put his hand on Natsume’s shoulder. It was a timid, gentle touch, but Natsume could feel the weight of Tanuma’s concern through it. He smiled reassuringly at him, and then looked at the others.

“I just tripped, guys, that’s really all. I was doing a practice run and I stumbled and twisted my ankle. Though I uh, also…” He was going to freak them out if he told them he’d kept running on it, and he wasn’t sure how he’d explain it, but—

“He also bumped it a bit while I was guiding him to his chair,” Sakuragi cut him off, giving him a small smile. “That one was my fault.”

Natsume blinked at her, shocked she’d covered for him. She shook her head at him slightly as if to say ‘just this once’.

“See, Nishimura?” Kitamoto elbowed him. “You of all people can’t be mad at him for tripping!”

“Yeah…” Nishimura said sheepishly. “Sorry…”

“No, I’m really sorry for worrying you all,” Natsume said, guilt racing through him. “But, uh, what are you guys even doing here?

“We wanted to support you. The plan was just to meet you when you were done and walk home together,” Taki said gently.

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you before,” Tanuma squeezed Natsume’s shoulder slightly, looking bashful. “You just seemed kind of stressed about it, and I was a little… It was a last minute decision. I was thinking if you wanted to, we could even hang out at my place. I probably overstepped”.

‘It was one of those times his friend’s kindness and care filled him up so much he thought he would burst. Those times where he  wondered how he’d found people like them after all these years. When he ached to give them even a fragment of what they’re given him.

“No…” Natsume said, hoping he didn’t sound choked up, “No, I would have liked that, thanks.”

“That’s really sweet,” Sakuragi said with a grin, resuming with wrapping Natsume’s ankle. But then her grin dropped, and she looked at Nishimura questioningly. “Does he get hurt a lot?”

“Kind of. It’s all because he’s reckless, Sensei. He doesn’t think things through!”

“A lot of time he’s trying to help someone, though,” Tanuma said hastily. “It’s not his fault, really.”

 “You always go way too easy oh him, Tanuma. But yeah, he’ll do things like shove a girl out of the way when a bunch of heavy boxes are falling on her and get conked in the head. He’s too good a guy—"

“Come on, you’re embarrassing him,” Taki admonished, which immediately silenced Nishimura.

Sakuragi seemed to relax at this, and she finished up wrapping Natsume’s ankle. “Ok! Now, can one of you go fetch crutches from the nurse’s office?” Sakuragi took a key out of the first aid box and tossed at Nishimura, who caught it with a startled expression. Kitamoto went with him. Sasada looked around awkwardly, and then did a double take.

“Chiyo, what are you doing here?” Sasada’s hand immediately jumped to her hair, and she started twirling a lock around her finger.

The short-haired girl walked up, wiping her neck with a towel and flashing Sasada a crooked grin. “The track team lets me practice with them sometimes. Gotta train to beat you next time. What this I hear about you threatening everyone and calling them bullies?”

“I didn’t—”

“Oh, now I remember, Natsume, that’s your friend, no wonder you were all aggro!”  Chiyo waved at Natsume, who waved awkwardly back. “Sorry she’s so overprotective, man. She means well.”

“You—come on!” Sasada grabbed the other girl’s hand and dragged her away. Chiyo looked unreasonably happy about this.

Sakuragi had stepped away to chat with some other students too. Taki squatted next to Natsume and Tanuma leaned closer to him.

“Was there yokai trouble?” Tanuma whispered.

Natsume shook his head. “Not really. I basically overreacted. I saw a little yokai on the track, freaked out because I thought it was dangerous, and tripped. It’s harmless, though. It was just napping. I feel pretty stupid.”

“Did anyone notice anything?”

“Yeah, they noticed I was acting really weird. Especially Coach Sakuragi. She’s…intense.”

“Oh, I should have thought about that and warned you about that.” Taki sighed. “It’s really hard to keep a secret from her, especially if she thinks you’re struggling. Her heart’s in the right place, though.”

Natsume nodded. “I can tell. I feel bad that I worried her. I ended up saying some bizarre things while I was trying to throw her off. I think she thinks I’m traumatized from my childhood or something now.”

Tanuma cleared his throat and looked away. Taki studied her shoes carefully.

“Uh, what’s wrong?” Natsume asked, trying to figure out if he’s said anything strange.

“Nothing,” Taki said quickly. “Hey, what does the little yokai look like?”  She looked off in the wrong direction.

 “Oh, uh…kind of blob-like…” he squinted at the sleeping yokai, examining it more closely. “Oh wow, I couldn’t pick it out before but it has ears actually, Oh, they’re kind of shaped like cat ears…”

Takis gasped excitedly “Is it cute?”

“Uh���maybe ugly cute?”

“Then it’s cute,” Taki said firmly. “I wish I could see it.”

Natsume suddenly realized that it was probably for the best Taki couldn’t see yokai, otherwise she’d be terrorizing every weird looking little monster non-stop.

Tanuma looked around at the team members looping the track, as others chatted and laughed on the sidelines. “Were you having a good time with everyone? You know, before everything happened?”

“Yeah…it was nice. Everyone was really great. I feel bad I ruined things.”

“You didn’t—"

“We’re back!” Kitamoto and Nishimura arrived carrying the crutches.

A shock of pain went up Natsume’s leg like lightningn when Tanuma and Sakuragi eased him onto his crutches, but he gritted his teeth, refusing to cry out. He couldn’t worry everyone even more.

“Okay, you’re good to go now. But make sure your parents to get you checked at the hospital right away. I will be asking Ms. Fujiwara about that our weekly grocery store chats.”

Natsume nodded meekly, filled with dread at the thought of Touko’s panic and distress. At the same time, he noticed she’d called the Fujiwaras his parents…not foster parents or guardians…just parents. It kind of felt nice. Really nice.

Sasada was still talking with Chiyo, laughing and swatting at her playfully. She noticed that Natsume was up, and reluctantly pulled away, giving Chiyo’s hand a quick squeeze before she left.

Sakuragi smiled as Sasada rejoined the group, observing all of Natsume’s friends clustered around him. “Take care of him, all right?”

“Don’t worry, Sensei, we won’t let anything happen to him,” Nishimura said confidently.

“We’ve got his back!” Kitamoto assured her.

“He helps us a lot. It’s the least we can do.” Tanuma chimed in unexpectedly.

“Of course!” Sasada and Taki finished things off.

Natsume stared at the ground, hoping nobody could see the expression on his face. Taki patted him on the shoulder.

“You’re right, you do have good friends.” Sakuragi ruffled Natsume’s hair. “Do you need me to get you a ride home? Or can your parents come get you?”

“Oh, it’s fine, I can just walk.”

“You’re seriously going to try to hobble all the way to the Fujiwaras?” Taki said severely.

“Okay, maybe to the bus stop…”

“That’s not coming for another hour,” Sasada tapped her watch. “You can’t wait that long.”

“The Fujiwaras don’t have a car, right?” Nishimura said. “My parents have a car, and Mom should be home. I’ll call her to pick us up.” He pulled out his battered cellphone, glaring at it. “If I can ever get service in this stupid town…can’t believe I begged for a phone and it’s useless…”

“Nishimura, no, I don’t want to drag your Mom into this…” Natsume said in a panic. “I really can just—”

“Natsume.” Tanuma said quietly but firmly, holding out his arm in front of him before he could hobble away. Natsume’s voice died in his throat.

“My Mom would be mad at me if I didn’t call her about this” Nishimura held his phone high in the air, face screwed up in concentration.

“Oh yeah, that’s right, you get your nosiness from her,” Kitamoto said lightly.

“Man, shut up. Aha! I got some bars!”  And just like that, Nishimura was on the phone with his Mom, and Natsume could do nothing to protest it.

Sakuragi laughed and started to turn away. “Great, I’ll see you—"

“Sensei, wait,” Natsume called quickly.

 She stopped, looking at him questioningly.

“I just wanted I wanted to say, I did have fun here. And, well, I don’t think I can join the team but…would it be all right if I came here once in a while? Just to practice, or I could help with whatever… unless that’s…

Sakuragi’s face split into a huge grin. “Of course, Natsume! Just having someone like you to race against is a huge help! But are you sure you--?”

Natsume nodded. “I want to.”

“Well then, do your best to heal up and we’ll look forward to seeing you.”

Nishimura got off the phone. “Mom said to out front.”

Waving goodbye to Sakuragi, Natsume’s friends flanked him as he slowly made his way around the school building.

“I’m happy for you, Natsume,” Taki said.

“Yeah, that’s cool!” Kitamoto agreed.

Thanks,” Natsume said. “I’m sorry I ruined the plans to get snacks and hang out…but maybe we could do it another time? Touko would probably be okay with you all coming over.”

“Of course!”

They all busied themselves planning  the get-together until they reached the bench out front, though Nishimura was oddly quiet.

After Natsume sat down, his friends gave their well wishes and reminded him to check in with them after the hospital, before dispersing to walk home. Taki caught up with Sasada and as they walked away, Natsume heard her say “So you and that Chiyo girl, huh? Do I detect some romance?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Sasada said primly.

“Come on, it’s me. Come over to my place and tell me all about it.

“Fiiiine, if I must.”

Natsume laughed slightly. He looked over at Nishimura to see his reaction, but for once in his life, he didn’t seem interested in what Taki was doing. He was staring stonily into the distance.

“Nishimura, is something wrong--?”

“I’m sorry, Natsume,” he said abruptly, still not really looking at him.

“Huh? What are you sorry about?” He wondered if Nishimura was still feeling guilty about yelling earlier, and was prepared to reassure him, but—

“You’re hurt because of me.”

“What? What are you even talking about?” Natsume couldn’t help but laugh but stopped when Nishimura glared at him.

“It’s because of me. You don’tlike  running in front of people, I know that, but then you had to because I screwed up. And when you were talking to the coach, I could tell you were nervous, I could tell you didn’t want to go. And instead of returning the favor and helping you, I pushed you to do it anyway.” He put his head in his hands. “It was such shitty thing to do.”

“Nishimura, come on, you didn’t--

“I did. You were trying to say no, you can’t pretend you weren’t.” He dragged his hands down his face. “I just…got carried away because you were so cool when you won the race! And you’re kind of down on yourself sometimes,…so I thought maybe if you joined the track team, you’d see how amazing  what you can do is and people would see you’re…ugh, it was stupid.”

Natsume’s cheeks burned. “That’s.. it sounds like you were thinking of me, Nishimura, thank you—"

“No, don’t thank me!” Nishimura said fiercely. “I wasn’t considering your feelings at all, I just decided what I wanted for you without asking you.  I didn’t think things through. And God, I didn’t even think about injuries!”

Natsume stared at him in bafflement. “Why would you need to think about injuries? It’s not like I need special protection. I knew what I was getting into. People get hurt in sports all the time. It’s normal.”

“No, it’s different with you.” Nishimura slammed his hands down on knees, red blotches spreading on his face. “Because when you get hurt, you downplay it or try to hide it, and if you do that in track, it can mess you up for life!” Nishimura was talking faster and faster, the words just pouring out of his mouth “It’s dangerous because you act like it doesn’t matter, like you don’t matter, and you don’t get why we all care so much, and I know it’s because you’ve been through a lot and I don’t want to pry, but it makes me so---"

He stopped short, blanching. “Oh shit. I didn’t mean to say all that. U-uh, sorry, just forget it, It’s none of my business…”

A lump formed in Natsume’s throat as shame welled up, hot and bitter on his tongue. “No, I’m sorry, Nishimura,” he said hoarsely. “I didn’t realize you were thinking all that, that you were worried. I never wanted to—”

“Natsume, no, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. I know it’s not on purpose, I know it’s not your fault.” Nishimura pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is about me saying sorry, not you. I really am sorry. And I know you told Sakuragi you wanted to come back once in a while because you didn’t want to disappoint her, but you don’t have to go back there, I’ll talk to her—"

“You don’t have to talk to her.” Natsume swallowed his shame for now, determined to set things straight. “I liked the team. I really do want to come back.”

“You don’t have to pretend, I told you, don’t lie if you don’t have to—”

“Nishimura,” Natsume interjected gently, putting his hand on the other boy’s shoulder. Nishimura finally looked over at him, eyes downcast. “It made me really happy. When we won, and everyone was cheering, and I saw how excited you were…I don’t know. Running is just something I do sometimes, and I don’t think it’s special or particularly like it. But being able to help you was the first time I felt like it was something…more.” More than survival. More than something I’m forced to do.

“Really…?” Nishimura hesitated, looking disbelieving.

“Really. And I really am glad I came here. I enjoyed it, you know, until I tripped. But even then, everyone was nice and helped me. It made me want to come back.”

Nishimura stared at him for a while, expression unreadable. Then he sighed and leaned back. “Okay, well, good.” Natsume could see Nishimura’s shoulders slump as the tension drained out of him. “But I still pushed you. You don’t have to make excuses for me. I’m just sorry I did it and I won’t do it again.”

“Okay, apology accepted.”

Nishimura looked startled, like he’d expected Natsume to keep fighting him on this, then his face broke into a grin. “Thanks, man.”

“You don’t have to make excuses for me either. I’m sorry I’ve been stressing you guys out when I get hurt. I’ll stop hiding it or trying to downplay it. I mean, I do want all of you to understand I…” Natsume knew better than to say he was “used to it” now, so he searched around for a less alarming but still honest way to phrase it. “I have a high pain tolerance, so sometimes it really doesn’t seem like a big deal.”

“Dude, that doesn’t make me feel better.” He could tell from how Nishimura looked at him he’d heard the “I’m used to it” even though Natsume hadn’t said it out loud.

“No, I know. Look, from now on, I’ll admit when something hurts.” He looked down at his ankle, wincing. “Like my ankle really hurts right now. I don’t want to go to the hospital but I’m kind of looking forward to getting painkillers.” He looked over at Nishimura. “Did that work? Or did it just sound whiney?”

“Nah, you need to whine a little more, man.” Nishimura punched him lightly on the arm. “I’m telling you, it feels good. When I sprained my ankle a couple years ago, I whined to everyone I knew. That whine was weak. Try harder.”

“It’s…uh, agony. I…might die? Was that good.”

“You need to work on your delivery, but it’s a start.”

They both laughed. Just laughing soothed something in Natsume, his stomach unknotted, and his racing heartbeat slowed. His ankle even hurt a little less.

When the laughter settled, Natsume looked down, twisting his fingers in his lap. “Look, I know I… kind of lie and hide things as reflex a lot. But I’ve been trying to be more open with the people I care about.”

Nishimura shrugged. “It’s fine. I mean, Kitamoto and I aren’t that stupid, we know there’s something going on with you, but you can take as much time as you need. I know you must have your reasons.”

“Thanks.”

Nishimura chuckled suddenly, looking past Natsume.

“Uh oh, here comes your cat. He looks mad! It’s almost like he knows something happened.”

Nyanko-sensei was indeed stomping towards them, his eyes narrowed.

“Agh, I’m really in trouble this time,” Natsume said. Nyanko-sensei jumped into his lap, making sure to throw his heavy weight around as he landed. “Oof.”

“Oh, your troubles have just begun. Don’t forget Touko!” Nishimura said cheerfully.

“Like I could.”

“I wouldn’t use the “I could die” line on her, she might believe you.”

“Amazing advice, thank you.”

Nishimura smirked. “I’d tell you to run, but, you know.”

Mmm…” Natsume said, stroking Nyanko-sensei, who was making faint, irritated noises. “That’s okay. There are some things I don’t want to run away from”.

---

And that's that! f i n a l l y. I'll add it to the running post, make a post with the complete thing, add it to ao3 etc later!

Running the Gauntlet: A Natsume Yuujinchou fanfic (Part 1)

Part 1 of my fanfic based on the idea I had in this post about Natsume's running abilities making his life at school difficult that blew up.

Includes a couple silly footnotes!

Running the Gauntlet

“I wish Natsume wasn’t our anchor,” a classmate complained.

Natsume flinched. It’s not like I wanted to be, he thought glumly. He pretended he hadn’t heard, hunching over and tying this shoe. So many students and teachers milling around on the grass, waiting for the big event, whoever it was probably hadn’t noticed he was nearby.

But then, Nishimura’s response made him feel even worse.

“Man, shut up. You haven’t really seen Natsume run. He’s friggin’ fast. We’re lucky to have him.”

Natsume appreciated Nishimura standing up for him, but inwardly he was screaming at him to please stop talking about this.

Then Kitamoto chimed in, “Yeah, one of the first times we saw him outside of school, he basically dashed out of the woods at warp speed. So don’t be rude.”

He saw Kitamoto glance quickly at him, clearly aware might be in earshot.

“Fast? Come on you two, I know he’s your friend, but the guy is sickly. You’re expecting me to believe someone who collapses every other day is a good runner? I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, I’m just not counting on him to win this”. The classmate, who rarely spoke to Natsume, adjusted his glasses.

“You’ll see,” Nishimura said smugly.

Natsume groaned inwardly, straightening up.

He eyed the various students hanging out in different colored headbands, the boy handing out water bottles from the tent, and some teachers talking off to the side.  There was even a chattering crowd on the small set of bleachers. A crowd that included parents.

But worst of all was the looping black track, sizzling in the sun before him. He, Nishimura, and the rest who’d been chosen for the relay race would be lining up on it soon.

He hated Sports Day.

To be fair, this was his least hated sports day so far. He’d never actually experienced sports day while having friends before. When he was a kid, he could expect being pushed to the ground and mocked, or having classmates complaining loudly to teachers about being paired up with the liar. Best case scenario was he’d merely have to feel lonely as he was left out of class celebrations, watching parents and friends cheer others on when there was no one to cheer for him.

But this year he’d been able to cheer wildly for Taki during the bean bag toss, laugh at Tanuma as he was forced to dance awkwardly with the rest of his class during their group performance, and smile as Tanuma got some sweet revenge by beating him at the scavenger hunt. He’d gotten to high five Kitamoto and Nishimura after every victory, and even Sasada once.

So many parents being here was still a little intimidating, though. He kept expecting one of them to yell at him to get away from their kid, even though he knew it wasn’t like that anymore. The Fujiwaras hadn’t been able to come, as they had a relative’s wedding to attend today. Natsume hadn’t even told them today was sports day, because he didn’t want them to feel bad about it. He was also kind of relieved they couldn’t come, because he would have been even more nervous if they were watching.

Overall, it had been a good day. He was basically enjoying himself.

But there was no getting over the dread of his biggest obstacle yet—the relay race. He was really going to have to pay attention to his running. It was such a tough balance…he didn’t want to let down the class, but he also needed to think of…

“Natsume, are you okay?” He blinked, noticing Sasada was suddenly next to him. “You were spacing out a bit.”

“I’m fine! Actually, are you okay?” She looked pale, and she kept fiddling with her glasses. It was strange to see her without the usual air of confidence.

“I’m nervous,” she admitted. She’d been chosen for the relay race too, and was looking at the track with almost as much trepidation as he was.

“Sasada! Natsume!”  Nishimura ran forward before Natsume could reassure her. “It’s all up to us!”

“Yay,” Sasada said blandly.

“Whar’a wrong, Sasada?” Nishimura grinned smugly at her “Worried you’re gonna be the sports day cliché?”

“The…what?”

“You’ve seen it on TV, right? In anime and stuff? There’s always the one person who trips during the relay race. They scramble to their feet, tears in their eyes, and pass off their baton…” Nishimura imitated the gesture dramatically. “But don’t worry! You can trip all you want, I’m so fast it won’t matter! No need to be nervous!”

Sasada shook her head, putting her glasses back on. “You know what, your stupidity has calmed my nerves a bit, thank you,”

“Glad to be of service.”

---

Considering all that, Natsume wasn’t exactly surprised when Nishimura was the one who tripped.

Natsume winced when his friend went down, hoping he wasn’t hurt. It would be okay, right? Nishimura was so good-humored. This wasn’t a big deal or anything. He’d just laugh it off and…

Nishimura stumbled up, his knee bleeding, his face burning with shame. Natsume could see his eyes were brimming with tears. Of course he was devastated. Nishimura may act carefree, but he hated letting people down.

Natsume sighed.

Fine then.

“Nishimura!” He called out, offering his hand. “Don’t give up! I’ve got this!”

Nishimura’s face lit up instantly. He jogged as fast as he could and slammed the baton in Natsume’s hand. Natsume faced forward. The others had a massive head start, but that wasn’t enough to make him give up.

A yokai is chasing me, he told himself. A big one with sharp teeth.

And next thing he knew, he was crossing the finish line.

Cheers exploded around him as the other runners caught up, lagging after him. And then, suddenly, what seemed to be the entire class was rushing towards him. He had to resist the urge to put his hands up defensively.

Nishimura slammed into him from the side, embracing him. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was whooping and laughing. Heat spread up Natsume’s neck and face. It was the first time Nishimura had ever hugged him. Or cried so openly in front of him. He knew it was considered fine for guys to cry and hug only when it involved sports for some reason, but it was still a surprise.  He wasn’t used to that kind of intimacy. Not that it was bad. It was kind of nice.

 The rest of his class gathered around him, yelling things like “way to go” and “that was amazing!” Even Sasada, her face still red and sweaty from her run, was screaming her head off and jumping up and down. Kitamoto clapped Natsume on the back and soon several classmates followed suit. Natsume was sure a red handprint was permanently etched on his back now.

“Dude, I knew you were fast, but I didn’t know you were that fast!!” Nishimura yelled through his tears.

“Seriously, do you have a secret running regimen I don’t know about, or is it just natural talent?” Kitamoto said.

Natsume heard some more cheering explode behind him, and looked over his shoulder to see an uncharacteristically excited Tanuma waving at him from the other side of the track, “Congrats, Natsume!”

“Tanuma, you could at least… pretend to care… that our class lost,” said the boy Natsume had gone up against, still doubled over and panting.

“Sorry.”

There was loud whistle from the stands and Natsume saw it came from Taki. The girl next to her had covered her ears. Taki didn’t notice, and let out another impressively strong blast, waving at him. She removed her knuckles from her mouth and shouted “Woo, Natsume!”

Natsume was torn between being happy his friends supported him and so embarrassed he could die.

“I owe you an apology, Natsume,” said the boy with the glasses, whoever he was.

“Hell yeah you do!” Nishimura responded.

“Nishimura…” Kitamoto’s said scoldingly, his eyes flicking to Sasada.

“Ah…I’m sorry too, Sasada,” Nishimura said sincerely. “You really showed me.” (Sasada had been fast enough to give Nishimura a head start, as Natsume suspected she would be, she’d certainly caught up to him out of nowhere plenty of times in the early days of their relationship).

Sasada wasn’t listening, she was looking at a fit girl with short black hair from another class, who was also still panting from the race. “How about that, Chiyo!” she called over to her.

“You win this one, but I’ll get you next time, Jun! Just you wait!” Chiyo called with a matching huge grin and an excited look in her eyes. For some reason Sasada blushed delicately in response*.

“Okay, okay, give him some room to breathe,” Kitamoto said, shooing at the others. They all stepped back, though Nishimura remained by Natsume’s side. Natsume was grateful for Kitamoto, he was dizzy and overwhelmed. He’d had no idea races like this were such a big deal to people. He was more grateful than ever the Fujiwaras weren’t here to add on to all this.

“Look Natsume!” Sasada had finally torn her eyes away from the other girl and was pointing at the stands. “Even the track coach looks impressed!”

“No wonder, you’re faster than half her team,” Kitamoto said. “Bet she tries to recruit you!”

Natsume’s stomach dropped like a stone. Indeed, the track coach, a woman with short brown hair and sharp eyes, was looking at him with interest. This was exactly what he’d been afraid of. His personal hell had returned. Had winning a measly race been worth it?

Natsume looked over at Nishimura, who was still jumping up and down and hollering about how he was going to treat Kitamoto, Sasada and Natsume to some manju, not even minding when Kitamoto snarked at him about it how it must be a cold day in hell if the man who sponged off everyone was paying the tab for once. He flashed Natsume another ecstatic grin, and Natsume smiled back.

Yeah, it had been worth it.

--

Natsume had experienced a lot of reoccurring horrors, but the most annoying of them was being hounded by track coaches at every school he went to.

Apparently, spending most of his life running from yokai had made him faster than the average person. He’d been unaware of this until his first year of middle school. When it came time to run the track, Natsume had heard whispers around him, a couple of the kids placing bets on when he’d collapse. One boy had even smacked him on the shoulder and screamed “The liar’s gonna come in dead last!” in his ear.

Natsume hadn’t really done much racing against other kids on the playground, and he’d been sick during a lot of gym classes, so he’d also figured he’d struggle against the other kids. It had completely shocked everyone, himself included, when he blew past them all with ease. He’d reached the finish line only to find the other kids several feet behind him, panting and gawking.

The gym teacher’s eyes had gone wide, and he’d immediately started urging Natsume to join the track club. The man had even gone to Natsume’s current guardians about it.

His guardians had resented that he was getting attention while their real kid was an overlooked benchwarmer on the baseball team. They’d thrown lots of snide comments Natsume’s way. And…well, he hadn’t had a good time on the track team at all. When he’d inevitably had to move again after those same guardians got tired of him, leaving the track club behind had been the silver lining.

Upon transferring to a new school, he’d decided to keep his speed under wraps. But then a coach noticed him running when he was late for class one day and his troubles started all over again. At first he’d avoided the coach by coming up with excuses about responsibilities or detention or headaches, but eventually he was just reduced to hiding under the bleachers when he saw the man.

At another school, a coach tried to recruit him for her team SO aggressively he’d made the stupid mistake of running away when he saw her—and naturally, seeing how fast he could book it had just increased her interest.

So, when he was gathering up all the extra water bottles from the hydration station tent at end of the day, and saw the track coach approach him, his heart started pounding, He fought back his urge to bolt, even a flashbacks filled his brain.

“Natsume, right? I’m Sakuragi, if you don’t remember,” The woman had a wide, genuine smile. He’d only spoken to her a few times, but he was pretty sure she was Taki’s homeroom teacher. “You showed some impressive hustle today! Have you ever thought of joining the track team?”

Fortunately, Natsume had his excuses pre-prepared. “Oh wow, that’s such an honor, Sensei!” He said, continuing to gather up the water bottles while still maintaining polite eye contact. “But, you see, I get sick very easily, so joining a team is a bad idea. I’d just end up being absent a lot, and I’d let the team down.”

“That’s not a problem.” To his horror, the teacher bent down and started picking up the water bottles herself.

“You don’t have to trouble yourself—” He began quickly, but she cut him off, saying “ I’d never require you to come in when you’re not feeling well. You wouldn’t need to worry about calling out sick. We’re a fairly large team, so other students can easily sub in for you if you can’t make a race.”

What kind of laid back track team was this? Never mind, Natsume had a backup excuse. “Well, that’s great, but I’m also concerned about making trouble for my foster parents. It’s a lot to ask them, and I don’t want to put them out. I’d be around to help them less. They’d have to pay for expenses, like when overnight trips at the inn when we go to other towns, or shoes—”

“The school supplies the shoes and other essentials, and we can cover trip expenses if need be. Also, I chat with Ms. Fujiwara at the grocery store often, and she loves bragging about you. I can’t see her turning down a chance for you to develop your skills and enjoy some team spirit!”

Natsume looked down at his shoes, sure that he was tomato red right now. Touko bragged about him? What did he even do worth bragging about? “He only missed ten days of class this month”? “His grades were perfectly mediocre again”? “He hasn’t come home covered in dirt in a while”? “He made five whole friends in school, somehow?”*

Still, through his embarrassment, he felt a little warm inside. She was proud of him. It was a still a new feeling, and he wasn’t sure what to do with this strange, shy happiness.

“Natsume?” The coach’s voice snapped him back to reality. “Is there anything else bothering you, or would you like to come do a practice session with us? If you don’t like it, you don’t have to join. I’ll respect your decision.”

“I…” Natsume was searching for another excuse.  

 Nishimura jogged up. “Natsume, do you need any—" He noticed who Natsume was talking to and his eyes widened. “Oh, sorry to interrupt, Sensei! Natsume, are you being recruited? That’s so cool!”

“Ah, you were his teammate today, right?” Sakuragi smiled at Nishimura kindly.

Nishimura flushed a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, Natsume really saved me out there. He’s a dependable guy! And he’s a great runner!”

Nishimura flashed a grin at Natsume, who was wishing he had telepathy so he could tell him to stop. He tried to send a signal by shaking his head slightly, but Nishimura wasn’t looking now.

“Well, that definitely sounds like track team material,” Sakuragi said jovially. She turned to Natsume. “Looks like your friends vouch for you. But it’s up to you, Natsume. Would you mind just stopping by?”

Natsume couldn’t bring himself to directly say no to a teacher in the first place, and now Nishimura and his enthusiasm had been added to the mix. “I’ll give it a try,” he mumbled, forcing a smile.

“Great! Just come to the track after school tomorrow. I think you’ll find it’s a lot more fun than you’re thinking.”

Natsume kept the smile fixed on as they carried the water bottles back into school. When the coach departed and they came ouside again, he and Nishimura met Taki and Tanuma. As always, Nishimura immediately started blushing and fidgeting , but as always, Taki failed to notice.

“I saw you with Sakuragi-sensei!” she said with a smile. “Impressing her is a big feat, Natsume! And don’t worry, she’s really nice.” She put her hand on Natsume’s shoulder, and Nishimura let out a strangled squeak. “She won’t get mad at you, whatever you decide.”

“Are you okay?” Tanuma said softly. Clearly both he and Taki had noticed he wasn’t actually happy right now.

“I’m fine,” Natsume said, letting the fake smile drop away and replacing it with a shrug of his shoulders. “I’ll just check it out. No big deal.”

---

“I don’t get why you’re whining so much about it,” Nyanko-sensei said, trotting beside Natsume as he walked to school the next day. “It’s just one measly meeting. What’s so bad about this running team thing anyway?”

“The people who took care of me when I joined the track team the first time were really bothered by it. They didn’t like having to drive me places, or the attention I got—”

“The Fujiwara’s aren’t like that, so that’s a stupid excuse.”

“That’s true, but it’s more than that,” Natsume sighed. “Last time, I was constantly late or absent. A yokai would attack me or I’d get sick...”

“Wimp.”

“Shut up, Sensei. Anyway, whenever that happened, the coach yelled at me for flaking out. I let everyone down.”

“But this woman said it doesn’t matter if you’re sick and can’t come, right?”

“She says that now, but she might change her mind,” Natsume mumbled.

“You’re so gloomy,” Nyanko-sensei shook his head. “It’s annoying.”

“Look, even if what she says is true, my teammates probably won’t like me. They didn’t last time. And I just…I just hated the feeling of all those people looking at me.”

He’d struggled a bit with just the sports day crowd watching him, but being on a real team was a million times worse. All those people judging, all their hopes riding on him not messing up… He shivered, remembering the way his skin had crawled, the way his breathing turned funny, the way his hands had shook. All those eyes on him…the weight of their gaze had made him want to curl up so small they couldn’t see him anymore.

“And there’s the actual reason. You’re bad with other people and you get stage fright. Boring.” Sensei yawned. “Just get over it. You have yokai trying to eat you all the time, why’s this scary?’

“I’d rather deal with yokai than the track team,” Natsume said emphatically.

Nyanko-sensei scoffed.

“A couple years ago there was this coach who was always chasing after me to recruit me. I was running from her, trying to get off school grounds so she couldn’t follow me, but then I saw that there was this huge yokai on the path out of school. Big fangs, sharp teeth, claws, all that.  I’d have to double back to avoid it, and the coach would catch me. So… I took the better option, and I ran past the yokai.”

“Idiot. Did it attack you?”

“I took a swing at me and knocked me out. But because of that the teacher was reprimanded for making the sickly kid collapse and they threatened to fire her if she ever chased a student again. She stopped trying to ask me after that. So it all worked out.”

“I don’t understand humans,” Sensei sighed. “Anyway, I’m in favor of the track team. If it helps you run faster, that means less of you getting snatched by yokai and less work for me.”

“Stop being lazy and trying to skip out on your bodyguard duties, Sensei. Yokai shouldn’t be chasing me down in the first place, it’s your job to take care of them.”

“I’ve got my own life to live! Stop being so selfish!”

“I’m the selfish one?”

They bickered all the way to the school gate, and though Natsume would never admit it to Nyanko-sensei, it did make him feel a lot better.

---

Part 1 complete! Part 2 to come. This is probably about halfway there, if not more.

Footnotes:

*Yes, Sasada has a sports and academic rival yuri storyline in the background. Yes I'm being self indulgent. It's what she deserves. It probably won't come up much more, I just thought it would be funny. Sasada's having this whole romantic epic while Natsume's worrying about track.

*Touko has been bragging about how kind and helpful you are, Natsume, you dummy. And about the garden he made and how it was good it was and other things Natsume does really well he hasn't noticed. She's also probably noticed he's fast and relatively strong for his size, he's always fetching and carrying stuff for her, but Coach thought she was exaggerating. UNTIL NOW.

[glisten-inthedark]

STanon, I just rewatched Mike and El’s brief convo in the pizza place before Argyle interrupts them, and some thoughts:

El is the one who initiates physical contact and also brings up emotions by saying she missed Mike. but she hesitates when she says it, and to me it almost feels like there’s going to be a “but” following it; it doesn’t feel very light or relieved, but there’s a sort of heaviness to it?

Mike is visibly relieved though and I think it’s because of Will’s “she’ll always need you” statement and this serving as confirmation of that. he says he misses her too and it’s honestly the most relaxed and sincere he’s been around El all season.

and yet, this is what he says next:

“You know, the last few days, I...I've had to think about the last talk we had. You know, before the cops and...the whole world went to shit? I...I guess…I just…I dunno. I guess I just wanted to say that—“

that sure doesn’t sound like the lead up to an “I love you” to me. it sounds like the lead up to an apology.

and it also uses a tiny bit of the same wording that Mike uses in his convo with Will:

“Hey, also, about the last few days—“

“You don’t have to say anything. I-I was being a total jerk to El, I deserved it.”

“No, no, no, no you didn’t deserve anything.” (4 no’s, Michael???) “Listen, the truth is, the last year has been weird, you know? And I mean, Max and Lucas and Dustin, they’re great, they’re great, it’s just…it’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El, and, I dunno, maybe I feel like I lost you, or something. Does that make sense?”

Mike says he missed El in response to El saying she missed him, but Mike describes what missing Will has been like without being prompted. hmmmmm……..

(also once again Mike is the one making his and Will’s bond different and special from his bond with the rest of their friends)

Mike is given a chance in the narrative to bare a piece of his soul to Will while Will is looking at him. he is not given the same chance with El. his big speech is not only prompted by Will, and likely wouldn’t have even happened without said prompting, but it is done without him being face to face or alone with El like he was with Will. and the only chance we see him get to have exactly that is interrupted by Argyle, which the writers did on purpose. not only that, but we immediately move on to Will being sad, and he and Jonathan are the ones who get the emotional, sincere, face-to-face private heart-to-heart that Mike and Eleven were just denied. which, to me, tells us that Will’s feelings about this are more important right now.

it’s all just very very hmmmmmmmm

Hello again!

Oh do I have thoughts on this whole scenea

First, I love what you pointed out about El, you're completely right!

Secondly, I just have thoughts about people assuming Mike was about to proclaim he's everlasting love for El because let's see what he says that you so kindly provided for me (thanks btw).

“You know, the last few days, I...I've had to think about the last talk we had. You know, before the cops and...the whole world went to shit? I...I guess…I just…I dunno. I guess I just wanted to say that— I love you. Yes, and you were right say all of that".

So what, he guesses he wanted to say that he loved her or worse, he guesses that he loves her? He can't even be sure to tell her that? And somehow he miraculously finds the courage after a few hours and a shove from his platonic best buddy of forever and ever?

Really?

If that's supposed to preeced a love declaration it's the worst possible way of going about it.

And also this:

"No, no, no, no you didn’t deserve anything.” (4 no’s, Michael???) “Listen, the truth is, the last year has been weird, you know? And I mean, Max and Lucas and Dustin, they’re great, they’re great, it’s just…it’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El, and, I dunno, maybe I feel like I lost you, or something. Does that make sense?”

Two interesting things. I don't think it was you who pointed it out (and if it was I apologize lmao) but it's interesting how Mike at this point already knows that El was being bullied, harassed and that she was lying and yet he still says he was worrying too much about her.

Ir was it that he was worrying over something else entirely? Like not hurting her feelings?

And another thing, Mike had two chances of letting Will know that he did try to call but Will didn't pick up. He didn't waste the opportunity of calling Will out for not reaching out to him, and yet he stops at that?

Why didn't he tell Will: Oh and by the way, I did try to call you but you never picked up!

If there's nothing about what he feels about Will that has been driving him nuts why wouldn't he just say this and clear their misunderstanding? Instead, he throws things onto Will and never explains himself.

And I wonder fucking why.

[dusty-pistol]

Updated sona lore time woo!!!

Here is a look at its internal/skeletal structure to get a better idea of how it operates! (This is subject to change)

+ Yap session ahead!

>>: Its main thing is dimension hoppin. It uses its systems to basically "glitch" into different universes n stuff! Though, that's only if it needs to fix somethin in that universe or for certain... exceptions.

>>: It manages multiple different universes timelines to make sure everythin is as it should be. However, that means it can't interfere if a tragedy is supposed to happen. This aspect is heavily inspired by Across the Spiderverse if you couldn't tell.

>>: It can and will hunt down anomalies or anythin disruptin the timeline as that's part of what it's programed to do. (even though it's disruptin a timeline itself... I'm a hypocrite, I know)

>>: It uses Fusion Cores as its heart, which need to be switched out when the Core is empty. However, if it's plugged into an active power source, then the Fusion Cores are not needed. They operate as batteries, so to speak.

>>: It exudes heavy clouds of hot steam from the gaps in its joints and edges when it spends too much energy doin somethin. Such as if a fight goes on for too long or it gets exhausted. It will enter a temporary shutdown and either open its chest to get the built-up steam out or force it out through the gaps, as said before. This steam is extremely hot, and it will hurt you if you attempt to get close to it.

>>: It's saliva is acidic and can burn human flesh down to the muscle. It's even worse if the saliva manages to get deeper into the organs.

>>: It's "blood" works as a sort of oil that lubricates its inner workings. Keepin it all runnin smoothly and without fear of rust or build-up. It doesn't necessarily need that specific kind of oil, anythin with the same consistency works. So it can use regular black oil, and even human blood works. Which is a bit of an... issue when it's low.

>>: Speakin of bein low on necessities. If it's low on oil, fuel, anythin like that, it will actively seek out what it needs. The longer it goes without what's missin, the more it starts to shut down and enter a search mode. When it gets to that point, it's on energy savin mode, and it'll actively hunt for fuel. And nobody would miss one little criminal from some random universe, right?

>>: Its insides are extremely hot due to constantly runnin multiple programs through its systems daily. If its chest is open for maintenance, do not touch anythin unless you're wearin some sort of heat-resistant gloves or somethin. You will get burnt, and it won't be a little sear.

>>: Physically, it ain't really sensitive as it doesn't really have nerves. Its wires act as nerves, which are covered and secured. If you were to slice its arm, it would not feel it. Not unless you knicked a wire while doin so. Then it would hurt. That bein said, the most sensitive part on its entire body would be its fingertips, as that's where there are lots of little wires that project the All-Use Solver to use it. It doesn't like havin its hands touched for that reason.

>>: It's antlers are actually metal on the inside, and they work as antenna in a way. It can easily pick up signals with them.

>>: Despite its legs, forearms, head, and tail, resemblin a deer, it's all metal, wires, and circuits underneath. It uses a deer appearance to make others around it feel safer as deer are prey animals and seen as harmless. You'd feel safer around a deer than a skinless android, wouldn't you?

>>: That bein said, it can project interactive holograms onto itself to blend in to whatever universe it enters. For other's safety or its own. But if it projects a hologram for too long, it can start glitchin and fadin as it's exhaustin to do so.

More may be added eventually!!!

[purplebubblywitch]

Astarion's Journal

_____________________________________________

Hey everyone, Last time, I wrote a letter from Cazador's perspective. To better understand this letter, make sure to check out my first fanfiction. Letter from Cazador If you like it, please let me know I'm not sure if I should keep writing more. So, what do you think? ❤️ ____________________________________________ To Cazador, I can hardly believe I’m writing this letter, but here we are. After our fight, when I found your… well, let’s call it an oddly obsessive love letter, I was furious. I won’t lie. But Tav suggested I should respond. Not that Tav always has the smartest ideas, but at least Tav managed to lead us straight to you and ultimately, to your lifeless body. Tav thinks writing down my thoughts might help me heal faster, maybe even start a journal. Normally, I’d scoff, I’m not a 12-year-old nor, for that matter, Halsin. But honestly, if anyone in our group is the journaling type, I’d have bet on Wyll. He looks like the sort who’d dance his feelings out, probably looking like a spider in a fire while doing it. No one’s got the heart to tell him he’s a terrible dancer. I wanted to, but Lae’zel gave me a look that said everything. Anyway, back to the journal. Who even has time for one? We’re here to kill an Elder Brain, after all. But speaking of Halsin, Tav handed me his old journal since we couldn’t find a blank one, so I tore out some pages and claimed it. We found it in Grove, and he hasn’t missed it since. I’d call that a cheeky solution. He can go hug some trees if he’s feeling out of sorts. You should  have seen how well I can imitate him! But let’s get to the point, Cazador. Every time I say your name, Tav tells me I sound like a hissing cobra. Where was I? Ah, yes. your stupid letter. Let me start by saying this: I am not a victim. You were the victim, Cazador. You never managed to break free from your own twisted cycle. And even though every part of me despises you, I almost pity you. No one was there to help when we killed you, and no one will miss you. It’s as if you never existed. No power, no love…nothing. While I may have first manipulated people out of fear, they’re with me now by choice. They believe in me, especially Tav. It’s hard to believe, but they actually love me. That’s something you never had, not even at the end. And that’s why I’ll always be more than you ever were. I mean, I’m alive. I survived, and you’re dead. What more could I want? Well, besides killing this wretched Elder Brain. And I’ll admit, I savor the thought that, in your final moments, you were penning that ridiculous letter, thinking I’d come to you driven by fear as always. It’s a delightful thought, realizing just how much power I had over you. I have my body and my life back. And yes, you were right…I have trust issues, fair point, but I have all the time in the world to rebuild that trust. And I will trust again. By the way, boiling down Vellioth’s skull and stuffing his rules into his mouth? Hilarious. I briefly thought about what I could do to you, but I’ve decided you’re not worth any more of my energy. This letter will be the last thought I give you. I will heal, slowly. Sure, you’ll haunt my dreams, but time heals everything. Even if I could’ve done without your “special treatment,” it made me the person who’s ready to take down an Elder Brain. Now I have a reason to fight again. You were always driven by fear, you poor, pathetic thing. So, what can I say, darling? Rot in hell. Oh, and by the way, I drank your wine and sold your art. Your taste was always abysmal. Astarion P.S. Halsin just walked by and noticed his old journal. Said it looked “familiar.” I guess I’ll find somewhere else to write next time.

[arsonistbunny]

Ok so first of all - this is crazy that it was about 50/50 all the time. Sadly it shows how much Security Breach fucked up (I have watched the interview with Dawko - it's still sad that they don't do something to fix it (the story) up still). Like, I'm not gonna make a pool about it but there are probably as many people who think Vanessa has a twin when to me it's just when Glitchtrap takes control?

Now, what do I think about it? To me, he's not William.

From the beginning (Help Wanted), it's been intentionally unclear: is he William? It's a trickster, a malware for sure. But then somehow it seems that a lot of people missed that his keysmash talking is actually copying the tape girl's voice (thanks to an-archaic-archivist for showing me this video???). Which is the first hint that he is the mimic. But then from Dawko's interview, Scott speaks as if Glitchtrap & The Mimic are two different characters - which I really don't like the idea of because they have the exact same motives and capacities. Putting two different villains one after the other with the exact same characterization is.....not a good horse to bet on? It's confusing and unnecessary. (DISCLAIMER. When I talk FNAF, unless specified I'm only talking from a game point of view I am never talking about the books and I will not.)

But anyways!!! Here's my theory from when I tried to crack Glitchtrap!! :)

If you know me, you know I love Princess Quest Glitchtrap. It is a very particular form to give to a character that is a malware mimicking, isn't it? The Princess Quest games all depict floating rabbit heads as enemies, and in the end, you meet an amalgamation of them, with one head that is more aware and in control—Glitchtrap.

And, you know, to find answers you're just gonna go looking at the stuff you've already seen, already know, that might be similar in one way or another. I don't remember what exactly made me think about the Funtime Animatronics but that's where I went. The question of why Circus Baby is also Elizabeth but the others aren't.

When you get under the desk on Night 3, you hear Circus Baby talking and not Elizabeth. You can notice they're not always speaking as one. Circus Baby telling you how Elizabeth died: "I would always count the children– I’m not sure why. I was always acutely aware of how many there were in the room with me. [...] A little girl, standing by herself. I was no longer... myself, and I stopped singing. My stomach opened, and there was ice cream. I couldn’t move—at least, not until she stepped closer. There was screaming for a moment, but only for a moment. Then other children rushed in again, but they couldn’t hear her over the sounds of their own excitement. I still hear her sometimes. Why did that happen?"

Elizabeth as Baby in Pizza Sim: "You played right into our hands, did you really think that this job just fell out of the sky for you? No. This was a gift, for us. You gathered them all together in one place, just like he asked you to. All of those little souls, in one place, just for us, a gift. Now we can do what we were created to do, and be complete! I will make you proud daddy! Watch, listen, and be full."

But Funtime Freddy and the others don't do that. You know, it almost feels like... they're alive. Well that was the point, wasn't it? They're alive but stuck under their coding. Just like when Baby could not disobey the rule of counting the children. From Pizza Simulator we find out what exactly the SCOOPER is and with that, that the Funtimes were all brought to life with remnant, some sort of amalgamation of children's souls, to snap more children's souls.

In Circus Baby's case, 1. she was brought to life by remnant and with this many souls it seems that they all lose their consciousness to one the robot's coding, adopting the robot's coding as their personality. But then 2. when, she killed Elizabeth, this one went to haunt the robot creating a """two people one body kind of situation""", they're both aware as Circus Baby and Elizabeth.

And yeah, this makes me think a lot of Glitchtrap in that case. Because Glitchtrap might be just that. Remnant. An amalgamation of souls. But this one didn't get a robot to 'get their personality' so to speak. So they're dormant. Until they get awakened by being accidentally put into a VR game. They don't know who they are, or what they are. Their whole world is literally just FNAF games at this point. So they get to choose. They don't have a sense of right and wrong. They're choosing the most powerful figure in there: William. They mimic him. They don't realize what is wrong, they're proudly guiding the player on their own level (Pizza Party) to show them their crimes (William's crimes that they reclaimed as part of the mimicking).

They're in a game. When you die, you restart the level. Until Jeremy. They realize the beta testers can actually 'log out' and they have a way bigger world. So they want out. But those beta players get away and never come back (because he's dead). So they gotta step up the tricking game. So they mimic a voice.

And then it works! So they pretend to be Vanessa. They get to be Vanny. They order Vanessa around. And it fails! They get trapped and need to attract someone from the outside - they mimic Gregory. The plan almost succeeds. They mimic Roxy.

When I posted this piece, I saw some people with DID thought this was about DID, and I was not thinking of it, I was thinking of my theory - and I did say (afterwards or before can't find the post) that I'm honored my art gets interpreted in some ways I didn't think of it before. It's actually very nice but most importantly good for you. You deserve to feel linked to characters you like.

Anyways..Scott hit me up I have ideas I can share if you ever feel like you're stuck.

im curious, actually

(rb for a better reach pls)

[terramythos]

I Score FFXIV Fishing Titles (based on how fucking cool or fun they sound).

Note: I am NOT including titles that you can earn on any Disciple of the Hand job; this is only for titles you HAVE to be a fisher in order to earn. Also, sorry if I missed any of them LMAO.

FISHER NATION... there's way more fishing titles than I thought, so grab your rod and get ready to cast! 🎣🎣🎣

‘Of the Irresistible Lure’, from “I Caught That VIII”- Catch and record discovery of 1,460 unique fish.

6/10. I mean this one is OK, any title that can drop ‘Irresistible’ in there has something going for it. It’s just not a compelling title to me when there’s so much cooler sounding shit to pick from. And if you’ve gotten this title, you for sure have access to those cooler ones.

‘Master Fisher’, from “The One That Didn’t Get Away IV” - Catch 10,000 large-sized fish.

3/10. Come the fuck on, man. At least in the English-speaking client, everyone is going to be thinking about “Master Baiter” and missed opportunities. Even without that context this one is pretty boring. And considering how fishing mechanics work, how does catching 10k large fish imply mastery of any sort? That’s probably the most boring achievement to get in fishing.

‘Meadowcaster’, from “A Fisher’s Life for Me: La Noscea” - Obtain all five “Good Things Come to Those Who Bait: La Noscea” achievements.

8/10. This one is pretty good, and it’s one of the oldest fishing titles in the game. There’s two others that are very similar. The use of ‘caster’ for fishing is funny, but also applicable for the combat part of the game. Unfortunately this and the other two are a huge grindy pain in the ass to get. ‘Meadow’ is a little dull to me though.

‘Forestcaster’, from “A Fisher’s Life for Me: Black Shroud” - Obtain all five “Good Things Come to Those Who Bait: Black Shroud” achievements.

7/10. I don’t think “Forestcaster” rolls off the tongue as well as the other two achievements. Kind of boring if I’m being fully honest, but I’m sure there are characters who can use this title to great effect.

‘Desertcaster’, from “A Fisher’s Life for Me: Thanalan” - Obtain all five “Good Things Come to Those Who Bait: Thanalan” achievements.

10/10. This shit sounds so fucking cool to me, I might even actually get this title despite the grind. ‘Desert’ goes way harder than the other two from this achievement series, IMO.

‘Master Caster’, from “Go Big or Go Home IX” - Catch 100 different varieties of big fish in areas explored during A Realm Reborn, Heavensward, or Stormblood.

8/10. Master Fisher wishes it was this cool. The clever rhyme calls to mind FISHER NATION poetry, which helps this one a lot. The only reason it ranks so low is because….

‘Grandmaster Caster’, from “Go Big or Go Home IX” - Catch 204 different varieties of big fish in areas explored during A Realm Reborn, Heavensward, or Stormblood.

10/10. Automatically overshadows the previous entry, and for good reason: this one takes some real fuckin’ effort to get. I’m so happy to have finally gotten this title. It’s extremely funny to wear it when playing a ranged magical job. Also, ‘Grandmaster’ makes me feel like a chess champion or something.

‘Lord/Lady of Far Waters’, from “Go Big Far from Home V” - Catch 45 different varieties of big fish in areas explored during Shadowbringers.

11/10. God this one is so fucking cool we are hard-locked into this title for the forseeable future once I actually earn it (currently 43/45). I think this is my favorite fishing title? It’s so unique and powerful…. Nobody does it like her.

‘Big Fish’, from “No River Wide Enough” - Obtain the achievements “Go Big or Go Home XVI” and “Go Big Far From Home V”.

4/10. Can I be real with you. Whose idea was it to make the achievement for earning BOTH of its strong predecessors so fucking boring by comparison? This is definitely a flex title, but one I will not be wearing for more than like 20 seconds for some screenshots. This one gets points for reminding me of the movie of the same name, which was Pretty Good (TM).

‘Wavewalker’, from “Go Big Till the End” - Catch 40 different varieties of big fish in areas explored during Endwalker.

6/10. Listen, I get what this is going for. It’s a play on Endwalker. The thing is, Wavewalker just doesn’t evoke anything special to me. I think of regular surfing. I think of weird new-age crystal people projecting onto the astral plane, but in the most boring pseudoscientific way possible. I think about some kind of maneuver the audience might do during a concert. Just kind of mundane to me.

‘The Final Fish’, from “Fish Fear Me” - Obtain the achievements “No River Wide Enough” and “Go Big Till the End III.”

7/10. The sequel to ‘Big Fish’ sucks a little bit less, but it’s still not super special to me. I might wear this one a little longer when I get it. At least we have a play on Final Fantasy with this one. I would feel less boring wearing this one than some of the other entries on this list. To be honest I think "Fish Fear Me" would have been a cooler title instead of making that the achievement name.

‘Rod of the Firmament’, from “Skyward Rod III” - Earn 500,000 points toward your skyward score as a fisher.

8/10. You can make so many dick jokes with this one. A solid (heh) title, no notes, we appreciate this.

‘The Nest’s Own Fisher’, from “The Height of Angling” - As a fisher, submit 300 artisanal seafood items for the second phase of the Ishgardian restoration.

3/10. Man what is this even going for? The only real connection that comes to mind is a fishing bird or something. How do I use this? It gets a couple points for novelty since it’s unlike other fishing titles, but that’s it. Especially considering the next one does it better.

‘Featherfall’s Finest Fisher’, from “Fishers of a Feather” - As a fisher, submit 300 artisanal seafood items for the third phase of the Ishgardian restoration.

7/10. We’re getting somewhere with this one; we got the alliteration going, ‘Featherfall’ sounds cool as fuck. Probably not a title I’d use but it’s way more appealing than the previous.

‘The Risensung Fisher’, from “An Ode to Angling” - As a fisher, submit 300 artisanal seafood items for the fourth phase of the Ishgardian restoration.

5/10. Aaaand back down again. I know it’s a play on Dragonsong but “Risensung” just sounds awkward to me. It just does not work for me, too awkward and weird. But at least it’s better than the first of these.

‘World-class Troller’, from “On a Boat V” - Earn a cumulative total of 3,000,000 points while ocean fishing.

9/10. This title is perfect for silly little geese who do a little bit of trolling now and then. What kind of trolling? Well, that is simply for you to decide…. I knock off a point because this doesn’t scream ‘fishing title’ to me. But it IS a fun title nevertheless.

‘Ocean Fisher’, from “No More Fish in the Sea III” - Score at least 16,000 points during a single ocean fishing voyage on the Indigo route.

4/10. Yaaaawn. It’s giving ‘Master Fisher’ energy. At least this one makes me think of the ocean and not Master Baiting. But man what a generic title. Who gives a shit. Why would this be your pick ever?

‘Master of the Sea’, from “No More Fish in the Sea IV” - Score at least 20,000 points during a single ocean fishing voyage on the Indigo route.

9/10. WAY better than its predecessor. It’s not quite ‘Lord of Far Waters’ but it scratches a similar itch to me. There’s so many cool ways to use this one in terms of character, glam, etc. A strong pick for sure.

‘Doom of the Deep’, from “Near, Far, Wherever Fish Are III” - Score at least 16,000 points during a single ocean fishing voyage on the Ruby route.

10/10. Cool as FUCK. Very little can stand up to this one. The alliteration, etc… it’s so foreboding and badass. My only complaint is it’s a little too easy to get for such a cool title, IMO… but that doesn’t hurt it in the rankings.

‘Octopus Traveler’, from “What Did Octopodes Do to You?” - Earn the “Octopus Travelers” bonus during an ocean fishing voyage on the Indigo route.

8/10. Octopath Traveler gamers probably love this one. I guess it’s a little funny since that’s also a Square Enix property. I’m mostly giving it an 8 out of a sense of obligation considering. Also, octopodes are cool as fuck.

‘Shark Hunter’, from “What Did Sharks Do to You?” - Earn the “Certifiable Shark Hunters” bonus during an ocean fishing voyage on the Indigo route.

1/10. Shark hunting sucks IRL and I hate that this reminds me of that :( A sad title. Maybe you can make it work for a really elaborate Jaws cosplay but that’s stretching it.

‘Jellyfish Fanatic’, from “What Did Jellyfish Do to You?” - Earn the “Jelled Together” bonus during an ocean fishing voyage on the Indigo route.

6/10. This probably goes hard for jellyfish fans. IDK, I think jellyfish are fine, pretty cool organisms, but I wouldn’t personally consider myself a fanatic, so I don’t really get it.

‘Sea Dragoon’, from “What Did Seadragons Do to You?” - Earn the “Maritime Dragonslayers” bonus during an ocean fishing voyage on the Indigo route.

7/10. Big title if you’re a Dragoon main— it’s a fun pun and everything. But also I feel there are cooler Dragoon titles to pick from, even a cooler fishing one, so it’s a little mediocre. It’s fine, whatever.

‘Balloon Catcher’, from “What Did Balloons Do to You?” - Earn the “Balloon Catchers” bonus during an ocean fishing voyage on the Indigo route.

2/10. Balloon Catcher. Balloon Catcher? This is dire. This is bad. Keep this one away from me. Anti-cool if I’m being fully honest. Balloon Catcher… at least it’s not Shark Hunter, I suppose.

‘Deadliest Catcher’, from “What Did Crabs Do to You?” - Earn the “Crab Boat Crew” bonus during an ocean fishing voyage on the Indigo route.

8/10. Like, the title itself is fine, pretty good even, but it does not scream “fisher” to me in a way that matters. I know it’s a play on The Deadliest Catch, but it simply doesn’t wow me. It does score pretty high for general badassery.

‘Manta Maniac’, from “What Did Mantas Do to You?” - Earn the “Sticking it to the Manta” bonus during an ocean fishing voyage on the Indigo route.

7/10. This is super similar to Jellyfish Fanatic, but this gets an extra point for the alliteration. I also personally like manta rays more than jellyfish. Sorry, jellyfish fans.

‘Sea Comber’, from “What Did Shellfish Do to You?” - Earn the “Maximum Mussel” bonus during an ocean fishing voyage on the Ruby route.

2/10. Bro this suuuuucks. We’re fuckin’ combing? Inherently it’s not as bad as fucking ‘Balloon Catcher’, but it scores the same because HOW COULD YOU NOT DO A PLAY ON SHELLFISH/SELFISH FOR THIS. Fuck you. This sucks ass.

‘Squidzure Dragoon’, from “What Did Squid Do to You?” - Earn the “Squid Squadron” bonus during an ocean fishing voyage on the Ruby route.

9/10. Definitely the cooler Dragoon fishing title (it’s weird it happened twice). Absolutely brilliant pun, and it’s an iconic enough play on ‘Azure Dragoon’ that people will recognize it from the main story. No notes, great title.

‘Shrimp Mariner’, from “What Did Shrimp Do to You?” - Earn the “Shrimp Smorgasbord” bonus during an ocean fishing voyage on the Ruby route.

3/10. And back to the depths. What are we even going for here? This is stupid. There’s nothing cool about this. At least it’s a little more fishing related, I guess? I hate it less than the other 2s? Not a vote of confidence, I’ll say.

‘Otherworld Angler’, from “Live Long and Prospero” - Complete the quest “Morsel of the Deep.”

8/10. The poor man’s ‘Lord of Far Waters’. It’s a cool title and inherently provides the context behind it, which is impressive. It’s from Shadowbringers, after all. If you don’t have other cool fishing titles at your disposal, this is a pretty easy one to get. But as someone with cooler titles, this isn’t one I’ll be using.

‘Erudite Angler’, from “Sufficient Data” - Complete the quest “Pastures New.”

5/10. This is basically the Endwalker version of the previous title, and it doesn’t excite me. It’s just not as cool. I will say that this quest is basically the ‘this will negatively affect the trout population’ meme put into quest form. It’s hilarious and I recommend doing it. The title is just a mediocre reward for it.

‘Of Countless Catches’, from “Forever Fancy” - Complete the quest “An Odd Fish Odyssey.”

7/10. Love the alliteration on this one, which is the Dawntrail version of the previous two. I like that we angled away from Angler and into some new naming territory. To be honest, I think this should have been the title for the ‘Master Fisher’ achievement, but it is what it is.

‘The Ambitious Angler’, from “I Like Big Fish and I Cannot Lie” - Complete the quest “The Beast of Brewer’s Beacon.”

6/10. I didn’t even know this title existed??? I only found it scrolling through achievements. It’s just from a random ARR fishing side quest? Wild. Anyway this is fine. Maybe I’ll go get it. But there’s SO many cooler titles. This might be good for someone just starting their fishing journey.

[gyuluttony]

gonna do something somewhat out there and out of nowhere. i just finished kinktober on my like... main wg account so i've missed doing kpop wg so i'm coming back with... zb1 SDFJSDF gunwook been attacking me lately so he's going to be the one feeling it now.

All-in

This is a feederism fic and features weight gain and unintentional weight gain. Don't like, don't read.

There was a dreamy sort of sigh that left the table in the library and it took one paper flying to cause the source of it to make an annoyed expression. "Yah! Kim Gyuvin!" The warm tone of Gunwook sounded a little more frustrated than usual as his friend held his finger in front of his lips, to shush him.

"You can't be too loud in the library, Gunwook~" The teasing tone almost made him jump over the table to show him who could be louder of the two before he felt the pointed gazes of the students around them and buried his head in his textbook, muttering curses towards his friend who barely had enough mercy to add quietly, "Just because Matthew hyung is here doesn't mean you should neglect your work."

His long crush on the older friend of theirs was something that was practically known by everyone in their friend group. And something that he couldn't help but get embarrassed about everytime someone pointed it out. He wasn't that subtle about it... and it wasn't aided by the fact that Matthew tended to treat him nicer than his heart knew how to react with.

"Gyuvin, I swear if you don't stop talking about it when he's this close by, I-" The words that left Gunwook were growing more threatening by the moment before he heard a loud exclamation. "Oh, Gyuvinnie and Gunwookie!" It was always nice that Matthew didn't seem to care about the negative glances for the loud volume but he only belated realized, offering a small apology and a sweet smile that no one could stay mad at as he approached.

"O-oh, hyung! Good to see you." Gunwook was severely underprepared for the way that Matthew sat next to him and leaned on his shoulder while Gyuvin tried not to laugh.

"H-hi, hyung." Gyuvin imitated his stammer which got a death glare shot in his direction before Matthew spoke again, "I didn't know you guys were studying here... but I brought some snacks for Taerae since he said that he wanted some." Gunwook tried his best not to visibly deflate at the thought before the snacks were placed in front of him.

"Huh? What are you doing, hyung?" Matthew stuck his tongue out as he added, "No one said he needed to get them all. I bought a lot so you can just have the extra instead. I know how much you love to eat." There was a pat on his head from the older man and Gunwook did his best to not beam before opening the box. Gyuvin rolled his eyes from across the table, texting someone about what he was witnessing in front of him.

While he dug into the snacks and made conversation with Matthew there were some things that came to mind. Taerae was a little bit on the heavier side. Not fat but chunky was a good way to describe him. It only made his dimples and smiles cuter and nicer to hug, something that Matthew was incredibly fond of. He had believed that Matthew was someone who had a crush on Taerae for a very long time... so maybe that was what he was missing.

Gunwook was a good gym buddy for Matthew... but what if he wanted something that was a little bit softer. Was that the best way to capture his attention? With a renewed vigor, Gunwook ate the snacks that Matthew had brought even faster, surprising both of his company. "Hyung, do you have any more?"

Gyuvin wasn't unaware to the way that Matthew's face seemed to warm up as he stammered for a response for a moment before furiously texting Ricky. They had made a bet on when something would happen between them after all but he couldn't really afford it to happen now... he was going to lose the bet.

"All I have is the stuff for Taerae... how about..." Matthew bit his lip with a smile that he was failing to hide. "I bring these to him and we can head out for something to eat?" Gunwook's eyes brightened before Matthew nearly stumbled out to get the treats to Taerae. Gunwook began to pack his notes while Gyuvin looked at him, "Seriously?"

"You told me to stop staring... so I'm doing something about it." Considering how smart Gunwook is, it should have occurred to him that Matthew practically sprinted back to him so that they could head out to get food while Gyuvin was trying to ease up Ricky on the bet so he wouldn't owe him too much.

-

As he jumped in his dorm room, Gunwook felt his face burn, feeling the way that the flab jiggled, trying to squeeze every possible extra inch of himself into the pants that no longer fit into his frame. It was almost like a dam was broken that day.

He had stopped going to the gym as much with Matthew but he was seeing him just as much, if not more. They were always getting food since Matthew excused it as wanting to treat his dongsaeng. But, Gunwook didn't realize that not working out combined with Matthew's constant treats would have results this fast.

He'd already let out this pair of pants twice since upsizing and now, his belly was sticking out from his body, proud and bloated with fat. Or food considering that Matthew treated him most meals in a day. It was always nice when he insisted on Gunwook trying something new and he loved it.

It's not like the weight was solely tied to his prominent belly but it settled in his thighs and glutes which wasn't really aiding the pants situation. They clung tightly to the plump thighs as well as didn't even make halfway up his ass as he tried hopping into them again, hearing a faint tear of fabric and how much the fat on his body jiggled at the motion.

While looking at himself in the mirror, Gunwook's hand absentmindedly rubbed his belly as he felt his face flush. Matthew had been a lot more touchy with him recently. Either holding his love handles or even sneaking squeezes on his belly which always made him think he was on the right track to getting his attention. After all, him blowing up was for him as well.

But, there was an enjoyment he was getting out of it as well. Feeling the way that his body expanded, burst out of belts sometimes and even was starting to get stuck in booths at the restaurants they frequented... there was a bliss in this... he just wanted to do it properly with Matthew at his side and just like his appetite, it was insatiable. He was no longer content with just being friends.

There was a knock on his dorm door. They had already made plans to go out again and while he wasn't ready in the slightest, he knew that his outfit (or lack of since he didn't fit in the button down that couldn't even close or his pants) would get the answer he wanted.

Opening the door, he heard Matthew's voice. "Gunwookie~ Are... you..." The happy voice trailed off before he looked down at the gut that was staring straight at him as he swallowed dryly. "I'm up here, hyung." Matthew's gaze needed to be torn away from the plump mass before Gunwook smiled. "Wanna order in?"

The feeling of Matthew's muscular body crashing into him and jostling his belly enough that the buttons he managed to get closed break told him everything that he needed. He had went all-in and got the pay out that he wanted... and soon, he was sure that he'd need to upsize again anyways now that his boyfriend was showing him just how much he appreciated that excess on his body.

[thecoolerliauditore]

This is kinda hard to articulate, but i was thinking about scott and his teams throughout the seasons and team dynamics in general. and i just wanted to ask your thoughts on which players you think tend to 'take point' in their alliances over the seasons?

Also to preface this the last time i watched everybody’s series of the previous life seasons was like four months ago and this is all from memory, so like take it all with a grain of salt. Also also sorry for the block of text i won’t be hurt if you skim it lol

There are three main factors which I feel dictates whether a person assumes a leadership role or not: whether they naturally are inclined to act that way, who they’re teaming with, and how big the alliance is (partnership vs 3+). 

If it’s a partnership, it’s more likely the role is more evenly spread out between the two people (although it seems like the opposite is true for some people). It’s also sort of hard to determine where somebody falls if they’ve been alone or missing for a season or two (ie Scar or Lizzie). I feel like there’s something to note about how differently winners of previous series tend to play in future seasons, which thereby kinda alters whether they lead the convo or not. 

It does feel a bit arbitrary to try and isolate specific people who take up a leadership position because the vibe of the life series alliances are mostly a group of friends working together rather than an actual organized group, and members of the group tend to split up mid-episode, but I do feel like there are some people who noticeably conduits their alliances throughout the series. This does overlap a lot with cc territory since it has to do with where the natural dynamics of a group fall to.

Scott's alliances have mostly been partnerships, but even with that in mind, i've always felt like Scott tends to control the direction of where his typical group meetings flow. He likes to have control. In terms of partnerships, there really is big difference in whether he leads more if you look at Jimmy vs Cleo, or even with Martyn, at least from what I can remember. Martyn’s and Cleo’s partnerships are alike in a lot of ways, but I can’t help but also see them as distinctly different. 

If I had to put my finger on it, it felt like Scott stuck a lot more with Cleo throughout the episodes compared to Martyn. If I had to put my finger on the partnership where Scott feels the most ‘equal’ to his partner, it would probably be Cleo. Martyn is somebody who I think Scott also respects, but I always felt there was a degree of… distance? Scott’s and Martyn’s are really both clever/witty and smart at surviving, and they both Know that, so I felt like they always let each other act mostly independently, even with Martyn being really protective over Scott. Either way, with those two, there’s definitely more of a distribution of leadership compared to Jimmy, but in different flavors. 

Then, there’s Pearl, which… yeah. You Know. I’d feel a little like a peasant lecturing to a professor of physics about blackholes if I were to try and explain the Scott-Pearl dynamic to you. The difference between the dynamic between solely Scott-Pearl VS Scott-and-somebody-else-and-Pearl is something that I felt like could definitely be talked about. Overlapping a bit with that, the only group alliances Scott’s ever had are in Secret Life and Wild Life. It still does feel like he makes or suggests a lot of decisions for the group, but to a much lesser extent. Gem & the Scotts mostly had Gem make the major decisions, which I feel like was a bit predestined from the point they picked that name, but also because it was Gem’s first time in the series and he wanted to make sure she had fun. It feels weird to say Gem also has a bit of a strong personality, especially since she tends to handle any social situation first with niceness (except Pearl this season lol) , but I do feel like Gem always makes sure to have her voice heard out, especially among people she’s comfortably with. When she’s determined or unimpressed about something, she isn’t afraid to say it, which I feel like is also why she was able to take a leadership role so easily in Secret Life. Scott more acted like her evil advisor or something, but in the end, he was the one to make her kill him. I wonder if there’s a noticeable difference in how much Scott dictated parts of the Gem & the Scotts conversation before and after Gem ‘betrayed’ him? 

There’s also the layer of Scott being a winner, which means after Last Life, the way he plays the game is different from other players. I wish there were more winners so I could say this definitely, but after they’ve won, winners tend to take on an ‘advisor’ role in their alliances. If I had to extrapolate from what I’ve seen, Scott plays pretty much the same between Third Life/Last Life and Double Life/etc, but only in the early-mid episodes of each series. He’s still very much focused on surviving himself, but during the latter part of each series, you can tell it’s only so he can set up somebody else to win. I feel like he had more sway in the decisions in Gem & the Scotts compared to the GGGGimpluse (do. Do they have a name), and I’d say that, apart from the fact he’s in a group with more people making it that way, it’s because he’s also sorta deferring/sharing with Cleo. Kinda. To summarize, Scott takes point a lot in his alliances, a bit noticeably less so in 3+ groups.

Scott also probably has the best record for teaming with different people each season (Jimmy-Pearl-Cleo/Pearlkinda-Martyn-Gem/Impulse). If we’re going by official teaming, this season is the only actual season where he’s had duplicates. It does speak to his irl role of knowing So Many Dang people, which is actually why I was thinking about this in the first place — if the fact that Scott is the one who organizes a lot of people together for games is noticeable in the Life series, apart from the fact he’s good at manipulating and the overall social game.

The person who I feel like automatically assumes a leadership role the most out of everyone, even more than Scott, is definitely Grian. Throughout the seasons you can very much see he’s a Manager, starting each episode with a group meeting and dictating what the goals are for that day. You can definitely see this in the Southlands and the Bad Boys (Joel sometimes too), but it is noticeably toned down in Secret Life w/ Cleo and Etho. This is probably because of his comparatively less familiarity with both of them and the obvious heightened respect he has for Etho, but even despite all of that, there were also a few moments where he did dictate what the Roomies were gonna do. Regardless, in contrast to Scott, it seems he becomes more like a leader in larger groups. It didn’t really dawn on me before, but Grian’s only partnership alliance has really only been with Scar, unless you count Secret Soulmates with BigB. This lack of partnership alliances with other people is really interesting to me, especially since it feels like a lot of other people have had a couple different sole partnership alliances. However, it is tough to say how exactly Grian acts in partnerships because Scar has been his only partner. Scar is interesting because, if he is in an alliance, he tends to turn/need one or more of the people in his alliance into his ‘vetoer’ or facilitator. The dynamic a lot of the time is Scar proposes an off-the-walls idea while the other person/people modifies it or denies it. Who would you say is more of the leader — the person who proposes the ideas or the person who makes the final decision/veto on whether the alliance does it? It’s hard to say, and again arbitrary to strictly define the positions in the alliances as strictly leader/follower compared to partners, but I’d say the vetoer who facilitates Scar does come off as becoming the person who tends to take point in his group. You can see this with Cleo in the Family and sorta even with Joel. As such, Grian falling into this role of facilitator does partly have to do with that Scar effect. However, he definitely takes a big proactive approach to leading the partnership, like with making plans to help Scar kill people, which indicates he would do the same for partnerships with different people. Going back to that thing where I said previous winners tend to become advisors for other people after their win, Grian definitely doesn’t fall under that generalization. It’s probably also due to the fact he’s hasn’t made it as close to the end in future series compared to some of the other winners, so he’s never had really the choice on who he wants to support to win. Still, I can’t think of a time where he’s assumed a more supportive role for another player, always aiming to either get himself or all of his alliance to the end, and creating kinda crazy plans while he’s at it. Whereas winners Scott and Pearl tend to accept their deaths well, Grian dies fighting and screaming to reach the end (Not to say that Scott/Pearl don’t try to reach the end, but Grian feels a little more vicious about it compared to how Scott/Pearl are after their season.). This is probably due to Grian’s competitive nature and bringing entertainment to his series. Grian tends to continually team with people he’s already pretty close to (Scar-Mumbo/Martyn/Jimmy/BigB-Scarkinda/BigB-Joel/Jimmy-Etho/Cleo-Mumbo/Skizz). They’re pretty much all in the same group of people, with Secret Life probably being his biggest divergence from his usual circle. As said earlier, this probably makes him more comfortable to lead the people in his alliance, since his brand of leadership can be a bit jokingly-mean/demanding sometimes. In fact, you can kind of tell he gets quiet when he’s in a group of people he doesn’t really know.

uhhh this is getting too long so i’ll hold off on an entire paragraph for the entire cast but here’s quick thoughts: 

Cleo plays middle-ground with taking point a lot? She’s kinda like Scott in that you can tell a difference between her Etho/Scott/BigB and Scar/Bdubs alliances. Scar and Bdubs facilitator, while being on more ‘equal grounds’ with the former people. 

Pearlito is. Gosh. It’s interesting how the way she played the game is so starkly different from before she won is so different after. at least from what i remember when I watched her? How she acts in the Nosy Neighbors & the Mounders is just. Aaaaaaaaa. She also spent one her seasons as a ‘loner’, a status she earned alongside other people like Scar, Lizzie, and BigB. Obviously those people did have alliances with individual people, but none that was main. I definitely feel like when players spend one or more of their seasons alone, it kinda changes how they play and how they drive a conversation.

Martyn!!! Loves to act on his own, but does play a huge role in whatever alliance he’s in usually, probably cause he spends a lot of creative juices trying to make everything entertaining. Made a lot of rules in Southlands, right hand and planner for Ren, etc etc. 

Speaking of Lizzie, I wish she were in more seasons, but I noticed that it seemed like she was the one kinda took point and made goals in the BAM alliance. This might be her thing about I haven’t seen her Last Life series in a hot minute, but it makes me want to go back and check if she did the same thing for the Fairy Fort. 

Skizz also feels like a notable person who leads the group talks sometimes, like with BEST or TIES or even this season, with Grian even deferring to him to make goals during the group meetings sometimes. In fact, I’d probably put him on the same level as Scott/Grian. Skizz's brand of leadership is very distinct to me, he does it in a way where it's obvious he must have had to take a lot of company leadership seminars in the past. 

I feel like Bdubs tends to... not quite lead, but moreover set a lot of the dynamic for a group he's in? It's strange. Like this season with the Tuff Guys, or with Last Life, his inflated personality and jokes guide a lot of the actual alliance discussions.

Etho and Tango are in groups of lot, but tend to do their own thing or listen to other people. (Tango/Cleo alliance save me… that like five minute alliance they had and never brought up again…). When Etho does talk, though, people are really likely to listen to him. 

Impulse… my brain isn’t working to Articulate, but his history of playing multiple sides and mostly taking a listener role during group discussion. 

Insert all the other players here, running outta brain room but i’m feral about all of them

i also can't claim to be a pearlboy or scottgirl or really be a super analyzer or any of them, so i'm really sorry if i mischaracterized somebody's favorite lil guy

Anyhow yeah. Sorry for the incoherentness i just love thinking about the general trends and patterns these guys fall into. What do you think? Who do you think naturally gravitates towards being a leader in their alliances, and why? It also makes me wonder how players like Grian and Scott would work together if they were in a strict partnership alliance. 

I don't really know what to add I think this is just a rlly good post. I almost feel a little bad posting this like I'm stealing your good take for myself rn but this is good this is good

(also please don't feel threatened by my supposed knowledge on scott/pearl or ethubs or any other character or ship for that matter. My view often fluctuates with rewatches as new context is added, I read my own old writing and think to myself "this guy is insane" all the time. And by my own admission it's been a long time since I've watched LL despite that being my favourite season and where a lot of my takes form. I'd also feel like the number one hypocrite in the world if someone told me what they saw in a ship and I went nuh uh incorrect buzzer when like a good quarter of my posts are analysing analysis and interpretation as concepts in this fandom in of themselves)

Actually I lied I do have stuff to add. Although this is literally like. already a really good post just on its own this is more for flavour

Right on with Grian's leadership-oriented personality, I think it's really cool how that's literally the thing Skizz applauds him on in LimL with affirmation station.

There's several things interesting to me about that scene, mostly in regard to Skizz's surprising social awareness and ability to read people, but also the fact that it's one of the few (if not only? Someone fact check me) Skizz affirmations that gets cut in the receiver's POV.

Which I think, following meta analysis rules, implies some fun things! From my perspective, it's implications are:

Grian's just a dick and didn't really care about Skizz's affirmation, it just wasn't important enough to him to show up in his POV.

Grian didn't feel deserving of the affirmation, which I think would go very well with how all of the people he leads (Scar included) tend to go towards disaster sooner or later.

Evil option which I will talk more about with other characters. Grian might have complicated feelings about the position of "leader" because while leaders are respected, they are also more visible and therefore vulnerable to becoming a target.

That third one leading to my next point about how I think it's interesting with Scott/Martyn how they are both people who could in theory be very effective leaders and seem to want power/control yet shy away from those roles. You're so right about Scott being Gem's evil advisor he's definitely the more subtle out of the two in terms of putting himself in control, whereas Martyn is pretty much always a little bit blatant with wanting to lead and protect his teammates but never actually adopts a "leader" role. He actually more co-leads than anything else with the bigger groups he's been in, with Ren in 3L and Grian in LL which is fun especially when you consider his complete lack of loyalty in either. The one person both seem completely comfortable holding power over is Jimmy which I think is. Fun.

To make yourself a leader is to make yourself a target, and I think both Scott and Martyn are smart enough to know that and manipulate it to fit their needs. As such they both adopt "puppet leaders" (Gem for Scott and Ren for Martyn) to give themselves to while finding ways to pull strings. I think that's what made their duo work so well, they both understand what the other one is about with this whole "alliance" business.

I think there also might be something really fun you could get from this when considering Ren and Lizzie's dynamic the next season, but like you anon I haven't watched the Fairy Fort POV in awhile and don't really feel confident saying anything. However I do remember Ren being the one who establishes the Shadow Alliance through his bond with Martyn, as well as the one who comes up with the whole "Queen of Shadows" thing, so take that as you will.

But people who pursue leadership in this setting aren't just stupid or naive, it takes a certain level of courage and confidence and mayhaps belief in your allies to be able to do that. Something that someone like Gem is perfect for, since she pretty much hits all the notes.

Skizz is what you get, I think, when you have the confidence and the love and trust in your teammates, but not the ability to hold onto your own authority (or even see that your teammates are disregarding it). BEST you lovely, lovely mess you. TIES is pretty much BEST but more stable but even then I don't think TIES so much respected Skizz as authority as much as they saw him as a friend who needed to be protected. With every season he seems to become more and more aware that he isn't taken seriously, I know he dropped it almost immediately but his "no more mr nice guy!" routine at the start of WL reads as acknowledgement of that to me.

I think you could make an alignment chart out of this. But just off the top of my head:

players who are happy to play leader:

Ren

Lizzie

Skizz

Gem

Grian who will act as leader, but avoid gaining a reputation for it

Cleo kind of falls somewhere around here too with the mother clocker stuff, I don't think she really thinks of herself as a leader though.

players who are shrewd enough to avoid the risk of being leader, but still want some level of control:

Martyn

Scott

Bdubs kindaaa? I haven't quite figured out what his deal is in WL yet, but I think he's aware Tango and Etho won't take him seriously as leader and he also literally said their alliance operated by every man for himself, so I don't really take his assertions of leadership seriously. Either way he is more manipulative than most people realize and I think if you wanted to bring HC into this, his thing with Mayor Scar and King Ren is pretty much as evil advisor as you can get.

players who are shrewd enough to avoid leadership But Also don't really desire control of their teams as a whole, they value their own survival as individuals more and while they don't necessarily see their teams as expendable, they're playing with the idea that they're gonna disband or leave eventually in mind:

Etho

Impulse

Bigb kinda because he really just seems to want to vibe but keeps getting pulled into these big ass alliances

players who don't really go in with any agenda and usually just end up being followers:

Jimmy (<- kind of complicated because he's frustrated about the Ecosystem and Will backstab his teammates if he's desperate but at the same time it's not because he's manipulative it's because he's desperate)

Tango

Mumbo

wild cards

Pearl, who you already summed up very well. She very much would rather vibe before DL, and after DL seems more willing to be a sword than a companion for whoever her chosen guy is. I think you could say more about Pearl's sense of agency here but. Yeah weird girl.

Joel, who is actually very passionate and loyal to his teammates, but will also maul Jimmy to death when he gets mad. He's also had like. No friends so this is harder to judge. I will say he kind of took on leadership amongst the reds in LL though, with Lizzie acting as his Martyn.

Scar. Who is Scar

Anyway. interesting interesting. group dynamics yay

[eruden-writes]

Intentions - Part 3 (alien x human)

Summary: In the future, humans are nearly universal surrogates and Earth has taken to profiting off the ability. However, while humans can intermix with aliens, it doesn’t mean it’s without complications.

When Taliyra signed up to be a Companion to an alien, she had expectations. Mainly a lot of sex in an attempt to conceive an alien baby. What she didn’t expect was her counterpart to be so distant and - for lack of a better term - relatively hands off. For all intents and purposes, Khravel seems completely disinterested in her and will not hold a discussion to explain why.

After four months of this behavior, she’s had enough. Confronting Khravel, she gives him an ultimatum: either he sits down and talks with her about what the problem is or she’s going back to Proxypanion and requesting a transfer.

---

First - Previous

---

Taking another deep breath, Khravel pushed off from the wall and made his way back to his quarters. He tried to turn his mind toward his work; political machinations, moving finances, potential hiccups in the day-to-day life of the planet. A nagging itch still prickled beneath his fore-thoughts, faint memories of Taliyra’s gasps and movements, the brief feel of her against him, her pleading. His partially sated need sparked through him, already wanting more, but he silenced it.

He was determined not to hurt Taliyra, or anyone, the way he had hurt Avry. And that was the end of it.

—

“Miss Deyva, what a surprise! What brings you to the office wing?” The Tivikonian receptionist roused Taliyra from her mental psyche-up as she approached Khravel’s office. She paused right in front of the reception desk, blinking as she looked to Mx. E’verra.

Unlike the homier styles of the residential wing, the business wing served explicitly functionality. Tall windows lined many of the walls, overlooking the surrounding city and beyond. Constant reminders of what everyone within those walls were working to protect. Screens interspersed on the walls, rotating information including project timelines, schedules, upcoming public events, and accolades for particular employees.

Taliyra had barely realized she had gotten so close – to the point where she had to be buzzed in by the receptionist – since she was going over her script to Khravel.

Focusing on E’verra, she realized they smiled at her in a tense and confused sort of way. Right, she couldn’t just waltz into his workspace. He could be taking a video call or overlooking confidential documentation. The receptionist was sweet and well-mannered, in Taliyra’s experience, though prone to anxiety and stress. Their four hands fidgeted as they stared at her, projecting their numerous worries through actions.

“I’m sorry, I was deep in thought,” Taliyra sighed and shook her head, rubbing her temple. That morning, she had already spent time journey to and discussing options with a case manager at the ProxyPanion office on Tivik. Her mind still sloshed with the details and new questions that the meeting had presented. One thing had not changed. “I need to meet with Khravel.”

“Oh! Delegate Iedro has a meeting in about forty-five minutes, but I’m sure he can squeeze you in before then.” Something in Mx. E’verra loosened and, though their expression waffled between surprised interest to uncertainty, it did settle into something akin to decisiveness. Scurrying back to their desk, they hit a button. The doorway in front of Taliyra buzzed, before humming open. “Go ahead. Three doors down and to the right.”

With a grateful smile to Mx. E’verra, Taliyra strode through the doorway and down the hall. She hadn’t expected it to be difficult to gain access to the more restricted areas. The knowledge she was Khravel’s Companion was well-known and their arrangement gave them much leeway. Which was likely why so many emotions had fluttered over E’verra’s face before letting her through.

It wasn’t long before she found Khravel’s door, his name displayed on the inlaid screen. Beneath his name, the words ‘available’ flickered in various languages. Taliyra hit the touchpad by his door, requesting entry. She held her breath for a second, before another buzz answered and the door slid open.

As Taliyra stepped over the threshold, she eyed his office. It was a large room with a high ceiling and dangling lights. His desk sat at the far end, right in front of a huge shelf inlaid into the wall. Knickknacks, memorabilia, moving photographs, and more filled the shelves. But it was all organized clutter. The whole place was clean, save for his desk where multiple tablets were strewn, along with a huge-to-humans coffee cup. And it infuriatingly smelled like him. She hadn’t quite nailed down the aroma, but it reminded her of coffee and something rich, deep, heady.

Khravel himself sat at ease, his body leaning toward the right where an elbow braced his wait on the chair arm. His other right hand pressed to the side of his face as his upper-left held the tablet and lower-left tapped a rhythm on the other armchair. He was angled in such a way, she could see his long legs were crossed one over the other.

He didn’t even look up from whatever he was reviewing. “Yes?”

Squeezing her hands tighter together, Taliyra willed her voice to remain steady. “I need to talk to you.”

He was not expecting her, of all people. Khravel’s reaction was automatic. His body stilled in such a way, it was as if he was instantly paralyzed from her very words. After a breath, his eyes angled toward her though the rest of him did not move. “What?”

“I need to talk to you,” Taliyra repeated, her hands still folded in front of her. Straightening her back and rooting her stance, his reaction only solidified her resolve.

“It couldn’t wait until later?” He still didn’t move, though he did set his tablet aside. His brain was having a difficult time processing this turn of events. Taliyra was here. This was not her quarters. This was his office. He had a job to do, but she was here. And that stirred something sharp and hot deep within his loins.

Fuck, he had played himself, hadn’t he? He’d conditioned his body to rouse whenever she was around and now that’s how it reacted in her very presence. Even in his office.

“No, it cannot wait,” she bit out the words, though her tone remained professional.

Khravel’s jaw worked back and forth as he and Taliyra locked gazes. He could just send her away, tell her not to bother him during his work time. It would have been that simple. But she set her jaw and leered at him with such determined fire, it was hard not to crumple beneath the look. Heaving a sigh, he grudgingly waved a hand toward the empty chair across from his desk. “What is it?”

Taliyra remained standing, hands still folded in front of her. “I spoke with the local ProxyPanion office, requesting a re-assignment.”

His eyes widened a sliver, but he didn’t say anything. He knew she had gone to the office, simply due to the security detail he had following her whenever she went out, but he’d assumed it was a typical check-in. However, unlike her casual wear or even the nightly gauzy dress, she currently sported a three-piece navy blue dress suit, with deep blue blazer, vest, and skirt coupled with a white button-up. Whatever she had discussed with ProxyPanion representatives, it was not some idling updates.

For the life of him, he couldn’t not imagine how it’d feel to pop the buttons off her vest and blouse, hike her skirt high as he bent her over a desk. Like his body, Khravel clamped down on those thoughts, refusing to let them get further.

“They’ve filed my complaint and said to give them an update in two months. If nothing changes, if I have the same complaints, then they will be reassigning me elsewhere.” She barreled on as guilt pinged through her, watching Khravel’s reaction. Too fucking bad, another part of her thought. He brought this on himself. Which turned her thoughts, and words, toward a curious path. “However, this is the second time a Companion has been reassigned under you which is not a good look for Tivik. According to the representative I spoke to.”

He’d never told her about Avry. He’d assumed Taliyra was simply told. It would make sense to prepare a Companion before shipping them off to an alien planet, right? Judging from her suspicious look, that was not the case. The fact she was his second Companion, and he was one of the few to spearhead Companion industry on Tivik, made his failure with Avry burn all the hotter.

If he lost Taliyra, he would still have a third chance, but after that… well, he’d have to reapply for consideration. Since he was a higher-up, him losing the permission to have a Companion could paint the whole planet poorly. All current Companions on the planet could be revoked. It had happened to other planets, after all. Khravel held himself still again, his mind battling carnal reactions while trying to figure out the best conclusion to this interaction.

“This leads me to believe you are particularly terrible at sex and need lessons or something else is going on here.” Taliyra narrowed her eyes, frustrated at his lack of reaction. Shaking her head, knowing her own anger got the best of her with her earlier words, she sighed, “Either way, we have two months to fix this.”

“What exactly are your complaints?” His fingers returned to tapping, although it was a heavier agitated drum this time. He couldn’t help but stare at her in that dress suit, see himself unbuttoning the vest or hiking that skirt up. An unhelpful path of thought. It wasn’t going to aid him. He tried to shove it aside, only to be met with more intense images of popping the buttons from her blouse and bending her over his very desk.

“The sex is unenjoyable and you refuse to communicate with me.” The heat was rising in the room and she couldn’t be bothered to soften her accusations. The steady way he watched her aggravated her, while simultaneously making her lower tummy tighten. Instead, she raised her wrist and typed in a communique to Khravel on her tech gauntlet. Sending over the data the ProxyPanion office has given her, she asserted, “Research on the efficacy of surrogates between Terran and non-Terrans tend to highlight how enjoyable relations tend to beget better results.”

Khravel’s own wrist tech pinged in response, receiving the data she had sent. However, he didn’t even look at it. He just steadily stared at her, his jaw tight. Bruised ego and guilt threaded through his thoughts, but his words took on a harsher edge as he asked, “Do you believe barging into my office, during my workday, to accuse me of being bad at sex was your best option?”

---

Part 4 is live on Patreon.