#but i simply cannot. not just d&d i know there are many other types

[deermouth]

***THIS IS A POST ABOUT MY PERSONAL TASTES, NOT ABOUT THE VALIDITY OF CERTAIN CREATIVE OUTPUTS/FORMS/ACTIVITIES/COLLABORATIONS***

Ok. Once again. Pretty much every time I see a cool ttrpg concept I'm like, damn I wish someone developed this into a novel so I could meaningfully engage with it.!

[essektheylyss]

One thing that I feel is really interesting and often forgotten about Essek is that fundamentally, his characterization has been from the start based upon his desperation for external perspectives and connection, which, along with much of his narrative and mechanical positioning, means that he actually has an extraordinary and almost (but not actually, as I'll show) counterintuitive capacity for both growth and trust.

(Buckle in. This is a long one.)

In particular, I would argue, knowing now that many places where the plot touches Ludinus have long been marked for connecting back into the current plot, that he was quite possibly built as a prime candidate for radicalization by the Ruby Vanguard. He felt isolated from his culture, he was desperate for other connection, and he was certainly of the type to believe he was too smart to be drawn into such a thing, given his initial belief that he could control the situation and the fallout. If things had gone any other way, he easily could've been on the other side by now.

As such, he has been hallmarked by being fairly open to suggestion, perhaps for this reason, but the thing about that kind of trait is that it is both how people are radicalized and deradicalized. This is certainly true of Essek, who experienced genuine kindness and quite frankly strangeness from the Nein and was able to move from the isolation the Assembly had engendered to meaningful and genuine connection, largely propelled by his own internal reflection. By the time Nein are aware of his crimes, he's already begun to express regret to an extent and, furthermore, doubt in the Assembly, including explicitly drawing a line against Ludinus, even in a position where he was on his own and probably quite vulnerable.

Similarly, when the Nein reach the Vurmas Outpost some weeks later, he has moved from regret for the position he's ended up carrying a heavy remorse. This makes sense! He's fairly introspective, seems used to spending a lot of time in his own head, and was left with plenty to mull over. It's not some kind of retcon for him to have progressed well past where the Nein left him; it just means he's an active participant in the world who has done his own work in the meantime.

This is another interesting aspect to him. I've talked about this a bit before but I cannot find the post so I'll recap here: antagonists in D&D have significantly more agency than allied NPCs. Antagonists are active forces, against which the party is meant to struggle; allies are meant to support the PCs, which means they tend to be more passive in both their actions and their character growth. Essek was both built as an antagonist, in a position that gives him significant agency, and also was then given significant opportunity to grow specifically to act as a narrative mirror for Caleb's arc. Even when he becomes a more traditional D&D ally, he still retains much of that, though he occupies a supporting role.

I believe that this is especially true because of the nature of Caleb's arc, which I've already written on; the tl;dr of this post is that Caleb is both convinced that he is permanently ruined and also desperate to prove that change is possible. Essek is that proof, because he is simply the character in a position to do so. But this also means that his propensity for introspection and openness is accentuated! He has to do the legwork on his own, for the most part, because that's where he is in the meantime.

But he still ends the campaign necessarily constricted; he is under significant scrutiny, he's at risk from the Assembly, and he goes on the run fairly soon after the story ends. He spends most of the final arc anxious and paranoid, which is valid given the crushing reality of his situation. It would be very easy to extrapolate that seven years into this reality, he would be insular, closed off, and suspicious of strangers, even in spite of the lessons he's learned from the Nein and their long term exposure.

So seeing his openness and lightness now is surprising, but at the same time, given this combination of factors in his position in the narrative over time and his defining traits, it's not by any means unreasonable.

But one thing that I found so delightful is how much trust he exhibits, which is obviously a wild thing to say about Essek in particular, given much of what he learns is both earning and offering trust, which was something he says explicitly in 2x124 that he's never really experienced: "I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust." It makes up much of the progression of his relationship with Caleb, and the trust that he is offered by the Nein in walking off the ship is the impetus he needs to grow.

But I think it's easy to talk about trust when it comes to people who have proven themselves to you or to whom you've ingratiated yourself, and that's really the most we can say about Essek by the time he leaves the Blooming Grove. There is this sense in a lot of discussion of trust (not solely in this fandom) that it is only related to either naivete or love, but there's far more to it. Trust at its best is deliberate—cultivating an openness to the world at large is a great way to combat cynicism and beget connection instead. It allows a person to maintain curiosity and be open to experience, but it can be incredibly difficult to hold onto.

It is clear that the Essek we meet now is a very pointedly and intentionally trusting individual. He trusts Caleb and by extension Caleb's trust in Keyleth, as he shows up and picks up a group of strangers from a foreign military encampment and walks in without issue. He trusts the Hells to follow his lead moving through Zadash and to exhibit enough discretion so as to avoid bringing suspicion upon all of them. He trusts that Astrid will respond well to his entrance, but he also trusts himself and the Hells enough to execute a back-up plan in the case that she doesn't. In the end, he even trusts them enough to give them his name and identity.

He doesn't scan as someone who has spent half a dozen years living like a prey animal, afraid of any shadow he runs across in an alley, withdrawn into himself and an insular family, which would've been an easy route for him to take. He scans as someone who has learned the kind of trust borne of learned confidence and a trained eye for good will and kindness, which are crucial weapons one would need for staving off cynicism in his circumstances—as if he has survived thanks more to connection and kindness than paranoia and isolation. (If we want to be saccharine about it, he scans quite poignantly as a member of the Mighty Nein.)

So it is easy to imagine this trust and openness as a natural progression of his initial search for perspectives external to his own cultural knowledge. Though he makes those first connections with the Assembly to try to vindicate his personal hypotheses, he finds in them exposure to the deepest corruption among Exandrian mortals, which could've—and did, for a time—turned him further down that same dark path.

But it's also this same openness to exposure from the wider world that allows the Nein to influence him for the better, and in spite of the challenges he's certainly faced simply surviving over the past seven years, he seems to have held onto this openness enough to move through the world with self-assurance and a willingness to extend the kinds of trust and good will that he has been shown.

(I would be remiss not to mention that I was reminded about my thoughts on this by this lovely post from sky-scribbles and their use in the tags of 'light' to describe Essek's demeanor this episode, which is really such an apt word for it.)

[dimepdf]

★  𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓. + 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍

masterlist. / taglist. / any request? synopsis. the jjk men and how perverted they would be to their partner.

─── ☆ notes. sorry for being flakey i've been recovering from having Agust D tickets stolen right out of my hands (i was too late putting in my card information) so i'm pretty much in constant mourning at the moment. | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍

─── ☆ genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni | masterbation | scent kink | oral sex | facials | marking | possessiveness | manipulation(?) | sub/dom | switching | brat taming | voyeurism | exhibitionism | mentions of multiple partners | sadism | biting | rough sex | cock warming | creampie | is you see a typo simply ignore it | title inpso by this song.

★     NANAMI KENTO !

‣ He would take it to the grave, though, with the type of things he would do when he did not have your comfort: tucking his shoes to the side and tossing aside his tie after a long day at work, all those rightful morals get tossed aside as well, seeing you had left to go back to your own home, leaving the almost overbearing traces of you against his mattress and pillows.

‣ tucking his face into his bed sheets while he slowly reaches down to undo the buckle of his belt, his hand creeping under the button of his pants in search to help ease the tension that grew as his erection engulfed in him what was left of you.

‣ grunting pathetically as he stuffed his face against his pillow, fucking his fist, the thought of your body, the things you two would do under the sheets.

‣ He will do anything he needs to do to not ruin his gentlemanly persona, his thoughts about you are more tamed and docile than those of the others, who would be more open with their thoughts.

‣ but I feel like Nanami wouldn’t really show his true nature no matter how many times you poke and prod at him, taunting him sexually, he’ll always make it seem as if you are the one that always suggests something first.

‣ I feel like he's also very into seeing you cry, especially if you like light bondage, whether he’s tying your hands together with his tie or holding your wrist behind your back with his belt.

‣ But on a rare occasion, like when he’s just mentally exhausted and really craving your touch and needs a little widedown, he can't help but  be a little touchy and needy for some sense of comfort.

‣ That comfort comes in a lot of ways: cuddling, making out, handjobs, and helping his very terrible oral fixation that never fails to have you fall victim to house mouth by spreading out on top of any and every surface in his home with your thighs trembling as your knee was bent over his shoulder.

★     GOJO SATORU !

‣ This man is very shameless and vocal about the things he wants and will do to you, so shameless that you have to apologize to anyone within a hearing radius.

‣ He literally does not care and does not have an ounce of decorum in his body.

‣ No matter how much he teases you for being "obsessed," you both know damn well how overly possessive he is over you and your body. There is never a time your two are in the same room and he doesn't have his hands all over you.

‣ The problem is that he isn't ashamed of talking about the things he wants to do with you to literally any poor victim willing to listen; he had the dedicated photo album full of saved selfies and pictures and the very lewd picture of you in lingerie tucked in his wallet, ready to be pulled out at any unfortunate time.

‣ The more you two get comfortable and closer, I feel like he will get more whiny and needy for your physical contact and attention, touching and kissing all over you in public.

‣  Kissing all over you, including the multiple items he would spoil you with, ranging from expensive lingerie in his favorite color to little trinkets that remind him of you. His favorite thing to do is buy you clothes and have you try them on in front of him.

‣  He just cannot keep his hands to himself, especially when you look so good in the sexy suit he bought from Victoria Secret that just complimented your boobs so much. It shouldn't be a surprise that it only takes him a glance before he’s tugging your panties to the side and fucking you against the wall.

★     TOJI FUSHIGURO !

‣ Another shameless man who does not give a fuck where he is or who’s around; when he wants you, he wants you.

‣ Definitely more subtle compared to Gojo (which isn't saying much).

‣ He’s just a major tits guy and loves when you post selfies with cleavage just to screenshot for his gallery and zoom in on your chest.

‣ If you happen to be in his company, rather than lounging around cuddling, his hands will at some point end up under your shirt, fondling your chest and pinching your nipples, using your boobs like a personal stress ball, and if he's not doing that, his head is tucked under your shirt, sucking hickies on them as if it were some normal occurrence.

‣ There’s no normal moment when you're dating Toji; this man knows he can act upon his lewd desires and will tuck your panties in his back pocket after sex as if they were some type of award for making you finish twice.

‣  He’s a man with artistic ability; that being said, he likes how you look covered in his cum; rather, it's all over your face, boobs, buttocks, and stomach. You better believe he’s pulling out and painting all over you.

‣ will get a little whiny whenever you try to clean yourself off, but it's fine because the moment you get out of the shower, he’s tapping you in for another round (rest in peace your ability to walk straight).

 ‣ He does not have a single shameless bone in his body; in fact, he loves it when you catch him doing something pervy; he only gets more excited.

‣ Rather its jerking off with your underwear and possibly grunting out your name knowing you're a step away, the moment that door swings open, he’s holding eye contact and fucking his fist.

‣ As much as people assume Toji to be some hard dom I feel like he does have a bit of a bratty side, and it does not help that he can get super petty, especially if he doesn't get what he wants. Oh, lord, that man will teasingly taunt like there's no tomorrow.

‣ And the worst part is that he does it as if he isn't the one practically whining for you to touch him.

‣ Don't even bother trying to get payback, whether it's trying to get him winded up with a cute lewd text or sending a sext picture of yourself, he will hit back ten times as hard and even make you drag it out until he’s the one with the upper hand.  

★     GETO SUGURU !

‣ okay… So I know what I said about Gojo being the most perverted, but I think that Geto might sometimes give him a run for his money.

‣ He's got the shameless thing all checked, in fact, he's so shameless that he makes you feel embarrassed and flustered, as if you're the one at fault.

‣ He is the same with Toji, he doesn't care who’s near doesn't matter he has his hands all over you, taunting and teasing you right in front of his friends he does not give a single care.

‣ He loves getting you all flustered in public, no matter who’s listening, he will straight out ask you to touch him whenever he feels like it.

‣ He loves the thought of you coming undone with an audience watching how much he can please you, a possessive sense of pride waving over him as he fucks you in front of everyone, telling them exactly who you belong to as you moan out his name. As long as you keep your eyes on him, there won't be a problem.

‣ frames lewd pictures of you, I’m not even kidding.

‣ I feel like he would have one of those huge portraits of you modeled in fancy lingerie hung like art in his living room, or small portraits of you in his bedroom.

‣ When you first noticed them, he just sort of smirked as you tried to tell him off.

★     SUKUNA RYOMEN !

‣ Oh brother, this dude gets grimy with it. 

‣ He’s got a major god complex, so it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that he doesn't see that what he’s doing is perverted, downright bad, to the point where he calls you a pervert for still liking him knowing the type of shit he’s into.

‣ Is a panty sniffing, dick stepping, fucking in public or even while his friends watch, watching you shower, jacking off while laying next to you, type of freak.

‣ Let's step back and backtrack on that friend thing. To everyone's surprise, Sukuna loves sharing, so much so that he’s into watching you get passed around by his friends.

‣ Practically invented voyeurism, loves the look on your face while you're getting railed, but only while you hold eye contact with him and moan his name while you're with some other dude.

‣ Sure he’s possessive, but in cocky way. 

‣ He knows he’s better than any other man you’ll ever be with, he’s the best thing that has ever graced your silly little pitbull life, so no matter how many times you complain about some sad pitful fuck, he knows it’ll never beat the multiple times he’d leave you trembling from just his mouth.

‣ He’s a huge tease with his tongue and long fingers, you’d have to be in tears and whimpering out his name before he'd consider pulling his dick out and fucking you.

‣ Is very huge on crying, whether it's from overstimulation or you just being overwhelmed from being angry at him. Just know the little devils on both sides of his shoulders are practically barking at him to bend you over and fuck you when the tears start spilling. 

‣ He’s a mean fucking, hair tugging, biting, leaving bruises, slapping, degrading—you could name anything that inflicts some sort of pain, and Sukuna has already tried it.

‣ But on the very rare occasion when he allows you too to take just a bit of charge, his desperate side does get a chance to shine out more, begging for you to let him cum in you, begging for you to give him orders.

‣ Sex will always end with you feeling like some type of jelly-filled doughnut (I'm so sorry), and he refuses to cum anywhere else but inside of you, let alone let you move from his grasp when he’s done. Best believe you’re keeping his cock warm for the rest of the night.

🔖 @souljagrldotcom / @m0mmym1lk3r-png / @toji-dabi-wife / @dilfs-lover / @venussakura / @emery-333 / @unheolybakugo / @dunixxd / @taeecups / @songbirdgardensworld / @celi-xxmoon / @s-witch-bitch / @chloee0x0 / @kawatabae / @haitaniwhor3 / @pluzo / @hey-gurls69 / @momoewn / @sheluvzeren / @kogoshidied / @sacvh / @disaster-rose / @hoohoohope / @pidwidge / @jadeisthirsting / @cjm-cookiethief / @zuuki / @tojishugetiddies / @rumi-rants / @justanotherkpopstanlol / @awkwardaardvarkforever / @lexiinanime / @melty-kisses / @kageyama-i-want-tobiors / @kiyomeichann / @wenumsmol / @unholybabyface / @namidaass / @princesstiti14 / @watyousayin / @laylasbunbunny / @crissteetee / @ziggy-09 / @angel-luv-04 / @anotherlovelyruin / @p-rizz-ha / @lone-poltergeist / @mimixrx2 / @t4naiis

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[euphoric-dramione]

April Dramione fanfic wrap-up *with links*

Amor Vincit Omnia by Twin_Flame_Blues: a cute second-chance healing romance. i’m not usualully very much into these tropes, but i really enjoyed reading this. it was very long, considering that not that much was actually happening, but it was still easy to read and i always wanted to come back to it when i had to put it down.

Rosemary for Remembrance by rubber_soul02: a beatiful healing fic with a found family trope where draco is abit angsty but worthy of redepmtion and hermione is a bit darker because of her trauma that she cannot easily move on from.

Timeless by alexandra_emerson: i liked the idea of this fic, the complexity of time and relationships in that complex time, but the more it went on, the more it just became a bore. it was really repetitive too.

A Season For Setting Fires by mighbewriting: i feel like this fic was the perfect lenght - i didn’t get bored of it and it kept my attention throughout the whole story. i liked the idea very much, the writing was brilliant and the plot really hooked me. i feel like for a wartime fic it was a bit too sappy but i still really enjoyed it. the ending, i feel, was sort of the weakest poitn, otherwise i would’ve given this fic the highest grade.

Soft As It Began by rubber_soul02: i definitely did not read this fic because of the mystery aspect, but i loved that it was actually entertaining and i really wanted to find out what happened to harry. the chemistry between our ship was also really good.

Lumos & Lattes by magicalmolly: i liked this fic and was hooked on from the beginning, but i think it didn’t know what genre it wanted to be: a fluffy coffee shop au, a smutty fic, a healing and redemption fic, a dark murder fic, an angsty fic, a fluffy fic? by the end, i still don’t know. i don’t think the author is entirely sure either.

Love & Other Historical Accidents by PacificRimbaud: i wasn’t impressed by this. found it really dull and boring and repetitive. not that i’m a big fan of regency, but i thought i was a fan of time travel. maybe i’m not?

Break Her by BareWithMeHoney: dark and twisted, ust how i love it, alhtough very much out of character and many of the decisions h and d made really did not make sense. i also feel like thif fic explained more and showed little, but i still really enjoyed it.

Things We Say In The Dark by rubber_soul02: this was such a beautiful academic fic, although i wouldn’t say it was dark acdemia, but it definitely had academic vibes. i loved the characterization of draco and hermione, as well as their interactions and relationship. also, the side pairing of theo and harry hit me hard in the best way possible.

Ten out of Ten by morriganmercy: a fun marriage law smutty fic that i read in one sitting.

On The Nature Of Daylight by ikorous: i ate this fic up in 20 hours because i was obsessed with it. this type of smut and toxic draco was all i ever needed. although i have to admit this fic is not the best written and there are plot holes, but the plot just absolutely doesn’t matter here. this is the type of bad boy x good girl dynamic i’m talking about. the ending though, i have to say, was not very satisfactory, but i also don’t see any other way this could’ve ended.

Things We're All Too Young To Know by eevans: the first half of this fic was absolutely brilliant, but right after draco found out that hermione was preteding to be daphne, it seems like the whole ansgt and chemistry simply evaporated and i was left with nothing. overall, a quite fun fic, although i found the second hafl to be boring.

ONE-SHOTS:

Paris by Twin_Flame_Blues

A Bit of a Mess by slytherindiaries

Amortentia by LadyMidnight87

DNFs:

The Binding by Curly_Kay

Hot for Teacher by MotherofBulls

[mylordshesacactus]

How I Run Wildshape

Listen, "wildshape rules are fucking stupid" is not a fresh or hot take. Level 3: You can transform twice a day. Level 19: You can still transform twice a day! But now you can stay transformed for longer.

(Because as we all know, "eight-hour strategy commitments" are the core of how most people play D&D.)

And then of course: Level 20: INFINITE WILDSHAPES! You go from "2 per day" to "UNLIMITED! YOU GET A SQUIRREL AND YOU GET A SQUIRREL AND YOU GET A SQUIRREL, EVERYBODY GETS A SQUIRREL" and that's insane.

Tl;dr: The core appeal to me of playing druid at all is the shapeshifting. I would, genuinely, prefer it if the druid class was a half-caster that focused heavily on the shapeshifting mechanic--and before you all pile onto me in the notes, I know there's barbarian subclasses that bring in some shifter flavor, but that's not really what I'm talking about. I want to play a druidic shapeshifter.

So here's how I house-rule Wildshapes at my table (if, of course, the player is interested--I'm not out here forcing OTHER people to play THEIR characters the way I prefer, come on now) and then, just for fun, a couple of wildshape variants I've thought up but never had the chance to really play with, that DMs might offer as optional druidic feats.

If anyone with more experience and skill than me at putting together subclasses ever wants to yoink these, please do. Please. Someone fix this.

Core Wildshape

The no-frills replacement to RAW wildshape, just a 1:1 replacement.

You have a number of Wildshape charges equal to half your Druid level, rounded up.

Each Wildshape charge allows you to take one animal form, with restrictions as listed on the Beast Shapes table, for up to one hour.

There are no "partial charges," so transforming for five minutes uses the full charge just as if you'd transformed for a full hour.

Charges can be chained together seamlessly; if you choose to remain transformed past the first hour, you simply expend another Wildshape charge. You can also move directly from one Wildshape form to another by expending a new Wildshape charge. (This isn't Animorphs; you don't have to "re-transform" between charges.)

Wildshape Variants

Variant: Feral

(Prerequisite: Druid level 8)

Your communion with nature has made you as comfortable in the form of animals as in your own skin--if not more so.

You have a number of Wildshape charges equal to your Druid level. Beginning at level 12, your Wildshape forms can have a CR equal to 1/3 your Druid level, rounded down.

Variant: Druidic Avatar

You have achieved deep congruence with one of your animal forms, such that it has become tightly associated with you. Choose one wildshape form of size Small, Medium, or Large as your avatar.

While in this form, you can cast spells as normal, replacing verbal components with appropriate animal noises, as long as any necessary material components are physically present (being absorbed into your wildshape form when you transformed counts).

You can choose to alter your avatar when you take a long rest. Once you have done this, you cannot alter it again until one month has passed.

Variant: Deepwoods Shifter

Your travels in the wildest and most remote woodlands have given you a deep understanding of many forms of life beyond simple beasts--forms of life that are, to you, no less natural.

You have a short list of Deepwoods forms. Choose one non-humanoid creature, of no higher than CR 1, of a type other than Beast, to begin this list. Every time you are given the option of an ability score improvement (applied retroactively), you may choose another non-Beast, non-humanoid creature form with a CR of 1/3 your Druid level, rounded down, to add to your list.

These choices can be altered whenever a new form is added to the list.

[nabanna]

lord help us all I've been given a reason to think about Dracula novel/Drizzt series crossover

I love following canyourfavesurvivecastledracula (I especially love seeing characters I'm not familiar with on there) and they recently got an ask about my little guy Drizzt Do'Urden but didn't know all that much about him BUT YOU SEE (unfortunately for everyone who knows me in any way) this is a crossover of the two major fandoms that have become my entire personality in the past year or so! so as someone who's eagerly awaiting the return of Dracula Daily Season AND reading multiple of the Drizzt series books as we speak (simultaneously! help..) and considers him a blorbo to tenderly and lovingly put in the microwave to watch him dodge the radiation like an ant, I'm taking a crack at it because this looks like fun :D

Making my own post because this is purely to be enrichment in my enclosure and also it's.. gotten So So Very Long.. also pouring one out for my other account where I normally would post this sort of thing that I simply cannot log into anymore for mysterious and unknown reasons. (Literally it's still like There and I can See It but trying to log in takes me to 'make a new blog' pages and... wait I'm silly I think I know why. the email died. no idea how to get back in without the email.)

ANYWAY

To the thought experiment:

Could Drizzt Do'Urden Survive Castle Dracula?

Short answer: Yes, it's not a fun time for him, he saves the baby though!

Long answer:

Using the blog's stated general criteria...

Overall approach to the supernatural:

Is an elf, knows what a vampire is, however D&D vampires work differently from Dracula vampires so he would not have all the information on that front if it came to a confrontation. (Knowing the Drizzt books, it would definitely come to at least one fight or at least a tense chase sequence.)

Also depends on how quickly he clocked that this is, in fact, a vampire, and whether Dracula could catch on to him catching on and spin things in a way that kept Drizzt relatively chill OR decide it's time to strike (which he could probably escape) (though now I'm thinking about Vampire!Drizzt....... no no I shouldn't.... unless.....)

The presence of Guenhwyvar (constellation panther BFF my beloved) would afford him some protection other than Dracula's whims, and companionship which is Very Important as he has been known to go feral without sufficient friendship.

Probably takes all the local superstitions very seriously because where he comes from if someone's like "there are ghosts that come out on certain days" and "there are monsters in these woods" they mean it very Very literally.

Dracula's general inhuman behaviors he could take in stride and adapt to pretty well I think, he's known a lot of really eccentric people and is from Fantasy Zone, so the idea that Dracula isn't human wouldn't be scary or even all that weird. Vampire, yeah that's sus, but just non-human? you walk past a hundred non-humans on a single street in most cities where he's from. Many of the eccentricities might be explainable just by going "Ah, he seems to be some kind of wizard. Yeah that checks out." Doesn't seem to be sleeping on a normal schedule or at all? Drizzt does that too! Sees too well in the dark/doesn't seem to use lights much? Darkvision and light sensitivity, same! Moves inhumanly fast? A little concerning but why not. Tells stories from centuries ago as if he was there? Elves do that all the time and it's because they were, in fact, there. (Also some human wizards do all of that too, just because.)

Now because things work differently between these two settings I'm not sure how much his general familiarity with things in the Forgotten Realms would help him here, like he's taking it all in stride but does he know how to protect himself against a Dracula-type vampire? Does he know magic is so incredibly rare and (apparently) usually evil or does he think this is just an unusually magic-less region?

Whether they would accept the crucifix from the old lady:

He is a polite young man so yes of course he would, and because the lady doesn't know what a drow (or an elf?) is, she probably wouldn't think "evil!!!" like most of the common folk in the Realms do, so much as "weird-looking (yet androgynously beautiful) young man" or depending on the local superstitions may assume he's some sort of fey being? or just like, really exceptionally foreign foreigner.

Assuming she still offers it, he would accept it despite not knowing what sort of deity it's for, because he recognizes it's a token of goodwill and he loves expressions of goodwill. Would definitely go and write about it in his little diary to both wonder what she's so afraid of/what sort of protection it affords, and also gush about the kindness and possibly whether this expands or aligns with his current understanding of morality.

This plus the other Superstitious Behaviors would clue him in that something's up so he'd be going in with that knowledge, prepared to figure out what's going on and what the villagers are so afraid of.

Whether they would go exploring after being told not to:

100% and he might even be stealthy enough to mostly get away with it!

Demonstrably does not like being restricted, only went along with this stuff when he was younger because the indoctrination ensured that he literally had no idea there was any other option (also his dad sparred with him daily to get his energy out so his zoomies were managed)

If Dracula really truly wanted to discourage him from any particular places he might just need to come up with an explanation, but he might also be entertained enough by Drizzt's sneaking and snooping to let him roam and see where it goes. Drizzt is better at stealth than Jonathan but they have different flavors of wet cat charm which Dracula may want to handle differently.

Depending on how you read the scene with the vampire ladies trying to "kiss" Jonathan, like how much of it was vampire charm making him feel kinda into it or potentially more of a paralysis situation, it could go differently just because Drizzt may or may not be able to break out and run away very fast, or just kinda endure it while feeling Really Bad And Gross about the sexual overtones. (Based on instances such as him resisting drugs and exiting the room as fast as possible when a priestess was coming onto him, and going feral to push through a paralyzing poison to prevent an assault on another person.) (I read him as incredibly demisexual and he demonstrates being sex-repulsed to everyone outside of the very short list of people he's actively very close friends with and attracted to.) (His feral side has been known to come out in these types of situations but not all of them and it wouldn't necessarily always work either.)

The girlies would not put him off of exploring for very long but he would likely be trying to avoid all possible run-ins with them from that point forward. Unfortunately for him he is a tasty little guy and I think the girlies would actively mess with him against Dracula's orders, perhaps in part because he's an elf and they find that interesting and engaging. Enrichment for their enclosure! Horrible time for Drizzt. Exactly the way the vampire squad likes it!

Verdict: He has a bad time but he's gotta run around he has the zoomies. Dracula could possibly prevent this, if he wanted to prevent it, by letting him into a training yard of some kind so he can get out his energy.

Ability to manage the whims of a Rich Jerk / hold Dracula's interest:

This one is harder and probably depends on the circumstances of him going to the castle, like what his goal there is, and around what point in the timeline he's at. I haven't gotten through all 30-something books just yet but my answer is Probably?

Just the fact of him being an elf and having some innate magic abilities could possibly be enough for Dracula to find him interesting enough to keep around. He's not a wizard and his innate spells are mostly harmless, more battlefield management than anything, so he's not magically a particularly powerful threat to Dracula, just decently interesting. He could also go on about how magic works where he's from, though going on too much about his inherent drow magic would make him uncomfortable (which Dracula would probably like) and especially like, if he got into the ins and outs of Menzoberranzan specifically.

He would definitely bring out the active listening skills for Dracula's history and war stories. Might want to get examples of any particularly interesting fighting maneuvers. I wonder if Dracula would indulge him in a spar or let him practice? The castle must have a training yard somewhere, but would he let Drizzt keep his weapons/borrow some?

Usually good enough at reading the room to determine when is or is not a good time for the scimitars and the panther (combat mode) to come out.

Not the most charismatic, but insightful and clever. (autism-ass elf. elftism.......)

Raised in a very controlling environment with a strict social hierarchy where he was simultaneously part of a high-ranking noble family but also as far down the social ladder as he could be otherwise (male, youngest child, was supposed to be assigned spell component at birth, doesn't like conforming) so, again, he wouldn't like it but he could probably manage it.

Partly depends on how much effort Dracula is willing to put in to make the Friendship believable and keep Drizzt in the dark, or if he's interesting enough to more carefully balance a web of manipulation around.

I'm gonna say this point gets a Yes

Assuming he realized the vampires are Bad but too dangerous to 2v4, he would be so uncomfortable for most of it but is also funky enough that Dracula would probably find his discomfort and weird-but-trying-to-be-so-polite mannerisms entertaining. Dracula would decide this is his blorbo now. I may be biased but this is tumblr so actually Dracula himself said all of this to me personally in DMs.

Facility for climbing without gear (free soloing):

Lizard fashion? Spider fashion...

He Is On The Walls

Multiple points in the books involve him sneaking around places by climbing on walls and I believe elves are canonically, in general, weirdly good at parkour. So yeah!

Whether they would choose to risk being eaten by vampires over the certain death of being eaten by wolves:

IF he has weapons, the wolves aren't really certain death because he is a whirling tornado of death, I am so sorry wolves. If not then he might be able to parkour out of their way? He probably wouldn't want to fight the wolves though, because he is a disney princess nature lover and would rather free them from Dracula's control if possible.

Depending on how much he could figure out about how vampires work here, he may have some ideas for how to turn a fight against them to his advantage or otherwise.

Wait, this happens after the baby incident, right? If so then he's not getting to this point plot-wise, though he might have come back to try fighting the vampires after saving the baby, and depending on how he's doing that, he might still have to contend with the wolves at some point.

Decision: Doesn't want to go against the wolves at any point, but if necessary, he can out-parkour them.

General analysis from Me:

Main counts on the original post are accurate! He accepts the cross, survives the social situations as long as necessary, and escapes with the baby to give it back to the villagers upset but otherwise intact.

As soon as he realized the vampires were menacing the locals to any extent, he would decide to figure out a way to free the area of their evil. Unfortunately the best way for him to figure out anything about the vampires is to stay in close quarters with them for a little while. He has been known to pretend to side with an enemy to gain information or an advantage in a fight, but I'm not sure how long he could keep it up.

Dracula might string him along with Friendship (Drizzt loves friendship so much if he doesn't have friendship he will explode) but he would have to get his baby-eating roommates to play along and behave or else they could easily freak the guy out too much for it to remain believable.

Either way, Drizzt is not staying in that castle beyond the point of another person (the baby) being put in danger. There's at least one point in the books where he's protecting a baby while fighting some enemies and he always puts the baby's safety first. Also Guen can respawn, so if it's absolutely necessary to, she can get taken to 0 HP distracting the vampires while Drizzt improvises some way to get out of there with the baby intact.

That's as far as "survive Castle Dracula" usually goes because well he got out of the castle alive but now I am also thinking about possible plot beyond that point...

First of all the villagers?? Assuming they saw him as Really Weird Foreigner or perhaps some sort of fair folk rather than Literal Demon Spawn the worst they'd do is probably be very tense and silent after taking the baby back and let him leave uncontested without welcoming him in. Best case scenario is some or all of them, or at least the baby's mother, being grateful enough to help him out a little. But like what's he gonna Do after that? (Also if the villagers think he's some sort of fey guy then would they think there's something up with the baby now...)

I mean he knows there's baby-eating vampires in that castle now and he's very against the idea of leaving baby-eating vampires around. Even if he can't 2v4 all of them plus their minions he'd wanna do something about that. (2v4 rather than 1v4 because Guen counts as one) Would he try to gather allies to assault the castle? If he learned that there's times when he can expect them all to be asleep in their coffins would he try to just go back in and stab them in their coffin-sleep? Would he leave the area if he knows the local people are still in danger or would he reason that he needs to find help and come back?

(Also raising to myself the question of whether this is "specifically only Drizzt has been isekai'd into the novel Dracula" or if there's perhaps a little more crossover type setting blending, or if others from the Realms are in there, is Elminster around I know he's canonically been to Real Life Earth, would Van Helsing have some kind of tangent about how this has allegedly happened before, there's an implication that vampires aren't even Van Helsing's favorite cryptid what if d&d type elves are actually higher on that list and he knows all about them, is it even possible to put something resembling the plot and characters of Dracula into a D&D setting, what if I could make a Domain of Dread out of this–)

No matter what happened, Drizzt would be writing SO many diary entries which is perhaps the true main reason why he would survive, he's got that journaling and diary-keeping swag just like my good friend Jonathan Harker

(This is all assuming he has Guen because if he didn't have Guen he would wilt away of the Miseries. Might un-wilt specifically to save the baby and then re-wilt as soon as he remembered there's no kitty.)

[ladyimaginarium]

g-d as an antizionist native jew you literally cannot win.

on one hand you'll have uber hardcore zionists & also technically, kahanists (because it's important to keep in mind that not every zionist thinks the same way & there's different types of zionism & to listen to jewish voices about this topic bc i'm tired of goyim speaking over jews on a term that jewish people created, but for the unaware: kahanism is basically a type of far right zionism that straight up is like "the land of israel should be for jews Only & anyone who isn't jewish don't get the same rights as jewish people",) who will believe that you're. somehow a "traitor" or "not a real jew/self hating jew" for y'know not. wanting to have your jewishness be associated with medinat yisrael (the modern state of israel, there's a difference between am yisrael, the jewish people, eretz yisrael, the physical land & medinat israel, the modern state of israel), specifically the government's actions against not just palestinians but others too or by simply saying that "hey man regardless of how you feel about zionism, it's a nationalist ideology that, like many other nationalisms, has harmed people & zionism Has harmed palestinians & they have every right to talk about it, just like the mayans & those at sbrenica who were also affected by it" & i was blocked by a zionist for saying that or denying palestinian indigeneity alongside jewish indigeneity (because some straight up just think that only jews are indigenous there which. just isn't true, jews & palestinians are literally related & they both have a shared connection to that land), making excuses for the israeli government & the iof's actions, & misconstruing land back shit into a violent movement when it isn't & even be islamophobic & racist towards natives including native jews who naturally feel a sense of solidarity to the palestinian cause because we know what it's like to be displaced & killed by an occupying government.

& THEN on the other hand you'll have many nonpalestinian goyische/nonjewish western leftist antizionists who think they somehow have a free pass to say whatever they want & think they somehow can't be antisemitic & racist just because they support the free palestine movement, some give a platform to well known bigots & antisemites who literally spout blood libel & antisemitic conspiracy theories & many don't even notice let alone care just because they agree with said people on other types of activism, supporting groups like jvp when it's basically the autism speaks for jews, engage in atrocity denial & terrorism apologia because nothing says resistance like cheering on violent antisemitism against jews (/sarcastic) you disagree with & thinking that groups like hamas, hezbollah, the houthis etc are based people when multiple palestinians from gaza & other people like iranians, syrians & yemeni have spoke up against them when hamas killed 1200 people, mostly civilians, but apparently that doesn't matter & throwing all their morals they claim to support down the drain & be antisemitic or islamophobic to innocent individuals who had nothing to do with the warcrimes being committed & excusing the inexcusable & justifying the unjustifiable, conflating jewish people with white european people, calling random ass jews "zionists" even when they say repeatedly that they aren't even for just calling out their antisemitism, literally using slurs used by the literal fucking kkk (i.e "zio" & any variants of the word), people waking up & graduating from the instagram-tiktok school of law thinking they know everything about this topic when they don't, people treating this very serious thing like a fandom with teams when people aren't your blorbos or celebrities, these are real people who are traumatized, grieving, suffering & dying, treat them like people, some people can't understand the very basic concept that you can fight for more than one cause & one community at the same time, they don't call out the virulent antisemitism in their own movement, deny jewish people Any type of connection & historical presence to the southern levant despite there being a fuckton of historical, cultural & archaeological evidence & straight up deny jewish history in the region, stay silent when there are jews literally being harassed, beat up, sexually assaulted, & murdered in the streets & mobs have already been targeting jewish neighborhoods & synagogues & almost nobody outside of jewish people are talking about any of this & almost none of these people are deconstructing their antisemitism & when that happens that just allows the far right to further advance itself & its agenda. because a lot of these people think they're immune to propaganda & antisemitism when they're really not because some people will straight up be parroting nazi shit & most people don't even blink an eye except for jewish people & most people from what i've seen don't do anything about this huge issue & these are coming from the same people who're like "punch all nazis!!".

& regardless of either side of the discourse even when we& say "hey uh. we& believe in ceasefire de-escalation humanitarianism accountability justice reparations & the hopes of saving as many lives as possible & we reject all forms of dehumanization, racism, antisemitism, islamophobia, xenophobia, harassment of innocents, scapegoating & collective punishment, every human life is precious & no one should have to fear for their life, we hold human rights to be universal & nonnegotiable, a value we hold above every movement, ideology or cause just as we've been taught by our elders, our indigenous beliefs & jewish ethics, we want liberation, safety, dignity & self determination & a homeland for everyone & we haven't made an exception to this topic" some people would probably just assume that we're "both-sideism" or being "centrist" when like. no dude that's literally just a humane take on things, not a neutral one & it's. really fucking weird that that's somehow a hot controversial take to have.

like. you get antisemitism from literally every possible side of the spectrum regardless of their politics, its insidious & it's not fun At All.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Jonelias week day seven! It's the end already! D:. HOW?? Setting: Entity swap // Prompt: Fatal attraction

Jon burst into his office on the third week of his first month at the Institute, looking like he hasn't slept in three days and reeking of the smell of cigarettes. Elias's nose twitch in distaste -- something to work on, certainly, if Jon stayed employed here long enough --, but instead of doing what he usually does when employes cross boundaries, he tilts his head up with a raised eyebrow.

Jon, after all, is not quite the usual type Elias hire. Jon has been touched by the same Master as Elias, but he's floundering with it still, and Elias is curious to see what will come out of it.

"Is something the matter, Jon?" he asks. "Someone dying, perhaps?"

It does send a little thrill in his spine, the way Jon reacts like he gets the joke, even if he doesn't like it. It's remarkably rare for people to truly understand it.

"You," Jon answers. "You are dying. You should be dead! Every -- Every part of you is just -- dead. How are you doing it? Are you sick? I've been meeting with sick people and none of them are simply just, just dead --"

"Well, that's a rather rude and personal thing to ask, don't you think?" Elias cuts him off and Jon glowers at him, although there's a hint of hunger in his eyes.

"But you're not surprised," he says slowly. Victoriously. "There is something wrong with you, isn't it? You're not like any of the others I-- You're not like anyone else I've ever met."

"Well, you're young," Elias says, amused. "You haven't met many people yet."

Jon frowns. "Are there others?" he asks. "How many? Is this a -- what, a polite zombie apocalypse? Vampires? A strange mutant gene?"

"Nothing as dull as that, I'm afraid; but shouldn't we start at the beginning, Jonathan? What don't you tell me what you see?"

"I --" Jon wavers, hesitant. Elias decides he might as well make a proper gesture of goodwill, and leaves work fully behind to get up, closing the distance between Jon to offer him his hand, the very same Jon had only accepted to shake after being hired with his little black gloves on. Jon looks back at him, takes a deep breath, and remove the very same glove from his left hand this time and, very carefully, brush his fingers over Elias' opened palm.

Elias shudders; despite centuries of life, there is still something sickeningly terrifying about watching his skin immediately wrinkle and pale, a few patch of it simply falling off into ashes to reveal dull, white bone underneath -- no blood, no warmth, nothing but the End --

It's ever so embarassing to be the first to remove his hand, but he does it all the same. All the while Jon's eyes have darkened still, somehow, and now they stare at him with such bottomless, cold hunger that Elias worries a moment he'll push; Elias also cannot help but lean forwards. What if they kissed? he wonders. Would Jon manage to undo centuries of good and horrid work in a moment? Does Jon have the power to kill yet, or will the fear still be enough to sustain him, once he grow stronger? It's something Elias usually appreciate, how passive Death can be in its certainty It shall always get what It wants in the End.

But then his God goes and picks some young avatars like Jon, brimming with life and the urge for action, and it begs the question --

"You should be dead," Jon murmurs. "And that still makes you afraid, even now. I can see -- every second you are stealing from others, every missed heartbeats that sends you hunting, every moment you are walking when you should be rotting in the earth and I know -- I know you know that you are already rotting, as we speak; you live and talk and breath but you are dead, you've been dead for centuries --"

"It's a bargain I've made, and it's not entirely displeasing, usually," Elias says, after a beat. Jon blinks and seems to come back to himself, his face crumbling into a mixture of guilt, curiosity and terror, and he hastily put his glove back on. "Very impressive," Elias tells him, to regain full control of his senses and the situation. "Is that how it is for everyone you touch, then?"

"...Yes," Jon mutters, reluctantly, fleeing his gaze now. "It -- it didn't use to be so... so much but it's been getting... hard. Since university."

"Fascinating," Elias breathes. Terrible, the way he has to resist his own impulsve to embrace Jon fully. The body has a funny way of craving Death in all its form, even when the mind firmly wants it away. "Why don't you sit down, then? Let's talk about it all. There is many things we might be able to do for one another in the long run, I'm rather sure of it."

[altraviolet]

read that one ask asking for a sequel so. pulling up to say, yes, interested in that completely original TF fic you're working on. :D and yeah, also interested in knowing how you'd put SW thru the wringer in a sequel. and while there's other methods than heavy emotional monster of a story, ex. drabbles, snipplets, little slice-of-life bits like you said, i figure at that point you'd just want to roll it all+the effort into ex. that original fic? also, question, i don't remember it being explicity stated - what happened to the little subplot of SW dreaming of his processor/the dimensional-web-thing and going over the maps/patterns of the LL's jumps? i remember it being stated he couldn't figure it out? did it roll into the later subplots (crystals, the god-megatron bit, etc) in a subtle way and i simply missed it, or did it become one of the open-ended-no-answer points at the end that SW could eventually learn? i feel like it simply faded off into the background and never cropped up again but i doubt you'd leave such a loose thread. so i'm probably forgetting something. ohwait, the portal bit. is that what it rolled into? but i thought that cropped up from the crystal frequencies/single mention of (i think it was) "nooo, the energy's BETWEEN the strings" or whatever statement was made that lead to the portal subplot. (sigh, i'll sit down and reread the fic again soon. so many fun tiny peices.)

Hi!

>interested in that completely original TF fic you're working on. :D Thank you! I appreciate that =D

>also interested in knowing how you'd put SW thru the wringer in a sequel wellllllll for a start, he's still got that hunger rolling around inside him... that could go all kinds of badly... 😬

>i figure at that point you'd just want to roll it all+the effort into ex. that original fic? Yup! this might sound weird, but drabbles/slice of life/quite short stories would be very easy. I can do them in my head and they feel... like, uncomplicated. fluffy and fun and easy, which has its place in fanfic for sure, but I need to challenge myself to be a better writer in long form ;A;

gonna put your questions after the jump :)

>what happened to the little subplot of SW dreaming of his processor/the dimensional-web-thing and going over the maps/patterns of the LL's jumps?

yup yup ok this is two different things

In the very beginning of the story, Soundwave dreams this:

The structures were made of stars connected by thin lines, pure and vibrant, as if from a spool of thread made from his spark. They towered like constellations over the landscape of his processor. They vibrated like plucked strings, each note filling the space between the stars with... data...

data he couldn't define...

The stars are atoms, the lines are like, the arrangement of the atoms (as seen in diagrams) in crystals. He cannot define the data at this time because his emotion suppressing protocols are still (kind of) working.

The only thing he understood about this dream was that the structures and the sounds they produced were linked. Not just linked, they were one and the same. They were visual and auditory representations of data in his processor, flowing together and coming apart again. Their mixing produced a third type of data that he couldn't define. It manifested itself viscerally as something like a field pulse, hovering between the latticework.

"visual and auditory... flowing together" is supposed to prepare the reader for the idea that, for Soundwave, his sensing organs mix the senses. It foreshadows this:

my spark is linked to my primary tentacle. its tendrils are my spark-senses-the-world, my ears-become-eyes and eyes-become-ears

The part about Their mixing produced a third type of data that he couldn't define... something like a field pulse means that the visual and auditory stuff combines together to make emotions (mechs express their emotions through their fields/field pulses). Emotions are the third type of data, and he cannot define them at this point in the story because he does not feel emotion (mostly).

SO all that stuff is foreshadowing the fact that Soundwave is missing part of his processor, it has to do with his senses, his ability to sense, and his emotions.

Nowwwwww the map of the LL's jumps - the one that Brainstorm sneaks into his hab suite - that was something I wrote before I fully knew how the story was going. It was something I thought Soundwave was going to end up dealing with - frankly, becoming powerful enough to fully understand it (aka 2938 Megatron levels)- but that power level seemed too high for how he was turning out by the middle of the story. That thread did, indeed, fade over time, and I wrapped it up at the end with Brainstorm saying “There are infinite dimensions to jump to. Infinity is a big number, Rodimus. Why should we have repeats, when we've not even jumped through a million dimensions? Let alone a billion? Or a trillion? Or a quadrillion? Or-”

Which, admittedly, isn't as neat and tidy as everything else in the story (although I do like it and it makes complete sense), but what you see on AO3 is literally the first draft xD it's the very first, fully written draft of the story. and if I could go back, I would try to neaten it up for sure

The portal subplot was also something where there were several avenues happening at once. at first I was going to have Soundwave figure out how to build a portal by infiltrating Astrotrain on the Irradion (Soundwave does do that in the story, and Cyberverse Astrotrain is able to make dimension-crossing portals, and it seems to be a power he possesses, not special tech). But that would mean that SW basically stole the data: it's not very proactive for him to do as a character, aka, it'd be better if he figured it out himself.

I also had some little whispers of things going on in the back of Soundwave's head- for this avenue, it would be that he remembered how he used the groundbridges on the Nemesis. but I eventually decided to tie it into something more intrinsic and important to the plot- his crystals. though, informally, the Astrotrain data and the Nemesis knowledge did help SW develop the 'song' for the portal to play

Hope that answered your questions =) thanks for the fun questions and for reading!

[puppy-phum]

tag game ✨

thanks for tagging me zey @thasorns ♥ i teared up at your addition about me, that is so sweet :( i miss our dff talks too! idk what you're into these days but would love to talk about some show with you again :')

-

1. why did you choose your url?

bc am obsessed with one (1) man who belongs to another amazing guy ♥ (been thinking about an url change lately tho bc i'd like to put last twilight and the hurt it caused behind me but haven't found something else to tie myself to yet. maybe we are and phumpeem if the ending delivers?)

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

not really. the only side blog i have is my og url vishcount saved for nostalgia purposes but there's nothing on that blog

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

started on this hellsite (affectionate) on the lord's year 2013 and it shows

4. do you have a queue tag?

i don't use the queue much so no. you will only catch me reblogging like ten posts in a row when am online/in the mood and then going back to lurking again

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? 

i was into a bunch of animes and tumblr was filled with amazing fanart. i wanted to be able to look at them in peace

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

to show who my url is about ♥ mork my beloved

7. why did you choose your header?

wanted it to fit the theme. also i adore the last twilight rooftop kiss, it's one of the brightest spots of the show

8. what’s your post with the most notes? 

most likely this the untamed edit from 2020. i was truly living my peak back then :'D tbh i feel like the whole of tumblr was living its peak when the untamed was airing and when we all lost it together for the longest time after

9. how many mutuals do you have?

way too many and i adore all of them, tho i probably forget or cannot recognize most of them. especially if you've changed your url/main fandom OR i have, we might not even know each other anymore haha

10. how many followers do you have?

more than i deserve and idk what all of you are even doing here but i like feeling like i'm part of some type of crowd ♥

11. how many people do you follow?

quite recently i unfollowed some inactive blogs and blogs about things i don't really care for anymore so my follow count is a nice number of 205

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

uh. i don't really know? do some posts from my finnish tumblr (suomitumppu) era count? :'D

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

am chronically online and i open this app like a fridge

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no, not really. am not really one to share strong opinions, especially negative opinions, publicly online which i think is the cause of most arguments ppl have here. i'd rather just keep my peace and be nice

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts 

mostly i don't like doing things when am told to do them

16. do you like tag games?

yes! it always makes me happy to know that someone is thinking about me and i do find these a lot of fun to do ^^

17. do you like ask games?

also yes. i just don't often reblog those bc i don't really have a lot of interactions on this site. if i find an ask game with very interesting questions, i might forward it to kiddo @i-am-just-a-kiddo and we do it together privately to enjoy it like that ♥

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

the first one that comes to mind is hanyi @ruanbaijie who i think deserves all the recognition for her absolutely amazing giffing skills ♥ she's also the sweetest so idk what's not to follow, make her even more famous if you can!

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nope. idk if i function like that tbh. i have some huge friend crushes tho and want to be closer with some ppl a lot! not mentioning names bc am shy haha

but i want to say that monica @stormyoceans is very important to me these days. she brightens up my days and makes my whole fandom experience so much better by simply being her enthusiastic and authentic self ♥ never change!

and also jessi @oswlld who i still cannot believe is someone i can call my friend and bestie on this site. i am so happy we've gotten to share bad buddy, vice versa, and last twilight together! also happy to hear about your life at times and to just share silly things with you ♥

third one i want to mention is shannen @icouldhyperfixatehim who always manages to stand out in a positive way. we don't interact much but i cannot help but feel very giddy about their presence on my dash. they leave the best tags and every time they reblog any of my edits with their tags, they manage to make me feel like i've made it and my edit was worth the effort :'D so thank you!

20. tags?

want to tag at least @psychic-waffles @foxofninetales @hils79 @sherrymagic @srnileforme and @thitiponqs ♥ also the ones i mentioned before are free to join and anyone else who wants to do this!

[angelicyoongie]

hi ^^

I'm finally more concretely baaaack!! & I finally found time to properly dedicate to your amazing work!!

how are u doing? summer basically finishing so I hope you'll enter last days of summer/early autumn well rested, healthy & w/ no regrets <333

I finally caught up to Abundance & i'm soooo happyyy, i've missed this fic soo much xd

every ch left me w/ so many thoughts, sooo much excitement & just an overall sense of satisfaction at how smooth & rewarding your writing style & narration style are!

so i may ramble a lil bit abt it now if u don't mind XD (u don't have to read all of it or reply btw, no pressure ;D )

1st of all i wanna recognise how usually it's harder to keep tabs on multiple characters, even more if they are all important & heavily involved in the plot (esp in ff that are poly or w/ multiple different kinds of relationships & relations between characters ) but you've done nothing but a great job at handling this! each character gets their time, their moments, their own space & pace for development & involvement in the plot & it all feels very balanced!

definetely not in order '^^

i also wanna scream at the idea of the pack-mark?? i thought i loved already the hybrid concept but this just elevated it o the next level! & the difference in the mark being platonic or romantic & it being also different from the concept of mate-mark?? i can't wait to see how this puzzle piece fits into the canines arrangement in the future

returning to the 1st point, to strenghten my love w/ your writing style there's also the way u write the mc!! istg i'm this close to start crushing on her instead lmaoo. no but the way u wrote her feels way more natural & genuine than an air-head type or a perfect-never-makes-mistakes literal angel type, she feels like an actual proper developed character that is human & obvi makes mistakes but that is also a good person that has a pretty strong sense of responsability/duty, is very mature & level headed (finally an mc that doesn't behave/think like a 12 y.o lmao). i love how even tho she still learning & doesn't know everything already, she always tries to take the better choice either based on her judgement or by seeking to learn more abt the hybrids by asking them directly, w/out shame or fear to ask them abt themselves & hybrids in general.

wrds cannot emphasize enough how grateful i am that she’s not simply just flustered all the time & getting ping-ponged by the guys, she is her own person 1st & takes srsly her own responsibilities & actually wants to treat them as just any other human person while also accommodating & recognising their diff hybrid needs instead of just being all a condescending “omg, they’r so hot, omg their so cute” all the time. she wants to learn & respect their natural instincts & doesn’t fault them 4 having them but also wants them to wrk through the ones that may be harmful to others around them.

onto the last point above, i can't help but appreciate the constant in the story of hybrids not being able to simply wish away their strongest instincts or miraculously gain control over them simply bc of their love 4 mc’s .NO, there is an actual learning curve & episodes of dealing w/ shame,guilt & sense of helplessness, of predators feeling uncomfortable at feeling or having felt certain instincts as their relations w/ the preys change & evolve( as an example)

but at the same time in the build up of the story, the hybrids instincts are never used as plot device to excuse/justify actions that cross the limit (incidents/hybrid on hybrid crimes, agression, violence & the fact that even tho jin & jk were in rut/pre-rut, they were still adamant abt respecting mc boundaries & consent & not " get their way" & simply blame it on “instinct”bs .-. that was refreshing to see lmao)

in your wrld building, i really love how u handled the characterisation of the roles of prey & predator in hybrids & didn't go w/ just usual/easier expected stereotypical depictions. even tho there’s a difference between predators & prey, they still clearly have a consciousness & an important inner emotional reaction at seeing 1st person the reality of prey hybrids, they’s not just animals & they’s not just jerks/assholes, they are actual ppl that had each their own struggles, traumas & lessons & that up until now where only used to relying on their pack to survive or themselves (case of rogues etc) & drive off anybody else to stay safe but not all of them would go out of their way to hurt prey hybrids, it depends on the personal level & not all of them will be swayed off their feet & fall head over heels for the 1st prey hybrid they interact w/, w/out even getting to know them & later trust them & develop normally a closeness to them.

talking abt trust...

after the nth hurt, esp the predators(namjoon,jimin) have learned to surround themselves w/ walls & to not get attached easily & it’s very interesting to see their different inner fights in trying to let go of that while also struggling w/ the need to still feel safe & in control, 2 things that ‘till now they got by keeping to themselves & to their packs.

& although there have been multiple instances in which nj starting doubting mc or started feeling that safety slip away & started pulling back, or jimin & the others were in denial to their own feelings & pull to get closer to other hybrids outside of the pack & lower their guard, after a pretty difficult process & many mistakes it’s slowly starting to happen!! at a pace that i’m sooooo glad u actually took time & effort to develop in a way that feels very natural & curated! i’m sure that it’s not easy to write like this at all & every ch is different & sometimes the wrds don’t feel right or they don’t come etc but i’m just so incredibly happy that u continued to persevere through that in this fic bc the results are a damn masterpiece!!

ALSO,TESTIMONY TO YOUR SHARP & AMAZING WRITING SKILLS:

i nearly lost my mind at your description of nj inner turmoil w/ primary colours(blue & yellow) that clash & then merge into his confused uncomfortable state (murky green) . i literally kept re-reading that part bc it was just sooo pretty 😭

...tumblr doesn't have yellow so let's just pretend XD

& the subtle hints & nj fear of repeated rejection? i’m not sure if maybe i’m interpreting it wrong & it’s not smth that he already had to deal in the past but i’m looking forward regardless.

& the way no part of the plot gets neglected?? hello? bc while all of this is going on w/ the hybrids, mc’s life outside of this bubble is taking turn after turn w/ her wrk & it’s getting sooo interesting,soo intriguing w/ all the dots connecting & the mystery getting bigger & more rabbit-holey😍😍😍

& can i just say that i never trusted hajoon from the beginning?!!! his reaction to mc saying they don’t investigate money laundering bc it’s more of a “officer/investigator” job & him finding it amusing almost like he knows she’s technically already doing that w/ the other company but she just confirmed that the law firm can’t find the necessary info by themselves so other ppl get involved like investigators & informants …. & then the overlap of the 2 cases?? the cliffhanger?? the 3 names popping up again?? & she might have fallen into a trap & just fed hajoon the ones that might have worked w/ her to testimony against the shady company involved in hybrid trafficking... or actually hajoon found a way to frame those 3 to make it harder 4 their testimony to be believable in case they get involved to help mc w/ her case against Lim's. or maybe it's smth else entirely & i'm off my rails XD

we still don't know that much abt hajoon or mc's informant & there's always the possibility of a mole being at the law firm, maybe even somebody that knows mc closely, doesn't attract much attention & regularly looks through files,appointments & schedules😳 now i'm just freely speculating off my head XD

lastly bc i don't wanna exaggerate w/ the walls of rambling (might be too late tho so srry abt that😅), i'm absolutely knees deep infatuated w/ the little details/quirks/facets of personality u give each hybrid:

namjoon's intimidating edge being softened thanks to his clumsiness & puppy-like moments, jin's softer & more attentive way of subtly asserting his role as alpha/hyung, tae's simple often straightforward natural sweetness & inclination of being curious & playful, hobi's unexpected strenght & comforting sweet personality that often acts as a damper in intense moments, jk's perseverance towards more indipendency & his struggles w/ self-worth, jimin's stark contrast between how he carries himself in front of others & his own inner insecurities & fears of abandonment, yoongi's new perspective on love & it simply adding up not substracting at admitting his crush on jin & helping jimin accept his own changes in his emotions & feelings toward the other hybrids.

i have soooo many more but i don't wanna push it😫

in the end i just hope u had lots of fun & feel proud of how this series is turning out! obvi as always no pressure & make sure to take your time & continue writing when & as long as it feels right^^

hello!! thank you so much, i'm doing well 🥺 i hope the beginning of autumn is treating you well too! i'm sorry it took me so long to reply to this ask but the truth was that i didn't want to share it just yet, lol 😭 this ask arrived in my inbox just as i was trying (and failing) to begin writing for abundance again. i kept psyching myself out, thinking that my break had been too long and i wouldn't be able to capture the essence of the characters anymore – so what was even the use of trying if i was only going to fail? but then this popped into my inbox and it just made me feel so.. seen. you pointed out and acknowledged so many aspects of the story that i love and feel proud of, and it was truly the boost i needed. i've been coming back to this almost every day as i've been writing, so i just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart 💖💖

i will say that having eight main characters is a puzzle that doesn't always line up, but i do try my best to make up for it whenever i can! if a character isn't very prominent in one ch, it's likely that they'll get more attention in the next or that i'm "saving" them for a bigger scene that needs more build up. but i'm glad you think i'm going a good job at juggling all of them, tysm :')

i always try to think of ways to add a little something extra to my stories, something that makes it feel like it's not just a direct copy of every other fic in that trope. dividing the boys into predator/prey packs and giving them different marks (platonic/romantic) was such a 'simple' but effective way of introducing a lot of drama and conflict into the story. i'm a slow burn girlie at the end of the day and i knew that the pay off of all of the packs becoming one would be that much sweeter if they actually started off truly disliking each other and not just becoming lovey dovey after two chapters.

i'm honestly so ecstatic that you love the MC so much, that makes me so happy!! it's taken some trial and error, but i've tried my best to create a MC/reader that makes realistic choices and is someone that the majority might be able to see themselves in. she's not perfect, she makes mistakes and she feels horrible when she does, but she also tries to fix things when she messes up and doesn't just expect them to work out on their own. it just doesn't make sense to have an MC that knows everything about hybrids when she's never owned one before (or really had any interest in them) so part of the challenge for her is to actually learn about their needs in relation to who they are as people and not just assume that she knows best because she's fully human.

thank you!! i've really tried to balance the human and animal part of them as much as possible in this fic. they may have instincts and knee-jerk reactions to situations that are fueled by their animal DNA but that doesn't mean that their human brain completely checks out. it was important to me to show that much like the MC, hybrids can have prejudice too, and that they can learn & grow over time. i'm so happy that you pointed out the fact that their instincts are never used to excuse their actions – that was one thing i didn't want to happen. like i said, they're just as much human as they are animal, so it's not a valid reason for them to ignore morals or boundaries.

yes! i didn't just want to slap a predator label on some of them and go "okay, you guys are scary and mean" and make the preys meek and docile for the entire story. they still have individuality and personality regardless of if they're classified as predator or prey. they have all had different experiences that have shaped them into who they are but that doesn't make them heartless or incapable of change. the predators have never noticed how much their biology affects prey hybrids until they met jinkook, so it makes sense that their guilt would eventually catch up with them when they stop thinking of the preys as competition that needs to be eliminated.

trust is a big part of this fic and it manifests in so many different ways! they're all finally beginning to open up and understand that they're safe, and i think it's especially satifisfying to see namjoon and jimin finally let their walls down :') there were times that i was worried i was going to slow but i really do think that this pace was necessary - there was just too much that needed to be unpacked and adressed for it to happen any sooner. and no, it has definitely not been easy, but it does feel more than worth it when i get such a lovely review as this 😭

i'm so happy you pointed out that scene with joon, bc i really liked using the colours to represent his emotions!! and you're not interpreting it wrong, it's definitely a big fear for him!

i know that most readers are only here for the boys and not so much the mc's work, but i really do think it adds to the story! there are some connections coming up that have been slowly been hinted at throughout the story so far, so i'm excited for that to come together soon. hajoon is very sus and you're right in not trusting him 🙈 i'm not going to say what it is exactly, but you are indeed on to something regarding the case 👀

i can't have my babies be one-dimensional! i put a lot of thought into making sure that each character had its own strengths and weaknesses and how that would affect them in different ways. truly, thank you so much for recognizing all of the hard work i've put into developing the story and the characters, it means more than you know 😭

i cannot thank you enough for leaving me such an incredible review/comment, it has made me cry (happy tears!) every time i've looked at it and it has helped me remember all of the things i loved about writing the story. i'm truly so so grateful 💖💖💖

[pinksparkl]

Spoilers for "A Deal With the Fallen Gods"

Wow!

RIP Blake... after how he spoke to D'Deridahn, I don't think he's gonna be left with much of himself...

And the music - the Veil - very spooky, very ominous. No wonder d(a)emons describe everything in musical terms. Although, I assume that d(a)emons never encounter the Veil, on account of just ceasing to exist when they die. So what's on the other side of the Veil that causes it to make music? Is it Aria trying to bring empowered peoples' magical cores "back home"? Or am I just over-thinking this as always? 😂

So D'Deridahn is the Sovereign of Gravity (so had a hand in creating the Graviton Energetics) as well as the "father" of Sadism demons. Interesting information indeed~ *lore gremlin is happy with this episode*

And oooooooh~~

So that's what happened with the first (feral/monstrous) Vampires. Good to know that we won't bump into what could have been an absolute nightmare situation.

So nice of E'Laetum to spare them that kind of existence, yet unintentionally burden them with power normally too immense for a human. Whoopsie~

And there goes the "Porter could be a Seer" theory. Damn... so he's just a really dedicated student then, to be able to wield so many disciplines of magic with a weakened Vampiric core. Wow. I am impressed!

So if a Seer cannot be Turned... what happens if a Vampire was to try? Would the Seer just die? Or would their magic just prevent the vamp from getting that far? Like a firewall preventing cyber attacks.

I'm slightly leaning more to the Blake = Hush side of things now, but I'm not entirely convinced... Hush doesn't have a core. Blake has a core that was imbued with a fragment of a Sovereign's power (which explains why they can have the capability to excel at all types of magic) unless agreeing to the Sovereign's will takes away his core, I'm unsure as to why Hush would (unintentionally) lie...

So, extrapolating from all of that - and bouncing away from the main focus for a second - Imperium!E'Laetum did not commit this act of mercy. This is the reason why there are no Seers in the Imperium. Instead there are feral-vamps. I need to see/hear them! We need to go back!!

*rattles and pulls on the bars of the Imperium* "Let me iiiiiiin!!"

I need to know how much of a problem they are~~~ Pleeeeeeeease~~~

Also! If Blake is Hush, hooo boy, he's gonna have some serious explaining to do when he fixes up the Vega-shaped cosmic-jigsaw that's currently floating around the main meeting hall of CloseKnit's office in Dahlia.

When Vega is reformed - provided the Blake = Hush theory is true - I wonder if Vega could sense D'Deridahn's "essence" on/in him after spending a little longer in his presence. That's gonna be one hell of a conversation.

And- wait, wait, wait! D'Deridahn said that they'd simply call on another Seer. Which would mean that they've been messing with other Seers' Visions in hopes of luring them into Death? I wonder who else has been having weird Visions they couldn't explain... *worriedly looks at Seer Obscura*

[the-starry-seas]

Heyyy~ For the ask game: B D E J R X with the choosen ship of yours <3

mwah <3 also this ask game has made me realise that I don't actually know what rarepairs are in my fandoms LOL but this one is for Han and Lando!

B - What's your favorite thing about this ship?

They simply annoy the ever-living fuck out of each other constantly. Like you can absolutely see them arguing with each other as foreplay, My Cousin Vinny style. They're both that 'scoundrel with a heart of gold' sort of type of character and I simpy love that in a ship.

Also they have history! Such history! And I love when you can have an 'old friend' dynamic like Magneto and Prof X. Also I really need Han to know that Lando's full name is *checks notes* Landonis Balthazar Calrissian. Who did that.

Bickering like an old married couple, constantly tricking each other, the custody arguments over the Falcon are legendary, they bring up so many past misbehaviours to one-up each other, but at the end of the day... they're stealing from each others' hotel rooms and leaving a note signed with a "be better next time <3", and I love that for them.

D- Is this ship an OTP or do you also multiship these characters with other people? If the latter, is it your favorite of the multiships? Why or why not?

I don't ship Lando with anyone else. But alas Han/Lando cannot beat Han/Leia... I simply love Leia too much.

E - Do you have any favorite headcanons for this ship?

Whenever they hook up, they steal the Falcon from each other. It's just an expected thing at this point.

Lando is a snacker and keeps getting crumbs in the bed and Han is ready to stab him every time because food! goes! in! the! kitchen!

They have matching tattoos. Yes they were drunk. No neither of them have ever looked into getting it removed. (They're tramp stamps of the Falcon.)

Lando always brings champagne to their hookups even if he doesn't have any notice. It lowkey annoys Han because where does he even get it from???

They always go to the same hotel and never have use the same name or credit card. The desk staff is all well aware of what's happening and think they're funny.

Han showed up with a beard once and Lando reflexively shot at him.

Han likes flipping poker chips in the air when he's bored. It drives Lando nuts because Han uses the metal chips that are shiny and catch Lando's eye and distract him.

Once they accidentally set a hotel room on fire by knocking over a table with candles on it. They both say the other did it on purpose.

They always go halves on dinner/date costs while snarking at each other the whole time about freeloading and handouts and sugar daddies. They've confused so many waiters.

J - What kind of dynamic(s) does this ship have or do you imagine it would have (friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining, A fell first B fell harder, etc.)?

Oh this is absolutely enemies to lovers LOL Plus some slow burn, I think... they're snarky and eyefucking but they don't realise it's what they're doing for... a while. Everyone else does, it's fine, and are so deeply annoyed with them. They're both the kind of people who flirt with everyone so it's a while before they realise they're serious about each other and not just angling for a one night stand like they would be with anyone else.

R - Are there any songs you associate with this ship?

Ooh! Yes! For more general vibes, I looove Always Gold by Radical Face. And they said you were the crooked kind / And that you'd never have no worth / But you were always gold to me

Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars - Don't care if he's guilty, don't care if he's not / He's good and he's bad and he's all that I've got

Baby by Bishop Briggs - My baby's misunderstood / How could something so bad look so damn good / Yeah he's still my baby / Yeah he's fuckin' crazy but he's still my baby

After the whole 'sold Han out to Vader' thing, you have the sad love song called Never Love An Anchor. With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful / There is love that doesn't have a place to rest

Minefields by Faouzia & John Legend - Maybe I'm just a fool / I still belong with you / Anywhere you, anywhere you are / These minefields that I walk through / What I risk to be close to you

Also, while not a song, there's a poem with the line: I do not want to see him go up in flames the way all heroes end up martyrs. And hm. Yeah.

X - What are their primary love languages and how do they prefer to express their love for each other?

Is 'annoying each other' a love language? Acts of disservice, perhaps? Jokes aside I think they share gift-giving and words of affirmation and neither of them will admit it. They have an inordinate amount of trinkets, however. Mutual praise kink, woo!

[moose-mousse]

What are strings???

So, on the codeblr discord there was a question which is hard to answer unless you already fully understand what a string is... So, what is a string?

And this is a great question! Because to answer it we will learn a hell of a lot!

To answer this, one needs to know what an array really is. This is important in any language you write in. But in most languages it only becomes important to know when you get to optimizing code.

So for most, it is fine to think of arrays simply as collections. But in C, you need to know what they truly are to work with them (Which is why newbies are often taught C to learn these things)

I will use drawings and links to godbolt code examples I made, to help you understand things.

To explain what strings and arrays are, I will use a trick that you may also want to copy if you have a hard time learning concept in programming or electronics.

Try to to "re-invent" it. By going step by step into the things that required it to be invented, and how it was done.

So arrays. They are a way of storing many variables in one place, and work on them very very efficiently.

We start with having variables. Each variable have an address where they are in memory, and a value at that address.

An address is just a number. Nothing more. But to make it clear when we are talking about them, traditionally you write it in HEX. These numbers are marked with "0x", as in, to write "6" in Hex, we write "0x6"

Now, on each address you can store 8 bit. To store values that are larger, we use more than one memory address.

Ok, with all info, let us draw the example we will use, and write the code:

We will have 3 numbers. Each takes 16 bits:

https://gcc.godbolt.org/z/cse64Kd6x

(Notice that the adresses counts DOWN. This is for stack and heap reasons we will not explain here. But just know that we count DOWN, not up when it comes to adresses on the stack, which is all we will work with here.)

If we know the type of a variable, we also know how much space it takes.

So to really know a variable, we need to know its type, and its memory address.

Now, if we create these variables one after the other they will be placed right next to each other in memory.

Then we can create a pointer! A pointer have a type they point to, so it knows how much space the variables takes, and a memory address. We will create it pointing at the first variable!

Let us draw it on the example:

https://gcc.godbolt.org/z/9abqMjrs3

And now, if we want to work on all of our values, we simply do whatever we want, and then subtract 2 from the pointer to get to the next value, and then work on that one, and so on.

If we want to add 1 to every value, we could do this:

Step 1, add 1

Step 2: Move pointer

Step 3: Add 1

And so on and on! :D

https://gcc.godbolt.org/z/7KGadT868

This is how arrays works. But instead of us having to remember to count DOWN, and what size variables are we have gotten all this build into the language. It also GARANTEES that the variables are placed next to each-other in memory (This is not actually guaranteed when you use single variables like we have in the examples... NAUGTY US!)

So this code does exactly the same as we just did. And as you can see it is MUCH easier:

https://gcc.godbolt.org/z/KWxc939v4

So as you can see, a array is... more or less a pointer that you cannot change (because it always point at the first element), also known as a const pointer. And instead of moving the pointer, we use the index... which is just "The adress of the first variable, and then move it down as many times as the variables size times the variable number we want"

And a string... is a specific kind of array we often need, because we often need strings of characters. A string is a array containing elements that are characters.

If you are using ASCII, that is 8 bit signed values

If you are using UTF-16 then it is 16 bit signed values

See? It is super easy to explain what strings are!

... IF you know what arrays are... and why we use them....

[edens-notesfromthegarden]

v1/zadkiel || gore :D (wip)

inspired by this post by @8o8o8o8o8

the aches could no longer go ignored.

zadkiel could feel it all, poking and prodding and digging into the deepest parts of himself that he was too scared to reach into. everything he had bottled up over the past few centuries, threatening to rip him apart from the inside out.

the last time he had ever unearthed those emotions was before he left heaven. too much now laid festering inside him, and he had to remove it.

zadkiel couldn't dare ask the prime souls to aid him; the work that needed to be done was far to visceral to expose them to it. gabriel was assuredly also out of the question, knowing many of the things trapped inside were brought about because of him.

which only left one.

they had taken v1 to a bathing pool in limbo, and brought along a basket, plastic mat and sharp blade. it watched them curiously as they set the items up, not moving from their place on the mat.

"so... angels have an odd function," zadkiel began explaining as he finished preparations. they sat down in front of v1, holding the knife in their hands. "we were made to serve diligently and without hesitation. humans would lose faith in us otherwise. in turn, we were told by Him that we cannot show strong emotions, lest we scare or deter those who believe in Him. Doing so does not come without its consequences, however."

unlike his usual methods, zadkiel disrobed himself properly instead of simply willing it away with his staff. the clutch on the knife grew tighter.

"in turn, these strong emotions, these thoughts that plagued the back of our minds... they physically manifest inside of us. they can take on many shapes, but its usually recommended to... clean them out, every so often, as to void the feelings quite literally killing you."

v1 silently looked down at the knife, and back to zadkiel. the angel took a deep, shuddering breath.

"v, i haven't done this in... far too long, and i'll need your help to properly clean myself of these feelings."

zadkiel pressed the knife into v1's hands, as if it had burnt their own to hold. v1 looked between the knife and the angel, before finally understanding what zadkiel was asking of it.

'you want me to...' its hand lingered for a moment, considering how to word its question. '...open you up?'

"quite literally, yes."

v1 quickly shook its head. 'no. i could hurt you.'

zadkiel scoffed quietly, "no worse than you do to gabe when you fight, right?"

'programming may hurt you. i do not want to hurt you.'

zadkiel sighed, a wobble to their lip. "v, please... i couldnt bear to ask minos and sisyphus, and i just... i just know gabriel will be the source of many of the objects you find. i couldnt bear to him to see how i felt about him while i was gone." he took v1's hands gently. "you're my best option... and im too scared to do it myself... i'm so sorry."

they both stared at each other silently, waiting for an answer. v1 could feel the shake in the angel's hands, see the tears welling behind their eyes: they were just as scared.

'you will stop me if i go too far. promise?'

zadkiel let out a pained sob, pulling v1 into a hug. "thank you. i'm so sorry. i will make up for this however you want, i promise."

zadkiel parted, laying himself down on the mat. v1 shifted themselves, hovering over the angel's body with the knife at hand.

'preferred cut?' it signed, slowly lowering the knife to zadkiel's chest

the angel took a deep breath. "i don't recall what humans would call the surgery type, or if it even was a type but... double door? directly through the middle and out the sides. you'll need access to all of it."

he smiled up at v1, tears in his eyes, and took the hand that held the knife, making it press the sharp blade against his skin. v1's wings flickered in agitation and concern, but zadkiel tried to soothe it by rubbing its other hand with a gentle touch.

"i'll be okay, i promise." zadkiel whispered, tone laced in anxiety. "angels are made to be resilient, y'know? i'll be right."

v1 could only quietly nod, and carefully press the blade into the skin.

[annepi-blog]

Writing meme about me!

Thanks for tagging me @daisyishedwig

1.How did you get into writing fanfiction?

This is probably my longest answer because I think I've kind of always done this?

I know my first hyperfixation was in 2nd grade with the Mighty Ducks cartoon series. I wrote headcanons for every character in a notebook and made up short stories before falling asleep, not knowing what fandom or fanfiction was.

I was introduced to fanfiction when I got Internet access and became obsessed with Lord of the Rings. That was the first time I ever read fanfiction online.

Shortly after that, my three best friends and I became huge fans of the band "The Rasmus" and I actually wrote my first fanfiction when I was 12. On paper, by hand! And I shared it with my friends in the schoolyard. They don't exist anymore, but I think it was really bad :D

Then I fell out of writing along with life, but I kept imagining stories for myself. 

I just started writing again last year. After I found Glee and Klaine during Covid, I started reading fanfiction again. When there was the attack on AO3 last year, I used the time and thought, why not write a fanfiction myself again.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Active on the Internet, sharing with the world, just for Klaine fandom.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

As mentioned above, somehow always, but only online for a year.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Definitely more reading! I also read in other fandoms like RWRB, Last Binding Series, or Heartstopper. Also recently read some 911 BuckTommy stories even though I have not seen the show because of all the content I see on tumblr :D

5. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Practice makes perfect. I think it just helps to do it.

For me personally, it helps to first outline the whole story from beginning to end and then write. I cannot just start without knowing where I am going with it, I would also lose motivation in between.

I am not a native speaker but I want to write in English so I try to improve by reading books and watching shows and movies in English.

6. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Since I am still pretty knew to real writing not too crazy things I think. Maybe, I read the whole rule book for the Eurovision Song Contest and I looked at the divorce law and procedure in New York City.

7. What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

Every comment! It makes me especially happy when people read through multi-chapter fics and comment on each chapter, telling me what they think might happen. But I appreciate every comment.

8. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Puh, I don't think I have any yet? The most uncommon thing so far might be that I wrote Klaine find each other when they were in their 50s. But I want to expand the tropes of my fiction in the future!

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

I would love to write something with action or mystery, but I just can't. I don't like what I've come up with so far, it's really hard for me.

10. What is the easiest type?

I think feelings, affection, chemistry between characters. I just love when people are happy, and I am a pretty positive person, so it is easy to project that into my writing.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

At home on my couch or bed with my laptop on my lap. I just cannot work sitting at a desk :D I used to write in Word, but switched to Google Docs because it is easier to share with betas.

12. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

As mentioned above, action or mystery, because I also like to read it. Or a fantasy world of my own. But I haven't had enough ideas for that yet.

13. What made you choose your username?

Simply put, it is based on my real name. When I signed up for AO3 and later tumblr I didn't think I would ever write, I just needed it to read the stories of others and didn't worry about it. Now I don't want to change it because it's already established.

I don't know who has already taken part, but I'm tagging @fallevs @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @nicoise @kurtsascot @cryscendo