#but i should have known that wasn't going to happen

[lemotmo]

She's replying to a lot so you will probably get more but this one is 🥳🩶🤧

Q. The way the show set them up as endgame only to cave to Oliver and others is such a joke. I'm honestly so embarrassed for you all.

A. I'm not going to lie anon when I read this tonight my original reply was going to be far different in tone than the one I'm going to give. I want so badly to tell you all of the things that I have bitten my tongue on for the last several months but this has been an emotionally crippling week for me so I'm going to give you the grace you don't deserve simply because I don't ever want to be the reason someone is suffering. Make no mistake I have saved several asks specifically to come back to and address once the breakup happened so I will express those thoughts and feelings but you're going to get the benefit of kindness that you didn't bother to extend. I'm going to be kind but I'm also going to be truthful.

The show didn't set them up as anything other than what Tommy said at the end of the episode. The show has been very transparent with what Tommy's purpose was. He was never going to be anything more than Buck's introduction to his bisexuality. He was always going to be the first not the last. And the show could not have been more obvious about that. I actually genuinely enjoyed that break-up scene. And while I know that you and others will take that as me making a dig at Tommy, that's not what I'm doing. He did the right thing. He did the fair thing for Buck and himself. He's been where Buck is. He cared enough about Buck to stop him from making a mistake that would hurt them both. He did a good thing. He did the right thing. I understand that doesn't make you feel better because we have all been there. We have all fallen for a plot device at some point or the other. It sucks. And it hurts. And I'm sorry that you're hurting. Lots of you don't deserve that sympathy. But in this moment I'm going to give it to you. Because no matter how insignificant some people believe pain over a fictional television character is it is genuine pain for those of us who love that character, regardless if anyone else understands that or not. It fucking hurts. So you can hurt. And you can rage. But you don't get to rage at Oliver. None of this is Oliver's fault. He was the one being honest with you all. I begged you all to listen to him. I begged you all to follow his lead. Because those of us who have been here knew what he was doing. He was trying to protect you all from your expectations. We've been on the receiving end of that. We know what it looks like. And more than one person in your fandom was aware of what he was doing as well because they were Buddie shippers first. They just decided to pretend that it wasn't what they knew it was.

I don't know how to make this part sound kind because the truth of it is unkind but it is what happened. He grifted you all. He knew he was temporary. He can say whatever he wants in an interview but he knew because the show wasn't subtle about his plotline. He knew he was temporary but he was aware enough of you all that he saw an opportunity for self promotion and he took it. At the expense of you. He sold you a tissue of lies. And he always wrapped them up just generic enough to allow him plausible deniability for intentionally misleading you. But that's what he did. He willingly and intentionally lied to you and he charged you a fee to do so. And it was disgusting. He's who you should be mad at. I know you won't. You all decided a long time ago that whatever happened was going to be Oliver's fault and Buddie fans fault. But neither one of them lied to you. He lied. You should care about that. It should bother you. Because it's foul and obscene. He took a shot at trying to force the show/network into giving him more of a role and it was a wild miscalculation on his part. That's not how these things work. He should have known that. I don't feel sorry for him. He did this to himself. I am sorry that so many of you feel played, but Oliver and the show didn't play you. Lou did. You all have the right to tell him. And you should. You're allowed to feel your pain but make sure your anger is aimed in the right direction. Take care of yourself though, anon. You can mourn the character but the actor doesn't deserve your tears. 💗

Thank you for dropping this post and it's follow-up in my inbox Nonny! Much appreciated!

Yep! I agree with a lot of this.

The only thing I don't agree with is that I didn't like that break up scene all that much. I really needed Buck to be the one to break up with Tommy. I understand why it went the way it did and it makes narrative sense in some way, but I still don't like it.

The way some of these people are blaming Oliver for this, for leading them on? That's insane. Lou is the one running around, telling blatant lies for money. And the racism towards Ryan?

Man, I hope all of these people just leave forever and never show their ugly asses in our fandom again.

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[batsplat]

greetings professor batsplat,

i recently heard somewhere about valentino having kicked someone else off the bike before the whole. sepang rosquez situation.

and i was wondering if you had any info on that / could shed light on the context? how it happened, what motivated him to do it perhaps etc.

thanks a lot <33

yeah I know why this gets brought up quite regularly, but tbh there's not much of a story behind it. valentino kicked someone, did not kick said someone 'off' the bike, didn't have complex motivations beyond venting some frustration. just the habitual problem of getting pissy about someone coasting on the racing line (x):

At the end of the 250 class qualifying, Italian Valentino Rossi, annoyed by a move by Yasu Hatakeyama, decided to practice kickboxing. Rossi "pressed" the Japanese rider against the edge of the track with his Aprilia and, bike to bike, threw a kick at the Japanese rider's thigh. The Italian, who had already hit his colleague's helmet at the Dutch GP, did not show the slightest remorse: "Every time I meet Hatakeyama, he closes me down. Today I was on the last lap and I could lower my time, and when I was going to pass him, he crossed the track and slowed down. I had to brake suddenly and I was very nervous. But I think that the next time I am about to pass him, he will not close me down." There were no penalties for Rossi, although both he and the Japanese rider received a verbal warning.

this was at argentina 1998 - here's the kick itself, courtesy of teenage valentino:

here's a HD clip of the kick as well as valentino's gesturing afterwards:

it's basically the exact same thing as casey kicking checa in 2007 or punching de puniet in 2011 (see here) for exactly the same reasons. or for a more recent example, take aleix slapping franky last year. riders are hotheads, they REALLY hate someone getting in their way when they're trying to do a lap, sometimes they lash out. this obviously does not mean it's a good idea and really should warrant some kind of penalty. neither valentino nor casey got penalties, but aleix got a six place grid drop. which, good! it's irresponsible and stupid, even if it's also admittedly kinda funny. still, it'd be pushing it to suggest there's much similarity between that and sepang 2015. although his description of the incident is fun (from oxley's vr files):

I got into a bit of trouble on Saturday for kicking the Japanese rider Yasu Hatakeyama at the end of the final qualifying session. I like to kick arse! I've had a lot of trouble with him all season - you go to pass him in practice and he shuts the door on you, even though he's going slow. I've spoken to him about it a few times and he always says "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" then goes and does it again at another race. It's very dangerous. On Saturday he took a short cut round the back of the circuit, and was going through this corner at about 20kph when I arrived on a very fast lap. It was really frightening, so I paid him back by kicking him as we returned to the pits.

how very casey of him

if you ARE looking for something a bit more relevant in terms of valentino using his body in the heat of battle, an even younger version of valentino might be able to help. this is all the way back in his rookie 1996 season - where he was known for his wild riding, especially in the early races that year, and on occasion did actually elbow AND knee his competitors in his determination to beat them. feral thing. in general, to my eyes valentino seems like he's quite good at using spatial awareness in w2w combat, of using the physical dimensions of his body to fight other riders... take for instance the finely judged knee retraction pass at catalunya 2009, how he immediately sticks his knee out again in front of jorge's line once he's past, that sort of thing

the most obvious example has to be the doctor's dangle - motogp urban legend ofc holds that it started in jerez 2005, where valentino wasn't actually using his leg to block sete, but since then? in popularising the habit of motogp riders of dangling their legs into corners, valentino also gave himself another nifty way of defending against opponents. sometimes it does look like he's using the dangled leg to quite literally block his rivals from passing... perhaps the most blatant examples of that come in motegi 2010, where he's willing to do whatever it takes to beat jorge. he does admittedly have plausible deniability in this race - the possibility that he was dangling his leg more excessively in order to help mitigate the shoulder injury. still, it's pretty comical at times

"When he does go through - if he does go through that corner, he's going to have to take Rossi's leg off!" "He is! Drag him along, I think."

I mean. come on. what is this. you cannot tell me this is ergonomically efficient. valentino did do this to some extent when he was behind jorge too, so I don't think the shoulder explanation is complete bullshit - but it does also feel like a bit of an opportunistic method of making his bike as broad as possible. jorge repeatedly almost rides into valentino's leg, including when he's finally had enough and makes the overtake that sets off the late battle between them. so yeah, valentino's definitely not a stranger in using his physicality to his advantage in conducting his wheel to wheel battles. one of the things that makes him so fun to watch

[gyuluttony]

gonna do something somewhat out there and out of nowhere. i just finished kinktober on my like... main wg account so i've missed doing kpop wg so i'm coming back with... zb1 SDFJSDF gunwook been attacking me lately so he's going to be the one feeling it now.

All-in

This is a feederism fic and features weight gain and unintentional weight gain. Don't like, don't read.

There was a dreamy sort of sigh that left the table in the library and it took one paper flying to cause the source of it to make an annoyed expression. "Yah! Kim Gyuvin!" The warm tone of Gunwook sounded a little more frustrated than usual as his friend held his finger in front of his lips, to shush him.

"You can't be too loud in the library, Gunwook~" The teasing tone almost made him jump over the table to show him who could be louder of the two before he felt the pointed gazes of the students around them and buried his head in his textbook, muttering curses towards his friend who barely had enough mercy to add quietly, "Just because Matthew hyung is here doesn't mean you should neglect your work."

His long crush on the older friend of theirs was something that was practically known by everyone in their friend group. And something that he couldn't help but get embarrassed about everytime someone pointed it out. He wasn't that subtle about it... and it wasn't aided by the fact that Matthew tended to treat him nicer than his heart knew how to react with.

"Gyuvin, I swear if you don't stop talking about it when he's this close by, I-" The words that left Gunwook were growing more threatening by the moment before he heard a loud exclamation. "Oh, Gyuvinnie and Gunwookie!" It was always nice that Matthew didn't seem to care about the negative glances for the loud volume but he only belated realized, offering a small apology and a sweet smile that no one could stay mad at as he approached.

"O-oh, hyung! Good to see you." Gunwook was severely underprepared for the way that Matthew sat next to him and leaned on his shoulder while Gyuvin tried not to laugh.

"H-hi, hyung." Gyuvin imitated his stammer which got a death glare shot in his direction before Matthew spoke again, "I didn't know you guys were studying here... but I brought some snacks for Taerae since he said that he wanted some." Gunwook tried his best not to visibly deflate at the thought before the snacks were placed in front of him.

"Huh? What are you doing, hyung?" Matthew stuck his tongue out as he added, "No one said he needed to get them all. I bought a lot so you can just have the extra instead. I know how much you love to eat." There was a pat on his head from the older man and Gunwook did his best to not beam before opening the box. Gyuvin rolled his eyes from across the table, texting someone about what he was witnessing in front of him.

While he dug into the snacks and made conversation with Matthew there were some things that came to mind. Taerae was a little bit on the heavier side. Not fat but chunky was a good way to describe him. It only made his dimples and smiles cuter and nicer to hug, something that Matthew was incredibly fond of. He had believed that Matthew was someone who had a crush on Taerae for a very long time... so maybe that was what he was missing.

Gunwook was a good gym buddy for Matthew... but what if he wanted something that was a little bit softer. Was that the best way to capture his attention? With a renewed vigor, Gunwook ate the snacks that Matthew had brought even faster, surprising both of his company. "Hyung, do you have any more?"

Gyuvin wasn't unaware to the way that Matthew's face seemed to warm up as he stammered for a response for a moment before furiously texting Ricky. They had made a bet on when something would happen between them after all but he couldn't really afford it to happen now... he was going to lose the bet.

"All I have is the stuff for Taerae... how about..." Matthew bit his lip with a smile that he was failing to hide. "I bring these to him and we can head out for something to eat?" Gunwook's eyes brightened before Matthew nearly stumbled out to get the treats to Taerae. Gunwook began to pack his notes while Gyuvin looked at him, "Seriously?"

"You told me to stop staring... so I'm doing something about it." Considering how smart Gunwook is, it should have occurred to him that Matthew practically sprinted back to him so that they could head out to get food while Gyuvin was trying to ease up Ricky on the bet so he wouldn't owe him too much.

-

As he jumped in his dorm room, Gunwook felt his face burn, feeling the way that the flab jiggled, trying to squeeze every possible extra inch of himself into the pants that no longer fit into his frame. It was almost like a dam was broken that day.

He had stopped going to the gym as much with Matthew but he was seeing him just as much, if not more. They were always getting food since Matthew excused it as wanting to treat his dongsaeng. But, Gunwook didn't realize that not working out combined with Matthew's constant treats would have results this fast.

He'd already let out this pair of pants twice since upsizing and now, his belly was sticking out from his body, proud and bloated with fat. Or food considering that Matthew treated him most meals in a day. It was always nice when he insisted on Gunwook trying something new and he loved it.

It's not like the weight was solely tied to his prominent belly but it settled in his thighs and glutes which wasn't really aiding the pants situation. They clung tightly to the plump thighs as well as didn't even make halfway up his ass as he tried hopping into them again, hearing a faint tear of fabric and how much the fat on his body jiggled at the motion.

While looking at himself in the mirror, Gunwook's hand absentmindedly rubbed his belly as he felt his face flush. Matthew had been a lot more touchy with him recently. Either holding his love handles or even sneaking squeezes on his belly which always made him think he was on the right track to getting his attention. After all, him blowing up was for him as well.

But, there was an enjoyment he was getting out of it as well. Feeling the way that his body expanded, burst out of belts sometimes and even was starting to get stuck in booths at the restaurants they frequented... there was a bliss in this... he just wanted to do it properly with Matthew at his side and just like his appetite, it was insatiable. He was no longer content with just being friends.

There was a knock on his dorm door. They had already made plans to go out again and while he wasn't ready in the slightest, he knew that his outfit (or lack of since he didn't fit in the button down that couldn't even close or his pants) would get the answer he wanted.

Opening the door, he heard Matthew's voice. "Gunwookie~ Are... you..." The happy voice trailed off before he looked down at the gut that was staring straight at him as he swallowed dryly. "I'm up here, hyung." Matthew's gaze needed to be torn away from the plump mass before Gunwook smiled. "Wanna order in?"

The feeling of Matthew's muscular body crashing into him and jostling his belly enough that the buttons he managed to get closed break told him everything that he needed. He had went all-in and got the pay out that he wanted... and soon, he was sure that he'd need to upsize again anyways now that his boyfriend was showing him just how much he appreciated that excess on his body.

[nightmare-from-heaven]

In this time it's important to remember that just because I wasn't Doing A Harm, doesn't mean that the other person isn't reacting to a very real Harm that's been being foisted on them with lots of damage points.

What I was doing maybe just looked similar to A Harm, and it was the 5000th little dismissal that broke the sanity's back. This does not mean that I was Doing A Harm. It's likely that I don't need to take on that burden. But it was legitimately Harm Shaped to them, and probably through a pretty fucking reasonable filter, tbh. So maybe we can make some not taking it personally for them.

But even if -oh shit- I *did* Do A Harm, well then that's just something to look at, fess up, find an actual apology for, and try to do different next time. It's usually (in the context of the internet) not a big enough Do Harm that I need to flail around about it.

BUT. Sometimes, my response to being told I'm Doing A Harm, is going to be to get pretty offended and fucking indignant, because I too have had people Do Harms to me, and I have my own filters for that shit running, all the time.

Right now, I think we're all entitled to some overreactions, and overreactions to those overreactions. That's really reasonable in this moment especially. We are freaking the fuck out, each in our own ways. I want us to all do our best to make space for overreacting to be happening, in other people AND in ourselves. And we don't have to double down to be right and righteous about whatever we were standing up for. We can just be like damn yeah I was overreacting bc of my own Harms received.

And in this back and forth, let us do our best to remember that who we're actually mad at, and who is Really Doing The Harms, is probably not any of us here.

I honestly think it's okay if we need to get a little messy right now. I think that's what the original reaction was saying. Human processing is not known to be a tidy process. What we *can* do is try to limit our Do Harms as much as possible, without contorting ourselves out of having needs and feelings, because that's just turning the Do Harms onto ourselves, which is just as much Harm, with just as much cleanup necessary afterwards.

There really should be a close that ties this all up nicely at the end, but I am wrecked y'all and have run out of wording brain. If anyone want to tie the things up tidy for me I am super down.

my other grounding technique is remembering that the earliest abolitionists & the earliest suffragists had no proof that the world would ever make possible what they fought for and indeed many of them did not live to see it come to pass. and yet they did not succumb to despair so it would be disrespectful to their memory to let it overtake me

[add1ctedt0you]

Sucker for pain

That's for all the writers who look at jiang cheng and decide to put him through other unimaginable woes. <3 As if his life wasn't rough enough lol.

[glitchviper]

as the year comes to a close another art year in review comes into being ft. ocs from @cjsees-art and @zeddertop-bugster (february and november respectively)

not my most improvement heavy year but i certainly got better and am proud of the things i’ve made and here's the link to the template

[obnoxiousarcade]

I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think

[liebelesbe]

I think the reason I'm still so weird about my lesbianism irl is because I came out before I was ready. I told myself I should just "get it over with", but it feels like somebody reached inside of me and pulled out some important organ that to this day feels like an open wound.

[kemihaydeestantonva]

Exactly this. And unfortunately, I can't say the same. Like I was trying to be vague in my wording to avoid trauma dumping but I'm tired. TW for death under the cut if you still don't get it by now let me spell it out for y'all.

My friend and roommate died at 28. Not a hand's width away from my face, I literally watched his eyes roll back and the life leave him and I have to live with the knowledge that I probably could have saved him had I acted sooner. I still, to this day, cannot bring myself to tell his mother that I had that window to save him (because at this point what is the use of telling her that, beyond tearing open the wound again?). I don't know how she'd react to that, and that terrified me. I don't think anymore that she would hate me, but I spent nearly ten years holding that knowledge inside myself. Murderer. Bad friend. Ruined so many lives. Should have been me instead.

Can you see how somebody like me would fixate on Blitzø and really connect with how tormented he is over that fire that took his mother? The realization of my worst fears - his family knowing it was his action that caused it, and HATING him for it.

Can you see how dismissing his trauma, or justifying how his family reacted to it might seriously do damage to REAL people that can relate to this part of Blitzø? I have come a very long way since 2013, but if this episode dropped 5 or 6 years ago (and I was able to even watch it without being incredibly triggered), those comments would DESTROY me. I am able to talk about this now in a more productive way, but my story isn't that unique. Horrific accidents happen all the time. Think of how many car accidents happen among young people, how many of those accidents might have been caused by a driver that wasn't thinking in the moment. A kid who left the oven on. Didn't accompany their sibling to the park, and the sibling never came home. Tiny, tiny things that every person could and would do, that have haunting consequences.

Cash and Barbie are not real people. WE are. Somebody out there who heard statements like that or read these comments who isn't as far along in healing as I am might be in a seriously dark place right now. Please be sensitive to how you could be hurting those people.

And to those people - this might not be something you're ready to hear - but you need to give yourself grace. I'm not going to tell you that your actions didn't lead to whatever happened. You know that they did, I'm not going to convince you otherwise. What I want you to know is that had you known the consequences, you would have done all you could to prevent it. Intent MATTERS. You CAN accept your actions and it STILL not be your fault at the same time. You don't know what would have happened if you did this or that. No, shut up and listen to me: YOU DON'T KNOW what would have happened had you acted differently. People love you and care about you, and they do for a reason. None of us are without sin, without blame. It's okay. You don't need to punish yourself. And don't listen to these insensitive folks, they don't know better. If anybody hates you for what happened, please know that they are wrong for that. And yes, that includes you.

I've seen like three separate people saying some really dismissive stuff about Blitzø and the fire, from a flippant comment like "well the fire was an accident but the truth is he DID kill his mum" to the downright gross - and I shit you not - "I can understand why Cash and Barbie would hate him for that"

I just want to remind y'all that while this is a fictional show, accidents like that fire do happen in real life. There are people out here who connect with Blitzø's trauma. Please be mindful of how those comments can come off.

[ame-to-ame]

oh. hm.

[infiniteglitterfall]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

[ozzgin]

I was 100% thinking of the Shinsengumi when the brainrot struck, but let us assume a more generic, unnamed circumstance for this. Random, uh, elite group of swordsmen working for the shogunate in the Edo period. Here's the awkward, horny himbo I had previously mentioned. Content: female reader, historical setting, crossdressing, NSFW

Yandere!Captain commands his group with an iron grip. Many people in the Capital know his name, whether it's fellow warriors or petty merchants, and not without reason. His unmatched skill with a sword had even reached the ears of the court, and he was quickly appointed as the head of a newly formed group of samurai meant to maintain order in the city.

As if keeping hot-blooded thugs under control wasn't enough, he is now stuck with an even bigger issue: you.

"We can't have women in here", he declares with a grimace.

"I can pretend", you counter stubbornly, pulling your hakama pants up by the sash, almost in an act of defiance. "In fact, I don't see any woman here. I came to apply."

Yandere!Captain’s reputation does not only revolve around his intimidating strength. Among his underlings, he is known for being completely and utterly uninterested when it comes to women. Will he join his group for drinks after a long day of work? Absolutely. But that’s where the fun stops. When the others begin to slip away with smiling courtesans, he remains at the table with a somber countenance. It is a running joke that nothing can deter this man from his duty.

Thus, your presence at the headquarters should make no difference. He had to begrudgingly accept that you spoke the truth when you'd said you can handle a sword. It's not uncommon for women to keep a small tanto underneath their obi for additional protection, but your knowledge doesn't stop there. You arrived with your own katana and backup wakizashi, swiftly proving their worth upon your first city round when you slashed the arm off a street hooligan.

Well, that's one less worry for the captain. Except, to his great shame, it's not as simple as that. He is the only one aware of your secret, which means that he is the only one available outside of working hours. He was terrified to discover the hesitation in his hands when bandaging your ribs after a stabbing incident, or the halt in his step when he happened to find you switching to a night gown. Oh, how deplorable! Have his morals crumbled into nothing? His latest perverted thought nearly caused him to draw a blade across his stomach.

It is with this faltering confidence that he greets you before the bath one evening.

“You don’t have to do this”, you tell him. "I can wait until you're done."

His struggles haven't escaped your observant eye. You were initially amused by his rather obvious awkwardness; then, a certain idea insidiously made its way into your mind, impossibly tempting: for how long could he keep this façade?

You find yourself going out of your way just to tease your poor captain, perhaps secretly hoping he'll soon break down and give in to his yearning.

“They will become suspicious if you never join us. I do not care for your nudity. Undress at ease”, he says, throwing away his own towel and lowering himself into the hot water. “Get in whenever you want.”

If he insists.

You nonchalantly follow suit, sitting across from him with your arms resting against the rocky edge of the hot spring. You can tell his eyes have wandered involuntarily. His face is red, and he’s wearing a humiliated frown.

“You’re awfully quiet, Sir.”

His lips are pursed indeed. The tall man shuffles briefly, avoiding your gaze. A smirk crosses your features as you decide to approach him.

"In fact, I'd go as far as you say that you're in dire need of help."

To your surprise, he doesn't protest when your hands stray to his lower half, feeling up and down his erection. The small grunts escaping his mouth encourage you to pick up the pace, now equally aroused.

Soon, you feel his heavy arm wrapping around your waist, forcefully throwing you out of the water and onto the cold ground. You open your mouth to complain, but it's quickly shut back by his hot lips, suckling and biting in a desperate hunger to have you.

“It’s improper for a subordinate to take the lead”, he finally says in a low, breaking voice.

He can only hope no one else decides to use the hot springs, though that’s as far as his concern currently goes. He’s much too preoccupied with other pressing matters, holding onto your folded legs for support as he thrusts into you in a depraved, delirious need. His movements are jerky and erratic, with an almost predatory glimmer in his eyes. You wonder how often he imagined this happening. All of his shame and guilt, coming undone at once.

Days later, during one of the hangouts, you find him whispering to one of the courtesans.

“What, you suddenly have a taste for women now?” you question discreetly, unable to hold your tongue.

You’d hoped to be on the receiving end of any future lust-driven gestures from the captain, not some common worker.

He appears to hesitate, twiddling his thumbs and glancing away.

“I was just…asking how you properly please a woman”, he finally confesses.

If he’s going to continue fucking his subordinate behind everyone’s back, he may as well do a good job while at it.

[More Original Works] | [Yan!Swordsman Concept]

[thecollectter]

OK, I'm totally ret-coning the DC lore because I don't have the mental energy to research and make this accurate. Plus I don't normally write for prompts but this one seems to be taking me somewhere so we'll see where this goes lol

BTW I have no idea where this is going or how long it will be. Lets' see where this story takes me. I'll try to include the bits and pieces from other reblogs but no promises. My writing tends to get a mind of its own once it gets going

After-writing edit: This was longer than I planned. Then again I didn't really plan this at all haha. 3733 words total for the story lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The discovery of the hidden lab was purely by accident. The Young Justice team had been in the area on a recon mission gone wrong and had stumbled upon the facility during the ensuing fight. It wouldn't have seemed suspicious at all if not for the giant green energy shield that sprung up around the facility when superboy came close. Honestly, the only reason the team didn't investigate themselves(upon checking that the energy field didn't seem to do anything) was because of the large group of weapon smugglers working for the light they had taken down. It wasn't safe enough to leave them and investigate, especially with all the weapons lying around.

So they reported their findings to Nightwing and the Justice League. Red Robin managed to sneak inside(which was surprisingly difficult) and managed to snag a few files from their systems. He couldn't get very far in, as their computer security was unlike anything he had ever seen before. The little he did manage to get was worrying, though.

Nightwing told the team to finish the cleanup from their assigned mission, and pull back. He wanted a look at the files Red Robin gathered before doing anything.

It was concerning to Nightwing how little information RR was able to gather, especially since what they did have was very concerning. Lots of secret code names for agents(the number alone was worrying), projects and more, plus some alarming terminology that brought Nightwing back to his Robin days when they found Superboy. Plus, the new information coincided with some whispers they had been getting from the Light about a new CADMUS operation in the works.

Whatever the operation was that they had discovered in Illinois, it was big, and waving some red flags. Plus, they had tech unlike anything Nightwing had seen before. So, the information was brought to Batman, and then the Justice League. If this was truly the CADMUS operation they'd been worrying about, it was better to act now with force, then wait for them to further develop whatever they were working on. Plus, they most definitely had security that definitely picked up the YJ team nearby. So the faster they acted, the less likely it was that the building would be empty and the project gone in the wind.

And if it wasn't CADMUS, well something concerning was going on that needed to be stopped either way.

For this particular mission, the main members of the Justice League was going, along with Nightwing and the Young Justice Team. Red Hood and Red Arrow of the Outlaws had heard of the raid and demanded to be let in on the mission, due to Red Arrows history with Cadmus and Red Hoods general dislike of secret science organizations. So they were let in on the mission under the condition of no killing. Plus, the Facility was Massive, so the more heroes involved to do crowd control the better. That meant it was less likely for someone to escape with important information. So, only a day and a half after the discovery of the Facility, The Justice League made their move.

They were expecting a battle, but the battle they got was nothing like they expected. First, the tech this group possessed was unusual and extremely destructive. Second, they seemed to multiply like ants swarming out of an ant colony. A seemingly endless flood of agents in white suits. All wielding the futuristic looking silver and green blasters that shot an explosive green energy. Green energy that was a worryingly familiar shade to members of Batman's brood. But despite the tech and their numbers, the agents were awful shots. Not that getting shot was much of a worry once the league discovered that the weapons didn't do that much damage to people. Until one stray blast hit Red Hood.

He went down hard, a shot to his side, while the Agents seemed to zero in on him. Not that they managed to get anywhere near him. Any Hero's nearby were quick to cover him while he recovered. The pit rage, which had been simmering just under the surface barely under control since he had first seen the Lazarus green energy beams, rose to a full boil.  It overwhelmed his senses, sending him back into the fight with a vengeance few had seen in recent months. It took every bit of self control he had left to not kill anyone.

Agents went down left and right as Hood plowed a path into the building. Batman, Nightwing, Red Robin, Robin, Wonder Woman, and Red Arrow all followed in his wake, taking advantage of the path he was creating. They plowed their way through the facility. Once the numbers were reduced, it was pretty easy to take the agents out.

They expected to find a CADMUS lab. What they actually found was worse. First was the science labs, filled with strange assortment of Chemistry and medical equipment, technology parts, and beakers upon beakers of a glowing substance in that Familiar Lazarus Green color. Everything that could be white was white. Next was the Medical wing, though the medical equipment there was definitely not used for the purpose of medicine. Once again, everything was white. They started sensing a theme. One of the surgical rooms still had yet to be cleaned, the table, floors, equipment and some of the walls covered in the now familiar substance, though it was duller in appearance.

Then they found the cell block. Once again white, the cell block was mostly empty. The few that weren't were buzzing with a now familiar green energy. In once cell was a green dog, wearing a green and silver muzzle, whimpering in the corner. A viscous green substance could be seen in splotches inside the space. Other cells held a similar sight, a green animal wearing a muzzle and various restraints depending on the danger it could pose. Then they found the kid.

In a cell set apart from the rest, behind a massive metal door, was a boy. He was huddled in the back corner, eyes glazed and staring into nothing. He seemed to be maybe 15 or 16 years old, black hair and blue eyes, wearing white clothes that were stained with red and green. Bandages peeked out from beneath his clothes, with one notable one around his neck, stained red and brown. His ankles had metal cuffs on them, one of which was connected to the back of the cell with a glowing green chain. A chain that was notably too short to reach the cot on the other side of the room.  There were similar cuffs on his wrists that looked like they could be connected to other various chains on the walls. And he wore a muzzle. There was a plaque on the door labeled "Phantom".

Red Hood was shaking with rage, and had to be held back from killing one agent while the rest of the heroes took care of the rest of the agents in the area. With no more Agents to attack, he stormed off to cool down, Red Arrow and Nightwing right behind him to keep him under control. Red Robin was trying and failing to open the door and get to the kid while Batman went to the main computer console in the corner. He needed information on what this place was and what was going on here.

Getting through the computers security was no easy feat, and Batman had to resort to using one of the agents badges to get further access to the systems. What he found was horrifying. A secret government agency,  called the Ghost Investigation Ward, or GIW for short, dedicated to the experimentation and eradication of beings known as Ecto-Entities. There was an alarming amount of documented research into them, and from the little he read in his skimming, they were labeled as non-sentient and unfeeling creatures. All the while keeping records of the creatures very sentient reactions to their experiments. The research was extremely biased, and the things they had documented for their experiments was horrifying. Worst of all, it was all legal.

The Anti-Ecto acts were cited all through their research as the laws that made what they do legal. Acts that violated the Meta-human rights acts, that somehow managed to pass beneath the Justice Leagues notice. Batman downloaded all the information in the servers to look over further later. The League had a lot of work to do.

Red Robin, meanwhile was making no headway in opening the cell door to the kid named Phantom. The doors locking mechanisms were controlled remotely, and his usual methods of bypassing it weren't working. it wasn't till he told Batman of his struggle that Batman found the proper command in the computer to open the door. Finally, the cell door opened, everyone else who was still in the room standing back to give Red Robin some room. Best not to spook the kid with too many new people at once.

Phantom, who had been unresponsive through the whole battle and Red Robins attempts to open the door, finally reacted at the sound of the door opening. He curled further into himself and the corner, making no noise but shaking like a leaf.

"Phantom?" RR spoke hesitantly, keeping out of the range of the chain on the kids ankle just in case.

Phantom flinched, hiding his face even more.

"I'm not going to hurt you." RR spoke, fighting to keep his voice calm despite the anger, disgust, and horror rolling in his stomach.

Phantom finally looked up, staring foggily at RR for a good 10 seconds before his eyes widened in surprise. His arms went slack as he sat up a bit straighter. His eyes never left RR

Red Robin waited for the kid to do something, but the boy just stared in shock.

There was a bang from somewhere in the facility, and Phantom immediately retreated back into his ball.

"Hey, calm down. I'm really not going to hurt you." RR said, pausing to see phantoms reaction. His eyes peaked over his knees and arms. "Whatever these people have been doing to you, it stops now. We are going to get you out of here, and get you somewhere they can never find you and hurt you again."

Phantom stared at Red Robin, suspicion slowly being overtaken with hope in his eyes.

"Can I come closer? I want to try to remove some of your restraints." RR said softly, holding his hands in front of him to show he meant no harm. Phantom nodded hesitantly.

Red Robin slowly made his way closer to the kid, trying not to spook him. Phantom let RR examine the cuffs and chain that tied him to the wall, and saw no means of releasing them. They were obviously more than just shackles, made of the same silver metal with green details. The chains themselves were literally glowing green.

"I can't get these off myself, but I have a friend who can. Can I go get someone else who can help?" RR asked, once he realized that he was not equipped to release any of the kids restraints.

Phantom hesitated a moment, and nodded, relaxing his posture a bit as the idea of freedom started to simmer.

So Red Robin retreated from the cell, to find Batman, Wonder woman, and Robin waiting. Nightwing and Red Arrow were probably still trying to calm down Hood. RR quickly updated everyone on the physical and mental state of the boy, and his lack of ability to undo his restraints.

At about that same moment, they received word that the last of the Agents had been apprehended, and members of the Young Justice team and Justice league had joined in searching the building with others were left to gather the downed agents. Batman relayed that everyone who had gone inside following Red Hood were alright. He also asked for Superman to join them.

In no time at all, Superman joined them and was quickly updated on the situation. Red Robin then led him to Phantoms cell, hoping the Kryptonian would be able to release the boys bindings. Everyone else stayed back though, not wanting to overwhelm him.

"Alright, I've gotten my friend to help," Red Robin said, entering the room and gesturing for Superman to follow. "He's really strong and should be able to break those things that are holding you here, ok?"

The kid looked hesitant, but nodded his assent.

Superman instantly noted the blood and the green spatters, and barely managed to hid his concern at the kids extremely low heart rate. It was then he noted that the other animals in captivity didn't have heartbeats at all.

Filing that information away, Superman crouched in front of the kid.

"My name is Superman, lets get these restraints off of you, alright?" he said, waiting for the kid to nod before gently grabbing the chain bound to his ankle. It buzzed with an unfamiliar energy, and took a surprising amount of strength to break.

He went for the anklet itself next, making sure the kid was still calm before snapping it off. The rest of the cuffs followed. Soon, only the muzzle was left. He'd left it for last to gain the kids trust before removing the biggest and worst one.

It took almost all his strength to break the muzzle, while trying to be gentle and not jostle him.

"There," Superman said, sitting back on his heels and smiling and the kid. "Is there any I missed?"

Phantom slowly shook his head, a look of hesitant relief on his face while he rubbed at his wrists and ankles. Superman swore he heard a low rumble briefly coming from the kid.

Red Robin observed silently at the door, noting the red scaring on Phantoms wrists and ankles after the manacles were removed. It was hard to tell the rest of his physical state due to his huddled position and the stiff baggy clothes he wore. He'd been here a long time though, that much was obvious. Tim just wanted to know what these men in white were so afraid of to treat him this way.

"Do you have a name?" Superman asked. "The plaque on the door say's your name is Phantom."

He opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out. So instead, he sighed, a hand coming up to his throat, nodding sadly.

Red stepped forward, hand going to his utility belt and pulling out a notepad and pen.

"Can you try writing it?" he said, holding both items out to the kid.

He gratefully accepted the items. He carefully wrote something on the paper, paused and scratched something out, before presenting it to the two heroes.

Danny Fenton

"Nice to meet you Danny, I'm Red Robin. how do you feel about getting out of here?" he said, smirking at the teen.

Danny gave a small smile and clambered slowly to his feet. He wobbled, unsteady on his legs, and went to throw out a hand to catch himself on the wall. Instead, Superman caught him, quickly reaching out a gently hand and letting go as soon as Danny got his balance.

"Easy there," Superman said. "There's no rush. They can't hurt you anymore." Danny gave a sad smile and nodded.

"Now, fair warning," Red Robin said as they started leaving the room. "there's a few other heroes outside so don't freak out at the extra people."

Danny took a deep breath and followed the two heroes out.

Batman, having briefed everyone on what he had discovered, was back at the computer console making sure he had gotten everything they needed and working to wipe the systems. He was also trying to understand why their computer security was so confusing and hard to bypass. It almost seemed, alive somehow.

Robin was glaring at the cells that contained the other animals, probably told off by Batman that it was too dangerous to release them until they knew more. These animals that were probably alien or at least experiments were a very different unknown from the seemingly human boy. Though since Robin wasn't trying to open the cell's on his own, he must have been promised to be able to help with the animals once they were more prepared. Wonder Woman was conversing quietly with Nightwing, who had returned with Red Arrow and Red Hood sometime while Superman and Red Robin were freeing Danny. Red Arrow was muttering angrily to himself about crazy scientists while Red Hood was standing a distance away from everyone, fists clenched.

Everyone looked to Danny as they emerged from the cell, freezing him in place as he cautiously examined everyone. He seemed to be taking the new people pretty well, considering. Until he saw Red Hood.

As soon as he saw Hood, his eyes widened in shock, flashing a horrifyingly familiar Lazarus green as he let out a strange rumbling whine. A sound that was decidedly not human, accentuated by the fact that neither his mouth nor his throat moved at all. No one had any idea what it meant. Danny seemed a bit caught off guard by the noise himself, but was far more focused on starting at Red Hood.

Hood, meanwhile, had frozen as well, staring at this disheveled teen with Lazarus green eyes that had basically screamed the emotional equivalent of "What the f* happened to you?" at him.

"The f* you worried about me for?" he responded before he fully processed the fact that he knew what the strange noise meant. They had just rescued this kid from a creepy and messed up Government science facility, and he wondered what was wrong with Jason? So sue him for being offended. Plenty was wrong with him, but he would never admit that.

"And how the f* did I understand that..." Hood muttered.

Danny completely ignored everyone else and moved over to Hood, staring at him with an intense expression of confusion, worry and disgust.

"What? Do I have something on me?" Hood asked, thoroughly confused and worried now.

Everyone else was watching in confusion. This kid didn't seem that traumatized. That or whatever he saw in Red Hood was bad enough to make him forget what he had been through.

Danny circled hood, expression flicking between the same emotions. His nose even crinkling in disgust. He kept mouthing things and then huffing in frustration.

Red Robin moved forward.

"Danny, what do you see?" he asked tentatively.

Danny jumped, latching on to Hoods arm and hiding behind him. Hood had not been expecting this frighteningly small teenager, who had just been examining him like he was moldy food, to latch onto him. He managed to not attack the kid. Instead, following that instinct involving protecting kids, he maneuvered his arm and body so 'Danny' could better hide behind him.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, both Red Hood and Danny seemed to realize what they did. Danny jumped away, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. Hood staring between the kid and his arm. The kid was cold, cold enough to be felt through his armor in the short time Danny was holding on to him.

"You ok?" Red Robin asked, looking to Danny for confirmation.

Danny nodded, glancing around the place and growing visibly more uncomfortable. He also unconsciously took a step back towards Red Hood.

Batman stepped forward, taking control of the situation. He started giving orders to everyone in the room,

"Now," Batman continued. "Red Robin and Red Hood will escort Daniel out of the facility." Pausing briefly to note Danny's reaction to the more formal usage of his name, he continued. "From what I've already learned, Danny will need to to be taken to the Watchtower. That is the safest place for him to be until we can handle the situation."

He turned to address Danny.

"We mean you no harm. What has happened here is unacceptable, and I will find out how this escaped our notice." There was a finality to his tone, a dark assurance that only Batman could pull off in a comforting way. "In the meantime, our best doctors will be there to help you. I assure you that they mean you no harm, and if any harm should come to you at their hands, they will answer to me. You are safe. Understood?"

Danny had tensed at the mention of doctors, grabbing Hoods arm again in his agitation. But at the man in black's words of assurance, he relaxed the slightest bit.

The rest of those in the room echoed their agreement and assurances.

Danny gave a small smile, though it was strained.

Batman finalized everyone's instructions before turning back to Red Robin and Red Hood.

"I have already made the Watchtower aware of your arrival. Specific preparations are being made to ensure that Danny is comfortable and safe. I will forward you two the details."

RR and Hood nodded. Batman gave a small grunt of acknowledgement and returned the the computer console where Nightwing was waiting for him.

Hood and Red Robin turned to look at Danny.

"Now lets get you out of here. You ready?" Hood said.

Danny took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. Then he nodded.

They started to leave, but Danny’s legs finally gave-out from under him. Hood caught him carefully, and after a brief hesitation, lifted the kid into a bridal carry.

“Don’t worry, kid,” Hood said, voice soft through the voice modulator. “You don’t need to be strong right now. We’ve got you. It’s all over.”

A second or two passed with both bat brothers walking in silence before Danny buried his head against Hood, and started shaking in silent sobs. Red Robin was silent on the exchanged, walking just ahead of Hood to make sure the path was clear and to warn any heroes off of asking questions. Making sure that the two weren't disturbed.

Hood simply walked, holding the sobbing teenager in his arms. Danny didn’t look to be that much younger than Tim. He didn’t know much of what Danny had been through, but it wasn’t hard to get an general idea. Normally the thought would make his blood boil and the pit rage take over. But the cold resonating from his contact with Danny seemed to be barely holding the rage at bay. Nothing had calmed the rage before.

Jason wasn’t complaining.

To be Continued? maybe? Not sure yet.

No one knew what to do with the boy. They had found him in a facility thought to be another Cadmus base but as it turns out, was a research compound for another group entirely. One that experimented on unknown beings while claiming to have affiliation with the government. That was already concerning in and of itself but the boy. The way that they found him.

His throat had been slit. As evident but the nasty scar and dirty bandages that covered it. If that wasn't bad enough, his mouth was also bound in some type of muzzle that took Superman applying most of his strength to break. It was almost as if the people of this facility were afraid of this boy's voice.

That wasn't even the worst of it though. Neither was the apparent fear and distrust in his eyes. Not even the small cell with the threadbare cot and no windows was the worst. No, the worst of it was the mountain of scars they saw when they finally coaxed the boy into taking off his shirt. Especially the giant y scar that split down his chest.

[tojirights]

❛ you taste like heaven. ❜

Alastor with angel!reader omg. I imagine that reader was Alastor's wife back when they were alive, but didn't see eachother again after death because Alastor is in hell and reader is in heaven. I imagine that after Sir Pentious got redeemed, Sera sent reader (because she has experience with demons(? Ur choice) and Sera trusts her a lot) down to hell to investigate this 'hazbin hotel'.

a/n: AHHHH i almost didnt want to write smut into this because it was so precious 😭 ooc alastor again but its so CUTE. i added my "alastor speaks french" agenda to this as well lol.

buy me a coffee? 😇

tags: 18+ smut nsfw, fem! receiving oral

heaven was in shambles after the last extermination, no one knew what would happen next now that souls could be redeemed from hell. it was then that sera approached you in private, all but begging you to go be an "ambassador." you were hesistant at first, not only thinking that this was a lot of responsibility, but also that your... husband had to be down there. he wasn't a "good man" after all, but your heart still fluttered at the thought of seeing him once more. with a sigh, you accept sera's plea and prepare for your trip down to the hazbin hotel.

there to greet you, was charlie morningstar herself, bright eyed and bubbly just like you heard all about. she leads you into the foyer of the hotel before you stop dead in your tracks. charlie is still speaking a mile a minute in your ear, trying to welcome you as best she can, but you're not listening. your eyes meet alastor's, immediately recognizing him even in this new form of his. and when his smile almost fades, you know he recognizes you too.

there's another brief pause before you're running towards him, your wings unfurling on their own as you're quickly wrapped up in his embrace. the other inhabitants of the hotel watch, confused, seeing as alastor hasn't really let anyone but niffty get close enough to touch him, let alone embrace him. your wings fluff up and cover your faces as you lean up to kiss your estranged partner. "oohh, sweetheart.." he sighs against your lips. "its been..."

you smile between kisses, your heart racing in your chest. "too long." you finish his sentence, earning a chuckle from the demon. his lips kiss a trail to your ear, a low growl to his voice as he whispers to you. "you taste like heaven, darling." your cheeks go red, not quite prepared for such a comment, especially in front of company. "alastor!" you hiss, hitting his chest gently but he just pulls you closer in response.

finally, he addresses the group behind you who are all standing with their jaws hanging open. "now, if you're all done gawking, i believe my wife needs to be shown around..."

husk spits out his drink as alastor speaks, covering angel in alcohol. "your WHAT!?" you hide your face as calamity ensues, everyone trying to speak over eachother at the insane news. "your wife... is an angel?" charlie asks gently, trying to get to the bottom of this. "well, i couldn't have known for sure but she was always more a saint than i." alastor hums, running his hand down your back. you shudder when he touches your wings, to which he notes in his head for later.

"o-oh! well then! i guess you should show her around, yeah?" she smiles bashfully, still taken aback by everything happening since your arrival just a few minutes ago. you look up at alastor, your cheeks aching from smiling so wide. "i think i'd like that." you whisper to him, enjoying the way he pulls you closer to him. "hold on tight then, my love."

you're not sure what he means by that until you're slipping into the shadows with him. its an odd feeling, but you don't think much of it until you're reappearing in what you assume is his bedroom. alastor is careful with you, like he's afraid the wrong touch will burn you, but he craves the feeling of your bare skin against his hands more than he can admit. you smile, reaching your hands up to cup his face. "touch me, al. i'm not fragile..."

your words light a spark deep within him, forcing him to restrain himself from ripping your pretty clothes into tatters. he groans inwardly, large hands reaching around to pick you up before fumbling his way to the bed. "corrupting an angel wasn't on my bucket list until seeing you again, my dear." his tone, its not what you're used to hearing, but that gravelly undertone shoots straight through you. "oh please, you can't corrupt me more than you already have." alastor's lips find the sensitive skin of your neck and you feel him smirk.

"i hope that's not a challenge." he tests, tugging at the hem of your dress. you all but giggle, lifting up so alastor can free your body of clothes. "and what if is it?" you challenge, knowing full well that alastor wouldn't let your teasing continue without proper punishment. his eyes darken red, and there's a tinge of fear in your gut. because this may still be alastor, but its been quite a while, you don't know how he's changed.

but as he kisses down your stomach, you're reassured that the man you married is still there somewhere, underneath this 'radio demon' persona. "your lips tasted of heaven, mon amour, does this taste so sweet as well?" alastor's words alone are enough are enough to make you whimper, then the feeling of his hot breath against your clothed cunt makes your core pulse.

your hands naturally fall to the top of his head, feeling the softness of his ears and the rough points of his antlers. "c-can i..?" you start, timidly holding onto the horns. alastor's body shudders as he shoves his face into your thigh. "yes, ma chérie. please do." he breathes, tugging on the thin fabric of your panties until they rip in half.

alastor wants to be patient, wants to treat you like the angel you are, but he is a demon after all. and he hasn't gotten such a delicious meal in far too long. after he feels your grip tighten on his antlers, he lets loose his self control. his first taste of your sweet pussy sends him into a frenzy, eating you like a man starving. his tongue swipes up your slit before circling your clit in quick flicks. your legs are shaking already, breathy moans leaving your lips with reckless abandon.

there's a part of you that is concerned to be getting your cunt ate by a demon, but this demon was your husband, after all. sera made you come down here and you might as well enjoy yourself, right?

your hips arch up, craving more and more, and alastor is happy to oblige. "this is heaven, my dear. not some palace in the sky, but here, between your legs." your eyes well with tears, overwhelmed in more ways than one. every pass of his tongue has your release teetering on the edge while his sweet words make your heart flutter. its almost too much, and when alastor sucks on your clit, your walls burst.

"a-alastor i'm..." you mewl, every nerve on your body screaming as your orgasm rolls over you. you're almost sure you're hurting him by how hard you tug at his hair, but alastor doesn't stop. the intensity is something you've not experienced in many, many years, and the tears stream down your cheeks. alastor coaxes you through it, licking slow and soft circles around your sensitive bud until your shaking stops.

he's quick to climb up, wiping the tears from your puffy eyes. "such a good girl, mon amour. there's plenty more where that came from."

[benegesseritofficial]

The effects of face paint on Harrowhark's psyche

I've now cosplayed Gideon Nav 3 times, with my wife along as Harrow every time. Naturally, this has included full face paint for both of us each time and I have some thoughts.

Let me start by asserting that everything Muir writes in TLT about the face paint is accurate. Rubbing off your lips first, smearing into gray where the black and white meet, the way sweat makes it ooze but not run. I can't say if Muir (a known Homestuck) ever cosplayed as a troll, but I'm positive she tested out the practicality of the skull face paint or otherwise has first hand experience with extensive use of grease paint. Also, the way she describes normal people flinching when they see you is spot on.

I've noticed while putting on the make up that once most of my skin is covered, any flesh tones sticking out start to become unsettling. Specifically, the red/pink of the inner mouth and around the eyes jump out upsettingly. Every time I've done skull paint I find myself meticulously trying to patch over these edges of skin, despite knowing that it's inside skin that Shouldn't Have Make Up On It. Once my face is monochrome, I don't want to be able to see a scrap of real human under there. Smiling, or otherwise opening your mouth wide enough to see the pink, looks UNSETTLING. My own skin causes the uncanny valley effect. You see where this is going. In NtN we learn Harrowhark disassociates often enough that Crux isn't surprised or concerned to see "Harrow" insisting she's someone else. Obviously this is due to her schizophrenia, and perhaps trauma besides. But it doesn't account for every aspect of why Harrow's "like that." On her most lucid days Harrow ignores her body to the point of sweating blood and passing out. She goes entire days without eating. She thinks of herself as a skeleton unfortunately covered in flesh. She sleeps in her paint.

All of which is heinous, but that last one has stuck with me. From age 13-18 I barely glanced down while I showered and whatever I saw I basically blocked out. I wore underwear and a bra under my pajamas to sleep every night. I was going through the wrong puberty, "my body was in open rebellion" as I liked to say at the time, and the only way to cope was to bind it down and pretend it wasn't happening. By Gideon's narration in HtN one gets the impression most nuns of the Ninth are putting their paint on after breakfast and taking it off when they get home. It's not even expected the average person wears it every time they leave the house. But Harrow regularly only takes her paint off in order to redo it. I suspect a combination of being the most brainwashed person in her own cult, knowing how she was conceived, and the regular disassociation make it very difficult for Harrow to conceptualize that she actually lives in a body. If she faced that fact head on she'd have to ask why it so often feels someone else is using her body. She'd have to cope with owning this body, being a part of this body, that was bought with the blood of 200 children who should have been her peers and friends. Instead she pretends it's an object on loan from them. And she does it with 10 layers of black petticoats and so much paint she never has to see her own skin.

Which brings me to the final thing I've noticed wearing full face paint. It dehumanizes you to yourself and everyone around you. I couldn't read my own expressions in a mirror. Even people who understood and were delighted with my cosplay were visibly nervous talking to me. You don't look like a person. Studies have shown that faces wearing heavy make up are ranked as harder to read and perceived as less empathetic. It's a particularly insidious trap of patriarchy that many women find self esteem in wearing make up, while that very act makes everyone around them treat them more callously. And, worst of all, if you stop wearing it once you're used to it, your naked face is shocking. You look sick due to your colors being less bold and the normal small flaws of your face appear unbearably ugly. With all this in mind, Harrow has trapped herself in a feedback loop of not being able to witness her own face and becoming more and more disgusted with the flesh and person underneath whenever she has to glance at it.

[beatrice-otter]

You’re seriously still blaming Trump on “Bernie Bros”? Time for democrats to start taking responsibility for putting up shitty candidates and deflecting blame toward everyone else, for once

Trump was elected by a very narrow margin. And there was a ton of polling and data crunching and statistical modeling going on during and after the election, so we actually know what the factors that tipped the needle Trump's direction are.

One of the biggies is leftists who thought Hilary was insufficiently far left. If every leftist who loved Bernie and disliked Hilary because she wasn't perfect enough had held their nose and voted for Hilary, Trump would have lost. They're not the only demographic that's true of; there are a number of others who, if they had turned out in force, would have turned the tide of the election. For example, if a higher percentage of Black women had voted, Trump would also have lost. You know what the difference is between your average Bernie Bro and your average Black woman? Your average Bernie Bro is white and thus a hell of a lot less likely to have his vote suppressed. He is a hell of a lot more likely to find it easy to vote. This is not me saying this because I don't like them, or because I think Hillary was a perfect candidate. This is me saying that when you look at the actual numbers, leftist ideologues who refused to vote for a candidate who was not their perfect choice was one of the main reasons Trump got four years in the White House.

In general, regardless of the candidates involved, if 55% of American adults vote in a national election, the Republican wins in a landslide. If 60% of American adults vote, the Republican wins by a bare margin. If 65% of American adults vote, the Democrat wins by a bare margin. If 70% of American adults vote, the Democrat wins by a landslide. If 75% of American adults voted--and voted regularly in every election--the Republican party would cease to be a significant force in American politics.

This has been known for decades. Republicans will show up and vote no matter what; a very high percentage of Democrats and left-leaning voters will only show up if the candidate in question is perfectly in line with their views. That's why we have a Congress that is dominated by Republicans despite most of the country not liking them, and that's why we have most of the political problems that they do. By waiting for a political candidate who is good enough, you are directly ceding power to the people who are making the world worse.

Elections are decided by the people who show up. If you do not show up to vote, your vote does not get counted. If politicians want to get re-elected, they have to listen to the people who will vote for them. If they try to listen to the people who don't regularly vote, they are far more likely to lose re-election than if they listen to the people who show up every election. And conservatives show up every election. If liberals and leftists changed our voting habits and voted in every single election--voted for the furthest left candidate in the primary, and whoever got the Democratic nomination in the general election--we would prove ourselves to be a voting bloc worth listening to and the party would move left in response.

You want a candidate who perfectly fits your vision and ideals for what America should be? That doesn't happen in a vacuum. That takes work, and the most basic level of that work is showing up to vote now and every time there's an election to vote in.