#but i really am sooooo excited i cant ….. think . | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tmwcs · 2 years ago

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Hey! Its my first time sending an ask hehe~ I just wanted to say that you’re such an amazing writer and your series are just sooooo good!!! 😍😍😍 I started getting into your account when I came across the smau for MRE and HHP and I gotta say, you got me hooked so bad onto Heethan that I end up loving all your Hee-leads so far! I’m so invested in HHP, SE7EN, DT and now TO! I’m honestly so excited to read a new chapter everytime you post hahaha! 🤭🤭

The main reason I wanted to send you this is cuz I’ve been having super stressful and bad days these past few days and its mainly cuz its my final year in college, final semester and final week actually 😅 and there’s just like sooo many final preparations needed to be done for my big final year project (having my big presentation today! soooo nervous) and its just been too much and too overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother anyone with my anxiousness so I’ve been keeping it all to myself and having slight panic attacks and just started having random breakdowns as I complete my assignments. Reading your series, whether its new chapters or just rereading older ones have given me comfort, like I really felt alone but its like Heethan, Heelel and the Heebros have become my comfort characters. It’s just been so overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother my family with it, I only have one other friend that I trust with my whole life but rarely see her, we’re all busy and I just felt like I’m falling behind in everything. Even though the Hee-leads might be like crazy obsessed with the reader, its like I really needed them in my life just to have someone to drop everything just to hold and comfort me anytime life becomes too much for me. I’m actually crying while writing this to you hahaha… it just feels like everyone around me is moving so fast and I’m stuck at the back picking myself up just because I feel so overwhelmed and anxious easily. Turning 20 this year is another thing that has me feeling afraid of adulthood, my mum is pressuring me into getting a job immediately once I graduate but I just feel like I’m not ready, or I’m just not ready to give up my teenage freedom and socialise professionally. Being such an introvert and shy and always thinking I’m just dumb and cant do work without help has been holding me back from wanting to grow and enjoy this new chapter in life.

So sorry for this long ass rant but i just really needed to let you know how much your stories, your Hee-leads have been keeping me going. Excited for the next chapters of your series! Hope you’re having a great day❣️

Omg so....I LOVE THIS.....this is so heartwarming and thank you for sharing it with me. Also, thank you for discovering my blog so you can write this to me, bc as you may have figured, receiving asks are just....its so nice. its a nice and wonderful surprise to hear from readers interesting in my work, wanting to know more about the characters and so forth. I am just beyond touched that heethan, heelel, and heebrows have made their way into your heart and to provide you comfort. in fact, reading your message had reminded me of a piece that i had started to draft (it was originally supposed to be a part of one of the HHP chapters but i never went through with it) but i still had it in my folders so after i finished reading your message, I decided to go back and actually finish it and format it specifically for you as y/n. I hope you like it. <3

Heeseung's Message.....

MDNI18+ content below the line.

Warnings: mentions of losing loved ones, fears and worries about the future, smut, car smut, unprotected smut, some....just some sadness....its a very heartwarming and touching piece.

"What's wrong baby?"

Noting how silent you were in the car, right after he picked you up, Heeseung rubbed your thigh, gently shifting your skirt upwards as he softly slid his hand up and down, enveloping you with warmth and comfort. "Something on your mind pretty baby?"

Placing your hand on his, you grabbed hold semi-tightly, keeping your gaze out at the window. You were hesitant at first, noting that Heeseung had a busy schedule of his own, was on his way of finishing his last year in college, aiding his professors, and of course, there was you....picking you up from classes, dropping you off every morning, taking you wherever you needed to go. You appreciated it but the man had completely devoted his time to everything else, you felt it selfish to bring any matters up to him....feeling that whatever time he did have left within the evening, he should at least have it for himself.

"It's nothing." You sighed out.

Glancing over to you, he furrowed his brows and quickly shifted the wheel, stirring the car over to a nearby parking lot on one of the campus buildings.

"What are you....?" raising up in your seat, you looked around before turning your gaze over to Heeseung, who steered the wheel with one hand and in a smooth motion, parked the car. Unbuckling his seatbelt, his gaze meets with yours before he reaches up and places his hand behind your head, softly grabbing onto your hair as he leans in and rests his forehead against yours.

"Whats wrong? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? I wanna know. Tell me, y/n."

His eyes were wide and his expression was fierce with rage, however, before he further ventured off into a spiraling path of unhinged presumptions, you reached up and latched your fingers onto his collar, placing a dainty kiss on his lips. "Its not that....I promise nothing like that happened."

Raising his brows and tilting his head, he releases the gentle grip he had on your hair, and replaced it with a soft, petting motion. "Then why are you being so quiet? You seem upset, what is it?"

Looking down at the console for just a second, you raise your sights once more to meet his and began talking.

".....Are you ever scared about the future, Heeseung?"

His face was taken slightly aback as he raised both brows and looked at you with an intent look.

"Is that what this is about? Are you feeling overwhelmed about moving?"

Shaking your head, you looked down once more as you shyly clarified. "Nooo.....its not just that....its more..."

"Like what baby?"

"Like....after the moving.....finishing college, being in an unfamiliar country, not knowing anybody, making new friends, meeting your family, being apart from mine, learning a new language, finding a job after college, and what if I have to do more college? Or ...." pausing, you caught yourself drifting in verbal thought.

"Or....?" He draws out as he bids you to finish your statement.

"Or........what if....what if something happens and we........you know.....what if we just...."

Squinting his eyes slightly, his expression looked a little irked as he rolled his tongue in his mouth. "That's never going to happen y/n. You know that."

"Yeah but....."

"But what?" Slightly annoyed, he closed his eyes for a second, tilted his chin down, and lifted his lids to expose a rather stern and rather angry look. Yet the moment he saw that your eyes began to glisten, shining like diamonds as the tears started to build up, you looked down once more, unable to look him square in the eye as you felt the first tear break free and drip down on the leather padding of the console.

Watching as you faintly sobbed, he nearly felt his heart break into two. He gasped out a faint breath as he reached over with his other hand and cupped your face, no longer expressing a look of annoyance.

"Hey......why? What's making you think that way? Am I not showing you enough love? You know whatever it is you want, all you have to do is tell me and I'll make it happen."

"Its not that i just........there's just some things we can't predict about the future Heeseung......what if some day......what if you stop loving me......or worse.....what if something happens and I no longer have you? What if....just.......you never know.....is it wrong for me to hope for the best, but expect the worse? Because...you know that life can be so unfair some times....and I....I....I'm scared because....I dont even know....what I'm scared of sometimes. I wake up every single morning not even knowing how to live life because there's so many things that I think about....so many things that are thrown at me all at once and I just.....I feel like sometimes......I might fail......I feel like sometimes.....I will let you down.......I feel like its not the world, its me.........its me that's broken, not you or anyone else."

You gasped out tears and soft cries as you spoke straight from the heart. For the first time, Heeseung had sincerely considered if going to Korea was the best option, at least just for a second before he reminded himself of the future that he had waiting for him.....a future that would allow him to continue to keep you....safe....and with him.

Shifting his sights around on the floor bed of the car, his thumbs stroke your cheeks, wiping away the continuous flow of tears that were now coming down harder than before. Gulping down a hard swallow, he turns back to face you.

"Baby.........look at me....please look at me."

Looking up into his gaze, your eyes red, swollen, with eyelashes drenched and your face stained with wet trails of all your fears leaving their mark. With a soft smile, he calmly speaks.

"You're right.....that is tough. There's a lot that we can't control in the future....its precarious, and we're literally just pawns on the board of this silly game called life, where God and the universe are taking turns making each move. It can be cruel, unfair, and tormenting. Its something that we can either overcome with great strife and hard work."

"But what happens if we work so hard and it.....it just doesnt work out? What if everything just falls apart Heeseung?"

"We wont know unless it happens y/n......the thing about the future, as much as we want it here in the present, so we can see and view what it has in store for us, thats....just not the way it works. That's not the way we work....we're not designed to know those things. We didn't become strong because we cheated, we became strong and survived because we, as humans, learned....the hard way."

Looking into his eyes, your vision started to become blurry all over as the next set of tears built up. Smiling as he continued to wipe your tears away, he continues.

"Y/n....for thousands of years, people have fallen, lost, and suffered at the creativity of the universe. Yet we never gave up......people had an urge to survive. Which is why at times, even when the entire world was on fire, times where a soldier never comes home, a woman loses her child, or when a doctor just doesnt have a cure.....we keep moving....we get back up and learn how to walk again. I can't sit here and tell you that I know that everything is going to be great.....I dont know. But what I do know.....is this...."

Shifting his hands down to your waist, he lifts you with his core strength as his abdominal muscles flexed under his shirt. Bringing you over onto his lap, he sat you down in a princess style as he cradled you against his chest.

"No matter what happens....I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there and I'm going to help you, just like you're going to help me. I'll never let anything happen to you....and.....you never have to worry about me not loving you .....noooooooo pretty baby......that's never going to happen, not loving you would be the worst offense against Heaven and humanity. As far as if anything were to happen to me...."

The moment Heeseung touched on that part of the subject, you sobbed uncontrollably against his neck.

"Heeeeeey, come on now. Nothing's even happen, why are you acting like that's a for sure thing?" he chuckles out as he kisses your forehead. "Listen..." Taking your hand in his, he continues.

"I'm not going anywhere......I'm not. I know this because I know what is living for me......you. I will never abandon you. Even if something did happen, you know i'm always going to be with you. You know how?"

Shaking your head, he brushes your hair away from your face.

"Moments like this baby. Every time we talk, touch, feel each other, love, eat, sleep, kiss, and when I fuck your brains out...." gripping onto your waist tightly, he presses his forehead against your own once more. "All the things we do, they never leave. So.......if there is ever a time where I am not physically here......you're always going to remember how i feel..." gliding his hand from your waist, he reaches down and gently trails it upwards under your skirt, his fingers reaching into your panties.

"You're going to remember my touch..." kissing your neck, he latches his mouth onto your soft spot under your ear, and rings the tip of his tongue around in slow circular motions.

"You're going to remember my scent...." with his free hand, he reaches behind your head and gently pushes your face inward, causing your nose to become burrowed in his thatch of dark long, shaggy hair, inhaling the scent of his cool-mint cologne and his shampoo.

"You'll also remember what I taste like...." placing a soft peck on the spot he was sucking on, he tilts his head up slightly and brings your head down to kiss him.

"And best of all......pretty baby.......you're going to remember what it feels like when I fuck you......when I love you." Shifting your body to face forward, your back completely spooned by his chest and groin as you both remained seated in the drivers side, he spreads your legs open by pushing our inner thighs apart. You were so caught up with the sensual four play, you hadn't realized that he tore off your panties. Unbuttoning your blouse, exposing your breasts, he shifts you up as he levels his length to align with your slit, before proceeding to enter inside you. Feeling full of his flesh, you moaned out as the overwhelming sense of pleasure hits you........taking you away from the abysmal depths of your fears and worries.

Steadying you in a reverse cowgirl position, filing you, his cock melts inside you as he begins thrusting slow and steady, picking up the pace as your walls become more moist.

"You feel me pretty baby?"

"Y-yes!"

"Yeah? You gonna remember me forever?"

"Y-yes...yes! He-Heeseung!"

"You gonna remember what this feels like?"

"Yes!"

"What does it feel like baby? Tell me."

"F-f......fe-feels......ssss......goood......soo....soo.goood....ugh!"

"Harder or faster baby?"

"ugh! both! please both!"

Thrusting repeatedly, your body falls limp as he holds you upright, with one arm wrapped around your waist, and his other hand shifting a grip between your neck and your exposed breast, he muffles your moans and screams with his mouth as he swallows every single bit of your precious tones.

"Gonna cum for me?"

"Y-ye.....yes!...yes.......ugh! He-Heeseung!"

"Yeah? You gonna cum because you're a good girl?"

"Mmm!mmmmmm....mmmhmmm!....ugh!"

"You my good girl?"

"Y....yes!!"

"Yeah you are.......now fucking cum on me. Let me feel it."

Adding more depth to each thrust, you gasped out your screams of pleasure as he rams his cock deep inside, separating new found walls and extracting the moisture out of your body. Reaching orgasm and releasing all over his member, your thighs shake relentlessly.

"Good girl.....my turn."

Cupping your lower tummy, he pushes in and feels his thick length as it slides in and out, he found it amusing how your sensitive body could take him like this, especially feeling it inside you as he was doing right now. Jacking his member deep inside you at a rapid and hard momentum, he finally reaches his moment and with one last punctured thrust, he bucks his hips upward as he shoves you down, mashing your bodies together as he releases inside and fills your body up.

Pulling your head back as he latches his mouth on your neck yet again, suckling as your body bounces rigorously from the tenacity of his performance.

Feeling the pleasure of his tainted love, you somehow were to understand his message clearly, all due to Heeseung extracting you from your fears......which he had done before, back when Samuel sent you his email......back when you and Heeseung came together for the first time.....the start of your guys story. Just as he did back then, he helped you to understand, that the reality of what life gives, is never necessarily the ending to your story. The more he kept pumping into you, the more you were reminded of that clarity. Yea sure, you still felt scared, but knowing that if at first you dont succeed....reach happiness.....or if things just dont work out, you can and should always, try-try again. A lesson you were always reminded of, all thanks to Heethan.

Authors note: Lol, sooooooo...yeah this original draft did have some smut....and i was going to take it out but it was too crucial for me to do so. I hope you dont mind that. But, this chapter was originally drafted, back a few months ago. I had this thought in my head, since I have only taken a few college courses, and am about to start back up on it, I was feeling so dreadful and felt too nervous about doing well. I want to succeed in reaching my educational goals....but what also kind of bugged me was....will i still find time to write? I love writing, truly do. Mainly because it brings other people joy and brings out their most inner feelings. I had so much on my mind that time that i had began drafting this, but as i was writing it, i left it unfinished bc honestly, when i drafted heethan's message.....literally its like his voice was telling me what to write....i felt better. like it was a nice little reminder....realistic...very rational....and honest...but still positive and holds truth. there's a lot of things we can't control, but we should never give up. Its okay to be scared and to worry, that's natural, and that is exactly why people such as myself are here, writing these chapters and stories for you all because i know that there is such a thing called 'life' and sometimes....we just need a break from it to refresh ourselves. I know you have alot on your plate, but dont worry because everything will be more than fine. We have to pace ourselves, work hard, but also rest, and play from time to time. Eat and drink well, and finish strong. finish college, work with your mother and teach her to work with you, if you dont get the job you really want, no big deal. no matter what job you get, if its one you dont want, nothing lasts forever. just think that whatever you do now, it is only making you more marketable for the dream goal you have. I hope you continue strong because while you do have alot on your plate, you've been slaying....you've been killing it! and that's a major accomplishment in itself, last of year of college? woohoo! finish strong!

So now i should apologize for responding with the longest post ever lol. but i really hope this makes you feel better. Reading your message had reminded me of this piece and i am so glad you sent it to me because....looking at it now...and actually finishing it......this was something that was meant to be published and shared. bc it holds an important message for all of us. <3

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

#heeseung x reader #heeseung scenarios #heeseung smut #heeseung hard hours #enha x reader #heeseung hard thoughts #heeseung fanfic #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #enha heeseung #yandere enhypen #yandere x reader #yandere heeseung imagines #yandere heeseung

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cal-daisies-and-briars · 7 months ago

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Oooooh I’m so pumped about these new fics you’ve added! I’m officially intrigued and excited to read!

Also I should probably apologize for the amount of emojis here but I keep sending long requests and you keep fulfilling them fabulously sooooo I guess what I’m saying is that this is on you for enabling me :p

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️(PROPOSALLLLLL - also my dear poor bobby trying to both encourage eddie to marry buck while also trying to prevent him from proposing poor guy)

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(loving the established buckley-diaz family!)

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸(EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! - the sound my heart makes when i think about this fic)

🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮(explore them childhoods buck and bobby!)

🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮(a lovely dog and a tsunami avoided i do think things are looking up for buck!)

🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠(NICO MY BELOVED IVE MISSED YOU SO!!!) (and while i support your declaration that this is the last one if you ever change your mind please know I’ll be thrilled to see any other stories you dream up)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(after what you’ve done with your vampire premise im slightly scared and entirely excited to see what you do with zombies!)

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑(MADNEY CINDERELLA?!?!??! WOW YOURE TOO GOOD TO US CAL I CANT WAIT)

…yeah I definitely went crazy feel free to cut this down as much as you need. Thank youuuuuuu you’re amazing!!

HEY!!!!! YES I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS.

Do not apologize for the length. I saved it for last (unless someone submits something else) so that I could dedicate the right time to it. I am pumped.

---

Starting with 48 for ⚡️ (Proposal chapter posted! So this will be post-proposal!)

---

Eddie laughs. “You sure did.”

“It looks great,” Maddie agrees. She walks around Eddie and Chris to give Buck a big hug.

“Congrats, guys,” Chim adds. “This is awesome. I knew it would happen from the moment you had that dumb, peacocking argument in the fire station gym.”

“What?” Chris asks.

“Nothing,” Eddie says quickly. “Chim’s just being funny.”

“Thanks, man,” Buck laughs. “I appreciate all your help.”

Jee wanders over to Eddie and Chris and stands on tip toes to look at Eddie’s ring. Eddie lowers his hand to give her an easier view.

“Wow,” she says, looking at the ring. “Green!”

“He wears a lot of green,” Chris tells her. “It made sense.”

“I do,” Eddie admits.

“I like green,” Jee nods sagely.

Maddie, Chim, and Jee leave after a few minutes. Eddie, Buck, and Chris make smoothies and sit in the kitchen, where Chris batters them with a million questions about the proposal. Buck does not forget to mention how Eddie derailed things. Kind of him, really.

“So when is the wedding going to be?” Chris asks once everything is blended and they’re all sitting down. “This year? Next year?”

“We don’t know yet, bud,” Eddie answers. “These things take some time to plan.”

Especially when you don’t have basic training and childbirth as a time constraint.

“Probably not this calendar year, though,” Buck adds. “We can take our time planning it, I think.”

Eddie nods. “For sure.”

“Well, where are you going to get married? Is it going to be big? Like a huge party?”

“Chris, Buck and I haven’t even started talking about that yet,” Eddie tells him. “Give us some time.”

“Well, you had all of last night!” Chris protests. “What else were you doing?”

Buck and Eddie stare at each other, nervously, for a moment.

Sometimes it feels like Chris is growing up way too quickly. Then a nice little moment like this comes along to ease his anxiety.

“I guess we talked about other stuff, kiddo,” Buck says, trying not to smirk.

---

27 for 🚨 (THANKS!)

---

“Wait, you know Alan?” One of the hungover, frantic-looking partygoers asks. Probably the one who called 9-1-1. He’s wearing a speedo and a blue terry cloth robe.

Eddie frowns. “Wait, you know Alan? Prescott?”

“Who do you think fell out of the pool?” The young man exclaims.

“What?” Eddie asks, expression dropping. His face goes a little pale.

“It’s Alan! Alan is the one who needs your help!”

That, Buck realizes, is not good. Very, very not good.

Someone Eddie used to love might be dying. Again.

🔹🔹🔹

There’s no way around the fact that it’s a rescue with a high chance of failure. Alan is in a bad position. There’s no way to get the truck underneath him to lift a ladder up. He’s off the side of a cliff. A cliff covered in thick foliage. And there’s not a lot to hook a winch up to to send someone down after him. Nothing super secure, anyway. The pool is huge and spans the majority of the back line of the yard. They can’t just rappel over.

---

69 for 🩸 (THANK YOU SO MUCH THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!)

---

Buck can’t stop chewing the inside of his cheek. It’s becoming a problem. He is beginning to taste the coppery tang of blood in his saliva. All these months of waiting, and it’s moments away from being finished. Buck is practically vibrating out of his skin.

They’ve arrived. Buck knows they’ve arrived, because Chris texted him the moment the plane was taxiing. Probably before he was even allowed to take his phone off airplane mode. He’s been keeping Buck diligently updated in the half an hour or so since. Which is how Buck knows they’ve collected Christopher’s checked bags. They’re on their way out of the baggage claim area now. They’re a breath away.

Buck fires off a quick text to Eddie and Sophia on WhatsApp, notifying them. They were able to get Eddie’s old phone charged and working, but unfortunately the line has been canceled for months on account of his supposed death. And he can’t exactly call the company to reinstate it. So Wi-Fi based communications it is, for now. Buck will get on adding a second line to his account, soon. They just need another SIM.

Eddie gives the message a thumbs up. It seems like a muted response, but Buck knows the truth is just that he’s probably sitting there shaking. There’s nothing to say, anyway.

It’s in that spot, standing in the arrivals terminal, checking his phone, chewing on his cheek, that he hears Christopher call out to him.

“BUCK!”

Buck lifts his head to see him. He’s making a good pace, trying to navigate the LAX crowd with his crutches, in a beeline towards Buck. He’s taller. A decent amount taller. Buck could weep.

He takes off in long strides towards Christopher, pushing past people who he might on any other day be apologetic to. Today they don’t matter. Today Chris is home. He’s here, in front of him. He hardly even looks at the veritable clone of Sophia walking, tight-faced, behind Chris as he reaches them. He and Chris more or less collide together. Buck pulls him into a tight, crushing hug, ignoring the way one his crutches dig into his thigh.

“I missed you so much,” Christopher says, eyes watering.

“I missed you, too,” Buck tells him. “I’m so happy you’re home.”

“Me too,” Chris mumbles.

Buck pulls away from him, leaving his hands on his shoulders. He scans Christopher head to toe.

“You’re so tall,” Buck laughs, eyes stinging. “What were you eating out there, huh?”

“You can’t talk!” Chris protests.

“I guess that’s true,” Buck smiles.

Buck takes a quick moment to look at Adriana. He can’t help but feel a cold coil of anger towards her, for how upset her sister was last night. He tries to remind himself she is missing critical information.

“Thank you for bringing him,” he says to her.

Normally he would probably offer to buy her lunch for her trouble and the long day, regardless of the discomfort between them. But he needs to get Chris home to Eddie.

Adriana purses her lips for a second before replying. “Sure. Chris, you’ll remember to call, right?”

“Right,” Chris agrees, though Buck can tell he’s annoyed. Probably not the first time he’s heard this.

Buck steps forward to take Christopher’s bags from Adriana. She slides them over without complaint.

“Is there anything you need before you catch your flight back?” He asks her.

She scoffs a little. Buck, again, is prepared to be mad. But then he sees such a sincerely hurt, heartbroken expression across her face. Her eyes, so much like Eddie’s, are big and wounded.

“There’s nothing you could do for me.”

“Tia…” Chris protests weakly.

Adriana hardly seems to hear him.

---

27 for 🔮:

---

It’s different, because Buck has so many other people in his life now. He’s not alone. But… But Bobby still didn’t go after him.

He should have gone after him.

But what would he have said? He still can’t explain himself.

Bobby looks around Buck’s room, hoping to distract himself from this feeling of uselessness. To take in more small, previously unknown-to-him details about Buck. This solitary, sad Buck. There is a stack of CDs on a desk. An iPod classic with a sort of girly sticker on the back. Bobby wonders if that came from Maddie. There’s a school library copy of To Kill a Mockingbird open and facedown, and a spiral bound notebook where the scattered beginnings of an essay are written in messy graphite. A gaudy school jersey is on the ground, next to cleats. He forgot Buck played football. He wonders if the sport was ever the draw, or if it was always the team.

All of a sudden, Buck flips over and sits up. He sniffs, rubs his red eyes, and pulls himself up off the bed.

“Fuck this stupid family,” he mutters.

Ouch.

Buck rounds his bed, picks up the cleats off the floor, and puts them on. He takes off his sweater, so he’s just wearing a tee shirt, and tosses it on the frame on his bed. He grabs a football out of his closet and tucks it under his arm.

Bobby watches, unsure of what he’s about to do, as he walks over to his bedroom window, wrenches it open, ducks his head low, and swings a leg over the side. Bobby’s eyes widen nervously. What the hell is he going to do? Well, Bobby knows what he’s going to do. He just doesn’t know if this is one of those stories that ends with Buck breaking a bone.

---

Well 🦮 has been posted! And I hope you enjoy/ed it!

In exchange, what I can give you is 24 sentences of the fic I started to replace it, another Gotcha for Gaza prompt. I will give it no context, but here it is and here's it's emoji 🛞

---

“Well, you weren’t the last person to sit in this seat,” Buck explains.

Eddie frowns. “I wasn’t? Someone else changed my settings?”

Chim holds back a sigh. If they could turn on the Jeep and get going, that would be great. He has a former foster child being adopted by his best friend to see.

“Eddie, Chris was the last person to sit in the seat. He changed the settings.”

“Oh,” Eddie says. “Well, I’ll have words with him later.”

Wow.

“He resets my settings in your truck, too.” Buck argues.

“No, you reset his settings in the truck, because you have giraffe legs.” Eddie rebuts.

Chim is going to scream.

“Eddie, you’ll survive,” he says. “Buck, let’s beat traffic.”

“Right, right,” Buck says, starting the ignition. “Can you put in the address for me, Eddie?”

“Yep,” Eddie replies, taking Buck’s phone right off his thigh, and plugging it in. The Apple CarPlay display flickers to life.

Eddie holds Buck’s phone to his face and it unlocks.

---

45 for 🌠 (haha thank you! I am open to more but feel like I've explored what I wanted to?):

---

“You ran off, right?”

“No!” Nico shouts. “I didn’t want to be alone! I don’t want to be alone! I want Dad!”

He sounds like a little kid. Half of Christopher’s heart aches for him. Half of it resents him. And that latter half is cruel and unfair and Chris knows that. He knows it’s good that Nico is terrified and unsure how to act. He knows it’s good Nico isn’t used to this. It’s fucking great for Nico, that, by this age, he hasn’t dealt with a parent killed by a distracted driver, a parent shot overseas and at home, and a parent struck by fucking lightning. He is healthy and adjusted and things have always, always been easier for him.

And Christopher feels like a total asshole. Here he is, not far off thirty years-old, just realizing how much resentment he holds for a child. His little brother. Who he does love. Really, he loves him dearly. They’ve just lived apart more than they ever lived together, and it feels like they don’t know each other as well as they should.

When you find something to work on, you forget about everyone else.

Fuck.

“Nico, okay, I won’t-”

“Dad could be dying and you don’t even care!”

Tears are streaming down his brother’s face now. Christopher wants to scream. He feels frozen. This feels impossible. Sometimes he thinks about the fact that his dad and Buck weren’t that much older than he is now, dealing with him at this age. How his dad was younger than him when his mom died and he was alone with a little kid. And Christopher wasn’t the world’s easiest kid. He knows that. Even if Dad would never, ever say it.

“That’s not exactly what’s… Of course I care,” Christopher tries to reason. “God, of course I care.”

“Then why are you just working and acting like nothing is happening?”

Christopher takes a deep breath.

“Nico, it helps me to keep my mind off of it,” he explains. “If I don’t, I get anxious. Because I care a lot, okay? You think I don’t? Between us, I’m the one who knows how shitty it feels to lose a parent.”

Nico’s expression drops. Anger and hurt turned to immediate regret.

---

24 for 🧟 (Thank you! A bit more traditional zombies. Mostly bc none of our characters is one haha)

---

Hell, they could be so fucked up from everything that has happened nine months, that they’ve just snapped and want to cause pain. Buck isn’t risking the only family he has left.

The cop car stops right in front of the turn to drive into the library parking lot. Like it, too, doesn’t want to cross the red line. The driver’s side door opens with urgency and a woman steps out. The windows are all tinted, and Buck can’t see if there’s anyone else in the car.

The woman’s back is to Buck, her arms in front of her, holding something. A gun perhaps. She’s dressed in what looks like the pants part of a cop uniform, but a bright, souvenir-style tee shirt. She’s shorter than Buck, but carries herself with a presence. An authority that, under other circumstances, Buck would either butt heads against or easily follow.

The woman takes a step towards the library.

Buck stands up and aims.

“I wouldn’t do that.” He calls.

The woman whirls on him, handgun pointed right at his forehead with what he can just tell is precision. If this goes badly, no chance she misses. He can see that.

“Nice to meet you,” the woman quips. Buck would put her in her fifties. She has the trace of a southern accent. The tee shirt she’s wearing has a big, illustrated orange on it and the word Florida. Which explains the accent.

---

36 for 👑 (THANKS! All credit to the prompter though):

---

“While Santa Claus was dying and she was covered in his blood?”

“Oh, please. Santa will be fine.” Hen waves a dismissive hand. “But who knows? Maybe fate will intervene and you’ll bump into her again.”

ii.

Fate does intervene. Just not in the ways Chim might expect.

It’s a two-pronged day of surprises.

They have a shift the day after Christmas. Christmas which Chim did end up spending alone. He didn’t feel right about going to Hen’s, and he didn’t feel right intruding on the Lees, so he just told each party he was going to the other’s. It was kind of shit. Not that he’ll say that to anyone.

The point is, they’re on shift. It’s the 26th of December. They get called a kitchen fire in Beverly Hills. Nothing serious; a kid trying to make fancy vegan, gluten free cookies while her parents obviously were not supervising. No one is hurt. But that’s where Chimney sees her again. On a Christmas card of all things!

He physically has to stop in front of the mantleplace where it’s displayed. A glossy, photocard type thing of two older white people with their two adult children.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from the Buckleys, it reads. Wishing you all the best in 2018. From Phillip, Margaret, Maddie, and Evan.

Whoa. Whoa.

She has a name. Maddie Buckley. And from the distant way they’re all sitting in the portrait, not touching, that is certainly her younger brother, not her younger husband. Yikes. Now that he looks closer at them, neither Maddie nor Evan looks especially happy to be there. They’re all dressed in expensive clothing. Hair styled. This is a very, uh, special Christmas card. They look rich. Beverly Hills rich.

#daisies and briars writes #things we're all too young to know fic #any other way fic #long death fic #weary memory fic #i always wanted my own spark fic #go and kill go and die fic #madney cinderella fic

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 years ago

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hii sex witch

im 19 afab and ive never had sex before, i masturbate sometimes but ive never had an orgasm and dont know how to "get it"?.. im generally scared of sex and identified as asexual for a long time but i dont think thats really my deal, im just scared of it. im scared of it being awkward, of my partner not finding me atractive or worse. i dont like how i look naked, and dont imagine anyone ever could. i think my vagina and my boobs look ugly and alien, i preach body positivity and being natural i think all bodies are good no matter how they look but when im faced with the reality of my own body im repulsed by these parts of it. i think something may be broken inside me because i just cant Be Normal about sex, the thought of me having it always makes me stressed and uncomfortable. i want a relationship and i love meeting new people and flirting etc. but when the person i talk to makes any sexual joke or innuendo i get super tense and scared and realise that if things get further they would probably want me to do it... and maybe i could and maybe i even want to but the thought makes me sick with the pressure. this isnt even a question, so i dont know how you could even respond but i dont have anyone i could openly talk about this in my life without feeling super weird or them just brushing it off as "you'll grow up to it" or something, and i just had to say it to someone or else i will eventually explode. hope this all makes sense ❤️‍🩹

hey anon,

come in, get cozy, grab a glass of lemonade, etc. we're gonna be here a minute.

so listen: I swear to GOD this isn't me trying to pull the "you'll grow into it" thing. I am going somewhere different with this I swear. bear with me.

first and foremost, I think the main problem you're experiencing right now is that being 19. I don't mean that in a condescending or belittling way, or to imply that you just don't want to have sex because you're 19. I'm saying that being 19 (and 18, and 20, and 21, and so on) is mostly for being worried about everything and having no idea what's going on. you have to get all that insane anxiety out of your system as early as possible in your adult years so that you can get down to business actually developing a perspective and figuring out what you want to do. I'm not even, like, a LOT older than you but trust me, by the time you're 26 you're going to feel SOOOOO different about things that you don't even realize you have an opinion about right now. when I was 19 I was made pretty much exclusively of anxiety and the cheapest bagels at the grocery store. (eating badly was not helping my anxiety.)

what I'm getting at here is that you're at like a very exciting and terrible formative age when it's the most normal thing in the world to feel like there's something uniquely awful and hideous and unlovable about yourself. when I was 19 the two most important things in the world to me were losing my virginity (lmao) and making sure I never experienced actual emotional intimacy ever because I was sure that if anyone got close enough to really know me they would realize that I was the worst person who ever lived and fundamentally undeserving of human connection. TERRIBLE place to be in; I had a lot of deeply bad and uncomfortable sex because of it.

there's a really easy solution to being terrified of sex, which I wish someone had told me when I was very scared of sex, and it's if having sex sounds like a horrific ordeal you can actually just Not Have Sex. just don't do it. it's actually REALLY easy to not have sex; millions of people do it every single day.

if you like meeting people and flirting, that's awesome! you should do that, having connections and relationships with other people is important. if you don't like sexual jokes and innuendos you can just tell people they make you uncomfortable and ask them not to do that; how they respond is actually a GREAT litmus test for whether or not those are people you should keep hanging out with. if someone isn't able to not make sexual comments about you after you've asked them not to, kick 'em to the curb!

there are tons of people in all kinds of romantic relationships who aren't having sex. that's a perfectly fine and reasonable boundary to set. it can make things a little more complicated, sure, but dating and romance and love are all complicated and messy anyway. again, great way to VERY EFFICIENTLY weed out who is and isn't a suitable potential partner. (it's also fine to not want a partner, either; there's nothing wrong with being a sociable extrovert who doesn't want to have sex.)

there's nothing broken about you for being nervous about the idea of having sex. whether you identify as asexual or not, it's perfectly fine to feel that way. it's completely fine if you change your mind tomorrow or if you feel this way for the rest of your life. and you might! maybe sex will never sound awesome for you, and that's fine! again, tons of people living very good and happy lives every day without having sex! sex isn't a measure of maturity, but knowing yourself well enough to honor your own boundaries and desires is.

I hope a kinder attitude towards your own body can come with time, and I think it will. be gentle with yourself, alright? being 19 is very silly but unfortunately very necessary, and I think you'll really like what comes after if you let yourself relax a little. whatever you feel like right now, you're actually a very normal person, by which I of course mean you have a rich and brilliant mind and will do many quietly wonderful things in your life and will be deserving of every bit of love and joy that comes your way.

also, hey - have you ever seen a therapist about anxiety? I also should have done that when I was 19.

#sex edventures 2023

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polyhexian · 1 year ago

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Since Raine was a teacher I think once they have Hunter living in their home they would immediately start to notice the signs of abuse. They would probably have issues with Hunter eating the normal amount of food for a kid his age because Belos starved him and also Hunter probably wouldn’t really be a big fan of something like pasta with sauce but wouldn’t say anything because he’s too nervous to make Raine unhappy with him so he doesn’t really eat much despite being underweight.

Hunter would probably go stiff if they put a hand on his shoulder or flinch if they heard them in anyway upset with him.

Hunter would probably take all of Raine’s suggestions on what to do while in the house at orders and carry them out with military precision even if Raine just suggested they watch a cartoon on the crystal ball.

Hunter probably has a lot of nightmares too so Raine would wake up to him screaming in his sleep.

Like Raine had hunter for a short while and the whole time it’s just one terrible revelation of what a monster Belos truly was after another.

raine definitely starts off worried about what the fuck jasper wants with this minor but i mean really theres better ways to Steal A Child, it being this SPECIFIC child who is VERY difficult to steal ironically makes it less suspicious like. okay. legitimately what is your game. and also like again despite the fact raine has seen him throw this kind on his ass a hundred times, theyve also seen him fucking vaporize one of their allies for trying to kill him so like. truly. what is his game here.

and then like. once they see how truly BAD it is with hunter, the way he flinches, how DEEP the soldier persona goes, the food and the sleep and the isolation- then its like. well, fuck, i would have wanted to help him too. so 1. how did the martlet know about all this before anyone else, because he CLEARLY knew about all this before anyone else did 2. why didnt he just tell me the truth? 3. why DIDNT he just take him and run?

i think theyre putting pieces together and while they probably have multiple theories- they might not know about the grimwalker stuff yet, but they know this kid is an orphan and related to the emperor, they know he was found the day the previous golden guard died, they know the martlet has the same colour hair as hunter, they've seen it, they know hes incredibly protective of him, they know the martlet is scarred as fuck and an incredible combatant AND a high level magic user despite never using magic- once they find out hunter cant use magic without a staff? click, dude. thats probably genetic! this guy has been around about as long as the previous GG has been gone. he looks like hunter, he's protective of hunter, he never uses magic without a staff, and the second raine asks darius about the previous GG, knowing they were close, "hey, did you ever see that guy use magic without a staff?" that seals the deal dude. raine has clocked that motherfucker from a mile away.

only now like. thats a NEW concern. okay, cool! parent. got it. well that explains his intentions. but now like- wow, he HAS hit this kid a lot, even if his motivations were clearly rescuing him. can he even be TRUSTED with him? would hunter be healthy living with this guy? is he even capable of living like a normal person? he still wont take off his stupid fucking mask or tell them his stupid fucking name! and oh, fuck- if he's the previous gg, he's done some VILE shit. should they be doing something about HIM?

darius and raine im sure have a very exciting conversation putting all the jigsaw pieces together before they realize that jasper isn't dead, jasper is the martlet, jasper is a powerless witch, jasper has a son, and holy shit is that son fucked up and in dire need of help.

meanwhile jasper is like ho ho i am sooooo good at lying and secrets absolutely no one suspects anything

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gontagokuhara · 5 months ago

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WAIT WAIT WAIT BEFORE THE UPDATE HITS CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE MAKOTO AND JUNKO "LORE" BECAUSEEE💀💀 EVAN CAPTORVATING MADE THE JOKE(?) TOO AND I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS 💀💀💀 LIKE WYDMM

OKAY ISTG THIS IS MY LAST "LORE ME UP" ASK BC I CANNOT KEEP CONSUMING YOUR CONTENT W/O GIVING YOU MY MONEY FOR IT I LITERALLY NEED YOUR COMMISSIONS TO OPEN BUT IM WAITUNG UNTIL THE END OF POINTY OBJECTS💀🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 (there's not a flag to wave for the pointy objects nation so I'm just waving the gay flag it's basically the same thing)

THIS MADE ME GIGGLE SO BAD IN THE MIDDLE OF WORK HELP 😭😭😭 oh i’m so excited for this chapter to go up EXPLANATIONS BELOW ‼️

ok. so. generally i’ve had the finer plot details of pointy objects nailed down and mostly unchanging though i Will add or go into more detail on certain things if i get the inspiration. so like pointy objects is Locked In. but sometimes the opportunity for shenanigans presents itself (and evan beckons me successfully to the dark side)

he is my Kokichi Correspondent but as the previously posted chapter makes abundantly clear. there’s another character that evan is a Knower Of that i humbly request his massive brain’s opinions on. enter junko enoshima. i will have very much more to say AFTER chapter twenty-seven goes up but for the sake of addressing the messy ex naejunko allegations:

…it started as a joke. still Mostly is one. but i have spent HOURS in recent months watching and listening and playing junko’s voice lines over the course of the series to get a Feel for her and her preoccupation with makoto intrigued me. evan’s art of the two of them cosplaying as their rival ocs also tipped me in this direction. they’re just so sillayyyyy makoto wants to fix her and junko wants to make her worse and they kiss about it until they start slap-fighting. it’s deeply unserious to me and i love it

so in terms of pointy objects: this is of the more Open-ended things, and i’m thinking the next couple chapters will allow people to come to their own conclusions. i, personally, think it’s very funny and silly to imagine po!naejunko are very, VERY distant exes who still have some major tension. i also think joking about all of the big five being messy whores and passing makoto around like a blunt (<- creds to evan for this one) is SUPER funny. it is equally acceptable to me to 1) consider this canon thousands of years in the past or 2) ignore this entirely and think of them how you see them presented in the text of pointy objects itself. MUCH more can be said on this next time <3

which i DO ENCOURAGE (though do not pressure) ALWAYS AND FOREVER i am obsessed with this fic. these characters this lore the story Etc Etc. its my baby in the same (if not more intense) way that my first big hitter fic ‘jump’ is. and if given the chance i will talk about it forever so comments/asks/questions/theories about pointy objects always make my day i love people being invested in something i am really proud of and love very deeply

so cider SNIFFS!!!!! i’ve told u over and over how grateful i am for you and your support and your engagement and all around loveliness and you are not even the first person to bring up paying for pointy objects and it makes me WEEP EVERY TIME!!!!! I’VE BEEN SOOOOO NEGLIGENT OF COMMISSIONS I WANT TO SO BAD I’VE JUST BEEN BUSY AND KEPT PUTTING IT OFF 💔💔💔 i snuck this into my faq a little while ago but to Anyone interested commission-wise in the meantime while i get my shit together. dm me 😏 i do need to get commission info finalized and OUT it’s not even funny. inshallah it will happen eventually

#ask #bittercideristaken #faglaios #<- bc he is mentioned here #pointy objects #dr #I LOOOOOOOVE U CIDER I SAY IT SO MUCH BUT U MAKE MY DAY SO OFTEN I LOVE SEEING U IN ANY CAPACITY IN MY NOTIFS ❤️❤️❤️#sooooooo excited for u to read the next chapter. in between slaying in NURSING SCHOOL ‼️‼️‼️ GOOD LUCK MY BELOVED <3 #💀🏳️‍🌈 <- official flag of pointy objects u heart it here first

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neowinestainedress · 6 months ago

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helloooo rebs i am once again with a review and this time is about hits different so let’s fucking goooo!!!!

But when you finally are done, he doesn’t shut up, he’s not half asleep like he usually is when you sneak out of his place on your tiptoes like a thief.

OKAYYY SO THIS ISNT A ONE TIME THING

Yeah, that’s why. It’s got nothing to do with the fact you created a list of rules to follow when you two started this and you would’ve rather got hit by lighting than broken one of those. He doesn’t know it, though. So, your different personalities and lifestyles make up a good excuse.

well i cant blame her shes smart for putting rules even if they are only for herself

i actually love when the characters unconsciously pick up habits and even more when the other person starts to realize about them something so sweet and domestic of knowing the little things about each other….

But you didn’t want to start a new thing, your ex was traumatic, no matter how good the sex was (it wasn’t even that good, currently he’s the only one you can get sex from without having to hold boring conversations with a drink in hand and spend the ride back to their place hoping you didn’t end up in the arms of a killer) he was an asshole.

SOOOOO REAL i totally get her

omg that’s the worst fear of being a girl and having a male friend cause why would they always wannt to ruin EVERYTHING

Haechan smiles, or smirks, it’s almost a chuckle, you can’t quite describe it. “At the gym.”

that smirk he always make is SO HOT im on my knees for him

You shake your head, sipping on the glass of alcohol and emptying it. “No, I’ve always been like this. I think nobody made a mess of me to leave me hooked on them.”

kinda wish i was her…

GRABBING MY HAIR RN IM SO EXCITED ALREADY (future me editing this: oh poor me… you didn’t know what was coming 😭)

girl wdym u didn’t ask for his number and nothing happened if i was her they would’ve had to take me away from him with security

But with him, that didn’t happen. When your eyes met again you felt something. He looked different, probably it was the black hair framing his face perfectly, some make-up on his face too, or the leather jacket he was wearing and the chains around his neck. You remembered him, clear as the sky. But he was even hotter, attracting you without saying a word, not that you would’ve heard. You were at a club, and he was leaning against the bar on the other side of you. But his eyes were speaking louder than words, and your feet followed an invisible path that got you right there, on the stool next to him.

GOD HES SO HOT I WANT HIM SO BAD

STANDING AT THE BAR LIKE SOMETHING’S FUNNY BUBBLE ONCE YOU FIX YOUR FACE I’M GOING IN

You’re stunned and a bit taken aback because you weren’t expecting that answer, and you don’t even expect your body to light on fire. It’s not really about the words, it’s the way he gets you, like nobody ever did before, like you want him to get you, to keep up with you. And it’s also in the way his body talks, it’s addictive, it is charming, the small fidgeting of the fingers, the bounce of his legs while his legs are a bit spread open and his thighs are perfectly wrapped by those jeans that make you want to do unholy things, and his eyes, that taunting, witty light and the grin on his face.

if i say what i’m thinking i’m going to jail……

No, you haven’t, and soon you also find out why you’ve never done it.

so true do NOT recommend

doggy, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, upside down, inside out, one leg up, two legs up, in public, on a spaceship, in the garden, on the grass, in a car, in a box, on a table, against a wall

but you want him too badly and you can’t wait any longer, so you propose a thing, “Sit here, I’ll ride.”

she’s so me

he’s too hot and uses it to his advantage a bit too often, he can’t keep getting away with it.

i’ve been saying….

“Wanted to fuck you since I saw you standing at the bar,” you confess nonchalantly, and he thinks you can’t be real, but he has no time to dwell on you and the way you are because you’re taking his breath away. He can’t even lie, he wanted you too since the same moment, if not since the very first night, so having you here feels a bit unreal.

me too girl, me too.

It might seem strange that there’s no rule implying not falling in love, right? Well, it’s not in your brain because you never even thought that could happen. You’re not even sure you ever loved the people you dated, how could you fall for your friend with benefits?

well unfortunately i have some news for her…

You hate to admit it, but you stare at the phone a little too long, why is he so polite about it? Damn, is your bar set so low? Is it really that bad that 90% of the men you met would’ve sent you a dick pic as the first message or a ‘what would you if I was in the shower with you’ text? Probably it is.

lmaooo so true

you really couldn’t get those tricks, truly sure that if somebody is interested in you they won’t disappear or appear based on how fast or slow you reply

not related to the story but this made me sad cause this reminded me of my “best friend” and i think the same

do you know whom you’re talking to? A loser.

PLEASKEDJSKX 😭😭😭

The biggest surprise Haechan gifts you is that… he is not an asshole.

WE CHEERED (the bar is in hell)

“Keep your eyes on me,” he orders and you unwillingly open them again, locking them in his. “That’s it, pretty girl.”

god im not your strongest soldier

You weren’t in the mood, too busy letting your thoughts get the best of you, a mix of lewd images of what you would’ve done to the man you couldn’t drift your eyes from and sadness looming over your head like a cartoon cloud.

literally me

“We do,” he replies but it’s like he’s not done, as if there’s something more he wants to tell or confess. He stops for a second, sipping on his bottle while staring at the sea at the horizon before resting his forearm on his knees and sighing, “but you never say anything about yourself.”

i want to be mysterious like her so bad but i don’t know how to shut up

He laughs, shaking his head. This time he’s the one diverting his gaze, the next words that are about to come out sound too vulnerable in his head and he doesn’t want to imagine how heavy they will sound out loud. “I’m just saying, I would keep some things of you only for me to know

he’s so cute

this made me sad :( like i get her but i also get him so i feel this whole situation is kinda unfair for him but at the same time they both know this is clearly only sex

“and don’t mark me, you don’t want the others to find out, right?” No, you don’t. Or maybe you do, maybe it’s time for something to happen and break you and him apart. Cause you feel you’re going down a slippery slope and you don’t like this. Maybe you should fuck this whole thing up like you always do. But you can’t, deep down, you don’t want to.

god no please nooo she needs therapy

SHES THE ALBATROSS SHE IS HERE TO DESTROY YOU

“Look at you,” he whispers, biting your earlobe, “is it so terrible to not have everything under control?” You feel a hint of bitterness in his voice, almost as if he’s mad at you for not letting go like this under other circumstances. “You don’t have to worry about anything.” (…) Yes, with me,” he says. “You don’t have to think about anything when you’re with me. I’ve got you.”

my cutie ☹️☹️

NO I KNOW IM A WALKING CONTRADICTION AND IT SHOWS GOT A HISTORY OF BEING IN CONTROL IM AWARE THAT I COULD END UP HERE ALONE

That made perfect sense, but it doesn’t make sense that you panicked at the idea of him with another girl, almost feeling sick to your stomach and about to throw up.

I PICTURED YOU WITH OTHER GIRLS IN LOVEEEEE THEN THREW UP ON THE STREET

“I have a spare one,” he says before you can go back to your true self, “it can be yours.”

crying, he’s soo sweet

That toothbrush eventually becomes yours. It sits there, right next to his, and every time you get up in the morning to escape from his bed, you’re reminded of all the lines you’ve crossed. You didn’t bring it from home, he fucking gave a toothbrush to you, and he doesn’t keep it scored somewhere in case you need it, no, it stays right there, always, next to his, as if it belongs there.

WAIT THIS IS SO SWEET SJDJSKDJSK ITS JUST A TOOTHBRUSH BUT IT HOLDS SO MUCH MEANING

If you were your usual you, you would’ve been able to see the glint that crossed Haechan’s eyes at your words, probably even to hear his heart skip a beat and his hands shake for a brief moment, but again, you are not there tonight

im crying he likes her so much i need them to get together asap or ill die

Not everyone can carry the baggage that we bring with us, and that’s fine.”

he feels like a warm hug ❤️‍🩹

“It’s fine, I’m used to an empty bed anyway, so it’s not much of a difference when I wake up and don’t find you there.”

oh ☹️

“Also doing Channie a favour, you know,” he winks and then chuckles, but you don’t find the implications funny, and your stomach twitches in discomfort.

GIRL i have something to tell you….

“Think they’ll end up doing it in the bathroom or the car?”

mark just shut up 😭😭😭😭😭

“Yes,” he replies as if he’s shocked by your underestimation. “People know what goes on even if they can’t see, and then it moves and fogs and it’s… embarrassing. Haechan has never been that attracted to somebody to the point of fucking in a car, he’d rather go home with his balls blue.”

WE’RE SO BACK (kinda)

“Hey, pretty,” a man’s voice speaks from the side; barely five minutes of peace and you are already crowded with unwanted attention

i HATE when im not in the mood and this happens

“Her boyfriend,” Haechan talks before you can even think of an answer, too dumb you were already thinking of a short way to explain what was going on between you. “Needed something, sir?”

SHDHAKDBSKDNSK STOP YES YES YES I WAS PRAYING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN

Your head is not facing the ground anymore, with a snap so fast you know it’s a miracle you didn’t break your neck, your eyes lock with Haechan’s. And then you laugh, hysterically. It’s a fake laugh and he gets it, he can see you panic, he saw it in your eyes that brief moment they intertwined, and he knows. You are jealous.

im grinning so hard rn

she’s so funny cause she refuses to be vulnerable in front of him and let him know her more but then she gets jealous and end up behaving like this shdjsj but i get her if i see haechan flirting with someone else i would also make a scene just to not lose him

You have everything there anyway. His toothbrush that became yours. His white t-shirt that became yours. A new set of towels he had bought just for you. His favourite mug that became yours. A warm bed. A pillow with a beating heart. And probably something else you’re not ready to face yet.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

STOP IM ABOUT TO CRY AND MY CHEEKS HURT FROM GRINNING SO MUCH I LOVE THEM 😭

nooo stop im getting kinda mad cause she’s making him suffer just to “protect” herself when in reality she’s just hurting them both

This doesn’t feel like fun like your usual hard fucks, it’s like a sense of sadness and bitterness is running between you and it makes your heart sting.

THIS IS HER FAULT

“What?” He growls in response, hips slamming harshly against your ass. “Is this still not enough? Am I still not enough? Will I ever be enough for you?”

nooooo my baby she fucked up so bad and i feel really bad for him :(

CAUSE ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU DONT YOU THINK I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO BE USED AND DISCARDED DONT YOU THINK I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO THINK I DESERVE NOTHING?? (everything goes back to the traitor series…)

He nods quickly and then starts thrusting into you, this time he won’t stop until you come, but he pushes your body up against his because he needs you. He needs your scent to be all over his skin, he needs to remind himself you’re not a dream even if you continuously slip from his fingers, he needs to remind you and himself that he’s the only one that has you like this. He is the best you ever had and that’s a little consolation

this is so sad im so sad he truly is a cutie

girl be serious she’s making me mad now 😑 (me from the future: i was genuinely starting to get so mad here sidjsjdj)

And the best solution would be to talk about it, set some boundaries again, or put an end to things like adults, but, even if the years pass by, you feel like you only keep getting older but not wiser.

I HAVE THIS THING WHERE I GET OLDER BUT JUST NEVER WISER (same)

i want to slap her CAN I SLAP HER???

SPLENDIDLY SELFISH CHARMINGLY HELPLESS EXCELLENT FUN TIL YOU GET TO KNOW HER THEN SHE RUNS LIKE ITS A RACE BEHIND HER BACK HER BEST MATES LAUGHED AND THEY NICKNAMED HER THE BOLTER

WTFF?????? im so mad right now like she’s seriously so dumb i understand (maybe)l, not really) trying to get away because she was scared and hooking up with other men but go back to fuck her ex??? that’s so low

But you still don’t pick up that damn phone, not even when a month passes by and Haechan reaches for you, apologizing.

OH NO SHES FUCKING SICK.

i won’t bother you again i promise

I GAVE YOU ALL MY BEST MES MY ENDLESS EMPATHY AND ALL I DID WAS BLEED AS I TRIED TO BE THE BRAVEST SOLDIER FIGHTING IN ONLY YOUR ARMY FRONTLINES DONT YOU IGNORE ME

DO SOMETHING BABE SAY SOMETHING!!!! LOSE SOMETHING BABE RISK SOMETHING!! CHOOSE SOMETHING BABE I GOT NOTHING TO BELIVE. UNLESS. YOURE CHOOSING ME.

oh SHUT UP im so mad at her right now that i cant even sympathize with her. haechan was nothing but understanding and caring and loving with her and she was just an asshole she even had the opportunity to change but she chose not to and hurt him so much

It takes you a while, but you get over him and get back to your daily life, the real one. No more depressing couch-sitting-eating sessions or extremely exhausting workouts to burn your brain down, no more avoiding social life and crying yourself to sleep.

i hate her so much right now…

“You first say I need some fun and then the fun breaks my heart and now the fun at the bar is not okay because I’m not sober to you and him and why I can’t have nice things?”

“the fun breaks my heart”

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP THIS IS LITERALLY YOUR FAULT

“He seems rather heartbroken, and he asked a weird question about you.”

and when i punch her then what

Your eyes lock with Johnny’s and your brain would like to lie and mumble some nonsense but your heart can’t keep bleeding without being taken care of anymore. So, hot salt starts streaming down your face silently and your head faces the ground while two strong arms wrap around you

i’m still too mad at her so i cant sympathize sorry (not really)

“But I’m scared. I hated seeing him with someone that wasn’t me. The mere idea of him being with somebody else now makes me sick. This is scary.”

l PICTURED YOU WITH OTHER GIRLS IN LOOOOVEEE THEN THREW UP ON THE STREETS

You breathe in deeply and rub your temples. “But what if it’s wrong? What if… God, I’m doing all this and I’m not even sure he likes me back.”

SHES SO DUMB ILL PUNCH HER

It will tear you into pieces if you keep putting rules to things that are destined to flow freely.”

EXACTLY like you can put rules to something you can’t control she’s not talking about school or a job she’s talking about feelings !!!!

No, you didn’t pick up the phone even after that conversation with Johnny. It felt humiliating to crawl back to him after so much time, so you decided that whatever was going on, was destined to die.

my anger was starting to die down but now it is BACK AGAIN

You didn’t do anything but sit on a bench and hold back your tears while everybody else was having fun. You should’ve stayed at home, it would’ve been better than having to deal with Wonyoung — apparently, that was her name — laugh and giggle every time Haechan opened his mouth, or their intertwined hands while they both tried to learn how to use the ski. And now it’s not going better, she’s sitting on his lap while he caresses her hair with one hand and the other draws circles on her palm, and all your friends are sharing knowing glares as they point at them.

IM ABOUT TO KILL MYSELF

I SAW YOU MET SOMEBODY AND IM JEALOUS AS HELL THAT I CANT EVEN STOMACH LOVING SOMEBODY ELSE

You never had that with him, and the jealousy mixes with bitterness, until you realize that the arrangement you had didn’t include any of that. So why did you want it so much? Why do you want to be her so badly right now?

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP

“It doesn’t matter, you had all the right to stop it,” he shrugs, looking down for a second, probably closing the app on his phone because you don’t hear the faint sound of the video playing anymore. “I don’t cry for sex.”

ouch she totally deserves it but it hurt

“I…” you stop and look away. Your leg is bouncing nervously and you’re playing with your fingers, pressing your nails into your skin. “I have to tell you something.” “Yeah?” “I… I lo—” “Haechannie!” Wonyoung’s voice rings loudly in the room, stopping you from going on. “We are taking a look around, want to come with me and keep me warm? Also, we’ll have dinner together.” You shouldn’t find the way she bats her eyes so irritating, neither her voice, or the way she’s looking at him right now, but you feel like puking, and you hope Haechan will decline; out of all the things he said before, you heard he was tired and wanted to go to bed, so he will say no, right? “Yeah, I’d love to. Be there in a minute.”

no but IM THE ONE ABOUT TO THROW UP STOP IM SUPER SAD

“No, definitely didn’t change,” he whispers when you run away from his fingers again. He wants to block you in, to stop you from slipping away, but if he couldn’t do it months ago, he doesn’t see how he can do it now. After all, you’ve never been his. This isn’t different from what you used to do in the morning, now he looks at you and can see that nothing changed. (…) You are long gone and he doesn’t even know how and why he lost you. Maybe it’s better like this, maybe all this silence coming from you can give him a reason to hate you and move on.

im not joking when i say im about to cry this is so sad :((((

CAUSE YOU WERENT MINE TO LOOSEEE YOU WEREN MINE TO LOSE (happy august btw!!!!)

But moving on from you seems something impossible to do.

moving on was always easy for me to do…. it hits different it hits different cause it's you

You hum and feel your heart break into million pieces again. It shouldn’t hit you so hard and leave you trembling, but it does.

rebs why would you to this to me 😭😭😭😭😭

“It wasn’t even started.”

oh so you HATE ME not this phrase it literally haunts me it’s been YEARS

He snorts and you glare at him, but that doesn’t faze him. “You said you were doing fine; it doesn’t look like it.”

i know its selfish but PLEASE HAECHAN DO SOMETHING I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

“No. And don’t call me babe. I’m not your problem and I’m not your babe.”

IM NOT YOUR PROBLEM ANYMORE SO WHO AM I OFFENDING NOW

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he says resolutely

smiling fot the first time in ages

You glare at him, eyes dropping on your intertwined arms in disbelief when he links them and starts walking away from there.

please dont get my hopes up if this wont take them anywhere or ill kill myself… (future me: should’ve killed myself back then….)

after all these months he knows you can pass as bossy sometimes, and like things in a certain way, so he lets you.

sjdhs literally mee

“Thanks,” you utter, looking out of the window and grinning. This is wild, all over the place, and smells like the calm before the storm, but you like it because you’re back with him by your side.

girl who’s going to be okay

“I missed this,” he whispers after a few minutes when you’re both halfway through your order (…) “I missed this, dumbass,” he says, and you feel your heart in your throat when your eyes meet, and he has that glint that you love so much. It’s like a light shining through, and some softness that only shows up in certain moments, you still don’t know what causes it, but you love it.

he’s so sweet and selfless she doesn’t deserve him but if they dont end up together ill kill myself

“I don’t have a toothbrush at your place,” he laughs, reminding you that in the heat of the rush, you never went back to pick up all your things at his place.

AAAAAH WE’RE SO FUCKING BACK (future me: if only i knew…)

Things go back to normal after that. You’re not sure it’s healthy, considering you didn’t confess your feelings (…) The good sex is back. Haechan is back. You are back. The tension in the air is gone and you can enjoy the nights out without Mark worrying about you looking more dead than alive. And Johnny thinks you finally let loose.

seriously??? 😑

“No,” you cry out. He couldn’t play with you like that, sending you a video of him fucking his fist while he moaned and whimpered. You had spent the past six days replaying it, waiting for this moment to come, and even if he was so hot even through the camera, you needed to feel him inside, outside everywhere.

i have so much to say about this im going insane.

You feel lost in a haze when you turn around and snuggle closer to him, breathing in his scent and running your fingers on his chest. You look up and see him smiling lazily at you, and you reciprocate (…) Once he has ordered food and you’re both sitting in the bathtub, you let the warmth of the water wrap around you. It feels nice after the exhausting sex, and you love the scent of Haechan’s body wash, you love feeling his arms around you and his hands on you.

am i reading this right… is this aftercare??? we’ve come so far i’m so proud of her<3 (future me: ……….)

ILL KILL FOR THEM

NOW PRETTY BABY IM RUNNING TO THE HOUSE WHERE YOU STILL WAIT UP AND THAT PORCH LIGHT GLEAMS (…) AINT NO WAY IM GONNA SCREW UP NOW THAT I KNOW WHATS AT STAKE

But all the fears you have to face still appear like an insurmountable wall that menaces crashing on you.

suppressing my anger rn…

is she fucking kidding me right now ill fucking kill her cant stand her anymore (future me: i was TRULY mad here)

“I’m scared, okay? What’s between us is… is not going where I planned it to go and it’s becoming so much. I just don’t know what to do,” you try to explain, trying to keep your composure and don’t shake like a leaf.

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP YOURE A GROWN ASS ADULT GET OVER IT OR STOP HURTING HIM 😑😑😑😑😑

im so sick and tired of her.

PUSH AWAY ALL THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME THE BEST BUT ITS ME WHOS BEEN MAKING THE BED IM SO TIRED OF BEING THE GIRL THAT I AM EVERY GOOD THING HAD TURNED INTO SOMETHING I DREAD AND IM PLAYING THE VICTIM SO WELL IN MY HEAD BUT ITS ME WHOS BEEN MAKING THE BED

??????????????? girl be serious i need her to THINK before she speaks cause shes just saying bullshit at this point. “im trying not to hurt the ones that i love” my ass

EVERY SINGLE THING I TOUCH BECOMES SICK WITH SADNESS CAUSE ITS ALL OVER NOW ALL OUT TO SEA

“But why? I thought I was better than your ex, why are you pushing me away?” He knows he’s not perfect, but he’s never done anything to hurt you, moreover, he always tried everything to protect you and make you feel good, and that went beyond sex. He thought it was clear, but apparently, it was all to waste.

she doesn’t deserve him.

“Oh, really?” It’s a scoff, full of sarcasm, mockery and resentment and it’s even followed by a click of the tongue.

i’m 100% with him in this

AND DOWN THE ROAD YOU WILL LOVE ME UNTIL YOU RESENT ME

“I don’t know.”

someone PLEASE slap her

“Because I love you?” He screams, jaw dropping as he realizes what he said. “Fuck, there, I said it, and I scared you away once and for all, but honestly, I can’t keep doing this any longer. I love you. I don’t know why but I guess I am dumb and always fall for the people I can’t have. But I do. And I would love to sit here and listen to you because, guess what, I want this to work out. Because that’s what normal people do. They talk and they listen. They don’t run away.”

he deserves so much better….

“Grow up.” “Grow up because you need to learn how to deal with this shit, whatever it is, whatever is making you act like this. Excuses and apologies are not enough. You might not hurt people on purpose, but you still do and I…”

THATS RIGHT TELL HER and while you’re at it please slap her too 😁

Your breath gets stuck in your throat and more tears flood your face, blurring your view. Those words feel like a gunshot straight to your heart and you can’t believe you’re hearing them from him. You know that wasn’t his initial thought, but he doesn’t backtrack.

here she goes… playing the victim one again 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

“No, please,” you scream when Haechan starts walking to the door swiftly, opening it before you can even make him out. “Don’t leave,” you cry, struggling to stand on your knees. “Don’t leave me, too.”

oh so she can leave and ghost people but they need to be patient and understanding with her? fuck off

“I need to be alone,” his voice is broken and he’s clearly holding back tears, and you’d like to run in his arms and hug him, but, once again, the rational part of you is holding you back, so you let him go, like you let go every other person of your life, with the difference you didn’t care about them as you care about him.

😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑 literally no words rn.

Johnny chuckles, “And what if he’s the love of your life?”

more like the loss of her life at this point…

DANCING PHANTOMS ON THE TERRACE ARE THEY SECOND HAND EMBARRASSED THAT I CANT GET OUT OF BED CAUSE SOMETHING COUNTERFEITS DEAD

“You let Haechan in, maybe explain something to him so he puts his mind at ease because I think that both Adele and Taylor Swift’s discographies are about to end, he seemed rather depressed in his stories.”

lmao he’s so me

Haechan chuckles, it’s a bitter laugh, trapped in the back of his throat while his eyes roll to the sky and his head shakes. “Us? Now you decided there’s an us?”

the satisfaction i’m feeling right now

He hums, he’d love to add that he doesn’t want you to leave, but he keeps his mouth shut and waits for you to talk.

oh my sweetie selfless cutie pie☹️

“No, I do, because you let me… you let me in. You talked about your family, about your struggles, how you moved here on your own and I said a few things and I even lied.”

here comes my anger again….

listen i know that must have been very traumatizing for her specially since she was only 15 when it happened but i still blame her and dont pity her cause she should’ve went to therapy a loooong time ago but she chose to be selfish and hurt everyone around her so i cant sympathize with her (future: i still can’t sympathize with her 😭)

“I love you,” you confess, looking into his eyes and he freezes, the hold on your palm loosening. “And that’s the shitties confession ever, and I’m so sorry I just finished trauma dumping you, but I… I can’t keep losing good things in life because I’m afraid of taking risks. I can’t erase you, I’ve tried, but I can’t.”

i honestly dont know how to feel

ONE DAY ILL MAKE SURE YOU GET A REAL APOLOGYYYYY

I love you too much to care about what will happen, to worry about something that might not even happen. But even if it will, even if life will ever tear us away, I want to live in the present, I want to kiss you in front of our friends, I want to hold hands when you pick me up from work, I want to sing with you in the car as we drive to our favorite place, I want to wake up next to you and don’t have to sneak out like a thief. I want to leave my toothbrush at your place, next to yours, right where it belongs.”

FINALLY she’s expressing her feelings and making him feel loved

“And I know I’m hard to be with but if you want me, if you feel like you can take me for who I am, I promise that I won’t disappear ever again and I will let you in.”

crying she doesn’t deserve him but im happy for him<3

You smile, gulping before moving closer, leaving only a few millimetres between you. “To us.” When your lips meet it feels like a patch being put on your broken wings.

IF YOU KISS ME WILL IT BE JUST LIKE I DREAMED IT WILL IT PACH YOUR BROKEN WINGS??

AWWW FINALLYYYYYYYY WE FUCKING CHEERED WOHOOO IM HAPPY FOR THEM AND I WISH NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS FOR THEIR FUTURE (not me talking as if they were an irl couple) AND IF SOMEONE TRIES TO SEPARATE THEM ILL KILL THEM AND THEN KILL MYSELF

well… so it is 3:23 am and i just finished. this was such a rollercoaster of emotions i went from haha this is so fun to aaw they are so sweet i love them to i FUCKING HATE HER SHUT UP!!!! to omg i want to fucking die i’m so miserable to we’re so fucking back!! to I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!! to i love them please get married ill kill for them

the amount of anger i felt is not a joke i wanted to punch her so bad at one (two) point(s) 😭 thank god johnny is such a good friend cause if they didn’t end up together i would have KILLED MYSELF and honestly you never fail to impress me they way you write is so good and every time you make me feel so many emotions like the amount of ANGER i felt was only because of your good writing so i applaud you rebs

also i hope you know i dont mean bad when i say i hate her and everything because in reality (i do hate her sjdj im jk) i love every character you wtite cause they are so different and complex every time, you truly feel you get to know them while reading the story. the way you describe them is so good i love it!

and i can’t wait to read the bonus asap (i was planning to read it immediately but i end up finishing hits different later than i planned and also i didn’t expect the bonus to be so long but i love you for that) (future me: im hoping i can read the “sequel” this weekend so well see)

also i’d like to add they way you write is so smart cause not also you describe the characters so well and add the perfect amount of angst jokes love etc but you also manage to put in little details of the song that inspired you to write this… for example i loved when she was saying his name in the car (i slur your name til someone puts me in a car i stopped receiving invitations) cause it made sense and didn’t feel forced? idk i love those little details<3

anyways read you soon rebs have an amazing weekend 🩷

p.s: i tried to edit this to correct some grammar mistakes but i also did it past midnight soooo… if you see some mistakes no you didn’t

- 💌

i’m so ready for this!!! let's go!

past you not knowing you would’ve hated her for this ajsoaisa

He sucks his teeth, rolling his eyes at your panicked eyes that are looking around the room, before he responds nonchalantly, “Couch, probably. You always throw it there.” You quirk a brow. Always? Are you picking up habits? i actually love when the characters unconsciously pick up habits and even more when the other person starts to realize about them something so sweet and domestic of knowing the little things about each other….

“something so sweet and domestic” before the storm and the total chaos lmao (no but it’s really cute)

this is so funny after reading the whole ask you went through 100 different emotions

The fear that it was his way to confess to you and screw up twenty years of friendship got your skin crawling for a second, but when you were left alone with the black-haired man to your right, it all made sense. omg that’s the worst fear of being a girl and having a male friend cause why would they always wannt to ruin EVERYTHING

no fr men always ruin everything thank god johnny is not like this

Haechan smiles, or smirks, it’s almost a chuckle, you can’t quite describe it. “At the gym.” that smirk he always make is SO HOT im on my knees for him ù

if I don’t make him smirk in every single one of my fics i will DIE

You shake your head, sipping on the glass of alcohol and emptying it. “No, I’ve always been like this. I think nobody made a mess of me to leave me hooked on them.” kinda wish i was her…

same

Back then you didn’t know where that night would’ve led you. You had no idea that the person that would’ve made a mess of you was right there by your side. But of one thing you can be sure, it was Johnny’s fault. GRABBING MY HAIR RN IM SO EXCITED ALREADY (future me editing this: oh poor me… you didn’t know what was coming 😭)

THIS IS SO FUNNY AKSAOOSA

You’re sure that night nothing clicked between you and Haechan; whatever Johnny had in mind, didn’t happen. You two didn’t even exchange numbers, you can’t even remember if you said a proper goodbye to him when you stumbled out of that restaurant hanging from your best friend’s arm. girl wdym u didn’t ask for his number and nothing happened if i was her they would’ve had to take me away from him with security

she was trying to be mysterious

pick your poison babe… i’m poison either way…

TELL ME I WANT TO KNOW

He laughs and then shakes his head. “So shitty you can’t take some more for me?” He tilts his head, raising his brows while he briefly looks down where his hands are patiently waiting for your good to go and get out of his pants. doggy, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, upside down, inside out, one leg up, two legs up, in public, on a spaceship, in the garden, on the grass, in a car, in a box, on a table, against a wall

this is insane omg what happened to shame? (same)

but you want him too badly and you can’t wait any longer, so you propose a thing, “Sit here, I’ll ride.” she’s so me

at least you get her when it’s time to be horny that’s good

she thought she did something (just like haechan did in wave)

you really couldn’t get those tricks, truly sure that if somebody is interested in you they won’t disappear or appear based on how fast or slow you reply not related to the story but this made me sad cause this reminded me of my “best friend” and i think the same

oh that’s so bad, i’m sorry, i hate when people fight over that, it’s so, so stupid

do you know whom you’re talking to? A loser. PLEASKEDJSKX 😭😭😭

called his ass OUT

same unfortunately

“I was thinking — oh, shit,” Haechan mumbles before you shut him up by jumping on him and crashing his lips on yours, your fingers locking immediately in his hair and pulling it back harshly. “Wow, fuck, needy tonight?” this made me sad :( like i get her but i also get him so i feel this whole situation is kinda unfair for him but at the same time they both know this is clearly only sex

this part broke my heart so badly ngl. i always feel insane to say this because they only exist in my head but the way haechan wanted her to happy, to lift the weight off her shoulders even when he didn’t know what it was, even his love was so selfless, you know? (especially after when he tells her to let go of control) and the way he was already so happy he could at least somehow do it while they had sex makes me so sad. he’s the best

I SCREAMED LMAO (true)

SHE’S THE DEATH YOU CHOSE YOU’RE IN TERRIBLE DANGER

THIS OMG DELETE (but this part was what i was referring to before, that "i’ve got you" held so many unsaid words)

That made perfect sense, but it doesn’t make sense that you panicked at the idea of him with another girl, almost feeling sick to your stomach and about to throw up. I PICTURED YOU WITH OTHER GIRLS IN LOVEEEEE THEN THREW UP ON THE STREET

I love it when you get the lyrics references

ikr? such a small thing but so nice

spoiler: you died…

Not everyone can carry the baggage that we bring with us, and that’s fine.” he feels like a warm hug ❤️‍🩹

he does :(

“Think they’ll end up doing it in the bathroom or the car?” mark just shut up 😭😭😭😭😭

mark was a menace lmao

we weren’t back at all

“Hey, pretty,” a man’s voice speaks from the side; barely five minutes of peace and you are already crowded with unwanted attention i HATE when im not in the mood and this happens

worst thing ever, i was sick even while writing it

“Her boyfriend,” Haechan talks before you can even think of an answer, too dumb you were already thinking of a short way to explain what was going on between you. “Needed something, sir?” SHDHAKDBSKDNSK STOP YES YES YES I WAS PRAYING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN

it’s cliché i know but i HAD TO WRITE IT

“I didn’t drink,” you huff, throwing your head back against the seat and closing your eyes while you damn every decision that led you there. “Got two small glasses of something that wasn’t even worth it while I watched you grind on her all night.” she’s so funny cause she refuses to be vulnerable in front of him and let him know her more but then she gets jealous and end up behaving like this shdjsj but i get her if i see haechan flirting with someone else i would also make a scene just to not lose him

she truly thought she was slick and smart and was failing terribly

they were at their best here (it lasted one week)

“Oh, sure, of course, you weren’t just hugging me, fuck,” he curses when you tease his inner thighs, never touching his sensitive part. There is a hint of sadness in his words but you pretend you don’t get it. nooo stop im getting kinda mad cause she’s making him suffer just to “protect” herself when in reality she’s just hurting them both

this was so sad to write cause i could perfectly see haechan sulking because he was expecting something sweet and she just wanted to fuck

This doesn’t feel like fun like your usual hard fucks, it’s like a sense of sadness and bitterness is running between you and it makes your heart sting. THIS IS HER FAULT

IT’S COMPLICATED THO i know it's not the same haechan cause this is a different universe but… the winestainedress!haechan got his payback for the way he acted in sour. you have to be honest we forgave him FAR WORSE THAN THIS!!!!

“What?” He growls in response, hips slamming harshly against your ass. “Is this still not enough? Am I still not enough? Will I ever be enough for you?” nooooo my baby she fucked up so bad and i feel really bad for him :( CAUSE ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU DONT YOU THINK I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO BE USED AND DISCARDED DONT YOU THINK I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO THINK I DESERVE NOTHING?? (everything goes back to the traitor series…)

once again... hits different!haechan is paying the price of what sour!haechan did

You just proposed to fuck, it was normal in your relationship, so why was he mad and why were you sad? What happened in that fragment when your bodies were tangled in a mess bigger than what it looked like? girl be serious she’s making me mad now 😑 (me from the future: i was genuinely starting to get so mad here sidjsjdj)

i can only imagine how mad you were i’m sorry aodosids

must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero (it is, it’s me, rooting for the mc)

You ghosted him. Left his place after breakfast with a promise to text him in the week just to never pick up the phone to go to his contact again. You even have to avoid Johnny and your friend’s nights out because you can’t face him. i want to slap her CAN I SLAP HER??? SPLENDIDLY SELFISH CHARMINGLY HELPLESS EXCELLENT FUN TIL YOU GET TO KNOW HER THEN SHE RUNS LIKE ITS A RACE BEHIND HER BACK HER BEST MATES LAUGHED AND THEY NICKNAMED HER THE BOLTER

SHUT UP WHY IS THE BOLTER HER SONG OMG AOSKOASJO

splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, excellent fun 'til you get to know her, then she runs like it's a race. behind her back, her best mates laughed and they nicknamed her "The Bolter"

You went back to your ex and met up with two people you met at a club, when, too heartbroken, you needed someone to fill the void inside of you, only for things to get worst and leave you heartbroken, full of guilt and unsatisfied. WTFF?????? im so mad right now like she’s seriously so dumb i understand (maybe)l, not really) trying to get away because she was scared and hooking up with other men but go back to fuck her ex??? that’s so low

that’s the sign that she was desperate…

i won’t bother you again i promise I GAVE YOU ALL MY BEST MES MY ENDLESS EMPATHY AND ALL I DID WAS BLEED AS I TRIED TO BE THE BRAVEST SOLDIER FIGHTING IN ONLY YOUR ARMY FRONTLINES DONT YOU IGNORE ME DO SOMETHING BABE SAY SOMETHING!!!! LOSE SOMETHING BABE RISK SOMETHING!! CHOOSE SOMETHING BABE I GOT NOTHING TO BELIVE. UNLESS. YOURE CHOOSING ME.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP NOT THIS SONG

do i throw out everything we built or keep it? i'm getting tired even for a phoenix always risin' from the ashes, mendin' all her gashes. you might just have dealt the final blow. my poor haechannie :(

You don’t reply even this time, but you cry and sob into your pillow, covered by your sheets as the phone glows in the dark. And you cry and cry until you feel like you can’t breathe and the weight on your chest gets heavier and pushes you down into your misery. oh SHUT UP im so mad at her right now that i cant even sympathize with her. haechan was nothing but understanding and caring and loving with her and she was just an asshole she even had the opportunity to change but she chose not to and hurt him so much

looking back at this i’m surprised people made it to the end of the story cause with no explanation she was a bit insufferable

“You first say I need some fun and then the fun breaks my heart and now the fun at the bar is not okay because I’m not sober to you and him and why I can’t have nice things?” “the fun breaks my heart” SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP THIS IS LITERALLY YOUR FAULT

…true

“He seems rather heartbroken, and he asked a weird question about you.” and when i punch her then what You breathe in deeply and rub your temples. “But what if it’s wrong? What if… God, I’m doing all this and I’m not even sure he likes me back.” SHES SO DUMB ILL PUNCH HER

THIS IS KILLING ME AJDSOSAKSJ

It will tear you into pieces if you keep putting rules to things that are destined to flow freely.” EXACTLY like you can put rules to something you can’t control she’s not talking about school or a job she’s talking about feelings !!!!

SHE’S TRAUMATIZED LEAVE HER ALONE (no but you and johnny are right it’s just hard for her...)

i’m not supposed to laugh but i can’t help it

STOP I’LL CRY NOOOO

real (if someone said that to me i would kill myself right in front of them)

no but IM THE ONE ABOUT TO THROW UP STOP IM SUPER SAD

we could’ve avoided some pain if wongyoung minded her business

BACK WHEN WE WERE STILL CHANGING FOR THE BETTER WANTING WAS ENOUGH FOR ME IT WAS ENOUGH TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL CANCEL PLANS JUST IN CASE YOU CALL AND SAY MEET ME BEHIND THE MALL SO MUCH FOR SUMMER LOVE AND SAYING US (happy august!!!)

You hum and feel your heart break into million pieces again. It shouldn’t hit you so hard and leave you trembling, but it does. rebs why would you to this to me 😭😭😭😭😭

i’m so sorry (i will do it again)

“It wasn’t even started.” oh so you HATE ME not this phrase it literally haunts me it’s been YEARS

please don’t tell me someone said it to you😭😭

He snorts and you glare at him, but that doesn’t faze him. “You said you were doing fine; it doesn’t look like it.” i know its selfish but PLEASE HAECHAN DO SOMETHING I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

do something = pay for her therapy lmao

“No. And don’t call me babe. I’m not your problem and I’m not your babe.” IM NOT YOUR PROBLEM ANYMORE SO WHO AM I OFFENDING NOW

noooooooooooooooooo but also i offer you “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this godforsaken mess that you made me”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he says resolutely smiling fot the first time in ages

did not last long i fear :(

You glare at him, eyes dropping on your intertwined arms in disbelief when he links them and starts walking away from there. please dont get my hopes up if this wont take them anywhere or ill kill myself… (future me: should’ve killed myself back then….)

yes… it would’ve hurt less

(is not going to be okay)

he really is the perfect man

“I don’t have a toothbrush at your place,” he laughs, reminding you that in the heat of the rush, you never went back to pick up all your things at his place. AAAAAH WE’RE SO FUCKING BACK (future me: if only i knew…)

IT’S JOEVER

disjodisorf

share it with the class…

ajdkjsdfs at least you were proud of her for like… two seconds…

From anything else that ever happened before with anybody else, and even with him. And you think you might get used to this. To a home, not a house. To a place to come back to that’s full of life and love. To him, and his laugh, and his voice, and his clothes scattered around, and his screams when he loses against his friends. ILL KILL FOR THEM NOW PRETTY BABY IM RUNNING TO THE HOUSE WHERE YOU STILL WAIT UP AND THAT PORCH LIGHT GLEAMS (…) AINT NO WAY IM GONNA SCREW UP NOW THAT I KNOW WHATS AT STAKE

BUT IT’S GONNA BE ALRIGHT I DID MY TIME (it’s truly gonna be alright)

Haechan has no intention of letting it slide this time. When he can’t reach you through call, when you still don’t answer his texts after five days, he knows he won’t write pathetic, heartbroken messages to you to let you go again. is she fucking kidding me right now ill fucking kill her cant stand her anymore (future me: i was TRULY mad here)

ahsdskfkfkdl i’m so sorry

You break into a cry, but you immediately stop yourself, forcing the tears back in your eyes and the sobs down your throat. Once again you can’t give him an answer, just a useless apology. “I’m sorry,” you mutter, keeping eye contact no matter how much it hurts because you need him to know you’re being honest, you’re not lying or putting up walls. It’s just hard to tear down the ones you already have built around yourself. im so sick and tired of her. PUSH AWAY ALL THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME THE BEST BUT ITS ME WHOS BEEN MAKING THE BED IM SO TIRED OF BEING THE GIRL THAT I AM EVERY GOOD THING HAD TURNED INTO SOMETHING I DREAD AND IM PLAYING THE VICTIM SO WELL IN MY HEAD BUT ITS ME WHOS BEEN MAKING THE BED

THIS IS SO HER NOOOOOOOO

“Everything. All of this is new to me and I… I’m trying to be a better person. I’m trying not to hurt the ones that I love, and don’t fuck everything up, but I can’t. Everything I touch becomes sick and dies and… and I don’t know what to do.” ??????????????? girl be serious i need her to THINK before she speaks cause shes just saying bullshit at this point. “im trying not to hurt the ones that i love” my ass EVERY SINGLE THING I TOUCH BECOMES SICK WITH SADNESS CAUSE ITS ALL OVER NOW ALL OUT TO SEA

the way this applies to her brother too… i’m gonna be sick

“Oh, really?” It’s a scoff, full of sarcasm, mockery and resentment and it’s even followed by a click of the tongue. i’m 100% with him in this AND DOWN THE ROAD YOU WILL LOVE ME UNTIL YOU RESENT ME

he’s god strongest soldier tbh

“I don’t know.” someone PLEASE slap her

johnny was really close to doing it

she will become the better he deserves i promise

i would like to be excluded from the narrative

the emojis are killing me ajsoaios

Johnny chuckles, “And what if he’s the love of your life?” more like the loss of her life at this point… DANCING PHANTOMS ON THE TERRACE ARE THEY SECOND HAND EMBARRASSED THAT I CANT GET OUT OF BED CAUSE SOMETHING COUNTERFEITS DEAD

oh, what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye. the coward claimed (s)he was a lion. i’m combing through the braids of lies. “i’ll never leave” ...“never mind”. our field of dreams, engulfed in fire. your arson’s match your somber eye..................................... (killing myself right now)

“Remember when I told you about Johnny and my brother?” Haechan nods, even if he doesn’t get its correlation with you two. “I lied. They never fought; my brother died,” your voice falters as it comes out to give him such a big piece of you. You take a deep breath and then exhale, “It was all my fault.” listen i know that must have been very traumatizing for her specially since she was only 15 when it happened but i still blame her and dont pity her cause she should’ve went to therapy a loooong time ago but she chose to be selfish and hurt everyone around her so i cant sympathize with her (future: i still can’t sympathize with her 😭)

the worst thing about this is... that she only really hurt donghyuck cause before him she never had something serious with anyone else 😭 but yeah therapy was necessary can't say otherwise

she will get better i promise

she needed time (84 years...)

You smile, gulping before moving closer, leaving only a few millimetres between you. “To us.” When your lips meet it feels like a patch being put on your broken wings. IF YOU KISS ME WILL IT BE JUST LIKE I DREAMED IT WILL IT PACH YOUR BROKEN WINGS??

it DID patch their broken wings

It’s soft, and there’s still a lot of fear in your shaking hands and lips, but it feels like floating in the sky. You know it’s going to be hard for the both of you, he has his skeletons just like you have yours, but this feels right. This feels like the place where you have to be. In his arms, hanging from his lips. AWWW FINALLYYYYYYYY WE FUCKING CHEERED WOHOOO IM HAPPY FOR THEM AND I WISH NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS FOR THEIR FUTURE (not me talking as if they were an irl couple) AND IF SOMEONE TRIES TO SEPARATE THEM ILL KILL THEM AND THEN KILL MYSELF well… so it is 3:23 am and i just finished. this was such a rollercoaster of emotions i went from haha this is so fun to aaw they are so sweet i love them to i FUCKING HATE HER SHUT UP!!!! to omg i want to fucking die i’m so miserable to we’re so fucking back!! to I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!! to i love them please get married ill kill for them the amount of anger i felt is not a joke i wanted to punch her so bad at one (two) point(s) 😭 thank god johnny is such a good friend cause if they didn’t end up together i would have KILLED MYSELF and honestly you never fail to impress me they way you write is so good and every time you make me feel so many emotions like the amount of ANGER i felt was only because of your good writing so i applaud you rebs also i hope you know i dont mean bad when i say i hate her and everything because in reality (i do hate her sjdj im jk) i love every character you wtite cause they are so different and complex every time, you truly feel you get to know them while reading the story. the way you describe them is so good i love it!

i didn’t reply to some things before because i wanted to give a broader explanation without repeating myself 10 times. i get why you feel this way toward her, she’s not an easy character at all. and i know this time i dragged the pain for long but as someone with some not-so-healthy coping mechanisms i know it’s not easy to snap out of them no matter how much you want to. it doesn’t justify anything because she DID hurt him but, at the end, they talked about it and that’s what matters. if both are willing to grow i believe you can put the pain of the past in the past and move on. also (probably it’s not clear cause it’s not from his pov) but haechan knew there was something deeper and that’s why he decided to not let go and talk to her and listen, if he didn’t care for her he would’ve dipped long before they reached that point. same thing goes for her, it was a lot, and if she let him in it’s only because she deeply cared for him.

i always see the same dynamics in fwb to lovers when the man pushes her away but with no reason to do so other than being an asshole. i wanted to give it a twist and don’t write the same old “she falls in love first and he doesn’t like her like that, and she’s miserable”. i wanted to put something more and give more depth to everything, like the lack of communication and where it leads you and how hard it is to heal and that love doesn’t solve everything but sometimes makes it harder cause it feels like something more to carry and not ✨a light happy feeling ✨. i’m aware this way it hurts much more also because the reader knows both have feelings but well, traumas suck so it is what it is.

and let’s be honest, the one who did the most was johnny and I’m really happy about that because friends are so important in these situations and he opened up her eyes, supporting her but also being honest and pushing her to get out of her comfort zone.

i’m happy you liked it either way. actually, it makes me happier that you liked it even if you didn’t vibe with her cause damn, that means i am good at something hahaha

i hope you will like her more in the sequel cause even if i would’ve strangled her now and then i love her a lot, she was such a complex character to write and i had so much fun. (yeah it is long, i had a lot to say lmao but i really love them and i missed writing about them)

i always panic about everything being balanced and in the right amount so this makes me take a breath of relief. YOU NOCITED THAT YAS! i love that line in the song, i had to also put it in the story somehow. i put a lot of efforts in details so when someone picks them up it makes me incredibly happy

anyways read you soon rebs have an amazing weekend 🩷 p.s: i tried to edit this to correct some grammar mistakes but i also did it past midnight soooo… if you see some mistakes no you didn’t

see you at the next aks! don’t worry about the mistakes i understand anyway and i’m sure i make them too

have a great week! 💖💖💖

#anon answered #💌 anon #fic: hits different

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