#but i never could have done that if i wasn't sufficiently pissed off

[jellogram]

I hate public speaking but that gets overwritten the second I get angry enough. Like never in a million years could I give a presentation to a large audience without throwing up, but one time in college I fully told a professor off in front of 100+ other students because that guy fucking deserved it and the dragon who lives in my brain lit a fire under me that could have burned down all of Rome. I think I blacked out. Absolutely no regard for the fact that 100+ people were listening and watching. All I could think about was "Someone needs to tell this man off and I guess it's gonna be me"

[imrllytootiredforthis]

i loved that sub!yandere chan thing you wrote godddd.

the mind games idea is a lot of fun. i also love the idea of like. shamelessness that it could provoke?

like say you found out about his creepy lil photo folder and his panty collection. he's stoked bc /finally/ he's going to get the punishment he's been yearning for and maybe he even gets it initially. spanking, degradation, being made to hump your leg or pillow (side note. he'd totally have rutted against your pillow or fave plush toy before)

but AFTER THE PUNISHMENT.

he'd get ignored and told he's scary and you don't want him around anymore. he'd be absolutely devastated. quick to piss off so all the boys give him a wide berth. god help any of them that mention or hang out with you during that time.

as a last resort, bc he has no shame when it comes to you and would do anything to get you back it would result in him begging and grovelling in public. an effort to make YOU look like the bad guy and thus forcing you to give him the attention he's sure he'll die without.

finally, finally you find out everything chan's been doing.

every dirty picture and stolen pair of panties, every time he's watched you sleep and stood outside your window while you slept,

every creepy and messed up thing he's done

he can hardly contain his excitement, enjoying it way too much when you call him a dirty disgusting perv, falling to his knees in front of you as you continue to berate him,

crawling ever so closer all the while, entranced, captivated and extremely fucking horny at the way your cheeks are red in an angry flush, in the way you look so utterly angry and downright mean glaring at him

a moan slips out and he can hardly contain himself, whining as he comes into contact with your leg, rutting and humping against you like a bitch in heat, the same way he did it to your pillow in secret but this way, against you, the real thing, it feels so much better

you look down in complete disbelief at him, at his actions, at the way he looks so dumb looking back up at you with glossed over eyes, begging you to punish him, begging you to make him regret being such a perverted little whore

you kick him away in disgust, pushing him onto his back, his thrusts not stopping even so as he continues to roll his hips into nothing.

he enjoys the punishment too much

enjoys how you step on his chest, telling him to stop being so dirty and gross, telling him to be good and strip down for you.

enjoys how you take a sharpie and write all over his skin, branding him with all sorts of names, making him shudder with every line. in fact he enjoys it so much that he's cumming before you even finish.

but of course, that isn't a sufficient punishment. he's in for a long, long night.

---

he didn't know what he expected to come after. never thought that far ahead. but he definitely thought that with the words you wrote all over him still present, the bruises and hand shaped red marks stamped onto his skin that you'd at least acknowledge him.

that you'd still stay with him.

you don't.

you stop talking to him. block his number, tell everyone some bullshit excuse about a falling out. give all of his things he left at your place to his friends and tell them to give them to him.

but you know better than to talk to them for any more than a few quick minutes, especially when chan's around. paranoid and wary of him like he wasn't under you whimpering for more only a few nights ago.

he wasn't what you thought he was.

he was the one sneaking around your house at night, doing so many things unbeknownst to you in the name of 'love'.

but wasn't he still the sweet boy that brought you soup when you were sick, or the one that came to check on you when you overworked yourself, bringing you food and making sure to take a break.

wasn't he still him? or was he something else entirely.

he can hardly believe that you're ignoring him. everything's gotten worse since then.

he can't sleep, he can't get any work done, he can't talk to anybody else without wanting to clock them out within a few sentences of talking to them, because they're not you. and he doesn't want to even see anybody that isn't you

but you seem set on ignoring him.

avoiding him like the plague, not answering your door when he comes and knocks for hours on end, even going so far as to shouting out that you're going to call the police if he didn't leave.

how could you do this to him?

how could you hurt him like this when he just wanted you? wanted your love and attention and to see you happy?

was that too much to ask?

apparently yes, so what's his last effort for you? his last effort to get any ounce of attention, even if it's because you're looking him like you wish you could choke him with your own two bare hands (which he wouldn't be entirely opposed to)

he makes a scene.

shows up to your workplace, in front of all your coworkers, your boss and a handful of customers.

falling to his knees at your feet.

why do you do this to him? when he's loved you all this time? when all he's done, it's all happened because he cared for you, because he wanted you, because he wanted to be seen and loved by you.

tears slip down his cheeks, a performance worthy of an oscar, truly. a performance that you yourself can almost believe. that you can almost be fooled by until you remember everything.

every little trick and mindgame. every lie and secret and disgusting little perverted habit.

and even though your eyes are full of pure hate. of a type of anger that can only be produced of being betrayed by someone you thought you could trust.

it's all okay for chan.

all okay because you're looking at him. seeing him.

and he swears, that one that he'll make you love him.

--

how did this get so long???💀

[lieshot]

He expected some resistance, an ARGUMENT that telling Clint wouldn't resolve jack shit. And yet, how quickly the other seemed to agree. It was enough to cause Barney to make a small tsk against his teeth, laying back against the cot. ❝ Ty po-prezhnemu gotov podchinyat'sya prikazam, kak khoroshiy malen'kiy soldat, ❞ he muttered in Russian as a dig. You're still willing to obey orders like a good little soldier. And here he was calling Barney the dog. At least he wasn't no damn german shepherd just handing someone else the LEASH after being free. Maybe part of him had wanted that CONFLICT. Just give him a reason to let loose. Right now he was only being cordial for the sake of the cigarette he took a drag from, but he was ready to SNAP at any moment.

And Bucky was giving him every single reason with the following words that fell past his lips. It visibly made him TENSE, the cigarette filter being crushed between his fingers and eyes avoiding looking directly at the man. Jaw set and locked, one hand trembling with every URGE to stand up and beat him senseless. He didn't know shit, didn't know anything, he couldn't. But part of it was a terrifying truth: He could recall his dad's face perfectly. Beet red from the liquor, contorted into the perfect vision of RAGE. He didn't know it but practically the spitting image of when Barney had gone BERZERK on Bucky in that warehouse, swinging a knife around to get any sort of hit down on him. Clearly anger ran more in the blood of one brother than the other though he wouldn't dare compare Clint to their ma.

The worst part was that some days, if he really tried, he still couldn't get a perfect image of his mother's face. How he had loved her and he could barely recall what she looked like. Whisps of blonde hair, a broken smile, but that was about it. Probably blue eyes but Barney couldn't recall for certain.

❝ You shut your goddamn mouth when you're talkin' about her. ❞ That country twang came out just a little thicker, too pissed off to rely on the slightly more city accent he'd adopted in his twenties. No one had any RIGHT to even mention her and that's all Bucky seemed to be doing. Bringing up his parents, throwing those memories back in his face. A trip down hellish memory lane, the man having been determined to keep the thoughts of HYDRA and his childhood locked away in the furthest recesses of his mind. Don't think about them, don't let them break him DOWN. And like hell he was going to admit that he could barely recall his mother to the asshole in the cell with him.

Just STOP talking. Of course Barney wouldn't have just let Clint rot. How many times in the army had he others sat, waiting for news of MIA comrades? How many times had he and the others been the ones to go and recover whoever and whatever they could after a mission? Dog tags had never been SUFFICIENT enough for Barney back then, though that was part of their whole purpose. No body, no proof, especially when their missing brothers could just as easily wind up as prisoners of war. There was always a sense of RELIEF when a corpse was found though it was coupled by grief. At least they were done suffering. At least they were done FIGHTING. Right now, he'd liken them more to his brothers than his own flesh and blood. The one that had been CONTENT to just sit back and do nothing. If they had known, if they had heard about him 'dying' while undercover—— well, Barney would bet all he had that they'd be looking for him.

Clint had just sat back and either KNEW or didn't give a shit enough to actually look. It still felt like the former, especially with how many times the little Avengers had come to blows with HYDRA and he never knew? Never looked over records or anything? ❝ I might have gone lookin'. But that's just because I had a duty of fuckin' care put on me as a kid for the damned RUNT. You know how many bodies I had to pull back in the army? Clint never really learned the lesson of 'no man left behind'. ❞ He didn't deserve to be anyone's HERO.

Not with what Barney knew. Not with what he wanted the WORLD to know.

He could see the shift in the other at the mention of bringing Clint down and his lips twitched upwards for just a moment in a clear smirk before settling back down. Clearly he wasn't the only one with a TEMPER. Sitting back up, Barney was slow to get to his feet. Just in case, he wouldn't be caught off guard again. ❝ No, you aren't getting the PICTURE yet. First, I'm going to ruin his name. Make every fuckin' civilian doubt him. Maybe even his own little teammates. Then I'm gonna start picking off anything he cares about. Rip him apart, piece by piece. Beat him to hell several times, not just once. Maybe I'll come for you first to get under his skin, maybe after so you can see the AFTERMATH, who knows? But he's gonna regret every day I was left down there. I'll destroy him until he just wishes it was over. And you might just be around to see the FINALE of this little fuckin' circus act. ❞ Once and for all. Then maybe Clint would have an idea of what he had gone through. Break him down just like HYDRA had tried to do.

Bucky’s jaw twitched and his eyebrows drew together.  He wasn’t scared of much, but telling Clint all the things he did to his brother?  Yeah, he was scared of that.  No matter what the outcome was, it would be shit.  Clint could be volatile.  He was a good guy but he was fueled by emotion and instinct and sometimes that ended up coming out in ways he regretted later.  There was a good chance Clint wouldn’t even let him finish.  He’d just storm out and tell him not to be there when he got back.  That would be heartbreaking for Bucky.  Worse still would be if he just said it was okay, that it wasn’t Bucky.  He’d heard so many times that when he had done that back then, he was a victim too, and he Bucky hated hearing it.  And if Clint did that, Barney would hold it against him.

Either way he knew that Clint wouldn’t be able to look at him.  Not right away.  Maybe not for a week or so while he processed it.  Even if he did tell him it wasn’t his fault.

But Barney was also right.  Not only did Bucky need to do this so Clint could make the choice to be with him based on all the information, but Bucky had hurt Barney and if Barney wanted him to tell the whole damned world what he’d done to the man, he’d do it.  Barney deserved that respect at least.

“Okay,” he said.  “I’ll tell him.”

Bucky shook his head.  “There’s a difference.  There’s a difference between your dad and Clint and all the rest of them.  Including me.  You want me to hurt.  You want me to feel everything I put you through.  It doesn’t matter that I did or worse before you got there.  You want it to be from your own hand.  But you watch the life drain out of my eye and you’re done.  You don’t mourn me.  You might think of me again but never consciously.  I’m just the avatar for the trauma you went through.  Your family though?  There’s always love there, even when there shouldn’t be.  You HATE your dad because he should have LOVED you.  You wanted that, right?  Wanted him to stop hitting you and tell you he was sorry.  The way he died wasn’t good enough because there was no resolution.  There was just an escape that took your mother with it.   There was no, I was wrong.  I should have been better.  There was just the cops at your door and  them taking you to the next place where the cycle started over.  But you don’t think about those foster parents with the same burning hatred you feel for your dad right?  They’re just faceless fists that hit you or abused you in other ways and then bounced you to the next faceless abusers.  I bet you can still see your dad’s face right?  Probably even clearer than your moms.  Because he had one job and that job was to love you and you were a little boy who couldn’t see why you didn’t get that.”

That was a risky speech.  He knew there was truth to it.  He had so many friends with that same trauma.  He’d heard it again and again like a loop.  He’d heard all those things from Clint’s lips when he’d been drunk and hurting so bad he was doubled over with it. Steve Rogers’ dad who beat him and his mother until he died young.  Tony Stark who’s would be pacing the room while he talked about needing a drink because his father had taught him that’s how you processed pain and grief from the age of seven.  Bruce Banner who had been thrown down the stairs by his father at the age of two and then ended up beating that same man to death by his mother’s grave.

But Barney wouldn’t want to hear it.  Not from anyone, especially not from Bucky Barnes.  And there was a chance it would be the straw that sent his rage right over.

“But Clint - Clint’s different again.  Because you do actually love him.  You love him and hate him and resent him.  It’s all a jumble of emotions.  He never beat you.  All he did was be the imperfect person he is.  Good enough to get accolades, but caught up in his ego not to realize who was getting left behind or yes, even hurt.  And that’s what hurts.  He SHOULD have noticed.  Because YOU would have, right?  You wouldn’t have left him to rot in HYDRA.  If there was no body, YOU wouldn’t have rested until you found one.  Because you love him.  And it stings to know that he didn’t do the same for you.  Especially when you were going through what you did.  But YOU - the real you, not THIS  - YOU wouldn’t want him dead for that.  The real you will grieve if you do it.  So you gotta get to the bottom of this because it won’t fix it.  It won’t.  You’re just gonna make it worse.”

His prosthetic flexes and he’s hit by the sudden urge to remind Barney exactly who he’s dealing with.  To start beating on him until SHIELD come in and drag him out of there.  The conversation is done.  If he stays in here any longer one of them will snap and it won’t be pretty.   He shoves his hands into his pockets and nods at the security camera.  “You’ve warned me.  And I’ve warned you.  The people who are important to Clint are important to me too.  You get out of here, I know what’s gonna happen.  I won’t stop.  I won’t be held on a leash.  I’ll put you down.  You know I can do it, all that bravado doesn’t change what you know to be true.” 

[buckybarnesdiaries]

a piece of cake

© @jamesbrnes

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Something happens at Shuri's birthday party that leads to a heated fight.

word count: 3k words. (fuck, it worth every damn word)

warnings/tags: nsfw, +18!!! angry jealous sex, let's start there. unprotected sex, oral sex (face fucking and ridding), fingering, brief daddy!kink, brief praise!kink, language, cursing, handcuffing, mention of bodily fluids, and probably i'm forgetting something else, i just lost my mind. bucky being the cutest and loving man on earth at the end.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

join the tag list here.

You had never been so quiet, but you knew that opening your mouth only could cause a storm inside the car, on your way back home. Believing you could have a pinch of luck, Bucky wouldn't notice that something was raving you mad since the moment you watched him letting another woman give him a spoon of cake. Straight to his mouth. You almost choked on your drink, talking to Shuri about how excited she was to celebrate her birthday in New York, when you witnessed the scene hearing their laughs and watching how they dared to touch his metal arm constantly. Your boyfriend was talking with some of his old friends from Wakanda, not even knowing he made friends there. He never said a word about it. Even so, they didn't have the right to flirt with him. Unless he didn't say anything about you.

But Bucky wasn't stupid. Or at least, not like you thought. Gazing you by the corners of his blue eyes, he was conscious that something was going wrong. He licked his upper lip briefly, slowly. He tasted the waters putting a hand on your thigh, which was your favorite gesture while he was driving, deriving with your fingers laced and him placing kisses on the back of your hand. But you didn't move an inch, still staring through the copilot's window with your elbow nailed there and your chin resting on your knuckles.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing”.

Your passive tone and the lie as a response caused him to frown, pulling over the car to focus on you. He turned on his seat and placed a hand behind the headrest of yours.

“Spit it”.

You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow ironically, looking at him for a second. If he had to ask it was because he wasn't really seeing the dilemma there.

“I'm just tired and I wanna go home, James. That's all”.

James. James. You did it unconsciously, but he didn't take it as an innocent manner of calling him. Unexpressive, the soldier joined the highway driving faster than he used to. You had pissed him off, but it wasn't your problem. He had hurt your feelings with something he didn't give any importance to. The only thing you wanted was to take a shower, put on your comfier pajamas and go to sleep, probably you'd see tomorrow that situation differently than today and you could move on from your insecurities and the jealousy running through your veins.

You arrived at your apartment in record time, keeping the car inside the parking under the building. You removed the seat belt to wear your leather jacket and grab your purse on your feet, stepping out when you were ready. But Bucky stayed inside, just turning off the engine. He didn't have any intention of leaving it, maintaining his hands tightly gripped around the wheel. You ignored him as soon as you couldn't pretend you were just tired anymore. It was the first time something like that happened and you were having a strong desire to throw your guts up.

Three minutes later you were under the warm water with your forehead resting against the cold wall and your eyes closed. Maybe you were overreacting and the rational, mature behavior would be to go to talk with him, tell your boyfriend what made you feel upset. Sighing as you nodded two times, determined to put the cards on the table, you shut off the faucet and walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

“Oh, fucking hell!” You growled because of the scare of your life when you found Bucky already in your shared room.

He had his back supported on the wall, a leg flexed, and his hands behind himself. No expression on his face, but expecting an explanation from you. You were hoping for something from him too, maybe I don't know what I've done to make you feel like that, can you give me a clue? He just stared at you in silence, drying the pearls of water decorating your body before wearing a pair of black panties and your forgotten pajamas instead of one of his t-shirts impregnated on his scent.

“Com'ere”. Bucky whispered, stretching his flesh hand on air when you were about to go to sleep.

“No”.

Well, that wasn't the proper way to talk like grown adults. You crossed both arms on your chest, standing next to your side of the bed.

“What'd you say?” He squinted incredulous, slowly standing from the wall, pretending you hadn't uttered that word.

“I said no, you fucking punk”.

“The hell d'you think you're talking to, darling?”

“To the cretin who let other women flirt and touch him”. You replied with evident annoyance. “Why don't you go to show them your daddy's skills, uh? Sure I can find someone who respects me in the meantime”.

Suddenly, a grimace you hadn't seen before on him appeared like a thunderbolt. You weren't sure if you just made him feel more furious or if you just broke his heart. But before you could figure it out, Bucky shorted the distance between both in two fast strides and his hands gripped your throat and the back of your neck respectively, pinning you to the closest wall and tossing the lamp on your nightstand to the floor. You complained slightly —with his tongue wildly invading your mouth— because of the strength he used to put you against the wall.

You tried to push him away, to not fall into his charmings, but he made your mind blank when his fingers were firmly nailed in your ass and his body was accommodated between your legs. Your fiery provoked a bulge under his pants so painful that in every rock against your core he wasn't sure if it hurt or if it was some kind of pleasure he couldn't handle. Out of breath, Bucky attacked your neck, digging his teeth in your neck with so much passion that you screamed delighted his full name while pulling his hair. That gesture drove him insane, losing the less sanity he had at that point. With just a push, your boyfriend ripped off your shirt to strip you, in anticipation of your panties suffering the same fate.

Bucky threw you to the mattress on your abdomen, perfectly positioned to what was about to happen. He was so eager, so desperate for showing you what he was feeling that he didn't lose time taking off his clothes, just undoing his belt and unzipping his jeans to pull them down to his ankles along his boxers. You heard him spitting in his hand to use it as lube, although you were sufficiently soaked and ready for your Buck that neither of you needed his saliva. He rammed his dolorous erection into your cunt, crashing his pelvis and pressing it against your ass with all his strength, causing you to drown a loud cry in the sheets.

Tangling his fingers with yours and lacing your arms around your neck, putting all his weight onto your back, Bucky pounded you with an insanely quick rhythm, not giving you any chance to mold your throbbing walls around his length. Your pleased vocals echoed inside your room in total sync with the hits to your g-spot. Your body received with every one of them soft cramps mixed with pain and pleasure, making you roll your eyes and tear your throat.

“'S that wh— what you wanted, uh?” Bucky snarled against the back of your neck, totally gone, not giving you a break or showing any mercy.

“Fuck, no…” You replied, challenging him.

He swallowed a rough moan, wrapping his cold fingers around your throat while using the other to pull back your hair and arch your body. “Don' fucking… lie to me, doll… You wan— wanted your daddy to make you… feel desired over tho— those women”.

And yes, he was right. More or less. But you didn't expect him to react like that. Bucky was rabidly fucking you, moving the bed from its position with every angry thrust into your pussy. You knew you weren't going to last for too long if he continued impaling you against the mattress, just like that. But you both had to recognize that it was the best session of sex of your life.

“You were… fucking mad watch— watching 'em touch my arm… your arm, right?”

You whined at the brutality he used to push his hard cock beyond your limits, holding it there as he tilted your head to crash his lips on yours. Bucky devoured them until they were shiny, swollen, slightly ached because of the bit he left on your bottom one.

“If you don't tell me… the truth… I swear I'm not gonna let you come”. The whisper fell into your ear with such a raspy tone of voice, conscious of him being very capable.

“It was… your fucking fault, James. Not… Not mine”. You grunted, feeling him going a little deeper. “I di— didn't let anybody flirt with me… as if you didn't exist”.

That was the truth, but the wrong answer for him. Suddenly, Bucky pulled out his dick covered in your arousal, freeing you from any grip. A pause that only lasted the time he took to grab the handcuffs from your nightstand to place them in your wrists and secure them around the headboard. Now you were under his total control, defying him by strongly closing your legs and frowning at him, panting and sweating.

“Lemme tell you something”. Your boyfriend said, dangerously crawling over the bed till reaching your knees and forcing them to be separated, wide spread for him. “If you think I was flirting, but you didn't see… how uncomfortable I was… This situation is not my fault”.

The tables were turned as he finished his sentence, settling himself between your legs yet kneeling to raise your ass above his lap. “Not so mouthy now, are you, doll?”

You wanted to speak back, to say something after having a second to reconsider the reason why you were so angrier at him when Bucky pushed you down and rammed his dick back to the place it belonged. You forced unconsciously your hands gripped, wanting to put them on him —wherever—. As soon as he handcuffed you, your desire for touching him used to be suffocating. But you were the one who played from the start, instead of telling him how you were feeling about that situation at Shuri's party.

Bucky didn't even let you kiss him, stabilizing you on top with an arm around your waist and his cold hand holding the back of your head. His hips rocked straight to your g-spot once and once, making you lose any kind of control over your body as your boyfriend didn't have any compassion, needing to find relief to his sorrowful erection by cumming inside your clenching walls. You were driving him crazy, maintaining your eye contact at all moments and almost drinking your delighted, obscene crying, aware that only him could cause you to be so dirty.

“Feels good, uh…? You like it?” Your boyfriend brushed your lips with his, depriving you of his kisses or any other touch. “Bec— 'cause you take your daddy... so damn good, baby girl… So tight… so tight you could kill me”.

“Yes, da— daddy”. You whimpered nodding your head. “Only you… can fuck me li— like that… Only you”.

“That's it… that's it, oh, fuck… fuck, doll”.

You saw him roll that pair of beautiful blue eyes to the back of his head, feeling Bucky's thighs tensing under your legs. You didn't want anything else than making him cum, after overthinking about how he felt, and not about what you witnessed. He was right, more or less. He was still being so innocent in those kinds of situations that he used to feel like a scared kid.

You suddenly fell back to reality when the emptiness sensation invaded you. Bucky pulled out his length from you again, causing you to beg in silence for not denying you the orgasm you were about to reach. But he warned you. Bucky asked you to tell him the truth and you chose to challenge him. Letting you sit on the mattress, he flexed a leg to guide his twitching cock to your mouth, not needing to tell you what he wanted you to do. You just parted your lips, receiving him without protesting, curling your fingers when he forced your limits, and positioned both hands on your head. Twirling your tongue around his base as you could, with your cavity completely invaded, Bucky provoked you a strong gag. A gesture that led to his warm seed being spilled down your throat.

“Fuck my life, baby girl!” He couldn't help but howl driven by the pleasure as you coughed and made vibrate his sensitive skin.

Just holding his dick trapped by your lips for a second, he freed your mouth, taking his time to admire you swallowing his cum and showing afterward your tongue. God, you looked so beautiful disheveled, with teary eyes and swollen lips because of the effort.

“Want me to tell you something else?” Bucky asked while cleaning the sweat in his forehead with the back of his arm, taking the small key to liberating you with his free hand.

You didn't reply, not needing to, as he rubbed your wrists to comfort your skin before lying by your side.

“Com'ere”. He whispered, yet trying to recover your breathings. Bucky wrapped you with his flesh arm, rubbing his iron fingers up and down your tense belly, creating a contrast that caused you goosebumps. “'M so sorry for making you feel like that”.

He kissed you. Slowly, passionate, tasting his own juices mixed with your saliva. Caressing your tongue with the tip of his, and no rush. You felt his digits touring down your skin, till finding your throbbing and needed clit. You weren't able to hold back a sweet moan when he circled his fingertip over your sensible pearl, gladly drinking your vocals.

“When I wanted to react… she was putting that damn spoon into my mouth. It felt horrible, doll, I promise”. He murmured, venturing his long cold finger to part your folds and sink it inside you —moaning at the fulfill sensation—. “You always save me from those awkward situations… but you were having fun with Shuri and I didn't want to interrupt you”.

You were feeling like shit, looking at him through your eyelids as he curved a second finger into your cunt and increased the pace of the pounds with his hand made of vibranium. Bucky spread some gentle kisses all around your face, ending with a tender bite to your lips.

“When you told me you wanted to go home, I felt a huge relief… 'Cause that was everything I wanted. Go home with you. Maybe watch a movie… cuddle… fall asleep on the sofa”.

“Oh, God, Bucky”. You wept onto his mouth, as soon as a third finger filled you, nailing his hand in the perfect position to be moved up and down. “I'm so— sorry, Buck… I'm sorry”.

“Fuck, no”. He let out, thrusting you harder, faster, creating a melody of filthy sloppy sounds while your moans were louder and louder. “I should stop 'em, I didn't… I didn't. But I respect you more than anything, doll… I love you with all my heart. I care 'bout you, 'bout your feelings… Can you forgive me? Can you… Can you cum for me?”

You nodded your head running out of words, seeing your boyfriend snaking his body down the bed to between your shaky legs, yet having his fingers knuckles deep inside you. “Keep 'em open for your man”.

The blow to your abused cunt provoked you a lash up to your backbone, landing your hands on his head as Bucky sank his face straight to your center. His digits fucked you savagely, while his tongue took control of your swollen pearl —sucking, licking, kissing, pulling it back—. He wasn't going to deny that pleasure to you, quite the opposite. You pressed unconsciously his face a little closer to your pussy, swinging your hips and riding his mouth when his caresses and his pushes became too much for you.

Bucky made you cum harder than ever, crying his name till you didn't have any strength and you were just a sack of bones under his expert mouth, devouring you and drinking your juices as if it was the elixir of life. And when he was satiated, you glanced at him using the tip of his tongue to trail a path up crossing your abdomen, the gap between your breasts, your throat, until kissing you again getting comfortable on top of you. It was a kiss full of love, and guiltiness, and necessity, and pure devotion for you.

“Did I hurt you with what I said?” You murmured, still enraptured by the fireworks fluttering within your belly.

“This isn't 'bout me”. Bucky clicked his tongue, hiding his face into your sweaty neck. “This is 'bout what I let happen”.

“That doesn't answer my question, Buck… I'm sorry about what I said. I was just… I feel insecure". You confessed stroking his scalp and back with your hands, lacing your legs together. “I didn't mean it. I would never try to… find someone who respects me more than you do. That's impossible. And not talking about how much you love me”.

“I love you with every inch of myself”. He swore, he promised, raising his face to look straight at your eyes. “I can't imagine a life without you”.

“Me either… Your love makes me feel alive”.

Bucky left one last tender kiss on your lips before suddenly standing up and holding you onto his arms to carry you to the bathroom and take a shower together —wash your hair, worship your body again as if it was the last thing he was going to do—.

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[shewhotellsstories]

Thank you for your detailed answer to my ask, I would like to comment on it again

Hiding? Oh, are you appearing much more publicly? I just want to protect my account from potential Su haters. I actually found your postings under the #anti suyin beifong, I specifically searched for this, because I am at least interested in other opinions

1. Shortly before the fight with Lin, Su said that she had already tried to reconcile with her sister several times and that when Su and Toph had made up, they asked Lin to join them, so that the three could be a family again, but Lin didn't want to. That is what I was referring to, of course Su made a few sassy comments, but only because she was hurt by how much Lin hated her. I also think that her apology at the end of the episode was sufficient, it was honest and sincere, and it was apparently enough for Lin too

2. How can Su be careless, when she was so happy to have Lin in her city? Clearly, she did care. It was also said in the episode that she and Varrick are friends, as was Bolin and Zhu Li at the time, who even helped him break out. Korra would have followed Aiwei one way or another, Su just made it easier and even honestly took the blame for it, when Lin asked, that is pretty mature if you ask me

3. Are you an only child? You don't want to know how many times I've been hurt by my siblings, I also have scars from them up to this day. They are just scars! No reason to make a fuss that will last 30 years. In addition, Su probably robbed a little shop, it would probably have been enough, if Su had returned the stuff, it wasn't necessary to hold her with force. Lin probably should have seen this coming, if she knew her sister that well, or she should have used her metal bending to dodge

4. Oh, I'm sorry I didn't study your entire blog, but nice to know we roughly agree on that

5. As I said, they are only scars. She didn't kill or seriously injure anyone, jeez it wasn't even on purpose. Blood is thicker than water and anyone, who cut ties, because of something like that, has probably never really loved their family in the first place. It wasn't Lin's job to pretend to be her mother, it would piss me off in Su's place too, because nobody likes it, when older siblings act like your parents

6. Yup, she shouldn't have done that. Su is under no obligation to tell neither Korra nor Opal about it, maybe she thought it wasn't her place to tell, but Lin's. Besides, if Lin hadn't been so stubborn and aggressive with her family, she wouldn't have had to apologize to Opal either

7. Putting your little sister in a car accident and arrest her afterwards, do you call protecting? I'm not saying Lin doesn't protect others, it comes with the job, but she doesn't do it for purely selfless reasons. For example, when she destroyed the airships, she didn't do it for Tenzin, but because that is her job and I suspect it was some kind of suicide attempt, like a kamikaze. Jokes on her, Tenzin and his family got captured anyway, so it was just plain pointless. Besides, no one betrayed her, she just didn't want to have anything to do with anyone, because she prefers to be lonely. Also, sometimes it is good to just get over things, because Lin was much happier after forgiving Su. She needed that too

Yeah, yeah, I know Lin has a lot of fans. But many of them are so deluded that they don't even want to see that Lin made quite a few mistakes. I also see that Su gets a lot of criticism, but she is actually a pretty well-written character, who has strengths and weaknesses, who made mistakes, who did good. Su is human and represents someone, who had a difficult childhood, made mistakes in the past, and developed into an independent, strong, charismatic woman. You can like whoever you want, but is it necessary to hate other characters?

Please put yourself in Su's shoes for once and tell me, if you still think that she is a bad, irresponsible and horrible person

Dude. What (and I cannot stress this enough) the fuck? I wasn't the one going into people's inboxes and throwing around words like pathetic for disliking a character. When I disagree about something I say it with my whole chest. I don’t name-call and hide behind a grey face and glasses. People can for better or worse tag me and respond.

And here’s a simple etiquette lesson: you don’t get to come out of the gate with “you’re hatred of [insert character’s name here] is pathetic” and expect politeness from me. 

This is some next level white-washing and apologism and I used to watch Once Upon a Time, so that’s saying something.

There is so much happening here, so I’m just gonna go in order:

1) I’d remind you that it looked like Lin had tried to tell Suyin to quit ditching school, tried to tell her not to waste her potential, and not to hang around with gang members. She got her face mutilated for her trouble. If that’s not motivation to wash your hands of someone I don’t know what is. Furthermore no one is owed reconciliation or forgiveness. Toph and Suyin weren’t entitled to Lin’s time or forgiveness after how horribly they treated her. And c’mon you say “I’m sorry I gave you a hard time,” when you borrow sweaters without asking and dent their car, not scar their face. She undermined Lin, downplayed her hurtful behavior, and threw her break-up in her face. Suyin just found being estranged inconvenient.

2)She’s careless because she does irresponsible things that hurt people and then acts like it’s no big deal when there are consequences. Suyin is the sort of person who will talk a big game about wanting to be a family, about wanting her sister back but without any of the work involved in making amends and reconciling. Instead of understanding that Lin had a right to be angry because she hurt her, she got mad that Lin wasn’t forgiving her on the timetable she set and insulted her.

And are you kidding me?? She sent the Avatar out into the city when she knew dangerous people wanted to kill her. Yes, Korra is impulsive that doesn’t mean people who should be older and wiser should encourage a suicide mission. And “took the blame” when she told Lin she acted like it was no big deal. Which is on brand, but still obnoxious.

3)To be perfectly honest it’s none of your business but yes, I do have siblings. I am also an adult with a good grasp on boundaries and I know tha blood isn’t a suicide pact. I know that in a perfect world all families would be loving and supportive, the reality is that sometimes families can be toxic and abusive. No one is obligated to put up with physical or emotional abuse just because the person dishing it out is a family member. It’s not fun or easy but cutting ties is the only course of option sometimes.

3 a) That’s super fucked up. Yeah kids play rough sometimes but at a certain age that becomes unacceptable. And in the case of Lin and Suyin we’re not talking about a pillow fight or wrestling match that went sideways. SHE. SCARRED. HER.

3 b) Holy white-washing and apologism batman. Do I truly need to spell out for you why probably terrifying and risking ruining a small business by robbing them is wrong? There’s nothing noble happening there. Suyin wasn’t getting what she needed from her mother but she’s not like Mako and Bolin. She wasn’t some starving homeless kid with no choice, she was a rich kid seeking a thrill and attention. She sauntered away because she expected Lin to let her get away with it. It was literally Lin’s job to stop robberies and she felt that not ignoring Suyin’s behavior would force her to clean up her act.

(credit: wormhole-judgement-line)

4)Not my fault if you don’t do your research anon.

5) If those are just scars then hell is just a sauna. I’m sad it needs to be said but scars aren’t always just scars. We’re not talking about a scraped knee, we’re talking about being left with a physical reminder of how someone you loved hurt you. Now, who could possibly relate to Lin? A certain Fire Prince. The power dynamics between siblings and a parent and child are different but would Zuko at any point have said that what Ozai did to him was just a scar???

6) Oh please, she was covering her own ass. If Suyin hadn’t thrown a pity party to gain the krew’s sympathy and been honest none of that would’ve happened. You can’t put it all on Lin who at least had the decency to sincerely apologize to Opal.

7) Wow. Reading this has been like a very strange, victim blamey fever dream. So Lin is still selfish for risking her life, comfort, and at one point her bending to keep people safe? Perhaps we Lin fans don’t have the market cornered on being deluded. We can talk about Lin’s self sacrificing nature possibly being rooted in feeling expendable, but what you said is just a bad take. And ‘happier” sure, who wouldn’t be happy after accepting a half-assed apology after spending days being bullied about totally valid feelings. It’s practically a Disney movie.

Personally, I think Lin would've been a heck of a lot happier if she'd realized that she didn't owe people who treated her with disrespect and disregarded her feelings her help.

Suyin acted out because Toph failed to parent her. Lin as the oldest felt the need to try and pick up the slack but it wasn’t her attention Suyin wanted. We can talk about if Toph being a bad mother is in character or an extension of Bryke’s weird extremes with their portrayal of motherhood. But Suyin growing up under supervised doesn’t excuse her behavior. Considering Toph’s hands off approach it’s not shocking that even as an adult Suyin fails to grasp that actions have consequences but yeah, even as an adult at her core Suyin is careless and no one ever takes her to task for this. So:

Blood isn’t thick enough to resign oneself to a lifetime of being used as a punching bag. Blood doesn’t make someone’s presence in your life healthy or safe. Blood is just a start, if your family is toxic and cruel you don’t need to deal with them.

“you’re allowed to hold your family at arm’s length. family can be toxic. family can be abusive. family can belittle you, invalidate you, or make you feel unsafe. you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone who disagrees. —do what you have to do.”

-Amanda Lovelace, Break Your Glass Slippers.

[spirit-animal-sisters-official]

Well, if it's not hate, it sure seems like a ton of animosity is directed at him and the comic, something I just don't understand. So, he, for the sake of argument, doesn't write the characters or write the stories the way you and others want him to. I can see how that could be frustrating, but at the same time this sounds miserable and not particularly very fun.

Some critics here on tumblr come across as very vitriolic, obnoxious, and unhinged. Check out this exchange for example: https://kellodrawsalot.tumblr.com/post/688674541689536512/you-know-as-much-as-i-really-dislike-sonics

The OP even stated they didn't like Sonic's characterization, but that wasn't enough for them because OP dared criticize their behavior. I remember when I was aggressively attacked by a very prominent anti-IDW tumblr user simply for expressing how I didn't think Tails cowering in Sonic Forces was really all that bad, being completely understandable given the context. And before you bring up the actions of bad IDW fans, I don't condone those either.

Frankly, I don't see how saying it's just entertainment and if one doesn't like it, they should stop engaging with it makes me a "clown". By the way, completely uncalled for and not putting yourself in a good light. It's a perfectly valid argument, especially with how obsessed some on here act about it, instigating and perpetuating toxic drama. Moreover, some folks seem to make complaining about the comics and Flynn their entire personalities and circlejerk about it near-constantly.

As for "stanning" Ian Flynn, I have no doubt some do that, but those people aren't worth engaging with. The vast majority of fans I've ever interacted with admit the man isn't perfect by any means and is not above criticism.

Here's a post from the TrekBBS forums that I feel fits the situation:

"I agree with you. Sometimes they just don't know when to quit. It gets old. I was going through a rough patch in life at the time DSC premiered, I was glad to have Trek back, and I thought it was the best Trek in a long time. For me, it was something to take my mind off the Hell my life had become at the time...

... and some people here don't realize the other point of view. What's trash to them is treasure to someone else. Or they don't care. I think criticism is one thing. But to deliberately go out of your way to rain on someone's parade on purpose is something else. Especially once you know you're pissing people off and do it anyway. I never did that in the VOY or ENT Forums when those shows were going. My belief was, and still is: "Let the people enjoy their shows."

I think there's a distinction between coming on to talk about a show and coming on to just bully people. I think there's a distinction between offering constructive criticism and offering nothing but hatred and bile. And if someone is still hating a show five years after it premiered, that's five years of dedication to hatred. That's not normal. That's not healthy. I wish they'd stop turning DSC into a punching bag and face whatever it is that's making them use it as one."

One more from the TrekBBS forum:

"There's actually so much great TV these days. I find it better to spend time watching shows I like rather than stomping around online shitting on stuff. Latest example for me is the Halo show. I watched 2 episodes, had enough of that and done. Others are enjoying it and good for them. I watched Yellowjackets instead and loved it.

I really do need to give Discovery Season 4 another shot. I watched the first 2 or 3 and then just didn't feel compelled to go back, but it might have been due to my mood at the time as opposed to the quality of it.

To me, TV is not something sufficiently important to be angry about. It's all just entertainment."

@randomthefox you wanna take this? This is a lot to unpack.

[wrongeddeadthenevermourned]

Kai made a face, not sure the logic was sound there. But, who was he to question any of that "Aannnd… they don't have any emotions of there own?" He could have sworn this was a movie plot, somewhere. Maybe. Holding his mouth open a bit he clicked his tongue "Well I gotta say, my emotion is '1000% done' and anger." Seeing as he was always getting screwed over by his own family, and subjected to a lifetime of abuse.

Kai grinned "Well I wouldn't say I was born this way. But, I'm fine with being this way. It's karma." Not that he believed in such a thing. But he was the consequences of his family's actions. So why couldn't he hate them for what they done. Oh how he so wanted to hate them. Much of the time anyway. But deep down, he mostly wanted them to recognize him. That he wasn't a fuck up, just because he was a siphon. They had just never cared to listen, so he had to show them.

But they wouldn't let him! That really pissed him off! Kai blinks as she questioned him "Yeah, my sanity- You must know my father." He laughed a bit "He's been saying that since the day I was born, practically. " Half rolling his eyes he turned his head to one side "Been saying a lot of things like that actually. I'm surprised I'm not the reincarnated form of the devil himself, to the man." Though he might as well be, especially with his name.

Crouched near the ground, he continued soaking up the magic, infinite and powerful. The fix that he had most days of his life actually seeming to be fed sufficiently "Hm?" Looking toward Alice, Kai raised an eyebrow "Feeding..." Closing his eyes he smirks, he could definitely escape prison world with this, he just needed a few more things, however.

@ofwondersandhares

"--- Darius told me that the reason they call us oysters is because of the little pearls of emotion we carry inside of us. That is what they do here, there are certain people here with the ability to drain the emotions and bottle them. The effects are... all consuming, or so I've been told. I quite like my usual "I don't give a shit' about anything' emotion. Seems' like you might be familiar with that emotion yourself."

It begged the question as to why she was even still talking to this guy. When he had started giggling like a mad man, her brow had arched as she crossed her arms. "Lost what? Your sanity? Maybe you do belong here after all."

For just a moment, Alice had felt a tinge of sympathy for the stranger. At least she had a home to get back to, she had even tried to get Darius to come with her once but unfortunately that story didn't quite have a happy ending. That sympathy, however, had been quickly cut short as she watched him use some kind of power to absorb some of the magic from the realm. "What the fuck are you doing? ---"

Clearly her little plan of going to pay a surprise visit to Darius was going to have to wait.

[kozu-chan]

synopsis: keeping up with a society that expects you to be perfect is exhausting in every way possible. you're lucky enough to have found someone who relates to navigate this brutal world with.

content warnings: fem! reader, cursing, insults, bullying if you squint, mentions of insecurity, a bit of fighting, mentions of mental health, and sakusa might be ooc but that's just to make the arguments a little more dramatic.

sour masterlist

growing up, you were a perfectionist. although this wasn't necessarily your fault, was it? at the young age of four, your parents discovered that you were, and maybe still are, gifted with talent for music. this led to years of guitar, piano, violin, flute, singing, and even harp lessons. throughout the years, you went through many concerts and hours upon hours of practicing your various instruments. this led you to attend the infamous itachiyama academy in high school and that was only the beginning of your troubles.

as a perfectionist, you dedicate yourself not only to your music, but to your studies as well. sadly, even you can't manage to balance school, music, sleep, and a social life and one of those things have to give due to your busy schedule, so you sacrifice your social life. sometimes you think that this was the wrong move because that just makes high school practically a living hell for you. that is, until about a week ago.

last week, you had a regular morning. you walk through the halls of your school and people do their best to avoid you, to not get in your way. however, that doesn't stop them from gossiping about you. "wow look at l/n. little miss perfect." "i dare you to talk to her!" "she's such an ice cold perfectionist." "i could never be friends with her. she's too serious." "does this bitch even have a life?" you ignore the comments as you make your way to your first class. sometimes you just want to yell at them to stop talking about you. to tell them how much it hurts you and how being such a perfectionist is exhausting. to let them know that their comments only add to how lowly you think of yourself. that you wish that you had even one friend because you feel so alone.

after school, you spend hours in the music room practicing a song you were thinking of performing, something self-written as a way of releasing your emotions. and once you think your practice is sufficient, you curl up against the wall and cry.

once your crying session is done, you get up and walk back to your dorm. on the way back, you see someone in the gym do an insane serve that slams down that just barely makes it in. you hear a groan of frustration followed by the oh so familiar sound of breath getting shaky due to crying. your gaze follows the sound to see the figure on the floor crying and your breath gets caught in your throat when you realize it's not just any player, but one of the top three aces in japan, sakusa kiyoomi.

"sakusa-san?" sakusa looks at you with what looks like a bit of fear but anger replaces his expression before you could confirm your suspicions. "what the fuck are you doing here? this is a private practice." his tone is cold, firm, and piercing. you could feel a chill run down your spine, but you ignore the feeling because other people, especially your parents, have been on the receiving end on your own tone that sounds just as menacing. the only indicator of crying being the red, slightly watery eyes that you can't help but sympathize with. "what are you staring at?" you snap out of your thoughts to respond to him. "i saw you on my way back to my room. i just happened to see you crying and i-"

sakusa sighs again in frustration. "and you what? just shut up and leave me alone!" "i just know what it's like, okay? you really think that you're the only one who's tired of not feeling good enough? the only one who's cried because you just want to get better but you don't see any improvement no matter how much you practice?" your voice is loud and yet on the verge of tears. you glace at sakusa, who now looks angrier but you don't care. "so sue me if i come off as a ice cold bitch who doesn't talk to anyone because i do anything and everything i can to be perfect even if i always fall short and sue me for sympathizing with you."

the room grows quiet, save for the sounds of your shaky breathing as you try your best to calm down before you actually start breaking down in front of him. it takes another few seconds before sakusa stands up and walks up to you. "l/n, right? yeah well you don't know me and you should just get out of my sight. you shouldn't be trying to get someone to stop crying if you're just going to cry yourself. just relax more." relax more? "that's rich coming from you." you're no longer crying and sakusa stops in his tracks.

"you're telling me to relax more when you don't seem to have any chill... ever. and let's not forget that your crying was what brought into the gym in the first place." you take a deep breath to calm yourself. "so... the gym is like your safe space, right?" sakusa doesn't answer, clearly exasperated and silently begging you to leave. "c'mon, sakusa-san! you can tell me!" you smile a little when he opens his mouth to talk, only to be disappointed by his response. "god, you're such an annoying bitch. go find someone else to bother!" you're disappointed but you're also persistent. after all, you are the one that figures out and teaches all the schoolwork you struggle with to yourself. "if it makes you feel better..." you sigh quietly and contemplate whether or not it was a good idea to expose yourself this much to someone you just started talking to. "if it makes you feel better, my room and the music rooms are my safe spaces." "it really doesn't. if anything, it just makes me feel even more pathetic!" a small smirk graces your features as you realize that you got him. "so this is your safe space? i didn't hear a denial!" sakusa rolls his eyes. "would you shut up already" "not until you admit it." he glares at you and you just look him dead in the eye, causing him to break (probably so you would shut up as he thinks you'll do if he admits it). "fine... the gym is my safe space... that you're encroaching on." you back away slightly because he was right. and you know that you would also be pissed as fuck if someone encroached on your safe space, especially while you were crying. "i'm sorry, i just wanted to help. but, maybe we could be each other's safe spaces?"

you mentally sigh in relief as sakusa looks just the slightest bit more comfortable upon hearing that. "i mean, you know what it's like so... i guess i wouldn't be opposed to that." the two of you give each other a small smile as you sit down a good length away from him. "god, it's brutal out here, huh?" sakusa lets out a small laugh and agrees.

"sakusa, are you really gonna go pro like they say you are?" sakusa looks at you for a second and nods. you even notice his eyes lighting up a little. "yeah, that's what i want. it's what i've wanted for as long as i could remember. i wouldn't work so hard for it and get so dirty if it wasn't my dream... what about you? are you going to become a musician?" now it's your turn to pause. you freeze up. it's been so long since someone's asked you what you wanted. "i... honestly? i don't know what i want anymore. it's been so long since i've been asked what i wanted. it's been so long since someone's seen me outside of the "little miss perfect" that everyone else sees... i don't know." you take a moment to recollect your thoughts. "i just hate the thought of disappointing people that i think i've lost myself in the process. i've been pursuing music for so long that it's familiar, it's instinct, and i can't see myself doing anything else because i haven't done anything else..." your voice gets quieter as you speak. this is the first time you've ever gotten a chance to voice out your thoughts to someone and your own revelations shock you.

"yeah, i think i'm getting there too. losing myself to satisfy everyone while trying to stay true to myself. after all, who am i if not exploited?" it takes a minute to digest the words that were so simple and yet so powerful, the six words that could be used to summarize your entire life. "it sucks, doesn't it? like all i did was try my best, and this is the kind of thanks i get? annoyance and isolation? awards and acknowledges of achievement but at what cost? my social life? my mental health? ... my identity?" sakusa looks like he's going to say something but you shoot him a look and his mouth closes to let you continue. "it's literally so fucking stupid! there's literally no actual reward for me anymore, nothing satisfying. it's all worthless - meaningless, even. sometimes i wish i could disappear..."

a small breath is sucked up and you turn to sakusa. "sorry that was heavy. i've just never had someone to talk to about this. at least not properly."

"i get it. i haven't really had a lot of people to talk to either. at least not that honestly. i'm glad we have each other now, because you were right. it is brutal out here and it's good that we can stick together now."

after that, no one really bothered you anymore and it was all thanks to your new friend and confidant.

a/n: sheesh this is one of the longest things i've written. i really hope you like it and i'm really sorry that i suck at endings!!

[raynebowrayne]

A rant about Rey.

I'm so sick of the entire Mary Sue debate. It's ridiculous! And this bullshit right here is the straw that broke the camel's back!

Here was my response to that dudebro-

Aside from pissing me off, this interaction also got me thinking...

What I told him about her life was absolutely true and it only takes 1/2 a working brain cell to realize that... Rey grew up in hell.

Niima outpost is a bona fide shit hole. It's the kind of place where the most famous ship in the galaxy can be hidden in plain sight... for years! The kind of place where people sell children. Where people ignore a teenage girl being attack in the middle of the city market... or worse, find it entertaining.

Rey is rather plain looking and shapeless when we meet her... and that was not by accident. Daisy is a beautiful young woman who can turn heads walking down any street in the world... but the difference of appearance between her and Rey are as marked as those between a peacock and a peahen.

The heartbreaking truth is, this is as much a defense tactic as it is a statement of Rey's poverty. She's 19... even if she was a late bloomer she's spent, at least, the last few years having to worry about being seen as a desirable woman... because if someone stronger, more clever, or sufficiently devious enough took an interest in her she could and likely would have been sexually assaulted, raped and/or murdered... the chances of her having never been AT LEAST sexually assaulted are very slim...

She fights every fight like her life depends on it. Even when it's a simple robbery... of something worth zero money to her... did you notice how fast she went from "stop that" to complete savage beast mode on the thugs Unkar sent? It was instantaneous the moment that thug grabbed her. That's panic fighting, pure survival instinct. She's been grabbed before... and it's apparently left her with the effects of lingering trauma.

Did you see how she didn't hesitate to attack, with intent to kill, Kylo the first three times that met? She's had to fight for her life before. Enough to have conquered the panic to the point she can fight effectively. That means she's done it A LOT.

Rey is no sweet cinnamon roll, nor some overpowered bimbo... she's a survivor living in one of the foulest pits of hell that the GFFA has to offer.

Sure, she's a decent person... but make no mistake, she is absolutely willing to cut a bitch. She is a stone cold killer. We don"t know her body count, but anyone with eyes can see that she didn't hesitate and she didn't bat an eyelash at killing that first stormtrooper in the forest before Kylo found her. She'd have done the same to him if not for the fact that he was a Jedi.

Which brings me to the point where they actually do meet...

When he took off that helmet and introduced his real PERSON to her you can't help but wonder why the fuck the big bad guy would do such a thing.

But, if you watch the scene that follows you can see him become more and more fascinated by her with every passing second.

I didn't watch him when I saw this movie at the theater, I watched her. She was emoting beautifuly... terror, panic, revulsion... I can see why someone could see this scene as akin to rape... they'd be wrong, but I CAN see how they've come up with that.

Guess who else wasn't looking at him during this scene? Rey wasn't either.

You know when else she wasn't looking at that incredibly expressive face of his?

When he first got a load of her.

The novel states and it's actually pretty easy to see if you look for it, that Kylo Ren was surprised by and impressed with her from the moment she opened fire on him in the forest.

Yup. He was a goner from the word go. He didn't take her because it would be just as easy to get the map from her as it would be to get it from the droid... frankly the data chip would have been infinitely more useful than a 30 second, unfocused memory... no he took her because he felt incredibly drawn to her. He took her because she intrigued him. He could feel there was something different and special about her. He was so distracted by her and elated to have gotten her under his control that he didn't give even a fraction of a shit about finding the droid or Luke anymore... he actively didn't want the droid anymore because that would have robbed him of his excuse to keep her around and investigate her mind... the perfect cover for his sudden, urgent, NEED to learn everything about her and figure out why he felt so "inexorably drawn" to her.

Watch his face after she says the bit about Vader... he's scared shitless... but he's not afraid for his life... he's scared because he didn't find out why he was drawn to her, and now it was a way more powerful draw... and it felt incredible... like nothing he's ever felt or seen or heard or read about...

That my friends, with a shiver down his spine to mark the occasion, was the moment he realized that she was his ONLY equal in the entire galaxy... and he wanted her. Like a trophy, yes, on the surface, where he could acknowledge and accept it - but also on a deeper level... on the level of a unique being who had found the only other of it's type in existence... on the level where Adam wanted Eve.

Rey missed 100% of that... just like a lot of the fandom... just like I did upon first viewing.

In fact she missed every bit of him falling in love with her... allllllllll the way up to this moment

Yep... even says so in the book... she had no inkling that he had actual, real, deep feelings for her.

Not even when this happened-

She was clueless.

And guess what else she didn't know? She didn't know he was physically attracted to her until this moment-

It never occurred to her that he might want ALL OF HER... because she only found out 10 minutes ago (a LONG ten minutes!) that he felt ANYTHING towards her besides a desire to shape and control her Force training and abilities.

It was a lot to take in all at once... especially considering that she was still so terrified of him that she tried to kill him 18 hrs ago!

She had hoped she could convince him to go home to his mother and his family... to return to the light... to fight the good fight... she never even suspected that he had fallen in love with HER... the lonely, scrappy, unwanted, abandoned, flawed, unlovable dessert rat... not her powers.

I think she misjudged him terribly from start to finish.

She has no idea when she closes that door in his face that his feelings were hurt but not changed... that they were real and not some fucked up manipulation tactic.

That naked vulnerability is why they chose Adam Driver... Kylo's feelings for Rey are alive and well... that's why the last time we see him he is bowing under the weight of massive amounts of grief.

[redspecialstardust]

Scandal - Oneshot (Freddie Mercury X Fem!Reader)

Requested by: @capan-devereaux

One month after the incident at the Rainbow Theater, you and now Freddie fall victim to bad press; there's gotta be a way to put these rumors to rest...

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: language, rumours, unwanted touching, attempted sexual assault (it doesn't go anywhere)

A/N: This fic is a sequel to Always Look After You; read it here. Can be read as OG Freddie or the BoRap version.

Freddie woke to himself facedown in the sheets of his king sized bed; the scent of the fresh bedding filled his nostrils, giving him sort of a gentle waking as he snuggled down into the mattress some more and forced his heavy eyes open to check the bedside clock which read 7:30 am. The time made him groan...for a party animal like himself, it was way too early for him to get up. The bed was warm, and so were the sunrise's rays on his back. You must have opened the curtains before he woke. but tired or not, he didn't want to sleep all day, knowing you two would barely get any alone time.

Choosing that there was no point sleeping in when he didn't have you next to him, the tired singer dragged his ass out of bed and threw on one of his many silk kimono robes. He let you know he was up by letting out a loud yawn on his way down the stairs. Just as he thought, you were sitting at the dining table with a newspaper one hand and a croissant in the other. Upon hearing your boyfriend's unsubtle yawn, you grabbed the coffee pot next to you and poured him a cup, preparing it just the way he liked it. Freddie entered the room still dazed from sleep but woke a bit more upon seeing you. Just like him, you were wearing a robe and had some pretty good bedhead going. The table had a couple of food trays with some eggs, croissants and fruit on them. He crossed the room and kissed the top of your head before sitting next to you.

"Good morning, Darling."

"Morning, Fred. How'd you sleep?"

"Like a drunken barfly, how about you?" He asked, placing some fruit on his plate.

"Eh. Same old same old." You responded. That could only mean that it wasn't very restful. Freddie always worried when you said that. This past month had been tough for you both, and the reason why was plastered all over the front page of the paper. Today's headline read: "Mercury & (L/N): Canoodling Cahoots?" Once again, the media was all over the Rainbow Theater incident and had been ever since that conference where your stalker had appeared at and made an enormous scene. To make things worse, Freddie was being dragged in on it too.

The same day of the conference, he released a photo of the injuries you received from trying to escape the perv's grip. It was a simple Polaroid taken an hour after the attack and displayed your arm with small, but deep scratches where you'd been grabbed. At first it seemed like you were in the clear, but as usual, people were looking for any way to create more gossip. Now all the papers were saying that you and Freddie staged the photo and he was just trying to cover for you since he was your boyfriend.

Oh yeah, and somehow news got out you two were dating. The stress seemed to be eating at you more than anyone a part of Queen. Over time Freddie noticed you were sleeping less and eating like a bird. Even with you being the first one up, he saw the fatigue on your complexion and ridiculously small amount of food on your plate; if you could even call it that...a croissant and a teacup of coffee? That wouldn't satisfy anybody.

"Dear, would you please put at least a couple of eggs on your plate? You're getting slimmer."

"What's wrong with slimming down?" You asked, not even looking up from the paper.

He was very frustrated lately. Sometimes he ended up saying things that were very insensitive.

"You know full well you don't need to lose weight. And for goodness' sake, why do you keep reading the papers? You know they aren't going to say anything nice. You're starting to look like a creature Edgar Allen Poe created!"

You threw the paper down on the table, frustrated that another fight about the headlines was starting up again. On and off for the past four weeks, you and Freddie were getting into heated arguments over what the hell you were supposed to do about the situation. You suggested moving a way for a bit, but Freddie said that would only be letting the gossip win.

"I know! I'm sorry! I just...I know they're saying bad things, but I can't ignore it. It's too much. Freddie, we were supposed to be happy together, not be harrassed by the paparazzi everytime we look at the TV or pick up the paper." By this point, your head fell into your hands and the small sharp pains of forming tears were hurting your eyes.

Oscar and Romeo were under the table the whole time and came to their mama's rescue upon hearing the sniffles. One purred around your ankle while the other gently pawed at your bare foot. Through the watery view of your eyes, you reached down and picked up Oscar, holding him firmly to your chest. The orange tabby purred in response. Freddie sighed; damn it, he went too far again didn't he? The frontman got up from his seat and stood you up, facing him with his gentle brown eyes locked onto yours.

"Come on." You snuggled into his side as his arm locked around your side and led you to the couch in the sitting room. Before even reaching the luxurious couch in front of the TV, you found him sweeping you up into his arms and carrying your frame bridal style. With the utmost care he placed you down on the sofa and sat down nearby, placing your head in his lap. Still sniffling, you looked up at him, muttering a thank you.

"Darling, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean those things, really I didn't. But I'm getting very worried about you. All the stress of these wrongful allegations are eating away at every level of health."

"I'm sorry too, Freddie." Breaking eye contact with him and staring ahead at the power off television screen across the room.

"For what?" He questioned, truly puzzled but his tone remaining calm.

"I've been so selfish. This whole time, I've done nothing but worry about what everyone's saying about me and I didn't stop to think about how hard this had been for you and the band or their families. I mean, maybe I am a selfish bitch like the papers are saying..."

There was a frightening silence between you for like ten seconds. At first it seemed like he silently agreed with you, but without warning, he quickly sat you up, making you gasp a bit and then pulled you onto his lap in a sitting position. The movement had been so swift, you were looking into his eyes for 3 seconds before it clicked what happened.

"Look at me." He firmly commanded. "Are you even hearing yourself? You're letting them get to you. This was not your fault. It never was. Yes, the reporters are saying awful things about me and the boys too, but we can handle it; plus, we know that what you went through was terrifying and we don't blame you for pondering on it so much. (Y/N), we love you...I love you, and we'll get through this, okay?"

You wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged as tightly as possible without strangling him.

"Thank you Freddie. I love you so much."

He kissed your lips this time and suggested that you both just relax for now and watch TV today. Everyone needed a break during a time like this with the rumors practically suffocating Queen while they were trying to work so it seemed like keeping all the prejudice fans waiting for the next album was sufficient punishment for now. Feeling much better you crawled off of Freddie's lap and cuddled against his side, giving him permission to flick the television on. Channel after channel it seemed like there wasn't anything that good on so he handed you to remote to keep clicking while he checked the TV guide. After only two clicks, you paused on the news, displaying yet another distressing headline:

"(Y/N) (L/N): Malice For Mercury?"

This was the worst one yet. The TV displayed a live report, with a journalist standing right outside Garden Lodge's gate, this time the theories had resorted to desperate measures saying that the only reason you claimed this man put his hands on you was to get attention from Freddie and that you were trying to ruin his career for him cheating on you. Cheating on you? Freddie hadn't left your side since you started dating last month. The news then showed video of Freddie walking home with his arm around some mystery woman that nobody recognized.

"BOLLOCKS!" Freddie hollered while jumping to his feet. Normally he would have kept his cool about something like this, but this so called mystery woman on the screen was his little sister, Kashmira. She came by every weekend to have dinner with Freddie and you; it was a very nice time to look forward to and the fact that they were using his sister's face as some shady floozy pissed both of you off beyond belief. Granted, the press didn't know much about Freddie's family because he liked to keep his family life private, but this was a new low. Sensing Freddie's rage beginning to boil, you turned off the TV and had took him gently by the arms.

"Freddie, sweetheart, you're shaking. I need you to calm down."

He looked ready to explode.

"They--they're attacking my blood now!"

"I know! I know honey." You pulled him in for a hug and rubbed his back. "Just please calm down; I don't want your blood getting up more over this, too." He wrapped his arms around you accepting the comfort you provided. You could feel his heart angrily pounding against his chest where the side of your face was resting.

They were really getting to him too and it broke your heart to see him upset because he had been trying his hardest to be strong for you and in between that it's like he forgot it was completely okay to be upset. No matter what either of you tried, you couldn't get away from the chaos of these made up stories. People swarmed you at the studio, they blindsided the guys at their houses, and just now, there were people hanging outside the gate, waiting to aggravate the victims of these rumors even more. By this point they had forced everyone in Queen to go into hiding, and all for ratings.

All day long, you and Freddie spent your time checking all the doors and windows in paranoia; the constant chatter of reporters and the innumerable amount of flashing cameras was extremely distressing, causing you two to finally head upstairs and stay there for the rest of the day and into the night. Things seemed to settle around midnight, and left you and Freddie lounging on the bed together finally getting some quiet time. Lying on your sides, heads resting in your hands, you found it so much easier to talk about all this crap in the peace of each other's space.

"What are we gonna do, Fred? It won't stop."

"It will darling, trust me. We just need to wait this out and they'll get bored."

"We can't just hide until it's over with, we're not living anymore."

He sighed. You were right, but he just didn't know what to do anymore to make it better.

"I wish I could just say what happened and have them believe us." He said. The sweet gesture made you reach your hand across the space between you and stroke his charcoal black hair. The texture was soft to the touch and very soothing under your fingers. Freddie adored the attention and pulled you into his chest where he held you tighter than a child would hold a stuffed animal and muttered into your hair.

"If only they knew that man's true nature. For goodness' sake, they saw it at the conference."

That's when a light went off over your head. An idea came with just that little statement. An idea on how you were going to get your lives back.

"Freddie, you're a genius."

Two days later, every television in England was broadcasting one of its most interesting stories yet: Freddie Mercury and his girlfriend were willing to invite the alleged attacker to Garden Lodge for afternoon tea in an attempt to patch things over and move on with your lives. The day the announcement was made, you and Freddie had braved going outside for the first time in a while and were being interviewed in the inside of a downtown theater. As usual, many questions were being thrown at the both of you about the situation.

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Will you be friends with this guy afterwards?"

"Who do you think will apologize first?"

The whole time the questions flew, Freddie protectively kept his hand on yours. He wanted you to know it was all going to be okay, and you knew it was too, since your plan was bound to work if this guy was really as sick as he let on that night. Once in a while when responding to questions you two found yourselves glancing at one another to confirm whether your responses or not would be adequate. Freddie said that the change of heart came from the fatigue of feeling the need to hide and that a friendship with the man was uncertain. As for who would apologize first, it took some pride swallowing, but you managed to push out "I will."

Hours later, countless reporters were once again camped outside the mansion and kept every camera rolling for this groundbreaking story. Your pervert arrived on the dot for tea and used the doorbell on the door's exterior. The bell's ringing echoed through the manor and made you shiver at the idea of him being right outside. This same guy who left scratches on your arm was about to walk into yours and Freddie's home.

"Just breathe, Darling; your plan is gonna work."

"It better." You sighed.

Opening the door, you caught sight of his eyes. They seemed friendly enough, but nevertheless had this darkness lurking behind them.

"Derek, hi! Come on in."

"Thanks." He said, still seeming kind.

You and Freddie shook his hand and led him into one of the nicer sunlit rooms that normally wasn't used for tea unless you were having a guest. Compared to the rest of the rooms, it was a moderate, even small size. In the center of the room sat a coffee table decked with all the proper items to have at tea. A delicate white teapot painted in yellow and white with matching cups were placed properly there along with classic tea cakes and finger sandwiches. Either side of the table ends had a small couch pushed closely enough for anyone to reach over and grab what they needed off the table while sitting. Freddie shared one of the couches with you while Derek sat on the other. It only took staring at him again for a moment before you realized your breathing was becoming a bit laboured from your nerves causing a faster pulse; this was happening? This trash was in the house? But, still trying to be a gracious host, you picked up the pot and began to pour a cup for all three of you. Watching the steam rise from the cup made you wanna remove the lid and splash the hot drink into his face, but it wasn't part of the plan, so best keep it under control. After pouring your cup and sitting beside Freddie once again, he thanked you and everyone began to add what they wanted to the cups: sugar, cream, lemon etc. All three finished at the same time and raised their cups in a cheers like fashion.

"To a fresh start." Freddie grinned.

"To a fresh start." You repeated, trying not to sounding nervous. Derek copied and you sipped in unison. For a few very uncomfortable minutes nobody said anything while enjoying the tea and snacks; you all knew nobody wanted him here, and the tension in this Mexican stalemate caused you to move in and say what you had to.

"Derek, um, I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have attacked you like that; it was wrong to do something so awful to a fan of ours."

Ugh. That one hurt your pride.

"Thank you for that." Derek answered.

Freddie scooter close to you, placing his hand gently on your knee.

"I apologize too Derek. I shouldn't have used you as a punching bag. You see, when I thought that you had put your hands on her, it infuriated me and I was just trying to protect her. I'm sure you would have done the same for someone you care about."

"Well I can't blame you for that." Derek responded, smiling, but offered no apology himself. That's okay, you really didn't expect one. He took another sip of the tea and carefully placed it down. Something was definitely turning in his mind and none of it looked good.

"I'll accept your apology on one condtion: I want a quarter of a million dollars. It's the least you could do for compensation." The absolute balls! He knew none of this would be even happening if he didn't put his hands on you and now he wants a reward for getting his ass kicked? No, no way, you didn't care what happened after this, he wasn't getting a cent off either of you, but this could still work with what you had in mind.

You scoffed, jumping to your feet "I don't think so. We're trying to put this all behind us and then you come and pull this crap asking for money after leaving scratches on me and making our lives miserable? No! No you're not getting any money!"

Derek's face returned to that same vindictive grimace he had when he tried to throw himself at you, and it scared you to death. As he stood up too, Freddie instantly moved to protect you by standing as well and moving you behind him. He wasn't about to let someone punk him in his own house, no way! He didn't take bull.

"Fine. Don't gimme the money, I'll just go out and tell the reporters how much I tried to be friends and now the great Freddie Mercury and his slut are tightfisted with the compensation. You think your lives are bad now? Wait till the news gets ahold of this."

Freddie nearly lunged to attack, but you grabbed his shoulder, holding him back.

"Freddie, no! This isn't worth it. Just give him the money."

"But he--"

"Freddie please! I want our lives back."

It took a minute, but after looking between you and Derek, Freddie saw the fear in your eyes and it broke his heart. You shouldn't have to live in fear this way and he barely deserved you as it is. What the hell, money wasn't nearly as valuable as you. With a moment of his pride swallowed, he said he'd have to go all the way upstairs into the bedroom to get the checkbook. As he disappeared from the room, you gave Derek a bad staredown.

"So what's a perv like you gonna do with all that money?"

He shrugged. "Maybe buy you for the night." Rolling your eyes in disgust you let him know that was never gonna happen because he was an immature child; a man who threw a fit because he wasn't getting what he wanted, and then that's what set it off. He crossed the room getting right in your face.

"Fight all you want baby, I like it when they think they can get rid of me. I should left more than a few scratches on you; had it been just you and me, I would have treated you no differently than the floozies I pick up every Thursday." He grabbed both of your arms again, no not again! As soon as you hit the furniture, he pinned your arms down, to the sides and forced his lips onto yours. You tried to turn your head and struggle hard but he was so strong.

"Get off me!"

"Scream, and I'll kill Mr. Mustache. One way or another, I'm getting what I came for." He began to unzip your jacket but before anything else could happen, a gold flashy force knocked him off you and held him to the carpet. It was Queen's drummer Roger; he'd been hiding in a nearby closet, listening to everything so he could spring into action if anything went too far.

"Stay down, rapist! Did you get that, Deaky?"

To Derek's surprise, John Deacon the bassist popped out from behind a large potted tree in the corner of the room with a large camera in his grip. He signaled a yes, letting you all know they got everything they needed. Video was really all they needed to convict him, but to rub it in his face even more, you reached down your shirt and pulled out a wire, letting him know your bra had been bugged. That's right, you and the boys took two days planning this to catch Derek in the act and it worked perfectly. Almost on cue, Brian and Freddie escorted a group of officers into the room demanding they remove the root of all your problems.

The next day everyone in the band attended yet another conference to discuss everything and it was amazing; all the reporters who'd wrongfully accused you were now practically kissing your ass. There was nothing more satisfying than feeling this huge weight off your shoulders and the whole truth coming to light. Everyone in Queen received a formal apology from everybody and to even let you all know that Derek wasn't going to be even eligible for parole until he was 82. It's ok. By that time, every inmate would make him their girlfriend; no way he'd survive that.

"Freddie, with Derek finally behind bars and the your lives returning to normal, what's the first thing you're gonna do?"

Brian, Roger and John said they were just going to enjoy the peace with their wives an kids for now. They earned it after all, didn't they? As for Freddie, he took you in his arms, dipped your body, and left an enormous kiss on your lips. Upon standing you back in place, he said.

"I'm going to take the love of my life to Munich for a while. As happy as we are that everything is going back to normal, we haven't been able to just relax and laugh with each other since we started dating. Don't worry, the album will still be done on time. But for now, I just want it to be me and her. I love you with all my heart (Y/N) (L/N)."

"I love you too Freddie Mercury. Thank you so much for being there."

"I'll always look after you."

THE END

Thanks for checking this out! Find more from me on the Masterlist

[tacoteez]

Time's Up

Warning: contains violence

"I'll secure this place, you go and take the time capsule. Yeosang said there's three, but we only need one for this last mission," Wooyoung whispers you to as both of you reached the Greenwich headquarters, where all of the time capsules are usually kept.

" Are you sure we only need just one? What if our people's time gets stealed by the rich peoples of Greenwich in the future?" you questioned what Wooyoung told you. He wanted the mission to be done fast.

"baby, Yeosang needs it. He told us that if we can successfully get only one for him, he'll delete all of our records for stealing them and we can live a new life, wasn't that what you want?"

You agree, since Wooyoung took you from your father, he has done nothing but to sacrifice himself for you. Your father was a time doctor, as they would call. But he was violent on you as he experimented you with time gadgets that he made stabbing your arms without any numbing or proper operation, you grew to be sick of the pain.

The time on your arms indicate how much more time you have before you die. And you have exactly 77 years, same as Wooyoung's because both of you vowed to be together until the end of both of your lives during the wedding.

Both of you used to steal the time capsule to support the people from Wooyoung's district called Dalton so that they can have sufficient time to achieve dreams or to do what they're passionate about. The people there were used to forced to work at the factory to receive more time from the people at Greenwich but the they kept on putting a ridiculously high price for a single year, and that pisses you off.

You kiss his lips quickly and proceeds to enter the building. You become very careful and sensitive with your surroundings. The time capsule shouldn't be that far. The building definitely looks old for your liking but you know these kinds of building holds so many secrets. Or probably dirty ones.You meet eyes with a bodyguard, before he could process anything you kick his crotch, earning a painful groan from him. You swiftly snap his neck as he fell onto the ground unconscious.

At this point, you're weird with the security around the room, usually it takes you and Wooyoung about 4 to 5 bodyguards to handle. But the last mission feels different.

"Wooyoung, I have a bad feeling about this. There's only one guard which is on the left wing of the building" you slowly told Wooyoung using the mini radio.

"If you manage to get the capsule, let me know. This supposed to take about 10 minutes as you have passed by the left wing. If you didn't respond in 10 minutes, I'll be coming for you," you hummed at the response and quickly gather your pace towards the lab where the time capsule is located. You key in the entry code for the lab and you search for the capsule. But your body trembles as you see what is now infront of you.

"Perhaps you're looking for this?" you glare at the capsule in that person's hand. You try to catch it from his hand but is given a punch right towards your stomach. You grunt in pain on the floor.

"If you didn't kill your own father, these won't happen and you'll be marrying me instead of that retard" a sly expression displayed on his face. The trust you build between both of you is slowly shattering. You and Wooyoung did this for him but this is the outcome you get.

"Fucking hell Yeosang, you know I never loved you on the first place," you said to him.

"Ah yes, I know that! And that's why I think I shouldn't even marry you. Why should I even share my time with someone useless as you if I can enjoy being almost immortal?"

You're disgusted by his exclamations. You tried to shoot him with your gun but he's fast enough to run towards you and steps on your hand as hard as he can. The gun in your grip went loose.

"Baby girl, a lab rat like you should die" he's about to pull the trigger towards your arm but you see him falling to the ground. Wooyoung kicks him non stop on the abdomen until Yeosang sheds blood at the corner of his mouth. Wooyoung kneels and grabs a fist of his hair to see the face that betrayed him and you.

" You, a selfish fucker needs to die slowly in my own hands" Wooyoung took out a hand-sized machine and attaches to Yeosang's arm, slowly taking out all the time Yeosang has to live. By the moment the time reached 0 seconds, he dies.

Wooyoung exhales, he feels a release from a sudden panic mode and immediately run towards you who was now kneeling on the floor, clutching your stomach. He hugs you tightly, crying silently at the thought of him losing you.

"I'm sorry that you have to be the one to break in this shitty place, I'm sorry I almost didn't get to protect you. God I can't imagine my life without you if I was late." You move your hands to pat his head to calm him down. You swear your wrist hurts but you instantly forget about it when you have Wooyoung in your embrace.

"I was the one who wanted to break in remember? I'm the only one who knows this place. And I'm happy that my knight gets to save me from a monster in disguise," he gently places a kiss towards your cheek and your lips. You're slowly immersed into the kiss and let his soft lips rubs against yours. Fingers interwined as he can feel the cold silver ring on your finger.

"Let's go home. We can use the time capsule for the other residents at Dalton," both of you sneak out from the building with the time capsule, making way out without a single trace of evidence. Agreeing over Wooyoung saying that this will be the last time both of you will ever step on Greenwich.

A/N: Yeosang I'm sorry

Dt: @strayteez-and-chill

[sleepygamerotaku]

long ass vent i don't now what tws to tag it with so read at your risk

sorry for not posting literally all day i over slept this morning and was late to school. In 5th hour i almost strangled a guy and had a panic attack because of him. i have barely eaten all day and i feel overwhelmed by everything at this point my anxiety has been through the roof lately and I have a shit ton of school work that i don't have finished and i have two F's in my classes (math and geography/social studies who would've thought) i genuinely can't remember the last time i decent night of sleep and i feel tired all day but have so much energy when it's nighttime and i could be using this energy to do my school work bUT IT'S NIGHT TIME RIGHT NOW- it's midnight I can't exactly do my school work now it's dark and i can't have my Chromebook on because it's too late i would get in trouble and there isn't enough light to do my paper assignments without using a light and waking everyone up. i have an assignment due TODAY TECHNICALLY AND I CAN'T WORK ON IT DURING CLASS AND IT WILL BE COUNTED MISSING AFTER 9 PM I PROBABLY WON'T BE ABLE TO FINISH IT IN TIME BECAUSE MY BROTHER NEEDS TO HELP ME WITH IT OR I WON'T EVEN GET ANYTHING DONE-

and if that wasn't stressful enough all of the assignments i try to complete end up being half-assed and don't have any effort and because it isn't good enough i have an existential crisis over it because it isn't exactly how i envisioned it. nothing i ever do is sufficient by anyone's standards and nowhere close to my own. i want to shut myself out from everyone and just wallow in my self pity. i feel undeserving of any and all form of attention and at this point i feel like everything would be better off if i burst into flames and never existed to begin with

i hate myself and everything i do and say and think this world is stupid and i only ever find comfort in characters who aren't real and wouldn't even care about me if they where. it's almost the second semester and i'm probably going have three f's because i'm slowly failing science too

it's not just my school work either. i used to love writing for people i have so many fanfics that aren't anywhere close to being done i haven't been able to complete my drawings in months my mom is constantly wanting me to draw her things but i never get to them and i just never have the energy to do anything anymore

my mod and dad fought so much and now their getting a divorce soon so I'll be stuck with my mom who I don't feel entirely safe with but it wouldn't be any better with my dad because hed been getting physically and verbally violent not only to my mom but me and my brother too. my brother pisses me off and i wish i could run away i'm tired of witnessing my familys constent bickering i haven't spoke with my dad in months either and i'm scared he's just going to suddenly show up again

i've been struggling to be active and i feel like i'm only gaining weight that i'm trying to lose. i don't want to eat anymore and at this point my stretch marks are mocking me. my thighs are fat and ugly and my chest is too big. my cheeks are too chubby my freckles look stupid and i'm sick of seeing nothing but eyebags and acne and ugliness when i look in the mirror i'm just so tired of everything

i don't want to admit it but i need help with everything but i just can't seem to find the strength to ask for it. it just seems like everything is falling apart all around me and i don't know what to do anymore