#but i miss the way it was soooo much and there's no way to go to that place again except in memories
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can you do a part 3 to safe house please where reader goes back to Allie’s but stays in Paige’s room and they start a relationship?
˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚���✧˚ · .
safe house pt 3 (previous part)
summary: loosely based on this request! read previous parts
content warnings: alcohol consumption
You can’t remember the last time you got drunk. While you were with your ex boyfriend, you weren’t allowed to drink or party or have any fun actually but you’re not with him anymore so you can do whatever you want. And that’s why you had a red cup in each hand, one filled with vodka and the other with rum.
You took big gulps from each cup, the harsh bitterness of the alcohol no longer having an effect on you. You didn’t know what time it was, you could have arrived at the party two minutes ago or two hours ago, everything was a blur. It was nice. The constant anxiety that you were so used to living with everyday was slowly dispersing and not just because of the multitude of drinks you had consumed tonight.
You’d been staying at Allies place with her Paige and Jana for almost a month now. Your bruises had faded, you no longer flinched when someone touched you and you slept peacefully every night knowing that you weren’t going to wake up being choked or slapped. OK, not every night, you had nightmares sometimes but you were never alone, the girls held you while you cried every time. Especially Paige, she had a knack for knowing when you needed support and she would wrap her arms around you and rub your back until you could breathe normally again.
Speaking of Paige, you hadn’t seen her in a while, nor Allie or Jana but you just shrugged this off, downing the rest of your drinks, eager to find another. Your steps were staggered and your body swayed as you walked, if you knew any better, you’d stop drinking, go find your friends and make your way home but you didn’t know better. You felt like you had a new sense of life and you wanted to do all the things you missed out on while being in such a toxic relationship and that included getting drunk at frat parties.
You giggled to yourself as you pour more vodka into your cup. Your hand shook and the liquid splashed onto the counter, “Oh shittttt!” Your speech was slurred and slow and you felt dizzy as you spun around looking for paper towels to clean your mess. You couldn’t find any so decided the next best option was your shirt. You stretch the hem of your shirt and used the thin, lacy material to soak up the spilled alcohol. Obviously, this didn’t have the intended effect and you were left with a wet shirt and a bigger mess than before. You cursed under your breath but another sip of alcohol soon had you forgetting about the wet patch and swaying to the music again.
You made your way out of the kitchen, towards the booming speakers, desperate to dance but with your eyes focused on your feet, trying to stay balanced, you didn’t notice as you bumped straight into the chest of a rather large guy.
“Woah there.” He chuckles, hands reaching out to steady you and you allow him to, looking up grinning.
“I’m soooo sorryyyy.” You drawl out and he chuckles again, “It’s OK baby. Gotta watch where you’re going.”
“I just want to dance!” You pout, “Dance with me?” You flutter your lashes at the guy and his eyes rake over you, settling on your chest and you look down to see the top of your bra peaking out of your shirt, your full cleavage on clear display. Using your shirt as a rag had caused it to expose your chest way more than necessary.
“How ‘bout we go to my room? You can dance all you like in there.”
With God knows how much alcohol in your system and lack of better judgment, you slip your hand into his and follow behind him as he leads you through the frat house. He’s walking fast and you can’t keep up, you trip over your own feet, landing on the floor, your knee instantly hurts.
“Owww.” You cry out, clutching your throbbing knee, the entirety of your cup is spilled but you don’t have time to think about any of that because you’re instantly picked by up the guy you just met and you’re on your feet again and he’s leading you to the stairs.
Your steps are slower now because you’re limping but you’re practically being dragged and you feel as though you might fall again but then you feel a grip on your wrist and you’re being dragged in the opposite direction. With your hand still tight in the guys and your wrist being grasped from behind you, you’re being dragged in both directions and you think your arms are going to be ripped off.
“Let her go.” A stern, steady voice says from behind you and you recognise it, “Paigeeeeee!” You cheered as you turned around, coming face to face with the blonde, “I’ve been looking for you!”
“Now you’ve found me. Let’s go.” She says, tugging on your arm.
“Oh noooo I’m OK! We’re going to danceeee.” You reassure and your new buddy does too, “Yeah, I got her.” He says, also tugging on your arm.
“What’s her name?” Paige asks completely deadpan, in fact, she’s full on death glaring and when the guy can’t answer her question, she tugs on you harder until he drops your hand and scurries away.
“You’re no fun.” You sulk, crossing your arms over your body, frowning at Paige.
“And you’re very drunk. And your boobs are out,” She lifts your shirt until your chest is covered again, “and your knee is bleeding. And he definitely did not want to dance.”
“So? I’m si..shingle now.” You fumble over your words.
“Shingle?” Paige laughs and it only makes you frown more, “You know what I mean.”
“Yes, I know. All too well. Let’s go home.” She says grabbing your hand.
“Oh! I loooveeeee that song! Ten minute version! I walked through the door with you…” You began belting out the lyrics to All Too Well (10 minute version) as Paige guided you out of the frat house and you laughed as you walked through a door as you sang that exact lyric.
“And the air isssss cold.” You laugh again as you step into the street.
“OH YOUR SWEET DIS-DISPO-DISPOSITION!” You continue to perform as you walk hand in hand with Paige.
“What even is disposition? I’m sure yours is sweet whatever it is.” You lean into Paige, suddenly feeling very unsteady and she wraps your arm over her shoulder, her own hooking around your waist and she pretty much carries you all the way home while you butcher the lyrics to Taylor Swift.
By the time you reach the apartment, all your body weight is leant on Paige and she holds you strong and firm as she unlocks the door. You trip and stumble as you walk but she doesn’t let you fall, “Home stretch ma, just a few more steps.” She tells you before you feel the soft surface of a bed beneath you. The covers are fluffy and lilac, “This is your bed.” You say as if she doesn’t know. “Uh huh.” Is all she says as you feel her taking off your shoes.
You lay looking up at Paiges ceiling and you hear her shuffle around her room. Her bed is really comfortable you think to yourself.
Your knee begins to sting and you flinch, “It’s OK. I’m just wiping your knee.” Paiges voice is soft and gentle and she rubs your leg comfortingly. “You’re good at that.” You mumble, “Fixing me up.”
“I got you.”
“Thank you.” You voice is croaky and dry as you sit yourself up to look at your knee and the room spins, “The room is spinning.” You groan, holding a hand to your head.
“I’ll get you some water. Stay there.” Paige instructed and she left you alone in her room. Your wet shirt clung to you in an uncomfortable way and you tussle with it to get it over your head before throwing it on the floor.
“Oh…” Paige clears her throat as she comes back with a bottle of water, “It was wet.” You motion to your discarded shirt, “I’ll get you a clean one.” She says and hands you the bottle of water which you gladly take and gulp down, desperate for hydration.
Paige slips a t-shirt over your head and helps you thread your arms through and you look down, recognising the grey, UConn Basketball shirt you’ve seen her wear so many times, “Suits you.” She remarks and you grin up at her from your place on the edge of her bed, “Thank you, Paige. For everything. All the things you’ve done for me. No one’s ever done that for me before.” You admit as sobriety starts to slip in.
“Of course. I couldn’t just stand back and watch you get hurt.”
You reach out for Paiges hand as she stands in front of you and you hold it tenderly before bringing it to your mouth and pressing a soft kiss to it. You look up at Paige through your eyelashes and she’s looking down at you, eyes blue as ever, cheeks slightly flushed, “Can I sleep in here tonight?” You ask timidly and Paige nods, “I’ll take the couch.”
“No. I want to sleep in here…with you…please.” You mutter, hand still linked with Paiges, her calloused palm pressed against yours.
“You’re drunk…” She warns but you shake your head, “I know what I’m saying.”
“I don’t think you do.”
“Trust me, I do. Just lay with me tonight.” You shuffle back onto Paiges bed, pulling her with you and she doesn’t argue. She kicks her shoes off before laying down beside you, still holding your hand.
“I never knew it was meant to feel like this. So safe and secure.” You ramble on, unable to stop the words from spewing out, “And maybe that’s why I can’t stop thinking about you. Why it’s you who I want when I wake up crying. I don’t know if you meant to do this but you’ve showed me what it’s like to be truly cared for. I think I’m falling for you.”
The air is charged and there’s a long uncomfortable silence as your words hang between you both as you lay side by side.
“Get some sleep. You’ve had a lot to drink and you’re not going to remember anything in the morning.” Paige says, staring at her ceiling.
“I will.” You argue but you listen to her and close your eyes, moving your head to rest on her shoulder as you drift off to sleep, the taste of spirits still strong in your mouth and your heart racing from your drunken confession.
You wake up feeling like your head has been crushed under a hydraulic press. You groan as your eyes flutter open and then you gasp, waking up to Paige underneath you, your head rested on her chest, arm flung over her torso.
“What the fuck?” You mutter under your breath, noticing you’re wearing her top and that her arm is wrapped around you keeping you pressed to her. “Paige!” You hiss nudging her awake and it takes a moment but she begins to stir before slowly peeling her eyes open.
“I bet your head hurts like a motherfucker.” She grumbles, voice husky, thick with tiredness.
“You can say that again.” You squeeze your eyes shut hoping that blocking out the stream of daylight coming through the curtains will ease your pounding head. It doesn’t.
“What happened last night?” You ask apprehensively, pushing yourself up and off of Paige. She stays laying down, staring up at you, her eyes searching yours for a lightbulb moment but it doesn’t come. You have no memory of last night at all.
“You don’t remember?” She asks also pushing herself up so you’re both sitting. She’s still fully dressed and you’re still clad in your skirt from the night before so you know nothing happened between you but the atmosphere is charged like there’s something unspoken just hanging in the air.
“No. Not a thing. Did I embarrass myself?” You ask, cheeks heating at the thought of you doing something you’ll regret.
Paige shakes her head, “No. You were just really drunk. Tried going to a random dudes room so I brought you home.”
“Oh God. Thanks for stopping that.” You place a hand on Paiges knee and she has a reaction that you can’t quite place, “How comes I’m in here?” You ask, referring to her room. You either slept with Allie or on the couch.
“You asked to sleep in here.” She tells you and breaks eye contact, standing from the bed. She was acting weird. Fidgety and awkward. This wasn’t Paige.
“Did I do something to upset you?” You ask, guilt starting to slip in. You were used to being blamed for everything so it was only right Paiges mood was caused by you.
“No. No, of course not.” She reassured you but her body language said otherwise, “Then what is it?” You press, starting to feel awkward yourself, sat in her bed, wearing her top.
“You really don’t remember?”
“Obviously not. Can you just tell me?”
“You were drunk-“
“Yeah I got that part.”
“You were drunk and you asked to sleep in here…with me so we layed down together and you said you felt safe and secure. You said you can’t stop thinking about me…” Paige trails off but she doesn’t need to say anything more because everything comes flooding back to you, “I said I think I’m falling for you.” You say, repeating your alcohol induced confession.
Paige nods, “Fuckkk.” You groan, flopping back on her bed, covering your face with your hands, “I’m sorry. I was drunk and I shouldn’t have said that and now I’ve made things weird when you’ve been so good to me.” Your voice is muffled as you keep your hands pressed to your face, not daring to look at Paige.
“You haven’t made things weird. I didn’t know you felt like that. You caught me off guard.” Paige says and you feel the bed dip as she sits on it.
“Off guard in a bad way…or a good way?” You ask, not sure if you want to hear the answer.
Spending the past month with Paige had been confusing and you put it down to the repercussions of such an awful relationship but the more time you spent alone, watching movies, cooking, eating, talking, laughing, crying and actually being treated right, you realised that your feelings for Paige weren’t strictly platonic. You had no plan on telling her that though. To you, Paige saw you as a victim, someone who needed saving and she was kind enough to do that and you had taken that kindness and made it something it wasn’t and you were sure Paige saw you as just a friend.
“Not in a bad way. You’re beautiful and funny and you deserve the best in life but-“
“But I’m damaged goods.” You mutter, you had allowed yourself to be used and abused for a long time and then Paige watched you throw yourself at a random guy last night, you were crazy to think she’d want you.
“No, that’s not what I was going to say,” She turns to look at you and you have your knees tucked up to your chest, back rested against her headboard, “you’ve been through a lot. You’re going through a lot. I didn’t want to take advantage of that.” Paige says softly and you feel yourself melt. She has a way with words that makes your stomach flutter.
“I just want to forget about that. You help me forget about that. But I don’t want to be a charity case.”
“You’re not a charity case. Not to me.”
“What am I, to you?”
Paige stays silent but she moves closer to you, close enough to touch but ahe doesn’t reach out and your skin burns with need.
“You’re someone I care about…deeply. I want to spend all my time with you. I do spend all my time with you. You have something that I just can’t get enough of. I want to show you what it’s like to be loved…for real. Real, wholesome love. If you’ll let me.
Will you let me?”
Your heart is beating in your ears at this point and you’re staring at Paige, eyes soft and yearning and you can’t hold back from touching her any longer so you fling your arms around her, pulling her as close to you as she can get. Her arms find their way around your waist, hugging you back, your face is nestled into her neck, the scent of last nights cologne still strong, “I’ll let you.”
˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .
a/n: think i might take a break from writing once i get through some requests. my mental health is downnn atm and it’s making me hate everything i write 😕
#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#wcbb#wlw#lovegalor333#lgbtq#fanfic#paige x reader#oneshot#sophs works 🪽#paige bueckers fanfiction
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Hi!! If you have the time- how would the jjk guys react to the reader giving them the silent treatment?
I hope you're having a wonderful day!
Gojo:
Would try to make you laugh at first When that doesn't work and he notices you're just getting more irritated, he'd start bribing you Buys you flowers, handbags, dresses, jewellery you name it If you're still silent, then he'll go deadly serious Would confront you in the dark, sitting on the sofa like he's been waiting for hours 'Is there nothing I can do? Are we done for good? Are you leaving me too?'
Geto:
Gets snarky Two can play that game He's not the calm and patient guy everyone thinks he is He just reacts in subtle ways Makes passive-aggressive comments But eventually will get tired, sighs and just asks you straight up what he did wrong 'Alright, what happened? Let me inside that head of yours.'
Choso:
Keeps asking you what's wrong Gets really sad and depressed Very much kicked puppy vibes Just follows you around everywhere Until you crack 'I didn't know what I did but I'm sorry. Please talk to me? I'm scared'
Toji:
LOL LMFAO ROFL This man would be soooo annoying He'd be smug as hell at first Says shit like 'It's nice to have peace and quiet here' 'You should get mad at me more often ma' BUT eventually realising you're not gonna crack He'll start to get nervous Starts cleaning up after himself Double checks to make sure the trash is out, he hasn't left any dishes in the sink, didn't miss any appointments or anniversaries etc etc Would send Megumi in to get a feel for your mood 'make yourself extra cute kid' 'ask her why she isn't speaking to me. no don't tell her I told you to. whose side are you on?'
Nanami:
Would ask you immediately if there's something wrong Is so mature and healthy it's irritating 'please communicate with me, darling. I can't apologise and fix whatever I ruined if you don't talk to me.' Eventually, he'll give you space But then you'll start feeling really bad because he'll assume that you hate him or something Like, he'll start buying sandwiches to take to work cause he thinks you won't make lunch for him like normal or sleeps on the couch eats dinner and watches shows by himself so you cave first and the smile he gives you is so worth it
Sukuna:
Doesn't notice a thing at first He isn't the type to be clingy, he's not the affectionate one, he mostly returns it So there'll just be a period of silence Until he begins to feel your absence in which case he'll seek you out and then becomes the clingy one 'it is a pleasant day out, would you care to join me for a stroll? gets sooo offended if you don't say anything 'no? would you prefer to stroll with someone else? tell me who and they will be killed. in fact, continue to remain in silence and everyone will be killed.'
Yuji:
Confused :0 asks Nobara for advice 'you're a girl, she's a girl. so tell me what's going on' 'is it the time of the month?' uses loads of different tricks to make you break performs dances and skits gets Gojo involved tries to get Megumi involved (no chance) he's so stupid you just have to cave and explain he's an idiot and he'll nod happily
Megumi:
yeahhhhhh you'll be having a silent off for days and weeks you'll both continue to co-exist in silence it's just not smart
Inumaki:
annoying as hell texts you shit like: 'when she copies you' 'ho is u good?' 'can you be original at least?' when that doesn't work he'll break into your social media or gaming accounts right in front of you and threatens to release a post pretending to be you like 'you know, hitler wasn't that bad' or an ugly picture of you then you'll have to cave and he gets so caught up in the victory, he'll accidentally post it yep, he's a dead man walking
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idk why but I'm entirely too into the idea of Megatron making Optimus' adult sparkling with someone else into his bride slash baby mama. like "I couldn't have him so I'll make his son into everything I ever wanted". Bonus points if the sire is Rung, both so the sparkling is shorter than oppy and for the just. FEELINGS involved in getting cucked by god so you breed his offspring and make a quarter-godly decepticon army, to overthrow them with their own grandkids. It's not just about revenge and practicality tho, I want Megatron pampering tf outta his wifey and showing him off so Optimus knows what he's missing out on (and maybe he DOES get jealous and bc rung is SOOOO nicies he's like. ok babe go be sister wives with our son). I am not envisioning this in like a centipede way but I guess you could, I just like the visual of Megatron having them hanging off either arm, or straddling his thighs. Megatron wants rung to be pissed SO BAD but no. rung is happy his ex wife and son are happy, and will gladly allow Megatron to install chastity protocols in him, so that he can be kept as a pet to keep the wives company
ohohohOoo that’s a really good thought. Optimus would fucking hate it so much. Megatron took his dear baby, pretending to care for him, pampering him for show, parading his new wifey around while cradling that big, swollen tummy possessively. Megatron’s intention is to piss off Optimus. and the sire of his sparkling, after all.
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“Baby?”
Steve lifts his head off the pillow to look at Eddie, his back arching in a much needed way after lying on his stomach for so long, and he ends up groaning appreciatively as he stretches his back a little more. It makes Eddie smile. All the small things do.
Overcome with sudden but gentle affection, Steve rolls over with a matching smile and comes to a stop lying halfway beneath Eddie, getting a glorious view of his deepening dimples.
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been thinking,” Eddie says, his hand coming up to brush Steve’s hair out of his forehead. Steve leans into his warmth a little further, feeling so incredibly loved when Eddie looks at him like that.
It’s infinite, what he feels for Eddie. What he feels with Eddie.
“Oh? ‘Bout what?”
Eddie leans down and brushes a kiss to the tip of Steve’s nose. “You,” he says. “Me. Us.”
Steve hums, wrapping himself in Eddie’s scent as he buries his face in his chest, his arms trapped between them. He can’t move. Can hardly breathe. It’s perfect, and Eddie always indulges his cat-like tendencies, as he calls it.
“Tell me about your thoughts?”
A hand weaves its way into his hair, scratching wonderfully along his scalp in lazy, soothing patterns.
“I’m gonna put pillows on the walls for you.”
“Hmm?”
“When we have our own place. I’m gonna put pillows on the walls for you. In the kitchen even, so you can sit on the floor and still be comfy. You can have a little nook for floor time with Robin. And it’s gonna be padded with pillows, but the ones that are still solid. Only a little soft. Still grounding.” Eddie mumbles, a little lost in thought like he’s still imagining it all unfold.
Steve melts, first rolling further into him and then back, so he can look up and meet those soft, soft eyes.
“That’s what you’re thinking about?”
“All the time. Never wanna tell you about it so I won’t ruin the surprise, but, I don’t know. Wanted to tell you. You’re gonna have bougie-ass wall pillows, angel.”
And Steve doesn’t know how to handle this. How to take it all, take everything Eddie gives him and live his life an unchanged man. His heart is going to burst one of these days. It’s gonna burst and it’s gonna go everywhere, remind the world for all eternity of the love they shared. Built. Shaped and reshaped in all the ways they needed.
“Everything,” he says, his voice weak with the awe he feels, his own hand coming up to Eddie’s cheek.
“Hmm?” Eddie’s nuzzling the palm of his hand, brushing kiss over kiss to the centre.
“You’re— You’re everything. Can’t believe it sometimes.”
“Only sometimes?” Eddie teases, making Steve laugh for the first time in hours. It’s easy. God, it’s so easy.
“Don’t be so full of yourself.”
“Oh, I’m gonna be full of som—“
Laughing, Steve claps his hand over Eddie’s mouth, shutting him up and revelling in the giggle that follows before Eddie nips on his palm.
“I hate you,” Steve grins, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s middle.
“Yeah, well,” he hums, fond affection settling permanently on that pretty, pretty face. “‘M still gonna put pillows on the wall for you.”
Steve sighs, hoping to relieve some of the intensity he’s feeling. It’s overwhelming, even after all this time.
“I love you.”
“I love you,” Eddie whispers, hovering above him in an almost-kiss. “Endlessly.”
@puppy-steve i love you. i’d put pillows on the wall for you 🤍🌷
🤍 permanent tag list gang (i hope this is okay even though it’s only a tiny thing) (and maybe some reprieve from all my current angst): @skiddit @inklessletter @aringofsalt @hellion-child @stobin-cryptid @hotluncheddie @gutterflower77 @auroraplume @steddieonbigboy @n0-1-important @stevesjockstrap @brainvines @puppy-steve @izzy2210 @itsall-taken @mangoinacan13 @madigoround @pukner @i-amthepizzaman @swimmingbirdrunningrock @hammity-hammer (lmk if you want on or off)
#steddie fic#steddie#dio words#steve harrington#eddie munson#dio’s steddie ramblings#floor time#<- going back to my OG steddie ways even if it’s only implied#they’re soooo in love smh#cj i’m holding you ily so much i miss talking to you (i just suck) but pls this is for you i hope it makes things better 🥺🤍
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these are A BIT OLD but uhhh here check out these aggio doodles i did forever ago. still VERY happy w my colors :3
#this was back in uhhhh jan 2023!! hot dog!! and its still perfeclty good to eat!#i think kian and chip would get along. they could talk about feelings. kian could give chip the therapy he needs. maybe kiss? who said that#jay and rand could also get along i think. smoke buddies. cigarette fans. i bet they could play dnd together. or build a contraption togeth#also WAUHG the way i colored in kira here is SO PERFECT.. SHES SO SPARKLY N PRETTY. ALSO THAT HOOORNN i remember bleeding for that#shading is HARD lighting is HARD drawing a crazy unicorn is HARD but SOOOO WORTH IT I SITLL LOVE HOW IT LOOKES.....#waht else is there. oh yes the prime defender doodles#i love mark so much.... i miss being crazy and strange abt mark winters... i need to draw him killing more people someday#anyway i gotta go to bed soon to keep my sleep schedul on track but I DONT WAANNA!!!! recently relistened to bitb. that might release spore#im also chippin away at that am i in heaven animatic between workin on commissions. I GOT RLY FAR!! i think that i could finish it within#like. 3 or 4 more inspo waves. it wont be unfinished forevcer..... its so close... just 4 more full scenes to rly fleshh out#so basically another 2 years. YEAH BABy. in the meantime i have a backlog of things i can poast. i got plenty o drawings and doodles to sha#alrigh thats all the ramblin im gonna do for now. sleep well everyone hope shool or work goes easy on u in the coming week
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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore#this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…
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Finally glad the mouthwashing fandom-at least on here- is finally coming around to see the idea that neither curly or jimmy are completely innocent nor should be babied or completely villainized because to do that you'd need to *checks notes*
Completely ignore how mouthwashing is a story of how systems of abuse are kept in power. Particularly rape culture and the patriarchy that encourages these actions while also encouraging bystander effect from other men close to predators...which is all encouraged under a system like capitalism.
Idk read more of tha rant in tags I got carried away I fear.
#its all interchanging systems babe#if i see another post babying curly#or removing any amount of humanity from jimmy#im going to assume you simply dont want to interact with the meat of the game#you just looked at overall plot points and story beats with a glance and refused to give this wonderful game its flowers#stop turning these complex character into one dimensional things you can comodify like prepackaged food#this also heavily includes anya and the weird way you guys also baby her#shes a grown woman...a tramatized one yeah? but a grown woman who should be treated decently#not just spme one note preformative doll you wave around in order to comfort and baby curly or to shit on jimmy in the most ooc way possible#same with swansea#my goodness#mouthwashing#seriously ik fandom always does this but mouthwashing tumblr somehow impressed me?#with how much they could miss themes and intricacies for their preformative turn to the camera so they can say#“grrr this character bad and is monster lets throw a bunch of cluster b disorders at them and remove any character to prove a point ”#“wow this character is completely absolved from his actions and is too innocent to be deeply analyzed...#lets give him a playtoy supporting female character to dote on him and loft him up despite her own trauma!“#rant#im sorry its just soo annoying#usually im a “do everything you want forever” type girl#but its seeing the fandoms hypocrisy in jow they treat charscters like jimmy and curly and swansea that makes me realize#media literacy is soooo down hill.#quick give me a 500 word essay on why you think *shittiest take ever* is acceptable!
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images that bring me peace. u simply dont understand. !!!!
#tagging them bc theyre IMPORTANT SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!#twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts#cater diamond#twst#cayrid#ummmmmmmmm theyre friends they get along they like each other THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO MEEEEEE#guest star trey clover also bc the three of them are a set and mean the world to each other actually#brought to u by them being my faves but also me getting upset that ppl think theyre not friends!!!#also riddle has a voice line in his bday card that trey and cater made those tarts for him!!!!!#listen listen LISTEN trey/cater/riddle theyre soooo shdfkjdsfkjl theres so much there#like platonic or ship either way theyre just. they mean So Much#riddle trusts cater as basically a secondary vice housewarden!!!#cater is so often herding the underclassmen alongside trey and riddle!!!!!!!!!!#he wouldnt be in that spot if riddle didnt like or trust him!!!#theyre friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#theyre friends. ill bite u. <- me fighting with no one LOL#I LOVE WHEN RIDDLE MENTIONS CATER WHEN HES NOT THERE AND HES LIKE CATER WOULD LIKE THIS!!!!!#THATS HIS FRIIIEEENDDDDDD [starts sobbing]#ok god i need to go to bed#but i had a lot of these in drafts for weeks#i just kept forgetting to reread the riddle and cater dorm stories for screenshots#god the way they all get sulky faced over missing cater... heartslabyul you mean everything to me forever#my blatant favorite dorm !!!!!!!!!!!#in the future here having added the cayrid tag#because now I know what they’re called and I need people to Care Them#this is not exclusively a ship post but you know. friendships and ships blend in my mind a lot#At the core there is AMBIGUOUS LOVE AND CARE
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sometimes i can’t believe i was posting wips every single wednesday and sunday for literal months like who even was that person
#and now i can’t even write a paragraph without taking a month break#or monthS should i say#god why aren’t the words so easy anymore 😫���#this writers block thing is doing my absolute head in#i get so excited to still be tagged#and then i’m all ☹️ cos i have no words to share back#i have so many wips so may ideas but i am so scattered#i miss writing soooo much#and instead of actually writing#i just think about it#and never get any words down#also we’re like a third of the way thru the new season and that is scaring me#i feel like by the time i can write again or finish a fic i’ll have missed the boat#and everyone will have moved on#or already written the same idea but better#and it’ll be like hey! what’s the point#anyway i’ll try to be reassured by the fact everyone stayed active during an 18 month hiatus#and the more fics the merrier#also feels like i’m trying to make up for lost time#for all the years the show aired and i wasn’t apart of the fandom#i want to enjoy and savour all the moments of the new season with you all#and get out of my own head#but that won’t be tonight 🥲#🌀 hours#don’t mind me being a sook lol#emphasis on the sunday scaries tonight#literally how is it monday again already im going insane 😵💫#d stuff
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I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ACTUALLY I'LL MISS THEM 😭😭😭💖💖💖💕💕💕
#fluff speaks !!!#THE FRIENDS EVER..................................... 🥺🥺🥺✨✨✨#Shoutout to ScarVio for feeding us so many loveable friend trios (Area Zero squad and these blorbos . my beloveds)#I just love how they changed in their own little ways throughout this series and became good frenssssssssss 💖💖💖💕💕💕#they're all so sweet I love them I treasure them and I'll miss them now that this is over ueueueueueeeeueueeee#their video was absolutely stellar too god it WAS SO GOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD#ALL THE TEACHERS AND LEAGUE MEMBERS AND THE FACT THAT WE ACTUALLY GET TO HEAR RYME RAP????????????FIREEEEEEEEEEE#god the animation was soooooo soooo edible and delicious as well I could gnaw on it all day#I'm honestly so glad I saved the last two episodes of Paldean Winds to watch cause I was having a really awful day#and getting to see these sillies and just how much wholesome lovely vibes there were in these episodes was just a wonderful mood boost#ooooooughhghghggggg they're just so cute I love they 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖#also I'm not the only one who noticed that spark between Ohara and Aliquis rightSDJKFSHDNFJKANSDNDFS#there was that extended shot of how glad Aliquis was to see how happy Ohara was and I couldn't help but go 👀👀👀👀👀#IT WAS CUTEEEEEEEE but anyhow them as a trio of friends is absolutely precious in and of itself hehe#aaauuugggww what a delightful way to celebrate ScarVio ✨✨✨#paldean winds#pokemon#pokemon scarvio#pokemon scarvi#pokemon scarlet and violet#ohara pokemon#aliquis pokemon#hohma pokemon
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;&)$<€GGGWHAHHEHXUEUEHHEGWHH&2$:@@?!]•\¥€.•]€|£ 😁😀
#THERES SO MUCH THERES SOOOO MUCH HAPPENING HWHUWYWTFAHQHWH#txt#IM FINEEE THE AUTISM GOING UNSANEEEWEEE#venom having both the possitive and negative relationship lines for slayer.#the entire love and hate Square.#jealousy.#the way chipps there. hi chipp I miss your connection to the guild.#ok im good
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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I was thinking the other day that man, kokuto neji is such a character and I haven't liked a writer character like this since... shang qinghua?
which naturally led me to this thought: jj fic with svsss-style au where neji transmigrates/gets isekai'd into the world of havenna. as domina, of course.
it's extra fucked up imo because at least when sqh transmigrated in his book, he made up all of those characters and they mostly stayed in the realm of fantasy. like, sure, lbh was kinda based on himself in some ways and mbj was his ideal fantasy, but they still mostly stayed fictional, you know? sqq (sy) had to fix his plots because the characters sqh wrote strayed too far from their original plotlines
but theater makes a fictional world a bit too real and personal, especially when you use real people as inspirations for your writing. with neji, he'd be looking at rukiora and see three different people (mitsuki acting as rukiora; rukiora who was written based on a younger version of neji; rukiora who is her own person in this weirdly real world of havenna). neji would see fugio and to him that is both sou acting as fugio and the fugio who grew up with poison flowers. miguel is both fumi and the guy who ran away from his neshiromi fields. the only constant would probably be chicchi. she is too much like kisa in that... well. neji didn't really have a backstory for chicchi. chicchi is a blank canvas just like kisa is as an actor.
anyway. yeah, very sv-style character arc where neji, much like shen yuan in sv, is forced to humanize the villain. except this villain was his creation and is also tied to a bunch of personal issues for neji that he Doesn't Want To Think About and also he doesn't? really understand the character he wrote tbh?
isn't art supposed to process your emotions for you!! why must he process these himself!!
can you imagine neji, who always casts himself as a seer of some sort (fortune teller, ushinoko) or someone who generally has some control over his future or his "creation" (who is mary if not just another side of neji anyway; she's takihime redux, and takihime is also. neji). imagine this dude being transported inside the play he wrote but he doesn't understand it and he has no control over it and everyone's acting both in character and out of character. he both knows and doesn't know these people. they're fictional but also... real? does he treat them as real people? is domina real? he wanted his actors to imbue parts of themselves into his characters. are these people really just characters from a script? are they his quartz classmates? is he allowed to even hope that that's the case?
it's both THE improv exercise of his dreams and also. a nightmare
#mine musings#liveblogging jj#jack jeanne#i do kinda want to write this eventually. like separate from a njmtsks fic#oh god. not me wanting to write a fic about a story within another story. oh rama havenna...#we can even throw in the whole prayer theme. like yes the priest preaches in a godless town and he carries a bible but hear me out#what if the god he's preaching about is himehiko instead#like. prayers and confession as offerings to a theater god. said theater god put you in your own play to “help” you fix it bc you#as the scriptwriter don't even understand anything about your own play#i kinda envision this as a neji & kai fic#though neji mostly struggles with rukiora and chicchi and the way domina prevents him from reacting authentically#neji knows everyone's backstories and inspiration but them BAM he has to face chicchi and he doesn't know anything about her#bc he was banking on kisa making chicchi her own character and being the 'transparent vessel' that helps everyone improve#and also he just had zero notes about chicchi lmao#neji every night at pontartia: is she being ooc right now or is this how chicchi was supposed to be all this time#like remember that time when he said to sou that he only realized what mukai's character was about after kisa got her act together#it's happening agaaainnnnn with chicchi#meanwhile rukiora hates him soooo much and neji is sad that he can't even confess about this to the priest bc it would be ooc for domina#mikki hates him!! except that's not mikki. but she looks and sounds and acts like mikki!! and also like a younger version of neji!!#he'll look to jire and he's all sad and mopey and neji is like. suzu having nuance is GREAT but also suzu not being cheery feels so bad man#where's my moodmaker? hachipochi missing hours :(#he tries to talk to sou but that's not sou that's fugio and also. fugio only cares about chicchi#domina barely even interacts with miguel so neji has to devise ways for domina to talk to him while being in character#but the minute he gets close rukiora is there and miguel would never talk to someone that makes rukiora upset. go away madame!!#neji is left to commiserate with otori/facchio and himehiko is laughing in the background
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Going through a moment rn because I just realised I don’t know when the next time I see Louis will be. The idea it is going to take months, or worse YEARS, makes me spiral into the void.
Bring me back to his show last night.
No, bring me back to the first time I saw him so I can see him six more times again 🥹
I want him to rest and take care and just — you know, do his things without tour or pressure or anything, but please don’t go away for long long long? Pretty please. Come back soon, when you’re ready, when time is right for you but please Louis, don’t take long ❤️🩹
#the post concert depression is hitting me right now#i cant imagine when I’ll be back home and back to work#like this is going to be soooo hard for me so hard#because I struggle So so so so so much with nostalgia#jesus christ it’s just so overwhelming for me#it’s such an intense feeling and my body feels it way too deeply#and I hate that I love it so much because it makes me feel stuff for so long after they have been gone#like it’s my body and memory way to relive through things all over again#but it’s so deep and intense and it come in waves and i go silent for so long#sort of stuck inside the memories of what I used to have yk?#and like with Louis is usually multiplied x 100000#because I don’t ever know where next how next what is going to happen and it just#flies by so swiftly that I don’t even notice and i wish i could turn back time#but im glad to feel all this because no matter what blogs here think about me#i love that man for this sort of feelings he makes me feel#about missing time that is no more and nurturing my inner child so warmly
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#GAGGGEDDDDDD#yay omg yay:)#guys i am going to die#oct 27 2024#no cosnlike. in dreams or whatever WHATEVER#sick to my stomach i've literally been hallucinating delusional etc#u don't understand i'm going to die#LIKE FAVORITE PERSON EVER SORRY#the way i cross my sevens and z's and don't leave a space for the smiley face :|#hope she never knows how obsessedddd :)#oct 28 2024#:| idk it's the only thing keeping me going but also i survived six months#oct 29 2024#giggling twirling my hair kicking my heels looking at my phone get a grip...#. no bc my brain#i am having a terrible day but i love her#being delusional works!#i am SO EXCITED lutkkenekenfksnfn i am so excited i've missed her so much#actually soooo sick and twisted the way my irl ummm what do you call... emotional support older white women are actually the best huggers in#the world like it's not my fault#lik i don't i don't i do not i donut even care !#no thoughts head empty#stoppp cos like building it up in my head based on the past etc etc ...... but it always lives up 2 it & more!#oct 30 2024#cointinuing to be insane 🙏#idk there is something so tender ............#waaaah ok waaaaaaaaaaah i cant#just want to go HOME#want to swim in prelude 4ever#girl who is so so tired and just wants it to be 7:30 east
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Overwhelmed by nostalgia actually
#this will sound SO elitist of me#but#i miss my summer course at the boarding school that was closed after the summer and they carved out an artificial lake on the manor grounds#and converted the cozy two-person dorm rooms to have bunk beds to fit six to eight kids#apparently they also 'refurbished' a historic building on the site :(#i mean i'm glad someone is taking care of the site - it's so beautiful#but i miss the way it was soooo much and there's no way to go to that place again except in memories#and then !! sequel - cambridge 2019#granted it would probably be much the same as a town if i went in summer again but it really was when i learned how much i love university#but yeah deeply sad and insane about [redacted] manor i miss it sooooo much#one of my teachers actually really liked me and wanted to seriously talk about me studying there full time oabdlskdödldöfo#obviously it was never going to happen because who pays english boarding fees when you can study 100% for free at home#but what if in an alternate universe i did study there#idk i don't feel that sad about THAT missed chance#mostly because i'm legit replicating it w my master's#but i do wonder if i'm going to spend the rest of my life chasing similar places and the way i felt that summer when i was 15 🥹#if you send me a dm and we're friends etc i will show you pictures of the manor because it looks amazing
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