#but i like understood it??
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#i started psychotherapy and he started talking in hebrew#but i like understood it??#it was simple but my issue isnt vocab so much as its just auditory comprehension which i sometimes struggle in english with too#we did switch back to english tho becuase i was like mAh??#since if im not expecting someone to speak hebrew i need a couple seconds to translate#im still bad at switching back and forth but i imagine it will get better after i move#and get more practice#its nice though not having to lie to a doctor about my situation since were in the same community#and its nice to say shabbat shalom on the way out#he did lowkey interrogate me on why i want to move to israel and i never feel like i can give a good enough answer in words#like i feel it in my bones is a fucking weird thing to say out loud ok#its in my bones doc#my skeleton yearns for the hummus#personal#silly things#jumblr
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calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.
#nonbinary love#nblnb yearning#nb4nb#nblnb#wholesomeposting#yearning hours#ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense#so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me”#and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc#but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership#i think about this mostly in terms of ecology#and relation to land#but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers#like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs#but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while#and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well#when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else#its understood i just mean the city where i live#so why cant we apply the same to lovers?#mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again#ok#done now
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#Happy Lunar New Year!#Tiny dragons for the Year of the Dragon#dragon#pokemon#gible#goomy#dreepy#jangmo-o#bagon#dratini#frigibax#axew#deino#larvitar#pseudo-legendary#Trying out a new brush I really like#I never understood why they made Beldum a psudeo-legendary but not Axew
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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"The real point of Hbomberguy's video is being lost because people would rather clown on James specifically!" Nah man I think we're all just shocked by the depths of this particular example, I promise people are very much able to care about two things at once.
#hbomberguy#this is quickly becoming annoying to me as a takeaway#I haven't seen many comments that indicate they didn't get the point of the video about sourcing info and misinfo#so this feels like ppl wanting to act superior because They Understood It Better Than Others ngl
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its funny because Percy has been spiraling ever since pjo and whenever he has a particularly bad episode you have other characters actively worried about it and you think to yourself surely they're going to intervene, surely someone is going to talk to him about it, and then like no one ever does lol
#I STILL HAVE NOT READ CHALICE#so maybe something's there#but I think Jason in boo was the closest thing we got (percy initiated the conversation)#but like... I still dont think Jason recognized/understood the extent to which percy was spiraling#and to be fair Jason was not present in tartarus so he wouldn't truly know but like#I dont think annabeth's approached the topic with him#at least not on a non superficial level#or if she did it happened offscreen#anyways#if percy deflects or loses it or whatever you can't say the warning signs weren't there lmao#pjo#percy jackson#mine
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Middle school bakudeku was like, Horrible bully x Freaky stalker wasn't it because holy shit Deku really was freaky as hell-
The guy knows his moves, stance, food habits, SHOWER AND SLEEP ROUTINE??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN-
To be clear, the Smash comics aren't Canon canon. This is just another way of understanding bkdk's dynamic and progression.
#IZUKU YOU REALLY ARE A FUCKING FREAK WHAT THE HELL#I wish ppl rlly understood and saw just how crazy this boy is#in middle school deku wanted bkg in every way like- horribly- very very questionably#and bkg's violently fought back and also very horribly bullies him#while they were also childhood friends before that#what the absolute fuck is wrong with them#bkdk the massive red flags you are oh my god-#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#bakudeku#bkdk
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I recently got a bunch of TNG novels at a charity shop and this passage from the FIRST BOOK is making me feel craaaaazy
#the characterisations are all over the place because they were still finding their footing on the show itself :') like riker is rly insecure#and kind of a hardass???#and picard is a little TOO standoffish#but it makes me appreciate this all the more cos im like Oh but they understood from the get-go that geordi like. ADORES Data#😭😭😭😭#anyhoo. sorry for not drawing. i was doing some commission stuff.... and also it just takes me forever to motivate#myself to draw anyway. that tag got cut off awkwardly. but you get it.#Data Soong#geordi laforge#daforge#star trek#tng#mwah mwah love ya
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Funniest bit of the dnd movie is Xenk clearly being an NPC the DM introduced for lore and plot purposes who’s a competent fighter because of course he is, his reputation and backstory require it. But whoopsies the DM made him too powerful, the whole party likes him, and now they want him to come with to fight the BBEG which will completely and utterly fuck up the encounter balance
So instead of there being any actual plot reason he can’t join Xenk just says “I can’t. This is something only you can do.” And then walks off, never to interact with the party again because the DM just knows those little shits will find a way to use their OP creation against them
#but this movie was fun! clearly understood and had fun with its source material without being pure fan service#like don’t get me wrong there was fan service and jokes but I feel like even not knowing dnd you could enjoy it#I also really liked how you could tell what each spell was as it was cast even if they weren’t named! my wizard main self was so excited lol#xenk yendar#dungeons and dragons#honor among thieves#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dungeons and dragons movie#dnd#idk what we’re tagging this with gang so I went with all of it
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i have lots of flaws but i do at least take a fair amount of comfort knowing that, if i were a customer NPC in a fast food/retail management game, i would be one of the chill early-level ones that can wait a super long time before they start getting impatient, and you breathe a sigh of a relief when you see them show up in a harder level
#buny text#was standing in line at popeyes today and they were SUPER busy and the staff couldn't even take my order for a while#and the guy at the till was like 'so sorry for the wait we'll get to you soon i promise' and i was like hey no worries 👍#and he gave me this look that i understood from my own time in retail to mean 'thank you for being fucking normal'#there was nobody else behind me cuz i showed up at the very end of the lunch rush i think#and in that moment i just pictured like. a lil timer wheel above my head that was still green and mostly full lmao#i love being nice to retail workers it's so fun
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i like to think that the tentacles in dungeon meshi are kinda like mushrooms or perhaps even lichens in that they are very confusing to identifty and have 200 completely different species that look very similar ("delicious brown tentacle vs BROWN DEATH TENDRIL") and you need to be an Expert to determine the difference between some of the more confusing species and some of them have like 300 different sexes and some of them are actually composite creatures composed of several different species and somehow yeast is involved and also no one really knows half of whats going on with them and in like 50 years someones gonna figure out that uhm actually these are two completely different types of tentacle creatures that arent related like at All they jusf happen to look similar and oh btw that one common house mold is actually a tentacle
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#i dont know enough about lichens to go into detail they confuse the fuck outta me#i love how the wikipedia page uses the words#'was UNDERSTOOD to be...'#'in 2016 research revealed a NEW PARTNER a yeast'#they sound like fucked up little guys#(looking at tentacle porn) huh i wonder about the scientific research on these guys#like it would explain how theres just So Many Types and its just a fucking mess every time they appear onscreen#oh sorry you thought this was a common docile soecies of tentacle that happens to be delicious but its ACTUALLY the voracious Sex Tenta
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Basically, my philosophy around disability fakers is: I would rather a thousand people fake a disability than have one disabled person suffer without care, aids, compassion, or any help.
#disability#disability advocacy#and there's a difference not many people seem to recognize between faking and realizing you don't have [x] problem...#...such as realizing you don't have [x] disorder because it is instead [y] disorder...#...or you haven't completely understood your care needs/your symptoms/what helps you...#...and some people see ANY change in your understanding of your disability as proof of maliciously faking...#...when i suppose in my personal experience people don't *maliciously* fake disability...#...i'm not saying it could never happen but that i don't think it's the *only* thing motivating people called fakers#i just think (like most everything) this is complex and nuanced because it's a *human* experience#like for me personally i /know/ i still have a lot to learn about my disabilities...#...like... i realized recently that my hands shouldn't be in AGONY when warm water is ran over them when it's SLIGHTLY cold inside or out...#...and i realized that i likely have a Noticable limb difference that needs checking out. does this sound like i'm faking...#...or that maybe i just didn't really explore my own needs and body because of a variety of factors?#i can assure you it is because i haven't really thought before about how i deserved to understand how to best help myself
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The perfect video
#simon and garfunkel#simon & garfunkel#dude#this is so awesome#I can’t even fathom bro#groovyposting#I don’t even like at the zoo#I think it’s their worst song I’m an at the zoo hater it’s the only skip on bookends in my opinion#but this video was a mystical experience#I understood it bro
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youtube shorts is just tiktok without being on the app the amount of "i'm a [qualification] and [misinformation]" could make one turn their skin inside-out in protest. "i'm a board-certified OB-GYN & it's only been about the last hundred years that women have actually experienced menopause. We didn't live long enough to experience it" how can you be so incredibly wrong about something so integral to your practice. King of the Hittites Hattusilis III was told in 1250 BCE that his sister was too old to reproduce at age 50+. Aristotle wrote in the 4th century BCE that women stopped menstruating between ages 40 to 50, common menopause ages today still. i cannot begin to tell you how 4th century & 1250 BCE don't really count as "the last hundred years" unless that -s is doing a lot of heavy lifting. waiter waiter more misinformation laws.
#do they just be making anybody an ob-gyn these days.#what ''board'' is certifying this. your car's dashboard?#life expectancy for the past millennia was heavily skewed down because surviving infancy was Not Easy#but if you made it past that you could live to your 50s if not later.#we have multiple hypotheses about PREHISTORIC WOMEN'S menopause and how post-reproductive life in humans could have been an#integral part of the life of the tribe with help with child-rearing; gathering; hunting; medicine. like hello.#prehistoric menopausal women GET BEHIND ME [wolf growling]#neigh (blabbers)#sorry. i'm insane. gyno health and everything about periods & menopause is already so little understood & the wider medical body kinda#dgaf about if you keel out in pain from preventable menstrual diseases so if i catch anyone spreading misinformation. i'm going beastmode.
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it wasn't that long ago that i was in a high school math class and yet my eyes have never glazed over faster. i was good at math. i enjoy math. you want the fucking train question? in two minutes? omg i didn't know you were so funny haha
#i dont think i EVER properly understood how to do the train problem#like i mightve done it for one lesson and then never saw it again and happily forgot#the fact that lou ally and murph even tried is astounding#and emily zac and siobhan immediately thinking about the pass stamp is so fair lmao#if i cant do it now i sure as hell cant imagine doing it over a decade out of hs#godspeed intrepid heroes#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#fhjy
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isat doodles in the form of a silly-serious-silly sandwich
#much like my thoughts after finishing sasasap. i reiterate. i would like to pour milk on them and throw them against a wall. and so i do.#in stars and time#isat fanart#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#isafrin#lucabyteart#siffrin#loop#isat#'i never understood this lizard' doodle inspired by user @nerdpiggy's meme compilation. its been living in my brain since i saw it. thanks#ALSO SORRY FOR THE LIKE. CRUMBS . ISAFRIN FANS. ITS NOT MUCH BUT ITS THERE....#isafrin is delightful but the triad of all 3 is where im at bc i neeeeed my ships to have Strain and Stress and Potential Ethical Problems#anyway. rambling. i like them
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