#but i like the idea that he looks more like Roxy than Dirk

[0l-unreliable]

Space Dave sketch page

(Space Trickster Jane has got some transmutation powers, Dave finds that out the hard way)

[zan0tix]

Pleaseeee tell me more about that homescryption au

A little something between you and me and everyone else who happens to look at this post. Im working on a lineup for the four scrybes :D

Roxys design is subject to change and you guys have already seen D1rk. Jane and Jake are in progress!!! (Also D1rk and Harley are the names for dirk and jake but weve been struggling to come up with appropriately fantasical/magical names for Jane and Roxy that align with magnificus and grimora😞 Harley feels old-manish enough that it fits in well… im sure well get there but if anybody has ideas feel free to comment ✌️)

But yes i can tell you more!!! ILL PUT IT ALL UNDER THE CUT THIS POST IS GOING TO BE LONG o7

Working with cyrus repliiku to flesh it out x3 he was the one who got me into the game and im CRAZY NOW!!!!

The four alpha scrybes methods of inscribing cards are that Harley uses his magic blunderbuss and the things he shoots become cards, Roxys cards are the fantasical characters she creates in her stories, Jane will be a detective of death, uncovering how cards die and writing up a casefile in her detective agency about them (might give her a magic magnifying glass. Well see), and D1rk were trying to figure out something with Sburbs captcha card + ghost captcha system like how Po3’s cards are printed from real robots

The students/the scrybes underlings are going to be other homestuck characters or splinters!

D1rks will be the robots (aradiabot, arquius (wanted him to me more unique than just brobot + hal so he gets to be a robot) and jadebot.

Harleys will be jake-ish splinters rather than new characters. Thered be the Adventurer (prospector), the Hunter (trapper/trader), the Sailor (angler), the Ectobiologist (mycologists), and the Actor (woodcarver) and his campaigns would be more Action packed like jakes action movies type stuff hehe

Janes will be the dead trolls, nepeta, equius and feferi. Not much to say besides them being dead lol 😭

And roxys were still figuring out but nerm. Viceroy/Casey, Rose (maybe goobert but they are actually nice and kind to her) and Eridan….(lonely wizard he was banished to the shadow realm for being annoying 😁👍)

Luke Carter is going to be Calliope and Satan in the greater scheme of the daniel mullins-verse will be Caliborn/Lord English because i think itd be very funny for him to just. Be making video games and thats his evil plot. LOL and Sado would be Gamzee. (Will not expand to pony island or the hex this is just clearing up the ending of inscryption)

Kaycee would probably be Aranea but like just some normal girl. Not all that sure abt the OLD_DATA tho ??? Maybe just all the wrong doings Lord English has committed and influenced culminated into the files or the code that brought him into the universe I DUNNO.

Retconning the drawing i did when i first scribbled this AU, i believe when harley turns the other scrybes into preexisting cards d1rk would become a seagull (kingfisher replacement) roxy would become a jaguar (wolf replacement) and jane would become a jackalope (pronghorn replacement) 😁

And the way harley would be defeated would be using his blunderbuss on him with a special bullet instead of film. Po3’s decapitation fulfilled the Dirk prophecy too LOL

I think that of the gameplay/card gimmicks themselves would work basically the same but i might try and come up with more creative homestucky twists on them

Im planning on finishing the designs and making sprites and more mockup screenshots :3

I might write up or draw a comprehensive ref sheet for this au someday but for now heres what weve jotted down 👍

[conceptofjoy]

How did you figure out your classpect? most things point to knight of time for me and i cannot handle having the same classpect as DAVE????? and ur like THE homestuck expert to me (constantly based takes :3) so im curious how u figured urs out cause i am struggling because i have no idea wtf im like and its worded all weird

hmm partially was because i had known the time thing for years before i got back into homestuck but when i re analyzed it, it still held up.

then theres this beast of an analysis. i agree w most of it! i think theres some class stuff that im raising an eye over i guess, tho but over all, its good. i think it should maybe analyze classpects in the relation to the story more rather than characters as individuals if u get what i mean.

i think some classpect r easier 2 glean bc there r other character categories that help if ur able to identify as one of these:

red girl (dave, aradia, arquius, damara/handmaid)

green girl (callie/al, kanaya, jade, porrim, snowman)

pink girl (roxy, meenah/hic, feferi)

blue girl (snowman, vriska, aranea/ mindfang, june, jane, terezi)

puppet (cal) lover which has a pre and post soul-sealing distinction (all dirks, equius, caliborn, and gamzee)

prospit/ derse

if your class falls into the swapped around dancestor groups like how bard and prince got switched for makaras and amporas

and uh… there r others but they are eluding me. you dont have to be a Girl to be in those categories, just have a complex relationship with patriarchy. also some categories have characters that overlap w each other like equius/hal. their red girlness plus exploitation under patriarchy is hella interesting.

so if youre looking at like the green girl area and going oh shit! me for real! then u should look into space. you can relate to the theme of one character or character group and then the actions of a character from a different group. thats a simplified explanation of a classpect, how a person is effected by system of power, and what they do in response to it.

roxy’s class interacting with her pink girlness is why she was the one to kill HIC, and void has ties to the outer gods the fuchsias can interact with.

jane turns red and aradia turns blue when being their most exploited. they revert back when back to their true selves slash colors when freed.

vriska overpowering gamzee was symbolic of her pushing back the rage and or patriarchal themes he represented. light deals with plot while hope and rage deal with reality, those two things are closely intertwined bc they all exist within a story.

[davekat-sucks]

Oooh! I have my own headcanons as well!

John Egbert, movie critic and professional prankster, has a small Youtube Channel named EctoBiologist_143 that does a lot of skit based comedy reviews, think Nostalgia Critic without the scummy business practices. John also tries to code personal birthday card files for his friends, they work half the time, if unzipping the .ath file is recognized on the computer’s software.

Rose Lalonde loves to overanalyze kids media, especially squiddles as it’s a way for her to bond with Jade, and Rose notices quite a lot of references to the deep sea and hidden realms in the media.

Dave Strider, as much as he loves to remix and produce beats, he also learns the drums as a traditional instrument to play band, he made one EP with John Rose and Jade, he says he doesn’t want to publish because it “sounds too normal to be indie” bit really he wants a piece of his second family to keep as a memory. His first family was him and bro, and yeeeeeeah, he doesn’t like puppets, except Randy Feltface.

Jade Harley prefers to be a vegetarian, but her Bec side loves meat, she treats herself to black bean burgers and tofu sausages. Her mostly veggie diet comes from her gardening, making all-organic foods. Her Bec side also makes her droop when she’s near nuclear reactors, that’s why her job is reactor designer and not inspection.

Jane Crocker made an MSPFA called Professional Charlatan, an adventure about a hard-boiled prankster, an Adventuring Dandy and a Populist Ingenious work as a team with intelligensia from Master Kernel to defeat the insidious and undersea work of the MERMAID MOB. It is very obvious this is loosely based on Jane and her friends fighting the Condesce.

Jake English dabbles in the art, and takes from Pablo Picasso’s blue period. Rose has a very psychoanalytical idea for why he likes to draw so many blue landscapes, and round, wavy feminine shapes. Jake also draws Robots, a lot. He even gets commissions to draw corny 1950s sci-fi book covers!

Roxy teaches John how to make code in .ath that does not suck. She and John love to share simple code that range from ripoff arcade games to ascii gifs. She takes a lot of the wine her mom stored to be sold in a wine store she owns. Roxy likes to taste wine, but declines anything more than one glass to drink, modesty is policy!

Dirk Strider works with a lot of felt and soft fabrics. He actually makes quilts as therapy for living on his own for 16 years. He also likes to hang out with Dave, he looks up to Dave and how he turned out even with the worst Dirk in all of Paradox space. Dirk still has a manipulative streak where he tries to subtly convince Dave to binge The Muppet Show with him to grow a tolerance for non-smutty plushes. Dave still can not watch any scene with Gonzo without getting sweaty and tense.

This is a lot of text for 8 characters so if I ever do troll headcanons they are in a separate batch.

[mysoulusesumbrellasinthesun]

I have decided that the Lalondes are Maori and furthermore I am more correct about this than anyone has ever been.

My evidence:

Rose

Engaged in a battle with her mother of who can say the most eloquent (and longest) karakia because she always hated saying them so now tries to continuously one up her mother by being slightly more precise with hers. Dinner is always an hour late because of this.

Despises the insistence of motherhood in Maori folklore (especially ones her mother teaches her) and finds them to be incredibly stifling.

She hates doing kapa haka and hates that women cannot do a full haka, so she puts on a one woman performance herself when she is young during a “ridiculous” matariki celebration her mother was putting on, and did a male haka by herself. Mom found this extremely adorable and insists on playing the video every Matariki, which Rose hates.

Her favorite nursery rhyme growing up was “One Day a Taniwha”

Rose loves taniwha, though she acts like she doesn’t.

On the meteor she wishes she had actually learned about her culture with her mother when she had the chance instead of only engaging with it ironically and feels very separate from the others on the meteor because of it.

After she is on the meteor towards the end of homestuck I think she reconciles her heritage with her lack of motherliness in the idea of women less as mothers but as powerful dangerous people (a la the goddess of death, Hine-nui-te-pō, who kills Maui with her thighs)

She is so annoyed with the lack of taking care of the land when they reach Earth C. She did not really consider Papatuanuku as her mother before but she realizes now after seeing how all the other kids and especially some of the trolls behave, acting like the land is something to be used and discarded she gets extremely annoyed. She, Roxy, and Jade bond over this.

Her mother gave her a Koru pounamu to celebrate her becoming a woman on her first period. She resentented it and refused to wear it, but eventually accepted it and passed it down to Roxy who was overjoyed to receive it.

She instead wears a Hei Tiki pounamu necklace Dave gave to her as a wedding present. She acts aloof about it but anyone who knows her can tell she is deeply moved by the gift. She keeps it on at all times.

Roxy

There is an inherent horror to looking all around you to see that Tangaroa has drowned his mother.

The idea that The Condesce, a colonizer, took over the world and left Roxy stranded on a tiny piece of land with almost none of her people or culture left, and she can never sail out on a waka like her ancestors or a sailboat like the ancestors of her ancestors to see other places, trapped in a tiny select space. It’s a horror I can’t really describe.

Roxy desperately wants to know what tribe she comes from and who she descends from, to find that little bit of her family. She is very quiet on the day she finds out she was produced from herself. 

Roxy misses Papatuanuku, she misses her chance to meet both her mothers before they died. She messages Dirk about this while drunk but he does not fully get it.

As a trans woman, finds the women in Maori mythology and culture to be aspirational figures of power and motherhood.

She thanks the appropriate gods for any food she can scavenge for in her apocalypse but never really has the time to learn a full karakia.

Teaches the carapacians kapa haka, they aren’t very good at it but they do make up for it with enthusiasm

When she enters the session she insists on hongi (sharing breath) with each of her friends. It goes like this:

Dirk: Has been preparing for this for years. Has the whole technique down. Confident cool guy swagger, but not too much, he doesn’t look like he’s trying too hard either. He and Roxy bump their heads together and fall over. This looks ridiculous.

Jake: Roxy explains and leans in to do a hongi with him but he kisses her on both cheeks like he is french. Roxy thinks this is hilarious.

Jane: Needs at least 6 tries to get it right but keeps on insisting on doing it again so she can participate in Roxy’s culture appropriately, and then a couple more times because she keeps failing on purpose to make Roxy laugh. They are both in a fit of giggles by the time she has worked it out and it becomes their standard greeting.

Hal: Is a computer, but Roxy does hold the nose bridge of the glasses up to her face like they are doing a hongi which Hal does appreciate.

Calliope: Gets it right first try!

Goes somewhat crazy hanging out in nature on Earth C. (Where is Roxy? In The Mud. Of course.)

I cannot express in words as well, the sheer euphoria Roxy feels standing on the ground on Earth C. 

[rin-hanarin]

Random dirkjohn headcanons and scenarios... 2!

I might actually do something with these one day. Also APPARENTLY THERE'S A SYMBOL LIMIT ON TUMBLR AND I HIT IT LMAO

Two things: 1) All of my hypothetical scenarios take place on Earth C, 2) There's a lot of fluff here, brace yourselves.

Dirk has a "John is upset" voice and refuses to admit that he does.  He talks softer to him and filters himself more, and Roxy notices it and thinks that it's adorable how mellow and accommodating Dirk is with him.

John meanwhile can read him better than Dirk thinks and knows when he’s bothered by something. He’s trying to distract him with jokes and silly teasing without trying to make him explain himself, he’s just trying to make him comfortable and relax, even if it doesn’t help long term. 

Dirk gets his own place at some point before they start dating because John doesn't like spending too much time in his childhood home, but also thinks that it's awkward to impose on the place Dirk shares with Jake. John is absolutely ecstatic about the idea of decorating a new place while Dirk thinks it's too damn big for the two of them, let alone just him: he's used to a cramped apartment after all. John ends up deciding what goes where for the most part, and Dirk eventually gets into it after seeing his enthusiasm. They argue about dumb shit and Dirk goes on and on about something like couch placement even though he doesn't really care. John doesn't even really live with him at first, but brings posters, clutter items and things like pillows and curtains (blue ones because Dirk mentioned them at some point and he thinks it's funny.) The house gradually starts looking really cozy, and Dirk doesn't need to explain to his guests who's responsible for it. Their friends start bringing him kitchen appliances, comforters and useless things to place on shelves as gifts to John's completely gleeful reaction, and Dirk is just glad to see him happy, even though their friends are making fun of him. It's not their place, but it totally is.

The house eventually gets wired with all sorts of mutual pranks and traps. They let others crash, but it's on them if they set off something they weren't supposed to. Dirk tends to overdo things, and on one hand John enjoys listening to him explain how he came up with a mechanism or how he made it, but on the other you don't just start a prank war with a mechanic who is as resourceful as he is invested in his craft. He doesn't really make anything particularly dangerous, but John just in case walks around half incorporeal.

They accidentally start sharing wardrobe sometimes because of the shared laundry. John likes oversized shirts, so they fit taller Dirk just fine; Dirk's regular clothes aren't that different from John's oversized ones, but he sometimes wears skin tight tanks, so they more or less fit John. Neither of them bat an eye because who cares about shirts, and John is just a little bit embarrassed by people commenting on how close he is with his platonic second best bro. The first best bro is innerly losing his shit when he sees a hat logo on John's shirt or Dirk wearing an unusually comfy sweater, but fortunately (for John) Rose is the one who has to listen to him process that out loud.

Jade completely innocently mentions that she can't tell their smells apart anymore, and John's initial reaction is neutral because duh no shit they live together, and Dirk's innerly freaking out because Rose and Jane are present to hear that and raise eyebrows at him, meaning that Roxy will hear about that, meaning that everyone will hear about that because she can't keep gossip to herself. Dirk, however, is also pleased in a kind of possessive fashion, but no one needs to hear about that.

John joins Dirk and Jake in their friendly-but-totally-competitive sparring sessions one day, set up because they both have way too much energy to burn. Jake gets his ass handed to him because he actually sucks at fighting, Jake's every "strife" with John is more of a game of tag than a fight and they're just having a good time with Dirk as their more than willing witness. Meanwhile Dirk can't consciously land a hit on John, he can neither swing at him nor point a sword at him without his hands failing him because he has no idea how much John can handle, but also because he looks so soft and comfortable and non threatening and Dirk would rather ruffle his hair than hit him. John is kinda flattered by that, but he's also annoyed that Dirk doesn't treat him seriously and assumes that he's too fragile to fight for some reason, both of which are wrong and John fails to see why at first because he'd fight Dirk for many things actually. He ends up taunting and teasing him, but also showing off his incorporeal wind state. He even makes Rose vouch for him and prove that he literally can't be stabbed when he's like that when he learns that Dirk's just worried out of his mind again. Dirk eventually lets himself relax, gets into it and actually starts responding to John's taunts, and John turns it into a chase with a cheeky "catch me if you can." They're being complete clowns with John being a brat and Dirk chasing him with a fucking sword, but they're having a blast, getting handsy with each other sometimes when Dirk briefly catches John before he disappears in a gust of wind with obnoxious cackling. Dirk eventually manages to catch him off guard with some remark and restrain his hands behind his back, pressing the dull side of his blade to his neck, and they're just catching their breaths and chuckling at each other's disheveled states. They kind of lose track of time in the heat of the moment, until Jake decides that he's seen enough flirting for the day and not enough fisticuffs. He loudly clears his throat and calls them out with something like "Nothing warms the heart quite like seeing two stand-up gents frolicking and having a mighty fine time!", to which John and Dirk just awkwardly pull away from each other, all ruff and flustered like their unlabeled relationship doesn't raise any eyebrows on a regular basis anyway. Jake makes it a recurring thing with them and even invites others to their strife sessions to join the peanut gallery. He even manages to convince very unimpressed Dave to join and see that there's no actual fighting going on most of the time and that he doesn't need to worry about John fighting and getting injured by his "Bro", because said bro is scared shitless to actually hurt John and turns their sparring into a rather embarrassing snugglefest.

Dirk sometimes writes down his rhymes, even though he's more used to improv, and John one day finds them and makes him read them with a feeling and passion like poetry because it sounds hilarious (and maybe he likes Dirk's voice a little bit), he even provides piano ambience for him. Dirk actually goes along with it, and John's dying on his keyboard laughing after a particularly dramatic "Yo"s or "Uh"s, which are normally more Dave's style, but Dirk just thought that it'd be a nice addition. Rose is very willing to join them after she one way or another finds out about that, and that's the closest thing to friendly bonding that happens between Rose and Dirk without both of them being way too difficult because they're just Like That.

[pochapal]

I've been following your Umineko readthrough and been interested in a lot of the ways of reading you're employing - I think you've had a lot of insight relatively early into the story. I'm also very drawn to the fannish taxonomic Mode Of Engagement that is classpecting, and wanted to question a little of your classpecting of George - one of the things about him that jumped out from very early on was the ways in which his superficial presentation as a Nice Guy belies the strongest inheritance of Ushiromiya Family Values among the cousins - he looks up to Hideyoshi and Kinzo as businessmen, he defends Rosa's parental rights over Maria, he has dynastic aspirations of his own through homemaking and going out to make his fortune. Given the western fascistic overtones of Kinzo's occult fascination, obsession with the image of western beauty in Beatrice, and the prioritisation of a regimented, patriarchal power structure maintained through violence and fear, this has implications for George's character - and the aspect most closely associated with the charismatic cult of personality in business and empire through homestuck strikes me as Life, not Space - see the condesce, see Jane-as-white-suburbanite in homestuck and of course see anything to do with Jane in postcanon.

that's interesting! i do think there are a lot of george/jane overlaps and i did entertain life!george for a while since a lot of his character shtick is Emulation Of Kinzo's Ideals (kinzo himself is definitely Life by every measurable metric) but the thing that gave me pause is that this version of george clearly isn't real and is a version of himself he struggles to maintain convincingly enough to give himself any real benefits. George The Adult, to use the frameworks from my writeups, is almost certainly a Life player but George The Adult is a paper-thin mask that has no connection to his inner self.

behind the mask we have George The Kid who is much more concerned with establishing his own selfhood/"empire" rather than merely inheriting the ushiromiya system. his primary interest when not playing the cringe heir part is in wooing shannon and a strange jealousy towards the idea that battler is more successful at establishing and forming relationships with he is. i think this bitterness and loneliness extends beyond the Life framework and has more in common with jade harley's Space-esque desperate isolation. in homestuck postcanon we see jade throw herself into forming unhealthy doomed relationships and families with both the davekat and yiffy situations. both george and jade want something that is truly and unconditionally their own more than anything else, even if this desire is expressed in radically different ways. that said, i can very easily see george ending up with a yiffy of his own if shannon had survived lol (failchild with a poor imitation of the ushiromiya ideal supplanted on them abandoned by george when it becomes apparent a lot of his relationship with shannon is an illusory farce).

so much of homestuck's classpect stuff is rooted in the conflict of people emulating the aspects of those they look up to even when they shouldn't (rose's void-esque affinity motivated in part by her relationship with roxy, dirk acting knight-like to emulate his bro, the Rage influence over all the trolls and their aspirations) and i think you can apply that framework to george. the Life stuff is there and is shaping him but less in the sense that this is speaking to Who He Is than it actually is speaking to Who He Thinks He Should Be. my current reading of george is Space (also works as a fun contrast to my read of battler as a Time player) but even if that's not true i do think he's something else wrapped up in a Life player's clothing.

[cadaverousconsumer]

helloooo here are my beta kid headcanons! @icarusshomestuckfan do u remember that one convoersation we had about how i had no headcanons? well i do now!!!!

also im only doing the beta kids rn cause i dont wanna spoil anything for @giggleshitter0

ok chat starting with my main dude

Dave Strider hc!! dave is definitely, at the start at least, very thin but relatively lanky bc of general malnourishment from bro. however i like 2 think that he would become healthier throughout the comic and eventually become a healthy weight for his height. dave i think, if he went 2 school i think people would like him and think he was cool and wanna hang out buttt i think that he wowuld only have a couple good friends like the other beta kids buttt like his irl friends. i think dave definetly learned many domestic chores at a very young age. however i think bro would care about how dave looks, like his style and whatnot, but it would be strictly mandated by bro, with lil room for dave to express himself differently from bro. i think that dave is biracial bc i think roxy is black n dirk is pale asf in a white way.

kk now for our unoffical main character the nicest sigmaest guy john!

John Egbert hc: just clariying i think june egbert iis totally cool and probably canon buttt i personally never rly thought about it b4 getting into the fandom so i have no headcanons for her so here r my headcanons for john. john definitely is on the chubbier smaller side imo. his dad does bake a lot! i think john had a pretty good upbringing and was pretty happy with his bad movies and prank obssession. at school he probably had a couple nerdy friends and tehy were all very close! i dont think he would play dnd buttt if he did i bet thats where he would meet his friends, stranger things style. john is a classic nerd and people like him bc hes so nice and very considerate. john likes basketball n has fun playing it but isnt very good. i think john is half brazilian bc i think jake is brazilian but alpha kids are for another day haha. john has definetly broken his glasses a few times tripping over things. i think hes a bit clumbsy lol.

now onto our goth queennnn rose

Rose Lalonde hc: rose definitely had a rough childhood 2 but i think her mom took more care of her then bro did even if it was only 2 play the role of motherhood for her passive aggressive tendencies. she definitely stopped doing anything (other than vacuuming lol) once rose was old enough to do it herself. i think roses hair is bleached and straightened to oblivion and when she gets older shes defintely gonna wish she hadnt done it so much when she was younger. i think at school many people would have wanted to be her friend but she prefered more solitude, for wizard fanfics and eldritch god study. i think rose is shorter and curvier, (i def like the idea of her being shorter than kan) and a bit darker than dave. she started her intensive makeup routine in the hopes of attracting her mothers attention negatively, but with no luck. however she kept up with it because she found she liked the repetitivness of putting it on each morning, as well as the fact that it fit her overall aesthetic.

now for everyones fav doggie girl, jade!

Jade Harley hc: i love jade i think she is sooo cute. jade had an interesting childhood, being raised by a god level dog. i dont think it was necessarily bad just... very different from the other kids. i imagine she was left unattended a lot, but bec would always be aware of when to teleport in 2 save her. her hair is very long and has never really been cut officially due 2 living in the woods. jade is completely homeschooled and has nevre left the island. i think jade is rather petite and pretty thin overall... i imagine dogs probably arent the best at nutrition for humans haha. even tho jade doesnt know any kids her age in person i think she probably had many online friends and spent a lot of time online, playing games, watching videos, and just messing around. i think she learned bass from a youtube video. jade is also half brazilian cause jake

well those r my shitty headcanons

[daycare-days]

Roxy: Jane? What are you doing in the fireflies closet?

Jane: Nothing! Just getting John after he wandered off.

Hal: Looks like you were doing more than just that, what’s in the box?

Jane: It’s nothing. I’m putting it back and that’s that.

Roxy: Aaaare you sure you wanna do that?

Jane: Yes!

Jane: ...why?

Roxy: I dunno, it just looks like it could be fun you know! And you know sharing and all that stuff is important right?

Jane: Well! Yes! But-

Roxy: Do you even know what it is?

Jane: An..Ou-ie-jah board, I think-- it doesn’t matter I know it’s not ours! It doesn’t matter if I know what it is, or if it looks maybe a little spooky...it’s not ours to play with.

Hal: Wait did you say ouija?

Jane: Yes but-- Hey!

Hal: This is an ouija board - my dad made a whole frenchfries out of one of these! 

Roxy: Franchise?

Hal: Yeah that. It lets you talk to ghosts and stuff, real spooky.

Hal: In the movies sometimes they use this to solve mysteries too.

Roxy: mysteries hmmmmm?

Hal: Oh yeah, loads. But I guess if we really should put it back then what can we do right?

Jane: Well...I don’t know...

Roxy: Janie, Jane, Jaaaanie just think about it. You could become like a ghost detective!

Jane: Even if I did want to open it, which we shouldn’t Hal, we’re not allowed! And if we get caught snooping we’re going to be in big trouble.

Roxy: So we find a way to do it without getting caught!

Jane: And how exactly are we going to do that?

Dirk: I have an idea.

[Spooky Special pt.3]

[yanderes-galore]

Hi, hope you're having a nice day!! May I ask for some headcanons for the Platonic Yandere Alpha Kids, or just Jake and Roxy if you'd prefer, with a Reader that REALLY likes dolls and ends up sending them a doll of themselves? Like, sending them a doll that's almost identical to them(the kids!) and a little note with it, apologizing if the doll looks weird or doesn't look like their friend at all

Sure! I'll do a little thing for them :) I just did two since that's my max. I hope I interpreted this right- I did not use Roxy's typing style for this, I still struggle with all of the HS typing quirks lol.

Yandere! Platonic! Jake English + Roxy Lalonde with darling who makes dolls

Short Concept/Reactions

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Tame yandere themes, Dubious companionship, Slight possessive friend themes, This wasn't as yandere as I wanted it-, Invasion of privacy, Swearing.

Jake English 🔫

Jake has always been one for more exhilarating activities.

To him, it's all about adventure, firearms, and brawling.

Jake no doubt has you friended on Pesterchum and is close to you there.

You're one of Jake's only friends besides Jane, Roxy, and Dirk.

As a result he'd pretty close with you.

Somehow you two managed to share photos of each other which is how you got a reference photo of him.

That or you two have seen and spoken with each other through Dream Bubbles.

Really anyone can meet anyone through Dream Bubbles-

Either way, Jake isn't normally a doll person.

Although he takes interest when you mention your little hobby.

When you say you make dolls and enjoy doing it, Jake's just happy you're happy.

He may not understand the appeal but he likes to see you so passionate.

It's a good luck on his best friend!

Jake's obsession is really small at this point.

In this case he's obsessed with the idea of being your closest friend.

He wants to be the one you have the strongest bond to.

The moment you tell him you have a gift for him through Pesterchum, he's interested.

A gift? For him?

He's actually quite excited.

If you're making a gift for him, you must really care for him....

When you send it to him he waits eagerly.

The moment the box arrives with a note from his best friend, Jake tears into the gift.

It surprises him to see a doll in the box.

Not just any doll... a hand sewn doll of him.

Jake's left speechless for a moment before quickly reading the letter.

It's of you apologizing if you didn't get his features right...

The letter even says you made it because you see him as such a good friend.

He's your good friend...

He's over the moon!

While Jake may not be one for dolls, he can make an exception.

You've put so much effort into this!

You've put so much effort all for him!

Jake actually finds himself dropping the letter and quickly snatching up the doll.

He holds it to his chest for a moment before finding somewhere safe to put it.

Jake's definitely going to cherish this gift.

After all, it's a sign of your friendship!

This doll must mean you care for him as much as he does you...

As Jake puts the doll in a safe place, he vows he'll make it up to you.

When you two manage to meet in person Dream Bubble or not, he'll show you just how much he cherishes your friendship!

He can do so much more than just a gift... he'll just have to think of what.

Either way, Jake would happily accept a doll from his darling even if dolls aren't his thing.

Anything made by his best friend he'll cherish for as long as he lives... he just cares for you that much!

If anyone tried to take such a cherished gift away from him may quickly be met with a gun to the face.

"Oh, I loved the gift you sent me! The craftsmanship is exquisite... you've really outdone yourself! I'm happy you thought of me, I'm so lucky to have you as MY friend."

Roxy Lalonde🍷

Roxy most likely knows you through similar means as Jake.

She speaks to you on Pesterchum and sometimes sees you in Dream Bubbles (Not often).

While Roxy is nearly always drunk when speaking to you, she's very pleasant to talk to.

Roxy and you engage in casual chat often, sometimes even including Jane.

Roxy is a bit more invasive with her obsession compared to Jake.

She still sees you two as "bestest friends" bit also... uses her hacker skills to get on your PC and uses appearifying tech to take small things of yours-

She can't help it!

She just likes to know all about her friend and have something of yours to keep-

There's no doubt you two share pictures with each other.

She already has a ton of you but wouldn't mind a few more.

It's dubious on if Roxy would be one for dolls, but I think she doesn't mind a few.

However, Roxy finds the fact you love to make dolls adorable.

In her eyes it's such a cute hobby.

It really fits her best friend.

When you eventually tell Roxy you have a gift for her and ask her to appearify it, Roxy's interested.

A gift? She likes where this is going....

So, she does, and what she receives is easily THE best thing EVER.

Inside the box you prepared for her is a note beside a doll.

A doll of her that she can tell you made yourself... with your own hands.

What's even better?

You included wizard and cat elements, all with a pink aesthetic because she adores them.

You paid attention to her interests....

If that doesn't say you're perfect friends, what does?

Roxy is essentially fan girling at the gift you gave.

IT'S SO DAMN CUTE.

Roxy no doubt keeps it next to the other stolen items she's gotten from you.

She's convinced you two were meant to be the closest of friends after that gift.

You spent so much effort.

Next time she sees you she's going to smother you in affection.

You'll drown in it.

She barely even sees the letter before she's flinging herself back to Pesterchum to ramble about how grateful she is.

Your Pesterchum notifications keep pinging with her trying to correct her spelling mistakes while telling you how much she adores the gift.

She's so happy you're friends.

You have no idea how much you mean to her... she'd do anything for her best friend.

"OMG the gift is PERFECT. You made that? Really? All by yourself and for ME? Holy shit, dude! That's amazing! Fuck, I'm so lucky to have you as a friend...!"

[skips-is-asleep]

What Your Favorite Sollux Ship Says About You

I swear ive been working so hard on Space Solkat, but ive had this idea in my head for well over a year and just decided i might as well make a post about it

This is all in good fun and jokes, but if you dont want your fav ship being critisized pls dont read this, just click off lmao

AraSol: You’ve been in the fandom for a very long time and/or you love relationships that just seamlessly work together, ships that Make Sense and are right there with no subtext and you love both of these characters and want them to be happy. This is a very classic ship and they are literally perfect for each other whether you read it pale or flushed

SolTav: You love nerdy boys, you love ships with characters that have similar interests but near opposite personalities, and you also love crack shipping

Solkat: This is no hate to arasol truthers, but if you prefer mlm ships, this is the sollux ship that makes the most sense/is the best. it has the most feel good potential. You understand/love both the characters very well, but you also love the spice that their dynamic brings

SolNep: You like opposites attract and you also like ships that have a gimmick. She lays on his keyboard and chews his wires, and also brightens his day and cracks at his grumpy boy exterior. Maybe you like Nepkat but don’t like the canon baggage where he’s mean to her

SolKan: There’s a very high likelihood that you ship them pale (correct) and like ships that have really good banter potential. You also want Sollux to dress up fancy but need an logical excuse for it. If you don’t ship them pale, youre a lesbophobe

SolRezi: Very similar to solkan, you likely ship them pale and you likely love their chemistry with each other, the wit they both have bounces off each other seamlessly and they are excellent at creating bits with each other that go too far. The big difference here is that you like when shit goes CRAZY

SolVris: You’re either a contrarian/crack shipper just for the sake of, you like fixer-upper relationships with angst, or youre a lesbophobe

Solquius: You’ve been in this fandom for a long time, you really really like pitch ships. or youre an equius apologist, or all three. Either way, you love looking into things that are supposed to not be taken seriously and reading too deeply

SolGam: You like opposites attract, and you prefer mlm ships, you could not get more opposite than with this two, and you think it would be really funny if they loved each other actually

Erisol: You’re a veteran homestuck, you used to/still like yaoi or youre an eridan apologist (I say this as all three)

SolFef: You love the ships that the canon gives you, you love sunshine girl and grumpy boy pairings, and im willing to bet that either youre straight, or you think one of them is straight (wrong)

JuneSol: You love crack shipping, but also you love over-analzying canon text

DaveSol: You really really like dave and want him to date a version of himself from the mirror dimension, and im also willing to bet that you only really ship this to make an OT3 with karkat work

RoseSol: I’m willing to bet this is pale again, and im gonna be real, this is davesol but better, yall are sleeping on this ship

JadeSol: You love ships with potential, and also really really want the hc that Sollux likes girls with long hair to be true/believe wholeheartedly that it is true

SolRox: You love ships with gimmicks, they are tech buddies! (I do not know the first thing about roxy ill be honest)

DIrkSol: You like dirk, and don’t really like the other ships he’s in, Sollux skates by because, of the people to ship dirk with, Sollux is probably the meanest and wittiest in that roster. No one would fight with Dirk the way Sollux would, wake up

If you ship JaneSol or JakeSol, you like crackshipping, or you read really really deep into the dialogue jake has with erisolsprite

[abjectimpulse]

details for helmsman

so, some people have told me that they'd like to see detail posts for my pieces. zooms on some of the details, and a description of why i drew what i drew. so here we go, starting with this one.

every one of my pieces has a name that i refer to it by internally. the name of this piece is 'helmsman'. care to guess why?

the idea behind this one is a sort of AU where the game never happened, and dirk and roxy remained trapped as the last two people on earth. dirk eventually manages to kill enough of condy's drones to fashion a sort of spaceship from the scrap parts for him and roxy to try and find life elsewhere, anywhere.

however, since the ship is made of troll technology, it requires a helmsman.

hal, with his two uranium powered power supplies, and his already existing ports, is the only being that they can possibly use to power it.

i debated for a while if it was going to be a willing sacrifice (more for roxy's good than dirks, probably) or if it would be an unwilling sacrifice - dirk forcing hal in and wiring him up without his consent.

but in the end, i decided it didn't matter. it's up to viewer interpretation.

there's two main wires plugged into his lower power supply, and the two wires invading his mouth are internally plugged into the upper power supply. the power supplies are burning out, providing the power required. there's too much power flowing through him and he was not made to withstand this. he's not leaving this alive.

i tried to convey that with the overwhelming bright, toxic red color. the color of skin around an infected wound. so much more bright and saturated that it should be, it's obvious that there's something wrong.

the neat shibari bondage of wires is absolutely not needed - but i liked the imagery of it. being bound and suspended, almost as if he's something that should be looked at and admired while he's in such distress.

this piece was mainly drawn because i love the idea of a helmsman - the inherent body horror, the forced sacrifice and use. but the wire-y fleshy part... wasn't really my thing. so i adapted it a little bit. also i'm obsessed with hal, so the subject is obvious.

the themes of this piece are sacrifice, (obviously) being used - possibly to a bad end, (just because they hook hal up doesn't mean it's going to work) and a sort of helplessness. it's painful and it's awful for hal, but there's nothing he can do other than endure the pain and hope it was worth something in the end. but he'll never know, if it was fruitful or not. he'll never know if his sacrifice meant anything or if it was pointless.

anyways that's why this piece is labeled as a 'vent' piece in my mind. lots of negative feelings of being used by the people you love and wondering if it will all be worth it. being used and hoping that it will be worth it.

most of my pieces have music that goes with them, and the song for this piece is:

drones - grandson

[bluescribble]

I started to rizz up Hal and somehow it came to the topic of flirtlarping with Roxy, which gave some insight into her situation concerning the RPing she does with him.

Like, we know to a certain extent that she does semi-flirt with AR as a way to cope with her situation, however it may not be for the sole reason of compensating her unrequited crush on Dirk prior to the game. It isn't known how intense it is (by that I mean, if it becomes salacious or not, but I personally think not, or not too much, she has a tendency to hint at her important feelings in roundabout ways to not make a statement that big of a deal.) But then I think, Roxy really is RPing as a way to look forward to something other than her basic needs (eating, drinking, hygiene etc...) and may have had to have that kind of conversation with AR who tried to help her in his while manipulative, also with what was among his capacities. He must have noticed her addiction, and I like to imagine her subconsciously talking to AR's handle to avoid doing something she might regret later or just as part of her routine to give more meaning into her life. Even if it is, well, fake. It isn't shown when it really started, but it's possible that it began closely after he was created, when she was 13 years old when she figured out that AR could indeed speak indefinitely.

It really brings things up in perspective, as 4 kids stranded in the middle of nowhere of the post-apocalyptic Earth, even if it "might never go anywhere" she has to rely on what little fun she can get. Honestly I'm surprised the comic hasn't hinted anything with Jane too, since she doesn't seem to mind his presence. AR is shown to be comfortable with Roxy during a pesterlog (idk which one it is i'll link later maybe) when she sent the virus by accident and he explains how he feels his feelings as a machine and exposes Dirk's future confession to Jake once they all enter the game.

Also I like to think AR was lowkey sweet to her (but it's AR), while still being an aloof asshole about it, just like he did above (minus the overt flirting.) I always wondered how it all began honesty. It's a great character AI lol. It's kind of a mess but you get the idea.

TL;DR : AR and Roxy might have gone through a kinda sweet conversation when they decide the parameters of their roleplaying, exposing common Homestuck trauma and angst.

[pesterloglog]

Gamzee Makara, John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Jake English, Jade Harley

Candy, page 15

GAMZEE: OoOpS mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

JOHN: oops???

ROXY: its fine gamz

ROXY: accidents happen

ROXY: um

ROXY: hey thx everyone for joining me today

ROXY: wow now that im up here its like

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i have no idea what to say

ROXY: and i guess thats cuz there IS nothing to say

ROXY: theres no words to describe how i felt about dirk strider

ROXY: and even tho he left a note that had hella words in it

ROXY: they might as well have been sayin nothing

ROXY: which is just like dirk i guess

ROXY: to leave us with a load of bullshit and no idea why he did what he did

ROXY: so im just gonna say that

ROXY: im glad that he was in my life

ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more eloquent than me

DAVE: hey guys

DAVE: wanna apologize in advance cuz this is about to get a lil real

DAVE: realer than that three quarters of a corpse im standing about two feet from right now

DAVE: i mean i totally hate to ruin everyones mood on a day where weve gathered to think deep thoughts about how one of us just went and fucking offed themselves

DAVE: not like were gonna be stumbling through our lives constantly experiencing intrusive thoughts about this specific event or anything

DAVE: hey remember what our good pal dirk looked like with no head

DAVE: p hard to forget since getting decapitated was like his third favorite hobby

DAVE: so its not so much the body thats the problem but the sorta

DAVE: existential realization of finality i guess

DAVE: though i aint gonna lie the bodys starting to stink

DAVE: sorry all that shit i just said was a load of absolute bull meant to deflect from the fact that im pretty shook about this

DAVE: i used to do that a lot

DAVE: like basically every time i opened my mouth

DAVE: most of you know this but i had a kinda shitty childhood

DAVE: not gonna go into details but

DAVE: long story short it was technically my good ol bro-dad heres fault

DAVE: not this specific version of him

DAVE: the one i grew up with was a

DAVE: a

DAVE: he was

DAVE: he was just an absolute bastard no offense to the dead

DAVE: yeah ok sure he taught me a ton of shit that if were being generous was in theory useful

DAVE: but he didnt give a single solitary shit about raising a well adjusted kid

DAVE: or

DAVE: raising a kid in general

DAVE: i was more like his disciple

DAVE: and all that mattered was his grand design or wtf ever

DAVE: and i know dirk struggled with

DAVE: you know

DAVE: the idea that he could eventually become that kind of person

DAVE: or even worse that he was somehow cosmically fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to prevent it

DAVE: thats prolly how he managed to off himself in the first place considering how the mechanics of god tier works

DAVE: maybe hed been struggling with that the whole time weve been here on earth c

DAVE: who knows with him

DAVE: he was always so inside his own head i cant even imagine what insane train of thought led him to decide that this was his only option

DAVE: but i dont think hed want us beating ourselves up about it

DAVE: or torturing ourselves trying to figure out what it fucking meant

DAVE: esp jake jane and roxy

DAVE: he loved you guys and wouldnt do anything to hurt you

DAVE: well not intentionally i mean

DAVE: anyway all that shit about my bro

DAVE: im over that

DAVE: like as much as you can get over it

DAVE: theres a subconscious response to certain stimuli you cant exactly rewire

DAVE: but the conscious part of my brain is all like

DAVE: shit dude

DAVE: i feel great

DAVE: wtf is hypervigilance??

DAVE: i love being alive and having all these friends who care about me and dont beat the shit out of me every day of my life

DAVE: etc

DAVE: and part of thats cause i got to be friends with dirk

DAVE: it was great getting to know this rad version of my childhood guardian who wasnt completely batshit insane

DAVE: and like just chill with him

DAVE: shoot the shit and freestyle or debate dumb crap without it being a federal fucking issue

DAVE: and more than that he treated me like i was on the level with him

DAVE: he let me give him shit for being a pretentious blowhard every day of his life

DAVE: which i did

DAVE: but despite that i

DAVE: i looked up to him

DAVE: the way i always felt like i should have been looking up to my bro

DAVE: the way i WANTED to look up to my bro but couldnt

DAVE: dirk taught me so much shit i didnt know i needed from him

DAVE: i mean picking up dirks opinions was unavoidable if you ever hung out with him considering he never shut his fucking mouth

DAVE: but im glad he didnt

DAVE: he taught me about combat

DAVE: philosophy

DAVE: life

DAVE: and im sure had he not killed himself the literal day i was finally gonna ask him romantic advice

DAVE: he wouldve taught me about love too

DAVE: so in the end

DAVE: i really got no idea how the fuck im supposed to feel right now

DAVE: but thats probably ok right

DAVE: like its ok

DAVE: to not know how to feel when someone dies

DAVE: its ok to not have all the answers

DAVE: i wish dirk were still alive so i could tell him that

DAVE: but hes not

DAVE: so

DAVE: i guess thats all i got to say about that

ROXY: anyone else have a eulogy theyd like to give

ROXY: i think the best way we can honor dirks memory at this point

ROXY: is to spew an untold number of words into the void

ROXY: as many as we fuckin can

GAMZEE: WhAt’S uP oN tHiS mOsT rIgHtEoUs AnD fRoWnY Of DaYs My BiTcHeS. :’o(

KARKAT: OH MY GOD

KARKAT: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY, GAMZEE.

GAMZEE: HaHaHaHa YoU sTiLl GoT iT bRoThEr.

GAMZEE: mY mOtHeRfUcKeR oF cOmEdY’s In ThA pRaYbLoCk! ThAt MiRtHfUl NoIsE yOu HoLlEr StIlL sLaPs My MaNg.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT A FUCKING JOKE.

GAMZEE: NiNjAs AnD gEnTlEhOeS!

GAMZEE: We GaThEr Up At ThIs ShRiNe Of WoRsHiP tO wHaTeVeR fAlSe IdOlS oR mEsSiAhS tHeSe HoMiEs GeT tHeIr DeVoTiOn On FoR.

GAMZEE: BuT tHaT’s Ok, BeCaUsE wE’rE mOtHeRfUcKiN uNiFiEd ToDaY, nO mAtTeR wHaT oUr BaD aNd DiFfErEnT bElIeFs SaY aT uS tO oUr PiEtY pAnS.

GAMZEE: We CoMe In CeLeBrAtIoN oF tHe LiFe! :o)

GAMZEE: aNd DeAtH. :o(

GAMZEE: Of ThE oNe AnD oNlY, a TrUlY cHoIcE pIeCe Of MaN-bItCh WhAt WhOm I hArDlY eVeR kNeW:

GAMZEE: tHe DiRkStEr.

KARKAT: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

GAMZEE: ThEn, YoU mIgHt Be Up AnD wOnDeRiNg, WhAt PlAcE hAvE i GoT aLl OrAtInG oN tHe SuBjEcT oF tHe LeGeNd Of ThIs FiNe FeLlOw?

GAMZEE: tHaT’s A gOoD qUeStIoN mY mIrThFuL bRoThErS.

GAMZEE: i MaY nOt Be AlL uP aNd LeArNeD aBoUt HiS lIfE, bUt I’vE gOt DeEp SpIrItAl CoNnEcTiOnS tO hIs DeAtH.

GAMZEE: It JuSt So HaPpEnEd ThAt FaTe BrOuGhT mE tO hIs DoOrStEp On ThE vErY dAy ThAt He WeNt AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg ChOkEd It OfF aT tHe NeCk.

GAMZEE: oNe Of ThE mOsT sPiRiTuAlLy AwAkEnInG mOmEnTs In My LiFe...

GAMZEE: In SuCh A sHoRt TiMe He TaUgHt Me So MuCh.

GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.

GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.

GAMZEE: HoNk!

GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd WiNg It!

GAMZEE: YoU eVeR wAkE uP aNd SiT dOwN tO dRoP a FaT oNe In ThE lOaD gApEr, BuT yOuR fLeSh BoDy JuSt AiN’t ReAdY tO gO aNd DoOk It OuT yEt?

GAMZEE: tHaT’s WhAt LiFe WaS lIkE fOr ThE d-MaN.

GAMZEE: A mAn BoRn WiTh A pUrPoSe. A pLaN.

GAMZEE: bUt ThE wIcKeD wAyS oF tHiS wOrLd StOlE tHaT aWaY fRoM hIm...

ROXY: WOW WASNT THAT GREAT FOLKS!

ROXY: WOW JUST WOW I KNEW THIS GUY WOULDNT LET US DOWN

ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL JUST SO *PERFECT*

ROXY: ANYTHING MORE WOULD ONLY DAMPEN THIS PERFECT MEMORY HE GAVE US!

ROXY: TAKE A BOW GAMZEE AND THEN OH YEAH THE EXITS THAT WAY!

GAMZEE: hOoOoOoOoOnK.

ROXY: (hey dude can u get up there and say somethin as like...)

ROXY: (a palate cleanser?)

JAKE: Gulp! Uh...

ROXY: (he was your best bro! come on man surely u got somethin in ur heart to say)

JAKE: Oh... Okay.

ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn!

ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our dear departed buddy

JOHN: (oh for fuck’s sake.)

JOHN: uhh, hi guys!

DAVE: hey

KARKAT: I SEE THAT EVEN YOU COULDN’T BEAR GAMZEE’S ASININE, BRUTAL AND 100% NONCONSENSUAL ASSAULT ON YOUR LISTEN CRATERS, AND ALSO THE BASIC DECENCY WHICH SAPIENT BEINGS APPARENTLY OWE TO ONE ANOTHER ON THIS PLANET.

JOHN: no, um, actually i listened to the entire thing.

JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived without.

JOHN: i was just worried... because you didn’t come back.

JOHN: dave, are you ok?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: well no

DAVE: but its ok to not be ok about this specific thing i think

DAVE: so for once i think im having like

DAVE: a totally unironically normal emotional reaction to a thing

DAVE: which loops around back to being ok

DAVE: in fact im probs the okayest ive ever been objectively

JOHN: are you SURE?

KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.

KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.

JOHN: hmm.

JOHN: because i was thinking...

JOHN: do you... want me to go back?

DAVE: go

DAVE: back??

JOHN: with my retcon powers.

JOHN: i could go back and stop him.

DAVE: dude

KARKAT: JOHN!

JOHN: what!

KARKAT: DO YOU NOT HAVE AN INCH OF GODDAMN SENSE IN THAT THICK FUCKING SKULL OF YOURS?

JOHN: what!!!

DAVE: john

DAVE: come on what are my powers

JOHN: ummm... time travel?

DAVE: so you dont think i wouldve already done that if i thought it was a good idea

JOHN: well ok yeah, obviously.

JOHN: but if you DID do it we wouldn’t even know right now because it would’ve just made a new timeline where dirk didn’t kill himself. that’s how time travel works, right?

DAVE: ehhh well actually

JOHN: but!

JOHN: if i retcon it...

JOHN: then it’s like it never even happened!

JOHN: we wouldn’t have had this horrible funeral at all.

DAVE: i dunno dude thats

DAVE: a little fucked up actually

JOHN: you think so?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy

DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did

DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision

DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.

JADE: dave!!! roxys wondering where you are

DAVE: oh yeah be right there

JADE: what about you karkat? you coming??

KARKAT: YES! GOD!

KARKAT: CAN’T A MAN STAND ON A MOIST AND DREARY PIECE OF RELIGIOUS PROPERTY TO HELP CONSOLE HIS MAIN BRO?!

KARKAT: JESUS FUCK, GOD FORBID WE UPSET THE CAREFULLY ORCHESTRATED FUNERAL PROGRAMMING WHICH JUST FEATURED A SEGMENT WHEREIN A DEEPLY UNPOPULAR CLOWN PISSED HIMSELF IN FRONT OF THE CLAMORING PAPARAZZI!

JADE: oh lord... you dumb baby

JADE: karkat it looks to ME like youre the one third wheeling dave and johns poignant brotimes

JADE: so why dont you get your butt on over here???

KARKAT: ARGH... FINE!

DAVE: john

DAVE: i get what you were trying to do

DAVE: but

DAVE: its ok dude

DAVE: im ok

JOHN: that’s weird...

JOHN: it was working just the other day.

ROXY: lmao john its just me

ROXY: doin ok up there b?

JOHN: i’m fine!!!

JOHN: wait. b?

ROXY: yea like short for babe

ROXY: cuz ur my babe b

JOHN: oh, haha. right.

ROXY: is dave ok?

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: are YOU okay?

ROXY: yea

ROXY: yea

ROXY: actually

ROXY: im more than ok

ROXY: cause ive been thinking

JOHN: oh?

ROXY: about you n me

ROXY: and this

ROXY: hey john

ROXY: we should get hitched

JOHN: ummmmmm...

JOHN: um...

JOHN: ...what???

ROXY: um what WHAT?

ROXY: john cmon

ROXY: marry me

JOHN: like...

JOHN: right NOW?

ROXY: lmao totes

ROXY: were already at the church n everything

JOHN: o-oh my god.

JOHN: oh my god!

ROXY: john

JOHN: oh my god, are you serious??

ROXY: no LOL

ROXY: john u take everything so literally

ROXY: its fuckin adorbs

JOHN: is that... why you want to marry me?

ROXY: yea

ROXY: im off the charts with all my jokes n shit

ROXY: and i gotta even all that out

ROXY: with this like HUGE helping of clueless nerd :)

JOHN: roxy...

ROXY: ok but lets be serious here moment

ROXY: i actually do love that youre so earnest

ROXY: its cute as fuck and also

ROXY: i always know where i stand with you

JOHN: roxy...

ROXY: sides this whole

ROXY: THING with dirk

ROXY: its made me realize that even though were immortal

ROXY: were not necessarily gonna live forever

ROXY: lifes too short not to spend every moment with the one u love

JOHN: you...

JOHN: LOVE me??

ROXY: yea john i love you

ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with you

JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um.

JOHN: that’s a LOT.

ROXY: well you dont gotta answer rn

ROXY: just know its on the table

JOHN: i...

JOHN: i...

JOHN: ok.

JOHN: ok, let’s... let’s do it!

ROXY: ooo u want to do it??

JOHN: yeah!

JOHN: er... i mean...

JOHN: um, yeah. that too.

JOHN: but i meant...

JOHN: about the getting married thing.

JOHN: let’s... do that!

JOHN: let’s totally get married!!

ROXY: omg

ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!

[davekat-sucks]

I think i definitely would've liked Calliope more if she was presented as a bad person. I love how she absolutely malded (this term works here (wig)) when she was losing that chess game. Beforehand she was acting all snide and flirty towards Caliborn, like come on, "you're being such a good sport now finally", sending hearts <3 to him, saying weirdly suggestive shit. Like damn girl you're usually not this upfront. Then she gets thrown off guard and gets extremely defensive, it's hilarious. I really liked her when she acted two-faced, you can even take this literally, she's delusional. She dresses up as a troll because she has a fetish for them then starts shipping herself and friends together, no wonder why Caliborn sees her as so pathetic. All she has is ruses, i don't even think that SHE THINKS that she's all that strong. She pretty much relies on other's to get her through stuff and she even pretends to be someone else to progress the story. I've said it in the past but i think she should've been a misandrist, i think it would be funny for her to enable her female friends obsessive dispositions towards their crushes. Remember her drawing of Roxy trying to kiss Dirk while he looks visibly uncomfortable? It's stuff like that, have her perception on men be that they're props for the girls and you need to get a one-up on them in anyway to control them. Like drawing Dirk in a pink costume and being called something as gay as "the prince of heart" as an attempt at emasculating him. There's potential for this idea. She's better at being more composed and tactful than Caliborn, a good set up for being manipulative, she uses her fake politeness to slither her way onto C-Earth where i think she would have great potential to become a villain.

Just a bunch a thoughts about her bleh, she was kinda boring half of the time in the comic, stuff just gets handed to her and she's supposed to be a good guy despite forcefully separating Roxy and Rose that one time. Gave off control freak vibes. Her character feels inconsistent, like Hussie couldn't choose what he wanted her to be. I feel like her potential was underutilized

While Caliborn tries to be more in your face direct kind of deal, Calliope would have been someone who plays the more passive role. Doing her best to hide her true intentions or feelings and only showing her true colors when she is not able see the results she wanted or something else beyond her control comes her way. Calliope would shown to be no better than Caliborn and prove show how Cherubs are awful species. Sure there could be a chance of good Cherub, but like with trolls, there is some trait that would be frowned upon by human standards. Like you got Nepeta, she is playful and sweet, yes, but people forget she still hunts animals for food and PAINT. Some may find FLARP sessions that Tavros, Terezi, Aradia, Vriska, and Eridan engage in to be dangerous since it can lead to physical harm, be it from other players or the monsters they had set up. To trolls, such activities like this are a norm because they had been conditioned to live under it. But perhaps for Cherubs case, it might as well be in genetics as a species themselves that they act this way. If she is also represents the 'good' side of the fandom, then one should show toxic positivity is just as bad. People who have good intentions, but their noble deeds can lead to harm if the intent behind it is still selfish, consciously or subconsciously. Maybe those who are part of the good fandom side that may disagree with certain opinions, everyone else immediately goes against them instantly at the drop of dime because they fear they instantly become bad, when there is more to it than that. Actually show the grey morality on both sides of the fandom that would represent people like 4chan & old MSPA fans with Caliborn and Calliope with Tumblr.

[crazyexdirkfriend]

What's the behind the scenes for shag etc? 👀 (also the icon on your blog theme is so cute...)

ty ty! it's from chapter 2 of two short hours etc. in case anyone didn't see it. okay this might get long so read more time

I have so many behind the scenes for that. Firstly: the playlist. this is what I made because my huge dirkjake playlist isn't thematically consistent. but to elaborate on the Lore of my choices:

dirt-emma blackery is actually the song that gave me the idea for the fic, and then down for the count-bowling for soup played afterwards. the key being snarky bits like "then you came on twitter saying i'm bitter, honey have you looked in the mirror" "how far down will you go on me, ONLINE" "guess things go sour after they pass their sell-by-date"

dead girl walking (reprise) was initially on my playlist for calvariæ and strip away my conscience (FIFTY SHADES OF MORALLY GREEEY) was on my two short hours etc. playlist, but both made the migration over thematically

someone gets hurt is solely on this for POOOOR LITTLE ME ALL TRAPPED IN THIS FABULOUS SHOOOOW. jake in a golden bird cage of his own making.

the bit where jake walks out on stage to endorse karkat with the back light is based on the music video for taylor swift's "i bet you think about me" when she...well comes out with a back light to "the voice is so loud, saying 'why did you let her go?'" it's very revenge dress moment for jake here. rip princess diana, she would have loved my fanfiction where dirk and jake hunt each other for sport.

i'm on it by the cast of nashville is on this because "the only over i'll be is over your shoulder" is why i have jake make those stupid billboards to haunt dirk with.

god is a freak is on this. but dirk is god in this scenario. WEIRD YOU'RE ACTING LIKE MY BOYFRIEND :///

Some other behind the scenes lore, like deleted scenes: I was supposed to rehash the scene where Roxy (and Jake) comes out as NB but it didn't fit in the end. Here's the excerpt I did write

There was also supposed to be a scene where Jake sent Dirk this meme but I forgot to put it in. I instead complained on Twitter about forgetting to put it in and then my third level lecturer SENT ME MY OWN TWEET and then offered me work. I am still haunted by this fact. I have no idea why this happened. Deep deep lore. Here's the image btw

This scene was also supposed to be in it but I had no idea where to go with it. Raccoon was supposed to be a series regular.

This note on the final conflict scene is the only time I used the term "emotionally devastate." The fic was unnamed until literally 3 days before its release bc I couldn't think of anything other than "the blood between us is horrendous but in a vacillating manner as opposed to a xenophobic one- (Troll Taylor's Version)" which was way too long considering no one ever types the full name of shag emotionally devastate etc. anyway lmao

The billboards and the bloat advertising on the dating apps are things I've had Jake do before in RP, both deliberately and accidentally. I find it so infinitely funny to think about the idea of Jake believing so hard that Dirk would never love anyone other than him that he (hope powers) makes it functionally impossible for Dirk to move on. Dirk looks for him in nothing and finds him there anyway. Buys a drink at a bar and Skaianet sponsors Orange Crush now. Is on a date with some guy who is like "hold on, you're jake english's ex? you broke up with jake english? sorry I could never date anyone stupid enough to let jake english go" (shoving breadsticks in purse). I think Jake would also set up Tinder so he pops up every three swipes but when Dirk swipes right on him eventually he just gets a Skaianet helpdesk bot

Other behind the scenes hmm. I spent the vast majority of 8-10 weeks not writing this and 4 weeks actually writing the bulk of it, but most of the time was spent hand wringing on discord because I was convinced that this fic would not be received well so I'm actually hugely pleasantly surprised that people have liked it!