#but i know there's at least 2 other shippers out there who could hopefully appreciate

[exdeputysonso-archive]

A commission I had done by @robomori of Deputy So and So x Ellison 💗

[demadogs]

Hello hello! I'm the anon from 2-3 days ago who sent the ask about Argyle being stoned the whole season and the whole Mileven/Byler shipping.

Sorry it took a while for me to respond. I've been busy but I am here now to respond!

- I am very open and I will say this: I ship Mileven but I'm not a hardcore shipper. I think they're cute ☺️! I don't think they will do Byler but I could very well be wrong. The percentage of them keeping Mileven vs. them doing Byler is 65% Mileven, and 35% Byler. So there IS a part of me that thinks they could very well do it. I DO see the signs and I've read why people think Byler will happen. The points being made are completely valid and I can understand why people think Byler will happen (so don't let anyone call you delusional for it). I really like Mileven but I'm not against Byler either!

- I DEFINITELY think that season 4 will give us a solid confession from Will or solid realization from Mike that Will likes him as more than a best friend. I could see it happening during an argument about how Mike is giving all of his attention to Eleven and semi ignoring Will. And then they'll be mad at each other. But then Mike will feel bad later on and get soft and apologize to Will.

- My responses aren't gonna try to convince you why either is better. I'm just gonna comment.

1. I would just like to say that I absolutely loved that rain fight scene. The lighting, the emotions, the rain, that screen shot is very beautiful, it was all so good! Mike and Will go way back together. They're best friends and losing/hurting a best friend is heartbreaking. And when Mike said " it's not my fault you don't like girls," and then immediately realizes he shouldn't have said that... And Wills face... Ouch 😭 Just let my boy be happy.

I didn't like the Mileven break-up because in season 1 and 2, it seemed like they cared for each other so much in such an innocent way and then El just dumps him and laughs... I didn't like it. Season 3 seemed like it tried to make everything funny a little too much. Same with Hopper/Joyce always arguing and Lucas saying how many times him and Max break up and get back together.

2. The way that Mileven kiss was framed with the closet makes sense with your point. As for Mike's eyes being wide open, my take on it is that he's an awkward dorky teenager who's not always the best at expressing his emotions and he was a bit shocked that El just said "I love you too," and then kissed him.

3. How I perceived Mike's reaction to the monster and the lingerie was that a monster is scary just like lingerie is scary because like I said earlier... He's an awkward nerdy young teenager so he doesn't quite know how to act 😆

I apologize if my responses didn't make sense or if there are spelling errors. I just word vomited and didn't read anything that I just wrote! 🙊

hello again!!

i appreciate you being so open to either ship. there seems to be some stupid milevens vs bylers war on the internet and most of them think the idea of byler is insane and they arent afraid to announce that to byler shippers. 65-35 is a decent ratio!!

i do agree with you that someones feelings will definitely be established this season. at least will’s but hopefully mike’s too.

THE RAIN FIGHT!!! oh my god before the season came out that still was released and i deadass almost sent it to one of my film professors, the same one that taught media aesthetics (a class i talked about in a previous ask) and yell about how fucking sick that shot is. just aesthetically its fucking BEAUTIFUL. and both their acting is so good especially noah’s hes so talented.

i see what you mean about them taking a comedic route. i didnt mind it much for mileven mostly bc i love max so much and i loved that she was just like “fuck boys were going shopping and getting ice cream” so it made sense for the breakup to play out like that after a fun girl day. for joyce and hopper i didnt love it. i didnt love how grumpy hop was the entire season like he was a cranky mother fucker especially towards alexei.

gonna skip ahead to the tweet. again, i dont usually read into their social media posts and dont blame people who dont think thats reliable evidence but just the fact that they chose mikes face when in that scene they showed lucas and wills reactions too right? if they had tweeted that with will instead of mike im sure everyone would interpret it the gay way bc hes much more obviously queer coded. i thought it was interesting that they chose mike instead.

no worries about word vomiting i love hearing other peoples opinions in my inbox.

[tundrainafrica]

why do you think levihan is so underrated? like it is an adorable ship and has so many more canon evidence compared to other ships. like it just saddens me - levihan deserves so much love.

Thank you for the ask anon! 

I agree! Levihan is incredibly underrated and sometimes even the community which gets picked on the most apparently. 

I don’t know the actual environment in twitter since I tend to keep to myself there and my knowledge is limited to like the 10 Levihan blogs I follow but I hear a lot of antis deny what happened in 126 and 132 saying Levi and Hange were just being friendly there or smthg but if it were Levi and their dream pairing doing the same thing as Hange and Levi were there, they’d be screaming ‘CANON’ but yeah, it was Levi and Hange and apparently they don’t have any chemistry or something like that. 

In the Japanese fandom though, Levihan is not as underrated actually. It is one of the top pairings that actually pushed 126 and 132 to the top of the polls for the Bessatsu polls for colored chapters. They have Levihan events and loads of Levihan dojins and content. (but Ereri still beats it fsrrrr)

I have A LOT of friends who watch AoT but surprise surprise, I’m the only Levihan shipper. I have friends who ship Jeankasa, Eremika and even RivaMika but NO ONE SHIPS LEVIHAN. And I asked about it and here are some reasons I get: 

1. Their height difference is just too big. It looks weird. 

2. They’re too weird for each other. 

3. They’re more like siblings. 

4. Levi always looks irritated when they see each other. Are you sure he doesn’t hate her? 

5. (for anime onlies) I have not seen them do anything romantic. At least Jean showed like some obvious romantic infatuation for Mikasa.

Make what you want of those comments up there but that’s the general reasoning I have seen among my friends which really just makes me roll my eyes *internally* because really Levihan was the closest ship to canon next to Yumihisu fight me. 

But why isn’t it as big as let’s say... Ereri? 

Okay I think to answer this type of question, we have to understand the fundamental fact that people ship what they ship for their own personal reasons. There is no universal reason to ship a pairing. 

Personally, I would ship a pairing or a relationship I would want for myself. Like the hanky panky part of the relationship is just a bonus. I like celebrating relationships that can teach us about healthy development, conflict resolution and mutual trust and I think Levihan does a great job in showing a healthy developed relationship between two parties. I have made a list of what exactly I find so delectable about their pairing and you can check it out here. 

I have trouble seeing that same healthy development in Ereri all the way to Season 4 (but if you do see it, do point it out. )

I mean apparently people actually see BDSM fuel in the court room scene in Season 1 and the soon to be animated kick from Levi in Seaosn 4 and those apparently are what launched this AOT ship into fame.

From Ereri’s origins we could surmise that people generally ship it because it’s an attractive ship to ship more than it being what embodies their dream relationship or a healthy ship. 

This is an okay way to go about shipping anyway. What I find problematic is when ship wars start all because people wanna force their own preferences on others which is apparently incredibly common in twitter. 

Hange and Levi’s relationship is really good fuel for hot porn as well (and I’ve read some good dojins) but they’re a het pairing too and I think it has been a norm for a while that yaoi pairings tend to be more popular among fans, We do have a lot of ‘fujoshis’ who enjoy these things. I’ve been into sports anime for an incredibly long time and it’s also apparent there that homosexual pairings tend to fly more than het pairings and this might also apply to this fandom. (It applies to most fandoms I think.)

And Hange’s kinda underrated.

Hange doesn’t score high as a popular character among Western audiences (although she scores high among Japanese audiences) so there’s also the question of “Why ship Levi would a character who isn’t even popular?” and for a lot of audiences, Hange has been reduced to the mad scientist. 

And to appreciate the relationship between Levi and Hange, we have to have a more in depth appreciation for both Hange and Levi which tend to be glossed over by a lot of watchers. Erwin and Eren generally score higher or are more popular characters next to Levi and I think that’s one reason why people to opt to pair Hange with Erwin and Hange with Eren. 

Like, you might notice a commonality among most if not all Levihan fans but we are all huge fans of Hange. Like I think being a huge fan of Hange comes with being a Levihan stan. 

Hopefully though animating 126 and 132 will make it a little more mainstream ship? Who knows.

Thank you for the ask anon and I hope this answers your question. 

[misstrashchan]

RWBY V8 CH12 Initial Thoughts:

Yes yes I'm late watching the new episode don't look at me. Also @tumblezwei thank you thank you for showing me how to put the read more bit on posts, I can finally put it to good use.

Figured I might as well do a reaction/initial thoughts to this episode since I haven't done that in a while, so here goes:

- Man Ironwood is just. Super overcompensating with his Gun-gun.

"You've done the right thing."

"I have. Feels weird"

-I'M SORRY THAT WAS THE BEST LINE OF THE EPISODE HANDS DOWN. Just. The sass. The growth. Kicking Ironwood in the face while cuffed (does she have experience doing that? Fighting while arrested? It kinda looked similar to Mercury's fighting style too.) EMERALD I LOVE YOU.

- Ngl I feel extremely satisfied that we can finally FINALLY put the "Winter is Totally Going To Be A Villain" theory to bed after this episode. Not that I didn't used to see the appeal of it myself, but v8 made it increasingly clear that wasn't where her arc was headed. Also Schneebling reunion on the horizon? Pretty please???

- *Sees Oscar riding on the Chimera summon with Winter*

*Remembers Oscar riding with Yang on the hoverbike in episode 2*

My Snowpines/Rosegarden shipping ass: Gee Oscar, how come you get TWO big sister-in-laws?

- Small thing but it's always nice to see team ALPN fighting together. I know a few Oscar fans were freaking out about Penny potentially replacing Oscar as their teammate, but like I thought that wasn't really something to worry about. *gently bonks Oscar fanbase* Sillies.

- I'm a little suprised given how Ironwood is the Big Bad of the Atlas arc how quickly he went down, without much dramatic flair or further esculation, but I am so glad Winter got that last awesome shot on him. (and that Oscar managed to get a few jabs in too) And like. He's still alive in jail. So who the hell knows what we're gonna do with him now. Take him to Vacuo along with Jaques apparently. I'm sure that'll go greeeeaaat.

- Ambrosius... after a quick google search the name apparently means "Divine" or "Immortal" in Greek. Hm. Unlike Jinn, not a specific reference to a mythical being, at least not in name, but I'm sure people are already theorizing on that front better than I could. Similar blue/gold design too. So maybe they're all Djinns in a sense, since they grant your desires, but split into four focusing on a specific kind of desire? That works. Anyways, super fun character and I hope they make more use of him. Like, because I wanna see more of his personality and also Oh my Gosh the Things You Can Do With His Powers are Basically Limitless as long as you're smart about it (hint hint get the CCT active around Remnant but Better)

- And gosh were our girls smart. Weiss working with Whitley to get the schematics and coordinates for the exact points of evacuation that they had originally planned out for their ships to create portals to the Vault/Central Zone (?) to Vacuo, Ruby puting in careful thought and wording about creating a copy of Penny with the existing robot parts from her to let the girl who was always there underneath remain and leaving the copy with the virus to self destruct, with Penny's designs for reference, they absolutely did their homework. Of course there was the risk of if Penny could exist without that physical form, but of course they all believed in her.

- Self destructing Not!Penny crawling towards the real Penny is super creepy and hopefully something she doesn't have nightmares about

- Of course the first thing Penny does when she realises she's a Real Girl is hug everyone so she can experience the joy of Real Normal Warm Hugs.

"Are hugs always this warm?"

"Yes, Penny"

"Woooow"

-MY HEART. No actually back up, back up, the Nuts and Dolts shipper in me is singing rn, because all the times Penny has been hugged by Ruby this volume and only now is she actually able to actually feel that hug. Like, the sentiment and emotional support of it was always there and obviously appreciated by her before, but like. Now she can FEEL it.

- I'm super happy for Penny and seeing her back to her cheerful adorable self is Delightful, but at the same time I'm now really worried for her too. She doesn't have to worry about the virus anymore, now she's a regular meat person, but here's the thing. She's a regular meat person. No more rocket boots. No more lasers. No more in built swords attached to her body with strings. No more resistance to harsher elements. No more night vision. Obviously she's still the Winter Maiden, so she's still a force to be reckoned with, and she has RWBY with her, but she's still a rookie maiden that is massively vulnerable right now. She's vulnerable in her new human form to anyone coming after her. And like. Things just feel like they're going too smoothly...

- Speaking of, hello hello my ominous darling Cinder. Just like last volume, when things seem to be going too smoothly, there you are. So Watts cut off Jaune's broadcast and all other communications in the kingdom, and I'm guessing Cinder's jumping in those portal spaces with Neo to come after Ruby and Penny? That along with the "Do Not Fall" warning seems... yeah something's gonna go terribly wrong by the end of this volume. Salem, Ironwood, Mantle, Penny... All these loose ends are just being dealt with so quickly and neatly for me to be fully comfortable.

- tfw you've read Before the Dawn and know that Vacuo was already struggling with refugees coming in since Atlas had closed its borders, Vale was overrun with Grimm, and Mistral had its defences spread thin already being the widest reaching kingdom, along with Leo, Hazel and Tyrian denting it even further in offing all the huntsman and huntresses, and Vacuo's people are already pretty stingy with outsiders, and if there are thousands coming from the kingdom that closed it's borders and ordered an dust embargo... oh boi the Vacuo arc is gonna be a doozy.

- I know it's probably too close to Atlas and therefore Salem, and we need a convenient way to segue into the Vacuo arc, but couldn't Argus have been an option for the portal evacuation? At least, as well as Vacuo?

- OH FUCK YEAH I FORGOT THEY MENTIONED THE WRITERS SAID V9 WAS GONNA BE A DETOUR AND WASN'T JUST GOING TO BE JUMPING STRAIGHT TO VACUO. So like. Are they gonna get lost in a void of time and space? Are they going to jump through time by accident? Or just in space? Both? If you fall do you just end up randomly in the middle of the desert, far from Vacuo? And v9 is just going to be RWBY trekking through the desert? Similar to v6 after the train crash? So many questions.

-Hmm. Torn between Cinder going after Penny/Ruby with Neo in the vault space, or potentially being confronted by ALPN+Emerald... JNR+Emerald seems more narratively fitting, but Neo seems deadset on her and Cinder killing to Ruby...

- I wonder if Qrow is gonna confront Ironwood while he's in jail... Role reversal of the start of the volume. Or maybe he's just going to consider it worth his time.

-Taking all the established Atlas characters right with us into the Vacuo arc seems like it's going to be... A Lot. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if team RWBY really did end up jumping in time in V9 to fast forward on the two city populations integrating with one another, like maybe by a few months? Idk I'm just spitballing. Initial thoughts and all.

- Last point but the hooded cowl is such a great look on Cinder. Love it.

[hellsingimpuresouls-a]

1, 2, 7, 25 (Gonzo Hellsing)!

responding to this late, so sorry about that! hopefully i’m answering the questions from the correct meme orz. onward to the salt! ( i’m an idiot because only after i answered everything did i realize you put ‘for Gonzo’, so these answers are a mix )

1. What OTP(s) in the fandom do you just not get?

Seras/Integra. 

the most famous interaction that people go nuts over is the finger-sucking scene : it’s gross, rapey and just… uncomfortable how generally this is justified in so many ways. from ‘well, it didn’t ACTUALLY happen like that, that was just through the male gaze’ to ‘it’s just fan-service, Integra wouldn’t actually force herself on Seras’ to ‘uwu lesbian / sapphic rep.’ i just don’t vibe, canonically or fandom wise - there’s a very clear power dynamic in that rendition of Integra, and generally as a whole ( not that i’m infantilizing Seras by the way ), and people really like to use the finger-sucking scene as a sort of… foundation or undeniable evidence that they are very into each other, when if that same scene was done with Walter or god-forbid, Alucard, there would be riots left and right ( clarification : Alucard TO Seras, not Integra to Alucard ). it just really hit too because irl, women go through shit like this in the workplace, being sexually assaulted / harassed by their bosses. Integra being a woman doesn’t make it less rapey.

it’s also hard to ignore the fact that Seras was ‘taken in’ without anyone asking her what she wanted ( unlike Gonzo ) on her end - idc what people say, they literally abducted her ( that creepy smile Integra gives her in the first episode when Seras is being given her uniform, or that even creepier smile when she’s sexually assaulting her : miss me with that shit ). MAYBE i’d be into it a bit more if the finger-sucking scene never happened? who knows. 

i can say i enjoy shipping them in any other way but the fandom / general way. the manga-canon had a funny thing going between them ( even the finger sucking scene hit a little different? still not okay obviously but more… idk ig lighthearted and almost troll-like, ‘here suck it. do it. doooo iiiit.’ i could appreciate that. )

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

i know Millennium pairings aren’t popular, at least in current tumblr spaces, but Dok/Major. it was apparently a popular ship back in the day, and i still occasionally see stuff for it. i genuinely don’t get it, because i saw no kind of connection between those two that was even slightly romantic. Dok legit went ‘aight, i’m out’ when the zeppelin was shot to bits - he gave no fucks about Major lmao.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

mm... maybe the dynamic between Integra/Alucard? idk, when i first watched Ultimate, no tumblr or fandom involved, i thought it was very complicated. there was definitely trust, suggestiveness, excitement, guardian-like qualities, and the list just goes on! but then i made the mistake of exposing myself to fandom spaces a bit much, and them being spoken about in a strictly romantic sense kind of annoys me now. same thing if people insist that there ISN’T romance. i’m on a high horse, but i genuinely don’t think i’ve seen many people truly understand / capture the Integra/Alucard dynamic. i roll my eyes when i see either extreme sides ( romance v. no romance ).

not that i was the biggest shipper or anything - i gave very little care for Alucard and Integra respectively, but now i just care for them even less. i literally just say ‘idk and idc’ when people ask me if i ship it.

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

impure souls : would they have continued season 2 as planned, just continue to the canon. Integra would run the organization under the watch of the Crown, but everything else would run mostly the same. there would be interesting plot points when Integra and the Queen conflict on what to do with certain missions, and the pressure gets put on even more when they realize there’s literal Nazis behind everything. at some point, reveal that the traitor was the same guy we see in Ultimate, ergo Incognito and the whole FREAK mess was just more Millennium fuss. introduce Pip and Heinkel later on too ( as they were planned to also make an appearance in the anime as well ). i definitely wouldn’t have minded Gonzo’s take on canon, and it’d be easy to pick up from where they left off.

ultimate : everything was fine / dandy, i wouldn’t change anything except for the last minutes. this is the old, nostalgic, Walter-fangirl i once was, but since Alucard is almost close to a god ( or something ) at this point, have him lift up his cape at Integra, only to reveal that he somehow managed to take in Walter as a familiar ( unwillingly, of course ), not only that, but he’s forever stuck in his adolescent form. sort of to have the ‘gang’ back together, or something. Walter was a son of a bitch who deserved no good, but this would be a funny way to condemn him.

as far as canon goes, i am please with how things ended. it was pretty alright.

SALTY ASK LIST

[tbhwhocaresanymore]

Nancy Drew 2x1

ONE OF YOU apparently ran to @kat--writes, or as my friend and I call her Tumblr Kat, and snitched that I had not yet posted my Nancy Drew premiere review. I promised to get it up by today and yes it is technically after midnight but the sun has not yet risen, so please find my thoughts under the cut.

Before I do anything else let me just say I will never stop appreciating the continuous book Easter eggs the show writers drop. Nancy mentioning how she learned that trick with the mirror in “a bungalow mystery” when she did in fact pull that exact same trick in The Bungalow Mystery? Iconic.

Now that’s out of the way, I’m going to do something I’ve never really done before and start off with the negatives. Guys, I was underwhelmed.

Not by the episode itself, the episode was great. It picked up right where we left off and continued into the mystery of the Aglaeca, the cast was engaging, the horror was chilling, the story kept unfolding. The problem is, it was great as any other regular episode, it was less great as a season premiere. I waited TEN MONTHS for this episode. And granted I understand that ND didn’t get to finish off its first season how they wanted, but they have had, I repeat, ten months to plan this. The season 1 premiere, for all its issues, did exactly what a season premiere is supposed to do. It established relationships, a season-long arc, character trajectories, and even a couple of smaller plots. We saw Nancy and her dad were on the rocks, she and George didn’t get along in high school, Bess is rich but living in a van, Tiffany Hudson was murdered and the crew are suspects, George is sleeping with Ryan, Ace is working for the police, and we found the bloody Lucy Sable dress in Nancy’s attic, to name but a few.

You guys, that is a lot of plot lines. And the writers explored and solved every single one of them over the course of the season.

Now we have the season 2 premiere. The crew tries to find a mirror to fight the Aglaeca, meets a mouthy dude, and takes a break from the Aglaeca to hide from the Gorham wraith. (Gorham is 100% a play on Gotham fight me.) Like yes there is more if you squint, but aside from that nothing all that major really happened. Mr. Hudson is setting up a defense, but we knew that already. Ryan wants a relationship with Nancy and is pissed at Carson for keeping her a secret, but we knew that already. The new head cop doesn’t trust Nancy or the crew at all, but, again, we knew that already.

But since this was still a good episode even if a lackluster premiere, I will still give you some positives.

The Gorham wraith you guys, oh my god the horror was fantastic. Nancy Drew is really looking every other magic show’s super special effects in the eye as it hits them over the the head with a folding chair made by their costuming and makeup department. The scarecrow coming to life, banging on the back of the bus, crawling in after Nancy? On point. I was on the edge of my seat.

Ryan I know you are an asshole and your character arc is a work in progress but kidnapping? Are you serious right now? “Your suicidal girlfriend begged us to hide and take care of her child right before jumping off a cliff. Also I didn’t even know you were the father.” “Omg how dare you. Time for BLACKMAIL.” It’ll be interesting to see how this whole Ryan v Carson thing plays out. I suspect maybe Carson will become like an example father figure to Ryan, teach him how to be good to Nancy. Something like “if you’re serious about being a father lesson number one is it’s not about you anymore, it’s about her. And you sending me to prison won’t just hurt me it’ll hurt Nancy.” I think that would be a nice parallel, Kate was Lucy’s guidance counselor, and now Carson will be Ryan’s parental counselor/therapist/whatever.

I’m going to be completely honest here, I totally forgot Nick and George had not actually told Nancy they are together. No idea how long this is going to go on for, I suspect not that long, but maybe up until like episode 5 or 6. I do think it would be fun if Nancy found out in like the absolute worst way possible. Like here is my worst/best case scenario. I know Nancy is supposed to have some kind of thing with Gil so let’s say they hook up a couple times and he burns her, as he probably will, and Nancy goes to Nick cause she’s upset and needs to talk, and when he opens the door thinking it’s the pizza guy he is shirtless and George is in the bed behind him. Unlikely, but fun to imagine. But however they do it, all the Nick and George fans will undoubtedly get some fun footage of them sneaking around, so enjoy guys.

All the Nancy and Ace shippers are also getting good material, even if I want to grab Ace by the shoulders and physically shake him.

Nancy: I can’t let you guys help me summon the Aglaeca, there could be really bad consequences.

Crew: Psh, consequences? What consequences? We have the power of FRIENDSHIP.

*Aglaeca sends them all death visions*

Ace: How dare you drag me into this Nancy I can’t believe we’re all going to die because of you.

LIKE BRUH. ACE. MY GUY. If you could maybe use your considerable brain power to pull your head out of your ass for TWO SECONDS I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks. But aside from that, their scene at the end? Poetic cinema. The slow burn is strong with this one. Even if I do have faith she will eventually find her way back to Nick aaaaaaaaah

Not sure how I feel about the twins yet. I know they were in some other ND-verse book series, but tbh I only ever read the Nancy Drew books. I never delved into the Hardy Boys or anything else, I was a Drew girl all the way. I do think the writers could maybe have done a better job introducing us to Gil and making us like him. Like they were definitely going for the Han Solo type I feel, and George being all “wow the Bobsey twins are hardcore” as he ups the price while literally dying. Um, George, no, the Bobsey twins are fucking morons, or at least Mr. Diabetic over here is. It says a lot that Amanda had only two lines of dialogue and I liked her considerably more than Gil. But who knows, maybe they’ll grow on me. And they did mention their family used to work for the Hudsons, I would bet good money they know about more than one skeleton that’s been stuffed in the closet.

This paragraph right here is for me and the like two other Drewson shippers in the fandom. Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the first meeting flashback oh my god. I was dying. I rewatched it ten times. I am in love. The way they both just sort of stared at each other, the way Nancy clearly feels a certain amount of nostalgia for him and what they had. I am deceased. Honest to god I don’t care how many Nick x George and Nancy x Ace moments the writers throw at us, just as long as I continue to get crumbs like that I am good. Have faith guys.

And finally, oh my dear, talented writers. I would like to know when exactly you are planning on pulling my three most favorite women out of whatever floorboard you have stuffed them under. I WOULD LIKE DEAD LUCY, VICTORIA, AND HANNAH GRUEN TO PLEASE STAND UP. Yes I know Hannah Gruen is in the next episode but the wait is excruciating. And if the last time we saw Dead Lucy was going to be in the courtroom scene, her standing in the doorway as Nancy read her suicide note? I am going to mcfreaking lose it.

Well that’s all for today. Sorry this took so long, I guess I just wasn’t all that inspired by this premiere episode. But hopefully I will get the next one finished much quicker. And with that, I leave you until Wednesday the 27th when Nancy Drew 2x2, The Reunion of Lost Souls airs. See ya

[himbo-buckley]

INTIMACY, SEX AND BUDDIE (BETTER KNOWN AS I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS SHOW, SOME OF WHICH ARE RELATED TO THE BEFORE MENTIONED TOPICS) - Part 3

Well, hello there (again)!


I got to say, this was both my favourite and least favourite part to write because by now all my theories are (hopefully) explained enough that I can just ramble about the characters and connections and ya’ll will forgive me if I stray away from what’s actually happening in this episode. Which I will do. A lot actually.

On the other hand side I have so many thoughts about what’s happening and this is gonna be long af as I started writing on part three at the same time as I wrote part 1 and 2 and I barely found things to cut, which means we are clocking in at a casual 7700 words. So maybe get that drink now, cause it’ll be a ride!

Also the links to part one and part two

And look, by now you probably know the drill but I’m just gonna give you my preface again:

This meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney voice* we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something

This Meta will so far have FOUR parts now. The original plan was to do three, one for each Season and is organised by episode so you could technically follow along, but due to personal reasons, also known as *feelings*, Season 3 has already exploded disproportionately and for readability reasons I have split it in two (this is part three, the cut will happen after Christmas, it works storyline-wise)

And now, for our next instalment of I read too much into things: Season 3A (also called: „Eddie Diaz, stop being such a boy scout (Wait, no, not like that!)“)

Episode 3.01:

911 as a show has a fairly interesting way of storytelling where it sometimes feels a little like they cut together snapshots of lives in regards to certain topics. And because of that you only ever see a small part of the lives of the characters. That being said: I hate hate hate how 5 months passed between the Season 2 final and the first episode of Season 3 and aside from a few offhand remarks we get virtually nothing. Also it’s very unrealistic that Bobby and Athena didn’t have any parties for 5 months, like nope, I don’t believe you show!

That being said, I appreciate how much time it took Buck to heal because it’s realistic! And also most importantly gets Oliver Stark a chance to truly shine!

I wanna take this chance real quick, to thank the producers and writer both for writing Evan Buckley the way they write him and for casting Oliver Stark to play him because omg, it works so well! Look, Oliver Stark is attractive. He is buff and handsome, but he is not perfect. He is Tinder-buff, not MCU-I haven’t seen a drop of water in a month-buff, he’s the kind of fit that will fill the whole screen one minute and make you say „Wait, I thought he was wider than this!“ the next (you know how everyone always talks about the hips to shoulder ration of Chris Evans? Yeah, the opposite of that) . And he has a really pretty face but his nose is a little too cocked and he has scars and there’s the „adorable facemark“ and he seems so damn dorky which is exactly why Evan „Buck“ Buckley works, why he is hot. And he gets to be emotional and sensitive and caring on top of that and yeah, I don’t know if I wanna be him or date him anymore either. Like he singlehandedly made me rethink my view on dating, just because I am hoping for someone like him.

Anyways, that’s probably something none of you wanted to read about in a META so we’ll get to the juicy stuff now, alright?

One thing that I realised as I watched season 3 for the third time just now is how often it repeats itself. It feels a bit stagnant at times, the way the characters make two steps forward and one step back all the time, most notably in Bobby.

I wanna talk about Bobby for once because you can not look at Buck in Season 3 without looking at Bobby as well. These two characters are connected the same way Buck is connected to Eddie. Most things Buck does character wise in Season 3 are caused by Bobby’s actions, in the same way most of Eddie’s are caused by Buck.

And the thing that 3.01 tells us from the get go? Bobby thinks of Buck as somewhat of a son (which we knew already) and Bobby sees himself in Buck, which is why he does what he probably hoped someone would have done for him the 10 or something years ago when he hurt is back and holds him back. There is also the fact that he tries to teach Buck to have a life outside the firehouse, though that is something he probably should at some point in the near future actually voice to Buck, because Buck on his own can not draw these conclusions from Bobby’s actions. Buck on his own thinks it’s about him not being good enough and so he works himself to the bone to try and proof otherwise. (Someone please just finally tell him what a good boy he is? Yeah?)

As for the scene during the party, you could actually see how much Buck had to force himself to be that open and that vulnerable with Bobby (and not just because he is *literally* having an embolism) and that hurts because to this day Buck has not realised that Bobby will always be there to catch him. Buck still thinks he needs to proof himself to Bobby because of his firing in Season 1. And would you believe I actually cried a little typing these words?

And now I’m gonna talk about my agenda, also known as Buddie real quick, and point you toward the fact that while we have seen Eddie be vulnerable with Buck and Buck be vulnerable with everyone else we have not seen Buck be audibly vulnerable with Eddie and I do not think this is a coincident at all.

Look, Eddie is a guarded guy, right? He has a hard time being vulnerable, a hard time asking for help, a hard time giving up control. But he does all these things with Buck and he does them willingly and with barely an outside push, which is different to say with Bobby. Eddie let’s himself fall with Buck and by doing so raises Buck’s self worth and gives him the feeling of being in control Buck craves so much (while Eddie sort of despises it because he feels like he always has to be the one in control), but it also means that Buck is afraid to let himself fall with Eddie because it might mean Eddie won’t trust him again. Buck generally is a very emotional guy and he doesn’t seem afraid to voice his weaknesses, in fact he is probably too aware of them and too willing to let others poke at them, except with Eddie. With Eddie Buck always tries for strong, because he knows Eddie needs him to be and because he thinks, if he’s not, Eddie will see what everyone else saw and leave him. On Eddie’s side I do think by now he is more than willing to catch Buck and still let himself be caught in return. At least at this point.

(also, if we do ever get Buddie I could see a reverse of the Shannon-Eddie situation happening where Eddie is the one being open and Buck has a hard time being emotionally vulnerable, afraid it’ll scare Eddie off and he’ll leave like everyone else.)

But then, one could also point out that Eddie probably knows all the things going on with Buck anyways because I truly think they know each other inside out and are two feathers of the same bird and same recognises same and all that - it’s just that Buck is someone who needs to actually voice his feelings to deal with them, so unless he voices his vulnerabilities to Eddie, for him, the other guy doesn’t know them. (Except Eddie does know.) (and man, I wish the rest of the 911 would finally figure out that with Buck you always - always - have to say things! You can’t just imply. You can’t think your actions speak loud enough. You need to actually use your words and do so in a way that leaves no doubt because that boy thinks so little of himself and he will make himself doubt every nice thing that ever happens to him.)

Now, moving back to what’s actually happening in the episode and why all of this is important:

We have the very important talk in the Station were text points out some of the things I just said and Eddie realises that he needs to do better, so he pulls a Buck and steamrolls him. (also do we truly believe that Carla was out of the country? Do we? Do we not think Eddie spent the whole ride over coaching his son on lying to his best friend because Eddie is just like that?)

Also I love how before this Maddie is talking to Josh and she says something along the lines of wether she should push Buck or coddle him and it cuts to Eddie trying the first.

On Eddie’s side of this meta we somewhat learn where Eddie’s issues stem from and it’s of course Daddy issues because this show loves them very much. (Seriously, out of 5 firefighters 3 have confirmed absent fathers causing issues and one has it heavily implied. Tim Minear, do you wanna talk?)

Also, Ramon Diaz probably threw in a „real men don’t cry“ with his macho speech about just brushing shit off and thereby emotionally crippling his child further, because he seems cliche like that.

Sidenote: The Buck and Christopher relationship is so beautiful and important and „Some cool outfits, too.“ is one of my favourite lines, though I do have to say - as someone who works professionally with kids - that this is what really shows how much Eddie truly thinks of Buck and how much he trusts him because it’s safe to assume that Buck has never been alone with Christopher or any child for longer and has never had to take care of one by himself and yet Eddie just trusts him to take care of his son for what is probably a 24h shift. Truly magnificent. An unparalleled relationship. So meaningful.

Episode 3.02:

No actual relevance but I do wanna point out that the thing about the mom being the love of boat guys life but her son being her’s? Yeah, that’s Eddie (and Buck).

Also, Buck’s just a natural at being a dad (not because of the fun stuff but the stuff when he knew exactly how to distract Christopher when those bodies floated by) and at some point I need Eddie to point this out to him and I need him to voice his jealousy about it, because Eddie? Not a natural dad.

(I actually think that is something that is true about a lot of things for these two. I mean yes, Buck is a hard worker but I think only in areas he is already naturally gifted (remember that whole thing with the Seals? “You just have to be badass, which I am?”) and he generally doesn’t try if things don’t come naturally because Buck hates failure because Buck already feels like a failure. Meanwhile Eddie seems like the kind of guy who has this huge capacity for learning, so even if something doesn’t come naturally to him (like fatherhood) he has the determination and willingness to try and try again until he finally gets it right and is perfect because Eddie, too, hates failure.) (And now I wanna see more about their childhoods because I could actually see Buck be somewhat of a gifted child in his youth who never learned how to actually apply himself and because of that has always been told he had so much wasted potential while Eddie was either an overarchiver or a slacker, I’m sorry I don’t make the rules. Or maybe I am projecting.)

Episode 3.03:

I read somewhere on tumblr that Ryan Guzman and his wife thought Eddie and Lena would be a thing and where actually on board and I was like? No?

I mean I do love the way she takes one look at him and decides he needs his ego checked (and also Eddie is like: ui, me like-y! (maybe because he misses another person that used to be an asshole to him right off the bat?)).

Also love all the references to Eddie being in the army („The 118 is huffing it“-scene comes to mind). Again, kudos to Ryan Guzman for always acting with all his body, because you can always feel the army training in his posture like the way he usually stands just a little bit straighter than everyone else (well, at least that’s what it looks like to me, someone who has not been in the Army and knows only like two people that got drafted and no one who went willingly, because my country generally doesn’t do that these days ).

As for what is happening in the episode, I think it’s a reference to Shannon that Eddie dealt with that couple that, despite loving each other a lot and getting along fairly well, decided to get divorced. Which is what 911 should have done with Shannon. (Me being salty about Shannon? It’s more likely than you think.)

I also think it’s a nice parallel the way both Lena and Buck are so desperate to search for their missing loved one with no regard for their own safety and I’m assuming Eddie saw Buck in Lena’s actions as well, which is why he trusts her so fast. (Because Eddie just like Buck is looking for connection and intimacy but Eddie is even worse at creating it than Buck, so he just tries to recreate the one working bond he truly has.) (Something actually proven in text by Eddie: becoming a firefighter because he misses the army.)

And I know everyone and their mother has already pointed out how Eddie was not worried about Chris at all because his son was with Buck and he knows Buck would never let anything bad happen to his son ever.

Which is why *that* scene is even more heartbreaking, because Eddie has so much trust in his Buck and kudos to Ryan Guzman because man, the way you see Eddie steel himself for what Buck is saying? The way you can feel him pulling himself together because Buck needs him to hear this. (Look, the scene is about a father learning from the person he trusts most in the world that his son might be dead and they could have easily forshadowed Eddie’s fighting ark by having him react negatively and violently here but instead he stays calm because it’s Buck and Buck for once needs him to be the one in control - also, on a less ship-y note because Eddie’s world is falling apart right there and he needs to keep in control because if he doesn’t, he will probably never be again.)

Which brings us to that scene in the loft, and listen, I know I said at the end of part 2 Eddie barely had any character development in the two seasons since we met him, but uhm, this scene? Proves he had some development, because right then right there he is so fucking vulnerable with Buck. It is of course part of him being a protector because just like with Shannon in 2.04 he realises that this is was Buck needs him to be right now, so vulnerable it is.

I do think however that it’s beautiful how Eddie apparently took the time during a fucking natural disaster to figure out that Evan Buckley needs him to use his actual words, so use his actual words he does.

And I do wanna point out that this is something he never had with Shannon, Eddie was never able to figure out what is wife of what? 7-8 years needed of him but he does know what his best friends needs. And wether that is just Buddie or just plain old character development, remains to be seen.

(Though we should mention that it wasn’t a permanent thing, Eddie does fail Buck a few times in Season 3 (but he also doesn’t a few other times) but we’ll get to that when we get to that!)

Also, honourable mention to Maddie Buckley-Kendall for getting that phone call and probably nearly dying of a heart attack and then having to race to the VA thinking the worst and probably imagining her very selfless brother either being already gone by the time she gets there or close to dead - only to probably arrive there and see Christopher in a bed with Eddie sitting next to him and Buck sitting vigil a few feet away because he doesn’t think he deserves to be with the Diaz’s anymore but he also can’t bear to part from them!

And another mention to the poor stranger who probably never got their phone back.

Also a teeny bit mad they forgot to give Oliver scars on his legs.

Episode 3.04

First of all I gotta say Eddie is such a boy scout goody two shoes with his whole „Well, it’s mandated!“ (also he’s been probably hanging out with Buck a buncha times in whatever many weeks passed since the Tsunami and  therefore knew how hard his best friend worked on this and he’s gonna be supportive, kay?)

That being said, remember when I talked about two steps forward, one step back? Yeah, that.

As for the lawsuit, look, we could argue all day on wether it was justified or not, but I personally do think Buck had a basis. But he was also acting rash and hadn’t thought all the implications through and should have used his words instead, but quick reminder: Buck has severe abandonment issues and he has problems with emotional intimacy - so the whole talking about it? Not that easy.

Also, imagine working for months to come back to work, the one thing you think you’re good at and thinking you have everyone’s support only to find out the person you love like a father has betrayed you, probably with the knowledge of everyone else. Yeah, you’d lash out too!

Even though, I have to point out it’s not his normal MO (which is why we see him regret it almost immediately in the next episode).

As for Eddie in this episode, he has not one, not two, not three, but four whole conversations about feelings! You go buddy-boy. Embrace that character development! Don’t take a step back! … or, nevermind, we all know what happens next.

That being said I think it’s interesting that while Chimney clearly confides in him, Eddie does not confide in him in return but rather talks to female!Buck. I mean, talking about his struggles with his son and his family worked with him and Buck so why not with him and Lena (cause Lena isn’t Buck).

I do think Eddie and Chimney are close, but Eddie just doesn’t feel the same connection to him as he feels to Buck.

As for Eddie being so beautifully open and vulnerable with his son and saying like the exact opposite of what he had been taught: Eddie loves his son. He loves his son more than anything in the world. And if Eddie can’t let himself be vulnerable with him, who can he be vulnerable with? Especially when it helps Christopher.

(Also, Eddie by now recognises what is wrong with him, he just doesn’t think he can change it but he can prevent it from happening to his child.)

Episode 3.05:

This episode has a lot of shit happening and I have a lot of thoughts, most of which are relevant to the episode. But we’re gonna start slow, ease you in:

Boy do I love overprotective Dad!Eddie! How long do you think did it took Carla and Christopher to convince Eddie to let Chris sleep over at his friends? A month?

In other news Buck is just the picture of regret during the deposition and yeah, he should be. The whole thing is harsh. Never sue your friends, no matter how justified, if you want them to stay your friends! But it’s so obvious Buck didn’t know it was gonna go down this way because he did not think this through at all.

First off: Remember how in part 2 I said Buck and Eddie’s storylines were connected and how earlier I said Buck was the catalyst for Eddie like Bobby was for Buck?

Yeah, that’s the episode for all of this.

It’s not as obvious as in Season 2 because usually it happens over two episodes but it’s no coincident that after last episode Bobby triggered that shift in Buck, Eddie is now suddenly careering out of control as well - it’s because Buck is his catalyst, his *trigger*.

Please watch 3.04 and 3.05 back to back and tell me Eddie doesn’t make a 180 between those episodes. He goes from worried about his son to punching people in parking lots. What changed? Well, he could no longer talk to Buck. And Buck is his anker and his catalyst, the one person he doesn’t have to be in control with (which he really could use considering what he is going through with Christopher). And when you take that away he spirals. (Also there is the deposition where his best friend betrays him by talking about his dead for less than a year - wife, a topic Eddie has been avoiding in regards to his feelings since … well, the day it happened, probably.)

And I’m not saying the whole street fighting thing wouldn’t have happened if Eddie wasn’t such a boy scout and said, screw the chain of command and just called Buck to bail him out, but that’s what I’m implieing.

Also the scene between Eddie and Lena, I mean, I’ve already talked about it somewhere else but I do wanna point you to the way it is phrased: Eddie „wasn’t allowed“ to call Buck. Meaning he wanted to. But you know: Boy Scout.

Now, let’s talk about the grocery store fight because I have so many thoughts!

And what I love about these two episodes, as well as the next one, is that they show both the connection Buddie has as well as the contrasts between them:

One of the biggest differences in Buddie is how they deal with fear and obstacles and it is visible throughout all their lives and specifically these three episodes.

Evan Buckley is a force of nature, he is a fighter, he sets a goal and he reaches this goal with a single minded focus, steamrolling through everything in his way until he reaches said goal. Just look at the lawsuit and remember how his original plan was to get everyone to sign a letter of support for him.

When something frightens him, Buck doesn’t run away he runs right into it, tries to destroy it or be destroyed. He fights. And if that doesn’t work, he finds a way around the problem, but always going head to head with the thing because Evan Buckley is very determined and very self destructive.

Just look at the way he held onto Abby for nearly a year after she had left: Instead of dealing with his feelings of abandonment and the fact that the woman he loved left him, that boy dug his heel in and fought tooth and nail to keep what little he had left of her, of them. Refused to acknowledge being left for months. And when he finally leaves he literally compares himself to a ghost, because you know, he is just an empty shell at this point.

It’s also why he falls so hard for Ali because he is just desperately looking for something to cling to and so he transfers all those un-dealt feelings onto her and then he get’s hurt and his problems become bigger and different and Ali can’t deal - not surprising considering they had barely a foundation. They just went from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds and that just never works out, unless you’re in a very expensive sports car.

I also truly think at times Buck hides behind the loud mouthed, dumb adrenaline junkie persona he got going on as it keeps people from looking deeper, because Buck is very scared they won‘t find anything deeper - or worse, decide they don’t like what they see (and hey, he even got that confirmed by Ali leaving! and Abby! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY MADDIE!).

(Which, to push an agenda real quick, is why I ship Buddie so hard? Because they do have a foundation, they have been emotionally intimate with each other, they’ve seen the worst of each other and still went: I’m gonna have your back. And they have pulled a lot of shit on each other in the two years since meeting! Like, I’m sorry 911, I love you, but please never try and tell me they will have a deeper connection with anyone but each other because it’ll be a damn lie and you know it! If you don’t wanna do Buddie, let those boys get emotionally healthy and THEN give them an endgame but don’t try and replace Buddie with Loveinterests. I’m serious. I might stop watching!)

Eddie meanwhile is much more open with his feelings in the sense that he is less open in general so it’s far more noticeable when something is bothering him *because* he is subtle about it. Because Buck is so loud and so open and all about what you see is what you get, you don‘t assume he is hiding anything because you already see everything, right? (Always hide the real shit in plain sight, you guys, that‘s where no one remembers to look!) But Eddie, Eddie keeps his cards close. Sure he is funny and nice but he is also fucking reserved! And when something bothers him he draws into himself even more and that’s something that shows, that people will take notice of.

Eddies reaction to bad things (also known as *feelings*, because that boy is fucking repressed) happening is running away. And I am not saying he is a coward, I am saying he probably thinks he is and I am saying he runs away from his problems - that’s what 3.15 was about for Eddie: embracing his family (his vulnerabilities) and from what I‘ve seen in the last few days floating around in spoiler *now* Eddie has to learn to face his problems and not run away.

Which will be hard because Eddie deflects a lot.

It‘s funny (in a way that is not funny) that Buck, the fighter, is like the least aggressive guy around while Eddie, Mr quiet and reserved, who is all about running away from his problems, is so physically aggressive - except it is not and makes a lot of sense.

Season 3 truly shows how they deal with problems and I love it, I love them and this show so much!

Because Buck deals with the bombing by working tirelessly to come back to work, he deals with losing Christopher by nearly killing himself trying to find him and he deals with his fear of being replaced by filing the lawsuit to get his job back - which is also why I have to agree with Eddie: Buck truly has a one track mind. He sees the problem and nothing else. That makes him an amazing firefighter but an exhausting guy to be around because he does not give up.

I think in canon we only ever see Buck give up twice, maybe three times once with Abby and once with Christopher, both times he nearly killed himself first. (And one could argue that neither of these times he actually gave up, he was just out of options and time.) Tbh the only actual time he gave up was with Ali and that was probably his one track mind just not having any capacity to deal with a girlfriend on top of everything.

Eddie meanwhile deals with his wife dying and his best friend nearly dying twice and his son being traumatised and his best friend not being allowed back to work and his best friend filing that lawsuit by ... not dealing with it. He just moves on. Runs away from his feelings and his pain by fighting. He can’t deal with - can’t fight - his actual feelings so he fights something else. He lashes out. Becomes feral. That’s literally the gist of this episodes voiceover!

So tbh as much as I like that they resolved that lawsuit within one episode I am a bit bummed that we hardly saw anything of the 118 and especially Eddie without Buck there (specifically during his fighting time) mainly because I think we would have seen Hen and Chimney with Cap and Eddie maybe with Lena but generally keeping his distance, hiding away from them. (I don’t think Eddie just brushing past Buck in 3.06 was just about Buck.)

I truly meant what I said about 2.01 and Eddie taking one look at Buck being an asshole and deciding this one is gonna be his friend. Because while Hen and Chimney have been nice and friendly with him from the get go, they never give him shit the same way they give each other or Cap or Buck, and Eddie needs that. He needs someone who isn’t afraid to call him out and push back, both to get Eddie out of his own head and to make him feel comfortable enough to do the same. Which is why he bonded so fast with Buck and Lena (also, would he have bonded with her like that if Buck had been there? Probably not. Eddie is like the definition of „I only have the emotional capacity to care about three people at a time and two of them are my son“), because both held him accountable for his shit, which no one else on the show does, specifically not Hen and Chimney who treat Eddie as the guy who is good at most things so they just overlook the shitty stuff. And Cap does the same, because Eddie has a lot on his plate and Cap understands his issues better than anyone else’s. 

Ya‘ll just need to watch the supermarket scene! It‘s all there!

Buck is in the store trying to create a moment so he can talk to all of them (meaning he is pushing, leaning into the problem until it gives), tries to make the problem go away by apologising (remember what I said about trying another way? Working hard didn’t work. Accepting his predicament didn‘t work. The lawsuit didn’t work. So now he tries talking it out - which he should have done to begin with, but hey, I’m not his therapist (sadly)) (It’s too bad it only worked to a certain level as we saw in the next episode but oh well, that’s actually realistic.)

Meanwhile Eddie has none of it because Eddie is currently running away from his problems so he can’t have his problem stand in front of him buying cat laxatives. So Eddie goes feral, and makes it all about Buck and his mistakes and then throws Christopher under the bus because that man is fighting for his life and he has nothing left to loose!!! I truly love this scene so much, you guys. It’s so revealing about these characters.

(I also shouldn’t have to point out that most of the stuff Eddie said to Buck was about Shannon, right? He was saying the things he was feeling about Shannon and he was throwing them at Buck because Buck was the one who brought it up, but also … look, it’s just ship-y from here all right?)

As for what I said about Hen, Bobby and Chimney in regards to Eddie? I know Chimney made some remarks but come on! Had it been any of them or Buck who yelled at someone like that they would have all interrupted and tried to diffuse the situation. But because it’s Eddie they sort of let it happen. (Also tbh because it’s Eddie and Buck and everyone is a little mad at Buck but they are something different to each other.)

Also, not to push my agenda, can we just talk about how comfortable  Eddie has to be with the 118 but especially Buck, how much he has to care, to scream at him like that? Because he is reserved and he always tries to let go of his feelings and he hides so much. And I know part of it is that Eddie is coiled too tight already and about to burst but it’s also about Buck and the fact that Eddie expected better from him because Eddie has such a high opinion of him. Like sure he gives him shit sometimes but I think it’s because Eddie always expects the most of Buck (and Buck rarely lets him down). (And now I did go all ship-y)

Just compare this with his relationship with Shannon: with Shannon Eddie always is the one to make decisions, in part because he believes that’s what a man should do but also in part because he doesn’t trust her - and that was even before she left. Eddie trusts no one but himself for the most part but he does trust Buck, because to Eddie Buck can hardly do wrong. Which is why the whole law suit probably hit him so hard cause he expects everyone to let him down all the time but Evan Buckley? The guy he trust with his son more than anyone else? That guy? He expected better off! And that my friends is beautiful.

As for the voiceover it does poise one very central question for Eddie’s character: If he gives up control, will he be able to regain it? Because that is Eddie’s biggest fear and why he always holds everything so tight: he thinks if he lets the floodgates open once, he’ll never be able to close them.

In other news: Ryan took his shirt off.

Episode 3.06:

Before I write another 2400 words about our boys, I wanna remind you of that scene of Bobby, Chimney and Eddie wearing sun glasses, with Hen wearing her normal glasses, standing round, looking like an album cover! *plays „Clique“ by Kanye West, Jay-Z, Big Sean*

Do you think Athena and Hen talked about Bobby and how he would / does handle Buck? They did, didn’t they?

Also love how Hen and Chimney are super welcoming because one, they know what it’s like to be the odd one out and two, they love Buck and actually see his point of view. I believe. Now if only someone would remember to tell him.

Like, come on, they probably sit in the ambulance gossiping all the time!

I really love that we saw some bonding between Buck and Hen and Buck and Chimney in this episode because as much as I love Buddie we do not see enough of those combos (we don’t see enough of Buddie either).

Also the whole two steps forward, one step back? That is Bobby in this episode.

Now, we have to talk about the apology scene because this is Buck, expressing himself, being vulnerable. I love this episode a lot especially in regards to this Meta because here we see all the things I explained for the last episode: Buck is expressing, trying his best to make the problem go away while Eddie avoids it.

Also, you know, there is the whole illegal fighting thing that is visible on Eddie and look, if you did something like that would you willingly spent time with the one person who will call you out on it or will you avoid him like the plague? Especially if the last time you saw him you were screaming bloody murder at him in the middle of a grocery store! And the next time you see him he calls you out for your bruising. Yeah, guys, that’s just realistic.

Also bit of a reach, but the reason this is part of my discussion of 3.06 and not 3.05, which is Eddie’s relationship to Buck. Remember how 3.03 ended? That beautiful moment that made Oliver Stark cry on Instagram live? Remember how Eddie said „It’s his turn to save you now.“? Yeah, what happened to that?

Okay, Eddie is not an expressive guy. He is bad with feelings. He hates having them. And here comes Evan „Buck“ Buckley and he is just the polar opposite. Sure, he’d rather not talk about his feelings either but he has a lot of them and he *likes* having all of them and he wallows in them and that is probably a lot for a guy like Eddie to deal with. Especially when I do think Eddie understands somewhat where Buck came from and he probably feels guilty af about making Buck feel like he was being replaced. About not seeing the pain Buck was in. About not being there for him - which is why he lashes out, because guilt can make the healthiest people do horrible shit and Eddie is far from any definition of healthy at that point.

But I do have to say I am reaching with this and if I ever meet Tim Minear I will have him explain the fight scene and the apology scene to me word for word because it has to be deeper, right?

It can’t just be Eddie lashing out, and saying exactly the things he knows will hurt Buck because he is mad mad mad? Yeah, I know, whatever.

(Because even if that is the case? This is still the scene where a guy uses his best friend as a substitute to get his anger for his dead wife out in a somewhat healthy manner.)

Which is why I love both these scenes immensely, because it shows exactly how differently Eddie and Buck deal with things, because Eddie avoids them or gets mad and screams at them while Buck, actually does something fairly healthy and try to talk it out - but like only as his last option. He tries anything but talking before that, except with Eddie because they are connected and he finally *finally* lets himself be emotionally vulnerable with Eddie.

Which is also why the apology scene is so important to me, despite thinking while a bit rash, Buck wasn’t exactly wrong in his actions. I would have hated if they just brushed the grocery store over or made it about Eddie and the issues he had at the time. Instead they gave us this beautiful scene where Buck finally - FINALLY - gets to explain himself to someone, especially Eddie, the guy who he hurt the most because Buck is his anchor, and Eddie actually listens and then he gets it and he is like, oh, I wasn’t wrong! He really deserves all my trust!

So you know, that’s just beautiful, wether it’s platonic or romantic.

Episode 3.07: no relevance

Episode 3.08:

I wanna say something right of the bat that is probably controversial as hell:

Eddie did not want to share with Bobby. Eddie likes Bobby, he trusts Bobby, but he wasn’t really feeling like sharing with Bobby.

The reason Eddie talked with Bobby about all of this? Well, first of all it was bound to happen, sometimes things need to be said and then it doesn’t really matter who you’re talking to.

Also Eddie? Boy Scout. Army man. Chain of Command. If your superior officer tells you to share - you share! There. I said it. (This is not a Bobby Nash - stan account)

Also: „A friend of mine told me I needed an outlet - think I found it.“ - no, you didn’t Buddy boy, it’s why I’m currently 10.000 words into an episode by episode analysis of your character! (can you tell I am slowly going off the rails with this?)

But I do love how we finally got to see sassy!Eddie again. I missed you, babe!

As for the kitchen scene and the look, yes, I know, Maddie was looking at them like that because she just called them out about gossiping and they turned around and gossiped, buuuut … ya’ll also realise that Chimney was apparently *not* aware that anything was wrong with Eddie when Eddie had been acting weird way longer then Hen. He nearly punched Buck in a grocery store, he comes in with new bruises like 3 times a week but sure mate, he is all normal! (Or you know, Buck is just hyperfocused on Eddie)

One thing that freaks me out every time I watch this episode is how completely fucking nonchalant Eddie seems by the fact that he nearly fucking killed a guy. To quote Lena Bosko, professional plot pusher: „What the hell, Eddie?“

And then of course 3.15 happened and we saw Eddie shoot multiple people, so he probably learned how to compartmentalise and I guess I need to remember this is a TV show and no one actually died. But wow, I really need this addressed more because I have such mixed feelings about this.

And with regards to this I wanna say something even more controversial: Eddie got off easy. Yes, the guy willingly went into that ring but Eddie nearly killed him and all Bobby wanted to talk about was why Eddie was fighting? Again: What the hell?

Another thing this episode firmly proofs is that Lena is really just a poor substitute for Buck because Eddie doesn’t actually know anything about her, he just uses her as a sounding board because, well, Buck wasn’t there and he was lonely?

As for the actual conversation happening, yes, there we have it, in plain sight, Eddie needs to be in control because he thinks this is what Christopher needs him to be and as I’ve said before Eddie will always do anything for Christopher, even if he hurts himself in the process.

Also, remember when Lena told him he needed to show and tell his son how he felt so Christopher knows it’s okay to feel that way as well? Clearly didn’t stick of he would not feel this intense need to be in control. Which is realistic, you don’t just unlearn behaviour you had for like 30 years just because someone gives you some good advice once! (Man, my life could be so different!)

I’m also not a fan of Bobby’s „She died.“ because while yes, it wasn’t her fault that she left this time, grief isn’t rational. And even without the looming divorce Eddie has every right to be upset and to be angry at the world, and yes, even his dead wife. She’s dead. It doesn’t hurt her anymore. (Although that would be one feeling he should probably keep from Christopher.)

Not to mention Eddie feels guilty as hell. His anger? Mostly at himself. The sentence “I broke his mother”? Broke me as well.

But I also understand Eddie because while he may be grieving, his son is clearly traumatised by the whole situation, as seen in 3.04, and Eddie is trying his best and look, his outlet wasn’t the healthiest but um, at least he realised he needed one? He addressed that? That’s growth (sorta).

Amount of shirtless!Eddie scenes: 2, which feels a bit like overkill for one episode (pace yourself, Tim, this isn’t Game of Thrones)

Episode 3.09:

Frank! My main man Frank! Ui, I love him! When Tim calls me to come consult for Season 4 because clearly by now I am an expert on his characters and the way they should act, I will tell him to bring Frank back. I miss Frank. I hope he’s doing okay. He deserves the world. Also really wanna meet Rosemary.

And hey, as someone who has worked in the mental health sector and probably will again come October (if I manage to finish my degree by then, urgh, Corona, you are destroying my thesis!), I love that scene on the sofa so much! All of them openly sharing that they have been in therapy and talking about their therapists and just, uh, that scene makes me all tingly!

Before we get into all the emotional things I’m just gonna add the scene on the sofa to my list of scene I don’t fully understand. Like, what emotion exactly was Eddie supposed to be conveying because to me he sounds angry. And why should Eddie be angry about Buck sleeping with his therapist? What reason could he have?

Okay, yeah, maybe it’s a little exasperation and annoyance because apparently Evan Buckley is just coasting through life and doesn’t even take therapy seriously. Idk. I haven’t read the script.

But it does lead us to Buck giving Eddie shit, because, as I’ve said before, that’s what Buck does.

As for the therapy scene, yay, there is a mention of the nearly dead guy! Who is not dead. Yay!

I do love Eddie’s reasons for going to therapy and really trying, even though he is not clicking with Frank. He is such a good dad! (Also I’ve been debating for like 20 minutes whether Eddie would be more comfortable sharing with a woman or with a man and for some reason (his connection with Buck vs his relationship with Shannon) I think he’d be more comfortable with a man. Idk. I could be wrong. - Also Eddie is probably always uncomfortable talking about his feelings, so there is that!) His reasoning shows also yet again what I said about both Buck and Eddie before: they are protectors. They will make themselves vulnerable to help someone else. It’s a thing.

Also I pulled out my pocket edition of ICD-10 to check and while we don’t have enough information to give a full diagnosis, it’s safe to say that he is supposed to be going through a depressive episode. Because yes, sometimes depressed people aren’t sad, sometimes they are fucking angry.

Now, as for the Evan Buckley of it all and that scene: I read another Meta by someone clearly much better at this than me that stated Eddie uses Sarcasm as a way to deflect, which is exactly what is happening here because Eddie is not as fine with everything that happened as he pretends to be. I think he has just come to the sudden and horrible conclusion that his tipping point has been Buck no longer being in his life and so he decided it was easier to just move on then deal with his feelings (which is what got you into this mess in the first place, Edmundo, so please rethink,) if that means Buck back in his life.

I also think Eddie deflects here because he realises how much what he did and what he said actually hurt Buck in return and Eddie doesn’t fully know how to deal with that. And look, if they actually start discussing their issues then Eddie will have to admit his guilt and Eddie will have to say he’s sorry and right then he is still too pissed to do so, so he decides to move on.

Ah, the wonderful clash of Eddie thinking actions speak louder than words but Buck needing to hear the actual words.

Sidenote: I sent the kitchen scene to my roommate, stopped before they played the video game and asked her what she thinks happened next. And to quote „Love me <3 <3 <3. Please fuck me“ - because yes, she did take one look at them and decide the one with the puppy dog eyes was a bottom. That’s also a quote.

Episode 3.10:

Eddie really is trying so hard to be a good dad, isn’t he?

I also love the little head shake Eddie gives after Chris ask Buck about spending Christmas with him, because he clearly has already talked about the whole thing with Buck. And I’m not gonna talk about the framing. Other’s have done that before and I don’t actually know that much about it in first place.

Also it is cute as all hell that Chris asked Buck in the first place and also heartbreaking.

Other than that this episode doesn’t have that much of a relevance for this meta, because if I have to start discussing Buck’s other issues as well this will never be done.

Before I let you go, I wanna say something real quick:

In the past few days there have been several posts about content creators and liking vs commenting / reblogging on my dash and I just wanna say this is true for meta writers as well! Look, I love everyone who likes this because validation, but I’m not actually writing this meta for myself, I’m writing this because I have thoughts and I wanna share them with the rest of the class and have the class discuss it with me!

So please, reblog this and comment under or in the tags or come to my ask or my messages, even if it’s only to tell me that my punctuation is shit! 

Anyways, @angelcamael and @greyhello here’s part 3!

[bts-fic-collection]

And with that, the survey is now closed to responses! Thank you very much to everyone who gave me feedback, it’s been very useful to know what all of you think of the blog, and the ways in which some of you think the blog could be improved. The results I’m about to give you are based on 88 responses, so clearly it doesn’t reflect all of you, but hopefully it’s a big enough sample size to get a good idea of what everyone thinks.

So, without further ado, here are the results of the survey!

-85% of you mostly use tumblr on mobile, which is very interesting to know!

-About 75% of you do use my tag masterlists at least some of the time, which is very good for me to know, because putting those together took a long time 😂

-98% of you like my tagging! This is also very good to know, because I do try my best to tag we well as I can.

-The results of the ship popularity surprised me! Most importantly I was impressed to see that every two-person ship had at least a few people saying it was one of their favourite ships! You’re all galaxy brained rarepair shippers like me!

-60% of the you have submitted an ask or fic at some point, which doesn’t really affect anything, but is still interesting to know!

-It’s also good to know that most of you go to my blog page in order to see my recs - as shown by one of my favourite responses:

-Most importantly, the main reason I wanted to check with you all the ways in which you use the blog, 95% of you thought that the blog would benefit from the tag masterlists being available on mobile, which makes sense if you’re mostly all on mobile.

-Also I just want to say thank you to everyone who said some variation of ‘you’re doing a great job’ - I really appreciate it! I also appreciate the person who under the suggestions said ‘keep vibing’, which is great advice.

So what now?

There are a number of genuinely excellent ideas which were submitted in the suggestions question, and I am genuinely going to (attempt to) implement most of them.

1. Since everyone wants the tags on mobile, I’m going to work on getting that up and running in the next few days.

2. One person suggested that I have a pinned post (thank you tumblr, for making pinned posts a thing!) with blog info and links in it, and my plan is for the masterlists to be tagged there, as well as some of the other ideas that I’ll talk about in a minute.

3. Another person suggested giving tips on how tags work on ao3, so that people don’t always need to ask me for things - and while this definitely shouldn’t deter you from sending in asks if you want to, I’m already now in the middle of making a post on how to work ao3 and how to efficiently search for specific fics, which I hope will help you all. This will hopefully be linked in the pinned post.

4. Another person suggested that I should check older posts for dead links and deleted fics, which I’ll hopefully get round to at some point soon (but I have ~2000 posts on here so that’s definitely going to be an ongoing project.)

5. The same person suggested a ‘last updated’ feature on incomplete fics so you know whether it might be abandoned, which I think is an excellent idea and I’m going to try my best to do moving forward.

6. One person who said they were newer to the fandom said they had a bit of trouble with knowing which ships were which based on name - and so I’m also working on a guide to all the main ships (which I know there are probably a million other ship guides out there, but hey, it’s fun to do and I’ve already started it). The plan is for this to also be linked in the pinned post.

7. Another suggestion which I liked was a ‘monthly highlights’ arrangement where I share my favourite fics of the month - it just seems fun, so I might start that either this month or next month.

8. One other suggestion was that it might be an idea to add whether fics had any warnings attached - and while I do usually try to tag these, I realise now it may not always be clear which fic the tag applies to, so in cases where it does apply, it will appear in the info for the fic itself.

9. I’m also going to adapt one of the suggestions, which was to close the ask box at the end of the week so as to not get too many asks, and my adaption is going to be the idea of working on a ‘one week on, one week off’ system. This means that the ask box would be open for a week, and then closed for a week, and then open etc. Hopefully this will be a better system than the one I have now, so that it works better for everyone.

10. The last suggestion which I liked was having a different ship featured each week - and while I may not do this every week, the idea of having a week somewhat dedicated to a specific ship is a good one, so look out for me doing that at some point!

One last time, thank you to everyone who took the time to take the survey, and especially thank you to those of you who came up with these great ideas! The survey was anonymous, so unfortunately I cannot thank you personally, but I am very grateful to all of you!! 💜💜

[sokkathebluewolf]

½ Hello! Thank you for responding to my first question. Before I ask anything else, I just want to say that I think this whole online-community (your Tumblrs, etc) is wonderful! I've joined your Patreon too –– just trying to show some rightful appreciation. Next, I have some spoiler-based questions (requist-ions?). 1) I've read your comments about not pleasing everyone with your story and taking it in your own direction. I completely agree -- that's what makes your story good, that it is yours.

2/2 But, regarding Zhao and Azula –– please, please no sex. If there is . . . well I'll keep reading because I'm hooked, but I'll feel pretty terrible for a while. 2) Regarding part 3's arcs and timing. You've written that Sokka/Azula will be together 4–5 arcs, and I'm assuming those are the ending arcs. Part 1 was 12 arcs, Part 2 is planned at 25 (If I counted correctly). If part 3 is in the middle, that's like 16 arcs of separation! Separated = sad Sokkla = sad readers! Will there be happy ...

3/2 (oops!) happy moments interspersed? Plus, ~16 arcs --> even posting once a week (pretty please!) that's two and a half years for us! Have mercy!

Thank you for the Patreon pledge! :D and for the asks and good-hearted support. I hope you’ll continue to enjoy the story, going forward. Though... if you don’t mind, I’ll be answering your first point under a Read More? xD

As for your second point... the thing is, Part 3 is mostly planned by now, almost in its entirety, and I can certainly... confirm about 21 arcs, and I’m not even done with fully developing those arcs/plans? So there’s going to be even more than that. Heh. Hehe. Oops. The reason, of course, why those arcs aren’t listed in the Navigator is because... spoilery titles? :’D Though I will say, in all likelihood most these arcs will be shorter than Part 2′s arcs have been so far... so hopefully I won’t be facing an insanely longer Part 3 than Part 2 already was? :’D H-hopefully...?

As for happy moments interspersed here and there... yes. I have previously been known to say Sokka and Azula won’t ever be able to contact each other through Part 3, but that’s part of the plans that have changed slightly... NOT massively, I’ll admit, but there will be at least two instances where they’ll connect and communicate despite the physical distance between them. Beyond that, there will be positive moments, Azula will have several characters around her who will certainly make her new life far more bearable (a lot of ulterior motives behind many of my choices in Part 2 have been to establish these connections so she won’t be completely alone in the future). There will be good moments that will lighten the constant misery we’re all probably bracing ourselves for, despite there will most likely be a sense of heaviness across the entirety of Part 3.

And yeah, I do understand your concerns about the update schedule x’D I think eventually I’ll switch to weekly updates, but I probably should have a thicker barrier between myself and release before I do that. Sounds crazy, considering I’m writing in advance and I’m quite far ahead, but... I am, indeed, at the very gates of Part 3? Which means I am... reluctant to write lately. A bit. :’D but rest assured, once things get very intense for you guys and I have a big enough amount of chapters to go around, I’ll switch to weekly updates for sure :)

And now....

The thing with Zhao isn’t, well, gratuitous torture to make Azula sad, if that makes sense? :’D granted, the motivation that will lead a certain someone to make this match is, indeed, to punish Azula, as I’ve said in the ask I answered before... 

But Azula will have strong reasons to accept and endure this dreadful situation. If she didn’t, she would never allow something like this to happen and she’d sooner challenge her father to an Agni Kai than accept his terms. So... let’s just say Part 3 Azula is all about protecting those she cherishes most, and sadly, she has to do a lot of difficult, painful things to achieve that.

I think by the time the scene you’re dreading arrives, it hopefully won’t be quite as awful as you expect? At least, I can guarantee Zhao isn’t going to demand for anything from her. As I said in the other ask, he’s as unwilling to do this, out of respect for Azula, as Azula herself is. I don’t know if that’s going to be any consolation, but if I do happen to write a certain scene along the lines of what you’re afraid of... it won’t be gratuitous nor will it trivialize the situation by any means. I think what Suki endured in Shu Wo was far more graphic (and I deliberately refrained from outright writing it, mainly just implied it, because it was absolutely appalling to me...) than what I’ll ever dare write happening to Azula. Despite I know what the plot demands better than anyone, it doesn’t hurt me any less to write it, believe it or not :(

So... well, I hope you won’t be too brokenhearted once we get to Part 3, but can I offer you the hopes of a positive ending after the storm has passed? :’D and yes, Azula and Sokka will certainly return to each other by Part 3′s final arcs. I’ll probably go wild with those arcs after keeping them apart for longer than I could ever have wanted them to stay away from each other, if that’s any consolation too? x’D my shipper heart will definitely make its demands by the time we get there. Either way, the dark times both Azula and Sokka will face will come as consequences of their actions, as well as other people’s actions, and I intend for all of it to be logical and follow the sense of the plot. I really dislike the notion of writing for shock value, so even the very nastiest of my decisions are usually done for the sake of a payoff that should, hopefully, make everything worth it.

So, like I said to the anon earlier... I shall hope you stick around and enjoy what can be enjoyed? There will be brighter times within the dark ones, and I do have several Part 3 scenes I am really looking forward to writing, especially the uplifting ones, and the somewhat unexpected, happy surprises the story will feature that, I hope, will lessen the blows of the guaranteed angst we’re all definitely going to suffer over.

Thanks for the asks! :)

[brainy-storm]

S415 - Where you at, bro? (½)

General Thoughts:

ahahaha I knew Eve was bad but dang she had no regrets, wow. Unapologetically a bad guy. Nice.

I found the storyline with Manchester a bit odd, hmm. And the way he died was very...unceremonious. I’m hoping he’s not actually dead, hm.

LEX LUTHOR. But I’ll have a section on him later.

I think that the CW writes family dynamics, really well in this episode. Especially all the sibling dynamics, just good.  (which is why my next sections will be split in families)

The Danvers:

I like how Alex is so concerned over James, because yeah they’re all friends and she’s also just like ‘where are you’ Kara because she’s worried their friend is about to die and Kara isn’t around

And it just shows ooooof this mind wipe thing is even more painful

But Kara is also trying to help J’onn, who is torn over his family

And he can’t bear to lose Kara or Alex because that would be like losing his family all over again i cri

And then Kara telling J’onn he’s important to her and Alex no matter what

And then Alex and Kara hugging it out

I LOVE THIS FAMILY

J’onn and Manchester:

Just before moving onto the other families, I just find it very weird for J’onn to go from 0 of no violence to the 100 of killing.

There must have been a way to apprehend Manchester. unless, again he’s not actually dead which would be good

But I am glad that if he did kill Manchester, he’s already reflecting on it and there might be repercussions.

why do I also feel like idk...Manchester might have recorded the whole thing to see an ‘alien’ kill a ‘human’ and then it would cause more tension and have a war. But maybe I just watch too many dramatic shows haha

The OIsens:

I mean James was mostly asleep but it was interesting to learn a bit more about him. Like how he had to run away from home before. And how he’s been to the hospital like 12 times cause of stuff like wow James. So this must date pre-Guardian stuff, like dang.

Anyway, I liked Kelly’s introduction

I give her my good-sister stamp of approval for not agreeing to go with Lena’s solution right away because yeah, she didn’t know Lena through anyone but James, and they hadn’t met so it makes sense. It seems like a realistic kind of reaction and I can see myself doing the same in that situation 

But she also wanted to take the chance to save her brother when things seemed bleak and saw that she should trust in her brother’s friends (or chosen family, as she called it which got meeee)

Oof she needs

Also leaving James with the phone to talk to his mum - YEP. SIBLINGS. 

The Luthors:

The whole time I was screaming LENA HE TRYIN TO TRICK YOU.

I mean she kinda knew but also kinda fell for it a bit.

I feel bad for her cause she thought her brother was dying, even though he’s an evil person, she still cares for him as a brother. And then he told her about her mother which is WOW but  yeah after getting her whole backstory with her mother, I see why he got to her like that

And his acknowledgement of her achievements was good too. She deserved that, at the very least from her family.

The Luthor dynamic was really good, like just how I wanted it to be. Excellent.

ALSO OTIS. WAs alive daNG. Mate. I thought maybe Mercy might have been alive but it was Otis wowow. That reveal also got me cause I was like good that guard can drop that water cause he knows Lex is a SHIT. But it was Otis like well done dude I actually 0% saw that coming.

Eve just changing her outfit to be typical bad-guy was lol but also perfect.

Poor Lena’s face, though when she saw Eve betrayed her.

Lex freakin Luthor:

AHAHAHA

YESSSS. I like it. I love that they just made him like ‘I’m a bad guy, and I know it.’ Like he knows people see him as a villain and he’s like ‘yeah I do what I want’

Straight up just murders everyone.

Idk I just like villains where it’s a clear cut ‘aha, yes, BAD MAN IS BAD’. But also smart. so like Supergirl can just try and fight him without constraint, cause he’s LEX LUTHOR who murders people seemingly for fun (or at least just with complete disregard)

Also, I love how he calls James ‘Jimmy’ to mock him, and like I bet he already disapproved of the relationship with Lena because he’s like public friends with Superman (signal watch ahem), and then ofc got him shot like yeaaah.

They probs won’t try and get Supes down cause it’s Supergirl’s show but I hope that someone tells him all about this later.

Or we get like a space-text with a ‘Good job Kara :) ‘( I missed those cute texts from season 1)

Nia:

I like how Nia is shown to be integrated to their group, like even though she hasn’t been part of it for long, she has been there for the game nights and James is her first boss (yes?) (or one of her first boss’), and he’s given her advice and actually she came out to James before she did to Kara so I feel like the emotional bond is there for her to be really upset over this. 

I also see why she jumps to saying she should have predicted this, because she already predicted and failed to save her mother, and - though the show doesn’t say this - maybe she thought that since becoming a superhero and getting her powers she should’ve been able to predict things like this. Maybe the show will say it later (hopefully)

In a way, she’s also with her chosen family, after what happened with her sister. which hopefully we’ll follow up on, one day

Brainy:

Okay so, like you know how I love Brainy? (whaat? brainy-storm? You love BRAINY? REALLY? ok ok shh)

Firstly, him blaming himself was on point for this, because he has so much pride and expectation on himself and feels responsible, he thought he should have been able to predict this all and should have been able to fly into CatCo and do this before it happened arghhh.

It’s also in line with his character from s3 where he was frustrated about not being able to get the signal to space, or in 4x04 where he was upset he couldn’t think of anything to help Supergirl --- which he does bring up

HE FINALLY MENTIONED HIS FAMILY. AND THEY’RE ALL EVIL. BOO YAH. 

I mean, poor Brainy.

But seriously, so from that I’m taking O.G Brainy [which hasn’t happened yet because if Brainiac came to Earth I feel like they would knowww  soo...future storyline?] But also Brainy’s evil mum from reboot so yessss. And more too probs.

And Mon-El being dismissive - I wonder if this is in like a general sometimes the legion is harsh/dismissive or is this in a threeboot like leadership battle with Cosmic Boy kind of way. 

Both the ancestry and the Mon-El mention I feel deserve to have longer explanations and I wishhhhh he could have elaborated.

And then him saying he had to move his whole existence MY POOR BRAINY

HE JUST WANTS A CHOCO

Anyway, I just want to say Jesse Rath freaking smashed it. Like seriously, his scenes were not going to affect the main storyline of this episode but he was like THIS IS MY CHARACTER PIECE AND I WILL PERFORM THE HELL OUT OF IT.

If you click on this link you can see a tweet that shows that Jesse Rath bled after punching that vending machine. 1. I hope he takes care of himself 2. but I appreciate this effort like wow 

Era? I think a mix of all eras were channelled here well.   

shipper thoughts, as usual, will be on 2/2 but yeah I ship kara x brainy so pfft this episode was not great for me in that aspect but that, firmly  aside I thought it was very good 

[theonyxpath]

Yes, we’re down to the last week of the Contagion Chronicle Kickstarter – and so I know you’ll all be sad to know that it’s my last week of coming up with awful pun-ny titles for this blog based on the KS.

(Never fear, in several weeks we’ll be starting the Pirates of Pugmire Kickstarter campaign, and you KNOW I’ll have pirate titles for the run on that!)

(Of course, I may just title them “Yarrr!1”, “Yarrr!2”, and so on.)

But back to The Contagion Chronicle!

We’re looking to finish strong on Thursday, so this is really the home stretch. Hopefully, at this point, backers are able to tell whether the project is intriguing them based on the text that’s almost done being released.

And hopefully, folks who are wondering about backing have seen enough from backers posting here and on social media, and the various Actual Play vids that Matthew and James have linked to, to give the project a shot.

Remember, you can back for a mere pittance and get the chance the review the text yourself without being locked in to pledging at the end. Well, at least until it really is the end on Thursday – at that point Kickstarter charges everybody!

Also, by backing at a bit more than a mere pittance, you’ll also receive links to the PDFs of the two Stretch Goal projects that have been being built up throughout the course of the Kickstarter when they are finished. More locations and some alternative rules in the one, and guides to crossovers on a more nuts and bolts level in the other.

Adventures For Curious Cats illustration by Pat Loboyko

Mighty Matt McElroy wanted me to thank all of you that made our 20th Anniversary WoD books PDF sale a huge success! We’re thrilled that so many of you took it as a chance to catch up on some of the WoD20 books you hadn’t yet checked out! Thanks!

He also mentioned reminding all you awesome people that we have two sales on physical books going on at Indie Press Revolution: for physical hardback copies of the Pathfinder rules edition of the Scarred Lands Players Guide, and for the Deluxe 20th Anniversary physical books that IPR still have in stock.

Or, if you prefer, Studio2 also has the Scarred Lands Players Guide – Pathfinder edition – physical books on a deep discount sale right now. You can check out the links below in the BLURBS!

We’ll be having some very cool info about the Scarred Lands Creature Collection for 5e coming up in the next few weeks, so keep an eye out for that. I’ll say this now, the monster art is looking gorgeous!

Book of Oblivion illustration by Drew Tucker

Following up on last week, we immediately started using the new Errata Form for the Geist 2e and Trinity Continuum KS backers as Backer PDFs went out to them.

So far, the form seems to be working fantastically, so thanks to all of you who have used it for sending us your feedback on these two projects!

Along with that, it’s our plan to wrap up the situation with the Scion 2e errata this week. Neall is working on a message for our Scion community to go with the fixes and a downloadable errata sheet, and our shipper is supposed to start sending out all the KS packages this week.

Our apologies to everyone concerned, frustrated, maddened, or just confused by this whole thing. We truly appreciate everyone’s patience in letting us take the time to delve into what happened, and the extent of the number of errata fixes that got “unfixed”.

It’s like that warning on airlines to don your oxygen mask before assisting others. We had to end our own confusion before we could explain what happened and how we’re dealing with it. And that’ll come later this week.

Dystopia Rising: Evolution illustration by Marco Gonzales

One other thing I wanted to note, which came out of the Scion errata thing, but has popped up before, is that when I’m writing this blog, I generally have to bear in mind that for any given situation I’m trying to address, there are many segments of our community I’m addressing.

What I mean is that sometimes I will make a point during discussing one thing that is also addressing other concerns that other members of our community have. These are folks that maybe don’t feel comfortable voicing their concerns in the dangerous seas of social media, but who have sent me private messages. I need to be responsive to them – but I don’t want to “out” them.

(And there are also those private messages that rip me a new one, that I also don’t share because I’m not here to get into flame-wars, but which have items in them that aren’t true and I don’t want to leave unaddressed).

In both those kinds of cases, if you see a series of messages and I respond and seem to veer off to talk about something else that’s not directly prompted by the thread – this is what is probably on my mind with my answer.

After all, we have a community containing folks of all ages, all kinds of interests, all walks of life, and who may love one, some, or all of our game worlds, and I need to always bear that in mind and try and give everybody the connections they need to explore our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

Now in it’s LAST FEW DAYS, the Contagion continues to spread, passing 1275 backers and infecting all in its path with more and more Stretch Goals! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/200664283/contagion-chronicle-a-chronicles-of-darkness-cross

The Contagion Chronicle actual play continues on the Onyx Path YouTube channel! https://youtu.be/WR92yIuafU4

He also asks for your Contagion Chronicle-related questions here: https://youtu.be/axvrFeQOvEg

Matthew’s interview on Flames Rising about Contagion Chronicle: http://www.flamesrising.com/matthew-dawkins-is-infected-with-the-contagion-chronicle/

Our next Kickstarter starting in several weeks will be for Pirates of Pugmire!

ONYX PATH MEDIA

Illustration by Charles Bates

On this Friday’s Onyx Pathcast, our team takes a deep dive into the epic “Greco-Apocalyptic” fantasy of The Scarred Lands game line! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

And Here’s More Media About Our Worlds:

It’s a new episode of the Onyx Path News from host, Matthew Dawkins: https://youtu.be/Cjqey_N3_jQ

Matthew also lets loose several previews regarding Mummy: The Curse Second Edition here: https://youtu.be/X9lbz4TWY9s

If YOU have a podcast, YouTube or Twitch channel, or talk about games on a blog or other website, and want to perform actual plays or make reviews of our games, please reach out to the Gentleman Gamer on the Onyx Path forum. From there we’ll share emails and get you started, so when you do start producing content we’ll be able to promote it on our blog and YouTube channel!

The Contagion Chronicle actual play continues on the Onyx Path YouTube channel! https://youtu.be/WR92yIuafU4

Red Moon Roleplaying have commenced their actual play of Scarred Lands, in a campaign Matthew Dawkins is running named The Great Vilhaim Heist! https://youtu.be/QUFVS4g6gDg

Caffeinated Conquests also continue with their foray into the Scarred Lands, with the Gauntlet of Spiragos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lVL40fkPX8

And as if that wasn’t enough, Devil’s Luck Gaming are still hard at it on the dangerous seas of Scarred Lands on their Twitch channel! https://www.twitch.tv/DEVILSLUCKGAMING

The Story Told Podcast have not one but two shows for you to check out, as they continue their chronicle of Dragon-Blooded for Exalted 3rd Edition, and have even reviewed it today! https://thestorytold.libsyn.com/

Here’s the Gamer’s Table again with their They Came from Beneath the Sea! actual play: http://gamerstable.com/cheesy-sci-fi-horror/

Cheesy Sci-Fi/Horror

And Occultists Anonymous, the Mage: The Awakening chronicle, also continues here: https://youtu.be/i4NNs_G0NNw

If Vampire is your thing, here’s an actual play of the Blood War for Vampire: The Requiem on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhai2P1uktAzDEch4d1r2JZir0VqUrBQJ

And the Dramatic Failure podcast crew continue with their Geist: The Sin-Eaters chronicle too! https://dramaticfailure.podbean.com/

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

Here’s an update from the App devs:

Onyx Dice!  We’ve recently released the Changeling: The Lost, Trinity Continuum: Aeon dice, and now the Geist dice.  Next up on our radar is: Demon: The Fallen,  Mummy: The Resurrection,  Kindred of the East, Vampire Dark Ages, and Mummy: The Curse.

We have a serious issue on the Pixel and Motorola phones that prevent the user from using the app correctly.  A fix is coming shortly.  A temporary workaround is to minimize the app without shutting it down, and then restore it.

ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio 2: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can now order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

The Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) and WoD 20th Anniversary Deluxe sales on IPR are still going until the end of the month!: https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Deals-and-Specials/

DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, we’ll be offering our monthly Exalted 3rd PDF releases on DriveThruRPG!

CONVENTIONS

UK Games Expo: May 31st – June 2nd From the US comes Eddy Webb, Matt McElroy, and Rich Thomas to join with Matthew Dawkins, Steffie de Vann, John Burke, Chris Allen, and Klara Herbol! Gen Con: August 1st – August 4th Save Against Fear: Oct 12-14 GameHoleCon: October 31st – November 3rd We’ll also be back at PAX Unplugged later this year.

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Wraith20 Fiction Anthology (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

DR:E Jumpstart (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Redlines

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

TC: Aeon Ready Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Heroic Land Dwellers (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Blood Sea: Crimson Abyss for 5e (Scarred Lands)

DR:E Threat Guide (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Let The Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Development

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Manuscript Approval:

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Editing:

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Post-Editing Development:

C20 Novel: Cup of Dreams (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

V5 Chicago By Night Screen (Vampire: The Masquerade)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Indexing:

Trinity Core

Trinity Aeon

ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

Ex3 Monthly Stuff  

Chicago By Night – Art coming in slowly but surely.

They Came From Beneath the Sea!

EX3 Lunars

Hunter: The Vigil 2

Contagion Chronicle – KS.

VtR Spilled Blood – Hiring artists.

M20 Book of the Fallen – Contracted.

Dark Eras 2 – Getting artnotes in from devs.

CoM – Witch Queen of the Shadowed Citadel – Contracted.

Pirates of Pugmire – KS art contracted, sketches and finals coming in.

Marketing Stuff

In Layout

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – With Josh.

Shunned By the Moon

Scion Jumpstart

Aeon Aexpansion

Proofing

C20 Player’s Guide – At WW for approval.

The Realm

Book of Oblivion – Inputting last corrections.

Dragon-Blooded Screen – At WW for approval.

Signs of Sorcery – First Proof.

Trinity Core and Aeon Screens

At Press

Scion Hero – At Studio2, preparing to ship to backers.

Scion Origin – At Studio2, preparing to ship to backers.

Scion Dice – At Studio2, preparing to ship to backers.

Scion Screen – At Studio2, preparing to ship to backers.

Fetch Quest – Shipped to backers, prepping PoD version.

In Media Res – PDF out to backers, gathering errata with new sheet.

Geist 2e – PDF out to backers, gathering errata with new sheet.

Scarred Lands Spell Cards – PoD proofs ordered.

Adventures for Curious Cats – Going out to backers.

Tales of Excellent Cats – Going out to backers.

TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE: 

Today is Earth Day, and we live here, so let’s celebrate doing what we can to keep Gaia alive!

[walkingtheplankonasinkingship]

Well, it’s Fic Writer Appreciation Day, so what better time to make a rec list that no one asked for?

These are just a few of my favorites. I definitely haven’t read all of the legendary KiriBaku fics, so I know there are some amazing pieces that I missed. I also limited myself to only 2 per author and 20 total, so I highly recommend checking out some of the other works by some of these authors!

Hopefully all the links and the cut on this works, because it’s gonna be long.

Students at UA

acceptance and denial by @vikingpoteto

It all goes okay when Kirishima decides to come out to his friends and it all goes wrong when decides that Bakugou is the best fake boyfriend material.

G. Fake dating while still at UA. First fic I ever read and I don’t regret it!

Pro Heroes

slow it down (go easy on me) by @newamsterdame

When a confrontation with a villain throws Bakugou through time, he's forced to face a future he never imagined, and maybe something he can't leave behind.

T. The time travel fic that puts all others to shame.

the fool’s rush by @chonideno

Settling down with each other is naturally what comes after being dorm neighbors for years. It’s time to navigate through adulthood together, to live the daily grind of being pro-heroes, to learn more than they thought they’d like to know about each other, about themselves.

T. Mutual pining with a side of hurt/comfort? Yes, please!

Coming Up for Air by @ellieb3an

Kirishima learns to cope with the trauma of having been trapped in his own quirk, and Bakugo helps him through it.

T. I don’t have any commentary to add that wouldn’t be a spoiler. Just know that I REALLY love this one.

Six Page Spread by @indigonow

They're 22 and Bakugou's finally gotten control over his public image. Think more..."bad boy" and less "explosive asshole".

E. Ongoing. At this point, I think every KiriBaku shipper is already reading this one, but it’s too good not to rec!

Black Out by @kiribakurecs

After a fight gone wrong, Bakugou suffers from irreversible amnesia. Kirishima tries to put him back together again.

T. Ongoing. It’s still early in the story, but I was hooked within the first two paragraphs.

Fantasy AU

such a funny pair by @ellieb3an

6-year-old Katsuki runs away from home and forms an unlikely friendship with the dragon hatchling that has been stalking him through the woods.

G. Nothing should be allowed to be this cute. It will melt even the coldest of icy hearts.

The King of the Mountain by @kobonibomibo

Rumors of the barbarian king are easy to come by, but few have actually lived to tell.

U. Nothing explicit happens, just jokes. But holy crap, I was in stitches from laughing.

what’s a secret amongst friends by @electricitylightning

The five times Bakugou nearly finds out Kirishima’s part dragon and the one time he actually does.

T. Chaotic Bakusquad shenanigans in the fantasy AU. What more could I ask for?

Other AUs

but i’ve got an angry heart by @newamsterdame

Bakugou Katsuki is not going to jeopardize his future a second time, and that means staying away from anyone who gets too close. Kirishima Eijirou has never learned how not to be close to someone. Of course, they end up as next-door neighbors.

T. Quirkless college AU. I don’t know what to say. Words cannot convey how much I recommend reading this fic.

neon season by @chonideno

how kirishima and bakugou share food, beds, bodies, and refuse to admit they want it to last

T. Quirkless AU. Fan fic is not an accurate description of what this is. This is a fucking experience. The mood is incredible and the emotions are intense. It’s a must read.

A Meme A Day by PorcelainRose

Kirishima's always been happy to meet people and make new friends. Needless to say, he's ecstatic when he's informed that he's finally getting assigned a roommate after a month of living alone in a dorm room. He's more than happy to welcome his new roommate with a smile and help him out with anything he needs. He isn't expecting, however, to meet a seriously attractive blonde with intense irises that shine with his favorite color, and who he also has trouble keeping his own eyes off of.

T. Ongoing, but updates weekly. Quirkless High School AU. Super cute and low angst, but it is definitely a slow burn. I look forward to this one every week.

Beating in Time by @patster223

To be honest, it never occurs to Kirishima to actually tell Bakugou that he’s a vampire. Bakugou is the most observant guy on the planet; surely he’s already figured it out. Right?

T. Vampire AU. What can I say, I love some high quality hurt/comfort content, and this is definitely it.

you and I might just be the best thing by @vikingpoteto

Kirishima has the bad habit of falling in love with assholes - and then he meets Bakugou.

T. Quirkless College AU. Kirishima is a pining fool and I love him!

will you lead me? by @kiribakus

If the wolf is going to follow Bakugou into town, the least he can do is pretend he's not a wild animal.

T. Werewolf AU. Perfection. The dynamics between the characters are great, the werewolves are done in a way that I love, and the worldbuilding is beautiful.

Make You Cry (AKA Major Character Death)

Finding home by Save1410

Inko gasped when her eyes fell on Katsuki. “Oh my lord! A kitsune!” His eyes were wide as she passed by her son and kneeled down in front of him. “Oh my oh my. Look at you poor thing!”

T. Baby kitsune Bakugou must find his place in the world after the death of his parents.

Winters Home by @red-rioting

After his release from the hospital the first thing he had done in weeks was buy a large bouquet of flowers, different varieties of reds and orange, from roses to tulips. All the flowers he knew Kirishima admired the most and drove out to the hiking trail, his feet crushing the brown fallen leaves that scattered the ground as he walked the trail.

G. A near-death experience temporarily brings Bakugou together with his lost love. I never cry. I made the mistake of reading this at work and had to hide my tears. It’s so good, if you can handle the sadness I highly recommend!

Non-KiriBaku

saltwater room by reapers

It starts —like all ideas that inevitably lead to one’s downfall do— with something akin to this: Midoriya Izuku. Midoriya Izuku and a five-story house by the beach, completely devoid of any entry-fee --save for the one where Todoroki has to pretend to be Deku’s boyfriend.

All-in-all though, not an awful price to pay for the vacation of their dreams, right?

Right?

T. Tododeku. Quirkless AU. Fake dating.  Kinda has the feel of the beachouse part of quote love unquote (which I also recommend even if it’s not technically on this list). Has some great character dynamics.

The Legend of DKFSTA by @kiribaku-some-cute-stuff

Sero gets roped the worst god damned slumber party game of all time.

T. Light Seroroki. Remember the game MASH? The girls make Sero play a game similar to that. There’s a ton of teasing and it’s funny as hell.

fall from the sky with several flowers by @gaybirdkid

Shouto struggles with his overwhelming emotions after Hanta is injured. He doesn't do well with being powerless.

T. Seroroki. Established relationship. Third years at UA. A beautiful piece about a painfully small rare pair.

[westallenfun]

Before the Hood - 1/6

For @jade4813 from @backtothestart02​ -I’m not going to lie. This gets pretty angsty pretty quickly and ends on a bittersweet note. But it’s meant to be the prequel to my Robin Hood westallen AU that I plan to write eventually (yes, this is a Robin Hood AU, you got me), and that fic will end very happily, so if you’d like, you can consider that your fic too. I hope you’re able to enjoy this fic though!

I so appreciate you as a person and a shipper and a writer. I am always so inspired by you and your talent and appreciate so much how kind you are. So I was unbelievably excited when I received your name as my giftee (you write such incredible AUs!). Hopefully you will enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it and be hopeful about what comes after instead of in a puddle of tears. I hope I can do your masterpieces some justice and that you have an amazing Christmas and holiday season!!

Merry Christmas!

…

(All of these chapters have been lightly proofread, so feel free to do a re-read once I post them to AO3 & FFnet, b/c I’m sure they’ll be in much better condition then.)

Fun Fact: I did some medieval research for this story that I did try to incorporate. (1) People were not meant to be educated unless they were upperclass/royalty/clergymen. (2) Women were rarely educated period, unless upperclass and then very little. They were expected to marry and raise children. (3) The Crusades and everything according to the Robin Hood legend that I googled I tried to incorporate to some degree, since I did keep the story set in the Middle Ages. (There’s prob more, but I can’t think of what at the moment.)

…

Chapter 1 -

Collin Woods.

A place thick with trees, alive with wildlife, and far from any central city on the map, two hundred miles away from the literal Central City. Within the woods contained the small town of the same name, the only structure cresting above the trees being the stone castle of the royals. Previously residing there was King Richard – a loyal, good king who took care of his people and flourished the town with bountiful riches and a thriving population. But within the past several months he had left the town and its people to embark on the noble quest of fighting in the Crusades. In his place, he left his younger brother, Prince John, a selfish, spoiled, adolescent fool who little by little drained the small town of its resources until the only thing rich and satisfying to the eye could be found within the castle grounds.

Many of the young men of the town had gone off to fight in the Crusades with their King. Not all could go, because work needed to be done that could not only be sustained by older men, women, and children. But some left not only for the cause itself but to escape the death trap that had become their once thriving homeland. War with all its drudgery, pain, and rate of death on the battlefield was still a welcome reprieve. To those that survived, they only hoped their king would return with them and so sustain the lands they used to call home and create a small paradise once again for themselves and those they loved.

Beside Prince John was his wise and yet often taken for granted advisor, Sir Hiss – not his actual name of course, but his natural born lisp that often affected his speech had granted him the title. The superficial prince did nothing to correct it. Since he relished as well as mocked his only true friend – if he could be called that – the name suited him in the latter case. Trained guards were at Prince John’s disposal, as well as the particularly greedy Sheriff of Collin Woods, Clifford Devoe.

Amongst the townspeople was the West family, but with the father, Joseph, and the son, Wallace, off to fight in the Crusades, and the mother, Francine, passed many years ago, the daughter, Maid Iris, was ordered by Prince John to live under the care of Sheriff DeVoe and his wife, Marlise. Iris was rarely seen after that, except for at festivals hosted by Prince John. And by one other, who she risked everything to see night after night by moonlight, hidden amongst the trees lining Silver Lake.

Barry Allen.

Bartholomew was his given name, but hardly rolling off the tongue, his best friend, Cisco – who’d also shortened his name – decided on a nick name for the young Allen. To those around him, it had stuck.

Barry was the only child of Henry and Nora Allen. The former was the only doctor in the town. He had taken a young pupil under his wing, a girl – which was most unheard of, Caitlin Snow. He’d tried to lure his son into the teachings of medicine. There were few things greater than the ability to heal, he would say. But young Barry would have none of it. And being a friend of Caitlin himself, Barry encouraged the union. There should be more than two doctors in one town, should one fall ill, heaven forbid. But it wasn’t going to be him. Most of the time when he wasn’t home, he traveled into town to offer his skills – that of repairing homes and entertaining children – as proof of his servitude. His mother, Nora, who was a seamstress to nearly everyone found this to be a great addition to the work force. And since she needed to do little to win over her husband, most of the time he relented.

But Barry didn’t spend all of his time tending to the needs of the townsfolk. His favorite pastimes were narrowed down to three: fishing with his best friend, Cisco, practicing archery from his handmade bow and arrows, and visiting Maid Iris by moonlight.

One late afternoon in June, finished with his tasks for today, Barry idly leaned against a tree and carved himself some new arrows, preparing to get some practice in. For the Crusades he would tell his father if the subject ever arose. But it hadn’t yet. Only his friends knew of his hobby, and it was kept amongst them. It was no secret Barry didn’t want to go to war.

“Hey!”

The disgruntled voice pulled Barry out of his reverie, and he saw an unamused Cisco standing inches beneath where his arrow had landed, a hole piercing his new hat as it stay pinned against the tree behind him.

Barry had the decency to blush.

“Sorry, Cisco.”

Cisco carefully pulled the arrow free and his hat with it and placed it back on his head.

“Watch it. My mother made that.”

Cisco’s mother was not the greatest seamstress – as was evidenced by the seams falling apart of the hats she made for her son, even without arrows being shot through them. But his parents looked down upon the Allen’s for Henry’s audacity to train a young girl in medicine, to educate a peasant girl whose duty it was to marry and raise children, not attempt to heal people. And also, because Barry’s parents were not stricter with him. As a result, they forbid their son from being friends with Barry – an order he ignored fervently.

“My mother could make you a new one,” Barry offered, not for the first time, as he turned his full attention to his friend.

Cisco snorted. “My mother would know. She knows she can’t sew. It has never been her talent. And if she saw how neatly the seams were sewn, she’d know where I had been.”

Barry nodded. He knew. He just couldn’t help but offer.

“Did you see Caitlin today?” Cisco asked casually, leaning against the tree beside Barry.

Barry shook his head. “I left early this morning. Ralph was off with Sue again, so he wasn’t around to watch his younger brothers and sisters. I offered my services.”

Cisco’s lips turned up in a smirk. “Of course you did.”

“It is my contribution,” Barry said, picking up another arrow and shaving down the sides so it would fly more smoothly.

“You don’t sound happy about it.”

He shrugged.

“Maybe you’re just jealous Ralph can spend time with Sue in broad daylight when you have to sneak around with Iris by moonlight.”

Barry froze, his eyes wide as he turned to look at his friend.

“What? You thought I didn’t know?”

Barry turned his body fully.

“I’m your best friend,” Cisco said, offended.

“You’re not- You didn’t- Does anyone else-”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course no one else knows. At least not because of me. I won’t tell a soul.” He paused. “At least not until you do.”

Barry snorted and returned to his arrows.

“I’ll never be able to do that,” he muttered under his breath.

“You never know,” Cisco said, softening.

Barry picked up his bow and arrow and aimed for a farther tree.

“As long as King Richard is fighting in the Crusades and Iris is cooped up with that awful Sheriff DeVoe, there’s no way we can be together openly. She’ll probably marry that awful knight Julian,” Barry said, scowling.

“I thought he’s planning to leave for the Crusades,” Cisco said, his brows fusing together.

“Not before obtaining a marriage proposal, I bet.”

“And why would the Sheriff say yes to him? He gains too much by keeping Iris locked up. He feeds off her inheritance.”

Barry lowered his bow. “Because Julian is a knight, and his father is in Prince John’s royal guard. He probably thinks Julian won’t return from the Crusades and he won’t have to worry about it.”

“But if he does return…”

“He’ll have to own up to the promise. And Maid Iris will have no choice in the matter.”

Cisco shoulders slumped, and then he gathered himself together, determined to let them not both be burdened down by this possibility.

“It might not happen,” he offered. “Julian’s thirst for war might overcome his desire for Iris.”

Barry looked at him. “It does.”

Cisco’s brows furrowed again.

“Julian wants her because I have her. It’s his petty jealousy for everything I have that is greater than his thirst for war. All the medals and glory in the world would mean nothing to him if they didn’t also crush me into the ground in the process.”

He shot off another arrow, this one recklessly into the air at a distance. Someone could trace it, find him, discover his hobby and somehow use it against him. But he didn’t care. Few things stifled his hatred for Julian Albert, son of the guard, knight in training, who gloated about all that he would receive on his return from the Crusades. More than once Barry had wanted to retort bitterly, ‘If you return.’ But he’d held his breath. He wouldn’t sink to his level.

“And what do you have that he doesn’t?” Cisco asked, though he knew at least some of what his answer would be.

“Both parents, friends, the right to choose what I want to do, and a father who is willing to bend the rules for the sake of the people.”

“And the love of Iris,” Cisco added, which made Barry’s anger finally fizzle out.

“Yes. And that.”

…

In the quiet cottage just off the edge of town, Nora Allen sat in her rocking chair and picking up a new color of yarn to add to her nearest quilt. She hummed quietly to herself, a melody to harmonize with the blue birds chirping outside the window. The sun shone through it, warming her face, and with the scent of biscuits wafting out of the oven, she knew dinner would soon be at hand. The chicken was ready, and the corn. With the prepared food would come her husband, her son, and the young girl Henry had taken under his wing, Caitlin Snow.

Caitlin was a quiet one. With long brown locks and the same purple, cotton dress she wore day after day, only changing the ribbons in her hair on occasion, Nora had taken to mothering her. She’d never had a daughter, and there was much about Caitlin that appealed to her. From her determination to chase after her dreams to her polite refusal of anything that might inconvenience anyone, Nora welcomed having her in their home and at their table. A few times she had studied her son’s interactions with her to see if there was any spark. She certainly wouldn’t mind having Caitlin officially part of their family.

But Caitlin, it seemed, was in love with a slightly older boy, Ronnie Raymond, who had gone off to fight in the Crusades. And Nora’s boy, Barry, she had begun to suspect, still fancied Maid Iris.

It was a star-crossed romance she’d hoped her son could avoid. Not because she held anything against Iris or her family, but because it would be nearly impossible for them to find happiness together in a practical sense with Iris being elevated in her father’s and brother’s absence. In addition, she knew the feelings had not been one-sided before Joseph and Wallace had left for Crusades. That made the young romance even more devastating.

But Iris lived with Sheriff DeVoe now, who was snide and arrogant and in line with that terrible Prince John who was constantly raising the taxes. She hoped Marlise DeVoe, who while loyal to her husband, didn’t appreciate his tactics, had taken Iris under her wing and protected her. Heaven only knows what kind of atmosphere existed in that house if she hadn’t.

With Prince John’s almost constant raising of taxes – and demand in paying them being more frequent – Nora worried that soon Henry would allow appointments without pay. He tried to be firm and decisive on the outside, but on the inside his love for her and his son and the townspeople had turned him to mush. After all, once Barry had made it clear he would not be following in his footsteps, Henry had sought out a pupil and had no qualms whatsoever about taking on Caitlin Snow.

The sound of the heavy wooden door being opened interrupted her thoughts, and the sound of her husband’s warm voice made the sadness of her thoughts all but disappear.

“Something smells good,” Henry said, walking through the door. “You smell that, Caitlin?” The young girl nodded beside him. “It smells wonderful.”

Nora smiled to herself, set aside her tools and yarn and walked into the entryway adjoining the kitchen.

“You’re home,” she said, to which her husband crossed the distance between them and placed a kiss on her cheek. “It smells so good.” He pulled back. “Is it biscuits?”

She nodded. “Yes. And chicken and potatoes.”

Caitlin’s eyes lit up. “You have potatoes?”

“Yes. And I’m going to mash them. Would you like to help?”

Caitlin nearly bounced up on her toes. It never ceased to amazing Nora how this girl could go from being shy to eager and excited when new opportunities presented themselves. She wondered what that meant about her home life but decided not to think on it.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she chuckled. “Come on.” She nodded her head towards the hot pot over the fire and grabbed some pot warmers so as not to burn herself. “Grab a bowl from the bottom shelf. We’ll put them in there first.”

Caitlin did as she was told and used the large spoon to transfer the vegetable. Nora looked over her shoulder at her husband as she did so.

“Have you seen Barry today?”

“Not this morning,” he said on a sigh. “But the Dibny’s informed me he spent all morning with their rambunctious children, so he must’ve done some good today.”

“Henry.” Her voice lowered, and he reined himself in.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s a good thing what he’s doing. It’s better than just lying around this place all day. I’m glad he’s getting work in and that he’ll help out with the harvest in the fall.”

“Oh!” Caitlin interjected, spying the individual in question walking passed the distant window. “I think I see him.”

Moments later, the door opened and Barry walked in, a basket of freshly pulled carrots in his arms.

“Carrots,” Caitlin said, awe-struck by yet another delicious food being added to the menu.

“What a brilliant idea, Barry. Thank you for thinking of it,” his mother said.

He forced a smile that matched his father’s until Henry felt the glare his wife was delivering to the back of his head.

“I thought it might…add something,” Barry added lamely, avoiding his father’s gaze.

“I talked to the Dibny’s earlier today,” Henry said, pushing bitter feelings behind him for the sake of the meal and the company. “It sounds like you were very helpful to them this morning.”

Barry looked at him, then glanced at his mother and Caitlin and knew he had to do something to release the tension.

“Well, someone had to be, what with Ralph running off with Sue just as his brothers and sisters were waking up.”

Henry softened, a proud smile gracing his features.

“I’m glad you stepped up, son.” He gripped his shoulder. “It’s good to know what’s important in life and not go running after a lass before you’ve found your place.”

He glanced over at Caitlin.

“Nothing against you, of course, Caitlin.”

She grinned sardonically.

“Of course not. I’m special.”

Barry shook his head at the comment, but it had the whole family laughing, and so the tension was broken.

…

Night descended over Collin Woods about an hour after dinner. Caitlin had returned home, promising to meet Henry at his clinic the next day as early as she could. He promised to bring food with him and Nora insisted she come home with Henry for dinner again. Caitlin was reluctant to make that promise, so she just smiled as a goodbye and waved her hand on the way out. Barry watched her from the front window and thought about the impact she made on their home. He was glad to have her in his life, and glad even more so that she’d provided an escape for him from his father’s profession. But he worried some about her home life. Whenever he saw her about in town, there was no light in her eyes. She looked sullen, almost like a young child. And he saw the tight grip her mother always had on her even though she was three years into adulthood at age fifteen. It just made him more aware of the destruction Prince John had brought upon their little town.

Barry lay in bed until he could hear his parents’ snores drifting down the hall. Deeming it safe to slip out, he pushed open his window and carefully climbed over the ledge to the other side. He closed it after he’d landed in the grass, keeping it open a crack so he wouldn’t have difficulty going in, and then slinked away from his home, taking off as fast as one of his arrows as soon as he’d reached the cluster of trees thickening like a swarm of flies on the way to Central Pond.

He got to the edge of the water, looked up and saw some hazy clouds crossing over the moon. He worried for a moment that she wouldn’t come. They had always said that if it was a cloudy night, maybe it was a sign they shouldn’t meet up that night, that there was somehow a better likelihood of them being caught, even if logically that didn’t make sense. They should be harder to see with no grand moonlight making figures known amongst the trees.

But he didn’t have to worry long. Because mere moments later, a tap came on his shoulder, and he nearly fell into the water because of it.

“Barry!” she quietly shrieked, pulling him back by the fabric of his shirt, and then dissolving into a fit of giggles when she did. Putting a hand over her mouth, she tried to compose herself. “I’m sorry.”

He was flushed, breathing heavily for a few moments, but then a silly grin stretched across his face.

“No apology needed,” he said, then took her hand and led her away from the water into the woods. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come.”

“So was I,” she said. “The clouds were so much thicker from my bedroom window.” She came to a stop and held both of her hands in his, swinging a little on the balls of her feet. “But I thought I’d make a try for it. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”

In truth it had been two days, and the only reason they hadn’t met up was because of storms, rain that poured hard and for hours. But it still felt like an eternity. Every moment apart felt like a lifetime.

“I know,” he said, intertwining their fingers together. “It’s been forever.”

He couldn’t wait any longer. He pulled on her hands with his own, instantly bringing her closer, and met her lips with a sudden kiss. She melted into it, and so did he. His arms moved to settle on her waist as hers wrapped around his neck. And for a while they stood there in the filtered moonlight, just ignoring the world around them.

“Oh, Barry,” she murmured, eventually pulling back enough to lay her head on his chest. He swayed them gently. “I wish it could be like this forever.”

He rested his cheek on the top of her head and shut his eyes, listening to the sway of her long dress in the night breeze.

“So do I.”

“I dream at night about us, you know.”

He smiled to himself. “You do?”

“Well, don’t you?” She lifted her head to look up at him.

“Of course, Iris. I dream about you even when I’m not sleeping. I almost shot Cisco with an arrow today because I was so distracted dreaming of you.”

Her eyes sparkled. “You wouldn’t have hit him.”

“I don’t know…I was pretty distracted.”

“You never miss,” she said. “Not even when you’re distracted.”

“I might’ve made an exception for Julian,” he joked lightly.

She smirked. “I might’ve let you.”

He didn’t know if her not liking Julian any more than he did made their situation even more tragic, but he decided he liked it. Better the knight not be his competition when it came to Iris’ heart. In any other way, he could deal, even if he didn’t want to, but if he was unsure about where her heart lie, he was sure he would die.

“Come on,” he said, stepping back enough to just hold her hand. “I want to show you something.”

Iris bit her bottom lip and ran with him through the woods until they came to a large tree. She stopped before he did and looked up at the spectacle before them.

“It’s amazing,” she said, awestruck.

“It’s old,” he responded. “And probably shouldn’t be climbed on.” He bent down to pick something off the grass just around the old oak. “But it’s unlike any other tree in the whole forest, and I think we should make it our own.”

He came back to her and handed her a rock, sharp and narrow at the end. She looked at it strangely and met his eyes with a quizzical expression.

“What are you thinking, Barry?”

He grinned and pulled her to the large, oak tree. Then she watched as he used his own rock to painstakingly carve his initials into the wood. He made a small cross beneath it and stepped back. He glanced at her when she didn’t move.

“Your turn,” he said.

Excitedly, though she tried to contain herself, Iris stepped forward and carved her own initials in. Then, without any prodding, she drew a large heart around their letters and stepped back, looking at their masterpiece proudly.

“I love you, Iris,” he said, softly, and she turned to find him staring at her, so much love in his eyes. She didn’t doubt his declaration for a second.

“I love you, too, Barry,” she returned, taking both his hands in hers as they’d been before.

“I don’t know how long we can be like this,” he admitted. “But I’m going to treasure every moment.” He brought their clasped hands to his heart and held them there. “You’re my home, Iris. And that’s one thing that will never change.”

Her heart aflutter, and all words fallen away from her memory, she smiled softly in response. Then she tilted her face up, closed her eyes, and waited for him to kiss her.

[fancyfade]

001: dc, 002: tank/jorgan, 003: hawkgirl >:3 (kendra saunders) oo4: dc/ swtor

from this ask list (link)

001

Favorite character: All time favorite is Jaime Reyes, but lately I’ve been reading mostly Damian Wayne and Cass Cain stuff

Least Favorite character:. I guess Guy Gardner, in that he’s one of the characters who, whenever he shows up, makes me think “Oh my god, not this fucker again”. Or the joker. I have similar opinions on the joker.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

 DickBabs (OTP)

 Anissa/Grace (OTP)

 Jaime/Traci (they’re just cute together),

honorable mention to John Stewart/Hawkgirl from DCAU since that was my OTP as a kid.

 And I can actually only think of 4, unless I count any couple I have any positive feelings towards even if they’re very minute. I’m not a huge shipper in DC verse I guess.

Character I find most attractive: Probably Grace Choi, Barbara Gordon, or Talia Al Ghul

Character I would marry: I can’t marry any of the people on my attractive list, they’re already involved in my OTPs or working with the league of assassins!

Character I would be best friends with: Jaime Reyes or Cass Cain. They would both be great friends.

a random thought: Blue Beetle is one of the power houses of DC universe fight me

An unpopular opinion: I was wondering if this opinion was too unpopular but then realized that meant it probably belonged here if so: I just find Tim Drake really uninteresting.

my canon OTP: DickBabs or Anissa/Grace I cannot pick just 1

Non-canon OTP: I actually don’t think I have one… yet

most badass character: Cass Cain or Jaime Reyes.

pairing I am not a fan of: Spitfire god its just awful.

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): there are too many to list. Cass (retconning her out of being batgirl, dark cass  saga), Barbara (magicuring her), Damian (that weird prison thing, that ian and whitewashing thing that looks awful ), Talia (whiplash between morally grey and villain ball depending on whose writing her)

favourite friendship: Jaime/Brenda/Paco they are the best.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: I’d adopt Damian or be adopted by Jaime’s parents (Berto and Bianca), since they are some of the most well-adjusted, reasonable good parents I’ve seen in DC

002 (tank and jorgan - jorgan being a SWTOR NPC and Tank being my SWTOR republic trooper OC)

when of if I started shipping it: Some time after Tank gets the dialogue option to gently rib Jorgan.

my thoughts: They are both obviously autistic. I mean Tank is my OC so I can make her as autistic as I want. But Jorgan is too.

What makes me happy about them: that they’re both autistic :P that you can have a dynamic where the female character is more teasing of the male character (where usually it is the opposite). That there’s a dynamic where the male character isn’t super overprotective of the female character. That they like sparring 2gether and its super charming. Many things.

What makes me sad about them: 5 years they spend apart between Rise of the Emperor and Kotfe

things done in fanfic that annoys me: I havne’t read many in a very long time so I can’t remember.

things I look for in fanfic: ditto

My kinks: I never know how to answer this part.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: IDK tbh. Tank can end up with ltos of people because she has great rapport and tension with a lot of people. I know when I ran an alternate universe bounty hunter Tank, she was in a relationship with Torian and Theron (not like… canonically at the same time none of this is canonical it was just who she was a) allowed to flirt with according to the video game and b) hit it off with) Jorgan’s harder to read. I put him as BFFs w/ Dorne, but not like… romantically involved. 

My happily ever after for them: they retire and spend rest of their days just chilling or training people but not getting shot at any more or having the responsibility of the galaxy on their heads anymore. Kids: Optional but not required

003 kendra saunders

How I feel about this character: I like her. I think she’s pretty cool but not one of the characters I go out of my way to read a ton.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: no one. Sorry carter (her canon ship at least in new earth). Haven’t really seen enough of her interactions to have the non canon ship yet

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I liked her interaction with John in Justice League so far

My unpopular opinion about this character: hopefully not unpopular but: The hawkman series 4 just is terrible writing to her. Treats her like shit. She has some strong characterization tied into one arc and then once it’s over they drop it ASAP and give her character traits that seem to be mostly just “the girlfriend”

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: they should have explored more her anger and the ND stuff They also should let her kick as much ass as hawkman.

my het ship: DNA

my fem/slash ship: DNA

my OTP: DNA

my OT3: DNA

my cross over ship: DNA

my kink: DNA

a head cannon fact: I actually headcanon hawkgirl as a slightly better fighter than hawkman - because he remembers most of the memory stuff in new earth, and she remembers the spaceship skills, I headcanon that she remembers all the skills better - including fighting

004 Oh man I have no clue. DC/SWTOR have any compatible characters?

I guess one I can see:

Elara Dorne/Cass Cain They were both raised by bad guys (Elara - the imps, Cass - Cain). They both left not because someone asked them to or because they were forced to but because they realized that what they were doing/being asked to do was wrong. They’re both obviously autistic. They both don’t socialize like everyone else - Elara is very formal and precise in most of her speech and adheres to rules and regulations because a) it helps her understand what is expected of people and b) they are used to enforce doing the right thing (remembering her saying that the sith discarded any rules any time they felt like it and killed whoever they wanted). Cass is obviously a little overprotective of her friends at time (remember when she knocked Steph out to keep her out of a dangerous fight?) and seems like some people read her as intimidating because of her past or difficulty with words (Tim said he was avoiding her because of her past at first).

Even if they weren’t romantically involved, they would get along great. I think they would both be able to appreciate chilling without pretenses or putting on social conditioning you don’t have. And they’d be able to share their hobbies w/ each other. And since Elara is a soldier, she could spar Cass! Obviously not w/ Cass’s talent in hand-2-hand but w/e

[thoughtfulpaperback]

In defense of Reylo shippers

Ok so I read a lot of stuff from the antis and I really don’t care that they don’t ship Reylo, but I do not like some of what I have read suggesting that Reylo shippers are ok with abuse or are being gaslighted. I, for one, am 100% against abusive relationships. I have also pointed out to many people how romantic comedies and dramas often reinforce/romanticize bad behavior in relationships or in general, so I am not ignorant. I would like to address these accusations not because I need to defend myself, but so my fellow Reylos can see some of the reasons why I ship them.

Abuse/Gaslighting

I agree that the “you are nothing. . .but not to me” line was manipulative, as well as a declaration of feelings. He obviously wants her and would say anything to make her stay and he “knows” her weakness, so he tries to use it. Other than that moment (which to me seemed more like a child throwing a fit than an abuser keeping someone on a short leash), I do not see signs that Solo/Ren is an abuser.

“What about the mind rape seen in TFA?”

1.     It is a method of information extraction (doesn’t make it right), but they are on opposite sides of a war. He is not necessarily cruel to her in his interactions although he does “what needs to be done”. When she flips it on him, he goes to Snoke recognizing her strength and her need for a teacher, not to kill her or force her into submission.

2.     Then in the TLJ he thinks about doing it again to get Luke’s whereabouts and then stops saying “another attempt might kill you” (paraphrasing) so obviously he isn’t trying to be cruel and doesn’t enjoy the mind prodding.

“What about him refusing to put a shirt on, that is manipulation/abuse?”

1.     IMO, if a force connection was forced on me and I had no control over it and said connection is with a girl who hates me, called me a monster, and assumes she knows everything about me, I would say “Hell Nah!”. So now I have to change my habits? He refuses with such indifference, I don’t think it is manipulation. Yes, he is shredded, but why is a shirtless man automatically sexualized? To me, he just didn’t care to accommodate her. Which isn’t abusive, just asshole attitude.

2.     Once they start opening up to each other I truly believe that he truly means what he says and that he does care about Rey.

Weak Complex Character Defense

I do not defend Ben/Kylo’s actions based on him being a complex character. Nor to I think abuse is ok if the character is “deep”. As I said before I don’t think he is abusive, but at the same time, I don’t think he is good enough as is. He—as Snoke mentions—acts like an angry child, but at the same time is capable of being a gentle human being. He has lots of issues to work through and I don’t believe is Rey’s responsibility to change him, nor do believe a relationship between the two will solve the problem. Reylo could go horribly wrong. Which is why I am glad that she leaves. If she had stayed (one these would be very different films and what a twist) I would not have liked it. I would have complained that this was reinforcing the bad belief that relationships can fix behaviors and that people can force change on others. I disagree with these ideas completely. I do believe that the people we care for do shape us, so I am a fan of the idea of Kylo Ren being into Rey and that shapes his actions and desires moving forward (hopefully culminating in a redemption, but I do like a tragedy as well).

Kylo Ren is a broken human being who hasn’t fully grown up yet. I think many people can relate. I appreciate this about the character. He lashes out at others, he has a hard time letting go, he feels very deeply. He is not an emotionless thrall who loves violence and cruelty. I would even argue that he doesn’t really care about power that much. I believe he and Rey act as mirrors. That is he sees what he wants for himself in her and vice versa. He has a place in it all and she sees that and wants it. He wants to be rid of the past and the sadness and he sees that in her past. He doesn’t see power or strength. He doesn’t kill Snoke as a power grab, he does it because he is emotional and acts on those. Ben has been manipulated all these years and he recognized it and all he wants is to move on from everything with an equal who understands his pain.

1.     Do I think that his complexity means that they should be together right now? Hell Nah. I see a relationship/connection to be explored by a strong woman who will not be manipulated, but at the same time be a role model and equal to Ren. Although I think we all have a lot of fun on the Reylo ship, I for one do not think any of us are pro a Rey who throws herself at Kylo and promotes his behavior.

2.     There are moments where Rey is being manipulative as well like in the elevator, if we are going to say that understanding someone’s weakness and trying to use it to convince them to come with you (my parents are manipulative and abusive bastards who owe me two trips to Disney [they took me to the doctor instead]).

In my opinion, there are a lot of reasons to be antis like :

1.     Believing Kylo Ren is irredeemable. I totally get that. It took me forever to feel that Anakin was redeemable after watching the prequels. I still have a hard time with it and I don’t feel that he is completely redeemable, or at least forgivable. Children, women, and other civilians are often casualties in war (I don’t have to like it or accept it), but going in and killing children who trust you with your own hands is completely unforgivable, but Vader does try do a final good getting rid of the emperor. Again, I cant forgive all the past actions, but I don’t wish him to burn in hell. Kylo killed people. War. I don’t know if he killed any children with his own hands (I shouldn’t matter as far as redemption goes, but It makes him more forgivable than Anakin in my mind). If you don’t that is ok and we will only know what happens when it ends.

2.     Believing Kylo Ren is too immature. I agree. I see potential, but I am also more patient due to having so many siblings.

3.     Not liking Kylo Ren’s character. That’s ok too. There are a number of characters in the star wars universe that I don’t care for.

4.     Being a Damrey/ Finnrey shipper. We all have our preferences. I would adore any combo, although I am first and foremost a Reylo shipper.

At the end of the day, I probably won’t convince any antis, that is fine. I just want my Reylo shippers not to feel as if they are promoting abuse or to be ashamed of their ship. Maybe there are some of us out there who like Reylo for “the wrong reasons”, but we all are aboard for different reasons and It is great to share the love of something with others. Spread love, not Hate!

`

[rebornlaracroft]

FFXV: On Episode Ignis (SPOILERS) - (Another) Emotional Breakdown/ Review (kind of, still crying) OR "How to get a DLC right (in my opinion)" & Thank You to the FFXV Development Team!

When I wrote my emotional breakdown/review back in November of 2016 I had no idea that I would indeed write another one, especially on FFXV. I thought I had already said everything I had to say about that game, well serves me right for being wrong. And damn I'm happy that I'm wrong.

WARNING: THERE OBVIOUSLY WILL BE SPOILERS FOR BOTH THE MAIN GAME AND ALL THE DLC!

As I said back then FFXV is a great game, while I acknowledge it's flaws and the wasted potential in some parts (which could still be changed next year it seems?) I also appreciate it for what it is. The game left a huge impact on me back then, an impact that still has it's effect even one year later, perhaps because the game is still present through the DLCs but I guess there's more to it then that.

First off: I liked all DLC episodes, Gladios probably the least because of kinda lacking story and the focus on battle which was fun but nothing more then that unfortunately. Promptos was way better, resolution regarding the conflict on who he actually is, or rather what he is and (B)A(E)ranea, I mean she's a fan favorite, right? (Notice: And yes while I agree that the DLC could/should have been part of the main game, I just accepted the DLC issue that's been present for year now with all kinds of games and they did deliver great content for the money so in my opinion it was worth it!)

But episode Ignis is different from both of them, different in a way I had never expected it to be, different in the way that it gave us the happy ending we've been wanting for a whole year now!

But before I get into that, let's talk about the Episode. It was as emotional as I had expected, seeing Ravus was amazing, although he only was there for a short amount of time until we had to fight him. I wish that part would have been a little longer. His scene with Luna was heartbreaking, seeing her drifting away... I really like Luna, even if she isn't as developed as she could be, I like her and I wish that alternate path would have given us a way to save her too. I would have liked a little flashback though, some kind of talk between Ravus and Luna about their fate as part of the Kanagi prophecy or whatever you may call it, preferably when they were both children or teenagers since Ravus mentioned themselves as children when Regis left them. It would have been a really nice addition.

Regarding flashbacks or rather flashforwards/visions... Ignis actually knew HOW Noctis was destined to die, how he had to sacrifice himself, be killed by an entity that once was his own father just for the sake of their world. I can't imagine what kind of burden that was for him, considering that was one of the very last things he ever saw, something that mist have been burned into his mind, his very best friend serving as a sacrifice to save everyone.

Now on to Ignis' sacrifice... obviously as painful as I had anticipated, but also a badass fight against Ardyn! Being given the choice (well not really, since you can only follow the actual story the first time you play it) was really interesting and probably one of the best additions they could have made. Since the second choice gives us something none of us could have ever anticipated, something probably all of us have wished for since we finished the game - an actual good ending.

Now I don't mean to say the real ending isn't good, it is, it's fitting, it's the way it's meant to be. But having an alternate, better, ending is something that I really wanted, it doesn't have to be the true ending but I just want to see them happy, not just in my mind but also on the screen! Many people wished for that option and it seems they listened, I don't know if they intended that alternate ending to be included since the beginning or if they actually included it because the fans wanted it? I would suppose it's the second one, its just nice to think that way! Anyway on to the ending. The battle against Ardyn was really hard but considering what we get after it it's definitely worth it! Once again we get Ignis sacrificing everything he has to save Noctis, at least I had to. I had to sacrifice my senses, my body and lastly my life. I don't know if you can finish the battle without having to give up everything? Defeating Ardyn leads to Noctis gaining a stronger resolve then before, he doesn't want to leave anyone alone, he understands that he isn't alone and that he doesn't have to bear that burden alone. Due to timeline changes Ravus survives as well! We see all the important characters, everyone coming together seemingly to fight the darkness, to hold out ten more years for Noctis to come back and for all of them to fight together. Somehow it seems Ignis isn't blind this time, maybe Noctis healed him before he went into the Crystal, it seemed that way at least. It's very ambiguous, not everything is precisely explained but that's fine, it's beautiful, it's what I wanted all along. The four comrades, friends, brothers enter the final battle together even with Ravus by their side, an older Ravus that has finally been able to acknowledge Noctis thus giving him his father's sword.

The very last scene after the sky brightens is Ignis standing in the throne room in front of Noctis who is sitting in the throne, mind that it's ONLY Ignis. He seems to form the word majesty in Japanese, though there was no sound.

THEORIES:

1. Everybody lives, everybody is happy, they fought together and somehow managed to avoid Noctis having to sacrifice himself since they were by his side, maybe they could all help in activating the crystals power together. That's what I think at least, they live, Noctis lives, all of them do and they managed to defeat the darkness, they finally finished their journey and returned home to rebuild Insomnia.

2. Ignis has died alongside Noctis. This could be possible because he had to give his life to use the ring, at least I had to eventually. Though why was he kept alive for 10 years? I don't know, but it's possible that his sacrifice was only made when Noctis returned and sacrificed himself as well? This would mean the last scene shows both of them as ghost like entities just like Noctis and Luna in the true ending. This could also explain why we don't hear Ignis say majesty, an artistic choice maybe, and why it's only him and Noctis. It would be a nice way of interpreting the ending as a Ignoct shipper.

Either way, I guess how you interpret this alternate ending is up to you! There's no clear explanation, not enough information, we don't see a sacrifice this time. The ending is brilliant, you can make of it what you want, it can be your perfect ending if you want it to be and that's just wonderful. It's the greatest addition they've given us with those DLC, one that only worked in Ignis episode!

I don't remember exactly when they take place, but we get some new scenes during the credits and before or after, a talk between Ignis and Noctis after the famous last camp scene. Another very beautiful and emotional moment between the characters. It doesn't matter whether you ship any of them or not but that camp scene in the main game made it clear that they LOVE each other. After what they've been through they have such a deep connection, all of them have this wonderful bond. Bit Ignis also has his duty, a duty of protection, for him Noctis is his very purpose! I don't want to belittle the other characters in saying that they don't feel the same way, but Ignis is different, it's difficult to explain but there's a reason for why only he got this additional camp scene with Noctis, one that once again shows their love for each other, the suffering they cause each other. Noctis blames himself for what happened to Ignis and Ignis blames himself for what is going to happen to Noctis because he couldn't avoid it (at least not in this timeline). It's a mutual connection the other two don't share in this exact way and that's what makes their relationship special and stand out in this scene. I would have liked Gladio and Prompto to get an extra scene too in their episodes but even this is enough for me.

The last thing I want to do is to give a HUGE THANK YOU to the development team for giving their best at the DLCs and especially for this very episode! They did an amazing job, they gave the fans excalty what they wanted and I couldn't be happier now! I really do love this game despite its flaws and issues and I'm looking forward to seeing what they'll give us next year, I think episode Ardyn was confirmed, hopefully episode Luna too! Episode Aranea and Ravus would be awesome too, given that both are amazing characters and Aranea is a fan favorite and both deserve more love!