#but i just wanted to get some stuff out of my system

[corviddusk]

I can add on to this a bit as well as an intersex transfem who was AFAB (I will also add on the fact I was raised primarily as a boy and bullied for being too feminine when seen as a boy and bullied for not being a real enough girl the other times)

1. Intersex transfems are indeed valid I am one. I'm transfem because I'm transitioning from being seen as a man to being seen as a woman. This has led to, in my case, detransitioning from transmasc and retransitioning as Transfem. However due to the fact T had very minimal changes for me as I already was growing facial hair and thick coarse leg hair at 13/14 and didn't start T until 17 and already had ambiguous genitalia and masculine features many of this is retransition and not just detransition (I'm changing things I naturally have not just stuff T gave me. I may even need to take medication to suppress testosterone production when I start properly medically transitioning once I get my doctors appointment to finally work out)

2. Transfem alters in a body that is not transfem are not transfem in any meaningful way and should not be seen as the same thing. There are emulations of being transfem that show up in systems. It's the same as how the plural community treats race- alters may appear to have a race you physically are not but they are not that race they have a physical appearance in your own mind as someone with that race but as you and them are one in the sense of sharing a body you cannot EVER claim that race. All my alters are mixed white/native regardless of what they look like. Genders can be anything as that's based on self identification, but factors like transness are about bodily situations.

3. FtMtF which in some ways one could consider me (though currently I'm more X and my assignment and body are contradictory) is not inherently transfeminine. My getting off of T is not me being transfem that's not whatsoever a part of my retransition that was solely an act of my detransition and is separate from my transfemininity. Anything I do to change the effects of T specifically is not retrans actions it's detrans actions. My retrans actions are things like getting on Estrogen to be on normal levels because my body naturally is not there. It's getting bottom surgery to actually have what I have only sorta half of be fully there.

4. Enbies who were AFAB are not transfem they're either transmasc or transneu depending on their own paths. Unless they're intersex and can transition femininely and are doing so.

I'm also going to be blunt, transfems like me who were AFAB are massively privileged over transfems who were AMAB. I said this recently in a post but I'm saved from so many laws that many transfems are not and it's why I don't think I'm always fully TMA. I am socially TMA and sometimes by laws or dealing with medication, but I also have massive privileges. It will be easier to access hormones most likely and it will be easier to have paperwork that I want. It is a privilege to have that even if it was never treated as existent. My lost girlhood and my body not being what I want is the main things I experience, others have more forms of oppression. Thus we should center them the most.

All in all I will also say the the original poster- no it isn't bait

Yes I hate the term AFAB transfem too. I'm not AFAB I'm intersex and was AFAB. AGAB happened to me it's not who I am. I have privileges from that because it in some ways aligns with my identity (even when I would rather have X as a gender marker I am not horribly dysphoric by F and as it is what I was assigned there is some level of cis privilege even as a nonbinary woman who is transitioning and that's okay).

That blazed post about an “afab transfem” tumblr community that I just got. That’s 100% bait, right?

[meraki-yao]

Poppy Playtime Chapter 4 Thoughts (Spoilers!)

Who stayed up till 1:30 am trembling in her blanket and continued to do so the whole morning for the new Poppy Playtime Chapter? Me!

So here are my thoughts and a few theories before the freshness washes off

(also disclaimer, I didn't actually play the game because I am by no means a gamer and way too much of a scaredy-cat to actually play it, this is based on the play-throughs I watched)

Thoughts

Monsters/Bosses:

Yarnaby:

Big kitty. Seriously though I feel like he's kind of standard for a poppy mid-level boss.

Pianosaurus:

Now some say that he was wasted but honestly I don't think so? All things considered I don't think he was hyped up all that much: he had one distorted image in the ARG and one jingle with not much actual information on the bigger-body. So truthfully speaking, I think the twist of having him be so quickly and suddenly destroyed by Doey was really successful, I for sure did not see it coming at all.

Nightmare Critters:

Okay as someone who really grew to love the smiling critters, the nightmare critters' very concept confused me. Like I don't dislike it, I'm just confused, like what is the in-game reason for their existence? I really think they wanted to reuse the mini-smiling critters concept from chapter three, but since the smiling critters in Chapter 4 are children refugees in Safe Haven, to make a distinction they created the nightmare critters. Defintiely annoying little pests though, which means they're fulfilling their purpose quite well.

The Doctor:

I was wondering if they were gonna re-use the weeping angels mechanism from Miss Delight because when I watched the trailer I couldn't think of anything else, but turns out they're traffic light systems but reverse: yellow means the minion is going to move, and red means it is moving. The VA acting is absolutely on point, so all the applause to Baldwin, but game play wise I... honestly feel it's a little underwhelming? It's all very confusing and a lot of brute forcing, and truthfully speaking to have this villain that was built up for so long, second to the prototype get destroy fairly quickly, felt... too easy for such a horrendous character. I still don't understand with what intention is he and prototype collaborating. I also feel like the stuff in the ARG about Sawyer's backstory didn't really pay off?

Doey:

OH GODS I CRIED SO MUCH I COULD WRITE A WHOLE POST ABOUT DOEY ALONE. I knew he was gonna be a twist/final boss in someway just because of how he was marketed, but oh my God, I wasn't prepared for how tragic this was. I think it is the oldest sister/eldest daughter in me, seeing Doey try so damn hard to be a leader to wayward children, trying so hard to manage and protect everyone, that's something I understand and sympathise with. The oldest part of him was only 15 when the hour of joy happened! The tape of him talking to himself, giving himself a reminder to keep holding on and protecting kids, God that broke my heart. I was sobbing and muttering "it's okay... you did great... you can rest now... you can go see your mommy and daddy and friends now" when he died.

I think the two facts that make this even more tragic is that the other completely sympathetic character, Dog Day (still my favourite best boi), bad things was inflicted on him. Even Dog Day as a boss, that wasn't his choice, he didn't have one. Doey on the other hand, it was self-inflicted: I can't say him going beserk was a choice per se, emotions are complicated, but he was the responsible one. This pain was self-inflicted, and unlike Dog Day, could have been avoided.

Which brings me to my second point: for Doey (so I have to emphasise, this is in NO WAY a comment on actual DID systems, and boy do I have thoughts on that), in one of the VHS tape, the scientist remarked that one of the kids that made him up: Kevin Barnes, was erratic and aggressive, and could pose a danger if included in the experiment. He ended up being included because Sawyer demanded it and "The Doctor's word is law". This means if Kevin wasn't included in Doey, if it was just Jack and Matthew, then Doey wouldn't have that insane breakdown. He would be sad, he would feel guilty, yes, but all of those are the average human emotions experienced in a situation like this, and it wouldn't have been so destructive. HE COULD HAVE SURVIVED. In his insane monster form, we can literally see the three kids in the monster's mouth, two of them frowning and one of them angry, the two sad kids trying to hold the mad one back. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED.

Anyways, I love the guy. I'll be drawing and mourning him. Sleep well buddy, you can rest now.

Plot and Lore:

Riley made me cry so much too. God, what a kid, trying to help, even a single soul till the very, very end. Sleep well kiddo. You did so well, and you're with your mom and dad now.

Also the way she described being turnd into a bigger-body, I wanted to throw up. Props to the writers for doing such a good job on that.

Oh the excited shout I let out when I saw the tape with Bigger Bodies Hoppy! So we know that there are more Bigger Bodies Smiling Critters that survived past the experiments and the hour of joy. But then I remembered that Dog Day said he was the last of the smiling critters and got sad, whoever Hoppy is, at this point in the story, she's gone :(

The omni-hand confuses me storywise: it's just a keycard equivalent?

Kissy Missy!!!! (that's it, I just love her)

I called three things: Poppy being Elliot's daughter, Ollie being the prototype, and Huggy still being alive. Granted a lot of people called it too, these are just the theories I believed in that turned out to be true

THERE ARE SO MANY DEAD BODIES AND EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM WAS A CHILD BEFORE I WANT TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS THIS IS AWFUL

The player is shaking in idle. That is some details. Also this person is gonna be triple traumatised.

I don't think Poppy is evil per se, but I think she is very selfish and self-centred, in the sense that she believes that she is the one with all the answers. I wonder how much did Elliot Ludwig spoil her. Also, bitch, she ditched us again.

Theories and Questions

In the Hoppy VHS, she mentioned she got jumped while trying to get supplies: jumped by what and who?

What the hell is the deal with Stella Greyber's change of heart in joining the executives on the bigger-bodies initiatives? Her change of heart is so sudden and so illogical?

It's one thing for Poppy to believe in Ollie. But Doey knowing and believing in Ollie too? How many people did he fool?

Also given that Ollie is the prototype, was his "HE'S OUTSIDE" that led to Doey going out and leaving safe haven a distraction?

I think the prototype is also an amalgamation, and one of the identities is Elliot Ludwig. It's final speech to Poppy, telling her to "come home" sound pretty in line with an evil father figure, and my sister pointed out if you removed the "T", "Elliot" is an anagram for "Ollie".

What is the prototypes agenda at this point? It's willing to collaborate with the doctor, the very person that started all this hellfire. It doesn't care about the children's lives seeing as he bombed Safe Haven, killing everyone inside. It's whole "burn it all down" idea actually echoes Poppy's agenda, but Poppy sounds genuinely shocked and scared to learn that Ollie is the prototype. What the hell is going on?

Who is Kissy? The bigger-body Kissy Missy that's been our companion for the past two chapters. Game Theory had their theory that it was Patty Hall, but I'm... starting to think it was Stella? We don't know Kissy's experiment number, and I don't think we have any info on Stella's status during the hour of joy, so it's not impossible. It's just... their... attitudes, for a lack of better words, seem to align.

Leith Pierre is out there somewhere, we know he survived since he's in project playtime, but where the hell is he now? He is a bigger player in this scheme than he lets one. I don't believe he's not gonna make an appearance in the future.

What the hell is Rich's deal? So turns out he's one of the more likeable higher-ups? And he's the head of shipping? What is up with his change in attitude from moody aggressive guy to the dad friend/supervisor?

There's this one mystery from Chapter two that still hasn't been solved: there were slides with plates of each department's head's name and one was missing: we still don't know who that could be.

I truly think at the very least for this storyline, the next chapter is the last. The doctor was the second greatest villain and now he's dead. Additionally, we came into direct contact with the prototype, so from a storytelling perspective, the next chapter has to be the last stand. I don't believe this will be the end of the poppy playtime universe though.

Conclusion/Overall Comment on the Chapter:

I liked the chapter, but I think the problem is that unlike the previous chapters that felt like a constant overall upgrade, this one didn't feel like an improvement (but nor it did feel like a downgrade though). There are aspects of the chapter that definitely improved from that last: the graphics, the gameplay mechanics, the gore making people immediately physically uneasy, and characterisation of both major and minor characters, making us immediately love or hate them in a very short time. But the pacing really felt less enjoyable compared to the last chapter, same with the boss battles. It felt like it dragged too much then rushed too much. The pros and cons kinda cancel each other out, leadings to a net zero.

My favourite is still Chapter three, but I'll give this one a 7.5/10.

[keeper-of-sparkly-things]

swr wof crossover au

Exactly five people have shown interest so i have taken that as permission to talk about this a little

(All of the art is not mine, its commissioned from my sister who does not have a tumblr, heres her youtube instagram and deviantart if you want to look at more of her stuff)

Anyway this idea spawned in discord when me and my friends were talking about how there are too few mythical creature aus of starwars and especially rebels and so i jokingly mentioned that someone could do a wings if fire au. It has since consumed my brain. Have some thoughts

Spectre 1, Kanan Jarrus

This guy is a leafwing. Thought process was “He’s green. Connected to the living force. And it would be cool” He is an animus, like all jedi will be in this au. He is one of very few pantalan dragons that have ever been an animus. His backstory isn’t that much different in canon, he ends up in the scorpion den with Hera. He also happens to have fairly strong leafspeak, though it doesn't see much combative action in the desert. At the time rebels starts he is about 11 dragon years old, at the time the empire rose he was 6 dragon years old.

Spectre 2 Hera Syndulla

Hera is a silkwing/sandwing hybrid. Since silkwings were almost entirely slaves or something similar in arc 3, and since twi’leks are the most slaves in starwars, i decided to make her a silkwing, and also because shes pretty. However, a friend said she had strong queen Thorn vibes and so now shes a hybrid sandwing who happens to work with the rebellion in the scorpion den. She has regular silk and also a tail barb, though it is smaller than other sandwings, but its still just as dangerous. Around the time rebels starts she is a little less than ten dragon years old, when the empire rose she was almost 5.

Spectre 3 Chopper

He is actually a little animus enchanted wooden octopus. Basically a while ago an animus decided animus’s were too powerful and purposefully nerfed the entire system, including things like you can enchant living things including the spellcaster, as such, animated carvings and such became fairly common, as they were technically nit alive but could still move as if they were. Think Blob from darkstalker except chopper has the side effect of being much more violent since he was separated from his creator. Hera found him in some ruins during the clone wars. No one knows how old he is.

Spectre 4 Garazeb Orrelios

This guy is just a normal icewing because theres a sad lack of purple icewings in wof canon. And also icewings and nightwings have had a rivalry since forever (i know that was supposed to be fixed in arc two but i needed a reason for a nightwing king to be willing to wipe of a large chunk of a tribe and palpatine in nothing without his ability to hold grudges over things he wasn’t even alive for that dont matter anymore) in this au he is still a captain of a guard, but it isn’t The royal guard (since theres only ten dragon tribes but hundreds of starwars species so we cant just entirely eliminate one dragon tribe with it being a much bigger problem than just the lasat) It is the biggest city besides the one where the royal family lives, and a lot of lesser nobility and a fair chunk of the icewing army, including where they train the new recruits is there. After it gets destroyed (there were Rumors that the nobility of the city were in league with rebellion, so if course the empire decided to go to the extreme and kill literally everyone who lived there) Zeb then goes into hiding in the Scorpion Den, thinking the desert would be the last place they would look for a reputable icewing, and there he meets kanan and hera. They recruit him by fighting imperials together and saving him from death by dehydration. He would have been 20 when the empire rose and 25 by the start of rebels. (@kanerallels has actually made this fic of him meeting kanan and hera go check it out if you haven’t please)

Spectre 5 Sabine Wren

Shes a rainwing. In Darkstalker and in the guide to a dragon world, they are mentioned to be widely feared assassins. Queen Glory wanted the rainwings to not be useless in a fight so she taught some of them to fight. The group that learned to fight took it too far and became the mandalorians, and sabine having been a bounty hunter at some point in canon, and also liking to express herself through her outward appearance, this is what i landed on. All her armor is enchanted by kanan to blend in with her scales when shes trying to be stealthy. This is what eventually persuaded her to join them. She was 1 when the empire rose and is 6 when rebels starts.

Spectre 6 Ezra Bridger

He is a silkwing hivewing hybrid. In the books these tribes seem to be more purposefully agricultural than the other tribes, being the only ones (i think) that have gardens for food instead of decoration, and they also have greenhouses, and lothal is a farming planet. Pantala is also a good out of the way grassland that doesn’t immediately have the attention of the empire, which is very convenient for him since he’s basically the most illegal person to ever exist. Unregistered child (illegal under the empire) who is also a hybrid (also illegal) descendent of a flamesilk (illegal when unregulated) and an animus (illegal period under the empire) and happens to have both abilities(because hes my favorite and i can do whatever i want), as well as a tail barb meant for paralyzing others, though both his flamesilk and his tail barb are significantly weaker than the average because of hybrid genetics. (His tail can barely paralyze tiny dragonets and prey and doesn’t work on bigger things without enhancement, and unless he purposely uses his hottest silk its not hot enough to actually burn most dragons) his parents did work with the rebellion on pantala, but because an emergency they traveled to pyrrhia and brought ezra with them because he was to dangerous to leave alone but were attacked and imprisoned halfway across the ocean, leaving ezra alone, and being like 2 years old at the time, lost his sense of direction and wandered to pyrrhia instead of pantala (bridges were built at some point connecting the continents by the islands) it should be known that he has no idea hes an animus at this point and thinks hes just really good at disguises and everyone else is just very dumb, when in reality hes like enchanting a poncho to make him look like a non hybrid and other accessories to make him look different by accident. He eventually wanders over to the scorpion den and causes a LOT of chaos which led to the ghost crew finding and adopting him. He was born on the first empire day and was about 4.5 years old when rebels starts. (If you want some angst he grows his wings right after malachor and kanan completely misses it)

[angelart67]

OK... So I don't have Instagram, which is probably because it is META owned & if I gave up my FakeBook, it makes no sense why I would just jump to another platform owned by the same entity... YES, I DO KNOW THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS... Only wrote it cause this makes me wish I could ONLY SEE the stuff that is WORTH IT on those platforms... LIKE THIS... Soooooo, that said, THANK GOD, you posted this on Tumblr as well... TY TY TY TY TY

MANY more ppl need to see n read this. BECAUSE, whatever rights or options or do-overs you think you have due you, this fact is MEDICALLY PROVEN...

Abortion STOPS A BEATING 💓🙏💔😇PLEASE don't murder God's Miracles...

OH WAIT... Before someone out there goes off on me because they just ASSume I have no stake in this, don't know what I'm talking about, or think I'm trying to kidnap their uterus... LISTEN UP... PLEASE, & I am NOT calling anyone out of their name, so let's see if we can possibly just stay on track with facts, for once, & not behave like bullies...

I do TY in advance for that...

I gave birth to 4 children, 2 were full term, 1 was "overbaked" family funny there, & 1 was extremely premature (especially for it being the 80's when they knew far less about premature infants) I also have suffered thru multiple miscarriages, & yep BIG DIFF between that happening to a woman & calling for an appt to end things on purpose... Every miscarriage I went thru made ME feel the same way I'd have felt, had I lost any of my living children (like stillbirth), they were ALL DEVASTATING LOSSES... Of my 4 who were born & lived, they are on this earth because my mama raised me to believe, once I am pregnant, planned OR unplanned, it is (in my heart & belief system) God's will, God's miracle, God's choice & MY DUTY... I don't wish to get into ANY debate with ANYONE over religion. Please NOOOO I've still not recovered from my recent political trauma, so have some mercy... So there I was in 4 different situations, at various times between 17 & 30 years old, in my doctors office, being given the news... This part pretty much kills me emotionally, because if only you could step into MY BELIEF SYSTEM for one little minute, please try, IF you were brought up that way, & fully believed that, to have a medical doctor (well 4 actually) not SUGGEST, but almost INSIST you go kill your unborn child you just found out about !!!!!

See... I happened to be born with a rare congenital disorder, which can transfer from mama to baby, BUT rather than even ASK ME about any CHOICE I might want to make, they was ready to pack me off to what I CONSIDER paid killers... If they had bothered to ask me, I could easily have shared that I believe in God, that for whatever reason, (I cannot know in this lifetime) allowed me to be born with this congenital disorder... so MY MIND & HEART reasons this way... out of my mom's 4 kids, only me & 1 brother had/have it, other brother & sister, nary a sign, just fine... Now God allowed me to have it, BUT HE also allowed me to get pregnant with my child... can't you just suppose (pretend again if you must) but if this ALL KNOWING GREATER POWER, I call God allowed BOTH of those occurrences to take place, MAYBE it was so I NEEDED to place my faith in Him? That is what was required, that is what was in my prayers, "Please Father God, just take care of my baby & help me be strong, whatever Your will." When I was a little kiddo, by the way, there was no medical test for my congenital disorder... back then, you got diagnosed by certain characteristics of the anatomy, having to do with skeletal system, cardiac system, vision, & muscular systems. So that is how my brother & I were diagnosed... nobody knows before my dear mom who else may have had it, because really nothing was specifically known 2 generations prior... Yes, my mom died when I was 17, as a direct result of this condition, in fact it was literally ONE WEEK before I discovered I was pregnant, so think again (as me) I am a teenager, just lost my mom last week, then found out I am pregnant, & a medical doctor (who knew those facts by the way) is suggesting I go murder what became my beautiful daughter, not to mention the mama of my ONLY grandchild... My daughter became my shining beam of sunlight & life, thru the death of my mom, helping me have good reason to get thru some of the most difficult days of loss I ever felt... So, anyone out there wanna clue me in about MY CHOICE... Well, that's OK, I only had ONE choice because my Bible instructs me, "Thou shalt not kill", & I assure you there is no clause or addendum attached to that COMMANDMENT that says

A. Unless this is inconvenient for you... B. Unless you have no faith in Me to care... C. Unless you are concerned about money...

Naaaaa... no such deals, not for me, & not for billions of other people raised with similar beliefs, in a menagerie of various religious belief systems... so is it that hard to believe that while there are SOME OUT THERE, I'm sure who simply don't believe in God, but are ONLY bent on stealing your RIGHTS... Don't you think there's a LOT who simply feel it is our God given duty to try & stop what we view as one of the worst crimes against humanity? Is it possible? Cause I'm nice, I swear, I'm not out to get anyone... but when I've spent 30 odd years working in the health industry, & I am so beyond aware of the medical facts, & ALL OF THEM in my eyes, PROVE LIFE FROM CONCEPTION but when I first learned about things like "partial birth abortion" I am HORRIFIED !!! & no, I'm not just saying everyone is going to carry almost to term, or to term in some instances, & then grab the long surgical scissors, (I mean the BRAIN SCRAMBLER) & by the way, that IS DEFINATELY NOT why we are born with a soft spot... but to me, if it's 6 weeks, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, months, no matter, it is the KILLING of a human who is completely unable to defend itself, NOBODY is giving these kids a choice, they call em slimeblobs, to be able to live with it IMO...

I've been there, I HAVE lived it, 1 of my 4 was (possibly) the result of rape, because that happened to me, just around the time I got pregnant... we just did not know until after birth when it could be proven one way or the other, & yes, THANK GOD she ultimately wasn't the rapists child, but I promise you as God is my witness, had I known THEN, like I wasn't in my relationship, so I KNEW... I still could never have ended her life... medical facts DO PROVE life begins at conception, the medical field simply use various terms, to show what point things are at, so even if embryo or fetus sounds like blob to you, it's not, not at all, & if you only be selfless for a little while, my point is beyond proven... NOTHING that isn't alive has a heartbeat or organs forming more each day, & the scientific list goes on...

My brother, who was also born with my same congenital issues, passed away in his early 40s as a direct result of the condition... so does that mean he had nothing to offer this world in his 4 decades? Nowadays, they developed a blood test that gives a definitive yes/no answer about what I live with. There is no more figuring it out from aspects of your anatomy... I've now surpassed the age my brother & mother passed away at, about to be 58 in the spring... I don't know how or why my Father in heaven has kept me going this long, I assure you, I am far from healthy, but I like to think I contributed a LOT of good, in my time here, & I'm blessed my mom didn't just think, "Aww screw it, she might be born all messed up." & do me in... Had that happened, this world would also be (probably) without any of my 3 siblings, their children, grandchildren & and great-grandchildren, without my 4, & without my grandson... & By the way, my kids had the blood test that now exists, NONE of them have it... so I'd have also murdered them pointlessly, had I listened to the doctors...

I'm done, I pray I made an impact with SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE, I pray I at least make others think & reason things through...

God Bless & Keep You, & may He protect those who can't protect themselves, 🙏😇

[prettymediocrewizard]

probably the best sleep Tenma has had in awhile~

[ganondoodle]

(Original art) Xaror, any pronouns, species (?), age (?)

short summary about them; they act as both an antagonist and an ally since they are only really interested in what they want or whats fun to them, they are immortal and call themselves 'death itself' since they have a special connection to souls (being the only one able to communicate with them) and the ability to seperate souls from their bodies in such a way that nothing can harm the soul afterwards their main goal is to .. bother and disturb the 'celestials'*, which they hate, as much as they can, breaking into their palace, freeing prisoners, destroying research, destroying the place, and most importantly, making as many souls unusable to them as possible-

they dont want to destroy the celestials though, they cant fight them anyway and this game of doing 'good' only with the goal of annoying them is their most treasured activity, so Xaror doesnt intend to stop them from killing or hurting anyone, only from harvesting what they are actually after (though Xaror doesnt actually care as little as they think they do about people, and has a soft spot for demons)

most of their appearance is later into the story; Zaphira (the empress) had been in coma and the medical facility she was treated in was destroyed by Shargon (orange eyed demon who acts as her bodyguard for the first part) in an attempt to save her from her estranged relatives taking over her country after they heard of her decline in health, she is believed dead but washes up on the shore of the mountain Xaror resides at years later (it has a reason, too much to write here) and they slowly nurse her back to health, the reason they give for it is that they found their first encounter very fun, thats all (is it?)

(more lore under the cut bc this is already so long .. im trying to keep it short q-q ......... this is stuff i have been working on since i was a kid so uh, some things might be cheesy but i cant change them anymore ..)

just to get some basics out of the way; theres three worlds, the celestials palace, human world and demon world, each are their own planet connected via different gateways

*celestials (possibly not final name, loosely based on angels) are the last remaining "survivors" of their planets demise, when their world died the most powerful among them cannibalized the weaker to sustain themselves until there were only less than 10 left, who each turned into different beings from it and dont resemble their own people much anymore, they built a palace from what was left on their world that protects them from space as its atmosphere collapsed shortly after- however they still needed something to live off; they discover the human world and are delighted to find rather short lived people with powerful souls, the best kind of sustenance for them (now), they aim to herd them like cattle, but a problem arose when it turned out another world has long been in contact with the human world; demons

demons are semi immortal creatures that act as protectors for their world, protection they extended, more or less secretely, to the human world ensuring them a long and secure life- the celestials need them to die at their whim though (demons are few in numbers, hard to kill and rarely have offspring, not an ideal target); as they worked out a plan on how to get rid of demons one of the celestials, Xanthriel (time) grew somewhat fond of people as they spent alot of time in the human world to observe and research them; in the end turning on their own completely, but losing the fight against Uriel (knowledge)

Xanthriel was supposed to be executed for their betrayal, but it doesnt work, instead they are splintered into many parts after a lot of struggle, most body, memory and most strength is one part (ending up as motionless forever bleeding corpse kept locked up in the palace), the rest is some time later gathered together and reforms as a seperate, weak mockery of them, they embody Xanthriels emotion- Xaror, without memory, strangely cut to pieces (hence all the missing limbs and broken halo) but driven by an unstoppable desire to disturb the celestials (they live seperate long enough to each become their own person, at some point Xaror discovers Xanthriels body after all and they merge back together, though as they are now two, Xanthriel only takes over once directly after merging, stays silent for a long time and lets Xaror be themselves, only later revealing that they are there at all .. hiding perhaps- i rarely have specific ideas for voices, but Xanthriels is like, like coarse rocks being violently rubbed against each other, less voice more noise)

(also, the celestials use Xanthriels blood from the day of their execution to create a plague that nearly wipes out all demons, only the youngest of them survived, effectively robbing them of everything, culture, history, knowledge etc- as demons rarely have children, like a complete restart of their society, they disappeared from the human world, and over time being largely forgotten as actually existing- the celestials wanted them all gone however, so they kept kidnapping them to try and find somethign that would work similarly against the young ones too (and then in general, bc the only usable blood of Xanthriel was from the day of their fall, and that has long since been used up) one of the young ones was Shargon, he was the only one still alive from his group

(also, the celestials use Xanthriels blood from the day of their execution to create a plague that nearly wipes out all demons, only the youngest of them survived, effectively robbing them of everything, culture, history, knowledge etc- as demons rarely have children, like a complete restart of their society, they disappeared from the human world, and over time being largely forgotten as actually existing- the celestials wanted them all gone however, so they kept kidnapping them to try and find somethign that would work similarly against the young ones too (and then in general, bc the only usable blood of Xanthriel was from the day of their fall, and that has long since been used up) one of the young ones was Shargon, he was the only one still alive from his group (he wasnt the strongest or special, he was jsut the last in the row and always got the lowest dosage) when Xaror found them in yet another break in into the palace and got him back to the demon world .. where he was promptly blamed for the others that were taken and treated like a pretender/fake/spy bc what he got put through changed his eye color (something that demons cannot change in any form) to one that does not exist among 'real' demons (orange ... notice the inner color of Xarors broken halo? :) ), some even suggesting killing him, but none of them were brave enough to do it (they were all kids still) .. except Eadrya (the big blue-ish one, largely regarded as the strongest demon alive) but Shargon managed to escape, and since then lived largely in isolation- this is part of why he is so hated, and why he starts to spend so much time in the human world after rediscovering the pathway there)

[lagomorphics]

lucky card au thoughts..... smiles

i want the crowns to exist in some way (in this au the 'cults' are represented as the bishops influence over the specific area of Olden Faith Ave) + love it when theres magic going on sooo ive had a few ideas

i think the bishops 'god' status would be represented by something On their person (for nari; she has a pin on her vest that looks like the red crown! and has a giant tattoo on her back as well <3), and also theyre just straight up immortal/way stronger than a regular person

stuff like the mini bosses perhaps have a small accessory of sorts on them that is kinda like a statement of "more trusted/has more power", and definitely stronger than the average person (the witnesses would be even stronger) (hierarchy would be like. bishops > witnesses > mini bosses > lackeys)

these little accessories are also kinda like a 'bind' of sorts? kinda like saying to everyone that "this one has MY power and represents me", im also having way more fun and just saying that its kinda like the bishops are sharing a small bit of power directly from their 'crown'/'godlihood' (i'll find a better way to describe it eventually LMAO)

for Nari + Ines; she gave them a pretty big portion of that power in the form of a ring, did NOT tell them what it was for until they realised "holy shit, this thing can turn into a weapon. and i am Way stronger. what." and then later turned it into an earring because it being a ring flustered them way too much

Nari did this because Ines is the only person she has to deal with her siblings (still doesnt trust Jahel to not betray them lol), and so hes trying to give them a Massive fighting chance here.

"but what about Jahel?" well, they also have some of this power. wonder how they got that though 👀.....

[bayesic-bitch]

Broadly endorsed except I think we won't even have AGI (insanely contested term) on software tbh, not been that impressed by LLMs ability to maintain state. Feel like meaningful lifelong learning is essential to "intelligence."

That's reasonable, I think software is going to require a different approach than raw scaling -- at some point, you need to start incorporating feedback from actually running the code. In particular, I really think there are significant avenues for advancement by training in dependently typed languages. Before DeepSeek made the news with their general language model, they released a paper on learning proof generation in Lean. The benefit here is that since you have a dependently typed language, you can encode the desired behavior of the function in the type signature, and then any program that typechecks is formally guaranteed to be correct and bug-free. This means that 1. you never have to worry about hallucinations, because the code is double checked by a formal system, and 2. you get a reward function that's 100% accurate -- the model wrote a valid function if and only if it typechecks. This makes it really, really easy to both scale up RL and safely deploy it in practice. And looking at both the recent DeepSeek papers, it seems like this scales well and generalizes to other kinds of reasoning tasks that will likely include code generation in traditional languages.

Imo compliant grippers solve a lot of problems but they're obviously much harder to simulate. Also, RL just struggles with out of distribution stuff if you want any kind of reactivity. If you don't simulate it, you can't do it.

Yeah being unable to simulate them is a pain in the ass. My lab has switched to using a lot of suction grippers, but obviously those don't work for everything.

Broadly agree with Rodney Brooks scepticism here.

Rodney Brooks is a useful corrective to the frankly insane amount of hype in AI, but I think he's had a serious blind spot on underestimating the effects of scaling in the past. Ie, I think he was wrong about almost every point he brought up in his Better Lesson post. We did end up ditching all the architectures with hand-engineered translational invariance for bigger dumber models that scale better, and we did it barely a year after his post.

In this post, one particular example jumps out to me

Rodney. Dude. LLMs are also deep learning, this is at best a mild rebranding. We were nowhere near the limits of where we could get with just "more data + more layers + backprop". I know you know that Rodney, you can't possibly count these as a correct prediction. And no shame, I was completely wrong about this too, in 2018 I was expecting an AI winter within 5 years, but to count these as correct is just a wild level of contrarianism

We're gonna have AGI in 20 years. Maybe 10. I'm pilled. I think it's gonna be... well, I'm not an abject doomer but I think there might be some problems.

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

[mintowls]

FIRST EVER ARTIST ALLEY TABLE DONE!!!

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[anomalys-bane]

This is going to be a bit of a ramble. This topic is super interesting and definitely something that needs to be talked about more. I think that a lot of feminists, even radfems when faced with criticisms of things like erotica and fanfics and stuff made by women for women, tend to go down the defensive route and assume that those criticisms come from a place of infantilizing women and believing that women should change their desires to match a political ideology. It's understandable because so much of the criticism comes from a conservative perspective that denies women their sexual agency, so it's only natural that we become defensive.

But I feel in my opinion that we genuinely do not talk enough about how romance books and fanfics and smut are where many girls get their first exposure to sex and sexuality. And literature made by women and for women still upholds that same patriarchal sexual model of active male and passive female at BEST. Just because it is made and consumed by women doesn't mean it's going to be particularly subversive or feminist, nor should we expect it to be. Some radfems also fall into that kind of defensive thinking, that because we acknowledge the socialization that shapes even our deepest desires, we must think that women are stupid and do not know themselves and should change in order to fit a narrative and no longer make that content or consume it. And only when discussing female socialization do we bring out the 'oh you think women are stupid and should change' line. Women can and do uphold consciously uphold patriarchal structures just as men do. Women can and do enjoy and explore the dynamics these structures create, and just as when men do the same, we cannot consider it harmless, even in fiction. Do we ever, upon seeing the kind of content a man consumes, think 'actually he's just exploring patriarchal structures, he's not stupid and it's his choice to do that, doesnt mean he will want that in real life'? 'What if he's actually consuming it consciously?' No, because acknowledging male socialization somehow never degrades a man's intelligence and agency. He is not infantilized. We recognize that while he is socialized he is actively making choices that uphold a structure to women's overall detriment. And that engaging with media that reflects that structure, even if consciously, even if he is engaging with it only as a fantasy, isnt doing anything to change it. Women also uphold that same structure. We can acknowledge that women are conditioned into desiring things that are antithetical to our cause without considering them infantile and stupid and easily influenced. 'Analyzing power dynamics within societies by exploring them sexually' is actually quite a common justification in kink spaces, and again, we focus on the 'submissive's exploration of those dynamics because it is easier to digest than realizing that the dominant is also exploring and enjoying that same structure, and that the submissive, while not in control, plays a significant part in upholding this dynamic.

Heres where it gets tricky though. Sexuality under systems of power is inherently fucked up. Female sexuality is no different. But what can we do to change that? Art imitates life and life imitates art, but I think the first is true more than the second. Social structures need to change in order for our expressions of sexuality to change. Our expressions and inherent beliefs about sexuality need to change in order for default expressions in fiction to change. Not much will change if we change the fiction first. But if women continue to make and consume content that upholds this structure, even consciously as a way to explore their personal desires, arent we still upholding that structure? Obviously the answer is not shaming and forcing them to change. But when it comes to other things that involves agency, like for example engaging in beauty culture, we as radfems recognize that some level of personal change, collective encouragement to break out of oppressive standards, reducing consumption of beauty content and reconditioning ourselves into healthier models and expressions is a part of radfem ideology. I don't see why our personal sexual desires expressed in fiction, that other women and girls consume, should be any different.

All this to say that this can't be considered a non issue or something that 'isn't that deep' with the justification that women know what they want and they're exploring it consciously. We very much are still upholding the same system with our conscious explorations.

What's your take on written erotica/smut like fanfiction? Obviously it's nowhere comparable to porn, but I definitely see problems with it as it can perpetuate misinformation and harmful stereotypes all the same (ie. many tropes are very likely based on exposure to porn).

I do see fanfiction as something of a hobby/safe space made predominantly by women for women. There's creativity and a community involved, and real people aren't being harmed in its production.

What do you think? Is it something feminists should be against? Or is it a gray area?

It's situational and depends on context. Women are allowed to be sexual and explore their desires as much as their boundaries. I also think it's sticky to assume that anything "bad" that a woman says is sexually exciting can only have been learned through socialization. However, socialization can never be removed from sex. So, should women be treated like grown adults who know their own sexual appetites? Surely, yes. Does that mean adult women can't be coerced or socialized into "liking" something they otherwise would not have? Obviously not, that is very possible.

I think there is a history within feminism that can swing a little conservative in this area, moralizing natural sexual instincts and assuming women ought not have sex at all. This is problematic thinking for me, but also I don't ultimately disagree with the benefits of celibacy and how radical and political that decision can be. I celebrate every woman who takes that course of action, for whatever reason and whatever sexuality and to whatever degree. Women do not need to have sex, of any kind, with anyone.

The issue I take, however, is the impulse to assume women can't know their own minds, bodies, and intuitions - or that an individual woman's body belongs to a political agenda before it belongs to herself. This is a general impulse of misogyny as a whole, and I think it's false to assume you don't have this impulse just because you are a feminist. It takes a lot of work, constant lifelong work, to see women as full capable adult humans and also to have a theory of mind about women. Women are not infantile, and sexuality is not inconvenient.

To loop this back to fanfiction, I think we can see a convergence of different issues (mild and serious) with some things that are fact-of-life or even positive. My main concern with "smutty fanfiction" is actually young girls, rather than women. I think a lot of tweens and teens are exposed to raunchy fanfiction before they're exposed to scientific and unmoralizing sexual education. That can cause huge issues for young girls that can lead to issues as young (and even old) women. Should a 13-year-old be masturbating to written BDSM of cartoon characters before she even learns that masturbating is normal and healthy & before she can see any affirmations that "normal" sex is meant to be pleasurable, and women are active participants to it? Not to be puritanical but, uhm, no. Are there, like, policy fixes I think should be in place? I struggle with that.

I think the policy fixes for these issues aren't so much about regulating fanfiction and who gets to access the internet - I think it more has to do with disseminating proper sexual education early and thoughtfully. When it comes to the role of fanfiction and erotica in women's lives in general, perhaps backstage activism is a better route here. Conscious raising groups, books & magazines, getting together with women and girls and having frank and open discussions...these things go a long way in our communities.

But also - girls get to be sexual too, and I think the ways taboo intersects with sexuality isn't so surprising. I don't think feminists need to be overly alarmed when girls are curious and maybe a little naughty. I don't think reading fanfiction is ever going to be worse than watching online porn, least of all that the way your brain processes video is different than how it processes the written word. I don't think a young girl is "doomed" if she reads a particularly explicit book or sees something that is, broadly, disagreeable to feminist thinking. If anything, maybe feminists should be targeting mothers and giving them resources on how to intervene in a healthy way. How do you talk about weird furry porn to your tweenager without making her feel ashamed? How can you make it so that the embarrassing is funny and she feels safe? How can you say "I don't think you should be looking at this" not because it's sexual, but because it distorts sexuality? How do we help mom be cool when maybe mom isn't cool?

I think this is a very interesting topic that deserves attention, and a lot could be written about it. Thanks for the great question.

[spokelseskladden]

Im so mentally ill right now pls hand me my vitamin d pills i need to be fixed, i haven't felt sunlight upon my skin for a week and it's raining over the snow so it's all sloppy and slippery and dark out so i can't go anywhere without getting my feet soaked and my inlaws are asking me what i want for christmas like specifically which means i have to share my interests but i don't want to be perceived right now because I'm feeling the winter paranoia/madness and also i had to take the trashcan out yesterday and faceplanted in the snow and my glasses are all scratched up so i think im going to need new ones and if i want to go ANYWHERE i need to defrost my fucking car on the daily and i hate it. I hate winter i HATE IT. And i have an exam on friday as well as work and a christmas party to attend. I need to move to the forest and become one with nature, just leave society behind and live like Isak in Growth of the soil even though i fucking hate Knut Hansun, that nazi bitch.

[compassmili]

I kinda really hate how I've been treated throughout my life

[pokimoko]

I have had it with these motherfucking spam bots on this motherfucking site.

[daisywords]

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