#but i just don't want you to accept anyone at all hurting me like that

[nkogneatho]

you would be lying if you said you weren't intimidated to meet the gojo clan head but you needed the money and babysitting his grandkids was the only job offer you had managed to land. you'd heard about him a lot. clan head yuuta was old enough to be your granfather. of course you were scared and just wanted to get over with this interview without having the urge to kill the man in front of you. old geezers are scary. and they are annoying, ugly—oh

oh.

but yuuta wasn't. he was scary, sure. the first thing that caught your eye was the dark eyebags. on anyone else, it would look ugly but on him? it had you bewitched.

"please have a sit." fuuuuuuck. he was so soft spoken even if he had some ruggedness to his voice. contrary to the old geezers you've dealt with. you don't speak, just nod and take a seat on the zabuton opposite to him. "was it hard to find the place?"

"uhm...no. you have the whole estate so..." you say meekly. he chuckles. it's low but it's endearing.

"i see. well, as my assistant told you on the phone, wife's not in the picture. i lost my son and daughter-in-law to the missions, leaving my two grandkids behind—"

"i am so sorry for your loss," you interrupt, sympathizing with him. although you've heard it on the phone before, hearing him say it hurts. you cannot imagine what he's going through. he shoots a warm smile your way, accepting your condolences.

"although i do know how to raise kids, think i've lost my touch after all these years. plus the clan head responsibilities take too much time off my day. i need someone to not only look after them but make them feel like they have a normal childhood just like everyone else."

"i understand. losing parents at such an early age, when they can't even form proper sentence, is cruel." yuuta has a hint that whatever you just said might have been coming from a place of personal experience but he chooses not to bring it up. the atmosphere is suddenly very gloomy so he decides to change the subject.

"anyways. as you know, i am an old man now. it's hard to remember things or do things on my own so you're basically babysitting me too." he knows it's lame. but he watches your expression. you're clearly flushed. of course, i am. have you ever seen a mirror?

"yes, sir." fuck. fuckfuckfuck. his cock stirred at the way you cooed that sir. he knows he should tell you that he is comfortable enough if you call him by his name but now that he's heard call you that? no way in hell he is going to correct you.

his cock kept twitching the whole interview. he knew he had to keep you. yes you had the right skils for the job but he's also willing to see what else you can do. how far can he push you.

yuuta gave you a warm smile, walking you to the exit, his yukata thankfully hiding his boner.

"congratulations. see you next week, sweetest."

[love-byers]

I see byler. But it would make me feel so weird because Mike has liked a girl for four seasons and he has treated Will horribly, getting away from him because of a girl. I don't know, it would be pailful to rewatch the show and see all this ald later see byler being canon

i encourage you to rewatch the show because it is just flat out not true that mike "treated will horribly". if mike liking a girl for 4 seasons holds impact then so does the way mike has CANONICALLY treated will during those same seasons.

in s1 mike is determined to find will, believing he was alive even when dustin and lucas didn't. he defended will multiple times ("wait this is will's fault?" "i'm the only one acting normal here! I'm the only one that cares about will!", pushing troy down). he stayed awake in the hospital waiting room so he could go to will immediately when he woke up. he was the first one in will's hospital room and laid his head on will's chest. he breaks into a cheesy grin just watching will play dnd.

in s2 mike is extremely attentive and protective of will. he notices when will wanders outside the arcade and puts an arm around him to guide him back inside, he notices when will is being quieter than usual, he doesn't let anyone else touch will on halloween, he sees himself as will's protector, he comforts will by suggesting they'll lose their minds together, he jumps to will's defense over the dart stuff, he stands in front of will to protect him from dart, he is worked up over will missing school, he stares sadly at will's empty desk, he calls the byers house from a payphone because he's eaten up with worry, he goes to the byers house after school and bangs on the door calling for will, he holds will's hand and assures him all the terrible things he's going through are happening for a reason, he sleeps on will's floor to stay close to him, he sleeps in a chair next to wills hospital bed, he gets flustered when will remembers him despite having amnesia, he notices when something is wrong with will despite him not moving or changing his expression at all, he tearfully recounts the day he met will and describes it as the best thing he's ever done in his whole life.

in s3, yes mike is not a great friend to will all of the time, but it wasn't specifically targeted at will. he and el were being bad friends to the whole group over the summer. and despite that, mike is still attentive to will, noticing when something was wrong in the theater despite the fact that he's supposed to be paying attention to the movie like everyone else. he double checks that will is okay. he immediately back tracks and tries to keep playing dnd when will gets upset, even forcing lucas to backtrack as well. he follows after will when he storms off. he doesn't want will to bike home in the rain. he continues to apologize even though will is ignoring him. he compliments will's campaign and assured him he doesn't think its bad. he's extremely regretful after snapping and saying something hurtful to will. he calls after will, begging him not to leave. he bikes to wills house in a rainstorm and bangs on his door, apologizing and begging will to come outside and talk to him. he doesn't just accept that will doesn't want to talk to him and instead searches through the forest in the dark rain for him. he jumps to defend will and encourages the rest of the group to believe him about the mindflayer. he sticks close to will during the sauna test. he worries about will leaving him behind when he moves to california. he is delighted when will assures him thats its impossible. he tearfully hugs will goodbye. im not gonna go into the byler coding in hop's letter because some would say it's speculative, but yeah. mike was fucking devastated at losing will.

between s3 and 4 mike is eaten up by the idea of will not reaching out and making new friends. he feels like he lost will. he openly complains about joyce's job holding up the line because he wants to talk to will. he mopes in his basement and plays nintendo because he misses will. to him everything feels weird because will isn't there. hawkins no longer feels like home because will isn't there. he loves his other friends but finds that there's something different about what he feels towards will.

then in s4 mike does start out being a dick towards will. or at least it looks that way. it seems like mike doesn't want anything to do with will, but later on he flat out admits that that wasn't the case at all. he was still being highly attentive to will, analyzing his facial expressions and demeanor and hoping will to talk to him. will didn't ruin mikes day by being too involved in his date with his girlfriend, he ruined it by not being involved. he stays close to will after el hits angela, literally shoulder to shoulder with him. he seeks will out to apologize to him and let him know he didn't deserve the way he'd been treated, and goes on to tell him how much he'd missed him and how he was afraid he'd lost him. he wants them to be best friends again. he wants he and will to be a team through whatever happens next. he is overjoyed when he thinks will made a painting for him. he assures will that they will kill vecna together and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder (despite the fact that he was too s scared to hug will 5 days earlier). he stays at will's side when the world is ending right before their eyes.

i truly truly do not understand why people say will deserves better than mike because the entire fucking point of their dynamic is that he handles will with much more care than he does others. im sorry but it really just sounds like an excuse to say byler bad without sounding problematic because the truth is that you just don't want mike to be queer. mike is very tender and caring with will and trusts him above anyone else. will is the same way towards mike. and he is devastatingly in love with mike. mike who has done everything stated above for him. why would they not be a good match? why does will not deserve the person he feels understands him better than anyone else, the person who makes him feel loved and special in a word turned against him? bffr

and about mike getting away from will because of a girl, this is a very common trope in childhood friends to lovers stories. that is what deepens the relationship between the two friends. the jealousy, the pining, the emotionally charged arguments. one of the friends usually doesn't realize what they have until they are faced with losing it. hello, s3 epilogue! the love triangle dynamic has already been used multiple times in stranger things. nancy genuinely did have romantic feelings for steve even when she got with jonathan. joyce had genuine romantic feelings for bob despite the fact that she was clearly in love with hopper. the writers have clearly shown that love is something entirely separate from attraction, and that it's easy to get lost along the path to it and get those feelings mixed up. why would it be any different for mike? especially if he's queer and in love with a boy? that makes everything 100x more confusing. especially if he's bisexual because the world back then conditioned people to think there was only homosexuals and 'normal' people. it would be so difficult for mike to figure everything out if his romantic feelings towards el are very much real, because he doesn't think he can have both. he feels caught between two slides, as one might say.

so yeah rewatch the show with an open mind and i promise you it will not make you feel weird, it will actually make a whole lot more sense. and if it does make you feel weird then i think you need to address an underlying attitude towards gay people. im not flat out calling you homophobic, it's very easy to be biased and not even know it when the world is as heteronormative as it is. just try to have an open mind

[chanrizard]

BANG CHAN'S INTERVIEW FOR HARPER'S BAZAAR KOREA

translation © channie_says

Q: with HOP you have achieved your 6th consecutive debut at No.1 billboard US chart in the first week of release. Billboard charts and the album sales can be important but as the leader of the team and a producer, Bang Chan, I wonder if there are other ways to measure the success. What else do Stray Kids need to show next?

BC: "it's yet to happen" "we have a long way to go" is what I usually say when people around me tell me that we have grown so big.

I even hear things like "stop being humble, you don't need to do that anymore" but I couldn't do that. Success is a thing that is still far from us. We'll keep on running. Our direction is decided but the destination is still unknown. The goal that everyone knows, I'm curious about what's next/beyond that. We want to go till there.

Q: Stray Kids is like the personification of energy to me. Not only in the songs and performances of each of you but also the growth since your debut till now. You have reached here by taking one step at a time and running without resting. What is the source of your energy?

BC: if you observe every member, you'll see that everyone has something burning inside them. That hot ember burns vigorously when we are on stage. STAY also fuels it continuously. (laughs) Honestly the flames can get weaker as time passes by, but if a flame dies out in our team then it gets reignited quickly because there are 7 remaining flames! We're busy keeping each other warm.

Q: what form does straykids' pride take?

BC: it might be cringy but I think loving the members and being understanding towards each other. I really think of us as real brothers.

Q: is it closer to friendship than teamwork?

BC: Uhm, it's love more than friendship. Should say, if teamwork can be consciously matched, for us it just comes from the heart.

That's why we can understand (each other) even if we make mistakes, and want to evolve with each other. I think that's the most important thing. Sometimes i wonder too, how can we be like this.

Q: do you have an answer to that?

BC: recently I thought "shouldn't we be a little more mature" but then another part of me was like "do we really need to, tho". When we are together we're still like kids in their teens because we're too busy constantly teasing each other. As the oldest, I get subjected to it the most. It's really childish but I like that childishness. That's how real friends are. Forcefully pretending to be mature according to your biological age is boring. In the future too, we'll keep being childish like we are.

Q: maybe the answer could just be that you all haven't grown up but leader Bang Chan seems to have a really heavy burden on his shoulders. What sense of duty does Bang Chan feel now?

BC: I don't know if l am doing well as a leader. Since i don't know, I'm working harder to do better. I have to produce too, and take care of the members too...the pressure is a lot. It's an obsession. I'm trying to accept it these days. even if the members' emotional state synchronizes, there's times that I pretend to not know/ notice it. If I see it then I would want to fix it and take care of the members but that's my obsession and everyone is an adult.

They might not even like it if I step in. I'm trying to consciously put "members can do well on their own" in my head. It's gotten really better if I compare it to when we debuted (laughs).

Q: Your nickname is 'bangbeoji' (bangfather) right? That sounds like a problem my dad who has raised children might have (laughs). Were you a strict leader during your trainee days?

BC: l feel really sorry about treating the members coldly back then. My trainee life was really long, I was the only one left as all my close friends debuted, left, new ones came, and left again....after going through such situations repeatedly, my personality changed drastically. I didn't wanna get hurt anymore so I decided that I wouldn't get closer to anyone. It was the darkest time of my life. l was worrying thinking 'now what will happen with my life' and that's when the members appeared in front of me.

Q: you're really strict with yourself, aren't you?

BC: I'm the type to point out and worry about the smallest things that don't even matter. When I watch back our performances, I always think "why did i do it like that" and I'm almost never satisfied with myself but what will I do if I only like myself. It's good if I like others too. I can't become a self-centered person.

On top of that, music/songs doesn't have an answer. Even while producing I try my best and work hard and make constant improvements based on the reactions that I saw while letting people listen to it, that's the type of person am. I haven't lived long but while living I have found that there's a lot of people I'm grateful for. Company employees, members, family, friends... I want to thank them all.

To do that, I think it's really important to make a result that will satisfy everyone a little more.

Q: we wanna know Bang Chan's playlist.

BC: honestly from the position of someone who has to continuously make songs, it's hard to listen to others' songs. I always end up listening with intent. These days I enjoy listening to sounds from the outside. Sounds of the city, car sounds, sounds of kids running around and playing in the playground.

Q: are you gonna end up wearing a bucket (on your head) later like ryuichi sakamoto? (laughs)

BC: I have even done things like that in the past like just tapping my elbow with a microphone and carefulylistening to the sound it makes. Since I arrange the songs myself, that's why I wonder if there are any unique sounds.

Q: the things bangchan is thinking of these days, feeling these days too, those will come out in the world as your work someday, right? with that, I'm curious of what you're feeling these days and what has been on your mind recently.

BC: what were my inner thoughts recently... (musing out loud) uhm...I'm feeling 'confused'

Q: I expected it to be 'excited like a kid' or 'calm like a saint' but that was unexpected.

BC: these days I'm very confused internally but didn't wanna let that confusion out, I hate to influence other people with negativity for no reason. For this feeling to calm down, I have found that the way is maintaining a calm state. I think the members say "eh? why is that hyung like this these days" after seeing that. (laughs)

Q: that's why you also have started boxing in the new year?

BC: when l took my first lesson, I felt really good. It felt good to focus on something without any useless thoughts for 1 hour. Boxing really feels like meditation to me.

Q: what's making Bang Chan confused?

BC: the fact that people are all different. Really different. I knew it already but it came to me like a new thing. This person is like this, that person is like that. I can't fix them, and there's no need to fix them so I not understand it? No, but still I should... that's what it's like inside my head these days.

Q: you described it as "confusion" but Bang Chan right now seems to be in the middle of putting a lot of effort into understanding the world or people no matter what.

BC: I feel like I came here for mental counseling (laughs). Yes, you're right. As I said I'm not really a self-centered person but still I'm trying to live for myself these days.

Q: you set foot in the entertainment industry at a really young age, leaving your home, austrailia. if we count your trainee years too then it has been 15 years. What keeps you grounded when you feel shaken?

BC: the members. I don't want to become a person they feel ashamed of. I want to hear the members say things like "that hyung is genuine" "that hyung is cool" the most. I'm really childish. (laughs)

Q: l got a hint from"that hyung is genuine". It's said that psychologically, the compliment that makes a person the happiest tells about what they think of as the most valuable thing in their life.

BC: me and the members aren't very expressive/good at expressing ourselves. I don't know what they think but I want to be a reliable and trustable hyung to the kids. I think I might have the need to feel acknowledged a little after all.

Q: if you look at the things you've done till now, it doesn't feel like success came to you really quick but you're still very young. What kind of adult/man do you want to become?

BC: first of all, I wanna be with the members for a long time. I think it'd be really funny to become grandfathers (old men) and say "it was like that back in the days" but honestly I feel like I'm always stuck at 25.

Q: you're forever 25.

BC: yes, I want to keep on living as a 25 year old but reporter-nim*, what does growing up even mean? *joking*

Q: from our conversation today, it seems like you're in the midst of that process Bang Chan-ssi. Accepting things you can't change, knowing how to let go, listening carefully to other people's opinions. On top of that, you said earlier that you are confused in the process of trying to understand others' world, that's essential.

BC: it's not something that happens naturally? then I might really be growing up (laughs)

*reporter felt weird without a "nim" and there isn't really another way to make it sound respectful and not monotoned because ENGLISH FUCKING SUCKS but anyway (translator's note)

[thezombieprostitute]

Hii! 🥰 If it’s okay, can I please request a Ransom x shy!fem!reader where she’s his gf and he loves making her all flustered and shy? Like he spoils her with SO MUCH love, affection, flirting, and gifts and he absolutely LOVES her reactions (she’d definitely hide her head in his chest)

If there's one thing we all know about Ransom it's that he loves getting reactions from people. This probably isn't the story you were hoping for but it's the one that Ransom gave me.

Ransom Drysdale x Shy!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Bad family, Self-esteem issues, Stalker behavior. Please let me know if I missed any!

The first time Ransom flirted with you, you were certain it was a prank. Your face heated with embarrassment and you basically ran away.

It was rather unique experience for him and he was intrigued. He decided to run some tests and see if that's just how you were or if it was him specifically. He frequented the bookstore you worked at, observing your interactions with others versus himself. Some may have called it "stalking" but he called it "research". And he'd spend enough money at the store your boss would never tell him he wasn't welcome.

When he realizes you weren't faking, that you react the same whenever anyone gives you a compliment, he's even more intrigued. He's never seen someone so easily flustered and thinks you could be a lot of fun to play with.

Just like when he first flirted with you, when he asked you out on a date you immediately thought it was a prank and tried to run off. He cut in front of you, careful not to touch you without permission (he doesn't need an assault charge, after all).

"I'm being serious," he tells you. "I'm not trying to hurt you, I just...you seem like an interesting person and I'd like to get to know you better."

Your face is burning as you look down at your feet. "I just want to work, sir."

"Please? Just one date," he offers with that look he knows works on all the ladies. Well, all but you because you're not looking at him. "How about just a coffee together at the cafe next door? Please?"

And that's how you and Ransom started dating. Much to his mother's chagrin.

Initially Linda just scoffed when she met you. A bookstore employee dating her son? No way was this going to last. Best to not even get to know the poor girl's name. Ransom was just gonna use you for his amusement and dump you like he always does.

Except he doesn't. Over the months Ransom finds himself more and more amused and intrigued by you and your overly shy reactions. Sure it was just a fun experiment to begin with but he's finding he enjoys being your anchor. He likes that someone finds him so reliable, so safe. It's a side of himself he never knew about until you. The fact that, even after all these months of "spoiling" you, you still don't expect him to is something very new for him.

You never shrug at the gifts. You never ask for them, either. Part of him worries you'll never understand that it's okay to accept compliments, to accept gifts. So he makes sure to shower you in both, hoping it'll sink in.

"For the last time, Linda, I'm not getting rid of her."

"She's beneath you, Ransom. I get you've found yourself a charity case, but you can't get emotionally attached to these things."

"She's not a thing."

"But you agree she's a charity case," Linda asserts. "I've seen your spending habits, Ransom. You can't expect me to think she's at all good for you! She's clearly just interested in getting her grubby hands on our fortune!"

Ransom rolls his eyes. "She has never asked for any of the stuff I get her. I get them for her because her reactions are so much fun."

Linda rolls her own eyes, "I don't need to hear about your exploits in bed. I need you to get your spending under control and drop the gold digger!"

"But I'm having so much fun!" Ransom pleads. If his mother won't listen to reason, maybe she'll listen to this.

"Ugh, fine. Keep playing with your...toy. Just don't expect me to like her. And definitely tell me when you've finally dumped her back in the trailer home she came from. I've got a girl lined up for you that I think you'll like."

Ransom knows whoever it is his mother wants to set him up with is the daughter, niece, cousin of one of her friends. He'd rather die than date them. But he's done with this conversation so he turns away and that's when he sees you, crying.

"I'm...I'm just gonna go," you mumble before running off.

Ransom tries to go after you but Linda holds him back saying, "it's for the best. Now she finally knows, you're both done with each other. So let me tell you about Trillia. She's Karen's niece..."

Ransom doesn't hear anything. He breaks her grip and goes storming out after you but once outside, he can't find you. He tries texting, calling, messaging, everything he can think but no response.

After a bit he drives over to your apartment complex. He hits the buzzer for your apartment, no response. Maybe you weren't home yet? The buses weren't the most reliable. Maybe you'd taken the wrong bus? Fuck. He sits in his car and decides to wait. Every 15 or 20 minutes he tries calling you but you still don't answer.

Well, there's one place he knows you'll be at eventually.

It's taken a few days of waiting. Apparently you've been calling in sick. Ransom can understand that, given the likely shock you were experiencing. He hadn't been taking the best care of himself while trying to get hold of you again. He'd even developed a bit of stubble because he couldn't be bothered to shave.

But now, finally, you were back at work and he could talk to you. Well, he could if you'd let him. He knows creating a scene will make things worse for you so he's trying his best to not call out, yell at you to stop ignoring him, whatever. But you know the store so much better than him and are frequently able to get away, making him look for you all over again.

When it finally sinks in that he's not going to give up you let him find you one last time. Before he can even open his mouth you tell him, "it's over Ransom. I knew you were never interested in me so I'm just giving us both the blessing of cutting things off."

"I was just telling my mother what she wanted to hear. What I knew would get her off our backs. How could you think I was never interested?"

"You never took 'no' for an answer," you tell him bluntly. "I didn't want to go on a date, but you wouldn't leave me alone. I didn't want the expensive gifts you got me, but you insisted. i'd practically beg you to stop buying me things but you wouldn't hear it. It was all about you, never me. How could I not know you weren't actually interested?"

"Well excuse me for wanting to shower you with gifts!" Ransom immediately regrets snapping at you, making you wince. "I'm sorry. I just...I thought..."

"You enjoyed making me uncomfortable," you sigh. "You're not the first, won't be the last. I know I'm ridiculous. That I shouldn't be so shy. But you didn't have to make fun of me for it."

Ransom feels his heart break. It's true, he enjoyed your reactions, enjoyed being the one you hugged, and hid with. But was it really fair to you? He really never considered your discomfort beyond his own enjoyment of it. Beyond his own need to feel needed.

"I'm sorry," he finally sputters. "I'll...I'll try to be better."

You shake your head, "it's for the best, Ransom. Now please, for once, respect my 'no' and leave me alone."

Ransom wants to argue. To say it's not what you think. To swear to do better by you in the future. But it would only serve to prove your point. So instead he nods and leaves.

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @irishhappiness; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63

[genderqueerdykes]

I'm transfem but boymoding in public. I have HRT on my shelf waiting for me, I'm getting more tired of hiding myself every day, but so many of the trans women I see, especially online, just seem miserable?

I tried talking about community building and creating trans normal and trans contentment at an event and got told that people are tired of trans joy and community building and there needs to be more trans anger.

I can deal with bigots. It's literally my job to deal with bigots, but I feel like I'm being put off at this point because so much of the community defines itself by suffering and I do not want to suffer.

I feel like if I start HRT I'll be too trans to be accepted in public but won't be able to find community among trans people because I don't believe in TMA/E divisionist bs

thank you so much for taking the time to send this, i really appreciate you. thank you for taking the time to share your story

I tried talking about community building and creating trans normal and trans contentment at an event and got told that people are tired of trans joy and community building and there needs to be more trans anger.

holy. fucking. shit anon i am so, so sorry you were told that. how the hell are people "tired of trans joy and community building"? what the FUCK does that mean? how jaded and bitter and disenfranchised do you have to believe that "everyone" is "over" being... happy about being trans? trans anger has its place but how is anyone "over" being happy? that is the most defeatist shit i have ever heard in my life. that honestly sounds EXACTLY like the bullshit negative headspace you get into when you're VERY depressed that just makes you hate literally everything. you don't just have to roll over and be miserable because things suck. you don't have to consign yourself to a life of misery just because you're transfem. what the hell. how the hell is that supposed to empower anyone?

thank you for pointing these things out. what a lot of trans women and transfemmes are doing right now is wallowing in their misery. misery does not keep you safe, it keeps you trapped in your pain. focusing on how miserable you are is keeping yourself stuck in the past. you will never progress beyond misery if you refuse to try to break free of it. yes, we suffer. yes, our lives are hard. but why are we focusing on the bad all the time? you can have trans rage and experience trans joy at the exact same time. they're not mutually exclusive.

I feel like if I start HRT I'll be too trans to be accepted in public but won't be able to find community among trans people because I don't believe in TMA/E divisionist bs

that hurts me deeply to read, i am so sorry. i was just standing on my porch having a similar thought, which is i feel more alienated by the queer community right now than i do the general public. i get less flak from cishet people than i do other queers. isn't that fucking sad? we've made the community hostile to our own, each other, not even outsiders who are genuinely trying to oppress us. we're more hostile towards transmascs and men than we are cops trying to enter our spaces. we kick masc nonbinary people out of queer spaces, but then gladly let rad fems in.

i'm glad to hear that you also don't believe in the TME/TMA bullshit, but it sucks so bad that you feel like you will be alienated from other trans women because of it. i really want a lot of the transfems and trans women who do these things to understand that they are hurting other trans women and transfems, NOT just trans men and mascs. like this behavior affects more than just trans men and mascs- it's alienating you from your own community. literally where you belong, and you feel alienated. you're not the only trans woman who's reached out to me about this. how is this behavior supposed to uplift and empower trans women if all it's doing is alienating us from our own communities?

take care of yourself, anon. i hope things improve for you. you have every right to not want to continue suffering like that. you're not obligated to sulk and focus on how bad you have it every single day just because you're transfem, you literally KNOW how bad transfems have it. you don't need to be repeatedly reminded how bad we have it. you don't need to constantly be thinking about it. you don't need to constantly remind yourself that you're miserable in order to be a transfem.

that's your reality. you don't want to stay trapped in the parts that suck, you just want to be yourself, and that's what transness is all about. i hope you're able to start HRT soon and stop hiding and just be yourself. you deserve that. there are still plenty of kind, open minded transfems and trans women who don't behave this way, and i hope some make their way into your life so you can talk to people who get you without fear of being made to feel bad for no reason. if you have any questions about it or need any help, please feel free to come by and ask any questions you may have, we'll be happy to help! you've got the right approach, other people just need to catch up. thanks for stopping by, feel free to come by again any time

[slimyenemy]

i think it will be really cool if they don't hurt me despite not feeling anything that much for me

[seventh-district]

Sam: "Look at me. Hey- look at me a second. I know. I know you're tough. I know how strong you are. You have every right to be proud of that. But being able to handle somethin' doesn't mean you should have to. Least of all when I'm right here trying to help. Please let me help. If not for you then for me, because I don't like knowin' you're hurtin', especially when there's somethin' I can do about it."

Me, shaking my head, fighting back literal tears: "B-but it's gonna give you another headache!"

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

you know if we do accept the last epilogue-esque sequence as a sort of dream/wish of ted's and therefore not necessarily canon, very funny if we then simply go "yeah, trent's book is called 'the lasso way' actually. he didn't change that. nope."

[theokusgallery]

The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first

[cielosuerte]

something distinctly sad & frustrating internally about watching someone go through something chronically awful & similar on the face of it to your own horrors & wanting to reach out and talk to them about it to offer support & knowing that by nature of the similarity that is almost definitely the last thing they want/need & so you have to sort of watch from afar and psychically beam your words at them and hope it clicks soon

[slamrink]

klay 0 points but he looked sexygorgeous doing it + lockdown defense + mavs WIN and dubs clinch so im leaving here with something 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[giantkillerjack]

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

[stereax]

saw you post 'listen before you go', thought you'd enjoy this:

oh...

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I think I've been touchy lately about my feelings of access to/participation in generativity. I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately by how much needs doing and how much disparate but necessary information I'm keeping in my head. I should probably get back into my thought maps for the work on the yard and house, because I think that will make it easier for me to empty my head when I'm not actively trying to work on something.

[icharchivist]

also yeesh i do keep mentioning it feels weird to go back in my ff7 tags and see so many people i used to talk with a lot or was very familiar with seeing on my dash, and seeing them desactivated or not active for a while, but there's another layer to it to see some of the inactive blogs basically going inactive once they finished playing the remake 4 years ago and were so disappointed with it they just disappeared from the ff7 fandom.

like, yeah fair, but to really see how the exact remake that brought us together when it was announced and kept us talking for half a decade, ended up disappointing so much that so many of us are just gone is just...... so sad.......

[starpros-sunshine]

I used to be funny you know? I used to have good humour and now every time I try to crack a joke I just feel awkward like I could've gotten that one delivered so much better. Smitten with the curse of not being able to be serious while also being horrible at being silly. If you ask me I'd rather be smitten with other curses but such is life I suppose.