#but i hope he takes a holiday

[endlich-allein]

Till Lindemann Band, Lotto Arena, Antwerp, Belgium, 10-12-2023 @ chris_stessens

[97keanu]

figure skating for the first time x keanuverse ? ⛸️🤍🎄❄️

*˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ohohoho this is perfect !!!! Thank you for asking, I've had this on my mind for a bit now! (And I may also be writing a fuller fic for such a thing with reader x young!JW :3c) John Constantine, Kevin Lomax, and Neo undercut! Pure fluff!

❄️.*ㅤ Since he's on my mind, older John would love going ice skating with you! He's probably done it at least once himself, and if not, with as skilled as he is as working his body through the movies, I think he would manage just fine! I also have a head canon that when he grew up with The Director, they didn't seperate teaching ballet by gender of who was there (no "just girls learn ballet, boys learn how to kill" deal.) So, I like to think of John Wick as someone who can do all he does because he also has a rigorous background in learning ballet, having those precise body movements, knowing how to work every muscle in his body to his advantage.

Therefore, I would like to imagine that John takes you to the nearest rink (or perhaps a lake he knows that's more private?) And actually helps to teach you how to skate better (or how to at all if you don't know how!). He would be patient, watching you and only stepping in when you need it, his arms wrapping around your waist or steadying your elbow.

Eventually, you're doing it on your own, and John is there watching you, a smile creeping on his face from being able to teach you something so intimate to him. He actually has to be the one to stop you once the night starts setting in, the temperature getting way too cold to stay out in much longer.

He takes you back to his mustang and already has a fuzzy blanket there to wrap you in. You in the night back at his apartment, drinking a late night coffee and John listening to you giggle about how much fun you had with a warm heart.

❄️.*ㅤTed Logan however, lives in sunny California, so they don't see snow or ice often enough for ice skating to be a regular ordeal. He is your skater boyfriend however, so when you do end up finding a indoor rink to take him too, he thinks he will be pretty good at it from the get go. And he isn't horrible, he knows how to balance well and tries to stay up right, but it's actually so different from riding his skateboard or even rollerskates that it takes him a moment or two to get really good at it. Once he has it down though, he's skating around, pulling you by your hands until you two are laughing and doing goofy circles around the rink. Eventually, his himbo-ness gets the best of him, and as he's admiring how pretty your hair looks under the ice rink lights, he slips, bringing you down with him. He takes the harder of the fall, you fall on top of him with rosy cheeks and a smile already forming from how silly your boyfriend can be. You two end up laying there and laughing in the middle of the rink for way too long, maybe even annoying a few other skaters, but you two couldn't care if you tried. The night ends with the two of you warming up at a nearby cafe with hot cocoa and plans to try it again sometime.

❄️.*ㅤJohn Constantine would flat out refuse to go ice skating with you. Your big doe eyes would plead with him, but that's not going to change his mind. You tell him how much you enjoyed going as a child, how you love to ice skate, but you're not going to find a Los Angeles city boy like him on an ice rink anytime soon. Or, are you?

Maybe after his refusal, he takes on a demon hunting case that just so happens to lead him to a hockey rink. When the chase leads you two there, you don't see John stop to think about what he's doing as he tries to run out onto the ice. You go after him, your sneakers sliding and skidding on the slippery surface, but your years of practice skating have you able to keep your balance. To your dismay, ahead of you, Constantine is not someone who's trained in such things, and for the first time ever(and probably the last), you see Constantine fall flat on his ass. You easily skid by, reaching out a hand to help him up, and he can't deny grumbling a 'thank you". By the time you're ready to resume chase, the demon is gone.

"See? If we had just gone skating last Saturday, maybe you would have been prepared for this type of thing!" You know you shouldn't rub it in, but you can't help pointing out the truth.

"Yeah, yeah," Constantine carefully finds his way to the rinks edge, and gets out onto non-slippery flooring. "Okay, Maybe I'll take you next time..."

You squeal with joy and the two of you end the night with you having a hot tea in his apartment and Constantine taking a whiskey and nursing his bruised backside.

❄️.*ㅤKevin Lomax is not one for ice skating. Our good southern boy hasn't even roller skated a day in his life, and he's not about to trade his cowboy boots for a pair of blades.

"Please, Kevin! I really want to go skating!" You pester him, and eventually he caves, lucky that New York gets more snow than Florida.

He wraps you, and himself, up tight in winter clothes, and bites back complaints about how cold it is. He takes you to a local spot that he's heard of, and only a few other couples are out at the rink. Good, less people to have to see him fall on his ass when this goes awry.

He still has to maintain the confidence of a business man, so he keeps his lawyer smile on and helps you into your skates. At first, he let's you go ahead and skate without him, watching you perform moves he is actually pretty entranced with. When you pull your leg up over your head, he actually gives a holler out of support("Yeah that's my wife/girlfriend!").

Eventually, when everyone else has left, you persuade him into trying on a pair of skates, and to your surprise, he does. You gently take him out onto the ice, and for a few moments he's actually doing it! You let go gently, and he glides by himself, able to get down the simple movements, but nothing too crazy. In the end, you two do slow circles in the middle of the rink, face to face with each other. Kevin looks deeply in your eyes, and you're happy he's obliged your silly request. He leans in for a kiss, and you feel your legs shake on your skates. To your surprise, you're the one who's lost your balance first, and Kevin catches you with a laugh.

"Too much for you, darlin'?" He whispers with that husky southern voice, and the redness in your cheeks isn't just from the cold anymore.

The two of you end the night at a fancy dinner spot, something expensive, decorated in holiday spirit and the sound of a live pianist and violinist playing soft Christmas tunes.

❄️.*ㅤNeo lives in Chicago, so he's no stranger to the cold or navigating ice. I believe he likely has gone ice skating before, probably as a child, but hasn't done that in many years. When you ask him, he's apprehensive, but it doesn't take much begging for him to agree.

He takes you to a spot that's supposed to be the best experience, and only after you two have bought your tickets do you realize it's PACKED. There's way too many people here for Neo's comfort, or yours for that matter, and after about an hour of trying to find your way onto the ice where you two can have some alone time, you see it's not going to happen tonight and give up.

Neo makes it up to you by taking you to your favorite dinner spot. It's an enjoyable date night still, but he can tell how badly you wanted to go and can see the disappointment that you couldn't.

So, after about a week, he tells you that he's taking you out for a surprise.

When you arrive to this mystery destination, you realize it's the same ice rink. You ask him why, knowing it's another Saturday and it will be packed just like before, but Neo motions to the lack of people in the parking lot.

"What...?" You say as you begin to piece things together. "How did you...?"

"We have the whole place to ourselves. I took out every ticket just for us." He says slyly, obviously proud of this feat.

"What do you mean? That has to be crazy expensive!" You know Neo is well enough off, but that sorta price is excessive even for him.

"Well, their website for buying tickets was particually hard to hack..." He looks over at you with a smirk and smiles big when you throw your hands around his neck, gleeful for his talent tonight.

"No! You didn't! Neo..." You say into his neck giving him a big squeeze. "Thank you..."

The two of you head inside and are treated like unknown celebrities, putting on an air of being such, and trying to remain lowkey. You both have fun pretending to be people you're not, and Neo skates alongside you easily, even taking the risk of dipping you back and twirling you a few times. You're surprised your typical home dwelling boyfriend could be so suave and savvy, but you enjoy it nonetheless. You get hot drinks at a concession stand, and eat pretzels and Chicago style hotdogs to your content.

[passionartx]

A few days ago I got cast as Dorothy in my local theatre company’s production of The Wizard Of Oz and I just know this means I’m gonna be hyperfixating on @whotfletamothhyperfx’s @sonicwizardofozau 10 times harder! So I decided to draw their AU Tails design + T-Pup

!Defo check their au out if you haven’t already cause ahhh it’s so, so good! The world building, the character designs, the art, the everything!✨!

[awakenthebeing]

i had a pretty rough time these holidays. how would piepoe comfort? (im ok dont worry <3)

[truethes]

sb remind me to further discuss luoc.ha and also the luoc.ha and jin.g yuan parallels in hope they'll rerun the perfect timing lc with sun.day's

[psychicthepsychic-daily]

Psychic third wheeling on everyone's dates.

DD and MM. BF and GF. Even Void and Sadcholy, though the former adamantly refuses to admit his elaborately planned 'hangouts' are anything more and pointing out he wouldn't invite Psychic if that were the case.

Psychic feeling left out but also knowing he could never pour that much energy into a single person, be they his soulmate or not, when he's already found the Dearests. He doesn't want a relationship like that, not when he's already formed a bond with his family, equally as meaningful and no less important.

They don't necessarily feel the same way. And although he understands, he misses when it was just him and GF, when he, Saddy, and Void were just the cringefail trio. Sometimes he reminisces on the days of serving Dearest before the man's wife came into their lives.

he knows and believes they each deserve to be happy together but he's feeling emotionally isolated from them AWHJADSJ *buries face in pillow* *muffled screeching*

mod note: in my interpretation, along with being ace, Psychic is also near the sex-repulsed end of the spectrum and while he's not aro, he's not interested in being in a relationship.

[waloeders]

i hate taking days off work but i am off today now so. fingers crossed my boss doesnt get too annoyed

[serabellyms]

💖

[softquietsteadylove]

So, it's Christmas time and i thought about something cute that would match the little interaction between Thena and Jack. Jack would have loved Gil and his food. So maybe Gilgamesh is helping Jack to bake some cookies and other sweet things for a Christmas charity event at Jacks school. The earned money will go to poor families and their children, who cannot afford buying Christmas presents. So Gil and Thena, obviously, and Ben and Phastos are there, at this charity event, watching (and maybe helping) Jack selling the self-made stuff to nice people.

I hope you feel better and less stressed. No one needs Christmas filled with stress and discomfort. It should be a time of joy and making other people and yourself happy.

Once again i want to thank you for your work, for your stories and your kind words. You're a special person, bringing so much light to the people in this fandom. Thank you. 🖤✨🎄

"Will you two stop feeding each other cookies!"

Thena and Gil both barely looked at Phastos, caught up in sharing cookies one bite at a time until they would inevitably end up kissing. Thena licked her lips, "it's only one cookie each time."

"Thena, I swear to-" Phastos huffed but cut himself off. He knew damn well that not only was it futile to argue with his sister, especially over something like this, but also that they were here for more important things.

"Hey, I made them," Gil complained loudly before kissing Thena even louder again. "I get to use them to lure my wife into kissing me as much as I want."

"Jack made them," Phastos corrected his incorrigible siblings freely, "you two canoodled the whole time."

"Actually, Dad, Uncle Gil made them," Jack corrected, completely oblivious to how he was betraying his father. "I helped measure some of the stuff, but Aunt Thena and I mostly decorated them."

Yes, Thena had been giving only white icing and very specific instructions. If given red frosting at all, she tended to start illustrating various injuries on the gingerbread men.

Ben turned away from yet another sale, putting away the profit in the name of charity. "Leave them be, Habibi."

"They're eating the product," Phastos reminded his husband with a hand on his shoulder, "it's not good business practice."

"Thank you," Jack smiled as he sold another cookie to another bake sale goer. He looked back at his family, "it's okay, Dad. Uncle Gil said he that he would make extra just for this."

Of course he did. Phastos rolled his eyes before glaring at his brother, "you are the worst, y'know that?"

"Hm, I can't hear you," Gil laughed. He was far too immersed as Thena raised another shortbread to his lips, letting him take the first bite. She leaned in for the second, and once again, by the third, he was kissing the buttery crumbs off her lips for her.

Phastos shook his head, instead looking down at his son, "how are things lookin', buddy?"

"I think we're almost there," Jack smiled, looking into the box provided by the school to keep their earnings in. They would all be compiled together into a water cooler jug and then donated to the appropriate local resources to help those who couldn't buy gifts for this season.

"We're very proud of you, Jack," Ben smiled at their son, running a hand over the boy's hair. "It was a great idea to volunteer for the charity bake sale."

"Well, I knew Uncle Gil would help with the baking," Jack admitted sheepishly.

"Hey, I would have helped you," Phastos frowned.

"Yeah, but Uncle Gil's cookies are the best."

Phastos sighed, patting his poor, weathered heart, "gets me every time."

"He's right," Thena stated proudly, much to her brother's further frustration. She leaned over her nephew's shoulder, admiring his riches. "Is this sufficient?"

"I think so, and we're almost sold out!" Jack grinned at their increasingly sparse inventory. "I knew they'd be popular."

"Everything Uncle Gil makes is popular," she smiled at Jack, patting his shoulder in a rare instance of physical affection.

"It's a wonder we got any sales with you two back here makin' out the whole time," Phastos turned on them again, batting Gil with his scarf in substitute of snapping a towel at him.

"Jack wanted us to come!" Gil laughed, swatting away the scarf easily. "And I told him expressly there would be kissing."

"They're always kissing," Jack shrugged as he sorted the money in their box properly. "I'm used to it by now."

Thena made her way back to her husband's side, grabbing the end of Phastos' scarf and taking it for herself. "Now that this is done, is it technically your winter break?"

"Yep!" Jack turned to his Aunt with a grin, having told her excitedly that once he was officially on Christmas break from school that he wanted to do all kinds of things with her and Uncle Gil. "Can we still build a giant hill to go sledding on?"

"Anything you want," Thena responded instantly her sweet nephew.

"Yes!"

"Excuse me," Phastos frowned, still reaching for his scarf and still being denied. "What giant hill is this?"

"Dad, it's fine," Jack pouted, already whining about his father's habit of overprotectiveness.

"Yeah, I'll be there," Gil shrugged, letting Thena wind Phastos' scarf around his neck instead. "And she won't let anything happen to him."

Phastos knew that, of course, but he still had very strict rules about Jack's feet leaving the ground and for how long.

"Let them go sledding, my love," Ben attempted to placate his husband, pulling him over for a kiss of their own. "We have last minute shopping to do."

"You're right, you're right," the Genius Eternal sighed against his husband's shoulder. They had a few last things to pick out for Jack, a few items Ben insisted he wanted to get for Gil and Thena (despite Phastos' insistence that they neither needed nor deserved them).

And Jack specifically had requested to get something for Aunt Thena all by himself. Which they would let him do, but they were going to go today to scope out exactly what to steer him towards given the time and budget they had.

"Fine, just behave like adults," Phastos snapped his finger and pointed at the couple once again canoodling. Thena glared at him, in the middle of using his scarf to pull Gil towards her again. It was Gil's scarf, now. "Human adults, please."

"Yes, sir," Gil gave him a mocking salute, which only increased Phastos' dread. They brought Jack over to the teachers supervising the event, just until he was finally free to join them again.

"Hm?" Thena tilted her head at Gil as he rubbed her back idly.

"It's cute," he shrugged, watching their brother and his family from afar, "all their little traditions."

"Isn't it?" she sighed, leaning against his shoulder as if they were curled up in front of a fire, and not sitting in uncomfortable, state-funded plastic chairs. "Jack seems happy."

Gil rubbed her arm. Her utter adoration of their nephew continued to make his heart throb in his chest. "Do you want any presents?"

"Presents?"

"Yeah," Gil grinned as she looked at him with those big green eyes. "All this talk of them has me thinking about it, I guess."

But Thena happily snuggled right up to him, even loosening the scarf around his neck enough for her to poke her head in with his. He eagerly pulled her right into his lap in return. "You're the only gift I need."

"Aw," he cooed, making her laugh in his arms, "being around humans makes you so sappy."

"You don't think it's being married to you for hundreds of years?"

"It can be both."

[lionblaze03-2]

Yknow guys. I have my moments but honestly I’m really glad to be alive and get to experience this beautiful world... like the birds outside my window or my beloved beast bella (there is an animal!!! In my house!!! And she LOVES me!!!) and getting to see my best friend and watching tv and movies together and engaging with media and taking long car rides. Life is so beautiful and I’m so glad I never forget it too long. Every little thing that makes you feel joy is a reason to be on this earth, so cherish every last one, because you deserve it. You deserve to feel how beautiful the world can be. Even if it sucks dick sometimes. Sometimes everything sucks and then you see a cardinal out the window competing with another for a female and everything’s okay again. Theres joy in every day, so please go out there and feel it as hard as you can, embrace everything that makes you happy. Live. We deserve it.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

LOL I can totally see Claude being embarrassed about Rodrigue's "dad behaviour" but I think he would also love to hear all the childhood anecdotes Rodi has to tell about the Faerghus Four, probably embarrassing Dimi and mortifying Felix, haha. And yes, Rodrigue would be good with Sylvain. I think he could also make Matthias realize that their sons really love each other and even though Sylvain cannot pass on his Crest this way, that it will be ok in their new future (I mean, they could still

[2] adopt kids. Honestly, Sylvain would be a cool dad. And I imagine Felix would be more openly soft with his kids than his usual snarling wildcat persona he pulls off when he likes to pretend he doesn't care xD. Dimitri would be such a good father, too. We already know from canon that he loves kids, like teaching the orphans, AM ending mural and this monk who tells Byleth he saw Dimi caring for an orphan even in his boar phase. Claude would be great, too and I see him being naturally good

[3] with kids on the surface but also a bit of insecure inside bc of his own childhood. His own parents aren't exactly good role models *cough* and though he seems not always aware of the impact their upbringing had on him, I think he would want to do better with his own children. And Rodrigue would tell the kids adventurous bedtime stories. Tbh I could even see any kid Sylvix may adopt melting "the wall of ice". Rodrigue and Matthias as great grandpa duo is a headcanon I didn't know I need lol

Oops sorry for the long ask. I got a bit carried away with my "kids/grandchildren" headcanon lol

YEAH like since Claude doesn’t know much affection from a parental figure I feel like he’d be a bit shy about it at first, but he’d also want to hear the stories about Dimi and what the group did as kids. Felix would absolutely be mortified, he’d be doing anything in his power to stop Rodrigue from continuing but Dimi and Sylvain would hold him back because if they have to suffer, Felix does too. 😤

Tbh I like the idea of Sylvain opening up to Rodrigue about his feelings about his own father and how he’d like to be closer to him but Matthias just isn’t really “hanging out with” material. Rodrigue is much more emotional and more readily available for heart to hearts, but Matthias won’t have even that much with his own kid(s). Might even be a good way to get Rodrigue to talk to Matthias about trying a bit harder since they could die at any time from something like even a Sreng invasion. Also, it might be good for Rodrigue too since he always wants to talk to Felix but Felix isn’t interested and always acts angry about literally nothing. I think he’d be happy to have someone rely on him for advice besides Dimitri who he already considers a son.

In Hopes Dimitri also mentions the power of Crest bloodlines is getting weaker anyway and they have to prepare for that. That’s in his support with Sylvain too if I’m not mistaken. It’d be interesting if Sylvain adopted a kid instead of having his own (since I imagine nobility/royalty would be pressured to have blood children bc of their bloodlines, even if they weren’t with someone they could have children with). It’d be like preparing for that by raising a child to be ready in the same way any Gautier would be, but without the bloodline or relic’s power to help.

Felix would be a good parent imo because you can tell he’s not really that aggressive with people outside of his best friends. Felix has this weird attitude where he’s nicer/more considerate with others than with his best friends, where he doesn’t hold back or play the nice guy when he has something to say. He’s nice to them when he has no reason to be angry/aggravated, like how he personally goes to Sylvain in their B support specifically to apologize, but he gets aggravated again when Sylvain says something stupid.

Specifically, his childhood friends each have reasons he’s more snappy with them (Sylvain saying dumb shit and acting like nothing matters to him including his own life, Dimitri being so violent toward enemies but being kind and polite otherwise and Felix doesn’t understand that and is somewhat afraid of him bc of that, and Ingrid is too deep into knighthood in a way that goes completely against Felix’s beliefs on knighthood and hates the extremities Ingrid takes it to).

So, like, I think he’d actually be a really good and gentle father generally, but probably be more strict just because of things like not wanting his kid to grow up to be like Ingrid, to make the mistakes Dimitri made or to be as whimsical and careless as Sylvain. Tbh I think Felix would be one of the most devastated parents ever if he lost a child. Obviously most people would be like that if they lost a kid, but I think Felix would take it a lot harder than even the expected norm.

Claude and Dimi would be amazing parents imo! Dimi is already very good with kids but I think they’d find him fun and be amazed by him. I think Claude would be the more awkward one since he grew up so isolated and didn’t have a group of friends growing up like Dimi did, so I think his understanding of how to behave in a way that a child would enjoy would need a crutch to lean on, like watching Dimi interact with them and learning from that. Since he also grew up basically being emotionally stunted and not having experience from his own life to go off of, I feel like he’d need the experience through watching others first. After that I think he’d be more confident about it and be able to handle kids better. He’d definitely be an overprotective dad when the kid was really young though imo just out of experience and instinct. I feel like Claude would be the stricter parent, not on purpose but because his mind would just always be like “YOUR KID IS ADOPTED BY TWO MEN AND ON TOP OF THAT YOU’RE BOTH ROYALS WHICH MAKES FOR A HIGH BOUNTY AND LOTS OF PPL ALREADY HATE YOU SO OFC THEY’D HATE YOUR KID TOO AND YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO TRUSTING WITH STRANGERS LEST SOMEONE KIDNAPS YOUR KID ETC ETC YOU GET IT CLAUDE”. Claude would be “be home by eight PM” parent and Dimi would be the “be home by eight PM if you’re not with a friend/have to get home by yourself, but be home by ten PM if you’re with a friend or people you trust”.

I also love this one idea/headcanon of mine that Mercedes teaches Dimi how to sew/knit and Dimi teaches Claude. I’d think Claude would know the basics of it, but since Dimi would know it beyond just basics from Mercedes’ help then I’d think he’d know more than Claude after working with her. I love the idea that Dimi and Claude would handmake lots of stuff for the orphans, so I bet they would do that for their own kid(s) too. I feel like they’d love handmaking things for their kids since they’d feel more special than things they bought!

ALSO I love the idea of Claude asking Rodrigue for advice on how to handle his kid(s) bc like sure Dimi is good with kids, but Rodrigue has had children and is a grown adult, so he’s not still learning how to raise his own kids like Dimi would be. Maybe him asking for advice would be how Rodrigue gets into telling all these stories to the kids (Dmcl and Sylvix kids both!), and Claude listens too sometimes to learn from Rodrigue!

OKAY BUT LISTEN, Sylvain bringing his first kid (adopted or not) to Matthias and Matthias actually crying about Sylvain being a dad and seeing how much of a good dad Sylvain became even despite Matthias himself not being much of a father to Sylvain... He’d be so happy to see that even though he wasn’t much of a father, Sylvain still became a great dad and he’d realize he didn’t ruin things for Sylvain’s parenthood and be so grateful. I can see him telling Rodrigue about that and being so proud of Sylvain and Rodrigue just being SO HAPPY to see Matthias being emotional because it’d been such a long, long time since he was. Maybe he’d even hug Sylvain and thank him for bringing back the old Matthias he used to know by being a good father.

No worries on getting carried away! I love hearing other people’s Dmcl/Sylvix headcanons and family headcanons! If you ever just wanna drop some in my ask box just to let them out or talk headcanons, feel free. I don’t mind how long they are! If you’re having fun talking about them then that’s good and I’m happy you’re having fun! :)

[realbacchus]

My favorite type of family members are just those random friends who get claimed by someone and then stick around long enough to be considered children, siblings, aunts/uncles, grandparents....

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[zouiam]

I miss when it was just us ot5 directioners celebrating Louis - and Liam being their for him. Now all of these ugly on the inside people on social media just want to make fun of Liam’s looks. It makes me sick. Especially after he’s talked about struggling with his weight and stuff. They wouldn’t be going this hard if it weren’t Liam.

there are so many people on social media kicking Liam while he’s down. twitter especially. he’s said he’s struggling, would sure be nice if people let him be.

[jeffysatur]

bday today! konnecthai jeffy eunwoo billkin 29 30!! i dont wanna go home!!!!!!

[whereimnotme]

Photo taken during climate action protest in Canberra, January 2020, featuring another of ScoMo’s tone deaf quotes - ‘thankfully we’ve had no loss of life’ - from that ill-fated small town PR tour.

"Yes, two, that's quite right. I was thinking about firefighters really," said Morrison, before expressing his "sincere condolences" for the 27 lives lost during the ongoing disaster.

Officially, 33 people were ultimately killed directly by fires that summer with another estimated 445 people dying from smoke inhalation.

Meanwhile the PM fucked off to Hawaii on holiday.

I am still incandescent with rage.

I just spent some time scrolling through this blog and am suffering from sever laughter. Thanks so much for collating the countries craziest moments. One of my favourites is when Scott Morrison was in Hawaii while the bushfires where burning.

December 2019: As Australia's east coast is engulfed in the worst bushfires in living memory, rumours begin to circulate that Australia's Prime Minister Scott Morrison may have secretly fucked off for a holiday in Hawaii.

Keep in mind, this is what is going down in Australia at the time:

The Hawaii rumour is initially written off as a fringe conspiracy, because surely nobody could be that fuckin tonedeaf, and it was quickly forgotten about... until an Australian man visiting Hawaii UPLOADED A SELFIE ON THE BEACH WITH THE PM THROWING A SHAKA.

At which point all hell broke loose.

Overnight the formerly popular "Scomo" became the most despised man in all of Australia. Think "firefighters shouting out of their windows to news cameras" level of despised.

After about two days of radio silence and pretending like he was still at home running the country, the Prime Minister's handlers finally dragged him onto call with an Australian radio station, where he pinky promised to return to Australia as fast as he could in an attempt to calm things down.

Unfortunately Scott's empathy consultant (a real job) then had to watch Scott pour more gasoline on the dumpster fire by uttering the now famous phrase "Look I don't hold a hose mate" when asked by the radio interviewer why the fucking fuck the fuckhead wasn't fucking in Australia doing his fucking job during a massive fucking crisis.

Testing just how much worse things could get, Scomo then proceeded to NOT rush back to Australia as promised, instead attempting to complete the rest of his holiday, a fact that was exposed when a passerby snapped a picture of him still lounging on the beach two days later.

Eventually, holiday complete, Morrison did reluctantly slink back to Australia, and in an attempt to calm things down, he decided to pay a visit to a small town that had been destroyed by the fires.

Which was a big mistake.

Scomo still had not registered how absolutely and totally he had screwed the poodle with his Hawaiian beach vacation, and he walks into what is now taught in PR classes as one of the greatest examples of "what not do do in a crisis" in all of history.

Scotty from Marketing, as he is now dubbed by the nation, spends a painfully cringe-inducing hour wandering around a burned down town with TV news cameras in tow, having to FORCE PEOPLE TO SHAKE HIS HAND in what is some of the most awkward footage you will ever see.

At this point it's probably also worth mentioning that, before becoming Prime Minister, Scott Morrison's biggest claim to fame in politics was being the guy that was so far up the coal lobby's arse that he literally brought coal into parliament and waved it around, claiming it doesn't hurt people.

So when a protest was organised it turned out to be one big national fuck you to the Prime Minister, the likes of which the world has never seen before or since.

Needless to say, at this point Scomo's career was dead in the water, but thanks to the rules brought in to stop Australian political parties from knifing their leader every two weeks (a popular Aussie passtime) Morrison basically couldn't get fired until after the next election.

And so, when the election rolled around in 2022, we decided that was an opportune time to travel over to Hawaii to erect this bad boy tribute to the Prime Minister, on the very beach where Scomo had sat and drank margaritas that one fateful week in December as Australia burned (thanks to @chaser for funding the ticket)