#my brother (a poor student) in Brisbane told us he was living off dry cornflakes and carrots because it was all he had left
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Photo taken during climate action protest in Canberra, January 2020, featuring another of ScoMo’s tone deaf quotes - ‘thankfully we’ve had no loss of life’ - from that ill-fated small town PR tour.
"Yes, two, that's quite right. I was thinking about firefighters really," said Morrison, before expressing his "sincere condolences" for the 27 lives lost during the ongoing disaster.
Officially, 33 people were ultimately killed directly by fires that summer with another estimated 445 people dying from smoke inhalation.
Meanwhile the PM fucked off to Hawaii on holiday.
I am still incandescent with rage.
I just spent some time scrolling through this blog and am suffering from sever laughter. Thanks so much for collating the countries craziest moments. One of my favourites is when Scott Morrison was in Hawaii while the bushfires where burning.
December 2019: As Australia's east coast is engulfed in the worst bushfires in living memory, rumours begin to circulate that Australia's Prime Minister Scott Morrison may have secretly fucked off for a holiday in Hawaii.
Keep in mind, this is what is going down in Australia at the time:
The Hawaii rumour is initially written off as a fringe conspiracy, because surely nobody could be that fuckin tonedeaf, and it was quickly forgotten about... until an Australian man visiting Hawaii UPLOADED A SELFIE ON THE BEACH WITH THE PM THROWING A SHAKA.
At which point all hell broke loose.
Overnight the formerly popular "Scomo" became the most despised man in all of Australia. Think "firefighters shouting out of their windows to news cameras" level of despised.
After about two days of radio silence and pretending like he was still at home running the country, the Prime Minister's handlers finally dragged him onto call with an Australian radio station, where he pinky promised to return to Australia as fast as he could in an attempt to calm things down.
Unfortunately Scott's empathy consultant (a real job) then had to watch Scott pour more gasoline on the dumpster fire by uttering the now famous phrase "Look I don't hold a hose mate" when asked by the radio interviewer why the fucking fuck the fuckhead wasn't fucking in Australia doing his fucking job during a massive fucking crisis.
Testing just how much worse things could get, Scomo then proceeded to NOT rush back to Australia as promised, instead attempting to complete the rest of his holiday, a fact that was exposed when a passerby snapped a picture of him still lounging on the beach two days later.
Eventually, holiday complete, Morrison did reluctantly slink back to Australia, and in an attempt to calm things down, he decided to pay a visit to a small town that had been destroyed by the fires.
Which was a big mistake.
Scomo still had not registered how absolutely and totally he had screwed the poodle with his Hawaiian beach vacation, and he walks into what is now taught in PR classes as one of the greatest examples of "what not do do in a crisis" in all of history.
Scotty from Marketing, as he is now dubbed by the nation, spends a painfully cringe-inducing hour wandering around a burned down town with TV news cameras in tow, having to FORCE PEOPLE TO SHAKE HIS HAND in what is some of the most awkward footage you will ever see.
At this point it's probably also worth mentioning that, before becoming Prime Minister, Scott Morrison's biggest claim to fame in politics was being the guy that was so far up the coal lobby's arse that he literally brought coal into parliament and waved it around, claiming it doesn't hurt people.
So when a protest was organised it turned out to be one big national fuck you to the Prime Minister, the likes of which the world has never seen before or since.
Needless to say, at this point Scomo's career was dead in the water, but thanks to the rules brought in to stop Australian political parties from knifing their leader every two weeks (a popular Aussie passtime) Morrison basically couldn't get fired until after the next election.
And so, when the election rolled around in 2022, we decided that was an opportune time to travel over to Hawaii to erect this bad boy tribute to the Prime Minister, on the very beach where Scomo had sat and drank margaritas that one fateful week in December as Australia burned (thanks to @chaser for funding the ticket)
#I hope he fucking chokes#I feel like the rest of the world didn’t and still doesn’t really understand what we meant by ‘australia burned’#like literally 2/3 of the country was on fire#I cannot articulate or overstate the scale and just how devastating these fires were#I lived through the 2003 Canberra bushfires (when 70% of the ACT burned to the ground)#and my understanding of bushfires has been shaped by that event since I was eight years old#Back then I had closeup view of the flames encircling our home from all directions as burning leaves fell from a midday sky dark with smoke#and mobs of kangaroos fled the flames down our suburban street in droves#standing on our deck with my mum watching flames creep into the valley before of us while simultaneously racing down the hill behind us#and asking her if we were going to die while my sister's ill-timed 13th birthday party was ensconced inside#all glued to the emergency broadcast radio. Trapped in our home as their own families were evacuated without them#every one of those 13yr old birthday party guests' families were ordered to evacuate that night.#that is one experience of one bushfire that lasted 5 days 20 years ago—#and in the 2019-20 Black Summer bushfires I am telling you that 2/3 OF THE COUNTRY WAS ON FIRE FOR MONTHS.#that is millions of people going through that same terror and horror#supply chains were broken up and down the east coast.#for foreigners: the East Coast has the highest population density in the country#there was barely any food on the north-nsw/south-qld coast for weeks. What was there was extremely expensive#my brother (a poor student) in Brisbane told us he was living off dry cornflakes and carrots because it was all he had left#petrol couldn’t be transported safely to the effected regions (because... highly flammable liquid) even when the roads weren't on fire#so when people were told to evacuate. to get out because it wasn’t safe.#that they would lose their homes and livelihoods and if they didn’t get the fuck out of there right then they might also lose their lives#— and then there was no petrol to fuel their cars.#There was no way out without carrying what few belonging they could in their arms and literally running#and that’s not including fuel for generators when the powerlines burned down.#Hospitals given priority to fuel but still with rolling brownouts#Last bastions of community huddled together in evacuation centres in the dark without power#sometimes without running water when the pumps/pumping stations lost power#admist THIS crisis Scott Morrison - Prime Minister of the fucking country - decided to take a holiday to Hawaii#because he ‘didn’t hold a hose mate’
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