#but i haven't been to the mall since like november

[yourknightinshiningplastic]

well I guess we're not to the mall tomorrow anymore.

[kirby-the-gorb]

[mikareo]

“ ࣭⸰ ★ post of gratitude ! <3

⊹ ⠀⠀ hi guys! on my old blog, i'd make a post every november to spread gratitude for the mutuals i interact w most n wanted to carry that tradition onto this blog! ily all and hope that your day was wonderful today (unless ur a nanami stan bc that was rlly rough im so sorry abt that ep ajskl)

psa; if u weren't tagged in this post, pls know that i appreciate u very much and would love to interact w u more!! msg me anytime n i'll try my best to visit ur inbox in the near future!

꒰ . . to my readers ꒱

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ thank u so much for supporting my work by reading, liking, sharing, or commenting on any of my writing! i love reading through reblogs and seeing what u guys think of my ideas,, it's so motivating n i appreciate it so much like omg sometimes u got my kickin my feet reading thru ur comments ajskl i hope to post quality content for ur enjoyment n i luv u all,, much more to come as time goes on !!!

꒰ . . to my mutuals ꒱ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᯇ in alphabetical order

⌗ @chigirizzz ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi val! just wanted to say that i love how supportive u are of other creators on the site,, i feel like whenever i see u on the dash ur always hyping someone up or making their day brighter! ALSO i cant believe u also know the voltage otome games bc i feel like i'm crazy sometimes bc no one know what they are LMFAO i hope u had an amazing day !!!

⌗ @doobea ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ dooby!!! i love the bright energy u bring to my dash n i think ur absolutely gorgeous (u ate that choso costume up omg ajskdlf) ur always such a pleasure to interact w n i think ur writing is amazing,, i rlly need to just binge it all one night ESP the choso fics u post bc ur writing rlly captures how much u love him LOL my fav choso worshipper <3 hope yall get married!

⌗ @hesthermay ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi pookie teehee,, i haven't answered ur text yet bc i was trying to figure out how to fry chicken (3 of them were raw ajsklf) but i will after i post this lol. ilyvm and i can't wait for u to stay w me,, i'm gonna take u to the mall n treat u to some canes chicken fingers *heart eyes* (i'm typing on my laptop forgive me) you've been w me since my org blog from sept 2020 n i act can't believe how long we've known each other now (3 years!) ur so old like ur my granny but that's ok bc ur my favorite granny ever,, sorry for violating u #ageism is not okay,, i miss u so much n i miss ur bf bc ur my mom n dad (legally) i even miss ur roommate who i actually can't rlly remember the name of but that's not the point i'm trying to make so forget i said that part,, i definitely know his name!!! also i decided that kingsley is my favorite dog u have bc he's tiny n reminds me of my doggie,, luv ya! text u in a bit!

⌗ @itadorey ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ omg hi inez, remember these? no u probably don't bc i got rlly lazy w my blog in the late days (rip aitarose) i love all of the tiktoks u send me n i love ur instagram stories bc they make me laugh n i love how much u love snoopy,, he's literally my idol n there are so many statues of him in my city it's so funny n they always make me think of u. ur my yung gravy queen,, i love u so much n i'm so glad hq tumblr let me meet u even tho it was lowkey traumatizing (yikes) our mudae days were so fun,, esp the night i let that person put the roleplay bot into my server jkals so grateful for u !!!

⌗ @kitorin ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hiiii souta!!!! i just wanted to say that i LOVE seeing u comment first on my writing posts,, like it motivates me so much bc i know i have such a large support system coming from u n ur so sweet n talented AJSJJJ u were (i think?) my first new mutual on this blog when i first made it,, n you've made coming back to tumblr such a welcoming n amazing experience! i'm so grateful to be ur mutual n i hope you've had an absolutely amazing day!

⌗ @mymegumi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ firstly BITCH ANSWER MY TEXT. secondly, happy thanksgiving! <3 wish we were spending it together but distance is real n it hates us :( miss u and can't wait to see u whenever that is lmfao like whenever plane tickets decide to stop being so expensive,, so glad we aren't beefing anymore haha that was so silly of us... anyways... whenever i do see u, i'm going to give u a big hug n then we're going to gossip abt everything that's happened since we were last together n it's going to be great bc i'm going to make u watch twice videos n ur gonna love them as much as i do bc i'm ur sister n u have no choice but to love what i love! hahaha... i love you so much n i'm so glad ur my sister #meimei n jiajia 4ever <- that's actually approved by me n that's all that matters bc i'm actually the president of the world and ur my favorite person on it jaklsdf ANSWER MY TEXT BITCH

⌗ @pokkomi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ chiu u r genuinely one of the most positive ppl i've ever met on tumblr n i love u sm for it like jaskdlfjdkl u always make my day when u reblog a post n reading ur tags is so heartwarming n it makes me want to write a million more pieces just to see what u think of them,, ur theme is absolutely adorable n i love ur alpha wolf pfp bc it's so funny n i was literally giggling when u were answering asks abt it n i saw them on my dash,, i hope that every day is an amazing day for u n if u ever need anything u can come in my pms to chat or my inbox (i will def be saying hi later in urs LOL) have an amazing amazing day n i can't wait for u to post any kind of writing in the future!

⌗ @rewh0re ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi hana!!! i'm so glad u popped into my inbox n said hi bc i always saw u interacting w ppl on the dash n i was too nervous to say hi jakfsdlkl i love interacting w u n talking abt whatever n whenever in inboxes or replies,, ur username always makes me giggle n i love it so much (i always read it as 'reo whore' for some reason asjfdkl but i love it) i send ur kuroo fics to my kuroo stan friend n she eats them up,, ur writing style is so beautiful n emotional,, i love the way u structure ur plots w metaphors n repetition n symbolism n everything u put into ur hard work it's all so amazing,, wishing u the very best day tmr ever!

⌗ @wishmemel ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAFI!!!! ik i alr said it but it never hurts to hear a million times n more! i associate u sm w sanrio like idk if mymelo is ur favorite but in my head u r the real life her ajsfkl,, ur so sweet n genuine i love interacting w u n seeing u all over my dash,, I HOPE UR BIRTHDAY WAS AMAZING !!!! ... fixing this bc im screaming bc i can't believe i mixed that up omg... anyways... LUV U

⌗ @yoisami ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ OKAY FIRST i literally LOVE ur theme like it's so cute n so fitting to ur personality i love it sm ajsfkdl saki ur so sweet n i'm so glad we're mutuals bc i always look forwards to seeing u on my dash or going to ur inbox (which i'm lacking on rn but i promise i'll visit it more soon jaskdl!!!!) the way u support ff writing on tumblr is so amazing w ur reblogs n tags,, n i look foward to reading more of ur writing in the future (hopefully i can live up to ur sweet tags!) !!! have an amazing amazing day saki !!!!!!

⌗ @y2kuromi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ screaming bc i got ur bday mixed up w another mutual but HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN LMFAO !!!! i hope that ur day was so amazing n that i'm not getting this wrong again (SORRY SAFI) !!! mimi ur so nice i'm like giggling so hard rn im so sorry,, happy happy birthday hope it was amazing!

⌗ all of my other loves <3 ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ i love being mutuals w all of u n being a part of such a supportive writing community! ur all so talented n ur blogs r beautiful, i hope ur day was absolutely amazing n that we can interact more in the future (i will be invading ur inboxes that's a promise ajfskdl) !!!! happy november!!!

[discluded]

I was wondering if you'd have any opinions on why MileApo haven't done any fan-meetings yet (just purely them in a hall/arena with fans only doing a qna, playing games etc.)? I know we've seen them do promotional lives, the world tour, they did the FanStar event in Vietnam, ManSuang promo, Dior etc. But I would have hoped they would've done one by now. I might be projecting since I follow a lot of kpop etc. but I was thinking about it and wondered why, could a duo fan-meet not be worth planning?

Hi! they actually did do a fan meet last year.

It was in November and in collaboration with a Line Friends promotional event.

if you remember these outfits.

I can't find the announcement press release, which was in Thai anyway, but it was at Central Pattana mall (what I tagged it as) and called Embracing Happiness 2023 (what @nattaphum tagged it as) if you want to look through our tags for it. It should turn up quickly with a search.

This fan meet didn't require tickets and the turnout was genuinely huge... so I'm guessing you mean something else? I looked up some variations on what a fan meet vs. fan sign vs. concert is for kpop just to try to get an idea of the nuance you're looking for I'm missing... if you're talking ticketed event where they play games and take audience questions, the Woody interview was fairly close to that. Mile had a fan sign to make up for missing the KPWT send off (it's tagged under mile send off on my blog) but those were from random raffle winners and not available through buying tickets. The Planet of Stars event in Vietnam had more of the concert element and I think they were supposed to interact more with fans who bought certain levels of tickets but that was, um, kind of a mess.

maybe you can clarify what specifically you qualify as a fan meet? I'll answer based on what I'm thinking right now anyway:

1) financially, I think doing events with sponsors makes more sense for them. it's not as intimate for fans, but it does allow more people to attend events, which is better for sponsors. additionally opening it up to a larger audience avoids the element of fan scalping / reselling tickets at absurd prices for fan meets (which was an issue with some of the man suang showings with actors in attendance).

2) for foreign fan meets, the logistics are challenging and BOC isn't really sized to scale to handle that.. for various reasons. working with a third party to coordinate is risky: see Planet of Friends concert and the JeffGameplay fanmeet in France that didn't include Jeff in the end, and the sponsors made off without even hosting the meet.

3) The air is poisonous right now. there's already been instances of fan photos or fan engagement where the person invited up was openly nasty to Mile or Apo (see: Woody interview when Apo invited up a greeny rose, or a recent fan photo event where an apc was openly hostile to Mile). why open the door to more of that?

I mean, look at Bible's fan meet today... I really sympathize for him right now. He doesn't deserve this for his first fan meet and no one deserves to be treated like an accessory to someone else's career. (I'm not posting it but check @blramblingx2's blog. they posted it because I sent it their way...)

but we'll see! I wouldn't mind seeing a large scale fan meet like embracing happiness again. that was fun... for me... mile and apo were going through it in those 3 layers of sweaters and jackets 😂

[matryosika]

Winter life update; it got somewhat better.

Femme talks about productivity, college, work and writing.

Hi, it's been a while!

I am sure no one actually reads these kind of posts, but since I really love my blog, I want to keep it updated with the most recent events in my personal space.

I'll begin saying that college classes ended around the last week of November for me. Even so, my profesional practices will continue until December 21st., meaning Wednesday this week.

I was happy with the idea of being able to write christmas themed drabbles for the rest of december, but another situation happened: I actually got a job!

I feel like I've talked about how difficult it is to find a decent job where I live, and when I say difficult I mean it —even people with bachelor's degree have a hard time finding jobs or gigs, and most of them end up working on stuff that it isn't related to their academic studies. And if they do happen to find a position related to their career, most of the time it isn't paid well.

Being a college student with no degree and no connections for a greater job whatsoever, the gigs I aspired to were mostly call centers, restaurants, and mall stores. They are good, but for some reason I just couldn't get myself to apply to any of them because of mental health issues.

I wasn't actively looking for a job this time, yet the opportunity came to me and I took it. For now, I only intend to work for the rest of december, but I am really excited because I finally overcame one of the things that I feared the most these times: a new environment, with new duties and responsibilities.

I've been a week in this job and I can tell you that it is extremely tiring, even so I have enjoyed it a lot. I also got my first payment ever on saturday, and I was very proud of myself haha.

With all this being said, I just want to tell everyone that I love to write and writing is my hobby. I will fight hard to keep a balance and keep on writing, I haven't found the time yet, but I love, love, love this hobby and I love all my friends and this blog. I still have a shit ton to write, and a bunch of ideas to portray, so I will be around for more time.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for being around. ❤️

[hotarutranslations]

Like Next June~

Evening

📺️ Tonight 12:00AM~

KOKORO wo Sarakedase!

Morning Musume '20 Emergency Meeting (Unpublished Edition)

A nostalgic project from when the 15th generation were still rather young

Somehow the unpublished edition is airing tonight 💥

By all means please watch it!

I was surprised that there wasn't a picture in yesterdays blog

lolololol

I forgot-- 🤣 lol

I wanted you to watch a bit of the funny story,

My brain ended up only being on that,

its funny no matter how many times I remember it......... 🤦‍♀️

Um, as we said,

I really couldn't stop laughing,

Since I didn't feel any shock,

its fine, right (?)

The parents told me sorry...... 😂

Although they were foreigners,

Thats right, they spoke Japanese very well......!

I'm glad that I could give many,

a good laugh in this way 🤣🤍

By all means please watch it many times 🤣🤍

Super Funny But Its NG on TV "Baby"

This one was uploaded before about a panda-san story~

"Yamazaki Mei" = "Panda-san"!?

Last night,

I went to see the BEYOOOOONDS play 😌

The Palace of Beyosailles

Since I go to the Beyo plays,

every time,

This time I absolutely wanted to go~ 😚🎉

With the timing of it yesterday,

I only could see it then otherwise there was no time,

But when I was heading there after work,

I realized I was a bit behind schedule......

(I'm sorry for moving during the performance)

Thats why, the contents, the play,

I can't properly talk about my impressions of it since there are those that haven't seen it but,

😭🙏

Everyone,

in BEYOOOOONDS's singing voices are wonderful,

I could really hear them as one 🍀

Certainly through this BEYOOOOONDS play,

I could feel that the group has grown even more powerful,

thats how it felt with their singing voices,

and I also felt that from the after talk 🍀

Meeting with BEYOOOOONDS,

made me really energetic personally so!

I was just happy to meet everyone like this yesterday

I was also happy with my after talk with Miyo-chan fufu

Saying that,

I'm sad I wasn't able to watch it properly so,

I'll have to find and watch it......

Everyone in Beyo,

I hope you complete all performances safely!

LETS HAVE A MORNING PLAY NEXT YEAR!?

🥺🙏✨

🍓  

2023.1.7 release 6th photobook "Are you Ready me"

Those that preorder before 11/28, 200 people could win a signed book from a lottery  🍀  →Wani Books Special Edition

You can get an alternate cover here  🍀   → Amazon

Randomly selected 4 other cuts  🍀   → e-LineUP!Mall

Live photo benefits differ depending on the site please choose carefully when preordering  🍀   → Click here for preorder benefits on each site

The making is here  🍀  

Morning Musume '23 Ishida Ayumi Photobook "Are you Ready me" CM

Blu-ray&DVD 💿️

November 16th (Wed) Release

Morning Musume '22 CONCERT TOUR ~Never Been Better!~ Morito Chisaki Graduation Special

Chii-chan's Gradcon x JAPAN JAM 2   ⚠️   Discs

December 21st (Wed) Release

Morning Musume '22 CONCERT TOUR ~Never Been Better! Encore~

Summer Encore Tour x Rockin'    ⚠️  2 discs

New single  💿️  

December 21st (Wed)

New single release

"Swing Swing Paradise/Happy birthday to Me!"

Cheki, Sign, Talk Meet

a 4th reception has opened  🐣🍀  

Notice of purchase benefits

The solo visual stickers from 7net are nice, so is the Kaedy solo clearfile from Sony Music Shop  🤩  

Tokyo Sports note Series    

#86 My First Birthday as a Morning Musume  

🗓️  

Morning Musume '23's calendar,

is being sold by Hagoromo-san

Pre-orders are on sale on these sites  🎈  

HMV

Tower Records

7net

Rakuten Goods

Amazon

📺️  

HOUSE 🕺  

10/20 (Thurs) 11:30PM~ #1 First Airs

11/3 (Thurs) 11:30PM~ #2 First Airs

11/17 (Thurs) 11:30PM~ #3 First Airs

JAZZ HIP HOP  🕺  

12/1 (Thurs) 11:30PM~ #4 First Airs

Hello Pro Dance Academy Season 8

goods  🐣  

Hokkaido Daily

Miyagi Daily

🎤  

12/29

COUNTDOWN JAPAN  🔥  

The time table was released 📍  2:45PM at EARTH STAGE

🎤

December 10th (Sat)  

Morning Musume '22 Nippon Budokan Performance  🔥  

→ Holding a live viewing

January 2nd-February 25th

Winter Hello! Project Concert

2023 winter

We’re touring to 7 cities nationwide 

⚠️  Morning starts on January 3rd

see you ayumin <3

https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12774858027.html

[cesium-sheep]

matt hung out with us tonight, just to hang out, and after arin left for work at one point we were talking about the shopping I wanna do after I get home cuz I need a few things and want a few things and also just. haven't been shopping since november except for a grocery trip and like 15 minutes in a daiso. cuz he sells books to used book stores that he gets for free from like estates and stuff, and today he had a bunch of books and he got enough for the new toaster we wanted. so I was going over like the best order in which to go places, which is probably big lots fred meyer target the mall michaels, cuz if we go to michaels last I'll know how much money I have for crafts, and he wants fred meyer on the list cuz he thinks it's better for home goods like the new hamper arin wants. (and he says time efficiency doesn't matter cuz it's fun.) so I was also listing what money I had available, which is the allowance (and commissions) I've been saving up all month, plus my secret $100 for emergencies if I'm not gonna be the one covering emergencies for a while (which he very quickly responded I wouldn't be), plus my regular savings from negotiating for a little bit extra in what I get from arin per month and also the patreon. and like, it is actually safe now for me to spend all that. arin doesn't have a job lined up just yet but she's actively passionate about one and also got her disability paperwork in finally, and we'll've saved up a lot more than we need for the move that we can use to keep helping out with rent and keep my allowance paying out and stuff until one or both of those processes (plus she does already have some disability income she's just hoping to raise her rating). and my disability appeal is still processing, and if something goes wrong at his job (which, apparently it's been a real tight sales year for everyone but him) I can file for advancement due to financial need, and even before that I may be able to file for advancement due to severe illness depending on how new docs shake out. so if I want $600 of clothes and shoes and craft supplies, I would be allowed to do that. (I probably don't. but if I do.)

[some-far-far-away-land]

Current Status

It's been a while since I posted an update.

So 2023 has been off to a good start so far. Crazy that it's already the 2nd week of March. The year is going much better than how things went down at the beginning of last year. As a reminder, a part of our ceiling broke due to water damage in mid-January after a big snowstorm came through, and then a few days later I flooded our apartment which had us living in our bedroom since we didn't have flooring until the first week of April. Glad that's all behind us, though we were $10,000 richer, I would NOT want to go through that again.

This year we plan on taking our first trip since COVID and of course, we are planning on going back to Seoul since we haven't stopped thinking about going back since we last went in Nov. 2019. Since we're both making more money than we did in 2019, we're planning on splurging for the trip so we've started saving from the get-go. When we last went we spent like $5k on flights, accommodations, food, day trips, and activities. This time we're probably looking at $10k-$11k for the 14 days we'll be there.

The plan is to go back in November again, we're thinking Nov. 4th - 19th. We are monitoring plane ticket pricing but we've already made a reservation at this amazing-looking 5-star hotel in Dongdaemun, which is pretty much at the centre of Seoul. We didn't really explore this area the last time we were there. Last time we stayed in a private room at a hostel in Myeongdong for the first 5 days to save us money, and then for the rest of the trip we stayed in an Airbnb in Hongdae which was super fun since the nightlife and shopping there was 10/10.

We mainly stayed in Seoul for our first trip and we are leaning towards staying there again for most of the trip but maybe doing 3 days in Busan before we head home. We'll see where we end up going as we're in the early planning stages. I feel like there is still so much to explore in Seoul but I do feel like we should try and see other parts of Korea too.

On this trip, we will mainly be exploring cafes, eating good food, and checking out luxury shopping. We did a lot of the tourist attractions when we last went so we're being picky about what we plan on doing this time around. We're also going a week earlier compared to our last trip so we're hoping to catch more of the fall foliage when we go. We want to visit Nami Island again, but maybe this time hiring a private car to take us. Definitely want to have a photographer come with us too to take photos. I'm also interested in going to Mt. Seorak and exploring that area for a day. Closer to Incheon Airport we also want to go to Paradise City where they filmed Singles Inferno.

In Seoul, we'll also spend a lot more time exploring Gangnam, Apujeong, and Seongsu. We didn't even go to Starfield COEX Mall last time and we even skipped out on Lotte World. We did buy tickets to go but it was on the last day of our trip and we were exhausted by then. So yea definitely planning on a more jam-packed itinerary and caffeinating myself so we take fewer naps this time around. We will have 2-3 days that will be more relaxed and not filled with activities so we can also enjoy our hotel and have a few days where we can see where the wind takes us. The last time we were there it rained a few times so if we have some buffer days we can potentially move days around if the weather isn't very good.

Either way, I'm really excited to travel again and to go back to Seoul. In the 4 years since our trip, I've definitely tried more Korean food and have upped my spice tolerance. I've also fallen in love with coffee/espresso drinks which is why I'm so excited to cafe hop! Of course, I'll be vlogging and taking lots of luxury content for the gram.

Will do another update on planning when we've bought our tickets. One of our bigger concerns at this time is figuring out where Corgsworth is going to be staying while we're out. I'm thinking with my parents but they are also planning on going on a trip at the end of October and it looks like they're gonna fly back on the 5th of November. My sister might not be joining them so she might be able to watch him but we'll see since my parents told her that they'd pay for half her costs if she wanted to come.

Thats it for now!

[teddy06writes]

People Watching

Requested by outsiders anon: "It's November. Yes. Nearly Christmas. Yes. Can we already hear Mariah Carey bounding towards us chanting her xmas ritual song. Yes. But I've had this idea forever and I've just remembered it. At least I think I haven't requested it. Get this- Dallas but somehow he's a lifeguard. That's the whole idea, if u can do something with that, props to u. And very nice dps writing, top notch 🤯👍 - outsiders anon"

Okay, so, as much as I love the idea of dallas being a life guard, I have no clue how to fit that into a story. Instead I offer you this:

About a million years ago my dad came up with the 'guess their occupation game', where when your bored in public (totally not a real example but lets say, bored of following your sister around the mall), you look at random strangers and come up with a job and stuff for them

Dallas Winston x reader

trigger warnings: some swearing

premise: you and Dallas get bored waiting for the rest of the gang, so you play a few rounds of the guess their occupation game

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Jesus Christ, how long are we gonna have to it here?" Dallas asked.

You sighed, "We've been waiting for less than five minutes Dal. And we're early. It's gonna be a bit."

He groaned, leaning back against the bench, "Why did you want to come so early?"

"You forget that I had 'to be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, and to be late is to be dead' drilled into my head since childhood," You sighed, "Besides, I like people watching."

"People watching?" He asked.

You nodded, gesturing with your chin to where a woman in a bright red shirt was sitting, a pack of smokes clutched in her hand, "Okay. She's got a dead end job as a waitress, and a few weeks ago this real nice guy walked into her diner, and she fell in love. But, he's from out of town. He promised he'd come back and marry her before he left the next today. He said to meet him here, but he's not coming."

"What the fuck are you on about?"

You rolled your eyes, "Guess the occupation game. Your turn."

"The what?"

"The guess the occupation game. Your supposed to give random people a story. It's your turn, go." You half explained, looking around the park.

He sighed, "Why?"

"Because it'll kill time. Dude in the tracksuit whos about to run past."

Dallas watched the man run past the benches, "He's....... a bookie, down at the tracks, and he steals half of all the gambling money he's in charge of."

"Yes! That was good! Okay ummm. The teenager in the blue hat, by the pond. Most people think he's just in high school, and he is, but he runs an underground fight club in the gym after school."

"Lady in the yellow jacket. She's a housewife, twice widowed but just remarried," Dallas said, nodding to one of the other benches, "She came here to plot how to kill her third husband."

"Ooo, that's good. Uhhh, the idiots walking toward us. Big tall dude in the middle is a single mom." You chuckled at your own joke, pointing to where Darry and the rest of the gang were crossing the street.

[corisanna]

for @catboy-von-seckendorff Domestic Witches AU

Oktavia leaves the apartment in human form for the first time since she became a witch

~~~~~~~~~~

Oktavia sat at the table with everyone and fidgeted anxiously as they tried to convince her to leave Mami's apartment.

"It's been six months since you got to do something normal out in the world," Kyoko said. "You've finally stabilized your shifting. You're not trapped in here anymore."

"It'll be fun!" Yuma insisted.

Oktavia stared at the table. Though she had yearned to do human things earlier on, she had tried to smother that yearning. At this point, the apartment had become her safe place. The thought of leaving it made her uneasy.

Playing human, though... doing things she thought forever lost to her... breaking out of her small world....

"Why don't you start with just one day?" Madoka suggested.

Homura nodded. "Commit to just one day to see how it feels."

Oktavia bit her lip. "Madoka said my picture was on the news when I went missing. People will recognize me. What then?"

"That was six months ago," Kyoko said with a dismissive wave. "People forget."

"Not everyone. And people who knew me would recognize me."

Mami looked up in thought then said, "What if we go to another city?"

"Ooh, good idea!" Madoka said.

"Asunaro or Kazamino could work," Homura said. "Or farther."

"That's a long way to go by rooftop," Oktavia countered.

"So we take the train," Kyoko said with a shrug.

"Being recognized between here and the train or on the train!" Oktavia said heatedly.

"It's cold out, so covering yourself would look normal," Homura said.

"I have a beanie at home," Madoka offered. "You can hide your hair with it."

"I have a scarf you can hide the lower part of your face with," Mami volunteered.

"You're also taller than people would remember you and your hair grew out some," Kyoko said. "That'll help."

The temptation rose. Oktavia hesitantly said, "Maybe...."

"Please, Oktavia," Mami asked plaintively. "You got taller and the clothes we got online are okay but finding a better fit by trying things on at stores should help."

"We haven't gone to the mall in forever," Madoka said. "We always loved it. You deserve to have some fun."

"You can't stay holed up in here forever," Kyoko declared authoritatively.

"It's not healthy," Homura said.

Nagisa scowled and spoke up for the first time. "You're being a coward, Oktavia."

Madoka frowned hard. "Don't be so mean."

Nagisa shrugged. "It's true."

"She has good reasons to be anxious," Madoka insisted.

Nagisa tilted her head and looked skeptical. "No one has recognized me when I go out."

Kyoko looked like she wanted to argue something but kept her mouth shut.

Oktavia fretted her fingers in her lap and thought. Really, they were all right. She recognized that. Maybe. Maybe.

"O-- okay," she said quietly. "Just one day. In a different town. I'll... I'll try that."

Everyone was various levels of happy and satisfied with her acquiescence.

The next Saturday morning, they all met up at Mami's apartment in winter gear. Oktavia bundled up. She trembled a bit on the way to the station and when they boarded, searching for recognition on faces and worried she'd stand out with her "disguise." But no one gave her more than a glance and she blended right in with the other commuters warding off the early November chill. She relaxed some.

The mall they went to in Asunaro was completely new to her instead of a familiar regular haunt like the mall she had hung out at so much before her rebirth. It was both alien and reassuring. But the sheer number of people in the crowd out shopping on a Saturday was overwhelming. She tried to convince herself that it just meant she'd be visually lost in the crowd more easily, but it was jarring after six months of being around only six familiar people.

"Small things first," Mami declared in leader mode as they looked at the directory. "Clothes will be bulky and heavy to carry."

"Why don't we start with a music store?" Madoka suggested cheerfully. "That's where we always started before."

They all agreed and started to move. Except for Oktavia, who hesitated.

Kyoko noticed and turned back. She frowned then looked sympathetic and held out her hand. "C'mon. I'm with you."

Oktavia slowly took her hand and walked beside her. Holding Kyoko's hand helped. The others noticed but made a point of not making anything of it.

Soon, they were standing at the window of a music store. Oktavia saw rows and rows of CDs and digital download kiosks. There were small screens and headphones at sample stations every ten feet. People milled about the aisles, looking, chatting, or listening.

The sight made Oktavia's chest tighten with some emotion. Nostalgia? Yearning? Fear?

Everyone looked to her to make the first move, but she couldn't. So Kyoko tugged her hand and said, "Let's go in, yeah?"

Oktavia swallowed hard and nodded. Kyoko led her in. Oktavia looked around and felt jumbled emotions getting stronger.

"What do you want to look at first?" Madoka asked.

Oktavia bit her lip, thought, then quietly answered, "Classical."

Madoka and Mami looked around then led the way to the right section as Kyoko stayed by her side. Oktavia started looking at displays and lightly brushed her fingertips along them as she walked. So familiar.

She stopped at a display that interested her. After some looking, she decided to try listening to a couple. She hesitated, then moved to a sampling station. She picked up the headphones one-handed and--

So eager to try the new arrangement of "Pictures at an Exhibition"! And the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra recording of "Proserpina" that was always so hard to find! She only had enough money for one album so she had to be super picky at the listening sta--

Oktavia inhaled sharply. What?

"I think you need to take off your hat to get the headphones over your ears," Madoka suggested carefully.

Oktavia froze a moment before putting the headphones back on their hook. She stared at them, then brushed her fingers along the side of the hat and looked around cautiously. What if--?

"It will be fine," Homura said calmly.

Oktavia took a deep breath and tugged the hat off her head, letting her hair fall and exposing the upper third of her face. She glanced around until Kyoko tugged her hand, squeezed, and let go.

"Pick those things up and listen to your music," she ordered.

Oktavia obeyed. It was somehow easier to do on an order. Maybe because she was so uncertain about making her own decisions about what to do on this kinda overwhelming adventure? She put on the headphones, hesitated, then started tapping the screen.

Music filled her ears, filled her head. It washed over her. Nostalgia took her breath away. She had loved doing this as Sayaka. Now she still loved this as Oktavia. It was confusing. It was like the split she wanted to protect herself wasn't complete. She had known that to some degree from maintaining the relationships to the others that she had before turning despite some changes, but for some reason this was hitting harder. Like she had broken back into Sayaka's world from Oktavia's world.

Oktavia didn't realize she was crying until Madoka laid a hand on her shoulder and looked at her in concern. She was so confused. It felt sad but good at the same time. She felt grief and relieved joy for her old life at the same time.

If this entire outing was going to make her feel like this....

"I don't know if I can do this," she said in a wobbly voice.

Madoka gently hugged her from the side. "One thing at a time," she said loudly enough to be heard over her music.

"One thing at a time," Oktavia mumbled, then tapped the screen to listen to something else.

She tentatively chose a classical album. Madoka encouraged her to go to the pop section; an artist she used to like had a new album out. Okay. She managed listening and picked it out. They were moving toward the counter to pay when something caught her eye: sections that Sayaka had always avoided.

Oktavia was curious. She loved music. Sometimes it felt like she loved it even more than Sayaka had. Maybe she'd find something new for "Oktavia."

So she detoured over to various kinds of metal, something Sayaka had scorned as not really worth being called singing. Madoka looked confused by her interest, having known Sayaka's opinions, but followed and stood by her as she put on the sampling headphones.

The samples she heard were... jagged. Harsh. Intense.

Interesting.

Oktavia seemed to have a more discerning ear now. She could pick out nuance of the rough vocals-- and yes, it was singing, contrary to what Sayaka had thought. And those drums and guitars! The skill required for the effect! So she bounced around samples and chose an album. She wanted to study it.

Out of curiosity, she moved to rap. Sayaka hadn't hated it but had thought much of it talking or shouting instead of singing. But no; it was singing. Oktavia picked another album to study.

She found herself holding four wildly different albums. Each excited her. But--

"Four is a lot," Oktavia said regretfully. "I should put some back."

"Absolutely not," Mami said firmly as she took out her wallet. "The entire point of this is to treat you. If you want them, they're yours."

Mami paid and they left the store. Oktavia stood outside and fiddled with the bag of CDs. She felt good. The same and different. So strange.

"What do you want to do now?" Homura asked.

Oktavia wavered. "I-- I dunno."

"Let's get a snack," Kyoko decided for her.

"Of course you want food," Oktavia grumbled good-naturedly.

Kyoko shrugged. "Food's good. What do you want?"

Oktavia looked around. They weren't near the food court, but there were stands here and there. One of them caught her eye. "Um... maybe the pretzels?"

Everyone agreed and hustled her over there. There were several flavors and dipping sauces. Which did she want?

"Let's each get a different flavor and share!" Hitomi suggested cheerfully.

Oktavia swallowed and felt strange as Madoka made the same suggestion now.

She stood back as the others got a variety. Kyoko had to take her hand to lead her to the table. She sat and stared at all the choices. It was like deja vu.

"You need to take the scarf off to eat," Homura said with an undercurrent of command in her voice.

Oktavia moved, paused, and glanced around. Then she carefully unwound the scarf and let it drape over her shoulders. Her whole face was uncovered now. She looked at passing shoppers. Most walked by but some absentmindedly glanced her way. She felt very... seen. Exposed. Her chest tightened.

"Try the cinnamon ones with the caramel sauce," Madoka said brightly as she shoved the basket of mini pretzels her way.

Oktavia got through the snacktime okay and even enjoyed it. It was still odd, but it was okay.

Next, Kyoko dragged them to the arcade. She half-bullied Oktavia into participating in many games, taunting her into competitions. It distracted her from her worries well and made her more able to function while wandering the mall.

They stopped at other stores then started hitting up clothing stores. That was an exercise in frustration. Finding clothes both big enough and long enough for her new height was a nightmare. She ended up with two pairs of one style of pants and three shirts. It felt like it took forever. But it was familiar.

"Ughhhh, everything's right at the hips but wrong at the waist!" Oktavia complained now as Sayaka had complained in the past.

Deja vu. It kept happening.

Madoka suggested the food court. Oktavia sat down with her friends and looked at the burger before her as they chattered around her. She had thought this forever lost to her. She had thought everything that she had done that day was forever lost to her. The loss had made her inner Sayaka despair. But here she was, living the past in the present.

Deja vu again. And she still couldn't tell if it was good or bad. She strongly leaned toward good. But that was "Sayaka". She thought "Sayaka" was mostly sleeping now. But she had woken up like a stubborn ghost haunting her.

"Sayaka" had long been a source of despair to Oktavia. But here she was, suddenly a source of good feelings instead of despair and loss. Now her inner Sayaka was so happy. Pining relieved, comfort in old habit, despair broken for at least a day. Like sunlight sparkling on ocean waves from within.

It was like she was innocent little Sayaka again, like her life is simple and she is idealistic and the worst things she has to fear are physics tests, confessing to Kyosuke, and her parents' displeasure. Like she doesn't know despair and murderous rage. Like she belongs in the world despite feeling like she doesn't.

But the feelings were also different. She had a different angle of rising happiness as "Oktavia". It kind of dazed her. She felt more strongly that she was Oktavia-Sayaka again. A duality. She didn't know how she felt about that. It was uncomfortable being haunted by the ghost of her old life. But she was confusingly happy.

Oktavia decided that thinking about this inner struggle of a balancing act was too hard and focused on suppressing her fears of recognition and crowds to relax and enjoy things as "Oktavia." She had made a lot of progress. She decided to try another outing. She had to learn to live as "Oktavia." Even if it was confusing.

[miracles-totally-come-true]

When I Will Be Gone (1/2)

Trigger Warning: Suicide

Pairing: Logince

Summary: Logan loves Roman with all of his heart. Logan can see that Roman wants to do more with his life. Logan can also see that his own life just isn’t working. Logan thinks he can fix both of their problems.

Roman only wants to spend his life with his boyfriend. He’s perfectly fine with giving up on his dreams if it means waking up every day to see Logan’s face.

Roman wishes he had said that sooner.

Ao3 link: (Tumblr isn’t letting me link it in a neat and simple way, so you get a large oversized link to the fic)

This was meant to be read as a oneshot, but since Tumbr doesn’t like me for some reason, here’s the second part

A quick note:

When anything is written in italics, this means that the text is part of Logan's recording. The recording takes place a few hours earlier than the story's present day.

—————————

By the time you are listening to this, I will be gone. Not dead, most likely, but gone.

January 18th, six years prior to the recording

Sunlight dancing through the trees, the scent of roses in the air. Logan and Roman sat on a checkered picnic blanket, hand in hand.

Roman, I love you more than the world, but I think we both know that I was always bound to fail as your boyfriend.

March 15th, six years prior to the recording

The last scene in the movie had come to a close, just as Logan finally stirred in his sleep, slowly waking up. Roman glanced down at his boyfriend, who was leaning on his shoulder, before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

I that thought I was helping you to achieve your dreams, but I now see that all I was doing was holding you back. I wish I had seen sooner.

November 3rd, six years prior to the recording

Roman quietly opened his boyfriend's bedroom door. He draped a blanket over the shoulders of the figure passed out at the desk and placed the cupcake he had carried in beside the mountain of paperwork.

"Happy birthday, my love," Roman whispered.

Roman, you are the most incredible human being I have ever met.

December 1st, six years prior to the recording

A smile fluttered across Roman's lips as Logan brushed a strand of hair out of his boyfriend's eyes.

The way your eyes light up when you smile fills me with a kind of joy that I did not think I had the ability to possess.

January 18th, five years prior

Roman grinned and leaned into Logan's arms

"Happy anniversary! I love you so, so much,"

The blush that dances across your cheeks when out eyes meet is nothing less than adorable.

January 31st, five years prior

They stared into each other's eyes. Moonlight just barely lit up the room. Roman hoped that it was too dark for Logan to notice how red Roman's face must be.

Watching you spin around the room laughing when your favourite Disney songs come on always ends with my cheeks hurting from smiling.

February 14th, five years prior

Logan's quiet laughter filled the air as his boyfriend pulled him up from the couch.

"C'mon specs," Roman pulled him closer. "Let's dance."

Listening to you talk about the things that you're passionate about always melts my heart. I love you so much.

March 21st, five years prior

"I GOT THE GIG!" Roman had applied for a job preforming stories for children at the local theatre. "Let's have a drink to celebrate!"

Logan looked at him in confused amusement as Roman grabbed a bottle opener. "....babe thats a bottle of soda, not exactly the kind of drink one would use to celebrate with."

And it's because of how much I care, that I must leave. I can see that you're hiding your emotions behind your smiles.

May 30th, five years prior

Roman wiped a tear off his cheek as he put on a fake smile. He stared at the figure in the mirror. Roman loved Logan more than he could even imagine. His boyfriend was the best thing to ever happen to him. It didn't matter that Roman had lost every job he had tried to keep. It would be okay.

You clearly want more than anything to follow your dreams but you don't. Why?

June 12th, five years prior

Roman pressed his lips to his boyfriend's knuckles. "I'd travel to the moon and back if it meant simply seeing your face."

So many hours were spent with me laying on my bedroom floor, trying to figure out why you refused to go out into the world and pursue a better life. Then it hit me. I am the problem.

Present day, Roman's perspective

Roman's jaw dropped and his heart fell as he listened to the recording that he had found in his and Logan's apartment. It had been addressed to him, and he had found it sitting beside a single blood red rose, and a golden locket containing a photo of him and Logan. It hadn't been long before Roman had put two and two together and figured out that there was something else going on here. This sounded bad.

As long as I stay by your side, you'll stay stuck in an unfulfilling life.

July 2nd, five years prior

They lay in a meadow, side by side, fingers entwined.

"I love you Logan,"

"I love you too,"

Please don't be sad.

August 15th, five years prior

Logan wiped away the tear rolling down Roman's cheek.

I would have told you all this in person, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to bare seeing your pain. I knew that I'd back out the second we stood face to face.

Present day, Roman's perspective

Roman picked up the rose. He ignored the thorns that pricked his skin.

"Logan, why, why why why," he could feel more tears forming.

I love you so much, Roman. I never would have gotten this far in life without you, but as they always say mall good stories must come to an end.

December 26th, five years prior

Roman closed the storybook, a smile on his face. He plucked the glasses off his sleeping boyfriend's face and set them on the nightstand.

I've hit the metaphorical dead end.

January 30th, four years prior

Roman glanced at Logan, who was sitting in the passenger seat,

"I-I think we're lost,"

"Now you admit it?" Logan raised an eyebrow. "Here, let me drive for a bit."

My family disowned me for my sexuality.

February 13th, four years prior

Roman's heart dropped as he saw the mess of tears streaming down the typically calm man's face. "You told them?"

"...I did."

I was fired from my job at the lab, simply because I argued that the animals being used as test subjects were not being treated fairly.

January 1st, four weeks prior

"They're fools for firing someone as intelligent as you,"

"No, they're right to do this. I tried to think with my heart instead of my head for once, and made the mistake of bringing emotions into a workplace,"

"Well either way, they just lost their best scientist,"

All of my friends left eventually because of how many walls I put up.

December 2nd, two months prior

"Did Virgil call?" Roman frowned when he saw the sad look on Logan's face.

"Yes, yes he did. I'd rather not talk about it though. How about we make dinner?"

My own cautiousness and inability to be overly emotional have been my own undoing. You are the last good thing left in my life.

March 14th, four years prior

"Logan, you are absolutely not just an emotionless robot! You're the sweetest guy I know. Don't you dare let any assholes tell you otherwise!"

I may not believe in soulmates, but I truly think that we are as close as it gets.

June 8th, four years prior

"Aw, you don't think that we're soulmates?" Roman said with a pout in his face. "Why not?"

"I simply said that I don't believe in such things," Logan pressed a quick kiss to Roman's forehead. "Now get sleep, we both have work to do tomorrow."

My story has come to an end, but yours is just beginning.

August 17th, four years prior

Roman gazed lovingly at the stacks of books lining the shelves that surrounded the place where Roman and Logan sat.

I know that I don't have the emotional capacity to be able to make an accurate estimation as to how long it will take for you to be able to get over this, but for both of our sakes, I do hope it will be quick.

October 6th, four years prior

Roman sighed. His boyfriend had obviously stayed up all night working again. When he peeked at the pile of notes on Logan's desk, his face lit up. From the looks of it, Logan had started teaching a course at a local college, which had always been something he had wanted to do.

I can tell that you're hiding sadness underneath all the smiles, you don't hide it very well.

December 31st, four years prior

Smiles. Grins. Laughter. Joy. Roman's entire life was based around joy. He couldn't just go tell Logan that he was sad about losing another job, that would ruin his whole facade. No, he would have to just get another job as quickly as possible.

I haven't seen enough of your genuine smiles lately.

January 14th, three years prior

Roman was so happy for the first time in what felt like ages. Logan had finally agreed to get a pet! Granted, it was a goldfish, because Logan claimed that neither of them had the time to take care of a puppy, but a pet nonetheless!

He named it Roman Jr.

You clearly want to do something more with your life, but you don't.

February 14th, three years prior

"Vegas would be a nice place to live one day, or LA. Ooh maybe London,"

"What, life isn't enough for you?"

"Never,"

And since I've heard you joke about me being the tether keeping you from being a star, it wasn't hard to realize that the only logical explanation is that I'm the one keeping you stuck in this small town where it is impossible for you to follow your dreams.

Present day, Roman's perspective

"I never meant it. They were nothing more than jokes. I would do anything to keep the small life we share," yet more tears rolled down Roman's face as he spoke to the empty room.

I say that you are the only thing left in this world for me, but if you can't be happy with the life we have, then I have truly failed.

April 7th, three years prior

They lay on a Roman's bed, a Disney movie playing on his laptop, long forgotten. Roman snuggled closer, savouring the moment.

The only way I can think of to fix this, is to completely disappear.

July 25th, three years prior

They sat under a cherry blossom tree, watching the petals fall around them.

"This is magical," Roman's voice was barely a whisper.

"There's noting out of the ordinary about the situation, except for the fact that the petals are dropping later in the year than they usually would," Roman merely grinned.

You're the only one who could possibly miss me, so I have three requests for you.

Next part

[lousimusician]

Oblivious Part 2

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: You start to realize that you maybe have new feelings for Peter

----

Days had passed since you found out Peter liked you. Seeing him after was awkward, neither of you really knew what to say. And you may have been blaming yourself for why it was that awkaward. 

Because as fate would have it. 

You had a problem.

A big problem.

Since that night 7 days ago, you couldn't get Peter off your mind. It was like a switch had been flipped and you were suddenly noticing him. Like really noticing him. Like the way he blushed when he did something mildly embarrassing. How humble he was in every sense of the word, he was a genius and he knew it, but not once had he ever looked down on someone for not knowing something. The way his eyes lit up when someone talked about old movies. And then you noticed how attractive he actually was. He had a cute face, you've always thought that, and you knew he was strong. But now you were beginning to find yourself becoming increasingly attracted to him (MJ had even found you checking him out on more than one occasion). So you couldn't help but make things feel increasingly awkward around him. You were starting to figure out your own feelings towards the boy and then reality hit.

"Holy shit." You hissed, once Ned and Peter got up to get lunch, leaving you and MJ.

"What?"

"Tonight's my date with Jason."

MJ raised an eyebrow, "And you forgot?"

"Yes! Oh my god." You continued to panic.

MJ shut her book, "Okay, let me get this straight. You forgot you had a date with Jason, when he's all you've been talking about for months now, after Peter tells you he likes you."

You narrowed your eyes, "I feel like this is a trap." 

"F/N."

"Alright! Fine, I don't really know what I feel anymore. I've completely forgot Jason even exsisted because all I can think about it Peter, and I don't know what to do anymore."

"...I don't know what you want me to say. This sounds like something you need to figure out on your own."

"Ugh, thanks for nothing." You muttered. "...Okay, this is what I'll do. I'll go on the date and then I'll just break it off tomorrow."

"So, you're still gonna go out with him?"

"Yeah, he-"

Peter and Ned had come back and sat down across from you and MJ. Peter had a frown on his face, and you instantly knew he overheard part of your conversation. The rest of the lunch period was uncomfortable. Peter hadn't really said anything, MJ almost never speaks anyway, so the period consisted of you and Ned trying to make things less awkward. But thankfully the period eventually ended and you all went to your respective classes.

~~

You sighed as you threw your backpack into a corner of your apartment. School had been exhausting to say the least. It's funny how just last week you felt like you were on the top of the world. The boy you had been crushing on had asked you out, but now you felt like a dumb teenager trying to sort out her feelings for her best friend.

And now you had to get ready for your date.

You and Jason had agreed to go to the mall. Where you'd probably just grab dinner and shop around together. You weren't as excited as you were a week ago so you decided you'd just change into just casual clothing. What was the point of looking your best when you were just going to dump him the next day. You felt bad, of course you did. Jason liked you but now you had Peter consuming your thoughts 24/7 and it was getting really tiring. You weren't sure if you wanted to be in a relationship with him, but you wouldn't say no to dating a little. Coming to that conclusion was tough because picturing yourself actually being romantically involved with him was very different, he'd always just been your dorky best friend. But the longer you thought about, you started to like the idea more and more. You just needed an extra push. You walked into your living room and fell on your couch, and let out an exasperated sigh into a pillow. Your mom, who you didn't even notice, sat in a chair with her laptop on her lap and started laughing.

"What's got you all worked up (N/N)?" Your mom asked.

"Life." Came your muffled reply.

"I thought you had a date with that boy tonight, why are you upset?" 

You usually told your mom everything, but you couldn't bring yourself to talk about Peter, it just felt weird to get all your thoughts out in the open about the topic. "It's hard to explain."

"Try me."

"I don't wanna say."

"It'll make you feel better, plus who am I gonna tell?"

"Ughh fine." You sat up on the couch. "It's about.... It's about Peter."

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"N-no, he- he kinda told me he likes me."

Your moms eyes widened, "When did this happen?" Your mom had been you and Peter's biggest shipper. You never quite understood it.

"Last Friday."

"And you didn't tell me!?"

"No cause I knew you were gonna be weird about it and I had to think about it."

"What did you tell him."

"I told him I wasn't interested, but I dunno anymore..."

Your mother raised her eyebrow, "You don't know?"

"N-no. I mean yes he's cute, and yes he's nice, and we're both nerds and we get along so well together but..."

"But?" Your mom urged.

"He's my best friend!" You exclaimed, frustratedly. "I grew up with him and what if we do go out and we break up, then I would've lost my best friend. And we've been friends for so long and I don't know how I'd even go about starting a relationship with hi-."

"(F/N)." Your mother cut you off, "Your problem sounds similar to a problem I had in high school."

You looked at her confused, "You liked your best friend."

Yes."

"What'd you do?"

"I married him." A look of realization crossed your features as you waited for your mom to continue. "Falling in love with your best friend is a weird experience. I didn't know if it'd work out at first either, but once we got past the awkward stage it was so easy. We already knew everything about each other and we just understood each other so well. So, if you like Peter and he likes you, try it out. And I've seen you two together since you were 5, I don't think there's any way for the two of you not to be friends, even if it doesn't work out."

"So you think I should give him a chance."

"Of course, he's a good kid. So go cancel your date, because I haven't heard you say a single word about him all week so i doubt he was that important to begin with, and go talk to Peter."

"Okay.. thanks." You mumbled.

Your mom smiled in return and went back to work on her laptop as you walked to your bedroom. You pulled out your phone and texted Jason, and after about 30 minutes of trying to think of the nicest way of letting him down you came up with.

'I'm so sorry, but Im not sure if we should go out. Something came up.'

After about 5 minutes your phone vibrated.

'Is it Peter?'

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and typed back.

'Yeah'

'Then I understand, good luck.'

Okay, you definitely weren't expecting that, but whatever, you'd take it.

You then decided to text Peter.

'Can we talk tonight?'

A reply came seconds later.

'Sure, but don't you have a date?'

'I'll explain everything later, just come to my apartment at 7. My mom and dad will be out.'

'Alright'

Your heart was racing as you typed the messages. It was only 5 now so you had 2 hours before he would show up. You decided to figure out what you'd tell him, you rehearsed it in your head over and over, and before you knew it there was a knock at your front door.

You swung the door open, revealing a nervous Peter.

"Hey," you greeted and opened the door wider to let him in.

He nodded his head slightly at your greeting and headed to your living room. You shut the door and followed after him. "Soo, what did you want to talk about." Peter asked nervously as he sat down on your couch. You pulled a chair over so you were sitting across from him.

"I wanted to talk about what happened last Friday."

He sighed, "Listen (F/N), I get it that you don't feel the same, I don't know if I can handle being rejected twice."

"No it's- it's not that Pete."

Peter furrowed his eyebrows, "Then what is it."

"I've been thinking a lot, and I've come to realize that I'm not completely opposed to dating you." 

Peter stiffened and his eyes widened, before he relaxed and said sadly, "Seriously, it's okay, don't force yourself to like me if you don't, neither of us want that."

"No!" You exclaimed, "I'm not kidding Peter, you're the only person I can think about right now. You've been consuming my thoughts 24/7 and I'm freaking out!"

Peter chuckled a little, "Now you know how I've felt for 6 months."

"See! And you say things like that, and i don't know what to do. I like you, I'm really sure I do but I'm just so confused and I don't know how to deal with these feelings, because we've been friends for so long."

"Well what do you want?"

"I want to give us a chance, but I'm scared."

"Would it help if I told you how I feel about you?"

"Yes, please I need help."

"Okay, well." Peter grabbed your hands and held it in his. You looked at Peter with a blush on both your faces. "I p-panicked at first too. It happened after Liz left, and all through October and November was when my crush on you really started to grow. I started to notice every little thing about you, the way you stuck the tip of your tongue out when you were concentrating or like when you would bite your thumb nail when you were nervous. I started to admire e-everything about you. You're determined and your strong a-and I could easily list off a ton of things but it'd take too long."Peter chuckled before continuing, "I knew that it was more than a crush one night in December. We were having a movie night, and we were watching Harry Potter because you got tired of watching Star Wars and you were so insistent that we watch Harry Potter, I realized I couldn't say no to you and the way you smiled when I gave in just made my heart race." Peter smiled ear to ear at the memory.

You stared at him with puppy dog eyes, realizing more and more that you did want a relationship with the boy in front of you.

"And later that night." He said looking down at both your hands together before continuing. "It had to be about 1 am, Ned and MJ were passed out, and I had woken up from the TV, and I just found you curled up in my side, fighting off how tired you were trying to stay awake to watch Harry Potter, and I don't know, I just felt so weak for you. It was so simple but you felt so warm and you looked so cute, I realized that I wanted you more than just a friend and it felt so right. And then Monday came along and that was when-"

"Jason." You breathed out.

"Yeah, Jason had just moved here. And I remember the way you looked at him, you were like caught in a trance. And I knew I was screwed cause that was the same way I looked at you. I was so confused after, cause I thought that you maybe liked me back, but you didn't, so I tried to get over you but it just got worse, and I know we're young and don't really know what love is but I feel like I'm in love with you." 

Peter looked up but was met with your soft lips on his. Peter widened his eyes in excitement before letting them close shut. You were now standing up, leaning over him with one hand on his jaw and the other behind his neck. His hands went up to rest on your waist. The kiss quickly became deeper and a little rougher. He pulled you down so that you were laying on the couch and he was now above you. The kiss was passionate as both your lips fought for dominance, but unfortunately it didn't last long.

The door to your apartment was opened as both your parents walked in, you both pulled away quickly and were on opposite sides of the couch.

'Oh shit'

"Well I'm glad to see you two worked things out." Your mom said with a laugh looking at your disheveled forms.

Your dad looked a mixture between pissed but also very slightly relieved (probably because he trusted Peter). "I'm gonna go pretend I never saw that. Peter I like you but if I catch you with my daughter like that again you better run."

Peter gulped, "Y-yes sir."

"Um- I'll walk him out." You said quickly and pulled him along with you.

You stood outside your apartment door, and looked at Peter with a bright smile and hugged him. Peter wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly. "By the way I take it back." You said, "You are the sweetest and handsomest guy I've ever met."

Peter smiled back down at you and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

[jade-bright]

I've been in love with this one dude for 3 years, but when I was thinking about how many years I've loved him I thought it was 5.

The start was definitely something.

One of my best friends at the time also had a crush on him, ik this because she told me the day after I showered and thought 'I wouldn't mind him being my first kiss.' So I kinda backed off, I didn't say that I also liked him, I didn't say that I had talked to him the day before she would rant to me about him. And God was I sooooo annoyed when this dude texted me saying that she told him she liked him, and he was asking me what he should do. Not because she confessed first, no, I backed off, I didn't care if she got the guy, I was annoyed that when I asked him several times if he liked her or would want to date her or something, he was so unsure and didn't give a definite answer. Then I was further annoyed when she called me to tell me how she finally confessed, meanwhile I was still basically arguing with him. Idk what was said when they met up (which I didn't know until she told me a day or two after), but they didn't end up dating.

He had also just broken up with this other girl, who, I don't genuinely mean it when I call people this but she was a fucking bitch. Further proof being later in the year, this girl ended up dating my crush's friend.

And I always feel shitty when I say this, but he wasn't physically attractive. Even now that he's had a bit of a glow up, I feel like one of the reasons I like him isn't his looks. (But I did have the unfortunate luck to figure out that he looks so fucking good in flannel). It's cheesy and cliche, but he fucking cares. Before we ever dated, I got sick and he was the only when to text me and ask why I wasn't at school, like not even my friends had asked. My best friend who also had a crush on him texted me, but it was just to see what I wrote for the worksheet we were doing. More recently I had a like a breakdown or panic attack and once he noticed I had been out of the room for too long without ever coming back in, he went to check up on me and when he saw me vulnerable, on the floor, looking like I had just been crying, he just sat right across from me and was overall patient with my explanation that I didn't owe him and waiting for when I was ready to get up.

However the situation I'm currently in sucks because we have dated and broke up a TOTAL of 3 times. In our last break up (over the phone btw), he said he wasn't ready for a relationship, but then 2 months later I'm telling him how he hurt me really bad and that I still love him and other shit. But I asked for time to think if I wanted to get back together, especially since I had a trip out the country later in the week. So I come back to the states and like a month later I'm telling him that I don't think I can like people in a romantic way, but then come back to school and I'm realizing that I just can't like anyone else because I'm still in love with him and can't imagine being in a serious relationship with someone who isn't him. And so half way through the month, I call him and I tell him so and also that he can have all the time he wants since it's only fair. But since then to now, we're gone to the mall with a mutual friend and I held his hand, went to hoco held his hand and slow danced with him and ended up accidentally taking his hoodie with me and having it for the whole weekend. All of this and he didn't stop me, and we haven't acknowledged or talked about shit. The closest thing to acknowledgement was when I'd first go to hold his hand, he'd look down to see what I was doing then just hold my hand in return. Like wtf!?!?!

When I mentioned the unacknowledgement to my two friends who I've been telling all this shit to, they've both told me that we should really talk about. And I've told them, I will, after November 3rd, because from the day I called and told him I still love him to that day was the same time it took me to finally say how I (thought) I felt at the time.

I am to a degree prepared for rejection or acceptance. If he says no to a relationship, I feel like I'm gonna need him to tell me he doesn't like me in that sense anymore because I might be able to move on right way if he doesn't tell me that. And if he says yes to a relationship, then I stop worrying, i stop overthinking as much as i used too. I'm emotionally and mentally better than I was last year, and I'm worried about it but I can actually kinda see myself marrying him.