#but i guess it would be nice to have some.... support? validation?

[origamistarsandco]

Alright this one's probably best for the tags.

[traumasurvivors]

hello, do you have resources on recognizing whether or not you're in an abusive/toxic friendship?

I don't, but here's some red flag thoughts I had.

If you try and talk about something they've done that upset you/bothered you, and they turn around and make you feel bad. This might be done by them going "oh, I'm such a terrible person. You shouldn't be friends with me."

They only talk to you or initiate contact if they want something from you.

They "jokingly" say mean things about you.

They compare you to other people. It might be things like "oh, well, so-and-so would do this for me."

They make you feel guilty for having boundaries.

If you're having a bad time, they need to be having a worse time. Nothing can be about you, and the attention always has to be drawn back to them.

They make you feel bad about your interests. "Oh, damn, I guess not everyone has good taste in music.

Constant negativity. They are constantly "raining" on your parade if you're happy about something. Example: You are super happy because you had a great time with your dad. You rave to them about this, and their response is "wow, it must be nice. My dad and I have a terrible relationship." While their feelings are valid, it's really inappropriate if they feel a constant need to bring you down whenever you're happy.

You can't rely on them for support. While it's valid for people to have limits and not be able to provide support all the time because of their own mental health, it isn't okay if a relationship is one-sided and you offer support and they never do.

When you have arguments, they got for "low blows" rather than trying to resolve the conflict. This might mean they scream at you, or throw insults at you, or throw past mistakes in your face.

No one is perfect, and it's understandable that people slip up sometimes and make mistakes. Lash out even. But they should hold themselves accountable for these mistakes, and not make you feel bad for being upset. They also shouldn't laugh off or be dismissive of their own behaviour.

Being passive aggressive.

They pressure you into doing things you don't want to do.

A lot of this falls under manipulation, and I wrote an article about it here.

I want to bring up that nuance is really important. For example: my best friend and I regularly "roast" each other and genuinely find it amusing. But there are certain topics that are off limits, and we'd never do this if it genuinely upset the other.

Obviously, again nuance is important. Sometimes these bad feelings come up for our own reasons and aren't necessarily the other person's fault, but here are some thoughts I had on things you might be feeling if a friendship isn't right for you.

You feel relieved if plans are cancelled.

You feel a feeling of dread when you see a message from them.

You are anxious to tell them things like really good news because they might make you feel bad about it. Or even really bad news, because they might try and compete with you.

You are anxious to tell them if they cross a boundary or upset you.

You withhold telling them the real truth about things. You might be worried they can't be trusted with the information, or that they might use it against you.

You feel trapped or like you have to be their friend.

You feel completely drained by them. Maybe it's hearing their name, seeing their name, or just being around them.

Sorry, I rambled, but hopefully there's something helpful here!

[eir-trixa]

WOTTG SPOILERS AFTER THE CUT

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Can you believe Rick is validating me in my Percy-is-the-most-empathic-character take? I have legal basis but boi does it feel nice to have canon confirmation.

Second that book was short af I got the gist of it all while reading for like an hour.

Third, we addressed everyone else’s trauma. Percy’s still the group therapist LMAO 😭😭😭

Fourth, my son is such a good kid yall, this is why I lose five years of my life when someone insults or when he insults himself jfc my child.

Im honestly still processing and I have to reread the ending. Did it address Percy’s issues? Im going to go with “a bit” and call it a night. I mean, I guess it did? Percy got to unload and help Gale and Hecuba. We got an insight to how he’s managing to stay up and fighting and good despite all the shit he’s put into. Honestly the fact that he saw the humanity in Gale and Hecuba, that he saw their pain and grief and thats what made them trust him, that is so good. And the way he related to them. Goodness. And it highlights again how good a person he is, how much he feels and cares. I mean, he cried cause he had to send Mrs O Leary away, I cant with this kid-

I supposed what Im left unsatisfied with is how he still perceives himself as dumb? Baby, you survived San Fran for two months as a homeless kid without memories and pursued by different monsters who cant die. Youre the furthest thing from dumb.

He cant see this of course and while it was slightly addressed(?) by Annabeth telling him to his face that she doesnt give him enough credit, that he’s pretty smart, I dont think thats enough for addressing this particular issue. There was a time in the middle that he almost snapped because he thought Annabeth probably thinks him too dumb to know what to do next. Which I understand is frustrating to him. But to be fair this book made him look at Annabeth for a solution a lot. Theres also little comments about how when he cant think of anything - which is every 60 seconds apparently according to him- he looks at Annabeth. This doesnt help the co dependent allegations LMAO. Idk, I will die on the Hill that Percy is one of the smartest people in the series, not just emotionally but also in strategy. And theres, of course, nothing wrong with looking at the genius strategist for answers. Ive mixed feelings because definitely this is more of a Percy-insecurity issue than an Annabeth-being-bossy issue. But okay. One more book, heres to hoping we get more heart to heart on that front because Im 999998% sure she doesnt mean to make him feel stupid, Percy’s just got a lot of demons to fight but this in particular they need to figure out together. Still, its obvious how much they care for each other still. If only Dave and Hana did not piss me off at the start Id probably be a little more lenient about this.

Annabeth’s fatal flaw also makes a comeback, we love to see it.

And Sally Estelle Jackson. Now we have to find out wth is Percy’s middle name cause if Sally has one odds are she gave her son too. Trust me. Im Filipino. Iykyk.

Lastly, while I will forever and ever and ever support the trio from pjotv (theyre perfect and have done nothing wrong ever) I can see Rick’s injecting their personalities into the books. Im not sure if he does this on purpose or just subconsciously LMAO. Some of Grover’s dialogue is definitely inspired by Aryan. Percy being Lanky? Walker through and through, especially with his growth spurt lmao, and Annabeth’s confidence? All Leah. I can see what Rick’s trying to do. Ive no opinion on this, just pointing it out. I do love love love the live action. Just. I can see you Rick. You aint slick.

So there. I probably would need to reread the book properly at some point.

[etherealsworldvision]

Singles Love Reading

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about “Care for Gaza” a non-profit charity aid on Twitter (now known as X) who are helping families in need. If you have the funds here are their PayPal and GoFundMe.

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings!

Note : I’m going to give you a heads up…this ended up being a LOVE reading and not a SINGLES reading lol. I guess we are not feeling the romance tonight lol. Okay look — I DID ask for romance stuff and this is what I got so I hope you enjoy it still.

[ general message: saw 222 as I was making the layout so this number might be significant. I believe the numerology meaning is: balance, harmony, spiritual alignment. You can condense it to 6 which would mean: domestic happiness, harmony, and stability. Rain. Autumn/Winter season. Airplanes. 123 ]

Pile 1

[ channeled message: “because I’m tired of being the only one playing by the rules, the world is unfair […] maybe it’s okay if it’s unfair in our favor for once” – Craig from Killing It. ‘Called it love but it was lust’, ‘It wasn’t love like I had hoped’. ‘maybe another time,’ ‘love is a complexity’. ‘If love can fade so can pain’. ‘Let your cup overflow with the love you deserve’.

Additional Confirmation: Seashells. Becoming a Sea Jelly. Prickly. Becoming a Porcupine. Sea and the Earth. Poetry. Disturbance. ]

Cards: 7 of wands (Reverse); Hierophant (Reverse); 9 of Wands. Snail; White Dress; Queen of Hearts; 8 of Hearts.

First thing’s first…this is a complex reading. This is going to be a different type of love reading. I’m sorry if you’re looking for a ‘who is coming in’ but if you still want to stay then please do. This reading does have romantic undertones but it will dives into love.

When I started this reading: I felt like I needed to protect myself — bolt all the doors, close all the windows, triple check the dozens of cameras around the house, and secure myself by hiding under the bed with a blanket wrapped around me.

There’s this profound grief/sadness/yearning/loneliness all meshed together in a box. I think this is your energy because I’m not getting another person. I could be wrong though. But the overall energy feels like the saying “the world/love hasn’t been too kind to you.”

I’m not going to sit here and tell you how to feel. Your feelings are 100% valid because for some reason people probably told you how to feel which made things worse. Honestly all I can give is a virtual hug.

Honestly maybe you’ll find love in this reading [not romantic wise! I meant like a little bit of softness for your day. Idk maybe I’m rambling]. It just feels like you need a blanket and a warm cup of your favorite drink. Some of you might like apple cider with extra cinnamon. Maybe a nice cup of coffee or (ginger) tea with some sugar. Or it’s not physical warmth you’re after but, just this once, inner warmth.

This emptiness you have isn’t something to be taking lightly, that is for sure. It should be held with recognition and upmost delicacy. You aren’t difficult to be loved.

Some of you know this while others may find difficult: you are deserving of love. Some of you are probably groaning and rolling your eyes. I wanted to say it again just in case. I’m also sending you lots of love and support.

You know what, why should I stop there? You’re deserving of people putting effort into you, of understanding, of consistency, of acceptance, of things to be taken at a slower pace. You deserve a love that is supposed to feel like your favorite drink or food. I think, most importantly, you deserve the recognition.

If you can find a healthy outlet please do. I know this reading is probably chaotic but I think it’s supposed to validate how you feel. There was another that came in but it was a bit of blur so I think that’s a sign to leave this reading as is. I’m rooting for you pile 1 and sending many hugs with a lot of love! 💕

Pile 2

[ Channeled Messages: ‘We never realize how frozen we are until someone melts our ice’ ; ‘We know what we are, but not what we may be’ ; ‘Don’t waste a second of your time convincing other people your worth’.

Additional Messages: 111, Broseph (Character from Stoked), Bravery, Strength, Talk, Valentines Day, Take a Break, Focusing on Materialism, Beach Vibes; H2O; Putting in the Work, Babes by Hockey Dad, Safe and Sound by Mr. Floyd Larry, Fire Placements, Sagittarius]

Cards: 9 of Wands; 8 of Cups (Rx); The Chariot. Transformation (Yumiko Kurahashi); The Soul (Emily Dickinson. Jack of Clubs; 8 of Clubs; 7 of Clubs

Pile 2’s, I have to tell you something: I restarted the reading. I reshuffled all the cards and took a ‘day off’ cause my tummy hurts :( and I wanted a break. I don’t know why I had to mention that but…hey, maybe you need a break for the ache?

On with the reading! For those of you who did or are taking a break from love, you’re taking the cool ~ approach. Now this isn’t a mind game approach. I genuinely feel like it’s because you ‘moved on’ from love. You’re just tired of the same ol’ people coming into your life and making you stressed.

I get the feeling you’re taking the ‘Broseph’ (Character from Stoked) approach. If you know him, you know that he’s very chill and laidback. He lets the waves come to him and living life in a relaxing fun way. This could be the way you’re viewing love now.

For some of you I heard “love/dating pool is shit, I’m going to do what I want’, which CONGRATS! You live your life, I’m very proud of you. You may also be taking a funny approach to your love life. I just get the vibe that: ‘love isn’t so serious anymore so might as well make the best of it by taking it lightly’.

Despite these approaches you’re also more selective and will put a boundary up. Again congrats to you! You’re at the point of, again, enjoying your life. I’m also getting a sense you’re putting more emphasis in your friendships. This is going to be a little deep.

For some of you, you may find the love you were missing within yourself through friendships/community. As in, the romantic love you thought would ‘fill’ the hole is not it. It was actually platonic/communal love that you craved. For other’s the love for yourself due to, soul searching’, basically rediscovering yourself.

Overall this is mainly due to people, mostly romantic, not being compatible with you. Like I have a feeling — during the summer time there will be in-depth soul searching. No, it’s not the ‘hippie’ type thing! Unless it could be we never know lol, it’s actually more of transformation of the old you. You’re entering a new part in your life.

Okay this is specific. I don’t know what Valentine’s Day did for you all but for some reason I think their gift to you made you realize ‘yeah…I’m breaking up with you’. Now this isn’t to scare anyone! This is like a 0.1% of you. I just feel like this could be how 0.1% of you will ‘entire’ this transformation.

To recap; despite the way you were treated and the people who were in your life. You’re now rediscovering yourself, your worth, questioning and finding the love you needed. You’re still open to love (in general) but more selective with the people. You’re now or will be letting love find you. Again you’re taking the Broseph approach lol. Have fun and good luck, I’m very proud of my pile 2’s :) 💕.

Pile 3

[ Channeled Messages: ‘If soulmates do exist they’re not found. They are made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and they work on building a relationship’ ; Release your mind, don’t become the hurt that they hurt you’ ; ‘Picture a wave. In the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through. And it's there. And you can see it, you know what it is. It's a wave. And then it crashes in the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while. You know it's one conception of death for Buddhists: the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it's supposed to be.’

Additional Messages: 222, 232, 234, Cat, Curiosity, Watch Your Mouth by The Backseat Lovers; Cold Hands; Burning Candle, Wedding Fantasies, Prayer Beads; Traditions; Selenite; Blue Calcite; Rivers and Roads by the Head and the Hearts; ‘Might Have Been The One Vibe’, The Good Place. ]

Cards: Page of Swords; Empress (Rx); Tower. Ace of Diamonds; 10 of Spades; Ace of Clubs. White Dress; Devotion.

Pile 3, I want to say I’m so sorry for what you went through. There’s a sense of heartache and devastation that recently happened. I heard you might have gotten a call or this sudden new broke your heart. A part of you may felt drawn to pile 1 so if you did then please check that out.

My cat also wants to say hello. She’s actually hanging out with your cards. A message popped up in my head: you are protected. I also want to add that your pile is a long read.

For a lot of you I feel that this is devastating. You may have spent all this time nourishing, putting the effort, and pouring your love into something that wasn’t ’worth it at the end’.

For some, not all, I don’t like to bring this up and be this type of reader…but the news may have been about cheating. As for the others the relationship could have ended because of a huge dealbreaker; like traveling or different values. There could have even been a conversation about money that led to an argument.

Either way, there was a sudden break(up) and now there is grief. I’m not getting so much as to how to help. I think this reading is more about acknowledging your grief and a reminder that you will find like minded people.

Another thing; you may feel anger as well. It’s like a simmered anger. It’s there but simmering…it’s hot yet it constantly murmurs. It feels as if it could be towards everyone. For some it may even be towards the world. But for all it feels as if this anger is directed to yourself.

Okay there’s a big select of you that might have been in a long term relationship. I’ve been tiptoeing around this but it feels like you were so close and then this happened, and now what the fuck, right? Basically the rug was ripped from under you. It just feels like sudden devastation.

I’m not going to feed into your anger and your grief. I am certainly not going to bypass this either by singing Kumbaya and lighting up an incense.

Instead, let’s acknowledge this. You may be feeling angry, scared, all of the grieving symptoms. That is okay! This is going to be hard to hear but grief doesn’t fade. It stays, it lingers, it’s there. The only thing we can do is feel it but do our best to not let grief consume us. We just have to take it day by day in little doses.

This may even be a reminder to pour in that love into yourself. No this isn’t some “self love heals all” type of thing. I believe [the right and healthy] community/friendships can help you out here, but let’s not forget to pour into ourselves too. This can be by creating a safe space for yourself. It could be doing things you always wanted to do. It can be gifting yourself something or simply journaling and crying it out with ice cream.

I also want to say the love you poured into that relationship is no waste. It’s proof that you are worthy of love, that you are capable of love. You are a reminder that the love you pour is out there. You have so much love to give and now it is time to give that love to yourself. It is also a reminder that this love can also be poured into you by your friends and community.

Another reminder, because it seems to be prominent, anger is a reminder of your boundaries. Anger reminds us what we fight for, what we need to feel protected. Anger is a boogieman to society, which can become it if not handled in a healthy way. However, Anger can be justice if you learn to dig deep at the root. This is all I have for you today. I wish you the best 💕

If you liked this reading please like, comment, reblog, and share. And if you want to further support me then tips are appreciated on: Ko-Fi ; PayPal ; Venmo ; Cashapp

[lemonmatronics]

THE POPPY PLAYTIME CHAPTER 3 TRAILER IS SOOO!,?!.?.!.

What a great treat to wake up to—Excuse me while I go insane and spill some thoughts, reactions, theories, and predictions below please

ahem

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SO LIKE FIRST OFF this chapter is gonna fuck, like this looks SO good holy shit

The setting and environment looks amazing but also the new hands mechanic along with the mask ohhhh this is gonna be FUN

Okay rambling about screenshots I took time

First off the environments look great, holy wow

The house itself looks kinda small so idk if that is the orphanage itself or some kind of set. Cause you can see fake sky walls around it, but like this is Playtime Co they would definitely do that to the orphanage also to give an illusion of outside. Either way it looks GREAT and I’m really excited to explore this setting

Just a nice shot of all the critters

I’m really curious if all the critters are gonna be utilized somehow. We know about Catnap and Dogday already, especially after the trailer itself. Though there was also the footage of Bobby running down the hall, looking like a normal plushie, and possibly seeing Hoppy in the trailer too. (I’ll touch on that later)

New Poster

Definitely looks like some company propaganda to try and keep kids from being afraid of CatNap. Judging by the files we got before looks like the results were a mixed bag. Considering the gas is there in the poster it’s definitely a company only poster, not something they could sell outside. They manipulated this kids so bad man :(

A CLEANER LOOK OF THIS THING,,,

THATS A SKELETON COMING OUT OF PUGAPILLAR’S MOUTH…Like that’s just straight up human remains.

I don’t think we’ve ever seen that before in this game. Like blood yeah plenty but BONES? They’re definitely amping things up for this chapter and I’m 100% here for it.

Besides that there’s a ton of plushies and such stabbed onto this weird thing. Is it a shrine? It doesn’t look like it could really move tbh, and if it was meant to be alive those parts aren’t doing anything to help it.

This poor mf

I’ve seen a lot of people speculate this is DogDay, which is a valid guess, but tbh my first thought was Hoppy. You can tell they have long droopy ears, which lines up with both candidates to me. Though I think the ears look a bit slimmer than what Dog Day’d would be, plus the angle on the head looks more like they’re dropping from the top of the head rather than the sides. I feel like if this was DogDay the whole head silhouette would be different because of the ears, which makes me lean towards Hoppy more.

I know her toy gives her long pointed up ears, but going off art and animation her ears can definitely fold

So I don’t think it’s out of the question that as a Bigger Bodies being her ears could fold over like that, especially while stuck like this.

Now I could be the one wrong here but I really think this is Hoppy. Won’t know until the game itself though so, I won’t treat either as divinities yet. It could just as easily be the case everyone else is right and it is DogDay, there’s evidence for that as well (Again, I’ll touch on that later).

So much happened here where do I even start

Obvious out the bat I guess, Kissy Missy is back!! And looks like Poppy isn’t ditching us alone either! Man I cannot tell it Poppy is good or not at this point, gray area? Trailer dialogue definitely sounded like she was supporting us.

“We’re coming! Just hold on!”

It’s really nice seeing Kissy back, really excited to see how she’s gonna help and play into this. I’ve been on the stance that she’s good ever since she helped in chapter 2 so this is really cathartic for me lmao.

As for what Poppy says here I found it interesting, like really interesting. Like, hearing it the first time made me think she casually confirmed something massive interesting. Granted, actually thinking about it longer, it could mean something else entirely. But was that the whole point?

“What’s happening down here is bigger than all of us. I need you. So we can revenge on those monsters who’ve tortured you, who’ve tortured us.”

“Those monsters who’ve tortured you”

Now, once I thought about it this is most likely referring to the literal monsters in the factory. Huggy, Mommy, CatNap, so on and such. But that’s not what my initial assumption was.

When Poppy referred to “monsters”, by first thought was the people working at the factory. I thought she said people at the factory tortured us.

I thought she confirmed that we’re a toy.

Once I thought about it longer, it doesn’t actually confirm that. But what if that’s the entire point? A double meaning line?

Now the player being a toy theory is something that’s been around since chapter 1, a theory I’ve fully stood by since then and still do. I like to think that’s why our character is completely silent, we’re a toy that can’t speak. Mute toys is something we’ve seen plenty of in the factory, more so than toys that actually talk. (Unless you count stuff like the Smiling Critters cartoon or the cardboard cutouts, but I’m talking purely living beings here.)

So while this doesn’t confirm the theory, this line is definitely throwing wood into the fire for me.

DogDay

Wether or not the chained Bigger Body above us DogDay or Hoppy, we have it confirmed here that DogDay is featured heavily in this chapter as an enemy. Again, I really wonder if the other Smiling Critters will show up as threats as well. Maybe a mixed bag of good and bad critters. If the chained up Bigger Body is DogDay, I wonder why he chases us after we assumingely set him free.

One note I’ll give that is to evidence for the chained bigger body being DogDay is that in the thumbnail you can see a shackle on his wrist

His arms are also long and lanky, which is why I won’t completely rule out it possibly being him there. It’s just as possible that it is him, both feel very plausible to me.

Though looking at the game footage, I’m not sure if can can see anything on his wrists. Additionally his arms look much wider than the one in thumbnail.

Additionally, the DogDay in the thumbnail looks so much like a…mascot suit? You can see seams and stitches all over him. Even other Bigger Bodies don’t look like that. Which is something I wanna give its own post to to figure deeper on.

So is this even the same DogDay at all?

It’s not completely out of the question there could be multiple DogDays, though that begs the question, what about other Smiling Critters? What about other toys as a whole?

Here’s my prediction on it. One Bigger Bodies experiment, and then there’s smaller ones approximately the size of their normal toys.

I think the DogDay in the thumbnail is a result of the Bigger Bodies testing, and the one actually chasing us is just a smaller more “normal” DogDay.

But if that’s true then it begs the question, what about other critters? We’ve seen a smaller Bobby before, does she also have a Bigger Bodies version?

Do they all have a Bigger Bodies equivalent?

Is there still a normal CatNap?

Again, all speculation but this chapter especially is really tickling my brain.

And finally we’ve got the man of the hour

Man he is so much lankier than I thought he would be. That definitely explains why his face was so high up on that one cam footage though. Here I was thinking he’d be bulky!

There isn’t too much to say here other than CatNap is definitely gonna be an imposing threat, and I’m very excited to see him in game. So far we’ve mainly seen him through silhouettes, and light peeks at small portions of his design. Seeing him better is game is gonna be a thrill and I’m so ready for it!

Additionally, just for the sake of adding on, we’ve seen these posters apparently from overseas get spread around lately

Both of these definitely look like they’re meant to be company only posters, ones you’d find in the schooling and orphanage areas.

The left poster telling kids to go inside right away when recess is up, nothing super deep here. Just a peek at the schooling that had here, and that these kids had their lives completely contained within the factory.

The second poster is CatNap telling Huggy to go to sleep, another attempt at convincing children CatNap isn’t dangerous. If Huggy is fine they will be too, right?

Anyways that’s my initial thoughts and reactions right after watching the trailer. VERY excited about this game, it’s been awhile since I’ve been able to brainstorm on my own over a game like this so I’m really looking forward to what this chapter has to give.

[sunfl0wersandillusions]

anyway. when is anybody’s guess (i have 4 days off in the next 6 weeks) but. here are three hypothetical kbms fics that i hope to be the guy to bring to fruition. someday

1) thinkin abt this (https://x.com/3sita_yarou/status/1806973032474595766?s=46 idk how to embed links) fanart by 3sita_tarot on twitter. of uncle mithrun holding obrin’s baby. his facial expressions simultaneously so melancholy and reverent here have me thinkin abt like. mithrun’s learning to experience and accept inherent value, beauty, beyond the constraints of elven society’s definitions of such. obrin and his partner’s love for their child and for one another, despite how noble society has shunned him, audaciously pure and genuine. this i think would work really well alongside kabru, his acceptance in stride over time of laios’s unmasked communication and passionate special interest. both mithrun and kabru have baked into them over time this deference to Da Rules of society, whether it’s elven society’s definition of *value* for mithrun, or kabru’s unique upbringing’s definition of interpersonal communicative *validity*. i see here in mithrun’s acceptance of identifying and owning observation of goodness in the everyday mithrun however struggling, but ultimately resolving to just. call it like he sees it and tell kabru how beautiful he is. whenever it comes to mind. and similarly, where i imagine kabru up to a certain point is a major emotional support of mithrun, i see here kabru allowing himself to be emotionally supported by mithrun, identifying and addressing beyond just denying that such needs even exist. kbms learning to embrace the joys of interpersonal connection beyond their temperance by societal convention.

2. little more toxic. but. some of you are aware of how normal i am about the detail of kabru wanting to learn illusion magic (go read my poem about it on my page i guess) and. thinking about cithis teaching him all hush hush the public can’t know about the king’s advisor fraternizing with this foreign criminal etcetc. she’s earnest and an effective teacher bc they have something of a kinship around their shared deep scrutiny and discerning of people, and a kbms truther as the two of them are dancing around the unique brand of intimacy they share at this point in mithrun’s rehabilitation. but she’s also a bit of an instigator, she lives for the drama (a la neoqueenserenity’s take in their fic good and perilous, if you’re reading this i adore your work xx) so she feeds into kabru’s anxious spiraling rumination on mithrun’s potential feelings and lack thereof, and not-so-subtly encourages him to use his newly developed abilities of magically mind control-esque-ly extracting truth from others… on mithrun, to determine the exact nature of his feelings toward kabru. it’s a low point for him, feeling deep regret for invading the privacy of someone with whom he’s worked to build such singular trust simultaneously with understanding his own fraught mental state and why/how it made him feel like he had to. not justified, but explained. but—what kabru learned was that mithrun’s feelings for kabru… are there, and being under kabru’s influence was the first time mithrun had identified those feelings as such. so mithrun comes to kabru, distraught over how to process these newly realized feelings together with the unsettling invasion of his mind that revealed them. for better or for worse, kabru’s actions didn’t outright destroy the feelings mithrun has for him. and the fact endures that nobody sees, believes in, takes care of mithrun like kabru; mithrun’s not just gonna cut him off forever after this. so as kabru works to regain mithrun’s trust and find it in himself to push past anxiety and insecurity to believe the truth of mithrun’s word without magic, mithrun unpacks the relationship between action(kabru’s) and feeling(his own) and identification thereof.

3. i just think it would be nice if part of mithrun’s journey toward reclaiming desire entailed relearning that he himself is still inherently worthy of being desired. like. as his and kabru’s relationship deepens and grows more physically intimate, mithrun and kabru together tackle mithrun’s staunch avoidance of mirrors; after for so long refusing that relic of his past and thus refusing to ever know his own appearance (he’s just been content the last forty years to know that he is “ugly” by elven standards, that’s all there is to it) i think a really constructive intimate exercise for them would be to stand in front of a mirror together, with kabru showing mithrun all the parts of him he finds beautiful, pink wisps of scars across pale skin like brushstrokes, delicate yet precise and strong hands, etc. mithrun becoming reacquainted with his “ruined” body through the eyes of someone who loves it as it is

can’t promise they’ll be full fics anytime soon but lmk if there’s one you’d especially want to read? i guess? talk to me abt these either way tho pls these two are my saving grace when i come home from this job everyday. and i mean every day. i don’t have another day off until october 8th. ❤️❤️‍🔥✨‼️🤭😍🥰

[shipsssssssss]

i'm writing a terusai fic and i think i have to cut this part but i thought it was rlly nice and i wanted to post it somewhere

Saiki Kusuo is many things; quiet, introverted, a psychic powerful enough to be God. Okay, maybe not that many things. In all honestly, Saiki did his absolute best to be as little things as possible, which is hard when he was born with his set of powers. And he was mostly succeeding until the most popular girl in the world, beloved by God Himself, took an interest in him. It’s not like he was trying to be interesting! And despite how hard he tried and the lengths he went through, the girl kept coming back. The most annoying part? The part that makes Saiki want to swim through lava? It’s that he doesn’t mind her company as much as he used to. Good grief, how did this happen?

Here's how it happened:

It starts, as one would guess, with the girl. This girl was born as the perfect baby. So perfect that even the doctor who assisted in her birth couldn’t help but give a ‘wow’. The girl grew up with the love and admiration of the people around her. How could they not? She was beautiful, kind, and charming. Even God loves her! It shows in the way she got everything she ever wanted. But the girl was not stupid. The girl knew she was pretty, she knew she was charming, and she knew she was beloved by all. She also knew that to be perfect, she had to be kind, she had to be simple, she had to be humble. And maybe she grew up less than humble and kind as she pretended to be, but when everyone is constantly gasping in her presence, it’s hard to remain indifferent to her perfection.

Then the girl met the boy. Their meeting was decided upon a whim. The girl simply felt like livening up the boy’s day by talking to him. Except the boy barely cared. In fact, he was more displeased. How could he not be? He was trying to live his life as peaceful and carefree as he could manage, and here comes a girl with her crowd of admirers bringing a bout of trouble that he didn’t want.

While the girl was determined to impress the boy, the boy was more than ready to be her match. Sure, the girl has charisma, her beauty, and the support of the entire human population, but the boy has more than enough powers to dodge her and her ensemble. From teleporting to invisibility, to hypnotizing her into thinking some other person was him, he can do it all.

And yet, for all his godly powers, he can’t seem to rid her of her ‘affections’. The boy knew this wasn’t a real crush, he could read her mind after all! He knew that the girl was simply unused to receiving indifference and was using a crush as a way to validate her arrogance. Which makes it all the more infuriating that this girl would not give up! And beyond that, she’s loved by God! Whatever the girl wants, the girl gets, which makes avoiding her all the more difficult. Because for all of the boy’s abilities, even he couldn’t go against pure, unadulterated luck.

[kianji]

So since BioWare (and possibly other studios) have finally gotten the message that fans will appreciate pansexual characters who can romance anyone no matter gender, race or sex (unless there’s a valid reason in their backstory for them to NOT chose to romance someone) can we eventually see an option for polyamory?

And before anyone brings up the “not EvErYoNe Is PaNsExUaL” argument, I would like to remind you that this post is specifically talking about a group of (very well drawn and animated) piXELS THAT ARE NOT REAL PEOPLE AND THAT I AM IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM IMPLYING THAT IT WORK THAT WAY IN REAL LIFE.

Again.

This is a cluster of PIXELS that someone animated, input a code, and is a completely FICTIONAL WORK that has no real impact against the world outside of the game. It’s meant to be fun and enjoyable and an escape. If you can’t learn to separate the two you’ve got bigger problems to be concerned about.

We briefly see the potential in DAO with Zevran and Isabela in The Pearl and from research there’s apparently a full blown polyamory option in Hades with Megaera and Thanatos.

Not that I can speak on quality of the romance as I haven’t played the game, but for it to be an option to fully romance two characters, at the same time, and both accept the romance without issue is fantastic no matter the execution. At least at this point.

Personally I think it’s be an amazing addition as an OPTION for someone who WANTS TO PURSUE SUCH A THING. If you don’t like it or aren’t interested it WOULDN’T PERTAIN TO YOU AND COULD BE SKIPPED JUST LIKE ANY OTHER OPTION YOU AREN’T INTERESTED IN. Hence why it is an OPTION NOT A REQUIREMENT.

Are there mods out there that allow you to romance more than one character?

Yes.

But I don’t want to have to download a mod especially when (as well written as the mod may be) it likely doesn’t change dialogue, or other character interactions with one another meaning it isn’t REALLY what I’m meaning when I talk about a polyamorous relationship. Not to mention the fact that not everyone CAN download a mod.

I just think it would be nifty to be able to have that choice. To romance more than one person and at the least be ameniable to it. On that same note it would also be nice if there was an option to also have they also romance each other. Some characters when not romance by the player will seek out others anyways. It wouldn’t necessarily be that much of a difficult notion for some to be interested in BOTH.

In the wise words of a girl in an Old El Paso commercial, ¿Por qué no los dos?

Should it necessarily be an option for every character?

No.

That wouldn’t make sense in a number of situations varying from the way a character is written to a characters backstory and history, to their beliefs and involvement with certain organizations.

Could it work for certain characters?

Without question.

Fenris, Isabela and Hawke in DA2 would have been a perfect example in a BioWare game for an opportunity for a polyamorous relationship. I’m sure there are plenty of other pairings and games that the same can be said for.

It would be a good way to give representation to something that many people honestly still think of as taboo or only in a strictly sexual manner. And while polyamory in a sexual manner isn’t a dirty or bad thing, it would be nice to see it in an almost domestic type of situation as well, I guess you could call it for my lack of better way to explain it.

Side note: apparently Baldur’s Gate 3 apparently has a few options for polyamory but as I also have not yet played BG3 (NO SPOILERS IT IS ON MY LIST OF GAMES TO PLAY AS SOON AS I FINISH DRAGON AGE) I also can’t attest to what is truly included with their devotion of a polyamorous relationship.

Apparently a character you meet in Act 3 will ask you out when you meet and depending upon who your other or “main” LI is they will be open to the idea or support it. Others will allow it but not be pleased and the rest are completely against the notion (WHICH IS FINE AND A REALLY A GOOD THING AS IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE FOR EVERYONE TO JUST BE ALRIGHT WITH IT). However it truly is a nice touch for someone who wants that.

[cheeeeep]

I remember things were slowly getting better, two steps forward one step back but always moving forward.

I live in a conservative area so I'm speaking from own experience.

We had pride parade that went through our town. We had family friendly events during the day. Yes drag is considered misogynistic but there was something nice about taking my younger siblings to get their faces painted (rainbows and butterflies stuff like that) by drag queens, then we'd go do art at the art gallery and then get food from a local restaurants food truck. They had fundraisers for LGBTQ youth shelters, and talks about how we are all one community. Even some progressive non denomination Christian churches were there in support. We had musical performances. It was so fun.

Sure at night the bars got wild but those were adult only events.

But then I had to stop taking my siblings because the kink people started coming out during the day. Men in latex dog masks and doms walking around with people on leashes. Weird shit.

And when you brought it up you were met with bullshit about how important sex is to the community and we shouldn't "shame" people.

The following year less people went.

Then there was the infighting about identity and why were white cis voices the head of everything. This pride we will focus on pronouns and non binary identity. Trans people of color and then trans people should lead the march because that's "how pride started". No police at the events (which is like I understand police are not the ally but large events by law need to have a police presence).

No more rainbow washing, corporations just want our spaces to advertise. ( Who is going to pay for all this? And while it is valid ,we do live in a capitalist society so we need companies to be outloud that " yes your money is good here, yes you can get loans here." As opposed to before where there was legal discrimination against LGBTQ people at these institutions).

I had already removed myself from those communities by the time I heard that pride was being cancelled by it's own community.

It never came back how it used to. No parade. Maybe some events in the town square and bars would have pride events. Even after the pandemic, nothing really has come back.

I wonder what all the protesters did because their job was done for them.

And I guess that's why I'll always be bitter and angry about this because it's all regressive.

And before I start rambling I really do think the way things are going will back fire.

We went from "we are just like you we are apart of your wider community" to all this weird stuff and othering of people in their own community.

[literali1110]

More 6x01 Chenford Thoughts

So I've had some time to think and read other people's takes on the episode. And I think overall what happened is a little more nuanced than my first reaction so I wanted to share my current thoughts and what I liked and didn't.

Starting from the beginning: When Lucy asks to ride with Tim again, essentially ask him to be TO Tim - this is the beginning of where things start to go wrong IMO. Not only does having them ride together again lessen the impact of their last ride together in 5x12, it completely ignores the fact that they already decided they can't ride together because their personal relationship affects their professional one.

Lucy's first spiral moment: I've seen people say they relate to Lucy's anxiety here, so I don't want to ignore that. But I do kinda wish they hadn't showed her have that spiral out moment while she was on the job, maybe? Or have it be so exaggerated. Although at this point I agree Tim could have said something to help her instead of shaking his head and rolling his eyes (even though Lucy said she knows what he's thinking).

I know they gave excuses for Nyla and Angela (although I think the excuse for Angela wasn't really a good excuse), but I do think they are probably more capable of giving Lucy the professional validation she needs in this moment...

At the actual crime scene: I do think Tim was a little bit in a tough spot... If he gave her the answer, she probably would have been upset anyway. And he did ask her what she wanted him to do and ultimately listened to her. I guess his decision could have led to a murderer getting away, so probably not the best professional choice but again, we already had a whole episode talking about how Tim doesn't make good professional decisions when his girlfriend's reputation is at stake.

I'm not mad at him for how the whole precinct made fun of Lucy, they make fun of everyone. It just would be nice to have some good confident Lucy moments. I want to see her PROGRESS from the TO/rookie dynamic and really come into her own. In fact, one of the good moments was from the episode when Tim was in the hospital and Nyla gives her a pep talk...just further highlighting that in this case, her storyline might have been better if she wasn't riding with Tim.

With the fight scene itself: it seems everyone is in consensus that Tim was trying to be supportive. And on rewatch I still believe this is the case because he starts out by saying she should take the exam and even when he agrees she can wait, he mentions she can still do UC in the meantime. So I do think that in that moment Lucy was reading into something that wasn't there and lashing because of her own insecurities. However, I do see the arguement that Tim could have realized that and tried to react to it better.

And that's why the last scene to me felt very disconnected from the main issue this episode - which was Lucy feeling insecure. She brings up that Tim is being unsupportive because of his own reservations - except, he was trying to be supportive in the previous conversation! So I just don't think this was a way the "Tim's feelings about UC" conversation should have been brought up - even though I agree it is a conversation that needs to be had.

(And I don't really understand what Lucy meant by 'undermining', if she's still referring to his "being unsupportive".)

And Tim is obviously upset by that and walks away, while I think he should have stayed and talked to her about the real issue at hand. I've seen people mention that this also ties back to how Lucy doesn't have support from her parents and that's something that we've never even seen them talk about together on screen (we never saw her tell Tim about the last time her mom came over in S3).

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is there are two topics here. 1. Lucy's confidence and career path. 2. Tim's feelings about UC and how he is going to deal with what Lucy chooses. And maybe they would have been able to have each of these storylines really shine if they hadn't mixed them all up together in this episode and kept them riding together. Have them work our their professional storylines separately, or with the help of other characters, but come home and discuss how it's all affecting them personally.

(Of course, you could argue that it's all connected for Lucy, she's the one factoring Tim's feelings into her decision, and there's something to that, but still, I just want to see a new and better dynamic for them, together and apart, that isn't the old TO/rookie one.)

My dream for Lucy actually is that she goes into that interview room with Primm and just owns up to what she did: yeah, I managed to manipulate 5 police officers in a trade, so just think what I can do in an interrogation room!

[after-witch]

messages

I got a lot of lovely messages about my back pain at my first day of work so I'm answering them all in one post!

thank you for the kind messages & logical responses, I really really really really truly appreciate it when people take the time out to send something thoughtful to me.

under a keep reading!

Anonymous asked:

I'm not sure if it'll help at all or if you could use one, but there's some companies that make cushions that are portable (or semi portable) for office work and truck driving and stuff, they can help with bad chairs and back pain (I got one for my mom years ago after an injury, she quite liked it) (I'm so sorry if this unsolicited advice is unwelcome)

no it's not unwelcome! I have one for strapping into chairs that I got last year, but tbh I found that a rolled up pillow was better for my back, at least with the chair I have.

Anonymous asked:

hello Theo! it's okay to feel the way you feel after your first day. a new job is a very stressful experience and there's an element of shock, because you rapidly enter a new environment and are required to adjust to it very promptly.

I'm more than sure that neither your boss, nor your colleagues will be against it if you bring yourself a pillow to support your back to work. you can start small with a pillow, if you feel awkward about more significant adjustments, and then later negotiate a question of bringing a more comfortable chair, if you have resources. you need to be a special sort of asshole to start picking on your employee for a back pillow.

this is an immediate health need that should be met and an absolutely valid reason to request making adjustments on your workplace, doctor note or not. 1) the more comfortable you make yourself the more chances are that it will improve your overall performance; 2) from the employers's POV accommodating to the needs of an already on-boarded employee is better than going through the hiring process all over again.

I wish you all the best and I am sure you will do great once you adjust! sending you a mental hug

"shock" definitely fits… it's all very fast and just, jarring I guess?

I brought a cushion today and no one said anything. I did find out what I need to do in terms of requesting accomodations via an online FAQ (I didn't want to ask my manager so early;;) but I will need a doctor to fill out a form, so I have to wait until next month when I have health insurance.

Thank you for the kind words and logical thought process. I sometimes just need people who are not me, currently in hysterical emotional frenzy, to be like no, this is not a big deal, only assholes will care about a pillow and employer's would rather complete an accommodation request then find & hire someone new.

--

Anonymous asked:

You absolutely should ask for accommodations this early. They hired you because they know you were right for the job, they want you there, so they will help make it easier for you. They are obviously nice people so ask.

You've been through alot of stress and anxiety recently so having that all build up on you after your first day is normal.

It's hard to not think negatively I know but don't let your brain spiral you until you have talked to them. We are always are own worse enemies!

It will be fine, you will be fine

It turns out I do need a physician to fill out a form so I will have to wait until next month when I have insurance. But thank you for the logical thoughts... I get so wrapped up when I feel negative emotions, I kind of lose myself in them. I brought a cushion today and no one said anything.

I have been really stressed & anxious and it's kind of like the Cherry on Top when something went wrong with my back. I'm always waiting for something bad to happen so to speak, when things go right... so when my back hurt so bad yesterday I was just like "Welp!! here it is!!!! right on cue!"

--

Anonymous asked:

First few times I took a flight I dealt with horrible muscular pains the days after, the first few days I could barely walk each time. The reason why that used to happen to me, even though I thought I was relaxed and just sitting, was because I was unconsciously straining my muscles due to stress I wasn’t aware of. Eventually the whole thing became casual to me, so the stress and the pain went away and these days I’m completely unaffected.

Of course a condition such as yours might further exacerbate the pain, but as you get used to the new climate and process I doubt you’ll have to deal with it for months or years. It’ll become like sitting at home.

I think for sure, I was straining when sitting at the chair, because it doesn't have the same type of back (nor is it as wide) as my chair at home... so I feel like my back muscles were straining for hours and I didn't think about it. But also the chair is rather awful (other people were complaining about them, especially with it hurting their thighs!) so I hope I can get an accommodation request.

[leivyathan]

AHEM sorry this is gonna be super duper random, but in note of you (mostly) leaving the TSBS fandom, I just wanna say thank you for sticking around as long as you have!!!

I too pretty much detached myself from TSAMS/TSBS around the time of the Nexus arc, because I really hated how it was played out/everything that went down in it (New Moon was done so damn dirty 💢), but for the longest time I felt like I was a fish out of water when it came to my opinions! But then I found you!!!

I fucking HATE Ruin, haha. I despise him, and seeing so many love him- while of course I left them to themselves- it always made me a little mad and upset to see. Then there was you being so openly loud about your hatred for such a popular character, it's admirable as hell, and I super appreciate it!!! The fact that he got away with what he did with basically no punishment aside from Nexus (good on Nexus for all that he did to Ruin btw 💗) makes me so upset, and it's just nice to know I'm not alone in feeling that!

For however long you stay in the fandom, or keep watching EAPS, I wish you luck and a good time! You more than deserve it, friend 💗💗💗

Oh… Wow

I've had to take my time processing these words for a few hours, not because they're a bad thing in any way, on the contrary, I'm not at all used to receiving any kind of validation when expressing my honest dislike towards something, even when that something doesn't exist; at least not from people I don't know. So it feels weird, in a good way.

Thank you for sharing your kind words with me.

I really have no worries about expressing these kinds of opinions as long as I follow some simple rules that at least to me are common sense:

If for some reason, motive or circumstance I have to express dislike/hate towards a character in a place that is not my own blog, I will do so in the most polite and respectful way possible, based on the canonical reasons and facts that support my dislike and not simply writing insults.

I will never go to talk badly in a space for fans of the character I hate, I'm not an idiot, why the hell would I go to a place with people who do enjoy the character just to say why I don't like that character? It's dumb.

My blog is my safe space, it belongs to me, and therefore I consider that I can write my most honest opinions about said character, since that way if someone doesn't agree with me, they simply have to block me. That way they won't have to read it as an insult and I wish eternal suffering to the character in two different languages ​​lol

And I think this is pretty obvious but I guess it never hurts to say it because there are always people with poor reading comprehension: The fact that I hate or detest with all my soul one or more characters, does not mean that this hatred is also directed at the creator or voice actor of said character. Because yes, I hate Ruin and many Eclipses with all my heart, but at the same time I love Solar and respect Sun, and even if Davis didn't have any character that I liked, I wouldn't insult him vulgarly in any way, neither him nor any other member of the Staff. I can criticize them, in an educated way and having reasons for my opinions, but I can never disrespect them with insults.

Anyway, at least for me it is very cathartic to express this kind of things because I feel that without a place to be really honest and direct about my opinions, I would be drowning in poison, and luckily I have my blog and other personal accounts for that. Which again, others can very easily block

I hope that you also manage to have a safe space where you can be honest without bothering others or fearing reprisals for your opinions that do not coincide with the majority.

Because at least in this specific case, it is simply illogical for someone to judge you for hating a fictional character who turns out to be a manipulative, genocidal liar among many other things. Don't feel bad about it. Have a nice day and take care of yourself`~

[youremyheaven]

"(Mercurials are unfairly critical of others, have you noticed?) and she frequently took digs at me and was one of those people who make jokes at the expense of others."

on at least 5 separate occasions throughout the years i, with the help of another friend, have had to sit down and explain to my mercurial friend that she has to think before she speaks and how you can't just constantly insult people 💀 she's genuinely one of the most critical people i know, some examples include her walking around every inch of my island in animal crossing and tearing apart everything she saw for like an HOUR. yes it was in a video game, and yes im still salty!! she also would ask to read my creative writing or essays and then annotate it with her criticisms WITHOUT ME ASKING HER TO 😭😭 i remember the first time she graded my short story i wrote for fun an F and i was just staring in utter disbelief

she also would constantly make fun of peoples looks in a joking way (myself included) and when i told her to stop she'd play innocent like it was just a harmless joke, begrudgingly apologize, and do it again like a week later. i've observed this sort of underhanded behaviour in two mercury women so i think they might have a habit of it? i get complimented a lot and yes i'm tooting my own horn here but i am very good looking however she had an OBSESSION with getting unflattering photos of me and then sending them to our friends "as a joke" and then would play the victim when i got mad. like sorry i don't want our whole social circle thinking i look like albino shrek omg

OMG BESTIEEE I FEEL SO SEEN IM GOING TO CRY,, WE SHOULD START A SUPPORT GROUP FR

the biggest reason why i cant stand Mercurial women is how theyre sooo deeply insecure that they'll tear apart others just to feel better about themselves

yearsss ago I got a really cute bag for really cheap and i was talking about it with my Mercurial friend and she said "it looks ugly thats why it was cheap" and she was carrying around a tattered, worn out, faded ass bag lmaooo

another mercurial girl who was average looking criticized practically everybody we knew for being ugly. she wore the shittiest clothes and criticized other people's sense of style

an Ashlesha Moon girl i knew never said one nice thing about me but often praised our other friends for no reason and made them sound like the second coming of Cleopatra,, i called her out on it and she told me "i thought you heard enough from others, i didnt know you were desperate for validation from me as well" 💀💀

THE BACKHANDED COMMENTS u mentioned??? bestieee we're all victims here 😭😭

so between 8th and 10th grade, i was in an extremely abusive homoerotic friendship with an Ashlesha Moon,,, she was always putting me down for no reason. i kinda sing,, i am not a brilliant singer but i have won prizes in school for singing so i know i dont suck as a singer. one time she asked me to sing for her on call and then she was silent and said "its not exactly brilliant but its not horrible i guess" 10 yrs later, i wish i couldve reached out through the phone to smack her face,,, i was in my poet era back then and tbh my poetry was pretty good if i say so myself and this girl??? always accused me of plagiarism,, i took it in my stride bc i was like "ok if u think im THAT good then what do i do" lol.

i could go on but ill stop here ,,, i hope i never meet another mercurial again amen

[lucky-clover-gazette]

fandom/feelings vent i just really wanted out of my system, seriously not targeted at any one person or thing:

there are few things that make me more uncomfortably aware of my attachment issues than seeing multishipping or polyshipping of fictional pairings i really care about. i think because i put so much of myself into writing about fictional relationships, and one of my greatest fears in a relationship would be my partner wanting to be open, it’s an understandable but not *valid* emotional response. but still, i live in my head, and have to manage it. it sucks.

like, i’ve drafted this post several times. i love fandom culture and shipping communities, and it sucks that a very present thing in those spaces is such a ridiculous sore spot for me. i feel like i’m less able to support people making cool things, who enjoy the same stories i enjoy.

i never want to degrade the comfort and importance stories and relationships like these have in people’s lives. i love creating things that are close to my heart, and the reasons i care about these characters and ships are roughly the same as anyone else’s.

but it’s really bad, man, the way this stuff gets to me. like, i’m sorry to overshare, but the idea of a ship i really care about being open legitimately makes me feel like a cornered prey animal. trouble breathing, tearing up, can’t focus on anything else, heart beating fast. i understand that this is not a normal response to such an inconsequential and somewhat avoidable stimulus. while i’m not about to share the reasons why i have this trigger, i can assure you they make sense as a source of trauma. the problem is that my irrational trauma response is not a valid equivalent to moral disgust or discomfort, and it’s really frustrating that i can’t just be neutral.

rationally, i know it’s all projection, and has nothing to do with these fictional characters or stories, or the people making fan content. but i also can’t deny the very real way my body physically reacts to even the notion of non-monogamy in relationships i care about.

and i’m not just talking fandom stuff here, i live in a city where more than half of the queer people my age seem to self-identify as ethically non-monogamous or poly. both in fandom and real life queer spaces, it’s almost like i’m missing out on the party because the way a lot of people like to party makes me feel profoundly trapped, powerless, betrayed, insulted, and abandoned, which are all feelings i do not handle well.

more than anything, i just wish i could be normal about this very present facet of fandom/shipping culture and even enjoy it on occasion. when it’s not like my “otp” or whatever i really don’t mind at all. i guess i just see so much almost aggressive positivity about like “character has two hands” memes and stuff like that, where it almost makes me feel like a bad person for needing monogamy for a fictional or real-life relationship to feel safe. and while i do believe open-mindedness should be a core tenant of social spaces, i also feel alone with these rotten feelings, and i can’t really channel them creatively in a way that wouldn’t just upset me or make other people feel bad.

there is no point to this post really, just kind of wondering if anyone has felt this way/has advice beyond the obvious and very valid basics like “only interact with content you want to see,” and “what works for some people does not have to work for you, and vice versa.” i seriously have no judgment of fandom friends multishipping or polyshipping, or the idea of those relationships themselves. mostly, the presence of those ideas just cause me an irrational amount of discomfort because of past experiences, and i wish i could fix that part of myself. not saying i ever want to be poly or write those kinds of stories, but not being embarrassingly triggered would be a great first step. and i guess ultimately it would just be nice to feel a little less alone about having this problem.

[happyk44]

Who's Piper’s FP do you think? Leo or?

For those who don't know, FP stands for favourite person. It is a common term used by people with BPD, but it is not exclusive to BPD or even to PDs in general. Some people with personality disorder(s) may never have an FP or equivalent person.

An FP is a person that someone, typically a person with BPD, relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes. Other PDs may use different terms, such as depended person for DPD. Those terms may also be more centered on the core of the respective PD. For HPD, I believe the equivalent term is attentive person, someone who is a steady and reliable source of attention.

In the general HPD AU, on the favourite person front, I don't think Piper has one. Her emotions are too fleeting. While she may grow quickly attached to people and overassume her position in their life, her world and moods don't revolve around that person's absence or presence. If they left her, she might be sad about it but she wouldn't become as devastated as someone else might. She does not depend on a specific person for emotional stabilization (she doesn't feel enough for that) or validation. While there are some people she holds in high esteem, like Annabeth, I think her issue would be overly trusting with them versus idealization.

Now, on the attentive person front, I considered that Leo might qualify. However, he is much more solitary and likes having space and time to himself so while he might be a reliable source of attention for her, he's not always the most steady or constant with it. Since Piper's not interested in engineering and some of Leo's projects require a signficant portion of his focus, she can't really interject herself into it. He may humor her when she's needy but it'll be very fleeting and he'll get fustrated if she bothers him too much because he wants to work on his stuff.

It's somewhat similar with Annabeth, coupled with the fact that they are not as close as Piper thinks they are. Annabeth has her own things going on, her own responsibilities, other friends that she's known longer/is closer to. Piper is someone she likes and would happily hang out with, but she'd get very quickly tired of Piper's neediness.

With Jason, he could've been her AP for a while, I guess, but likely more due to her subconscious charmspeak influence forcing him to pay attention to her rather than any willingness on his part. I think Jason really just dated Piper because she expected him to date her versus any interest on his own end. Which is probably why it hurt when she broke up with him because he was doing it to make her happy. While he likes Piper as a person and a friend, it's pretty much just that. So once he moves back to Camp Jupiter, his attention is not as constant or reliable.

So, yeah, with the general AU, I'd say she doesn't have an FP, and Jason temporarily was her AP but not without her forcing it.

In this one specific version of the AU, it's Leo 100%. Mostly because it's really just the two of them against the world. This AU is a combination of both the mute!, hpd! and "Leo was a part of the Titan army" AUs. Shortly after the events of TLO, Leo and Piper meet. He gets caught stealing, and she takes the blame for it. They keep in contact. At some point, he realizes she's a demigod and tells her about it. They figure out her mom is Aphrodite. Piper manages to get Leo to move into her house. This all occurs within like a month or so.

Whether or not her dad notices Leo lives with them is up in the air. I think he's not at home enough to recognize that Leo never leaves. He thinks it's nice she's finally made a friend and doesn't really question it other than a half-assed discussion on safe sex that she cringes through but grittingly deals with because it's the most attention her dad has paid her in a while.

While they do love each other very deeply, their friendship is very codependent (which is common in relationships with FPs and equivalent). There was one story I daydreamed a while ago where Piper destroys a prosthetic that Leo had been working on (he doesn't have an arm, happened prior to the events of TLO) because she was angry he wasn't providing her with enough attention and he can't do anything about it because he doesn't want to risk being forced back on the streets (even if he knows, logically, she'd never do that to him). They end up arguing intensely about it.

Due to her selective mutism, Piper is not able to communicate easily which makes it harder for her to connect with people and receive attention from them. In the general AU, Piper doesn't have that issue. She has a broader range of people to socialize and connect with, and receive attention from. In this version, Leo is definitely her AP. He could be her FP as well, I suppose. I don't think she idealizes him, but she definitely overly relies on him for emotional support. She can't get it anywhere else. Honestly, she can't get anything from anywhere else: companionship, attention, support, love. He is all she has.

Also, in this AU (which developed out a story for the underworld Jason AU, but could be its own thing too, I guess), Nico meets Leo after he runs away at the end of TTC. Leo tries to convince him to go with him and join the Titan Army, but Nico turns him down because he wants to find his dad first. They meet up again some time after Leo has moved in with Piper and are on friendly terms, although not close. Nico provides materials that Leo wouldn't be able to get from mortals, like celestial bronze, which he uses to make weapons for Piper and himself.

Piper does not like Nico because he deviates attention from her and because he can also provide Leo with things, which is one of the ways she ensures Leo won't leave her. Nico doesn't really know why Piper beefs with him, but he can sense her dislike even if she tries to fake it. It's one of the areas she and Leo argue constantly about because he likes talking to Nico and wishes she would chill the fuck out him, he doesn't even show up that much, fucking relax.

[decay-of-braincells]

was in the #free palestine from hamas tag & saw you getting anon hate, so here's some anon solidarity: these bigots don't know what "zionist" means & they want to pretend that Never Again is about them, but it's not. and can i just say as a diaspora Jew it is so sad to see other Jews throwing Israeli zionists under the bus like...there's no point in being a pickme "Good Jew", the people chanting FTRTTS are incapable of nuance. Any "antizionist Jew" they can use is one wrong word away from being a (((dirty ki--zio))) and they seem to think the two-state solution is (((code))) for genocide or smth bc, well, anything else would require holding multiple truths at once i guess. very frustrating to see other Jews grovelling in the hope that they won't get "cancelled" for not being, idk, properly ashamed of their own heritage. Anyway. Am Yisrael Chai and we have as much right to self-determination in our ancestral homeland as every other indigenous group. Jews are from Judea, like wow, who knew! lol. stay safe 💜

Ahhhhh I stayed away from my ask box because of the hate, so I totally missed this!

Anyway, thank you! It's nice knowing some people are on the right side <3

I really have no problem with a one-state solution, it's just that Palestinians have shown again and again that they are not interested it that at all.

I'm honestly really tired of people telling me to "get educated" when going out and doing research was literally the thing that made me pro-israel!

If I thought a Palestinian genocide was going on I wouldn't be in support of israel. But I haven't seen any real, valid proof of that happening. Even though I have seen plenty of proof of an attempted Israeli genocide.

Hamas is a terror organization that doesn't give a shit about its people. Every donation you send to help Palestine is just used for weapons instead of actually taking care of the citizens.

Palestine isn't a horrible place to live in because of israel - its because of hamas. They are the group we should all be fighting against.

Hope you have a great day/night, anon! I really appreciate you <3