#but i gotta say he's hilarious in other events

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

So was anyone going to tell me Faust is a bigger menace than EVERYONE in the game put together or like. Was I supposed to play the Impossible Choices event (Vincent and Charles ver) myself. I LOVE that he's the definition of: 'being smarter doesn't make me more mature or helpful, it just makes my inherent lust for chaos/entropy all the more unstoppable' This shit FUCKS

I think this is the first time I've ever seen a character make Shakespeare's life a living hell and the latter didn't expect/see it coming, that was AMAZING. Mf was out here like "What the hell??? You lot don't make me suffer I make YOU suffer. Let a man obsess IN PRIVACY" and then nobody cared. Peak comedic interaction, no notes everyone pack it up

[frownyalfred]

Recently saw that Justice League: Unlimited episode of Batman fighting Dr. Destiny and you know what would be hilarious? If there'd be this constant muttering of clues Batman noticed about Dr. Destiny while they were talking to each other.

"Gotta sleep sometime," says Dr. Destiny.

male, baritone voice

"Adrenaline rush wearing off?"

probably mid 40s to late 50s

"Ready for your doctor's appoint- Okay, can you stop that?

easily irritable, quick to lose focus, unprofessional

"What- You almost- I almost made you crash! You were about to die! By my hand, even!"

childish retorts, bad assessment of previous events, doesn't know what he's doing

"You-" *deep breath* "Whatever. The closer you come to me, the stronger my power is! You are driving to your own demise."

talks like an e-list villain, explained his powers, desperate to intimidate, heavily relies on his telepathy. therfore: unlikely to be a skilled combatant or have an ace up his sleeve. not much of a threat

"Yooouuuuuaaaaagghhhhhhhhhhh-"

That's gotta be the most demotivating thing ever. You try to accomplish something and there's someone breathing criticisms into your ear after every sentence you speak.

Bruce is the kind of person who meets a telepath and just goes "hm another way to make this fun" and just lets them have his full mental cacophony all at once. oh you thought telepathy was going to be an advantage? with this trauma??

[stylespresleyhearted]

POV: YOU’RE DATING CALLUM TURNER

or the one where i pretend i am Callum’s girlfriend (and also tagging @precious-little-scoundrel on this bc I GOTTA)

liked by yourinstagram and 56204 others

tmznews Callum Turner spotted with a mystery girl! Is the new heartthrob off the market? Link in bio for everything TMZ has on his new gal.

view all comments

user23 the invasion of privacy … yikes

user12 What does it say about me if I read the article because tbh I’m curious

fan12 don’t do it, lets respect their privacy

callumupdates Don’t give TMZ any clicks. Look at the horrible quality of the photos, they obviously weren’t supposed to obtain these. Callum will share when he is ready.

yourfriendsig At least she’s pretty 😍

yourinstagram stopppp haha

liked by rafflaw, anthonyboyle, and others

yourinstagram soft launching my man bc he’s hot and i love him ❣️ (oh yeah and tmz exposed us)

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fan12 GIRL THIS IS A HARD LAUNCH NOTHING SOFT ABOUT IT!!!!

user41 crrrryingggg omg iconic

user23 lol attention seeker

yourfriendsig It took me three years to be IG official with you, why does he get special treatment 😒

yourusername take a guess 😉

keoghan92 @tmznews you suck

liked by fan12 and 63917 others

deuxmoi Spotted: Callum Turner and his girlfriend at a pub in downtown London. Looks like no more hiding for this couple. Sources tell me they’re in love and don’t care who knows it.

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fan12 wahhh they’re so cute

user23 i’m so jealous but i also ship it so hard

fan41 my friend saw them making out at a diner last week lmao she said they were eating each other not the food

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yourinstagram so proud and moved to tears ♥️ the entire cast and crew did a great job honoring these brave men

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fan12 we love a supportive gf

fan41 what a great picture fr

user23 I met y/n at the event tonight and she was the sweetest, most HILARIOUS person its easy to see why Callum is in love with her ❤️

liked by yourinstagram, rafflaw, and 78912 others

anthonyboyle One Direction

view all comments

user97 OMGGG they’re so hot wtf

yourinstagram more like Wrong Direction

keoghan92 you think you’re funny huh

yourinstagram Callum finds me funny 🥲

rafflaw he’s biased he’s in love with u

fan91 cryingg she’s a part of the mota fam 💍🥹

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yourinstagram hi movie star ♥️ i love you - your biggest fan

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rafflaw 💍💍💍👀

yourfriendsig @rafflaw LMAO DONT START THE RUMORS

appletv Mr & Mrs Egan spin off?

keoghan92 sappy

yourinstagram @sabrinacarpenter

liked by yourinstagram and 639 others

yourfriendsig good times

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user91 … the hand on her ass … making out … CALLUM TURNER I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

yourinstagram why would you post this when you know im missing him 🥺

yourinstagram brb omw to ft him

fan23 i love the way y/n loves him she isn’t afraid to be a normal girlfriend

liked by anthonyboyle, keoghan92, austinbutler, and 941633 others

yourinstagram social media making fun of me for this but if he was your man you’d get it 😌 i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ♥️♥️

view all comments

fan12 if i didn’t see my bf for a week i’d react the same way people need to mind their business

yourinstagram it was only three days but yes your point still stands 😆

yourfriendsig y/n you’re an icon

fan92 i love them so fucking much pls adopt me

yourinstagram okay! ♥️

liked by austinbutler, rafflaw, and 76043 others

yourinstagram someone tell y/n not to leave her phone unlocked 🤣🤣🥳 - anthony & barry here!

edit: got my phone back. can’t bring myself to delete my boyfriend looks so cute. i guess barry and anthony look okay.

view all comments

fan23 LMAO PLS HOW DID THEY STEAL HER PHONE !!!😂😂CALLUM TAKE IT BACK!

yourinstagram he was supposed to hold it for me it didn’t fit in my clutch and he sided w the enemies 🥺

anthonyboyle New profile picture?

yourinstagram i’ll kill you

yourinstagram also i think it’s important for everyone to know @keoghan92 stuck his hand down my boyfriends pants pocket to get my phone

keoghan92 and i liked it

anthonyboyle 😂😂😂

—

The End

Ahhhhhh making this was so much fun!!! Y/N is a bit shameless in her adoration for her man but that’s the point!!! I’d be the same if he was mine (I mean look at Vanessa Kirby and Dua Lipa lmao)

Marina this is for us because this man deserves our love we’d make him so happy 🙌🏼

It was supposed to be silly and funny so don’t give me shit obviously celeb relationships would be a lot more private. And for bonus fun check this out ⬇️

[brainddeadd]

oooo young player x devils!

maybe she went to the all stars with jack and jesper and her and jack were just chasing chaos everywhere and jack made sure he introduced his favorite teammate to everyone

All Star

The NHL All-Star weekend was one of the biggest events of the season, and Y/N couldn’t believe she was there. As one of the youngest players on the New Jersey Devils, it felt surreal to be surrounded by the league's best players. But it wasn’t just the experience that made it memorable—it was the fact that she got to attend with Jack Hughes and Jesper Bratt.

From the moment they arrived, Jack had stuck to her side like glue, dragging her along as he greeted friends and teammates from across the league. Jesper, ever the calm balance between Jack's chaos, trailed behind with a grin, shaking his head at Jack’s antics.

“You ready to cause some trouble?” Jack had whispered to Y/N with a mischievous gleam in his eye the minute they set foot in the arena.

“Always,” she replied, smirking.

The two of them became an unstoppable duo. Whether it was sneaking into places they probably weren’t supposed to be or challenging other All-Stars to ridiculous mini-competitions, they were everywhere, causing harmless but hilarious chaos.

At one point, Jesper just stood there watching with amusement as Jack and Y/N started an impromptu stickhandling contest on the carpet in the hallway. “You two are like little kids,” he said, shaking his head but unable to hide his grin.

But it wasn’t all just playful chaos. Jack had one goal in mind: to introduce Y/N to everyone. He was proud to have her as his teammate and wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to show it off.

He dragged her to different groups of players, a big smile on his face each time he introduced her. “This is Y/N—my favorite teammate!” Jack would say enthusiastically. “Seriously, you gotta watch out for her on the ice. She’s a beast.”

Every time, Y/N would laugh, a little embarrassed, but she couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride at how much Jack hyped her up. She had quickly become close to Jack and the rest of the boys on the Devils, and seeing him talk about her like that made her feel like she really belonged.

At one point, they found themselves face-to-face with Connor McDavid. Jack, unphased, immediately launched into introductions. “Connor, you’ve gotta meet Y/N! She’s going to take over the league one day, I swear.”

Connor chuckled and gave her a friendly nod. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’ve heard good things.”

Y/N smiled nervously, feeling the weight of the high praise from both Jack and McDavid. “Thanks. I’ve still got a long way to go, though.”

“Trust me, you’ll get there,” Connor said with a reassuring smile before glancing at Jack. “You picked a good favorite.”

“Right?!” Jack grinned, slinging an arm around her shoulders as if to show off even more.

As the day went on, Jack continued to introduce her to every player he could, his excitement never waning. Whether it was players from other teams, media, or event organizers, Jack made sure everyone knew who Y/N was.

At the Skills Competition, the two of them were up to more mischief. Between events, they’d jokingly commentate on each other’s performances, making playful bets on who could outdo the other. Jesper sat on the bench, shaking his head at their antics, but you could see the fondness in his eyes. Even on a stage as big as the All-Star weekend, they didn’t take themselves too seriously.

Nico Hischier, who was watching the weekend unfold from back home, texted Y/N during one of the events: “You and Jack causing trouble? Don’t let him get you into too much.”

She replied with a picture of Jack mid-celebration after winning a contest: “No promises :)”

By the end of the weekend, Y/N was exhausted but buzzing with excitement. It had been a whirlwind of meeting legends, participating in events, and sharing endless laughs with Jack and Jesper. As they were heading out, Jack looked at her with a grin. “This was fun. You’re coming to every All-Star game from now on with me, right?”

Y/N laughed. “If I can keep up with you, sure.”

“You will. And next year, we’ll cause even more chaos,” Jack promised with a wink.

Jesper sighed dramatically from beside them. “Just try not to get banned from the league, alright?”

As they all piled into the car to head back, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a surge of gratitude. She had found a family in this team, and moments like these, where Jack made sure she was part of the fun and excitement, meant everything.

And even though she was the youngest and still learning, she knew one thing for sure—she wasn’t going to forget this weekend anytime soon.

[tartstealingknave]

Self aware!twst with a streamer reader:3

"Stitch's tropical Turbulence"

Inspo here !! <3 (I srsly love RoseEmber's videos, the vids r always so funny ���😭)

Always, this is just like the first one with the streamer!reader, expect, this one is in the event!! I'll do the "cloudcalling on the savanna" event after this,I'll wait 4 the "The nightmare before Christmas" event cause I rlly like skully j graves...hes so silly..‼️

CONTENT: Azul and lilia brought the others in monge lounge (I think that's the spelling) to discuss abt the recent event!!

Azul: okay so, we are here to discuss about the event that happened with us!

Lilia: yeah, the event were we were stuck in a beach, and we had to sign a contract to azul..

Azul: it's still a decent contract, plus it's just one week, don't worry.

Ace: yeah.. "One week" of getting told to do something... Agh...

Jack: I'm still uncertain about azul's contract, sure it's pretty "harmless"

Azul: I'm hurt, you really think I'm going to do something horrible? Oh please, I'm not a monster Jack.

Riddle: I still cannot believe I was the one with the flower lei..

Ace: don't be such a partypooper riddle, plus we were at a BEACH. Actually, a beach of a deserted island.

Ace: it's like you're telling me wearing a uniform to the beach is normal, but eh, maybe you're right on the "flower lei" part.

Floyd: eh, goldfishie, you looked funny with that flower lei though.

Floyd: though I still remember what azul said to me about my attire when I said something about his..

Azul: well it's was honestly true, you said I looked like a shady man, we honestly surprised yuu alongside them.

Azul: I think they said "why is everyone roasting each other?! Oh my god!" I think it was pretty funny.

Floyd: you're right Azul! Their reaction was priceless.

Floyd: and what do you mean so "suspect" ? You looked like one of those shady business dealers!

Azul: you can't talk when you have your shirt unbuttoned in the event, it made you look like you got "fan service" as they, the player would say.

Lilia: alright! Alright! Stop fighting, even though you guys looked hilarious fighting, can we stop?

Azul: you also cannot be talking about Fanshion sense when you just said "yuu! How do I look?! Do I look adorable as I ought to be?!" And you looked pleased when they said yes to your question.

Lilia: at least they were being honest about it, now stop fighting, let's just change topics shall we?

Floyd: ugh fine, azul you're lucky.

Riddle: speaking of changing topics, I just remember about how lilia fell down from the sky.. It was loud.

Riddle: how much do you even weight? It was heavy. A heavy impact on that.

Lilia: hehe, it's none of your problem, plus, I don't need no broom to fly, a fae like me doesn't need it as I said, it's just a quick hop! Surely would have known that ages ago.

Lilia: maybe he forgot when leona's overb-

Jack: we don't talk about that situation! We also don't talk about the O word.

Riddle: I wish lilia could have had actually go to school to get help, since that would have meant we would have never signed a contract..

Azul: we know it's your worst nightmare, riddle.

Floyd: yet we couldn't turn into merform, it would have been much faster and more effective if we could have turned into merform.

Jack: oh god, I still don't like that merform of yours, it freaks me out.

(IDK IF IT DOES BUT THE VIDEO SAID EARLIER THAT JACK DOESN'T LIKE FLOYD AND JADE A LITTLE SO😭)

Floyd: hehe, shrimpy's reactions to azul's contract will never fail to amuse me.

Azul: right, it seems that they hate signing my contracts, how sad..

Riddle: I would be too.

Ace: kinda funny when they said "they gotta arrest Azul when their back on campus".

Azul: those words did make me laugh though.

Floyd: right! Shrimpy is so funny hehe.

That's the uhh end:3 it's kinda short... (I'm still making shameless!reader okay)

[chaosandmarigolds]

Among The Bullets

Chapter One, Part 2.

Summary: You're a transfer mechanic for a task force which you know nothing about, and while trying to figure out your standing with each of the members you begin to realize you may be over your head. (Evental romance, bear with me. Simon doesn’t know how to flirt but he’s trying ok??)

On your schedule, which you were fully planning on ditching once you got your footing, you had a meeting with the Captain of the team before dinner. Made sense in your mind, however, what didn’t make sense was how it didn’t tell you where to meet him- you assumed his office? Did he have an office? How would find said office within the labyrinth of rooms?  So, once again you found yourself very awkwardly standing alone within the bustling crowd, head bowed you looked over the tablet for any missing information. 

You still hadn’t eaten, your eyes were pleading for a moment of closure and your muscles ached for something other than a caffeine-dense drink; yet, there were things that needed to get done and once those things were done would be able to go on with your life. So, you ignored the lightheaded feeling, the grumbling of your stomach, and the throbbing headache, and was snapped back into reality by someone nudging your boot- in all fairness you knew it was innocent but you, with the past forty or so hours being a blur, were already high strung so with a spin on the heel you turned to face the person, fully prepared to bite their head off and tell them to watch where they were going. 

“For fucks sake man, can’t you’ fuckin-” Your words died on your tongue as you saw another one of the team members (who you weren’t technically supposed to know who they were, but twenty minutes alone in a military room full of computers and a lot of old guys with generic passwords of their wives names seemed too easy) if you remembered correctly this ones name was John or something, as was the Captains, but you made a mental note because this one had a nickname you found hilarious: Soap. A sergeant, above you nonetheless, only taller than you by two or so inches, but could throw your weight around. 

Well. If this was rock bottom then you would certainly take the chance to start crawling up, so you nod hello and once again hold out for him to take, this time (unlike the very mean Lieutant Riley) he took it. A firm grip as you spoke, introducing yourself, and then you clear your throat as you pull your hand away. He seemed nice, seeming to just read you while you began to ramble, “I’m a consult for the next assignment, from the engineering and mechanics…department or…something, sorry-um, I am looking for a Captain John Price, do you happen-”

“Oi, the Cap’n of’ic is-” 

“Oh my God.” The words just spilled from your mouth and if you had zero self-control you would've slapped your hand over your mouth to shut yourself up, but you did so you then began to explain your sudden interruption as he stared at you, “I- You- your voice-I just-I, I wasn’t expect-” His eyes were wide as you went on and you gulp down your embarrassment and motion to him,  “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry- You, you were saying?”

The soldier seemed to be debating if he wanted to be offended or not but he ultimately let out a laugh, “Funny, ‘er funny, bonnie. Cm’on ‘ll take ya.” 

Funny? Well, you would take funny over having another military man out for your blood, so with a small nod you follow beside him, the silence between you both seemed to be deafening until he then spoke, a small nudge to your arm (it almost sent you to the ground but you’re praying that he didn’t notice that part). 

“Gotta be nice to th’ ol’ man, got-chit?” 

You blink a few times to let the words soak in and with a sharp breath you laugh briefly, “I…he’s thirty 37? I highly doubt that’s old, well if he’s old I’m middle-aged-.” 

John gave you a look and then spoke, “Ho’ you know tha?” 

Oh, again with the information…. “Educated guess?” 

“Off what?” 

“The..” can’t say pictures, definitely can’t see you saw all of their medical files during your twenty-minute deep dive, it would be a lie to see you’ve met the man before so you just motion around vaguely, “Vibes. Mmhm, the vibes, just…I knew. From….” He was just watching you, it made your stomach turn and somehow you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, “The vibes.”

John nodded and then knocked on the door, shoving his hands in his pockets and when the door opened he looked to the Captain, “You foun’ us a witch.”

“No-” You try to correct the sergeant but he turns and begins to walk away from you, leaving you with what was going to be your death because now you have a Lieutenant who just hated your guts for no reason and now you have a sergeant who thinks you're a witch. Oh the stories you would be going home with, so you take a breath and straighten your posture, looking at the captain. 

From what you read up on Captain John Price you knew about two things: one, he got his rank for a good reason, and two: he likes smoking (his medical files said so) However, when you looked up at him and held out your hand for him to shake he looked bit too nice for your liking, he gave the impression of an older brother, someone nice, as nice as any person can be within the military- which would be a staggering change of pace from the other people you’ve met thus far, so with a shining smile and shake of the hand your introduce yourself and follow him into the office. 

“Forgive Johnny,” Price begins and motions for you to sit down in one of the not-so-comfortable-looking chairs across from his desk, “He’s…well, you see. He means well.” 

“Ah,” You fake understanding and nod as you obey and sit down, hands neatly placed in your lap and your eyes quickly scan the area around you,  “No, yeah, Sergeant MacTavish seem-” 

“Mmm?” 

Your gaze snaps back to the Captain, panic rushing your bloodstream as you realize you did it again, the third time in the past two hours. So you choose to play dumb, pulling your lips together in a line and tiling your head, praying that your doe eyes were believable (they were, just not to him, and certainly not at that moment)  “Yes, sir?” 

There seemed to be a moment of silence before Price motioned to the tablet that sat in your grasp, “Basic information you’ll need will be downloaded at 22 hundred, no need to break any laws for names.” 

A small gulp and you look down at the tablet which you had spent the last ten minutes fiddling with, the edges of the leather cover already frayed, “I see, is there-” 

“The mechanic on base was killed a few days back, which is why you were picked up early. You’ll also receive his daily tasks and his reports, work is a bit clogged so I suggest you geta jump onit..”

As much as you tried to keep your expression unfazed by the news that the person who used to have your job is now dead, the way your eyes went slightly wide was a good indicator and you cleared your throat a sound coming from you being more like a nervous laugh, “Th…The head mechanic? How many-” 

“Just you.” 

What. There had to be at least a hundred trucks in that garage and then the planes upon that, the helicopters, all on one person? You had to hold back an audible laugh as you tried to read his expression because that had to be a joke. It had to be a joke. Sure, you were the best of your trade that even the military wanted to trade you for other things to help other world militaries and yeah you were good at what you did but you…a sum of 178 vehicles? That would be a stretch, and that was only if it was basic maintenance- not war-run vehicles that were sure to have a plethora of things wrong with them. 

When you realize he was dead serious your face falls from the polite half-smile you had and into one of mild annoyance, scoffing, “You do realize I’m not a superhero right? Can’t multiply myself?”

Price seemed entertained by your snippy words returning with a stern nod and his words harsher, he knew you didn’t understand ranks or anything along that besides a very basic ‘be polite’ standpoint, after all, you essitantally worked for yourself for the majority of your life and any person who held a higher rank most like respected you so…he might as well go a bit easy on you, yet it didn’t stop his tone being bitter, “Be respectful, and I assumed so.”

Okay, you didn’t mean to be disrespectful, so that was on you You direct your gaze to your lap and let out a huff of air, “I apologize, sir. However, I am just one person there is no earthly way I can complete what I assume to be a list of daily tasks on over seven hundred vehicles within a twenty-four-hour frame, if I had a second pair then perhaps, I am fully aware of my limits and this is beyond them. I can maybe complete a third of what you expect me to do within a twenty-four-hour window, much less if you expect me to keep to a twelve-hour shift…sir.” 

A stiff silence followed by a gruff laugh, nudging a sheet of paper over to you, and by the look on his face he could tell the memory attached to it was less than pleasant, “Good communicator, they had that underlined in your file. Along with that they had your mission from Snezhihnsk. You were able to reverse engineer twenty-four foreign trucks within ten minutes, and from what the General said is true…those things were no more than scrap metal.”  

It would be a lie if you didn’t remember that day, it would be a lie if you wished you could forget it as well. Barely twenty, new to the field, new to everything- you were still in college, yet you had been picked up from your dorm and shipped to Russia, being told that you would go with these soldiers and that your own job was to take a piece of a machine they needed to be demolished. Needless to say, that mission went sideways, found some insane laboratory, and saved the inmates, or that's what you like to believe…After you fixed the trucks there was a bombing and everything else was a blur. You preferred to not think about that day, and you hope he would catch onto that. 

“Adrenaline makes the body do some pretty insane things, sir.”

“Then I suggest you find a way to get a dose of it, the list of tasks and maintenance requests are already on the tablet.” He watched you nod and move to stand up however, he preferred to end the meeting with you note being salty about everything so he chose to speak again, “How do you like the barracks, don’t mind sharin do ya?”

Your breath catches in your throat and you look to the captain, confused by the words, you had been given your own room, well more like an office, but it had a sofa bed. So you tilt your head, “Lieutenant Riley took me to a room, said that’s where I would be staying.” 

Price processed the words for a moment, “37A?”

You falter for a moment as you try and remember the room number as you move to stand facing him, “Yes, sir.” 

“I see, my mistake then,” It wasn’t, he knew what the room used to be and more importantly who it was. “Thought it was still used as office.” 

A small pause and then you nod your head, “I better go get started.” 

“Dismissed.”

; 

“And…why haven’t I seen her? I wanna see her.” Kyle questioned Johnny as he followed him as they walked to the table, nice and tucked away in the corner of the mess hall. Of course, he was the last one who heard of the new consult, and it being a female piqued his interest all the more, it was a rare day when they would see female soldiers on this base, so he was especially interested in seeing how a civilian would fit in. However, Johnny was giving him vague words like ‘she’s nice’ or ‘I like her jus’ fine’ meanwhile Simon seemed to just be staring at the door, waiting for something. 

Johnny flashes Kyle a beaming smile and sits down, looking over the tray of food which he didn’t truly find appealing but it would be alright he supposed, “An’ you will, L.T said she’ gunna join us for dinner.” 

To that news Kyle frowned even more and grabbed his cup, “Ghost met her to? How is that fair?”

“Eh!” Johnny snipped back at his buddy, “I foun’ her lookin loss as a pup, L.T was ‘er welcome, maybe if ya did ‘er job ‘stead of holin up ya woulda gotten ta’ see ‘er.” 

Kyle looked at Simon and then back to Johnny, waiting for one of them to say that was a joke and it was actually the other way around because if Simon welcomed the consult then it would be reasonable to assume they wouldn’t actually have a consult and that the person had run away, he would have. Well…no, he would’ve stayed to spite him, either way, he wouldn’t be shocked if the next morning they would have some other mechanic wandering the halls. So, after a few moments of silence and neither of them broke into laughter over the joke he let his mouth go agape, “You’re fuckin with me, Ghost was the welcome wagon. Scared shitless is what she was!” 

Among other things they were pretending didn’t happen Kyle added that he pretended to not notice Simon’s glare over to him on the remark and then sat up straight. Simon looks down at his watch and then makes a mental note that you must just be late to everything, because it was twenty after what he had told you- or rather your schedule- to be there for dinner, and he wasn’t exactly in the mood to wait around. Well, either you were late for everything or you had aptly passed out as soon as he left you- yet that would go along with Johnny’s claim that he had found you standing in some obscure spot, making fun of his accent, and then following him to Price’s office. So maybe you went to sleep after that? 

Either way, he wanted to be angry with you for that, it was unprofessional and bluntly very rude, but you did loot tried when he saw you get off the carrier, and you seemed worn slick just by the way you held yourself, eyes with dark circles and your body moved with each breath. You needed rest, so a small part of him seemed to be content with that notion, if not pleased- purely because the mission needed your undivided attention and he did not have time to catch you up on briefings and help you in more ways than what he has to do. No other reason. 

Conversation seemed to die down as minutes wore on and after about fifteen more Simon had resigned to his original assumption, you had fallen asleep and so that meant he would have to go to his-your room and wake you up. So without a word being spoken to Johnny or Kyle he stands up and walks to the room, which was only about two or so minutes, and it would’ve been less if some stupid idiot of a rookie had gotten out of his way in a timely manner. So, when he did reach the room he knocked on the door, waited for a few moments, and then tried again, this time being greeted by you peeking out from behind the door and then flashing a smile up at him. 

“Lieutenant Riley! I’m sorry about dinner, I had to come back here after my meeting with the captain and I needed to change into-” Your words falter off as you open the door more and vaguely motion to the ruined pair of cargos and black teeshirt (black so no one would see the mess of stains on it),  in your hand you held a five-hour energy shot and in the other an energy drink you found within a vending machine somewhere, “This. Is…Is there something you need help with?” 

It took him a millionth of a second to realize what you were doing, and he shakes his head, “You ‘ere late.” That wasn’t enough because you just nodded and then picked up a small tote bag, filled with what he assumed to be tools judging by the sound- which raised the question of why you didn’t have toolbox but he was going to leave that be for the moment and he…for some reason, found himself speaking again, stepping aside so you can walk out of the room as he did, “Ya met Johnny.” 

With a bite of the tongue, you look up at the Lieutenant as you walk down the hallway and to the garage, tablet sprayed across your hand and the list pulled up for a refresher, so as you walk you nod, “Yessir, he seems very nice.” Simon narrowed his gaze on the ground for a moment as he thought about what you said, which did align to some degree with what he knew about Johnny but not quite right, so he looked at you, “Is that so?” 

“Oh, no, he’s…very pleasant.” You mutter out, eyes going across the hangar to spot what you assumed to be the mechanic's workbench, tucked away in a neat corner, and an assortment of tools and places for things to be placed, as well as the control panel for the garage doors, so you pick up your speed. Finishing off the remainder of the energy drink and tossing it in the trash can as you set your bag down. Staring at the list that shined up at you the cursed tablet as you ran your hands down your face, stretching the skin with a grumble. 

For the time you started at the list, you seemed to forget the Lieutenant was nearby, and when you did finally remember you spun around, leaning against the bench and crossing your arms, blinking the fatigue away from your eyes and plastering a faux smile on your lips, “Again, Lieutenant Riley, what can I do for you?’ 

“What do ya on ‘yer hands?” 

“Checkups.” You chirp, and then to his eyes narrowing from the hidden holes of the mask you go on, “Routine maintenance, plus some since the last is…dead.” 

“Mm, Rusty, poor fellow.”

A stifled laugh and then you bring your hand to your mouth to keep yourself from laughing, it wasn’t that funny it wasn’t funny at all actually and you felt like a horrible human for even chuckling, but you were exhausted and- “Rusty?” You take a deep breath to keep your laughter at bay and you gulp down, “Your mechanic's name was ‘Rusty’??” 

“It was Robert actually.” 

You did your best to stop laughing and gulp down the remainder of the giggles that threatened to interrupt your words and you cross your arms tightly over your chest again, “Mmmm, poor Robert.” 

“Quite. Well, ‘ll leave ya to it.” 

Odd man, you mentally quipped to yourself and then watched him walk off, not waiting too long before turning back to the workbench, within the next forty-eight hours you had to perform eighty-nine maintenance checkups, seven of which as ‘odd sounds’ coming from them and sixteen others who had ‘severe shell damage which affects the ability to steer’. Then you had to get working on the jets- less of your forte but you knew enough to handle yourself and then the helicopters, which again was less than you commonplace but you were able to get the job done.It was going to be a very long time. 

However, you then spent two hours figuring out where everything was, how to get the trucks there for you to work on and then how on earth this Rusty man had his files and tools organized, it was all like a hen house, everything everywhere. So, at the moment when the sun began to set you were pushing a crate across the garage, it was filled with parts, and for some reason, the idiot thought it was a good idea for it to be where all of the plane tools were when they were car parts but… You were trying to refrain from mentally scolding a dead man. 

The crate has at least two hundred pounds of metal so when you got it to the spot you wanted you slumped to the ground heaving for air and leaning your head against the wooden box, waiting for a long moment before you let yourself close your eyes for a moment, and it was truly only a moment because you opened them when you heard someone stands in front of you. With a small breath you crane your neck up to see the person, another solider, another person on the team, so you push yourself up to stand as you introduce yourself, once again, “Hi, I’m sorry, resting my eyes- can I help you S-” 

No, don’t make the same mistake again so you end up clearing your throat, the man giving you a sweet smile,  as he let your hand,  “Gaz.” 

That’s not his name, his nickname, yes so you had to bite back your urge to correct him on his own name, so with a clear of the throat you straightened your posture, “Nice to meet you, can I do anything for you?”

“No, no, just wanted to make an’ introduction.” Kyle spoke as he took a short step away and then motioned to the newly reorganized space, “Nesting?”

With a glare, you stifle a laugh and shrug your shoulders, “No. Just…if you do a job, do it to the best of your abilities, you know?” 

Kyle nods as if not believing a word you said, “Gotcha. Well, I wanted to say hi and make sure you weren’t too shaken up by Ghost.” 

It took you a moment of dumbly staring at an obscure tool as you tried to figure out who he was talking about when it clicked, you looked to the sergeant, “Liuetant Riley! Uh,” you laugh and run a hand through your hair, leaving it on the nape of your neck for a moment, “He…he’s a little scary sure, but he seems kind.” A lie through the skin of your teeth, the Lieutenant somewhat terrified you, and he did not seem kind if anything he seemed beyond condescending to everything you did thus far.

“Mmm,” Kyle seemed to not believe your words again and then patted your shoulder, “Well, goodnight, girly.” 

That triggered something, and it made you a bit sick that it did but blood ran hot for a second. You quickly bite back by saying your name, full name and everything, not leaving out the middle and making sure the last held a nice dose of venom to it, making the sergeant turn around to face you with a confused look on his expression. So you say your name again, “That’s my name, not ‘girly’ not ‘miss’, not ‘kiddo’ not ‘lass’ not ‘bonnie’ or whatever the fuck he called me, my name.” 

There was a stiff silence and you let out a huff of air, sighing, drooping your shoulders, “Oh god, I’m sorry, I’m sorry- I’m tired, I…shouldn’t have snapped at you, you…you’ve been nothing but kind, I-” 

Kyle says your name to tell you to shush up, “I apologize, you have a name, I’ll be sure to use it.”

A small smile appears on your lips and you nod, “Thank you, sir.” 

“Don’t…no, don’t call me that, Gaz, call me Gaz.” 

You laugh at his return and put your hands in your pockets, “Kay, you call me by my name and I call you by yours, that sounds like a pretty fair deal to me.” With a smile still on your expression you say your goodnights and then stand still for a moment, looking down at your boots as you think, this Gaz character was actually pleasant, he seemed nice to where you wouldn’t have to lie when asked about him. 

After a few minutes you turn around and walk back to the workbench, everything as you put it, tablet turned off but leaning against an out-of-use carburetor and everything seems just so. To the sight you were content, because that meant you could get started on the mountain of tasks you had lined up, and you looked over the scene again, grabbing your gloves but faltering when you saw the flipphone that had been sitting beneath it. 

They had made such a point to take your phone, ensuring no outside contact.

So you look around the hangar again, yet, because of the time there is close to no one there, you even peek out the door into the darkness of the airfield. Yet again, nothing. 

You stare at the piece of technology for a moment and it then begins to buzz, but only twice, indicating you got a message- well not you, but the phone did.

Hesitantly you reach to grab it, flipping it open, being met with a simple message- 

Awaiting orders, prepared to receive? 

Another look around the hangar and you quickly type a response.

Yes.

(Comments and feedback make my day! Thank you for reading!)

[ayyy-pee]

𝐓𝐞𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader

Day 2: Face Fucking

Warnings: MDNI, Smut, Profanity bc who do you think I am, Pussy Eating, Face Riding, Face Fucking, DID NOT PROOFREAD SO SORRY FOR ERRORS LMFAO

Summary: Satoru puts his mouth to good use for once.

You may be over Satoru, but Satoru is not and will never be over you. 

❥ Gojo NSFW Week Twitter - AO3 Collection ❥

Discord 18+ - Twitter - JJK Masterlist

“Why are we doing this again?”

“Because I don’t wanna do the mission. If I win, you gotta do it for me.”

“Satoru…” You groan, exasperated. “Are you really that lazy?”

Your boyfriend grins up at you. “Not lazy, but taking care of a Grade 2 curse sounds like a fucking drag and honestly, it’s a waste of my time.” He folds his hands behind his head, yawning loudly. 

“This is such a stupid bet,” you grumble and Satoru laughs.

“You’re always so tense. Either way, you literally come out on top, so really I’m doing you a favor.”

You cock your head to the side in annoyance, folding your arms over your chest as you glare down at your boyfriend. You wish you could see his eyes through that stupid blindfold he’s always wearing. You’re sure they’re positively glowing with mirth.

Your mind replays the events of earlier today and how you’d ended up in such a compromising position. 

- - - - - -

It should have been a day like any other. You’d teach your classes, maybe take the students on a mission, let them do their thing. Then you’d find Satoru at the end of the day to go home together. But when you’d bumped into your boyfriend coming out of Principal Yaga’s office with a sour look on his face, jaw tight with irritation, you couldn’t help but stop in your tracks to ask what was wrong. 

Your mistake.

“How would you like to gain some experience and maybe earn points with Yaga for a promotion,” Satoru proposed after explaining the situation. His wide, toothy grin shone brightly as he awaited your answer, which came the moment he’d finished asking.

“No.”

“Babe, come onnnnnn,” he whines, grabbing your hands. “Please, it’s an easy mission!”

“Then you do it!”

“I don’t wannaaaaaa.”

“God, Satoru, why are you literally the strongest and laziest person I’ve ever known?” You roll your eyes, pulling your hands from his grip to place them on your hips. Satoru pouts, and you’re grateful you can’t see those baby blues or you may have given in right then. His eyes were his greatest strength when it came to you, and not because of the power he held in them.

“Oh, I’m the strongest lazy person, but Suguru literally quit because he didn’t wanna do missions,” he grumbles under his breath. He crosses his arms over his chest. Satoru stands there, staring you down until you think you can quite literally see the bulb ding above his head. “Okay okay, wait. I have an idea.”

Your eyes narrow, looking your boyfriend up and down suspiciously. You have no idea what he could be up to, but you’re curious, if not a little scared.

“It’s just a bet,” he says as if that’s going to make you feel better. He must see the look of concern on your face because he scrambles to keep talking. “It’s just something we were probably gonna do anyway, but now we can make it a little more exciting.” He holds both his hands up in the air, wiggling his fingers and giggling to himself as though he’s just said the most hilarious thing. 

You’re still waiting for the punchline.

“What is it…” You ask warily…and you regret it immediately when Satoru leans down and brushes his soft lips against the shell of your ear, whispering.

“Let’s make a bet. When we get home, I want you to sit on my face. If I can make you cum in ten minutes or less, you take the mission for me.”

A tingle races up your spine, a slow warmth uncurling low in your belly. You’ve never done that with Satoru before. The thought fills you with excitement. Your lips curl with a smirk and you whisper back, a challenge in your voice. “And if you can’t?”

“Then I guess I’ll do the mission, but something tells me I won’t have to worry about that.” He nips your earlobe, grinning when you yelp. You shove his shoulder, effectively pushing him back. You try to resist smiling when you realize he has his infinity off for you. He always has it off for you. Only you. Such a romantic.

You could always go home and fuck Satoru until the sun comes up like it’s a normal Tuesday night. Or, you could take him up on his offer…and make him suffer a little in the process.

Satoru closes the distance between you and loops his arms around your waist, pulling you into him. “So? Do we have a deal?”

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him close enough to whisper against his lips, “Take us home.”

It’s instant. Space and time bend violently around you and Satoru covers your eyes, holding you tightly against his chest as he warps you both home.

- - - - - -

Now here you are, naked and straddling Satoru’s chest, suddenly feeling very self-conscious about what’s to happen next. Your eyes dart down to Satoru’s phone on the bedside table, the big fat 10:00 timer blinking brightly on the screen. All you have to do is not let him win. You don’t want the mission anymore than he does and he needs to learn he can’t just dump all of his responsibilities on other people. 

Satoru clears his throat, pulling you from your straying thoughts. “As much as I’m absolutely loving the view from down here, we don’t have much time before one of us…” he points only to you, “...has to be on this mission.” You purse your lips, the uneasiness you just felt quickly dissipating. Satoru’s hands find purchase on your waist, gently squeezing. “Look, if you’re worried you’ll smother me to death –” 

“Tempting,” you interrupt, grinning with Satoru frowns.

“Anywayyyy, if you’re worried you’ll smother me to death, don’t worry about it. I’m the strongest.”

You stare blankly at him while he stares amusedly back at you. You’ve heard enough. You scoot forward, your bare cunt hovering over Satoru’s face for a moment before you effectively shut him up, dropping your core right on to his lips. A muffled yelp can be heard from deep between your thighs, Satoru shifting beneath you to try and get comfortable. 

“Clock starts now,” you sing, leaning over quickly to tap the timer on his phone to start. The seconds tick down rapidly, Satoru just as eager as he groans into your center. His hands wrap around your thighs, spreading them further apart for him. His tongue grazes your clit, swirling around the sensitive bud over and over.

You try to stay focused, try to stare straight ahead at the damn headboard because you don’t want to give Satoru the satisfaction of being able to brag that he won. But it just feels too damn good, the way he works his tongue through your folds, how he kneads the soft flesh of your thighs, how he groans into your cunt, clearly enjoying himself.

Satoru gives your pussy one long, broad lick and groans. Your eyes fluttering closed and your head falling back. You bite your lip just as his tongue thrusts between your folds, sucking, licking and biting. Your thighs shake as you struggle to keep your hips from slamming down into Satoru’s face but god it feels so fucking good.

Satoru has always been…gifted in the bedroom. There’s very little he’s not good at and it’s showing now as Satoru’s hands graze along your thighs, around to your ass where his nails dig into your ass cheeks. He pulls you forward, urging you to move.

You roll your hips forward when Satoru gives your ass one last smack. He sucks on your clit, humming as his lips wrap around the bundle of nerves and the sudden choked sob that leaves your lips catches you off guard. 

“Fuck! Satoru, right there. Don’t stop!” You moan, your fingers reaching down to tangle into your boyfriend’s hair. 

Satoru doesn’t stop. He does it again and again until you’re a panting mess atop of him. He grunts into your core, squeezing your ass before smacking it hard. A strangled cry rushes past your lips. Your thighs tremble on either side of Satoru’s head and he chuckles, smacking your other ass cheek and relishing in the way your legs shake again.

Your hips rock back and forth along his tongue, Satoru’s fingers digging into the meat of your ass to push and pull you along his face. He wants you to go faster, go harder, ride his face until you drown him in your cum.

God, he knows what the fuck he’s doing with that annoying mouth of his. You were an idiot for agreeing to his bet because you can already feel the heat pooling in your core as the band inside your belly threatens to snap at any moment.

Satoru’s loving this, you can tell by the needy groans and breathy whines escaping him as he buries himself as deep into your cunt as he can go. It’s so filthy, the way his tongue laps at your core, tasting and relishing every last drop you have to offer. 

You’re panting, leaning forward now to grip the headboard. Satoru stops suddenly, reaching up and pulling his blindfold off of his face to reveal his eyes. He knows exactly what that does to you, that you’ll fall apart in those beautiful orbs that hold all the power of the universe in them. Satoru looks just as beautiful between your thighs, snowy locks spread wildly, his mouth wet with your slick. He kisses your thighs, trailing soft touches all the way up to your center, leaving a gentle peck to your core. Satoru smirks when you roll your hips forward at the contact, then he trails soft kisses back down your other thigh. 

His hands squeeze your ass softly just as Satoru pushes his tongue between your folds again and runs his tongue flat up your core.

“So good, Satoru. Fuck, that’s so good.”

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, voice muffled as he buries his face in your cunt again, licking and sucking your clit while you’re grinding your own hips down on him, pace harder and faster than before. You nod, the only sounds heard being the hushed moans that grow gradually louder as you grind your hips down against Satoru’s face and the lewd slurping of Satoru’s mouth as he laps at your slick cunt.

With one hand, Satoru spreads one of your cheeks. With the other, he easily slips two fingers into your drenched cunt. “Shitttttt,” Satoru moans into your pussy when he feels your pussy clamp down on him. He curls his fingers sharply, smirking when he feels your thighs immediately begin to quiver around his head. You’re so close. There’s no way you’ll make it much longer. “Need your cum, baby. I wanna taste it. I need it.”

You don’t even get a chance to answer him. His fucking phone alarm blares on the table next to the bed, effectively stopping his actions and your orgasm. 

“Fuck.” You lean over and tap the phone, Satoru’s fingers idly pumping into you. You take your position with shit eating grin on your flushed face. “Guess I won –”

Satoru pulls you back to sit on his face, tongue darting out to lap at your soaked pussy.

“Don’t give a fuck about the bet. Need to make you cum,” he mutters into your core, pumping his fingers in and out of your cunt. Your mouth falls open with a silent moan as Satoru wastes no time bringing you to the most earth shattering release of your life.

[qqueenofhades]

I just read an article on The Conversation that states: "Today, most data has Trump narrowly beating Biden in the national popular vote, albeit within the statistical margin of error." (Source for that data: https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/polls/president-general/)

In your opinion, is that true? How can that be possible after everything Trump has done? After the Insurrection? I'm terrified ���

(For reference, the original article can be found at https://theconversation.com/five-reasons-why-trumps-republican-opponents-were-never-going-to-beat-him-223288?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=The%20Weekend%20Conversation%20-%202888329325&utm_content=The%20Weekend%20Conversation%20-%202888329325+CID_fceedfd21410eb8a7b6fd6e1124d9d54&utm_source=campaign_monitor_uk&utm_term=five%20reasons)

Short answer: no, I don't think it's true.

Long answer: no, I really don't think it's true. Here's why.

Broader context. A Republican has won the popular presidential vote only twice in the 21st century, and in the first of those occasions -- 2000 -- I use "won" very advisedly. We all know, or at least we should, about all the fuckery that went down in Florida with Bush vs. Gore and SCOTUS stepping in to stop the recount (which almost surely would have gone to Gore) and handing Florida, and thus the presidency, to George Dubya Bush by a mere 537 votes. Dubya then did win re-election and the popular vote/EC in 2004, in the throes of patriotic war fervor and the GOP's Swiftboating of John Kerry (who was a pretty terrible candidate to start with). Other than that? None. Zip. Nada. None. Even in 2016 when Trump squeaked out a win (and thus the presidency) in the Electoral College, he lost nationwide to HRC by over 3 million votes. He lost to Biden by 7 million votes nationwide last time. Also, the reason the GOP loves the antidemocratic Electoral College is that it always works in their favor, and because red states with relatively scant population are given the same power in the Senate. That's why California, with 40+ million people, gets two (Democratic) senators, and Wyoming, with 400,000 people, gets two (Republican) senators. There is just no way that red states can get the actual raw numbers to win the popular vote against heavily blue urban population centers. The only one that comes close is Texas, and while it's something of a white whale for Democrats who think fondly that it'll surely turn blue this election cycle (and then it doesn't), it's not giving all its votes popular-vote-wise to Republicans. So yeah. The numbers aren't there. Biden is about 99% certain to win the popular vote, but because this is America, the question is whether the EC will follow.

(Although, I gotta say. In the deeply unlikely event that Biden loses the popular vote but wins the Electoral College -- i.e. the exact same thing Trump did in 2016 -- the right wing would lose their fucking minds and it would be incredibly hilarious. Also, we might finally get some red states willing to sign up to the National Popular Vote Compact, which is just a few ratifications away from going into effect. As noted, the Republicans will cling onto the Electoral College with their last dying breath because it's the only thing that makes them competitive in nationwide elections. If it fucked Trump, they might finally listen to ideas about changing it.)

The media are incredibly biased, and so is Nate Silver. Silver first rose to prominence as an independent geeky Data Guy elections whiz-kid, and was relatively good at being unbiased. That is not the case anymore. He's now affiliated with the New York Times and has started echoing the smugly anti-Biden framework of both that paper and the mainstream media in general. I'm not necessarily saying his data is total bunk, but he's extremely eager to frame, narrate, and explain it in ways that artificially disadvantage Biden (in the same way the NYT itself is all in on "BUT HIS AGEEEEE," just as they were with "BUT HER EEEEEEMAILS" in 2016) And that's a problem, because:

The polls are shit. Like, really, really shit. Didn't we just go through this in 2022, where everyone howled about how All The Data pointed to a Red Wave and then were /shocked pikachu face when this was nothing more than a Red Dribble of Piss (and frankly, the best midterm election result for the ruling party since like, the 1930s?) We've also had major, real-time proof that the polls are showing a consistent pro-Trump bias of 10 or more points, which is a huge error and keeps getting corrected whenever people actually vote, but the media will never admit that, because TRUMP IS WINNING WE ARE ALL DOOMZED!! We heard about how Biden might lose New Hampshire because he wasn't even on the ballot and that would be a critical embarrassment for him. He cruised easily with 68% (all write-in votes and FAR more than any other Democratic "candidate.") Meanwhile, Trump won New Hampshire by about 15% under what the polls had predicted for him (after doing the same and barely squeaking over 50% in Iowa, one of the whitest, most rural, most Trump-loving states in the nation). The number ballparked for Biden in the NV Democratic primary was something like 75%; he got over 90% (and twice as many votes as any candidate in the Republican Primary/Caucus/Whatever That Mess Was). The number for what he was supposed to get in the SC primary was in the high 60% (driven by the media's other favorite "Black voters are abandoning Biden" canard); he absolutely crushed it at 97% statewide. When Biden is winning by whopping margins and Trump is underperforming badly, in both cases by gaps of ten percent or more, it means the polls are simply not showing us an accurate state of the race. This could be because of media bias, bad data, selective polling, inability to actually connect with voters (especially young voters, who are about as likely to eat a live scorpion as to pick up an unsolicited phone call from an unknown number). This also shows up in:

Special elections. We've heard tons of Very Smart Punditry (derogatory) about how Democrats kicking ass in pretty much every competitive election since Roe was overturned in 2022 totally means nothing for the general election. (Of course, if the situation was reversed and Republicans were cleaning up at the same rate, we would be hearing nothing except how we're all destined for Eternal Trumpocracy... wait. no... we're still only hearing this. Weird.) In the last special election in early February, Democrat Tom Suozzi won back his old U.S House seat (NY-03) by over eight points, after polls had given him at most a two- or three-point edge. (Funnily, once again a Democrat did far better than the media is determined to insist, so Politico hilariously called a thumping eight-point win "edging it out.") This represents almost a 16-point blue swing from even just 2022, when The Congressman Possibly Known as George Santos won it by 7 points. On that same night, a Democratic candidate in a Trump +26 district in deep, deep red Oklahoma only lost by 5 points, marking another massive pro-blue swing. This has been the case in every special election since Roe went down. Apparently blah blah This Won't Translate to the General Election, because the media is very smart. Even when Democrats (historically hard to motivate and muster in off-year election cycles, or you know in general) are turning up in elections that don't involve Trump to punish terrible Trumpist policies, we're supposed to think they won't be motivated to actually vote against the guy himself? And not just them, because:

Trump is a terrible candidate. Which we know, and have always known, but now it's really true. We've had up to half of Haley voters stating they will vote for Biden over Trump if that is the November matchup (which it will be). Haley, amusingly, actually outraised Trump in January, because it turns out that the Trump Crime Family's open promise to send every single donor or RNC dollar to pay El Trumpo's legal fees hasn't been a terribly effective message. We had Republicans in NY-03 telling CNN that they voted for the Democrat Suozzi because they're so fed up with the GOP clown show in the House and don't think Republicans can govern (which uh. Yeah. Welcome to reality, we all knew that ages ago too). We have had up to a third of Republican voters saying they won't vote for Trump if he's convicted of a felony before the election (and technically he already has been, but we're still hoping for the January 6 trial to go ahead). Now, yes, Republicans are a notoriously cliquey bunch and might change their minds, but for all the endless bullshit BIDEN SHOULD STEP DOWN BECAUSE DEMOCRATS ARE DISUNITED narrative the media has been pushing like their kidnapped grandmothers' lives depend on it, Democrats aren't actually disunited at all. Instead, Trump is in chaos, the GOP is in chaos, sizeable chunks of Republican voters are ready to vote for someone else and in some cases have already done so, and yet, do we hear a peep about how Trump should step down? Nah. In related news, did you hear that Biden is old?!?! Why isn't anyone writing about this?!?!

Now, I want to make it clear: Trump's chances of winning are not zero, and they are not inconsiderable. We need to face that fact and deal with it accordingly. Large chunks of the country are still willing to vote for white Christian nationalist fascism. Trump still has plenty of diehard cultists and the entire establishment Republican party in his pocket, and it's been made very clear that Putin is bringing the full force of his malevolent Russian fascist machine to bear on this election as well. Case in point: we spent four years hearing about HUNTER BIDEN HUNTER BIDEN SECRET CORRUPTION GIANT SECRET BUSINESS SCANDAL, and it turns out that the GOP's "star informant" has been actively working with Russian spies the whole time and fed them complete bullshit disinformation, which they were eager to repeat so long as it might hurt Joe Biden. (And it would hurt Ukraine, so, twofer! I cannot emphasize enough how much it was all a deliberate collaboration by some of the worst people on earth.)

In 2016, people naively assumed that Trump could never win, and so they were especially willing to throw away, spoil, or otherwise not exercise their vote, or throw purity hissy fits over HRC (likewise fed at the toxic teat of Russian disinformation). That was exactly what allowed Trump to squeak out a win in the EC and put us in the mess we are currently in. If people act in the same way in 2024 that they did in 2016, Trump's chances of winning are drastically increased. So once again, as I keep saying, it's up to us. If we all vote blue, and we get our networks to vote blue, Biden is very likely to win. If we don't, he won't, and Trump will win. It's that simple. We had better decide what we're doing. The end.

[goliath-de-senfina-sango]

Danny Phantom and the Riordanverse

I have some thoughts about a Shared World kind of crossover between Danny Phantom and Percy Jackson & the Olympians. I haven’t done a full rewatch of DP in ages, nor have a read outside the core 5 PJO books, the HOO books, the Kane Chronicles, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, and about 2 and a half of the Trials of Apollo books, also been a while. Apologies for any inaccuracies but hey, fanon.

A Glitch In Time canonizes that the Infinite Realms and Material World were once one and the same, but a global war - waged by people who were naturally half ghost the way Danny and Vlad are - split the world in 2. All things regarding Pariah Dark, I’d say he was one of the major powers in this war.

Realms can range from a 10x10x10 room to entire islands with their own celestial bodies like Dora’s kingdom and its sun. Technically we don’t know if the Far Frozen even has an End Point. Doors can lead to alternate timelines; Desiree, Ghost Writer and Clockwork are all able to warp reality, time included, and the Observant Council perceive time in at least 2 dimensions.

In the Riordanverse it is revealed in the few books of the Trials of Apollo that I read and remember that mortal belief from even a relatively small cult can elevate a mortal man to immortal status a la monsters and Gods. Apollo even muses about the way the Gods don’t want to acknowledge how dependent on mortals remembering them they are.

All of this considered, if you want DP to exist in the Riodanverse and even keep the lore of both, then the Realms/Planes/Worlds of the Gods - of Hellas, Kemet, the Æsir and Vanir, the Heavenly Beauracracy, etcetera - are Realms connected to the Spirit World but managed to remain intersected with the Material World through the efforts of the Gods and the memories of Mortals.

The Duat could even be a layer of the Infinite Realms, frankly.

Danny states that his accident was a month ago as of Episode 1, Mystery Meat, which is set April 3rd, 2004. Based on the few concrete date indicators we get in Danny Phantom, the series takes place over 3 years. 4 if you count Claw of the Wild, but that means the trio stays Tiny all the way into Senior Year lol.

Prisoners of Love begins on May 18th, Fright Knight is a Halloween episode, and in Lucky in Love, they’re at a waterpark, which only open in May at the earliest. The Fright Before Christmas is obviously set before and during Christmas and then Reality Trip is set at the beginning of Summer 2006.

In Urban Jungle, Tucker remarks that it’s 90 degrees outside, which means it’s either late May or early June since I do believe they Are in school at that point and iirc global warming hadn’t made it 90 in the midwest early in 2006. Claw of the Wild is an odd camping episode featuring Danny’s class, and I forget in episode details so if this was during school time it had to be during the spring since, again, they live relatively close to the Great Lakes, so it’s gotta be during a naturally warm time. A Glitch In Time, therefore, is set in late spring or early summer of 2008.

Percy Jackson is 12 at the beginning of The Lightning Thief & 13 at the end Iirc since his birthday is August 12th. Either way, this is in 2005. Sea of Monsters and Titan’s Curse are both set during 2006; Battle of the Labyrinth is in 2007, and iirc The Last Olympian is set next year during 2008 and Percy is 16.

Thereby when the Heroes of Olympus books begin in 2008-2009, Danny is 18 and either a senior or highschool graduate. This is a hilarious point in time for Percy to meet Danny, actually, or any of our protagonist crew, if you want to maintain canon for both.

I know most people don’t, in fact, care to keep up DP canon nearly this rigidly, so some other fun thoughts.

In Reality Trip, Freakshow acquires the Reality Gauntlet, and begins the summer (as this begins on a last day of school event I’d say probably even on the Solstice) of 2006 with a reality warping bang. Once he gets the gems, Freakshow transforms the whole world into his circus, until Danny tricks him and gets the glove back, fixing reality to exactly how it was before the change, wiping his identity from the memories of everyone save Tuck, Sam, & Jazz, and then destroyed the Reality Gauntlet in a single shot.

This, I imagine, would grab the attention of The Gods. That’s if the Pariah Dark situation didn’t register to them, even. Considering Percy is 13 at the time and due to deal with the Sea of Monsters situation, the Kane siblings haven’t been recruited yet (I think) and Magnus is still just a homeless kid in Boston, I dunno if anyone from New Rome would be sent but the Gods of various pantheons may investigate directly or through minor gods/spirits.

The House of Life certainly wouldn’t approve of the Ghost Portals, Vlad, or possibly even Danny. Hell, Luke might actually be sent to recruit Danny or Vlad to the Titan’s cause now that I think about it.

With the fact that Danny, Vlad, and Dan were destroying other timelines while smashing into them from sheer speed through the Spirit World during A Glitch In Time, I’d say Danny is at least a 6D being (existing in at least 4 dimensions of space and 2 of time.) If that doesn’t count him as a God, idk what would. Also during Infinite Realms, Vlad and Danny time travel to both ancient Rome during an event in the colosseum and ancient China at a monetary. If these are the same universe as Danny’s, then he and Vlad should have a myth or two regarding one another, which would also put them on the watch list for Olympus and the Bureaucracy of Heaven.

But hey, what do you think? I’m open to talk about this and wanna hear other people’s thoughts and opinions.

[joels-shitty-puns]

Kings & Queens

Pairing: Post-Outbreak!Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: I saw a list of reverse writing tropes, one of which was "too many beds" which I thought was hilarious until my brain went crazy. So here's where my mind went when there are oddly... too many beds.

Word Count: ~900

Warnings: None! This could even be read as platonic.

Other stuff: No descriptors. It can be romantic or friendly. Choose your adventure.

To those of you who are reading this: Thank you! I know I haven't written in months. I have barely even been on here. I want that again, but mentally I just haven't been feeling like much of anything lately. That being said, I saw the trope and I had an idea and quickly scribbled this down. It is short, not my best work, and doesn't have much emotion, but I did it :) To those of you who might also be struggling, I see you! You'll get through this. I hope all my tumblr buddies are doing well. I miss you guys.

_________________________________

It had been nearly a year of patrols with Joel. A year of nasty buildings and hard rocky floors to take shelter for the night, a year of either taking turns on watch, or being stuck sharing the same sleeping bag. Or the same mattress. Your only reprieve was your nice bed in Jackson, which you knew was safe, and warm, and most importantly… yours.

Joel was… alright. You two were friendly at best. But for the most part, it was all business. He didn't like to talk much, and you became tired of receiving looks or grunts when asking about Ellie, or Tommy, or his former life. But you worked well together, you made a good team, and you trusted each other to stay safe. You had run into trouble before, and you always had each other's backs. Words were often left unsaid, but you both knew what you meant to the other.

So when you stumbled upon an abandoned shopping mall while scoping potential areas of left-behind goods, it was a breath of fresh air. Malls could be dangerous with so much ground to cover, and so many potential hiding places and dark corners for the cordyceps to fester.

But the mall could also be a light at the end of the tunnel. A plethora of abandoned items to loot and sell or keep for yourself.

After hours of digging through every nook and cranny, you managed to fill a couple of bags full of items, and planned to make it a regular stop on your raids. But as the time grew later, the long-broken clock didn't tick on, and the windows grew dim, you knew it would be an overnight stay. However, choosing a sleeping spot was becoming exhausting with Joel around.

“I saw a sporting goods store. They probably have some sleeping bags, or maybe even a tent,” you provided.

“Nah, we're indoors. I wanna sleep like I'm indoors,” gruffed Joel.

“Oookay. How about that old food place? I think I saw a conveyer belt in the kitchen, next to the oven! It looks like it was used to make pizza,” you chirped excitedly. “I bet we could set up some blankets and make it like a bed.”

“Look, I know that machinery and oven have been dead for years, but on the off chance there's some malfunction, that just seems like a Final Destination event waitin’ to happen,” Joel shook his head.

“Wow you're difficult..” you huffed. “What if we go into the old children's photography studio and make a fort! The walls are even painted to look like a sky,” you offered with doe-eyes.

Joel just looked at you before grumbling back a “no. My back would kill me. There's gotta be a bed in here somewhere.”

Upon finding an old, faded mall map, Joel studied it before picking up the pace with a clear destination in mind.

He came to a stop in front of “Royal Mattressty.”

You raised a brow before saying “royal… mattress-tea?? What?”

“It's a play on words. Royal majesty.” 

“That's the stupidest thing I ever heard,” you rolled your eyes.

“No, no, it's because mattresses come in Kings, Queens, and-” he broke off at your grimace.

“You're such a dad!” 

____

The two of you made your way inside, only to find nearly 100 beds. Memory foam, spring, water, reclining… the possibilities were endless.

“WOW!” You squealed, running from bed to bed. “There's too many beds. I can't choose!”

Joel stretched, moving to a bed near the back corner. “I'm gonna set up here for the night. Sleep where y’want,” he gestured.

Sitting on a few different beds, you finally settled on one. A perfect, firm yet soft bed at the far end of the store. It was against a wall, allowing you to still see the door and keep your back safe. Perfect.

____

But as the night ticked on, you tossed and turned. You weren't at your home in Jackson. This bed was nice… but it wasn't your safe, cozy cabin.

When you aren't home, you're with Joel. All this time you've been wanting space at night, but now you feel scared and alone. Even a bit cold. But Joel was over on his own bed, probably sound asleep. You wouldn't dare take that away from him.

___

Until what felt like an hour passed.

___

And then another hour…

___

Finally, it had been about an hour and a half when you gave in. You wouldn't be getting any sleep at this rate. Fatigue is a dangerous fate when you need to be alert in this world. So you swallowed your pride and walked over to Joel's bed in the far end of the store.

But he wasn't there…

You wandered back, a bit nervous, until you spotted him. Curled up on a mattress only a row away from yours, you saw him blink in the night.

“You moved beds?” you whispered.

“Yeah, there was a draft over there…”

“A draft? In a mall with no electricity and no windows in this store?” You asked skeptically.

“Mmhm…” he grunted, sleepily.

“Sure. Well… turns out there was a draft over in my corner too. Move over,” you nudged.

“Draft, huh?” He wiggled over, letting you in the bed.

“Mmhm…” you mimicked his earlier grunt, settling in next to him.

“Good night Joel,” you whispered.

“G’night,” he replied, pressing his body closer to yours in the king sized bed.

Maybe there is such a thing as too many beds after all.

__________

Thanks for reading!!! Let me know what you think, and be sure to check out my masterlist for more. Reblogs are appreciated! Xoxo

[luna-rainbow]

Thanks for your answer for the last ask.

What is wrong with the writers of the new MCU material? Do they just hate Bucky, especially the writer of the Falcon and the Winter Soldier (he's NOT the Winter Soldier anymore!)? Did Bucky kick their cat or something? This hatred and victim blaming is not justified! "Oh Bucky's just a cray-cray psycho killing machine with cool metal arm but probably belongs in a padded cell. Lol he says he had no choice such a lame excuse..."

Soo…I don’t know if people still remember the rumours from back in 2021 and I don’t know how much of it is true, but my guess at it is this: there were supposed to be two main writers on the series. Spellman was supposed to take Sam’s story, while the other guy wrote Bucky’s story. For whatever reason, the other guy quit before he finished, and didn’t give the writing team enough time to put things together.

From a story craft point of view, Bucky’s story in TFATWS reeks of first-draft-ism. It’s a scattered plot of events that don’t quite string together, and a self-contradictory characterisation that hasn’t yet been smoothed over (but was made a little more believable by Sebastian’s efforts). You can tell some central character themes had been planted in the first draft — the PTSD, the guilt, the messy way he’s trying to relearn how to interact with people (Yori, Sam and later the Wakandans), the struggle with breaking free of his past. These were all strong, interesting character beats for Bucky to work through, and it honestly could have been a good story. And I think that’s when the original writer bailed.

When Spellman picked up this draft, he was pressed for time, he hadn’t watched CATWS and he never thought he’d needed to know about Bucky’s story, so he reads TheMovieSpoiler summary of the movie and tries to piece the rest of the story together. But Bucky’s not his priority nor his interest. There’s already beats of the story that were planned and have to be there for IP reasons. So beyond what was already in the first draft as mentioned above, Bucky is made to be the fall guy to make the rest of the plot happen. Zemo’s release — well we can’t make Sam help break out the criminal that killed an African king so we’ll make Bucky do it, who cares if it makes no sense for his character. The counselling session — the show’s few moments of levity, doesn’t matter that it makes no sense but hey, forced homoeroticism is hilarious, isn’t it? The Wakandan three-way fight — I may be remembering this wrong but I think Skogland said it was one of the first scenes that she had planned for. That fight had to happen, and again Bucky was made to provoke the Wakandans to the point Seb had to step in and say, almost literally, “he would not fucking say that” to make them wind back the animosity between Bucky and Ayo. Sam’s suit — oh no we can’t have Sam asking for it himself that would be too egocentric, we also can’t have Wakandans offering because well, not like the plot actually made Sam a strong ally for Wakanda, so we get Bucky asking for Sam’s suit to be made minutes after he fixes his mistake of releasing Zemo. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense if it’s Bucky doing it, cos I really think by this stage Spellman didn’t give a shit about a character that wasn’t supposed to be his responsibility in the first place. It’s like when you’re doing group project and your teammate bails on you, you’re gonna do just enough to get that pass but you ain’t putting in the effort for a distinction cos just looking at the unfinished work is pissing you off. So then Bucky also becomes the token white male who pushes all the wrong buttons during the few token racism scenes cos we gotta make Walker have some redeemable qualities and he’s already a dick so we can’t make him racist too.

So instead of having a thoughtful story about a veteran trying to grapple with his guilt and PTSD and lack of agency and making some mistakes along the way, you get a weird disjointed plot of some guy…with some bad dreams…who randomly does things for no good personal reason…who gets made the butt of the joke for the stuff he’s experienced cos he’s got a metal arm and super soldier serum how hard could it have been he just needs to go and apologise for killing people while simultaneously having multiple poignant scenes portraying his lack of agency.

Every writer who tells you “a hero is only as interesting as the villain” just secretly wants to write a simpable villain. And when that writer isn’t very skilled, you get the disaster of TFATWS where a lot of effort is spent on making Zemo funny and personable, and Walker nuanced and sympathetic, instead of making either of the titular heroes funny or personable or nuanced or sympathetic. And yeah, I really don’t think Spellman ever cared enough about Bucky to want to make him sympathetic…or a hero. Remember when he said Bucky pulling open the van door was the first time Bucky has ever been a hero? Fuck right off with that.

[anothertimdrakestan]

Damian x reader where she is having a bad day and he comforts her! A lot of kisses and cuddles and Damian being a low key flirt! Please and thank u!

Promise - Damian Wayne x Reader

"Y/N! you will never believe what Penguin tried today at the charity luncheon! Amid the chicken fingers too! It was quite a hilarious event and- oh. Oh shit. What's wrong?" the hero had easily flitted through your window like a leaf on the cold breeze- a chill which had been blowing into your room for almost two, frozen hours.

"Hey Dames. I'm fine, what happened with Penguin?" you muttered, pushing hair behind your ear to look up at the shocked man in front of you. You quickly wiped away at running mascara, frustrated you even let your emotions get the better of you tonight.

Damian didn't reply, instead he firmly shut your window behind him with one hand, his eyes not leaving your curled figure buried in a corner of your bed. Next he backed up to your closet, continuing to analyze your every move while he changed out of his Batman suit, a new suit that was truly meant for him, into sweats you kept for him a one of your drawers.

You felt the bed dip and Damian was sat at the edge staring at you as if you were going to get up and run away.

You were still curled in a ball, knees to your chest and head resting on your arms as you grumbled, "I asked what happened with Penguin" and Damian gave you a slight frown, "what happened with you?"

"Rude"

"You've been crying"

"Have not"

"So pretty even when lying to me" he mumbled, sliding into place next to you, draping a long arm around you to pull you into his chest. You huffed in response, but it was more an excuse to inhale the smell of dry cedar, vanilla, and just a hint of sweat- overwhelmingly perfect (for my connoisseurs I'm talking ORMAIE Toï Toï Toï).

Giving into your silence he pulled out his phone, pulling up footage clearly from the day's events. You watched Penguin try to steal a highly expensive painting being auctioned, but before he could get away, Damian was bounding towards the thief, using Penguin's own henchmen's heads as stepping stones. They fell almost like bowling pins as your hero flipped and spun through the air, Penguin kept trying to shoot at the blur but Damian just had the villain spinning in circles until he too collapsed without Damian even having to lift a finger.

"Dick would be soooo proud" you giggled leaning your head up to look at Damian who was grinning proudly at the film himself.

"There's that smile. And yeah, I already sent it to him! He says he's gonna try the same move next week." Damian mused, tucking the phone back into his pocket, his arm still draped around you as he mindlessly tapped his fingers on your side.

You realized he wasn't going to drop it so you broke the silence, "I just had a bad day Dames, nothing to it, it happens."

"You know I would literally kill anyone who hurt yo-"

"I know Dames, I know. But this wasn't really anyones fault, I just get in my own head sometimes." you huffed, actually relaxing after getting the thoughts off your chest.

He tapped your skill with a frown, "well, then let the people in there know I'm coming for them next."

"You're coming for my thoughts?" you snorted.

"If that's what is takes to make you happy, I'll call Zatanna we can magic school bus this shit or something-" Damian was joking, but you appreciated the sentiment.

"Sometimes you've just gotta be a little sad D, I'll be okay,"

"Promise?"

"With you by my side? I could never be upset for long, I promise."

"That's what I like to hear!"

"I could totally use some pizza though, you know, to cure me"

"For you, Beloved, the world" your hero responded, pulling out his phone to order your favorites, clearly excited just to spend time with you. Seriously though, with him around it was impossible to be upset for long.

"You know I love you, Damian Wayne."

"I sure hope so, no other heroes better be coming through your window at night!" he teased back, pressing a kiss to your forehead while you shook your head with a laugh, feeling the pressure and weight get lifted off your shoulders already.

~

Short but sweet, ty for the request!! <3

[demiaroacejadeharley]

The Amazing Digital Circus Episode 2 Review

Warning: This post contains spoilers for the second episode of The Amazing Digital Circus. If you haven't seen the episode, please skip this post and watch the episode before reading this post.

This post also contains critical commentary about Vivziepop. If you're a Vivziepop stan, please do not interact with me. Critical fans and antis are welcome to interact. Reblogs on this post are turned off to prevent Vivziepop stans from interacting with me.

If you're a Vivziepop stan and try to interact with me by sending a PM or tagging me in a post, you'll be instantly blocked. Any asks sent by Vivziepop stans will be deleted.

I didn't find out that TADC had another episode out until Saturday night while I was preparing for my morning shift at work. I decided to watch the new episode before bed and wasn't disappointed at what I watched.

The episode starts with Pomni having a nightmare before Ragatha woke her up. Poor girl can't catch a break after what she went through in the first episode.

And now, for the main event of the episode. Caine assigned the crew to a mission to return the maple syrup that was stolen for a candy kingdom by a small group of gummy gator bandits. I also got some nostalgia feels for the episode as I grew up watching Adventure Time, and the candy themed kingdom reminded me of the Candy Kingdom from Adventure Time.

The chase scene was extremely hilarious, and I felt bad that poor Pomni had to try to keep the bandits from going away. If only Jax actually did something instead of antagonizing her. Gotta say that Jax is one lovable prick.

It made me sad that after Pomni and Gummigoo had their little bonding moment, Caine was like, "nope" and Thanos'd Gummigoo from entering the circus. But after that episode, I wonder what Gooseworx has planned for Caine. Will he end up being the big bad guy in the show? His role is to be some sort of ringleader, after all. I'm looking forward to the future episodes to come.

To end my thoughts about the new episode, I did like that the ending shows Pomni slowly starting to get comfortable with the others. I know Gooseworx said that she doesn't plan on shipping the characters, but maybe she might reconsider it with Pomni and Ragatha. But either or is fine. Gooseworx has the right to do whatever she wants with the show.

I've also mentioned at the very beginning of the post that I will add some critical commentary about Vivziepop. So I might as well address everything now.

I believe I've said this in my post about my thoughts on the first episode about The Amazing Digital Circus, which is that Gooseworx doesn't rely heavily on excess amount of swearing to make her content funny. I still got a good laugh out of watching the new episode. I also like how Gooseworx hired indie voice actors for the show, and it shows that you don't need voice actors who have been in the industry for years to get people to consume your work. Also, last time I checked, the new episode got over 30 million views on YouTube.

Another thing is that I really like how the characters are designed. I'm curious if there is any significance for the roles the TADC crew will play during the future of the show. For example, Pomni is in a Jester outfit, and I'm curious how it will affect her role in the show. And it's obvious that Caine, being the ringleader of the crew, by having him wear a suit and top hat to show that. Meanwhile, Vivziepop seems to rehash similar character designs for the rest of her characters, which, in my opinion, makes her characters look dull looking. Viv has the potential to create really well designed characters as shown with her past work. And I wish she could improve that in the future.

Lastly, the writing. I know The Amazing Digital Circus only has two episodes, but the writing is far better than Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss combined. The Amazing Digital Circus stays consistent to the plot by showing the crew going to various parts of the universe they're in to complete their missions. I will admit that the plot of Hazbin Hotel is somewhat consistent as it shows Charlie trying to redeem sinners on top of the threat of Heaven. My biggest concern with Hazbin is that whenever Season two comes around, I'm worried that Vivziepop will sideline Charlie's mission to redeem sinners and help maintain the population of hell to either filler episodes or deter the main plot by focusing heavily on heaven or things that are not significant to the plot of Hazbin Hotel.

And then there's Helluva Boss. The show was promoted being about a group of imp mercenaries doing kill jobs. It wasn't until Viv decided it would be a "brilliant" to show that the main plot aside to focus on Stolas and Blitzo's "relationship" (even though I don't consider that a relationship due to how predatory Stolas is towards Blitz and something similar to Angel Dust and Valentino).

To close this post, I would like to say that The Amazing Digital Circus is what both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss could be, despite TADC only having two episodes. If Vivziepop hired indie voice actors, worked more on her character designs, rethink how she writes both Hazbin and Helluva Boss, and works on giving her female characters the character development they deserve, then maybe I'll rewatch them in the future. However, the problem is that Viv doesn't really handle criticism well and relies on her fans to protect her. She's a grown woman, and she doesn't need other people to fight her own battles. If she can't handle that as a content creator, then maybe she should either step down from her position as the lead of HH and HB or consider taking a hiatus and have her work on herself.

But anyways, that's was I gotta say. The second episode of TADC was a fun watch, and I'm looking forward to what Gooseworx has in store for her viewers.

[dominimoonbeam]

The Truth in Your Skin - 14

ANGST! Okay, so we're adding some body image moments to the tags here and a sexual harassment tag. I feeeeel like you're all well and truly buckled up for the threat of danger and angst in this fic because of the Quinn past (and possible future, who knows, I'm dramatic like that) but this isn't Quinn or Darlin, so we're adding a new tag!! <3 <3

Thanks for getting this far. Hope you enjoy the fic! <3 From the start over on ao3.

Darlin/David, Milo/Sweetheart, Asher/Huxley

chapter tags: sexual harassment, body image issues, violence, communication issues, avoidance, doubt, hurt/comfort

The Truth in Your Skin - 14

“So… You’re apartment hunting?” Asher asked.

Milo nodded, sprawled out in Asher’s chair and scrolling on his phone. “It makes sense.”

Asher raised a pierced eyebrow and leaned against the wall. “Right… Because you’re a couple.”

Milo raspberried but didn’t take his eyes off his phone. “No, because we’re great friends and even better roommates. You should see these listings they were looking at. No fucking way they’re moving in with some stranger. Do you know how many creeps there are out there?”

Asher laughed. “So, the logical step, is to get a bigger apartment so that the two of you can be… roommates?”

Milo nodded at his phone.

The back door thumped shut and David walked in. “What’s going on?” he asked automatically as he started setting up the shop.

Asher waved a hand at Milo. “Looks like the idiots are officially moving in together… as roommates.”

David glanced over at Milo and then huffed a laugh. “Sounds about right. When are you two going to get a pet?”

Milo sat up, seeming to just then realize David was there. “We were looking at cats the other day.”

Asher laughed and David tried not to.

Milo frowned. “What?”

They laughed harder.

Milo rolled his eyes. “Fuck you guys. Are we still going to that out of town game this weekend?”

Asher nodded. “Yeah. Road trip!” His smile got sly. “You and Sweets sharing a hotel room?”

Milo wrinkled his nose. “Of course. Why would we pay for two? That’s stupid.”

“Yeah… you two are all about frugality,” David agreed in a mumble.

The front door chimed.

“That’s probably my one o’clock.” Asher shooed Milo out of his chair on his way to the front. He was still smiling when he stepped out to the front desk and saw the vaguely familiar face waiting for him. One of Huxley’s teammates had called about getting a piece done and set up the appointment.

After handshakes and niceties, he led him back.

Milo was gone, probably off to pick out curtains with Sweetheart. God, they were hilarious. He wasn’t sure he’d ever known any couple more fucking coupley than those two.

“Nice place,” the client, Colt, said.

David turned the music on on his way to the front with a stack of paperwork in hand.

“Thanks,” Asher said, gesturing him to have a seat and pulling out the sketch they’d talked about. It wasn’t a big piece.

Colt clapped his hands. “I’m getting the VIP treatment right? The Huxley special?”

Asher laughed and shrugged. “Sure.” He put his gloves on and told the guy to drop his jeans. He wanted to tattoo on his thigh, after all. He was already shaved, so it was just a matter of disinfecting the area before putting the stencil down. “You’ve got other tattoos right?”

“Oh yeah.” Colt nodded, pushing a sleeve up to show ink from wrist to elbow.

“Good, then this shouldn’t be any surprise.” Asher smiled and prepped the needle. He had a couple more clients today and then he was meeting up with Hux for dinner.

He settled into a good position and then gave the guy one last look. “You’re good?”

A thumbs up and a big grin.

Asher started the needle. “So how long have you and Hux played together?” he asked, starting the linework. Not everyone liked to talk while they got work done but Asher was great at rolling out questions if they liked the distraction.

“Years,” Colt said. “I gotta say, I was real fucking surprised when he started bringing you to events.”

Asher didn’t look up from his work. “Yeah? Why?”

Colt snorted. “I mean, you don’t exactly look like most of the puck bunnies, you know? And Hux has never brought a date. We were all starting to think he was like, not into anything, you know? Turns out he’s just into weird.”

Asher stopped, suddenly feeling heat rush his face. Weird?

Colt laughed. “But who’s not into weird sometimes, right?”

Before Asher could even start to unpack what this guy was saying, a big hand slid over the back of his head.

Asher shot to his feet, knocking the hand off of him.

Colt stared up at him, looking so honestly confused and smiley that Asher thought he might have hallucinated this conversation. And then he noticed the very obvious erection bulging the front of Colt’s boxer briefs.

Asher frowned. “Do you need a minute?”

“Oh, I’ll last more than a minute…”

“Dude, you see that I’m holding a needle, right?” Asher held it up.

Colt grinned. “Yeah. I figure, you mark me and then I’ll mark you. Like with Huxley.”

Asher felt like his brain was rebooting too slowly. What the actual fuck was happening right now?

It wasn’t like he hadn’t had clients flirt with him before. But this was…

His heart pounded in his throat but he just stood there, caught between work and whatever the hell this guy was saying to him. Did Huxley think that? Had he said that? No. No fucking way.

And then, before he could finish that brain reboot, David came out of fucking nowhere.

Colt’s surprise was worse than Asher’s, because David grabbed him by the front of the shirt and hauled him up out of the chair, his jeans still around his ankles and two lines of a tattoo on his thigh.

Asher flicked the needle off, still stunned, but listened to the guy shouting and laughing and trying to calm David on that awkward drag to the front door.

The bell chimed and David threw the other big guy right out onto the street. His voice was so low that Asher couldn’t catch the words, but there was definitely a threat there. And then the door closed with another snap of the bell and the locks slid into place.

Asher felt like his face was on fire. He hurried to move before David came back, starting the process of cleaning up his station just like he had a thousand times before.

“Who was that?” David asked.

Asher shook his head and shrugged.

David caught his arm to make him stand upright and stop trying to clean up. He put one big hand against the side of Asher’s neck and made him look back at him. There were so many questions and concerns in David’s gaze. “Who the fuck was that?” he asked again.

Asher sighed. “Just some guy from Hux’s team. He said he wanted a tattoo. I didn’t know he… would…” He waved a hand, floundering for words.

David nodded, that angry crease in his brow. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Asher took a step back and gestured at himself like it was proof.

“Ash,” David said, voice weighted in seriousness.

Asher looked at him.

“You can punch clients that pull shit like that.”

“What?”

“You hesitated. I know this is our business and you’re used to being the nice one, but you can turn that off and just kick them the fuck out.”

Asher nodded. That made sense. Yeah. And he knew where that line was out in clubs. Asher could definitely handle himself.

“Just imagine it’s someone else.”

“What?”

“Imagine it’s one of Milo’s clients and what you’d do then.”

Asher laughed, surprising himself and relieved to feel that gross feeling in his chest loosen. “Milo would have punched him.”

David snorted. “Bad example.”

Asher sighed and nodded, shaking it off. It wasn’t his first time dealing with a creep. But this guy had known Huxley, had talked like… “What an asshole,” Asher said with a shrug.

David nodded but his mouth pinched, eyes still on Asher.

Asher realized he was still worried and laughed, clapping his shoulder. “Look at you playing hero, though! Damn you were quick to haul him out.”

“Haul who out?” Darlin asked, walking in the back door with a big yawn like they’d just woken up.

“I had a creepy client and David straight up bounced him!”

Darlin stopped, blinking at them. “Seriously?”

Asher nodded, back to cleaning up. He wanted to get rid of every bit of evidence this guy had been there… but he didn’t rush, because he could still feel David sneaking glances at him. “Turns out Davey missed his true calling—bouncer.”

Darlin smiled, shrugging out of their jacket. “I thought you said his true calling was line cook?”

Asher shook his head. “New true calling.” Weird. He was weird. Did Huxley think he was weird? No way Hux said that sort of stuff… right?

-

Huxley stood in the locker room, frowning at his phone after practice. Asher had cancelled on dinner last night and wasn’t sure he could meet up tonight either. That was okay, of course, but… But there was something off about it that Hux couldn’t quite explain.

-are you ok? He typed the words but hesitated to send them, just staring at them. Was it somehow too needy to ask? They were still new, and Asher wasn’t saying anything was wrong. He was just… off?

The sound of some of the other players coming down the hall spilled through the doors ahead of them.

Hux sent the question, leaning against his locker and watching the screen.

The group of his teammates burst into the locker room on the other side, unaware of him for now. Which was great, because as soon as they spotted him, there was no way they’d let him mop around with his phone.

“You’re an asshole, Colt,” Riley said, putting a laugh on it but sounding like he was actually mad. He didn’t usually get mad, so it almost took Huxley’s focus from his phone.

His message was read. Asher was typing…

“You saw him! Why wouldn’t I try to get some strange too?” Colt snapped back on the other side of the lockers, gear thumping into the floor and benches.

“Huxley’s going to lay you out if you don’t watch it,” Riley warned.

Huxley looked up at his name. What the fuck were they talking about?

Colt sputtered. “Hux loves me. And it was just a joke. That fucking freak didn’t even finish the damn tattoo!”

Huxley heart pounded. His text conversation bumped up.

-yeah

-100

-see you tomorrow maybe?

Hux still had his phone in his hand when he came around the lockers.

Riley saw him first, standing straighter and looking more resigned than caught. Probably because he wasn’t the one caught, right?

“What?” Colt barked and then turned to see Huxley right there behind him. Hux wasn’t sure what the hell he was talking about, but the flash of panic and guilt on his friend’s face before he covered it up with that ugly twist of attitude told him too much. Colt had definitely done something. “When—”

“What did you do?”

Colt shook his head. “Nothing. What are you talking about?” He wouldn’t tell him. He had never admitted to shit when he fucked up.

Hux held up a hand, having to pull it back to keep from pushing the guy in front of him. His moms always said no pushing off the ice. Problems should be handled with words. He looked at Riley. They’d all played together for years. Riley looked angry. Which was why Hux was pretty damn sure he should be angry. “What did he do?”

Colt rolled his eyes and threw his helmet at his locker. “Come on! I didn’t do shit!”

Hux didn’t look at him. He just looked at Riley and waited.

Some of the other guys were looking shamefaced and anywhere but at the scene.

Riley nodded.

“Shut the fuck up!” Colt warned before Riley even started. But it didn’t stop him.

“Dipshit here went to your boyfriend’s shop to get a tattoo yesterday. He ran his mouth and made a move. Like he thought he was getting a happy ending or something. Got kicked out.”

Huxley stared, trying to process that. Ran his mouth? At Asher? A happy ending? He swung toward Colt, who jumped back for the first time in their friendship. “What the fuck?”

Colt laughed, hands up at his sides. “Dude! I was just messing around! It’s not my fault if goth puck bunny took it serious!”

“What did you say to him?”

“What?”

“What did you do?” Huxley ground out each word, the whole fucking locker room gone silent around them.

Colt’s face twisted from surprised to scorned. He shoved forward, pushing into Huxley’s space. “You can’t blame me for wanting to know what’s got you drooling over that metal-faced freak! Is it the tongue ring?” He grinned. “Is it—”

Huxley snapped his head forward, the same way he had a hundred times on the ice, knocking his head right into Colt’s. It should have hurt, but it didn’t. Colt fell back and as soon as he had the space, Huxley threw a punch that turned him face-first into the locker and sent him sliding to the floor.

Riley nodded like this had been the obvious and only outcome, back to working his gear off. “He told your guy he wanted the Huxley special. Only got a couple lines into the tattoo before he got kicked out.”

Colt groaned on the floor, coming to.

Huxley looked at his phone in his hand again and those last messages from Asher telling him they were 100 when they definitely weren’t. He stepped over Colt and grabbed his shit from his locker before storming out.

He called Asher on his way to his truck. What was he even going to say? What the fuck had happened?

Colt had said so many mean things. Had he said that shit to Asher? Had he hurt him?

Asher didn’t answer and Huxley shoved his phone back in his pocket and unlocked his truck.

-

Asher rubbed the steam off the mirror in the bathroom and then stepped back, music blaring through the apartment. He pushed his wet hair out of his face and looked at his reflection.

Weird.

Why did it keep coming up in his thoughts? Why did he care?

Weird.

It had never bothered him before.

David thumped his fist on the door and shouted over the music, “We’re heading out. Be back tonight!”

Asher nodded even though no one could see, still looking at himself. “Yeah. Have fun!”

He waited, wondering if he’d heard the door shut. It was impossible to hear.

Why hadn’t he just gone out with Hux tonight? He missed him. But his stomach hurt when he thought about actually seeing him. He’d have to tell him what happened… Would he even believe him? What if it was something he’d said to his teammates? What if he was embarrassed? What if Asher really was like a weird fling?

“Fuck.” He dropped his head forward, scrubbing a hand over his face. He had never been insecure like this before. But he liked Huxley. Like, really really fucking liked him. What if this was a real issue?

He looked at himself again, leaning closer, eyeing those piercings in his face.

No one was home.

He took the piercings out, trying not to think too much about what he was doing and why. It wasn’t a big deal. He was just looking at something. He put the last one down, his chin low, and forced his eyes up to his reflection again. Reaching up, he covered the ink on his temple sneaking out from his hairline, tilting his face so as not to see the one on his neck. His heart hurt.

No.

Nope.

He shook his head, even with tears in his eyes. He couldn’t change who he was and he didn’t want to. Even just thinking about it was hollowing him out in a way he could tell would wreck him. He liked Huxley a lot, but what was the point if Huxley didn’t really like him? What was the point if he tried to be someone else?

He picked up one of his eyebrow bars but a bang on the bathroom door made him jump and drop the damn thing. “Damn it!”

“Ash?” Huxley called over the music, Asher barely registering the familiar voice before the door was open and they were staring at each other.

Asher blinked and then huffed a laugh. This had to be the worst week. He was totally naked, piercings out, in his bathroom with the music still blasting through the apartment and looking at the last person he wanted to see him right now in the doorway. “Hi.”

-

Huxley had caught David and Darlin in the hall on their way out on a date. He could hear the music through the apartment door.

It was sheer luck that David let him in. There was no way Asher would have heard him over the music.

He realized pretty quickly that he was in the bathroom and almost barged in before thinking better of it and knocking first. But then he heard Asher swear inside and opened the door anyway.

They stared at each other.

Asher was naked and gorgeous but… but all his face piercings were out.

“Hi,” Asher said.

“Hi,” Huxley said and then winced because he had just busted in on the other guy. “Sorry. I tried to call. We…We need to talk.”

Asher’s tight smile fell, along with his chin. He nodded and grabbed his briefs, pulling them on. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Let me get dressed and I’ll meet you in the living room?”

Huxley nodded and backed away, turning down the hall for the living room and trying to figure out how exactly to have this conversation. How was he supposed to ask about what happened when Asher hadn’t told him? He wanted to apologize but he wasn’t even sure for what.

Asher took longer than he’d expected but when he came down the hall, Huxley realized why. His piercings were back in. Well, all but one of the eyebrow studs.

He went to the speaker and turned off the music, and then he stayed there across the room from him, leaning against the wall, waiting.

“I heard… I heard Colt came to your studio yesterday,” he said, watching Asher. He looked so far away, his arms folded and his shoulder against the wall.

Asher winced, gaze finally meeting his but it was a mix of anger and nerves. “He came onto me.” The words burst out of him, like he thought Huxley might have thought otherwise? “He… He’s kind of an asshole.”

Huxley nodded, stepping closer. “He’s a huge asshole,” he agreed. “I’m so sorry that happened. Whatever he said… I’m sorry, Ash.”

Asher blinked at him and then slowly pushed off the wall, arms unfolding. “Is this… Is this what you wanted to talk about?”

Huxley felt as confused as his boyfriend looked. “Yeah? I mean… this is why you cancelled on me, right? Why you’re avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding… I was just…” He sighed. “I just needed to think and I knew when I saw you, I’d have to tell you about it and I wasn’t ready.”

Huxley nodded. That made sense. “I wish you felt like you could have told me what happened yesterday, but I get it.” He took another step closer, wanting so much to close that gap between them but scared that it wasn’t just physical. “Wait. What did you think we were going to talk about?” What else could there be but this?

Asher exhaled hard, almost a laugh but too tight to make it. He shrugged. “I mean, I thought you were breaking up with me.”

Huxley almost lost his footing. “What? Why?”

Asher waved a hand. “The whole Colt thing and what he said about…” the words cut off and he looked sick. “I just—”

“What did he say?”

Asher shook his head, one hand going to his brow, touching the stud that was there and then the spot where one was missing. He wouldn’t quite look at Huxley. “I don’t know, man. He just threw me and I guess I thought… And he seems like the kind of douchebag who’s going to tell everyone he got what he wanted even if David threw him on his ass, right?”

Huxley took a step closer, catching those fragments of information. “You thought I’d believed him?”

Asher winced and that hand moved from his face to his scalp, clawing fingers through his hair. “I mean, maybe? You’ve known him longer than me.”

“I don’t know him,” Huxley said. “I’ve played with him for years, but I don’t know him. I don’t want to know him. But I want to know you, and you wouldn’t do that. I’m sorry this happened. Can you… Can you tell me exactly what happened?” And why it had clearly freaked him out so bad? This was more than worrying that he’d believe some lies.

Asher exhaled some of that tension in his lean body, finally taking a step closer to Huxley, meeting him in the middle of the little living room. “I’m sorry. I guess I just spun out.” He touched Huxley’s wrist, the gesture somewhere between casual and exploratory, like he wasn’t really sure what would happen.

Huxley turned his arm, collecting Asher’s hand in his, relieved beyond belief for that contact and that invitation to nearness. His other hand touched the side of Asher’s face. “No, dude, don’t downplay it. You’re upset.”

Asher smiled but it was a ghost of the real thing. “I’m okay! So much better now.”

Huxley nodded slowly. This was all still new and he was just as tempted to lean into the idea of getting back to how they usually were, but Asher had looked so hurt… “Listen. I know you can handle yourself and you can probably handle whatever this is, but I’m right here. You could tell me. Sometimes it helps to say it.”

Asher stared up at him, so close now. His thin smile fell and after another stretch of thinking, he dropped his head, looking at a point on Huxley’s chest. “He said some shit about how he was surprised to find out you were into weird. …who’s not into weird sometimes? he said. He wanted the Huxley special. I was starting a thigh tat and he grabbed the back of my head. Said I’d mark him and then he’d mark me…just like you.”

Huxley had to hold his breath to keep from reacting. Fury fluttered in his chest, but he focused on Asher’s cheek so soft under the sweep of his thumb. This wasn’t about his anger.

Asher sighed, cringing. “I wasn’t scared or anything. I could have tossed him out myself. I just… I thought he was a friend of yours and then I had to wonder if…”

“If I’d said that?”

Asher closed his eyes and shook his head. “I know you wouldn’t but… I mean. We’ve been going to these team get-togethers with the other partners and families and I get it. I stick out. What if I am just some strange you’re getting out of your system?” As soon as he said it, he winced and shook his head again. “I’m sorry.”

Huxley gently lifted his face to get him to look at him. “Hey. No. We’ve been together for a few months, man. You get to have doubts and I am so fucking sorry I didn’t notice you were worried about this. You are the kindest, funniest, sexiest person I have ever met. You’re not strange or weird. You’re you. You’re perfect, Asher.”

Asher stared back at him, eyes big, hand squeezing his. “Damn…”

“What?”

Asher smiled slowly. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Huxley exhaled a laugh. “Well, I’ll say it whenever you want to hear it. I’ll say it until you’re sick of it.”

Asher shook his head, leaning in until their hips and stomachs were pressed together. “Not possible.” He kissed him.

Huxley kissed him back, fireworks of relief going off behind his eyelids. The kiss was slow and easy, not demanding or pushing for more, just reaffirming and reveling in that connection. When they broke for air, he leaned his forehead to Asher’s. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he whispered again.

Asher sighed but it was light now. “Not your fault. I really should have punched him though…”

“I knocked him out in the locker room before coming over here…” he admitted, expecting to feel bad about it eventually but not yet.

Asher pulled his head back to look at him. “Did you really?”

Huxley nodded.

Asher grinned. “Thanks.”

[total-drama-brainrot]

Total Drama AU/Headcanon: Where everything is the same, except Noah is just as crazy/insane as Izzy and Eva, but he's much better at hiding it (with a sarcastic calm personality) ... Only Izzy, Eva and Owen know his true unhinged colors (and that's why they get along with him so well) .../// Duncan briefly saw it during the Total Drama Island Special Finale, when Duncan grabbed Noah's leg, but Noah escaped, and we didn't see HOW Noah escaped... In this AU, Noah bit Duncan's hand then gave Duncan a silent psychotic grin, which shocked Duncan and gave Noah time to escape (Noah basically pretending the bite and grin never happened) ... In TDWT, imagine if Alejandro ever found out that the sanest one on his Team is only PRETENDING to be sane! 😅

I've seen that one Scary!Noah AU floating about in the main tag lately, and I love the concept. There's so much that could be done with having someone like Noah (scarily smart, mostly motivated by either spite or The Bit, nerfed by his own laziness/apathy/hubris) have the added bonus of Going Apeshit sometimes. Either as a treat to himself, or as the natural consequence of his hidden nature.

It's like that "Izzy Isn't Crazy" theory, but in reverse. "Noah Is Crazy, He's Just Good At Masking".

In this AU, he and Izzy would get on like a house on fire.

Like recognises like, after all; Izzy would clock him as just as unhinged as herself at their first meeting, and probably confront him about his 'game plan' at the first chance she could (maybe that's why she was so quick to swap with Katie? A bid to get herself on the same team as Noah?). Noah would try to deny it at first, because he's supposed to be the 'lazy genius'- slipping from his allotted persona this soon into the competition would jeopardise his strategy!- but Izzy would reassure him that she can practically smell the crazy on him.

He'd live up to his title as 'The Schemer', by means of plotting pranks and other such events with Izzy. She'd use her status as the overt crazy girl to pull them off, and Noah would either help behind the scenes to abate his hunger for chaos, or live vicariously through Izzy's blatant mania whilst revelling in the fact that their plan(s) play out perfectly every time. Imagine how much better Izzy's bear suit prank would've been with a man on the inside- and now imagine how much better it would've been if Noah pretended to get eaten/mauled by bear!Izzy (using smuggled ketchup packets and A Lot Of Screaming to convince the Gophers of his demise)! (He'd play off the incident by blaming the whole thing on Izzy- saying she was the one who used the ketchup, and his screaming was just him being Rightfully Terrified of being eaten. Gotta keep up the charade!)

No one would suspect him either! Who would ever assume that slothful, apathetic Noah who complains about the trials and tribulations of 'hard work', 'effort' and 'physical activity' could be a friend and an accomplice to the unstoppable force of nature that is Izzy? He's always too busy shoving his nose into his book to ever consider befriending the crazy girl, there's no way Noah would even tolerate her! (/s)

I think he'd eventually reveal his true colours to Team E-scope plus Owen once their friendship is cemented off-screen. Noah isn't the trusting type (I'd clarify, but I'd end up writing a whole unrelated essay- maybe another time) and he's habitually secretive- his non-answers in the WT Character Interview and his Sierra-given title of "The Man of Mystery" attest to this- so he'd need to know that his friends are really his friends before letting himself be vulnerable/transparent with them, since any 'friendships' made on Total Drama always run the risk of being a ploy/fake. It is a social game, after all.

As for the Duncan Incident. Having Noah bite people is going to turn into a running gag for me at this point, because it's so fucking hilarious to imagine him in a scenario where he's forced/pressured into violence and immediately starts chomping down on someone. This weasel boy wasn't built for punches and kicks but On God can he use those pearly whites to cause some damage. (The human jaw has a surprisingly strong bite force. Noah absolutely knows this.)

I'd also like to suggest that Noah rips himself out of his cargo shorts after biting Duncan, leaving the punk with a bleeding handful of nerd shorts and an open wound for his troubles. He'd already let go of Noah by that point too; it's hard to maintain your grip on anything when you've got a manic bookworm tearing away at the tendons in your hands. So he's just sat there, terrified and concerned, nursing the throbbing, sluggishly bleeding bitemark on his hand and wondering how Noah managed to contort his usually stoic facial features into a grin so wild and feral.

And Noah races back to Izzy and Eva, face and teeth splattered in Duncan's blood, sans cargo shorts. Neither of them question it; Izzy has an idea of what he's done, since Noah's smugness levels have risen at least three tiers and he's smiling almost contentedly to himself, and Eva has learned how to Mind Her Own Business when it comes to Izzy and Noah's eccentricities (though she often shoots inquisitive looks towards Noah's red-painted face).

Then in World Tour? Alejandro is suffering. Noah's the only person on his team who isn't lacking braincells and/or completely unhinged (or so he thinks), and as such he's the latino's only lifeline to sanity on the forsaken jet. So when Duncan returns in London and seems scared of the harmless bookworm? That's concerning.

Assuming that Noah's a wee bit more savvy in this AU thanks to his subterfuge experience in Island, he probably wouldn't be as outwardly apparent in his distrust of Alejandro during the challenge- either that, or he'd be enjoying torturing Tyler too much to think about how much of an eel Alejandro is. So Alejandro wouldn't have any reason to want to eliminate him, if anything he'd be motivated to keep him around, if only to act as a buffer between himself and the idiocy of Team Chris.

Duncan's re-introduction and allocation to the team would be Alejandro's first inkling into the fact that Noah is more than he seems. When the delinquent is ushered to stand next to Alejandro and Noah, his pupils contract into pinpricks or terror, and his attention flickers between the aloof cynic to his side and an oval-shaped scar on his hand. The cynic shoots Duncan a friendly smile (Alejandro ignores how the smile doesn't quite reach Noah's eyes) and the punk turns sheet white.

Alejandro doesn't know what to make of it.

[dear-mrs-otome]

Would you please share crumbs of Jude's event? 👉👈

Yeah yeah! This goes for my other anon who was asking too...I won't go into any detail because I'm positive someone out there will do a much better job of translating but here's the super quick and dirty version, literally just copying what I was screeching to friends. see what i did there

Basically, Kate gets herself accidentally drugged shielding some woman when she and Jude are on a mission dealing with human traffickers, and she's high as fuck on this aphrodisiac stuff, just no brain cells left only horknee. Roger says she's just gotta wait it out and that someone should keep an eye on her overnight to make sure no bad side effects happen, and of course he volunteers.

Jude: he's just gonna try and get a piece -.-

Roger's like AS WOULD ANY OF US HERE and Jude's level of legit out loud just saying I'M SURROUNDED BY THE DREGS OF SOCIETY had me rolling.

Anyway, much to his surprise Kate picks him to be her monitor and he eventually gets exasperated with her not even being able to walk right, he's like I'm not standing here all night holding you up binch. You'll feel better if you just come, so here's my hand - go wild rubbing yourself on some fingers to get off.

He keeps giving her shit about her being pitiful and stuff but he never touches her anywhere else and only over her clothes as she comes a couple of times, and Kate finally implies that's why she picked him, because she knew he'd never take advantage of someone in her state. Jude teases her about how convenient it is to be able to blame all this sluttery on the drugs but he gets very serious (SOFT FACE ALERT) and tells her he's just yanking her chain - he knows she's not the sort of girl to give herself away so easily.

It's hilarious but also weirdly gentlemanly, and he helps her mentally get through it by commiserating with her rage that some guy is out there manufacturing this horrible stuff and putting women through what she's suffering through, and he basically says hang in there and after this is over how about you and I make sure we track down that fucker and give him hell 😈

There's a pretty amusing scene after the night ends, some time later when they HAVE caught the guy, and Kate's celebrating. Jude's confiscated all the aphrodisiac and taken over the supply lines, and Kate asks what he's gonna do with it, and he tells her he's gonna sell it. She's like WHAT but he very logically explains that if he doesn't, someone else will step up to make something possibly even worse, so he'll dilute it and control distribution safely (ostensibly to hopefully keep it safer) ((Jude for legalized marijuana amirite))

But then the shithead offers to sell her some with a sly grin and Kate's just difjfjfjdjd No NO THANK YOU

Jude: you sure? You SEEMED like you were enjoying yourself ;) leaving Kate just -.- And then he's basically like, eh i wouldn't mind being with you I guess your O face ain't so bad and poor Kate is left kind of like he's joking right? RIGHT? because if he isn't god help me and my poor heart

ANYWAYS...like I said, it was all kind of very twistedly chivalrous, and it really reinforced again that Jude's a dick but an equal opportunity one, he's never a dick to Kate because she's a woman. He drinks his respect juice, especially for exploited ladies it seems, even if he shows it strangely at times.