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#but i fucking hate soup so much
mossear07 · 2 years
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karliahs · 3 months
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girlwiththegreenhat · 2 years
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i had a dream i lost my spamton plush for like three days and i couldn't figure out how i lost something that sits on a shelf until i went to make dinner and found him in the fridge completely drowned in a big bowl of leftover soup. the voicebox still worked but all the lines were shuffled up by about quarter-second intervals like a fucked up spirit box. i went to buy another one and fangamer changed the store page to say Soupton instead of Spamton
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derpinette · 7 months
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i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of
#also i used to get beaten to finish my food nearly daily & it would take me forever to do that like literally hours with no exaggeration#just made me hate eating even more. now my technique is eating as fast as possible before i even realize how overwhelming#the sensory experience is & i can just be done with it VS the pain&dread of eating slowly -> disgust of Everything+hyperawareness#eating tightens my muscles like i hate it so fucking much catching the food putting it in my mouth CHEWING swallowing#what a damn chore#so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked#i even hated the foods autists usually like like fries & fried chicken meatballs ETC. HATED.#i was/am more of a soup & turning all my food into varieties of Slop kind of girl nothing hard for me please...#i experienced middle school during the like ♯Thick era of the world which was honestly a good thing like for The Populace#but i felt like killing myself because i felt like an unforgivable fugly genetic failure & people did not hesitate to let me know#anyway either way i would be unhappy caus if i did gain weight during puberty i would have a meltdown about all the Changes#so i feel content for the time being about only losing the fat in my face & getting age appropriate wrinkles really#trying to enjoy the privilege of thinness while i have it because it will not last forever 0_0 but that should not matter anyway...#the privilege of thinness: being way uglier than others & constantly looking like a gibbon dying of disease + no energy or strength ever#JK people are much MUCH nicer to thin people & they do things for me on account of looking physically incapable so um yay i guess#light at the end of the tunnel that is very significant in the grand scheme of things socially. ♯CountingMyBlessings#also i was raised on ♯HAES tumblr from 2014-2018 i truly believed in that & was so damn envious i was not curvy & beautiful LOL#so i never hated overweight people really i think for the most part the SJW tumblr values stuck with me#but now i know it depends on your base frame & genetics & there is no guarantee to what you choose to do (naturally) acceptance is peace#sorry for the gigantic Arse post i just needed to get that off my chest for a long time. not on here specifically just in general#oh & i am a ♯Grignoteuse but grignoter (grazing) is different from eating in my mind&body#& my insecurity was not a result of wanting to fit in really but kind of in the sense that i wanted people to stop berating me for my looks#like body wise only & also not understanding why every other girl looked like a girl blossoming into a woman#& i looked like i was transitioning to Malnourished (unsexed) Ape made worse by bein GNC.& like the need for control later on & erthang ETC
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temperate-rainforest · 7 months
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I always forget how people back in the olde days used to just die so easily from the flu, until I get the flu myself dhhdhdhf because on one hand I know our medicine is just soo much better now a days but on the other hand I have the immune system of a dead man and once I get sick I'm like the ye olde victorian child on a death bed dhdhdhhd it's been 4 days and I just NOW can get on my phone to watch videos and text, and eat and drink water, and coherently string words together and do more than just lay in bed and moan in pain, and sweat and cough in sick delirium 😭
#im being so deadass#i only slept once between just staring at whatever i was hallucinating on the ceiling and that was last night#and i dreamt that i was eating glass#i know its because ive hurt my stomach and ribs from so much coughing because i can barely talk#at least in my dream i was picky about the glass i was eating LMAOOO i was like NO I WANT THE BUBBLE AMBER DRINKING GLASS NOM NOM#and raided a flea market just to find it and eat it#i dont fucking know#i finally ate some chicken noodle soup and apple sauce too and ive finally had some wonderful and amazing water#i swear i never enjoyed it more in my LIFE#i hate being sick because i get so sick so easily and soo soo so bad#fucking rough man#i had no idea it was Saturday until i just checked#fucking was Tuesday last I remembered god damnit#also its really scary looking in the mirror because I dont look well or look like myself right now#body image warning#but my face looks so hallow and dark and scratched up because apparently I either was scratching in my sleep or something happened#and I'm soo much thinner than the last time I looked in a mirror and got out of bed like 4 days ago#my beard is big and shaggy and i need to shave but i really really don't look good and its hard to do any self care#when you go from looking healthy and glowy to pale and dark and thin in just a couple days#like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that#im caught in a state of#this isn't reality#which i know isnt safe or good but ill be okay because i know im just in shock and that i cant push myself through it#especially in this weakened state#i just need to take it slow and steady#drink my water stay in my blanket and eat what i can and take my meds and thank FUCK I came through the fog and rest
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northwind808 · 3 days
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The feeling when you have the motivation to write but not the energy-
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fragiledate · 1 year
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☎️ call me when you lost 📞
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Finished the second Deadpool, very nice. I like movies/shows like this, it has its serious moments and well placed comedy
Proves Hazbin is just bad writing... It doesn't take itself seriously... Like ever.
Deadpool has a lot of comedy but also the space for its touching and serious scenes. I also enjoy 4th wall breaks and the calling out Wade did on the lazy writing parts
People who say Hazbin has great writing are crazy cause tbh it's shit compared to other darker adult comedies - Speaking as a fan of adult comedies and dark media.
Anyways Deadpool was great, I've been exposed to so much gore thankfully that I'm not so bothered by that stuff in Deadpool
Hannibal was honestly worse in that aspect and that streamed on live television
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badolmen · 10 months
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Incredibly frustrated by how condescendingly jaded my uncle can be but I’m being so brave about it <- not blowing him up with my mind even though I want to
#ra speaks#personal#I love him. but my dude. bruh.#made a comment abt how I should try working/volunteering w the homeless#after I commented on his tirade abt homeless ppl ‘gaming the system’ by getting arrested in the winter#to have somewhere warm w food to stay like ‘why are we not talking about how fucked it is that the homeless will fucking die if they don’t?#like sir. buddy. you do remember that I grew up on food stamp right? I have gone to a food bank as a recipient before.#I’ve volunteered at shelters and soup kitchens before. I know addicts and homeless people in town.#this isn’t some naive wide eyed college socialist ‘those poor homeless people are saints’ schitck#this is a tired university food pantry anarchist ‘aren’t you fucking tired of being cruel to people who make the best o thr circumstances?’#sorry you can no longer see the divine value of every human life and must endure the tragedy#of considering everyone not to your standard a lost cause.#some of us see the work to be done and will be doing it instead of wallowing in hate and pity.#shut up and get to work like the rest of us if you hate it so much.#it’s just like *strangled him* you see me twice a year dude I DO WORK AT A SOUP KITCHEN YOU IDIOT#I just don’t talk abt it because it’s just something I do sorry I thought making acts of charity your whole personality#was vain and frowned upon in christian society???#this makes my plans to ditch academia and go into fulltime aid work feel all the more. idk vindicated???#that’s not the right word but you get it. uncle t I love you but you know fuck all and have hardened your heart to the world.#god break that heart of stone you have and bless you with love for your fellow man. or whatever.#for context this convo happened like two years ago but I saw him last week and in light of recent personal revelations I’ve remembered it#core memory locked in ‘are you for fucking real uncle t?’#vocational woes
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crabussy · 2 months
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I spent so long on that cockroach post that I haven't stretched or eaten or had any water in the last hour. but I'm totally not autistic I promise. not one autistic cell in my body <- spent 4 hours straight on another project yesterday that made me giddy with excitement and didnt eat or drink anything for those 4 hours either
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nervouswaltz · 11 months
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was going to play minecraft but then got all cozy in bed and like. what if. i napped a wee bit.
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reblog this and put in the tags a food everyone fucking loves but you hate
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spiltsoup · 1 year
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Shoutout to the time when I was tired and I didn’t know what to write for a creative writing assignment so I just bs’d a funny Dream Mask reference joke and presented it to the entire class
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sodrippy · 11 months
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the tenth circle of hell is being too fatigued to cook a proper meal, getting takeaway or an abysmal little snack instead, not getting any nutrients, being too hungry and fatigued to cook your next meal and so on and so forth until crows peck your liver out
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ruinpowder · 1 year
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i probably need to start going to therapy again but it always makes me feel so stressed and guilty. like i feel like i’m failing a test or something lol
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strayskinny · 2 years
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today was actually so awful i hate everything,,,,,,
#so last night i had an emotional b!ngl bc i was upset about my pet#so i paid the price this morning bc i v0mited three times bc my body could not handle that much food n i needed to get that shit out#i don’t even p*the that was just my body’s natural response lol#and bc i had to take my pet to the vet to see if there’s literally anything we could do to help him#i wasn’t able to eat or drink anything so i finally made some miso soup n ate a bun bc that’s was the first piece of bread i could find lol#that was like 3hrs ago maybe n now i’m picking on some freeze dried bananas#but the flavor is literally so concentrated bc of the freeze drying i can only eat a few#oh and the vet has no idea what’s wrong with him and bc he’s a small animal it’s really hard to check to see if somethings wrong#like they can’t even do bloodwork bc his veins are so hard to find bc of how tiny he is#but hes literally lost so much weight n idk why idk what happened it was so sudden i can feel all his bones :(((((#they said there’s no real way of knowing what could’ve happened or caused this but the gave us antibiotics to try but i’m not very hopeful#she said it could be organ failure bc she said his kidneys felt very small and he was dehydrated#but that’s not a diagnosis bc there’s no way of confirming if that’s what’s wrong#she suggested we think about saying goodbye to him….#it fucking hurts so bad man bc he’s always been such a sweet n cuddly boy n he doesn’t deserve to suffer like this#he’s so weak n i’m trying my best to help him by giving him all his fav treats n feeding him critical care n giving him medicine#but it just doesn’t seem to be enough#i hate it man i really do i hate seeing him like this bc ik he must be suffering n i feel so helpless bc there’s nothing more that i can do#n i think his cage mate knows somethings up too bc he’s been very attentive to him recently n he’s been grooming n cuddling with him#and that breaks my heart even more bc he’s gonna be alone soon n he won’t know where his friend went#god i hate it so much#anyway now i’m crying again so that’s cool major slay ahahahaha
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