#but i feel like this is justified rage
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Had a sneaking suspicion that my roommate was eating my food because stuff was like... disappearing but just walked in on him in the kitchen cooking my bacon and drinking my wine. I am about to go ballistic.
#hes M's brother so like i can't start shit with him#he probably doesn't realize that M and i keep separate groceries in the house because we eat differently#but also BRO what the FUCK#he ate my coffee cake a few days ago that i was saving for breakfast and when you have to get up at 5am to go to work#sometimes coffee cake is the only thing holding you together and i almost completely lost it#also like... bruh my WINE??? really??? its nothing special but like... i did buy it for my own personal consumption#m has beer in the fridge if you want a drink#or better yet there is a liquor store literally a three minute walk from the fucking house#i am a little bit food reactive#hence why M and I keep separate pantries as a rule#but i feel like this is justified rage
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the jewelry Athy stole likely belonged to the murdered concubines of the Ruby Palace and not once Athy feels bad about stealing from the dead
#like it was justified because her life was in danger but still I would have liked to see her feeling at least a little bit guilty#and putting flowers on the concubines' graves and saying thank you and that she was sorry her father killed them#this makes the maids stealing from the Ruby Palace seem even more unscrupulous#they were all from noble families and didn't need that money#I hope the ghosts of the concubines haunt tf out of their families 😤#anyway I needed a scene where Athy notices blood stains on a necklace she stole and remembers that she is living at a crime scene#and throws up making Lily send Felix who was meant to take her to the next tea party with Claude away#Athy feels the rage of the poor murdered girls possessing her and cannot bring herself to smile for Claude in the next days#wmmap#who made me a princess#sbapod#suddenly became a princess one day#athanasia de alger obelia#massacre of the ruby palace
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"He hurts you because he loves you" classic excuse for abuse, not an interesting angle to go at a story with, boring, annoying, makes me hate anyone who says this shit. "He loves you but he still hurt you" beautiful, amazing, empowering. Love is not a pure, good, flawless emotion, actions matter more than intent, and caring for someone doesn't mean you can't or won't hurt them, and in my opinion, it makes hurting them worse.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#bruce wayne#not directly dc but i was def thinking abt this mf when writing it#like im sorry but narratives abt someone acknowledging their parent was rough/hard on them growing up bc they cared or whatever do Nothing#for me#i have NEVER ONCE seen the concept of ''tough love'' used in any context outside of trying to justify abuse.#like fuck off w the robins going ''bruce is hard on you cus he wants you to do your best'' or whatever I ACTUALLY HATE ITTT#''but he loves her'' ah yes. the most classic fucking excuse for abuse and mistreatment.#i don't care if there is love!!! i dont care if actions come from a place of care and love if the actions are fucking horrific!!!!!#like in my opinion hurting someone you love is worse than hurting someone you hate#i dont care about your intentions if you caused real harm#uegh this is a topic i feel very strongly about bc the bullshit narrative of a character#forgiving someone for hurting them bc they learn they love/care is so prevalent and has never been done in a way#that doesnt make me seethe w fucking rage!!!#gaa >:(#anyway. narratives about acknowleding they loved you and cared for you and wanted the best for you#AND STILL HURT YOU are so good to me#you can hurt someone you love. loving someone doesnt mean you wont hurt them. and love is not an excuse to hurt others.#seems like such basic 101 understanding of the world but apparently not 😒
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finished hera & started lady macbeth and we have got to start blaming women for shit again for real
#this is a joke. but.#if i have to read one more retelling~ that’s just#‘but what if the woman was ASSAULTED ALL THE TIME and had NO AGENCY so everything bad she did was JUSTIFIED or a LIE???’ please stop#when you’re actively taking agency away from women written and portrayed in deeply patriachal cultures you’re not giving them a voice#youre taking the voice they had away.#women worked around and within the patriarchy while having feelings and ambitions and wants and dreams and flaws and virtues forever.#without the necessity of ‘but what if the MAN in her life was just SUPER EVIL and NOT NUANCED and she was just ASSAULTED’#what if no women wanted anything but SAFETY ever what if they were never power hungry or jealous or predatory ever themselves?#yes circe did this too if i have to see one more person say ‘oh except circe’ i will scream.#circe is literally like. the worst offender here.#pivoting back though sorry but it also all feels very bioessentialist PRESUMABLY without meaning to but ‘oh men are just inherently evil#with no nuance. nuance is for women and by nuance we mean was just super oppressed and wronged’ is uh haha actually terfy as fuck#good ol lady macunsexmeherebeth who definitely didn’t plot the whole thing to begin with for sure needs to be Given a Voice#i haven’t finished this one yet btw. i like this author’s work on the whole i just think this one is a swing and a miss because like.#this is not a woman who didn’t do anything and who didn’t have a voice.#if you want to show us her perspective in terms of her psychology and her inner workings and how she got to this place excellent wonderful#but not when the answer is just ‘but actually nothing was her fault ever!!!!!!’ like. lol let her want that crown for reasons that aren’t#my husband is abusive.#like oh my god.#same with hera you’re gonna go with the ONE tradition where she didn’t want to marry zeus#and all her rage is just about Injustice and the Patrairchy and not actual envy. okay.#she & zeus were an og most toxic couple of all time but they WERE in virtually all tradition a couple still who had times of reconciliation#and attachment.#like you know. actual toxic and abusive relationships do.#also it completely erased rhea who was actually the character whose story this more closely resembled#(warrior goddess with flop husband she finally schemes against)#instead she just. uh. went away oh no hera’s so afraid of being weak like mama she must break the cycle.#like okay this is the story you want to tell stop superimposing it on mythical entities from thousands of years ago then.#justice4rhea.#okay sorry. end rant.
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I’m rereading Into the Dark at the bar before this concert I’m going to, as one does (I can’t focus on anything else, I’ve started and fizzled on like three other books this weekend)
and honestly…I feel kind of bad for Orla’s master. They’re like…kind of mean to her. Cohmac gets preemptively mad at her for…doing nothing, and then in the end Orla’s mad at her for daring to have a strategic plan and not just winging a rescue attempt, and not reading her mind. Which like, I get they’re literally telepaths but also she’s stressed and Orla should have spoken up. It’s like…normal to have strategic battle plans? Justice for Master Laret, she was doing her best stuck with two teenagers in a hostile environment, alone after her friend dies, she was doing her best
#star wars#the high republic#into the dark#it really feels like she takes a bunch of cohmac’s projected rage#like she’s sad too! he literally just says she’s full of sorrow and then he’s like#‘I bet she’s about to tell me not to mourn fuck her’ like dude she hasn’t done anything#i do feel like I need Cohmac to come back to explain wtf is wrong with him#i was like ‘I’d prefer dez back than Cohmac’ but sir I have QUESTIONS#Cohmac just gets locked into this ‘no one let me GRIEVE’ thing and literally no one says that to him#and Laret maybe is justified being like ‘ok we gotta focus up before we’re all killed’
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qian jin is such a fun character. i love that he just casually wants to commit uxoricide. he's just not someone you can be sympathetic towards, he isn't the villain with secret altruistic or desperate motivations. he not only has no real valid motives but his goal isn't even to save his wife or go back to the life he had where he could have had a kid of his own. he doesn't even care the ammount of lives he has to sacrifice to feel like he's avenging his own suffering. he's just so down in his own fantasy and so down in his own pain that he's just unapologetically a piece of shit. both him and tianchen and xixi's father are representations of the man under the patriarchy. i honestly think it's kind of ironic how the kids escaped their own father just to be brought up by someone who is the embodiment of the things they wanted so bad to get away from as well
#how both blamed their wives of cheating despite it not being true being so consumed with rage their solution is to kill... good parallels#i honestly feel bad for xiao li because it must be kind of sad to see someone you saw as a friend or a colleague just become#someone you don't recognise anymore and not even being able to justify it#okay but i didn't even comment on this yesterday but I WAS SO HAPPY JUAN WANG IS ALIVE AGSJSHSJ#i really thought she was dead 😭#thank you for saving the pretty woman gay people like <3#at least something good happened you know#link click
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Can someone please either validate me or send me to the Corner of Shame? This is very silly but I'm wondering.
So. I was talking to my sister the other day about movies and such, and she told me of one she recently watched with this one actor. And I casually mentioned how much I hated him. Not in a "he's a bad actor" or "he's a bad person" way. Nothing to do with whether I find him attractive or not. Just in a "he looks the most punchable guy on earth and I have this irrational rage against him" way, to the point that I just can't watch movies with him without being annoyed.
My sister looked at me like I was crazy because, "what do you mean you hate the guy". And I told her yeah? That's normal? Don't you have at least one person you can't stand for no reason?
Sister was like 😬😬😬 No??? Which is wild to me, because I could easily name 50 (which I did - not 50 but we were getting close to 20 before i got too annoyed lmao).
Now she thinks I'm slightly insane (/j) (I made myself angry and may have referred to a few individuals as "stupid" and "obnoxious"), and I kinda don't believe I am the only person alive who feels this way. But also she's an incredibly empathetic extrovert, while I'm a very low empath socially anxious creechur so. There's that?? I guess ?? Idk.
Can anyone relate to this? Or am I the weird one?
Also wait. Little disclaimer: I am not generally a violent person AT ALL. Do i get annoyed and angry easily? Yeah. Do I feel like bitch slapping someone right across their stupid face? Yeah, sometimes, sure. Do I do something about it? Not really.
I can be real bitchy and extra sarcastic and petty SURE, but that's the most I'll do if I am legitimately angry. Mostly I just go to my room and cry 🥺 (crying when angry yes it me). So yeah. Before yall think I have unsolved anger issues.
#if you're curious. the guy in question is Thimothée Chalamet#look. from what i've seen he's good at his job and he seems a genuinely nice guy#nothing against him at all like. you go timmy 🙂👍#i do however have an illogical boiling rage against him#i don't know what it is but i genuinely feel like punching his face everytime he pops up#maybe in another universe we were arch enemies. maybe i was his school bully. maybe HE was my school bully idk#obviously i would never do anything like that but if there's one person that looks like it could use a wedgie is him#and don't get me wrong. i DO feel about about it cus it's not like i'm choosing to be irrationally angry#and this goes for a bunch of other people#i just!!! 😡😡😡#seeing him (as in his vibe and general presence. nothing to do with physical appearance)#is the equivalent of trying to use cling film while it keeps sticking to itself#you know that one family guy scene with Peter and the cling wrap?? YEAH. THAT. genuinely so annoyed#i've always assumed this was a common thing. as in. there's always at least one person that gets on your nerves for absolutely no reason#but i guess maybe not???? *am* i a hater???#and btw this ONLY happens with either celebrities (in various degrees)#or people irl i've had some close proximity to <- and in this case it's always justified. i don't generally hate irl people out of nowhere#(okay there is ONE person in specific BUT i do feel slightly justified IMO. and in any case i always make sure to be as nice as possible)#(because poor girl didn't really do nothing wrong. i just have never vibed with her. i tried!! but yeah)#idk where i'm going with this lmao i might just ending up deleting it#whatever. don't worry guys you're all safe i love you very much and wouldn't slap any of you (unless asked you little freaks 👀)#darya talks to herself
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#suggesting that teams cut vets for the “growth of the game” as a “business decision” to make way for college kids with millions of followers#is CERTIFIABLE#that is one of the most batshit takes i have ever heard in my entire life#to say that no one tunes in for them [and then specifically calling out dt and bg] is so beyond fucked up#“because the young kids are just as good” is literally false#most rookies don't make the cut because people already on the teams are better than them#saying you'd rather make the product worse for the sake of dollars and eyeballs is crazy#saying that the olds should just r*tire and go away and get desk positions in the league because they aren't popular anymore#again is so beyond fucked up. like who do you think kept the league around for 20 years?#it sure as fuck wasn't c****** C****#and coincidentally just now when they're finally making money when they are finally on the verge of a decent cba you want them out#not because they can't play at that level but because YOU think other people will bring more eyes is SO DISTASTEFUL#ur account isn't even big enough to justify the kind of rage bait that this is#it is so disrespectful to everyone who made the game the way it is#and if you don't think dt and bg individually and together aren't entertaining to watch they you've never watched the mercury#who do you think changed the way the women's game was played?#this “take” is so dismissive and ageist#and even if you didn't namedrop them it's hard for this not to feel pointed#i'm going to need to do a word search after this#if you've seen the video i speak of i am so sorry you had to endure that#i should have stopped watching after like 10 seconds
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#random thoughts#AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#A#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE AND I DO NOT CARE WHO IT IS.#I DESPISE THE WAY I FEEL AND YET I NEED TO FEEL IT. I WAS NEVER PERMITTED RAGE. RAGE IS NOT AN OPTION.#I AM ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY ABOUT THIS I HAVE BEEN ALL MY LIFE.#I DO NOT CARE IF YOU FIND OUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. GO AHEAD AND SPECULATE.#I WOULD TELL YOU WHAT I THINK BUT I AM AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING PUSSY AND COULD NEVER.#I AM GOING TO KILL MY BROTHER I AM GOING TO CRUCIFY HIM LIKE THE GOOD CHRISTIAN HE FORGETS HE IS.#I AM JUSTIFIED IN THIS.#FUCKING KILL YOURSELF FUCKING KILL YOURSELF DO IT NOW. KILL YOURSELF.
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i think a lot of people coddle kuai liang too much. yes he’s good and a tortured man etc. and people see that he has struggled but don’t really see that he still is struggling and has faults. even in mk12 people aren’t really talking about how he did in fact try to kill bi-han- which yes, he would have regretted, but that is still a fault you have to see in him. he’s susceptible to fits of blind rage that will make him do things he’ll regret. his anger was justified (obviously) but he’s also capable of murdering his own brother (which once again, i am sure he would have regretted).
#like criticism of writing aside- that is who he is now. he isn’t an innocent baby who needs to be constantly coddled#he’s a nice guy he’s a great guy etc etc etc but he has these negative traits that are a part of his character#idk if infantilizing would be the right word for what i feel like this fandom does to him#as much as i talk about bihan it’s kuai liang who’s the character who i love most#mostly for sentimental reasons due to being the character i first liked#but i feel like the fandom doesn’t really appreciate him as much as they want to ‘baby’ him#and once again he’s one of the purest characters out there!! but he’s also full of a lot of pain#and in mk12 we actually saw him exert that pain into rage which almost killed bihan#and it’s a negative part of him (the consequences of his blinding rage) that we have to also accept as a part of him#this isn’t directed at anyone this is just a general problem i have with the fandom#i like him a lot and think he has faults we should also appreciate him for and that negative traits in a character don’t make them a bad#character but make them more interesting 👍#i think his anger is now brushed off as ‘oh yeah it’s justified’ and like yeah but also do you see how he almost killed bihan? how he#violently killed the guards?#how he would have done that to bihan if he was not stopped by a gaurd?#his anger is beyond something that’s just ‘justified’ it’s also something that *can* control him#and yes i’m aware he ended up sparing bihan after their fight but that’s not the point i’m making#kuai liang#talking;
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i dont want to give in to Modern Shapewear but i really hate when im trying to have a Fun Outfit and theres fucking Distinct Lines from various under wear bands (bra, undies, maybe a pair of tights?) all at separate points? that are impossible to hide bc the outer wear is fucking form fitting spandex
#toy txt post#if it were easier to make bespoke structured underclothing to create a smoother silhouette. god. i would. but thats so much more investment#in time and money and materials and hours to probably fuck it up at least the first coupke times vs just buying a fucking tummy control#camisole or some shit. but i cannot fucking stand the marketing around it. i dont want to put money to that. im not trying to Look Thinner#im trying to achieve a specific smoother silhouette w my clothing to look like a little clown and vintage silhouettes#rely so often on structured underclothing that the closest analogue to today is: fucking shapewear! unless i go out and get an actual#corset. but those tend to be more expensive. and im not aiming necessarily for the classic corset look i feel like a lot of the ones for#sale offer which seems to be very......booby. but the flatter more smoothing silhouette that was consistent between both menswear#and womenswear. the lengths it takes to be a nonbinary fucking clown. sighs deeply#also thinking again about the stupid fucking gold harley quinn jumpsuit i got like the movie that i Want to like and it Isnt Bad#but the material of the one in the movie is much thicker so its doesnt BEHAVE the same way as fucking form fitting spandex. and i know why#they did spandex. cos like. easier to sell cheaper to make fits a wider range etc. but i just want a fucking piece like that as an Actual#Garment of Clothing not a fucking spandex Halloween costume and couldnt find anything like it for less than $500. which is honestly#probably a reasonable price for labor and materials but not one i can justify? its just frustrating cos its So Close to good but the fuckin#Material just Ruins it for me and not even necessarily cos of like lack of shapewear lumpiness but like the way it drapes on the body the#way it stretches as spandex just looks Wrong. aaaaaaagaghgghghghggh#rage. anger. etc. need to learn how to sew my own shit at least a little. maybe a full length binder like 1 size up for comfort? scary#for context i also struggle with breathing from the lightest amount of Too Much Chest Compression. like sometimes bras will Get Me#so thats the other factor here. i dont know that this is necessarily looking for advice mostly im whining and complaining while doing#Nothing. ugh#also how much of this issue could be avoided if the form fitting spandex stuff had like. a lining. idk
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i am so angry... i should unpack more boxes and take a shower and maybe i'll be less angry
#it feels good to fucking explode when you feel justified to do so#but like. idk i don't want to get too comfy with Exploding in Justified Rage. more often than not it is Not Called For Actually#also trying to avoid venting on my public blog#see i should take a shower and unpack but i'm listening to the full version of the first mob psycho 100 opening and daaaamnnnn its so good#i need a text post tag#negative
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[戦国無双] ~四国遠征の章~ [Sengoku Musou] ~Shikoku Ensei no Shou~
#samurai warriors#sengoku musou#chosokabe motochika#akechi mitsuhide#gif set#butai#stageplay#translations by me#this is one of my favorite scenes from the stageplay the heaviness the slow pacing of the dialogue the expressions the TEARS#motochika is as strong as steel like the love of your life just asked you to just let them die and he just said o k#the instant understanding between the two of them at that moment is also so well done#and then chika had to WATCH mitsu die my god the moment he loses his composure and yells his name and throws himself to the ground AHHHfkgm#and then just to destroy him further mitsu says the sea line I SCREAMED#all the raging grief and hopelessness chika feels for the rest of the play is so well justified#a thousand praises for chika's actor i mean wow
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okay so an additional PMS symptom that popped up for me since starting nexplanon was like.....major rage and getting illogically angry. especially in regards to injustices against women i was just..... completely enraged about it all
#im not saying that anger over injustice against women is not justified#just for me it was pretty out of left field since im a pretty non confrontational person#still not sure how im feeling about it since i kinda felt like a Strong Woman#but i mostly just raged about stuff to B and im not sure how productive that was#anyway just some thoughts#nexplanon#pipe down carlee
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I'm so burnt out my dudes
#explains why the past two weeks ive been at my limit/only have like 2 spoons to deal with after work and by god do they go fast#like the tolerance i have for anything is so low lately and im sure it's autism burnout :/#and idk what to do ab it bc i can't bring up the tism to my therapist bc oh youre not autistic. bitch i mask well ive had to for 20 years#straight! and i only talk to you for an hour once a month so like... how would you know#anyway i have 0 tolerance for like anything anymore and it's so frustrating#and sometimes i give into that and will seek out shit that will make me mad so i have SOMEBODY to blame my anger on#i dont interact other than reading/lurking but i sit here irl bitching to myself like 'yeah that happens bc youre a little fucking brat'#and most of the shit is stuff id roll my eyes at and scroll past in a good/neutral mood! but the burnout brain is like no theyre doing this#on PURPOSE they're like this to piss me off specifically. and it's like... how do i channel this energy into a non harmful way when#im so fucking burnt out? aside from stepping away from social media bc id seek it out elsewhere lmao trust me id pry ab my#cousins bc they are so fucking stupid and rude and the 'perfect' ones to latch onto and bitch ab bc my brain needs something to#justify this rage and anger and it's so stupid but sometimes that anger feels good? idk it's stupid but like i said i never interact#directly bc im not an asshole lmao im not gonna like call my cousins and be like lol yeah thats all your fault xoxo hope that helps bitch!#marquilla#idk where i was going with this lmao#this barbie has autistic burnout!
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tag drop dao companions +
morrigan // men are always willing to believe two things about a woman; one: that she is weak; and two: that she finds him attractive,
zevran // magic can kill; knives can kill; even small children launched at great speed could kill,
alistair // one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together,
wynne // if you decide to slaughter me out of hand; I'm sure you would at least inform me first,
oghren // they lie on the ground looking like an ordinary pair of pants; that's when they strike,
leliana // i specialized in blending in; not drawing attention and looking like I had every right to be there,
shale // i have an extremely justified rage of the flying vermin that plague this world
sten //
tamlen // it's cold here; do you feel it; the chill eats at my bones
merrill //
#tamlen // it's cold here; do you feel it; the chill eats at my bones#morrigan // men are always willing to believe two things about a woman; one: that she is weak; and two: that she finds him attractive#zevran // magic can kill; knives can kill; even small children launched at great speed could kill#alistair // one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together#wynne // if you decide to slaughter me out of hand; I'm sure you would at least inform me first#oghren // they lie on the ground looking like an ordinary pair of pants; that's when they strike#leliana // i specialized in blending in; not drawing attention and looking like I had every right to be there#shale // i have an extremely justified rage of the flying vermin that plague this world
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