Shortly following my previous session, I continue with the main protags of XC3. I’ve always wanted to give a go with Noah when the game got revealed, but never bothered to try that until now. I kept flipping back on how foofed I wanted his bangs to be.
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I feel so sad this sucks i can't stop thinking about doing everything wrong with v I feel like im gonna cry I hate going to sleep early the day after I stay up it's just hours of laying down with stupid train of thoughts that come at night and I can't sleep I just want to sleep I don't want to feel so awful in the morning I don't want to feel awful right now I wish I could just get my thoughts in order get to the point and cry and be done with it. Nothing is going to change from yesterday to today to tomorrow I will just have been miserable and things won't change because of it I wish the world was kinder I wish the world wasn't so cruel I wish things were different I want to cry and now I can't even feel that anymore.
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things im still not over (as someone who was mostly inactive since mid 2021):
mask and change my clothes!! i dont think i was active on tumblr when change my clothes was released, but the way i ascended when i heard his soft sweet singing voice <33 mask is my favorite song of his and it still makes me emotional to think about what the song meant to him. his creativity is one of his greatest strengths and i am endlessly happy that he found a way to share more of himself in a way that he really enjoys
DREAM TEAM MEETUP tbh i really did not know if these days would ever come. its so so so crazy to think that florida man dream texas cowboy sapnap and british george are really all living together and existing in the same space. seeing them be THEM irl is still very surreal and makes me pause for a second without fail. so so much of the community centered around them not having met each other irl
DREAM FACE REVEAL!!!! this one i REALLY HONESTLY didnt know if it would ever come, just because the courage it takes to face reveal after building one of the largest audiences is fucking crazy. i thought that even if they did end up living together, dream might’ve found that he is happy to just be with them and not want to face reveal anymore. ig never doubt dream- he’s such a “go big or go home” type of person. i love him regardless but now he is also a big bear who wears cat beanies and has the prettiest eyes and im emotionally attached
dream pics before his face reveal with a big emphasis on suit pics, swt halloween, and strawberry dream. his white hoodie posey pose and the ones with the blanket and patches have a permanent home in my heart but these had me convulsing and i didnt get to gush about them here </3
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Today.............. has genuinely. Been. A Day.
Have some OC doodles I started yesterday before tragedy struck and are like the bare minimum effort for today to finish. Since the two princes were originally not /in canon/ for another plot but rather made for a mafia AU as cousins to one of the main characters for the base plot. I was like. Huh let's give them a happier life. So here they're just princes and instead of the police department/detectives that most of the main cast is in base plot, those are the royal guards around the twins' castle.
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...so sadly I'm back in the Bethesda Caves....again...[angrily] chasing shadows and modding FO4...
So far things work...but knowing how that game is...*sigh*
Anyway main thing is I've been really into overgrowth/forest environment mods lately for that game and I decided to take my old one out since it was giving me so much trouble last time and try another, but there's another out there that's actually more overgrowth AND trees than just...trees.
But it's still in beta and requires so much reading (reading the process to get it in the game ain't the problem btw) that I decided to just sit in the discord, read, and wait.
The one I have now should suffice with the theme of the game I got going so far but yeah...for a while I got tired of the Scorched Apocalypse look cos seriously that's been over done for games/stories that start like...200+ years (basically Post Post Apocalypse) after the Post Apoc started and like...I'd like to think that nature is a LOT more resilient than we'd like to write about in stories sometimes so having a mod that reflects that...ish...not perfect or scientifically accurate, but enough to where like...it gets the point across that you're in a world that's been through a lot worse nature wise and is now "healing"...even if that healing is just...Not Good for your chances of survival in said Post Post Apocalyptic Story.
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